#objectively funny punishment

[batshit-auspol]

Fun fact for our international followers: If someone in Australia cuts down a tree on public land to improve the view from their house, the local government will install a sign to block that view again

[sugar-pink-poison]

Gonna be real, i am so tempted to just leave some characters the same as in marvel for my marvel/mlp au

I just want to see what happens when I throw Daredevil Applejack at Frank Castle

I think she would break him

[spacexseven]

Hi still dying with uni (and a cold) but. wtf is fyodor's ability.

[knowlesian]

“i feel like i only make sense when the whole world is coming apart” well goddamn misfits and magic go ahead and just make me literally and emotionally pause to stare into the middle distance for a while why fucking don’t you

[animezinglife]

Let me get this straight.

This man gave us a free goat and he's on trial for it? I think not.

[sasudou]

[the-beacons-of-minas-tirith]

Hold on i gotta look something up

…yeah this is funny

oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now

[sixeyesonathiel]

satoru gets jealous of inanimate objects.

why is the pillow getting more hugs than him? why is your phone funnier than he is? why does the blanket get wrapped around you instead of him when he’s literally right there, built like a heater, available and desperate for affection? he’s six feet of love-starved muscle, and you’re choosing a glorified sack of cotton over him?

it’s not that he’s dramatic (he is). it’s not that he craves your attention like it’s oxygen (he does). it’s just that he knows he can do it better. he can be softer than your pillow. warmer than your blanket. funnier than your timeline. he has jokes, okay? and arms. and a body that you used to cling to like a koala in your sleep, so what happened to that? what changed? was it something he did? is this punishment? have you… outgrown him?

“you haven’t hugged me all day,” he sulks, chin digging into your shoulder, arms wrapped tight around your waist like a vice. “you hugged that stuffed animal for a solid ten minutes. is he funnier than me, too? is he taller? stronger? does he have an eight-pack?”

“he’s a bunny, satoru.”

“a ripped bunny, probably. emotionally intelligent. good with taxes. i bet he remembers anniversaries.”

he would know. he bought it. it was one of those claw machine wins at the arcade on your second date, the kind where he burned through twenty dollars like it was pocket lint until he finally, triumphantly, fished the floppy-eared thing out by the foot. he made you name it. declared it your shared child. called it his competition from day one. satoru even gave it a tiny ribbon scarf, because he said it needed to look presentable when it went toe-to-toe with him for your affection.

he was all smiles and smug winks back then—thought it was funny. he’s not laughing now.

because here he is, years later, still glaring at the bunny across the bed like it wronged him personally. like it’s out here stealing his wife. he swears it watches him with beady little judgmental eyes. plotting. scheming. waiting for the right moment to hop in and take his place.

“do you love it more than me?” he deadpans, already pulling you into his chest like he doesn’t want to hear the answer. dramatic gasp. “oh my god, you do. you love the bunny more. i’m losing to polyester stuffing.”

you roll your eyes, but he’s already burying his face into your neck, all whiny and clingy and hot breath against your skin like a puppy who hasn’t seen you in years. he makes a noise when you finally stroke his hair, a pleased little hum, arms squeezing tighter like he’s won a prize. like he’s claiming you back from his fuzzy rival. his biggest nemesis to date.

“this is better,” he mumbles. “way better.”

(pillow: -1. bunny: forever suspect. phone: on thin ice. satoru: smug as hell and back in his rightful place—in your arms.)

[roanofarcc]

FUNNY BUSINESS

pairing. tyler owens x boone’s sister!reader

summary. boone was a laid-back guy who only really had one, long-standing rule: his sister was off-limits to the wranglers. But tyler had a bad habit of rule-breaking.

 warnings. a curse or two, fem!reader, mentions of drinking/being drunk (not reader), suggestive jokes, bed-sharing.

word count. 4k || masterlist

“You’re the worst, you know that?” Dani said, her arms crossed over her chest as she leaned against the side of the rig alongside Tyler and Boone. She and Tyler had their sights set on you as you concentrated on the options of the vending machine, oblivious to their attention. 

Boone furrowed his brows, having just been focused on the camera in his hands. “Who?” 

“You,” Dani answered. “You brought your hot sister all of the way out here to help us, and then tell us she’s off-limits. It’s cruel and unusual punishment, if ‘ya ask me.” 

A laugh bubbled up from Tyler’s throat, earning him a glare from Boone. “It’s not my fault none of you assholes can keep it in your pants.” 

It was Tyler’s turn to glare, playfully. “I’m a gentleman, Boone. Is it a crime to get to know her, you know, considering she’s a part of the team now?” 

With a sigh, Boone shook his head. “Just no funny business.” 

Tyler mock saluted. “Scouts honor.” 

Tyler was a gentleman; his momma had raised him as such. And despite his teasing, he did want to respect Boone’s words. But at the same time, you were the newest member of the Wranglers, and Tyler did want to get to know you since you’d be hanging around for at least that season. 

Boone had suggested to bring you on to help with the charity aspect of their storm-chasing. The t-shirt and other sales they made from their online audience went mostly to help victims of the storms they chased, and the rest went back into making the merchandise to sell. Boone said you’d be a good addition to help out with the business side of things, and he’d been right from what Tyler had seen so far. You were smart and quick, and were able to keep up with the rest of Wranglers as if you’d been a part of the team since the start. Tyler was impressed. 

But what really impressed him, was how caring you were. It was the first time you’d come along with them to help out a neighborhood that was hit hard by a tornado. Houses were leveled and the devastation was thick in the air from the moment they arrived. 

The Wrangler quickly got to work. Lily and Dexter started making sandwiches. Dani started walking around and passing out water bottles. Boone helped the injured to the ambulances that arrived. Tyler started making rounds, helping families find their missing pets or important objects in the rubble. But as he did so, he couldn’t help but watch you interact with the victims as well. 

A couple of kids from the neighborhood sat together in a clear patch of grass while their parents tried to salvage some of their belongings and figure out what to do next. They all looked teary-eyed, and faces pulled in frowns as they sat quietly, clutching stuffed animals or picking at the wet grass to distract themselves. You approached them, sitting down in the little circle they formed. 

Tyler couldn’t hear what you were saying to them, but your started to look more and more animated and the kids cracked small smiles. After a couple more moments, the kids’ moods looked to shift into something lighter despite the devastation around them. The somber air slowly became filled with giggles and kids’ voices overlapping excitedly. 

Tyler found himself smiling softly at the sight before he ventured over. “How’s it going over here?” he asked, earning your attention. 

“David here is telling us a very interesting story about a space alien,” you said, earning an enthusiastic nod from one of the younger boys in the circle. “You guys keep telling stories and I’m gonna go make sure no one else needs help, okay?” 

The kids all shared a series of ‘okays’ and ‘thank yous’ before you moved to stand up. Tyler outstretched his hand toward you, and you took it with a smile, letting him help you to your feet. Once you stood directly in front of him, he felt himself clam up slightly. He and Dani had made jokes in hopes of irritating Boone in regards to how attractive you were, but seeing you that close, in the after-storm sunlight, Tyler’s breath hitched in his throat. 

“Thanks,” you said, dropping your hand back at your side and gazing around at what else there was to be done in the neighborhood. 

He cleared his throat. “That was smart, keepin’ their minds off of…” he vaguely gestured around them, feeling a knot in his gut of pity for the poor families affected. 

