#oh my god its actually freaking done

[rata2ouillegame]

RATA2OUILLE: THE PERFECT DISH (Info Post + Download)

You’re probably wondering, “what the hell?” Honestly so am I, as not even I can fully process what I’ve done. Rata2ouille: The Perfect Dish (AKA Funny Ratgame) is a satirical, freeware indie platformer, social simulation, full length role-playing hybrid game. Following the events of Ratatouille for Wii and its sequel Ratatouille PSP, a new adventure unfolds after a series of events leads to the protagonist discovering a mysterious world known as the Food Network. Partnering up with an odd naked mole rat named Twinkles, the protagonist forms the Rodent Risers, braving the Food Network to find the mythical Perfect Ingredients and defeat the brutally evil rat Knox. Along the way, the player will have to develop Companion Syncs with both coworkers and customers, craft and obtain Persona to wield in combat, manage their restaurant, cook food that will assist them on their journey, and more.

itch.io page: Click Here

Google Drive: Download Link

Archive.org: Download Link

Please feel free to upload and share with your friends wherever you feel like if they have trouble with either of these links!!!

Unravel a grandiose conspiracy involving the amnesiac Twinkles, the evil rat Knox, the mysterious Food Network, the labyrinthine Hyperstream, fast food delivery apps, and an impending visit from the food critic Guy Fieri that could make-or-break your restaurant!

Fight intense battles with Shadows that you can also wield as Persona. Use them to best your enemies and rivals, like Ratatoing!

Form various Companion Syncs to deepen your bond with important figures in your life to unlock skills and gameplay perks!

Date various cute boyfriends! Only one girlfriend included.

Over 100 characters from various different media properties appear as customers in your restaurant, including... Sans Undertale, Peter Griffin, Yu Narukami, Kazuma Kiryu, Joseph Joestar, Bayonetta, and many, many, many more!

Customize your hero! Set pronouns and unlock over thirty unique costumes that appear both in cutscenes and gameplay!

Obtain all seven of the legendary Chaos Emeralds by succeeding in target breaking minigames hidden throughout the Food Network!

Difficulty adjustments and options, such as the “Skip Battles” pog item that can be equipped to skip all battles and focus purely on the story! Perfect for players that do not care for combat.

Create your own “My Food Network” where you can set your own favorite song to play, choose your color palette, create a food exhibit, and set posters that can be unlocked using points earned from in-game achievements!

Super cool players that 100% the game can view a Secret Ending that plays upon clearing the epilogue or talking to a certain friend in My Food Network...

This game is in no way, shape, or form an actual Disney, Pixar, or Atlus product. It is an independently developed satirical game. It is parody and no profit is being made from it.

Check out more down below for a little Q&A

Q: Is this really a full length Persona style RPG? A: Yes. I’m sorry, I don’t know why. It’s about 60 Hours long.

Q: How long did this take to make? A: About two and a half years, though I took many breaks from working on it due to being a full time college student (after some gap years) and having other projects I’ve been working on.

Q: Who made this? What kind of person makes this? Can you tell us about yourself because I need to know what’s wrong with you??? A: I’m very sorry to tell you that a very hot goth artsy nonbinary femboy made this game. I hope that makes the game more intimidatingly powerful.

Q: If this is a heavily Persona inspired game will it be re-released with a single new dungeon in a few years with a new marketable character tacked on? A: Buddy if enough people find this funny and enjoy playing it, you know it! That and if enough people would like to help me add full blown voice acting in a re-release, which would be one of my major focuses for an enhanced version.

Q: Why did you make this? A: I was really bored during the pandemic. Originally this was a small crude gag game I was making years and years and years ago that I scrapped, but I completely revamped it into something much more elaborate and surreal as a little distraction to keep me busy while quarantining. It sort-of functioned as a low stakes testing ground for less facetious games I plan on releasing in the near future. There’s also an underlying commentary on how obnoxious and outlandish unnecessary sequels to self-contained and subdued stories are, which can be seen in how ridiculously unhinged the game is with constantly recontextualizing various minute-details of the original movie and retconning things as if it was all deep foreshadowing.

Q: Why are you acting like Ratatouille is some kind of game series? A: In the past, in the really early beginnings of making this game, I had this whole elaborate ARG thing I would often joke about with friends where I would insist the movie was just a really bad faithless adaption of a video game series developed by Platinum Games and published by Atlus. There were jokes about the name “Remy” being a “dumb movie adaption thing” and that Ratatouille is in fact the proper name. The implication was that the “Disney movie adaption” was so bad it killed off the game series until this sequel came out well over a decade later due to “vocal fan support.” This eventually died down a bit, but some of the ironic ARG stuff has lingered. One part of the ARG was originally going to be that there were two people working on this game instead of one and that they’d have a messy public falling out on the game’s tumblr blog, but this was scrapped because it felt too explosive lol.

Q: What do you mean by this being a sequel to Ratatouille for Wii and Ratatouille PSP? Aren’t those the same game? A:  While the Ratatouille tie-in game on most consoles was just a movie adaption, the PSP version was one of those weird tie-in games that takes place after the movie. I never beat the game but the plot entails Chef Skinner stealing all the recipe cards from the new restaurant around the time of their grand opening, and Rem- Ratatouille having to retrieve them. This is recited as some sort of major, melodramatic event in Rata2ouille. Ratatouille PSP has a lot of scrapped side-characters from the movie appear (such as rats named Celine, Dodo, Twitchy all of whom were meant to appear in the movie and were in the official art book) in addition to very odd new characters such as Teen Rat, who is seemingly a Sonic the Hedgehog pastiche that challenges Remy to races. These game-exclusive characters are all treated as if they’re established characters from the movie that we should know and recognize so when I discovered they exist halfway through development, I retroactively added a bunch of them into this game and treated them exactly the same here. I did a lot of deep diving into the production of the movie and its tie-in material while making this game and referenced a lot of niche stuff -- in order to be as bizarre as possible, I also needed to be as “authentic” as possible.

