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lottins-only · 1 month

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I love you, it's ruining my life | Part II

pairing: Kylian x black!Reader

word count: 3.5k

Taglist: @kymb-10

A/N: Part one can be found here. thank you all who read, i really appreciate it <3 . Please comment under this post if you'd like to be tagged on future updates of this series. my inbox is open, and i would love to hear your thoughts or any feedback you have.

II. May 2017

The hot sun cast a golden glow over Monaco as Y/N stepped out of the sleek black car that had picked her up from the airport. After months of Kylian’s persistent invitations and her own growing curiosity, here she was. She had recently wrapped up her exams and high school as a whole while Kylian’s jam-packed season was winding down to a close, so it was the perfect time for a visit.

Everything looked newer here, shinier. Even the girls in front of her at customs looked like they came straight out of a magazine, with their long shiny hair and designer clothing. Her uneasiness had only increased after that. She had always known that Monaco was the playground for the rich, but what she hadn’t quite wrapped her mind around was that Kylian was now one of them. They hadn’t seen each other for the better part of the 4 years since that winter Kylian traveled to Madrid and their lives had changed drastically since then.

Most of their correspondence ever since he moved to Monaco consisted of text exchanges that were short, and that were mostly made up of “Hey, How are you?”s and “How’s school?”s. Once, she caught one of his matches by chance and texted him “You’re on TV!!” to which he’d replied a few hours later “Haha, did you watch the whole match?”, and the conversation had fizzled out quickly after that. On the rare occasions he visited Paris, Kylian didn’t make much effort to see her. She didn’t take it personally; between his charitable commitments, media appearances and family, he didn’t have much time to catch up with old friends. They had their run-ins, however, and those involved interactions so careful and hesitant it bordered on awkward. In short, their relationship was not what it was years ago. It was expected, of course. Lots of things change during those teen years. People change. Even Y/N had expected it a little. An additional layer she hadn’t accounted for was Kylian’s career. He was playing elite football every weekend and getting paid millions for it, while she was trying to stay afloat during exam season. Their lives were going in two very, very different directions. Even so, she’d accepted his invitation to come see him in Monaco for the weekend. The truth was she missed him a lot.

“Y/N!” She had been so busy admiring the sleek and modern house in front of her that she hadn’t noticed Kylian’s mother standing by the front door. She strode to Fayza and was quickly engulfed in a warm embrace.

When they broke away, Kylian’s mother cupped her cheeks and regarded her with an adoring look. “Oh my, what a beautiful girl you’ve grown into”. Y/N blushed and looked at the ground.

“Come on let’s get you inside” Fayza took her bag and led her inside the house. Kylian’s mom asked about her flight, and whether she was hungry. She had some of Fayza’s delicious food before getting settled inside the guest room. She knew Kylian was in training and would be for a couple more hours, so she took her time exploring the house. Memorabilia of Kylian’s young career was littered around the residence. She recognized his first ever football jersey, the number 2 of AS Bondy framed on the wall leading to the living room.

In the late afternoon, she was reunited with Ethan, who once bubbly and loud, had grown shy in her presence. Though It only took an hour or so for him to go back to his usual self. Before long, they had set up a board game on the carpeted living room floor. The little boy quickly lost his excitement over that, however, and so they abandoned the game and he loaded up FIFA on the TV while she scrolled aimlessly on her phone.

At around 8 PM, the exhaustion from the day of traveling caught up to her and she felt her eyes struggling to stay open. She made her way to the guest room and after quickly changing into her pajamas was engulfed by sleep within minutes of her body falling on the mattress.

Later on, she was woken by a knock on the door. She stirred, disoriented and groggy from the unplanned nap. The knock came again, this time more insistent. Her heart skipped a beat as she scrambled out of bed, quickly smoothing down her rumpled clothes.

She opened the door, and there he was. All the uneasiness melted away at the sight of him.

“What’s with all the pink?” Kylian pointed at her pajamas. “You look like the pink panther”

She glanced down at her ensemble before grumbling a quiet “shut up” and standing aside to let him into the room. Secretly, she was glad that he’d opted to greet her with teasing, something that was essential to their old dynamic.

Kyilan walked into the room and flung his body on the bed with a thud. Y/N laid down next to him more quietly. “Nice place you’ve got out here. It’s really big” she said, staring up at the ceiling.

Kylian stretched his body out lazily, in typical teenage boy fashion. He smirked and replied “That’s what she said”

Y/N rolled her eyes, unable to help the smile on her face. She shoved him slightly, trying to regain space on the bed. “How was training?”

“It was good” he responded. “Sorry I kept you waiting. Coach made us do more drills than usual, and then the recovery session ran late. I really, really hate cryotherapy, but it helps with injury prevention so I guess I shouldn’t complain…”

As he spoke, Y/N’s gaze involuntarily drifted down his frame. The first thing she noticed was that he had grown a couple more inches from the last time she saw him. His eyes were as big and brown, and in her humble opinion, as pretty as ever. He had grown into some of his features, yet his face was full of the youthful softness that she’d come to adore. His skin was tanner than usual, no doubt from the fact that he spent most of his days running around on a football pitch under the glaring sun.

She had also caught the glint of the expensive watch on his wrist, and the way he’d stood with a subtle sense of self-assuredness at the door. The sight had been both familiar and foreign, strangely.

“Wait, I have a funny video to show you from training”. As he shifted to get his phone out of his pocket, the sleeves of his Nike T-shirt rolled up slightly to reveal more of his smooth golden brown skin and toned bicep. The muscle flexed deliciously as he moved. She tore eyes away reluctantly. Suddenly, she became conscious of their proximity on the bed, and how if one of them moved an inch closer their arms would be touching.

The video showed Kylian and two of his friends in the hot tub gleefully tossing someone’s phone around while the owner of the phone sat watching anxiously. Y/N giggled at their antics, certain that it had been Kylian’s idea.

In the corner of her eyes, she saw Kylian glance away from the screen of his phone to appraise her.

“You look different, you know”

Y/N looked down at herself self-consciously. She would have preferred to look more put together for their reunion, maybe without sleep-disheveled hair and clothes that weren’t hot pink pajamas. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged, eyes now back on his phone. “I don’t know. You just look different”

She didn’t respond to that. She’d also experienced a growth spurt since the last time she saw him. She wondered if he studied her just as she’d studied him. Did he notice that she wore makeup now? Or the new signature perfume she’d adopted? Or, she thought, flushing, Did he notice she had boobs now?

Kylian stood up from the bed abruptly, knocking her out of her thoughts. He stretched out his arm for her and she took it. “Come, let’s go to the kitchen. I’m hungry”

She tried to ignore the warmth that spread through her at that contact.

****************

“So yeah, Amalfi was great” Isabelle said over the loud music.

Y/N nodded in what hopefully seemed an enthusiastic manner. She opened her mouth to respond but realized she had run out of things to say. The alcohol in her system seemed to have made the opposite of its intended effect; her social skills had been dulled. She turned her gaze to her cup and tried to think, but her head was spinning, albeit very slowly. It was her last night in Monaco and Kylian had taken her to a friend’s house party. She’d been introduced to some of his teammates and other friends. As the night went on, she’d found herself in the company of Isabelle, with Kylian nowhere to be found. Isabelle was apparently a friend of a friend of Kylian’s, having known him ever since he moved to Monaco.

Y/N looked up from her cup to find Isabelle looking at her expectantly.

A beat of excruciating silence ensued.

“So how do you know Kylian again?” Isabelle mercifully asked.

“Oh, uh, we grew up together in Paris” Y/N responded gratefully. “Same neighborhood, same school. He’s much cooler now, except for the fact that he doesn’t have a driving license and doesn’t plan to get one. Like ever”

Isabelle let out a laugh. “Oh my god, tell me about it. That’s all Sophia ever complains about”

Y/N didn’t know who Sophia was, but she had her suspicions. Kylian had been texting on his phone on the dinner table so much the night before that his mother had scolded him. His eyes had been constantly drawn to his phone, his attention clearly divided between whatever was on it and the chatter of conversation between Y/N and the Mbappes. It hadn’t escaped the notice of Y/N and it had taken up more space in her mind than she’d liked, so much so that she’d stayed up in bed mulling it over. Who else can it be, if not a girl? She’d thought.

She took a sip from her drink coolly. “Really?”

“Oh yeah, she wants a man that can drive her around. And I get it, you earn millions and you don’t want to get, like, a cool sports car? I’ve never met a guy like that”

Y/N stayed silent, waiting for her to add more.

Isabelle leaned into her ear, and said in a hushed and conspiratorial tone, “But between you and me, she’s said that he’s really good in the bedroom. Like, he gets her there all the time, you know what I mean?”

Y/N winced at the strong alcohol breath coming out of Isabelle’s mouth.

She leaned away and gave an exaggerated wink, as if she hadn’t laid everything out plainly.

Their conversation shifted to other topics and Y/N’s mind wandered. She was glad she had found confirmation of what she already knew from someone else, because now she could control her reaction when he told her, if he planned to tell her. She felt a pang in her heart at the fact that they’d grown apart so much that Kylian had failed to mention a girlfriend to her. Maybe he thought it was a detail she wouldn’t care for. He’d updated her on practically every aspect of his life but this when they’d spoken yesterday. She cared, of course. So much so that she was contemplating how she’d react when she eventually found out. Would she be teasing, or nonchalant? Whatever it was going to be, she needed to be the picture of indifference.

Maybe it was the information she’d just received, or the alcohol she wasn’t used to consuming, but she felt her stomach rolling. Isabelle, bless her, pointed her in the direction of the bathroom. Unfortunately, it was occupied. Deciding to try the upstairs bathroom, she hurried to the stairs and climbed the steps two at a time. She was desperate to find a room to take a respite.

The hallways of the second floor were completely empty. She tried opening several doors, but they were locked. She spotted a final door at the end of the hall. She walked over and turned the handle. To her immense relief, the door swung open easily.

She immediately stopped in her tracks at what she saw in front of her. Kylian was sprawled on a sofa, his head lying on the lap of a girl. She was leaning down, her long blonde hair a curtain around them. She was caressing his forehead, and he was looking up at her, murmuring something Y/N couldn’t hear.

Their heads snapped up as soon as they heard the door open, breaking the intimate spell.

“I was looking for the bathroom” Y/N let out. She could feel the bile rising up to her throat. She quickly turned and walked away before they had a chance to respond.

A woman walking towards her saw the panicked look on her face and pointed her to the bathroom. An unoccupied one, finally. Everything she had consumed throughout the day immediately left her body as soon as she saw the open toilet bowl. She retched and retched, feeling the scratch on her throat. Afterwards, she looked at herself in the mirror and cringed. Her mascara was running down her face, and her curls had turned extremely frizzy. She did her best to fix both her makeup and her hair before leaving the bathroom.

She found Kylian sitting on the stairs. He looked up at her, concern clearly written in his deep brown eyes. Her heart swelled at the sight. My sweet Kylian, she thought.

“Are you okay?” He asked as she sat beside him.

“My tummy wasn’t great for a while there, but all good now!” She chirped.

“Oh, ok. I’m glad. I-”

“So, you have a girlfriend now, huh?” she said, before he could make any more comments about her state.

He rolled his eyes at her and smiled. “What? Is that hard to believe?”

“No,not at all” She said. “ I mean, I don’t see how she can see past your coconut shaped head, but that’s just me”

He gave her a shove in response, and she giggled.

“Soo…?” She looked at him expectantly.

“Her name is Sophia. We met through one of my buddies at Clairefontaine. And we’re not dating dating, we’re just…” He trailed off, avoiding her gaze.

“Hooking up?”

“Yeah” he said sheepishly. “But its not all there is to it. It’s complicated”

“How long?”

“Like, 3 months?” he shrugged. “We’ve been talking for longer than that, though”

There was a brief pause as she processed the information.

“That’s nice… I’m glad you’re... having fun, I guess” She measured her words.

He hesitated, then added “Actually, there’s something else I haven’t mentioned yet”

What now? She thought bitterly.

“I’m moving back to Paris” he revealed. “To play for PSG”

Her eyes widened. She had been vaguely aware that there were football transfer rumors surrounding Kylian that summer, but she hadn’t paid much attention to them.

“And, uh, I was really hoping we could hang out and stuff. Like old times” he continued “I miss you, you know. I wish we’d stayed in touch more”

He had a hopeful look on his face, which made what she was about to tell him even harder.

“Congrats, Kyks” she said, leaning her head on his shoulder. “But you should know, I’m also gonna be moving. To the US for university.”

Kylian looked at her, clearly surprised. “Really?”

“Yeah, to John Hopkins to study biomedical engineering” She looked at her lap shyly.

Kylian let out a joyous laugh, and her heart swelled at the sight of his dimples. “I don’t know what that even means but I’m so proud of you”

“ I’m really proud of you too, Kylian”

She felt a twinge of sadness that she wouldn’t be there for the next chapter of his career, but she was excited for him. This was the natural next step for him.

They held eye contact for a few seconds. Once again, their lives were changing. Who knew what kind of relationship they’d have in a year’s time. All she knew was that she wanted him in her life, no matter what. She could see the same realization in Kylian’s eyes.

“Even if you’re not in Paris,” he said. “I want to stay friends. I want you to be in my life.”

She nodded, trying to stop her eyes from welling up with tears.

They sat there in silence for a few minutes, and Y/N was reminded of the times they spent in silence when they were younger, with unspoken understanding and easy companionship flowing between them. The days when they’d be sat in her room, her by her desk doing her homework and him on the floor flipping through his Manga. Her mother would bring them some snacks and would deliberately leave the door open as she left, her way of keeping a watchful eye on them, much to the embarrassment of Y/N. For her part, she would relish the times when Kylian was so absorbed by whatever was in front of him that she’d be able to take long, furtive glances and drink in his long eyelashes, or the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

“Did you really think I’d hide a whole girlfriend from you?” his voice brought her out of her reverie.

“Well, it turns out you were hiding an entire situationship from me” She pointed out.

“I don’t know how to talk to you about these things, to be honest” Kylian said awkwardly.

She understood. She hadn’t told him about what little developments there were in her romantic life, either. She didn’t know how that would go.

She scooted closer to him. “Ok. From now on, let's talk about these things. No matter how weird it feels. Pinky promise”

She held out her pinky finger, and he wrapped his around it with a smile on his face.

“Can I ask why it's complicated? You looked really comfortable with her back there” She regretted asking the question as soon as it came out of her mouth.

“I don’t know” He paused, clearly thinking about his answer “ I think maybe it’s my trust issues. People here know me as Kylian Mbappe, number 29 for Monaco. They don’t know me like you do. Plus, I don’t think I would even have time for a serious relationship. And I’m not stringing her along either, if you were thinking that. We’ve talked about it openly ”

Y/N felt strangely reassured by that.

“And maybe..." he paused, contemplating his next words. "Maybe things would be different if you were here”

His eyes held an intense look, as if trying to convey something his lips couldn’t and wouldn’t dare to.

Her breath caught in her throat. Before she could say something in response, Kylian’s phone rang out. It was his driver, here to pick them up. Kylian had training early the next day, and disciplined as he was, made sure to set a curfew for himself. They left the party immediately, the conversation discarded just like that.

In the car, Y/N’s mind ran through the contents of the evening. She was glad that Kylian made no effort to introduce her to Sophia. She didn’t know if she could keep up the pretense of indifference if she saw them together again. Whenever her mind went to the scene she’d found them in the bedroom, something in her deflated. It would have hurt less if she’d caught them in bed doing the deed, she later decided. She could still see it in her mind; how relaxed he looked with his head on her lap, how their faces were so close together. Girlfriend or not, it was clear they had casual intimacy Y/N thought he’d never have with anyone else besides her.

Pretty early on in their friendship, Y/N had made peace with the fact that she would be sharing her best friend with the rest of the world. She had always known he was destined for greatness, and that he would be loved by many. But deep down, she always believed that there wouldn’t be anyone that would love him the same way she did, that had access to him like she did, and that knew him the way she did. She hadn’t realized it, but she’d come to Monaco with a fantasy in her mind that all of a sudden he’d look at her differently, that he’d finally see her the way she did him. How wrong she was. It was idiotic of her to assume that someone like him would stay single or celibate. He was a good looking 18 year old millionaire with more charisma than most grown men. All he’d have to do was flash those dimples to get any girl he wanted.

Then, there was the part from the evening that lingered with her the most. Maybe things would be different, if you were here. Y/N’s mind whirled.

When they got home, Y/N sat with her laptop open in the guest room. What Isabelle said had also stuck with her. On Google, she typed Is female orgasm common?

She clicked the top result and skimmed the article until she found her answer: More than 90% of men usually experience orgasm in their intercourse; among women, this proportion is only around 50%.

Well, what a lucky girl Sophia was. Y/N shut her laptop angrily.

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thegreymarveljedi · 2 months

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Reunited At Last

(Rebels! Rex x Reader)

Okay! So this is my first time posting a fanfic here and I’m so nervous that something is going to go wrong so please be patient with me!