You smiled sadly. “My parents used to do that with Boone and I. When we’d have to wait in the cellar, we’d all tell stories until the storm passed. The more outrageous the better,” you explained. 

“It seemed to work,” Tyler said, glancing at the circle of kids all sharing outrageous stories with laughter and smiles instead of the frowns they held a couple minutes ago. 

“Yeah, at least a little bit,” you said. There was a beat where Tyler didn’t know what else to say. Something over his shoulder caught your eye before you looked back to him and said, “I’m gonna go help Boone.” You sidestepped Tyler and left him in a slight daze. 

He whispered a string of curses under his breath once he was out of earshot of the kids, and hurried back to the camper where the Wranglers were handing out food. 

“I’ve got a problem,” he muttered to his friends. 

Lily handed out another sandwich before eyeing him oddly. “A problem-problem or a you-problem?” 

“A me-problem.” 

“Ah,” she said. “Shoot, cowboy.” 

“It’s Boone’s sister,” he whispered, ensuring that only Lily, Dexter, and Dani heard him. “She’s…”

“Attractive? Yeah, I thought we already established that?” Dani said, opening another case of water. 

Tyler rubbed his forehead, an odd feeling twisting around inside his stomach. “It’s not just that,” he said. “She’s pretty, sure, but-” 

Lily cut him off with slightly wide eyes. “Oh no,” she said. 

Dexter furrowed his brows. “Oh no? Oh no, what?” 

“Tyler only, and I mean only, calls women ‘pretty’ when he has a crush on them. Some ole’ woman at a bar that’s makin’ eyes at him, he’ll call her ‘attractive’ or ‘easy on the eyes’ never ‘pretty.’ Pretty he saves for the ones he’s got a big fat school-boy crush on. And normally that’s all fine and dandy, but this is Boone’s sister we’re talking about, Tyler.” 

He hated how well Lily knew him. She read him like a book. 

Dexter whistled lowly. “That’s unfortunate.” 

“What’s unfortunate?” Boone said, approaching the group with you beside him. All of the Wranglers, aside from you two, looked at Tyler, which was anything but helpful. 

Boone was one of Tyler’s best friends, and he knew it was the right thing to listen to him. Besides, Tyler hadn’t known you long so maybe his ‘school-boy crush,’ as Lily had put it, would fade once he got used to having you around. 

Clearing his throat, Tyler shook his head. “Nothin’ important,” he said. “Let’s pass the rest of this food out before we head out for the night.” 

You adored your brother’s friends more than you thought you would. You’d watch the Wranglers’ livestreams, but it was different being around them in person. Their passion for storm chasing was admirable and how they helped those affected by the very storms they were in awe of was amazing. 

When Boone asked you to help out, you jumped at the opportunity. You certainly didn’t regret your decision, but you greatly underestimated the charm of Tyler Owens. You’d read the comments online, all ogling at the storm chaser, but it wasn’t just his looks that made him incredibly attractive. Tyler’s charm entered everything he did and said, but it was especially enticing when he talked about storms. When he got particularly excited, he spoke with his hands, lips pulled in a grin that was ridiculously mesmerizing. You could have listened to him talk about the weather forever, which was a problem. 

It felt foolish on your part; not only was Tyler one of your brother’s best friends, but you thought he was miles out of your league. He had people practically drooling over him in the comments of his videos and making eyes the second he stepped into a building. He was a personality, wild and loud, but with a sweet side to make him even more likable. You told yourself the little crush would pass, but you worried that if Tyler kept being so damn nice to you, it’d be years before that happened. 

“So, this is how storm chasers spend their off time?” you said, propping your elbows up on the bar before something sticky touched your skin. You recoiled in a grimace. 

A chuckle sounded from Tyler as he handed you a napkin. “Here,” he said. “And yeah, it’s the perfect way to unwind. Though, word of caution, don’t drink too much. Storm chasing hung-over is a different kind of hell.” 

You wiped someone’s spilled drink from your elbows and nodded. “Noted.” There was still a lot you had to learn about the ins and outs of storm chasing, but you were excited to learn. A silence passed between you two, the space filled with the bar chatter. The place was busy for it being in the middle of nowhere; the Wranglers said it was because most people were either dedicated locals or fellow storm chasers looking to relax a little. 

Your brother and the rest of the team were at the old-timey jukebox, picking out songs that they then danced to, loud and rowdy as ever. But Tyler didn’t join them. Instead, he sat at the bar nursing a beer. Before you arrived, he was talking to an old man on the other side of him, cracking jokes like he’d known the stranger for years. 

It was like each minute you were there with them, you uncovered something else about Tyler. And maybe it was a couple of sips of alcohol that were already affecting your system but felt like he should know that. 

“You know, you’re a little different than I thought you’d be,” you admitted. 

He studied for a moment with a gaze that made you nervous, but not in a bad way. “Oh yeah? How’d you think I was gonna be?” 

You shrugged. “I watch the lives, mostly to make sure Boone is okay, but online you seemed…” You weren’t sure of what the right word to use was. You settled on, “More intense, I guess.” 

A smirk crept across his lips. “And I am not intense enough for ‘ya?” 

Your face felt hot, and the busy bar wasn’t helping. You adverted your eyes down to your drink and tried to laugh off your fluster. “I just mean, I thought you’d be like all of the time. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to keep up and you’d all think I wasn’t a good fit.” 

The smirk fell from Tyler’s face and was replaced with a furrow of his brows. “Are you crazy?” he said. “We needed someone like you on our team. I know you just started, but I think you’re the best fit we could’ve picked.” 

“Careful,” you teased. “Too many compliments like that might go to my head.” Even though you were pretty sure he was just trying to make you feel better, there was something in his tone that was convincing. 

“What are y’all doin’?” Boone’s voice filled your ears and suddenly his arm was slung around both your and Tyler’s shoulders, forcing you two to lean in a little bit closer to one another, but with Boone sandwiched in the middle. Your brother’s breath smelled like beer and there was that goofy smile on his face he always got when he had one too many. “The party’s on the dance floor!” 

You glanced over at the ‘dance floor’ which was a little space the Wranglers had carved out in front of the jukebox. A couple others joined them, but it wasn’t anything too wild. 

Tyler shook his head and finished his beer. “Your ass is gonna be sorry tomorrow, Boone. I told you we’re leaving bright and early.” 

Boone patted Tyler’s cheek. “I’ll be just fine.” 

Boone was not ‘just fine’ the next morning. What he was a pain in Tyler’s ass, which resulted in him being demoted to the backseat and you prompted to the passenger seat. Maybe that wasn’t the best move for Tyler because while he was driving, he found himself slightly distracted by you. 

You sat with your attention fixed out the window, watching the plains roll by with admiration. Every so often you fiddled with the radio per Lily’s request, but other than that you were quiet, observing. 

“Can we take a pit stop?” Boone moaned. Tyler glanced at in the rearview mirror, face paled and eyes squeezed shut. 

Tyler sighed. “I swear, if you throw up in my truck, Boone…” Tyler muttered, straining his eyes down the road for any sign of a gas station, but there didn’t look to be anything close. 

“There’s not another stop for half an hour tops,” you said, searching on your phone. 

“Great, cool, yeah,” Boone said. “Then you may wanna pull over or else everyone’s about to have a real bad time in here.” 

Tyler quickly pulled off to the side of the road and Boone scrambled out, across the road to empty his stomach. 

“I don’t know how many times I’ve got to tell him,” Tyler sighed. 

