#not to be a 'live in the moment' bitch because i do understand why people want to film

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Hear me out instead of a jealous Ruhn it’s a jealous FRIEND reader.

This is sad… sorry 🥲

I give up on us

He wasn’t necessarily an attention whore but Ruhn loved when the whole room had eyes on him. At time of course. And while there were moments where you could laugh at his behavior. The careless sense of freedom he radiated. Much more often his actions just made you jealous. It was stupid. You knew it. Because what could you possibly be jealous of? He wasn’t your boyfriend. Had made it painfully clear that you both were friends. “Love having you as a friend you know”, those words still made your gut reach.

Walk into the kitchen you try to shake off the crappy mood. After all the boys had given you a heads-up about the party. So you had come home prepared to walk into chaos. While you weren’t a fan of Sea of People you could understand why boys loved it. It was great to disappear in the sea of people and equally as much bask in the attention.

Spotting both Declan and Flynn you slowly make your way to them. Letting the comfort of their embraces chase the tension in your body. “Where is Ruhn?”, your eyes scanned the living room over and over again. Trying to find the shit-eating grin. “Oh you will not like it, doll”, Dec whispered, down another shot while Flynn shot daggers at his friend.

“What is that supposed to mean?”, you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Look, he is pretty high…”, “I didn’t ask for the back story. I asked where he was”, you cut him off, frowning. Flynn’s eyes grow sympathetic as he nods towards the back terrace. You take a deep breath before yanking the door open, heart tumbling to your heels almost immediately. The blonde jumped back. Lips puffed as she glared up at you.

“What the fuck, bitch”, she grumbled, pulling her shirt back over her breasts. “Y/N”, Ruhn growled, rubbing a hand over his face. “Oh, don’t let me stop you”, you hissed, shaking your head. You knew that the fact that he had been slithering into your bed for cuddles for the last month meant nothing. But there was still that stupid part of you…

“Baby, come on”, Ruhn pushed the girl off his lap. “Baby? You said you were single”, the blonde shrieked.

A part of you wanted to unload a shit tonnes of hell on her but she wasn’t the one to blame. So you turned on your heels. Walking past your two other friends who looked as sad and disappointed. But you raised a hand at them not wanting to listen to anyone. You were done. You should have moved out a long time ago. Should have put a stop to this mess.

“Get out of the car”, Rhun growled right as you started your engine. You fixed him a glare, daring him to try you but he stepped right in front of your car. Messing the only way out was to drive him over. “Kill the engine, Y/N”, he grunted. “Fuck yourself backward, asshole”, you slapped your hand on the signal. But you barely managed to blink before he rounded the car. Leaning in through the open window and yanking the keys out.

“Go back to your pussy of the night”, you hissed, trying to grab the keys out of his hands, failing miserably. “What the fuck is up with you tonight”, Ruhn grumbled, eyes blazing. “What’s wrong with me?”, you chuckled bitterly, kicking the door shut behind you, “you know what’s wrong with me”, you bit back.

Ruhn’s face blanched slightly. Of course, he didn’t realize it. Fucking boys. “You and your games and all this shit”, you pushed at his chest, “why the hell have you been coming to my room, hm?”, you pointed a finger at him. “Because I… you bring me comfort”, he shrugged. But you just shook your head, “Can’t that blonde bimbo do the same? Or am I some pity booty call to you”, you hated how fast your eyes started stinging. But you weren’t gonna break. No. You would not let him take the last bit of your dignity too.

“What…”, Ruhn huffed, “You’re my friend we are always there for each other”, he lifted his hands in the air. You let out a grown, “That fucking word!“, it felt like you should be ripping your hair out, “I have feelings for you, idiot!”, you whimpered.

You could practically see the moment all the puzzle pieces finally fell into place for him. He swallowed thickly, turning away from you. But that only made the anger bubble up more. Yanking his shirt you pulled him back, “Look me in the eyes when you break my heart at least”, you hissed. But his eyes were lost and dazed as he looked back at you, “Y/n”, he muttered as if it physically pained him.

Fear flushed through you in that moment. A realization that you actually couldn’t watch him break you apart. “Forget it”, you breathed, “Just save it. I already know what you will say”. You snatched the keys from his hands, moving back towards your car. “Let me fucking talk”, Ruhn pulled at your arm but you yanked it free from his grip. “I gave up on you… on us tonight”, you whispered, lip wobbly, “Nothing you will say will make me change my mind”. Ruhn pulled back as if you had physically burned him, jaw clenched tightly. He opened his mouth one last time and you hoped he would not listen to you. To fight regardless of your words but instead, he turned back, practically running back into the house.

[idontplaytrack]

“All Mine.”

Janis ‘Imi’ike x overweight fem! reader

Warnings: coarse language, mentions of violence, eating disorders, bit of angry & protective Janis, smut ending

Part 2 of “Don’t Say Forever”, Janis returns to school the next day and goes up against the apex predator. The one who started it all, the one who made school like hell for reader. But all’s well that ends well.

The next day, you stayed home from school, heeding her advice You were simply so done that you didn’t even think of going to school. So when she told you to stay home, you almost immediately agreed. At least you’d have a day of peace instead of having to face those feelings and people. And so, she gets picked up by Damian and they drove to school together.

“Did either of you get any sleep last night?”

“Oh, she slept good.” Janis says with a soft sigh, “I didn’t really sleep.”

“Girl, why the hell not?”

“Because I was up thinking about what to do about the whole bullying/name-calling situation since the school refused to do anything and is still allowing it all to happen right under their noses.”

“Mrs. Norbury did after you both left— Regina was speechless. Everybody was. It was quiet for the first time since everything started. Like— I’ve been telling people to shut the fuck up, you have too, but they never really lasted. But yesterday? That was something else.”

“Regina wouldn’t just stop like that. You don’t know her like I did.” Janis scoffs, “The only way we can win, is by overtaking her on the ‘food chain’.”

“And how do you suggest we do that?”

“We poach her girls.” Janis answered confidently, “y/n told me that Gretchen talked to her yesterday. Saying that Regina calls her what, ‘little miss overthinker’ while talking shit about her— she knows. She’s not that stupid. She’s not that bad. We can convince her to come onto our side instead.”

Damian nodded, “Okay, good. Let’s…do that. And I feel like Aaron can be on our team too, honestly. I’ve seen him check on her and just…glare at some of those miserable minions.”

“Great, more people on our side the better. I still need to talk to that bitch directly though. I tried to once and remember? She screamed bloody murder and tried to get me into trouble.”

“Oh, honey that was a fucking mess.”

“Like— okay, after all of that, I get why y/n’s keeping quiet about this with me. It’s a difficult thing to be going through and sharing but I would rather she talk to me so she can get it off of her mind than have it constantly weighing down on her, you know? I tell her that all the time and she says okay but it never really works.”

“Be patient with her. I know you are doing that but please continue to be.” Damian says.

Janis only nodded then looked out the window.

“Is anyone at home with her?”

“Her Mom is, for the morning. We talked late last night— I finally told her who started the whole bullying thing. But that y/n’s alright at the moment…I’m hoping. She knew that y/n was getting bullied because y/n told her. Not in detail, though. But that’s changed now.”

“Right, it’s good that her Mom’s aware so she can help instead of being upset that y/n’s acting all ‘distant’ or upset. It’s so good that she understands.”

“She told the school first. They claimed there was nothing going on.” Janis recalls, “Then we told them— one ‘investigation’ later? Nothing and yet here we are.”

“Mrs. Norbury risked her job to talk to the school during assembly. That’s ridiculous— she’s doing the right thing.”

“The school’s fucked up. What’s it gotta take for them to finally listen? Lost lives?”

The remainder of the drive was silent, with Damian’s playlist being the only thing heard for the next ten minutes. Damian parks his car then they both walk into school together. The very first person Janis sees…is none other than Regina George. Just the person she needed to see.

“What, freak?” The blonde snarked.

“You are so pathetic to have to find meaning in your life by demeaning other people.” Janis began, “We’re one foot out of high school and you’re still acting like you’re better than others? Shit, the real world sucks and you’d better pray your eyes open up soon enough for you to see it. You wouldn’t last a day in the shoes of anyone else.”

“In the real world, not everyone’s gonna like you.” She said back cockily.

“Yeah? Sure. Not everyone’s going to be bullying someone just ’cause they have nothing else to say so they pick on their weight, and every little thing. No sane person pays that much attention to someone they claim to hate!”

Janis immediately went on her to homeroom with Damian after that, not wanting to let Regina have a chance to respond. When she approached the room, Ms. Norbury was waiting outside. She then stopped her from entering so they could talk. Damian went right in and greeted Mr. Duvall as he walked to his desk.

“I talked to the students yesterday. A lot of them spoke up against Regina, some stayed quiet but they chattering stopped after that. If you or Damian, or y/n hear anything about anything or anyone. I will not hesitate to report them. Every single one of them. If I have to type or write their names until my hands fall off, I will if that’s what it takes to make the school safer.”

“Thank you.” Janis says. Today’s been the most peaceful day in months— no murmuring, pointing of fingers and snickering. But yet, Janis was still furious. “I take it she won’t be coming into school today. Tell her to take all the time off she needs— I’ll have her teachers send her homework home with you.”

“Regina started it. Right in front of our faces.” Janis tells her, “On y/n’s very first day back after her time off last year due to her eating disorder. So, Mrs. Norbury, I am very angry. I am very protective of the girl I love. She has been through enough.”

“Janis, I understand your frustration and it’s absolutely justified. Please don’t engage with Regina anymore. We’ve called for her Mom to come down so we can talk.”

“What’s talking gonna do?”

“We’ll suspend her. She could even be facing expulsion.”

“I talked to her earlier. I didn’t threaten her, I did not hit her. That’s it, i just talked. I had to say something.”

“Okay.” Mrs. Norbury acknowledges.

“Okay.” Janis nodded curtly then walked into class and say down beside Damian.

While Janis and Damian’s days have started, you’d barely just woken up from your sleep. You washed up and trudged downstairs to see that your Mom had made you breakfast. “Morning, Mom.”

“Morning, darling.” Your Mom smooches you on the cheek. You sat down, grabbing your cutlery and digging into the food.

“Janis must’ve talked to you, hasn’t she?” you asked knowingly. Why else would she still be at home on a Wednesday morning? She worked 9 to 5.

“I asked her about it. She didn’t tell me everything because that’s up to you— she said. She did however tell me who started the bullying.”

“Oh.” That’s all you said, not knowing what else you could reply with. “Thanks for breakfast. I’m sorry I’ve been in a bad mood lately, it’s just been really draining to have to go to school and deal with Regina and everyone else.”

“I’m relieved you’re here with me. And that you guys are letting me understand the situation. Don’t about it.” She assured. “I get that things like that are really hard to share, but whenever you’re ready, you can talk to me about it. Even if you just want me to listen, alright?”

————

After breakfast, you curled up on the couch to watch some TV. Janis gave you a call around noon, right before her lunch break. “Hey.” You answered the call.

“Hi, love. Whatcha doing?”

“I’m lying on the couch watching The Big Bang Theory reruns.”

“Did you have breakfast yet?” Janis asked.

“Yes.” You assured, “My Mom ate together with me.”

“I’ll be right there after school.” She says with a smile, “Okay?”

“Okay.” You chuckle, “How’s school?”

“Actually good. Regina has been suspended and we now have Aaron and Gretchen in our little friend group. They were the first one to speak up against Regina when Mrs. Norbury talked to all of them during assembly.”

You scoff, “Wow. Okay, um— that— that’s good, I guess.”

“I’ll see you soon, okay? Bye-bye.” Janis says, “I love you.”

“Love you, too.” You replied and she hung up.

You didn’t have anything to do so you eventually dozed off on the couch for the next few hours. The break was much needed after all. You were a little shocked by how long you fell asleep for, because when you woke up, Janis was already in your house. “Oh, shit.” You gasped, clutching your chest, “You’re here.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you.” She grins, “I brought you some— oh, no, baby. What happened to your hand?”

“She dropped a mug while making tea for herself, tried to clean it up but the shards ended up cutting her palm.” Your Mom walked in from the backyard, “Hi, Janis.”

“Hi.” Janis gave her a little bit of a smile. “You’re so clumsy.”

“I know.” You laughed, sitting up properly. Janis sat down beside you and turned the TV back on, handing you the bag of cookies. You took it and got one out of the bag to eat. Naturally she pulls you closer and you just laid your head on her shoulder while the both of you watched TV. She had an arm snaked around your waist as she turned to press a kiss to your head. You smiled, which she saw.

“I saw that.” She teased, giving you another kiss just for the heck of it. She ends up peppering your whole face with kisses which made you laugh. Probably the first genuine one in weeks and weeks. Now face to face with her after she’d stopped kissing you, you see her eyeing your partially eaten cookie. Then, she just ate it right out of your hand. This silly little action made you laugh a lot harder than you probably should have. “I love you so fucking much.” She says while chewing the cookie in her mouth.

“I love you more.” You say back, smile still plastered on your face as the two of you leaned closer foreheads resting against each other’s.

Janis mirrors your smile, hand rubbing your back soothingly.

“Where’s my homework?” You broke the silence. She nearly cackled, “In my bag. Chill, baby. Let’s just relax for a little bit. You’re not behind on your assignments.”

Later on, your Mom headed out to get groceries for dinner tonight, leaving you and Janis home alone for a while. “Hey.” You say. “Yeah?” She asks, putting her phone away.

“You look good in my clothes.” You replied, fingers tracing random shapes on her chest as you watched her eyes.