This is a Rebels! Rex x Reader story with a flashback to the Clone Wars Era. Bear with me for some non lore accurate stuff because it’s fanfic, it doesn’t have to be completely accurate.

The reader and Ahsoka are go friends in this and the reader also knows The Bad Batch as well. She went through Order 66 and stuff so please be kind to me with how I’ve written it.

Warnings: 18+, Minor DNI, Angst, anxiety attack, allusions to PTSD, hurt/comfort, talk of force visions, SMUTTTTT, unprotected p in v sex, creampie, oral F-receiving, teasing, pet names, order 66 scene, canon-typical violence, pregnancy, force bond and connections work how I need them too, swearing, happy ending.

Words: 13.0k

—————

Mando’a Translations

Ner ad - My son

Buir - Mother (in this context)

Oh ner ad. Udesiir. Haalur ti ni ad’ika - oh my son. Relax. Breathe with me little one

Cyar’ika - Darling

Cyare - beloved

Dala - Woman

Ori’vod - older brother

Di’kuts - idiots

Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum - I love you

Ner Alor’ad - my captain

Su cuy’gar - you’re still alive!

Sha’jika al’verde - Cease fire commander!

Udes verde - Rest soldiers

Su cuy’gar ner alor’ad - you’re alive my captain

—————

I opened my eyes to the feeling of a weight on my chest, the blankets on my cot being rustled before they settled back down. I felt an arm wrapped around my stomach and squeezing gently. I smiled softly and pulled my little, not so little anymore, boy into my arms, scratching his head as he breathed a sighed.

“Did I wake you mom?” He asked and I smiled and shook my head.

“It’s okay ner ad. What’s on your mind?” I asked and my son Cody, peeked up from where he lay in my arms.

“I-I-“ he stuttered, words failing to come out. I pulled him into my arms a little tighter, just holding him and stroking his hair. He calmed down as the minutes ticked by, not saying a word yet but I didn’t mind, I was here for him.

“I had a vision ma..” he said quietly and I tensed briefly before relaxing again, holding my son a little tighter. I took a deep breath before sitting up with Cody in my arms. I manoeuvred him so that he was sat beside me, my arms still around him.

“What was it about honey?” I asked quietly, still in shock that my 14 year old was having visions.

“ I -I think it was about…dad..” he said hesitantly. I flinched a little harder at that and pulled Cody into me even more, trying to hold back the tears that were beginning to form.

“W-what about your father?” I asked quietly and sniffed, trying not to think about the man I love. Or loved I guess.

“I think he’s alive buir,” Cody whispered and I finally let go of him, standing up abruptly only to collapse to the floor.

“Mom!” Cody yelped and came to my side, trying to help me. I was shaking now, having flashbacks to the last time I saw my beloved husband. My breathing became faster and my hands began to clam up.

“Kanan!” Cody yelled as he came in front of me, holding my face in his hands.

“Mom! Mom look at me,” He said and my eyes shifted rapidly to his before darting around the room more, trying to ground myself. Just then the door to our quarters swung open and Kanan appeared, the rest of the Ghost crew in the door way.

“(Y/N)!” Kanan said and came to Cody’s side in front of me, holding my shoulders gently yet firmly. He turned back to look at Hera who knew exactly what that meant. She ushered Zeb and Sabine to the kitchenette to get some water and rations as Ezra came into the room and sat next to Kanan.

“(Y/N), can you hear me?” He said and I felt myself nod, my eyes still darting around. Cody sat there frozen, knowing that mentioning his dad was a difficult subject but not wanting to lie to me.

“What happened Cody?” Ezra asked quietly as Kanan continued trying to pull me out of my panic attack. He held my hands now, trying to let me know that I was safe.

Cody moved over to be closer to Ezra, trying not to trigger me with his words. He leaned over and whispered to Ezra what happened, Ezra looking at him with wide eyes once he finished the explanation.

“(Y/N), you’re okay. Do you know where you are?” Kanan asked and I nodded.

“T-the Gho-ost-“ I stuttered out, my hand blindly reaching for Cody’s hand. He grabbed mine immediately, holding it in his.

“Okay, that’s a start. Do you remember who I am?” He asked next, hands back on my shoulders. I nodded again.

“K-Kanan Jarrus, knight of the Jedi - Jedi order.,” I said, blinking rapidly trying to focus my eyes on Kanan.

“And who are you?” He asked quietly and I closed my eyes, focusing on my surroundings. I held Cody’s hand in mine, my other hand finding purchase on Kanans shoulder and my head finding a place on Ezra’s shoulder. I slowly exhaled before my eyes opened again, lifting my head and looking at Kanan then Ezra and finally looking to my son.

“(Y/N) (L/N), Jedi Master and mother to a beautiful son,” I said and a small smile graced my lips. Cody smiled and launched himself at me as the door to our quarters opened up again, Hera, Sabine and Zeb standing there with some water and rations.

“You okay (Y/N)?” Hera asked and I nodded, my arms wrapped tightly around my Cody, his around me.

“What happened?” Sabine asked and Ezra stood up and took the rations and water from her and Zeb, handing them to Kanan who placed them on the floor next to me. Ezra led Zeb and Sabine to the common room to explain the situation, Hera staying back to make sure I was okay.

“I’m okay Hera. Thanks to you guys,” I said and Cody began to let go.

“I’m sorry mom,” He whispered and hung his head, sniffling.

“Oh ner ad. Udesiir. Haalur ti ni ad’ika,” I said. Cody took a deep breath, following my breathing until his tears stopped forming. Kanan sat there with us, just his presence in the force enough to calm me down. Kanan had become like a brother to me in these last few years, helping me to raise Cody to be a kindhearted boy. Hera was like a sister to me, always making sure that the Ghost was a safe space for me to be. Zeb, Ezra, and Sabine I saw as my kids too. I always wanted to be strong for them.

“You okay now (Y/N)?” Kanan asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. I looked to him and nodded, slowly letting go of Cody and standing up with Kanan’s help.

“I’m okay now. Thank you for your help,” I said and Kanan smiled, pulling me in to a hug.

“Anytime. You would do the same for me,” He replied and Hera walked into the room and pulled me in for a hug too.

“Get some rest (Y/N), we’ll be meeting up with the fleet soon. And I think Ahsoka will be there,” Hera said and Cody lit up at the mention of his Aunt.

“We’re meeting up with Auntie Ahsoka?” He asked, beaming from ear to ear. Kanan and Hera smiled and brought Cody in for a hug, enjoying the child like innocence that Cody displayed.

“We will be soon enough,” Hera replied and Cody jumped coming over to me and giving me a hug. I smiled at my son, happy to see him excited. I then looked to Kanan and Hera who shared a happy look, Kanan wrapping his arm around her.

“Come on kiddo, let’s let your mom get some sleep okay?” Kanan said and Cody nodded but didn’t let go right away. I smiled down at my boy and kissed his forehead, scratching his head a little.

“I’ll be okay Cody, you go hang out with the crew. I’m just going to lay down for a little longer,” I said and Cody nodded, pulling away from our hug slowly. I smiled at him as he left the room with Kanan, Hera staying behind for another minute. She turned to me, giving me a look I know all to well.

“I know Hera. But I can’t help it. He was my first love and it’s still painful,” I said and Hera nodded, pulling me into a hug.

“I know it is but you’ll have to tell him eventually,” She said and I sighed, nodding because I knew she was right. I just didn’t want to think back to that day. Hera pulled away from the hug and placed her hand on my shoulder.

“Get some rest. Someone will come get you when we rendezvous with the fleet,” Hera said and I nodded, watching as she walked out and the door slid closed behind her.

I sighed and moved back towards my cot, sitting on the edge and wrapping a blanket around myself. I sat there, deep in thought. Thinking about my beloved while trying not to think about the last time we saw one another. My eyes began to water as I recalled the day we were forced to part.

~Flashback~

“Cyar’ika~” Rex said in a quiet, sing song voice as my eyes squinted, the sun light coming through the curtains of my room and illuminating the room. I smiled and kept my eyes closed, not wanting this moment to end. Rex wrapped his arms around me and pulled me back towards him, kissing my neck and shoulders. I giggled a little and stretched, taking a deep breath before turning to face my love.

Rex smiled at me as I turned around, loosening his hold to let me flip over and face him. Once I was facing him, he took the opportunity to kiss my lips. I smiled into the kiss and held his face, not wanting the moment to end.

“Good morning Rex~” I said quietly, smiling as we pulled away from the kiss. Rex kissed my forehead before pulling back to look at me.

“Good morning Cyar’ika,” He said and held me a little tighter. We stayed like that for a little longer, talking quietly with one another and laughing about whatever we found on the holonet. Our joyful atmosphere was shattered by the beeping of Rex’s comlink. Rex groaned and tried to bury his face into my neck, not wanting to leave this moment.

After a minute of the com going off it stopped and we both breathed a sigh. Before it started going off again cause us both to groan. Rex finally picked it, his arm still wrapped around me as he answered the person in the other end.

“Captain Rex here,” He said and there was a chuckle on the other end. Rex rolled his eyes with a smile before repeating himself, just for appearance sake.

“Rex, my man. We’ve got a new mission,” Anakin voice came over the com, playful yet serious as always. Rex groaned and buried his face in my neck, hearing Anakin laugh from the comlink.

“Do we have to?” Rex said like a child cause me to burst out laughing. Anakin was historically laughing as well, not being able to keep his composure.

“Yes we do Captain. You’ve got one more hour until we leave,” Anakin said and Rex nodded to himself.

“Of course General,” He replied, wanting to savour the next hour.

“Hey (Y/N)!” Anakin added with a chuckle.

“Hi Anakin,” I replied, still trying to catch my breath.

“I hope you’re taking good care of my captain,” He said and Rex groaned while I laughed again.

“He’s in good hands Skywalker, no need to worry,” Anakin laughed again and shook his head.

“Alright, I believe. We’ll see you when we get back from our mission,” Anakin said. I nodded and gave Rex a kiss on the cheek as he sat there in embarrassment.

“Alrighty Skywalker. Be safe and tell Obi-wan I say hello,” I replied and Anakin responded with a “will do!” Before the line cut out. Once I was sure the com was off I burst into giggles again, holding my stomach as Rex pouted with a small smile.

Anakin knew of our relationship and besides Padme, and my commander, no one knew. Though I’m pretty sure my captain and ARC Trooper do. If so, they haven’t said anything to my other men which I’m thankful for. We wanted to keep it that way but because Anakin and I were such close friends it was obvious that we would tell him when our relationship started. He always teased Rex but he knew how to keep quiet around his other men, not wanting any of them to accidentally say anything to anyone else.

“You’re so cute Rex.” I said and his cheeks turned pink, still not used to being complimented even after being together for two years. He sat up and stretched, scratching the back of his head. I sat up as well and crawled over to him, draping my arms over his shoulders. He smiled and held my arms as I kissed his neck. He groaned quietly and tilted his head to the side, giving me a little more room. I smirked against his neck as I bit down softly, drawing a moan from him.

“Cyar’ika~” he growled and I smirked before pulling away, dodging his attempt to grab me. I laughed and stood up as he reached for me again, smirking a little.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish Cyare~” he growling, managing to grab my arm and pull me back to the bed, maneuvering us so he was on top with me pinned beneath him.

I sighed as he leaned down and kissed me, his tongue finding its way into my mouth. I groaned as he kissed down to my neck, returning the bite I gave to him. My back arched as he left a few more marks on my chest.

“R-Rex~” I stuttered out as he let go of my arms, moving down and holding my hips as he stared at me. I looked down at him and watched as he smirked, pulling my panties to the side and licking a strip up my pussy. My head fell back against the pillows and my hand found its way to his buzzed head.

“Fuck~” I whimpered as he did it again, and again and again. I was putty in his hands. I tugged on his arm, hoping to get him back up to me. He understood what I wanted and sat up, removing my panties as I removed my shirt. He quickly stripped himself of his blacks, wanting the same thing I did.

I helped him with his shirt and once it was over his head and on the floor, I pulled him down for heated kiss. He reciprocated immediately, fumbling slightly before he positioned his cock at my cunt. He pushed in quickly, breaking the kiss as we both moaned at the amazing feeling.

He began thrusting fast, gripping my hips as he went, pounding me into the bed. I moaned his name over and over, relishing in the feeling of him inside me.

“Fuckkk you feel so good around me cyar’ika~” he groaned and lifted my legs over his shoulders, his cock reaching even deeper. I threw my head back and screamed, thankful I had a soundproof apartment away from the temple. My hands gripped the sheets, feeling myself squirt and cum before the blissful feeling set in. Rex groaned and kept thrusting, even with his bottom half soaked in my juices.

“Re-Rex!” I cried out as he managed to get me to cum again. Or was it just a continuation of my first orgasm? I couldn’t tell as I felt Rex empty himself inside me, his cock pulsing for a minute more before it finally began to get soft.

We panted, our heart beating fast but together, our breathing syncing up the exact same way. He gently let my legs go, easing them down to the bed and leaning over me to give me a keldabe kiss. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him as he withdrew his cock from inside me.

“That felt amazing cyare~” he whispered and I nodded, leaning in and giving him a proper kiss, he returned it just as sweetly, smiling into it as I gave him a squeeze. We both pulled away, content in the moment before we were interrupted once again, this time by my commlink going off.

Rex groaned as I giggled, reaching over and answering the com.

“(L/N) here?” I answered and there was snickering from the other side before a stern voice shushed it.

“General. We have a briefing in an hour before we ship out,” My Clone commander Chomp said and there was more snickering. I laughed and shook my head, bringing my hand up to scratch Rex’s head. He went limp in my arms, practically purring into my neck while still trying to keep quiet.

“Alright Chomp. I’ll be there soon. And Manik and Spike know I can hear them laughing right?” I asked him, listening as my captain and Arc trooper burst out into even louder laughter. I could feel Chomp rolling his eyes as he scolded his younger brothers.

“That’s enough you too. Or I increase your daily work out,” He barked and the other two calmed down, managing to stand at attention while still smiling.

“Fine by me sir. Maybe that means we can find a beautiful dala like our Ori’vod has,” Spike said. I could sense their smiles as they thought about it, causing me to laugh.

“Alright you di’kuts. Enough. What our general does in her personal time is none of our business. Now if you two want to enjoy your shore leave after our mission I suggest you zip it,” Chomp said sternly and Manik and Spike finally shut up. I was laughing hysterically and I could feel Rex trying to hold his laughter as well.

“I’ll see you guys soon,” I said quickly and cut the comms. Rex and I sat there for a moment before we busted out laughing, both of us not being able to hold it in. Finally after another ten minutes of laying down, we both got up and got dressed, making sure that the marks we gave one another were not visible.

I helped Rex adjust his armour, making sure nothing was pinching his skin. He in turn helped me straighten out my robes, laying them in place expertly as if they had not been haphazardly thrown on the floor the night before. We smiled at each other and gave one final kiss before Rex had to leave.

“Hopefully this war will be over soon and we can escape to another planet,” I said and Rex nodded in agreement.

“Soon cyar’ika. Hopefully soon. And then we can start a family,” He evened and I blushed, knowing exactly what Rex was thinking. He smirked and pulled me in for another heated kiss before I had to push him away, not wanting to get caught up in the moment and carried away.

“Oh don’t worry ner alor’ad. You will have all the time in the world to see me pregnant. I promise you that,” I said and Rex buried his face in my neck and groaned.

“Speak like that and you’ll give me a hard on again,” He said and I could feel the smallest amount of pressure from his codpiece. I laughed and hugged him, not wanting the moment to end.

We pulled away from one another before Rex reached into one of the pouches on his belt and pulled out a necklace. My eyes went wide as I stared at it, the piece of jewelry simple yet gorgeous. Rex smiled sheepishly at me and he held it up, looking between the necklace and me. It was a silver chain with a small pendant, a sapphire gem in the middle with smaller diamond as around it.

“Rex…” I breathed out and he smiled.

“I wanted to get you something nice. I had a little help because we clones don’t make money but I want you to have something to remind you of me,” He said and I slowly reached for the necklace, Rex letting it rest in my hands. It had more weight on it than it looked and I wondered what it was made of. I ran my thumb over the gem before turning the pendant over, a gasp leaving lips as I stared at the jaig eyes engraved on the back.

“Oh Rex…” I whispered and he smiled an innocent smile at me.

“I-it’s made of beskar so you can wear it in the field and not worry about it falling off,” Rex said and I was still at a loss for words. He slowly took the necklace from my hands and walked around me, situating himself behind me.

I stood still ask Rex placed the necklace around my neck fastening the clip and adjusting it so that it was comfortable. I reached my hand up to feel the necklace, the slight weight on my neck comforting. I smiled as I turned to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck and hiding my face in his neck. His arms wrapped around me, giving me a gentle squeeze as we stayed there for what felt like an eternity. Finally we pulled away from one another and giggled together.

“Thank you Rex. It’s absolutely beautiful,” I breathed and Rex smiled.