“He won’t listen,” Lily said, unbuckling and sticking her face between you and Tyler. “I’ll make sure he’s all right. You two keep an eye on the weather.” She hopped out, leaving you and Tyler alone. 

He drummed his fingers against the steering wheel, wracking his brain for something to say to you. Normally he had no issue talking to people, but he found himself second-guessing his words when it came to you. But you beat him to the punch. 

“He’s never been too good at holding his alcohol,” you said. “I can’t tell you how many times I had to pick him up because he got sick at some friend’s bonfire back in high school. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone get hangovers so badly.” 

“All a part of his charm, I guess,” Tyler joked. “Does it run in the family?” 

You shook your head. “No, neither charm nor hangovers. Boone’s one of a kind, that’s for sure.” 

Tyler steadied himself a little, finding that thread of confidence in the back of his mind. He gazed at you, taking in the pretty features of your face. “I think you’re wrong on the charming bit.” 

You looked surprised, eyes a little wider. “Me? Charming?” You scoffed. “No way.” 

“Charming, smart, pretty…” Tyler trailed off, waiting for a reaction from you to let him know if he had swung and missed. You looked down, averting your eyes and clearing your throat. Out the windshield, he saw two figures moving in his peripheral vision and before you got the chance to say anything back, Boone and Lily reentered the car. 

“That’s my bad, you guys,” Boone said. 

You turned your head over your shoulder to look at your brother. “Feel better?” 

“Oh, yeah. Ready to chase this son of a bitch!” And you all were off again. Tyler wished Boone and Lily had held out for one more minute. He wanted some kind of response from you, even if it was one telling him he had no chance. It was like an itch he couldn’t scratch, and one he felt bad about having, but he couldn’t help it. You were something new, a little unknown, and unpredictable. If there was one thing Tyler was good at, it was chasing through his apprehension. But instead of a tornado, you had quickly become the storm occupying his mind. 

You knocked for the fifth time on Boone’s door and tried calling him again, but one thing about your brother was that he was one of the heaviest sleepers of anyone you’ve ever met. That paired with his hangover from the night prior left him not answering you. You cursed under your breath, ready to set up camp in one of the rickety pool lounge chairs. 

There was an unpleasant pair of cockroaches in your motel room and the thought of sleeping with them scurrying about was out of the question. Since none of the other Wranglers had left their rooms, you wondered if you were the only one to notice them or the only one who had them. Whatever the case was, you couldn’t sleep in your room and apparently, you couldn’t sleep in Boone’s either because he was fast asleep. You couldn’t remember where Dani and Lily's rooms were to ask to bunk them. 

It seemed like you were out of luck until the door next to Boone’s opened and a groggy Tyler stepped out. “What’s goin’ on?” he yawned, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. 

You hugged your arms closer to your body. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” 

“Sorta,” he answered and you felt immediately guilty. “But it’s all right. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay out here. What’re you doin’ up anyway? It’s the middle of the night.” 

“There are cockroaches in my room,” you sighed. “I was trying to see if I could crash with Boone, but he sleeps like the dead.” 

Tyler chuckled. “That he does.” There was a beat and silent contemplation. You were about to tell him you’d crash in the camper or the truck, but he nodded his head back toward his room. “Come on,” he said. 

You stood, confused for a moment. “You can crash with me. I don’t think my room has cockroaches but for both our peace of mind, I wouldn’t look around too hard.” 

You weren't sure if you were elated or embarrassed. Overall, you were tired, exhausted even, and any thought of declining fled your mind the second Tyler turned to walk back inside, assuming you were following. So, you did. 

Tyler patted the edge of the bed. “It’s all yours,” he said, gathering one of the pillows in his arms. 

“What’re you doing?” 

He tossed the pillow onto the floor. “Praying for no cockroaches for the next couple of hours.” 

“No, wait,” you rushed out. “You can’t sleep on the floor.” 

“It’s all good-” he started, but you cut him off. 

“No way. I’m not kicking you out of your bed in your room.” You glanced at the bed, feeling your face grow hot at the thought of what you were about to suggest, but you couldn’t let him spend the night on the floor. “We can just…share.” 

Tyler stared at you for a moment, like he didn’t know what to say. He shifted his gaze between the pillow on the floor and the bed before landing back on you. “Are you sure? Because I really don’t mind.” 

“I’m sure.” 

Hesitantly, you sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off your shoes, trying to ignore the shift of weight on the mattress as sat down opposite of you. It wasn’t as big of a deal as your mind was trying to tell you it was. It was just two co-workers, borderline friends, sharing a bed so no one had to face any cockroaches. That was all it was. But even in the darkness of the motel room, you couldn’t help the quick beat of your heart as you crawled under the covers, with your back facing Tyler. He did the same and before you could convince yourself what you were doing was not a big deal at all, Tyler’s soft snores filled the room. It was oddly reassuring. You fell asleep not long after him, a clear space between you but something in the air that wanted to draw you two closer. 

For a moment, when he woke up, Tyler thought the exchange he had with you in the middle of the night had been a dream. But when he rolled over to find your sleeping face inches away from his, he realized it was very much real. Your eyes were softly closed and your lips slightly parted as you slept. He found himself admiring you for just a moment, until there was a loud knock on his door, forcing him to get up. 

He threw it open without thinking much about it. Boone greeted him with a slightly worried expression pulled on his face. “Hey, man what’s-” 

“Have you seen my sister? She called me last night a bunch of times, but I didn’t hear it. And when I went to her room no one answered,” Boone said, quickly cutting Tyler off. 

“Boone?” Your voice sounded from behind Tyler and as soon as he saw the several emotions flicker across Boone’s face, he realized he may have made a mistake. 

Boone’s gaze flickered between you sleepily sitting up in Tyler’s bed and Tyler. “Dude!” he exclaimed. “What the hell is going on here?” 

It must have registered with you too how the situation looked. You hurried out of bed and stood at Tyler’s side. “Wait, hold on-” 

“What the hell are you doing?” he said to you. “I said no funny business,” he then said to Tyler. 

“It’s not like that,” Tyler rushed out. “I know that it looks like that, but it’s not. I swear.” 

“He’s right,” you added. “It’s not. I needed a place to crash because there were bugs in my room, and you wouldn’t answer your phone. Tyler offered to let me stay in his. That’s all.” 

Boone didn’t look too convinced. He crossed his arms over his chest, blowing air from his cheeks. “You two have been making googly eyes at each other since you arrived,” Boone said. Both you and Tyler tried to defend yourself, even if Tyler hadn’t been super subtle about his ‘googly’ eyes. But Boone cut you both off with a wave of his hand. “Save it. I know both of you. You,” he pointed to Tyler. “Are the least subtle person I know. And you,” he pointed at you. “Have been talking about him since I started chasing with him.” 

Your eyes widened almost comically as you sputtered over your response. “I-I have not!” 

“Look,” Boone started, taking a deep breath. “You’re both adults. But if you’re gonna get into any funny business, for the love of the Lord himself, do not do it around me. Got it?” 

“Okay,” you answered, catching Tyler off guard. He expected you to brush your brother off and force Tyler to face the reality that you had no interest in him, but you didn’t. 

Boone looked to him for his answer. “Y-Yeah.” 

“Good,” Boone said. “We’re leavin’ in fifteen.” He turned on his heel and left the two of you in the doorway. Once he was out of earshot, a laugh sounded from your lips, a sweet sound he wasn’t expecting. 