Janis bites back a grin, cheeks flushed just a tiny bit. “Are you doing what I think you’re doing, babe?” She composed herself quickly. Given your current position where you were laid down on her stomach first. You very easily straddled her, legs bracketing her on either side. Your face inches away from hers, she keeps a firm hand on your back so you wouldn’t fall. You studied her face and eyes for an answer, she does so by putting her lips against yours and her free hand under your chin.

“Not that I’m complaining, but why—”

“Honestly, I don’t know.” You said, “Just suddenly felt in the mood.”

“Maybe we should move this upstairs.” She suggests. You nodded eagerly, climbed off her and ran up the stairs while holding onto Janis’ wrist.

“Made a little pit stop at my place after school.” Janis revealed, “I brought some toys over.”

You locked the door and shut your curtains. As you sat down, emptied her bag. It was the same bag she used for school but was now only containing the sex toys. “Three options. Take your pick and I’m gonna take my time with you.” Janis looked at you while you pondered over the choices, “I can use all three of them on you, too if that’s what you want.”

You were just suddenly…horny and she was more than happy to help you. Not that she doesn’t, but this was just a little different because she usually initiated it. And this time, her eyes…they tell you that she was patient. Not so much in a rush to touch you all over the place. She wanted to know what you wanted, then she’d do it. Usually, things heated pretty quickly, but this was going to be something else. Janis had caught you at the very beginning of your getting in the mood to be intimate.

You picked the strap and a vibrating wand. She left the insertable vibe alone, got ahold of the wand and told you to lie down. You did, and then she carefully slid off your pyjama pants and underwear. “Legs open, baby.”

You automatically did as she told you to, looking up at the ceiling in the midst. Hearing the vibrator get switched on, it gets held against your clit in the next few seconds. You kept your eyes closed in order to feel it more intensely and have that be your main focus. The buzzing sensation was then mixed in with pleasure as it started to course through you gradually. You knew Janis was watching you grow wetter, she will always do that. But now her attention was being a great help in having your arousal grow. “Does it feel good, my love?” Janis chuckled over her words, moving herself down she could start kissing you at the same time. You whined as a reply, instantly giving her all she needed to know. She keeps the wand at the same speed but pressed it harder against your clit every now and then to make you squirm.

“Do you want me to use my hands?” Janis asks, while breaking away from a rather long kiss. You hummed and nodded your head in approval, kissing her again immediately. The kiss keeps deepening, the vibrator gets put down on the bed, getting replaced by her fingers— pumping in and out of you at just the pace you needed.

Janis broke away after awhile and chose to sit down between your legs, fingers still hard at work. Well, she was actually being so very gentle with you. It kind of made you a little crazier than her more common approach. You sounded like a needy little girl under her touch, yearning for more of her despite what she was already doing. This felt more sensual than sinful, if it had to be described.

“Are you sure you want to try the strap, my love?” She asks softly, fingers starting to go deeper with each thrust. “Mm— mhm.” You managed to tell her. “Okay.” She said back, one hand starts to massage your breast. You let out a low moan that you quickly tried to stop by chewing on your lower lip.

She was probably going so slowly because she had guess that you’d be afraid you Mom would be able to hear you two if she were to get home before you finished. But it was exactly what you wanted anyway— you swear, it was like this girl could read your mind or something. When your noises became more frequent, she slowly pulled her fingers out and gave you the wand to hold against your clit. “I’m just gonna put on the strap. I’m not going anywhere— you can see me.” She promised. You nod your head, watching her with semi-closed eyes. The constant, steady pleasure was so satisfying, and absolutely relaxing for you.

Now with the harness securely on, she took the wand away and her fingers returned, so did her kisses. So tender, but purposeful. You were a whiny mess, she was being so soft with you, it riled you up even more to be seeing this side of her.

“You’re all mine, princess.” Janis chuckles into the kiss, “All mine…I’m so lucky.”

Fuck. You whimpered into the kiss and your tongue slowly slid into her mouth, she reciprocates, kissing you back with the same fervour.

“Are gonna keep making those cute little noises for me?”

As if you could answer that. Janis smirked, continuing to kiss you a little while longer before you feel her moving the tip of the silicone shaft along your folds. You licked your lips, pursing them together while watching her in anticipation. You sent a nod of approval her way, not knowing what to expect having never tried it before. You feel everything, the stretching as it enters you, how bizarre it seemed to be, and how uncomfortable it was. Janis saw your face contorting and just stopped moving. You yelped. “It hurts.” You told her honestly. “Okay.” She backs away and the toy leaves you. “Do you wanna stop?” She asks, worriedly.

“No.” You decided, taking in a deep breath.

“Alright.” She agrees, “Let’s try a different position, okay? After I get the lube.”

“Okay” You muttered. The pain didn’t make you lose interest in finishing, you still felt aroused, just maybe ready to never use the strap again after today if it was still uncomfortable. Not everything’s going to work for everyone, after all. There was a lot she could do to achieve the same results. Janis very quickly returns and squeezed some lube onto the silicone, then onto you. You feel it drip onto your cunt then you feel Janis spreading it with her fingers, which dipped inside you just fleetingly. She feels you tighten a bit around her fingers, you see her brows raised for a moment before she flashes you a smile. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t like it.” She caresses your thigh. You nod, “I know. I just wanna try it and see if I do.” “Okay, babe- let’s try it again alright?” She said back, “On your hands and knees, y/n.”

You get into position and she lines up the strap with your entrance using her hand. You feel the tip again, then a similar stretch, less painful but more so uncomfortable. “Can I keep going?” She asks, words laced with worry.

“Yeah, do it.” You replied, she grabs your hips while pushing forward. You moaned lowly, mouth hanging open while you tried to get used to this entirely foreign sensation. “Ooh, such a good girl, baby. You’re taking me so well.” She laughs huskily while rubbing your ass, it sends a chill down your back. Janis stays still to let you adapt to it, you start to realise the tip of it has been pushing against your sensitive spot deep inside, causing the pleasure to course through your body without you even explicitly realising it. She started bucking her hips leisurely to keep things at the same intensity as it has been. You’ve been very quiet though and Janis was starting to want to hear more from you.

Every time Janis bucked her hips, you feel yourself getting closer to your high, and your ability to stay quiet die down bit by bit. More and more noises started to fall from your move with each of her thrusts, as a result of the increasing pleasure.

You weren’t sure about how much time had passed since your Mom left the house. Maybe it’s been forty five minutes, or an hour. Either way, your anxiety of getting caught in this situation was in the way of your making noise for Janis. She deliberately pushed into you harder to force the noises out of you, not giving you the time to worry. What’d you do? You grabbed another pillow and hoped it would do the job of stifling the noise that were just about to spill from your mouth.

“Take it, take it.” Janis panted, thrusting into your cunt harshly, but her pace was still pretty relaxed. “Take it, baby. I’m not done with you yet, are you close?”

You groaned into the pillow, giving her a muffled ‘maybe’. She pulls out the most she could after hearing what you said, then no longer pushing into fully to deprive you from what you needed for a short time so she could build up your desire. You knew what she was doing, and why, but of course, with your orgasm approaching you weren’t happy about the idea of edging because you needed hell of a lot more than what she’d been giving you, to come already.

“I need to come.” You told her pathetically, your cheek pressed against the pillow. You feel feeling yourself aching and clenching around nearly nothing— those weren’t nice feelings to be experiencing.

“Say please?” Janis cooed, “Be a good girl and say please, then I’ll let you.” She was still thrusting inside you, but not even halfway through.

You cried a little bit as much as her pet name for you made you blush. You were feeling so damn desperate and wound up that you only had the goal of a release in your mind. The pleasure was immense, but the ache was what made you frustrated. She knew you were like that— she knew what made you squirm, what made you whine and whimper and moan and she was doing all she can to let the frustration build and build to the point where you had no choice but to beg.

It was beginning to feel infuriating. You mumbled something but you yourself weren’t even sure what it was.

“Speak up, love. I can’t hear you.”

That really ticked you off even though it was the truth— she couldn’t hear you.

“Make me come.” You huffed, giving into her request because it seemed to be the only way. Even though technically, no because she knew you were so close without a doubt. Janis was simply being a fucking tease. “Please.” Immediately, she slams into you, making direct contact with your g-spot easily. You cursed and swore, trying not to fall flat onto your stomach at her sudden movement while an incessant string of noises spewed from your mouth like no one’s business. Janis had a smug smile on her face, you saw it through the peripheral vision. And it clearly did something for you because you very quickly unraveled. Way harder than you’d expected to. Way harder than you did yesterday, shocking both yourself and Janis.

“Holy shit!” She shouts in a whisper, “That is so gorgeous. Damn.” You gave her a shaky whine as she continues to pull you in and push you away, stimulating you to the point where you saw stars. You were still coming— you could feel the damn slick dripping down your thighs. Bordering on overstimulation, the ache in your cunt became more evident, the tears pricking your eyes? A couple of them fell against your will.

Hearing how fucked out you were, Janis pulled out completely after a few minutes and letnyou catch your breath. Ditching the harness, you were then met with the warmth of her tongue. Slow and soft teasing flicks going over each and every part of your overheated pussy. She was absolutely just savouring you like you were a goddamn full-course meal. Now this, was your last straw, the most intense and intimate thing — in your opinion that she’s done since the start of this ‘session’. It did not take you even half as long to come a second time, it took Janis by surprise, but she happily continued and even cleaned you off the same way— being extra, extra gentle of course.

“How was that?” She asks while lying on you, on her stomach as she grins. You bounced your leg, giving her a tiny taste of what you felt. “You’re amazing.” You stated, hand combing through her hair.

“So are you, baby.” She presses a kiss to your lips, you inevitably tasted yourself on them. Though for some reason it startled you and it made her laugh. “Aww.” She teases, brushing the slightly sweaty hair out of your face, “Maybe I should get you used to tasting yourself, what do you think?”

“I’m thinking maybe I should return the favour.” A smirk started to form on your face, “I know you talked to Regina, so don’t even try to deny it. Thank you.”

“Ohh.” Janis looked at you with slightly wide eyes, “I’m not gonna say no to that, baby. Like I said, I’d kill for you. Talking to her is no big deal.”

“Please don’t do that. That’s not good.” One could argue she was joking, but was she capable of something like that? Absolutely. Were you worried? A little. Would she do it? You hoped not.

“I promise.” Janis chuckles into the kiss. “I love you too much to get myself into shit like that.”

🏷️ Tag list:

@ashecampos @auliisflower @cheesysoup-arlo @frogs00 @reneeswif3 @ludoesartnstuffs @pda128

💭A/N: I honestly only started this draft bc I was bored so it is honestly not up to my usual standard at all but hey, enjoy😙

[nettlestingsoup]

kard was SO FUN but honestly people need to be FAR more mindful of their phones at gigs. i get that you want to film for friends or for memories or whatever other reason, but every time a song starts and a hundred phones go up it makes it REMARKABLY difficult to actually see the stage.

[hellofears]

having issues with men, the associations the instant distrust, which i dont like i dont want it i want things to be different, just all of it so much just the dynamic i have the relationship all of it the way the world is atleast online and having a younger brother. I wouldn't trade him for the world, I try and talk to him where I can and will continue to do so i adore him but i fear. i believe in him i want joy for him. I fear that his peers will feed him fckn brainrot and it scares me. not even just that he'll fall into that thinking that his fuckn upstanding that his unwillingness to follow ppl will hurt him. crazy shit at schools, like why tf r ppl dying kids young teens killing eaachother with knives? ??I don't want to loose him i don't want to see him loose who he is and the heart that he has i don't and i hope he rises above it all and will continue to. i feel like im stating what he has to be or smth but all i could ask for is his wellbeing, respect, humanity, that he treats himself well know what he deserves and has some sense of self, some gravity. I feel like shit sometimes for this aspect that i'm concerned that i just idk, i dont like the whole 'dont disappoint me' thing he owes nothing to me other than basic human decency and respect, hes a reason why i live but to i just that intrusive thought of there is no different the hell u think of is real about men to someone i hold so fckn dear to in a way show me their fckn fuckery its idk, like another? it'd hurt me, it'd hurt me bad.

i've never understood men or boys, amab, who go on about their connection or like protectiveness of their sisters of their mother but treat other women like shit like their familiars aren't women? you don't want to fuck them so its different? what is it like just whats the difference why does it have to pertain to you for you to care? do you care or do you see them as an extension? is it a personality trait for you? a 'lover boy' thing? a signal to women, women u imagine u want and is going to be 'ur woman' but u cant even like visualize them in a way that doesnt pertain to your sexual interests? a signal so people can say oh he loves his mother so hes good to go and prime? a 'mummys boy' ? are they not real women just because u dont feel that sort of way? talking about women that way with your friends? do i have to bring up the fact those same people could date your sister etc for you to care? those people could make the kids that surround your kids, your daughter. idk.

its like okay u want sex so u respect them less? did no one hear dont bite the hand that feeds you? what the fuck is going on. you cant fuck them so its all good? the demeaning-ness? lack of gravity, venom is just rapid, vapid

[ironunderstands]

The way some of yall mischaracterize Ratio as being stoic in chill when in reality he is 24/7 resisting the urge to rip everyone around him a new one is crazy to me like. He cares so much, so much. It’s unhealthy, he loses the idgaf war every time because Ratio is the least nonchalant person ever like

He was this close to breaking character and throttling Sunday like you cannot tell me he wasn’t planning a murder in this scene. Ratio straight up calls Sunday a crazy bitch but everyone brushed it aside 😭

Honestly his entire conversation with Screwllum is just him tweaking, watch it on YouTube the VAs performance is amazing, you can here just how much He Cares

Genuinely, Aventurine is way better at concealing his true feelings that Ratio. Ratio may be acting for the sake of the plan but the way he truly feels about anything he’s doing always seeps through, it’s why he apologizes to Aventurine in 2.0 in their staged argument scene. It’s why he is as mean to Sunday as he can be. It’s why him pretending that he “hates” Aventurine makes him act so silly. Ratio can’t fully commit to the bit, he can’t force himself to not care or to be someone he isn’t, because fundamentally Ratio CARES and that is something he is incapable of hiding, alabaster bust or not.

