#not just in that regard but for this post as a whole!

[sreegs]

gonna start this post upfront by saying tumblr's fuckin up bad with moderation right now, regarding the wave of trans people being targeted. but i'm not here to discuss that issue, i'm going to talk about the nature of large and small social spaces on the internet

as this post rightly points out, examining our existing social network structure reveals the crux of the problem: we are tenants on someone else's service. extrapolating from that, we're the source of revenue for someone's business. under that model, there is no incentive whatsoever for a social network to apply a "fair" or "just" moderation scheme. their goal is to maximize the number of people using the service and minimize blowback from advertisers regarding "what goes on" on the site

there will not be an alternative social network that gets this right at scale, unless it meets the following criteria:

1. Has ample moderators to thoughtfully deal with user moderation cases

2. Has terms of service that you agree with

3. Has a moderation team that understands how to apply moderation according to the terms of service, and amends it when necessary

4. Does not rely on external income source to pay for the site

Number 1: An ideal social network is one that has numerous, well-treated moderators who are adept at resolving conflict. Under capitalism, this is a non-starter, as moderation is seen as a money sink that just needs to be barely enough to make the site usable.

Number 2: An ideal social network has terms of service you agree with. Unfortunately there's no set of rules everyone will find fair. While this is not a problem for the people who want to use the site, it will inevitably create an outgroup who are pushed away from the site. The obvious bad actors (nazis, terfs, etc) are pretty straightforward, but there are groups that do things you might find "unpleasant" even if you support their right to do it. Inevitably this turns into lines drawn in the sand about how visible should that content be.

Number 3: An ideal social network has moderators who have internalized the terms of service and consistently make decisions based on the TOS. If a situation comes up where there's no clear ruling in the TOS, but users need a moderation decision regarding it, the moderation team must choose how to act and then, potentially, amend the TOS if the case warrants it. Humans, though, are not robots, and no, AI is not the solution here jesus christ. There will always be variance in moderation decisions. And when it comes to amending the TOS, who's the decision maker? The sites' owners? The moderation team? Users as a whole?

Number 4: An ideal social network does not rely on an external income source to pay for the site. The site pays for itself, and its income flow covers the costs necessary with reserves for unexpected situations. Again, under capitalism this is a no-go, because a corporate social network's only goal is to maximize money. Infinite growth, not stasis. A private social network paid by members requires enough paying members to be sustainable, and costs will generally go up over time, not down. A social network that has some lump sum of cash just generating wealth is also unreliable because, first you need a large lump sum to begin with, and that mechanism is tied to the whims of the investment market. And, again, costs of the site will go up, not down.

As you've read through these you're probably reaching the conclusion: making a large-scale social network that is fair and sustainable is very, very difficult, if not impossible with our current culture and economic systems. There might be a scale where you can reach "almost fair" and "barely sustainable", but then you have to cap its growth.

So the "town square" social network is rife with problems and we need to abandon it's model as the ideal network. Should we go small instead? We have a model already for that with message boards and forums. Though they weren't without their problems, they didn't have the scale that exacerbated those problems to crisis levels. Most of the time.

If you're thinking maybe you need a small network like this, free from a corporate owner (like Discord), the tools are out there for you to accomplish it. However, before you try, keep the above points in mind. Even if you're not out to create a large-scale social network, an open network will run away from you. And all of those points above are guidelines for a good online community.

You and your network of 50 friends and friends of friends might all get along together, but every single person you add increases the risk of creating moderation problems. People also change, or simply have episodes of irrational behavior. You need a dedicated team of moderators who are acting coherently for and agreeably to the community.

And you absolutely must keep this in mind: inevitably, as you add more people, someone will do vile shit. CSAM and violence type shit. You have to be prepared to encounter it. You have to have a plan to see and handle that, and the moderators who are part of your moderation team must be prepared to see and handle it too.

There's been a steady trickle of new alternative social networks (or social media networks) popping up, but you cannot expect those to be perfect havens. Tumblr was once the haven for weirdos on the internet. Now it's hostile to its core members. This is not trying to rationalize staying here because "hey, it could be worse". This is just trying to warn you to temper your expectations, especially because new networks that suddenly get a huge influx of new members hit a critical point where many falter, change, or fail.

Examine who's running those networks closely. Think critically about what they're touting as the benefits of those networks. And if you decide to join them, do not, under any case, expect those new homes to be permanent.

[avelera]

It makes me sad when I see posts by people who are enjoying the Interview with the Vampire show but say they've decided not to even try to read the books.

To be clear, it's fine to just not want to read the books, there's plenty of reasons the books might not be everyone's bag, and one reason is that people might just want to enjoy the show without spoilers or the source material muddling the experience.

But I just want to clarify a few points that people might be hung up on with regards to reading the books in case they've decided not to on false premises:

Anne Rice was not homophobic or otherwise anti-sex or against queer relationships for her characters - those are lies, lies, and damned lies. Anne Rice was a queer writer before being queer-- much less writing about it--was cool (to say the least). She more or less defined herself as nonbinary before there was terminology for it, her son is gay, and she left the Catholic Church the second time because they wouldn't accept him (even though the Catholic Church had basically become her life at that point after her husband died, which is a long complicated story). She also wrote tons of erotica, specifically bdsm erotica, which was also very queer. She would not be horrified by the queerness of the show.

Anne Rice was anti-fanfic - Yes, she was. Yes, she was one of the most aggressive authors against fanfic (though she softened later). But just to be clear, she had a legal reason for it. I was one of the people most heartbroken in the early '00s by her aggressive take down of fanfic over the years but even then, I always understood why she did it, she reasonably believed she had to be aggressive in order to defend her copyright. You can dislike her for it but she wasn't just hating on fanfic for the sake of it, the early internet was extremely muddy when it came to the legality around fanfic and copyright and as an early adopter of the internet, she was very concerned on that front specifically.

The books are not poorly written/not fun to read - Look, your mileage may obviously vary, and many have found flaws in her writing (IWTV in particular is probably the slowest read of the bunch) but Anne Rice wasn't a NYT Bestseller on basically every single one of her books for no reason. Her style is easy to read, fun, engaging, and often darkly beautiful and deeply empathetic. She basically defined the modern vampire genre and modern supernatural gothic romance for the last 50 years, I mean she dominated the genre. Don't take an out of context excerpt of the opening of The Vampire Lestat sounding like "My Immortal" as an indication of anything. (The whole point of that intro is that Lestat is supposed to sound like a self-obsessed drama queen in the opening pages, that's the conceit of the book and introduces him as a self-centered unreliable narrator, which she then plays with to great effect. It's actually rather deftly handled how she introduced Lestat as a POV character with that introduction. As a writer, I will defend that introduction as actually genius.)

Anne Rice wasn't perfect, to say the least. And the books might not be everyone's cup of tea, she was often dealing with transgressive topics and probably held many ideas or presented many concepts decades ago that would be side-eyed today.

But they're bestsellers for a reason and she's an era-defining author for a reason. The show is doing some interesting stuff with modernizing and deconstructing the books but the rich material they have to do it with comes from the books.

At the very least, I suggest trying out "The Vampire Lestat" and then "Queen of the Damned" which I think are two of her best and will go a long way to informing how audiences view the show and what's coming next.

[cupcakeslushie]

I remember you explaining to an anon about this whole situation regarding S/A in the Kendratello AU you have but there isn’t any??? At least, I haven’t seen any implied S/A so I’m kinda confused. Maybe I’m just stupid, idk.

I don’t think you’re stupid anon 😆. Maybe you just missed these posts?

The SA is very much implied, but never shown outright.

[drdemonprince]

perhaps i'm being very autistic about this, but trying to figure out where i can contribute my time and energy is so hard because there's so many actually important issues. actually important ones. spreading yourself thin isn't helpful, but even if you tune out the roar of people demanding that you care about every last thing, the tug on my heart is still strong. probably another lie capitalism has pounded deep into our minds, that we have to do it *all* even. even knowing that many of these issues are inter-related, and doing the things you *can* is what's important and contribute to unraveling the greater fabric of bad shit. how on earth do you find that spot though? where you don't go mad going in mental circles about what you're *not* doing? idk i can't be alone in this?

I have an instagram post about this with regard to donating to Gazan fundraisers that you can read here.

Here's my take: when we get swept up in not being able to "do it all" or freeze up with complete inability to choose any cause to work toward because we can't decide which one is the most worthy, we are operating out of a highly individualistic framework that positions the self as the agent of change.

It might not feel like it is a self-centered perspective, but it's exactly the kind of isolated, self-as-savior, systems-ignoring outlook that a culture of capitalism and rampant Christian moral Puritanism conditions us to adopt (even if you're not Christian). I have a whole book about this btw.

I have felt overwhelmed with my inability to "help everyone" or address every cause before, and frankly the solution was to get over myself and realize that I have a very limited ability to make a difference and that simply doing my part is my only duty, not doing it "all". I have to trust that I am but one small, relatively insignificant human and that I am surrounded by literally millions of other humans who care and will pick up their small part of the work as well.

it doesn't matter that i select the absolute optimal ideal cause or place into which to put my energy, because frankly i am not important. i just need to show up and pick up some work. there will be plenty of work left for the next person to pick up.

It was absurd main character energy to expect myself to do everything or to be able to "save" people. And yet that was exactly the kind of moral burden I was putting on myself for a very long time. And it led to overcommitment followed by burnout, spreading myself thin, and most crucially failing to make any my efforts part of the work of an enduring, tightly knit COMMUNITY.

A focus on individual effort makes us neurotic, alienated, self-focused, lonely, confused, conflicted, and forever putting our energies into initiatives of limited value with limited potential for payoff. instead, choosing one little lane to do our own bit of work in -- literally ANY lane, so long as it is accessible and motivating to us and plays to our strengths -- will mean that we are actually making a difference consistently and connecting to others who are taking part in the work too.

we must do this work not to morally purify ourselves, which is not possible, but because we see something worth doing and we decide to get up and do it. the arena in which you choose to make a difference can be literally anything from donating to people's gofundmes to sharing other people's fundraisers to feeding your neighbors to blowing up a pipeline. it literally does not matter which particular choice you, specifically, make, only that you do something and keep at it at the pace that is sustainable for you. and trust that literally millions of other people are all around you doing their tiny tiny part too.

[inumakisangel]

Things for you to put in your dr script

a little post showing some things from my dr script to give you ideas for your own hehe :3

all pics (except from the toge one above) are from pinterest. if you own any of them and want creds, lmk!

♡ Security things ♡

1 - (VERY IMPORTANT!!) Everything is exactly how you wanted and imagined

I personally did not have any problems regarding how the reality is because of that. Not saying things will be 100% different from how you thought it would be, but putting that everything is exactly how you imagined will make the experience so much better (and will save you from stress if something is not how you wanted)

2 - (ALSO VERY IMPORTANT!!) Memories of before you shifted to DR come to you naturally

Just so you can know what stuff happened before you shifted

3 - (optional, but important) Any wish granter

Have you ever imagined having something happen in your dr that is totally out of your control and that you can't resolve? Create some way to make what you want to happen, happen regardless of the circumstances. Some ideas are:

2.1: Wish diary

A magical diary where, anything you write in it, no matter how difficult it is to happen, will happen one way or another, and exactly how you wanted, imagined and specified

2.2: Magical sentence

If you say (sentence of your choice) right after or before saying something that you wanted to happen, it will happen no matter what

2.3: Magical signal

If you do (action of your choice, for example, drawing a little heart on your nose with your finger) right after or before saying something that you wanted to happen, it will happen no matter what

2.4: Naturally happens just through your emotions!

