#of gender when it comes to mental illnesses. but instead they made it so she killed a man for 'assaulting?' her after she tried to defend -

[dreamyinwriting]

Whatever I’m still living in the (better) alternate universe where Do Hae-soo was the accomplice

[harbingerscry]

Laswell Relationship HCs

There isn't enough romance content with Kate and I'm here to add my two cents because fuck me, I love her. (Deleted 2 sentences of me simping). Anyways, for all intensive purposes we (you) are sliding into that, so far, nameless/faceless spot of her wife. I will keep this gender neutral (by avoiding pronouns) as usual but this will obviously be someone with a female body.

PS: I'm well aware all I'm doing are relationship HCs right now but it's because I'm having more fun than intended making them.

WARNING: This contains NSFW content and allusions to mental illness. (PTSD in particular)

You remember the day you and Kate met clearer than you do most things. It was snowing that night, and your mind had been riddled with virulent thoughts that threatened to consume what little peace you felt. Sitting within the numbing silence of your apartment would only make it worse, so you chose to walk to your favorite bar instead. Facing lady winter head on was better than losing yourself to phantoms that refused to be silent. Plus, after working two doubles in a row in the ICU you definitely deserved a drink or two at least.

You can't recollect much of the walk there, you hardly remember entering the bar and ordering. The world had just started coming back to life around you when a, at that time, unknown woman's voice piped up. "Rough night?" It felt like someone had flicked on the light switch when you heard the question. It wasn't the bartender that asked it, but instead the dirty blonde sitting next to you. She looked around the same age as you, which brought comfort to you in a way you couldn't explain at that moment. "Something like that, you?" Her eyes seemed to twinkle a little as her lips lifted into a half smile. "Similar." The answer had unintentionally made you smile in return. Never before had you believed in love at first sight, but the moment you looked into those blue eyes it felt like the world suddenly has color for the first time in years.

You did end up asking Kate eventually why she spoke to you that night. She could have easily ignored you, especially now that you know just how private she is. The first time you asked she said it was because she recognized the haunted look in your eyes, which is partly true. It was later revealed that she also felt that same way as you, that it was love at first sight.

Your mental health since the beginning has always been a concern for Kate. Even before you started officially dating she was the one sending you reminders of your appointments with your psychiatrist and asking you how they went and how you were feeling. It was refreshing to have someone take care of you for once, even if in a normal relationship it would be small but normal thing.

When you first met you had been heading towards a low you're not sure you would have made it out of looking back. It's funny what love and care can do. You still struggle from time to time but it has never reached a point you couldn't handle now. When it does all you have to do is call Kate or, if she's home, hug her and ask her to hold you as you ground yourself to the here and now.

It took roughly two months into your relationship for Kate to say 'I love you' for the first time. It wasn't because she didn't before you started dating, in fact it was love at first sight! She was just a little hesitant to drop that 'bomb', completely unaware to the fact you felt the exact same way. It was a year and a half later that she proposed to you, a few weeks shy of your two year anniversary.

The two of you were giggling like a couple of school girls in the middle of a restaurant. A couple glasses of wine really did wonders on getting both of you to loosen up after a hard week at work. You weren't entirely sure why you were there though. Kate had just insisted it was just a normal date night but this place was a little fancier than your normal 'hangout' spots. "I actually have a really important question to ask you." Your eyebrows raised slightly in confusion, mostly because you have no idea what the question is and your anxiety is threatening to bubble up. Did she find your new erotic novels? Did she find the new toy you had hidden in the back of your nightstand as a surprise? Oh God. Before your thoughts spiraled any further Kate reached into her bag and pulled out a black velvet box. Immediately your heart stopped in your chest as warmth began to spread across your cheeks. "(Y/n), I have loved you from the moment I met you and that love only continues to grow every day. You have been with me despite both our hectic schedules and jobs, and every time I wake up with you beside me I feel like I'm the luckiest woman in the world. You are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, will you marry me?" She opened the box to reveal the prettiest ring you had ever laid eyes on. You could barely contain the grin on your face as you smiled, eyes twinkling in endearment and glee. "Yes Kate. The answer will always be yes."

Despite her hectic schedule and work taking her to other countries sometimes, she always tries to make time for you. Even if it's a small text or phone call, you even have her work number in case of emergency. At least if it's her work phone she can tell others it's really important and they won't bat an eye when she steps out to answer your call. Video chat was strictly for when she was completely alone and in a safe place. She didn't want you to see if something bad happened or risk you two getting caught doing....explicit things.

Speaking of explicit, let's talk about y'all's sex life. You're both switches but Kate is most definitely the primary dom in this relationship. The woman could spend hours toying with you, hearing your whines and moans turns her on to the point her arousal is soaking through her panties if she's not already undressed. The whole time she's doing it praises are leaving her lips on how good you're being and how well you're taking it.

"So good for me baby, shit-" Kate wasn't usually this vocal but being away for almost two weeks had left her sexually frustrated and touch starved. Luckily as soon as she was home she had the best remedy ready and waiting for her in bed, you. Right now you had your face buried in her cunt like it was a three course mean, and fuck was it a beautiful sight the way, your face was covered in a mixture of slick and drool from your messy eating. It was more than obvious how much you'd missed her too. One particularly strong suck to her clit nearly had her cumming. "O-Oh fuck, stop, baby, want to cum with you." Kate gave your hair a gentle tug as she gasped out her soft command. That's all it took for you to stop and look up at her with the neediest eyes she'd ever seen. "Need more of you Kate~" You were in a headspace she knew all too well, and it was going to be a long night.

Kate will never admit it but one of the main reasons she asked you to go part-time once you were married is because she loves coming home to find you napping on the couch or in bed. Simply for the fact she can lay on top of you and decompress by means of face planting into your chest. Even if you're up and about instead, she'll pull you to her and hold you like a teddy bear. Usually you get the gist of what she needs and pull her to the couch for snuggles.

PDA with Kate is much like Price. Lots of hand, thigh, and hip holding for the most part with the occasional kiss to the head or cheek. This is out of respect for you and your boundaries, and her own. If you give her the green light though she's happy to slip her hand into your pants and finger fuck you. If she's feeling spicy she'll sit there all night and tease you through your clothes until you're begging her to go home, promising you'll be good for her in that desperate whiney tone that she adores.

It really didn't take much to have your panties soaked and Kate loved every bit of it. You had wanted to go see a movie and she was happy to go with! But she quickly lost interest in it so it was only natural she found her own form of entertainment. "Kaaaate.." Your breathy little whine was music to her ears as she traced the outline of your pussy through your leggings. She'd barely been teasing you for 10 minutes and she could feel a spot forming from your slick soaking through. "Yes honey?" She leaned towards you in a manner anyone else would see as both of you having a whispered conversation. Her only response from you was a whimper as one of your hands cupped the back of hers, keeping it right where it was between your thighs. "Hm?" She hummed in mock question as her hand changed it's position, her thumb pressing right on your clit and rubbing it through the layers of clothes. You had never been happier that theater movies were as loud as they were, or else someone would have heard the moan you tried your damnedest to suppress.

Okay, away from the horny talk...for now. Kate isn't a cheap person by any means but she also isn't about to drop a ridiculous amount of money on something that may not be worth it. Quality and sentiment are two huge things for her in both giving and receiving gifts. Which is why the woman has kept every handmade bracelet and gift you've made her. She gets one from you every birthday and Christmas along with all the bought gifts. She treasures them with all her heart because you made it with her in mind.

She does eventually introduce you to Price by inviting him over for dinner. It went great in your book, he, much like Kate, couldn't say much about work though. Which was fine, at least he was a gentleman and now you knew she worked with someone capable. Plus, you loved asking him questions about the UK and some other countries he admitted to visiting. Kate loved seeing your eyes light up in excitement and curiosity. It made her decide what she was getting you for your birthday. (It was two tickets to Italy and her approval paper for time off.)

Overall, you have a very happy and healthy relationship. Sure you have minor disagreements on the rare occasion, but one of you will eventually realize you were being stubborn or mean and apologize. Communication is an important key to any relationship and luckily you're both able to sit and talk things out when it's needed. She loves every piece of you, even the pieces you deemed broken.

[jackiezenauthor]

Maria's fairytale ending

Context that led to the creation of this story here

Thank you @laurasimonsdaughter for the inspiration and support.

Special thanks to my two fairy friends who endured through proofreading and editing with me, blessing us all with precious advice such as cutting off the suspension points that I so much love dropping everywhere in my writing.

Story and art by Jackie Zen (me)

Trigger warning:

people and a dragon getting very hurt at some point

no nsfw

magic and sorcery

author liberties (tried to stick to russian fairytale lore as much as possible but I'm not sure about the bird)

Maria’s fairytale ending

„This was the first completed sculpture that this artist ever made.” he explained, pointing at a crude representation of maybe a bear, maybe a pig? Maria walked around, trying to figure it out. „And the first piece of my own hoard” he said proudly. He went on explaining about the stone itself, the complicated nature of sculpting in it and how young and absolutely confused the artist was when he offered an entire silver coin for it.

She watched him over the little statue’s pedestal. He was just as handsome as the first day she’d seen him, across the fire lake conjured for her and her brother’s safety. Unlike the Bear King, this man could have easily flown over the flames on his own. She was certain now that he knew the fire was an illusion. But he hadn’t... he’d just kept showing up every time she’d walk around the banks, trying to strike up conversation from afar...

In truth, that had been the wiser choice. Aside from his dashing human looks, his true shape, and the one he could fly in, sported a rather intimidating bouquet of heads. Each overflowed with fangs and horns, each able to spit some terrifying element, from fire to what looked like acid... Her heart would have abdicated, no question, if he’d just plopped right there, on her side of the bank, from the very start.

„Am I going in too much detail?” he paused, noticing her glance.

She had indeed lost focus for a second, but that was because he’d mentioned minerals and tools that she’d never heard of before. She already had a mental note to hit his library and look them up later.

A man-sized statue with many hands framed him from behind, sculpted so skillfully that she found herself expecting it to come to life at any moment. The sculptor’s name under it was the same as for the little nondescript animal they had been looking at.

„No, just enjoying the view...” she smiled. „I knew that your kind loved collecting things, but I had no idea how much meaning each of them holds...”

„Let me know when you tire, however...” he grinned, his back just a bit straighter, reaching for her waist. „I hear that your kind is rather short on patience...”

„You’re one to talk...” she scoffed, playfully. „This would have been maybe a day’s wait, at most, if you just waited for my brother to return...” she brazenly moved her hand in his general direction.

If she were anywhere but here, it would have been seen as outrageously improper. Instead, as soon as she started acting and speaking appropriately for her upbringing and gender, he’d started fretting about her health, as if she was hallucinating thanks to some illness. She was getting used to speaking her mind clearly, as of late. Saved her from being fed all the questionably healthy concoctions he kept bringing in, and she was starting to enjoy it too. 

„I still don’t get why I’m supposed to ask anyone other than you...” he snorted, gently brushing the edge of her chin. “It’s not like I’m marrying your bother.” he rolled his eyes ever so slightly…

„Still not married...” she giggled, putting her palm between their lips, as he leaned over to steal a kiss.

He’d been growing rather impatient in the past few days. While he did put up with her human traditions, it wasn’t without grumbling. In truth, she was starting to have second thoughts about keeping up with this too. After all, even with Ivan’s blessing, what priest or church would even agree to marry her to a dragon to begin with? Would money really make a difference? Despite being the Tsar, not ever her uncle would be caught alive publicly blessing a union like theirs…

Her brother was supposed to have arrived by now, she’d even left him a note... a bit rushed, true, but still... What was he doing?

The dragon kissed the line between her fingers and her palm instead, his breath warming the little space between them, making her question all human rites and traditions, and her own sanity along with them, as their eyes inevitably met. Her heart challenged the spirits of thunder, deafening against her ears.

“You really should wear more rings…” he purred.

She found herself questioning whether that thing called ‘virtue’ was really worth keeping… it was becoming harder and harder to remember what that word even meant, lately…

A loud knock restored sovereignty to her head… not without her heart kicking and screaming about it first.

“What is it?” he asked, his voice oscillating between pleasant and annoyed.

“There is a matter requiring your attention, at the gates…” a servants voice broke through the closed doors, just as Maria slipped out of his arms, straightening her dress.

Nobody was allowed in his hoard room without explicit permission which, according to the maids, had never been given. Everyone was supposed to speak clearly too, however, which was a bigger challenge for the newest hires, of which, currently, there was just one.