The problem is that him expressing his care is often done in a rude and/or blunt manner which people tend to interpret as stoicism or apathy when it’s anything but. Ratio’s vial that he gives to Aventurine is short, sweet and gets straight to the point, because that’s the easiest way for Ratio to express his emotions, even if it’s often detrimental for him and anyone else around him. However Aventurine understands him quite well, and knows that although brief, Ratio telling him to “stay alive, survive this and keep on living” is how he truly feels towards Aventurine, and that’s enough to keep him going.

Underneath Ratios carefully crafted marble facade is a man who cares so much and is so bad at expressing it and I wish the community in general, especially Aventio shippers would acknowledge that more. Ratios true moments of sincerity are brief, but they are anything but stoic. Let the man be soft, it’s in character.

[teapartyprincess4two]

omg can you make a chris version to the talkative fic? my english isn’t very good i apology if this doesn’t make sense!

Talkative- C. Sturniolo

pairing: Yapper!reader x Boyfriend!Chris

classification: SFW & NSFW headcannons

inspiration: request^^

warnings: some 18+ content, use of y/n, established relationship

summary: head cannons of Chris with a talkative, yapper girlfriend!

Talkative- M. Sturniolo (Matt’s Version)

Talkative- N. Sturniolo (Nick’s Version)

—

☆ SFW

You love to talk and that’s something Chris has loved about you from the moment he met you. He, much like you, is extremely extroverted, but every girl he’s talked to in the past has always found him to be too much. You’re his perfect match and although he also likes to talk, he loves to listen too.

☆ Chris never gets tired of hearing you talk, “Babe tell me the story about the teddy bear again.”

☆ You retell stories in such a detailed way that he can’t help but burst into laughter even if he’s heard it before.

☆ When you talk about your friends, it’s like you’re explaining their lore in full detail each time.

☆ “No, babe, that was Savannah. I’m talking about Teala,” or “Dude, I’m telling you that’s why they fired that bitch.”

☆ He has all the characters memorized, even categorizing their lives into arcs, episodes, and seasons.

☆ “Wow Teala is in her villain arc,” and “On this weeks episode of, Who the Fuck is Getting Fired!”

☆ He loves asking you questions because you somehow know the answer to everything.

☆ You’ll be eating dinner and suddenly a random question will pop into his mind, “Y/n, what does litigate mean? I heard someone use it today, sounded fancy.”

☆ You look up at him mid bite, slightly confused but also intrigued at a new topic of conversation.

☆ “I think it has something to do with the law, I don’t know, babe. But one time I heard someone say that on one of those court shows…” you drone on for a while.

☆ Chris always Googles the answers afterwards, not because he doesn’t believe you, but because he truly thinks you’re the smartest person on this planet and you haven’t been wrong yet.

☆ You’re both equally insane, you’ll laugh like crazy people no matter where you are.

☆ You tell the best jokes too, your mind works so fast that you’re able to create comebacks and quick, witty remarks to everything he says.

☆ Sometimes you’ll join him and his brothers on grocery trips, and the both of you wander off just completely in your own world.

☆ You’re the only person who can catch Chris off guard.

☆ You’ll say something completely unexpected and outlandish, causing him to pause whatever he’s doing and stare at you in shock.

☆ “Babe! No way you just said that.”

☆ “I said it, and I’ll say it again.”

☆ When you’re with friends, you tend to talk over each other and your friends almost break their necks switching their attention between you and Chris.

☆ To other people it might seem like you’re fighting each other for the spotlight, but in reality you’re able to bounce off each other’s energy and add on to whatever the other says.

☆ He knows what it’s like to be called annoying, so if anyone ever makes you feel uncomfortable for being talkative he defends you without hesitation.

☆ “Watch your fucking mouth. Don’t say shit like that about her.”

☆ Every conversation you have is full of inside jokes that no one else can keep up with, and it’s literally something new every week.

☆ Although other people are confused by the jokes, you and Chris understand each other fully, almost like you speak your own made up language.

☆ You make each other laugh so hard that your cheeks and ribs will start hurting.

☆ “Chris stop! I’m gonna pee,” you wheeze, rolling over on your side as you try to catch your breath.

☆ He keeps going though, making you laugh harder by making silly faces and funny voices through his story.

☆ After long days of filming and being away from you, he’ll cuddle up next to you in bed and murmur through the drowsiness, “Talk to me baby.”

☆ You know he’s tired so you don’t talk his ear off at a high energy, you just retell your day and play with his hair, kissing his face between sentences.

☆ He loves the sound of your voice, each word as sweet as honey, instantly lulling him into a peaceful sleep.

☆ You’re very opinionated and sometimes you say something he disagrees with, instantly creating a debate between the two of you.

☆ The debates always start off innocent, just you two going back and forth with opinions and the occasional fact.

☆ It’s not until it gets personal that Chris gets upset, giving you the silent treatment until you’re begging for him to talk to you again.

☆ “Chris, I’m sorry! Just talk to me, I’m so bored without you!” He tries putting on a tough guy act, but it never lasts long so he’s forgiving you within seconds.

☆ When you’re around older people, they always comment on what a nice, kind couple you two are because you engage in conversation with everyone.

☆ “What a nice old lady,” Chris says, slinging an arm around you as you both walk away.

☆ “Such wisdom,” you chime in, both of you falling into a fit of laughter. You could never take anything serious.

☆ NSFW

☆ Chris knows not to look too into your conversations with other guys, but sometimes he can’t help but get jealous.

☆ He’ll lose you at a party and find you talking to a stranger, an excited aura surrounding you as you jump from topic to topic.

☆ When he sees the guy becoming too comfortable and touchy, he makes his way over to you and inserts himself in the conversation.

☆ Later, he’s fucking you to teach you a lesson and clamping a strong hand over your mouth to keep you quiet, “This dirty little mouth of yours got you in trouble, Princess.”

☆ Other times he just gets turned on by your voice.

☆ He wants you to talk him through the sex and guide him on what positions you want.

☆ “C’mon baby, tell me how bad you want it.”

☆ Despite you both being talkative, there’s times when you’re so fucked out you’re speechless.

☆ The only sound that fills the room is skin slapping and Chris’s animalistic grunts, followed by your whimpers and small squeaks.

☆ He relishes in it, “This dick has you speechless, huh?”

☆ All he gets in response is a whimper, as you claw at his back for support.

☆ Chris loves when you dirty talk him, using your words to say filthy things to him.

☆ It riles him up beyond belief, and if you keep it going he’s lasting at least 3 rounds.

☆ Afterwards, he loves cuddling or spooning, both of you talking for hours about your future together.

—

MASTERLIST

A/n:

Happy birthday to me! (It was yesterday at this point)

Thank you for this request and NEVER apologize for your English/ grammar. I’m a bilingual education major and I firmly believe you don’t need to apologize for that EVER. I luv u!

Also I’m bilingual (English & Spanish) If any of yall ever want to send in a request in Spanish, go ahead bbys! LOS AMO 💋💋💋

Lastly, I’ll admit that this was harder to write than Matt’s version idky

- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗

—

taglist: @nicksmainbitch @sturniololovers @mayhem-72 @worldlxvlys @gnxosblog @meg-sturniolo @creamoncreamoncream2 @mattnchrisworld @sanyi5 @lustfulslxt @whicked-hazlatwhore @tworosesblackthorn @mxqdii @fawned01 @junnniiieee07

note: if you want to be tagged in my fanfic related posts, you can access my TAGLIST and comment 💐

[lizthewriter]

general theodore nott headcanons

• theo is the textbook defintion of dark academia

• his wardrobe is only filled with varying shades of black, grey, brown, and green; he mostly wears suits, but when he wants to feel comfortable, he'll thrown on a knit sweater

• he is very quiet - around people he doesn't know, he doesn't speak; around his friends, even, he doesn't speak too much

• he is highly intelligent; he's literally right up there with hermione, top of the class

• does a lot of free reading - mostly nonfiction but will tell no one about the romance novels hiding under his mattress

• sleeps around because parent issues - even though he doesn't really speak, he still gets bitches . . . probably because he is handsome af and also cause when he does speak, he is smooth

• he plays quidditch, though he doesn't care too much for it - when draco saw how good theo was on a broom, he begged and begged theo to join quidditch until he finally agreed

• does smoke, but would stop if you asked him too

• he is the adopted introvert . . . prove me wrong

• he's only really close with blaise, but because mattheo and blaise are best friends (by the transitive property of arithmetic), mattheo and theo are good friends too

• he's extremely protective (and slightly possessive) of the people he loves, probably because he lost his mother and he's afraid to lose the people he loves too

• scary dog privileges

• was almost sorted into ravenclaw

• loves winter and fall too much - he kind of looks out of sorts in the warmer months

• has never worn a pair of shorts in his life . . . i'm not kidding

• he's a little self-obssessed, but mostly just with his hair (you do NOT touch unless you have permission)

• he's not a hopeless romantic, but he'd do the most romantic shit and pretend like he did nothing, this mf 💀💀

• *sets up an entire romantic, home-cooked, candle lit dinner* *sits down, places napkin in his lap, and begins to eat* "well, aren't you gonna sit down?"

• doesn't tell anyone he has a crush on you

• he pines after you for ages - at first, he's kind of mad at you, cause he can't understand why he feels this way about you, but then this man is HEAD over HEELS for you

• he wants to figure out the perfect way to ask you out

• he gets really overwhelmed and stressed about it

• blaise sees theo huddled over his desk, hair all crazy, muttering like a maniac and asks him what's wrong - theo just starts shouting at blaise about you and he realizes his best friend is in love

• blaise is a good bro

• he helps theo plan the perfect date in hogsmeade - now all theo has to do is ask you out

• theo actually hasn't interacted with you too much, you have some classes together and you've been partners in potions

• he kind of just finds you after class one time and hovers behind you until your friends point him out to you

• you shook away your friends and turn to face theo - he stands completely straight and he looks obviously distressed

• "all right, nott?"

• "come to hogsmeade with me. please."

• "uh, sure. all right!"

• he takes you all around hogsmeade to anywhere you want to go

• he's not sure exactly what to do - he's never been on a date before . . . he wants to kiss you but doesn't know the perfect moment so he ends up forgoing that paticular thing

• he loves massaging - idk why, but I just feel like he would love to just run his fingers through your hair while you're cuddling or rub his back but his massages are >>>>>

• he thinks far into the future - living together, marriage, having kids, growing old

• he's a daydreamer

• he's a bit of a perfectionist too, but he never let's that side of him show to others

• everything HAS to be perfect for you

• he stops sleeping around once he gets with you, dedicates to you completely

• won't even look in the direction of another girl

• he prefers to sleep in with you - his love languages are quality time and physical touch

• he will help you study whenever you need

• will also drop any plans he has for you (hoes before bros)

• prefers to take you out to nice and exotic places for the holidays instead of having you over at his place (his father is a nightmare - he's adamant on ensuring that the two of you never cross paths)

• will propose to you spontaneously, approximately six months after being together

• he will not take no for an answer; will compromise, but he will not let you say no unless you despise him

• you are his favorite person in the world, his one and only, and you'd best remember that he's do ANYTHING for you

tags: @annaisabookworm

[clockwayswrites]

Danny/Wally, blue, mint

@Luckeykasper

WC: 547

Depending on who and when you asked someone, the Speed Force and Clockwork could be many things to each other: friends, enemies, lovers, brothers, each other, or the very same person. They were both, after all, masters of Time and that had to bring some sort of a connection. On the other hand, they both handled Time very differently from each other which more often brought conflict. Throughout all of their different labels and ever shifting moods one thing was true: the Speed Force and Clockwork were gossiping old biddies about everything and everyone that ever was or would be.

(And, if occasionally, they came together in way that no mortal mind could ever comprehend, well, then that was their business and no one else’s.)

The gossiping old biddies part is what was important in that moment. Not to most people, of course. Most people didn’t have the constitution to be aware of temporal fluctuations, and, even if they had, the current wibbliness of time really only mattered to two people: one Wally West and one Daniel Fenton. Or by other names which might matter more at the moment: Kid Flash and Phantom, the Speed Force’s chosen and Clockwork’s cog, and, most importantly, beloved pseudo-grandsons.

It’s just, the Speed Force sighed, or came as close as a cosmic entity could manage to a sigh, Wally keeps falling instantly for people that he knows are unattainable.

They sounded young right then, like a dramatic teen, and Clockwork unconsciously shifted his form to match. “If they’re unattainable, why does he fall for them?”

Because they’re unattainable. I think he’s afraid to fall for someone he could have because… because of me.

Clockwork snorted. “Isn’t that a bit egotistical?”

The space around them sparked with static. No!

“Really?”

Really! He’s afraid because of what I’ve given him! He’s not simple a person anymore— he’s a cosmic force! The static faded to a sad sputtering and then stopped. All of existence seemed to drag around them. And how often is he going to run into someone who handle that? He’s afraid of trying, my poor boy…

Clockwork nodded in commiseration. His form aged and shifted until he floated hunched over himself. “I see. Danny has become like that as his power has grown. He has pulled away from the living and dead a like. I have concerns about his bonds if it continues.”

The Speed Force jolted, reality spinning in a sudden whirl. That’s it!