If you're going to a reality where it's a bit dangerous, this is especially good, and i reccomend doing the first three together or the last one alone. In my dr, i only scripted the 2.1 and 2.2, and i only use it when it's an emergency since i prefer to see how things go on their own

And it will help you a lot if the writer of the fiction of your dr is a menace who kills every single character without a hint of pity and humanity in blood. gege. WHEN I CATCH YOU, GEGE.

4 - (optional) You will not go through any type of stress, and you only feel the good emotions

I mean... you're going to another whole reality in which you can do every single thing you want. Why are you subjecting youself to go through stressful situations?

5 - (really optional) Days have more/less time

This one is for the girlies like me who want to spend as much time as possible with the people from your dr ‼️

In my DR, days last 34 hours, 19 hours of day and 15 hours of night

6 - Same artists, bands, shows, brands, anime and social media exists there

This is actually one of the best things i scripted because i could scroll on tiktok, reccomend songs to my friends, continue to watch One Piece, buy sanrio things, eat kfc, etc

7 - (optional but really important!!) When you go back to cr, time in dr stops

Also one of the best things i scripted. You just get super giddy and excited to shift back and do whatever you want to do, and you can also plan things way better!

Tiny things

8 - You're immune to lose items/immune to them become damaged or dirty

9 - You're immune of getting lost (you always know the way of every place)

10 - You always have enough money to buy whatever you want

11 - You're always clean and smelling nice

12 - You can eat anything you want at any amount you want and you don't gain any weight

13 - You always know when someone is lying

14 - You're immune of getting sick

15 - All food tastes amazing

16 - You always know when you're in danger and when you're being stalked

17 - You always know if your food has been poisoned

♡ Material things ♡

1 - Flip phones

The canon year in JJK is 2018, so technically, technology is advanced, but i wanted to have flip phones so bad!! And i think would be weird for me to use an old ass phone while everyone uses iphones or smth. So i scripted that technology is advanced as in 2018, however, phone brands simply continued the trend of creating phones with old designs!

And these are the phones i have:

2 - (product brand of choice) is cheap and accessible in dr

This lines up with the one talking about how brands and media that exist in cr, exists in dr. I can finally buy dior and sanrio stuff without having to sell my organs!!!!

3 - There are many brands of products in the exact style you like (and that are cheap and accessible)

For the girlies who have underrated type of style in which stuff is difficult to find. I specifically did with hime gyaru and coquette clothing!

4 - People always give you good gifts

In cases like spending your birthday there and someone gives you like a dead bug or something

♡ More + random ♡

1 - You always know exactly what the other person wants to hear

2 - Your breath is always nice

3 - You will remember everything that happened in dr in great detail and very clearly

4 - You are enchantingly beautiful from every angle (not only in dr🤭🤭 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒓𝒊𝒛𝒛)

5 - You know how to kiss really well, and everyone who has ever kissed you says it was the best kiss they've ever had in their entire lives

6 - Your skin is really soft and healthy

7 - You always give off the impression you want to give

8 - Your diction is really good and you never make mistakes in words/names.

9 - Everyone has a good first impression of you

10 - Everyone likes to talk to you and be around you all the time + no one feels uncomfortable/irritated with you around

11 - You are immune to experiencing uncomfortable situations

12 - You have the number of everyone you know

13 - (insert favorite fanfiction of your choice) happens

14 - No one secretly makes fun of you/thinks anything bad of you

15 - (insert character of your choice) exists in dr as a normal person

16 - All clothing looks fabulous on you/matches how you look

17 - You're not bothered by loud noises/loud people

18 - Your phone battery never runs out when you need it

♡ Scenarios ♡

☆ "X person invites me to lunch with them everyday"

☆ "X person sends me a lot of messages everyday"

☆ "X person loves to listen to music with me, and thinks my music taste is amazing"

☆ "X person loves my hair and asks to touch it a lot of times"

☆ "X person adores my cooking/baking"

☆ "X person visits me everyday"

☆ "X person sends me tiktoks everyday"

☆ "X person acts as if they don't like me, but i'm actually their favorite person"

☆ "X person gives me letters and tiny gifts everyday"

☆ "X person is pratically glued to me from how much time they spend with me"

☆ "X person and I have matching pfps on (app of choice)"

☆ "I have a lot of pictures of me and X person"

☆ "X person loves taking pictures with me, and of me when i'm not looking"

☆ "X person thinks about me everyday"

☆ "X person always worries about me and how i'm feeling"

☆ "X person admires my pictures everyday"

☆ "X person has me as their phone wallpaper"

☆ "X person wants to be around me all the time"

☆ "X person has the same sense of humour as me, and finds me really funny"

☆ "X people always want me around"

☆ "X person always jokingly flirts with me (but they're secretly serious)"

☆ "X person admires me when i'm not looking"

☆ "X person loves to stargaze because the stars reminds them of me"

☆ "X person's first instinct when they're bored is to think of me"

☆ "X person thinks i'm the best person they've ever met"

☆ "X person wouldn't trade time with me for anything in the world"

☆ "X person feels really comforted when i'm around them"

☆ "X person can't look at my lips too much or else they won't resist the urge to kiss me"

☆ "X person invites me to play videogames with them everyday"

☆ "X person buys a lot of things for me"

☆ "(song of choice) always make X person remind of me"

☆ "It's obvious to everyone that X person loves me"

☆ "X people always ships me with X person"

☆ "X person gets sad when i'm not around them"

☆ "X person only feels comfortable venting with me"

☆ "X person has a diary, and they write about me a lot in it"

☆ "X person always calls me by (nickname of choice)"

this was so fun to make! i'll gladly make a part two if y'all want! <3

[strawberrybyers]

most likely what is “coming soon” in regards to season 5 is some sort of teaser that focuses in on a certain object or location that represents the season and it will include the release year. like remember for season 3 they released a video of a whole bunch of rats running? and a commercial for the star court mall? and i can’t remember what they did for s4 but i think they posted a clip of the rainbow room?? i feel like that’s the kind of teaser we’re going to get. just something that looks vague on the surface but is actually giving us clues 👀

[brokenwinebox]

Claire: Ominous Or Naive?

this meta is still based on @vacationship and @thoughtfulchaos773 posts on molly’s interview but i’m focusing on claire more individually as a character inspired by @yannaryartside’s meta on her (maybe purposeful?) manipulative behavior. if you would like the full context please read the following in order:

vacationship’s meta w/ molly’s interview

thoughtfulchaos773’s meta on the topic

brokenwinebox’s meta on pushing

yannaryartside’s meta on claire

↓ extra long text below

word count: 9.8k

claire is one of the most controversial characters on the show the bear. people hate the way she was messily written by the writers and others don’t seem to mind it. but the question will always be on whether the strong dislike for her character is justified or not necessary.

carmy is an integral part of claire’s story.

it’s why i struggle so much with writing claire individually, because all the writers have done is only make her relevant through carmy.

in result of that, this will be a deep dive on claire’s character, but also a deep dive into carmy as well.

you’ll be in my mind, and see my thought process on everything regarding claire, carmy, and clairecarmy. basically, you’ll see my theories and attempt to understand claire and carmy as characters. am i insane for making this? yes! this will be a pretty long post, sorry!

throughout this claire analysis, i’m going to try to approach the topic of manipulation with the most neutral tone possible. i’ll raise a lot questions and maybe you could try to fill in the blanks for yourselves. i don’t really have any experience with psychology so if anyone has more knowledge/experience on the topic, don’t hesitate to join in.

before we get into it, i think we need to raise a general question that could be used throughout this meta: does claire truly have an ominous presence or does she feel naive in the way she handles her relationship with carmy?

this is where my previous post about the pushing involving claire and marcus come into play. we don’t know the full connection with sydcarmy and what the mutual pushing entails quite yet. doesn’t mean we shouldn’t think about them when i bring this question up.

how much pushing is warranted before it becomes manipulative?

for me, the problem always stemmed from the way the dialogue was handled. at first, it almost felt like you could look right past it and enjoy the rest of show. unfortunately, the dialogue is far too glaring for me and seemingly an endless amount of people feel the same way.

it always felt like carmy could be open sometimes to what claire suggests but with way she adds unnecessary verbiage like the “owe” and “say that one more time”, it felt like this optional door was closed and now we’re watching him not even have a chance to deny or accept. hence, why in my pushing meta, i said claire gets constant (reluctant) acceptance.

claire is a character that can’t be explicitly defined. it’s probably why the panic attack from carmy was such a striking moment in his brain and for the audience. maybe claire isn’t supposed to be heavily defined because carmy himself can’t define her. she’s just a girl he ended up rekindling with but he can’t define his feelings and ultimately, their relationship as a whole.

does he love her? is she his girlfriend? if he was sure, he wouldn’t hesitate to answer.

seems like carmy is throwing metaphorical spaghetti/his thoughts on the wall/his brain, hoping some of the noodles/his past and present will stick. fak’s meddling won’t work if he’s going against carmy’s utmost inner thoughts and feelings.

that’s probably why, in his head, claire could be the perfect choice for carmy to choose romantically. claire is representative of his past and present. i’ll elaborate further into that later.

in s1e8, he mentioned before in al anon that he was trying to fix the beef because he wanted to fix his relationship with his brother. even mentioned potentially fixing the whole family.

would carmy do whatever it took to sew his family back together and continue to date someone he didn’t have strong feelings for?

now that i laid out the groundwork, let’s start from the beginning of their relationship and work our way through it until the s2 finale.

i have a frozen in time theory when it comes to clairecarmy. might be worth checking out if you want to understand my thought process.