“You’re worth it to me my love. It wasn’t easy but I called in a few favours.” He said and I smiled as I went in for another hug. “Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Cyar’ika,” Rex said and I smiled as he gave me a Keldabe kiss.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner Alor’ad. Be safe please,” I replied and Rex smiled, letting go and making his way to the door and out first, trying not to raise suspicion. He turned back to give me one more smile and a tiny salute before he disappeared out the door. I sighed as I was left to my own devices for a short time before I made my way out, taking my fighter and flying to the temple.

~Time Skip~

“General! We’ve just received word from general Kenobi! He has engaged General Gervious on Utapau,” Commander Chomp informed me as we wrapped up our own battle on the surface of Vassek.

“Very good commander. Let’s clean up here and get back to Coruscant. I want a celebratory drink for the end of the war!” I said and Chomp laughed, Manik and Spike joining in as they came up to us.

Just then my com went off and I excused myself to take the call.

“(L/N) here?” I said and I heard a small sigh of relief from the other end, a smiling gracing my face as I felt Rex’s relief.

“Just checking in on you. I heard about your battle and wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said and I smiled at his concern.

“No need to worry about me Rex. Takes a lot more than a few droids to take me down. How about you? How is everything in your campaign?” I asked and heard Rex take in a deep breathe before exhaling.

“U-um well, everything on Anaxes has been dealt with...” Rex said, a little hesitation in his voice. That concerned me because Rex was never this hesitant to talk about his missions before.

“What’s wrong Rex?” I ask softly and I heard another sigh.

“We found something on Anaxes that led us to Skako Minor and we…” before I could finish, I gasped.

“Skako minor?? Like home of the Techno Union Skako Minor??” I questioned, my heart pounding, wondering what could be so important that they had to go to the heart of the Techno Union.

“Yeah that one,” Rex said let out a small huffed laugh. I rolled my eyes and moved a little further away from my men.

“Rex it’s not funny. You could have been captured or at worse killed! Who okayed this mission? The council surely wouldn’t so I’m assuming Anakin didn’t have offi-” my rambling was cut off my Rex telling me something that I knew I couldn’t be mad at him for.

“Cyar’ika, Echo’s alive,” He breathed and my eyes widened, shock riddling my body. I had no words. I knew how much Echo’s death had affected my Captain and Fives when he was still here but to hear that he was alive was a shock and a relief.

“H-he is?” I whispered and I could feel Rex’s smile.

“He’s alive. Altered both physically and mentally but he is back with us,” Rex said then went on to explain what happened in full detail. He ended off by telling me that Echo had chosen to go with Clone Force 99 or The Bad Batch.

“That’s good. He is in good hands with Hunter and the others. Though I’m sure it will take Crosshair a while to warm up to him,” I chuckled and Rex laughed.

“Yeah, he’s a tough one to crack. But I’m sure Echo will be okay,” Rex said and I nodded, trying my best to reach Rex through the force and surround him with comfort.

“Thank you Cyar’ika,” He whispered and I smiled, knowing that I had reached him.

“Where are you now?” I asked and I heard a short intake of breath.

“I-I’m on Mandalore with half the 501st and the 332nd,” he said and once again I was dumbfounded before Rex went on to explain why. He explained how Ahsoka was back as well and how she was helping Bo Katan Kryze reclaim her home from Darth Maul. All of this information was overwhelming but I was just happy Ahsoka was alive and well.

“Tell her I say hello and to protect my captain,” I said and smiled, Rex letting out a short chuckle in return.

“I will. She is very happy for us and has promised not to let it slip,” Rex said and I gasped.

“You told her already?” I said and I could feel Rex’s embarrassment.

“Well, not really. She was my second in command for 2 years and she can read me like a book so it was pretty obvious to her,” Rex defended himself and I thought for a moment before nodding.

“I don’t know why I’m surprised, she was always a very perceptive Jedi,” I said and I couldn’t feel Rex nodding.

“Anyway, I have to go. We’re transporting Maul to Coruscant now,” Rex said quickly, I guess making sure no one knew who he was speaking to.

“Will do alor’ad. We just finished up here so we will also be making our way back to Coruscant. The next time I see you the war will be over,” I said with a big smile, happy that I could finally leave the order with Rex so that we could start a life together.

“Definitely cyare. Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum and I will see you back on Coruscant,” Rex said and I smiled even more.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum Alor’ad,” I said and the transmission cut. I smiled and pocketed my com before making my way back over to my men, who were all loaded up in the gun ship and ready to head out.

~Time Skip~

We had been in hyper space for about an hour now when I felt an immense pain in my chest, like my heart had been grabbed and squeezed. I collapsed on the bridge, Chomp moving over to my side.

“General! Are you alright?” He asked and my head began to throb. I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t hear what else was said. The words being said sounded like they were being run through a blender. I felt our cruiser leave hyperspace but everything was still a blur.

“General can you hear me?” Chomps voice finally became a little clearer, though I could feel something terrible coming.

“Ready my ship and release my hyperspace ring. Disable tracking and divert power to the engines,” I practically whispered but my commander didn’t question it and order for a few troops to do as I asked.

“What’s happening (Y/N)?” Chomp whispered as he helped me up, Manik and Spike coming to my side as well.

“Something terrible is coming. And I need to be far away from here when it does,” I said and took a deep breath, trying to regain my strength.

“What’s coming general?” Spike said, a small note of fear in his voice. I looked at my three most trusted men, thinking about everything we had been through together.

“Come with me, the three of you. We haven’t much time,” I said and quickly began walking off the bridge and to the medbay. Chomp, Manik and Spike quickly followed, concerned for me but also curious as to what was happening.

When we made it to the medbay I ordered all personnel out, not giving anyone a chance to argue before they were ushered out by my men and the door sealed.

“(Y/N) please. What is going on?” Manik said and before I could answer, another wave of pain shot through me causing me to faulter, my head was pounded and I could hear screaming that was not my owe. I could hear master Windu, master Fisto and other masters being slaughtered. I shook my head and turned on the MRI scanner, making quick work.

“Take off your helmets and jam all transmissions to your commlinks and the cruiser. Someone is trying to turn you against me,” I said quickly as the machine powered on.

“General what is happening? Please talk to us!” Spike said and I turned to look at my men as they did what I instructed.

“I don’t know exactly what is happening Spike but I know something is wrong. I can feel it in the force and I need you three to trust me please,” I pleaded with them, going up and holding Spikes face in my hands. All three exchanged looks before nodding, Chomp stepping up first and laying on the scanner.

I started the machine and after a few minutes I found something that I had feared. A chip that shouldn’t be there. I remember Rex telling me about something like this around the time that five was killed but I didn’t take him seriously. Now I regret it.

“What is it (Y/N)?” Spike said as he an Manik came up to my side. The machine produced the chip, encased in glass to avoid contamination.

“A ‘behavioural chip’. I put that in quotes because it is something far worse than that. What it is I do not know but I need to remove yours as well. Quickly,” I said as the scanner released Chomp. He didn’t wake right away but I hauled him up and sat him against the adjacent wall, ushering Manik to the scanner.

There was no protest from as he went under. The same thing happened and once again I laid him up against the wall next to Chomp. Spike was the last to go, still a little hesitant even after seeming his brothers go through it.

“Are you sure about this general?” Spike asked and I nodded before feeling another wave of pain. The voices were much louder and I could hear Anakin screaming, I could feel Master Windu in pain and I could feel a sinister presence rising. My ears were ringing and my head pounding as I collapsed, screaming in pain myself, Spike got off the table to be by my side but I shook my head, trying to convey to him that he had to go through the procedure quickly.

Before I could really process what was happening, Spikes helmet was activated and a hologram of a dark figure appeared. I could feel dread take over my body as I watched the cloaked figure speak.

“Arc Trooper Spike. It is time-”

Execute Order 66

The words rang out through the Medbay, Spike going rigid before his shoulders squared. My eyes were wide, my ears not being able to process what was being said.

“It will be done my lord,” Spike replied before moving away from me and scooped up his bucket, placing it on his head before raising his blaster at me.

“Jedi. You are in direct violation of Order 66. You are to be terminated immediately for treason against the galactic republic,” Spike said and my heart dropped, looking over to my Commander and Captain who were still unconscious.

“I don’t want to hurt you Spike,” I whispered as I knelt there, still in disbelief. A shot went off but my lightsaber was in my hand before I could register what was happening, the bolt being deflected and hitting the wall near by.

“SPIKE!” I screamed as a firefight ensued, Spike firing at me and me deflecting what I could. “Spike please! It’s (Y/N)! Your friend!” I continued, trying but failing to get through to my trooper.

“I am not friends with Jedi traitors!” He screamed back and drew his pistols, firing at me twice as fast. I tried to dodge all his shots but one got me in the shoulder causing me to drop my saber.

I screamed in pain as I went down, clutching my injured shoulder with my good hand. Spike walked up to me and aimed his pistol right between my eyes, the look on his face one of no emotion or remorse. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, reaching out to Rex through the force with one final I love you before breaking our bond.

When Rex and I had begun dating, I had created a force bond with him. Even if he was not a force sensitive being, it was possible. And I melded our signatures together, giving him a piece on myself and he did the same to me. Breaking the bond was like shattering my heart, ripping it in half and throwing it aside.

I screamed as I did it, my sorrow creating a ripple effect that sent Spike flying across the room. He landed with a thud before dropping his pistols, laying unconscious on the ground. I could feel how the ripple had affected the ship as a whole, everyone on board being faced with an ear-piercing scream.

I knelt there sobbing as I finally felt the weight of what I did, holding onto my chest as the pain became too much. I could feel an emptiness in my chest, like a hole from a blaster. I didn’t even register that someone was trying to talk to me. The next thing I remember in being carried in someone’s arms, feeling cold before feeling warm again. I blacked out after that.

~Time Skip~

I woke to a gentle humming, feeling the weight of something on top of me and my eyes began to open. I felt a soft blanket on top of me and a pillow under my head, my body lying on a firm surface. I looked to my right, being met with a wall before looking to my left and seeing the inside of a ship. Across the small hull of the shuttle, I could see Spike laying there, a bandage on the right side of his head with his hair cut to accommodate it. I sighed a small sigh of relief, knowing that my Arc trooper was okay. I slowly sat up, clutching my chest as I did. The pain was still there, feeling even deeper than before. I cried out, finally processing what I had done. I had done it to protect Rex. I did not want him to feel my death. I did not want him to feel the pain of that loss.

Little did I know, he felt it ten-fold.

My cries reached the cockpit and Manik came running to me, checking me over to make sure I wasn’t physically hurt.

“General! Are you alright?” He asked quietly. I shook my head and broke down even more, not wanting to believe that I had really severed my connection with Rex.

“It hurts Manik. It hurts so much,” I whispered and clung my battalion captain, not wanting this to be real but knowing all to well that it was.

“What hurts?” He asked and I clutched my chest.

“My heart. My head. I feel like a part of me is missing,” I continued in a hushed voice, not knowing if I could speak any louder.

“Oh general,” Manik said and held me, knowing that something happened but not wanting to pry. We both heard a groan from the other side of the hull, looking over to see Spike waking up. He sat up and rubbed his eyes, before they went wide and he whipped his head around to take in his surroundings. When his eyes landed on me, he leapt up, making the short walk over to where I was and pulling me into a strong hug.

“Su cuy’gar,” He whispered to me and I nodded. I could feel his tears on my shoulder as I hugged him back.

“Yeah,” Was all I said before Chomp came from the cockpit.

“Thank god you two are awake,” he said and came over to the three of us, pulling us all into a group hug. I smiled a little, still feeling the emptiness in my heart. I sniffled and Chomp held onto us tightly, the weighted of the last few hours finally registering for us all.

“What happened?” I asked quietly as the four of us pulled away from the hug. Chomp sighed as he helped me stand, Manik and Spike following suit and we all made our way to the cockpit. Chomp sat in the pilot’s chair, Manik taking copilot and Spike and I sitting in the passenger seats.

“I woke up first, finding you and Spike unconscious on the floor. I figured something must have happened because Spike had his bucket on. I pulled up the security footage and watched everything. I almost didn’t believe what I was watching. But you saved us,” he said and Manik nodded.

“After that I got Spike into the table and finished the procedure. That’s when Manik woke up and I filled him in. He put you on the other one and scanned to make sure you weren’t hurt,” Chomp continued and Manik nodded again, looking a me with a small smile. I was grateful to my men for helping one another but also helping me.

“After I got Spike’s chip out, I helped him while Manik carried you. We were questioned by so many troopers but we played it as cool as we could. Once we made it to the hanger it was too late for them to figure out what we had done and we hijacked a shuttle and booked it,” Chomp said. I was so grateful to them for getting us out of there, still trying to process everything that went on.

“Thank you for saving me,” I said and looked at my men with adoration and gratitude. The Manik and Chomp beamed at me but Spike bowed his head in shame. I turned to him and pulled him into a hug. He tensed a little before returning the hug, looking to his brother who only showed him soft smiles.

“I don’t blame you Spike. It could have happened to anyone,” I said and spoke sighed before pulling away from the hug.

“I know. But I could have killed you,” Spoke said and Chomp placed a hand on Spike’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

“But you didn’t Vod’ika. We saved her and the baby,” Chomp said and I froze. I slowly turned to look at Chomp before looking to Manik to confirm. Both of them tensed a little before Manik let out a forced chuckle.

“I…guess you didn’t know. Congrats general. You’re pregnant,” Manik said. My ears began ringing again as I pulled away from Spike and looked down at my stomach. My hands instinctively went to my stomach where, true to their word, I could sense the life growing inside me. How I hadn’t before was beyond me but I guess I never really paid much attention to it. I knew it was Rex’s baby, and that thought made my eyes water all over again.

Chomp stood up and pulled me into a hug, letting me cry on his shoulder. “It’s okay general. I’m sure Rex is okay. He’s to tough to let some chip get the best of him. What we need to do now is find a safe place to lay low and help you get ready for this baby,” Chomp said and the others agreed. I nodded and sat back down in my seat, letting Chomp, Manik and Spike take the lead.

From there everything changed. The war had ended and the Jedi were deemed traitors. They were hunted and killed; any clones who went against the order were taken to an unknown place. Chomp, Spike, Manik and I had found refuge on an independent world, the three of them helping me through the Woah’s of pregnancy the best they could. It took a long time to adjust but soon enough I had my baby. And I named him Cody after commander Cody.

Sooner or later, I came into contact with Ahsoka again. She had told me that she and Rex had survived but after a few months together she lost contact with him. I was devastated that I would not get to see him again but at least I knew he was alive for the moment. Ahsoka came and met my son, falling in love at the first sight of him. I smiled as she told me more about what happened to her during the order.

It was a difficult conversation but one that needed to be had. As the days passed, my men began going on missions of their own to find and free their brothers, moving from planet to planet trying to make a difference. I stayed at our “home” with my son, trying to raise him as best I could. As he grew, I saw more and more of Rex in him. His eyes, his smile, his hair. He was a little copy of Rex and he loved his uncles very much. I came across Kanan a few years later, welcoming him with open arms.

~End Flashback~

From there the rest is history. Spike, Chomp and Manik checked in often but they were doing their own thing now.

I always think back; the last time I spoke to Rex it was telling him how I love him and how we would run away together and have a big family. I do have a family but it still feels incomplete with him. I’m just happy I told him I love him one last time.

My eyes watered even more as I thought about it, my heart hurting and my head pulsating. I took some more deep breaths before I laid back down, shutting my eyes and trying to get a little more sleep.

~ A few Hours Later ~

I felt someone gently shaking me awake, their presence calming and warm. I smiled and I help the hand of whoever came to get me, knowing instantly that it was Ahsoka.

“Rise and shine (Y/N). There is work to be done,” she said softly and I groaned, not wanting to get up. Ahsoka laughed before I felt a weight on my chest, snuggling into me. I smiled a little more as my arms wrapped around Cody, holding him tightly to me.

“You doing okay mom? I could hear you mumbling and sniffling in your sleep,” Cody asked and I opened my eyes to look at him, seeing Rex reflected in his eyes. I nodded as I scratched his head, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

“I’m okay ner ad,” I said and slowly sat up white Cody’s help, bringing my hand up to my chest. I could feel a dull pain in my heart, the same one I always got when I thought of my Rex. Ahsoka noticed and placed a hand on my shoulder before giving it a gentle squeeze. I looked up at her with a small smile, noting just how much she had grown up.

“Come on. Everyone is on the bridge of the command ship. We’ve got a new mission for you,” Ahsoka said with a hesitate smile. I paid no mind to it as we both had a lot on our minds and plates. I stood up, my arms staying wrapped around Cody as the three of us made our way to Phoenix home.

~Small Time Skip~

“The destruction of our command ship has severely limited our ability to fight the empire in this sector,” Commander Sato said as Ezra and Kanan came into the bridge of Phoenix home.

I stood next to Ahsoka against one of the adjacent walls, holding onto Cody as Commander Sato spoke.