“Stop that,” Clockwork ordered, wrenching things back into control with a firm hand. “What are you on about? What silly idea do you have now?”

Danny is cosmic.

“Yes,” Clockwork agreed dryly.

Wally needs someone who understands cosmic! Danny needs someone who has strong ties to the world! Wally’s whole self is saving the world. It’s perfect.

Clockwork actually took a moment to consider the thought.

You know I’m right.

“You’re never right.”

Bitch.

“But,” Clockwork said slowly. The Speed Force buzzed in anticipation. “This might at least be worth a try.”

I told you!

“They can’t suspect it’s a set up though,” Clockwork admonished quickly.

Of course not, too damn stubborn. But… it wouldn’t be too hard to make their paths cross, now would it?

“No,” Clockwork grinned. “No I don’t think that it would.”

---

AN: Okay, so we didn't actually get to Danny/Wally but this idea got in my head and lol. Idk maybe I'll continue this one at some point down the road!

[roseyuri]

⋆｡𖦹°‧ PUSHIN’ N PULLIN’ kim minji x reader

౨ৎ warnings: idol!au, 6th member reader, minji and yn argue like it’s their 9-6 job, yn is lost and minji is confused, swearing

from the moment minji and yn crossed paths during training, their connection was more like a collision. there was an instant clash of personalities that made it clear they weren't destined to be friends.

yn just didn’t like minji, there was no specific reason, there was just something about the older girl the worked her up, she was a person who never let people get to her but there was just something about minji that made her want to pull her hair down

minji didn’t like yn for the way she held herself, she was a witch dressed like cher horowitz, she was mean but somehow could manipulate her words into sounding so sweet and caring while she’s practically tearing someone apart.

but even with her sickly personality, she was still the most popular member, it was like everyone was just blinded by her face, including the other girls that they couldn’t see her for what she really is, or at least in minji’s eyes what she really is a-

“bitch,” minji said angrily to the girl who stood in front of mirror adjusting her pink polo shirt with the matching tennis skirt, “you’re such a bitch.”

“how many times do we have to do through this minji,” the younger girl states and she looks at the older through the mirror who scrunches up her face at the girl’s informality, “I know I’m a bitch, that doesn’t insult me.”

minji groaned and threw her head back at the girls words, it was like yn lived to annoy her, “can you just hurry up so I can use the washroom before we leave?”

“just one second,” yn whined before turning to face minji, “how do I look?”

minji gave her a deadpanned expression, “horrible.”

“I guess that means I look good because you have zero taste,” yn smiled at minji, “I would immediately go change if you said I looked good.” and like that she walks out the washroom leaving a raged minji.

as minji finished up in the washroom she headed out, the only thing on her mind being a good comeback for what yn said a couple minutes ago, she turns the corner to see the rest of the girls at the door.

“finally!” yn says as she links her arm with haerin, they were pretty close, something minji could never understand, it was like yn talked haerin’s ear off and haerin just entertained the girls useless thoughts, “you took forever!” minji looks at yn like she said the most diabolical thing in the word, “you were the one who took the longest!”

“was I? I don’t remember that.”

just as minji was about the launch herself at yn danielle cut in, “let’s not argue right now please, our managers are waiting for us in the car.”

minji gave yn a glare before pushing through them to open the door, “let’s go.”

as they made their way to the van, hanni, hyein, and danielle darted ahead, eagerly claiming their favorite seats in the back leaving the last three seats for yn, haerin and minji.

minji took the window seat, yn took the middle and haerin took the other window seat, minji couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the fact that the van had barely driven off and she was already talking about herself.

“so, he said that I was his ideal type on a variety show right? he said that it was because I fit his standards, that’s a compliment right?” yn immediately started rambling to haerin who raised her brows at the information yn just told her.

“it depends on what his standard is.” the cat like girl responds going on her phone to search up the male idols name, “it could be a bad thing…”

“but if I fit his standards and I am me that means that it has to be a compliment,” yn says, “I mean hello?! it’s me.”

this felt like the a hundredth time minji had rolled her eyes today because of any, she will never understand why yn entertains these male idols they never come to her for good intention, as soon as they realize how intelligent yn is they bail.

did she just call yn intelligent?

she did the mistake of telling yn her opinion on yn’s relationships, but it only led to yn saying this.

“you’re just jealous, that I get attention from cute boys.”

her jealous?! that was the most insane thing she’s ever heard come out of the mouth since she met the girl.

she tried to tune out yn’s boys problems and looked at the time, just a couple more minutes until they get to the shoot.

minji watched as yn had her phone stuck in her face as the stylist touched up her pink nike outfit for the shoot, “you’ve had your face in the phone all day, is this boy that you’re so interested that important?”

yn quietly thanked the stylist before walking past minji down the hall to get to the set, minji following closely behind her, “you do know that he’s just gonna end up like every other one right?”

yn stopped in her tracks at minji’s words at turned to face the girl, “can you not be up my ass for one second.” she snapped, walking closer to the older girl until she hit the wall.

“you don’t even know him,” she adds flashing minji a cold glare and stepping back.

“I know what he wants,” minji responds immediately, “and it’s not you, it’s your looks.” she says giving yn and even cooler glare, pushing her self off the wall and closer to yn.

“you’re just-”

“jealous?” minji cuts yn, stepping closer if that was been possible, “why would I be jealous of a boy that knows nothing about you and only wants one thing, are they really right about you not being smart?”

yn stared at minji’s face for a good second, it was like she was getting lost in the girls closeness before gently pushing minji away from her, “fuck off.”

“I’ll fuck off when you stop entertaining those idiotic boys, I already have to deal with all your other flaws.”

“so me liking boys is idiotic?” yn said defensively causing minji to look at the girl confused.

“when did I ever say you liking boys is idiotic?”

yn tried to stutter out a response, before just turning away from minji and walking down the hallway, “just don’t talk to me for the rest of week!”

minji’s confused expression melted into an annoyed one, “that’s the best thing you’ve said all day!” she yells back.

she huffs watching yn walk to the set, as much as she loved to cuss the girl off in her head, she couldn’t help but think about how weird yn acted towards the end of their argument.

it’s probably nothing.

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.3

pairing: ellie williams x fem! reader (ur a girly girl in this one!!) (she/her pronouns)

summary: you’ve won the life lottery as one of the few people on earth with parents who gained admittance to the most prestigous safezone in the world after the outbreak. but after a lab accident sends you out to jackson, wyoming, real life hits you fast. it’s a good thing that a hot lesbian finds u. (lol). mean ellie at first, slowburn, enemies to friends to lovers, fem reader asf

warnings: (PLEASE READ!) explicit language, violence, description of a medical procedure sans anesthesia, recreational drug use (idk how else to put it ellie gets absolutely zonked in the beginning), reader overthinks asf and is a little neurotic but that's why we love her x

a/n: hey guys! thank you so much for the wait! it's been genuinely insane how sweet and incredible all of you are. i've never felt so appreciated for my writing!! also, some notes: this chapter is heavily inspired by my last relationship. sorry if it's not as immersive bc of it! and also i don't have ANY medical knowledge so...cast a blind eye when u get to that scene

part 1

part 2

tags: @prettyplant0 @666findgod​ @sawaagyapong​ @rystarkov​ @buzzybuzzsposts @addisonnie @galacticstxrdust @parkersmyth @pinkazelma

wc: 6.6k

enjoy x

“One more time.”

You gave Ellie a withering look from where you were sitting at the end of her bed.

“Please,” she said, drawing out the s. “Just once more. I promise.” 

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes—a habit of hers that you were quickly picking up—and took in a deep breath. “Fuck.” 

Ellie lost it, peals of laughter bouncing off the walls. “Another one. Say something else.”

“I don’t understand why you think this is so funny,” you said.

“You say it so weird.”

“I enunciate,” you clarified. “I don’t ‘sound weird’. It’s called pronouncing every letter in the word and not having a lazy mouth.” 

“Please,” she gasped. “At least say bitch. You haven’t said that one yet.”

You looked her dead in the eye. “Bitch.”

If you weren’t already certain that Ellie was high out of her mind by the smell of her room and the general haze in the air, the way she howled with laughter and fell back on her bed would’ve made you entirely positive.

This was new. You’d begun to hang out with her in her room after dinner—that was normal—but when she’d knocked on your door smelling heavily of weed once you’d said goodnight to Joel, you were nothing less than shocked. Of course, she had none left for you. Which was probably good, because only a sober mind could navigate a night sitting on Ellie’s bed without doing something really, really stupid. 

“I can’t believe you call me weird,” you said, tucking your feet under her and giving her a pointed look. 

“You’re so lucky you didn’t grow up where I did,” Ellie said, wiping a tear away from her cheek as she tried (unsuccessfully) to rein in her giggles. “You would’ve been eaten alive, good lord.”

“What were you like as a kid?” you asked, resting your chin on your knees. 

She considered for a moment, growing more somber. “Um…I don’t know if you would’ve liked me very much.”

“What do you mean? Of course I would’ve liked you.” 

“No,” she said, swiping at her face so she pushed a strand of hair away. “I don’t think you would have.”

“Why not?”

“I was…” She paused, picking at her cuticles. “Back then I didn’t have anyone. I was an orphan, you know. My parents were never in the picture, so I was the only one I could count on.  I was really rough around the edges and could be nasty. But I probably would’ve ignored you like I did everyone else. “

“Everyone? You didn’t have anyone? No friends at all?”

Ellie blinked, and her gaze remained fixed on her hands. “Basically, yeah. I mean, there was one girl, but that’s…I don’t want to talk about that right now, actually.” 

“That’s okay,” you said, reaching forward to touch her knee. She flinched at the contact but didn’t brush you away. The image of a young, scared Ellie living somewhere alone made your chest ache. “You don’t have to tell me.” 

“What were you like?” she asked, tilting her head and meeting your eyes. 

“Hmmm…” Mirth crept into your tone. “What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Ellie echoed, her eyes cloudy as she thought. Then a small smirk formed on her face. “Oh god, were you one of those spoiled brats? Were you a mean girl?” 

“God, no,” you said, raising your eyebrows. “Not mean.”

“Then what?”

You paused. “I was really shy, I guess. And quiet, too. I didn’t do much but read for a good 10 years of my life. I used to have awful pronunciation because I would spend more time reading than talking to anyone. But I think I would’ve liked you.”

Ellie shook her head.

“Yes,” you said. “Maybe I would’ve been a little scared of you. I probably would’ve never had the courage to talk to you. But I would’ve liked you, I think.”

“Scared of me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why? I was a kid.”

“I was mostly going off of how I felt when I actually first met you,” you said, shrugging. 

She gasped theatrically. “You’re scared of me?”

“No!” you said, smacking her knee. “That’s not what I mean. You’re just really intimidating.”

“Intimidating?” She looked at you incredulously. 

“You’re so tough,” you explained, feeling heat grow in your cheeks. “You seem just—I don’t know, just so capable. There’s nothing you’re too afraid to face, nothing you’re too afraid to say.”

“That’s not true,” she said lightly. 

“Well, of course I’m sure there are things that you’re afraid of,” you amended. “But you hide it so well. You just seem so…fearless.”

“Hm,” Ellie said, letting her head rest against the headboard. “I think you would’ve made me a nervous wreck. If we’d met when we were kids, I mean.”

“Why?”

She shrugged. “I’ve never met anyone quite like you before. You’re just so untouched.” She winced. “God, no. That sounds gross. I just mean…I dunno. I wouldn’t have known how to act around you. You haven’t had to harden up like everyone else I know.”

“Are you saying I should develop trust issues or something?” you asked, your voice a teasing lilt.

“You know,” she said, nodding seriously, “That is part of it. It was really off-putting how quickly you trusted me. But I guess that’s just a product of where you grew up.” 

“Yeah,” you said softly. “I wonder how I would’ve turned out if I’d grown up like you.”

“Can I be honest?” Ellie asked. 

“Sure.”

“I don’t think you’d still be here if you were me,” she said, her eyes crinkling. “No offense. You just have zero survival skills. I swear that shit has to be genetic. I’ve never met someone more averse to violence in my life.”

You sighed, pressed your hands deep into Ellie’s comforter as a thought hit you. “I think if you’d been born in my position, you would’ve been greater than anything either of us could ever dream of. Much greater than me.”

“Definitely not,” said Ellie. “There’s no fucking way I’m studying the way you apparently do. I honestly think I’d take being an orphan over the study schedule I saw in your bag.” 

She was of course referencing the time table you’d roughly sketched up the morning before you’d ended up in Jackson. It was blocked to the minute, citing the study content and the location of said study session. She’d been beyond horrified to see it. 

You laughed, nudging her socked food with yours. 

“Is there music? In Terranova?”

“Oh,” you said, startled at the abrupt change of subject. “Uh, yeah. Of course. I listened to it all the time.” 

“I used to have a Walkman,” she said, leaning back as she reminisced. She was lying flat on her back now. “It ended up breaking a while ago, but it was like my child.” 

“Have you ever seen a movie before?” you asked, sitting up rigid straight as the thought occurred to you.

“Duh,” she said, giving you a weird look. “Do you think I live under a rock?”

“How many?”

“Hm.” Ellie began counting, ending on her second hand. “I think 6?”

“You’ve seen a total of 6 movies in your life?” 

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to see more?”

She shrugged. “I mean, I guess. It’s just tough to find CDs that are still functional after so long.”

“Hold that thought,” you said, holding a finger in her direction as you stood up.

“Hey!” she called as you bolted out the door. “Where are you going?”

You came bounding back to her room in a matter of seconds, your laptop in your hands. 

“What the fuck?” she said. “Isn’t that your homework thing?”

