#not like. the people who are just well known developers necessarily

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

also like. on the topic of pokemon development. wild as fuck changes and incredibly hectic and stressful changes to the game creating a chaotic and messy dev cycle is like, the furthest thing from new in the franchise. the thing is- gold and silver were like, delayed. they were allowed time to actually fucking finish the game, because if you look at the leaked builds the game would Not be finished at it’s planned release date. like, even more than stuff like scarlet and violet. the 1997 demos are. i mean one really cool and i am sad some of the pokemon did not make it in rip my boy koonya i hope his design is recycled for a psychic type regional Meowth form or something. but it also shows how sometimes game development can be hard as shit and drastic changes happen way more than we could ever realise. and i think if you look into gold and silvers development it makes what’s happening with the modern games a lot more understandable. these are complex games with a lot of finicky design decisions that likely have to have drastic changes done if something doesn’t work out but unlike with gold and silver they couldn’t just delay the game for two years anymore. bc they’re not “just” one of the hottest nintendo properties they are literally factually the top dog franchise in the world that rakes in so much and is so pivotal stuff like gold and silvers delays just… can’t happen anymore.

[parvulous-writings]

i was wondering if i could request some headcanons of the male romancable companions (ie: wyll, astarion, gale, halsin) w/ an affectionate/clingy reader :] thanks!!

Wyll

Wyll LOVES the affection - he's an incredibly passionate man, and adores the fact that you're as mad about him as he is about you.

He's more than happy to hold hands or link arms whenever you feel like it, offering you comfort at every turn of your adventure.

He's a little taken aback at first, when he realises how clingy you actually are, but within the same breath it's already growing on him. To know that he is wanted, loved and adored by you warms his heart, and he always makes sure to reciprocate any affection that you give him.

There are times where he tries to urge you to tone it down, few and far between, but there are times. It's usually because you're in dangerous territory and he wants to be able to leap into action at a moment's notice. He does make sure to keep you close to him when you're walking - either behind him or beside him.

Aside from that, whenever you're close to him, handholding is a must. Either that, or linked arms. He just likes knowing you're close, and knowing that it also brings you some comfort. He also LOVES to give you kisses when he can - on the cheek, the knuckle, the forehead.

At night he always pulls you close, wrapping his arms around you to nestle against you - or you, him. He doesn't mind who holds who between the sheets, so long as the two of you are together, he's happy.

"My love, your embraces are such sweet refuge from our travels... It's a damn shame I have to leave it come morning..."

Astarion

His first reaction is to tease you about how clingy you are, and he does so relentlessly. The fact that you always have that need to be near him, to hold his hand or just have a hand on him is amusing; of course he's known many people who are like that, but it never fails to make him chuckle.

He'll make little comments to you when you sneak your hand into his whilst you're on the road; "Oh? Can't bear to be away from me, I see.", and the same when you try (and ultimately fail) to sneak into his tent at night. He finds it sweet, and after a time, it deeply touches him that you still come to him, despite what he is, despite what he's done, and despite what he could do to you.

Kisses are abundant in the confines of the tent, or when the two of you are alone - he really likes kissing your collarbones, and the area where he normally bites you. He likes to lick the spot too, especially before bed.

Astarion doesn't typically go for the whole public displays of affection thing - he isn't really sure how to react to it, and dually doesn't want to reveal his more vulnerable side to the masses. He will, occasionally, pull you close to him by the waist, though, if he feels like someone is 'encroaching on what is his'.

That being said, as the relationship develops, he becomes equally as needy as you sometimes, as he gets more comfortable with his vulnerable side, and comes to understand what he wants, and what he needs to heal.

Gale

Gale has absolutely no issue with public displays of affection - but his face will likely go bright red every time. On the road he likes to walk beside you, he doesn't necessarily need to hold your hand but if you want to, he will. He does like holding your hand whilst you're eating though - don't ask him why, he'll just deflect with another question.

One way he indulges your more clingy nature is by letting you lay over his lap whilst he reads, and keeping a hand on your head or your shoulder - sometimes he'll even read aloud to you, as well, should you ask. He also likes being the big spoon whilst you both sleep!

Another bit of affection he likes to repay to you - after you smothering him in kisses all day - is to feed you. He takes quite a bit of pride in making dinner for the pair of you, and feeding it to you afterwards, just so that he can see every little reaction you have to the dish.

He won't deny that he likes having you close as well, it's almost integral to his day that he has at least some quality time with you - he's not clingy per se, but he does like some good quality time together.

Halsin

Halsin is actually flattered that you're so affectionate. He enjoys being able to hold you close, knowing that you enjoy it as much as he does. To be able to wrap his arms around you and hold you close to his chest, is a great thing for him, he enjoys it very much. He also really likes when you sneak up on him to hug him from behind - as a larger man he doesn't always get to be on the receiving end of affection.

He likes hugging you close or having you sit on his lap (or lay against him in bear form) whilst the two of you spend time out in nature. He's a big lover of time spent in each other's embrace, and he feels no shame in being what some may describe as 'overly affectionate' - though of course he is aware that there is a time and place when it comes to certain activities.

Will playfully mention about how you always yearn to be close to him, but it's never in a derogatory way; if you asked him why it wasn't derogatory, he'd simply say: "It would be wrong of me to pass judgement on you, for something I so often do myself, my love.." He's a massive softie - a big man with an even bigger heart.

He will definitely try to hug you every opportunity he has, when you're in camp together. He's also suggested a few times for him to carry you on his shoulders when you become tired from walking. "Come, my heart - it is no trouble for me.. What is troubling, however, is seeing you struggle. Put aside your pride, it is not needed here.."

[loafgeto]

BOY BEST FRIEND'S BROTHER | choso

choso kamo x fem!reader

synopsis: you and yuji are the closest in your little group of friends, but there’s one secret you haven’t told him: you have a huge crush on his eldest brother.

contents: fem!reader, 18+ mdni, explicit language, she/her pronouns, virgin reader, foreplay, dirty talking, praising, cunninglus, fingering, overstimulation, orgasms, corruption kink, protected sex → unprotected sex, pet names (baby, angel), soft/gentle choso. fluff at the end(?), not proofread!!

word count: 7.1k (longest one yet😍)

notes: reposted for the millionth time… pls, let me just feed my readers.

You’ve known Yuji ever since your first year of high school. The two of you became exceptionally close, as if you both were born in the same womb. He was like your older brother— since he was older than you, and extremely supportive and kind. Sure he enjoyed playing jokes and messing around with you, and there would be bickers between the two of you, but you both would find ways to solve your problems.

A lot of people have easily mistaken you two to be in a relationship, it was normal for the two of you. Some asked if you’ve kissed, or even fucked. Of course, none of those are true— but most assume you’re just too shy to admit.

Either way, you and Yuji don’t allow the misconceptions of others impact your relationship. It’s been roughly four years since the two of you became friends. And honestly, it’s good to say you two know each other from the back of your heads. There were never much secrets or anything hidden between the two of you.

Well, except one.

You know Yuji never forces you to tell him everything but he was always the first person you’d go to when something happened or came to your mind. It was a secret you’ve been quiet about for an entire year, and it’s gotten to the point where you’re starting to feel guilty for not telling Yuji.

It was a month before this secret of yours occurred. You were invited to Yuji’s house due to the amounts of homework assigned and you planned to stay the night. You knew Yuji had three older brothers, but you’ve only ever met two of them. His eldest brother was occasionally occupied with his job and was barely home, so you never met him until that night.

When you first met Choso, it was like the same interaction you had with his other brothers. You both shook hands and introduced each other, but he was rather reserved and didn’t necessarily want to converse much due to the workload he receives each day. You couldn’t blame Choso though, and figured he’d come around.

Well, it was more like you did.

You found yourself spending most days at Yuji’s house, especially when Choso was around. You both grew quite a bond, and Yuji was extremely happy to see his best friend get along with all of his three brothers. Choso used to return home around 10pm each weekday night, but after a couple months, he begin returning around 6pm.

This gave you more interactions with Choso, and eventually, you began developing feelings for him.

You couldn’t grasp how or when you started receiving these feelings about him. It was just— one day, you were looking at him and talking to him, unable to break your gaze while your heart raced quick. You were flustered, breaking your words and trying to remain calm. Choso never brought the fact up either, and seemed rather unaware about it.

And you were embarrassed to tell Yuji about your huge crush on his elder brother, so you just remained silent and pretended as if nothing was bothering you. Of course, Yuji often noticed your moods and always questioned what was worrying you, but you always dismiss it and claim you were just having a gloomy day.

Yuji had no reason to question you further. He was an optimistic person, who causally lightens the mood of others and makes the atmosphere more pleasant and cheery. And because Yuji perceives your relationship with his brothers as casual and friendly, he never suspected anything.

You've seen numerous situations where someone had a major crush on their best friend's sibling, and the outcome was either good, or bad. And now that you're in the situation, you anticipated on the worse outcome.

"Hello? Y/n?" Yuji taps your shoulder, causing you to snap away from your thoughts. You turn to him and he chuckles. "What are you thinking so much about?"

"Oh. Nothing, of course. I'm just dozing off easily today," you reply with a small smile. You couldn't admit to Yuji that you were day dreaming about his older brother.

"Is something bothering you? Like for real?" Yuji tilts his head, sounding genuinely concerned. He noted that this behavior has been frequent, and he worried that you were facing issues that caused you to daze away like this.

"Not really. I'm just getting small sleep, that's all. Don't worry too much," you try to reassure Yuji, and your friend nods, seeming to back off since it appeared you didn't want to talk further more about it.

"Well.. anyway, wanna have a sleepover tonight? All of my brothers are home, plus it's a three day weekend! We can all stay up and play games- oh! Or even watch an entire movie franchise- like the Hunger Games with Jennifer Lawrence!" Yuji quickly switches the topic, sounding enthusiastic as he mentions this sleepover.

Sleepovers were common between you and Yuji, and your parents even paid no mind to Yuji spending the night at your place. So, you accepted. Not only because the sleepover was going to be fun, but because Choso was going to be there too. Your heart began beating fast as the image of Choso pops in your head and you refrained yourself from smiling too much in front of Yuji.

"I'll come by around 5. Gotta pack my stuff and help mom cook rice before I leave," you inform Yuji, who nods while pulling out his phone.

"I wish Megumi and Nobara can join us, sucks that they're going out of town this weekend," Yuji sighs in disappointment.

Your other two friends- Nobara and Megumi, were often occupied with their own things. There were several times where you four had sleepovers other than hanging out, but you all still were the bests of friends. You heard that Nobara was going to another city for her weekend, while Megumi was visiting his dad a few towns outside of Tokyo.

“Come on, let’s head back to class,” Yuji says, groaning as he jumps out of the chair he was in.

Lunch period was about to end soon, so the two of you left the cafeteria and joined up with your friends that were already in the classroom. Needless to say, the rest of the school day flashed by at an instant and you were already heading home.

You were honestly too excited as you walked the entire way home with Nobara, since she lived a few streets away from you. While she was babbling about some of her shopping experiences, you were pondering about what to wear, what perfumes to bring, or whatever would get Choso’s attention. Should I wear my expensive lingerie just incase? You thought.

“You’re not even listening to me,” Nobara nudges you away from your thoughts and you turn to her with an apologetic expression.

“I’m sorry, Nobara. I’m just spacing out a lot today,” you give the same excuse, smiling awkwardly.

“You’re always spacing out,” Nobara smirks before leaning close. “You got a boy on your mind?”

Blood quickly rushes to your cheeks and you turn to her, immediately shaking your head to which she laughs.

“Hah! Yes you fucking do have a crush on someone!” Nobara’s smile grows wider as she steps closer to you. “Come on~ tell me! Who is it? I won’t tell anyone! Oh, let me guess- Yu—“

“What! No, no! No way, definitely not Yuji!” you decline quick, glaring at Nobara.

“Well that means you do like someone though.”

“I don’t.”

“Don’t lie, yes you do!” Nobara huffs, furrowing her brows as she continues to nag you about your crush. But you just didn’t answer her at all. “Come on, I won’t tell a soul. Not even Megumi!”

“Bye, Nobara. My house is this way,” you roll your eyes at her with a grin, as you quickly retreat down your street to your house.

“Y/n!! I’m going to find out!!” Nobara shouts after you.

You sigh, feeling relieved that Nobara didn’t follow you and further inquire you about your crush. Of course, it wouldn’t necessarily be bad to tell her or anyone at all, but you still felt embarrassed, let alone anxious.

For one, Nobara had a thing for Choso. Well, it wasn’t necessarily a huge fat crush, but she considered him to be quite attractive and would definitely date him. Yuji heard the statement, of course, and immediately declined her being his older brother’s girlfriend. So imagine Yuji reacting to your crush on Choso.

Well, you didn’t want to imagine it further.

Shaking those thoughts away, you quickly enter your house. You change into a set of comfortable clothes before entering the kitchen to prepare rice so that your mother would have less work to do when she arrives home. You texted your parents that you’d be staying at Yuji’s afterwards, and got to packing.

You were probably going to stay the entire weekend, so you packed enough clothes until then. You gathered your woman products, skin products and shower products and other essentials you needed. And just incase, you wore your nice and expensive lingerie.

Not that you expected anything to happen, though you were somewhat hopeful. It was easy to imagine because you’re still a virgin. And it was imaginary to have Choso be your first time. But you just couldn’t help it at all.

You left the house afterwards and made your way to the nearest bus stop to get to Yuji’s house. He lived farther away from you, though it wouldn’t hurt walking there by feet, you just decided to take the bus since it’d be easier for you.

The bus ride lasted 20 minutes and soon enough, you arrived in Yuji’s quiet and welcoming neighborhood. You didn’t know a lot about their parents, but Choso was primarily the one taking care of his siblings. He worked countless of jobs, trying to earn enough money while going to school. He honestly did everything for his younger brothers, and he was able to get them all a nice house in the neighborhood. You admired Choso for that too.

You step onto the porch, pushing your suitcase with you before pressing the doorbell. It was about 5pm, so Choso mustn't been home yet. You waited by the door for several minutes, and heard footsteps on the other side of the door.

As the door clicked and swung open, you expected to see a smiling Yuji standing there- but instead, it was Choso. Your mouth slightly dropped as you saw him. Of course, you didn't expect to greet him first.

