#not Andrew being biased as fuck

[dailyaftgquotes]

"Neil reached behind Andrew and popped Kevin in the back of the head to shut him up. Matt choked on a laugh and tried unsuccessfully to pass it off as a cough. Kevin froze for a startled second, then sent Neil a scathing look. 

"No one wants to hear that right now," Neil said. "If you hit me again," Kevin started. Andrew cut in with a casual, "You'll what?"

-Nora Sakavic, The King's Men, page 218

[ninyard]

Nicky: yeah he slept with a chair in his room and a knife nearby so we think he’s just insane

Neil: ……

No but rlly, no matter how you feel about Nicky, on one hand I am an outside observer so reading this exchange I’m like “oh ffs obviously that’s not why! That makes no sense!” But then I think about it more and it’s actually probably really realistic? Nicky doesn’t know what andrew went through, he probably didn’t think his life in foster care was that bad, that kind of abuse just isn’t on his radar bc he’s had different experiences and exposures, so the possibility of anything else just doesn’t cross his mind, plus he’s already biased to think andrew is just naturally “like that” bc that’s the assumption he’s already been operating under, plus the natural inclination of ppl to not want to see awful things. It makes sense for him and Aaron that that’s the conclusion they come to, and that makes me so mad at the world for reasons I can’t quite articulate

Sorry for hitting you with this out of nowhere I actually meant to say something else but idr what bc I clicked the ask button and this is what came out instead xD

Oh 100%. I GET it. I understand why everyone has this perception of Andrew that he’s, in their own words, a monster. That he’s a loveless, emotionless sociopath. Imagine Aaron, excited to meet the twin he didn’t even know he had, and the first thing he says to you is fuck off, fuck you, leave me the fuck alone?

Imagine you meet the cousin you didn’t even know you had, and for some reason you don’t know about, he’s been in your house for how long? He’s been there for how long before he’s made an enemy out of your father, out of your aunt, he won’t talk to the cousin you did know about, he’s angry and depressed and he keeps knives under these arm bands he refuses to take off? He’s like Aaron in a different shade, like the dark version of a person already dark and destroyed. But he won’t talk to you. Why won’t you talk to us, Andrew? And all you get in response is a knife, or a blank stare, or a fuck off, fuck you, leave me the fuck alone?

Then your aunt is dead, and he’s alive, and the cousin you did know about is grieving and angry, and you, Nicky, who has fought so hard to keep the peace in your household, are now surrounded by negativity, and anger, and past problems that nobody fucking wants to deal with?

I get it.

Then they’re at Eden’s, and he hears it over his shoulder, the shouted slur. And then Andrew, who barely even talks to him anyway when they’re out drinking is on top of this stranger in a flash. And there’s blood, and the stranger stops fighting back. But Andrew’s fists keep coming back, and keep coming back, and keep coming back.

He nearly kills him. He nearly kills him. He nearly kills him. For you. Because you don’t know that he’s gay. You don’t know the weight of the word shouted your way. He’s protecting you. He’s protecting you.

You’re scared of him. He gets locked up. Whatever the timeline is pre-tfc. You’re scared of the cousin you didn’t know you had.

I get it.

But imagine being Andrew. They don’t ask what happened. They take the courts word for it when they say you’re a danger to society. They take the courts word for it when they say your depressive episodes are a danger to yourself. You tried. You tried to tell someone, but it’s a misunderstanding, and god’s intention, and your fault. So why bother trying again?

You spend all this time on this medication that makes you feel worse than anything you’ve ever been on - you spend years of your life in this haze, a mixture derealisation and constant and unending mania. You’re sick without it. You’re sick on it. You don’t remember who you are without it. You don’t want to know who you will be without it.

And imagine being Andrew, and it takes being violated in your cousins childhood bedroom, or just a room in his childhood home, for them to finally get it? Your autonomy stolen from you. Your secrets exposed without permission, again. Your consent is never your own choice. It never has been.

Oh and then let’s think about Nicky. And all that’s in his head is ANDREW IS WORSE WITHOUT HIS MEDS.

Maybe he hears the laugh from the bottom of the stairs. Maybe he only hears Neil talking about it. ANDREW WAS LAUGHING. HE WAS LAUGHING. HE WAS VIOLATED AND DESTROYED AND COVERED IN BLOOD AND HE WAS LAUGHING.

And this has happened before?

And Drake was not the only one?

Does it make sense now?

Is he a sociopath or was he made to be that way? Is he crazy or was this someone else’s fault? Does he protect his family because nobody protected him?

Why didn’t he tell me? Why did this happen under the roof of my family home?

In theory I hate how they don’t know what Andrew is really like. How they’re afraid of him off his meds. But it makes sense why. I get it. Why the fuck would they not think that?

But I think they understand how wrong they were eventually. I think they see how he might not smile anymore - but he is much happier now.

[kevindayscrown]

The Foxes and their Dungeons and Dragons classes (Part 1?)

It's time to combine the two things I obsess over the most right now. Aftg and DND. This is a self-indulgent list, but even if you know nothing about DND, this might still be entertaining:)

So, each character gets two classes; the one they would play as, if they were people who simply played the game, and one they would be if they were in the world of Dungeons and Dragons.

Neil: Play as -> Neil would probably enjoy the fun and chaos that comes with being a (wild magic) sorcerer since it has the magic system that's quite fun, and also the chaos and the offence gameplay.

Be -> Neil in the world of Dungeons and Dragons would be a rogue (assassin), plain and simple. Sneaky, lethal, a glass canon, more dexterous than physically strong.

Andrew: Play as -> I think Andrew would not bother learning all the rules for the very complicated classes (even though he can easily memorise them), so he'd probably enjoy simply smashing things as a Barbarian.

Be -> Andrew would also be a rogue, the meme kind who caries daggers all over his body. He also has quite high Intelligence and/or Wisdomn stats, so he would probably work well as an Inquisitive, to read people and root out secrets.

Kevin: Play as -> I think Kevin, being a more tactical and strategic person, would enjoy the Battlemaster Fighter, with all the thinking he would have to do to plan out a successful combat on his part. He'd be hesitant to try a spellcaster, but I can also see him eventually enjoying Wizard, for the combination of utility and damage.

Be -> Maybe I'm biased because I love them, but I think Kevin would be a Paladin. I'm thinking a Paladin forced to swear an Oath to whatever tenets the Moriyamas force him to abide by, and then becoming an Oathbreaker. Eventually, he'd find the right Oath for him. Paladins are the big damage dealers and have enough features they need to be wary of to also make them good strategists.

Aaron: Play as -> Aaron at firsts probably considers DND to be a very stupid nerdy game and absolutely refuses to play as a spell caster. He opts for something like Champion Fighter Human, the most basic of classes. But eventually, he gets so hooked that he starts experimenting and ends up wanting to try all the classes.

Be: He'd be a Cleric, the type that people would expect to do all the healing but who actually prefers to just fuck shit up and wait until half of his companions are unconscious before finally 'wasting' his spell slots to heal them, calling them incompetent for relying on him.

Okay, that's it for now, if I see that people enjoy this part, I might come back to it with the rest of the foxes:3

[radio-heads]

omg…quarry and aftg brainworms. me too. been picturing the aftg characters in the quarry and giggling to myself. thoughts?

i have a lot of thoughts omg. whether i can put them into coherent sentences?? up for debate

but i am so willing to try.

(heads up the trojans won't be talked about in this for rn because i'm still rereading tsc and am trying to get a grasp of the characters and their personalities etc etc. i'll probably add to this in the future.)

first and foremost- majority of the aftg characters would probably survive. at least, that's what i think. some of them would survive accidentally, others on purpose, and some you are left wondering how they survived at all.

neil survives because that's what he's done all his life- survive. he knows how to stay alive. sort of. andrew is also partially to thank for neil surviving.

andrew keeps kevin alive, too.

and andrew being the man he is (affectionate) would survive no problem.

i think aaron would manage to survive by sheer luck and the exy racket that he spawned with. he would beat the werewolves to death.

matt is a fucking tank. he'd body those werewolves.

renee would survive without a doubt, she could fist fight the werewolves and win. whether she does that or not is up for debate, but she has dan and allison at her side. that trio would make it out alive.

dan would keep them all in line, though, and make sure they handled this together. she's captain for a reason and is damn good at her job and i think that would apply here as well.

the foxes are resourceful and they are very capable.

they got this.