“Dmitry?” he sighed, heading for the doors.

“My liege!” the soldier bowed as he stepped out.

“Speak!” he commanded. “Use all of your words!”

Dmitry dared a glance towards Maria, who was just about to reach the door as well: if this matter required him to leave the room, visiting was clearly done for today.

“It shouldn’t take long…” the dragon turned as he noticed her approach as well. “You can look around some more if you want, tell me if you have any favorites.” he smiled sweetly, trying her heart again. “Maria, my love, all that is mine, is also yours…” he added before she could argue, her name sounding magical in his voice.

“We’re not married yet…” Maria sighed, irked at how she still had no name to call him by. It was so odd, referring to him as ‘the dragon’, but it was impossible for her human throat and mouth to reproduce the sound that he declared as his name. Despite his excitement at having her choose a name herself, she just couldn’t think of any that did him justice… All the names she could think were simply… not good enough.

He grumbled something about human customs again. As far as he was concerned, the entire event had already happened, when he asked her for a bridge to reach and marry her, and she cast said bridge. He’d even brought up crossing that bridge on his own two human feet, as if the sturdiness of her magic hold somehow matched her resolve. And she had to admit, she’d never cast anything as sturdy in her life before.

For a construction cast entirely out of a towel, it not only held, but it could have easily been mistaken for something built under the Tsar’s architects. If only she could brag to anyone about it too… Other than her nanny, who had taught her the basics and was still at the Tsar’s castle, nobody cared to listen… especially not Ivan.

The dragon had been the first man in her life not needing to be babied about her magical abilities. Even with her own brother, she had to give a nearby ox a voice and make it claim to be doing all the saving and the conjuring. If he would have thought even for a second that it was her casting, he’d have just surrendered to the Bear King right away…

Ivan never saw her as anything but a dainty little sister who needed protection against the entire world. Had he not gone out to hunt every other day, she might have ended up locked in the hut in the middle of the lake for God knew how long… Every time, she’d wait until he left before unlocking her room and going out exploring, up until the dog started wagging its tail, anticipating his return… Heaven forbid, him ever catching her talking to a man, too, even with the acre of lake between them… She was grateful for the care, but it really was too much, sometimes… Maybe, now that she was marrying a dragon, he’d finally get the peace to focus on his own duties as a prince.

“There is a man at the gates.” the soldier spoke again as the dragon motioned him to. “He is rather angry about something, or someone, being stolen from him… He’s also rambling about some dog?”

Maria perked up. This had to be Ivan.

“About time!” the dragon cheered up as well! “Let him in, treat him with most care, make sure his room is cleaned again and have the cook fire up the ovens and crack open the barrels, he knows which! We’re celebrating tonight!”

“He looks rather… hostile…” the soldier said, conflicted.

“Ah, yes… I’ve left room for some misunderstandings, apparently…” the dragon laughed drily.

“Let me talk to him first…” Maria offered. “I’m sure that he’ll calm down once he knows I’m safe and well.”

“Of course, my love. I’m sure you’re eager to catch up with him too. I will apologize for the matter with the key myself, however. It had been rather unnecessary of me to do that, indeed…” he nodded, then paused for a second before turning to the guard again. “Did he bring the dog along?”

He hadn’t…

That made for one less thing to fret over as they headed for the castle yard, to greet their long-awaited guest. They started with almost a skip in their step, but it gradually wore off as the reality of the situation dawned on them… There was plenty to regret, on both ends, about how they’ve left that hut in the middle of the lake… Hopefully, Ivan would be willing to listen…

…

He wasn’t.

As they stepped outside, the atmosphere crashed hard on them. Not only was Ivan refusing all hospitality, but he kept his sword unsheathed, glaring at whomever would dare even shift their weight towards him. His expression only changed once he noticed Maria, but even then, it was short lived, as his eyes fell on the dragon.

He wasted no time before rushing him with his sword.

“I don’t think this is helping…” Maria held onto the dragon on pure instinct as he grabbed her and jumped away from Ivan’s slicing blade. “Let me go to him! He won’t harm me.”

“You go to him once his sword is sheathed and no earlier.” the dragon hissed, moving once again away from Ivan’s reach. “I have never seen a reasonable man behave this way, and I will not risk your life like that.”

The guards moved to block her brother, but he shook them off easily: he was a skilled swordsman, after all. It did give the dragon time to shift, however, and carry her to what he considered safety, which, in typical dragon fashion, was a tower… all the way in the southern garden.

“Throw this at him!” she handed him her handkerchief as he went to face her brother once more. She had no time to explain what it would do. A cry of pain let them know that Ivan had started hurting the people in his way, and the dragon took off in a rush.

She watched him fly away, his seven heads bumping into each other, as if having a disagreement, which they probably did… It was something that she had yet to wrap her only head around: how he could function as one person, in human shape, and seven minds, as a dragon. They all seemed to agree that they liked her, but she wasn’t sure if they also agreed on how to show it. How many of those minds were willing to capture Ivan unharmed? Could he even be captured when he became like this?

Ah, if only she could wield a sword!

‘Swords are men’s toys…’ her nanny used to laugh. ‘They go around, waving them around at the world, as if they bring anything but fear and pain…’

She could feel them both right now… the fear, and the pain… her heart ached as the dragon… her dragon roared and her brother bellowed. She couldn’t see a thing from the tower: the entire castle fenced her view like an overbearing mother hen. Here too…

Every single moment of her life, she’d been nothing but someone to protect, to care for, to keep away from any possible harm. Whether it was her brother, her cousins, her servants, and now, her dragon too…

Not even her nanny would leave her be, even when she’d insisted to learn at least protective spells… All she was willing to teach her was how to animate and change animals and objects, to various stages between illusion and reality.

When she’d summoned that lake, it had been the greatest day of her life, and it was still hard to remember how exactly had she done it, in fact… All she remembered was how tired and absolutely done with being chased around she was, especially as the ox under her spell started wearing thin, under the relentless Bear King’s pursuit.

Her dragon roared again. No, that was not a roar. He sounded hurt…

Of course, the fight was not fair. He was trying to capture Ivan without harming him, while Ivan had no reason to restrain himself, at all. There was no way that this would end up well… She had to go down there now!

The trap door under her feet unlocked easily enough, but it still took some time. It led into another room, closed with yet another trap door… if this was how this entire tower was, it would take too long to leave it. She had to find another way, and fast.

There was straw and rope in the second room… it would do. She grabbed a few handfuls of each and got to working as fast as her fingers could keep up. Blood stained the straw as she worked the ties tight and the rope cut through her skin, but she paid it no mind: if anything, it seemed to help the enchantment entwine faster along.

Another pained growl resonated through the castle yard…

“Come on…” she urged the little straw doll, blowing some of her own life into it. She’d have to slay a couple of rabbits to get it back later, but they had plenty of those around the place…

The enchantment caught and the doll flapped its straw and rope wings, pushing its head placeholder ahead, as if trying to screech. No sound came out, since there was no mouth, and the doll turned its faceless head towards her in a mute complaint.

“I’ll finish you later, with emeralds for eyes and steel for a beak!” she promised. “I’ll even make your wings out of leather and your feet of iron!” she added, as the doll seemed to consider her offer.

It accepted, flapping its wings and rising to the air outside the window. She had to climb the sill to reach it, but she was planning to leave that way all the same…

The distance to the ground seemed thrice as large, now that it was right under her feet. She took a deep breath.

“There’s nobody else who can finish you, so you better make sure I reach the ground unharmed!” she warned, before letting go of the windowsill and grabbing entirely on the doll.

A building crashed in the distance, horses neighing in distress…

She jumped, her fingers digging deep within the straw. She really, really, really should have thought about putting something sturdier in it and even some handles…

She cried in regret and terror as the doll threatened to come apart under her weight, way, way, way too high above the ground.

Flames burst alive under her fingers, setting the doll ablaze, and her hands with it. That was the last thing she needed right now. She prayed to any gods or spirits that might be listening, tears sizzling against the burning flesh, straw and rope, as she started plummeting towards the ground with increasing speed. Her fingers wanted to let go, but her mind forced them gripping for as long as possible, fighting for survival.

There was no telling, with the terror and pain, how long she’d been in the air, by the time her dragon slid backwards into view, avoiding a raging Ivan once more. She realized too late that she was screaming aloud, as her dragon turned all seven heads towards her, mirroring her despair.

He shouldn’t have. The cost for looking away from his opponent was too steep.

Seeing nothing but his target, Ivan closed the distance between them and sliced through the nearest head, cutting it clean off. It didn’t even have time to understand what was going on as it tumbled to the ground, under the horrified eyes of Maria and the six remaining heads. It tried to scream as pain registered at last, but there were no lungs to carry any sound.

“NO!” she yelled, but her voice didn’t carry either, a dull screech filling the air around her instead, fire licking at her face like flapping wings, as she found herself turned in the air and dropped right where she wanted: between her brother and her dragon.

The fire didn’t burn any longer. She barely had any time to register letting go of a flame shaped vaguely like a bird, before her eyes landed on her brother, who watched her, not with recognition, but measuring, as if assessing whether she was an obstacle or not.

“STOP THIS INSTANT, IVAN!” she yelled.

He barely spared her another glance before rushing her dragon once more… of course…

Cold realization dawned on her as she pulled off her one ring, waiting for him to stop in his track just for a moment. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her abilities, or that he was protective of her. He didn’t listen nor see her… ever. Her voice carried, he always nodded when she spoke and seemed to hear her words, looked her way, but he never listened to her. Nobody did, not even her dragon… although at least he saw her.

“HALT!” she commanded, throwing her ring at him. It hit the ground instead of his body, but it was close enough for the enchantment to work anyway, wrapping around his legs and throwing him entirely off balance, a loud, bony sound telling of a chin hitting the ground and teeth crushing against each other.

“YOU TOO!” she barked as the dragon, who was coiling to strike, overcome with pain and anger. “Did you even TRY to use that handkerchief I gave you?” she glared, her arms to her hips. To his credit, all remaining heads froze in their track, looking sheepish. Half of them were still angry, the other half were throwing her bewildered glances. Neither dared say a thing. She didn’t risk looking at the seventh head, lest her anger gave way to sorrow.

She stomped to her brother before he could come out of the falling daze, stepping on his wrist as he was still gripping the sword, ready to swing it once more.

“It’s all about these blasted things with you, every time!” she pressed her weight on her foot until he finally let go and she could remove the cursed sword out of his reach. “Weapons, fighting, hunting… never talking, never listening… Here! All yours!” she threw it to the bird-shaped flame as it hovered nearby, faceless but eager, like a puppy waiting by their master’s table. “Steel for your beak and leather for your feathers.”

The bird caught the sword with its body and soon enough, it’s screech went sharp and painfully vibrant. She’d expected it to store it, but it could build itself up instead… That was unheard of, but she wasn’t going to complain now…

“Give me iron!” the bird spoke. “Give me emeralds! And more leather!”

“I will, as promised!” she nodded, stepping on Ivan’s back and reaching for the remainder of his weapons.

He tried to shake her off, as she used the dagger to cut off his sheathe belt and his quiver.

“Halt! Yee of ears that do not hear!” the bird screeched and Ivan moved to cover his ears instead of fighting her off. No… he touched them, as if trying to see if they were still there.

“Did you take it?” Maria glared at the bird. It was hard to say if it noticed anything other than her tone, with just a beak on its face. “His hearing?”

“What use does he make of it anyway?” the bird cawed coldly.

“Return it!” she commanded.

“As you wish…” the bird scoffed.

“Unhand me, wench! What have you done to my sister?” Ivan sneered from under her knee, as his hearing returned without a sign, not even a glimmer of magic.

“I have always been your sister, you oaf!” Maria pulled at the hair in the back of his head in anger, like she always did, since they were kids. Only now it wasn’t about a biscuit he wouldn’t share, so she pulled a lot harder, until some hair snapped under her grip.

“No… you can’t be!” he sounded outraged, but unsure.

“Here! A bonus! Use them for your nest or something…” she threw her earrings and the entire quiver, brimming with arrows, at the bird, watching its wings spread wider as it consumed everything. “That fence is made of iron. Take its gate…” she pointed. She’d handle the apologies later.

“My sister… she would never…” Ivan almost sounded as wailing.

“Right, your dainty and demure sister…” she hissed, stepping off him after making double sure that he had no more weapons. “Maybe you should have thought of me before trying to kill my boyfriend…”

She dared look at the fallen head at last, her heart breaking loudly in her ears.