“God, that was embarrassing,” you said, still laughing at the situation. 

Tyler couldn’t help but laugh too, closing the door and leaving the two of you alone in his motel room once more. “Is that true? You talk about me?” 

You hung your head, sheepishly and shrugged. “Maybe.” The idea of you talking about him made him feel on top of the world. “Is what he said about you true? Are you really not that subtle?” 

“I did invite you to sleep with me,” he joked, taking a step closer to you. You didn’t move away but instead closed the distance between you two even more. He searched your eyes for a sign that you were thinking the same thing he was, and when your gaze flickered to his lips for only a second, he got his confirmation. 

Tyler hooked a finger under your chin, tilting your head upwards just slightly as he leaned in. He kissed you slowly, sweetly as you hung your arms around his shoulders to bring him in even closer, the two of you pressed chest to chest. He felt you smile against his lips, a blissful feeling he didn’t to end.

[sparklystarrrr]

Madhatter!reader x riddle?👀

just imagine riddle yelling at a heartslabyul student for breaking a rule and mad hatter! reader just walk in the room rambling and showing off all the hats they made OR just saying saying random things,and riddle just standing there looking lovesick at them,making the heartslabyul student just standing there confused like:🧍

In a nutshell:

Random heartslabyul student:what do you see in that guy?

Riddle: they makes me laugh

Mad hatter!reader: I ate a glow stick today ! My love! ( ᐛ )/

I think that will be funny to write about

THAT'S ADORABLEEEE I had a good giggle while writing this, tehehe~

Hats Galore

Synopsis: There is one cure and one cure only to Riddle's monstrous temper, that being his lovely partner of course!

Contains: Riddle R. x Gn! Mad Hatter! Reader, slightly possessive/protective Riddle

The evening was a bright and sunny one, and quite calm! Almost... too calm.

Coming from the Heartslabyul living quarters, a quarrel had erupted. two boys inside the dorm had decided that they'd had enough of each other. There were objects flying everywhere, shattered glass askew on the checkered floor, furniture shoved out of position and two slightly bloody and bruised boys in the middle of a concerned circle.

The sound of heavy clicking heels shut down the screaming in the room. The circle of boys created a horse shoe shape, letting their furious and bright red faced Housewarden into the circle to assess the situation. The boys caught sight of Housewarden Riddle and instantly took their hands off of one another. They looked down in shame while Riddle stared in fury. "Excuse me. Have the rules pertaining to the Queen of Hearts rule book not made it exceedingly clear that there is absolutely NO FIGHTING IN THIS DORM."

The boys glanced at each other then flinched at Riddle's booming voice,"Rule No. 546, No fighting inside living quarters. Since you have so ruthlessly broken this rule, I have no choice but to punish you." A growling yell wrung through the once peaceful dorm. "OFF WITH YOUR HE--!!!" Riddle screamed, just about to finish his sentence before a giggly voice flew through the tense air,"Oh Riddle~ Would you like to see one of my new hats? Come come I made a new hat, yes I did!~"

It seemed like Riddle's demeanor had changed in the span of a millisecond. It was concerning to onlookers who saw his once piercing eyes softened into a fluffy marshmallow frosting on the sweetest cake when laying his eyes on the ditzy (y/n) before him."See see? This hat right here is made from only thee finest fabrics of a wild Bandersnatch I caught with my own two hands, I did!"

Riddle's face softened and melted into a warm smile while he giggled at his partner's antics,"Ah, (y/n) dear, the hat looks just as well crafted as ever. Such a talented partner I have." Watching (y/n) pop out of their room on occasion to reveal their newest hat design was Riddle's favorite parts of his day. Although for the rest of the dorm members, they found it quite odd... Not just how (y/n) acted, but... how Riddle was so deeply in love with the hatter?

They all started and glanced around with confused expressions, some stifling a giggle behind their hand. One brave soul dared to interrupt Riddle and (y/n)'s sweet moment by getting close and whispering in his ear trying to be discreet,"Uh, Housewarden Rosehearts, that's really your partner?" Riddle simply smiles, though there was an undertone of 'I'm going to kill you if you ever say that again' hiding behind his glittering grey eyes "They make me laugh, and their passion for hats is truly admirable."

"Oh Riddle, you do cause an action of my diaphragm to force air from my lungs and vibrate my vocal cords as well, haha!(that just means a laugh...)" (y/n) snorted while plopping their new hat on their head. "Come come now Riddle boy! I must make a hat for you, I plucked feathers off a dodo bird I believe you'd especially like the color of. Let us be off, yes we should!!"

(y/n) happily grabbed his gloved hand and dragged him to their room to keep him there for most likely a few days on end while they created a specially made hat just for him! Of course, the red haired boy had no complaints of the dragging and practically being held captive in his partners room. If this wasn't a sign of the hatter's devotion to him, what else could be?

[foone]

It will always be funny to me to have "the elemental plane of X", where X is absolutely not an element. Like "The elemental plane of bunny" from my magical-magician-post.

Because sure, I can imagine the idea that there's worlds that are just full of fire/water/air/earth, and this is somehow Natural and Vital to the continued existence of the world. Why not? The universe/multiverse might as well work that way.

But the idea that there's an entire dimension that's just the platonic ideal of CHEESE? Hilarious. S tier worldbuilding. More. Tell me about the inhabitants of the Elemental Plane of Swords. Hell*, get weird with it. Who says it had to be nouns for objects?

What's going on in the Elemental Plane of Treachery? The Elemental Plane of Chicago. The Elemental Plane of Language. The Elemental Plane of Next Thursday. The Elemental Plane of Yearning.

And if you can explain how any of these are needed to keep the world spinning, all the better.

I meant that metaphorically but for all I know, in your setting the reason the world spins is because of an open rift to the Elemental Plane of Rotation.

* better known as the Elemental Plane of Punishment, of course.

[takes1]

tsukishima and yamaguchi are incapable of sharing you

is this a big metaphor? maybe. i dunno. it's steamier this way. read between the lines or something. two weeks of having a cold? or covid? or the flu? idk what it was but it burnt me outttttt

warnings. suggestive, minors DNI

details. fem!reader / suggestive fluff / love triangle? love shape? / fighting over reader / unrequited crushes / suggestive touching / touch starved!tsukki / touch starved!yamaguchi / sports massage, hot / best friends / girls team!reader / sadomasochism clawed its way into my fluff fic / tsukki is transactional / boyfriend material!yamaguchi / brotherzoning, friendzoning / daichi has canon aura / 4.1k words

links. my masterlist. more haikyuu. my ao3. my imagines.

"Oh, wow--," Tsukishima's cruel and quiet snicker at your expense was inevitable. He pushed one side of his headphones off of his ear.

His brow raised in amusement at your exaggerated wobble, how you were unable to stand on your own.

Yamaguchi kept his arms stretched out for you to grab and help yourself up, a master at utilizing any excuse he could to hold you.

"Isn't this- I dunno- kind of excessive?"

He sighed, palms flat against your back as you stumbled into his chest.

He expressed no real urgency to let you go. The guy was -generally- touchy with all of his friends, so it was never worth raising any color flag over.

"We-- hah-h," You gripped his forearm when you tried to take another excruciating step on your own. You sunk to the floor so fast he didn't even think to try and catch you.

It spurred another rare, genuine laugh from Tsukishima.

You cleared your throat with some attitude, and attempted to gather your dignity before trying to get up again.

"-We did lose."