“So maybe we don’t fight,” Ezra said sheepishly when commander Sato gave him a stern look. “Uhhh... commander Sato sir. W-when things got tough for me on Lothal, I’d go find some place to hide,” He continued, using hand gestures to convey his point and I giggled a little, remembering how Rex used to do the same thing.

“You are never shy with your opinions, Ezra Bridger,” Sato shot back, not really amused by Ezra’s words. “But establishing a base is a good idea,” Sato said and Ahsoka smiled, as if to agree but also there was something more in her eyes. I didn’t question it, just holding onto Cody and keeping quiet.

“Problem is, none of the potential bases we know of have the tactical advantage we need to protect what’s left of our fleet,” Hera said with her hands on her hips, concern evident in her voice.

“Or, aid the nearby systems suffering from imperial oppression,” Kansan said as he made his way behind Hera, the Twi’lek turning around to give him a look.

“We can’t help others if we can’t help ourselves Kanan,” Hera said, her voice conveying that it should be an obvious thought. “If only we had more allies,” Hera finished, turning back to the console.

“I know someone, who might be able to help us,” Ahsoka spoke up, hands on her hips and her tone of voice indicated to me that she was hiding something. I looked at her quizzically, but she didn’t not look at me, though she seemed to know I was staring at her. Cody looked up at me and held my hand, trying to send a wave of reassurance through the force.

“A great military commander with vast knowledge of the Outer Rim,” she said and my eyes went slightly wide. My mind went to Rex but I knew that could be possible. Ahsoka wouldn’t keep that from me. Would she?

Cody felt me tense and I couldn’t feel Kanan give me a look as my signature changed slightly, turning from calm to anxious before turning back. Cody turned around and hugged me, whispering to ask me what was wrong. I reassured my son that everything was okay, trying not to let him see my inner turmoil.

“He could assist us in finding a base, and his experienced leadership would make him a powerful ally,” Ahsoka said, moving away from the wall she stood by, making her way over to the holotable. Everyone’s eyes followed her, intrigued by her words. I stayed silent, trying not to let my intrusive thoughts overwhelm me.

“How do we recruit this…leader?” Sato asked, sounding just as much intrigued as he was cautious.

“That’s the problem. I lost track of him a long time ago, and all my transmissions have gone unanswered,” she said and stood there, arms crossed and one holding her chin in thought.

“We can find him. Let us try,” Ezra said optimistically, wanting to do what he could to help the cause.

“Well, there is one option I’ve not yet attempted,” Ahsoka said and smirked, giving Ezra a look before exiting the bridge.

~Small Time Skip~

The Ghost crew was back on board the ship, everyone making their way to the bridge for Ahsoka’s ‘test’. I sent Cody with Ezra and Sabine, making my way to my room to meditate. I had a feeling I knew what Ahsoka was planning but I didn’t want to believe it.

He’s gone. Even if he is alive, you severed your bond. You lost the right to call him yours.

My thoughts swirled as I sat on the floor of mine and Cody’s cabin, trying desperately to get my emotions under control.

~On the bridge~

Chopper beeped out that he had a bad feeling about this, moving away from one of the consoles as the rest of the crew came on. Hera was preparing the Ghost to receive the information when Ahsoka made her way into the cockpit. She was carrying a droid head, smiling softly at Cody’s small exclamation of wonder.

“Is that…the head of an old tactical droid?” Kanan asked, amazed and sceptical.

“These droids were great at finding things, calculating,” Ahsoka said as she handed the head off to Sabine. She scoffed slightly as she thought back to the Clone Wars. “Found my master and I a few times when we didn’t want to be found,” She finished, looking at Kanan before looking to Sabine and Ezra.

“How in all the galaxy is that droid gonna find your friend?” Ezra asked, leaning over towards Sabine to get a better look at the droid head. After Ezra’s question, he, Hera and Sabine all looked to Ahsoka, all wondering the same thing.

Chopper beeped and looked over at Ezra sassily, putting his mechanical arms on his “hips”.

“Well,” Ahsoka started, looking at Ezra to answer his question. “I heard he was last seen in the Seelos system.” She said and turned back towards the door to the cockpit. “You can start there.” She finished.

“You’re not coming with us?” Cody asked and stood up, reaching for Ahsoka.

Ahsoka smiled at the young boy and ruffled his hair before pulling him into a hug. “Not on this mission Cody,” she said and Cody pouted a little, not wanting to let go of his aunt just yet. After another minute he let Ahsoka go.

“I have something else to attend to,” She replied and looked at Ezra over her shoulder.

“The Sith Lord,” Kanan said, no question needed as to what Ahsoka was looking for. This conversation was one that needed to be had with (Y/N) present so Kanan turned to Cody.

“Cody where’s your mom?” Kanan asked softly, placing a hand on the young boy’s shoulder. Cody looked at Kanan before looking to the door leading out of the cockpit.

“She went to our room. I don’t think she’s feeling very well,” Cody said and looked to Kanan then Ahsoka. Both gave each other a look that Cody noticed.

“What’s wrong?” Cody said and Ahsoka sighed before giving Cody a small smile.

“It’s nothing ad’ika. Your mom will be okay.” Ahsoka said. Cody looked at her sceptically for a moment before dropping it. Kanan took his hand off Cody’s shoulder, giving the young boy a smile.

“I’m going to check on her,” Cody said and before anyone could protest, he made his way out of the cockpit and to the cabin he shared with his mother.

~The Ghost Crew~

“There are questions, questions that need answering,” Ahsoka said and looked at Kanan over her other shoulder.

“I wish we could go with you,” Ezra expressed, feeling a little disappointed that he, Kanan and (Y/N) couldn’t go with her to get answers about the Sith Lord.

“You have your own mission, Ezra,” she said and turned back to fully look at him and the rest of the crew before turning and addressing Kanan.

“And Kanan, if you find my friend, you must trust him,” Ahsoka said sternly which caused Ezra to look at her with concern.

“If he’s all the things you say, we can’t afford not to,” Kanan said with a hint of sarcasm, smirking at Ahsoka before it vanished. He could tell she was being serious.

“Trust him, and listen to (Y/N),” Ahsoka repeated again, emphasizing her point as the cockpit doors closed.

“What was that about?” Ezra asked Kanan

“I have no idea,” Kanan said exasperatedly.

~Reader~

Cody opened the door to the cabin, the sight that greeted him was one that hurt his heart. His mother sat there on her cot, tears slowly trailing down her face as she turned something over in her hand.

“Buir?” Cody asked and I looked up at him, startled by his sudden appearance.

“Cody,” I said as I wiped my tears, trying to compose myself for my son. “What’s up kiddo? I thought you were in the cockpit with the rest of the crew,” I asked and Cody walked in, making sure to close the door and lock it behind him as he came and sat on my cot.

“Talk to me mom. Please? There is obviously something on your mind and I want to help in anyway I can,” Cody said quietly and leaned his head on my shoulder. I tensed for a moment before letting out a shaky sigh, taking Cody’s hand in mine.

“I was thinking about your father,” I said softly, lifting my head and tilting it back, trying not to tear up again, Cody looked at me with wide eyes, knowing that this was a topic that I had only talked about a handful of times.

“What about dad?” He asked and I let a ghost of a smile grace my face.

“He was my world. He was everything to me,” I started and Cody turned his full attention to listen, knowing this might be the only time he gets to hear about his father in depth.

“We met at the start of the war. I was the general of a different battalion but we worked closely with the 501st legion. That’s how I met your father, Rex. I knew Anakin, the 501st legions general, because he and I were best friends. I was one of the first people to welcome him when he came to the temple. Anakin was always confident and cocky. He was an amazing friend and when he introduced me to Rex, it was love at first sight. It was against the Jedi code for Jedi to form attachments and it was against regulations for clones to fall in love, much less with a Jedi. We couldn’t be together but we didn’t care. We started our relationship around the one year mark of the war and we had remained in contact ever since. I got my own apartment outside of the temple so that Rex and I could spend time together, away from prying eyes. We made it work very well. We had our ups and downs as all couples do but we remained united,” I said and uncurled my hand, revealing the necklace Rex had given me.

“This was a gift to me from your father. He gave it to me the last time we saw each other face to face before the end of the war. It wasn’t easy for him to get but he told me I was worth it,” Cody’s mouth formed oh shape, finally knowing the meaning and value of the necklace he had seen many times.

“It’s the last piece of your father I have, besides you,” I finished and looked at the necklace in my hand, running my thumb over the sapphire gem just as I did all those years ago. Cody took my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“What happened to him?” Cody asked tentatively and I sighed, knowing that this time would come.

“I don’t know. I lost contact with him when the war ended. I severed our bond,” I said and Cody gasped. He knew what that meant, having been taught about force bonds by Ahsoka, Kanan and myself. He let go of my hand and instead gave me a hug, hiding his face in my neck to comfort me. I sighed as I hugged my son close, tears falling once again as I thought more about Rex.

“Is that why you get random chest pains whenever you think about dad?” Cody asked quietly and I nodded, feeling him hold me a little tighter.

“I broke our bond because I thought I was going to die. When order 66 was given, I thought I was dead. And I didn’t want Rex to feel that pain so I thought it would be easier to sever our connection. But I didn’t die. Uncle Chomp and Uncle Manik saved me and Uncle Spike. They made sure I was taken care of until you came and they stuck around to help me raise you. I always thought your father died. I always assumed he did because it made it easier to move on. It sounds cruel I know, but I needed to be strong for you ner ad,” I said and Cody pulled away from the hug to look at me.

“I’m sure he’s out there somewhere mom. We’ll find him. I promise,” Cody said with a fierce determination, making me smile with watery eyes. “Remember my vision from earlier?” Cody asked and I nodded.

“That’s how I know he’s alive and I’m sure he’s waiting for you to find him. He’s waiting to reunite with you. I can feel it,” Cody said passionately and I looked down at my lap, thinking about Cody’s words.

“You remind me so much of your father and I couldn’t be prouder of you, ner ad,” I said and Cody smiled, giving me another hug. When we pulled away, he took the necklace from my hand and crawled on my bed behind me, placing the necklace back in its rightful place. I smiled and wiped my tears as Cody came back around in front of me.

“We’ll find him mom. Don’t worry. If what you told me is true, he’s a fighter and he wouldn’t go down that easy,” Cody said and I nodded, a soft ‘okay’ leaving my lips. Cody gave me a kiss on the cheek before grabbing his lightsaber from one of the storage drawers, and taking my hand. He pulled me up and began leading us to the cockpit. I hadn’t realized how much time had passed since the briefing but it had been a little while because we were in hyperspace.

The door whooshed opened and all eyes turned to me and Cody, Kanan standing up and coming over to give me a hug.

“You feel better?” He asked and I nodded, placing my hand on Cody’s head and fluffing his hair.

“Mommmm,” Cody whined and I laughed, the others laughing as well.

“Where are we headed?” I asked and looked to Hera for an answer.

“The Seelos system. That’s where Ahsoka said to start,” Hera responded and I nodded, watching as hyperspace flew right by us.

~Time skip~

Chopper beeped out an ‘uhoh’ as the alarm started going off, one of the control panels sparking and catching fire.

“We get all the way to Seelos and now you tell me the hyperdrive wasn’t completely fixed?!” Hera growled at her droid.

Chopper beeped out sarcastically and Hera threw her arms up as I covered my mouth, trying not to laugh. Hera glared at me which made me laugh even louder.

“You finished the important repairs? How did you define “important”?!” Hera yelled as she turned back to Chopper. Kanan heard the commotion and came up from the common space on the ghost.

“What’s going on?” He asked, wondering why Hera was so mad the alarms were blaring. I laughed and got up, making my way over to Kanan.

“Chopper didn’t fix the hyperdrive properly,” I said and Kanan rolled his eyes, mumbling and ‘of course not’.

“Chopper and I are staying here,” Hera said and grunted as another fuse blew. “To clean up his mess,” She finished and Chopper chirped in protest that it wasn’t his fault.

“Take the phantom!” Hera said as she tried to get the situation under control. “Hopefully we’ll be ready to go by the time you get back,” she said sarcastically, pushing a few buttons on the control panel.

Kanan looked at her and rolled his eyes before looking at me, nodding as he slid down the ladder. I followed soon after, giving Hera a small wave as I went. I got down the ladder as everyone was making their way to the phantom, getting ready for our departure.

“You going to bring Cody?” Kanan asked and I nodded, turning towards mine and Cody’s cabin.

The door opened to reveal my son, lying on the upper cot, a smile on his sleeping face. I smiled as I climbed up the ladder and shook his shoulder gently, coxing him from his sleep.

“Cody? Time to get up sweetheart,” I said and Cody stirred, yawning as he looked at me.

“Hi mom,” he said and sat up, wrapping his arms around me. He buried his face in my neck, holding me a little tighter than usual.

“What’s wrong Cody?” I asked and stroked his hair. He sighed and pulled away before giving me a smile.

“I had another dream about dad. It was a good one.” He said and my eyes began to water.

“I’m sure it was honey. Your father was a great man. and I’m sure if he were here, he would’ve been an amazing father,” I said and Cody wiped my eyes for me.

“We’ll find him mom. He’s out there. I can feel it,” Cody said and I nodded at his optimism. I could sense it too. But I didn’t want to get my hopes up in case I was wrong for believing we were close to Rex.

“Let’s get going. We’re taking the phantom cause Chopper didn’t properly fix the hyperdrive.” I said and Cody rolled his eyes.

“Of course he didn’t,” he said and moved towards the ladder. I hopped down first before Cody followed, both of us making our way to the ladder of the Phantom and climbing up.

The phantom detached from the ghost smoothly, Kanan piloting her like a pro. I smiled as I sat with Cody across from Zeb, the Lasot making faces as Cody laughed like a young child. Zeb was like an older brother to Cody and they always had fun together, getting into trouble and teasing Ezra. It was always amusing to watch, seeing as they all grew to be like family.

Sabine held the tactical droid head in her hands and made her way over to Kanan as we flew through the atmosphere towards the surface of Seelos. I watched from where I sat, the blue sky and cracked ground making the planet seem beautiful in a deserted type of way.

Cody looked at me and I nodded before he got up and made his way over to Ezra and Kanan, Sabine plugging in the head to the computer of the phantom. It whirled for a moment as Sabine said to no one in particular, “Well, let’s fire this thing up,” She placed it on the control panel and the head began to warble. Cody was fascinated with the droid, not really having seen one as important or deadly as this one.

“I think it’s scanning for a signal of some kind,” Sabine said as she held onto the pilot’s seats, Kanan’s brows scrunching together.

“Good luck. You could really get lost out here,” Ezra said, glaring out the cockpit window towards the drab looking grounds bellow.

“Maybe that was the idea,” Zeb started, kind of throwing his arms up in the air. “What if this great commander were looking for doesn’t want to be found?” He speculated and to me, that made a lot of sense. Ezra must have thought the same thing because his face shifted from confused to cautious to understanding to curiosity as he looked out the window again.

I could sense a very familiar presence, almost like it was dancing with me. I looked down and closed my eyes, trying not to reach out but desperately wanting to.

I had closed parts of myself off from the force for years because of the grief of loosing everything I knew. It was only recently, when Cody turned 10, that I opened myself up, making my sense of the force still very wonky.

Zeb placed one of his hands on my knee, knowing that when I did this, I could feel something. Cody came over to me to and wrapped his arms around me, also feeling that something was off with me.

“What’s wrong mom?” He said and I didn’t respond, not wanting to throw myself into another panic attack. I just kept my eyes closed, taking deep breathes, tuning out everything I could, even when the tactical droid began beeping and chiming a number I had heard many times before.

“7567…7567…7,”

“It’s homing in on something,” Sabine said and she and Ezra leaned in a little more, Kanan’s brows still furrowed. Cody gave me one more gentle squeeze and went back over to Ezra, also wanting to see what was being found.

“7567,”

“7567…7567…7567,”

Zeb got up from where he sat, making his way over to the pilot’s seat and looking out the window. I stayed putting, trying my best to meditate and work through my thoughts and feelings. I could sense them. There were three life forms on the surface. Two very familiar and one I had only met a handful of times. I didn’t let myself hope though even when all the evidence was there

“There! Up ahead!” Zeb said eagerly, pushing Ezra, Sabine and Kanan a little too forcefully to get his point across. There was an old republic AT-TE walker, moving slowly across the ground. I stayed unmoving, not wanting to open my eyes.

“Whoa….” Ezra and Cody said together, both admiring the monster of a vehicle the tank was. Sabine gasped at the colourful makeshift patio that rested on top, admiring the craftsmanship of it.

“Now, that is a work of art,” she said and that made me smile a little, still in my own world.

“Looks like an old republic tank,” Kanan said cautiously, not wanting to believe who could be riding in that tank, “used during the Clone wars,” Kanan snarled as he finished his whispered words. My eyes squeezed shut even more, not wanting Kanan’s negativity to influence my thoughts.

“7567...”

The tank came to a hault as the Phantom landed towards the rear, everyone moving to exit the ship. Cody came over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

“We’re here mom,” he said quietly and I nodded, acknowledging that we had landed.