"Oh, you're here," Choso says, stepping to the side to allow you inside. "Need me to carry your stuff?"

"Ah, no, it's fine," you give Choso a reassuring grin, feeling blood rush to your cheeks as you stepped into the house. Choso nods, closing the door afterwards and follows you into the living room. "Where's Yuji?"

"He's in the game room with Kechizu and Eso," Choso replies, watching as you push your suitcase close to one of the sofas and he returns his attention to your figure. "Do you want to try my cream puffs?"

"Cream puffs?" you turn to him, raising a brow. You notice that he was wearing an apron, long sleeves rolled past his elbows, and hair tied back into his usual two high pony tails. He wore his usual aloof expression, but when it came to you, his expression seemed to soften.

Choso nods. "Yuji told me you were sleeping over this weekend, so I decided to try making cream puffs. I've only made three so far," he replies, directing you into the kitchen.

You follow him, smiling and becoming even more excited to try the dessert he prepared. "I would love to try some."

Choso grabs a plate with three cream puffs on the top as you followed him. He turns to you, gesturing you to take one. “This is my first time making them, so tell me how they are.”

You nod, taking the cream puff in the middle. You examined the dessert for a brief moment, it looked tasty of course and for Choso’s first time making them, it was amazing already. You smile at him before taking a decent bite out of the cream puff. You could taste buttery and lightly rich flavor, especially with the pastry’s cream.

“They’re amazing, Choso! You should definitely make some more,” your eyes brighten and your smile becomes wider as you take another bite of the cream puff. Choso was initially a great cook, and anything he made would turn out perfect.

“I’m really glad you like them,” Choso couldn’t help but grin at your reaction to the pastries.

Hearing you compliment him made him feel some sort of way he couldn’t describe. Maybe it was from all of the years spent working hard to make sure his siblings got what they needed to live a happy life. He never stopped to take care of himself, or done anything in his own time since he was always working or taking care of his brothers. Choso never complained or expressed his concerns, exhaustion or anything to his brothers, due to not wanting them to worry. And they always assumed he was just fine.

Choso decided to try one of the cream puffs next, surprised at how good they actually turned out. He was definitely going to make more and share with his brothers, and you, of course. He was glad that he took time off work today.

“I’ll make some more. You can join Yuji and the others upstairs,” Choso says, placing the plate down before returning to the rest of his baking materials to create more of the pastry.

“I can help— if you want,” you offer with a smile and he turns to face you again.

Choso contemplated, but he nods his head shortly afterwards. “Sure. Just put on an apron.”

You nod before walking over to the wooden drawer beneath the kitchen counter. You pulled it out before grabbing a simple white apron with a bunny sewed onto it. After lacing it around you and washing your hands, you joined Choso’s side.

As he was beginning to demonstrate on how to combine the pieces of the cream puff, your mind quickly went somewhere else. The idea of you being alone with Choso made your heart skip beats, and you could feel your face becoming hotter as you realize how close you were to him.

It felt as if you two were on a home cooking date. It was insane to think about such things, especially if you aren’t even dating— but you couldn’t help it at all.

“It’s quite simple and easy once you get the gist of it,” Choso remarks as he finishes creating his cream puff. He then hands you the piping bag with the cream filling and gestures you to fill the choux pastry prepared beforehand.

You take the piping bag into your own hands as Choso moves to the side, observing how you moved your hands. You were becoming nervous, feeling his gaze directly on you and you were definitely going to mess up.

“You got this. There’s no need to be anxious,” Choso assures, pressing a hand against your back to relieve some tension. "Here."

Choso stands behind of you, his build completely towering over you as he places his hands over yours. You didn’t move an inch as he begins guiding your hands with the piping bag to fill the choux pastry, and you could feel his hot breath lightly brush against your ear.

You could feel your heart pounding in your eardrums and you turn your head slightly, noticing how close his face was to yours. Everything about him was just so appealing, and you wish you could just kiss him in that moment.

“Got it?” Choso questions.

“Yeah.. I got it,” you reply with a nod as Choso removes his hands away from yours, but he still remained standing behind you as you picked up the cream puff that was just made.

You took a bite out of it, not noticing Choso was still there and turn around. “Choso?”

Choso tilts his head, noticing how some of the cream got on the side of your mouth. “You got some on your mouth,” he says and lifts his hand, using his thumb to brush off the cream. The gesture was completely unexpected and you swore your heart could leap out of your chest.

He was still so close to you, and you refrained from making any awkward or flustered expressions as he licks the cream off his thumb. You both stare at each other for a brief moment after that, not speaking until Choso initiates a step closer to you.

“Y/n, there’s something I want to ask you,” Choso begins and he reaches for your hand.

At that moment, alarms went off in your head and you’re internally panicking. This was one of the moments you’ve been dreaming of and waiting for, but you don’t even know how to react properly. You open your mouth, about to respond as he was leaning forward to grab your hand.

“Do you-“ Choso starts to say, but he was completely cut off when someone rushes down the stairs.

“Big bro, is Y/n here—?!” Yuji’s voice echoes from the stairs. Your eyes widen slightly as you drop the cream puff from your hand and quickly push Choso away when Yuji steps into the kitchen. “yet— oh, you are here! When did you get here?!”

You give Yuji a bright smile as you walk past Choso, patting your hands against your apron. “Been here for a little bit. Just decided to help Choso make some cream puffs, since you were busy playing video games,” you reply, furrowing your brows at Yuji.

Yuji slaps his hands together and slightly lowers his head. “Sorry, forgive me!”

“It’s fine. I got to eat some cream puffs though!”

“Whaat, big bro, are you still making some?!” Yuji asks, tilting his head to look at Choso who was picking up the cream puff you dropped.

“Yeah,” Choso nods, not giving you or Yuji a look before facing his back against the two of you. “I’ll make some more. You guys go have fun.”

“Great!” Yuji excitedly replies before returning his gaze back to you. “Come on, come on. Kechizu just got a new multiplayer game for all of us to try and play! We need a fourth player!”

You give Yuji a nod before he starts walking out of the kitchen. You remove the apron from your body and glance at Choso, who still had his back facing against you. You didn’t want to blame Yuji for ruining the moment, but you were curious on why Choso acted like that.

Well, it wasn’t like you could inquire about it since Yuji came back to drag you away. But it remained occupied in your head as you joined Yuji and his other two brothers in their video game.

Choso shortly joined after, bringing along a small plate of at least 10 cream puffs. He didn’t utter anything and just quietly sat on one of the bean bags while you, Yuji, Eso, and Kechizu all bickered loudly over the video game.

You glanced at him occasionally, and he had that same aloof expression while watching the four of you. The two of you would make short eye contact, but you’d always be the one to break away first. You felt flustered— embarrassed, especially because that moment in the kitchen earlier remained in your mind.

For the remainder of the evening, you avoided long eye contact with Choso. The atmosphere continued to be cheery, as Yuji and his other brothers were lightening the mood with their loud voices and enthusiasm. It got you distracted for a while.

When dinner time came around, Yuji suggested takeout instead so Choso didn’t have to cook, and Kechizu ordered a large family takeout platter from a local Japanese restaurant. You ended sitting next to Choso while you all were dining, and it was somewhat awkward. But you and Choso didn’t make it obvious, so there were no further complications.

Afterwards, the five of you gathered by the large TV in Yuji’s room and watched one of the Hunger Games movies— because Yuji wanted to. It was boring, since you’ve all seen the series countless of times but Yuji would never get bored of it.

And shortly enough, you all fall into a deep slumber.

It was late into the night now, and you happen to wake up several hours after everyone else had fallen asleep. The entire house was quiet, and you could hear the faint sounds of everyone sleeping, minus Eso’s snores.

You adjusted your eyes to the darkness around you, before getting up slowly. You were lying on Yuji's bed while Yuji was on the other side, hands and legs sprawled out. Kechizu and Eso were sleeping on Yuji's couch by the TV, and Choso was sleeping while sitting up on one of the bean bags.

Ignoring your thoughts, you close your eyes in order to return to sleep. But no matter what, you just couldn’t. After tossing and turning to find a comfortable position, you decided to get up for a glass of water.

You leave Yuji’s bed and slip out the room and quietly walk down the stairs. You read the clock by the door, and it was about 2:30 in the morning. You enter the kitchen, walking towards the fridge and opening it before grabbing a cold water bottle.

The image of Choso popped in your head again, and you could only let out a sigh. Who knew what was going to happen now? Was it going to be awkward— or would you two act as if nothing’s happened? You quickly open the lid of the bottle before gulping down half of the liquid. You figured if you didn’t act awkward, and as if nothing happened, then the two of you would be fine.

“Y/n?”

Choso calling out to you immediately causes you to jump slightly from your spot, and you turn to him with a surprised expression before glaring. “Please don’t scare me like that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Choso replies, stepping further into the kitchen. Even though it was dark, you could still see his silhouette and as he went closer, you were able to see his face. “Can’t sleep?”

You shake your head, putting the water bottle in your hand down on the kitchen counter. “I guess I’m still energetic from earlier— when we were playing the games,” you reply a lie, not wanting to admit that he was the reason why you couldn’t sleep.

Choso went silent for a moment, until he approached you closer. “Can we talk about what happened before that?”

“H-Huh? Before that?”

“I wanted to ask you something,” Choso continues, now standing directly in front of you. His dark eyes pierced into yours, and your heart rate began pacing fast again. “Y/n, how do you feel about me?”

“I..” it took you several moments to even utter something, as you were completely astonished from his blunt question. He was so close to you, watching how you reacted while desperately waiting for an answer. But before you could even continue your answer, Choso sighs softly.

“I didn’t mean to put you in an awkward position. You don’t have to answer my question if you aren’t comfortable,” Choso starts backing away, lifting an hand to awkwardly rub the back of his neck. “Just forget I asked and we can just act as if nothing happened.”

Choso turns around, starting to walk out. You’re uncertain of what to do, but your body responds before your brain could and you follow him. You quickly wrap your arms around his waist and press your face against his broad back.

“I like you, Choso,” you murmur, but enough for him to hear clearly.

There was a brief pause before Choso turns around to face you. At that moment, you couldn’t describe how you felt— you were just all over the place since you basically confessed. His eyes were slightly wide, but he looked relieved and a smile forms on his lips.

Choso doesn’t reply and only pulls you forward in order to press his lips against yours. With no hesitation, you return the kiss as your hands grip his shirt. The moment was surreal, and even it if was just a dream, you wanted to feel the moment.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to kiss you,” Choso speaks once he pulls away, keeping his lips near yours. “Been waiting too long.”

“Me too.. Been wanting you ever since we met, Choso,” you reply, nearly unable to meet his gaze until he kisses you once again.

“I’ve been bad. So fucking bad,” Choso continues as he pulls away again, gently pushing you back against the wall before smashing his lips onto yours more passionately. You let out a soft moan into his mouth as you feel his body press against yours. Choso places a hand on your hip, while the other moves to hold your jaw. He pulls away again, “I was always thinking about you. Always thinking about how I could make you mine. I even changed my shifts so that I can come home early to see you whenever you visited.”

“C-Choso..”

You pull Choso back to kiss him again, sparing him no time to continue rambling about his feelings but it was very much mutual. The moment was tensed with passion, and you both quickly became addicted to one another.

Choso moves his lips to your cheek, down to pepper kisses on your jaw and then along your neck. You bite your lower lip, unable to refrain the arousal you were receiving from him.

“W-Want you s’bad.. Choso..” you mutter with a short whimper, a hand going up to grasp his hair that was becoming loose. “Have always wanted to feel your kisses.. and your touch.”

Choso grits his teeth. Goodness, you were too cute. He still honestly couldn’t believe that you reciprocated his feelings. You were always with Yuji, laughing snd smiling— always having a good time. Choso, like many others, found it easy to believe that you were infatuated with Yuji.

“Damn it. You make me want to ruin you,” Choso quietly says before he gently takes your hands into his. “Come on.”

He leads you back up the stairs and pass Yuji’s room, where everyone else remains dead asleep, and quietly into his room down the hall. When you both enter inside, he quickly shuts the door before pulling you close for a deep kiss.

The room was filled with the soft sounds of your kissing and muffled noises, and Choso couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you. He walks you back towards his bed and pushes you down, lips still against yours.

You tug Choso’s shirt as his body hovers over you. He was showering you with kisses all over your face and body, touching you like how you’ve always imagined him doing. “Fuck.. touch me more,” you coo as Choso moves to kiss your jaw.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” Choso asks, brushing his hand over your thigh.

“I-I don’t know.. everywhere-“ you reply, quite uncertain. You were practically new to this but no matter where Choso touched, he was able to pleasure you either way.

“You have to be more specific so I don’t make you uncomfortable,” Choso frowns slightly, lessening his touch on your inner thigh which makes you squirm. He acknowledged that you were inexperienced and timid, but he remained patient. “Do you want to show me instead?”

You nod, guiding his hand near your inner thighs. He understood quite frankly, seeing how much of a mess you already were under him. Choso gives you another kiss, but on the forehead before rubbing his hand against your inner thigh, causing you to tremble slightly.

It all was causing you to soak your panties, and you guide Choso’s hand that was on your thigh underneath the shorts you were wearing. You had no idea what came over you, but at that moment, it didn’t matter. Even Choso was surprised with your gesture but he didn’t stop.

You felt the tip of Choso’s fingers rub against your wet folds and you moan softly as a response. “You’re so wet..” Choso comments quietly, proceeding to rub two of his fingers against you before pushing them in.

The sensation of his fingers spreading you causes you to gasp and you return your hand to grip his shirt. Choso doesn’t move his fingers, instead he waits for you to adjust to them.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asks next but you quickly shake your head.

“K-Keep going..” you murmur, and Choso could feel your walls clench around his two fingers.

Choso could feel blood rush to his already hardened dick, and he starts pumping his fingers in an out of you at steady pace. He was still able to receive soft moans from you, and you held him close as he gradually starts increasing his pace.

Shortly after, he slips off your shorts and underwear, spreading your legs apart to thrust his fingers deeper. You hold back your louder moans, as it was still late into the night and you can’t wake the others up.

Choso peppers kisses against your chest before moving down for your crotch area. He gives you a glance and you nod before he latches his mouth against your clit and slowly began moving the same fingers in and out of you. Your moans start to penetrate through your sealed lips, and your hand grips Choso’s hair.