[icewindandboringhorror]

I still very loathe the Media Trope of ‘’cold genius man doesn’t feel emotions and never has relationships... UNTIL.. one random relatively bland Preddy Woman comes along and warps his entire personality and ability to think, his heart has grown and his seeming asexuality has evaporated, he is now Normal :)” or whatever like... AS a walking generic hermit archetype myself.. we would NOT act like that .... just let people be detached weirdos in peace, you cowards .. OR, don’t bother to write one in the first place if you find us too boring to exist realistically in our natural state lol.. pathetic 

[todayisafridaynight]

time a flat circle why the hell am i usin the same loafers i bought for one cosplay of my fave antagonist for another fave antagonist

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[savoryangel]

guess who commissioned f.unneylizzie to draw my selfship…

[lunarflare64]

Its been November 1st for 30 minutes now and I just realised I'm going out during normal human hours and I swear to god if I see Christmas decorations up already-

[deconstructthesoup]

I've been thinking a little bit about how the Cat King expresses his affection, and specifically, how the fandom interprets it.

There's some people who see how he interacts with Edwin and think "oh my god, he's such a simp, Edwin really has this sexy catboy wrapped around his little finger," and there's some people who see how he interacts with Edwin and think "yowza, learn to take a hint, he's not interested in you and your fuckboy fur coat," which, y'know, are both valid. I love the Cat King, but he's clearly not a fan of boundaries---outside of his own, of course.

Which... is the point, isn't it? Because here's the thing---we all like to analyze the Cat King as if he's human, but... he's not.

He's a cat. And that's how cats are.

Let's look back at his first interaction with Edwin. Our sassy Edwardian boy has used magic on one of his cats, and he's pissed, because cats are protective over what they consider "theirs---" and seeing as he's the Cat King, all of the cats in Port Townsend are his. He's bitchy and rude, cutting Edwin off when he tries to explain himself, and doesn't exactly seem like he's a merciful guy.

Then comes the moment where he whisks Edwin away, and he gets a closer look. The Cat King realizes that he's handsome, he's clearly queer, and that there is something fascinating about him. So he gets closer, he gets intimate, and it's working. Even in the throes of internalized homophobia, Edwin's getting into it, and... the Cat King self-sabotages, slapping a binding spell onto him.

A cat hisses at you when you attempt to reach out your hand and reason with it. It changes its mind, and it comes up to you, purring. And just when you're about to scratch it behind its ears, it freaks out, scratching you on the hand.

Sure, right after that, the Cat King lays out the terms---the binding spell (which, honestly, is actually a pretty fitting punishment given that Edwin used a binding spell on that cat) can be taken off, "and I'm sure we can work something out." That's a line that's probably worked before, and that's a line that probably could've worked, but the damage is done. So the Cat King gets irritated, sneering at Edwin's "old-fashioned sensibilities," and gives him your classic trickster seems-easy-but-is-a-lot-harder-than-it-looks deal. And we don't see him again for a couple episodes... at least, not until Edwin gets that little cat-scratch at the lighthouse.

When a cat scratches your hand, you give it a wide berth. Even if it immediately changes its mind and meows for attention, you don't trust it anymore. So it gets pissy, getting more and more annoyed the more you ignore it, until it gives up and bites you when you won't give it pets.

Now, the Cat King has realized that Edwin's getting close. He's counted almost all the cats, and it won't be long before he completes the task and books it out of town. So, the Cat King starts flirting even more, even going so far as to mimic Monty and Charles if that's what it'll take. When that fails, and when getting Edwin to open up fails, the Cat King lets out a nervous little laugh and tells Edwin that he's way off, when in fact he couldn't be closer.

Once a cat realizes that it likes you, it becomes incredibly needy. It trots along after you, it begs for attention and love, it sits on your laptop and jumps up on the kitchen counter and will attempt to insert itself into any and all activities you might be doing. And while that may be the cat's way of expressing love, there's no denying that it is ignoring all of your personal boundaries and generally getting in the way of you doing anything---other than, of course, paying attention to it.

And then comes the moment in the forest. The Cat King shows up with a fancy chandelier to blow Monty's cover---why now? Because Monty isn't just a romantic threat, he's trying to do something that'll take away Edwin for good. Once the cover's blown, and once Monty storms off, the Cat King uses this as an opportunity---I just saved his life, maybe he'll notice me now---and Edwin snaps, dropping one of the best lines in the whole series.

This is the first time, mind you, that Edwin has really pushed back. He's been resistant before, sure, but he's never said or done anything that indicates that he really wanted this dance to end. And I don't even think the Cat King realized that he was crossing a line, had been crossing a line since he slapped that bracelet on. But when Edwin says that he's not the Cat King's toy to yank around, that he's nothing more than an inconvenience, that's a big old wake-up call for our boy---and of course, he takes it horribly, snarling after Edwin that he'll be stuck in this town if he walks away, that he'll stop playing nice, just fucking NOTICE me already why don't you?

There always comes a time when you're fed up with how invasive your cat's being. Maybe you've just had a bad day, maybe it's genuinely messing up something important that you're doing, but you break out the spray bottle. And how does it respond? With a hiss, with a scamper away, and with a baleful glare over its shoulder. It knows it's done something wrong, but it doesn't fully understand, and it's mad at you.