Reunion By Grocery Store Fridges

we’re in the grocery store and carmy is getting veal stock from a grocery store fridge. carmy is looking down at the veal stock, lost in thought (thinking of sydney maybe?)

we see claire approaching through the reflection of the glass door. she freezes, probably in recognition. she asks if that’s the person she thought it was.

carmy remained silent, like he was trying to place a face to a name. they stare at each other in silence until he finally reached to what her name was.

claire was hearing about all his endeavors through mikey so, it’s not surprising she automatically recognized him. carmy probably barely hears anything from his family.

claire: “so, how’s your life been, berzatto?” carmy: “i have no idea. how about you?” claire: “i have no idea.”

they nod at each other in acknowledgment. this is possibly when they felt a kinship between each other. both can’t define what’s been going on between them in life. it was a temporary relief, kinda like ice on a bruise. maybe this was the only time claire was being real with him. that little connection he felt is what prompted him to stay with her to talk.

they’re leaning on the fridge, catching up on the other’s life. she talks about how she’s has six months in her residency in her study on emergency medicine. carmy brings up how it sounds intense, could be potentially thinking about his past intense work in the kitchen. this furthers the connection between them.

claire: “when we were like six, she fell off a fence and broke her arm and it scared the shit out of everybody. except me, i just like sat there and stared at her arm.” carmy: “cause you wanted to fix it?” claire: “i wanted to understand it.”

she wanted to understand a broken arm. is this the writers telling us she want to understand him because she assumes he’s broken? why else would the writers make her say that?

carmy talks about opening the restaurant and claire looks at him with excitement.

claire: “why what are you doing?” carmy: “opening a restaurant.” claire: “you’re doing the thing.” carmy: “trying to, yeah.” claire: “still, i love the name.”

this is when we find out that claire knows the name of the restaurant. this was always strange dialogue to me because wasn’t carmy shy? why would he talk about something that personal? and with a crush, no less.

this is when i started messing with the idea that it wasn’t carmy who told her. what if mikey told her?

carmy: “how could you remember the name?” claire: “because you’re the bear, and i remember you.”

this is claire’s attempt to reach out to him emotionally. extending an arm. a silent little, “i see you. you’re not alone.”

this is a great juxtaposition to line sydney: “you’re the most excellent cdc at the most excellent restaurant in the entire united states of america. so, what are you doing here, i guess?”

what if this is when carmy senses the lie or something off behind her words? what if he knew he wasn’t really being seen at all? maybe he senses that claire wasn’t really talking to him. (mikey? his high school presence?)

what if he saw his past through her and he didn’t like it?

i can’t get over his reaction to that line either. you would expect it to be this happy expression but it wasn’t. carmy looked lost, almost dissociated.

perhaps, because claire wasn’t being genuine after that bear line, maybe carmy senses it and that connection he felt is lost. she asks for his number which causes him to give her a wrong one. it looked like he had that same dissociated look when he was telling her his number.

in result, this naturally slides down in place with the juxtaposition to syd’s “this was my dad’s favorite spot when i was a kid. come here every sunday. special place!”

(there’s an on going theory that speculates sydney was lying about her father coming every sunday.)

this moment might be where carmy severs his connection with her entirely. this scene was never mentioned again and the writers could have easily put this into the panic attack scene to calm him down. but they didn’t. why is that?

isn’t it strange that claire, who i said isn’t ever explicitly defined, can’t even define how her life has been? she seems like a character that would be very sure of herself. what happened there?

The Phone Call

we’re in carmy’s apartment, he’s cleaning up before preparing to get ready to go to kasama with sydney. his phone rings and he answers.

carmy: “hello?” claire: “did you really give a fake number?” carmy: “claire?” claire: “should my feelings be hurt? i think they’re hurt.”

i personally wouldn’t tell a person that gave me a fake number that i was hurt. in fact, i wouldn’t be trying to get their number at all. you could always say she said it on purpose to make him feel bad but maybe she genuinely just wanted to know if it was a mistake.

carmy: “hmmm no no no sorry, that must’ve been a mistake.” claire: “you know i know you’re entire family and the faks right?” carmy: “you know all the faks?” claire: “yeah i know all the fucking faks and they’re going to come beat you up.”

this could be a lighthearted joke but it does raise the question if she doesn’t respond well to rejection.

claire: “why just why. walk me through giving me a fake number. why?” carmy: “hmm no no cause i, uh, i didn’t mean for that to happen um i’m sorry. i’m sorry it was a mistake, okay?”

it seems like carmy doesn’t like being confronted with that question. it’s pretty huge to decide on not giving someone you used to like or even a family friend a fake number.

claire: “thank you, i really appreciate that. well, i was originally calling before i found out i got fake numbered and had to ask neil for your real number to ask if you were busy today, so now i have two questions.” carmy: “shoot, yeah.” claire: “okay, one is it okay that i have your number or did you really not want me to have your number?”

claire actually making sure if he really didn’t want her to have her number is commendable but if carmy already doesn’t like confrontation on that subject, he could just automatically agree to get out of saying he doesn’t want her to have it.

carmy: “no no no no it’s uh, i want you to have my number.” claire: “okay, say that one more time.” carmy: “i want you to have my number.”

i’ve talked about this line in my pushing meta but i always thought this little interaction was interesting. this could fit pretty well into the naive narrative i asked about.

maybe those words, “say it one more time,” were pretty reminiscent of a giddy teenage girl, confirming that her long-time crush has a crush on her too.

she asks if he’s busy, he glances up at the whiteboard “call fridge guy.”

he stammers as he looks at the whiteboard (possibly trying to let her down? try to explain he’s busy?)

claire: “can you just not make this weird? like, i need a favor. my cousin bailed on me.”

why didn’t she call anyone else in the berzatto family to do it (richie or fak)? it seemed like they’re close enough. that has to be because she wanted carmy to do it. it’s pretty naive to ask your crush to do this random task to spend time with them. but is this really naive or manipulative?

claire: “do you still have that van?” carmy: “yes, no we do. we still have that van. um i am in.”

i didn’t notice this the first few times but he looks at the whiteboard twice before agreeing. maybe the first time he thought of his task of calling the fridge guy with the second being sydney and the day he was supposed to have with her.

claire: “really?” carmy: “yeah, yeah really.”

he sounded so unenthusiastic here. like he need to conjure up some form of energy to say it. to be fair, moving boxes isn’t fun at all.

claire: “okay, i’ll text you the address.” carmy: “no. no, i know where it is.” claire: “really? cause i’m worried about your number issue.” carmy: “i know where it is” claire: “you know what, i’ll give my address to fak and then he can give it to you does that sound good? and then punch you in the face does that sound good?”

she keeps talking about the faks and how she’s going to get them to beat him up. is there going to be an argument/showdown with fak (or one of them) in the show at some point?

claire: “you know he uh he told me you guys are really close and he’s your best friend.” carmy: “fak said that?” claire: “mhm.” carmy: “no no no fak’s not my best friend.” claire: “really?” carmy: “no no he is. he’s probably my best friend.” claire: “that’s interesting. to sit with. for you.”

claire saying that was always so weird to me. i couldn’t tell if she, again, was being lighthearted or making fun of him here.

earlier in the episode, carmy is in al anon talking about his family ruining anything that gave him any sort of excitement.

carmy: “i think when i was a kid, anything that would give me any sort of excitement or amusement or enjoyment, it always got kind of fucked. you know, i don’t think my family meant to ruin it or anything like that. you know i don’t think they did it on purpose. i think they sometimes just try too hard. or they make promises they weren’t able to keep.”

i don’t think it was coincidence that the moment he suggested going out with sydney, it got cancelled immediately for helping claire with boxes.

In The Car

after looking at fak, who most likely reminds him of claire, he calls claire to do another task. they're on their way to the post office.

claire: “well, no i’m a terrible driver. i enjoy the risk of it.” carmy: “i should be worried then.” claire: “yeah, really worried.”

is this alluding to carmy being in the passenger seat with claire being doomed? that he shouldn’t be in the car/relationship with her?

what does it mean that carmy is always in the passenger seat with claire (figuratively and literally) but she’s a terrible driver? especially compared to sydney who was a professional driver.

this could be a very direct message to the audience that he should be worried about his relationship with claire.

claire: “i went to med school in new york so i never drove. so, i try to make up for it. the times i’m not working.”

obviously there’s subways in new york, but what if this was trying to tell the audience something else?

didn’t molly say claire might’ve had a previous relationship where she was the one being pushed? there could’ve been a time where she was in the passenger seat just like carmy and she didn’t like how it felt.

the person she was dating always could’ve had a car. i suppose it depends on what part of new york they were living in. maybe they found a way to steer her even with a subway and it made her a figurative passenger. even though this is definitely speculative, i’ll keep it here to reflect back on later.

also what were the writers intention when they made claire go to med school in new york? it seemed like all three: sydney, carmy, and claire were in new york for some pivotal moment. what could have been claire’s pivotal moment in new york? just med school? her past relationship in (potentially) new york? or something else entirely?

why does claire love the risk of it? this could mean claire is a bad driver/pusher. does she love the risk of pushing others? is there another way to interpret this?

after their little task trip, we see that they’re parked in a parking lot.

claire: “we’ve hung out, like, so much but we’ve never actually talked.” carmy: “yeah, yeah i know what you mean.”

it’s strange to think that they’ve hung out a lot but never said anything to the other. especially when you with think on carmy, who was shy, talking about a dream he has with his brother? that’s a pretty personal thing to share with someone if they never talk. something strange is going on there, i just don’t know what it is quite yet.

it gets a little stranger with claire mentioning that she sat behind him in algebra class in freshman year. carmy doesn’t seem to remember that, like he’s completely disconnected/dissociated from her entirely. why is claire remembering all of these things but carmy isn’t? why is she doing all the pushing/driving?

what if she knew about the drawings too? is this another thing mikey mentioned to her? maybe she was trying to slowly ooze it out of him. only to end up disappointed that carmy doesn’t bother to mention it. basically erasing its potential importance to the relationship entirely.

carmy: “i wish you talked to me more.” claire: “i tried. you’re really shy.”

this is what i was talking about earlier. how can he be shy, and talk about something that personal?

what if this is telling us that claire was always a pusher in some aspect? she probably tried a few times and because she didn’t get the response she wanted, she left him alone and ultimately put their potential of a relationship to rest?

a question i brought up earlier:

would carmy do whatever it took to sew his family back together and continue to date someone he didn’t have strong feelings for?

what if this is another version of that? carmy had said here with claire, he liked to think about mikey.

mikey could be the one of the sole keys to keeping the relationship between claire and carmy alive. but will mikey be enough to get him to define that relationship and his feelings? no. and that’s probably what’s devastating. he even said in the s1 finale, carmy realized he doesn’t really know anything about mikey. you could even argue that mikey isn’t that explicitly defined to carmy, similar to claire. he could have even projected a closeness to mikey to make himself feel less alone. he could be doing same projections with claire.

what if he said the words, “i wished you talked to me more” and unconsciously meant them for mikey? carmy was always upset about how mikey closed himself off to him.

i don’t think it was a coincidence that after he said that, he mentions mikey.

carmy: “you always had so many friends. i don’t know, i really wanted that. mikey had that.” claire: “yeah mikey was cool.” carmy: “mikey was cool.” claire: “mikey was cool like he would set something on fire.”

what does this mean? didn’t mikey try to burn down the beef to get insurance money? what prompts someone to say that? to play devils advocate, maybe mikey just gave off that vibe? but wouldn’t we hear it being said from other people? i don’t remember other people describe him this way.

claire: “speaking of dead brothers (mikey), do you wanna go to a party?” wasn’t mikey kind of considered the life of the party?

this could be her attempt to reconnect carmy to him somehow.

claire: “and i feel like you really owe me.”

i’ve already said this, but i definitely think this could’ve pushed him to agree. again, purposeful or naive?

claire: “when’s the last time you went to a party?”

this felt like a those typical/cliche movie moments where the popular girl convinces and takes a shy nerd to a high school party.