His circles his tongue around your clit slowly and lazily, and curled his fingers to rub your g-spot. “Always thinking about this pussy. So, so beautiful,” he comments.

You moan as a response, indicating that he was pleasuring you too well. You have never felt his sensation before, but you knew damn well that it was addicting. You were practically craving for more now that you know the feeling, especially from Choso. The way your body reacted to his touch caused him to increase his pace, and his eyes raise to meet yours as he fucks your pussy with his mouth and fingers.

“Ohh, fuck yes. That feels- s’good,” your voice breaks at how deep and fast his fingers thrusts into you, making your back arch. It felt so different from your own fingers and you were quickly reaching your orgasm.

“You close, baby?” Choso questions, pulling his lips away but still thrusting his fingers. You give him a nod, being unable to properly respond with words. His lips meets yours once again, and the two of you share a rough, passionate kiss.

Choso’s fingers began thrusting quicker, to the point the wet squelching noises of your pussy began resonating the room. He covers your mouth with his as your moans kept coming out and he knew you were reaching your high.

He pulls away, going back down to flick his tongue against your clit. At that moment, the two of you couldn’t care less at who was hearing you. Both of your hands grip the bed sheet as you release over his mouth and fingers, a loud mewl following after.

Choso licks his mouth clean, before licking the other wet areas of your body where you cum got on. He kisses you, pressing his tongue against yours and you two share a sloppy kiss before he leans back to stand up. He was so goddamn hard, and you could even see the tent in his pants. Choso was so pussy drunk, and so desperately wanting to shove his cock into your virgin pussy.

“Please.. Choso..” you whimper, spreading your legs wider for him. “I need your cock in me..”

Something snapped in Choso as you said that and he couldn’t wait any longer now— seeing how your pussy was waiting for him. Choso pushes his pants and boxers down, freeing his throbbing hard cock. Your eyes watch as he pumps his dick a few times with pre-cum leaking out and he leans over to open a drawer next to his bed.

He grabs a condom kept inside and quickly opens it, slipping it on his cock. “This okay, baby? Are you ready?” he asks and you only nod again before he aligns himself against your wet entrance.

Your lips tremble as you feel the tip of Choso’s cock push into you slowly. It felt weird, and your reaction immediately causes him to stop moving. “Are you uncomfortable?” he asks again.

“N-No.. I’m okay,” you reassure, grabbing his forearms that were propping your thighs. His tip was already stretching you out, and you couldn’t imagine his entire length in you just yet.

Choso nods before slowly pushing his cock in all the way. You both let out a gasp, and Choso could feel your tight walls clenching so hard around him. It hurt, and you could feel tears reaching your eyes. He starts rocking his hips sensually, allowing you to adjust to him and the feeling.

“You okay?” Choso asks again, leaning down to kiss your cheek. He notices your welled tears, wiping away the ones that were poking out.

“Y-Yes..” you reply as your hands interlock with his, feeling his cock rub your walls so well. “It hurts..”

“I know, baby. Do you want me to stop?” Choso whispers, kissing away your tears that streamed down the side of your face.

“No, no. It’s okay. It feels good too..” You shake your head, eyes shutting as you adjust yourself to the feeling. “Faster..”

Choso was quite appalled but he didn’t decline your request. He starts thrusting faster, moving your hands over your head and grunting lowly at your tightness. It aroused Choso to know that he was the first, your first and how you practically wanted him to be the first.

Your moans fall out each thrust he gives, and his pace starts fastening as you wrap your legs around his waist. Choso was so deep into you, wrecking your walls and turning you into a sex lover. You never thought it would feel this great, and you understood why so many people were addicted to it. Choso then kept his mouth on yours as he fucked you faster, balls slapping against your pussy and you could feel him drill his cock deeper and deeper.

"Mmh- fuck!" you mewl out as Choso pulls his lips away, pounding you in the position.

"I knew I'd love this pussy of yours," Choso grunts, pulling his cock out before guiding your body over so that you'd lay on your belly. He places his hands on your hips, pushing them back against his and sliding back into your aching hole.

"S-So deep!" you cry out, feeling his entire length sink deeper into your pussy.

Choso grips onto your hips as he thrusts his cock quickly into you, his hips slamming against your ass cheeks. You bury your face in the sheets of his bed, refraining your erotic moans to echo the entire room. But it just felt too good- his cock and this position that allowed his cock to make him feel so fucking deep in you.

You throw your head back slightly as your hands move underneath your chest to prop up. Choso leans forward, eyes nearly shutting because of how good your pussy felt around him. He was nearly reaching his orgasm and he knew you were close again too.

"'m so close- Choso!" you utter through your moans, more pleasured tears rolling down your cheeks.

"Me too, angel. Fuck," Choso groans, groping your ass to the point his hands could leave a print.

A knot forms in your stomach when Choso's cock rubs against your g-spot each deepening thrust and your head drops to the mattress as your moans uncontrollably escape your mouth and bounce off the walls of his room.

"Baby- shit. You gotta lower your voice," Choso reminds, groaning as your pussy clenches his cock again.

"I-I know.. But I can't.." you reply, covering your mouth with a hand.

Honestly, Choso found it slightly amusing, yet cute about how you were trying to keep quiet but couldn't. And even though he was the one to tell you to lower your voice, he wanted to pound into you faster, and deeper- and make more moans escape past your pretty lips.

“C-Cumming..” you utter beneath your hand covering your mouth, and Choso hastily slips his cock as you came all over him.

You’ve never came this much before— it was appalling to see how much you can cum. Your mind was dizzying and fogging up, and you could feel Choso pull his cock out. He was panting heavily, hands still holding your hips before he uses one to slip off the condom filled with his cum.

Yet, he was still hard.

“Again,” you say, turning yourself around and pulling him close by placing your hands on his nape. “Wanna ride you, Choso..”

Choso didn’t expect you to want to keep going, but he couldn’t resist the urge of wanting to see you ride him. After you situate yourself on Choso’s lap with his guide, he rests your hands on his shoulders. You bite your lower lip, quite conflicted because you didn’t even know how to ride a dick properly.

“Don’t worry. I’ll guide you,” Choso reassures, caressing the side of your face before leaning towards the drawer to grab another condom.

But you stop him and shake your head. “No protection.. it’s okay.”

Choso raises a brow. “You sure, baby? It’s risky without it.”

“It’s okay.. promise. I trust you.”

Choso’s heart ached at the way you softly spoke of how you trust him, and he nods his head before returning his hands to the side of your hips. He props you up with his strength before pressing the tip of his cock at the entrance of your swollen pussy.

He gives you a final look before guiding your body down, and his raw cock pushes pass your folds. You both moan in unison as Choso’s entire length fits into you perfectly. The bare skin of his cock in you was entirely different from when the condom was on, and Choso could also feel how different your insides were.

Choso starts guiding your hips up and down on his cock, and you’re both moaning, staring at each other with affection and lust. Your grip on Choso’s shoulders tighten as he indirectly allows you to bounce by yourself, allowing you to experience.

You’re on your heels as you bounce on his throbbing cock, moaning and mumbling his name as you’re clenching him whenever you slide your hips upward. Choso’s watching intently, low grunts increasing as he feels your pussy taking him just as he’s always imagined.

“You’re doing so fucking good, angel. Fuck- keep riding me like that,” Choso praises, his head leaning back as you start bouncing faster. You’re literally uncertain whether or not you’re moving correctly, but with the guide of Choso’s hands and his reaction, you assumed you were doing good.

You could feel the tip of his cock smack the entrance of your womb whenever you sink his entire length deeper into you, and you’re looking at him for more direction since you still clearly didn’t know what else to do. Choso used his hands to guide your hips to grind forward on his dick, and he looks at you.

“Just like this, baby.”

You take what Choso guided you to do in mind and then action, seemingly noting that he enjoyed those certain movements. Now, he’s the one moaning louder, whimpering lowly and muttering how amazing your pussy was.

He initially starts lunging his hips up as your bounces on his cock become more erratic, and he cups your ass. “C-Choso! Your cock- feels so, so good,” you could only utter as your legs start trembling, and you’re barely unable to keep yourself up.

“Yeah? I’m all yours now, baby- I’ll give this cock to you whenever and wherever you want,” Choso groans, gently tightening his grip on your ass as he starts controlling his thrusts up into you again. “Fuck- let me be your boyfriend. Please, angel.”

“Yes, yes, yes!” you nod your head, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close for a deep kiss.

Before Choso could reach his final orgasm, he quickly pulls you off him and his cum shoots all over the floor of his room. You both pull away from the kiss, panting heavier and fall back against the bed.

Choso stares up at his ceiling, taking in what just happened. Hearing your pacing heartbeat and heavy pants, he lifts a hand to gently rub your back.

“You okay?” he inquires.

“Mhm..” you reply, snuggling yourself close to him.

Choso chuckles softly, more elated with the fact that you were now his, and he was yours. He’s never necessarily been in an official relationship, besides from the experiences of blind dates or one night stands. He’s met a few nice girls, but he wasn’t into them the way he was into you. When he first met you, he was originally happy to know that his younger brother had a good friend. But as you often came around, he started to notice the little things about you. And one day, he just discovered how deeply he was falling for you.

He was always occupied with his job and taking care of his siblings that he subsequently forgot about his own health and care. But you were there— making sure he had his dinners, chatting with him about his day, making Yuji and the other two help clean up the house so he didn’t have to. And in order to see you often, Choso started sending in requests about changing his schedule to the main office. It took a few months, but with how diligently he worked, he was granted the schedule change. And he was so grateful, because it allowed him to spend more time with you— even if you were there for Yuji.

But now, he knows your feelings for him and it was all that mattered. Tonight, and possibly for the rest of his life, he’s the happiest man in the world.

LOAF4U. thank you for reading! please do not copy my work or publish in another media without my permission.

[daysofyellowroses]

chocolate

carmen berzatto x reader | 2.8k | 99% pure fluff nonsense | tw: pregnancy, very much implied smut, language

Being pregnant is stressful, a lot of the time. It's a natural feeling, it's not easy growing a literal human in your body.

However, you had thought that because you'd done the whole pregnancy/labor thing before, the second time around would be a breeze.

Honestly you didn't know what you were thinking, if anything the second time was even more stressful, mainly due to circumstances beyond your control.

Funnily enough, the second time was actually planned, well..in a way it was.

But to get to the second time, there has to be a first time, and that first time was..a lot. Certainly not planned. Not unwanted, but not planned. Kind of like your relationship.

You'd known Carmy for a long time, longer than you could really remember. He was just someone you knew, not necessarily a friend but not a stranger. Just someone who drifted in the same orbit as you.

It was only when he took over at the Beef that you got to know him properly. You had been working there for almost two years at that point, mainly working the counter with Richie, developing a sibling-like relationship with him. It wasn't the best job in the world, and you often felt yourself looking out the window and wondering if there was something more out there or if the grass was greener on the other side.

Then Carmy came back into your orbit, and at first it was curiosity that kept you there, wondering what he would do with the place. You didn't speak to him more or less than anyone else, but it was pretty basic chat or professional, depending.

Syd always says she saw a spark right away, and you like to believe it. You had always thought he was cute, and seeing him in his element, doing his thing..it did make him more attractive.

You weren't sure how a relationship even developed, there were always other people around, you didn't exactly flirt, and you weren't openly advertising your single status. But..things happen for a reason, right?

One night, you had to take a call after work, when you came back inside everyone but Carmy had left. You had offered to help him finish cleaning, he had insisted you didn't need to, but you could if you wanted.

Taking it as an invitation, you rolled up your sleeves and grabbed a sponge. God only knows what you had talked about, if you had talked at all, but you enjoyed his company. After that, it became common practice that you would stay after work to help clean. More and more you would sit on a counter and tell Carmy stories from your past while he cleaned, or as you later realized, pretended to keep cleaning if he finished before your story ended.

It took a while before you could get Carmy to tell you stories, he wasn't one to brag about himself or his accomplishments. Still, you managed to get the stories out of him slowly, and found yourself increasingly attracted to him. You noticed he didn't mention much about his family or friends, and you didn't push the matter.

Then, one night he mentioned Mikey in a story, then stopped himself like he'd said something wrong. You had encouraged him to keep talking, sharing some of your own memories of Mikey. He laughed when you told one story, and you desperately wanted to kiss him.

It took another two weeks before you finally plucked up the courage, figuring the worst thing that could happen was he wouldn't kiss you back, you would hand in your notice and forget the whole ordeal.

But it turned out your attraction was not one sided, as you found yourself pressed up against the fridge with Carmy's hands holding your arms up above your head as he gave you a kiss you still feel when you think about it.

After that, you tried to keep things on the down low, which lasted for approximately two days, when Richie walked in on you sitting on Carmy's desk, legs wrapped around the chef's waist as you made out like teenagers. It was a new record for gossip spreading, and despite some initial teasing everyone was happy for you both.

It wasn't the smoothest of sailing in the early weeks, or months, when the renovations started. Everyone was stressed, particularly Carmy and Syd. You understood that the weight was on their shoulders, and did what you could to be a support. If some of that support included being a taster for the chefs new dishes, that was just a bonus.

There were, of course, other ways you could relieve some of Carmy's stress. It makes you laugh now that you were trying to take away stress and pressure and gave yourselves even more, because of course you did.

It wasn't like you were going at it constantly, you were both often exhausted or crabby or fed up which didn't create the best atmosphere but when you were both in the mood..it was the best sex of your relationship, it could be in the car, against a half built wall in the restaurant, or occasionally, actually in your own bed.

You liked to think that was where your daughter was conceived, in her parents bed and not in the bathroom stall of some dingy bar (the beer was supposed to be the thing that blew off steam, but when you'd been washing your hands in the bathroom and spotted Carm in the mirror standing behind you with a slight smirk you'd pulled him into a stall and that was that)

It was inevitable really, with the stress of the restaurant making you forget to do basic shit like taking your contraception, and a partner constantly on the verge of a heart/panic attack at any moment wasn't exactly great at remembering to remind you.

So, after a couple of mornings of being unable to get out of bed from feeling so violently sick, you gave in and went to the doctor. It shouldn't have been a shock, but it was. It was something that you had thought about occasionally, had casually discussed with Carmy, but in a kind of ‘in the future, maybe’ way.