Afterwards, Edwin gets dragged into hell, and that breaks the charm on the bracelet. And the Cat King's left to think.

There's some conflicting emotions there, of course. He's moodily playing with the bracelet when Esther shows up, showing that he probably does care, but there's still something to be said about how he immediately calls Edwin a "tease" and hates himself for being willing to wait for him if and when he ever returns from Hell (which is very noble of you, Thomas, totally way more of a meaningful gesture than actually going down there to get him back---which, as a self-described eternal being, would probably be easier for you to do than Charles. Just sayin'). But as much as I love to clown on that, the Cat King does die in that scene, and it's only after that that he spills to Esther.

This, I think, is where the Cat King stops acting like a cat, and starts acting human. Because he doesn't go and see Edwin when he gets back---he's realized that he kind of was in the wrong, and he's giving him space. And I'm sure it can't have been fun knowing that Edwin and Charles only got kidnapped by Esther because of information that he let slip.

But when the boys and Crystal (and maybe Jenny) are about to leave, the Cat King visits Edwin to pay his respects to Niko. He gives Edwin a lily, which several people have pointed out is fatal to cats. He's still flirty, sure, but he's more understated now. No more tricks, no more spells. Just him. And that's the version of him that gets that little cheek kiss goodbye.

Because even cats can learn that there's a better way to love.

[thewidowsledger]

Secrets Behind Our Dreams

Chapter 12: A Room of Your Own | 5.2k

© thewidowsledger 2024 - DO NOT REPUBLISH AND PLAGIARISE

Summary: You are a club dancer; a stripper. Natasha is a respected notorious mob boss. What would happen if your paths happened to cross one night? The only thing you knew about each other was your dreams, and neither of you knew what the other was.

Pairing: Mob Boss Natasha Romanoff x Stripper Female Reader

Warnings: 18+, bad writing, slow burn, horny thoughts, gun pointing (?), bully Yelena (?), is fluff a warning? If yes, then what the fluff?

Author's Note: Scene reference from the movie Black Widow👀 I had to watch it so I can be able to write the scene. And, and, and the mascot was from my own experience, lol. Not proofread so if you see some stupid mistakes, no you didn't.

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⧗

“Fuck.” You mutter to yourself as soon as you're sure that she's out of the room. It feels like you’ve been holding your breath since you felt Natasha close to you and now you're gasping for air. You immediately slapped your cheek over and over, trying to remove the thoughts out of your mind.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, this is wrong.” You feel your head being light, remembering her words.

“You can take it.”

“Just like that.”

“Good girl.”

You took a pillow and slammed it on your face with both of your hands and screamed at it, it stayed at your face for a couple of seconds before you slowly removed it.

You squeezed your thighs shut to relieve the aching feeling between your legs, “Oh God, forgive me for I have sinned.”

“Y/N?” A call coming out your door freaked you out, you immediately shuffled and got out of your bed, you ran towards the door as you put your clothes over your freshly cleaned up wound.

You peeked revealing Maria outside, “Oh hey.”

“Here's your food, there are actually stocks of food in your room but Natasha told the chef to have some soup made for you.” She said carrying a tray of soup and water. “You okay?” She asked as she saw your blushing form just staring at the tray.

“Oh yeah, shit t-thanks. I mean…” you winced as you opened the door for her to come in and immediately but carefully took the tray from her. You put it on the side of your bed and walked back towards her.

There was an awkward silence between the two of you, “So? How are you?” She asked crossing her arms, offering you a comforting smile

“I…” you shrugged.

"I know things are hard for you...complicated," Maria empathized. "But please don't sleep naked on the tile floor again, Y/N." She chuckled, as did you.

She noticed your nervous fidgeting and slowly began walking towards the door, with you following closely behind, crossing your arms and rubbing your arm.

"She was really worried about you," Maria declared as she looked at you.

You nodded slowly, recognizing the depth of Natasha's concern. Your heart wanted to jump out of its place. But you actually hadn't meant to cause her any worry, and now a plan began to take shape in your mind. You thought about making it up to Natasha for all she had done for you. Just as Maria started to leave your room, you hastily called out to her.

"I uh, Maria," you began, "Is it possible for me to go into the kitchen later? I'd like to do some cooking, or something." You cursed yourself for being so awkward.

“Oh…” she smiled, “Sure, I’ll tell the chef. Finish your food first and you can have the kitchen all by yourself.”

⧗

You quickly finished the remainder of your soup and carried the tray with you as you made your way out of your room.

With the tray in your grasp, you navigated through the halls, making your way towards the kitchen. As you walked, the sound of your footsteps echoed slightly in the deserted corridor, as if the emptiness itself was listening to your every step.

Finally, you arrived at the kitchen that Maria had pointed out to you a day ago. The kitchen was one large expansive room, without any doors or dividers. The space was seamless and open, allowing the air to flow freely between the workstations and appliances.

You cautiously stepped inside, placing the tray in the sink. You took a moment to survey the kitchen, your hands slightly fidgeting from nerves. You had initially planned to bake, but now that you are faced with the vastness of the kitchen, you actually don't know what to do now as you feel a little overwhelmed.

The kitchen was immaculate, the stainless steel counters gleaming under the warm glow of the overhead lights. Rows of pristine cookware, pots, and pans hung from hooks on the backsplash, and the various appliances were meticulously arranged on the counters.

“Wow…I only had a microwave in my apartment.” You muttered to yourself.