Now, especially, you could truly appreciate his tendency to help. This practice had been group punishment for losing your last big game.

Sparing the gruesome details, it left most of the first-years in horrible condition. Even the more experienced girls on the team were ambling away at a slower pace, wincing, under the weight of their own bodies and struggling to take one step down from the gymnasium.

"(Y/n)!!"

You all stiffened. That was Michimiya's voice- you thought all the upperclassmen had gone, but she popped her head out from the exit and sounded just as intimidating as usual.

"Yes ma'am?" You called, a grimace all over your face.

The two boys shifted further away. They weren't technically supposed to be here, yet, and kept their heads tilted to the floor, expecting to be scolded for not going straight home.

"Head to the training room and roll your legs out-- I need you better before Friday! You two--," She hesitated before telling them to leave, vaguely aware that you were all buddies. "Help her, please."

"Yes ma'am!!"

Just like that, she was gone. Your eyes were shining. You were needed. For the team.

"Oh my gosh..." You bit your lip.

"That's awesome!" Yamaguchi laughed, excited for you. If Daichi had told him something like that, he'd be over-the-moon happy.

Tsukishima crossed his arms, unable to relate, and now tied to this place even longer.

He didn't validate your silent request to be helped. He only came across as cruel, but his real reason was objectively worse.

Thankfully, Yamaguchi was there to fill in the gaps of his awkward, ill-timed difficulty. You smiled at his light concern, an 'okay' of sorts to let him know he could find your condition funny, too.

"Th-anks-- hh-ah... shit,"

It was so much worse now. You wished you had listened to your teammates, to not sit down ten minutes ago, no matter how much you felt like you needed to.

Tsukishima watched, hands deep in his pockets with no intention to be of free service. That sound of struggle was almost as satisfying as hearing you ask for help.

You didn't let go of his hands for a few seconds. The weight of your body was a lot to handle- you kept his palms squeezed hard in yours and were beyond grateful he stayed, unbothered by it.

They were technically tasked with getting you to the training room, but you only had faith that Yamaguchi would see it through. Tsukishima might go as far as to get on the first train home, all alone, because that's how much he hated waiting on other people.

Yamaguchi, however, shared in your experience. His eyes were bright and his smile always waiting to agree, or laugh, or ask you something.

"Can ya walk?" He giggled.

His freckled hands stayed, attentive, at your sides, as you laughed with him and tried.

Moving was doable, but only in little, shuffle-y, painful, half-steps. Your hamstrings were like guitar strings, pulled too tight from your ass to your knees, your quads as stiff as set concrete, and everything was burning hot to the touch. You worked up another sick sweat, just moving 20 steps.

The two friends shared a look as they slowed down for you. It was worse than they thought- and though they had confided in you earlier, telling you that this was normal, they weren't exactly sure anymore. They hadn't yet been pushed this hard at their own team practices (they actually won their games).

Tsukishima's chortle was mean, targeted, in nature.

"Am I gonna have to carry you?"

Your exhaustion blocked any of your usual retaliation. The suggestion was, unironically, very appealing. He had to ability to take some pain away and was 'offering.'

"Oh!" You groaned, palm on your hip after taking a few tiny steps to get to the wall, "Would you? Please?"

It caught him off guard for an imperceivable second.

He rolled his eyes, his fair skin inadequate cover for the blush you had inspired.

Yet, always the master of masking his emotions, he swung his body in the direction of the training room to evade suspicion, instead, "Hell no."

The multiuse training room was thankfully spared of any life, except for you three clowns. There wasn't even the athletic trainer, paid to stay later for hurt athletes. Most teams were finished up already and all the gear -the weights, the tires, the specialty equipment- was in its proper place.

You glanced to Tsukishima, who was second to make the connection that this was an even bigger waste of his time-- unable to take the sound of him picking on you again, you waved your hand at him, dismissive at his catty sigh.

"You can go home, Tsukki, I know you've got better things to do."

Yamaguchi smirked at the light pink that dusted the fair tips of his ears. He followed close behind you towards the mats, near the recovery gear.

'Reverse-psychology' almost always worked on him, outside of a match.

"Pff- whatever," He cleared his throat, shoving his hands even deeper into his pockets, "It's not a big deal or anything."

It was, in fact, a big deal.

You couldn't take even the softest of featherlight touches, or stretches, or damn near anything that was suggested by your teammates to try.

"You can't just give up," Yamaguchi said, softly, trying to encourage you to try the massage gun again.

"You're just being a crybaby--," Tsukishima shrugged, as if he didn't insult you, and took the thing in his hand, "If you can't do it, one of us should."

Without a second of hesitation, you swiped it from him. That thing was a weapon, with the wrong head attachment and in the hands of somebody with as little sympathy as him.

"Yamaguchi-!" You grew warm, handing it to the nicer of the two, "If- um, one of you has to do it for me. I want Yamaguchi to."

It was the most efficient tool for the job prescribed to you. Break up the lactic acid, promote healing, warm the muscle up for some stretching.

That list seemed so much simpler when pain was not part of the picture.

Having one them subject you to forced recovery was, regrettably, more doable than trying it on yourself. That didn't mean that it was easy.

Yamaguchi knelt atop your legs whilst you lay on your stomach, trying his best to ignore your pleas (as you had asked of him). He kept your leg still as he prodded the machine into your damaged tissue.

It was excruciating. Why did you play this sport?

"Stop-stopstopstop!!"

At last, your begging was met with a precious grain of sympathy. Yamaguchi looked nothing short of conflicted, unable to help without hurting you, but unwilling to let you leave without doing what needed to be done.

He gritted his teeth and looked back at you- to check if you were okay, because you weren't saying anything.

The rapid rise and fall of your ribcage was all he needed to see.

"I'm sorry- I-I can't--,"

He groaned, not knowing what to do, and set the massage gun down by your left leg.

"Oh- my- godddd." The blond boy groaned, horribly impatient in an instant.

The sound of the machine getting turned back on made you jump, but you got squished down before you could even think that there was a need to move faster.

Tsukishima sat backwards on top of you. He wasn't using his entire weight but it was enough to keep you immobile in the ways that mattered. Your muscles seized against your will at the primal realization that he was not going to be nearly as gentle or attentive.

Your shrieking become muffled in your sleeves, but it would've gone just as ignored if you hadn't taken that initiative.

"What are you doing?" Yamaguchi sighed, a bit mean and confused at how he just took over instead of talking about it first.

If he was doing something wrong, he at least wanted the chance to fix it. But that wouldn't fly in this company. Tsukishima was never the type to give people, even his best friend, that much faith.

"I wanna go home dude. I'm--,"

His pressure on the inside of your calf sent you into a full-on seize. He flew to keep your ankle to the ground with a pissed off groan and a heavy thump.

"-Getting- this done."

"You don't have to help!"

Yamaguchi was technically yelling at him, but it didn't sound like it. His voice was raised, a tiny bit louder than the massage gun, and that was about it. It was almost impossible for him to come across as angry. Maybe passive-aggressive, which was, admittedly, jarring enough.

He was met with a signature scoff but didn't back down from it. Yamaguchi had too many reasons not to shy away. If he was that bothered by staying longer, he could go home alone. The chance to hang out with you alone, not to mention the perfect opportunity to touch you, wasn't lost on either of them. Tsukishima knew about his feelings for you. Until now, it was never a topic that needed to be explicitly addressed.

Tsukishima threw a narrowed, cold look through his lashes to him.