“You coming (Y/N)?” Kanan asked and I shook my head, my mind still piecing everything together. Zeb opened the hatch and led Sabine and Ezra out.

“Let’s go Cody, leave your mom to meditate. She’s going through a lot. And be on guard,” Kanan said as he ushered Cody out. He looked back at me but I kept me head down, the things I was feeling becoming overwhelming.

The hatch remained opened behind Cody and Kanan as Kanan also warned Ezra to be on guard. I could feel the force pulling me towards my past, wanting me to reflect, wanting me to open back up fully. I was afraid because I knew now what awaited me outside the door. I could feel his life force, just as strong as the day we met, still slightly fractured from the day I severed our bond.

I slowly opened my eyes as I felt a weight being lifted, the force surging through me like an old friend not forgotten. I smiled as I felt it but that smile was quickly wiped away as I heard blaster fire. I unclipped my saber from its place on my hip and opened the hatch of the phantom, ready to defend my friends on both sides.

~Outside~

The group walked up toward the tank, the makeshift windchimes ringing as the group waited. Cody made his way to the front of the group with Ezra, even against Kanan’s silent protests. The back door to the AT-TE opened to reveal three older looking men, all looking the same but also different.

Cody felt a serge in the force, one so strong it took his breath away. He held a hand to his chest as he started at the man in the front of the group. This man was familiar and Cody knew it had to be someone special. He knew this man. Zeb broke him out of his internal battle with the force by scoffing and rolling his eyes.

“It’s just a bunch of old geezers,” he said and crossed his arms.

“Well armed old geezers,” Sabine added, admiring the weaponry the men were sporting.

“What do you want?” The first man called to the group and Cody took hold of Zeb’s arm, trying to balance himself as another serge from the force took his breath again and made his heart race.

“We’re looking for someone,” Kanan said sceptically, calling back to the men.

“Well, that’s too bad, ‘cause there’s nobody out here,” The man said, leaning against the railing of the tank. Ezra stepped up, Cody moving to stand with him but still staying back. He needed to know if he was right.

“Hey, uh, does the number 7567 mean anything to you?” Ezra asked carefully, holding his hand up a little, holding Cody back from being up front.

“What did you just say?” The first man snarled, the ones flanking him raising their weapons defensively.

“Uh, I said 7567,” Ezra repeated cautiously, Cody moving from behind his hand to step up in front of the group.

“I haven’t heard those digits in…well that’s my birth number!” The man said and Cody finally took a stand as Ezra thought to himself what ‘birth number’ could mean.

“Buir?” Cody said and stared at the man in front, all three visibly tensing at the use of Mando’a and the term used. Before anything else could be said, Kanan snarled.

“They’re clones!” He said and pushed Ezra and Cody back, Cody falling with the force of it as Kanan ignited his lightsaber to defend the group.

The three men were snapped out of their shock of a child speaking Mando’a, instead turning fully defensive at the Jedi.

“Kanan, wait. Stop!” Cody yelled but Kanan didn’t listen.

“Jedi! They’ve come for revenge,” The clone with the scar over his left eye yelped and immediately began firing at Kanan.

“Drop the blaster old man,” Zeb yelled back as he and Sabine took out their weapons.

“Don’t try it boyo! I’ll gun you down,” The man in the blue shirt said in response, taking aim at the group.

“Stand down troopers. Now! That’s an order Soldier,” The front man said, pushing the others blasters towards the ground.

“Sha’kaji al’verde!” A voice boomed and everyone turned to see (Y/N), holding her (L/C) lightsaber in her hand. Cody stood up quickly and ran to his mother, wrapping his arms around her. She placed her free hand around her son but her eyes never left those of the captain.

All three men were just as shocked, their weapons dropping immediately. The rest of the Ghost crew looked at me, their weapons still slightly raised and Kanan’s saber still ignited.

“Stow your weapons,” I said to Zeb and Sabine, moving up towards the tank slowly.

“But...” Zeb began but I gave him a sharp look. Zeb backed off, knowing that when I had that look, I wasn’t playing. Sabine did the same, not wanting to be on the receiving end.

“Stow. Your. Weapons. That’s an order,” I said sternly and once they did, I turned my eyes on Kanan.

“Lower your weapon Kanan. Now,” I said in the same tone. Kanan didn’t and he turned to glare at me but my glare was just as hard, if not harder.

“You forget your place Kanan. Lower your saber now or I will have no choice but to take it,” I said, my voice dripping with venom. Zeb, Ezra and Sabine all stared in shock at my tone, knowing that I meant business.

Kanan stopped for another moment before he finally retracted his saber, placing it on his belt and backing away to give me some space. I did the same, retracting my saber and placing it back on my hip, my arm never leaving Cody as we made our way to the tank. I looked up and stared at the three fine men, Commander Wolffe, Commander Gregor and my love, Captain Rex.

All three stood there, shocked and unmoving, Rex’s eyes never leaving mine. My eyes were beginning to water and I could tell by Cody’s hold on me that he knew who this man was. I watched as Rex’s eyes flicked down from mine, noticing the necklace that I wore. The same necklace her gave to me that night in my apartment so many years ago. He then met my eyes again, still at a loss for words.

“Udes verde,” I said quietly. All three of them stood at attention before standing at ease, Rex’s mouth opening and closing like a fish. I smiled as I watched his lost for word expression, tears beginning to stream down my cheeks. Cody looked up at me and then to Rex, putting the pieces of the puzzle in the right place.

“Mom?” He asked and I saw Rex’s eyes widen even further, Wolffe and Gregor looking to the captain and then back at us.

“Su cuy’gar ner alor’ad,” I said and Rex finally took a breath, tears leaving his eyes as well.

“Ner cyar’ika,” He whispered and I nodded, giving Cody a kiss on the forehead before I let go of him, taking a step and jumping up to the platform of the tank, landing right in front of Rex as he backed up to give me room. It didn’t take a second before he was on me, holding me close and kissing me like there was not tomorrow.

I reciprocated just as quickly, holding his face in my hands and caressing his beard, smiling into the kiss. Rex smiled with me as we pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine.

“I thought I lost you, ner cyare,” Rex said tearfully and I nodded, my eyes watering just as much.

“I’ll explain it all Rex I promise,” I said and kissed him again, pulling him impossibly closer. It was as if the rest of the world didn’t exist besides the two of us at the moment, rebuilding the bond that was broken and making up for lost time. We pulled away panting, both of us laughing and crying at finally being reunited.

I turned and looked down at the rest of the crew, Sabine, Zeb and Ezra were smiling softly, giving me thumbs up and claps. Kanan stood to the back of the group, looking at Rex and then me apprehensively, but not saying anything. Cody had a huge smile on his face, finally getting to see his father.

“Come up here ner ad,” And Cody nodded, doing as I did and jumping on to the platform. Wolffe and Gregor made room as Cody hopped up, the rest of the ghost crew loading into the Phantom and lifting off, landing the ship gently on top of the AT-TE.

“Rex, my love,” I started holding Rex’s hand as Cody came up to us. Rex looked at me and then back at Cody, staring at him with wide eyes.

“He’s ours?” Rex whispered and I nodded, my eyes watering again as Rex broke out into sobs, pulling Cody in for a big hug. Cody smiled as he reciprocated the hug, holding on to his long-lost father. They stayed like that for a little longer which gave me a chance to turn around and pull Wolffe into a hug, the commander dropping his second gun and immediately returning it. Gregor came over to us and did the same, giving me a hug as Cody and Rex pulled away.

“It’s so good to see you all alive,” I said tearfully and Woffle wiped his own tears, Gregor giving a huge smile.

“You too general,” Woffle said and Gregor laughed in agreement.

“What’s your name Son?” Rex said as he knelt down so that he was a little more level with Cody. I walked over a placed a hand on Cody’s shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze and he smiled at me. He turned back to look at Rex and with a childlike smile her told him.

“My name is Cody (L/N),” He said proudly and Rex’s eyes went wide again as the Ghost crew dismounted from the phantom, coming to a stop around our group. Rex turned and looked at me as I smiled with teary eyes before he turned back to Cody.

“Do you know who you got your name from son?” He asked quietly and Cody nodded again.

“Commander Cody of the 212th clone battalion. A great soldier, a born leader and a great friend of my dad,” Cody said, echoing something I had told him many years ago. Rex nodded and pulled Cody into another hug, lifting him up and pulling me into a hug as well. We were a family reunited after so many years apart and I couldn’t be happier.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner cyar’ika,” Rex said and I smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum ner alor’ad,” I replied and Cody smiled before he patted Rex’s shoulder to let him down. Rex did so immediately, instead latching on to me and holding me tightly as if I would disappear at any moment.

“Dad?” Cody asked and Rex responded with ‘yes Cody?’

“I want you to meet my friends,” he said and walked over to the ghost crew who at this point had been watching our reunion with smiles. Kanan still had a sour look on his face but I don’t think he could deny that I was happy. As Cody introduced Rex, Wolffe, and Gregor to the crew I couldn’t help but smile. Rex had only found out he was a father ten minutes ago and he had already taken to the role like it was natural for him.

I smiled at my family, finally reunited after so long apart. I’d have to have a word with Ahsoka about this but for now, I wanted to enjoy the moment.

—————

Thank you so much for reading! Please drop a like if you enjoyed this story and let me know if there’s anything else you’d like for me to write about!

I will try to update every week around noon on Wednesdays or Thursdays! But please be patient with me, I’m going through some health stuff as well as working so I will write and update when I can!

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hello-nichya-here · 4 months

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Hello, whats your opinion on this as a mai fan

I think this person is either misremembering the show or deliberately mischaracterizing what Mai, because what they're claiming she revealed on The Beach is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of what she actually said.

She doesn't say "My parents used me as a pawn in their game to get close to royals" or "My parents never wanted me to learn anything about combat." She tells us that her parents will let her do whatever she likes - as long as she BEHAVES. As long as she's invisible. Out of sight, out of mind. They don't care what she does, as long as it doesn't affect them, as long as she's quiet. And that's what she says in an attempt to DOWNPLAY how bad her relationship with them actually is and how it affected her emotionally.

When Mai is complaining that she doesn't like Omashu because there's nothing for her to do, her mom doesn't try to talk to her about activities that could keep her busy/entertained, or show any concern about how she's adapting to moving to a whole new country, to a city where she doesn't know anyone. Instead, she ignores her daughter's attempts to talk about her feelings by reminding her that this is important for her father. There's no attempt to make this situation benefitial for her as well, it's all about how she needs to be grateful that someone else is happy about it.

Yes, when Tom-Tom is "kidnaped", they won't stop panicking, and are overjoyed when he's brought back safely. But there's not a word on them being concerned over Mai's well-being when she's leaving in a potentially dangerous mission. They don't show up to congratulate her at any point after she helps the Fire Nation conquer Ba Sing Se, even though that is a legendary feat. Favoritism much?

In book 3, literally the only adults we see in her home are servants, and considering one needs an airship to go to the island where the boiling rock is, it's pretty safe to say her uncle can't be dropping by too often. They let their 15-year-old daughter live in a different country, without any adult acting as her guardian - that's how much they don't care about her.

And speaking of her uncle, yes, he is doing a good job of being an attentive family member (is aware of her situation with Zuko, immediately lets her out of prison the second he knows he can get away with it) - but using that to claim "Thefore her family life is fine" is absurd because, again, that's her UNCLE, not her parents. By that logic, Zuko shouldn't be complaining about his family either, after all he has Iroh and somehow that is supposed to cancel out being raised by freaking Ozai, riiiiiiight?

And speaking of Zuko, there's a reason why, in a finale where everyone is being reunited with their family and friends, even when the travel time doesn't make any goddamn sense, Mai's happy ending involves a heartwarming reuining with him, and he's delighted to see her - but there's still nothing about her parents. Their daughter was sent to prison for life, then her boyfriend became Fire Lord giving them THE perfect chance to come rescue her, and they STILL are nowhere to be found.

For fuck's sake, AZULA showed more love for Mai than her parents did. Girl was clearly happy to see her again, and even gave her a "hug" that wasn't that touchy because Mai doesn't like it. In "The Lost Adventures" we find out that she was also the one who pushed for her and Zuko to get together (though that also ties into her knowing that was the only way to make Zuko come home despite his guilt over what he did to Iroh). Even on The Beach, she's the one who first connects the dots and realizes that Mai is always so aloof because she's used to being told to shut up when she says something inconvenient.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying her parents had no political ambitions (the Yang comics leaning into that was one of the few good things about his writting). Obviously they were happy that their daughter was best friends with the princess and dating the heir to the throne, and I'm sure Mai didn't appreciate being treated more as asset than as a daughter.

But her complaint was not about that. It was about how her parents are simply not part of her life at all. She's an outsider looking in. She can stand next to them and do as she's told, or she can leave. What she can't do is actually engage with them, mean anything to them, expect anything from them, rely on them at all.

Mai's parents are neglectful to a degree that, in the real world, could potentially have them lose custody of her because she consistently has to turn to literally anyone else instead of them whenever she needs anything.

Is it really any wonder she had a soft-spot for Zuko, aka the boy that is always disregarded by his father, to the point of literally being kicked out of his home, and is actually openly pissed off about it and will let everyone know it?

#asks #mai #mai meta #pro mai #mai defense squad

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biconickyoshi · 7 months

Text

Okay y’all… I was very critical of eps 3 & 4 (especially 4) of NAtLA. Then all of a sudden eps 5 & 6 kinda slapped me in the face with how much better the show suddenly got.

Spoiler-free thoughts first:

Zuko, Iroh, and Aang have cemented themselves as the best parts about this adaptation - which is really funny considering I’m currently writing a longfic AU where Zuko and Iroh discover Aang in the iceberg right after Zuko is banished at age 13 and end up becoming the first members of the Gaang (albeit reluctantly at first lol). Episode 6: “Masks” (the Blue Spirit adaptation) was so good, I’d venture to say that it actually improved and fleshed out some things from the original series.

Episode 5: “Spirited Away”, while not as good as E6, was not as bad as I heard people say it was going to be. I think that the changes they did make didn’t bother me nearly as much as the changes they made in the last episode, and it was actually entertaining.

There were several scenes that made me cry in both of these episodes (moreso in episode 6, which I’ll get into further down in the spoiler section). These are the scenes that I feel like really tapped into the heart of the original show rather than feeling like a soulless remake.

Now for my in-depth thoughts (INCLUDES SPOILERS):

EP 5: “Spirited Away”

- Staring out, I was bummed because I had just rewatched the first two eps of the original animated series lol.

- It was an interesting choice to have all three members of the Gaang get stuck in the Spirit World, but I think it worked.

- Wan Shi Tong just showing up randomly was a bit unnecessary, but I suppose it will be kinda interesting to see him again in S2 since he’s already met the Gaang

- Hei Bai plays a much smaller role in these eps, but I strangely didn’t mind that either?

- Seeing Katara’s last memory with her mom was devastating, especially the fact that she had to witness her death and hide in the igloo with Kya’s charred body :(( she definitely has severe PTSD.

- Even Sokka’s memory made me tear up a bit

- Koh being the villain and a soul-eater or whatever was a bit of an odd choice, but I guess I can see why they did it. I do prefer him just being an asshole who steals ppl’s faces lol

- Appreciated the Fog of Lost Souls reference from the LoK lore

- Aang reuniting with Gyatso made me cry. I know some people didn’t like him being in the Spirit World, but I really liked it. Also, the fact that Gyatso was the first person to tell Aang that it wasn’t his fault the Air Nomads died, and that if he had been there he would have died too? THANK YOU! My poor boy has been berated enough for “abandoning” the world.

- We got some interesting lore about the afterlife for humans from Gyatso and Aang’s convo, which we’ve never gotten in AtLA media before. Idk if it’s just for Air Nomads, but Aang mentions that Gyatso stayed behind instead of “seeking enlightenment”. I know that the end goal in Buddhism is to reincarnate until you eventually achieve nirvana, so I wonder if that’s what they were alluding to (I’m not an expert on religions so pls correct me if I’m wrong)

- Oh yeah, I forgot June is here lmao. As a queer person I loved her (bc beautiful goth woman) but I didn’t like the weird choice to make her hit on Iroh - I guess to contrast the Iroh being creepy towards her thing in the OG series. I wish they would have just had them interact normally tbh, no weird “flirting”

EP 6: “Masks”

- Here we go y’all. The best episode in the show so far and probably the best the show is gonna get this season. I’m still pretty shocked at how good this one was.

- I think the decision to include flashbacks to Zuko’s Agni Kai was a good decision here. It felt like an appropriate episode for them and the flashbacks were very well done.

- In general, Dallas is doing a phenomenal job at portraying a Zuko who is angry and aggressive, yes, but also so very sweet and compassionate at his core. I love when little inklings of his true self shine through.

- Roku was… not what I expected. He was very much more of a lighthearted and jokey person… I didn’t hate it, it was just unexpected lol. I wonder if they did that to contrast him with Kyoshi. Which, speaking of, I’m glad Roku clarified that Aang doesn’t just need to be a merciless warrior (and that he didn’t berate Aang for “abandoning” the world like she did). But I still am annoyed about the mischaracterization of Kyoshi in general.