“I can help, master!” the bird hopped by her, pushing its head under her arm, like a puppy, looking to comfort her, watching her with many eyes made of more gems than just the emeralds from her earrings. Ivan must have hidden his gem stash in the quiver again. “Give me one more part of you, and I will bring you the Water of Life and the Water of Death before you know it!”

She looked at the bird. It was smart… too smart for a doll made of straw and rope, even if she counted the blood too… Whatever was animating it, it was no longer her life behind it, but something old and knowledgeable… She wondered what the cost for its name would be…

“Would an arm do?” she asked, looking at her hands, deaf to the chorus of protests that the dragon’s heads broke into, at her words. Ugly scars stretched all across, halfway up to the elbows, as if she’d burned not just a few minutes, but many years ago. She didn’t need both of them to cast, and she could always build herself a replacement, with enough time and dedication…

“You already gave me your blood, flesh and tears…” the bird said. “And I have no need for your bones. Steel and iron are better.” it cackled proudly.

The dragon almost lost it when she moved the negotiation to her eyes, tongue, ears…

“You’d give your eyes for that?” Ivan was outraged.

“That is your brother-in-law, so I’d watch my tongue if I were you!” Maria was livid. “What were you even thinking? Coming into someone’s house and…” she swallowed, unable to finish the sentence. “If you were raised in a cave, you’d still have better manners than this!” she took her handkerchief as a concerned dragon head reached over her shoulder, gently.

“Give me your hair.” the bird said, its many eyes measuring her with sharp intelligence. “A strand is enough…”

“We’re fine…” the dragon head on her shoulder said carefully, swallowing often as to avoid blowing ice on her while it spoke. “There’s still six of us…”

“It must be a long journey, and I’d rather you return faster than later.” Maria ignored it, untying her hair. The iron pins, that the maids had so carefully put in it this morning, became food for the bird too, since she wouldn’t be needing any for a while ahead… “Take it…” she held most of it out for the bird to cut it, with its new sharp steel beak.

It didn’t wait for a second invitation, taking off with the hair without another word. Whatever she had brought to life, it knew what it was doing.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Are you both sure that this is enough?” she asked the bird as it returned with two heads on its body: one carrying the Water of Life in its beak, the other, the Water of Death.

“You just wait a little longer, master… It would have worked it I just brought a single drop, even.” the head who brought the Water of Death spoke proudly as the other one just nodded, focusing on not swallowing their delivery.

They had realigned the head to the neck, but it seemed to be taking forever. The other six heads dozed in a semblance of patience on the floor, his tail slapping against the ground like a mildly annoyed cat.

“Where is your belligerent sibling?” the idle head asked, looking around the hallway.

A couple of days had passed since the fight, and the place was going through repairs already. Her dragon was getting rather hissy about not being allowed to turn to human, but if he did, the now reattaching neck would have disappeared entirely, according to the head maid, who seemed more knowledgeable about dragons than even the dragon himself.

“On his way home.” she said, checking the head for the twentieth time. “I’ve had a talk with my uncle and we agreed that Ivan’s not to touch any weapons again until he learns manners.”

“The Tsar agreed?” the bird’s many eyes glinted with interest.

“Of course.” Maria stood tall. “Hard to disagree with a sorceress who can put a curse on your bloodline at any time, since she carries it around within herself… especially after she set fire to your entire garden from three kingdoms away.”

“But nobody can cast fire that far…” the bird leaned its head, looking intrigued.

“You know that, and I know that… my uncle doesn’t…” she winked. “Alright… bring the Water of Life!” she rushed the bird closer, the other heads popping up from the floor like flowers in spring.

“How will you know if the Tsar keeps his word?” the birds second head spoke as soon as the Water of Life spilled over the lifeless head.

“The same way that I set his garden on fire…” she grinned mysteriously, looking at the nearby mirror. Her nanny’s face reflected on its surface for just a moment, a proud smirk blooming in her cheeks as she went on with her daily royal servant chores.

The bird’s many eyes blinked, looking her over with growing amusement, a laughter erupting from its burning body as the two heads rejoined into one.  

“I answered you out of a whim.” it said, wiping at its many eyelids as if it had teared up. “But it looks like I’ll be having the time of my life, in your service, Sorceress Maria.” it leaned into a deep bow. Its iron feet clinked against the stone floor as it took off, cackling as it circled around the hall in merry acrobatics.

“That was quite a nap I took…” the head next to her spoke, blinking drowsily as it moved against her arm for the first time in days.

“You would have napped long and hard if my canary wasn’t here to help…” she kissed his forehead.

“Me next!” said one head.

“Me next!” the others echoed in turn.

“Hmm… Canary…” the bird mused, flying over the heads as Maria took turns, kissing each and every forehead. “I like that! I’ll be that!” it chirped right by her ear, landing as the cutest fire-orange Canary that she had ever seen.

It’s eyes were black and beady, like one of her nanny’s expertly made dolls, but if you didn’t look too closely, you could easily mistake it for a regular bird.

“Well, find yourself somewhere else to perch… This shoulder, along with its owner, has a lot of catching up to do with one, very impatient dragon…” her dashing human-shaped dragon chased it away, pulling Maria to his arms. He’d waited as much as his last dragon forehead getting kissed before turning, no more.

“Isn’t impatience something of my kind?” she teased, moving her arms around his neck. A thin line stretched right across his right collarbone, almost invisible.

“I can admit when I’m proven wrong…” he huffed against her lips, hovering, just about to touch them with his own, but not quite.

She closed the distance, their noses bumping into each other. She chuckled with him, but didn’t pull away, tilting her head just enough to avoid repeating the impact. His lips were just as soft as she’d imagined, and she indulged in exploring their every corner. She wasn’t sure what else to do, but by the amused look in his eyes, it was clear that it this wasn’t quite it.

“I didn’t get your brother’s blessing” he teased, pulling away.

“Ah, it’s not like you’re marrying my brother too…” she rolled her eyes, ever so slightly.

And they lived happily ever after…

----------------------------------

Thank you for reading all the way through my little story. I hope you enjoyed it!

This is the first story that I ever made public, so I am a little nervous.

If you have any suggestions or know any guides that could help my writing improve, please feel free to let me know.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

the thing is - pro prostitution activists (and people who agree with idea) usually never suggest their 'perfect system'. On average, they just scream 'it needs to be legalised and then everything will be great', sometimes you get few ideas on how to protect "sex workers". But you know what? Whenever I do see such discussions and their suggestions, I can easily come up with 3 different scenarios where their rules and laws won't work or just would/can be ignored and women would still be harmed. EVERY TIME. People did and do all kinds of shady stuff, even in highly regulated industries + cool phenomenon called 'corruption'. Do they really think men give a shit about law, especially those who don't see women as human beings (and its all of them)?

The pro 'sex work' discourse is just people using fancy words to state that they don't believe misogyny exists, women are exploited, but most importantly they believe that men's pleasure and need to masturbate (with woman body) are more important than women's feeling and right to be save.

i recently had a very frustrating and saddening exchange with a woman on here who is in prostitution and kept saying the same thing (it should be legal) over and over again and when i told her it is legal in germany and it has not made things better just shifted problems and increased demand she said well but its legal that is definitely better. and you know i myself dont advocate for prostituting oneself to be illegal at all, i think its crazy that 30 % of women incarcerated in the usa where its fully criminalised are prostitutes, but it seems like usual people are only able to grasp the two extremes: full legalisation or full criminalisation. when in reality, abolishing the sex industry is a lengthy and complex process, but you have to start somewhere.

they say, „you wont stop prostitution by criminalising/outlawing it“ but think they can somehow stop the harm of prostitution through legal means, lmao (which also ignores the inherent harm of bought consent compared to freely given consent and knowingly making someone endure sexual acts for money). there has to be a cultural and legal and economic shift and thats a lot. we have to alleviate poverty from women systematically affected by it (single mothers, immigrated women, mentally ill, disabled, addicted women, and so on); this means pulling out the roots of misogyny and we all know this is not in the works. the difference between them and us is, we think a different future is possible if the effort is put in, but they dont. which is so fucking bleak and tells you a lot about how women see their own position in society, and the chances of it getting better.

even if you dont criminalise buying sex, you could still make it more difficult to buy sex. „but then it will move back to the black market“ honey its already there, even here in germany where its legal. so much prostitution is happening invisible, in apartment buildings and deserted areas. we should work towards ways how to reach women in these situations without legalising their abuse. if there was a perfect solution that immediately solved all the issues, we would advocate for it, dont you think? but there is no perfect solution and just accepting men will always use their money to coerce sex is just not something im okay with and we, as a society claiming to want gender equality should be okay with.

why not reverse what we have in germany right now? instead of prostitutes needing to register, its sex buyers who have to register. they need to do regular health checkups. they need to carry their sex buyer id with them or they will get fined. the registry is public because wives, daughters, partners and even your employer should be able to make decisions based on the knowledge that that man is coercing women into sex with his money. most sex buyers are partnered you know. „the government will never do that“ well they sure as hell wont if nobody advocates for it and instead opts for the lazy, superficial „fix“ of legalisation? and also, they say an issue under criminalisation is that prostitutes and other „sex workers“ are hassled by cops. well do tell who will enforce those sacred regulations you want? if it was for them, everybody would just „mind their own business“ and the state does not interfere with the sex industry at all and they somehow think this will protect vulnerable groups?! it doesnt make any fucking sense.

it is really frustrating to me. at the end of the day you have to ask, what is your feminism, if you want to accept, regulate, institutionalise, normalise, legitimise and legalise this form of systemic sexual abuse (because using your money to coerce sexual acts IS abuse of power) at the hands of men instead of working towards a future where we are equal? there is no equality as long as the sex industry exists and profits off and reinforces social inequality, specifically misogyny and racism.

[13reasonstoeatthatcake]

Fourth Wing's Worldbuilding

I'm currently reading Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros and I adore the concept of the world, but so far all of the crumbs of worldbuilding I've been given only make me want more. I've heard that apparently she doesn't get much into it in the first book, but I love worldbuilding and I have a lot of questions I'm sure she's not going to answer so I've written them down for myself for later (hopefully) fanfic worldbuilding instead. These are very much not in order.

how is general sorrengail allowed to place violet in a quadrant made up of volunteers in the war college she's the general in charge of and kick her out of the scribe quadrant without a valid reason, is that not some sort of preferential treatment?

what is the rough technological advancement of the world, are there mass-produced weapons or singular smiths? why is not metalwork a course in the war college/another college? do they use ppl with metal bending signets instead?

is the person with the make-small-things-big signet able to do that with food? is that food nutritious? what is the common diet of the navarre and is it different between what violet as a highclass general's daughter (albeit one w a disability as opposed to a soldier) is used to eating?

how does trade work when navarre is allegedly ignoring the fuck out of the literal apocalypse happening outside its borders? are there other continents that saw the venin invasion and were like 'fuck nah, we're bailing' and just. wrote the whole damn continent off??

does the whole, brutal darwinist society mentality affect anything else in the country?? like the characters admit basgiath is brutal yes but they also talk about removing the weak for the good of the wing a lot, is this also common in other spheres of life? is infant mortality relatively high because if they have a visible disability they're seen as lesser? what does this mean for violet, does she feel the priviledge of being alive as a high-class military family member, since she has obvious internalised ableism or is she stubbornly refusing to see herself and any theoretical disabled children as one and the same in order not to think too deeply abt it (she never sees herself as explicitly disabled as far as i've read, just 'broken'); what does the theoretical darwinism of the society mean for healthcare and its accessibility? are only 'badge-of-honor' disabilities (like lost limbs or other permanent damage from battle and such mental illnesses like PTSD) valid, or are they also looked down upon? what does the existence of menders mean for healers? birth control is obviously not an issue, how are periods treated? are there mental health experts?? if a mender were to 'mend' the battle wounds of a trans man who's undergone gender-correcting surgery, will the gender-correcting surgery also be undone???

how does a culture predisposed to short, practical hair for all genders view hair-care? there's a precedent for hairdye and funky modern-world punk hairstyles in the riding quadrant, but how do common ppl see it? what haircare products and hairstyle trends are there, do high-class ppl imitate riders?

