#not avpd

[avpdpossum]

ah, the neverending cycle of disappointment of finding a person who makes good autistic content only to find out that one of their most popular posts talks about how evil narcissists are, my beloathed

[arovoidant]

things in my childhood that honestly should have tipped people off that i was autistic, but it was the 90s/00s and i was afab, so, (nonexhaustive list)

hyperlexia (i learned to read at 4 with no formal instruction)

obvious special interests in owls, neopets, the lion king… (but because i got identified as ‘gifted,’ these got explained as just topics of expertise)

“odd intonation”/“has an accent” according to one neighbor who told my mom i should be in speech therapy (25 years later… i am the speech therapist…)

extreme sensory sensitivities, especially smells & sounds

difficulties socially

that period of time where i almost only ate blueberries…

difficulties with hygiene (there was a period where i Did Not brush my teeth [thank god i have good enamel], had difficulties with toileting unrelated to IBS up until middle school)

difficulties with certain motor skills (can’t ride a bike, can’t catch things coming straight at me without clutching them to my chest [which i think about every time i see a specific assessment ask about ball catching skills], use too much pressure when writing with pencils, can’t typically focus on speech or other people and sitting up straight at the same time,)

can’t fuckin operate snaps

[probablyavpd]

Not many people talk about how deep emotional neglect hurts you.

I’m afraid to want things. I’m afraid to ask for help. I’m afraid to tell someone something if they seem in a bad mood. I can’t process when someone is nice to me. I can’t handle rejection, but my brain literally short circuits if someone gives me a compliment to the point where sometimes the rejection is better.

There are lots of overlap with emotional abuse, but emotional neglect hurts just as much. And it’s even worse that it usually goes undetected, so a lot of people can’t tell they’re being neglected until it’s too late.

[bunnighost]

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

as someone who has experienced abuse from someone with a personality disorder, it's actually incredibly easy to not dehumanize everyone with a personality disorder. i've seen people do borderline eugenic rhetoric surrounding people who have npd, aspd, bpd or other personality disorders, and then be like "I'M allowed to say these things because i'm a survivor, and if you disagree you are hurting abuse victims."

and frankly? i'm tired of it. as an abuse survivor i'm here to say that you're NOT allowed to turn into a fucking eugenicist the moment you're hurt by someone with a personality disorder.

does hurting and belittling other people who happen to have the same disorder as your abuser, people that are already suffering and that are already looked down on by society, bring you any healing? does it bring you peace?

Being hurt by someone isn't an excuse to hurt others that you feel justified in lashing out on. you're literally in control of your own actions,

you may claim to be making a safe space for abuse survivors, but i will never feel any solidarity with you, and i ESPECIALLY don't feel safe with you considering i might have a personality disorder.

you are excluding a large amount of abuse survivors in the name of "advocacy". a lot of people with personality disorders developed one or multiple due to heavy abuse. in the aim of creating a safe space, you are excluding the ones who need a safe space the most.

[bloodstainsonthefloor]

neurodivergent people are not immune to being ableist

you as a neurodivergent person are not immune to being ableist

[astrangerthatlovesyou]

“It’s okay to not be okay”

Unless it impacts your work performance…

Or your grades

Or how you act

Or if it causes you to say no

Or if you’re harder to be around

Or if you need time alone

Or if you talk about it

Or show symptoms

“It’s okay to not be okay”

Unless you have trauma

Unless you have one of those “scary” mental illnesses

Unless it inconveniences me

Unless you’re undiagnosed

Unless you cry or scream or make a scene

Unless you don’t keep that shit to yourself

Unless you make me uncomfortable

Unless I can’t infantilize or fetishize you

Unless you have hallucinations

Unless you have psychosis

Unless you get angry

Unless I think you’re cringe

Unless you can’t preform hygiene tasks

Unless you’re disabled, or trans, or gay, or not white, or fat, or AFAB, or intersex, or a man… so I guess anyone

“It’s okay to not be okay”

As long as nobody ever finds out.

Our society has a severe issue with performative activism, and mental health is a huge example of this. Every time someone considers reaching out, they run through this list mentally. This is why true activists and resources need to be loudly supportive of all the things on this list. Take the subtext out of your support.