You took a moment to examine the cabinets, quietly searching for the ingredients you needed for what you planned to bake. Opening each one, you looked closely, taking mental note of what you had and what you still needed to find. Then, your eyes landed on the pantry, located to the left of the large fridge.

You entered the pantry, which was another expansive room brimming with ingredients.

“Wow…” your jaw literally dropped as you took a good look around the pantry, you couldn't help but marvel at the variety of items before you. It seemed like a mini grocery store!

One by one, you managed to retrieve everything you needed. The ingredients in your arms grew, until eventually you had everything you needed, including flour, sugar, chocolate chips, eggs, and butter. With your arms full, you carefully walked out of the pantry.

You began your cooking project by setting all the ingredients out on a clean countertop. The measuring cups, spoons, bowls, and baking sheets were placed strategically so you could easily access them. As you arranged everything, a small wave of overwhelm washed over you as you looked at the materials before you. You were anxious that you may accidentally damage or ruin them in some way.

You measured each ingredient, the aroma of the dough began to fill the room, blending the scents of sugar and butter. With each cup and teaspoon, you mixed the ingredients in a large bowl, creating a smooth and creamy base.

You had finally completed the cookie dough and were now preparing to bake it. However, in order to do so, you needed to find the parchment paper, which was nowhere to be seen.

“Where did I put it?”

You were frantically searching for it, knowing that you had just placed it in one place together with others. You began to worry that you misplaced it. Suddenly, you heard a voice behind you. “Looking for this?”

Startled, you whipped around to find Yelena, sitting casually on the countertop, holding the parchment paper you had been looking for. Your clumsy hands accidentally knocked over some of the ingredients, causing it to crash to the ground.

You immediately and instinctively crouched down to fix the mess you made, Yelena smirked down at the sight. She toyed with the parchment paper as you cleaned in front of her.

Yelena hummed a nonsensical tune, her feet idly swaying and occasionally coming close to your head, almost purposely. However, you tried not to let it get to you and refrained from showing any reaction. Deep inside, you couldn't help but hope that Natasha would appear, as she usually did when her sister was around, to rescue you from this frustrating situation.

“Yelena.”

Yelena turned, a smirk creeping in her face. She tilted her head, “Hey Riri.”

Maria's expression toward Yelena remained emotionless. She maintained a stoic demeanor, silently observing Yelena's actions and behavior. “You know where to find your sister.”

“I always do.” Yelena chuckled as she leaped off the countertop and nonchalantly let the parchment paper fall to the ground as you focused on cleaning up. Without a pause, she promptly walked out of the kitchen.

When Yelena was finally out of sight Maria immediately inquired if you're okay to which you nodded.

Maria, noticing the lingering tension Yelena left in the air, she turned to you with a sympathetic expression and softly apologized for Yelena's behavior.

"I'm sorry about Yelena," she said gently. "She can be quite...a lot."

Sensing your lack of response, Maria quickly shifted the conversation and her eyes landed at the countertop, seeing the dough you just made ready to be baked.

“You know, that looks really delicious,” she said, her tone shifting to a more casual one.

Her words were meant to ease the tension, hoping to alleviate any discomfort you might still be feeling. Her words, though simple, had a profound effect, causing your cheeks to blush. A small, shy smile graced your lips as you gratefully accepted her compliment.

“Thanks,” you said as you stood with the ingredients on your arms. “I just need to bake them, can I ask for a hand? I don't know how your oven works.”

Upon hearing your request for assistance, a warm smile spread across Maria's face. “Sure, whatever you need.”

⧗

"I know you’re out there.” Yelena, still concealing her presence, speaks out, her voice carrying a hint of challenge as she carefully closes the door behind her and pulled the gun behind her jeans.

Natasha, unfazed, responds calmly, she leaned back to her office chair, "I know you know I’m out here."

Yelena cautiously steps forward, her eyes scanning the room carefully. She picks her way through the room, avoiding any objects that might make noise or hinder her movement.

"So, are we going to talk like grown-ups?" Natasha said after a lack of response from her sister.

“Is that what we are?” Yelena shot back, finally revealing her sister who's sitting in her office chair, gun pointed in her direction.

The room is tense, their eyes locked in a deadly staring contest. Natasha stood from her chair and circled the desk, walking forward, her gun pointed directly at Yelena.

“Put it down before I make you.” Yelena said with a stern voice, she walked backwards when she saw Natasha slowly begin to advance. She kept her gun pointed precisely at her sister.

“You put yours down.” Natasha replied, keeping her gun trained on Yelena, her footsteps are measured and steady, her gaze still locked on the blonde.

As Yelena takes a step backward, she slightly stumbles. She falters momentarily but quickly regains her footing.

“Watch your step.”

Yelena responded with a smirk.

With each step, the distance closes between them, their body tense and ready for any sudden moves from each other.

In a quick, coordinated movement, both Natasha and Yelena switch their guns with each other, passing them between their hands while still maintaining their defensive stances.

The switch is swift and seamless, a testament to the skill and familiarity the sisters have with each other's movements. Both continue to watch each other intently, weapons now held in the other's hand. The air crackles with tension, neither of them willing to back down.

Natasha, in a split second, reaches out and touches Yelena’s gun and the unexpected touch is enough to send Yelena straight into attack mode. She quickly launches herself at Natasha, slamming her sister towards the wall.

Natasha winces, the impact on her back momentarily catching her off guard. But Natasha was quick to counterattack; she grabbed Yelena’s jacket, and pushed her harshly, she then yanked her towards the cabinets. In a single swift motion, Natasha slams her sister’s back against the table below, pinning her firmly by the jaw.