PERHAPS i am being too generous with their skills and perhaps i am heavily biased wanting them to live because i love them so much.

but they are also a team of wild, traumatized kids that play exy. they would survive.

i'll probably come back to this at some point when i am capable of forming coherent sentences and can go into more depth about why i think they'd all live. if i remember. ✨

[foxstens]

awww come on! defend him! why do you think kevin is not a coward?? 🙏 he totally is btw 😉

okay i'll bite, just because you asked nicely.

i still don't understand what exactly about his behavior would make you or anyone think he's a coward. in the trilogy we see him from neil's perspective, who is biased and has this tendency to disregard his own well-being - something the other characters point out repeatedly as not a good thing.

by comparison kevin's reactions to what's happening are a bit more normal. he grew up in a cult, watched neil's father cut up a man into pieces for defying the moriyamas when he was a child, who knows what else riko and tetsuji did to ensure he's afraid of the family in general and not just the two of them.

and like, kevin knows a lot. he spent years with never more than a room between him and riko, he probably knows almost as much as riko about the family business. which means, he understands what they're capable of and he understands what they'll do to him and everyone he cares about if they deem him a threat. being afraid of and doing whatever you can to avoid pain and death is not a bad thing? most people would do the same in his situation.

the books say riko is working with scraps and still has an incredible amount of power, we see exactly what the consequences of neil running his mouth are. why would kevin want to make things even worse, especially since riko is to him as neil's father is to neil. we don't really see neil mouthing off to his father even when he's sure he's going to die, because he's fucking terrified of the man!!!

i also don't think we can really compare their attitudes for multiple reasons. they're different people, and neil can afford not to be afraid of riko because he's seen worse, he also doesn't seem to fully comprehend how far riko is willing to go. but kevin spent a decade in the nest, he grew up under their tyranny and he was punished who knows how every time he dared speak up against them.

neil also spends most of the trilogy resigned that he's going to die soon so he's willing to gamble with his own well-being. kevin on the other hand, he has hope. he has a father and a new team and a chance at recovering his career, aka the one thing he's been raised to care about. not wanting to gamble all that doesn't make him a coward.

and like, what exactly do you want from him? we see him standing up to riko as soon as they're backstage on kathy's show. he tells neil to run even if he knows it'll cost them the season. he lies to andrew for months, twice, despite knowing how andrew will react.

if you think he's a coward just because he doesn't fist fight riko at the first available opportunity, idk what to tell you.

btw how come nobody calls jean a coward, for, you know, having the same mindset as kevin in the first book. don't even get me started how from jean's perspective kevin is insane for saying he's never been skiing and covering up his tattoo

[etfrin]

chapter two: being the extra | blackout

warning : sfw | none !

pairing : Andrew x Neil x oc! Male character

beta read / editor : @shawol-lisa-lee9

summary : Abraxas gets picked up from the airport !

a/n : existing

navigation | masterlist | previous chapter

Abraxas hates crowds. He hates the noise. He hates the people in airports who always seem to be in a rush and never slow down. It reminds him how fast life is. Maybe he's biased; he has a bad relationship with airports after all.

Well, at least he’s on the ground again now. He’s waiting for Neil's flight to land. A quick check on the premises reveals that Andrew hasn't arrived either. He taps his foot as someone announces that Neil's flight has landed.

For a moment, Abraxas wants to go in the other direction, away from Neil. Even though days have passed and he has graduated, this doesn't feel any more real than it did yesterday. He notices Neil's downright offensive clothing before he even recognizes the boy.

Abraxas calls him over with a shout.

“Neil! Here, buddy!”

He smiles as he sees Neil notice him. The black-haired boy has a frown on his face. Abraxas realizes it's his fault: now several people are staring at him because of his loud voice. He forgot for a second that Neil Josten doesn't like attention.

“Let's go,” he says.

Abraxas has a suitcase at hand and a duffle bag slung on his shoulder. The only personal item he’s going to bring to university other than his clothes are his books, which will be arriving soon. Abraxas follows Neil as they both walk towards the exit.

He doesn't mind that Neil doesn't start up any conversation. It’s to be expected. Abraxas knows he has to earn his trust first. Plus, he had been a member from a rival team that won against his’; Abraxas was sure he was going to be a bit disappointed, at least.

Abraxas finds Andrew's gaze. The blonde is looking at Neil. Again, it’s something to be expected. He knows better than to take it to heart that he isn't receiving any attention.

Abraxas doesn't feel deserving of Andrew's gaze anyway. He knows Andrew’s interest is much more valuable than he is worth.Instead, Abraxas feels excited to talk to Andrew for the first time. He can feel his heart in his ribcage; it’s beating so fast that he can hear the rhythm much more clearly than ever. He wants to make a good impression. As good as you can hope to get with the monsters, which isn't much, but, hey, it's worth a try!

“Hi Andrew!” He can't help but let out a cheerful voice.

He freezes, realizing his mistake.

Abraxas has royally fucked up.

In the books, not even Neil knew which twin it was until much later. The fact that Abraxas greeted him so surely has to be surprising. And… suspicious. Abraxas wants to curse at himself. Of course he would do something so stupid. It's expected of him. Why did he think he could do any better?

Andrew raises his eyebrows. Despite the fact that Abraxas is taller, he feels crushed under Andrew's stare. “Lucky guess.” Abraxas tries to laugh it off, but he knows in his mind it might have not worked.

Even Neil is looking at him.

"Neil," Andrew says in lieu of hello, and he points. "Baggage claim."

"Just this." Neil taps the strap of the duffel.

Andrew accepts that without another comment. He doesn't even acknowledge Abraxas. Abraxas fists his hand until he can feel the nails digging into his skin. It's fine. It's fine. He doesn't need acknowledgement.

Andrew starts smoking midway as they are walking towards the car. Neil opens his mouth to ask, “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess,” Abraxas insists again.

Neil's eyes call him a liar.

Abraxas doesn't say anything further.

A sleek black car is parked six rows back in the short-term parking garage. Abraxas knows it’s expensive. Andrew unlocks it with a button on his key chain.

"Bags in the trunk," he says, opening the driver's door and sitting sideways in the seat to smoke.

Both Abraxas and Neil obey. With his suitcase and Neil's duffle bag, there’s not enough space to put his duffle bag, so Abraxas decides to place it on the back seat and climbs in. Neil climbs into the passenger seat.

Andrew waits until his cigarette is halfway finished. He flicks the butt onto the concrete at his feet and tugs the door closed. A twist of the key in the ignition gets the engine humming, and Andrew glances at Neil before glancing at Abraxas through the looking glass.

Abraxas meets his gaze but is the first to look away. He turns his head toward the window instead. The ride is quiet, but it wasn't supposed to be so in the book. Abraxas realizes Andrew won't interact with Neil as long as he's between earshot, so he takes out his headphones and starts playing music.

Abraxas has the volume down to the lowest possible so he can hear their conversation. One of their very first. He knows that he’s slightly intruding, but he needs to hear them interact himself. Even if it is just to satisfy his fanboy heart.

"Neil Josten," Andrew says, as if testing the way it sounds. "Staying the summer, hm?” His voice is mocking, sounding as if implying Neil wouldn't last an hour.

“Yes,” Neil replies.

Andrew cranks the air conditioner up as high as it can go. "That makes five of us, but word is you're going to stay with Coach.”

“The both of us are,” Neil says. Neil briefly flicks his eyes at the looking glass; Abraxas keeps his eyes strictly on the street view.

"Kevin stays on campus?" he asks.

"Where the court is, Kevin is. He can't exist without it," Andrew says derisively.

"I didn't think it was the court Kevin was staying for," Neil says.

Andrew doesn't answer.

Andrew pulls at the wheel, sliding the car from one lane to the other without bothering to check the traffic around him. Horns blare behind them. Neil watches in the rearview mirror as cars swerve to avoid hitting them.