You didn't tell him right away. The restaurant was about to open, that needed to be properly celebrated. When the opening night finally came, it turned out to be exactly the right time.

Carmy getting locked in the walk-in had not been what you'd expected, but you just had to laugh at how absurd it was. When you were driving home, your head on his shoulder and his hand on your thigh, you told him. It came out before you could stop yourself, hanging in the air for a moment.

“You're serious?”

Not the response you'd expected.

“Of course I'm serious.”

“Okay.”

The rest of the ride home was in silence, one that felt suffocating.

When you woke up the next morning, it was to Carmy's hand on your stomach.

“We're gonna be parents. Like..there's gonna be a kid running around and it's going to be ours.”

“Yeah,” You'd nodded, placing your hand on his and meeting his eyes. “Pretty fucking terrifying, right?”

“Absolutely.”

He'd broken into a grin after a moment, and you felt a relief flood you.

That all seems so long ago now.

Your daughter, Gracie Natalie Berzatto, was already three, you couldn't believe it when you were picking out her birthday card. Her current obsession was Bluey, which had become a bit of an obsession for you and Carm too, it was so weirdly relaxing. Sometimes the two of you watched episodes after work, someone's head in the other's lap.

Sometimes it hit you, like standing in the supermarket with ten million different Bluey birthday cards in front of you and just trying to find one with a ‘3’ on it, that you had come so far from sitting in the car in suffocating silence.

From the moment she was born, Gracie and Carmy were inseparable. He was a natural at being a father, even if he always worried he was doing it wrong.

You always brought her to the restaurant after kindergarten when Carm had had a panic about forgetting the fruit in her lunch or not being able to plait her hair. Everyone doted on her, she would be glued to Tina’s hip while Richie made her laugh and Marcus got a special donut just for her.

You would have a coffee with Syd and watch hope Carmy could see what really mattered.

It was at, well..after Gracie’s 3rd birthday party that the whole thing would be set in motion again. The day had been amazing, much to your relief. Of course, the food was incredible, and you had cried when Marcus showed you the birthday cake, a perfect replica of Bluey in cake form. Of course, there were too many presents, but you were touched that people made such a fuss. When Jimmy had turned up with the biggest Barbie dream house you'd ever seen, you'd told him it was his fault if Gracie turned into a spoilt brat, giving him a tight hug.

When it was all over, and it was you and Carm laying on the couch surrounded by wrapping paper, crinkled paper plates and half full trash bags, you had felt a surge of love in your chest.

“We're alright at this, right?”

“Yeah, we're alright.”

You had turned to rest your head on his chest, looking up at him and knowing you couldn't imagine a better life. You didn't know what he was thinking, you never could read his mind. Whatever was in that bear cave, it caused him to smile and slowly tilt your head up for a kiss.

At first it was just a comfortable, lazy makeout session, hands slowly wandering. Then at some point it was like an unspoken question. You were taking a break from your current pill, looking into new options. There were condoms upstairs in the nightstand but neither of you went to get them.

So it wasn't a shock to discover it was round two.

Gracie seemed to understand what was happening when you explained it to her, excited that she would have her own Bingo to play with.

The pregnancy itself was relatively smooth, it had been much harder with Gracie. But then, labor with her has been weirdly smooth. Uncomfortable as hell but then they gave you the good stuff and next thing you knew there was a baby being placed in your arms.

It was the opposite with the second labor. You should have known, the pregnancy had been too smooth sailing. It was all planned, you had your due date, your hospital bag, an amazing midwife, it would be done properly.

Ah, the days when you still believed, even after having already had a baby, that labor could be perfect.

God bless delusion.

It was a week before your due date that everything went to shit.

Carmy had gone to sort out something or other for the restaurant, now that you were on maternity leave you had blocked out restaurant chat unless you were actually in the restaurant to see the staff/stuff your face. You had dropped by the Bear for a catch up, Gracie was at your mom's house and you were just having some time to yourself. It was a couple of hours before opening, a time you always enjoyed.

You were chatting to Syd and snacking on some carrot sticks she was cutting and sliding over to you when you felt a sharp pain in your stomach, brushing it off.

When it happened again, your stomach dropped as you looked down to the floor, a clear puddle pooling around your feet.

“That's..that's not hygienic,” Syd muttered, her eyes going wide as she looked back up at you. “Wait, shit, is this happening now?!”

You went to reply, letting out a groan as a contraction hit you, grabbing the side of the bench.

“Okay, we can do this,” Syd took your arm and led you into the office, helping you into the chair. “We can totally do this, we can do this.”

You took some deep breaths, gripping the arm of the chair. From outside you could hear Richie shouting something before he let out a yell.

“Fuck! I slipped in fucking piss!”

There was a burst of laughter and you gripped the chair harder, looking up and watching Syd pace back and forth, one hand on her forehead, the other on her waist.

“Richie, get in here!” You called, trying to stand up and being unable to. “Anyone, get in here, please!”

A moment later, Tina and a disgruntled Richie appeared at the door.

“Okay,” You breathed, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. “Can one of you help Syd calm down, and one of you..fuck!” You clutched your stomach, leaning forward. Tina rushed over to you, while Richie patted Syd on the back.

“Someone call Carm, please,” You muttered, taking Tina's hand. “And maybe an ambulance.”

There was a flurry of activity, and you found yourself alone in the office, wanting to cry.

“Hey, have you seen..”

You looked up as you heard Fak’s voice, wanting to cry with relief as he walked into the office with a confused look.

“Why does it smell like piss in here?”

Because life is ridiculous, it decided to conspire against you on that day. Richie couldn't get through to Carmy, the ambulance was going to be delayed because of a major collision, and your baby was starting to crown on the floor in the office in the fucking Bear.

You had managed to maneuver your way onto the floor with Fak's help, his panicked ramblings feeling oddly comforting. Syd had managed to calm down and came to hold your hand. Between her and Fak rambling about how everything was going to be fine, you wanted to believe.

Outside the office seemed to be just as chaotic, thanks to Richie leaving endless panicked voicemails for Carm, Tina yelling orders at everyone, and your broken waters just lingering on the floor.

“Okay,” Richie appeared in the doorway. “Cousin is either dead or his phone is, still no ambulance, and my suit is ruined.”

“Big picture, Richie,” Sydney gestured to you. “I don't think we have time for an ambulance..”

“How do you know? Did you..look?” Richie asked.

“Of course not,” Sydney frowned. “But..I presume. You've got a kid, you look.”

“I'm not looking, she's family,” Richie protested. “Tina, come check if the baby's coming out!”

“Oh my god,” You cried. “Will someone please just put their head between my fucking legs?”

There was a silence for a moment before laughter filled the air, yours included. It felt like everything would be okay in that moment, even when it was all going to shit.

Tina checked, and confirmed that it wasn't coming out, but it was close.

Closer than expected, it wasn't long after you were screaming and probably breaking Syd and Fak’s hands. By some stroke of luck, Carm got back to the restaurant just as your baby was coming out, which was a lot to process.

You didn't actually know who wrapped the baby in a towel and handed him to you but you didn't care, he was out.

You got the hospital eventually, everything was a blur once you had a baby in your arms. Vague memories of people coming in and out of the room, fussing over you and the baby.

The clearest memory is Carm bringing Gracie in to meet her brother. She didn't say much, just watched him with fascination. Carm asked her if the baby should be named Bingo, tickling her.

She laughed and shook her head, and you felt another surge of deep love.

When the time did come to sign the birth certificate, you put the suggestion out there, gently, to name your son after his uncle. You could tell Carm was touched but it felt too raw.

So you consulted the head of the family for her opinion, and Mackenzie Michael Berzatto it was.

“I can't believe you gave birth in the restaurant,” Carmen murmured softly, laying beside you on the bed, Gracie asleep on his chest, Mackenzie asleep on yours. “On the floor. Dirty hippy.”

“I can't believe you basically missed the birth of your first son. Call yourself Italian do you?”

“Did cousin really slip on your piss?”

“It was not piss,” You rolled your eyes with a grin, gently stroking Mackensie's head. “It was amniotic fluid.”

“Oh,” Carmen nodded. “Why..why does that sound more gross?”

“Because scientific terms are gross,” You yawned, leaning back on the pillow and looking over to Carmy. “I really love you, Carm.”

“I know,” Carmy nodded, looking over to you with a smile. “I really love you too. You've given me all this.”

“You helped, a little,” You smiled, sitting up a little and letting out a content sign when he leaned in to give you a kiss, pulling back with a smile.

“Now what?”

“Now..we don't fuck it up.”

“Yes chef.”

—

a couple of notes I had in my mind while writing this but didn't actually put into the story:

- Gracie is actually called Grace, but she will forever and always be called Gracie

- She also has everyone wrapped around her little finger

- Eva is basically her big sister

- Sugar was incredibly moved by the choice of middle name, insisted you didn't have to but loved it

- Syd and Tina are Gracie's godmothers. Tina had cried when you asked, Syd wasn't sure at first like..what does a godmother even do? But she loves it. Neither you or Carm are super religious but it just felt like a nice thing to do. Richie and Fak were chosen as godfathers. Yes, they were insufferable

- Sugar cried when you told her Mackensie's middle name, you told her it was Carm's choice, which you knew it was

- You're still working on who Mackensie's godparents should be, Richie and Fak are already fighting about being the only godfather. You and Carmy are leaning towards Marcus and Pete.

[hollowingearth]

I'm sorry but the more I think about the Rebirth ending the more I love it actually like. The whole trilogy has been a meta commentary of sorts and, specially, Aerith's death is at the epicenter of it. She both dies and doesn't die exactly because us, as an audience, want both things to happen.

People have been clamoring to be able to save Aerith since 1997, there were fake hidden hacks, AU fictions, retellings, everything. Everyone has been at Squeenix's doorsteps begging them to let us save her. Like, it's at a point where the "Square will let us save Aerith if you pay for the DLC" joke is much more than a decade old.

On the other side, there's this very expressive unwant for any change whatsoever from the source material. It's not a feeling that is exclusive to FF7 either, there's this very clear pushback against any new remake/adaptation that deviates, even slightly, from it's original. People don't want new content, they want the old one they experienced when they were younger, but prettier, they want to both feel the nostalgia and experience everything as if for the first time again.

From that camp, I think the most prominent argument is that FF7 is about loss, right? And they're not wrong. Aerith's death is the crux of the story, it's the very thing that made FF7 as known as it is, there would be no actual weight to what it's trying to tell if the heroine doesn't die in the middle of it, an unexpected, hurtful, avoidable death. What's the point of a narrative about grief if you can just... avoid losing someone? Avoid having it be cruelly taken from you?

And yet, you see, if want someone to die, if you want something to be taken from you, are you really losing it? In the original, part of the impact was that no one could see it coming, it was a straight representation about how death is sudden and takes away opportunity from you. Aerith doesn't go into the sleeping forest willing to make a sacrifice for the greater good, she has barely started her adventure, she makes a promise to go on the highwind, the group is one location away from finding out more about her ancestry and her family.

That's not true for the remake, tho. Everyone knows about her fate, about what is going to happen to her. That's probably the most spoiled moment in video game history. I personally knew about her death before I truly understood what Final Fantasy even was. So now we have an audience that is extremely aware of what, when and how her death is going to happen. That's why the Confluence of Worlds is put at that moment, because it's the single most expected moment in the entire triology, it's the one moment that made the narrative resonate so well.

The impact is impossible to recreate now, even for newer fans of the series. People want a 1:1 retranslation but such a thing would always be a gimmicky shadow of it's original. It's why the focus shifts, now the most emotionally impactful scene is not the killing of her but of her goodbye, in the church after the dream date. "Thank you," Aerith echoes "It's been fun", a callback to her conclusion on Remake where she says "I'm grateful for all the words we shared. All the moments and the memories. You've made me more happy than you know."

So she dies and she doesn't, both at the same time. Effectively in limbo now, narratively explained by lifestream shenaningans. We put her there ourselves, by refusing to move on, refusing to accept her death but also refusing to change, allowing a different outcome. I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing, at least, Aerith's words sound like the very sincere feelings of the developers, who are grateful for all the love we all have powered into their work all these years.

I just love it so much, I could spend hours talking about it.

[celestialtarot11]

Synastry that was difficult + my two cents 🌙💌

Hi friends! I decided to make a different post about synastry I felt was uncomfortable, but of course I want to offer an in depth discussion of it. Feel free to like, comment and reblog 💖

Venus in the 8th house 🌷🍵- With this synastry I felt intertwined and connected on a soul level. But the transformation started, as known with the 8th house it has the ability to transform wounds that need healing. Alchemy, essentially. Transmuting energies. I’ve noticed whilst this synastry can create an everlasting bond, it is tested a lot. Whether that’s through influence from third parties (family, friends, exes) or the two in the connection go through mental challenges. There’s a theme of outsiders wanting to get into the connection. When we weren’t able to heal and come together properly it ended in separation, or no contact. However long we needed. But when we did return, we returned wiser and resilient. We shared 12h synastry as well, denoting physical distance, and soon that turned to be an issue with developing the connection into reality. Things took a left turn when it couldn’t develop properly, and it ended in jealousy, competition and ego on their end. Whilst this synastry created an amazing bond, I wouldn’t prefer to revisit it.

12 house moon/sun 🧘‍♀️🤍- Disclaimer, sun/moon and 12h synastry is widely misunderstood, so I will say, any 12h synastry you have is a soul connection requiring inner work. And not necessarily a connection where there is fantasy, and dream-like experience, although part of it is, it encompasses facing reality on a deeper level and yourself. The person you are dealing with is a reflection of who you are at the time, reflecting wounds and patterns to you. Married couples do have this yes, and it most of the time it took constant inner work to develop the connection.

But this synastry often was difficult, because it introduced wounds and patterns hidden in my subconscious. Many others with this synastry feel tested, because they are meeting themselves in another person. I’ve had this synastry multiple times, the person involved was hard to get to know due to walls being up, and guarding. But it taught me I did as well. It was the start to me understanding where I was rejecting myself. The sun person is elusive, escapist just as much as moon synastry. And has a tendency to play it nonchalant, and underestimate their feelings in the connection.