“Stay down, stay down!”

Despite being in a disadvantaged position, Yelena makes quick work of the situation. With her sharp and agile movements, she sneaks her hand behind her and grabs a stack of thick papers from the table. Before Natasha can react, Yelena brings the papers down hard against her sister's head.

The unexpected blow sends Natasha staggering back, her grip on Yelena momentarily loosening. Yelena uses this to her advantage and quickly stands from being pinned.

Natasha and Yelena continue eyeing each other, both of them are breathing heavily and are refusing to back down. The tension in the room is palpable. After a long moment, Natasha breaks the standoff and walks back to her desk, she winced as she touched her side slightly.

“How's mama?” Natasha asks in a detached tone as if they didn't just almost kill each other seconds ago.

Yelena can't hold back a smile. The mention of their mother seems to bring a bit of tenderness and excitement into Yelena's voice. She straightens her clothes after the fight, pausing to collect her thoughts before she speaks.

“She uhm,” Yelena started fidgeting, “Mama’s fine, she's okay and uhh…she misses you so much, like she always cooks your favorite when she misses you.”

Yelena's excitement was almost palpable as she shared this tidbit of information. On the other hand, Natasha's stoic expression gave away nothing of her emotions. She reached for a beer, uncapping it. The sound of the cap snapping off echoed in as her sister continued to ramble.

“And papa, he’s—”

“I only asked for mama did I?” Her response was crisp and biting, a clear indication that she had no interest in hearing about their father.

Yelena was visibly taken aback by Natasha's abruptness. She watched in silence as her sister finished the beer in one smooth gulp, setting the empty bottle down with a firm tap on the hardwood desk.

She huffed, her eyes narrowing as she surveyed the room. Her voice was slightly mocking as she made a comment about Natasha's setup.

"Quite domesticated here," she began, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips. "Got yourself a wife cooking downstairs, huh?"

Natasha's cold gaze flicked up to meet Yelena's, her expression hardening at the mention of you. She interrupted her sister sternly, knowing how this conversation would go.

"Enough."

But Yelena didn't relent, continuing to push her sister's buttons.

"All cutesy," she began, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Bringing poison into this house."

Natasha's patience had reached its limit. Her eyes flashed and her jaw tightened. In a swift, fluid movement, she slammed the jagged pieces of the broken glass onto the table, the sound of it making a loud thud against the hard surface. Her voice was low and sharp as she shouted at her sister.

Yelena didn't expect the sudden move, and she flinched momentarily.

"I said, enough." She emphasized each word, her fingers digging into the desk, the fragments of which were now scattered across the desk and the floor.

“Get out, I have a meeting to go to.”

Yelena let out a huff, her neutral demeanor faltering. She started walking backwards, still facing her sister.

"I don't understand you," she said, shaking her head slightly. "All of this for a woman you just met weeks ago."

She began to make her way out of the room. As she reached the threshold, she turned back to look at her sister, her expression firm. In a quieter voice, she added, "Don't drag yourself into this."

And with that, Natasha was left alone in her office, shattered glasses, scattered papers everywhere. The silence was thick and heavy. Her eyes scanned the room, taking in the chaos that surrounded her. She let out a sigh, running her hands through her hair, the stress of the situation starting to manifest physically. As the clock ticked by, counting down the minutes until her meeting, Natasha took a deep breath to steady herself.

⧗

You had just finished plating the cookies, neatly arranging them on a tray. The thought of finding Natasha to give her the baked goods brought a small smile to your face. However, your thoughts were interrupted when you turned and saw Yelena leaning against the counter. Her sudden appearance made you jump slightly, the familiar feeling of uneasiness creeping over you.

Yelena chuckled seeing your reaction. She watched you intently, her expression amused. It was clear she enjoyed startling you and making you feel uncomfortable, as always

“Looking for Natasha?” She asked as if she could read your mind, you nodded not daring to look at her.

“I know where she is,” remembering that her sister just told her that she has some meeting to attend to. A smirk creeped into her face as she thought about you making some surprise visit to that meeting.

“2nd floor, last room at the left hall.”

You smile slightly at her and your eyes flickered as she told you where her sister is, the excitement evident in you.

“Thanks,” you said, slightly stuttering due to your eagerness to leave. “You can have some if you want.”

With the tray of cookies in your hands, you began slowly making your way past Yelena. A wave of disdain flooded over her. She hated how genuine you were, showing kindness even after she had been so tough on you. No matter how hard time she gave you, you still managed to make small genuine acts towards her and she hated it.

She hated you.

Yelena, despite her best efforts to stay aloof, found herself drawn to the freshly baked cookies sitting on the counter. The aroma was irresistible. Her pride told her not to take one, but her stomach says otherwise. In a swift motion, she picked one up and quickly stuffed it into her mouth, the sweet taste only adding to her inner conflict. It was so good that she hated you more.

⧗

As you make your way down the hall towards where Natasha is, your heart thumps in your chest. You can feel the butterflies in your stomach, each step bringing you closer. As you approach the hall, you mentally rehearse what to say.

“This is for you,” you say aloud, testing the words out. Then, you jokingly chide yourself, “What? No greetings? That's so disrespectful of you Y/N.”

“I baked cookies for you,” you tried again with a sigh on how awkward you sound.

Caught up in your internal monologue, you continue to walk and rehearse your lines, blissfully unaware of your surroundings. The door suddenly opens under your touch, and you find yourself standing in the doorway of Natasha's office.