"It's too nice of a car to wreck," he says pointedly.

"Don't be so afraid to die," Andrew says as the car keeps gliding across the four-lane road to an exit ramp. "If you are, you have no place on our court."

"We're talking about a sport, not a death match."

"Same difference," Andrew says. "You're playing for a Class I team with Kevin on your line. People are always willing to bleed for him. You've seen the news, I assume."

"I've seen it," Neil says.

Abraxas slips his headphones off. Both Neil and Andrew notice the movement, yet they don't stop talking. “It’s a reaction to be expected,” Neil says.

“They're extreme,” Abraxas butts in. “They cross the limit.”

Neil and Andrew stay quiet, as if in agreement.

The apartment complex where Wymack lives is a twenty-minute drive from the airport. The parking lot is mostly empty since it's mid-afternoon on a workday, but there are three people waiting on the sidewalk.

Aaron, Kevin, and Nicky.

Nicky, aka Nicholas Hemmick, is the only one genuinely smiling at the pair. Abraxas is glad for the lukewarm welcome. Nicholas walks up to them. Abraxas smiles back at him.

“Hey!” Nicky says. “Welcome to South Carolina. Flight go okay?”

“It was fine,” Neil and Abraxas answer at the same time. They look at each other, and Abraxas grin gets wider while Neil frowns.

“I am Nicky,” he introduces himself. "Andrew and Aaron's cousin, backliner extraordinaire.”

Abraxas already knows they are cousins by blood, but Neil doesn't. Neil bluntly asks, “By blood?”

Nicky laughs. "Don't look it, right? Take care of my mom. Dad 'rescued' her from Mexico during some la-di-dah ministry trip." He makes a show of rolling his eyes, then jerks a thumb at the others.

"You already met them, right? Aaron, Andrew, Kevin? Coach was supposed to be here to let you in, but he had to head up to the stadium real quick. The ERC called him, probably with more BS about how we haven't publicized our subs yet. In the meantime, you're stuck with us, but we've got Coach's keys. More suitcases in the trunk?”

Abraxas and Neil reply at the same time,

“Just this."

“Y'all pack light,” Nicky remarks, and sighs, “Wish I could do that too.”

The rest of the interaction goes the same way. Neil finds out the car is from the insurance money of Andrew and Aaron's mom. And they ride up to the 7th elevator. Wymack's apartment is number 724. They get in; Neil doesn’t. Instead, he has a haunted look in his eyes, but when he realizes Andrew is looking at him, he gets in as well.

Abraxas is going to stay with Neil, crashing on Wymack's bean-like chair while Neil takes the couch.

The couch and chair Wymack had referenced are cleared off and even have sticky notes tacked to them saying that the blankets are in the coffee table drawer. That is the only clean surface in the room. Everything else is covered in paperwork and empty coffee mugs. Overflowing ashtrays are in unhealthy abundance as well.

Abraxas is halfway across the room with Neil when Nicky's voice rises up. “What the hell was that about?” Abraxas freezes; they were supposed to be speaking German now. But it sounded like English in his head, like the words were getting translated. Neil has frozen as well, trying to do the math to see if they know or not.

They don't.

"Maybe he was savoring the moment," Aaron says.

"No," Nicky says. "That was pure fight or flight. What the hell did you say to Neil, Andrew?”

“How about a tour?” Abraxas interrupts them before the conversation goes any longer. “What language was that, by the way?”

“That's German,” Nicky says. “I can always teach you if you want!”

Abraxas nods.

There isn't much to look at. A bathroom and kitchen sit opposite each other, and the bedrooms are at the end of the hall. Wymack has converted the second bedroom into an office. The office makes up for the bare living room walls, covered with newspaper articles, team photos, outdated calendars, and miscellaneous certificates. Two bookshelves line the wall, one full of Exy books, the other a mishmash of everything from travel guides to classic literature. Wymack's desk is buried in paperwork, not an inch of wood visible, and Abraxas’s file is on top. Holding down one corner is a hefty prescription bottle. Nicky scoops the bottle up with a triumphant sound and twists the lid off.

"That's not yours," Neil says.

"Painkillers," Nicky says, ignoring that implicit accusation. "Coach shattered his hip a few years ago, you know? That's how he met Abby. She was his therapist, and he got her the job here. The team's still split fifty-fifty on whether or not they're boning. Andrew refuses to vote, which means you both can be the tiebreaker. Let us know ASAP. I've got money riding on it."

He shakes a couple pills into his hand, screws the lid on, and puts the bottle back. Neil looks to see what the others thought of this, but Andrew and Kevin have vanished. Only Aaron remains, and he doesn't look at all concerned.

"You'll meet Abby tonight at dinner," Nicky says, stuffing the pills into his pocket. "We've got a couple hours to kill before then, so maybe we can take you by the court and let you gawk at it. We've got the perfect number for scrimmages now. Kevin's probably pissing himself off in excitement."

"I doubt that," Neil says, probably thinking of Kevin's dispassionate expression downstairs.

"Isn't it difficult playing with him?" he asks, changing what he'd been about to say. "I mean, with him being a champion."

"Technically, we haven't played with him yet," Nicky says. "He just started getting into drills with us last month. If he's anything on the line like he is as an assistant coach, you are going to have the most awful year ever." Despite his ominous words, Nicky sounds amused. "But he's worth it."

“That I suppose he is,” Abraxas replies, but he can't help but look at Neil as he says that.

Andrew appears in the doorway with a bottle of whiskey in one hand and Kevin at his back. "Success."

"Ready, Neil?" Nicky asks. "We should probably beat it before Coach shows up."

"Why?" Neil points at the liquor. "Is this a robbery in progress?"

"Maybe it is. Will you tell Coach about us?" Andrew asks, sounding entertained by the notion. "So much for being a team player. I guess you really are a fox."

"No," Neil says, "but I would ask him why you're not medicated."

There is a heartbeat of startled silence. The only one who doesn't react is Andrew; even Kevin looks surprised.

Neil turns to Abraxas, and in an accusing tone, he says, “And you knew.”

“I didn’t, it was a lucky guess,” Abraxas repeats as all the heads turn to him.

Nicky is the first to find his tongue, but he reverts to German to ask Aaron, "Am I crazy? Did I just see that happen?"

"Don't look at me," Aaron says.

"I'd prefer an answer in English," Neil says.

Andrew puts a thumb in the corner of his mouth and drags it along his lips to erase his smile. "That sounds like an accusation, but I didn't lie to you."

“You didn't have to; it was rather obvious,” Abraxas says, all attention returning to him.

“How so?” Andrew asks, raising an eyebrow.

Abraxas doesn't know what to say; just in time, Coach Wymack walks in. Thank God for small mercies.

"Hi Coach," Andrew calls over his shoulder.

"Do you have any idea how much I hate coming home and finding you in my apartment?" Wymack demands from out of sight.

Andrew holds up his empty hands in an innocent gesture that no one believes and steps into the hallway. Aaron and Kevin go after him, presumably with the alcohol tucked between their bodies, and leave Nicky and Neil in the office.

"I didn't break anything this time," Andrew says.

"I'll believe that after I've checked everything I own." The door slams down the hall, and it’s not long before Coach steps into his office doorway. Clad in jean shorts and a faded tee, Wymack looks more like a garage band rocker than a university coach.

“Glad to see you survived Nicky's driving.”

“Both of us have survived worse,” Abraxas replies.

Nicky butted in, “Let's go.”

It turns out they wanted to take them both to court, but Abraxas is too mentally tired. Not only has he found out he understands German, he also has no way to explain how he knew it was Andrew that picked them, and that he wasn't medicated. He could chalk it all up to luck. But he knows the two most important people wouldn't believe that.

“I'll stay here,” Abraxas says.

No one tries to convince him otherwise.

After all, he isn't needed for the story to continue.

───※ ·❆· ※───

Coach Wymack and Abigail - their team nurse - are already in the kitchen when the group arrives. Wymack is grumbling as he digs through the silverware drawer, and Abigail ignores him in favor of stirring something at the stove. Coach spots the Foxes first and stabs a finger at Nicky.