- RIP Shyu :/

- Thought it was kind of strange how June captures Aang at Roku’s temple lol. Like how did she get on and off the island??

- Zhao continues to feel like a completely different character to me lmao. I think this version is pretty funny, but it’s so weird to see Zhao being portrayed as so goofy and incompetent when he was such an intimidating force and the main villain of Book 1 in the OG series. Just a weird direction they went with his character.

- The Yuyan archers look cool as fuck. 10/10 no notes

- Still not sure how I feel about Azula already being this insecure and jealous of Zuko. I think it makes her feel a bit more realistically like a child, but the whole point of Azula’s character is that she is really good at maintaining this cool and calm persona on the surface, which she uses to scare and manipulate people. I can see her maybe getting to a point later on to where she hardens herself into that though. We’ll see.

- Baby Zuko asking Iroh how he looks and his little smile 😭😭😭😭 I had a physical “aww” reaction to that. THAT’S MY SON (me and Iroh shouting in unison)

- War Room scene was handled very well. No complaints. I like how Ozai tried to test Zuko with battle strategies.

- Blue Spirit break out scene was extremely close to the original, and it was really good. They adapted it almost shot for shot with all the important parts.

- Here’s probably my favorite part of the episode: Zuko and Aang’s talk inside the abandoned house after they escape from Pohuai!!!!!! Gahhhh I could gush about this scene all day. I love how they expanded it to be an actual friendly conversation between Aang and Zuko. Like we get to see Zuko’s true self coming through - the sweet, kind boy we know he is. Zuko and Aang just have such great chemistry as well, wayyy more than Aang has with either Sokka or Katara. Like I adored them bonding over painting and caligraphy!!! I think this is the best acting we’ve seen from Gordon so far, and Dallas did a phenomenal job switching back to that hurt, angry version of himself (of course a trauma response). And the fact that Aang said “sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you” when he blocked Zuko’s firebending attack??? My sweet boy 😭

- The final flashback to the Agni Kai was really well done too. I’d already heard Zuko fights back, which I wasn’t sure I’d like, but I actually didn’t mind it. I really liked that they showed Zuko’s hesitation whenever he did actually have an opening, and that was what angered Ozai the most - Zuko showing compassion, “weakness”. Daniel Dae Kim is of course doing a phenomenal job (no surprises there), and I really liked that Iroh actually attempted to stop Ozai at one point. It also looked like young Azula had tears in her eyes, which I again actually liked because it humanizes her.

- I loved that Aang was still there when Zuko woke up on the boat 😭 he wanted to make sure he was okay!! I full on started crying when we got the “do you think we could have been friends too?” lines from him. Again, Gordon killed it. I love how you can tell that Aang knows Zuko has been hurt and that’s why he acts the way he does. He doesn’t blame him for any of it. 10/10

- the last flashback to Zuko in his bed recovering from the burn… god the tears just kept flowing. I really liked the choice to have Ozai almost give Zuko a chance to like… idk understand why he did what he did, and how compassion is “weak”?? And then Zuko’s response to give people a chance 😭😭😭 as if I couldn’t love him any more!!! And then of course Ozai gets pissed. But seeing baby Zuko just cry in his bed UGH I’m dehydrated at this point

- Of course I can’t finish this review without mentioning the 41st division. What an incredible way to expand upon the source material by making them Zuko’s crew!!! It shows just how much Zuko truly cares about others and it moved me so much (once again to tears).

I don’t have high hopes for the last two episodes, but honestly, if this is what the live action can be, it gives me a bit of hope (at least for future seasons). I really think that Dallas, Gordon, Paul, and Daniel were the stars of this ep and are a big part of what made it so good.

#atla #natla #netflix atla spoilers #natla spoilers #atla live action #avatar the last airbender netflix #avatar the last airbender #atla netflix #atla meta #natla meta #zuko #aang #iroh #ozai #zukaang

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ryuzakistoe · 7 days

Note

The Rin x Reader story is great! Can you please make a part 3 for with angst with bad ending? After Rin came back from the Blue Lock, he learned that the reader passed away and also learned that she passed away the day the last time he saw her.

YESS I DEFINITELY CANN I HOPE U ENJOY THIS‼️😌

Reunited once more PART 3 ANGST VER. (Rin Itoshi x Fem!reader)

Lots of angst, language, depression, self-blame, fem!reader, breaking down Rin Itoshi😢

a/n: I'm definitely doing my boy isagi next😅😏

“Rin…”

Its no use…how could you tell him now?

“Please…wait..”

You haven't even told him about your condition.

“Come back..”

With each passing second, his figure grew smaller and smaller.

Its too late now.

He's gone.

…

You fell onto your knees as you began to cough out blood.

Shit…please…not now…

Your eyes welled up with tears once more as you clenched the fabric of your shirt over your heart.

You didn't get to tell him about your heart condition.

The pain in your chest was almost unbearable as you began to cry harder.

Your vision began to fade to black as you prayed for Rin to come back.

“Rin…”

Those were the last words you mumbled before you finally collapsed onto the hard, cold floor.

~~~🥀~~~

*BEEP*

You let out a groan as you slowly opened your eyes.

You let out a soft wince as your eyes were blinded by light.

As you adjusted to the brightness, you began to take in your surroundings.

‘Where am I..?’

You moved your head towards the side as you saw a familiar figure sitting besides your bed.

“Mom..?” you weakly mumbled.

Hearing her name, your mother perked her head up.

Her eyes were swollen, as if she was already crying.

“Y/n! Goodness you're awake. Baby… what happened? I found you on the floor outside…what were you doing? You know how dangerous that is with your condition.” your mother lectured as she began to hug you.

“I know mom, I know.” you mumbled as you laid stiff on the bed, not having the current energy to hug her back.

“Baby…tell me, what were you doing outside?” your mother asked once more.

Your eyes welled up with tears as you recalled the events from earlier.

“I don't remember.” you lied as you shifted your gaze from your mom to your hands.

A slight frown made way to her face.

“Sweetie…just know that you can trust me okay..?” your mother softly spoke as she began stroking your hair before getting up from the chair.

“I know mom.” you forcefully smiled as you blinked the tears away.

Your mother smiled back before walking away towards the door.

She gave you one last worried look before shutting the door and leaving the room.

As soon as she left, the tears that you had been holding back resurfaced.

You let out a choked sob as your tears began to gush out.

Your eyes began to get all puffy and your nose all red.

“Im so sorry Rin..” you whispered as you continued to cry.

~~~🥀~~~

A few hours have passed, and with each passing hour, you felt increasingly drained.

Every slight movement caused excruciating agony to surge through your body.

It felt as if your body was on fire.

You lay there, motionless, as the nurses came in to check on you.

As the nurses checked your IV and your stability, the doctor soon entered with a displeased expression.

He let out a sigh before speaking.

“Miss Y/n, its safe to assume that your condition is not getting any better. I'm sorry but…your not going to make it.”

Huh? What?

Your breathing came to a halt as you processed his words.

‘Not going to make it’

‘Condition not getting better’

‘Im sorry..’

Those words kept swirling in your mind.

Was that it? You were going to…die?

“If you have any last requests you’d like to make, would you like to do them now?” the doctor spoke, making sure to keep the most respectful tone.

“Does…my mom know?” you softly uttered as your tears began to arise once more.

“We have alerted your mom already, she was here earlier when you fell asleep.” the doctor answered.

“I see,” you said as you tried to hold back your tears and frustration. You were not ready to bear the pain once more through crying.

“Would you like to be alone Miss Y/n? To recollect and process your thoughts?” The doctor suggested.

“Yes please.” you weakly muttered as you began to space out.

With a nod, the doctor and nurses respectfully left as they quietly shut the door.

As you lay there, a few tears couldn't help but escape from your eyes, despite your efforts to hold them back.

You refrained from sobbing or thrashing around, knowing it would cause unbearable pain in your body.

All you could think of right now was Rin.

There were so many things that you didn't get to tell him.

For example, your condition.

You didn't even get to tell him that you loved him—romantically.

But there were other things you didn't get to tell him.

However you were expecting this to happen, so you wrote down everything you wanted to tell him on your phone.

You left your phone without a passcode so that Rin could easily access it.

Finally, he will be able to understand how you felt.

About him.

About you.

About everyone else.

About things you like.

About things you dislike.

About everything.

~~~🥀~~~

“CODE BLUE CODE BLUE—”

Hospital staff and nurses rushed into the room you were stationed at.

“Ma’am please step aside. Everyone is doing the best they can.” One of the nurses spoke as they tried to calm down your mother.

Your mother's anguished cries echoed through the hallway, after all, her beloved child was dying.

A group of hospital staff hurriedly brought you into the emergency room as they tried to keep you alive.

The heart monitor appeared to be showing an irregular and alarming increase in speed.

The nurses and doctors did everything in their willpower to wake you up.

You were unconscious and your life was slipping away.

Other nurses tried holding your mom back from entering the room.

Screams and crys were heard from her as they kept her out the room.

Of course, they felt bad and pitiful but what could they do? They had to let the professionals do their job.

They had to help you live.

…

A few weeks had passed and Rin was finally taking a break from blue lock.

He decided to go back to his hometown for the meanwhile.

He went to visit his mom and maybe even you.

Although would you want to see him? He's been questioning that.

Soon enough, he’ll get his answer.

Hopefully.

Rin finally arrived at his destination as he knocked on the door.

A few seconds later, his mother opened the door.

Usually, she would be ecstatic to see him. But right now, she seemed…mournful.

“Rin, your home.” she sadly smiled as she opened the door for him, allowing him inside.

“Yeah, I am. Is something wrong?” he asked as he observed his mother's actions.

His mother paused at his words, her eyes welling up as she responded.

“Rin…i think you need to sit down for this..” his mother wobbily spoke as she led him to the couch.

“Mom what happened?” he asked once more as he felt his body coursing with anxiety.

Rin wasn't sure what to expect as his mother let out a heavy sigh, revealing that the words she was about to speak were going to be difficult for the both of them.

“Rin…Y/n…she..”

"She what?" he asked as his mother paused mid-sentence.

He felt his anxiety worsened at the mention of Y/n.

Had something happened to her while he was gone?

He didn't want to think that but the way his mother is acting…it must've been bad.

"Rin, she passed away," his mother softly whispered as she hung her head low.

Rin's mind seemed to have stopped as he stared at his mother.

‘Passed…away..?’

How?

You seemed fine when he left. Well…not totally fine mentally. But physically you were fine.

Right?

“Mom, this isn't something to joke over, you know-”

“Rin.”

Hearing his name he paused.

He observed at how his mom lifted her head up.

Her eyes were all red and puffy.

Her breathing was uneven.

Her lip quivered ever so slightly.

He scanned her face, trying to detect if there were any lies or fake acts.

Unfortunately…he found none.

He felt his heart drop.

‘No…but…how..?’

He sat there, motionless.

He didn't want to believe it, no way.

His eyes began to sting.

Was he…crying?

He lifted his hand to touch his face.

Just as expected, he felt tears.

Before long, he felt more tears welling up. He couldn't hold them back.

Tears poured uncontrollably from his eyes, he tried to restrain them, but his tears flowed as they showed no signs of stopping.

It was too much to handle.

He didn't even get to say goodbye to you.

But most importantly…how did you…

“Mom…” he whispered as his voice cracked a little.

“Yes Rin..?” his mom sniffled as she used a tissue to wipe her stained face.

“How did she…” he trailed off, not wanting to finish the words.

“Heart failure...” his mother answered.

He let out a quiet sob.

Why? Why didn't you tell him?

He couldn't help but blame himself. He would've never done what he did if he knew you were going to pass away.

No…he would've spent all his time with you.

“Before I forget Rin…Y/n…she wanted you to have this. It was her final request.” his mom softly spoke, breaking Rin out of his thoughts to hand him your phone.

He quietly grabbed your phone as fresh tears were stuck on his face.

“I think you should read it in a more private space.” his mom whispered as she felt concerned for Rin.

After all, she did always see them together almost every day.

With a nod, Rin forced himself up and began walking to his room.

He opened his door and plopped down on the bed, staring at your phone.

After a while of mentally preparing himself, he finally unlocked your phone to find out you had no passcode.

You probably really did want him to have your phone.

As he looked through your phone, he finally opened the app, ‘notes.’

The first note to ever pop up was titled, “For Rin.”

Rin hesitantly clicked on it as he slowly read your notes.

‘Hey Rin, if your reading this then I guess its already happened. I'm sorry I didn't get to tell you earlier, I just didn't want to burden you any further and ‘force’ you to stay. You probably wouldn't even believe me and think that I would be making it all up just to get you to stay for my selfish reasons.’

“You were never a burden to me…” Rin softly whispered as he felt his eyes stinging once more.

He felt his warm tears drip down his face and land on your phone.

Nevertheless, he kept reading.

‘Beaides all that, I just wanted to tell you that this ‘heart condition’ has been going on for a while since I was young. I never thought to bring it up back then because I didn't want my silly condition to get in the way of our fun.

Now I realize that it was stupid of me to not bring it up as it only worsened from that point on.

All those times when I said I couldn't play because I was ‘sick’ and had a ‘fever’ were all partially true but it wasn't the whole truth.

The day that you left, I wanted to tell you right then and there everything, but couldn't.

When you were gone from my vision, I suddenly collapsed and woke up in the hospital.

The doctor told me I didn't have long left to live.

When he told me those words, I felt like breaking down.

Surprisingly, I didn't but still felt very miserable by the news.

But to be honest, all I could think about was you, Rin.

Even though I'm gone, I still want you to pursue your dreams and live on without me, although you probably already are.

“Dont be silly Y/n…i can't without you here..” Rin softly murmured, his vision getting blurry from all the tears. Yet, he still continued to read.

‘Oh, and before this note ends I want to tell you one last thing.

Rin, I love you. I always have as a matter of fact.

And no, its not in a friendship way but more of a romantic way.

You see Rin, ever since we were little I always had a little crush on you. But I mean who wouldn't?! You were so cute back then! And now your even more cuter! Handsome too!

Soon, that ‘little crush’ developed into love.

I never told you because I never wanted to ruin the friendship we had although its already kinda ruined already.

And even if you ever did feel the same way, (which I kinda doubt but who knows?!) I'm sorry that you had to find out this way.

Maybe in another life we could be happy together without my stupid condition. Romantically or not.

And in that next life, if it is romantically, I hope we could strive together and have a future with the two of us in it, with me actually confessing to you in person.

But if its in a friendship way, I hope we can still stick together like back then.

But right now, in this lifetime, it seems as if it can't be either of those two.

Promise me one thing though Rin, please take care of yourself.

I love you.’

-Y/n

He felt like he couldn't breathe.

His hand started shaking violently as he dropped the phone onto the bed.

His sobs became louder and louder as seconds passed by.

“Y/n…” he choked out as he began to tug on his hair.

The pain in his heart was insufferable.

He's never broken down like this ever since the Sae incident.

But this…this was definitely worse than the day Sae neglected him.

It was about you, and you were gone. Long gone.

He couldn't help but let out a frustrated scream as he threw his clutter across the room.

His crying escalated into a full breakdown as all he could think about in the moment was how much he regretted his actions.

He's never hated himself as much as right now.

Would all of this have been different if he never pushed you away?

Well, no, of course not. It's not like he can change your heart condition, but he could have at least provided you with support.

He could have at least let you rest peacefully, with you knowing that he still cared for you.

But you probably thought that he hated you.

And he hated the idea of that.

The idea of you passing with the belief of him hating you made him feel such overwhelming and intolerable guilt.

With fists clenched together so tightly, his nails pierced through his palm as his knuckles turned pure white.

He let out a frustrated cry as he punched his wall.

This was his breaking point.

He slumped against the wall, pulling his legs to his chest and burying his face in his arms, overcome with violent sobs.

“I love you too Y/n…” he whispered.

~~~🥀~~~

Days have passed and Rin hasn't been able to get much sleep.

It was noticeable too.

Rin had heavy eyebags as he wasn't speaking as much.

Every day, he would always lock himself in his room.

He would lie down on his bed, feeling numb as he blamed himself for all that's happened.

Some nights, he would curl up into a ball on his bed and cry all night.

He would cry himself to sleep.

Your missing presence really affected him.

…

Today, he had planned to visit the graveyard, as he did almost every day when he had the time.

Arriving at your tombstone, he fell to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes once again.

“Y/n…I really can't do this without you.” he mumbled as replaced the old flowers with new ones.

Every day, Rin would always be the one to look after your tombstone.

On rainy days, he would place a small umbrella over your gravestone to prevent mold from growing on it.

And every time the flowers were wilting away, he would always be the one to replace them with your favorite flowers.

“Y/n…I don't know what to do without you. I need you here with me…”

Rin bit his lower lip as he tried to compress a sob.

“I miss you…I miss you so much it hurts.” Rin muttered as he wiped his tears away with his sleeve.

Although it was pointless, his tears just kept flowing.