Shit. You stop short, your eyes swept across the room. Not only is Natasha present, but there are also four other men in there, all of whom look like hardened criminals. They were in the middle of a meeting, and your unexpected entrance caught everyone's attention. Silence filled the air as their gaze landed on you, and you felt completely out of place, standing in the doorway with the tray of cookies in your hands.

Instantly, the atmosphere in the room shifted. All the men in the room quickly stood up, their expressions neutral as they drew their weapons and aimed them directly at you as if they were trained to do it. The sound of multiple guns cocking filled your ears, and you instinctively froze, the tray of cookies trembling in your hands and your eyes started to get covered with tears. You thought this is it for you.

Natasha shoots up from her chair. “Fuck,” she muttered enough for everyone to hear, “Don’t you dare fucking shoot her! Out! Now!”

Your shoulders jump at the sharpness of the order, you know she has your protection in mind, though. You're on the verge of crying while apologizing for barging in on the meeting, but the men in attendance also jump to their feet, instantly bowing courteously to Natasha before hastily making their exit giving you a wide berth as they open the other door to her office and file out.

Natasha's eyes were locked onto you, concern etched across her face.

“Fuck…” a cursed escaped her lips. “Baby…” And without realizing it, a term of endearment slipped out this time. Natasha could see the shock on your face and the tremble in your hands holding the tray of cookies. She gently took the tray from you and set it down on the long table in the meeting room.

“Hey,” she called, holding your face.

Your words came out in a shaky breath, your voice quivering slightly. “I'm so sorry Natasha,” you said, the guilt and embarrassment evident. “I didn't mean to…” You tried to hold back the tears, but the sobs began to take over, your body shaking slightly.

You managed to get the words out between the sobs, explaining, “I just wanted to give you these cookies I made for you. And...and your sister...she told me you were here…” Your voice sounded like a small child complaining.

“Eta suka.” (That bitch) she whispered.

“I’m sorry, you weren't supposed to see that.” She said softly, bringing your head on her shoulder. You caught a whiff of her perfume as you nuzzled closer to her neck.

“You baked this for me?” she asked, caught off guard, your shy nod confirmed and a small smile curled on her lips.

“Why don't we get out and enjoy them?” You nodded again, this time with a genuine smile blossoming on your face.

⧗

As you and Natasha walked side by side, she casually looped her arm around your waist, making you feel safe and secure. In her other hand, she held the tray of cookies.

Suddenly, you were startled to see a guard carrying a large gun standing in front of you. Surprised, you looked up at him, but Natasha quickly intervened, asking him to step aside.

She turned to you and explained apologetically, “Sorry, it's security.” You nodded, understanding the need for precautions in her line of work.

“Don't you have an ongoing meeting?”

Natasha simply shrugged and responded nonchalantly, "They can wait."

“I’m really sorry, you should've finished whatever you're discussing if I didn't barge in—”

As you began to apologize once again, Natasha quickly reassured you, cutting off your apology before you could finish. Holding your hand, she gently squeezed it to comfort you.

"Y/N, it's okay." She continued walking with you, leading the way towards the tranquil garden of the manor.

Your eyes widened in awe as you took in the breathtaking view of the lake in front of you. "Wow," you breathed out, captivated by the beauty of your surroundings.

Natasha gestured for you to take a seat beside her in the soft grass. She removed her leather jacket and laid it down on the ground, creating a soft surface for you to sit comfortably.

As she did so, you inadvertently caught a glimpse of her biceps flexing. To your surprise, you could see that her arms were adorned with intricate tattoos, the ink dancing across her skin. But there was also a long, slender scar running through one of the tattoos, partially concealed by the ink.

The sight of it caused your breath to hitch in your throat, your gaze lingering on her skin and her strong arms.

You quickly shifted your gaze, your mind raced as you hoped she hadn't noticed the way your eyes had lingered on her arms.

Looking away, you redirected your attention to the serene lake in front of you, the cool breeze gently ruffling your hair and bringing some relief to your flushed face.

The two of you sat down together, she put the tray of cookies in front of you and you on the other hand was still fascinated at the view of the lake, your mouth slightly opened. Natasha couldn't help but smile at you, she grabbed a cookie from the tray which caught your attention.

“So?” You asked, “How was it?”

“You should try your own cookie.” She said, winking at you and you did, you grabbed one and took a bite.

“It's heavenly,” she commented, you looked at her with your brows furrowed.

“Heavenly?” You laughed, “What are you a poet?” You said between giggles.

For a few moments, there was a comfortable silence between the two of you as you sat together in the garden. It wasn't an awkward silence per se, but rather a calm and peaceful atmosphere that surrounded you both.

Your eyes wandered idly, scanning the surroundings until they landed on a beautiful rose bush nearby. A sense of wonder filled you as you spotted a single red rose in full bloom. Excited, you pointed at it and exclaimed with a childlike enthusiasm.

"Look, a rose! Like the ones on your shoulder!”

As soon as the words left your lips, you immediately realized your faux pas and hastily apologized.

“I'm sorry,” you said remorsefully. “I think they're cool you know, your tattoos.”

Natasha looked at the roses, not providing an immediate response. Feeling even more embarrassed, you repeated your apology with a pout, feeling awkward.

Natasha chuckled at your adorable reaction and reassured you, “It's fine, Y/N.”

After a moment of silence, you found yourself rambling again. Curiosity tinged your voice as you mused aloud,

“So it's true, mob bosses…gangsters or whatever…they all have tattoos on their upper bodies, huh?”