"Hemmick, get over here and be useful for once in your mangy life. The table needs setting."

"Aww, Coach," Nicky complains as Abigail turns. "Why do you always have to pick on me? You have already started it. Can't you finish?"

"Shut your face and get to work."

"Can't you two behave when we've got guests?" Abigail asks, setting aside her spoon and going to greet them.

Wymack rakes the group with a look. "I don't see any guests. They're foxes now. They're not going to get any special treatment just because it's their first day. I don't want them thinking this team is anything but dysfunctional, or June will be a rude wake-up call.”

Abraxas watches them interact in the corner. Abby tries to grab Andrew's whiskey but fails. Abby calls out Nicky. All the scenes play out exactly as he imagined. It fills his heart with warmth. He smiles as he leans on the wall.

Nicky sees him and smiles back.

He chuckles softly as Neil finds out about the therapist. Neil's hateful reaction was always a bit funny to him. “Oh, if only a therapist could fix us,” Abraxas lets out sarcastically, “the world would be rainbows and sunshine.”

Abby frowns. “Therapists are meant to help people heal.”

"Yeah, right,” Abraxas mutters underneath his breath. It’s not surprising that Abraxas hates therapists. After the incident, they always forced him to talk about it. Again and again, they made him relive the memory as if that could heal him. As if that would make him feel like his life hadn't ended, no matter what anyone said. They were quick to rip up healed wounds and let them bleed.

Abby frowns harder but doesn't say anything back.

───※ ·❆· ※───

They are in the apartment now. As much as Abraxas wants to take one of the classic literature books from Wymack's shelf, he barely stops himself. He wants Neil to talk to him more, and what better topic than Exy?

Neil is talking to Wymack, and Abraxas overhear Wymack saying something about repeating six outfits. Abraxas opens his suitcase and takes out the brand new, completely casual—the type that won't attract any attention—clothes and goes towards them.

“I.. uh..” he begins, “I couldn't help but overhear—but anyways,” he hands Neil the pile of clothes before he can protest. Abraxas says, “I bought them yesterday, but I accidentally bought the wrong size. It should fit you.”

“I don't need your pity,” Neil's snap, his voice ice.

“It's not pity,” Abraxas frowns, not sure how to convince Neil to take these. He takes a small breath and changes his expression to nonchalant. “Listen, I can't refund these. And I'll forget to donate them so they will rot in my cupboard.” Saying the next words hurts. “Take them or not," please do. “I don't care.” I do.

This seems to do the trick, and Neil quickly glances at the outfits, quickly deciding they weren't too flashy. He nods, and looks physically pained as he said, “I will pay back for these”

A small smile blooms on Abraxas face. “Sure.”

After this, Neil goes running while Wymack is in the office going through paperwork. Abraxas sits on his chair, a blanket on his lap. He decides to watch the movie airing. An hour goes by like that, and when he hears the door opening, he changes the movie to an exy sports channel. A match is being replayed.

Abraxas frowns like the players are doing something wrong—he has no idea if they are—but he assumes that's how he would get Neil to react.

“Damn it,” he says. “They're playing so badly.”

Neil, who has dragged his body to the couch, focuses his attention on the TV. “No, they aren't,” he lets out, breathless.

“They are,” Abraxas says. He spews out reasons that are completely bullshit, and Neil shoots down each of them. The back and forth continues until Abraxas fills himself and relaxes onto the couch. His head is spinning too fast to keep up. His mind is getting blurry, and the noise of the TV is softening.

Abraxas yawns, “Good night.”

A beat later, he hears, “Night.”

Abraxas falls asleep with a smile on his face.

This is how their first night ends.

[blooming-violets]

Sorry this is gonna be a bit of a rant since it’s something I’ve had strong feelings about since joining the AG/TASM fanfic part of the internet, and you’ve provided me a great opportunity to talk about it.

As a trans person, I am BEGGING fanfic writers to stop writing Marauders stuff. I’ve seen so many people defend it with “separate art from the artist” but like it or not they are still supporting JKR. Separating art from the artist only really works when the artist can’t profit from it. She has done SO MUCH harm to trans people and particularly trans youth in the UK and it’s so fucking disheartening and gives me such an ick when I see TASM writers also write for Marauders because it truly comes across as “I love and support the trans community except when it comes to this because I like it.”.

Even if you ignore the transphobia and holocaust denial (YES IM SERIOUS, she’s denied parts of the holocaust at LEAST twice and she literally did it a second time the other day), the original writing is so fucking problematic. Things just off the top of my head being;

The goblins being stereotypes of Jewish people

The fucking racism with characters like Cho Chang and Kingsley Shacklebolt

The last Fantastic Beasts movie’s plot literally being trying to make WW2 and the holocaust happen

This point needs to be taken with a grain of salt since this was some bullshit Joanne said after the books came out, but werewolves in the universe being meant to represent people with aids. Which is so fucking awful considering one of the two werewolves was attacked by the other as a CHILD

The most ironic part of this is that if Andrew is truly the person he presents himself as, he would probably fucking despise being associated with HP, even if it is just a fancast. But yeah all this to say fuck JKR, fuck Marauders fans but also thank you so much Katie for that last anon answer because I genuinely don’t see that enough in this corner of the internet.

Even Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter himself, has spoken out against her and continues to loudly support the LGBTQ+ communities. When your own beloved Harry doesn't even want to stand by your side, you should know you fucked up. Sadly, she does not, and instead leans harder into her bigotry and hatred.

I've always been someone who is very loud and opinionated when I see things that I disagree with, which I know can rub some people the wrong way, but fuck it. I don't like to whisper about my issues on the sidelines, I like to confront the problem head on by being very clear about where I stand and how I feel. I'm not gonna sit around and let someone align me with JKR just because I'm writing a stupid werewolf and Peter Parker fic that exactly 5 people are reading lol. It's not even a popular fic like get out of my asks jfc. Esp when I can tell this person has not read a single sentence of my story and is completely basing their judgements on my header image of AG's face next to a wolf gif.

In this past week I have seen both a Steven Harrington werewolf au and a Daredevil werewolf au cross my dash. Do we think they're getting called out for supporting HP?? No. Because their actors weren't "fan casted" as something years ago. Fan casts don't even mean anything! There was never a movie about them. AG was never casted or played this role. It's literally nothing but a bunch of fans agreeing that they like his look for a fictional character.

Anyway, I'm also ranting back at you haha. You can rant to me anytime. I love a good rant and I agree with you 100%.

Werewolves were not created by JKR. Andrew Garfield has nothing to do with Harry Potter. Don't make make snap judgments about a person's character based on a picture you saw. Support your trans community. Don't be dick.

And, if they actually read my werewolf au, they would see that it's literally about learning to overcome your own hatred and biases of people different from you and learning to love those you were taught to hate. Crazy concept, I know! 🙄😉

[my-mt-heart]

Look I'm not a caryler but I watch the show since the beginning and I'm seeing the constant discussion here about Melissa and the spin-off and I'm just giving my unrequested two cents, I think you guys are expecting two much from a dead franchise, we all know the only spin off that will make some noise is the Rick and Michonne one and only because people are curious to know what happened to them, AMC needs to capture a new audience, TWD it's their biggest product right now and they don't want to just please segregated fandoms.

Melissa is a great actress that's for sure, no one will question that but her and Carol were never the face of the franchise like Rick, Daryl and Michonne, so it's easy for them to push her aside and make a Daryl centric show, they see how Daryl was always the most popular one and don't twice to make that happened because Daryl is AMC property, they don't have to pay Robert Kirkman and co to use him.

My opinion on her being back it's because she signed a contract and needs to fulfill that, I don't see nothing changing in terms of her and Daryl relationship, it would make sense to make them canon in the mothership show but I don't see them bothering to pull the trigger in the spin off.

To me they will remain best friends and Daryl will stay single with the constant ship baiting.

Sorry if that's too long or if you find disrespectful.

There's a lot to unpack here. Bear with me.

You're confusing "most popular" with most marketed. Just because Melissa doesn't do as much promotion, which is something she gets a say in I should add, does not mean people find her less appealing or less remarkable. Melissa is the 2nd most lauded actor on the show right after Andy. She was the most respected actor on set along with Andy, and everybody wanted to work with her.