how do newbies deal with watching their comrades being burnt to ash? is there a disdain for ppl who refuse to eat meat because it seems like having a weak stomach not to want to eat cooked meat after watching your friends be cooked to death? does that mean there's a portion of ppl learning to shovel food in their mouths without tasting it in order to get nutrition and/or not look weak, which in turn makes them easier to poison? how does that intersect with probable religious cults/sects where there's food restrictions?

how come there’s 171 first years but 5-6 ppl in a squad and three squads per squadrons? am I just bad at math?

why does a dragon bond with jack who tried to kill a dragon baby? is there a possible larger disagreement in how to choose a worthy rider in the empyrean, and are Sgaeyl and Tairn on the more or less popular side with their opinion kindness is important?

why is Violet, the daughter of a war general whose siblings are soldiers actively fighting a war, so against taking a life? is it something religious, done to spite her mother, a gripe because of the way her scribe father raised her, a distaste for death? is it because they're on the same side/she wouldn't have an issue killing ppl if they were in an official skirmish?

how widespread is the erasure of culture and language after the unification?

how many languages on average should one learn if they’re a soldier, a scribe, a normal civilian? are there multiple scripts being taught or just the cyllian(?) one? how do spies and information gathering work if the larger public isn't supposed to know about venin?

what do civilians think of the 600-year war they’re supposedly leading against Poromiel, are they dissatisfied Navarre isn’t winning yet? What are they being told is the reason they're not allowed to cross the ward-borders of the country (if they're allowed to leave at all)? Does Navarre have somebody with a signet like Imogen's and are deleting/rewriting memories instead? Does Navarre even know Imogen has a signet like that at all, or is she lying about it?

the scribes have apparently been hiding the truth of the world for centuries, but as violet’s dad says history survives in folklore; does that mean there’s a sizeable portion of Navarre that remembers venin because they can’t murder every single superstitious villager? does that mean settlements around the borders are discouraged bcoz that means there’s a bigger chance of someone seeing smthn, or are border villagers discouraged from entering the army? surely talking abt myths like venin isn’t forbidden but maybe military families keep silent bcoz of class loyalty and not let common-born up the ranks but use them as canon-fodder against venin to make sure the info isn’t leaked to the civilians?

what is the common level of literacy in this society anyways?

if assassins can volunteer to come to the rider’s quadrant to take out their targets, how do they leave or get paid?

are there inside assassination jobs, like if somebody is conscripted as a punishment for a crime like the Marked Ones as a method of execution but ends up surviving, can someone be ordered to dispose of them? in that case is it an official execution or is it an illegal assassination?

why did nobody react to andarna being yellow if there’s no yellow dragons, did they just think she was a mega-weak orange??

why does dain know abt the empyrean and mentions it to violet but professor kaori the dragon expert is excited abt learning more, shouldn’t they already be aware of it?

why does the common misconception that dragons despise weaklings exist, why do the dragons not correct it or confirm it?

how do religion and dragons intersect if dragons canonically aren’t impressed with human gods? does that mean that once upon a time bonding with a dragon meant being the fantasy equivalent of a satan worshipper? if every single god has a separate temple like it’s said Amari has a temple in Aretia then does that mean that, just like in Ancient Greece, every kingdom-now-province had a separate patron god? if yes, then were they a pantheon from the beginning or were they monotheistic religions that merged together after the unification, does that mean there’s separate cults for every god, traditionalist and reformist worshippers? can you tell from what province someone is by which gods they call upon, do they have different hymns or prayers, does every god/cult/province have different superstitions and attitudaes towards different tyopes of dragons or signets, what was the historical attitude towards inntinnsics, were they priests, demigods, cursed?

do dragons know when their next bonded human will be their last, is it something to do with their power level, the closeness of their bond, and (i forgot this question but it was smthn to do w signets?)

do they or do they not use saddles and if not then what is the purpose of the pommel thing on top of the dragon they hold onto that I keep reading about?

if tairn and sgaeyl bone so fucking much then why haven't they had a hatchling yet? is there a dragon contraceptive???? is it some sort of magical 'i'm not getting pregnant if i don't want to'? is it some sort of mystical 'only on the first blood-moon in february and after we murder three virgin goats together' type of deal???

[tsukimefuku]

Overdue introduction post

She/Her • bi/pan • AuDHD non-monogamous lady • professional tinkerer • this year I’m gonna be unstable unstoppable

If you like anything I write, please leave a comment. I do my best answer each and every one made :)

I don’t usually take requests because I came back to writing in order to let my AuDHD run wild like a toddler with a pair of scissors, completely unbound by earthly restraints. However, I do take suggestions, if you’d like to send one in my Asks.

Pen name and meaning: Tsukime Fuku or Fuku-Chan. I wanted something to resemble the owl I feel like, most of the time (I have terrible sleeping issues). Fukurou (梟) in Japanese means Owl, so I just decided to shorten it in katakana (フク). I wrote Tsukime in kanji (疲明) mixing up the gloomy and tired aspect from “Tsuki” with the bright one from “Me”. I’m a tired, gloomy, somewhat optimistic millenial owl.

My letters from the LGBTQIAP+ community: B for kissing multiple genders and A for demisexual (I can’t spell, sorry). Also, I’ve got a wife.

Where I’m from: A country well known for being God's wild random sandbox experiment 🇧🇷 For that reason, English is not my native language (you can communicate with me in Portuguese, Spanish and English. If by any chance you say something in Italian, please make it three-year-old friendly).

Current fandoms: Jujutsu Kaisen (main) and Hazbin Hotel (secondary).

Former or everlasting fandoms: Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, flanaverse, Bojack Horseman, Rurouni Kenshin, Avatar (both The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra — I’m a Korra stan), Sherlock (books, stories, and BBC Series), Steven Universe, House MD, Supernatural, and other things I’ll add as I remember them.

Favorite genres of fiction: murder/mystery (b1tch! grew up reading Sherlock), terror, horror, drama and millennial comedy / dark humor. Currently, I’ve been getting into smutty fiction and rather enjoying it. I also want to write some chick lit stories, so...

Fun(?) facts about me I had enough time to come up with, instead of nervously sweating in the middle of a date thinking about them (this might get updated regularly, but probably won't - most recent will be at the bottom of the list):

Yes, I’m a criminal defense attorney. I love and hate my job multiple times a day.

I have a deranged type of humor (it's because of my inner demons. They have many voices. One of them is Carol)

I am unhinged and shitpost like a hell spawn. That's not a fun fact, it's a warning

I'm controlled by a monkey with a typewriter that lives inside my head. It feeds off of my anxiety during the day, then gives it back to me at night. It's lovely.

My writing process goes about like this: I get an idea. It plagues my every waking moment. If I don't write it, I realistically believe it might consume me into oblivion. So I write. Should I write because it's fun? Sure. Do I write to quench the thirst for dopamine of my inner demons (that have many voices, one of them is Carol)? Absolutely.

I got diagnosed with ADHD in my early 20's, and autism in my late 20's. These were definitely my roaring 20's, and we don't talk about it.

I try to be a kind person when I can. As a lady in her late 20's with some life and trauma experience involving mental illnesses, addiction, grief, and much more, you can always DM me if by any chance you need to talk about anything. I don't bite (much).

I realized I've been chatting with an online acquaintance that lives with a 12+ hour difference. That's how fucked my sleep schedule is — you can't fuck up your sleep schedule if you have none, amiright?

I need a soundtrack for everything I'm doing. It makes talking to people in real life very difficult.

I never know what day of the month it is. It's led me to receive happy birthday's unannounced and feel very confused at the people congratulating me on "my special day". I had done nothing special. It made no sense.

I tend to write very fast. It's the monkey's fault.

My most unpopular opinion: HIMYM ending was the correct choice, and made perfect sense for Ted and Robin.

My favorite quotes in English are the ending to The Great Gatsby (“so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past”) and a tidbit from Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest (“Truth is rarely pure and never simple”).

My favorite poem of all time is "Tabacaria" by Fernando Pessoa.

Something you’ll NEVER see me writing in love stories is romanticized jealousy and possessiveness. Everyone has their thing, but that’s really not mine, and I don’t enjoy writing it. When I DO write about jealousy, I like to explore the underlying insecurity and pain behind it.

I’m here to spread the non-monogamy queer agenda.

If you read this through the end, thank you, and I'm slightly concerned for your mental well-being. Come on over and have a cup of tea.

🦉

[thrythlind]

Tendou Kasumi - Late Start Version

Okay, so, before we begin let's go ahead set some basic information here first.

Who is Tendou Kasumi?

Kasumi is a supporting character from the 80s manga Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi and the anime it is based on. She is a character who exhibits several traits of the yamato nadeshiko trope which represents an idealized Japanese housewife. In the manga, she can be witnessed to have tendency toward biting sarcasm when responding to other characters, but this was mostly lost in the anime where she is the perpetually kind and calm woman who acts as a surrogate mother for her sisters and father.

She is one of the only characters without any hint of martial arts prowess or observable supernatural trait save in just how kind and patient she is.

What is the premise of Ranma 1/2?

Ranma 1/2 is about a teenaged martial artist named Ranma Saotome who has received a curse where they change gender when they get wet. Cold water turns them into a girl and hot water turns them into a boy. Through the machinations of his absolutely terrible father, Ranma has at least two fiancees: the daughter of his father's longtime friend and the friend he had as a child while they were starting their training trip.

Kasumi is the eldest of the friend's daughters and her youngest sister, Akane, is the usual fiancee of the agreement. The middle sister Nabiki has occasionally claimed the role as part of some scheme to her advantage. Ranma has another fiancee due to getting tangled up in the laws of another culture and has a fourth admirer in the form of a mentally ill rich girl. In addition Ranma's girl side is desired by the mentally ill brother of said rich girl. A long time rival of Ranma's has a crush on Akane, and a childhood acquaintance has a crush on the foreign girl pursuing Ranma.

The manga is a satire poking fun at the standard tropes of teenage romances as well as martial arts stories. It blows a lot of these things out of proportion. The anime loses a lot of the satire and mostly focuses on the immediate humor, romance subplots, and fight scenes directly. The success of Ranma is at least one reason for the emergence of the Harem genre where the convoluted romance subplots are done unironically.

What is Late Start?

Late Start is a fanfic I wrote to get myself back into writing a bit after some burnout. It is currently unfinished, but the premise was that instead of coming to the Tendou dojo at age 16, that Ranma instead doesn't learn about the Tendous or the marriage agreements until he's 20. And indeed, Akane and Ranma first meet at a martial arts tournament and hit it off.

The idea was to do the characters without a lot of the teenage confusion. Where they're on more equal footing power-wise, more mature, and have had more time to settle their own issues.

Among other things, each of the Tendou sisters has their own curse. Akane is bound up with a lightning spirit, Nabiki is a vampire, and Kasumi is an oni. While two of those are just made up, Kasumi really did spend some time during the manga and anime possessed by an oni. It operated by trying to draw out and feed on the evil of the people it possessed, and in Kasumi's case that meant doing things that would be considered cruel "pranks" but not nearly to the level of evil one would expect from an oni.

Spoiler for the fanfic necessary to understand the build:

In Late Start, when the oni tried to finally consume her she managed to fight back, but in the process she became an oni. She's convinced her family that she's human and the horns are just a remnant of the possession. However, she is in truth a being of darkness and chaos. Unlike the prior oni, however, compassion is at her core rather than cruelty. This kind of passes since her vampire sister Nabiki is largely just a civilian so not really anybody dangerous.

Kasumi has also joined the Templars (Secret World rather than Assassin's Creed) and secretly investigates and prevents occult disasters while telling her family she goes to a LARP society that copies the MMO "The Secret World" which includes the Templars, Illuminati, and Dragons (I think a made up secret society for the game). So, when Kasumi is not keeping the home, she's basically dressing like this and hunting bad guys. (pictures that follow are a screencap from City of Heroes: Homecoming, a commissioned piece of art by Silky Noire, and a screencap from Secret World Legends, the free-to-play version of the original MMO)

So... I'm going to go ahead and build a version of Late Start Kasumi for Scion as an Origin but give her a quick simulated shift to her visitation and a Hero when she joins the Templars. She's not going to have a Pantheon, instead having a Covenant with the Templars.

The Build

Step One: Concept

Kasumi Tendou is a human woman who turned the tables on a possessing entity that had sought to claim a physical body all of its own. She was willing to share, but the entity only played along with that until it felt strong enough to consume her. Along the way it taught her some conceptual magic. She failed to convince it to share, and she realized she couldn't keep both herself alive and prevent the transformation of her body, so she conceded the change and sneakily focused on being the sole survivor. Leaving her a physically embodied oni with a soul that still possesses primarily human experiences.