Natasha hummed, “Yeah, I guess they do,”

A teasing smile tugged at your lips as you jokingly inquired, “You think I'd look good with tattoos too? Look, I have scars now too.” Natasha's eyes met yours, and a soft chuckle escaped her lips in response to your question.

Your heart skipped a beat as her laughter filled the air. The mere sound of her amusement sent a wave of warmth rushing through you, causing a flutter in your chest. It was a small victory, earning her laughter, but one that felt significant nonetheless.

“You silly girl,” she remarked as she took another cookie from the tray.

“It's an initiation rites,” she started, you shifted and sat properly beside her ready to listen to whatever she's going to say.

“I never wanted to have it, my mother told my father that it should stop with him.” She pauses, gathering her thoughts, before continuing, “The curse of our blood.”

That line just made your skin crawl.

“I saw how people looked at my father, all the scars in his body? I don't wanna be seen that way.” Her voice trembles slightly.

“I woke up,” she shifted slightly, “in a chair, I was tied up. I was 15 when I had it, my father slowly scarred my skin while I was begging him to stop. I was shouting for my mom but she never came.” She said it nonchalantly as she recounts the harrowing experience.

Your heart wrenched in your chest as you listened to her.

“From then I had to accept my fate.” A hint of bitterness tugged at the corners of Natasha's lips. “But that didn't mean I had to carry it on with me.”

Her eyes darted to the ground, studying the blades of grass that lay beneath her feet. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts before continuing.

“I managed our business for 4 years and left to start my own. I haven't seen my parents since, only Yelena.” She looked at you, placing her hands at her back so she could lean on them and she straightened her legs forward. “What about you?”

“Oh, me?” You asked, pointing at yourself using the cookie.

“Yes, silly.” She giggled at you.

“I don't wanna make it about me though, you’re sharing yours—”

“Please tell me, I wanna know.” She cut you off.

You fell silent for a moment, collecting your thoughts and steeling yourself recalling your past. You swallowed the last piece of cookie in your hand before you spoke.

“Well, let's start with the fact that I never got to see my parents,” you began casually. “My mom died giving birth...to me and my dad left my mom before I was even born. So I grew up with my grandparents, but when they passed away, I had to live by myself.”

As you continued, your hands instinctively sought comfort, and you started to hug your legs tightly.

“My aunt took my grandparents' house and decided to sell it,” you huffed, your voice laced with bitterness. “They gave me my part of it because my mom’s gone and yeah, of course, I get to have her share in that.

“I started working at 17 to pay for my school," you said, recounting your early attempts at earning money. "I did everything, I worked at a laundromat, waitress, hostess, janitress, mascot…”

“Mascot?” Natasha's curiosity piqued, as she immediately asked.

A soft laugh escaped your lips as you nodded and explained, “Yeah, there was this pizzeria that was having their opening and for a month I was half human and half pizza.”

“Wow…” Natasha laughed, “That’s funny…I mean no offense and respect to that because that's a difficult job.”

“Yeah, it is ‘coz they stink with all the sweat you know, ugh.” You rolled your eyes and made a gagging noise that earned another laugh from the redhead.

“Do you know how mascots blink?” you asked, your chin lifted in with a grin on your face.

“Ooh interesting, how?”

"When I did it, there's actually this thing in the hands of the mascot that whenever you close the hands," you lifted your left hand and formed a balled fist, demonstrating the mechanism of the mascot, “the mascot also blinks.”

“Ooh, I thought—”

You quickly guessed her thought, laughing slightly, “That it blinks when the person inside blinks?”

“I know it sounds so stupid but yeah.” She admitted with a sheepish grin.

You both couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the idea, to the point that both of you had to lay back down almost dying in laughter.

When the both of you finally calm down, Natasha's question broke the silence, and her curious tone filled the air as she asked, facing you as both of you were laying down, “So you went to college?”

“I did.”

Natasha then continued her line of questioning, “What happened? Did you finish?”

“I did. I was late for 2 years. Decided to have a leap year so I can save money for college. I took theater arts and when I finished I moved to New York with all my savings, hoping to fulfill my dream, you know...every kid's dream, everybody's dream, Broadway. But things didn't go as planned. But…I still had planned my future and I did plan some options. We need some safety net y’know?”

“Planned some options?” Natasha asked, slightly curious at the thought.

“Yeah.” You nodded, you can actually feel the grass and the dirt mixing with your hairstrand.

“And the plan is?”

“My plan is…one, to get a degree, finish college and I already did that. And I have two options if my degree doesn't work out for me.” You paused, your tongue darting out to wet your lips before continuing.

“One, be a stripper or two, be someone's trophy wife. And that's how I landed on Valkyrie's, option one.” You finally turned to look at her but she was already staring at you, your eyes widened and immediately got up trying to cover up the blush creeping in your face.

Natasha slowly sat beside you, your heart skipped a beat. You felt her presence as she reached for your hand, gently pulling you to your feet.

"I gotta show you something."

You grabbed her leather jacket and left the empty tray of cookies. The two of you walked back towards the manor, passing by a couple of armed guards who stood watch.

Natasha led you towards the large hall, her grip on your hand firm and sure. As she opened the double doors, you were immediately struck by the empty room that greeted you.

The space was spacious, with mirrors lining the walls and a solitary pole placed in the center. The polished wooden floor shone under the dim lighting, creating a subtle and intimate atmosphere.

A shy smile played on Natasha's lips as she spoke, looking directly at you. Her voice was soft, almost sheepish as she confessed.

“I still remember that dream of yours being a ballerina. So I had this room made just for you.”