“Yes,” you said, feeling around for an outlet, “But I also have a ridiculous amount of movies downloaded on this. Our dorm wi-fi is shit and I have way too much storage on this thing, so I just download, like, every movie I’ve ever wanted to watch.”

“Your dorm what?”

You waved your hand. The last thing you wanted to do was explain to her how the 802.11 standard allowed wireless connections a few years after the outbreak. “Not important. Here, come look at this.”

Your laptop roared to light with the help of your charging cord. Quickly, you typed your password in and opened your downloads. Ellie hovered over your shoulder, squinting at the screen with confusion. 

“Here,” you said, opening up the album that had everything you had seen for your entire university career and passing the laptop to Ellie. “Use the touchpad—there, yeah—to navigate. Press to click. These are all movie files that I’ve seen. We can watch them on my laptop. Some of them were filmed in Terranova, too, so they’re post-apocalypse.”

She perused the selection you had for quite some time, the glow of the screen lighting up her face against the dim room. “Okay. This one.”

And thus began a tradition. Each night after you’d finished showering and Joel retired to his room, Ellie would come knock on your door and ask if you wanted to come over. You’d talk for a while, then open your laptop and pick something out to watch. Ellie was never high after the first time, which was unsurprising considering that there definitely wasn’t a way to get any in Jackson. Where she found any the first time was still a mystery to you. 

~

A week or so after your first patrol with Ellie, Joel had taken it upon himself to teach you how to shoot. You were surprisingly not as bad as you’d expected, but the rebound was tough to get used to, and you were still hung up over the whole “killing living things” part. 

Your first patrol—first real one—came quickly, and before you knew it, Ellie was handing you the same gun you’d dropped the first time with a suspicious look. 

“Don’t kill one of us with that thing,” she warned. “Be smart, okay?”

“Sure thing, boss,” you said to her, mock saluting as best you could while you were leading Japan to the mounting block.

She rolled her eyes. “Please act normal or I’ll make you carry around that glorified pocket knife instead again.” 

The patrol began as usual, Ellie leading you down the same path you went last time. It was a beautiful day out, with the early spring sun filtering through the evergreen trees that populated the woods and birdsong filling the air. 

Though conversations with Ellie were getting easier (given that it actually seemed like she wanted to talk to you now), you were still starstruck. Nothing that you did and nothing that you thought could get you to stop seeing her the way you did. You were routinely distracted by everything about her. It was a wonder that you could even function as a normal person around her, much less handle a weapon and a horse. 

You two had nearly made the full rotation when your surroundings exploded in action. 

“Fuck,” Ellie hissed as someone behind you two fired a shot that narrowly missed Shimmer. 

You whipped around, gun in hand, to see two men—two normal men who weren’t infected. One held a bow, the other a gun. 

The one who had fired the first shot never even stood a chance. He was down on the ground seconds after you’d seen him, Ellie’s aim taking him out before you could even ready your gun. 

The second man notched an arrow and managed to draw it back and release into the air right as Ellie’s bullet struck him, sending him falling back. 

“I don’t think there’s any more,” said Ellie, slightly breathless as she scanned the forest. “Sometimes outsiders pull this shit—try to kill us for our supplies. I’ve never seen them this close to the wall, though. I’ll have to tell Maria and Tommy.”

Normally, you would’ve felt up to making some sort of sarcastic comment about how that was a really unconcerning thing for her to tell you and that you actually felt so much more comfortable going on patrol knowing that there were also just run-of-the-mill people trying to kill you, but a twinge in your lower body distracted you. 

Slowly, nervously, you looked down. Air immediately left your lungs. 

“At least we’re done,” Ellie was saying, wiping her hands off on her thighs and slinging the gun over her shoulder. “What a crazy end for your first actual patrol, huh?”

When you didn’t answer, she turned to you and saw the arrow sticking out of your side, 

“Shit,” said Ellie, jumping off Shimmer and reaching you in seconds. “Shit, shit, shit. Oh god.” 

“Am I going to die?” you asked, staring starstruck at the blood escaping the outline of the arrowhead. You couldn’t feel anything anymore. Were you in shock?

“No,” said Ellie firmly. “Absolutely not. Do you need help getting off?”

Before you could answer, she was already helping you down, carefully avoiding the protruding arrow. 

“Listen,” she said, back to being her unwavering self, “We’re right by the wall. I’m going to help you walk in, and then I’ll grab some supplies, okay? Don’t try to pull the arrow out. You hear me? Don’t.”

Swallowing hard, you nodded. She helped you walk the few steps to be carefully concealed by the wall, then grabbed the two horses and darted past you, making a break for Maria and Tommy’s cabin. 

In a haze of confusion, you could see Maria running out, holding a box out to Ellie in exchange for the reins of the horses. Ellie said something that made Maria point towards you. She nodded, then ran back to you.

By the time that she’d reached you, the shock had begun to wear off, replaced by the stinging pain from the object that had impaled you. It was worse than anything you’d ever felt before in your life, and it took all you had not to keel over. 

“Hey,” she said, reaching out to grab your face so you had to look at her. “Don’t be afraid. I’ve done this before, okay? I’m, like, the master. It’s going to be alright.” 

“Done what before?” you managed to grind out. 

Ellie let go of your face to dig through the box Maria had given her, producing a needle, a bottle of rubbing alcohol, and what looked like a spool of thin thread. 

Horror slowly trickled through you as you realized what was about to happen. 

“It doesn’t look all that deep,” Ellie was saying as she examined the arrow. “So I don’t think it’s hit anything. It’s just going to be a nasty hole. I’m going to pull it out now, okay?”

You let out a strangled scream as she grasped the arrow’s end and yanked it out without warning.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry,” Ellie repeated. She threw the arrow over her shoulder and knelt so she was hovering over you. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you gasped. You were most certainly not. You couldn’t quite get your eyes to focus, and your heart was beating out of your chest. 

“Alright,” she said firmly, grasping your shoulders and pulling you up so you were slumped against the wall. “Sit up straight, alright? Also, this is going to hurt.” 

At first there were just snipping sounds as she cut part of your shirt away—then something cool and wet pressed to your wound. You cried out again as a fresh white hot pain bloomed in your middle. 

“I know, I know.” Ellie’s voice was consoling as she reached up to brush away the sweaty strands of hair stuck to your forehead. “Just a few more seconds.” 

“Fuck—off—” you gritted out from your teeth. 

Ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that. Just this once.” 

She released the alcohol-saturated cotton pad, throwing it aside and fussing with the thread and needle until she was satisfied. 

By the time her fingers were ghosting over your abdomen again, you couldn’t pull your eyes away from the puncture wound and the needle she was wielding. 

“Don’t look,” said Ellie. “Pick something else. You don’t need to watch.” 

“I hate needles,” you whispered, choosing the air over her shoulder to be your focal point. 

There was a prodding at the top of your wound, and you hissed. 

“I can’t say I’m a fan myself.” 

Something pierced through your skin, and your midriff exploded in pain. 

The edges of your sight went fuzzy, stars forming in the corners of your vision. Someone that sounded suspiciously like you cried out. Your cheek rammed up against something solid and warm. 

Once the initial sting had faded, you realized that you’d slumped into Ellie, your face buried into her neck. She didn’t make any move to push you off, instead just taking one hand to brush up and down your arm with a feather light touch. 

“You're fine," she said firmly. "Everything's going to be fine."

Your fingers curled around the hem of her shirt as the needle exited through the other end of your wound, pulling another whine from your throat. It was easier to not feel like you were about to pass out when you were crushed into Ellie, clinging onto her and just focusing on the way she felt against you. 

“Hang on, I'm almost there,” she muttered a few stitches later. You’d quieted down, only letting out the occasional gasp as she pulled the thread through. “You're doing so well. Just one more.”

Now that you were more conscious, you had no idea how she was managing to stitch your side while you were nearly on her lap, but she continued to weave her needle through your skin, pulling it taut. 

“And done,” said Ellie. You felt her take another cotton square to swipe against your skin. 

You laid against her for a few more moments, panting as the shock slowly began to fade. She shifted, and for a moment you were sure that she was going to shove you away, but then the hand she’d lifted hesitantly rested on your head, her fingers parting to card through your hair. 

“How did you learn how to do that?” you asked, your voice muffled from where you were pressed against her. 

“Trial and error.” 

Her joke was enough for you to finally let go, sitting back against the wall. Her hand slithered out of your hair, resting back in her lap. 

“Shut up,” you said. “That’s awful.” 

Ellie shrugged. 

“I’m sorry,” you said, feeling the bumpiness of the stony wall press into your back. “I have a really low pain tolerance.”

“So I’ve noticed,” said Ellie, the side of her mouth quirking. 

“I’ve never been hurt before,” you heard yourself saying. “Like, beyond the occasional splinter or bee sting or accidental scrape or ankle sprain. It’s just not something that happens.” 

“Must be nice.”  

You smiled sadly. “Yeah. It’s not nice being weak, though.” 

Ellie looked away from you then, silent as she packed up the first-aid kit. Then: “I don’t think that’s true.” 

She’d said it lightly, like it was meant to be an offhand comment, a throwaway addition that wouldn’t be remembered by either of you. But the sentiment still struck you, twisting your heart.

You were less capable because your survival had never required anything more. You were weak because you could be. 

Her voice from the night she’d been high floated back to you. You haven't had to harden up like everyone else I know. 

Out here, weakness was a luxury few could afford. 

“Not so untouched anymore, huh?” you said, since you didn’t know how else to respond.

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” quipped Ellie. “But if I were you, I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. I still consider needing to be held to get 4 stitches as being soft. You haven’t changed a bit. No offense.” 

Your cheeks burned bright red. “I—”

“I’m teasing,” she said before you could defend yourself. “Arrow wounds suck. I get it.” 

“Right.” You turned away, keeping your gaze fixed firmly on the ground beside you. With feeling more yourself came the inevitable shame at what you’d just done. What had you been thinking, touching her like that? Grabbing onto her like that?

This was going to haunt you for the rest of your life. 

“Don’t make that face,” said Ellie. “I’m sorry for saying that. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It really is fine.” 

It was not fine. It would never be fine. You wanted the thugs to come back to life and finish you off, and then have the earth open up and swallow you for good measure. 

Ellie probably thought of you as an overgrown child. You doubted that there was ever a point where she could see you as anything equal. If she ever knew how often she appeared in your imagination, she’d probably be disgusted.

She called you pretty a contrarian voice in your head reminded you. Don't you remember?

But maybe she hadn’t meant it. She hadn’t said it explicitly: “Y/N, I think you’re pretty.” She just hadn’t argued when you’d pointed it out. Maybe because she was being nice, or maybe because she was actually being sarcastic. 

“You were really brave, okay?” said Ellie. “Your first armed confrontation and you did well.”

“I didn’t shoot anyone.”

“It could have gone worse,” said Ellie. “You could’ve accidentally shot me. Or died. And neither of those things happened, so that’s successful in my book.” 

“That’s very glass half-full of you.”

“That’s me. Ever the optimist.” 

You snorted.

~

That night, Ellie knocked on your door and asked you if you were up for another movie. You found yourself sitting on her comforter, plugging in your computer and booting it up minutes later.

Physically speaking, it had always been a little awkward to fit two people on her twin bed if they weren’t right next to each other, given that your laptop screen was a very unimpressive size. When you’d first started watching with her, Ellie would rest against the headboard, her legs stretched out in front of you while you would sit with your legs crossed, positioned sideways so you weren’t accidentally pushing her legs off. 

But after the day you had had, your back was sore and your whole body ached. Sitting on something soft without any back support as you angled yourself to look at the screen was quickly proving unsustainable. 

“Pause,” said Ellie about ten minutes in. You’d been watching an older sci-fi flick—Ellie’s choice. 

You complied, leaning forward and pressing the spacebar. “What’s up?”

“Are you even comfortable sitting like that?”

“Yeah,” you said.

“Liar,” accused Ellie, crossing her arms over her chest. “Don’t think I don’t see you ‘discreetly’ cracking your back every 2 minutes. It’s ruining the movie.” 

“Sorry,” you said, shaking your head and smiling in exasperation. “It’s from all the years I spent hunched over a textbook.” 

“You know, you can sit up here,” she said, patting the space beside her. “I don’t bite.”

“Jury’s still out on that,” you said, though by the time Ellie let out a laugh you were already unfolding your legs and moving so you were next to her. 

She leaned forward, grabbing the bottom half of the laptop and lifting it. “Hey, do you want a blanket?”

“Sure.” 

Ellie’s other hand grabbed the edge of her comforter and held it up. 

Hesitantly, you slid your legs under and watched as Ellie did the same, awkwardly holding the laptop in the air before you were both settled enough to rest it on your covered right thigh and her left.  “Better?”

When you nodded, she reached her tattooed arm out and pressed play. The audio picked back up, but you couldn’t for the life of you focus on the movie.

When Ellie had asked if you’d wanted a blanket, you were expecting her to toss the throw blanket that would really only fit one person at you, not invite you to get under the blankets with her. That was significantly more intimate.

You two were sitting close enough that your sides were touching, from shoulder to thigh. You could feel her chest lift with each breath, feel the heat coming off of her.

After a while, Ellie properly laid down, taking the laptop and hoisting it up so it rested on her lower abdomen as she settled into her pillow.

You gulped, your eyes flickering between her face and the screen. Ellie’s gaze was fixed intently on the screen, her eyes half lidded with exhaustion.

You could be tired too. You weren’t, of course—your heart was racing a thousand miles an hour. But she didn’t know that. It was normal to lay down next to her, right? You’d done that with Irena more times than you could count, and it was never weird. Yeah, you could do that. 