She draws sustenance from the friendliness and good will surrounding her as she refuses to take in hate, anger, or fear to sustain herself and risk becoming another evil. Eventually, she comes to the attention of the Templars and joins them. Since then she's been able to receive holy water and blessed rice and draws sustenance from the blessings imparted to the food.

Step Two: Paths

Primary Path: A Creature of Chaos and Compassion Skills: Occult, Subterfuge, Empathy

Secondary Path: Eldest Sister of the Tendou Family Skills: Culture, Integrity, Persuasion

Tertiary Path: Lost Two Battles to win the War Skills: Integrity, Occult, Subterfuge

Step Three: Skills

Based on the Paths and which we assigned as Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary. Primary skills get 3 dots, Secondary 2, Tertiary 1. Any skill that has 3 or higher gets a specialty. This by RAW is only at character creation, but we've generally played that getting to 3 comes with a free specialty as well, rather than making people pay for it.

Culture 2

Empathy 3 (Toxic Beliefs)

Integrity 3 (Kindness)

Occult 4 (Conceptual Magic)

Persuasion 2

Subterfuge 4 (Overlooked)

Step Four: Attributes

Kasumi's Favored approach is going to be Resilience. Primary will be social (6 dots), secondary Mental (3 dots), and tertiary Physical (2 dots). These each get one free dot, and the three Resilience attributes (Resolve, Composure, Stamina) get two free dots as the Favored approach.

Mental

Intellect 2

Cunning 3

Resolve 3

Physical

Might 2

Dexterity 2

Stamina 3

Social

Presence 3

Manipulation 4

Composure 4

Step Five: Calling and Knacks

At Origin she is going to have a single Calling typically if we were building her as a denizen she wouldn't get her Denizen trait and that's it. But we're building her as a scion with a Denizen origin. As for Pantheon... she's going to be a tutelary goddess. IE she's associated with a specific group of people rather than a pantheon. In this case the largely more benevolent version of the Templars that appears in the fanfic.

That said, I want to nod at her being both a denizen and a scion. So I'm giving her a Persistent Condition that causes her trouble. And I'm going to base this a bit on her hunger. She doesn't need food in the same way as humans do, but she still needs to feed.

Persistent Condition: Emotional Hunger: Kasumi must feed on the emotions and spirit of other beings. By preference she only feeds on kindness or other such emotions freely given to avoid taking more negative attitudes into herself. However, if isolated or among hostile beings for long, she may grow hungry and desperate. She can also feed on blessed food (such as holy water, blessed rice, or edible blessings) but it is possible to poison her with cursed food instead, possibly affecting her personality while digesting it. Add Momentum whenever her hunger causes her a problem.

I'm also giving her a second Persistent Condition. As these are a way to produce momentum at the "cost" of drama (oh no, something interesting happens), a second Persistent Condition is something you can only get with GM approval, but this is a theoretical, so let's go with it.

Persistent Condition: Oni Horns: Kasumi has oni horns. She can't hide them. They're always there. They're pointy. When they cause her trouble, add Momentum.

So, now, her Calling. Given the fact that she perceives the world as bundles of concepts and interacts solely on that level. Like she doesn't see with her eyes so much as she is aware of the concept of light and darkness or people walking through it. That feels very much like Sage. So that's what she's starting with. For her Knack, she's getting "Master of the World" to represent the already discussed perceptions.

Step Six: Finishing Touches

This is the end of the Origin character creation. So we do some figured characteristics.

Defense: relates to whichever Resilience attribute she is using to defend with and will thus be either 3 (Stamina or Resolve) or 4 (Composure)

Health: She has the basic Bruised, Injured, Maimed, and Taken Out health statuses. Due to having 3 Stamina, she has a second Bruised status.

And she gains the following:

Five Extra Skill dice: 1 to Empathy, 1 to Integrity, 1 to Culture, 1 to Persuasion, 1 to Athletics

One Extra Attribute die: to Presence

Either two more knacks or four points of Birthrights.

As she cannot use more than a single knack at the moment, but also I can't think of a particular birthright she has from the start. The prequel story I did of her implicated that she had to rebuild her place with her neighbors due to the horns, so the Cult feels like something that came later. Covenant feels like a Legend 1+ thing. Joining the Templars came later at her visitation. So, I'm giving her two more Sage knacks: Presence of Magic and Scent the Divine (available to all Scions) as further representations of how she perceives the world.

Tendou Kasumi - Possession Survivor

Primary Path: A Creature of Chaos and Compassion Skills: Occult, Subterfuge, Empathy

Secondary Path: Eldest Sister of the Tendou Family Skills: Culture, Integrity, Persuasion

Tertiary Path: Lost Two Battles to win the War Skills: Integrity, Occult, Subterfuge

Athletics 1

Culture 3 (Suburbs)

Empathy 4 (Toxic Concepts)

Integrity 4 (Kindness)

Occult 4 (Conceptual Magic)

Persuasion 3 (Gentle Nudge)

Subterfuge 4 (Overlooked)

Mental

Intellect 2

Cunning 3

Resolve 3

Physical

Might 2

Dexterity 2

Stamina 3

Social

Presence 4

Manipulation 4

Composure 4

Calling: Sage 1

General Knacks: Scent of the Divine

Sage Knacks: Master of the World, Presence of Magic

Now, on to Hero

Her visitation comes when she visits a Shinto shrine that is a front for the Templars and receives the invitation to join them. Her route toward that event did involve her instinctively closing a rift that something terrible was trying to slip in through, but mostly it was a social adventure. She spent a while making sure everyone in her neighborhood trusted her despite the clear oni horns on her head and working to break down some of the harmful traditions and concepts that had calcified around people in the area.

I'm going to say this was five sessions worth of game play and say she achieved:

Three short term deeds

One long term deed

One story milestone

Spent half or more the momentum pool five times

But no group experience rewards since it implies she didn't share her true nature with anybody and so I'm saying she did this solo.

Still that's 16 xp before reaching her visitation.

For the sake of humor, I'm going to say the Band deed was helping Nerima to become a healthier community and the Long-term deed was "face another supernatural creature". So she achieved her Band-term before the Long-term... which is a bit funny since Band-terms usually take longer.

Spending that Experience I'm doing the following:

Cult Birthright - 2 dots (10 experience)

Specialty - Empathy: Desires (3 experience)

Specialty - Integrity: Temptation (3 experience)

For the Cult Birthright I'm building it as follows:

Nerima Ward: Community

Light 2, Shadow: 1

Path Skills: Athletics, Culture, Occult (Nerima's a weird place y'all)

Tag: Temple (letting her get access easier to places around the neighborhood)

Responsibilities: Converse with residents and help their mental health.

Light Access Connection: Community center

Light Contact Connection: Shopkeepers

Shadow Contact Connection: The women of Nerima

Visitation

She gains the following from her visitation:

Two additional Callings and 4 Calling dots.

Additional Knacks up to 5 total. Plus any you gained from Finishing Touches. (So 7 total in this case)

Seven dots of birthrights

An Innate Purview

Assign Boons

Legend 1

Calling Keywords

Legendary Title

For her two additional Callings and Calling dots, I'm going with:

Liminal 1

Psychopomp 2

Sage 2

For the Knacks I'm going with (including Origin knacks):

General Knacks: Aura of Greatness (Empathy), Scent of the Divine

Liminal Knacks: Flatlander (to represent how she can bend the concepts of space time)

Psychopomp Knacks: Tending the Egg, This isn't Everything You Are (for how she recognizes where people have harmful preconceptions and tries to help them break past those.)

Sage Knacks: Presence of Magic, Master of the World

For the Seven Dots of Birthrights

Covenant 2 - Templars, Physical Representation: Hakuba Shrine, Enhancement two when dealing with Templars. Access to Covenant boons. Motif: Ancient Occult Knowledge

Relic 3 - Horns (Innate, Chaos and Darkness purviews) Motif: Whispers in to the Soul

Cult 2 - Templars (Conspiracy, Shadow 3, Mystery Society, Coven, Contact: Master Hakuba, Access: Hakuba Shrine)

Note these birthrights come with her first Motifs, these are the ways that Kasumi uses her purviews and magic. So, she can either apply the invocations and incantations taught to her by the Templars... or she can engage in intimate conversation where she encourages the other person to bare their soul.

For the Innate Purview

Passion (Compassion)

For Boons:

Chaos: Loosen Chains - Allows her to Imbue 1 Legend to clear a person's mind or soul from an unnatural corrupting influence. To make it permanent she must interrupt the source of the influence (by defeating the sorcerer, ghost, demon, talisman, etc) A possessing entity is forced out of the victim's body as long as this is sustained. (A variation of the Marvel to clear a Condition where she can imbue instead of spend Legend. Which means I had to make sustaining it necessary)

Passion Boon: Tugging at Heartstrings

Legend becomes one and now I am going to do Calling Keywords and her Legendary Title:

Liminal Keyward: Oni

Sage Keyword: Concept, Soul

Psychopomp: Guide, Kindness

And for her first Legendary Title: The Nerima Oni.

That gives us the following version of Kasumi as a newly recruited Templar agent of extreme potential. Now, the version of Kasumi that is in the fanfic is probably Legend 2 or 3, has learned to use a shotgun, has acquired a Mutation ability similar to a titanspawn, and is generally more powerful. But this would represent the start of her Templar career when she was more support than badass.

Tendou Kasumi - The Nerima Oni

Primary Path: A Creature of Chaos and Compassion Skills: Occult, Subterfuge, Empathy

Secondary Path: Eldest Sister of the Tendou Family Skills: Culture, Integrity, Persuasion

Tertiary Path: Lost Two Battles to win the War Skills: Integrity, Occult, Subterfuge

Legend 1

Title: The Nerima Oni

Keywords:

Liminal: Oni

Psychopomp: Guide, Kindness

Sage: Concept, Soul

Skills

Athletics 1

Culture 3 (Suburbs)

Empathy 4 (Toxic Concepts, Desires)

Integrity 4 (Kindness, Temptation)

Occult 4 (Conceptual Magic)

Persuasion 3 (Gentle Nudge)

Subterfuge 4 (Overlooked)

Attributes

Mental

Intellect 2

Cunning 3

Resolve 3

Physical

Might 2

Dexterity 2

Stamina 3

Social

Presence 4

Manipulation 4

Composure 4

Callings

Liminal 1

Psychopomp 2

Sage 2

Knacks

General Knacks: Aura of Greatness, Scent of the Divine

Liminal Knacks: Flatlander

Psychopomp Knacks: Tending the Egg, This isn't everything you are

Sage Knacks: Master of the World, Presence of Magic

Purviews

Covenant (Birthright)

Passion (Compasison) - Innate

Chaos (Horns Birthright)

Darkness (Horns Birthright)

Boons

Chaos Boons: Loosen Chains

Passion Boons: Tugging the Heart Strings

Birthrights

Nerima Ward - Cult 2

Foundation: Community

Tags: Temple

Light 2, Shadow 1

Light Contact Connection: Shopkeepers

Light Access Connection: Community Center

Shadow Contact Connection: The Women of Nerima

Templars - Covenant 2

Physical Representation of Oath: Hakuba Shrine

Enhancement +2 dealing with Templars

Access to Covenant Purview

Motif: Ancient Occult Knowledge

Templars - Cult 2

Foundation: Conspiracy

Tags: Mystery Society, Coven

Shadow 3

Shadow Access Connection: Hakuba Shrine

Shadow Contact Connection: Master Hakuba

Oni Horns - Relic 3

Part of her body

Motif: Whispers to the Soul

Chaos Purview

Darkness Purview

[unhingedwomandiaries]

Another day, another tragedy. Today's burnt offering to chaos comes courtesy of Owassa, Oklahoma, where a transgender kid named Nex was bullied into an early grave. The specific details are murky (if not outright conspiratorial), but the broad outline is painfully clear: Kid gets harassed by small-minded jerks. Kid retaliates. Kid gets suspended. Kid sees no exit from an unlivable reality. Kid checks out. And we're left to pick through the ashen remains of a life that needn't have been sacrificed to the great volcanic maw of rural ignorance.