That was oh-so-intentional, and a painful thing to process as he barks at you to stop whining so much. His hands are giant, wrapped all the way around your shins, weighing you further down so you can't kick.

You were almost getting used to it- how much it hurt- as you feel Yamaguchi settle next to you and place a reassuring hand on your back.

You're panting, hoarse and labored- you were going to thank him, but Tsukishima makes his way up to your hamstring and you flinch again with your face slammed back into your arms.

"Augh-! Dude!! Ha--Ah!"

Absolutely no remorse in his voice, "Tadashi, c'mere and hold her ankle. I can't do both."

They shared another charged glare behind your back, but Yamaguchi wasn't going to intentionally make things more difficult than they had to be. He wanted to go home too, and wanted you to feel better quicker- this was a necessary evil.

Part of your hoodie sleeve was soaking wet from where you were biting down, grimacing. You were slick with cold sweat, trembling, and could not wrap your head around how torturous this whole ordeal had become.

For a moment, just one tiny, fleeting moment, he took the machine off and you were able to gasp in a non-labored breath. He adjusted to sit on top of your butt (without asking if you were comfortable) and slipped a warm hand between your thighs to grasp your inner leg to keep you still. Yamaguchi's grip on your ankle felt after that- harder.

The pleasant sensation it sent down into your tummy became quickly interrupted by the worst of it.

"Mm-h-!!" You groaned into your clothes.

"Ohh- yeah, you're fucked," Tsukishima laughed in shock at how he could feel the tension, the spasms, under the skin once he placed that godforsaken thing back onto you.

You mostly blocked the rest of the experience out of your mind- it was nauseating, and long, and arduous. Tsukishima made no efforts to make the process any easier by asking you what you wanted, if you needed a break, or if you were okay.

It made the last of it that much sweeter. The training room was quiet, again, once the buzzing was gone.

"That should do it," He muttered, pushing the heel of his palm down the now compliant, though aching, muscle of your hamstring. It was practically mindless.

"Y-eah-," Yamaguchi rolled his eyes at the shameless display.

Tsukishima glanced at him. He cleared his throat and pinched you, just for good measure, then decided for you, "Yeah, that feels better."

You rolled your cloudy eyes just to yourself, unable to lift your head from your weak arms.

"Okay! Jeez! Get off of me."

Another ill-intentioned snicker was almost enough to make you look back. It, instead, only motivated you to tense up your shoulders.

"Did you forget that you have a second leg?"

Yamaguchi would've laughed with him, had he not been so pissed off that he was getting- for lack of a better word here- cucked.

Barely able to peel your chest up off of the ground, you huffed and pushed the stagnant tears from your face.

"You are not doing that again!"

It was another way of saying that you couldn't take it, which, in his twisted mind, was reason enough to smile. He had to adjust himself pretty plainly in front of his freckled, grumpy friend before getting off of you.

You rolled, heavy and slow, onto your back, and didn't spare him any looks. You spoke to the ceiling. "I'll do my own calf. Tadashi,"

His face was softer, attentive, at how you sighed his name. Every word afterward was a lot sweeter, lighter, than the ones that were meant for Tsukishima.

"You get my other hamstring. I can't reach it."

Now 'unemployed,' Tsukishima reclined against his bag, pushed his headphones up, and played on his phone.

You flipped back onto your tummy and pulled down on the hem of your shorts, for some bit of decency. All it did was make Yamaguchi's eyes wander. Tsukishima had already been stealing crystal clear glances.

Those practice shorts left little to the imagination, especially hiked up the way you liked to wear them for training. It did not go underappreciated in this group.

Yamaguchi tried not to stare- he really, really tried. His eyes were bouncing back and forth between where to adjust over you, and where he desperately wanted to cop a feel. It's just that you were turned around, with no way of knowing, and there was nothing too wrong with looking.

Neither of them were bold enough to bring up that your glutes -realistically- were the most worked muscle group that needed to be attended to.

Yamaguchi mirrored his hand placement to where Tsukishima had done it, earlier. He was not prepared at how intimate it felt at all, because his friend had given zero indication that it was such a big deal.

You flinched at the contact even though it was hundred times softer than you had been touched earlier. His palm was unsure, and varied in firmness as he tried to palm your thigh the 'right' way. You were grateful nobody -especially that blond idiot- could see how embarrassed you were, as you buried the side of your face harder into your clothes.

"I'm gonna try to be less gentle- so," He lost his train of thought, captivated in the sight of your softness filling the gaps of his long, tanned fingers, "Um... yeah."

Not-gentle was a good way to describe that massage gun on your stiff leg. But it wasn't a stabbing pain, like how forcefully and suddenly Tsukishima had started.

And yet, you couldn't help the reflex to bend at the knee, and almost nailed him with a powerful kick.

"A-ah! Sorry--," You couldn't quite get the apology out, between gritted teeth.

Since Tsukishima had been too busy peeking out of the corner of his eye to admire the space between your legs, the curve of your ass, and all the shaking, he was quick to grab that free ankle and pin it down.

They shared a mutually surprised expression behind you that, if anything, helped ease their nasty, competitive, and degrading attitudes.

Yamaguchi's face was very warm, his legs, his grip, had to be readjusted-- his fingers felt indescribably good in the midst of so much discomfort. He put more of his weight on you, having underestimated how much you might throw him off.

Neither of the two were saints, but if it were a competition, Yamaguchi at least tried to repress things.

He wanted to be seen as good, as nice, and sweet. Getting brother-zoned all the time sucked but at least it spoke to his positive qualities.

Tsukishima did not care all that much about looking like a good person. Being 'cool' was different, and just as performative, but still, different. He had less internal struggle when it came to checking you out behind your back; his only worry was getting caught, because it made him look interested. Being interested, to Tsukishima, was worse than being a 'nice guy.'

All that to say: He pushed your ankle a bit further to the outside, craning his neck to see just how much those safety shorts actually covered down there.

If he could get Yamaguchi to move his hand out of the way--

"You're doin' it wrong," He sighed, sounding flat- bored, even though he wasn't.

You spared Yamaguchi the responsibility of responding to him.

"You're- ahh- ridiculous, Kei. Fucking-- ridiculous."

His nose wrinkled at your assertion that he could possibly be wrong, "The fact that you can talk is evidence enough."

That made your face multiple degrees hotter, and kept you biting a rude reply into your shirt- it pissed your nicer friend off, on your behalf.

"Dude, shut up," Yamaguchi mumbled.

It was ironically something that sounded like it would come out of Tsukishima's mouth, in tone and phrase. He could've told either of you to shut up at any given moment, on any given day, and it wouldn't be a big deal. Coming from Yamaguchi, though--

The blond stiffened, his mouth curled into an absurd grin, but his eyes were fixed and brutal behind his glasses.

All the implications under their words, their jagged tones, were so plain and out in the open. To them. You remained disadvantaged, partially deaf (from the loud massage gun) and mostly blind (turned around), still preoccupied with your physical inability to stay on their conversational level or that emotional space.

To you, they were only trying to help, and the situation had not degraded so much.

You were busy thinking about how Tsukishima could not have been more wrong about Yamaguchi's 'technique.' The pressure had grown, making for a more intense experience than before, with all the new compensation.

An awful, bitter comeback was on the tip of Tsukishima's tongue.

"Woah!" A new voice, one you didn't quite recognize, was at the entrance to the training room, "What're you three still doing here? It's late!"