Also, if you were totally horizontal, you would stop getting distracted by the sliver of her skin that her crooked shirt showed of her chest. 

In a moment of blind courage, you scooted down so your head was lying right next to Ellie’s. She didn’t seem to react, just extending her hand from under the covers to steady the laptop as it wobbled from the movement. 

Her sheets smelled like the soap that you used to wash your hair—a cottony freshness that had the slightest hint of lavender. 

“Are you going to fall asleep on me?” asked Ellie after a while, her voice nothing more than a whisper. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” you responded, equally quiet. Then, because you hadn’t made enough rash decisions for the night, you angled your head so it rested in the space right above her shoulder. 

She inhaled sharply but didn’t move. On her next exhale a piece of her auburn hair tickled your forehead. 

“How’re your stitches?” she asked suddenly, like she'd just remembered.

“They’re okay. I think. As stitches go.”

“After this is over, I’ll check on them,” she said. “Don’t let me forget, okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered, suddenly feeling shy. It was one thing for her to cut off your shirt and see your skin when she was trying to save your life while you were mentally gone. It was another thing altogether to pull up your shirt without adrenaline coursing through you.

You didn’t pay any attention to the rest of the movie, instead hyperfocused on the rhythm of Ellie’s breathing and the fact that if you moved just a little your chin would be on her shoulder. 

Her mention of the stitches wasn’t helping at all, either. Now all you could think about was the embarrassing way you’d basically tried to crawl under her skin, burying your face into her and clutching at her clothes like you were a child.

A part of you was disappointed that you hadn’t been more lucid at the time. If you had, you would’ve been able to clearly remember the softness of her skin against yours. You would’ve been able to enjoy it for what it was—the only time you’d be able to touch her like that.

Because you couldn’t go around just grabbing onto her shirt and getting into her lap. That was a one-off, the only time that the rules were waived. You couldn’t touch her like that now, now that you didn’t have any excuse. It wasn’t allowed.

But sometimes you wanted to so badly that it hurt. 

The movie ended abruptly, wrenching you out of your thoughts. 

“Hey,” whispered Ellie. “Sit up so I can see.”

Reluctantly, you pressed yourself up from your back and began rolling up the hem of your shirt. Ellie twisted to face backwards, her thin top riding up and showing part of her back as she reached for the lamp.

Once golden light returned to the room, Ellie turned back and bumped your hands away. She bent over, tilting her head so that she was looking at the stitches straight on.

They didn’t look bad, you had to admit. Though you wouldn’t consider the actual experience of getting the stitches a 5-star experience, Ellie had clearly known what she was doing. The surrounding flesh didn’t look angry or irritated, and she’d pulled the stitches just tight enough without it puckering. 

She prodded at the side, then gave a satisfied nod. “Looks good. What did I tell you? I’m really good at this sort of stuff.”

“I think you would’ve made a really good doctor,” you said once she’d sat up straight again. “Under different circumstances.”

“Is this you telling me that you don’t think I’m a good doctor now?” she teased. 

“Your bedside manner could use some work,” you offered.

Ellie laughed then, shaking her head and crossing her arms over her chest. “Yeah, yeah. You lived. You'll get over it.” 

“Did you go to school?” you found yourself asking, hung up on the thought of Ellie as a potential medical student. If she’d been in one of your intro biology classes, you never would’ve been able to pay attention. That was a fantasy you could shelve away for later. 

“Sort of,” said Ellie, looking down at her arms. “I went to a military prep school run by FEDRA. I didn’t graduate though—obviously. I was long gone by then.” 

“Right,” you said, remembering that she’d mentioned that she’d been 14 when she’d left Boston. “And what was it like?” 

She paused, opening her mouth before closing it. “It was—unkind. Joel's told me about schools before the outbreak. It was nothing like that. There were some normal classes, but most of it was meant to prepare us to be soldiers.” 

“Is that where you learned how to do sutures?” 

“Among other things.”

Terranova had no military academies, given that there was hardly any military presence. The founder of Terranova had bodyguards and there was a police force that controlled the borders, but it was nothing like Ellie described. With invisible borders and a social order that valued peace and tranquility over all else, there was no real danger posed to any of the citizens. 

But from what you had learned from movies and books and comments from older people, you had gathered a very dim picture of what a military academy looked like—harsh, strict, and cruel. 

“I’m sorry you had to grow up like that,” you said. 

“It’s okay.”

“Is there anything you would want to study? If you could?” 

Ellie’s eyes closed. “Yeah. There are a couple things.” 

She did not elaborate. 

~

It didn’t take long for you two to settle back into your routine of meeting in her room each evening and watching one of your downloaded movies. Following the night after you’d gotten your stitches, you wouldn’t even have to ask—Ellie would pull up her comforter and let you slide in next to her without giving you a second glance.

You’d also gotten over the fear of touching her. Now, when you flopped back so your head was on her pillow, you’d adjust until you were nestled into the crook of her neck. She never once reacted to it, remaining perfectly still unless she was adjusting the laptop or messing with the sound. 

Because it was normal, of course. You and Irena would rest your head on each other’s shoulders sometimes. That was something that friends did. 

One night a week or so into April, you and Ellie made a harrowing discovery: there was only one movie left in your collection that you two hadn’t seen together. 

“Damn,” said Ellie, furrowing her brow. “And there’s no way to get more on here?”

“I’m afraid not,” you said, frowning. “To download more or stream one, I’d need either an Ethernet cable or a wi-fi connection. Neither of which function out here anymore without cell towers and maintained cables.” 

“Right,” said Ellie, though her face told you that she didn’t understand a word that had come out of your mouth. “So—this is it?”

“Yeah.” Your finger hovered over the play button. “Savor it, I guess.” 

When you settled back and into her side, the heavy weight of dread settled into your stomach. Now that you’d finished showing her your entire collection, it’s not like she’d have a reason to invite you over every night. And there was especially no reason for you two to lie so closely together unless you were both trying to watch something on a small screen.

Once again, your excuse to touch her was gone.

You pressed closer to her as your mind raced. There was no way that Ellie didn’t see what you were doing as platonic, right? Was it possible that she was creeped out by how touchy you were but just tolerated it to be nice? 

Maybe. You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes fixed on the screen. Ellie didn’t see you like…like that. She spoke to you like you were an obligation, a burden. Because you always had been. You’d been a responsibility thrust on her by a father figure who felt like he was indebted to you from that stupid bag of coffee you were lucky enough to bring. 

Oh, god. Had Joel told her to befriend you? Had he asked for Ellie to pretend like she enjoyed spending time with you and to put up with your privileged, soft-hearted nonsense? 

The knowledge that you were spiraling wasn’t enough to stop you. You did the best that you could—tried to remind yourself that it’d been a while since she’d looked disgusted with you, recall that she was outspoken enough to tell you to fuck off if you did something she didn’t like—but it was to no avail.

Ellie reached forward and hit pause on the movie, thrusting you both into silence. 

“Is everything okay?” she asked after a moment. 

“Yeah, why?” 

“I can feel your heart going, like, crazy fast.” 

You froze. “Oh. Uh, yeah. I was just thinking.” 

Ellie pushed the laptop off of her, sitting up to give you an odd look. “About a near death experience or something? You running a marathon up there? That shit’s not normal.” 

You laughed nervously. “It’s really nothing. Just an, uh, suspenseful movie.” 

Which was actually really stupid of you to say, because you were watching some obscure Tarkovsky film that did nothing but pan over burning buildings and pensive men. For the past 5 minutes, there had been nothing on screen but the back of a car driving through traffic with minimal sound. Also, it was in Russian, and the English subtitles made zero sense.

There was a reason why this was the last movie you chose.

“This is the most boring fucking movie I’ve ever watched in my life, so you’re a dirty fucking liar,” said Ellie. Then her face pinched in worry. “Wait. Have you taken a look at your stitches lately?” 

Before you could answer, she was grabbing a flashlight off her nightstand and yanking the comforter off you. She was pulling your shirt up when you finally found your voice.

“Wait!” you said, grabbing the bottom of your shirt and yanking it back in place. “It’s not—I don’t have an infection, okay? There’s nothing wrong with me. I really was just thinking, okay?”

“About what?” She reached back to place her flashlight back on the stand without taking her eyes off you. 

“It’s nothing important.”

“If you say so.” 

She picked the laptop up and placed it back on her thighs, lying back down. You followed suit, but this time you didn’t touch her, opting to keep as much distance as you could so she wouldn’t hear the stuttering of your heart. 

Not even 5 minutes had passed before Ellie sat up to pause the video again.

“Is something wrong?” she asked.

“No. Why?” 

“You’re acting weird,” she accused, but there wasn’t much conviction behind her voice. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that you’re acting weird,” she repeated, shutting your laptop off and moving it to the bottom of her bed, despite the protests that left your lips. 

“I don’t understand,” you said. “I’m just watching the movie. I’m not doing anything. “

“You’re not watching the movie,” she said. “You weren’t even looking at the screen. What’s got you so bothered? Did I do something?” 

“Of course not.” You pulled your legs under you so your legs were crossed and your back was against the wall. “You don’t need to worry. It’s honestly fine. I’m sorry if I’ve done something to imply otherwise.” 

Ellie rubbed the bridge of her nose, sighing. “You stress me out. You can just tell me, you know? No need to be so cagey. I promise I’ve heard worse.” 

“Don’t be so quick to say that.”

“Okay, now you have to tell me,” she said. “I’m never going to know peace again with a hook like that.” 

You were about to open your mouth to tell her that it was stupid and that it didn’t matter, but something stopped you. 

That was the coward’s way out. That’s what you’d always done—hid your feelings and concealed your emotions. That’s how you’d been raised. That’s how you thought everyone was. But now that you’d spent 2 months in Jackson, you’d realized that some people actually just said what they thought. And that, in the grand scheme of things, it was a better system than the Terranovian culture of superficiality.  

Just because the you 2 months ago would have shook her head and changed the subject didn’t mean the you now had to. 

Maybe this you could be different. Maybe, for once, this you could be brave. 

“I really—” You stopped yourself. Saying I really like you didn’t even begin to encompass what you felt for the girl sitting across from you. To distill the sheer magnitude of your feelings down to four words felt criminal. The swell in your chest that never went away whenever you were near her could never and would never be adequately represented in the puny offerings of the Latin alphabet and the English language, and if you were going to do this, you were going to do it right. 

You dared to look up at her for a moment. She was completely still, her green eyes reflecting the dim moonlight from outside. Once you met her gaze, you couldn’t bring yourself to pull it away.

“I’m really sorry that I’m putting you in an uncomfortable position for saying this,” you began (because old habits ran deep, and you would rather die than be impolite), “And I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to me after this. And I’m sorry for not telling you earlier.”

“As much as I’m sure that this is some sort of cultural cornerstone for you, please spare me the 6 foot long disclaimer script,” Ellie drawled.

“Right.” You gulped. “Anyway. As I was saying.”

“Any day now.” 

At that moment, she had never looked more perfect. Your eyes had adjusted to the dark lighting, so the weak moonlight that spilled in from the window above her created a halo around her head. 

“It’s you.” Your voice came out tiny. “You’re all that I can think about, and I don’t know what to do.”

There. It was off your chest.

For a moment, it was as if you’d suspended time, stopping Earth on its axis as you both held your breaths. There was nothing but silence and the occasional wooden creak of the old house’s foundation in the wind. 

Ellie’s face betrayed nothing, save for something in her eyes and the disappearance of the smirk that had been on her lips moments before. 

Then she spoke, her response whispered.

“Come here, then.” 

final a/n: NOW HOLD ON before you show up outside my dorm with pitchforks and torches 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i'm so sorry but this was a necessary evil as this was going to a massive scene without the chapter break. also a disproportionately massive chapter compared to the other ones coming out. i write very quickly and should get the following part out in a timeframe similar to the first 3 parts. thank u for reading ! tell me what you think abt this chapter while you wait x

[stars-and-the-min]

☆ the wrong way to hard launch (10) | OP81

summary : oscar's girlfriend is a walking pr problem for literally everyone (including herself) social media au

pairing : oscar piastri x zhou!fem!singer!oc

a/n the calm before the storm?

masterlist | last part | part 10 | next part

INSTAGRAM

mclaren Shanghai International Circuit

54,829 likes

mclaren Looks like a race day to me 🤔 tagged: oscarpiastri and landonorris

pi4str1 good luck papaya fam 🧡🧡🧡

michelle.ar manifesting double podiums again

jimpxcs Let's go boys 🔥

MESSAGES

from the phone of selina bui

TWITTER

↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 2h WELCOME BACK LINA F1 LIVE TWEETS ↳ piaa⁸¹ @papayaeightyone · 1h she's so real for these reactions honestly 😭

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lilymhe just posted to their story

TWITTER

🕯️manifesting EB3 🕯️@ linabelles · 45m stfu i'd know that silhouette anywhere. lily muni he at shenzhen n3??? ↳ abby <3 @devilvows · 39m not just lily! alex, logan and oscar were also spotted in the venue!!

piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 21m omg oscalina crumbs 🥹 ↳ piaa⁸¹ @ papayaeightyone · 21m this is so sad, they've already hard launched, why do i still feel like i'm in a drought

INSTAGRAM

lilymhe

liked by selinabui and 143,284 other

lilymhe Been hanging out with some rockstars lately 🤟 tagged: alex_albon, cameliazzz, selinabui and oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri Today I learnt: I still suck at golf ↳ selinabui @ oscarpiastri dw babe, at least we suck together ❤️‍🩹 ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui 🥹

selinabui gonna stick to singing my silly songs that was such a humbling experience ↳ oscarpiastri @ selinabui You did better than Alex

pastry81 the mother convention ft some kens

alex_albon I personally don't recommend karaoke with a musician

linasgirl4 THANK U LILY MUNI HE FOR CONTRIBUTING TO THE OSCALINA PHOTOS WE APPRECIATE U GREATLY liked by creator

oscarpiastri

liked by selinabui and 201,395 others

oscarpiastri Some moments off-track

dan_pjd puppy !!!🥺 so we have roscoe hamilton, leo leclerc and this is...? ↳ marie_h.sb @dan_pjd apollo! lina adopted him a year ago

landonorris I thought that was lily but no, she's really serious about that golfing thing, ain't she?

celia.sucxr why does he keep posting her ↳ pastry81 @ celia.sucxr because that's his girlfriend???