The (High School) House Party

in s1e8, carmy talks about mikey’s confidence and his ability to dial any room he walked into.

carmy: “he had this amazing ability. he could just walk into a room, and he could take the temperature of it instantly. he could dial it. i’m not built like that, man. i didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. i had a stutter when i was a kid. i was scared to speak half the time. and, uh, i got shitty grades cause i couldn’t pay attention in school. i didn’t get into college. i didn’t have any girlfriends. i don’t think i’m funny.”

can you miss someone so much and in the result of that grief, they adopt their personality?

we’ve arrived at the house party, with illegal fireworks and solo cups littered around the house. it’s pretty reminiscent of a high school party, even with the police coming to bust/raid the fireworks guy (kyle).

we have claire giving him a soda instead of beer. we’ve never seen carmy drink alcohol in the show. i don’t think the writers have been explicit in how he feels about being around it. but this is relevant for this scene that i will get into later.

after claire gives him an out on staying with her while she’s talking/listening to kelly by asking if he wanted to get kelly some water.

he immediately agrees and we find him in the corner where he looks at claire, almost lost in thought. then he gets bombarded with a random inebriated person calling him logan fernello.

drunk party guy: “you did the amazing shit in senior year. the shit with the spoons.” carmy: “with the spoons.” drunk party guy: “yeah.” carmy: “yeah.”

we cut to carmy telling his made up story to a group of guys. this is when the logan persona really comes into affect. logan telling his story felt very reminiscent to mikey telling the story of seeing/meeting bill murray.

then it struck me, what if this logan persona was really mikey’s? he talked about how mikey could dial into a room. what if this was his attempt at it?

claire: “you’re a real animal, logan.” carmy: “yeah, no the thing about logan is he doesn’t give a fuck. that’s logan.”

what if he was again, unconsciously talking about mikey here? carmy was always insecure about mikey not caring for him, it only got worse when mikey cut him off entirely. with the severed connection, carmy struggled in his attempts to reconnect with him.

carmy: “that was really nice with kelly, you’re really good with that.” claire: “good at what?” carmy: “listening.”

why didn’t he say a similar line “you love taking care of people.” like he did with sydney?

listening could always be potentially surface level. it doesn’t take a lot to listen to someone. with claire, it didn’t seem like she really cared about what kelly was saying. she was just entertaining her to make sure kelly felt better. but it takes more effort to take care of all of the people around you like sydney tends to do. taking care of people takes more passion/drive.

claire: “in college people would come back to my house after parties. and i think i got really good at managing sad drunk people.” carmy: “yeah i know that feeling.” claire: “i know you do.”

this is clear a connection to donna. i can’t help but wonder why claire would think a party is a good idea if he has experience with sad drunk people? maybe because she had past experience too, she naturally started pushing him to do it in the present?

carmy: “i missed this college thing, huh?”

this could be carmy acknowledging unconsciously that he’s just making up for lost time.

claire: “why did you give me a fake number?” carmy: “i like you so much. and i feel like i missed a lot.” claire: “well there was a lot of this.”

we hear the whistle of the fireworks before they start going off once she said, “why did you give me a fake number?”

i think this is another time claire was ever really real with carmy. carmy giving her a fake number clearly hurt her enough to want to know why. she said it in a joking manner when they were on the phone. although, that could have been a (high school) façade to mask her true feelings on it.

during the phone call, she asks him if he really wanted her to have his number. he confirmed he did but it’s clear she sensed something was up because she’s bringing it up again here. that’s why this scene is so fascinating to me. this could imply claire knew he didn’t want to but pursued him anyway. why else would she bring up the number thing again? if she legitimately thought it was a mistake, she wouldn’t have brought it up again.

he smiles a bit but also he also just furrows his brows while looking down, like he can’t come up with the words. this could show he doesn’t like confrontation. he stares off for a bit before he looks at her and says he likes her.

we see the colors of the fireworks reflect on claire as she smiles but i’m not sure if it’s because she likes his words or she’s entertaining his avoidance.

she starts caressing his face. he looks off to the side with a distant look. then, he looks up at her and we see her smile. but when we cut back to carmy, his eyes are already not on her. he’s aimlessly staring to the side once again.

he always looks so dissociated from her touch whether it’s her touch physically or verbally.

they get interrupted from the police so with carmy saying the code word, they run off. claire goes back to kelly briefly and carmy heads for the car.

after claire is done checking on her, she goes back to the car where carmy is outside of it by the passenger side.

carmy: “hey, here’s a crazy idea.” claire: “hit me.” carmy: “you wanna see the restaurant?” claire: “i’d love to.”

we're headed off to the restaurant.

A Restaurant Kiss

after the (high school) house party, carmy invites her to come back to the restaurant. claire accepts, coming onto an argument between richie, nat, and syd.

this is when claire meets sydney, her romantic rival, for the first time.

i always thought it was weird for claire to introduce herself to a family she’s already close to/know. the only person that doesn’t know her is sydney. but why interrupt an entire group argument for that? either that was purposeful or just straight naive. it could have been her attempt at using her introduction as an icebreaker.

in their their kissing scene, they’re over artificial lighting, probably insinuating a fakeness in their relationship.

is it a coincidence they’re kissing in the one place where the past and present intersect?

as i mentioned in the beginning, i have this theory where claire is representative of his past and present. we won’t go that in depth with this until the fishes episode.

“when is fak getting here? does he even have real tools???” does he even have the tools to keep claire and carmy together?

in s2e3, after carmy ditched sydney to help claire’s mother with moving things into storage, we follow sydney at kasama waiting for him, she texts him to ask where he is and that she’s going to order.

in the previous texts we see this conversation:

carmy: fak said he’s on his way sydney: when is fak getting here? does he actually have real tools??? carmy: it’s fak what do you think? sydney: that’s what i thought…

this could be alluding to fak’s tools/meddling aren’t things that will keep claire and carmy together. fak has been a huge role in their relationship. we even have the s3 trailer where fak is at the hospital, telling claire that carmy loves her. but will it help? will it solve anything between them? does fak have the right/real tools to make sure they get back together?

in s2e5, right before they kiss, fak interrupts them. he was waiting for richie on the roof. carmy tries to push him out (an attempt to stop his meddling maybe?)

fak says he needs his tools.

fak: “i love you so much but i need my tools.” carmy: “fuck your tools.” fak: “very well.”

what if this was fak’s attempt to fix the forcefulness/unnaturalness of their relationship metaphorically. this relationship he kept pushing onto them? he could have also been trying to make sure the roof doesn’t cave in, making sure they’re protected from their pretend (high school) reality.

maybe that’s why fak was happy about carmy mentioning claire being with him in the restaurant. he was finally taking control over his relationship for a moment.

fak even said: “i did that.”

he could’ve been happy he didn’t need his tools for them, thinking that they’ll get this happily ever after situation.

i suppose he didn’t realize that they were dead set hurtling towards their doomed relationship.

i wonder if time will only tell who has the true/real tools to have a healthy happily ever after relationship.

The Mention: Fishes

merry christmas, lizards! we’ve made it to the halfway point. it only makes sense that this episode is in the middle of it all because of how integral it is to carmy and claire’s relationship.

fishes is when we start to see things a little more clearly. in this episode, it’s christmas time in the berzatto household. we’re reunited with nat, carmy, and mikey but we also meet new faces.

after nat and mikey have their moment, talking about not asking donna if she’s okay and mikey saying he’ll handle her, carmy comes out the door.

carmy: “hey. hey mikey could you come inside and be you, real quick? i don’t know how to deal with these people.” mikey: “yeah, i’ll be right there.”

i’ve already mentioned how carmy said mikey could dial any room but in this episode it’s almost implied he depended on it. he relied on mikey taking care of the people in the house or just in general. it would make sense that carmy used mikey’s presence to help him with making up the story in the house party. he’s probably just so used to mikey doing it, it made carmy use mikey’s personality as a sense of comfort.

this got me thinking of sydney loving to take care of people. i think it just comes naturally to her. that might’ve been the problem with mikey. he probably did it like it��s a job/chore. but how could he take care of people without taking care of himself? this could’ve led to his doom.

carmy is shifting his feet, probably in anticipation for the day ahead of him.

mikey looks at carmy before glancing down then once he looks off to the side, he tells carmy that he’s happy he’s home.

mikey: “happy you’re home, bear.” carmy: “kill you to pick up the phone?” mikey: “carm, i’m happy you’re home. okay?”

carmy, still shifting his feet, nods and looks down. it’s clear that being ignored by mikey hurts him. at this point in their relationship, it’s fairly strained. it most likely only got more strained after this christmas.

after some silence, natalie says she’s not going to ask donna if she’s okay and asks carmy if he could handle her. he agrees.

natalie: “i’m not going to ask her if she’s okay.” mikey: “that’s good.” natalie: “yeah.” natalie: “carm, will you handle mom?” carmy: “yeah, i’ll handle her.”

with that, we’re off into christmas chaos.

even though claire isn’t in the episode physically, she’s very much with them in spirit. we won’t be focusing on the episode in its entirety because we’re only focusing on claire and clairecarmy.

regardless if she isn’t there, claire is a pivotal character/role to carmy’s character in this episode. we’ll be going through the possible connections i’ve made and this past/present theory that will be used throughout the rest of this meta.

after we meet donna, carmy walks out the kitchen to most likely take a break. unfortunately for him, he gets bombarded by mikey and richie.

mikey: “merry fucking chrismas, bro.” carmy: “what?” mikey: “merry fucking christmas.” carmy: “what do you mean? guys, don’t fuck with me right now.” richie: “no one is fucking with you!” mikey: “why would you think that?” carmy: “cause your always fucking with me, that’s why i fucking think that. what do you mean?” richie: “you’re not gonna fucking believe who we just saw.” mikey: “we’re trying to tell you we ran into the love of your fucking life.” carmy: “i don’t have a love of my life.”

i thought this was interesting because of how much time has probably passed since he’s last seen claire. it would make sense that he wasn’t really thinking of her much since she was just a high school crush. maybe he thought about her in passing, but it’s not unbelievable to think he hasn’t really thought of her since.

richie: “just fucking tell him.” mikey: “claire bear.” richie: “claire bear!” carmy: “you saw claire?”

in this scene, richie and mikey sound like they’re trying to sell a car. just a lot of exposition that doesn’t really have substance when you’re trying to tell someone about a potential love interest. they make it sound like claire and carmy getting together is a must because of her looks. just hearing this dialogue alone made me feel very overwhelmed. i can’t imagine being in carmy’s shoes.

carmy: “what did you do? what did you do? what did you do?” richie: “this is a once in a million opportunity for you to score with a woman that’s stacked physically and mentally.” carmy: “you’re having a child. what the fuck? why are you talking like that?”

it is a pretty crazy thing to say isn’t it?, and having a daughter too?! does richie and mikey truly believe there’s no other woman out there? this is when i started messing with the idea that they’re selling this idea for carmy to stay at home.

isn’t it fascinating that richie ends up being put in this position where it feels easy for him to use claire as a projection because of his own failed marriage?

mikey: “it’s done.” carmy: “who asked you to do that though? that’s what i’m saying.” mikey: “it’s a christmas gift. i fucking put in a good word. i told her about napa about copen, she ate that shit up.” carmy: “nobody asked you to do that.”

what if mikey was talking him up to claire because it was his way to get carmy to stay in chicago? or knowing what he was going to do, wanted to give him something that he contributed to one last time?