"Daichi!" Yamaguchi sighs, breathless, for a couple of different reasons.

You winced at his weird readjustment on top of you- and the terrible, sinking feeling that this was inappropriate and semi-public.

Was there no safe place for a bunch of underclassmen to hang out anymore? Since when did the seniors linger for this long? They usually were the some of first out the door, and the guys' team had been done for almost an hour, now.

His grip softens, flittering away, for a moment. A rush of strength finds his legs and he's safely hovering, instead of sitting, on you.

"Oh! Taking turns with the gun? Man-," Even his laugh is leader-like, all punctuated and deep, "Must be pretty bad, huh?"

When he clocks that their captain isn't there to scold, he keeps one palm safely on the mat, instead.

"Do you--," You push yourself up to your elbows again with a groan and a scrunched up face. It helps, to reiterate that this is not some kind of debauchery, "-Have any advice?"

Daichi was there to return some gear. He placed a bag on the table closest to the door, then hung up some keys. All that you could think was how responsible he looked.

He hummed aloud to himself, "Advice...?"

Yamaguchi slowly moved off of you, so as to not look suspicious, but his nervous demeanor always made him look a little bit guilty of something. You waved off his soft apology in favor of staring, curious, at the new presence.

You were able to roll over to your back and sit up, with marked effort- then stilled as their team captain joined your spot on the mats.

He took a second to look between all three of you, face impossible to read, then seemed to recognize you.

"You must be that rookie Yui was talking about," He doesn't realize how important that off-handed statement means to you, "It's nice to meet ya."

"You too," Your voice was ghostly soft, eyes wide, when he sat down to take you through some handy stretches.

His team jacket looks really worn in. His thighs are giant from years of playing. He knows what he's talking about. And your two idiot friends are silent, for once, so he must be super cool. You listen very carefully.

"So, if it's just soreness that you're dealing with, what you wanna do is--,"

"Man-," Tsukishima mutters, an incomprehensible 'What the fuck,' under his breath at those stupid puppy dog eyes you were giving their team captain. Great.

He threw a glance to Yamaguchi- his face was all screwed up, pissed off, too. They looked at each other with mutual, gloomy attitude.

Little did they understand that Daichi could've broken this up in a less civil way if he deemed them as any less credible in their actions.

It was their 'harmlessness' that kept them spared from a talking-to.

You were slower to understand that you were infatuated. As your long-time friends, they often read you quicker than you could understand your own emotions. It had been three minutes since the last time you blinked, and you didn't realize it, yet.

His stretches, and little tidbits of advice, rang familiar but more memorable than the second-year's recovery tips from the end of your practice.

"Thank you," You muttered, uncharacteristically quiet.

Tsukishima rolled his eyes so far back, so slow, that Daichi caught it.

"Of course! Happy to help."

You watched the incredible lines in his legs dance as he stood up and briefly wondered if he had ever suffered like this, before. Surely the answer was yes.

"Well-- It's great seeing you all take care of each other. Hang onto that!" Daichi kept one last, somewhat reminiscent, look on the three of you, and was on his way to the door.

"Oh-,"

You shivered, holding yourself as he turned around.

"Make sure to lock up when you're done!"

When he was gone, the door fully shut, you collapsed onto your back with a dreamy sigh. Yamaguchi was the first to stand up.

He was disappointed that you were so easy to impress, yes, but otherwise unfazed.

"You guys wanna go get something to eat?"

Tsukishima got to his feet, too, and had his bag slung at the ready-- usually not so food-motivated, but he was starving, at this point. The sun was low in the window. You nodded at the great idea.

Head still tilted to the closed door, you asked, "Does- uh, does he... have a girlfriend?"

Yamaguchi avoided your eyes, an easy task at his height, and took both of your hands to lift you to your feet. It was solely out of curiosity. He was so out of your league.

Tsukishima rattled off a blatant and well-done lie.

"Yeah. He's dating Michimiya- you didn't know that?"

It helped to cushion your feelings. You nodded, smiling at the way Yamaguchi kept you steady again with his hands in yours.

"Ohh, right. Right. That makes sense."

☆VIP☆

@integers @paradoxicalwritings @yuchacco @megapteraurelia

my masterlist. more haikyuu

[spankerella]

[forestshadow-wolf]

Soap as an expert sniper and demolition technician getting loaned to a different team for 4 months. It's light work, easy as could be. But the CO is an idiot, a moron with no idea what he's doing, and soap doesn't know how he got so far.

Someone makes a crude joke about soap needing to be muzzled about a week and a half into stay away from home when he's angrily objected in a mission briefing. And the CO finds it endlessly hilarious. Soap can laugh it off easy enough, and it is funny at first. Sure it gets old after a while, but again, it's easy enough to brush off.

Until he can't brush it off. Until he objects one too many times and this CO tosses an actual fucking muzzle on the table like he's a dog, and he cackles when he makes soap put it on. It's a punishment tactic. The humiliation. Soap's experience it may times. And put the most wild of greenies feel it just the same. But never this far. Never of this severity for days, weeks, months at a time. And the harder he fights it. The more he objects, to anything, the worse it gets. A leash and collar to make him follow the CO around when he's been "bad".

By the time he gets back to home base they still haven't removed the muzzle, and he can't pick the lock with the angle it sits on his head. He offloads onto the tarmac with dull eyes and an overgrown mohawk, collar and leash not on but held tight in his fist.

Ghost's eyes get hard as soon as he sees soap's adornments. What is the meaning of this. The disrespect to himself to adjust his Sergeant. The disrespect to Soap for even the mere thought of what's been done. He wants to take a minute alone to get that tool off his Sergeant's face, but the delay may land a punishment on soap.

Ghost turns when soap gets near enough, and soap knows enough about the man to follow him. As expected he finds himself a meeting room with the remaining two of the 141 and laswell on a video call to assess the success of his deployment. All their eyes snap to the mess of metal and leather on his face

And price's voice has an edge to it when he asks for a report. He's lucky he had the foresight to have it all typed up and he slides his phone over to Gaz for the man to read it aloud. Gaz. He trusted gaz. He's know how to say what he meant, wouldn't omit the words the seemed useless, wouldn't have to stop to control the violence in his voice.

And when Gaz gets finished reading his report Price lets the silence sit for a minute. Dismisses them for half an hour so he can collect himself. Tells Ghost to "get that thing off him"

Gaz leaves almost faster than the words leave the captain's mouth, and soap wants to go after him. But even more than that, his fingernails are starting to itch again with the need to claw the muzzle off his face. And he's at his limit of resisting that urge. So he lets ghost chase him to his room. Follows Ghost's direction to sit down. To stay still. He trembles from his neck to his head and he can't make it stop as Ghost works. The lock isn't a complicated system, but it's tight and it takes more than a little force to get the pins to turn. And soap can't stop bouncing his leg, and it annoys him to no end. And he thinks he may throw up. Or explode. Or scream. Or die, maybe.

And then he feels the mechanism click, and Ghost pries the offending piece of equipment off him. And he breathes. He can actually breathe.

And then he retches. Accidentally. Nothing comes up. He swallows the nausea. Forces it back down.

But ghost is already hovering face infront of his own, bucket placed between his knees. He meets Ghost's wildly concerned eyes but he retches again. Into the bucket he spits thick spittle and nothing else with his eyes clenched, and he's vaguely aware that Ghost is talking to him, but he doesn't know what he's saying.