I can sadly relate to the hopelessness of being bullied as a kid. When I was 9 years old, some girl punched me in the eye during a fire drill just because she thought my curly hair made me look ugly. The teachers saw it, my classmates saw it, and nobody did a damn thing besides a half-hearted "stop it." My parents tried taking it to the administration and were stonewalled. The bullying only escalated from there. The cruel taunts over AOL Messenger in middle school, the relentless mocking about my awkward appearance. By 12 years old I had a suicide plan hatched, seeing no way out of the torment. Even asking to be homeschooled was denied by my own mother, who incredibly rationalized that "bullies are everywhere, just deal with it." Yeah, great advice.

So I know the feeling of wanting to just exit this reality altogether, to preemptively abandon a cruel existence that doesn't seem destined to improve. The self-hatred bullying breeds is a toxin. I'm grateful I hung on, but also still deeply angry at the cyclical abuse society allows under the guise of kids just "being kids." This normalization needs to end.

Which brings me back to poor Nex. What's the ultimate difference between homicide and suicide here? The semantics don't change the underlying truth: This kid was bullied to death. Whether the final blow came from an assailant or the victim's own hand is almost irrelevant—Nex died because small people have big fears, and they expressed those fears through cruelty. The school failed by suspending Nex instead of the perpetrators. The town failed by harboring the sort of anti-difference hatred that crushes gentle souls. Nex's parents failed by being unable to create a safe space. And we all fail when incidents like this just become think-pieces instead of catalysts for actual change.

This isn't a new story, sadly. It's the same tired tale conservatives love to ignore until it lands on their doorstep, then sweep under the rug with half-truths about psychoactive drugs and mental illness. The same culture war garbage that gets trotted out whenever reality inconveniences the regressive agenda. I can't muster much more energy than an exhausted sigh.

But here's the important part, penned directly to any LGBTQ+ youths who might find my diary: It gets better. Being a teenager is a temporarily horrific condition, but it won't last forever. The high school hellscape will eventually give way to a bigger world where you get to surround yourself with people who embrace your uniqueness. Everything feels terminal when you're young, but human existence is startlingly malleable. The alluring permanence of the grave ends up being the ultimate impermanence. You've got to hang in there and pursue the chance to build a life where rubbing others the wrong way isn't punished by ritualized torment.

It's tragic that Nex never got that opportunity. But we'd multiply the tragedy by allowing the next gender-nonconforming kid to meet the same fate. Maybe next time it'll be different. But today is just another day of profound disappointment in my fellow humans.

[thisismysecondrodeo]

I completely understand if you do not want to write this or feel comfortable writing it but I was hoping you might write a blurb about Ted finding out that his partner is medicated when she stays with him the first time and just not wanting her to feel bad about having to take medication for her mental health but if not it is okay you write lovely things so thank you either way

AN: This is a VERY good prompt. I don’t take medication myself, but I think everyone should feel empowered to take care of their mental health in the way that works for him without the stigma that comes with medication. I left the mental illness unspecified :)

Rating: Teen

Tags: gender neutral!reader, One Shot, Mental Health Issues, Medication, Emotional Support, Ted just being lovely

Fic masterlist

-

You hadn’t considered you had anything to hide when Ted spent the night for the first time. The two of you were incredibly open with each other, and you had actually spent the night at his place plenty of times, but, for no conscious reason on your part, you had never invited him to stay at yours. 

“I get it,” Ted waved a hand as you made the observation over dinner at the Crown & Anchor, “you probably live in a mansion, want to make sure I’m not just some gold digger before you let me into your inner sanctum.” 

“I believe you’ve been in my inner sanctum a number of times, love,” you teased with a raised eyebrow and voice dripping with innuendo. Ted sputtered on his beer and you laughed. “Seriously though, will you come stay tonight? It's so weird to me that you haven’t.” 

“Darlin’, if you’re inviting me because you think that I think it’s weird, you don’t have to. But if you’re inviting me because you want me there, then sure I’d love to spend the night at yours.” You smiled and nodded and Ted brought your hand up to his lips to brush a light kiss across your knuckles. 

But putting the key in your front door you were suddenly anxious: were there dishes in the sink? Did it smell weird? When was the last time you washed your towels? Ted, thankfully, didn’t seem to notice and instead busied himself looking at the art on your walls and asking about things around your house. It put you at ease to sit on the couch and watch Ted wander around in socked feet to ask how you ended up with a certain lamp or if you like to open your living room window in the morning. 

“Thanks for having me over,” Ted smiled as he sat on the couch next to you. “Your apartment—”

“Flat.”

“Flat. Is downright adorable.” Sometimes you felt bad pointing out Ted’s Americanisms but he had asked you to, and you leaned over to kiss him both for the compliment and the correction. You figured the two of you would maybe watch a movie or talk, but just that one kiss was enough to turn heated and any activity that wasn’t getting the older man in bed was out the window. 

In no time at all you were in Ted’s lap, your shirt off and his tongue in your mouth like a couple of teenagers. Ted had a firm grip on your waist and he broke away to kiss down your neck and across your collarbone. 

“Ted,” you said breathily, weaving your hands into his thick brown hair as his mouth continued working against your chest, “bedroom, please.” 

“As you wish,” Ted grinned, standing up with you still in his laps and holding you steady until your feet were solidly on the floor. “You might have to help me get there.” 

You chuckled and walked backwards, pulling Ted with you by the belt and unfastening it as you went, pausing every few feet to kiss passionately. You flipped your positions as you entered your bedroom, and pushed Ted onto your bed, tumbling onto the bedspread after him, ready and eager. 

Some time later, the two of you laid naked and sated under your quilted bedspread and talked in soft tones. You traced the lines of his face, his eyebrows, his mustache and he kissed the tip of your finger. 

“It’s gettin’ late darlin’ we should clean up and go to bed,” Ted whispered, tickling your waist and you groaned. 

“Fineeee, you first. There’s a spare toothbrush in the medicine cabinet.” Ted kissed you and hopped out of bed and you curled back into the warm empty space. You listened as he flushed the toilet, ran water in the sink, opened the medicine cabinet….

Oh, shit, the medicine cabinet. Where you literally kept your medication, which you hadn’t talked to Ted about. 

You jumped out of bed and threw on Ted’s sweater from the heap of both of your clothes on the floor and skidded into the bathroom without knocking. Ted looked up at you concerned, one hand holding the door to the cabinet and the other holding the toothbrush. 

“Somethin’ wrong sweetie?” 

“I, uh,” your eyes flicked between Ted and the medicine cabinet. “No, sorry, it’s just…” You trailed off and sighed.

“You’re, uh, kinda worrying me there sweetie,” Ted set the toothbrush down and turned to face you, which made it even harder to speak so you covered your face with your hands. 

“I freaked out when I realized I keep my medication…in the medicine cabinet and it’s just, I don’t know, embarrassing, but I was going to tell you…” 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Ted said, stepping closer and drawing you into his embrace, “first of all, I saw it getting the toothbrush and didn’t think anything of it. Second of all, you don’t owe me an explanation for anythin’. Your medication is your business.” 

You took a deep breath, comforted by the weight and warmth of Ted’s arms around you. “I don’t want to be embarrassed by it, but..it's for my mental illness.” 

“Sweetheart, there’s nothing embarrassing about taking care of yourself. You know about my panic attacks, and you’ve never made me feel embarrassed for even a second.” 

“Of course not,” you responded quickly. You’d never think of making Ted feel bad about that. “I actually felt a little guilty that you told me about your panic attacks and I didn’t tell you about my medication.” 

“Oh trust me, I understand the hesitation. As someone who’s had their mental health splashed all throughout the tabloids it’s certainly not the easiest thing to discuss, but I’d certainly never hold that against you. I’m proud of you,” Ted punctuated the statement with a kiss to your forehead and you looked up at him in surprise. 

“You are?” 

“‘Course I am! Doin’ what’s right for you even when it’s not easy, that’s somethin’ to be proud of. Now, why don’t you take your turn in the bathroom and we can get back to cuddlin’ and you can tell me more about it if you feel up to it.” 

You pressed a firm, meaningful kiss to Ted’s lips. You couldn’t believe you’d gotten so lucky. You cleaned yourself up and brushed your teeth quickly so you could dive back into the warmth and love that awaited you. 

[projectbluearcadia]

Boo-Hoo, Such A Tragedy

[ Trigger Warning - Self-Hatred Friendly reminder to please take care of your mental health. People care about you. Reader Discretion Advised ]

Lucifer and Annelie are surrounded by a crowd of people chattering around covered tables full of refreshments and free trinkets, pamphlets and information sheets.

Lucifer: It’s a bit crowded...

Annelie: I think there’s some kind of LGBTQ+ event going on right now. I see some pride flags.

Lucifer glances at Annelie. 

Lucifer: “Pride” flags?

She points at a blue, pink and white pride flag, not getting Lucifer’s joke.

Annelie: I’m pretty sure that one’s supposed to represent transgender pride. As far as I know, there are specific color codes for each gender and sexuality. 

She pauses before she starts laughing. 

Lucifer: What?

Annelie: No, I just had the absurd thought that because I’m strictly cisgender, white, and heterosexual, I’m colorless.

Lucifer: No, not colorless. 

Annelie glances at Lucifer curiously. 

Lucifer: One color. 

He smirks as he kisses her cheek. 

Yeah... that’s right. One color. One very beautiful, iridescent blue that could never be produced by any dye. 

Annelie: Considering that’s a remark about my sexuality, that’s really possessive of you. 

Lucifer: And? 

A mousey girl tries to catch the pair’s attention. 

???: Hello? Hey, wait, Anne is that y—

Annelie: Can I take one of these buttons?

Annelie refuses to meet the girl’s eyes, instead staring downward as she points to a button reading “YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”

???: Well, yeah, of course. Everything you see on the tables is free.

Annelie: I’ll take it then. 

Annelie takes hold of Lucifer’s arm and drags him through the crowd at a brisk pace. 

Lucifer: And what was that about?

Annelie: ...I’d rather not talk about it here. 

Annelie brings him several blocks away, well out of the crowd, before she sits down onto a park bench underneath the shade of a flowering dogwood. 

Annelie: I wasn’t expecting to see her again...

Lucifer: And who was she?

Annelie: ...there was... a time in my life where I experimented. 

Lucifer: You mean she’s your ex-girlfriend?

Annelie laughs. 

Annelie: I wouldn’t go that far. But, well, she did take up a lot of my time and emotional space. She asked to cuddle me once, and I felt so physically ill the second she settled herself that I thought I was going to vomit. We didn’t part on good terms, and while I know she’s doing better now away from her shitty family, seeing her again is... I can’t remember a lot of good experiences. 

Annelie smiles hollowly. 

Annelie: I feel like I still owe her something even though I’ve given her plenty of my time that I wasn’t willing to give up. It’s so stupid that I can’t even talk to her now because I’m afraid of snapping at her. 

Lucifer: ...she has no idea about any of this, does she?

Annelie: Are you kidding? What good would telling her do when she already thought of herself as a burden? Every word out of my mouth made her feel worse and if I ever told her that she was stressing me out, it would have... She never listened to me. Compliments might as well have been insults to that girl.

Annelie suddenly covers her mouth and averts her eyes from Lucifer. 

...This is why I didn’t want to come back.   

Annelie: I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to go on a rant like that. 

You’re a rotten person, Annelie. 

Annelie hides under the brim of her hat, hunching over and shifting her weight as she presses her palms together. 

Y̸o̷u̴'̵v̴e̵ ̶a̶l̷w̶a̸y̴s̶ ̸b̶e̸e̴n̸ ̶l̴i̶k̵e̵ ̵t̶h̸i̴s̴.̵

Annelie: It just... it hurt when she... despite everything...

T̶͛̔̆ͅh̷̞̟̮̥̆̕ē̴̤r̴͕͒e̴̪͈͍͝ ̸͕͍͒͌i̶̤̙͓͌͘ͅs̴̢̗͕͖̍̄̾́ ̴̟̔̕̚n̴̲̥͆̐̾͝ŏ̶̓͜͠ ̵͖̺͂̇͒̀s̶̼̻̈̓̊ü̶̮̜̣̕̚c̴̥̈̿̄͘h̵̢͖̯̘͆̀ ̵̟͍͓̘̾̈̓ṭ̶͎̤̉́͒ḧ̸̨̦̮́ĩ̴͍͠n̵̖͙͙̊̽͆g̴̠͈͇̐̀̇ ̷͙͎̐̿͝ä̸͕͎̙̳́̍s̸̠̈̿ ̴̢̬̮̆́͑͝"̶̧̡̺̿l̴̰̺͂͌̈́͠o̵͎͌̐́v̸͍̽̇͛e̵̢͖̰͐͑̅͘"̴̝͆͗ ̶̮̺̉̄̂͠f̷̩̹̳̝̀̇̆o̴͙͍̥͊̂r̴̩̞̩̀̃̈́̽ ̵̘̫̾͛̂a̵͖̗͉̓̉͋ ̸̲̻̅̽̉p̶̩̻͕͇̊̾e̸̜̱̻̝̍r̷̳͚̔̄̑͂s̸͖̲̈́ö̷̙̥̓ǹ̶̻̝̪̻ ̸͓͘ĺ̸̗̼̿ͅi̴̗̇͌k̸͎̜̣̠̊̋̕͝ė̷̛̘͖̐̍ͅ ̴͈̈́͜ÿ̷̳͔́͗ŏ̶̢̭̘̰̔̾̊u̶̩̣̦͒̋.̶̝̤͌͑

Lucifer: Wai—Annelie!