Moon conj. Chiron synastry 🍵💘- Another tough one, it produced a lot of healing. Chiron is the wounded healer and in the connection taught me the process to liberation. And to understand the journey of healing is never truly over. It’s easy to project unhealed wounds on the moon person, especially if there is a lack of awareness. Easily, the connection can remodel the past if both people don’t consistently work on themselves. The moon person can also struggle to speak up and find their voice, and because of their past can ghost the connection, because they are avoiding healing.

12th house mercury 🪷✨- The mercury person tends to go silent, avoids and represses communication due to fear. On the receiving end it’s taught me to set boundaries and give myself closure, instead of waiting for the other party. Communication is hard for the mercury person, but when they are able to work on that, communication is deep, connecting, and revitalizing. Communication becomes easier over time. Lots of visions are shared between the two, and dreams. If anything its funny how its easy for them to talk to me in my dreams, in reality its different

Pluto in the 10th house 🌟🤍- The house person can easily think the pluto person is intimidating, scary and hard to approach. When in the early stages of a relationship/friendship, it’s easy to idolize the other because of projections. It can feel like one is better than the other, and lead to competition or one upping. Or avoidance, insecurity and self doubt. Projections have to be understood as to why they are coming up. Its easy to think the pluto person is “bad” or “wrong” when the house person is dealing with insecurity.

Thank ya’ll for reading 💗🌟 I hope this resonated! Feel free to comment like and reblog 🤍

Paid Readings 🌟💗

[paused-waterfall]

Okay, I've had a couple people encourage me to do mundane bird lore, and I still don't have time for a proper info dump on bird minutia (that I'd have to all double-check, cause the intersection of a special interest with a shitty memory is a whole clusterfuck) but I can give random tidbits!

-cc!Phil sometimes whacks his mouse on his desk a few times when he's laughing particularly hard. I propose that q!Phil is making that sound with his throat; loud clicks are well within the range of sounds that crows can make. And crows are known to sometimes pick up some weird "laughs".

-Several species of birds use an evolutionary strategy known as "brood parasitism", in which they lay their eggs in another bird's nest to trick the other bird into raising their young. Because of this, many of the targeted species have developed sophisticated strategies for identifying their real offspring. I think those instincts are part of how Philza identified the code doppelgangers so quickly.

-Tallulah is one of the only eggs who regularly uses noise to get attention. That's a hella bird-like behavior to learn from Phil!

-Phil's wings spent a LONG time in his backpack. Every thing he owns is absolutely covered in feathers. The feather buildup in there isn't going to just go away now that he's keeping his wings out. Every time someone asks for supplies, he hands them stuff with a bunch of feathers stuck to it.

-Crow down feathers aren't necessarily black, they can be a light greyish/white. Which isn't all that far off from blond... what if Phil doesn't have "hair" and it's all just feathers.

Alright that's all I've got for nowww

[fourkisses]

i stare at the crash (it actually works) ✷

a cs55 written-smau series where . . .

carlos sainz signs with porsche after getting ditched by ferrari only to find himself in a heated rivalry with his teammate, the only female driver on the grid. oh, and did i mention she's also his ex-girlfriend?

pairing: carlos sainz x fem!porsche driver!reader

warnings: n/a

a/n: did ya'll know tumblr has a 1,000 block limit for every post? yeah, bc i just did. pain.

ᯓ★ PART THREE: THE GOOD OLD DAYS

twelve years ago . . .

Red Bull Racing HQ     •     May 2013

Y/N

Well that was an experience.

CARLOS

Told you it was hard, didn’t I?

Y/N

I never said being in the simulator was hard.

CARLOS

Err, what?

Y/N

I said it was an experience? I don't know what hard you're talking about because I actually had fun?

CARLOS

Boo. Liar.

Y/N

Yeah, right.

Y/N

Whatever fits your narrative, Sainz.

CARLOS

Thank you.

CARLOS

You know, Dan was looking for you earlier.

Y/N

Oh, shit. Right.

Y/N

Do you know where he is?

CARLOS

I think he left for the wind tunnel this morning.

Y/N

Oh, okay. Thanks!

CARLOS

That's it?

CARLOS

She really just left? No goodbyes?

CARLOS

Unbelievable woman.

RB DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER

Hey, Carlos. Have you seen Y/N?

CARLOS

She just left. Did not even say a word.

RB DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER

Oh, okay.

RB DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER

Tell her Dr. Marko wants her to come up to his office when she comes back.

CARLOS

What?

CARLOS

Why? Is she finally in trouble?

RB DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER

Trouble? Oh, no, silly man!

RB DEVELOPMENT ENGINEER

She just set the fastest lap time ever recorded on the sim today, that's why.

RBR HQ Training Facility   •     August 2013

Y/N

I feel like I’m not gonna come out of this alive.

CARLOS

It’s just a warm-up, Y/N. Stop overreacting.

Y/N

Eugh.

Y/N

I want to go home.

Y/N

Why are weights so fucking heavy anyway?

Y/N

Someone really needs to invent weights that aren’t heavy.

CARLOS

God, you’re one hopeless woman. 

Y/N

Damn right I am. Now can you please help me out with this thing?

Y/N

And stop staring at my ass.

CARLOS

Hey! I'm not!

Y/N

Yeah right. Just because I stare at yours doesn't mean you can do it too, ya know.

CARLOS

Huh?

CARLOS

Wait, what?!

Great Gelato    •     February 2014

Y/N

What's your target team? Like, the one you aim to drive for when you climb up to F1?

CARLOS

My target team? Hmm.

CARLOS

I don’t really know.

CARLOS

Probably Ferrari?

CARLOS

I mean, who doesn’t want to drive for Ferrari, right?

CARLOS

Yours?

Y/N

Same answer.

Y/N

Ferrari has just always been THE dream, you know.

Y/N

Ask a child to draw a car . . .

CARLOS

. . . and he certainly will color it red.

CARLOS

You know, maybe we’ll get to drive for them. In the future.

CARLOS

We might even become teammates. You and me in red jumpsuits and all that. 

Y/N

Oooh. That’s hot.

CARLOS

Agree.

Y/N

Someday.

CARLOS

Someday.

Red Bull Racing HQ     •     June 2014

CARLOS

Prom? Really, Y/N?

Y/N

Why are you laughing?

Y/N

You're making fun of my dreams.

Y/N

I'm hurt. 

CARLOS

No– I'm sorry! 

CARLOS

It's just that . . . I don't know.

CARLOS

Most people would answer an actual place, like Paris or something . . .

Y/N

Well, the question says, 'Where have you always dreamed of going?'. Doesn't necessarily mean I have to answer a country.

CARLOS

So you really want to go to prom?

Y/N

I mean, who doesn't? 

Y/N

I've seen my friends online post themselves going and having fun.

Y/N

I just think it's the ultimate teenage experience.

Y/N

Also, it's a great excuse to dress up and feel pretty.

Y/N

Hey, Carlos?

Y/N

Yoo-hoo!

Y/N

Why are you staring at me like that?

CARLOS

Ay, sorry.

CARLOS

It's nothing.

CARLOS

Are you free this Saturday?

Y/N

Err, I think so? We don't have training that day, right?

Y/N

Why?

CARLOS

Let's go to prom.

Y/L/N Residence   •  June 2014, 7:15 PM

Y/N

Oh my god, it's the dress, right?

Y/N

I knew it. Should've known white is a no from the get-go.

Y/N

Or is it the make-up?

Y/N

Too heavy?

Y/N

Hey, Carlos!

Y/N

Why aren't you answering me?

Y/N

Carlos?

Y/N

Okay, that's it. I'm going to change. 

Y/N

Give me three minutes.

CARLOS

No! Wait, Y/N!

CARLOS

There’s nothing wrong.

CARLOS

You're just . . .

CARLOS

Wow.

CARLOS

Pareces un ángel.

You look like an angel.

Y/N

Oh.

Y/N

Thank you. . .

Y/N

You look quite dashing yourself.

CARLOS

Gracias, mi señora.

Thank you, m'lady.

CARLOS

So, shall we?

Y/N

Yes!

Y/N

Damn. We're really gonna crash a prom tonight.

CARLOS

At least it's not cars we're crashing.

Y/N

Pfft. Haha.

Y/N

You're right.

Y/N

At least it's not a car!

Kent Hills Park School  •  June 2015, 9:23 PM

Y/N

No way.

Y/N

I really love this song.

CARLOS

I know, I know.

CARLOS

That's exactly why it's playing right now.

Y/N

Wait, don't tell me—

CARLOS

Yes. Yes I did.

Y/N

OH. Oh my god.

Y/N

What did you sacrifice? A tooth? A kidney? Your appendix?

CARLOS

Eh. Just five bucks, don't worry.

CARLOS 

Now, Y/N Y/L/N, can I have this dance?

I do my Sunday dreaming / And all my Sunday scheming / Every minute, every hour, every day

Y/N

This is the best I can do when it comes to ballroom dancing.

CARLOS

Don't worry, we're on the same page.

Y/N 

You know, all this slow swaying really is a nice shift from all the speed on track.

CARLOS

Yeah.

CARLOS

I'm actually starting to like it.

And my arms need someone / Someone to enfold / To keep me warm when Mondays and Tuesdays grow cold

CARLOS

Hey, Y/N?

Y/N

Hmm?

CARLOS

This is going to sound crazy, but . . .

CARLOS

I want to be your Sunday.

CARLOS

Can I be your Sunday?

Y/N

Excuse me. . . my what?

CARLOS

Your Sunday kind of love.

Y/N

Eeeek.

Y/N

That’s so cheesy.

CARLOS

I'm being serious?

Y/N

Oof. Well. . .

Y/N

I guess you can be my Sunday.

Y/N

And Monday.

Y/N

And Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday and Friday and Saturday.

Y/N

Will that be okay?

CARLOS

So what, I'm going to be like an everyday kind of love?

Y/N

Yup. I guess you could say that.

Y/N

My everyday kind of love.

CARLOS

Tsk. And you're saying mine was cheesy?

Y/N

. . . .

CARLOS

Ay dios, you're blushing!

Y/N

I'm NOT blushing.

CARLOS

That's not what I'm seeing at the moment though . . .

CARLOS

What make-up brand do you use? It's really pigmented.

Y/N

Shut uppp.

CARLOS 

No, because it's sooo red. 

CARLOS

I kinda want one for myself too.

Y/N

Stop it, Sainz! Or else.

CARLOS

Or else what?

CARLOS

You're going to tape my mouth again?

CARLOS

We’re in a public high school. Where are you even gonna get tape? Inside the classrooms? What, you're gonna break in? Y/N, I don't know if you know but that's illeg—

Y/N

There you go.

Y/N

Oof. Carlos?

Y/N

Hello?

Y/N 

What, you're forever not gonna speak a word now?

CARLOS

. . . .

CARLOS

That’s definitely one way to shut me up.

Y/N

Yeah? Thought so.

Y/N

And hey, look! Now you're blushing too.

CARLOS

Haha. Couple goals?

I want a Sunday, Sunday / I want a Sunday kind of love / Oh, yeah / Sunday, Sunday, Sunday kind of love

← previous part next part →

[3hks]

Key Components in Creating THAT Character

If you read a lot or enjoy television and interact with the fandoms, you quickly realize that there are certain characters that have fans COMPLETELY wrapped around their finger! And furthermore, they usually end up pretty iconic even though they aren't the main character! (People like Gojo Satoru, Levi Ackerman, Killua Zoldyck--I watch too much anime but hopefully you get the point) So how do they become so popular? Do YOU want to create a character along those lines?

Perfect! Because this guide will have literally everything you need! (Keep in mind that some things will get very specific and there's no need to follow absolutely everything!)

1. Confidence

It doesn't matter if the confidence is a facade or if your character is genuinely confident--readers LOVE a confident character! This is because confidence can establish reliability, easily capturing the audience.

2. Status

Following confidence, it's important that your character has status. I'm not necessarily talking about royalty and whatnot, but if you look at my first three examples (assuming that you know who they are), they all carry a title and are known.

Gojo Satoru: The Strongest Sorcerer

Levi Ackerman: Humanity's Strongest Soldier

Killua Zoldyck: He's a Zoldyck

Again, this creates a sense of reliability and that awareness that your character is someone important.

3. Reputation

Alright, so this character now has confidence and status, so therefore, they also need some kind of a reputation! Consider some of the following questions: Does the public have an opinion on them? If so, what is the general viewpoint? What about the people close your character? Are their opinions accurate to your character's actual personality?

The truth is their reputation doesn't have to reliably reflect them. What the readers see in your character versus the others in the story can be vastly different. So, with these types of characters, it's important to establish a perspective of them that's separate from the audience's!

Now, what does this even do? A reputation builds onto status because it shows that, again, this character is someone who genuinely matters not just to the story itself, but to the actual verse. It also offers a lot of indirect characterization because it demonstrates how they are seen!

I would consider the first three to be the surface level traits, which is not a bad thing at all! However, with these next few points, we're going to dig deeper!

4. Empathy/Sympathy

Yes, yes, I'm well aware that empathy and sympathy are completely separate concepts, but either one will work for what I'm about to talk about next!

Vulnerabilities and flaws are critical to any realistic and quality character.

However, it's important to keep in mind that for THIS type of character, specifically, is meant to be established as someone with status and thus, won't easily show their weaknesses.

When boiled down, treat your readers like all another character.

Don't shove your character's fragilities into your audience's face because that can ruin everything you built up in steps one through three. Instead, leave their weaknesses (not necessarily flaws, they can be revealed however you like) slightly vaguer than you might normally. Let it be up for interpretation!

A simple way to achieve this is to dive into their past and let their old selves speak for themselves!

5. Situation

Great, so now you have the flaws and rough imperfections of your character down! What do you do with them?

Put your character in a situation with something on the line that exposes their vulnerabilities and forces them to confront their issues. Allow your readers to see their flaws physically in action because that's one of the best ways to fully elaborate on their character.

Additionally, if you're looking to flesh them out or generate more emotion, this will achieve that! With these characters, they NEED their time in your story.

6. Development

Just like all characters, the fundamentals still apply, and this character is no exception to development! If you're not too sure about what changes to make, start with step 5 and continue from there! There is no need to make a drastic difference, a simple realization or small alteration will do!

CONCLUSION

Alright, let's wrap this up! Steps 1-3 are the basis to creating your character's personality! It gives the impression that they are important and have a reputation. Steps 4-6 are mainly for development and to create a more dimensional character; but the main takeaway is that any weaknesses should not be downright stated but instead hinted at!