i talked about it in my pushing meta that carmy could have not liked being pushed but went with it anyway. carmy in this scene very clearly didn’t enjoy the meddling/pushing. that could be why with claire, he welcomes it because he’s used to it in some kind of way.

also does claire and carmy ever really talk about his endeavors? mikey told her all about it but they seem to only talk about it a little. i remember in the house party, they talked about it briefly before claire cut it off with her question on why he gave her a fake number. even in the restaurant, i don’t remember him talking about it there. am i missing something here? how come the one thing that possibly had a massive contribution to their relationship, is never talked about?

stevie: “she’s a deeply good person. i could see why you’re in love with her.” carmy: “i’m not in love with her though. that’s what i’m saying. where did you guys get this from that i’m in love with her?” richie: “cause you used to have all those drawings!” carmy: “that’s what i’m fucking talking about though. that’s what i’m talking about. that’s what i’m saying! that’s why i think you’re fucking with me.”

was it implied that carmy actually never had a crush on claire? carmy is already considered strange to his family. if i’m right then it isn’t out of the realm of possibility that carmy genuinely just enjoyed drawing her without much else being into it. what if they misinterpreted his drawings for feelings he never had? what if he was entertaining the idea of them together (reimagining their high school days) because mikey would have wanted it?

you don’t necessarily need feelings for the person you’re inspired by. i could be mistaken here but i’ll leave it in the meta anyway for reflection.

another thought is that he could have had a crush but there’s nothing more there. a crush is just an infatuation, you’re more in love with the idea of them rather than the person themselves. that’s probably another potential reason why he genuinely had a problem with them telling him he’s in love with her.

stevie: “carm, this is a good thing.”

in my theory about claire and carmy, i had this thought of them being conduits.

carmy is a conduit for the audience to feel his presence, emotions, and for us to see the world around him in the present.

claire is a conduit of the past, being easily projected onto by mikey, richie, and fak to bring up resurfaced feelings from the past (carmy’s old crush, his claire sketches, his high school presence etc.) and carmy could use her to fall back in time. in a time where mikey is alive or his presence is more felt. this could also explain why they were frozen in time once they met. and it worked briefly but for how long? is something like this sustainable?

we won’t be focusing on the bear drawing with mikey in it’s entirety but i made a possible connection here to what i said earlier.

carmy: “i don’t need you talking to claire and acting all nice if you don’t actually give a fuck, you know?” mikey: “what are you talking about, i don’t get a fuck? why would you say that to me? carmy, i give, like, i give like a huge fuck.” carmy: “yeah?” mikey: “fuck yeah! i give like the biggest fuck.”

this seems to parallel last episode’s dialogue regarding logan.

here’s what i said:

carmy: “yeah, no the thing about logan is he doesn’t give a fuck. that’s logan.” what if he was again, unconsciously talking about mikey here? carmy was always insecure about mikey not caring for him, it only got worse when mikey cut him off entirely. with the severed connection, carmy struggled in his attempts to reconnect with him.

i just thought it was a strange coincidence. claire could potentially be channeling these feelings onto carmy and remind him constantly of the past. one thing to remember is that claire and carmy's relationship seem to always go back to the fishes episode.

finally, we meet donna in this episode/meta.

she’s crying in the kitchen, smoking a cigarette. people are sitting at the dinner table wondering when she’ll come. carmy comes into the kitchen to check on her and donna goes into how no one cares for her.

donna: “i don’t think i can do this by myself anymore.” carmy: “you’re not by yourself alright?i’m right here. i’m with you.” donna: “nobody out there gives a shit about me. carmy: “that’s not true. mom, that’s not true, we all love you so much.” donna: “i had to beg you to come home.” carmy: “i’m happy to be here, okay?”

this could potentially fit into my thought that mikey was trying to keep him in chicago to get claire and him together. if mikey takes care of donna, maybe this is a way to get carmy to be there for donna too in a way. this is a very speculative thought that i’ll just leave here.

carmy: “why, um, what’s hard, mom? what is it?” donna: “i make things beautiful for them and no one makes things beautiful for me.”

let’s go back to the previous episode for a second. claire is comforting kelly on the couch with carmy on the side.

claire: “you deserve better. well, no one’s ever made me dinner before.”

i don’t know for sure if this is a coincidence but it’s another strange parallel that needs to be shared. as i said before, claire and carmy’s relationship seem to always go back to fishes.

anyway, let’s proceed with the fishes episode.

carmy: “why don’t you just give me your hand, we’ll go sit.” donna: “no.” carmy: “mom, come on.” donna: “i’ll go in a minute.” carmy: “alright, i’ll just wait.” donna: “okay, micheal. i’ll be there in a minute.”

carmy gets this strange disassociated look. he's staring off before blinking a bit and looking down. i had to play this multiple times but she does call him mikey strangely. mothers do tend to switch up the names of their children at times but this felt a bit intentional on the writer's part.

after asking if donna is good, which seems to parallel sydcarmy with asking if the other is good, donna demands him to go sit at the table. carmy wants to wait for her but she isn’t budging and even asked if they had a problem. he shakes his head in denial and donna goes to hug him. we watch them hug for a moment before donna pulls back and slaps him.

this is when it all kind of clicked together for me in this shot.

when claire started caressing carmy’s face at the house party, it felt familiar to something else but i couldn’t quite put my finger on it until watching this episode. they’re both in the kitchen. they both led to a confrontation of sorts. they both (potentially) have mikey in the conversation. they’re both shot in this warm hue.

what were the writers intent here? does claire remind him of his mother?

is carmy avoiding claire in s3 the way he’s avoiding donna?

Morning After: Back In The Present

in al anon s2e3, carmy talks about how he has to remind himself that there’s no other shoe. 

carmy: “(have to) remind myself that the sky is not falling. that, um, there is no other shoe. which is incredibly difficult because there’s always another shoe.”

it’s morning in carmy’s apartment and he is on the counter top, looking in the distance. claire comes around and they talk for a moment about the suppression test briefly (which is also connected to mikey) but after he has this interesting look. he smiles at her but he stares at her and (possibly) really sees her for the first time.

claire: “what?”

her smile kind of drops here too. his eyebrows furrow like he’s trying to find something but he’s lost. he always had this disassociated gaze with her but here it almost seemed like he’s finally trying to make a connection and couldn’t find it compared to when i said earlier about him (possibly) cutting the connection on purpose. he looks down and starts to apologize.

carmy: “i’m really sorry. i just um-” claire: “never ever apologize.”

this piece of dialogue is very glaring. claire could have meant well but telling someone to never apologize is such a red flag. especially, when you go back an episode and see that the berzatto family says i love you instead of apologizing it seems. (their relationship seem to always go back to fishes)

carmy: “i just want you to know that this is really nice. so nice that i um.” claire: “you’re waiting for the other shoe.” carmy: “that’s it.” claire: “wanna know a secret?” carmy: “yes.” claire: “nobody’s keeping track of shoes.”

why didn’t she say there isn’t another shoe? or there’s no shoes at all? instead, she said nobody is keeping track of them. what does that mean? for me, my interpretation for this was time. “nobody’s keeping track of time.”

in s1e8, carmy talks about how he lost track of time and mikey died.

carmy: “and the more he wouldn’t respond and the more our relationship kinda strained, the deeper into this i went and the better i got. and the more people i cut out, the quieter my life got. and the routine of the kitchen was so consistent and exacting and busy and hard and alive and i lost track of time and he died.”

i could be right on the shoe/time theory.

claire: “anything else you’re thinking?” carmy: “i’m thinking you’re very, very beautiful.”

more surface level compliments instead of anything that reaches emotional intimacy they need. she shakes her head and he nods. i can’t help but wonder if she was waiting for an i love you from him. at this point she had to have felt something to say it by the s2 finale. she still smiles as if she’s entertaining his avoidance like at the house party.

claire: “well break a leg, bear.”

now, i have many questions for this but all i’ll say is that it’s extremely strange to think back on who calls the other bear. isn’t it the berzatto siblings?! why is she calling him a nickname his siblings call each other? what was the writer's intention here? what was claire trying to say here?

The Uneaten Meal

there’s no dialogue in this scene so this section will be extremely short.

we see that carmy is wearing the beef shirt, something he’s never worn from what i remember. it definitely fits the narrative of what i said earlier about being in a time where mikey (or his presence) was alive.

i even mentioned how he could be adopting some of his behavior from mikey.

i also found it ironic that claire and carmy seems to have these connections with mikey but the moment he talks about his love for her to fak, “i love you, dude. let it rip,” was sent to sydney for approval.

and why wouldn’t she eat his meal that he slaved over? was she just so excited, she couldn’t wait anymore?

this is a great parallel to carmy making sydney a dish, without knowing and it being the best she’s ever had.

there’s still artificial lighting surrounding them. which could be interpreted as a fakeness in their relationship i mentioned earlier.

this is most likely the last scene where reality hasn’t set in for both of them. they’re still stuck in this place/time.

The (Warning) Panic Attack

his panic attack were the final warning bells that he couldn’t hide in the past forever. because in the end, it will all come to the surface/present. maybe claire and carmy’s reunion was the first shoe and his panic attack was the other.

the filter they have on her here reminded me of the fireworks that were reflecting back on them at the house party. fireworks in literature represents short-lived entities.

fireworks symbolism in liturature on google:

fireworks are short-lived entities; they are unimpressive before they are lit, and though dazzling while in action, they go up, explode, and are gone within a matter of seconds.

has anyone else noticed donna and claire were side by side during the panic attack the moment we get to the scene where claire is caressing his face at the house party? the same one i said how strangely it seemed to parallel each other?

in the panic attack, after the scene with claire caressing his face, it jumps straight to donna screaming. coincidence?

i have the full panic attack scene in my “carmy’s panic attack” meta so i’ll link it here for you to go watch it.

which is striking because the slap comes back in this scene but notice how it isn’t in this as saturated as the others? In fact, this scene doesn’t look the way it did in fishes. once donna slaps him we cut straight to sydney with even less saturation. he takes a breath.

in al anon (s2e3), carmy talks about how he has to remind himself to be present.

carmy: “i have to remind myself to breathe sometimes. i have to remind myself to be present, you know.”

donna’s slap could be a “wake up” moment before the present and future comes into view. then we see who that is: sydney.

sydney is representative of his present and future.

which could explain why sydney and carmy have that moment under the table claire ate at. why the music was in reverse before donna slapped him in the panic attack. it could represent time finally resuming.

what i said earlier:

he also said in the s1 finale, carmy realized he doesn’t really know anything about mikey.

which could also parallel the panic attack scene, it could be interpreted as him probably realizing he doesn’t even really have strong feelings for claire.