Annelie bolts, her white dress fluttering in the breeze as Lucifer starts chasing after her. 

[selznick-writes-stuff]

Unconditional Love

haikyuu fanfic

My interpretation of the song told through a ftm trans Yachi coming to terms with his gender.

Inspired by Unconditional Love by Against Me!

Everyone had their secrets. Small ones like not having brushed your teeth last night or not knowing how to tie shoes until you were 14. Small ones that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things but would be embrassing if people knew. Or bigger ones that only those you trust can know. Bigger ones like mental illnesses that make you feel vunerable or your sexuality people would hate you for. Some people have even bigger secrets that no one but themself knows. Yachi had one of those secrets.

Yachi hated how she looked, which wasn't the secret - it was a secret, sure. Just, well, that's common, not liking how you look. Sometimes Yachi cut herself on purpose but that also wasn't the secret. Again, it was a secret but lots of people self-harm (and it's not like she's suicidal so does it really count?) No, those weren't Yachi's biggest secret. Her biggest secret was that she's trans. Well, maybe.

They didn't really know. She didn't want her hair short like a boy's but she'd tried it. They had put gum in their hair by the top so it had to be cut short. It was a bowl-cut and looked kind of awkward but it made them happy. Even happier when someone mistook them for a boy (on account of her wearing trousers, having short hair and her tits not having grown that noticeably at the time). They felt so happy. But having short hair isn't that fun when you can't braid it and mess with it so they'd decided to grow it out again. She didn't want short hair like a boy but she equally didn't want long hair like a girl. A purgatory of cutting and growing out her hair because it never felt right didn't make her happy either.

She didn't want her tits either. She had always been unhappy with them though never really knowing why. She had once thought she wanted bigger tits, that she was upset because they were small but her tits grew from AA cups to A cups to B cups and they still were unhappy with them. No one had mistaken them for a boy in a while and it was definitely her tits that were the culprit. It wasn't like she hated tits in general because they had seen tits on other girls and didn't hate them (she loved them, she was gay, God blame her) so it wasn't tits that was the problem. It was tits on her own body that was the problem. So they didn't want tits.

Her hips and legs were wrong too. Wide and fluffy with fat while the rest of her body was skinny. It made them want to puke sometimes. How she looked and how she walked was because she was a girl. They didn't like it. Didn't like that skirts showed her legs or that trousers outlined her hips. She didn't know if her butt was big but sometimes it felt like it was and sometimes she hated it and sometimes she remembered girls tend to have larger legs and hips and bums. It's where the body stores extra fat that might be needed in pregnancy. They remembered that from biology class.

She hated her body hair as well. But that was for a different reason than the others. Not because she had it but because she couldn't have it. Women shave (or wax) their legs and armpits and pussy. Any hair on your face was a no and it made her feel so self-conscious. She had to shave - couldn't not shave! She was be wrong then. Not normal. Weird. So she would ignore how happy she felt with leg hair and shave. Maybe she shaved less than other girls, spaced it out more, but she shaved her legs. She didn't shave their cunt though, no one would see so they could have this. She couldn't have chest or face or back hair for a different reason entirely - they just didn't have any. It didn't grow. At least she didn't need to worry about shaving it. Just long to have any instead.

So maybe they'd imagined being a boy sometimes. Wondered what having a dick would be like. Longed for a flat chest and a beard. It didn't mean anything.

She didn't want short hair like a boy. So it couldn't mean anything.

That was before she became a manager for the Karasuno Volleyball Club. Asahi had terrified them - even with long hair. And it's not like she didn't know men can have long hair and still be masculine. It had just never struck that close to them before. And he had fuzz on his chin! Dachi had thicc thighs too. Muscular, not fat like Yachi's though. Tanaka also had no hair on his chest (she knew from how much he whipped his shirt off), although he did have muscles to make up for it that Yachi didn't.

The thing with sports clubs is that they get close. Form strong bonds. Karasuno Volleyball Club even more so than others. Everyone was friends with everyone else - even Asahi didn't scare them anymore! She didn't really realise how much they trusted each other until Kinoshita had to sit out at one practice. Narita asked her to get a hot waterbottle for him while Kinoshita swallowed some tablets.

"Usually I'd ask Kiyoko but she's talking to the coach about him sitting out, I hope it's not a bother," Narita scratched the back of his head. "Not a bother - it's what I'm here for!" Yachi squeaked before scurrying off to the office. She had a hot waterbottle in her bag that would be nicer than anything the school had but they wanted to use a kettle the heat the water rather than waiting for whatever came out of the sinks to turn warmish. After that was sorted, she scurried back and handed it to Kintoshita.

"Uggrh, thanks," he groaned, "Narita lied before though, Kiyoko had her period last week and had to leave that day. You remember when she wasn't at practice last Wednesday, right? Yeah, thought the school would be a bit more helpful if it was you that asked then."

It took Yachi maybe longer than it should to realise exactly why Kinoshita needed the hot waterbottle. He was having period cramps like they do sometimes. And, god, it made her stop and consider what they actually felt. Because maybe it wasn't just self-conscious self-hatred that inspired self-harm. Maybe they were... No. He could be though...

The reflection that stared back in their bedroom wasn't right. It never was. Never had been. How he hadn't noticed they didn't know. The scars on their arms and legs had never fully faded from the last time she had cut (even if it had been months ago) but he ignored them. The only thing they wanted to hurt were the tits. Those godforsaken tits. No one had mistaken him for a boy since those tits had grown. ...grown.

So blood drew.

It felt better than they had expected. Something felt right in the anger that cut into her. He just wanted the tits gone. ...gone.

But still it was his biggest secret.

They didn't know why. It wasn't logical to keep it secret - the club wouldn't care. They'd accept him, help him and still care about him. Their mother would be accepting - she'd accepted his cousin being non-binary and that Yachi was a lesbian. So why couldn't she tell them she wasn't a lesbian but a trans straight man. He didn't know. His mother could help him to start transitioning. Would probably push Yachi to talk for himself more but would help. He could get rid of those tits, grow long hair and a beard, have all the body hair in the world and no one would care because he was a man, not a girl. And everyone that he cared about would accept and help him. He knew that. So why couldn't he just. Say Something.

Even though their love is unconditional it's still his biggest secret.

[cg-saturn]

Haii ish me leo, what's a terf? I'm sorry but I dunno much words

CW- transphobia mention

NOT LITTLE RELATED

Hi Leo! Terf stands for "trans - exclusionary radical feminists". They're a yucky group of (mostly) cis* women who believe both radfem* ideas and that trans people are just 'confused' somehow. Unfortunately, a lot of people still think being trans or gender nonconforming is a choice or mental illness. The only "choice" we have as trans people is whether or not we allow ourselves to be who we are or silently suffer with crawling skin and constant longing.

Most people who follow these ideas consider themselves feminists, but in reality still believe in the idea of a superior sex, and want to see a matriarchy instead of a patriarchy, or an afab*-dominated world. A famous example of a terf is Valerie Solanas, the author of the Scum Manifesto in the 1960s. She, along with many others, believed that amab* and afab people should basically switch stereotypical roles. As a radicalist, she spread the idea that amab's should be made slaves to afab's, and a lot of other hate towards all amab people including violent threats and even being known for shooting Andy Warhol (who did, we can all admit, deserved it- just not for the reason she did it, plus he survived so... c'mon how bad could it have been, she was an awful shot /j).

Most terfs have some tendency of hating amabs, but they ALL believe that trans people are invalid and/or 'wrong'. Even modern day, we have current terfs in the media- like the author of Harry Potter, she who shall not be named. She's been well known to make anti-trans remarks and yet still claim the cover of "feminism", claiming trans people have inherently evil intentions and need to be kept away from others for 'safety' reasons. She's not the only anti-trans 'feminist' today either. Unfortunately, there's many people out there who still think we're 'dangerous' or 'dirty' for being authentic.

As a member of the trans community, I can say- without a doubt- that no one wants to go through all the trouble of passing* just to come watch you use the public bathroom. No one. And if you're worried about that happening, why not introduce single stall bathrooms to provide both privacy and comfort for everyone, like the one in your own home. The only thing that matters in my pants is what I'm trying not to get on them /hj

Anyway, I'm going to just stop this here because there's a lot more I could say but that's not what this account is about. Everything on my dni list is designed to keep me personally happy and comfortable in my safe space. I can't control what other people do and don't interact with or believe in, but I can control my own online area. Not everything in my dni is something i consider bad, i just dont want to see it! (Terfs, however, are bad). Just don't interact with me. I don't need to hear if someone disagrees, just simply don't interact, block me or whatever you need to do, and move on. That's the great thing about the internet, if you have a different opinion you can just simply find a different account to follow.

♡♡♡

*'YOU' IS NOT IN REFERENCE TO LEO, IT IS A GENERALIZED PRONOUN TO THOSE WHO IT APPLIES TO (yes, "you" is a pronoun)*

Acronyms and weird words:

Cis*- a person who identifies with their assigned birth gender

Radfem* - radical feminist, such as those named above

Afab* - assigned female at birth

Amab* - assigned male at birth

Passing* - when trans people take measures towards outwardly presenting as their real gender (hair styles, outfit choices, surgery, etc).

-

Dni: k!nk/nsfw, maps, terfs, homophobes, transphobes, anti-agere, furries

[firespirited]

Mum accidentally ended up under a pile on when she said death threats against DV survivors were not okay when JKR was brought up by someone totally ignorant of the past decade's drama and the very angry very sweary 'death to joanne' replies poured in. She was then labelled a terf by some teenagers for asking why their anger was directed at jkr and not the tories in power which made clear she was British and an older woman.

She's very literal and doesn't believe in death threats against paedophiles either, just that they should be locked up. That's just how she is... Readmore for length.

So I had to explain what trans exclusionary radical feminists were, how they labelled themselves & it's not a slur and how outrage online isn't rational and often isn't focused at the systemic issues but fallen heroes also often turn into the biggest scapegoats.

The thing that really got to her was the disproportionate energy people had for hating jkr but not other authors or politicians who are far worse, the energy for outrage but no political/community engagement elsewhere.

I wasn't really able to explain why people have energy to be mad at jkr but don't do any offline activism or even get that angry at politicians, there's a sort of passivity, the sense that the game is rigged I guess but people feel maybe they might have the power to make jkr uncomfortable talking smack about marginalised people in public ??

It's hard to explain, on some level I feel like people enjoy bullying and when there is a righteous reason then it's ok to engage in such "fun". On the other, I'm seeing this strange manifestation of trauma where people will be vicious with people who fail to live up to perfection (and that definitely includes trans women - think Hot Allostatic Load: it's a great article that explains something I've seen play out too many times but also isabel fall and the lady who made the mistake of griping about being locked out of the local lesbian scene and ended up painted as the evil pervert who coined the cotton ceiling - she was just really lonely and rightfully sad) with the stored anger and pain that deserved to be directed at multiple systemic issues and instead comes out like a firehose on a peer who is no longer a 'good' peer so they're the enemy. I'd love to read any psych studies but I'm not sure what key words. I know a lot of people are noticing this: energy for rage, apathy for even minor changes we can make. I've seen multiple "stop with the 'omg look at this terf who deserves to die' when you're just retraumatizing trans people by boosting" in the same way that people of colour had to beg for folks to stop boosting black and brown people being brutalised, just graphically making people relive that trauma but please boost actions and learning instead. You know what I'm talking about? Right.