TWITTER

oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 4h too many people bitching and moaning about oscar posting about lina but u don't understand, if u were dating selina bui, u would also never stfu about her ↳ opal @pxastrixxx · 4h she's still mid lmao ↳ oscalina real ?! @ emptyginbottles · 3h until u have acclaimed music critics blaming ur success on pretty privilege, shut up :) ↳ kayla @luna_apocolypse · 3h oomfie you ATE that and also unlocked a core memory

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emptybottles_official Shenzhen Bay Sports Center

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emptybottles_official A beautiful Shenzhen homecoming for Lina and Jonny 💖 Thank you guys so much for three amazing nights of fun (and screaming with us) 🔜 Bangkok

lilymhe had an absolute blast! ↳ emptybottles_official @ lilymhe join us again soon?

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piastri_lina shenzhen, how does it feel to WIN 😭

TWITTER

emme @flowersforcami · 1h and what do melb n1, tokyo n2 (replacement) and shenzhen n3 have in common? ↳ oscalina real ?! @emptyginbottles · 49m oscar piastri shows you will always be famous ↳ lukas 🔛🔝 @lukiepookie28 · 28m no bc someone needs to get the stats on her energy when oscar is in the crowd like girlie is BEAMING

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

taglist @ririyulife @ashy-kit @fionaschicken @namgification @cherry-piee @urfavsgf @eiaaasamantha

[scekrex]

WAIT HOLD ON, I GOT ANOTHER. BWOAH

The Heavenly team of Exterminators playing hide and seek as a training to find demons if they hide somewhere and they only choose like a couple of people to hide before they start searching for them. Reader being on of the people chosen to hide, the problem is he hid so well that they can't find him. Reason for that being his amazing hiding skills that made him choose to hide in some sort of a chamber that there was only one way in, but it was hidden, so unless you knew how to get in and if you even knew it was there, you wouldn't know how to find the guy. Adam getting concerned where his husband went since they've been searching for him for a good hour and still couldn't find him before he hears a ding from his phone an a video message from reader "An hour in the chamber, they haven't found me yet, but when they do, they gon' be surprised" and Adam just having a whole ass "What the fuck, where is your stupid ass??" moment with reader just replaying "Bitch call me, I'm stuck just come get me out" and directing him to the chamber 😂😂

Okay hear me out: airtag for reader NOW bc otherwise Adam might lose that dude for good (no he won't bc reader will always find back to him but it causes a panic attack almost every time) also I live for the Adam pics you always send w ur asks

Constant Headache

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, yet another crack fic

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

“Soldiers,” Lute yelled as she slowly walked towards the group of exorcists. If you were to be honest you didn't even fully understand how you had managed to become one of them, Adam had a pretty strict ‘women only’ rule when it came to his army, on the other hand had your husband never been fully able to tell you ‘no’, he had always given in sooner or later.

“Today’s practice will be about spotting and fighting the demons that think are clever by hiding from us,” she smashed her fist on the palm of her hand, “But we're smarter. And in order to spot hiding demons, you will be divided into two groups. The ones that will be hiding and doing their best to stay hidden, we want this to be as realistic as possible after all so once you've been spotted, put up a fight. And the ones who will seek for those hidden.” You looked up from your nails and raised an eyebrow at Lute, “So what you're saying is we're playing hide and seek, gotcha. Y'all get ready to suck dick because I will win this bullshit.”

Lute sighed heavily as she pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head at you, “No, Y/N, we're not playing fucking- Adam,” she turned towards the first man, who was currently busy on his phone. Once his name was called out he looked up in confusion though, the LED face on his mask seemed slightly annoyed by Lute's attitude, “Huh?” That caused the exorcist to groan loudly and she threw her head in her neck to underline her emotions, “Tell your little fucktoy that we're not playing hide and seek.” Adam turned his phone off and let it disappear in his pocket before crossing his arms over his chest, “First of all, don't fucking disrespect my husband like that, only I'm allowed to call him my fucktoy,” Lute shot you a warning glace as she saw the shit eating grin on your face, you flipped her off and mouthed a silent, “Yeah bitch, fucking respect me.” With every day that she got to spend with the two of you she understood more and more why you were married. The two of you were equally obnoxious. “Second, bitch what do you want from me, this is literally a game of hide and seek, babes is right about that one.” ‘When was babes not right about something,’ Lute thought but remained silent. Instead she turned to face the group again, ignoring Adam's words skillfully. “Anyways, group A, you will be given ten minutes to hide, once the ten minutes are over group B will start their seeking. Good luck,” and with that she started a timer.

You lazily walked over to Adam, who was back to playing some shitty mobile game, “Hey big guy, if you manage to find me soon we might have a little time for a quickie.” It was needless to say that that caught Adam's attention immediately but before he had the slightest chance to answer you, you pushed yourself off the ground. “Where the fuck are you even going,” the first man yelled at you, you turned around mid air to look at him from above, “Find out, if ya find me I'll suck your dick.” And that was s promise to Adam's liking.

You took off, already knew where to hide. It was a little chamber that you had found a couple hundred years ago. You weren't quite sure how you had stumbled across it but ever since then you have made it your little man cave and whenever you felt overwhelmed you simply went there to calm yourself down and escape from the bright colors of heaven for a few hours. The chamber only had one entrance and it was hidden behind ivy vines.

All in all it was a cozy little place and a comfortable hiding spot, you also doubted that anyone would find you there and that was a simple win in your book, you'd win that game of hide and seek just to shove it in Lute's face. Yeah Lute… that was a thing you didn't like to think or talk about lately. Ever since the extermination day got closer she became insufferable. The training schedule was tight, jokes seemed to be forbidden and she treated everyone like they were garbage - sometimes even Adam. Usually the exorcist was fun to have around, she'd be up for one or two stupid decisions and would crack the most unfiltered jokes but with extermination day being in two months she just threw all of her likable traits away to become that bossy bitch that hated on everyone, no matter how well they were doing.

You sighed as you sat down on the cold yet dry ground and waited. It would probably take a while for one of them - probably your husband - to reach out for you and check where the fuck you were. So you took out your phone and checked social media.

In the meantime Adam was having a crisis, he had looked behind every rock, in every tree, fuck he had even searched for you on the bottom of the river at that point. But you were nowhere in sight. “Where the fuck is that bitch,” he mumbled to himself as he checked a tiny cave he had just discovered but nothing. “Someone’s mad he won't get a blowie?” Lute's grin was audible and it caused Adam to sigh in annoyance, “Fuck off, Lute.” She dropped the grin and got serious again at that, “Actually Sir, I'm here to inform you that all exorcists had been found, well all but Y/N.” That made the first man worry even more and a little bit of panic was noticeable in his voice when he ordered Lute to tell the exorcists to look for his husband. The lieutenant executed the order given to her within a heartbeat.

An hour passed and there was still no sign of you, that was until a notification popped up on Adam's phone screen.

‘Babes has sent you a video.’

The brunette opened it immediately and frowned as he watched the video of you showing off the chamber you were hiding inside, “An hour in the chamber, they haven't found me yet,” your voice sounded quite pleased with that result as you flipped the camera to grin at it, “But when they do, they gon’ be surprised as fuck.” Adam started at the screen for a moment, then he smashed his fingers down onto the digital keyboard, typing out in all caps, ‘What the fuck, where's your stupid ass???’

It only took you a moment to respond, a voice message this time, “So y’know, maybe I'm stuck in that man cave of mine,” Adam looked irritated at that, was he supposed to know where that said man cave was? Had he missed something? “Just fucking call me and I'll give ya the directions, get me the fuck outta here I'm starving.” Adam turned to look at Lute who shrugged apathetically, “Your bitch not mine.” Fucking great.

So Adam called you and you directed him to where you were still hiding. It took the first man quite a while to both get his ass there and find the entrance but once he did, you were already waiting there for him. “Okay just grab me and pull me out,” you mumbled as you reached for his hand. He grabbed your forearm firmly and did as he had been told.

As soon as you were out you cockily leaned against his side, “Took ya a while.” Adam grumbled something about your hiding spot being unfair but you ignored that, instead you asked, “So, did I win?” The first human soul in heaven rolled his eyes at that, “Yeah, yeah you won.” You patted his chest as you walked past him, “Awesome, now let's go so I can shove it in Lute's face.” Adam simply followed you, “What about my blowjob though?” You turned around to face him, a small grin on your lips, “If you behave like the good boy we both know you can be I'll blow you when we're back home.”

And in that moment Adam was really fucking thankful for his mask because while he was sure you knew he was blushing, you had no proof for that. “Fucking fine,” he whined but you knew as much as he did that it was just an act. So the two of you flew back to Lute and the others.

“What the fuck took you so long?” Lute snapped at Adam once the man had set his foot on the ground next to her, you were quick to jump in tho, “Dickmaster here had been busy shoving his cock down my throat, now we're here so shut up and give us the next task already, hide and seek was way to fucking easy.”

[zg0nuwa]

biker!bi han thots? biker!bi han thots.

cw : bi han himself is a warning, mentions of road rage, mentions of traffic accidents (nothing descriptive, just mentioned), nsfw utc.

not only is he a bastard, he’s cocky and has a massive ego. he’s also a show off, his bike always polished to perfection, clean leather on his back, shining helmet, and his precious partner at his hip at nearly all times.

revs up the bike to make you jump and laughs at your reaction. somehow it never gets boring to him and he always finds the perfect moment to scare you.

actually not really liked in the community, people either hate him because he is a bitch or they don’t like him because he’s really fucking intimidating, sometimes both.

everyone is surprised he actually got into a relationship. not because he has a reputation for sleeping around or something, no. he’s an asshole, that’s all.

does the thing where at every red light he grabs your thigh and squeezes as hard as he can, he actually left bruises a few times cuz bro has a fucking death grip.

if you jokingly said that he should do a bench press with you instead of the weights he would actually do it. no hesitation, looks you dead in the eyes and goes “let’s do it”. now he does it regularly on your carpet in the living room, just for funsies.

tried making out with you on the bike, almost fell over, never tried it again.

his road rage needs to be studied, genuinely tries to tone it down when you’re with him but still, dear god he is a beast. probably slashed quite a few tires and smashed a good amount of mirrors. it’s not like he does it to normal people, no. he himself is surprisingly respectful on the road (ignore the amount of speeding tickets), but he doesn’t tolerate being a jackass to ANYONE when driving. sometimes he rages on behalf of other people only because he understands how fucking dangerous things can get very quickly.

probably been in an accident himself, two or three minor ones when he was just starting and a pretty serious one later on because someone was a fucking idiot, that why he gets so pissed.

nsfw [MDNI]

as mentioned above, he’s an asshole. teasing you the entire day, only to do nothing about it?? he acts like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about, him? teasing you? never! waits until you start begging for it and if you don’t beg to make him crack? well, that’s too bad, he doesn’t lift a finger. the self control on this man is terrifying at times.

very dominant when it comes to sex, kind of a control freak in this department to be honest. and if you’re also leaning dominant, i am praying for both you and him, you because he doesn’t give up the upper hand easily, and him because he might just die when you stand your ground, never admits he finds it hot tho.

if you’re more submissive, not much changes when it comes to like, how rough he is or what antics he uses, in this scenario though he gets a massive ego boost that you pretty much rely on him to be satisfied.

fucked you while you were wearing only his leather bike jacket.

probably won’t fuck on his bike after the falling over fiasco, sorry :(

[keline11]

Missa and Roier Discussion.

(Long post with a lot of text. "Mucho texto")

Missa was telling roier that he lives with tallulah, chay and phil, so roier got a little mad/upset that missa wasn’t going to live in the mexican village.

Missa: (about his house)"a beautiful house, beautiful."

Roier: "no, well, you can stay there! you can stay there if you want!!"

M: "No, you don’t understand, they are making the house bigger so there could be a guest room in case that you want to go. But you're being aggressive, asshole! I was going to invite you to-"

Ro: "Nonono I thought that you were going to live with the Mexicans instead of going with them."

M: "no, I am going to work with the Mexicans, 8 hrs a day, it’s going to be like I live here."

Ro: "aah you are going to work with the mexicans and then go with the americans"

M: "well, first they are british."

….

Ro: "well, but let’s see, if at any moment they throw you out of the house you can live here."

M: "ok ok, I don’t think they’ll kick me out but-"

Ro: "Uuuuy you are a fucking sugar baby, you are a parasite!"

M: "You don’t understand. I am still poor, I don’t want to be like that forever, I want to help in the house."

They talk about the mission of building a house, so missa decides to build a vacation home in the mexican village.

M: "Chayanne, tallulah, I am going to build a vacation house here, in latam, ok? only for vacation-"

Ro: "to live here with the fucking idiots-"

M: "(In home) When we feel relaxed with a lot of peace, we can come here and feel danger."

Ro: "aah I see, you are the typical uncle that goes to live at the US."