“One of those actors that just makes you better because she has no pretence.”—Josh Hamilton

"I love working with Melissa McBride. She's a remarkable actress. You look at her, then you look at the screen and you go – how is this alchemy happening?" —Andrew Lincoln

“One of the strongest actresses I’ve ever worked with…I got lucky because she makes you look so good when you work with her.”—Norman Reedus

She was not kicked out of her own spinoff to adjust to the market. She was kicked out because no one bothered to do any market research at all. If they had, they would've anticipated the insane amount of backlash they got last year. Expecting the majority of fans to welcome a solo Daryl show with open arms says far more about the people calling the shots than it does about Melissa or Carol. It says they're incompetent, biased, and misogynistic. It says they fucked up big time, and if you pay any attention to how they're marketing the spinoff now compared to last year, you might realize there's a huge focus on Melissa and Carol. Granted, they keep fumbling big time and if they don't get themselves organized right fucking now they're going to ruin everything again, but they wouldn't be dangling Carol like a carrot if they didn't think she was going to be an essential part of the show's success. They wouldn't have brought her back at all.

You say she's in S2 to fulfill her old contract, but that's wrong. She signed a new deal that would cover seasons 2-3. I don't know what's in it, I don't trust AMC not to find new and unusual ways to screw over their female talent, but I am 100% sure it was her choice to come back and she had plenty of power to get things she wanted. The excuses "fans" come up with for her being in her rightful place again are ridiculous and very telling.

You say she's less popular, yet you, other Richonne fans, Bethyl fans, and everyone under the sun spend time visiting a Caryl/Carol/Melissa centric blog. Why? If I can manage not to waltz into the Richonne/Michonne tags to try to invalidate their fans' opinions and feelings, why can't those who strongly suggest they aren't fans of Caryl/Carol offer me the same courtesy? Because popularity isn't pure love. It includes those who "love to hate" also.

You are absolutely right that TOWL will get the most buzz compared to Dead City S1 and Le Spinoff S1 and that's because it promises everything Rick/Michonne/Richonne fans have been waiting a really long time for. I have major doubts that Gimple can do right by anyone everyone, but I still hope fans get what they want. The one thing I can't stand about TWD fandom is the insistence on pitting female characters and actresses against each other, which I suspect is the real intention behind this ask. But Carol and Michonne are friends. Melissa and Danai are friends. There is absolutely no reason we all can't support a black woman leading her own show and a woman over 50 leading her own show at the same time.

I agree the best time to make Caryl canon would've been in the flagship show and that Caryl will always be best friends. But that doesn't mean best friends can't also be romantic partners, or that the spinoff can't right the wrongs that were made in S11 for unprofessional reasons, not creative ones.

AMC will not "capture a new audience" with a knock-off version of TLOU or from borrowing American exceptionalism and white male savior tropes from 80's movies. TWDU accounts for too much of AMC's revenue for it to go anywhere right now like you said, so they need to be mindful of their built-in audience. They chose to create different spinoffs for different characters, which means they have to niche down to audiences who are invested in each character's story. Believe it or not, Caryl's fanbase is huge and definitely worth hanging onto, but in order to do that, the show has to meet their needs. Treating Melissa as if she's less than, refusing to make Caryl canon for, again, unprofessional reasons, and shipbaiting relentlessly will just drive them away. So respectfully, I disagree that we're expecting too much (you don't work for the AMPTP, do you?)

I'm sharing this poll as a reminder to never underestimate Caryl's value (I have no interest in starting a ship war).

[davekat-sucks]

Man.

As someone who didn't like Rosemary because there wasn't a lot going on and they were too stable...

This feels like being tossed into the deep end of a pool of jello while you were asleep.

I don't hate that there is something for them to come into conflict about but, what. what the fuck, what just happened, why did that happen?

The beginning part was that some members of WhatPumpkin had actually hated Rosemary. They like Rose and Kanaya as lesbians, but not together as a couple and were displeased by how the webcomic had them get married. Which is why they had joined things like Epilogues and Homestuck^2, gotten close with Andrew Hussie, to basically have their way to sink that canon ship. If someone's fetish was able to get into the series, then biases of what they like and dislike about canon can be implemented too because they work under Hussie and are part of WP. And considering we have someone who has an NTR fetish in James Roach's crew, they might as well keep it to make him happy because if they don't, he'll probably never give them the panels they needed for the update. People got mad when someone implemented DaveJade into Pesterquest because everyone hated that ship. David Turnbull, who had written Jade's route and the Pesterquest, had been bullied and apologized for letting it in, despite that just like Hiveswap Friendsim, they had no restrictions of what they can put in. After all, Marvus' route had scat fetish and nobody batted an eye on it before and after the release. TL;DR If you can manage to score with working with WhatPumpkin or Homestuck Independent Creative Union, you'll get the chance to put your bias ideas as canon. Of course, it has to be certain kind that the group agrees with. Stuff like DaveJade or addressing the bad writing is a no-no. If it's something like non-binary Eridan gender arc, June Egbert, etc; then that's okay. And you'll be excused not only because you work for the project, but just like how Hussie makes and says things about Homestuck/Hiveswap as a means to say FUCK YOU to the fans, that'll be your reason why no one can criticize you. Because you were "trolling".

[soyouareandrewdobson]

Level 1: Let's-a-go easy with some illuminated Mario!

What I want to explore at least partly over the course of Nintendo-vember is the fact, that Dobson was biased with a capital b when it came to videogames and Nintendo. To be more specific, Dobson not only hated people who played anything but Nintendo, acting like PS3 users are the scum of the earth (which we can see examples of a lot near the end of the month), but he was also very opinionated what counts as “the true and honest” depictions of his favorite Nintendo characters.

Again, something more explored down the line soon, but to give at least one example for how even the slightest “deviation” from Dobson’s own interpretation can result in him getting pissed, only for things to backfire on him in some sense (partly a cosmic one) let me turn back time a bit to the November of 2017.

Almost 6 years ago, it was announced that Illumination, the studio behind the Despicable Me movies and some really shitty Dr. Seuss based works, would head the animation work on Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros movie. And people were pissed.

Many of them believing that the studio would ruin their favorite videogame character and produce something that was of great disservice to him. And that was something people claimed, before even the voice cast was announced and everyone had a mental breakdown over Chris Pratt voicing Mario.

For your sanity though, don't click on the vidoe of that fat slob from Boston who is more of a disservice to animation than Live Action Disney is currently

Now to be fair, I am myself aware of the quality of Illumination up until the Mario movie came out. The Despicable Me and Minions movies, plus Secret Life of Pets, having been the most successful endeavors of the company, while also creating some rather annoying, though in my opinion funny cartoon slapstick characters. But honestly, I never thought that Illumination doing the Mario movie, could possibly be the worst thing to ever happen. At the very least, even if the company had fucked up royally with Dr. Seuss related content, they actually have some understanding of cartoon slapstick in their work and can in my opinion create some very colorful movies. And let us be real here, Super Mario has never been the most “adult” or deep franchise on the planet. So as long as Nintendo would keep them on the leash (which they did in the end) I doubted the movie would be utter shit. I at least did not expect it to be the Teen Titans Go of Nintendo, dumb like Boss Baby or unfocused and insulting like Wonder Park.

And lo and behold, the movie came out and minor things aside (like using Take on me as a pop song in the background at one moment) it captured the essence of Mario, was very colorful and a smash hit. To the point it was up until Barbie came along still the most successful movie of 2023 and is the third highest crossing animated movie of all time. With the place actually being the second, if the Lion King remake from 2019 wouldn’t be technically considered animated. Heck, you could actually call it the most succesful animated movie of all time currently, if you also decide to look at the list in such a way, that "sequels"/continuations ofalready established IPs don't count.

What I am trying to say is, in hindsight, many people should have just simply tried to be calm and see where things were heading.Give Illumination the benefit of the doubt. Particularly if they decided to first think about what was likely going to happen and analyze the pro and cons of Illumination doing the movie.