I know the world is terrifying right now but the way social media has raised folks to channel it is not healthy let alone constructive. I'm not sure how to help and not sure how mum can ever regain her purity in the eyes of the little book group she's in. She doesn't like gender, she's actually long been gender non conforming but doesn't know any of the vocabulary. She's still processing trauma from DV and being in a cult so being told how to think gets her hackles up even when she's trying to be as logical and fair as possible. I'm scared the gender crits will reach out and say "hey we're real feminists who care about women, we don't even hate trans folk, come hang out with us and leave behind the rude meanies".

I don't know where to start. With pretty much all other marginalisations we have had people in our life to relate to. Mum's got lesbian, gay, black, Muslim, jewish, sex worker, disabled and mentally ill friends but zero point of reference for trans folk above 14-15 (a friend's child is autiqueer). If any of her friends came out as trans she'd be eating every book available and ready to advocate for them at doctors appointments but right now it's just an abstract concept that makes no sense when she's never been feminine enough to be more than a failed woman and never been that attached to gender.

How do you explain gender dysphoria to someone who's never experienced gender euphoria?

This is someone who never once questioned the anger behind some black lives matter posts, never took wypipo or 'white woman tears' personally because of course anger comes out messy and of course people don't like to think they're racist and have to deliberately learn to be anti racist and will mess up.

The problem here is that it's very hard to talk gender with someone alienated from anything gender related except misogyny.

I remember back when I got into feminism and she'd given up on all that because it didn't have anything to say for working class women who love men. Womanism had the keys to her heart: loving men + hating the patriarchy that crushes their souls along with yours, not wanting the capitalist dream but a different society.

If you've read this far you deserve dog pics, thank you for letting me rant. I'm going to try and find some books by older trans men and women from similar working class backgrounds (no showbiz) and some intro to Judith Butler. Maybe something on the left eating it's own to explain why these younguns don't know how to just boycott and never listen to jkr again.

Replies are welcome, reblogs not. This is delicate and personal. Please have grace. She's trying. I'm trying.

[fakeboitherottengirl]

Do you not wish for a world where women don't have to fear, I suppose we'll say "males", in the same locker room? Do you not believe feminism can create that world? And if you do, but believe trans women are still too tainted by male socialization growing up, how should it begin?

I do support certain spaces being segregated by birth sex. AFAB people of all genders deserve a safe penis-free space when it comes to things like bathrooms and prisons and hospitals and contact sports and women's shelters. I believe that feminism is our best chance for pushing back against a world without sex-based protections. I also believe Afab people should be made a protected group under hate crime laws and that femicide, rape, domestic battery, etc should be recognized as the hate crimes that they are.

I don't think trans women are "tainted" by male socialization, or that they experience gendered socialization like somebody without dysphoria would, especially if they transition young or have childhood dysphoria and live their lives with the world feeling like an ill-fitting suit. I think that is a unique experience from how cis men are socialized and internalize that socialization. My trans women friends are completely different from my cis male friends and the ones I know are some of the most harmless people I ever met who just decided they were sick of the machismo bullshit and wanted to be soft and enjoy cute things and find make up and fashion fun and just feel more confident in their skin with a skirt and lipstick and god bless them, its no skin off my ass and it makes the mortifying ordeal of being perceived a little softer Im not going to begrudge them that.

I also knew all my MtF friends back before they transitioned and even as males they were trusted. My closest MtF friend who is going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding literally kicked down a door and saved me mid-rape from a neighborhood boy who was taking liberties with my passed-out body. She's also schizoaffective and has gone through periods of believing she was a prophet before when we were teens, so "refer to me as a woman" feels downright reasonable next to past requests like "refer to me as god/the voice of god". I also have plenty of FtM friends, Im going to have at least one "bridesman" at my wedding.

I love trans people, I love gender non conformity, I want trans people to live their lives with safety and dignity and for them to be accommodated with spaces tailored to their needs. I think the best solution is to separate spaces by birth sex instead of gender (two beige bathrooms, one says "urinals" and one says "Sanitary Product Disposal") and by creating restrooms/locker rooms/sports leagues specifically to accommodate trans people FOR EVERYBODY'S SAFETY (it is not fair or safe to expect people on HRT especially trans women with bone density loss from artificial estrogen to participate in contact sports with people who have cis bodies, nor is it fair to have trans men on T competing against cis women when T is considered a performance enhancing supplement).

I believe that through comradery, empathy, and mutual understanding we can find that there is more than enough room in the world for all kinds, we just need to be respectful of each other. As for how it should begin, it has already begun, but I think a big step that needs to be taken is recognizing gender dysphoria as a mental illness and researching treatment options other than cosmetic transition, and making more spaces with trans inclusion in mind. But im much more worried for the trans man who has to change his tampon in the dangerous men's room than I am about the trans woman who needs to take a piss in the stall next to me and minds her own business and washes her hands when she is finished.

[dreadisdelight]

PLEASE DONT READ IT YOURE SENSITIVE TO LGBTQIA+ TOPICS!!!!!!!!:

sometimes i just sit there and wonder what i identify as.

i grew up in an area where i didn't have much representation of anything, "gay" was an insult and colours were dedicated to specific chromosomes. if you grazed football as a girl, you were seen as a tomboy alongside if you even looked at claires you were just odd. i think some messed up part of me still believes that, despite every fibre in my being disagreeing with it. there wasn't much representation of being homosexual in a form or another, mainly just jacqueline wilson books i peered into with such curiosity and utmost wonder.

it sort of struck me that i was different when i was much younger too. hell, sleepovers with girls scared me since they smelled so "sweet" or they were much prettier than me. we all watched films with the odd kissing scene and wanted to peer into the mirror, maybe attempt at looking into it without shame. it didn't stick, yet it didn't wipe off. i kissed a girl on her cheek in my bedroom when i was about nine, fags the most ive ever done, and i don't count it fully either. i kissed a girl on her hand too but still, that doesn't count in my books. nobody ever had the "it's okay to be gay" talk with me but they never had the "being gay is a sin" either. it just sat uncomfortably in the room. all the pins and homemade flags were just pretty colours opposed to something with significance in this world. ive tossed the majority of the relics besides a pin i bought when i had a sense of freedom for the first time but that's about it at most. we still haven't talked about it, and we don't intend on it either.

i remember my mom watching a tv programme with me, her eyes flickering towards me whilst saying "i don't get why people come out. i get where she was coming from, as if it was natural, but she was also the figure who never brought up these sort of conversations. the woman who made me feel a sense of crushing burden when i felt a sense of anger. i just shrugged it off, and never gave my views on the matter. i think if i had the confidence, i would have said something along the lines of "it's because we live in a society where showing who you really are needs courage".

i think i did tell her i was pansexual when i was younger too, this was during a mist of things where id say random bullshit to them as a joke, hoping they'd want to linger nearby. i haven't said a word yet.

gender was another thing that puzzled me, which still does. i never really thought much about it, i just thought you were female, male, or non-binary. that's it. no more options, just three buttons and you could click one. i used to lie awake, my mind thinking about issues for me to go 'holy shit am i trans??' which obviously still happens; why would i be writing this out otherwise? i dipped into being demigirl to nonbinary to immediately agender and i sort of sat there, sticking a label on it like they have to me with other diagnoses. i go from wanting big tits and being the epitome of feminine beauty to wanting to have top surgery and going by a new name. i know gender is a spectrum, but some part of me knows everyone around me wouldn't accept me, thinking im more mentally ill than i am.

i don't know why i decided to type this out either. maybe to give myself clarity instead of chastising myself for what's happened in my world.

ive only ever dated afabs. one cis. one somewhere between demigirl and nonbinary and the other transmasc. i know i hurt them one way or another, and so did they. i speak to one of them a few times now and again but for the other two, i apologised to one of recent and it's stuck to my mind. the other i fucked up so bad it hurts to look into a mirror. i think amabs scare me and i don't know why. i attach myself to older guys in films and loosely to other people, remarrying shane in stardew over and over again. one minute i have a preference and then it drastically changes.

my friend once said that people who are lgbtqia+ must have some evolutionary default in them, which i believe heavily. i have autism and probably some other stuff undiagnosed (my autism is clinically diagnosed yall) so that checks out. i saw a survey a while back that most people who are lgbtqia+ are diagnosed professionally or self with something along the lines of adhd, autism, and other mental disorders. but that's all we are. disordered motions, grasping onto conclusion.

maybe one day i will find somebody and it will make perfect sense. maybe i won't find anybody. for now, i know that i can only try, and when i try i collapse in tears wondering why nobody likes me.

[glendorarecoverycenter]

Batters Intervention Program for Court Approved Rehab

When people decide to go through a rehabilitation program (either voluntarily or through a court mandate), they can choose from a variety of options. For some people, court-approved rehab programs may be the best choice. These programs are intended for criminals who have battled addiction and are currently coping with the consequences of their actions. For those prepared to put in the effort and make the required changes in their lives, they can be a great option. As part of our court-approved services, a battered intervention program is also available for anyone struggling to manage a battering violent behavior.

An Introduction to Batterer Intervention Programs Batterer Intervention Programs (BIP) are targeted toward batterers in order to provide education as well as rehabilitation regarding violent behavior. Some people attend voluntarily and some by court order. The purpose of BIPs is to alter the mindset and actions of offenders in order to increase victim safety, hold offenders accountable, and lessen the chance of additional acts of violence. Through education and accountability, the program tries to ensure that the person has the necessary awareness to make better decisions.

Battering: What Is It? Battering does not always or necessarily come from rage, mental illness, or the use of drugs or alcohol. Instead, it is a learned practice that is frequently driven by the abusive partner’s conscious or unconscious desire to control the victim. Battering is primarily a deliberate activity, yet occasionally people exhibit spontaneous, angry behavior or an inability to manage their emotions. This violent behavior is grounded in logic and exhibits rationality, which reduces the likelihood that it is the result of mental disease.

Battering Behavior Can Take Multiple Forms Verbal abuse by a battering partner is also considered a strong form of violence regardless of what many people might think, such behavior is frequently used to lower the victim’s self-esteem and stop the victim from exiting the relationship and leaving the violent partner. Physical violence towards a partner can take the form of punching, beating, pushing or shoving, choking, object hurling, the use of a weapon, burning, or preventing the spouse from leaving. It could also include refusing to seek medical attention for a partner who is ill or injured, abandoning their partner in a dangerous zone, and any forms of intimidation.

How Can a Battering Intervention Program Help? Battering intervention programs have evolved in a lot of ways, changes have been made  In order to better serve the community, protect victims, and further reduce recidivism, The ability to provide services to men who do not speak English, teenage boys (who are at risk of learning violent behavior when witnessing domestic violence from a young age), and abusive partners in same-sex relationships may be made possible in some areas with increased funding for these programs. A few services are also accessible for women who mistreat their partners or offspring.

In addition to learning new ways of thinking about and reacting to stressful situations, the main goal of anger management is helping people identify what triggers their feelings so they can avoid those triggers or choose different responses than they previously used when they were upset or frustrated by them. For example: if being yelled at makes someone feel very agitated but yelling back only makes things worse for everyone involved then it might be helpful for this person not to yell back next time he/she finds himself/herself in such an emotional situation instead try talking calmly until he/she calms down enough so that he/she doesn’t feel like yelling anymore, either way, both options prevent future arguments

The programs also aim to promote gender equality in relationships and typically instruct participants on how to recognize and describe the type of abuse they have engaged in, accept responsibility for the abuse, and find nonviolent solutions instead of resorting to violence. This often aids participants in learning to develop a nonviolent response to behavior that they might otherwise react to violently.

A Therapist May Also Help You Develop Strategies For Coping With Triggers That Cause You To Get Angry. A therapist may also help you develop strategies for coping with triggers that cause you to get angry. In therapy, a therapist will teach you how to use relaxation techniques and deep breathing exercises in order to calm yourself down. The therapist can also show you how to identify possible triggers and develop ways of avoiding them or dealing with them before they become an issue.

A good anger management treatment program will provide you with the information and guidance necessary to develop better-coping skills so that your anger doesn’t get out of control or cause problems in your life.

Anger can be hard to manage on your own; professional help can be beneficial.

This is particularly useful if you’re dealing with more serious issues like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). If so, finding an anger management program will likely be part of your treatment plan.

Intervention Programs That Work At the Glendora Recovery Center, one of the ways we may assist people who are battling addiction is through court-approved programs. Through our intensive outpatient, aftercare, and other programs, we have assisted so many people in overcoming their addictions (as well as their underlying causes) so that they can live the life they desire. We are available to assist you if you need us. Our telephone number is (626) 263-5543.