“Fuck this…I can't do this anymore.” Rin grumbled as he gripped the hem of his shirt tightly.

“Y/n…Y/n come back to me…please!” Rin sobbed as he slammed his fists onto the ground.

“Tell me this is all just one big joke Y/n! Tell me your not really gone!”

Of course, he knew all too well that this wasn't a joke.

It was real life.

You were really gone.

Rin hunched over as he began to cry into his palms.

“I love you Y/n…I wish I could've told you too…”

a/n: omg I'm so tired but anyways I hope you liked this

OH and I also got the ‘notes’ thing reference from that one K-drama “Drawing Closer” bro…that made me cry so bad😭

Zoo wee mama🤤

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writer-ishh · 5 months

Text

My Dungeon Meshi Modern AU Thoughts Instead of Writing My Economics Research Paper lmao

Ughhhh,,,, okay have been thinking about them all day and if one person manages to make it through the void and hear me out and talk about them with me then I’ll be happy lol.

WARNING: this is stupidly long, like I spent an absurd time writing every single little detail down. With that being said here we go:

cw//mentions and minor graphic descriptions of death, bullying, discrimination, injury, abuse, trauma, mental health issues, and abandonment

• Laios

- currently 26 and living with his sister Falin

- studying zoology part-time at the local college

- mostly does night classes since he works 1-2 jobs during the day to help pay for his and Falin’s tuition and apartment

- he and Fallin took their dog Muimui when they moved out, they also feed the local stray cats

- lived on a farm with his sister and parents when he was a kid, and is where his love of animals comes from

- however did not have the best of childhoods, as he was a frequent target for bullying due to having undiagnosed autism, and his father was very much a “nothing is wrong with you, toughen up the world isn’t going to coddle you” kind of person

- this was further cemented when he cried going hunting with his dad for the first time and refused to eat any of the deer or rabbit they had caught

- his mom had her own mental health problems that she was never diagnosed for, so often she fell into the same mindset as her husband when it came to Laios’ and Fallin’s behaviour, only she was more erratic due to her fear of one or both of her kids becoming like her

- never forgave his father after he sent Fallin off to a private middle/high school far away from their home, little did he know it was because the severe bullying Fallin was receiving was too much for her, and he wanted to send her away before she got hurt or worse

- nearly tried to run away at 16, however was caught by the police almost immediately and returned home

- completed his high school diploma and took off with Muimui without even saying goodbye to his parents, Fallin nearly joined him in the city but since she was still under guardianship of her parents, she couldn’t leave until she became an adult

- once graduated, she reunited with Laios in his apartment where they now live

- works nearly full-time at Senshi’s restaurant and works part-time as a janitor at their local zoo (he wants to be close to the animals lol)

- very busy but he makes it work, Marcille and Kabru have no idea how he does it without any meds or caffeine

- either has a worn out picture of him and Falin with their old dogs, or has a hand-made drawing of his theoretical strongest monster in his pocket that he looks at whenever he needs inspiration

- both him and Falin live wayyy out of the city center since rent is fucking abysmal downtown

- insists on taking the bus or walking everywhere since taxis and buying a bike costs too much, even if the commute is like 2 hours with 3 transfers

- despite this, he still has a drivers license

- the kind of guy you would expect to be eating leafy green tofu bowls from your local hipster vegan bistro, but is actually the kind of guy who eats the dubious $4 ground beef chubs and off-brand deli ham from walmart

- socks and slides with free college club t-shirts and cargo pants from the gap that come with like 50 pockets so he can carry all his stuff (the stuff mostly being dog treats and loose bird feed) bro has no drip aside from one outfit put together by Marcille

- uses the same highlighter blue and yellow adidas backpack he’s had since middle school, carries literally everything in there

- doesn’t listen to music, but if he does it’s rain/nature sounds with the $2 headphones you get from the dollarstore

- not much of a gym freak and usually just goes casually, prefers sports to working out (will have a protein shake but does not invest in creatine or other pre-workout supplements)

- either uses the same recyclable water bottle with the label torn off from a pack of 50 he got 3 years ago, or just uses one of his protein shake bottles I can’t decide

- hangs out with Marcille and Falin the most often (since Marcille constantly makes excuses to study with Falin at their apartment), sometimes gets smoothies or juice with Kabru if they run into each other

- hangs out with Senshi and Chilchuck less often, their time spent together is usually limited to having a beer after closing the restaurant or meeting together with everyone else to have dinner every couple months

- goal is to become a wildlife biologist when he graduates

- more to add if I think of it

• Fallin

- currently 23 and lives with Laios

- in her second year of studying veterinary medicine at their city’s main university

- grew up with Laios and her parents on their farm, also developed a deep love and appreciation for animals early on, but while Laios was more interested in the study of their behaviour, she was more interested in healing them

- also has undiagnosed autism like her brother, only when it came to her behaviours, she stood out a lot more and was subsequently bullied heavily for stimming, having major sensitivities to light and sound, self-isolating, talking to inanimate objects or “ghosts”, having a special interest in things like bugs or plants, and having a very specific schedule that adults had to help her with

- never really understood why adults or other children treated her differently, as she thought it was normal for everyone, however was still affected by having no friends aside from her brother during her younger years

- the bullying got so bad that kids began physically tormenting her, and since she never told Laios (who was in middle school and couldn’t always be with her), there was essentially no one to defend her

- very sadly culminates in an incident where she was intentionally locked in a graveyard overnight, and although she didn’t sustain any injuries she was fairly traumatized by the event, it was the final straw for her father to send her away to a private school at 12 years old to finish her education

- moved to a different city the next year where she stayed in dormitories, had her own room due to enrolling late

- also initially had a hard time making friends, and often cried since she couldn’t be with Laios, however no one bullied her for her autism and most often ignored her or gossiped

- had Marcille as a “buddy” to help her get acclimated to school life, however their relationship was quite awkward initially as Marcille thought she was unnerving and frankly a little stupid, however was completely shocked at Fallin’s nearly perfect grades

- school policy at that time stipulated that students had to return to the main hall for dinner at a certain time, however when Fallin doesn’t show up, Marcille has to look for her

- she finds Fallin at her secret hangout spot, similar to her dungeon in the anime, a corner with a group of trees and thick bushes that opened up into a grassy nook and a little pond, there they talk about what she does there and why she skips

- also similar to the anime, a fox (rather than a slime) catches them by surprise, but as Marcille tries to get it to run away by throwing rocks at it, Fallin stops her and explains it never comes closer than the tree line, she then points out that hurting while it’s already injured (has a slight limp) will cause it to die, allowing for the prey animals like squirrels and rabbits to eat away at most of the fauna surrounding the school, basically emphasizing the importance of all animals in an ecosystem and how it’s wrong to try and shift the ecosystem solely for our comfort or benefit (cheesy I know but it’s for the plot)

- she then offers Marcille the raspberries that grow on some of the bushes, and soon after Marcille asks if she would like to be friends

- they remain as friends in school only for another year, as Marcille graduates early and leaves Fallin behind much to her heartbreak, however does promise that she’ll visit and reunite with her soon

- by the time she graduates, she moves in with Laios and begins attending the same university as Marcille, there their friendship is reaffirmed, and they both start to develop feelings for one another

- full-time student but does work a few shifts at one of her university’s coffee shops whenever she can (tends to feel guilty about Laios helping her out with tuition on top of taking care of everything at home)

- in the honours program, and although she gets good grades her commitment is often questioned due to her habit of skipping

- reason for skipping is because she often does volunteer work at a nearby veterinary clinic

- unlike Laios, Fallin likes to bike to and from her classes

- it’s her main source of exercise, though she also does go to the gym if she has time, girl is absolutely built and is much stronger than she appears

- lives off of daily sweet treats and fried bologna sandwiches or tomato soup made by Laios

- frequently raids the raspberry bush growing outside hers and Laios’ apartment building, as well as the crabapple tree that technically belongs to the house next door but has its branches growing over the fence separating them

- also does not rely on excessive caffeine, but she does enjoy tea and coffee unlike Laios

- has a fjällräven backpack that Marcille gifted her for her birthday, mostly full of her textbooks but she does use it to carry rocks or sticks she finds interesting

- water bottle is a very dented bright pink hydro flask (also gifted to her by Marcille)

- has the jean shorts, tucked in t-shirt, and long cardigan look on lockdown, also wears hiking boots or converse, rarely is she seen in flipflops

- no make-up either, Marcille had to practically beg her to at least start using a clear lipgloss

- isn’t picky about music and usually just listens to whatever Marcille or Laios plays, sometimes she indulges in some lofi hiphop beats if she’s studying

- obviously best friends with Marcille but does not know she has a crush on Marcille, and thinks that her intense feelings of love and happiness are just normal girl friendship feelings (oh you poor thing)

- only vaguely knows of Senshi through the leftover food Laios sometimes brings home after his shifts, with Chilchuck she is more familiar since she sometimes visits him with Marcille on the weekends

- favourite thing is when her, Laios, Marcille, Izutsumi, Chilchuck, and Senshi all gather to get dinner together

- when it comes to her parents, she still maintains contact unlike Laios, though her messages tend to be generalized or cordial (not necessarily her intention it’s just she isn’t sure what to talk about in regards to her life beyond school)

- goal is to become a travelling wildlife vet

- more to add when I think of it

• Marcille

- is currently 26 and lives by herself (due to it being a modern au I’m imagining all races have the same lifespan of around 70-80 years)

- had probably the most normal upbringing and early adulthood out of all of the characters, both of her parents were very loving and attentive, always encouraging her and supporting her keen intellect through her hobbies

- however, they weren’t always around due to being very busy as government lawyers and often working late, she has very distinct memories of winning math and science awards as a child, looking out towards the crowd only to see her parents weren’t there

- was generally quite lonely during her childhood since she had no siblings or cousins to play with, a similar situation at school where most kids considered her stuck up or bossy when in reality she was just smart and was blunt about telling people when they were wrong about something

- is very close with Chilchuck, having known him and his family since she was little, although them all getting together was fairly rare, some of her fondest memories have been when they’d go on family trips together and she would get to play with Chilchuck’s daughters

- lost touch with him from ages 9-15 but reunited with him at 16 while he crashed at their place after his work injury and during his divorce, became very close with him during this time and developed a deep familial fondness for him despite all his teasing

- at 19 years old, she suffered a great deal of mental anguish as Chilchuck began to lose contact with her, Fallin was considering moving to a different city for university, and her father died due to a very sudden and unexpected stroke, she felt as though everyone in her life was slipping through her grasp and as a result, developed severe depression that would last until she completed her masters

- luckily, she had a good support system during that time and she was able to make it through the worst of it, however she still does struggle with motivation over simple tasks such as doing her hair or brushing her teeth

- her mood and outlook is much better though, having mostly returned to the same bubbly and dramatic personality that she once had

- is best friends with Fallin, and met her while at private school, mostly explained above, but her initial reaction of Fallin was quite negative before switching around after she realized that her way of thinking isn’t always the right one, even if the facts are right, her perspective and way of interpreting them isn’t always going to be sound

- this new perspective is what caused Marcille to become so enamoured with Fallin, eventually becoming a stupid crush that sticks with her to this day

- has her own studio apartment downtown, brand new building and everything (both parents are government lawyers so you can imagine the kind of money she has lmao)

- has a fawn floppy-eared bunny named Ambrosia

- despite her wealth, she doesn’t look down on her friends whatsoever, if anything she buys them expensive gifts as an act of kindness rather than an act of arrogance or condescension

- in the middle of attaining her phd in microbiology while doing independent research specializing in the study of telomere function

- attends the same university as Fallin

- graduated from high school at 16 and was done with her undergraduate by 19 and her masters by 21, a lot of people tend to think she’s full of herself but she often disregards them as people who don’t try hard enough

- born to carry her baby blue apple ecosystem in a cute tote bag, forced to haul her 7 biology textbooks in an ugly ass dark purple swissgear backpack she picked out when she was 12

- she has an unhealthy addiction to coffee and diet coke, literally cannot function without at least one per day

- cannot cook to save her life, lives exclusively off of pre-made grocery store meals or the sandwiches her university’s grab-n-go store sells, the kitchen aid mixer in her kitchen is practically a decoration at this point

- is actually the kind of person to be eating the leafy green tofu bowl from the local hipster vegan bistro

- has her own car and license, but lives close enough to her university to walk, Laios cannot fathom why she pays insurance every month for it but hardly uses or let anyone else use it

- I personally think she likes to rollerblade too

- jogging is her main form of exercise, but will also do yoga or calisthenics occasionally, probably the type of person to fall for a juice cleanse scam until Laios or Chilchuck scolds her for not eating enough

- I feel like she would be an intense swiftie (sorry :3) other than that, she likes the typical pop radio stuff that is played constantly

- at least she’s not a Stanley cup girl, she will use her scuffed gallon water bottle with the printed times of day until she dies

- very fashionable and loves to wear makeup, like wide leg pants or pleated skirts with penny loafers and cutesy blouses, a firm believer that any Korean makeup brand is far superior than anything Sephora could offer

- practically attached to the hip with Fallin, girl will find any excuse to study with her (the most pathetic sapphic ever someone put her out of her misery)

- otherwise, she’s buddy-buddy with Laios and Kabru but that’s about the extent of it, she’s known Chilchuck since she was little so he’s like an uncle to her

- she is quite friendly with Senshi and enjoys his cooking but hasn’t known him for a long time like the others, Izutsumi she treats like a little sister/niece and is always buying her things

- more to add when I think of it

• Chilchuck (you can tell he’s my fav because he has one of longest backstories lmao)

- currently 49 and living with Senshi and Izutsumi

- owns a two bedroom bungalow outside of downtown but still within the city, saved up for it after his divorce

- used to live in the suburbs with his ex-wife and daughters, but before that it was a shitty apartment close to where Laios lives now

- teen father, had Mayjack when he and his wife were 17 and had to graduate early so they could move out, they had Fullertom soon after and then Puckpatty by the time they were both 20, they got married at 22

- since neither could afford university at the time, Chilchuck went straight into a locksmithing trades program so he could have a decent income, his father had instilled a deep sense of responsibility and honour towards being a provider so he threw himself into his work which caused his and his wife’s initial frustration with one another

- when he was done apprenticing and when the kids were old enough to go to school, his wife went to university to begin studying teaching so she could become a professor, despite having to be home more often, Chilchuck still remained somewhat emotionally detached from his family

- by the time his daughters entered middle school, they had bought a house in the suburbs and his wife became qualified to teach

- feeling pressured by the mortgage, debt, and having to save for his daughter’s college, he began drinking more and taking a lot more hours at work, if he wasn’t working he was at the bar with his coworkers, he often didn’t come home until it was very late

- the final straw for his wife was when he showed up to work severely hungover and exhausted, then proceeded to nearly die in a home renovation project (passed out standing up and fell of a 20ft scaffolding, broke his hip and pelvis pretty badly as well as his humerus and quite a few of his ribs, also had a life-threatening brain bleed due to a skull fracture)

- at that point, all three of his daughters were already in university or trade school so his wife moved out and sold their house while Chilchuck was recovering in the hospital, she moved into a townhouse closer to the city’s main university where she still lives now with Fullertom

- having basically nothing in his savings, he crashed at Marcille’s parent’s place until he could save up a bit and get an apartment or townhouse (he and Marcille’s dad were friends in high school), essentially lived on their couch for about two years

- during this time, he became known as “Uncle Chil” by 16 year old Marcille and he developed a close uncle/niece relationship with her

- teased her as much as any uncle would, but also took her out shopping every couple of months, could never afford the stuff she wanted but he always got her lunch

- eventually, he saved up enough for the down payment of the two bedroom bungalow he lives in now and moved in, initially lost touch with Marcille but started being there for her more after her dad died, even began getting in touch with his daughters again at Marcille’s suggestion

- from then on, he took his work life more easily and tried to make time for himself in between shifts so that he didn’t feel he needs to drink himself stupid every time he came home, tried to pick up multiple hobbies and eventually settled on pottery making and brewing his own alcohol (that he sells…. mostly lol)

- meets Senshi at 42 when he is called in to install the locks and security system of the new restaurant Senshi is building, initially they had not been super friendly with each other, as Chilchuck found it infuriating how Senshi kept on wanting changes to be made to his security system, and how he was basically a walking construction accident waiting to happen

- once everything was finished however, Senshi offered Chilchuck a free dinner at his place as an apology for being stubborn, and unable to say no to free food (and alcohol) Chilchuck agrees

- they become friends after the dinner, however proceed to dance around each other for another 4 years until Marcille threatens to tell Senshi about Chilchuck’s feelings if he doesn’t confess himself

- Chilchuck does eventually confess (during a very charged “guy’s trip” to a resort in Mexico) and they start dating, after the trip, Senshi and Izutsumi move into Chilchuck’s place where they still currently live

- thanks to living with Senshi, Chilchuck adopts a more healthy lifestyle where he stops smoking, eats more, and drinks less, in return, he helps Senshi manage Izutsumi during her teen years as well as help out around his restaurant when he has time