But fuck using your brain when your name is Andrew Dobson.

Dobson took genuine offense to the idea of Illumination doing the movie and as such made a “mock art” of what Mario would likely look in their art style.

There was just a tinsy winsy problem with it. The artwork in itself….

Turned out to be better looking, than most things Dobson did at the time.

No, seriously. Considering the lack of a decent art output at the time aside of shitting on nerds via SYAC strips, this, for what is obviously meant to take the piss out on Illumination’s art style reserved for the Minions, actually looks rather decent. Sure, Mario looks like a tic tac, but for a “quick” sketch, it looks nice. Mario looks -unlike Dobbear in 95% of the strips- actually happy by the way he smiles as well as very cartoonish. And considering that the blood and soul of Mario is kinda in the cartoonish nature of the game series -as evident by how ridiculously Mario Wonder is currently- Dobson in my opinion captured here the soul of Mario better than he did in other pics he did way back in the earlier 2000s.

Though to be fair, these pics look decent enough and at least Dobson was experimenting with different styles back then. Perhaps his cartoonish style would have worked best with Nintendo, if he refined it just right.

Which you know, kinda defeats the “purpose” of the picture if you ask me. I mean, it is obvious Dobson just did it to vent and piss on the fact that a company he considered “inferior” to other animation studios, would bring his favorite videogame character on the big screen for the first time since that Bob Hoskins movie. But if he wanted to mock the idea, he failed. Simply because in his sketch he doesn’t really “highlight” why Illumination being behind Mario would be bad. Not helped by the fact Dobson lacked giving more context why in his opinion that was a bad idea. And the few posts he did, painted him just as hating Charles Martinet and believing Charles would be the main voice of the characters in the movie

An as stated earlier, in hindsight, any “criticism” or fear Dobson might have had, proved in my opinion invalid in the end. The movie was not only a success, but it also paid tribute to his “precious” Mario is from Brooklyn background.

Frankly, the only thing I can see in the pic I would criticize is that Dobson a) gave Mario four fingers despite the fact he should know by now he has five (though that may be a cartoony jab at the Minions. Though even that jab is half assed, cause if he wanted to emulate their design, he should have given Mario three instead of four digits) and b) Mario being likely completely bald under that cap. The later just doesn’t fit entirely. Which, considering the Minions are mostly bald, may have been the intention by Dobson, to create an uncanny effect. Unfortunately, the rest of the artwork balances it out mostly, so on average the sketch ends up being visually more pleasing than anything.

Honestly though, the picture’s existence does highlight one thing more than anything: That Dobson would rather create something out of spite and hatred, rather than a genuine sense of enjoyment. That and if Ilumination being announced as a company to animate the movie, I wonder how he reacted in light of the casting or other Mario related news. Like can you imagine how livid he must have been when Mario+Rabbids by Ubisoft was announced and became popular?

[innerslumber]

I went to the Marvel: Universe of Super Heroes exhibit and wanted to share for anyone who has not seen it. I am under the impression that the installation changes from location to location so I wanted to show this snapshot in time. I fully admit to being biased in what I will post so if you want to see a particular character, please let me know! Apologies ahead of time for my crappy photo taking skills.

🔴⚫️🔴⚫️🔴

Wade Wilson (Deadpool)

Okay, see that picture above? Yeah. That's it. I looked through the whole exhibit and only saw that ONE wall display of Deadpool. Is it possible that I could have missed something? Yes. But do I think I did? Not really.

Which makes me basically think, what the hell man?!?! Where's Deadpool?! If you got space on the wall for freaking Morbius then where is my Merc with a Mouth??? Also his reading material of choice? 👇👇👇

Did @vancityreynolds commission this particular art installation? Because this is exactly the kind of shit he would pull to troll Chris Evans.

The ONLY saving grace from my disappointment was that as I was approaching the wall art of Deadpool, the sweetest and most adorable child voice says: "Look! It's Deadpool!" with happiness and glee. Then his (who I assume is his mother), said: "Oh. My. GOD." with the disgust and disdain reserved for a forgotten box of takeout that got shoved so far to the back of the fridge that it became its own ecosystem and is now declaring independence.

The sheer willpower I had to apply not to burst out laughing was monumental. Knowing that Deadpool is out there corrupting our youth to the horror of their probably sensible parents brought me so much joy. It was just enough to overcome my sadness that this exhibit had no section for Deadpool.

But you know what wasn't going to let me down? That's right, The Gift Shop. Because Deadpool ain't gonna be showcased in the legitimate exhibit space but oh no, capitalism don't care about optics! There's shirts! There's magnets! There's hats! THERE'S COOKBOOKS!

And of course it was going to be a chimichanga recipe! Did we ever have a doubt? I will say this looked better than Captain America's Beef Tongue Terrine recipe that was also in the book. (Sorry Steve...)

Oh and speaking of more Deadpool and Captain America synergy, remember I mentioned hats? Yeah. Just a whole ass display of beanies that only came in two designs. Like...this was a CHOICE, okay? It can't be a fucking coincidence that they only had these two options.

Honestly by the time I was done my 5th lap of the gift shop, I wondered if this is how Cameo Chris Evans felt watching Free Guy and seeing Ryan Reynolds just do whatever the fuck he wants with the shield.

I mean, I know I sound like a whiny punk ass but not even a single comic cover of Deadpool? 😭😭😭 Omg the fangirl tears I would have wept at seeing a Spider-Man/Deadpool cover! Did Ryan and Andrew kissing at the Golden Globes mean nothing to you, Marvel?!?!

Fuck No! I love that museum, okay? They do awesome work. This was obviously an oversight done by the person I blame any time Marvel shits its pants: Kevin Feige. Maybe also the Russo brothers.

Uhh...well I got these.

Look how adorable little Cap is!! 😍😍😍

Shut up, Ted Lasso! It was worth it! I already have a bunch of stuff with your mug on it so I wasn't going to buy more! Now this is me, walking away into the sunset with my precious cargo. Sayonara motherfucker!

(And sending vibes to the next location for the Marvel exhibit to show some damn Deadpool. Don't let me down!)

[urmomw4ntsme]

why is andrew the best peter but tom the most interesting peter 🤔

im slwepy as fuck rn but i was waiting to answere. this till i was free from the disgusting inhumane clutches of egg and jams ok so see we i may be biased byt look at tjis guy.

yea this is rea footage of me being a simp i dont care he's cutie patootoe baby waby shona janu also like decades older tham me 😀 but anyway now that thats out of the way. we ALL love peter 3. thats a colective thing eveyome agrees on if u don't um ya boring bye

but he issss the best lke?? the way he plays peter the way he literally becomes him im not saying tobey or tom r bad im js saying andrew isbbetter. like . i havent watched tobeys movies so i cant sau that abotu him actually but i hve watched homecoming ffh and nwh amd i promise that andrews peteer is the best the funniest the prettiest peter because in toms peter we get to see a lot df action right?nd we get ro see him interacting with other superheroes and hes got ppl who r superpowered like him who have his back but peter 3 has no one hes alone !!!! he js has his aunt and his gf (she died) <3 but still we see hes so funny like that knife scene? wjen hes like omg noooo knives my only weaknes s :( and stuff he IS SO FUNNY !!!! NO KNE TALKS ABOUT IT. HIS HUMOR IS THE KINDA PATHETIC THAT WILLL MAKE U LAUGH SM CUS ITS PATHETIC and . peter 1 has 3 movies lots of screentime and as i said lots of interaction with other superheroes lots of plot lots of stuff happening to him lots of trauma lots of character development. but still for me at leastz petee 3 js. overshadows him? cus hes got js 2 fucking movies but hes so perfectly funny and traumatised and happy and sad and angry in that limited amount of thing without it feeling extra or obnoxious and like how do u not see jes the best????? like theres a guy who has an assignment of 20 pages and 7 days to do it and thwres another guy with the same assignment with only 2 days to do it but the seconf guys assignment turns out to be better and ppl r shocked when i cal him the best?? im not saying tom isn't thafs why i said hes the most interestign cus as i said He has sm sm sm sm sm character development i love it so mucj like we get to see him with this girl whos lowk weird and he has. crush on another girl but girls fsther tries to kill him send s him to jail and then he starts falling for first girl and he alao haa bsf who is guy . chair and hes in love witb the girl bit its awkward cus suddenly they apparently died for 5 yrs and came back to life then his real dad died and he goes to trip to be happy but thees jealousy jeaosy and random guy with fishbowl helmet and super storong element villains and nick furu is not rea ans hes scared and his love finds out hes spidey and they save the world tgt aND THEY KISS !!!!!!!! also he becomes thor/captain in middle but then later fickingg bald ass jj tells everyone who he is and now hes gotta do smth about it and eveyone almost dies and then there's ppl form diff unieerse and theres Him from diff univers????? and aunty may dies :( and hes sad and angry bit his bros got his back and MJ ALMOST DIES WHAT THEFUCK WAS THAT MARVEL WHY WUD U DO THAT TO MG POOR BABY PETEE 3 and amyway hes murderous but doesnt kill and them self sacrifice and love ob hisblife and bsf forget who he is !!! do u see how much is happening this is all so interesting its sooooo aweome i love him thats why i said whag i said i must stop now thsnk u meow bueyeey