Happy September and happy writing~

3hks <3

[sage-nebula]

When The Owl House first came out, there was a lot of discussion surrounding how King could potentially be Bill, with the most common theory being that Bill had somehow been reincarnated into King by the Axolotl. After all, not only does Alex Hirsch voice both of them, but the voice he uses for King is very similar to the voice he uses for Bill. (Very similar, but not the exact same; apart from not having the voice distortion, King's voice is higher pitched. King's voice is basically Bill's voice before Bill hit puberty, lmao.) Apart from that, both King and Bill are demons; King had an obsession with ruling, power, and conquest; King has yellow sclera; and, well, people were desperate for connections between Gravity Falls and The Owl House, to the point where I actually did end up pretty annoyed for awhile that people weren't letting The Owl House stand on its own two feet and were instead treating it like a sequel show. (Though there are actual, canonical connections between them now, the most notable being that Eda married Stan for less than 24 hours in Vegas so that she could rob him blind, lmao. He still thinks fondly of her to this day, as he should.)

I bring this up because I never really subscribed to this theory, or thought very much of it . . . until now. It's not that I think the theory is more plausible now, but more that I think that the idea holds a sort of poetic beauty to it now, if it was true. (Which again, I don't think it necessarily is, but more that it's a nice "what if" to think about.) And the reason for that comes from information that we gained from The Book of Bill, along with additional information that we've now gained from the website, along with how King's story arc developed and played out in The Owl House. (So, spoilers for that show, the new book, and the website if you haven't kept up with any of that.)

Essentially:

It's been heavily implied for years now (to the point where, in my personal opinion, it was known, but to be safe I'm saying heavily implied) that Bill destroyed his home dimension. In the show, Bill says that he "liberated" his home dimension, and when he brings it up, there is fiery imagery around him that is similar to the rift that opens in the sky to link Gravity Falls to the Nightmare Realm during Weirdmageddon. Then, in one of the spinoff books, when Dipper asks the Axolotl about Bill, the Axolotl says, "Saw his own dimension burn [. . .] blame the arson for the fire." Considering that Bill said that he "liberated" his dimension with fire imagery, and the Axolotl says that he saw his dimension burn (and blames the arson, rather than the arsonist for the fire) . . . the conclusion can easily be drawn that Bill's "liberation" was actually "destruction." Which makes sense, when you remember what he wanted to do to Earth during Weirdmageddon.

Nonetheless, we have had that confirmed now thanks to The Book of Bill and the website. We know that when Bill tries to recant what happened to his dimension, there is a loud ringing in his ears and he blacks out; we know that he looks "more distant than [Ford] had ever seen him" when he tries to recount the story to Ford (implying dissociation; we know that he told his henchmaniacs the "liberation" story and that he freaks out when Time Baby tries to speak openly about what actually happened and who actually caused it; and we know that, during his therapy sessions in the Theraprism, when the therapist tries to turn the discussion to his parents, he shuts down discussion altogether. (And also only draws red and blue triangles during his art sessions, implying that may be what his parents looked like.)

So we know that: Bill destroyed his own dimension, that he's the sole survivor of the massacre, that he was severely traumatized by this (because he didn't intend to massacre his entire people, he honestly was trying to help them see what he could see -- the third dimension) and that he just handled his trauma in the worst possible way, particularly since he did not have anyone left to give him a support system. A billion years without a proper support system or any form of healing, sinking further and further into denial, rationalization, and detachment (outlined on Bill's page on morality as his tools of the trade), lying until his lies were no longer lies to himself, made Bill into the monster he is today.

But then the Pines family defeated him (thanks to Stan), he invoked the name of the Axolotl, and got sent to the Theraprism. He hates it there, and he is so deeply entrenched in the lies-he-no-longer-recognizes-as-lies that he is not making any progress. As Alex said at one of the Barnes & Noble Q&As, what Bill really needs is to actually be honest with himself, but it's unknown if he will ever be able to do that. Until he can do that, the hope of him actually making progress at the Theraprism is nil.

But here is the thing about the Theraprism. Well, here are the two things about the Theraprism:

The first is that we are told that the Theraprism is a place specifically devoted to reincarnation. The reason why the "King is reincarnated Bill" theory was popular before was mostly due to the reasons I mentioned above, but also because of another line in the Axolotl's poem: "A different form, a different time." People understood this to mean reincarnation, and it's easy to see why. But for me personally, I always found it a bit strange that the Axolotl would simply let Bill reincarnate simply by calling out for help. Would that really be all it took for the Axolotl? True, the Axolotl is the god of this universe, and Jesus (from how I understand it) is all about "accept me as your savior and you're immediately absolved of all sins," but I also felt that was just too easy of a Get Out of Death Free card for Bill. It was a very clean getaway, considering everything.

But The Book of Bill makes it evident that isn't the case. As it is described by the Theraprism employee in the book:

"Here at the Theraprism, we believe death can be the beginning of a new life. With good behavior, former wizards, world-eating titans, and even Mr. Cipher have many exciting options for reincarnation -- perhaps as a newt, shrimp, or a cloud of fungal spores!"

The Axolotl also made this clear to Bill (though Bill misunderstood entirely:

"You cannot regrow through denial. You'll have to face my hardest trial. See my program to the end, then you may yet live again. You're getting what you need the most; one way to absolve your crimes, to change your form will take some time."

Now, many of you are probably thinking: a baby titan from the Boiling Isles is a huge leap from newts, shrimp, and fungal spores. I would agree with you; it seems that the Theraprism does tend to pick very lowly life forms for the big bads they rehabilitate to reincarnate into. But here are the reasons why I think it would be poetic if it were King, and therefore why I like to think that it would be nice if this were the case:

Like Bill, King is the last of his kind. Unlike Bill, this is through no fault of King's own; the other titans were wiped out before King even hatched, and King's father had to hastily inscribe runes to protect him from the titan hunters (or archivists?) so that they couldn't find and kill him as well by destroying his egg. Nonetheless, King is the sole survivor of a genocide and this is something that weighs heavily on him and influences his character arc in a big way in the second half of the show. The fact that he doesn't know what he is lends struggle to him trying to discover who he is. Yes, he's in a family of misfits, but Eda and Luz know what they are and who they come from. King doesn't have that. King has no basis for what he is, or why he was abandoned -- none of it. And then when he does finally start to get answers, it's to learn that his people were massacred in a genocide; that there are people still out there who want to kill him; that he is going to grow to be a deity-like figure, that he'll outlive those he loves . . . King is a child of about eight-years-old, but he has so, so much weighing on him already.

But where Bill accidentally destroyed his dimension and killed everyone in it, and then was crushed under the weight of that trauma because he was left alone and covered in blood, King did have that family of misfits to support and love him through it all. He was still burdened by the fact that he didn't know what he was or where he came from, but Eda, Hooty, Luz, and eventually Lilith gave him unconditional love and a home and support to figure all of that out, to the point where it was King's idea to be formally adopted by Eda and change his name to King Clawthorne. And while he will eventually outlive them all, he made a friend in The Collector who is also immortal, so he'll never be truly alone.

Essentially, what I'm getting at here is: there are parallels in Bill's and King's story, now that we know Bill's backstory. They aren't the exact same, especially since King was not responsible for what happened to the other titans. But there are still parallels that can be made. But whereas things ended as badly as they could possibly end up for Bill, King's story had a much better ending. So if we imagine that Bill was reincarnated as King, then it is almost like he got a do-over. Like he was put in a similar situation, but this time he was found by a new adoptive mother who raised him with love and care, and got an adoptive big sister, and owl tube house mate, and aunt, as well as a ton of friends. He suffered trauma, but this time he didn't have to suffer it alone, and was able to handle it in a much better, much healthier way. Yes, he's an all-powerful demon (or at least, he will be someday, when he grows into an adult). But this time he isn't going to be causing any apocalypses, or delighting in any mortal suffering. This time, things are going to be different for him, because his soul completed the Axolotl's program in the Theraprism and he was able to reincarnate for that second chance.

(And if you're thinking, "But The Owl House doesn't take place that long after Gravity Falls, so how is that possible?" Well, the Theraprism exists outside of time and space, so it doesn't matter how many millennia it takes for Bill to complete the program. He literally has all the time in the multiverse.)

So I'm on board with this theory now. Again, I do not think it's canon. But it's a nice idea, and one that I think has a poetic sweetness to it. No one has to agree, of course, but that's just my take on it.

[cobragardens]

Holy Kittens, Y'all: My Favorite Good Omens Moment Has Gotten EVEN MORE ROMANTIC

Okay so I wrote this post about my favorite moment in Good Omens, and the stuff people are pointing out in the reblogs and comments is blowing my freaking mind, and I HAVE to show you how beautifully this all fits together, like I am flailing at my desk about this.

@vidavalor points out this gif from @soft-ange-aziraphale [Source]:

Here it is in sequence (gifs 1-4 from Fuck Yeah Good Omens):

I can't stop laughing over Aziraphale's smile, which shows, as @quoththemaiden says, that he's "utterly delighted with himself" and knows perfectly well that he's minxing Crowley; and this tiny extension of the moment convinces me even more that Crowley is desperately fighting a smile himself here.

Actually there's a lot in @quoththemaiden's comment that's insightful and well-put:

Totes agree with all of this.

And then. AND THEN!

I knew Crowley was trying to communicate something with this Shakespeare line, but I didn't know what until @paperbunny and @musingsofmaisie put it out there: Crowley is complimenting Aziraphale here, telling him he's enjoying being in Aziraphale's company, telling him his humor worked.

Remember how I keep banging on about how much equivocation Crowley does? This is more equivocation. In 1601, Richard Burbage was 34 years old, so age hasn't had the chance to wither his infinite variety yet. The stupidity of demons and the ignorance of angels regarding the human aging process prevent surveillance from noticing the poor applicability of this line to Burbage, but since the first half of the line fits Aziraphale (who does not age at all) more than Burbage (who is merely not yet old) it stands a chance of indicating to Aziraphale that Crowley is speaking about him. And the underlying true meaning of this equivocal statement would be A DIRECT RESPONSE TO MY FAVORITE MOMENT: Even though I have known you so long, you still surprise and delight me.

(Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line also accomplishes something else important: it gets William Shakespeare to go away so they can speak privately, because Shakespeare doesn't want them to see him writing it down.)

A Dip Into Speculation

I don't think the evidence for it is binding enough to say for sure, because the evidence is really just that it fits together so nicely and lines up so well with A&C's coded romantic messages in 1793; the (pretty overt, actually, I mean damn) romance in 1827; the size and nature of the fight in 1867; the yeah, really overt romance in 1941; and in 1967; and yes okay now that I'm thinking about it the whole series, but I have this View about how the rest of the 1601 scene goes.

And in fact there is Word of Gods that could be interpreted as evidence against this little pet headcanon I have, though it doesn't necessarily have to be:

Here's my assertion: Aziraphale volunteers to go to Edinburgh for Crowley. Crowley cheats the coin toss to accept Aziraphale's offer and to keep up appearances as a demon. Rather than making a deal with (or asking a favor of) an angel, he's 'cheating' him (without the angel's knowledge, but with his consent), which "moves the dials" of evil a bit and would also make Aziraphale appear less at fault if this instance of the Arrangement is ever discovered by Heaven.

This can coexist with Gaiman's statement, above, that it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale that Crowley cheats the toss. THEE ongoing leitmotif of Aziraphale's view of Crowley is that he thinks of Crowley as much more genuinely evil and much less in need of ways to create cover as evil than Crowley actually is.

(Which is interesting, given that he also clearly thinks that Crowley is not as evil as he pretends to be, that he is and wants to do good, and that he deserves to be an angel again. [There is a whoooole nother essay slowly curdling in the churn in my head about how Aziraphale is obliged to practice doublethink and how that stunts his personal development because that's what happens when people aren't free.])

Here's what I mean when I say Aziraphale volunteers.

Does Aziraphale ask in this tone because he is actually feeling suspicious and curt, or because he has to sound suspicious and curt? He could be perfectly willing to do Crowley a favor and would still need to sound the way he does. It's difficult for me to believe this guy--

--or this guy--

--are really all that bothered by the idea that Crowley might want something from him.

Crowley's response sounds like a(n unconvincing) protest of innocence. Maybe it is. But he doesn't disagree with the premise on which Aziraphale based his question, which means Aziraphale now has confirmation: Crowley called the meeting because he wants to ask Aziraphale to do him a favor.

Close your eyes and listen to Sheen's delivery of this line. The way he says it is so soft it's got no judgy angelic sting to it at all. Is this really a prissy answer to Crowley's semi-rhetorical question? Or is Aziraphale using the cover of a prissy answer to ask Crowley, Is what you want related to the no-good you're up to, i.e., demon work?

Either way, Crowley answers:

Is Crowley making a demonic jibe at Aziraphale in return to "You're up to no good," or is he telling Aziraphale, Yes, what I want from you is related to my work, and to your work, esp. what you've got on right now?

Aziraphale volunteers some information about his schedule and what it is he's got on right now.

--he says, and the velvety way Crowley says "Ohhh," tells us--and could tell Aziraphale--that Crowley already knows this. In this coded communication I'm suggesting, Crowley's tone on "Oh" confirms to Aziraphale that the thing he wants help with does indeed have to do with Aziraphale's trip to Edinburgh.

So Aziraphale gives Crowley his travel details: Yeah, I have a couple of blessings and a minor miracle to perform. It's going to suck; I have to ride a horse.

Crowley's like, yeah, riding horses does suck. You have my sympathies. (Phrasing it as an insult to God: "Major design flaw if you ask me.") And then he says, I have to go to Edinburgh too this week. Tempt a clan leader into stealing some cattle.

And here's where I think Aziraphale volunteers to do Crowley's Edinburgh job for him:

If, as I propose, Aziraphale understands already at this point that Crowley is asking him to take Crowley's Edinburgh temptation, then this response tells Crowley he's willing to do so.

And then they have a little bit of kayfabe theater and a little bit of miscommunication between themselves. Crowley suggests Aziraphale take Crowley's Edinburgh job. Aziraphale protests "You cannot actually be suggesting what I infer you're implying," even though, as Crowley immediately points, out, they've now done this dozens of times.