Tallulah: "you can live where you want, it’s ok :D"

M: "nonono, if I can live where I want, I want to live with you guys. ok?"

Ro: "nonono it’s ok, it's understandable that you betray the homeland."

Missa liked something of the house

Ro: "see you could live here but no, you preferred to be with the british, it’s ok, it’s understandable, it’s totally understandable that you betray the homeland. It’s understandable! that you prefer the people that speak *british accent*, you like it more, no? well it’s ok there’s nothing wrong."

M: "well where can I build my house?"

Ro: "NO, NO, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE!!"

M: "I DON’T GIVE A FUCK IF YOU WANT ME HERE OR NOT!! I AM GOING TO BUILD MY HOUSE!"

Ro: "YOU ARE NOT LIVING HERE DAMMIT!"

M: "I AM GOING TO BE THE ANNOYING NEIGHBOR THAT-"

Ro: "NO-"

Rivers: "Hello?"

R: "Rivers, hi"

M: "Rivers, how are you?"

Ri: "Hello!"

Ro: "We were fighting! but come in."

Ri: "Why?"

M: "Yeah, you are always welcome."

Ro: "Because guess what? He betray us! 'They change us shrek!'" (reference?)

Pepito: "Hello :-D Sounds like latam here D:"

M: "We are in latam that’s right. (to roier) It doesn’t sound like this in the house of the fucking british you say! There smells like flowers, it is pretty, relaxing, peaceful, and here? here are only screams!"

Ro: "Look, look you are right! Felipe smells good, he has a lot of money, he likes takis, and he is so handsome! eh? and he smells good again! but here we are the mexican brothers *sings 'méxico en la piel'*"

M: "Hey dude, I was going to build my house here but your house is in the middle. Can you remove it?"

Ro: "ok, I’ll do it."

M: "thank you-"

Ro: "NO! I AM NOT GOING TO DO IT, FUCK!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, YOU ARE NOT LIVING HERE!! ASSHOLE!"

Missa is looking for a place to build the house.

M: "I am going to put it this way."

Ro: "You are not putting any house anywhere, asshole! Did you hear me?"

M: "shut up, shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up."

R: "Shut the fuck up you, fucking bitch, did you hear me? get the fuck out of my territory. *doing a funny voice* 'I don't fucking want you here, Get the hell out of here you bastard.'"(reference2)

Missa starts working.

Ro: *reading pepito sign* "'Apa what happened?', No pepito here, HERE! NOTHING HAPPENED! NOTHING, JUST THAT THERE'S AN UNCLE THAT IS AN ASSHOLE! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED! 'we moved out to china that’s what happened!'" (reference3)

M: (to chay and tallulah) "don’t pay attention, he is a little sick."

Roier makes an alarm type sound.

M: "Roier, it's that the call- the call for…?"

Ro: "It's the call for you to get the fuck out of here!"

M: “I already made my house. Do you want to see? I am your neighbor”

Ro: “This shit is not staying here”

M: “Ha-ha-ha I already put the door”

Ro: “Fuck”

Missa needed glass for the windows so he took roier’s furnace, but roier had gold in it.

Ro: “Hey! what the fuck? you motherfucker! My experience! ajsdnkajnskd!!” *screams nonsense*

M: *in his house*“It’s private property you can’t enter!”

Ro: “Hey stupid! my bread! motherfucker!... well keep it fucking poor”

M: “It wasn't bread it was gold, take it”

Ro: “What? gold? give me the fucking gold!”

M: “relax man, it’s not that serious”

Ro: “Fuck you, I thought that it was bread and i was going to give it to you, fucking poor”

M: “But you realize, true friends forgive each other”

Ro: “Fuck you, you live next to me, fucking ugly house you made only to take up space, fucking monopoly looking ass house”

M: “What are you talking-? yeah, it looks like snoopy’s house”

Ro: “Put the fucking furnace idiot”

M: “Don’t worry i’ll make you another one” *starts mining the blocks of roier’s wall*

Ro: “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? ASSHOLE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?”

M: “I AM MAKING YOU ANOTHER FURNACE!”

Ro: “BUT WHY DID YOU TAKE STONE FROM MY WALL? YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

M: “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU ARE VERY STRANGE TODAY!"

Ro: "THE STRANGE ONE HERE IS YOU, MOTHERFUCKER!”

M: “WHAT IS WRONG? WHAT IS HAPPENING?”

Ro: “GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! GO WITH FELIPE! GO WITH FELIPE!

M: “I MADE YOU ANOTHER FUCKING FURNACE! THERE IT IS!"

Ro: *cursing him in words that are weird to translate*

Then they go explore like a latam family.

"END?"

[princessprettyprivilege]

“Who/What causes you to lose allure?”

If you don’t like cussing, sorry. Your future isn’t guaranteed and we don’t have time to wait for the perfect moment.

The Who’s

Negative bitches. Negative bitches can come in the form of mothers, relatives, besties, and acquaintances. In some cases, they can be well intentioned, but they’ll never understand your lifestyle choices if they aren’t in it themselves. Negative bitches will make you shoot yourself in the foot through sabotage, feeding you doubt through the guise of “caring about you”, and talk about how they never did that and they’re still fine. They want to throw you off track so they won’t feel embarrassed or left behind.

Uninspired persons. The people who want to grow with you by attaching themselves to your hip, and literally copying everything you do. If you do 100 jumping jacks in the morning, they’ll do 101 and take credit for it first if they succeed.

Level up buddies that gave up on leveling up. When you’re on your journey or generally growing your independence, you’ll realize that you can’t afford what you always want to do and staying in your current position ain’t getting you nowhere. Having colleagues that became complacent isn’t helpful to you or them, so dissociate or send them packing.

Comfort zone friends. Comfort zone friends can be the same as negative bitches, except they can become proactive if they view you as a mutual, instead of as a frenemy. Comfort zone friends can also be childhood friends, relationships that you run back to when they ran their course, acquaintances, and placeholders.

Comparison heauxs. The name is literally their description: bitter heauxs that always feel the need to compare themselves and you to their/your progress. They always try to humble you but copy your habits at the same time since they can’t trust themselves.

Unsolicited advisors. Unsolicited advisors like giving advice and comparing their progress at your age to theirs. Their desired results are attention, praise and appreciation for unwanted advice, but I ask if they want a cookie for giving an opinion no one cared about. If they’re people you can’t avoid, ask them questions that have no benefit to your mission.

The What’s

Telling your business on the first visit.

Exposing your routines, private life.

Telling your favorite habits [to heaux’s that’ll switch up on you if given a chance]. If you love singing and the heaux is mad at you, guess what? Your voice sucks and you sound like a dying goat. Love your pretty nose? Guess what’s being attacked first in a fight.

Telling your plans to anyone who’ll listen.

Taking advice from people TO HEART who haven’t experienced what you do. It’s taking medicine you don’t need, but convinced yourself enough that you’re sick. My confidence is the highest it’s been, and I now understand why low esteem people would take advice or criticism from people who’d never liked them.

Giving up after you put in the work required, because “your plan said I could do this in 6 months” but it’s 6.1 months later.

Revealing who you are to someone who didn’t put in the work to know you.

Living for other people.

Living through other people.

[icanseethefuture333]

Random ass question, but what do you think is the best way for a 4/10 girl to become at least a 7 out of 10? I’m aware that “beauty is subjective” but I’m literally below average, 4/10 is being lenient for me lol

How to have confidence in your physical appearance 🎀

First of all sweetie,

let's not rate ourselves on a scale about how pretty we are! It's really degrading and I feel like you deserve so much better than that. Living in a generation where filters are oversaturated, people using AI to edit their photos, and incels with porn addictions and have never felt the touch of a woman, will call the most beautiful girl "mid". It's so understandable why one's self esteem can feel low at times. You need to change the way you talk about yourself (especially me). Beauty always start from within - as redundant as that sounds. You can't feel pretty if you're not focusing on the reason why you feel this way. A pretty soul (and self concept!) makes a prettier face. Moving on, let's get into the actual tips of a glow up 💖

Let's address the elephant in the room 🐘: you're not ugly, just acting pitiful

Have you ever wondered why you have seen those people who are considered "unattractive" or "unconventionallly pretty" by others be in successful relationships or popular with their peers? It's because they have confidence. Have you ever been attracted to someone that may not necessarily fit the beauty standards or be considered a jaw dropping model, but you thought they were cute anyways because of their personality or charm? That's exactly what I mean. You can be a pretty face or have a nice body, but have terrible self esteem. Living in California my whole life I come across this everyday. There is plenty of beautiful people here, but there is also a lot of people with no sense of humor and no offense, but have no personalities. In other words, you can be attractive, but superficial and boring.

To feel beautiful or more like a "10" even on your worst day is mainly having a good self concept. You need to think with the mindset of "I am the baddest bitch even on my worse days and nobody can make me feel different about that, not even me." Our concept can be changed, reshaped, rebuilt, morphed, etc, into any way we want it to be. Our self concept and dominant thoughts are created by our previous past experiences and what people have told us what we are. For example, if you were bullied in your youth and somebody picked on you for your features. Why would you give a fuck about what a bully thinks??? A person who humiliated and traumatized someone at a weak point in their life does not matter. Their opinion, their actions, their thoughts - doesn't matter. You can change yourself anytime you want, we are animals, we are literally mean to be apart of this cycle called life and our habits, attitudes, opinions, etc, can change at any moment. We are meant to grow and adapt. You get to decide who you are, what you feel, and how you wish people to perceive you. Nobody else. So when you repeatedly say things to people like "I'm not beautiful", they're gonna get tired of it honestly and be like "Yk what damn bitch I guess you are ugly!" because it gets tiring to hear someone complain about the same thing even when they just reassured them (again, I'm guilty of this too). So when you depend on someone to make you feel good about yourself, that's just codependency. You are also giving them the power to manipulate you. Don't do that. Be free and be independent, love yourself. It's your self esteem and you cannot be dependent on anybody else to fill that void you have within yourself.

As Katt Williams said, "It's the esteem of your motherfucking self!"

Why it's not your fault you don't 'feel" pretty

Like I said above, you are most likely a product of your surroundings. Most people are not raised by their parents to have good self esteem or to teach them how to be confident or emotionally secure. There are many environmental factors to insecurity and that it is okay if you are never 100% feeling confident about yourself. People in the media construct this ego to seem "cool" and act conceited as a way to avoid being seen as weak to society. You can be confident and also have insecurities. Confidence is just about being secure with the essence of who you are and setting boundaries when necessary with other people when it comes to that. A confident person doesn't tolerate disrespect.

"Conceited" or confident?: how to avoid confusing the two

I think the most irritating thing to me that is normalized these days is narcissism and conceited people. People will literally act boastful and cocky then say "I'm just confident". Behaving like a narcissist or saying that you are one is not cute and never will be because it's literally a personality disorder, a mental health condition. Everytime I hear this it makes me want to roll my eyes so far back into my head. Try to avoid being this person with a "God complex" because there's a difference between a person who is being loud and fake with "confidence". A real confident person makes moves in silence and is genuine with themselves. If you have to brag or put another person down to feel like hot shit, then you're not a confident person, period.

Tips to enhance your beauty

As I said before anon you are already a 10 in my eyes, but I understand how it feels to not feel pretty at times and we all have our days when we are looking "rough". Here are some self care tips I do that helps me feel pretty and pampered physically ✨️

Get some beauty sleep! This is not just a saying. When your body has time to rest it gives you time to reset & have more energy for the next day. Getting plenty of sleep helps prevent dark circles & puffy eyes as well. If you struggle with falling asleep spray lavender pillow spray, drink tea, or play asmr/soothing sounds.

Skincare & hygiene, this is such a crucial step that everyone should practice in their daily lives. All of us have different skin textures and when we neglect our skin it causes a dry, oily, or bumpy surfaces. Now skin texture is totally normal but if you notice the days where you are not washing your face frequently enough, your skin either looks dull, dirty, or you experience more pimples / acne breakouts. Not to mention how dirty we feel when our body is projecting a certain odor. You don't need to have an extravagant routine, but at least try to have about 4 hygienic products (soap, deodorant, lotion, & body spray/prrfume) and 4 skincare products (facial cleanser (I recommend double cleansing!), serum, SPF/Sunscreen, & face lotion).

Mirror work, saying affirmations in the mirror has proven to be helpful for people's self esteem & feeling more confident with their physical appearance.

Change your wardrobe! Start dressing for your body type & how your ideal self would. It might feel uncomfortable at first but you will feel so much more beautiful! You could try finding videos on tiktok of people with your body type to help (for example, if you are plus sized, you could search your desired aesthetic & find people with the same shape as you).

Detox from social media 📱, learn when it is time to take a break from your phone & engage with the real world. Scrolling for hours on your phone can be really harmful especially if you're reading negative comments or watching videos that are self depreciating.

Follow people who uplift you, not tear you down. If you are following people who obviously are negative or affect your self esteem somehow, then you do not need to be supporting them.

Make appointments! Whether that is a doctor appointment or lash, nail, or hair appointments. Take care of your mind, health, and body. You could ask your doctor what vitamins you should take or also seek a counselor/therapist to find the root of your insecurities in a safe place. Also sometimes just getting my hair or nails done makes me feel more confident!

Learn to treat yourself. Buy yourself flowers or a gift you always wanted but never received. This could be anything, it doesn't necessarily mean to spend money. For example, cooking your favorite food, having a lazy day, etc. Remember that you deserve to be happy!

Lastly, beauty spells, glamour magick, and manifestation are popular methods for people who wish to enhance their physical appearance. I do all of these myself and I always feel so hot afterwards!

I hope you found these tips helpful beautiful ♡!