Breakup By A Restaurant Fridge

his panic attack was the warning and now time is up. when the clock resumed, after it got frozen in time from their first meeting, the past rushed into the surface and started to clash together.

the moment he hears that it was claire’s table, he leaves sydney, who is the present he needs. he ends up falling right back in time to claire’s table.

while carmy serves her his current food, she serves him a reminder of the past (his old boss from new york).

seeing his old boss causes him to freeze. he ends up going back to sydney with the reminder in his brain. He notices the seven fishes are cold, a family dish from the past on the current menu, and he snaps on sydney and even stumble over his words (possibly his past stutter coming back).

ultimately he asks syd to refire/warm him up. she tells him he needs to watch it, a warning to stay here in the present with her. he stills for a moment/melt, and he calms down similar to how he starts to take a breath once he saw sydney in his mind during his panic attack. he apologizes for his behavior. she apologizes as well. he leaves only to end up stuck in the fridge, another reminder of his past with claire in choosing to not call the fridge guy/not go out with sydney.

claire will channel him the past into the present, the one thing he can’t afford. It left him trapped in the fridge (a full circle moment/parallel to the fridge where they met). instead of outside of it this time, he’s inside of one where time stops to hear the past words of claire from that present day on a voicemail: i love you.

i always thought that it was weird that claire left carmy after hearing his words in the freezer. she’s a doctor, wouldn’t she want to remain there to make sure her (ex) boyfriend would live? 

maybe she was so overwhelmed with his words, she couldn’t handle hearing more? at this point, everything is a mystery. 

coincidentally, once she left the fridge, richie went over and called him donna. how many coincidences until it isn’t a coincidence?

in this episode, he reminded me of mikey in those moments. in the fishes episode, mikey and carmy share this very heartbreaking scene where carmy shows his sketch of the bear, the dream they both wanted. after mikey encourages him, carmy leaves in excitement. we’re left with mikey who ends up slapping himself, making the audience to deduce his suffering from his addiction.

carmy was seeing his old boss and mikey seemed to be hearing things (maybe street sounds?) in both scenes. coincidentally, carmy was hearing mikey during his panic attack before the images of food calmed him down in the s1 finale. which further explains the beef shirt carmy wore as he was making claire pasta. throughout this, he could have been trying to adopt mikey’s personality because of how much he missed him or doing it unconsciously.

then we get the parallel where we have a moment with them not being in their right mind which causes carmy to stare at the cannolis with a fork stuck into them and claire leaning on the fridge in tears.

the bear sketch and claire were also in the panic attack scene. carmy stopped communicating with syd which annoyed her the same way carmy got annoyed with mikey not communicating with him.

all could be speculation, but i think there’s something here.

in the fishes episode, we hear this story of richie and mickey’s morning after.

mikey: “things are really starting to spiral out of fucking control.” richie: “oh, we are past the point of no return.” mikey: “it’s not good. and now it’s the next morning right? we’re like fucking rocked.” richie: “rocked!” mikey: “like, i look over at him, i’m like, well jesus fucking christ man.” richie: “i’m looking at you and i don’t even recognize you at that point.” mikey: “it’s like a monster.” richie: “yeah cause you look like a fucking monster. couldn’t even tell it was you.”

this might be connected to s3 carmy.

Overall Conclusion/Questions

i’m going to talk about yannaryartside’s post a bit and try to find some kind of middleground and raise questions to conclude this post.

quoted from yannaryartside’s post:

“It is not like it is bad for Carmen to socialize and whatever. But she removed his agency completely; it feels like manipulation on many levels because she has perceived a lot of his struggle in this area; she also ignored his first reaction to going to the party and flipped her way. Carmy ended up trapped with a lot of immature young adults with whom he definitely has nothing in common. There was no space for actual empathy or connection to him to "come out of his shell." His conversations with Sydney are so natural because of this; there is connection and mutual respect, and he was very out of his shell with her.”

if i didn’t read molly’s interview, i would be ironclad that this was very purposeful on claire’s part to rope him in making him something he’s not. although, since making this meta, i’ve been trying to look at this with a little more nuance with my attempt at neutrality with her character and the topic of manipulation.

as i mentioned in my pushing meta, her offputting words could definitely push him to agree with her and let her take the wheel with him in the passenger seat (literally and figuratively)

but i couldn’t help but think about it from another perspective. i talked about mikey, richie, and fak’s lack of boundaries and how it ultimately could be something both claire and carmy don’t really understand where/when the line is crossed. they both just go along with it because that’s what they’re used to.

claire: “and i feel like you really owe me.”

that line could definitely be easily avoided on her part. it didn’t need to be said but that could have been the push that caused him to go like every other moment they ever had in regards to claire convincing him to do tasks with her.

if anything, that constant acceptance concerns me. if carmy continues to be stripped of his agency during his relationship with claire, how much did her previous relationship take from her to influence this?

how much did she learn from them? how many constant (reluctant) acceptances did she grant before they departed? when was the limit? claire’s relationship history is so vague that she could have been in that previous relationship long term and got out of it right on time for christmas. we definitely need clarification on that.

what if she barely had boundaries so she doesn’t expect it from carmy?

if she’s never learned boundaries, then who are three men that could use her for potential projection? in the end, it seems like it all goes back to fishes.

another question is, how much responsibility do you think claire should have for his lack of agency?

maybe she reverts to this immature (high school) persona because rather than admit to the pushing she might not have liked, like potentially carmy, she pushes him because she saw herself through him. remember when i said carmy is a conduit for the present? but is that manipulative or naive on her part?

the reality of it all could be, they were both just trying to entertain the others past in the present. but how could you be in the present without healing from the past?

that’s why they were frozen in time. they can’t move forward from their past when they’re together. carmy and claire’s relationship was a temporary balm where they could push their past onto each other while they relive/reimagine their high school years.

i just don’t think they realized time will always come knocking on your door eventually.

all of this to say, i don’t know what the writers are smoking over there but i might have gotten into some of their stash by accident.

i guess the other important questions throughout this analysis is how do you feel about claire? how do you feel about her after this meta? what’s next for her character in s3?

thank you to anyone who read this! i’m a perfectionist so i had to rewatch all the scenes i mentioned here over and over again to make sure i got the dialogue correct. sorry this was so long too. i hope this all made sense! my brain was going down this continuous spiral while writing. hopefully that isn’t easily conveyed here lmao. all my metas make me feel so delusional like i’m a paranoid investigator. where’s that red thread?!

feel free to respond or disagree with me!

[cerosin-bis]

Hello Cerosin :]

I have several questions, if I may.

1. How are you?

2. Has Nikto always been bad at taking care of himself or is that a result of the torture?

3. how does Krueger handle rejection, if he's interested in someone?

4. In your fic "Anger Management" (btw I love both your arts and writings!) Nikto hugged Krueger tight, before Krueger fucked him. It says "it's conflicting for Nikto" what does that mean? Would Nikto like to have a normal relationship with someone? Like, does he want/need a certain tenderness but knows Krueger probably isn't able to show it?

Thank you for your time and all your great works for this ship! It literally wouldn't exist without you and I mean it in a good way!

Have a good one and be safe :]c

Hi hello! 1. I'm doing mostly fine! Thank you for asking 🥺 I hope you're well, anon!

2. I think Nikto never really practiced "self-care" due to both his education (or lack thereof...) and his personality. However it's noticeably worse since his torture and the development of his mental illnesses/conditions because he now barely even thinks of basic human needs.

3. Good question. I think he'd be very frustrated because it's RARE, but be able to move on very quickly. Orrrr he would try extra hard (which ultimately does succeed but at very high costs with dire consequences. this would have happened with Nikto, but didn't need to because these two were doused in gasoline to begin with imo.)

4th answer regarding Nikto, Krueger and intimacy under the cut bc this got long.

(And thank you so much. I don't want to be presumptous as to say I ~invented~ the ship because there were like 3 fics when I posted Remanence already, but feeling like I was able to set its foundations in art and then consistently over the past years is unbelievable when I see where it is today.)

4. Thank you so much for letting me know you like both my art and my fics!! I feel like I never say it enough, I'm incredibly grateful people are reading all the shit I put out, let alone let me know they liked it. 😭

So, in my headcanon, Nikto craves intimacy in very very short and specific "windows", but he has a conflicted relationship with it as a concept.

Krueger can display tenderness/intimacy without a second thought if he knows it's needed by the context (and this is one), but his affectivity is abnormally... dulled? if I may say. Krueger's emotions are genuine... but extremely dampened. So it suits Nikto, because it's "as if" there were no feelings (there are. but it's beyond gestures, it's whatever they have. the codependency and violent devotion, the wordless communication... Tenderness is a rare occurrence in this whole frame - an occurrence that Nikto likes, but would rather not acknowledge, if this makes any sense.

In my headcanon, again, Nikto wouldn't be able to have a normal relationship with anyone. Normalcy repels and scares him, and even if it wasn't the case... Without extensive therapy, which he will likely never want to get, he has too many issues regarding emotions, attachment, jealousy and violence. (I want to stress this again, this is just my specific and personal hc of the character)

[aratedfreyjablog]

Corner Talk about in Regards to PB's Announcement in Sharing Paid Contents

So, at this point everyone has read the recent announcement PrettyBusy has posted in regards to sharing ANY paid content. For the full announcement you can access it here but for those that just wants a sweet, small summary, it's essentially them taking legal action on anyone who:

Share any DATAMINE of PAID characters

Share any of the PAID characters FULL story, chats, etc.

So, they still allow players to share parts/bits and pieces of the paid content, just not all of it.

Though it seems like everyone can understand the whole business side of things, there's still confusion on the datamine aspect as in how is datamining is illegal, why is there legal action taken against datamining, etc.

First, I feel like people need to understand that datamining, itself, it NOT illegal. The problem is sharing datamines publicly on any social media. The reasons are for the following

Intellectual Property Rights: when companies release games, all of their contents are protected by trademarks, copyrights, and intellectual property laws. When posting content that company didn't share themselves on their own social media page or to EVERYONE (both F2P and P2W), it's infringing copyright laws since the one sharing it wasn't the one to have produced/created the work or data (think of it reposting artists work without their permission but you're sharing a work that was put in by artists and game creators of the company without their permission).

Terms of Service Violation: Many software applications, websites, and digital platforms impose terms of service (ToS) that users must agree to before using their services. These ToS often prohibit activities like reverse engineering, data scraping, or extracting data in a manner that circumvents the intended use of the service. By datamining and posting content obtained in violation of these terms, you are breaching a contractual agreement between yourself and the platform, which can lead to legal consequences.

Security: there are certain codes and firewalls set up that many (if not ALL) game companies put in as a means to detect if there is any malicious activity happening within the system that could potential harm the players (e.g., hacking and extracting players' personal information). When datamining, most people aren't aware in what form these protective barriers are set-up, so when extracting contents from the game, rather than being seen as simply getting contents for one's amusement, it can be detected as a threat by the security system.

What I wrote are only snippets of the few reasons as to the legal concerns in sharing datamine contents. And despite for other fandoms, it's not as prevalent, game companies are starting to take up action in regards to datamining, some being obvious about it while others are being discreet.

However, if we were talking about solely on the announcement, it's understandable why it would bother players, especially F2P. For other games (not saying ALL or MOST), they do eventually make the paid content accessible at some point for F2P without having to make them wait for so long. However, PB isn't taking much initiative with that, where now they're adding characters from the Solomon Seals after 3 MONTHS while, for now, not letting F2P have ANY ACCESS to limited characters from Nightmare Pass. To top that off, previously PB had promised re-runs of events, which would've allowed newer F2P to have a chance to play the event and obtain resources/characters from it. But now they have their previous events accessible behind paywall, decreasing the likelihood for event re-runs to happen. As for P2W, players are literally paying to get the character and related contents related to said character so there shouldn't be much restrictions in sharing their paid content on public platforms in the first place (this is not to say they should disrespect PB and share everything though). This is without mentioning some of the promises that have already broken based on the announcement earlier this year and last month (?) (Main story drop every 2 months, Friendship System, Comics related to Cards being posted on their Social Media, etc.).