He lets out a shakey breath, his stomach churns but he doesn't think it'll happen again. He hopes. Ghost cradles his jaw, massaging it gently, and Soap leans into the touch. Ghist has him, he said so, and Soap trusts Ghost. He feels sick. Wrong. But Ghost, he feels right.

Ghost makes him feel right. Makes him feel better. Makes him feel-

Gaz his mind reminds him. He needs to find Gaz

"We have to-" he smacks his lips. The words feel unnatural now, "- Gaz."

"Gaz?" Ghost looks at him like he's lost his damn mind. And he did. He had. But he's all better now. And Gaz isn't. Gaz is his best fucking friend and he's not okay. He saw the horror in his eyes when he bolted fro. The meeting room.

"He's- we have to find him. He's being sick right now."

Realization seems to pass over Ghost's face, and he helps Soap up.

He doesn't know how long they have before they're meant to be back in that meeting room, but it's probably not long. And Soap knows that if Gaz had his way he'd show up exactly on time and he'd say nothing. He likes to suffer alone. And Soap gets it. He really really does. But Gaz never lets him suffer alone, and Soap won't let Gaz do so either.

His first instinct is to bang his fist on Gaz's door until he opens up, but gaz had left the *other* way to the opposite side of base. And the bathrooms were all to easy to be walked in on. And the next obvious direction was... outside. And dread shoots down his spine. Spring had come and with it, spring showers. And the sky wept. And kyle was out there.

Soap doesn't hesitate as he bolts put into the rain. He's out here somewhere. But soap can barely see two feet infront of him, and Gaz could be in about six different places — and that's just off the top of his head. But there's no time like the present, and no way to starts without action. He heads for the closest spot. He's soaked to the bone almost immediately, and Ghost is making it no easier by trying to convince him to go back inside. He's not behind the main building nor in the laundry rooms. There's a vacant spot on the noot between the armory and the motorpool too. The come up empty after the offices and Ghost decides he no longer has a choice, picking him up and carrying him back inside when they have judt enough time to towel off and change before they're called back to the meeting. And Gaz will be there. Without a doubt.

Exactly on time when they arrive is Gaz. Except he looks... fine. He's not.. and soap still feels like a wet cat. But he's too busy wrapping his arms around Gaz to care.

"Tav."

"Kyle. The rain- I-"

"I know, Tav. I didn't. I didn't." Soap sags just a little more into him. Gaz pushes at his shoulder, "let me see you."

Soap allows it. Lets Gaz grab his face. Turn it this way and that., "better like this." Gaz tells him as he lets him go.

Price still looks like murder when they walk in, but now it's closer to first degree than it is manslaughter. Laswell's face is hard set on the screen and there are documents pulled up next to her.

"Soap. Sitrep."

"They used me like a fucking tool, Captain." Soap was angry now. And it felt good. And Price always liked when he was angry. Said it meant his head was in the game, and they didn't always agree, but Price never shut him up.

"You got a bad habit of finding shitty COs, Son."

"Not you though."

Price gave him a thorough once over and nodded. "Laswell."

"John, that CO you got sent to has had a lot of dirt swept under the rug. It's bordering on treason. Lots and lots of complaints, harassment — lots of it — most of it physical, abuse of power, disregard of human life, and 'suspicious activity' — no notes on what that means."

[fleurvi]

Omg could you do their reactions to their s/o having a Diva attitude

Attitude | Arcane x reader

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characters: ambessa, caitlyn, grayson, mel, sevika, vi

cw: caitlyns and sevika's are suggestive

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Ambessa Medarda

You better get your shit together. Ambessa doesn't have the time or patience for this attitude. If it's aimed at someone else, she rolls her eyes and lets you get on with it, but she will not tolerate it if it's directed at her. She demands respect from everyone, and that includes her partner.

“You better fix that attitude before your mouth gets you in trouble.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Caitlyn Kiramman

Caitlyn is turned on by it at first, but she can't tolerate it for long. Caitlyn is very short tempered, and your attitude will just rile her up and cause an argument between the two of you. If it's directed at someone else though, she's all for it. She likes watching you tell someone else off.

“You're so frustrating, but you're so hot when you argue with me.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Grayson

Are you insane? Don't even attempt to get away with an attitude. She's not as patient as she seems. She has absolutely zero tolerance for your divatude. How you conduct yourself in public reflects her. If you dare direct that attitude towards her, it's either take a punishment or go somewhere else.

“You better watch your mouth before I take matters into my own hands and teach you some manners.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Mel Medarda

Mel finds it amusing when it's not directed at her. Your sharp tongue excites her, and she feels inclined to back you up when need be. She'll always indulge and let you complain. However, if you try and sass her, it will result in an insult so subtle yet accurate that it lingers in the back of your head for the next week. She doesn't appreciate being on the receiving end of your bullshit. Overall though, she enjoys your attitude. She likes that you don't let people walk all over you.

“That's funny, Baby. I can't believe you said that to her.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Sevika

I genuinely think Sevika would be amused by it. She's a scary, tough woman and is completely unphased by your attitude. If it's directed at someone else, she'll stand behind you like a guard dog daring the object of your sass to argue back and give her a reason to fight. She likes it even more when directed at her; your fiery, combative attitude turns her on. She likes a bit of natural competition.

“Oh yeah? you wanna keep talking to me like that? Keep going, baby. We'll see if you can keep this attitude up when I've got you bent over.”

✩♬ ₊˚.✂️⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Vi

Another one who finds it endearing. Except, unlike Sevika, Vi prefers watching you direct your attitude at other people. There's something about watching you verbally take someone down or give a nasty eye roll that riles her up. When it is directed at her, she's not intimidated; she can't stop thinking about kissing you to shut you up.

“Don't worry, baby, that guy totally deserved it.”

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my requests are open!

thank you for reading!

[katyakurae]

Bloom into my chest - fancomic masterpost

Summary:

The punishments Heaven imposes on the damned are many and quite colorful. They depend on the crimes sinners committed in their days on Earth, the ones which leads them towards Hell, but also depend on their emotions. In some cases, even on their luck.

Alastor curses his damn luck.

Among the punishments there is a particularly funny one: a disease. A plague, as some call it, which revolves around two factors. Whether the sinner is in love and whether his love is reciprocated or not. If that tiny tragedy happens (a sinner falls in love, but the demon object of their affection does not reciprocate) then he will start coughing up flowers and blood. A beautiful, terrible and incurable disease, capable of causing death hundreds of times. None, fortunately or not, permanent.

Alastor has caused several sinners to become victims of this disease. There are many who cough up red lilies because of the Radio Demon. The most notorious case was Vox, although his illness stopped when Alastor disappeared for seven years.

One day, a terrible day, at the Hazbin Hotel, Alastor finds himself vomiting white roses. But Lilith's orders, his queen, holder of his soul, prevent him from leaving the hotel, Charlie and above all...

Lucifer.

Chapters:

Chapter 1: White Rose

Chapter 2: The Disease

Chapter 3: Next to die

Chapter 4: These are your orders

Chapter 5: The Fall

Chapter 6: Again and again

Chapter 7: Torn

Chapter 8: I can’t run but I can’t stay by your side

Chapter 9: He can love us both

Chapter 10: Back in black

Chapter 11: Red lilies

Chapter 12: Video killed the Radio Star

Chapter 13: Kill me slowly

Chapter 14: Stiches

Extras:

Niffty's PoV

Lucifer's pain

Under Lilith's care

Death's embrace