- is generally living comfortably now, with a nice salary and more free time to commit to his hobbies, despite this he still deeply cares about his work and is a union man at heart who is always willing to rally behind his coworkers and organize when something happens

- mostly listens to 80s dad rock and some 90s grunge, is very proud of his CD collection

- dresses similar to Laios, however ditches the college club t-shirt and cargo shorts for polos shirts and chino shorts or dress shirts and casual slacks, also wears tacky boomer sandals for his feet or his construction boots

- drives a land rover defender that he bought in high school, cares for it deeply but isn’t a car guy by any means, he does the bare minimum maintenance to keep it safe and functional

- carries his minimal stuff in a sling bag and lunch cooler, but he also has a survival backpack in the back of his land rover for emergencies

- is a Stanley cup owner, has two, one from the 70s that his dad gave to him, and another white modern one from Marcille, his older one is covered in princess stickers from when his daughters were young

- pretentious black coffee drinker, makes fun of Izutsumi all the time for the amount of simple syrup and cream she puts into her iced coffee

- is okay at cooking, but is definitely more of a grill master, never ask him to deep fry anything though

- is also surprisingly handy thanks to the skills his dad passed onto him, speaking of his family, he isn’t very close to his mother and siblings since they all moved back to their home continent after Chilchuck graduated, he still sometimes travels alone on special holidays or on the anniversary of his father’s death but only if he can afford it

- is now a supervisor of his own crew, initially he wanted to own his own locksmith company, but he also wants to retire soon so he needs to save up as much as he can

- has two main friend groups, one he refers to as “the freaks” which includes Laios, Marcille, Fallin, Kabru, Izutsumi, and Senshi, and the other he refers to as “work” which includes Namari, Mickbell, Kuro, and Dandan

- is closest to Senshi and Marcille, seeing them as his family, however is a bit more distant with Izutsumi since he doesn’t want to automatically take on a “step-dad” role in her life, the reasoning mainly stems from his respect of her and her decisions on who she gets to let in her life, but is also because he wants to avoid things becoming awkward between them

- is, if not begrudgingly, friendly with Laios and Fallin, deep down he cares about them more than he lets on, is mostly cordial with Kabru

- is surprisingly close to Namari, however they keep their relationship strictly within their workplace and the bar they sometimes hit up afterwards

- is closer to his ex-wife and daughters now, having dinner once a month at his ex-wife’s house, they still haven’t really reconciled but they’ve allowed each other to move on

- more to add when I think of it

• Senshi (also super long please forgive me)

- is currently 52 and living with Chilchuck and his adopted daughter Izutsumi

- lives in Chilchuck’s house, but used to own a condo near the restaurant he used to work for

- when he was a child, he lived on an entirely separate continent in the remote far north, the village he grew up in was known for its mining industry, most of the community including his parents were miners, however an accident killed his father and cancer killed his mother when he was a baby, so his father’s friend Gillin took Senshi in when he was 2

- due to the mining culture surrounding the village, it was expected that Senshi also become a miner when he grew up, this coupled with the hyper-masculine ideas of honouring his late father and carrying on the bloodline, made Senshi not really put in much effort into school since he believed it had no use for him, a decision that would later hinder his career and degree options greatly

- once graduated from high school, Gillin immediately had Senshi take his safety courses and get his certification so he could get a job as soon as possible, with some references from Gillin himself, Senshi was able to land a beginner’s position within the company Gillin was in

- worked 7 years mining coal until the mine ran dry and he had to look for work elsewhere, jumped positions between 3-4 companies over another 8 years mining iron and copper until he landed a 2 year contract at a remote but booming silver mine

- was put into a 6 man team composed of himself, Gillin, Brigan, Invar, Totan, and Noor, where they would descend into a highly unregulated and dangerous mountain mine and extract the massive veins of silver, they all were paid well, but the conditions were next to abysmal

- 1 year and 9 months into the contract, a rockslide on the south side of the mountain caused a cheap tunnel support to collapse over the only exit leading out of the stope they were mining in, effectively trapping them indefinitely

- luckily they had a ventilation shaft, but none of them could fit inside and escape or yell for attention since they were trapped over 200ft deep and 500ft in the mountain, so their only option was to ration their food and wait for help to arrive

- they do try to escape in other ways, such as mining through the collapsed support, however this only leads to injury among the group, and as much as Senshi wanted to help, he was under strict instruction by Gillin not to over-exert himself, even though he wasn’t a kid anymore, he still had the most strength and wits among them all, this also results in him receiving the most food much to Brigan’s rage

- in an attempt to be useful, Senshi started drawing up the maps of the mine to see if there was a tunnel close by they could mine into

- as more time passes and they realized no one would be coming to help them, their escape attempts become much more desperate, one attempt to blow up the collapsed tunnel entrance with their remaining explosives leads to the death of Totan, another attempt to start mining over the collapsed tunnel entrance leads to the death of Noor, one last attempt to remove the panelling lining the ventilation shaft so they could be able to fit through leads to the death of Invar, leaving only Brigan, Gillin, and Senshi left

- after six weeks of being trapped under ground, Brigan mentally snaps and tries to cannibalize Senshi so they could eat his flesh, this leads to a physical altercation between Gillin and Brigan which ends in an unstable overhang of rock to collapse and crush Brigan and for Gillin to succumb to his wounds and exhaustion

- alone and starving, Senshi realizes he is now skinny enough to fit through the ventilation shafts and crawl his way out, he uses a combination of ropes and support spikes to help aid him, but soon quickly realizes he mostly has to navigate in the dark

- for two more weeks, Senshi follows the map he memorized and the feeling of airflow to make his way out, only surviving off of his remaining water, in the end he managed to crawl out of a shaft just outside the mining camp

- relived and also deeply saddened, Senshi remains near the shaft until some workers doing a perimeter check find him in the morning, he is promptly taken into the hospital to treat his injuries

- after explaining the situation to the police and his boss, his boss offers him a $30,000 payout to keep quiet and say nothing, the officers say it is possible to take his boss and the company to court, however it would likely put him into massive debt trying to find a good lawyer, in the end Senshi takes the money and leaves the camp for his village

- what’s left to him by Gillin is another $50,000 in savings and property assets, the rest is given to his remaining family, the first thing Senshi buys with the money is his adamantine pot and mythril knife, using both to make a soup Gillin would often feed him, and leaving five bowls of it outside of the collapsed silver mine before moving out of his village for good at aged 35

- he moves to the continent and city where all the other characters are currently living, buying his condo and deciding to enter into 4 year culinary school program

- during these 4 years, Senshi comes to realize that cooking is his true passion, finding it immensely rewarding and fulfilling, and even though he didn’t make many friends due to his unorthodox taste and recipes, it was still the most happy he’s ever been

- about 1 year after graduating and getting a job as the main line cook for a high end restaurant, Senshi meets and adopts 5 year old Izutsumi

- he initially sees her wandering around the green belt outside and behind the restaurant, kicking rocks and occasionally running and hiding in trees, he was always worried she was homeless, however would always see she was gone by the time he was done his shifts

- around five months of this, Izutsumi notices and begins to approach Senshi, as if she had wanted food, Senshi would usually offer some of his packed lunches or leftovers and she would always accept and sit next to him while they ate

- Izutsumi usually never spoke but was always ravenous, Senshi often worried that she was being abused, but whenever he would ask she would always say no, and since she was a healthy weight and never had any bruises or welts, Senshi reluctantly believed her, after that though he began packing more food

- eventually, a woman (Maizuru) approaches Senshi after one of his shifts and bluntly asked if he would like to take care of Izutsumi from then on, baffled he asked who she was and why she knew he was feeding Izutsumi, and she explained that she is her caretaker

- she also explained that since Izutsumi seemed to trust and respect Senshi the most, that he would be the best person to give her a chance at a normal life and raise her into an adjusted adult, due to the fact that she has no regard or interest or respect in her or the rest of her foster family, she then conceded that her question was rather sudden, but still implored Senshi to take her into his care or otherwise she would be forced into an orphanage

- thinking of Gillin, and with the wound of his crew’s death still in his mind Senshi, perhaps impulsively, agrees to take Izutsumi in, much to Maizuru’s delight and thankfulness

- the next day, she returns with Izutsumi and her things and tells Senshi that she will handle most of the legal paperwork aside from the few forms that he will have to sign

- from that point onward, he took care of Izutsumi and made sure she got through school, although she wasn’t completely responsive and obedient, he was still very patient and understanding with her, except for the first few times she would keep on running away from school to join him for his lunch breaks

- they have a very trusting relationship with one another, and Senshi is the only one Izutsumi will open up to, Senshi often encouraged her talent of athleticism by signing her up for various sports, he was and still is very attentive towards her needs and is always feeding her the things she likes (and dislikes)

- Senshi works at the restaurant for another 9 years, simultaneously saving up for his own restaurant and saving for Izutsumi’s college, at age 45 he meets Chilchuck during the construction of his restaurant and they form a close friendship

- subsequently, he is introduced to Marcille, Fallin, Laios, and even Kabru, but still mostly interacts with Chilchuck and Itsuzumi

- however he is quite close with Laios since he works as a server at his restaurant and is very enthusiastic about his cooking technique, flavour pallet, and types of dishes he serves

- at age 49, he officially opens his restaurant and starts dating Chilchuck, the three of them all move in together and become a household unit

- is now very happy with where he is at in life, works and manages his restaurant while still making time for Izutsumi and her hobbies, is very close with Chilchuck and becomes the first person he opens up to about his past and what he went through, generally the grossest and most sappiest old couple you will ever meet

- made a Senshi-sized hole deep into the fabric of Chilchuck’s home, converting his backyard into a full vegetable and flower garden that he maintains, is super proud about it and often leaves the prettiest flowers on Chilchuck’s side of the bed or in a vase on Izutsumi’s bedside table

- head-chef and owner of his restaurant, his favourite part is being able to cook what he wants for a very specific audience (people like Laios)

- his food is not super high-end but also not like a family diner either, a healthy mix of both, like kid friendly while still being classy and opulent enough to take someone out on a date there

- drives his beloved suzuki carry to and from work every day, does a good job maintaining it on his own despite it being boring according to him

- I honestly don’t really know what Senshi would listen to, I feel like the most in character for him would be folk music from his home country or bossa nova i can’t really decide

- coffee with lots of sugar but no cream or milk, prefers drinking black tea with milk and honey if he has a choice

- bag is a basic backpack with minimal items like wallet, keys, lipbalm, mints, etc… always has a change of clothes in case his gets dirty at work, also has extra hair and beard nets, some stuff for Izutsumi is in there too

- water bottle is also a vintage stanley cup, but his is wayyy more dented than Chilchuck’s and older (from like the 50s) refuses to buy anything else until it is unusable, has had the same piece of duct tape sealing a leak near the bottom for the past 20 years

- also can’t decide if he’s a t-shirt or Hawaiian shirt kind of guy, probably a healthy mix of both, also mostly wears shorts or a kilt-like garment native to his home country, lives exclusively in sandals you will never find him in close-toed shoes unless he’s working

- funny story deriving from this fact, the first impression Chilchuck ever had of Senshi (aside from “damn he’s kinda hot”) was “oh my god how the fuck is this guy not dead” due to the fact that Senshi showed up to the construction sight with flip flops, no safety helmet, and no safety vest on whatsoever

- more to add when I think of it

• Izutsumi (still a cat-girl in this universe)

- currently 17 and living with Senshi and Chilchuck

- used to live with the Nakamoto’s as a foster child, however hated living there due to the unfamiliarity and attempts at sweeping her past trauma under the rug and refusing to treat her for it

- life before the Nakamoto’s is fuzzy, it’s implied by her councillor and confirmed by Maizuru later on that she was raised by her mother until she died or abandoned her at 3 years old, was then placed into the care of another foster home who physically and verbally abused her, keeping her chained up in the basement most of the day and hardly feeding her, if not forgetting about her all together

- she was taken in by the Nakamoto’s at aged 4, and had a very hard time managing her due to her stunted social skills, anger issues, and delayed language development manifesting itself in avoidance behaviours such as running away and lashing out violently

- had frequent nightmares during this time, resulting in her becoming very clingy during the night

- would often run away to the green belt close to her house, the same green belt that was connected to Senshi’s restaurant

- initially only approached him because of the smell of food, her prior abuse and malnutrition resulted in an early form of binge eating, so she often sought any sight, smell, or taste food as a way of safety and comfort

- unlike all her previous caretakers, she found Senshi to not be malicious or uncaring towards her, especially after he started sharing and bringing food for her, her ease around him didn’t go unnoticed by Maizuru who then offered Senshi the deal to take care of her

- initially hated living in Senshi’s condo since the small space reminded her of the basement she was kept in, but soon found it to be much more comfortable if she could smell the food Senshi would make

- Received counselling for her trauma and slowly began to get better, however she would still frequently act out or skip school as a coping mechanism, however, Senshi helped her regulate her energy and emotions through signing her up for various sports, she did volleyball, hockey, wrestling, swimming, etc… until she settled on gymnastics and Muay Thai

- has somewhat of a complex towards love and attachment, in that she doesn’t fully believe an individual cares for her or loves her so will often do whatever she likes both because she doesn’t think it affects the other person that much and because it will prevent people from wanting to get close to her and have a meaningful relationship, a complex that stems from her past abuse

- is now in a much better headspace than she was in, as she has two caretakers who are patient and understanding with her, but are also willing to discipline her and prepare her for the outside world, she also has a good external support system and even a friend at school whom she often hangs out with

- she is currently in her junior year of high school, with decent grades, but only because Senshi and Chilchuck want her to do well so she has more options for university

- her best subjects are science, phsy ed., english, has a hard time with social studies and math

- her one friend her age is Tade as they both are frequently sent to the after-school homework program to help improve their grades, Izutsumi is usually good at shouldering off her homework to her in exchange for ice cream or food, but she’s usually caught and forced to do double the work

- Tade is also a foster kid of the Nakamoto’s, in fact she was the one Izutsumi would usually go to sleep with if she had a nightmare, so they never hang out at her house and either stay at Izutsumi’s house or hang out at the local park/mall

- is very talented athletically, and has won multiple awards at gymnastics and Muay Thai competitions

- still a ravenous eater, but with a crazy fast metabolism so she gains almost no weight, still picky with vegetables and mushrooms but will still eat them as long as their hidden in her food well enough

- coffee flavoured milk drinker, if there’s even a hint of bitterness in her coffee she’s throwing it out

- is into most old alternative or indie rock, appreciates Chilchuck’s taste in music immensely, she’s been learning how to play the bass recently

- has been learning basic recipes from Senshi and can manage a few dishes on her own, is much better at baking overall, never leave her alone with the blowtorch or barbecue though

- aside from sports, she enjoys playing video games and sleeping, she likes mostly storytelling or competitive console games like Skyrim, God of War, and Call of Duty

- bag is a simple black backpack that has all of her papers and textbooks haphazardly shoved in with no regard for neatness or organization, on a good day a pencil will be in there too

- water bottle is non-existent, she uses drinks from the school water fountain as an excuse to get out of class and wander around for a bit

- is old enough to drive and has her license, but doesn’t have her own car yet and still has to catch the bus, if she does drive it’s Senshi’s suzuki, Chilchuck let her drive his land rover once and she backed into a pole

- lives in crop tops and shorts, is actually quite fashionable but doesn’t have the energy or motivation to pull anything off, either wears converse, slides, crocs, or doc martens as footwear, most would describe her style as grunge-ish

- makeup is hit or miss, sometimes she can muster some concealer and eyeliner, but for the most part she just washes her face and nothing else, she is big into jewelry though and likes to wear lots of accessories

- has been allowed to pierce her ears quite extensively, as well as her nose, however both Senshi and Chilchuck have drawn the line at any other face piercings until she’s an adult, much to her dismay

- outside of Senshi, Chilchuck, and Tade, she is probably the most friendly with Marcille and Fallin as they frequently visit and interact with her, Marcille especially loves to spoil Izutsumi with treats and gifts since she never had a little cousin growing up

- Izutsumi likes Fallin for her quietness and ability to keep out of her business, however saw first hand how weird she can be when she held up a massive rhinoceros beetle without even flinching, also when she kept on excusing herself to their backyard to go snack on their strawberry plants

- Laios and Kabru she knows of, also finds Laios to be very weird but is less friendly about it than she is with Fallin, his lack of understanding of social cues also confuses her

- more to add when I think of it

AND THATS IT!!! This was stupidly long, I hope I didn’t bore you to death lol. I’ll probably do another one of these so I can include Chilchuck’s daughters, Kabru, Namari, etc… maybe with some additions to the main cast, but yeah that’s about the extend of it, hope you enjoyed :3

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #laios touden #falin touden #chilchuck tims #senshi of izganda #izutsumi #marcille donato #modern au #farcille #chilshi #labru if you squint #dungeon meshi minor characters #this took me forever I am so exhausted #I kinda wanna make a fic out of this but I have no idea what plot line or what character I should even focus on lmaooo #hooray for hyper-specific character interpretations!!

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