[taramaclaywasaterf]

What are your thoughts on the song The Other Man

Someone giving me an excuse to talk about Sloan??? Oh my fucking god anon, I’m in love with you, please marry me. Congratulations this is what has officially gotten me to post for the first time in like a year🫡😭

The other man is the Dumbfuck Lesbian Anthem fr fr… ok not really lmao but it was MY anthem during my late teens/early 20s when I was a raging dumbfuck asshole chasing women I definitely shouldn’t have been with. 

“You know he's not the one for you but that's no fault of mine. He knows that I'm a friend of yours but doesn't know I've crossed the line. I know you've got a man in the picture but it hasn't stopped me yet…”

I mean… come on lol. You can’t tell me a lesbian cover of this song wouldn’t be an absolute fucking banger.

For a, like, feminist analysis of the song…look, I’ll fully admit to being a giant hypocrite and super biased because I love Sloan and have hung out with all the guys before/after shows for the past 10 or so years I’ve been seeing them live. I’ve been listening to them since I was like 11. I fucking love this stupid band. I have a lot of good memories associated with them. One of my best friends who passed away loved the band too, so they’re just really special to me. 

That said, is the song misogynist? Yeah, women aren’t, like, objects for men to fight over. Men acting like they’re the victims of their own actions are gross. It’s about the time in 2002 when Chris was dating the singer Leslie Feist at the same time she was dating another guy named Andrew from a different band and how pretty much everyone except Andrew knew about it.

It also talks about how Leslie didn’t know there were rumors (“He's going to find out that the rumours are true, though they are still unbeknownst to you. He'll find out, so I'll tell you because, you gotta find out before he does.”) which is something he seems…proud of? Idk, I’ve never liked that part of the song. Well, the part of the song is fun to sing lol, but I never liked those lyrics because it just feels like a man flexing his power over a woman, getting off on her not knowing everyone knows her secret. It’s gross.

Chris has never been creepy or weird or misogynistic to me or anyone I know in the years I’ve known him, and he’s had multiple opportunities to take advantage of my friends and I, especially at the shows I go to alone. BUT, if anything comes out about him, I’ll believe the victim. I don’t care how well I know a man, I’ll always believe a woman first and foremost and I never allow myself to like/trust a man enough to believe he’s above being a piece of shit. 

If you have more Sloan questions let me know lol I will yap about this band all fucking day if you let me

[mermaidsirennikita]

omg idk how far along u are in the crown so pls feel free to answer this later but the press was droning ONNNNN about how both charles and diana r portrayed as equally to blame and i dont think that’s particularly true? 😭 yes i believe diana was given a much more complex character than shes usually afforded in biopic adjacent media (i actually gasped when they let her be as charismatic as we’re often told she was irl) but that doesnt mean it was a negative portrayal? even in her more “selfish” moments, and this might just be me being biased lol, but i was fully on her side. its almost like people dont think diana can be sympathetic if she actually fights back against the the system and the people that have trapped her 😭 this all being said i think charles’ portrayal was tooo positive…. but i dont expect less from PM

Lol the press is ridiculous.

The thing is that there absolutely are people who want to put Diana up on a pedestal as this poor little girl lost who had the best of intentions but was fragile and craaaazy and only acted out because other people (not the Windsors) manipulated her poor, silly self. That is what the Windsors are putting out there. That is what the press is playing into. Fuck, that's what William put out there. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that Martin Bashir acted entirely ethically; but frankly, if it hadn't been him, Diana would've eventually said that shit to someone else (and she PRETTY MUCH DID to Andrew Morton, lmao). She was spitting mad.

And the thing is? She had a right to be. Diana was seduced into a horrible marriage with a man 12 years her senior as a literal teenager. She had two kids with the man, was continuously gaslit by him, his mistress, his entirely family, most of their social circle... She wasn't perfect, and she had mental health issues that would've likely existed without Charles, but lmao. The woman was emotionally abused by those people for like... her entire marriage. Which covered most of her adulthood. She had a right to be angry.

If you think that her reacting and acting badly in turn is like... less sympathetic, you just have a very black and white view of the world. Someone can be very kind to those in need and have a mean streak towards people they clash with. Someone can be serious about charity work and enjoy the attention. All of these things can be true, and these things all existing in one person doesn't mean they're suddenly shitty lmao. You have to evaluate people (and their behaviors) as individuals.

Idk, to me Diana being selfish at points makes me more sympathetic to her than I would be if she were just a long-suffering angel. She was a fucking human being. She was very loving to her children (and most children), she was incredibly charismatic, she genuinely cared about serious issues and did what she could to bring attention to them... She also had a partygirl streak (lmao the company she kept--Elton John, George Michael, Gianni Versace, COME ON SHEEPLE), could be self-absorbed and catty, and was very needy. She was super genuinely hurt by these people, and knew how to play her audience like a fiddle. All of this... can be true. I think she was, at heart, a good but complicated person. And I appreciate that. That's why I am so fascinated by her--she's this goddess figure in the press, but when you research her she's deeply relatable. I loved that they brought shit up like her calling her stepmother Acid Raine. Anyone who's had a shitty stepmom can relate to that.

[caffeineandsociety]

The leftish internet has a serious Tautological Templar problem.

Everyone thinks they're a huge progressive queer rights activist...while simultaneously thinking that wearing a harness or collar to Pride is tantamount to sexual assault and queer sexuality is somehow inherently fetishistic.

I've seen at least a few dozen people use the StopAsianHate hashtag only to imply or even outright STATE that anime is all by and for child molesters and east Asian cultures just love diddling kids within 10 posts.

Hell, ra/dfe/m rhetoric at its deepest tends to align more with the views of Ben Shapiro and Andrew Tate than with most feminists about the nature of sex and gender, and yet the people who follow it identify as feminists because...accepting that being born with a vagina means you are weak and pathetic and useless and will never live up to a man at anything from physical prowess to quiz shows to beauty pageants no matter what you do is, uh, the first step to liberation and safety? Wow, I feel SO empowered right now, well done. </sarcasm>

At some point you have GOT to develop a little bit of fucking self-awareness.

That's it. That's all there is to it.

You cannot go through life using an identity label as a substitute for a cohesive worldview, at least, not without hurting yourself and others with your bullshit.

Unpack your unexamined biases. Do the fucking work. Don't just sit there and declare that because you are a certain thing, you are immune from internalizing some truly HEINOUS popular ideas.