Hopefully PB will reconsider and address some of these issues with the upcoming event for Bethel and Belphegor dropping on 6/26.

[fancyfade]

Damian's intro in Batman and Son analysis

Okay so. This will be shorter than my Lonely Place of Dying meta (link) because rather than focusing on multiple story elements, I want to just focus on how Morrison presents Damian to the audience.

Again - this is not me saying this comic is bad (I mean. The treatment of talia definitely is bad but this post is about how Damian is presented) or 'you can't like this comic'. Just an analysis of what the audience sees.

General thesis: Morrison doesn't try to make Damian likeable, and does what they can to make him unlikable, but he is not presented as a villain, even though he does villainous things. He's presented more of an obstacle, a spoiled kid who happens to have assassin training.

Okay so let's start with his very first appearance.

Damian is obscured in shadow, or only a small portion of his face is visible, for the first two issues he appears in (until the very last page of the second issue) to keep a mystery on who he is. This is a pretty common technique for hiding character's identities in comics. It's also what the artist does for Talia, though we see her face a little earlier than Damian's.

We don't see Talia's face until Batman recognizes who is behind it, and even after that Damian is in shadow (clearly visible to Batman, but Batman doesn't comment on him) until Talia introduces him.

This is the first time we see him fully on panel.

Okay, so we've covered how Damian is presented on panel before we know who he is. Now lets get to what information is presented about Damian?

From the first thing Talia says about Damian to Batman, Damian is portrayed as out of control, something that continues into the next comics.

When Damian gets to be Batcave he:

Is generally unimpressed with the Batcave

scoffs at the idea of fighting crime

starts touching Bruce's unfinished projects

Clarifies his mom was not present in his childhood and let him do whatever he wanted

Tries to fight Bruce

Dismisses Tim

Cusses out Alfred

Then in Wayne Manor

Demands a laptop

Implied to have been insulting Alfred this whole time ("My patience for colorful insults is wearing thing")

Throws food at the wall

I think any one of these things might make the presumed comic reader slightly predisposed to disliking him. All of them at once is like. "He doesn't have the morals that the rest of the cast does (they want to fight crime, he doesn't). He wants Bruce's approval but does not verbally respect him. He has no regard for fan-favorite characters like Alfred or Tim". Pretty much trying to make him unlikeable for many readers.

It's also notable that even though Damian is a jerk to Tim and Alfred, the author never presents it as being justified. It's not like "this new character is a jerk to fan-favorties because I don't like them and want to put them down".

one complaint I often see is "Morrison doesn't like Tim", but I think it's notable that Tim is portrayed as someone who's supposed to be reasonable here. He tries to be friendly to Damian when Bruce introduces them, he offers to spar with Damian and "go easy on him", even if behind the scenes he does express frustration to Bruce.

Damian also isn't really portrayed as utterly trouncing Tim. Their actual fight scene:

Only lasts three pages, and for most of it Tim is not actually trying to fight back.

For a "Character is beat up by a 10 year old" that's a pretty gentle scene, in terms of competence of the character. He's trying to help. He's not fighting back seriously because he views Damian more as a kid than a threat. He's concerned about Alfred. I'm like jeez I wish the writers who hated Damian would be that gentle with not disparaging competence, putting in extenuating circumstances and him being genuinely concerned for people when something that wouldn't normally happen has to happen to further the plot.

Anyway - then when we do see injured Tim, the focus seems to be on the severity of the act. There's no downplaying it.

When Bruce finds Tim, he's horrified and angry at Damian ("You did this"), he keeps Damian with him because he's too dangerous to be left alone.

So it's pretty clear that Damian beating up Tim and intending to replace him is something intended to make him more unlikeable, not something to besmirch Tim.

Okay, so why is Damian an inconvenience rather than a villain?

Damian in general lacks the motive to be a villain here. He's not framed as someone who has a big master plan - that's Talia (framed badly by Morrison who retconned a lot of her character - but that's another post).

Meanwhile, this is what Bruce says about Damian

And when Damian is yelling about wanting stuff:

Even when Damian does attack and assault Tim, it's clearly not due to some larger plot, or even that he genuinely hates Tim and wants him dead, but the fact that in the place he was raised, that's what you did

And Damian is instantly ready to be on Bruce's side after his attempt to replace Tim fails:

Yeah you're not seeing a supervillain begging to be useful to Batman. It is pretty clear he's supposed to be read a disruptive, amoral kid.

Anyway, so comparison to Lonely Place of Dying:

Both comics start with the premise that the reader presumably likes the established characters. I already got into how much LOPD relies on the comic reader being a fan of Batman and Robin, but I think it's clear here that that's the case as well. Morrison does make plenty of references to the past (whether they understand them or not is a discussion for a different time) with Bruce's previous LIs, mischaracterizing Talia and Bruce's earlier relationship, the man-bat characters, what Bruce has been up to in the one year since Infinite Crisis. They also portray Tim as someone who is generally trying to help and competent, with 1 or 2 bits of realistic pettiness or annoyance thrown in (like him saying (privately, to Bruce) that Damian should earn Bruce's love and respect like everyone else - interestingly enough, a premise Damian does not disagree with), just not the main character of the narrative. And if you include this to other things that Morrison wrote with Tim (like some of the Black Glove plots) its clear Morrison is not trying to 'depower' tim or anything.

So Damian beefing with Tim and assaulting him and Alfred is another thing that makes him read as less likeable to the audience, rather than something that puts Tim and Alfred down. This contrasts greatly to how much Tim respects and admires Dick in LOPD. In both cases, the established character (Tim for Damian, Dick for Tim) has other things going on that justify why a new character might show them up or be useful/a threat. (I got into my post in LOPD about how they were careful to not let Tim 'show up' existing characters).

[feinv]

Hi, if your requests are still open, then how about a yandere-ish John Wick? Inspired by your recent post regarding John being good to his girl while everyone else is terrified. Maybe she finds out about his profession accidentally and naturally, her first reflex is to run. But oops! The doors are locked and John is firm but gentle like "Let's talk. please calm down darling" and maybe some veiled threats? He would make such a delicious soft yandere.

soft yandere!john wick x reader. anon. anon…were you trying to send me into coma with this because i fear it worked…

a sob wailed out of your body when the door knob didn’t fully turn down. locked.

you turned around, your back hitting the hard wood, your writhing body facing john. “get away from me! you are a murderer…a killer!” tears streaming down your face, your vision blurry as you yelled at him with a broken plea.

“sweetheart. it’s not like tha-,” his gentle voice reached your ears before he cut his words mid-sentence, his footsteps stopping when he registered your horrified demeanor, sighing. “alright. look,” he brought his hands up in a surrendering position, a good feet away from you, indicating that he wasn’t planning on doing any damage to you.

“this whole time, darling, have i ever hurt you? emotionally, or even…physically? hm?” he questioned towards your direction, patiently waiting for your response.

what felt like an eternity passed by as you shook your head as in no, your lips quivering as more silent tears coaxed your cheeks.

“and it will stay that way,” he stated matter of factly, “don’t you get it? i don’t want you to be scared of me. not you. never you,” he stepped closer. “anyone, let alone raises their voice at you, i will slaughter them to pieces. right in front of your eyes,” his eyes shooting daggers of possessiveness and lust.

“don’t say that…john. please,” a headache was crippling through your nervous system as your slowly slid down the door, your body pooling on the floor as you weeped in disbelief and horror, “i don’t want to know that.”

“i mean it,” he kneeled down in front of you to be on the same eye level, sloowwly moving into your personal space. “i will cross every line, every moral i have in me to protect you.”

“i just…i- need to be alone. i need some space…just a day or..or two…” you tried to compromise, and make it sound like you just needed time to process everything, not escape.

“i’m afraid i can’t allow that,” he whispered, shaking his head softly, “don’t you get it what will happen to you out there? all alone? i can’t keep you safe if you run away from me, can i?”

you didn’t dare to pry further, submitting to his gentle yet firm voice, avoiding his eyes at any costs. you were terrified that you won’t find the warm brown loving hue you were so used to seeing every second of your time spent together.

“come on. let’s get you cleaned up,” he accepted his win when you didn’t flinch from his fingertips that wiped across the soft skin of your wet cheeks, directing your gaze towards him. “we will talk when you calm down, alright sweetheart?” he pecked your lips before leaving another kiss to your forehead, “i love you.”

he wrapped his strong hands around your waist, embracing you into his arms as he lifted you off the ground, carrying you to the master bedroom upstairs as you mutely wetted his cotton shirt, your arms tightly locked in the back of his neck.

[secondgenerationnerd]

regarding your asks post - something about stephcass wedding?

d'aw!! I'm waiting on my dad to send me a laptop (Its 2-3 years old and he's got like 12. Perks of a computer engineer dad) then I'll do a whole post of Sims Screenies for their wedding

First, to everyone's surprise, Steph is the one to propse. And yes, she did catch Cass off guard and made her cry (in a great way, she was so so happy)

They'd talked about getting married and kids, but no one expected Steph to propose at a Halloween event. Babs waited to ask what Steph was dressed as (Vampire bride) and Steph said "Hopefully Cass's Fiancee."

They kept the wedding itself incredibly intimate, like under 100 people. The engagement party was huge so rich people could feel included. It was Barbie themed and all Cass's brothers were a different Ken.

Selina insisted on taking each of them dress shopping. Diana Prince, Dinah Lance, Babs, Kate Kane, Mar'i, and Nell came along to both appointments and were the best people to have.

While talking about it at family dinner, someone asked if they wanted anyone to walk them down the aisle. Cass blinked and said "Baba is walking me down the aisle...did I forget to ask?" (Bruce was fully ready to cry)

Steph asked Jason if he'd walk her down the aisle. They definitely bonded over their childhoods and tend to understand each other better than anyone. Jason did cry and isn't ashamed to admit it.

For their wedding party, Cass had Damian (her Brother of Honor and had the rings), Tim, Duke, and Mar'i. Steph had Jason (Best man), Nell, Kate, and Dick.

Helena was their flower girl and inisted Alfred walk with her.

Babs was their officiant because they couldn't imagine anyone else marrying them

There wasn't a dry eye in the house during the vows.

They let Mar'i choose their first dance song. Since Cass is a professional dancer, they didn't want to feel pressured to have a perfect dance. They just wanted something that felt like them

She chose "Carry You Home"by Alex Warren. "I choose us everytime" is the line that sold her. Because if there's one thing Mar'i knows about her aunties, its that few people ever chose them for good reasons growing up. They have always chosen each other.

Their reception lasted all night, no villains interrupting. No Crisis. Nothing blowing up. Just good times.

Instead of the normal speeches by certain people, they had an open mike portion, with anyone who wanted to say something getting two minutes.

Damian made everyone cry with his. Just a simple quote from "The Chaos of Stars" by Kiersten White.