Now, obviously Aziraphale is pretending innocence here with "You cannot actually be suggesting," etc. But he's not pretending innocence to Crowley. He can't be: Crowley knows about the dozens of other times just like Aziraphale does. So the protest of innocence is for surveillance; it's the spirit, not the letter, of the protest itself that's genuine: I am reluctant about this.

And Crowley misses it.

He reads the surface layer of the equivocation, the Heavenly pearl-clutching; and the surface layer is where he argues. "We've done it before," he points out. "Dozens of times now. The Arrangement--"

But Aziraphale, visibly frightened and looking around, cuts him off. "Don't say that." Getting caught in an Arrangement would be much, much worse than getting caught in a one-off deal.

Why is this suddenly a problem? says Crowley. You know we've been getting away with this; you know they don't check up.

It's not pearl-clutching at all; Aziraphale is worried for Crowley's safety.

When Crowley says--

--is his tone half wheedling and half impatient because that's how he feels, or because it must sound like that? Is it soft only out of courtesy to the other people in the Globe?

There's no difference to the outcome of this scene or the story as a whole whether this romantic interpretation of the Edinburgh bickering is correct, because we've already got a solid base of evidence that the characters have romantic feelings for each other and show each other affection and care in this scene. In my opinion this interpretation fits the tone of the rest of the Globe scene better than only the face-value interpretation. What Gaiman and Mackinnon say about Crowley cheating the coin toss and Aziraphale not being aware of it can still easily apply.

While these three statements together aren't enough evidence to convict, so to speak, if my initial argument about the interpretation of "Buck up!" and Crowley's reaction is correct--and the cool stuff other people have found and pointed out suggests it is AND explains Crowley's Antony & Cleopatra line--this reading of the Edinburgh bickering is, if not ironclad, at least valid.

And holy shit, people, that makes this scene romantic af from beginning to end. I could not have asked for a better little gift from my fellow humans. 🤯I have such a better understanding of the entire 1601 scene because people from anywhere with an Internet connection sat down and spent their time sharing their ideas, and it just makes the lit-nerd lobe of my brain so happy. I love you all, you romantics and nerds and perverts.

[quoththeowl31]

Lets have some Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey fun!

The Young Man:

I thought I was alone in the manor only to find another reading the diaries. He jumped when I cleared my throat and turned, blinding me with the light from his helmet.

The light looked to be far more modern than what is used by today's standards and it easily obscured the man's features.

"What are you doing here?" Was all I could ask.

"I could ask you the same!" His accent wasn't from around here. There was a drawl to it. American? From what I could tell he was young with dark hair and he was ready for a fight given his body language. I have to de-escalate.

"Look I'm just here investigating a missing girl. I'm a private detective."

"Missing girl eh? I've heard rumors this place swallows people up like a hungry beast. Still how do I know you're not pullin' my leg? You ain't some squatter, right?"

My turn...

"Well what about you? What exactly are you doing here? You look like you're here to loot what valuables are left here."

"I don't take kindly to that type of accusation, Detective. If you must know, I'm an Archeologist and here for my own kind of investigation."

Archeologist?

"What could an Archeologist possibly be investigating in an old manor?"

He huffed.

"A lot of people say that this manor is cursed. I'm not necessarily one to believe in supernatural curses; usually when a place is said to be cursed, it's a warning about what natural dangers are encountered there; venomous reptiles or insects, hazardous environments or just a way to scare looters off. But here...there might be something to that."

He pulls something out of his pocket; a photograph of a strange symbol etched into the wall of a room.

"See here? Before the basement was turned into...that...it used to be a darkroom for developing photographs. The Manor's owner at the time of this was a man named Joseph Desaulniers and from what I understand, he was obsessed with capturing souls in photographs and dabbled in occult means to do so. There were symbols like these etched into the walls of the basement and in various locations around the manor grounds."

These symbols...they were familiar but I couldn't place them to any known ancient civilization. I hand back the photos to the Archeologist.

"These symbols...where are they from?"

"From what I've discovered they're from a time before the Romans but there's so little left I've been tracking what little leads I could find about them..." The pause is palpable, I feel as though the sense of dread about the manor has only grown stronger.

"Remember how I said this manor is like a hungry beast? I've managed to decode some of the symbols. They point to a ritual that grants good fortune to those who invoke it. The thing is a constant stream of fresh blood is needed..."

"Fresh blood...you mean like..."

"Yeah...sacrifice."

[punkpandapatrixk]

Full Strawberry Moon in Capricorn ♦︎ Moon Magick Pick A Card

Heey, has the Full Strawberry Moon caused you some level of fatigue? At least physically rather than mentally? It was in the sign of Capricorn last June 23. This FM brought a shake-up to the foundation of our routines and a sense of belonging. I hope you’ve been feeling more secure in terms of your job and finances, or at least in the way you get to schedule your work.

There’s this little thing that I’ve been saying to myself ever since the arrival of this FM: ‘I’ve decided now that I am stable and secure. I’m not anxious anymore. There’s nothing to worry about.’ I’ve been saying that for my finances, yes, but especially, about my place in the world. I’ve become even more certain that what I’m doing is contributing positively to the world around me, and I’m very happy about that :D

This Full Moon, the aenergy is all about dreams and manifestations of a stable, secure Life going forward as Workers of Light. Personally, I don’t know what’s going on with people who are not of the Light LOL I guess all the foundation of their Reality is simply crumbling because they haven’t worked on their traumas? *cough, Hollyweird, cough cough*

Anyway, this FM also brought in a huge-ass cosmic broom to sweep up even more karmic debris from your energetic field (even bloodline). Releasing yourself from the shackles of guilt and unworthiness so you can grow tall and reach the heights of the heavens. All that, so you can now focus on your legacy project—something important, and unique, which you’ve known for quite a while only you can do.

This Full Strawberry Moon in Capricorn is the time all these wishes and endeavours are blessed by the Light forces of the Universe. Workers of Light, this year is YOUR year! Stomp forward bravely!

IDEA: High Paying, Low Stress Feminine Careers by Beauty & Beyond

deck-bottom: XVII The Star Rx, Gold Astronomer (John Dee), Priestess of Strength

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Pile 1 – It’s Time to Nourish Your Body

security – 2 of Cups Rx

Oh, this is interesting. You know that 2 of Cups is a soulmate card, right? But here in reverse I’m getting that up until fairly recently you’ve given so much of yourself to the wrong soulmates. It could be that there was something in the air that convinced you that you’d met your tribe, friend group, or even the one and true significant other, but then the Universe did something and the truth was unveiled, and it was painful.

The, uh, disclosure, took quite a toll on your physical body, probably due to the shock or trauma. This could’ve eaten away at your self-worth, too, to some degree. You might’ve dealt with an affliction of an impostor syndrome after the incident. Emotionally, it was really hard. But now, the Full Strawberry Moon has swept away a huge chunk of that trauma and now you’re good LOL

Basically, you’re being assured by your Spirit Guides that everything is only getting better from here <3

stability – 10 of Wands

If you resonate with having been in isolation for quite a while, this is your confirmation that you’ve chosen well. I mean, I guess your Spirit Guides ushered you into isolation LOL But this isolation period is your recovery phase from all the lessons you’ve taken from the previous chapter of your Life. Your Spirit Guides are saying the past was not a mistake. You needed to experience those things to help you develop a stronger intuition.

It's part of your Life Scenario to meet many, indeed, Souls that you’d known in different incarnations, but they’re not necessarily your long-term Soul Tribe. It was more like meeting old friends, neighbours or students you’d interacted with in the past and now they’re just passing by to say hi or help you with a light task. They were never meant to stay for long. Because, your True Soul Family is elsewhere.

Know that. Feel that with your intuition. Accept their call. And have fun making your way to them, or inviting them to your space :D

worry-free – 6 of Wands

For some of you tuning into this Pile, you may have been in this isolation mode for a very long time. Your Spirit Guides are saying your time in hiding is almost over. Soon, you’re gonna be connecting with people again and be seen for all the wonderful work you’re able to produce now, and everybody around you is so gonna appreciate and admire you for all that you are. They’ll think you’re super wonderful and they’re gonna wanna hang out with you and all that stuff :D

Are you still afraid of some kind of a betrayal or abandonment from these connections? No, it doesn’t seem like that at all. Why? Because you’ve transcended above your self-worth issues; because now there’s something that you’re doing that you feel very proud of, at least confident about. You know your worth now, so you’re just naturally magnetising people who will also view you the same.

Take care of your body though. Don’t work too hard. Your body still needs to get used to a healthy routine so it gets stronger. A strong body supports a more stable emotional plane <3

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 2 – Enjoying Unwinding for a Moment

security – 7 of Wands Rx

Seems like you’ve been huuuuuustling for the longest time. This FM in Capricorn is saying you’ve done marvellously well, so please take a break now! XD It’s more like, gosh, you haven’t taken the time to smell the panna cotta at all. Chill out, bro. You’re gonna work yourself to death before you even get to enjoy any bit of your labour of love. If it’s not possible to take a break, at least delegate. You really don’t have to do it all alone~

There’s a bit of a message about learning to trust other people. In essence, also learning to trust the Universe. Trust that things won’t suddenly spin out of control just because you’re snoring one minute. You’re working on something important that can benefit other people as well, right? Even if ‘other people’ literally means only yourself at this moment, and your family in the future.

Trust that the work—or the intent to change jobs—you’re doing now is in alignment with your Highest Intended Good. And in that sense, everything is perfect. You can relax~

stability – 10 of Cups Rx

Other than the scenario involving work, it seems a bunch of you have simply been dealing with a sense of ‘burden’ that goes beyond just day-to-day work. I feel like there’s been so much dark clouds in your mind, covering all your senses and your perception of Reality. These dark clouds are just worries, anxieties, and a fear of rejection or shame from the people closest to you.

It feels like there’s an endeavour you know you must take, a decision you know you must make, but you’ve been so stressed out about how to balance what you want with what’s expected of you. This FM in Capricorn seems to have lifted a huge chunk of those gloomy clouds tho, and I’m seeing you’re more able to distance yourself from the opinions and influences of those who might disagree with you.

This time around, this year in fact, you’re prioritising yourself. There’s something very important that you must undertake, but first, peace of mind first.

worry-free – 6 of Cups Rx

It does seem that the majority of your concerns come from ‘people’ rather ‘situations’. Your interpersonal relationships were simply weighing you down because you feel so much empathy and gratitude towards the people whom, I get are meant to be left in the past. These are people in your early chapters of Life; they’re likely not gonna make an appearance in the next arc, babe.

So you’re being advised to let go with grace and gratitude. I feel like you’re this dragon who’s meant for something mega-important and mega-luxury but the people around you couldn’t understand that. Well, that’s OK. That doesn’t make them ‘bad’, right? You just aren’t each other’s people, apparently. Your people, in fact, are those who are just as weird as you.

As you move forward, you’re going to meet more of these people who will even help you in building your empire. For now though, just enjoy unwinding those stressful threads of expectations in your mind~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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Pile 3 – This is Literally Where It All Starts

security – Page of Pentacles Rx

You’ve dedicated a huge chunk of your Life to studying. Most people won’t even be able to grasp just how much ‘a huge chunk of your Life’ is in this scenario. It almost feels like practically your entire Life, you’ve just been studying. A whooole Life of nothing but hard lessons from the Universe. Are you fuckin’ kidding me? You may have felt like giving up numerous times, too.

But it all ends by this FM in Capricorn. You’ve finished studying. You’ve graduated, or soon graduating. For the most part, the majority of you have closed that chapter of studying, learning and experimenting (with prototypes). From here onwards, it’s full-on Creation with active R&D on the side. You’re being propelled into your Highest Intended Mission.

Of course, vacation, first, baby~ Relax and celebrate your graduation. You deserve to take it easy now that you’re in preparatory mode.

stability – 2 of Airships Rx

I see that whatever you’ve felt was restricted before, whether money or time or a general sense of ‘freedom’ to do what you want when you want, is being lifted and suddenly there’s just this almost magical burst of material blessings that enable you to just…have a good time! Like, before, it was as if either you turn on the electricity or go without food for a day (hi, Australia). There was just SO much compromise to make. Not anymore! This FM in Capricorn is bringing in a lot of ease and material abundance!

Well, this Strawberry Moon is all about manifestation and fruitfulness, yes, but it’s also the way Saturn (ruler of Cap) seems to be easing in on the restrictions put around your physical manifestations. And it’s mainly thanks to your finally returning to the core of who you are. If this is your main pile, chances are, you’ve figured out your spiritual work in this world.

Basically, the lessons of Saturn revolve around that theme. Finding your footing in this world so your physical manifestations are always going to be in the service of your Highest Intended Good :D

worry-free – Knight of Wands Rx

I get this feeling that up until recently, you’ve been sort of torn between doing what’s responsible/practical and following this calling in your heart. Being pulled in more than one direction has caused you a great deal of mental turbulence. It wasn’t because you were choosing or managing poorly, no, not at all; it was because you were meant to follow both LOL

But yeah, I get that the whole learning phase was more like a tempering of your passions. Basically, the Universe was teaching you trust and faith in its grand orchestration. There this quote that fits perfectly for you right now:

‘You ever just like… Trust the Universe so much that you don’t give a fuck?’

For most of you tuning in here, I feel like you’ve kinda just stopped giving a fuck about whether or not you’re gonna make it or fail hahahah

And that’s the whole point, right? Doesn’t matter what happens, the Universe has big plans for you, so you’re surely gonna end up alright, and even thriving! Since you already know the outcome anyway, might as well relax and take it easy from like right now~

full moon self-care🔻🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

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[regulusrules]

Yo, I saw your post about orientalism in relation to the "hollywood middle-east" tiktok!

How can a rando and university dropout get into and learn more about? Any literature or other content to recommend?

Hi!! Wow, you have no idea how you just pressed a button. I'll unleash 5+ years on you. And I'll even add for you open-sourced works that you can access as much as I can!

1. Videos

I often find this is the best medium nowadays to learn anything! I'll share with you some of the best that deal with the topic in different frames

• This is a video of Edward Said talking about his book, Orientalism. Said is the Palestinian- American critic who first introduced the term Orientalism, and is the father of postcolonial studies as a critical literary theory. In this book, you’ll find an in-depth analysis of the concept and a deconstruction of western stereotypes. It’s very simple and he explains everything in a very easy manner.