[familiarplacedisc]

[kujokomi]

please stop associating the term neurodivergent with JUST autism and adhd. like please. there are so many ways to be neurodivergent and it’s not fair to assume that it’s just about autism adhd.

[dailydivergent]

Neurodivergent reminder: Overstimulation feels a lot like anxiety, and understimulation feels a lot like depression.

More importantly, you don't need to know which it is to practice self-care.

Self-caring anxiety and overstimulation looks the same:

Recognize you're feeling big feelings

Take as many deep breaths as your need to slow your mind

Identify what’s causing the feeling, whether sensory, environmental, or situational

Minimize that cause as much as possible immediately

Self-caring depression and understimulation looks the same:

Recognize you’re in need of stimulation

Turn on an interesting long-form video of some kind

Do some quick exercise like a walk or jumping jacks

Call a friend that'll let you infodump

If you're neurodivergent and easily get stuck on labelling things — I see you.

I'm here to remind you that you don't need to know what it is to take care of it in the meantime.

You can — will — figure it out later.

[avpdpossum]

“your self-diagnosis will never be as good as a professional diagnosis” yeah, my self-dx isn’t “as good” as a pro-dx would be, it’s better!

most psychs have spent maybe a few days maximum learning about the absolute basics of my diagnoses, while i’ve spent years taking in every bit of information i can find, including lots of information from the same sources they’d be using and more — chances are i know more about my diagnoses than the average psych ever will

psychs who do have more knowledge got that knowledge from deeply stigmatizing sources, and most have never bothered to learn from the people who actually live the experiences they claim to be experts in (ex. “npd experts” who actually just specialize in “evil abuser disease” or people like martin kantor)

a psych will never be able to know what’s going on in my head the way i can because they can’t read my mind, so even if i was able to articulate my internal experiences really well (which i’m not — i’m a semiverbal avoidant with often disorganized thoughts/speech; explaining something like that is hard if not impossible for me), hearing it secondhand can’t compare to the 20 years i’ve spent living it

the vast majority of psychs operate based on sanism and profit motive — they’re more than willing to take obscene amounts of my money, only to deny me a diagnosis based on not meeting some shitty stereotypes or say there’s no point in giving me a diagnosis if i don’t want a cure or give me the diagnosis and then have me put in a psych ward because my diagnoses make me one of those ~scary mentally ill people~ that none of them want to deal with

a misdiagnosis from a psych could potentially lead to me being put through intensive therapies or put on medication for the wrong thing, which can have very bad results, and the label might stay on my medical record even after being proven wrong; if my personal assessment is wrong, nothing happens — no one gets hurt, i just go “oops, nevermind”, keep whatever useful things i learned from it in my “toolbox”, stop using the label itself, and move on with life

coming to my own understanding of how my brain works and using the labels that actually make sense to me means i actually get to have some autonomy for once — i get a community of people who understand my experiences and a better understanding of how to manage my symptoms and accommodate myself, without having to fear things like forced treatment or intensified discrimination

the idea that my neurotype makes me incapable of self-awareness and introspection is ridiculous — some people might feel that way about their own situations and need to rely on outside assessment as a result, but that experience is not universal

my understanding of my own mind is NOT second-rate compared to a psych’s, and i don’t need to put myself at risk just for a stranger to tell me what i already know

[arovoidant]

fucking miserable rn and for once it’s not because of the avpd

[bunnighost]

[motormouthedfool]

bitches be like "do i have a personality disorder or am i just looking for attention or am i just trying to find excuses for behaving the way i do"

im bitches

[cluster-c-chaos]

also this is the last thing for now, but when I was first figuring this stuff out (pre-diagnosis), I googled "is it possible to have more than one personality disorder?" and found the answer to be "yes, but steer clear of someone who does!"

so I just wanted to say... if you have more than one personality disorder, you are still worthy of good things. you can still live a good life. you can still have strong connections to other people, and you can still learn to love yourself. having a personality disorder doesn't make you a bad person, and neither does having several personality disorders

[jupiter-nwn]

The neurodivergent feeling of being like "help I'm being mildly and fairly criticized over a small flaw by someone that clearly cares about me and is trying not to be mean. I think I'm gonna explode and lock myself in my room never to see the light of day again, human interaction will be my demise"