[heartfelttry]

i was texting a friend while doing my "needlessly anxious re-watch of all of thepandaredd compilations to make sure i didnt miss an OC or any important info before i post" (i did, i missed Arnold and also a maybe-hand-symbol of the Agents of the Reboot), and since she has also seen several bits of thepandaredd's stuff, she was sweet enough to ask me questions about my notes. like "oh, cool, what did you learn?" and "what would you like to ask since making this?" and then encouraged me to post my answers in tandem with the post in case?? any of it could be answered? (no entitlement here tho, i swear) im trying to apply more of Randy Pausch's "The Last Lecture"'s bit about how, generally, the worse that will happen when you put yourself out there is a "no" and return to status quo instead of just being Very Anxious About Everything All The Time lmao

as usual, i apologize for not editing this. id rather be prompt than polished when it comes to casual stuff like this. (which like. yes, even my casual texts are long. i over-explain, i info-dump, i am not a succinct person lmao)

● "what did you learn?"

well the most shocking part i learned from keeping these notes is the realization that thepandaredd either COMPLETELY accidentally (in which case, wow, is that fucking LUCKY) or METICULOUSLY planned (which, wow, that is fucking DETAILED) made up a set of pre-reboot "Ted"s and "Alex"s that could be cassualities from Bill The Henchman's reboot, along with a set of post-reboot "Ted"s and "Alex"s to replace the previous set. because the Ted and Alex pre-reboot set are two goons that Bill circumstantially could have known (and is vaguely feasible for them to have known each other assuming thepandaredd wanted that?). this pre-reboot Ted died in a Bill The Henchman skit, where Ted got thrown off the Wayne Towers (roughly 73 stories high) by Man-Bat. this pre-reboot Alex was in the Todd The Goonion Rep skit (where Bill The Henchman was also in, though Alex and Bill did not interact/share a scene) where Alex was a Bane henchman who was a victim of wage-theft and not-up-to-code company housing via pit/sewers. and then the reboot happened. and thepandaredd just released a tiktok series about some influencer named Ted whose life is crumbling — and who, regardless on if this is a reboot-alternate-life Ted or reboot-to-prequel-into-repeating-the-same-death Ted: the henchman LinkedIn joke is especially funny and oddly so much darker— who has a co-worker friend at Ted's assumed day-job named Alex who lives in a duplex split between Penguin and Two-Face territory. how fucking wild. if they are the same set but now rebooted, i wonder if Bill will recognize them

other things ive learned: in addition to the arguably-two-or-one Ted/s, thepandaredd has three seemingly seperate OCs all with the forename Todd, and only one of them has a last name (Todd Andrews, of Superb Prowers). i also learned a speaking pattern differntations between Dr. Morton (calls patients exclusively by their villain-names) and Dr. Aaron Michaels (calls patients exclusively by their civillian-names) that i find endlessly fascinating. i also realized Bill's skeleton-growing necklace thing he got from a fan might be gone bc of the reboot (or maybe its still there, idk). and, lastly, i wrote down notes of each named OC's (a few unnamed, but not many) wardrobe and most of them are "wears all black" and, y'know, as someone with a brother as well as a best friend who wear exclusively black, that was endearingly funny to keep typing again and again, it makes sense for Gothamites lmao all cool stuff to figure out

● "do you have anything you'd want to ask?"

short answer: yeah, there's a FEW things

now, the more me (fucking long) answer:

first, if i could ask any question (other than a question about if Bill's necklace is still the skeleton-growing thing or not because we haven't seen it since the reboot), it'd actually not be a clarification question. it'd actually be entirely biased around my special interest in "conceptual processes in media (aka: pre-production, and i still remain steadfast in insisting the 'writing ideas down on a shitty napkin' phase is probably my favorite part btw)", especially anything art related (where its most obvious manifestation is a hoard of concept-art books i showed you, bc, again, i just like people showing their work): and i just wanna know how the Goonion came to be. like. sure, feel free to answer in the sense of in-story lore how it got established as a bonus, i'd love that, of course. but my actual interest is based on "hey, thepandaredd how the fuck did you come up with the idea" (which i assume they have already answered that in a panel or twitch stream but **i** havent heard the answer yet). because i would have assumed there'd be a tiktok or something about "hey what if" that **then** became an exploratory skit (bc he's done that several times, which, fair), but nah. there is just Bill The Henchman's first appearance (where he was the first henchman ever beat up by a Robin), then MANY tiktoks later is a brief tiktok talking about Marvel Comics' Taskmaster Academy, and then MANY MORE tiktoks later is Bill's second ever appearance (its the "How the Bat Boys deal with henchmen" if youre curious) where Bill is properly called "a professional goon" AND name-drops "the Goonion" for the first time and a surprsing very few tiktoks later the Goonion shirt dropped, followed THEN by like a couple more tiktoks after is Todd The Goonion Rep's first tiktok drops and so on, which i know from legit going back and scrolling through thepandaredd tiktok to see if i had just missed the tiktok + if it just wasn't added to the youtube Compilations, and i couldn't find it. and like… i like knowing concept stuff, i wanna know how the Goonion came to be

(if i could be permitted a second question, id just want to know if thepandaredd has read ask-spiderpool?? as dorky as that is? which like. i know you said is too long for YOU to wanna read, BUT STILL. maybe he's read it. idk if they have a secret tumblr (also it is in a few other places now, i think. like i know its getting cross-posted to webtoons now but i think that one is still very fucking new). maybe. you never know. it is a v popular ask-blog fan-comic about Spider-man and Deadpool. esp bc of it really takes advantage of the ask-blog side of itself (it is v fitting of deadpool's psyche, you cannot refute that) to the point it feels like a critique on the nature of the ask-blog format? plus, that shit has been p consistently running since (i just checked) 2014?? so just about ten years??? fucking WILD. and, fam, i swear, it gets really fucking good, youve read One Piece, you can do ask-spiderpool, i so highly recommend it. like, it is the slowest slow-burn romance of all time, the creator knew these two have a LOT to work through and, even now that they are finally a couple, have still a SHIT bunch to work through. it is a really excellent character-exploration, i swear youd love it if med-school gave you the fucking time in the day. and its fucking wild to me how it gets a quite a bit of ask-spiderpool-specific fan-art and fanfic. but like. it gets it for a reason. like. again, not just "it reblogs spiderpool fan-art" NAH it gets "ask-spiderpool fan-art"??? wHAT!!! i love it, but id also enjoy hearing if thepandaredd loves/hates it or if he is just "meh" about it, assuming they have read any of it. idk

(a third would be wanting to know their Jason Todd playlist, thepandaredd said there would be East Coast rap, and i would love to explore the playlist. but thats just bc i like listening to people's Jason Todd playlists a lot. but i assume the playlist is private for a reason? or maybe i just havent seen the link for it. idk)

but yeah the skele-grow one is bothering me the most, but i also know that one will be indirectly answered SOMETIME. bc the necklace does get untucked SOMETIMES so itll likely be untucked again and i can confirm if post-reboot Bill still has it or not, so id probably ask one of the other ones if i was like at a panel q&a, it depends

[ my friend who shall remain anonymous: "lol you wouldn't ask them to stop naming OCs Todd and Ted?" ]

i think it might be a bit at this point, i find it hard to believe he doesn't know he's doing this. my whining comes from how ive run out of "what todd can be short for" forenames tho so any other Todds will just have the hc name of Todd to me, i guess lol

plus, Jason is also my favorite. so. like. i get it. its a subtle nod of a tribute, fair enough. its their OCs, im just writing notes when im not too sick to pay attention lol they can do whatever. i did put in "please, consider stopping, theres three assumedly different Todds" in my notes post, but im not serious about it, i think i even wrote that "its your stuff, do whatever, im mostly complaining as a gag" in case they do read the post? (i do plan on sending it, so maybe) but it does get confusing to ensure im putting the info in the right place as someone who is dyslexic lol but its his stuff, its whatever for me, i just like his content, if his content has more Todds/Teds thats fine lmao

/end of copied texts

but yeah! if you were curious, that is my headspace around what i had fun learning and what questions i still have! i have no entitlement towards any of it being answered or replied to. this was mostly for fun because i do like learning this kind of stuff and me publishing this stuff is me getting out of my comfort-zone in a way where i can handle the discomfort lol

plus, ive been really sick and this has been a nice way to feel that "i am making progress in a project" sense of accomplishment. both towards the notes being up-to-date and towards the DC fanfic i eventually wanna write but feel too sick to do chronologically yet. maybe after classes are off my plate and i got my degree/s. but yeah. its been a very nice comfort to make this, so i am v happy with myself (and thepandaredd by extension) even without any answered questions ♡