• How Islam Saved Western Civilization. A more than brilliant lecture by Professor Roy Casagranda. This, in my opinion, is one of the best lectures that gives credit to this great civilization, and takes you on a journey to understand where did it all start from.

• What’s better than a well-researched, general overview Crash Course about Islam by John Green? This is not necessarily on orientalism but for people to know more about the fundamental basis of Islam and its pillars. I love the whole playlist that they have done about the religion, so definitely refer to it if you're looking to understand more about the historical background! Also, I can’t possibly mention this Crash Course series without mentioning ... ↓

• The Medieval Islamicate World. Arguably my favourite CC video of all times. Hank Green gives you a great thorough depiction of the Islamic civilization when it rose. He also discusses the scientific and literary advancements that happened in that age, which most people have no clue about! And honestly, just his excitement while explaining the astrolabe. These two truly enlightened so many people with the videos they've made. Thanks, @sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog

2. Documentaries

• This is an AMAZING documentary called Reel Bad Arabs: How Hollywood Villifies A People by the genius American media critic Jack Shaheen. He literally analysed more than 1000 movies and handpicked some to showcase the terribly false stereotypes in western depiction of Arab/Muslim cultures. It's the best way to go into the subject, because you'll find him analysing works you're familiar with like Aladdin and all sorts.

• Spain’s Islamic Legacy. I cannot let this opportunity go to waste since one of my main scopes is studying feminist Andalusian history. There are literal gems to be known about this period of time, when religious coexistence is documented to have actually existed. This documentary offers a needed break from eurocentric perspectives, a great bird-view of the Islamic civilization in Europe and its remaining legacy (that western history tries so hard to erase).

• When the Moors Ruled in Europe. This is one of the richest documentaries that covers most of the veiled history of Al-Andalus (Muslim Spain). Bettany Hughes discusses some of the prominent rulers, the brilliance of architecture in the Arab Muslim world, their originality and contributions to poetry and music, their innovative inventions and scientific development, and lastly, La Reconquista; the eventual fall and erasure of this grand civilization by western rulers.

3. Books

• Rethinking Orientalism by Reina Lewis. Lewis brilliantly breaks the prevailing stereotype of the “Harem”, yk, this stupid thought westerns projected about arab women being shut inside one room, not allowed to go anywhere from it, enslaved and without liberty, just left there for the sexual desires of the male figures, subjugated and silenced. It's a great read because it also takes the account of five different women living in the middle east.

• Nocturnal Poetics by Ferial Ghazoul. A great comparative text to understand the influence and outreach of The Thousand and One Nights. She applies a modern critical methodology to explore this classic literary masterpiece.

• The Question of Palestine by Edward Said. Since it's absolutely relevant, this is a great book if you're looking to understand more about the Palestinian situation and a great way to actually see the perspective of Palestinians themselves, not what we think they think.

• Arab-American Women's Writing and Performance by S.S. Sabry. One of my favourite feminist dealings with the idea of the orient and how western depictions demeaned arab women by objectifying them and degrading them to objects of sexual desire, like Scheherazade's characterization: how she was made into a sensual seducer, but not the literate, brilliantly smart woman of wisdom she was in the eastern retellings. The book also discusses the idea of identity and people who live on the hyphen (between two cultures), which is a very crucial aspect to understand arabs who are born/living in western countries.

• The Story of the Moors in Spain by Stanley Lane-Poole. This is a great book if you're trying to understand the influence of Islamic culture on Europe. It debunks this idea that Muslims are senseless, barbaric people who needed "civilizing" and instead showcases their brilliant civilization that was much advanced than any of Europe in the time Europe was labelled by the Dark Ages. (btw, did you know that arabic was the language of knowledge at that time? Because anyone who was looking to study advanced sciences, maths, philosophy, astronomy etc, had to know arabic because arabic-speaking countries were the center of knowledge and scientific advancements. Insane, right!)

• Convivencia and Medieval Spain. This is a collection of essays that delve further into the idea of “Convivencia”, which is what we call for religious coexistence. There's one essay in particular that's great called Were Women Part of Convivencia? which debunks all false western stereotypical images of women being less in Islamic belief. It also highlights how arab women have always been extremely cultured and literate. (They practiced medicine, studied their desired subjects, were writers of poetry and prose when women in Europe couldn't even keep their surnames when they married.)

4. Novels / Epistolaries

• Granada by Radwa Ashour. This is one of my favourite novels of all time, because Ashour brilliantly showcases Andalusian history and documents the injustices and massacres that happened to Muslims then. It covers the cultural erasure of Granada, and is also a story of human connection and beautiful family dynamics that utterly touches your soul.

• Dreams of Trespass by Fatema Mernissi. This is wonderful short read written in autobiographical form. It deconstructs the idea of the Harem in a postcolonial feminist lens of the French colonization of Morocco.

• Scheherazade Goes West by Mernissi. Mernissi brilliantly showcases the sexualisation of female figures by western depictions. It's very telling, really, and a very important reference to understand how the west often depicts middle-eastern women by boxing them into either the erotic, sensual beings or the oppressed, black-veiled beings. It helps you understand the actual real image of arab women out there (who are not just muslims btw; christian, jew, atheist, etc women do exist, and they do count).

• Letters of Lady Mary Wortley Montagu. This is a feminist travel epistolary of a British woman which covers the misconceptions that western people, (specifically male travelers) had recorded and transmitted about the religion, traditions and treatment of women in Constantinople, Turkey. It is also a very insightful sapphic text that explores her own engagement with women there, which debunks the idea that there are no queer people in the middle east.

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With all of these, you'll get an insight about the real arab / islamic world. Not the one of fanaticism and barbarity that is often mediated, but the actual one that is based on the fundamental essences of peace, love, and acceptance.

[dairy-farmer]

Presented to you as if I was a cat and this idea was a dead mouse:

Scent is incredibly important in the world of omegaverse. Interestingly, it is a well documented, if not necessarily well known or publicized, that pups actually have the best sense of smell of anyone in Omegaverse: and it does make a lot of sense! Sure, Alphas need to be able to pick up on what other Alphas feelings are so they don't accidentally cause a territory dispute (those should only be done intentionally), but don't necessarily need a vastly more well developed nose compared to the other two dynamics to pick out when an Omega is in heat - if they are interested, the Omega will let them know with actions as well as scent.

What this kind of thing means, very broadly speaking, is that while all dynamics have fairly good senses of smell when it comes to identifying this person or that person or picking up on some of the more strong emotions, being able to tell what someone else's dynamic is can be nigh on impossible with even a mild scent blocker... Unless you're a pup. Because it is incredibly useful, especially in the past when people weren't perhaps as civilized as they are now, to be able to tell quickly and with very high accuracy whether the person you are approaching for help was an Alpha that may be territorial or aggressive, a Beta with little 'pull' in their pack (remember, only things developed tens of thousands of years ago before society was even a thing), or an Omega who is vastly more likely to be protective and nurturing toward pups, and also hopefully has milk.

So! The point to which I am building up: Tim had been hiding that he's an Omega for whatever reason - maybe he's worried old style sexism would have prevented Bruce from letting him be Robin, or maybe he was worried about the optics of a young Omega boy hanging out with a pack of Alphas (Alfred is a beta, but outsiders generally just consider him the help so he wouldn't really count). Heck, maybe Tim just thought it was funny that he managed to hide his secondary gender from Batman... And then Damian shows up

He's small and angry and secretly scared about having a place in a pack of Alphas. Even the Beta, Timothy, is supposedly incredibly skilled and competent according to his grandfather. So Damian is ready to bite people (Dick and Jason mostly), because one thing the League taught him was that the proper response to fear and unease is violence against the thing causing that feeling. So Damian had been at the manor for a couple days, everyone is stressed and snapping at each other, when Tim finally returns from a mission/hangout with YJ. Damian is prepared to meet this final rival for his father's regard with violence, sneaking up on him when Tim is alone after being deprived of the Damian situation... Except he gets one tiny whiff of Omega and is instantly calmed. The pack Omega would never harm him or allow one of the Alphas to do so! So instead of attacking, Damian allows his footsteps to be heard -sneaking up on his new Mama wouldn't make the best impression- and as soon as he has Tim's attention he basically plastered himself against him.

Tim is shocked and confused, because everyone had been warning him about what a vicious little hellion Damian was, and here was that same pup greeting Tim for the first time with a big hug! He becomes alarmed fairly quickly though when Damian starts tugging on his shirt and making cute puppy noises asking for milk (getting an Omega to feed them is a sure fire way for a pup to quickly create an affectionate and protective bind with said Omega). Pups being able to identify dynamics regardless of scent blockers isn't a secret or anything, it just almost never comes up because most people aren't trying to hide like Tim is. So now Tim is conflicted because he wants to feed and bond with the pack pup, but he's also been lying to said pack for years and isn't sure how to explain himself.

I picture Tim convincing Damian to keep it a secret (not that Damian needed convincing: if no one else knows Tim is an Omega, there is no risk of one of the Alphas trying to take Tim's attention or get him pregnant!) and the rest of the bats are confused. Why doesn't Damian like them but seem to love Tim? (Obviously Tim is very lovable, but that's beside the point!) It can't be because he's a Beta, because Damian has been just as rude and standoffish to Alfred and Steph. Dick is particularly hurt because he's a nice person! Strangers and pups usually like him, so why doesn't the new pack pup 😫! It's not fair! Tim and Damian sleep together every night, and Dick would love a chance to cuddle his sweet beta brother Timmy and new pup brother. (and No, Dick (and Bruce and Jason) have never had any dreams or fantasies about Tim being an Omega and getting mated! Sure, they could do that anyway except alpha/beta matings can be painful for a bottom beta because they're not really meant for knots, and he/they love Timmy too much to risk hurting him. So stop asking!)

Tim and Damian's sleepovers are just a perfect excuse for Tim to get to relax and be himself and take off the scent blockers, while Damian gets a bell full of milk and cuddles from someone he knows he can trust in this new place: his new Mama would never let anything happen to him, up to and including being sent back to the League!

How do the rest of the family find out about Tim? Maybe he forgets to put his patches back on one morning, maybe Damian calls him Mama in front of them by accident... Or maybe it's after Damian presents and someone walks in on him knotting Tim for the first time, panting and growling about how it's now his turn to look after and protect his mama. The fallout is honestly not as bad as Tim had been worried about: his reasoning is considered silly but understandable so no one's really angry about that. Mostly, they're just annoyed at how much sex and knotting they've missed out on thinking they were protecting Tim! ( Damian is of course Very Unamused at having to share his Omega - he didn't have to share before, why does he have to stay now!?

a gift 🐁!!! i love this so much!!!! one thing i love about omegaverse is how the world has a direct impact on the story- pups having an incredible sense of smell would make so much sense given their needs! and damian immediately forming a connection and trying to bond with the only omega/his new mother who will make sure nothing happens to him in this den full of alphas!!

i LOVE the idea that no one figures out tim's an omega until they literally come home one day and the manor is filled with the scent of an omega very clearly getting mated and of course they do a tally and realize who is present and who is not, they realize the scent is coming from damian's room and initially think oh he's fucking a little omega and then are very quickly filled with horror because oh no damian's fucking a little omega. and that's a very BAD thing, for an alpha, even one as young and freshly presented as damian, to fuck another pack's omega without a packhead's permission that is, at best, a brawl on the front lawn sort of confrontation with the other packhead and at worst a lawsuit and damian ending up on an offender registry so damian fucking a strange omega is very bad for SO many reasons and so they burst in because if they put a stop to it they can save damian from putting himself in a very bad situation. but then they burst in and the squirming whining omega laying bellyside down on damian's bed and getting roughly mated by a panting damian is a drooling and whining tim- tim who they all thought was very much a beta!

it's just so good!!!

[the-nobody-tournament]

tired of tournaments where the well-known characters always win?

this tournament is on an indefinite hiatus, but in the meantime if you want an adoptable contestant of your very own, send me proof of a donation to this fundraiser! the details are in the linked post.

UPDATE: i don't care if you want adoptables or not, THE SHEHAB FAMILY NEEDS FUNDS. this fundraiser has existed for months now and still isn't near its goal. there are lives at stake here, including young children's lives.

if you're a palestinian trying to escape genocide, yes, i will share your fundraiser. i'll also draw something for you if you ask—just let me know what you want. the art will be sent to you privately for you to do what you want with.

well guess what? in this tournament, NO ONE knows the contestants! not even me, the one running the show! all we've got is these little one-note descriptions that look like someone was trying to brainstorm some ocs, but stopped after a single trait or trope!

...huh? what's that?

well folks! apparently, even our contestants themselves don't have any more information about themselves! so what do you say we give them a hand with that? after every round of eliminations, a form will open for each remaining contestant where people can suggest an additional trait for them! the top ten suggestions for each will be put into an inter-poll (not interpol, FUCK the police) where our followers can vote on what gets added to who! the further a contestant gets in the tournament, the more developed they will become!

as for the grand prize, for the contestant that grows above all the others, what else would we give them but a name? that's right! the victor of our little nobody tournament will no longer be a nobody!

there are a few ground rules to keep in mind, of course!

these are nobodies! that means they don't have any links to any existing media! don't send in "firebender" as a trait, or it'll just get ignored! instead, try something media-agnostic like "controls fire!"

i don't want to see any trait submissions that have to do with pedophilia, incest, -isms, cults, or a contestant being an abuser.

fanart and interpretations of characters during the course of the contest are more than welcome! you can tag them with "#nobody tournament 2023" and i'll be sure to reblog! do keep in mind of course that other people won't necessarily see the characters the same way you do, and it's possible that future traits might contradict your original headcanons.

all characters generated by this tournament are the collective property of tumblr, and are free for anyone to do anything with, though i'd appreciate it if you linked back to the tournament so more people can discover it! and whatever you do, i definitely want to see it!

you can view the results of the elimination thus far and those of the trait selection at the provided links! check the #intros tag or the directory to see all the contestants, and you can keep an eye on the bracket at this link!

right now, we're starting off round 3's eliminations!

look through #creations or #headcanons to see things people have made for the tournament! need help or advice for writing a contestant? check #resources or send a request to be tagged under #open questions!

tumblr user @magistius has also put together a fan doc tracking the tournament! you can find a link to the post about it right here!