“I didn't fall in love with you. I walked into love with you, with my eyes wide open, choosing to take every step along the way. I do believe in fate and destiny, but I also believe we are only fated to do the things that we'd choose anyway. And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you”

[darklinaforever]

I don't know if you know or even care judging by your heartless attitude and those of the anons baiting, but Grace has been discharged from the hospital. She just needed a few stitches. Her brother has said Grace is actually not meant to be on social media as it's hugely triggering for her, plus she has a history of making posts that spark harassment etc because her takes are seen as discriminatory etc. He thought it was the same old situation again and doesn't get the whole plagarism thing. I messaged him the screencaps Grace took of her post and yours and he thought she had written both posts which says it all. He's not really interested in that tbh. However he has contacted law enforcement for advice regarding the harassment claims - they have seen the screencaps of everything but the fact Grace deleted her blog has caused hassle. Without an actual account to trace the IPs then it gets complicated. They recommend getting legal representation in the meantime and to contact Tumblr directly. Grace's injuries have been photographed and filed, so has the whole plagarism thing as background but they're not really interested in that either. It's more about the threats. I don't know if you were involved but apparently the officer said they have to have actual evidence in terms of the original situation motivating a backlash from your followers. But it's sketchy and we can't make unproven allegations. He said so far there's no actual proof online of you goading people to go after Grace. Your responses are not enough to indicate this. If the case goes ahead and they uncover evidence, then yes, they will then act. Tbh, they're not really being helpful with this as they are implying it's a waste of their time and resources. The officer admitted that your post was probably plagarised but that's it.

I'm going to cut it off there as I've wasted enough time on this. I hope Grace learns her lesson and stays off this hellsite. The only good thing about this is all my mutuals and theirs have now blocked you if they hadn't already. I've heard a lot about you over the past 24 hours and none of it is good.i had no idea who you were before or I'd have moved to act sooner to protect Grace from you. God knows how many vulnerable people you fucked up ready. I'm hearing crazy things about you defend paedophelia, you pretend to be bi to express Anti LGBTQ opinions and get away with it etc. I don't know if this is true but who knows. I just think you are a really dangerous individual and people are taking your opinions at face value as fact. Anyone who challenges you is immediately called crazy and deluded and then subjected to abuse. Grace could have killed herself over this and for what? Some idiot copying her post? I feel you have a lot of unhealthy thoughts and feelings and post them here because in real life you'll get trouble for it. I don't really care. I just think you're absolutely vile and people should block you for their own safety.

1. I don't pretend to be Bi. I am bisexual woman. And I have never declared anything anti-LBGT. I'm just not comfortable with changing the on-screen gender of a male character who has been exist for years. It's still crazy to be called queerphobic for that.

(If you look at my tumblr account, I'm currently obsessed with the ship Catwin and Dead Boy Detectives in general ! 😂)

2. I am not defending pedophilia. Not even incest, because I'm also accused of that. Shipping fictional characters has nothing to do with real life. You need to get treatment.

3. The same people who say I'm anti LGBT also accuse "Grace" of also being anti-LGBT, by the way. Just to show you the level of stupidity these people have.

4. There is no evidence that my subscribers have harassed anyone ! And if they did, I NEVER in any way encouraged that to happen. As for this girl (apparently named Grace), I literally said that if it was true, it was sad, but I had nothing to do with it, and that I hoped she would get better. (How does that make me heartless?) But once again, I DIDN'T PLAGIARIZE HER, I didn't harass her, and I didn't encourage anyone to harass her (or other people) either.

I am a person who stays in my tags on tumblr. I almost never go to other people's blogs and even less to harass them with anonymous messages. At this point, I am the one who has been the victim of harassment by antis who are spreading bullshit about me and it continues now.

If this whole story is true, I wish Grace well, but I didn't plagiarize her, nor did I send anyone to harass her. And that's just the truth. Whether you believe me or not I don't care, I have a clear conscience and that's all that matters.

[salemlunaa]

Hi:,) I hope you’re having a great day! I have a question regarding my situation.. It’s Trigger Warning/ death‼️ I just found out by my boyfriends family that he was killed. Before I found out this terrible news I was anxious and thinking something bad probably happened to him because he hadn’t responded to my messages in over 2 weeks. Well. I got a call from them telling me this right today.. what can I do? I been spiraling and confused in total disarray all around on what to do so I can be with him again and see and talk with him. I miss him so much Its hard. I couldn’t find much information about manifesting a specific person who passed. I was only met with thats not possible even when I hear people say “ anything is possible and we are limitless” Please reply back if you see this. Thank you

@celestials-realm

hi sweetheart, first off: i am so sorry, and second: gonna write this post with a message to you and to anyone else manifesting something “big” or “heavy”. anything, absolutely anything is possible. If you see someone who acts so high and mighty preaching about the law, just for them to turn around and have the audacity to tell someone that something is “too big” to manifest, then they’re dumb and not someone you should be looking to for advice or opinions.

If you want to manifest his revival, i suggest doing it with a subconscious method, although there is NOTHING too big or small, i feel like a subconscious method would make things “easier” if that makes sense. methods like the void and SATS are two big ones i would recommend. When it comes to the void specifically i want you to steer clear of overconsumption, once you read to much you will begin to put the void on some super high pedestal and view it as this real hard thing. Trust yourself and tell yourself how easily and instantly you enter the void. Don’t over complicated this easy method and don’t overthink it. You’re a god so whatever you say goes.

For more on SATS there is a video by the youtuber Rita Kaminiski explaining what SATS is and i truly recommend 💗

And again i’ll tell you guys there is nothing too big or too small, too many hypocrites have infested this community with their bullshit, preaching about how we can do anything yet turning around to tell someone that what they want to do isn’t possible. Now tell me, if we’re gods and we can do anything, how does that even make any sense?

Manifesting a needle is the same as manifesting being a billionaire

Manifesting your eyes to be a lighter shade is the same as revising a whole ass country for you to live in

There’s nothing too big. ever. It’s your mindset and the way you look at things that become an obstacle, all you need to do is change self and the rest will follow 💋💋

[lovecolibri]

Thank you for answering question regarding buck and Chris. It’s truly amazing to see how the discourse shifted within like 2 months. It’s so interesting especially seeing that one TikTok account and just attempting and failing at “proving” how buck is a” fun uncle”. For reference below

https://x.com/buckprotector/status/1802246051673358561?s=46

https://x.com/bucksdaylight/status/1800876967061008885?s=46

Just a few days ago, Ryan discussed how ever since Shannon is gone, buck is there. To quote ““I believe there’s an offer of comfort to Eddie knowing that even though Shannon isn’t there, he has somebody else in his life that he can kind of pass the reins to and say, ‘Hey, I need another perspective. Please help my son out”. HOW is this, a FUN UNCLE.??? To add, ever since temu has been back on our screen, we aren’t even allowed to discuss eddies sexuality or buddie because “it’s not canon”. It just sucks. Like, the whole pride post? And all the occurred… for YEARS we as a fandom have identified with buck and Eddie and viewed them as queer coded/queer and WERE SO HAPPY when we got confirmation. But now, we can’t view Eddie as gay because it’s “disrespectful” and “not canon”. Like huh? If THOSE people were happy about bibuck, they are the biggest hypocrites. Because how can you be happy about bibuck if you never viewed him as bi? (Right? Because it’s not canon). Shouldn’t you have been shocked, angry, or confused? Make it MAKE SENSE!!!!!!! The way they dismiss temus actions and try and rewrite history and make him besties with chim and hen? Like yes, 2x14 chim called him for A FAVOR. then, 3x16 proved that he hadn’t reached back out or talked in over a year (even attempted to make contact) and both chim and hen said they wouldn’t consider their old teammates “friends”. Plus, he was never mentioned again. Also, temu calling him Howie vs chim. Again!!!!!!!! The way they talk about T and honestly i ask myself, “is my tv not showing these scenes”. The way they accuse the cast of being “forced” to like/hang out with Ryan or the “reason” as to why Oliver doesn’t post about BT is due to the buddie shippers???? Like he was POSTING CONTENT about bucktaylor at the PEAK of buddie. What’s stopping him now? Why did he post a screenshot of 7x09 regarding buddie+chris when he easily could have added a SS of chimney+buck+ T or Buck+ravi+T? But didn’t. Nothing for 7x10 besides liking a buddie post… hell, even after 7x04, he never once posted the kiss or their scenes, but simply the basketball scene and then in 7x05 the buddie karaoke. Nor did he post the hospital kiss.

lol. you KNOW some of the people being pissy about that pride post this year were former Buddies who re-tweeted something like it last year 🙄

Also, the cast so, SO clearly LOVES Ryan, and love hanging out with him! They have a great time on set together! They're always goofing off and joking around! It's just a fact that we have seen from videos cast and crew have taken BTS! Please, be so for real right now.

As for Oliver posting things, I would even argue that the ONLY reason he posted tay kay stuff was because the network forcibly shut down bi Buck/Buddie and he was told he HAD to promo that relationship in interviews. Same with L and the thousand and one interviews we got there when the network was trying to force something there, desperately trying to get the GA to like literally ANY woman with Buck so they could swerve from what we all saw building since 2x01. The fact that the show put zero effort into BT 2.0 and Oliver wasn't posting with a gun to his head about it speaks volumes to me about what is planned for s8 🤷🏻‍♀️

[laurapalmerz]

i think we as a society should talk about audrey more. next to shelly and laura, she's one of the most mischaracterized throughout the entire show. an endlessly fascinating case of existing often just as ship material or stripped down to aesthetics instead of exploring the rather horrendous abuse that she and her brother have faced living in the horne household.

the fact that her father plays a pivotal role for a while in terms of her self worth is really depressing, especially given she doesn't receive much attention from him in the first place. her jealously of laura stealing the attention away from him at parties also foreshadows a lot of what she'll go on to experience as she gets older. it was unfounded, since it wasn't as though he was favoring laura as a "daughter" over audrey, but was attracted to her from that moment onward (as we find out in laura's diary when she's eventually hired at one eyed jacks). this lack of attention and care toward her might explain why she behaves the way she does and has a tendency to seek out comfort in the arms of older men (see her attraction to cooper and that one guy she eventually gets with, jack? i think his name is?). her family despises her. not a lot of people take her seriously. she's ignored and shoved off until she enters one eyed jacks and is used as leverage as blackmail against her father, who nearly has sex with her unknowingly. it breaks her further to know that her father had a relationship with laura, that it was potentially him that could've killed her (before her real killer is revealed) all because she was going to expose his secrets rightfully. there's layers of complexity to her that people blatantly ignore because "uwu aesthetic!! she's SO lana del ray coded". i cannot tell you how many times i've perused youtube edits or amv's of twin peaks and seen audrey set to songs by lana del ray (who is a known zionist and racist). one of which being "lolita" which just makes me wanna vomit because that song misses the ENTIRE point of the novel but that's a discussion for another day. she's not two-dimensional, her struggles are just as valid as laura's and she deserves to be respected as a character. she's not a sex symbol, she's not an aesthetic, she's a girl who just wanted to be loved by her father, but ended up in the margins as he sought power and relationships with underage girls at a business he and his brother ran off to the side illegally. no one loves her, and thus she acts out, even though she doesn't want to.