“Wow,” you breathed. “Natasha, this…” Your voice trailed off for a moment as you gathered your thoughts, your emotions overwhelming you.

“Thank you,” you managed to say, your voice cracking slightly as tears threatened to spill down your cheeks.

You don't need to be scared now.

No one will stop you.

No one will threaten you to know your place.

Because right now, at this moment, you do know your place.

You stepped forward and leaned towards Natasha, you gently planted a soft kiss on her cheek, your lips lingering for just a fraction of a second.

Secrets Behind Our Dreams: Masterlist

[minervas-hand]

Right to fear, wrong to believe

Just had a horrible realization and needed to meta it out.

How different they were before Edinburgh, when Crowley was sucked down into Hell.

Look at this flirty babygirl in the Bastille:

I mean could he climb that tree any faster?

(This is why I really like fics that place a more physical relationship here, pre-Bastille or just post-Bastille, because c'mon look at them. )

In S1 the next thing is 1862 and Crowley asking for insurance (with a cane ffs). And Aziraphale freaking out with his "fraternizing" BS. It's jarring, until we get 1827 filled in for us in S2.

@takeme-totheworld notes in this post:

Crowley sure went from "our respective head offices don't actually care how things get done" and "nobody ever has to know" to "walls have ears" FAST after Edinburgh. And Aziraphale went from looking at Crowley with hearts in his eyes to "I've been FrAtErNiZiNg" just as quickly. I'm more convinced than ever that Edinburgh was the first time Crowley ever actually got caught and punished for fucking around with Aziraphale/doing good deeds/whatever it was they yanked him back down to Hell for, and it scared the absolute shit out of both of them and changed the whole tone of their relationship after that.

Yes! - it's clear to me as well that the Edinburgh graveyard was a very bad turning point, where they both saw that Hell was listening and would intervene. And it did change their relationship drastically, for over a century and a half (really, until looming Armageddon loosened up the stakes for them).

But what about Heaven?

See the thing is, we know Azi's been worried about Heaven watching him for the past 6000 years.

But they haven't.

[GIFs posted by starrose17]

All this time, and Heaven had not seen them together. Hadn't noticed. Had not even LOOKED.

I want to mention what @starrose17 says about this here in this post:

What I love about this is her choice of words, “went back through the Earth Observation files.” This implies that these photos were already filed somewhere meaning somebody had to have been watching them which meant somewhere in the depths of the bureaucratic heaven there’s an underpaid angel clerk tasked with watching angels on Earth, and he’s been hording photos of his favourite Angel/Demon couple not reporting them to Michael because he wants to see what happens.

And that's exactly what this fic covers!: Spying Omens by @ednav

(Give this a read, it's fabulous.)

While I am here for this being exactly how that happens, the other scenario is colder and worse - there's no one watching, at all. It's just filing automatically and never seen until some Scrivener is called to pull a file.

From @fuckyeahisawthatat's comment here :

I found this scene to be quite chilling, actually. Not only is the idea of Heaven as a surveillance state brilliant (way to make “God is always watching” sound way more ominous) but this is exactly how modern surveillance states work. They don’t actively watch everybody all the time. That’s not physically possible for humans, and even if it is metaphysically possible for Heaven, it’s not a very efficient use of resources. Surveillance states watch people they deem “suspicious.” And once you’ve been put in the category of “suspicious,” they have massive amounts of data that they can comb through to collect a lot of information about you–to retroactively build a case justifying why you’re suspicious, to collect information about where you go and who you associate with, etc.

Yes.

So we either have secret collusion in the rank and file, or we have a surveillance state that is constantly reinforced to its subjects for fear's sake, for control.

(Well, it obviously could be both.)

BUT my point is… Up until Edinburgh, Hell has not been watching (or caring at least). And up until near the end of Armageddon't, neither has Heaven.

Oh, my poor Angel. Thousands of years, of denying yourself, of pushing Crowley away, of carrying around a tension that is it's own constellation.

After 1827 you might have reason, but for the 5000+ years before that?

Thousands of years and Heaven was not watching nor cared.

You were right to fear. And you were wrong to believe.

And that just breaks my heart.

[sturniolo04]

A little request for you…Chris’s gf , Matt’s gf, Madi and Nick are having brunch at a restaurant. somehow they end up talking about their sex lives and realize how actually different the two brothers are in bed (different styles but both very good), Nick is freaking out the whole time not wanting to hear about it, covering his, screaming and making disgust face and Madi just watches the whole scene laughing as the girls share their experiences :)

A/N: hope you like it love <3

Gf!Bsf!Reader x Gf!Bsf!Reader x Bsf!Nick x Bsf!Madi

It became a tradition at this point, going out to brunch with your best friends Nick and Madi in addition to Chris' girlfriend since you two were super close obviously because of the fact you guys were dating the twin brothers. So, here it is your favorite part of the early late Saturday at 11:30am, sitting with your favorite people in the world.

"hi lovey how are you"

you state as you and chris' girlfriend walks up to madi and nick.

'im good im so happy to see you two again"

madi exclaim coming up and hugging the pair

" i cant say that i see yall every other day just about since you two date my brothers"

nick states simply playfully rolling his eyes as he comes up to hug you two after Madi. Everything was very peaceful once you guys sat down at your designated table for brunch and your guys conversations continued normally. So you're not so sure how you guys ended up on the topic of Matt and Chris' performance in bed.

' no but like matt knows what do with his tongue for real"

"So Matt lives up to his twitch user name"

madi responds giggling

"oh for sure he always so gentle with me even when we had our first time he made sure I was okay with everything"

"do you guys ever have rough sex then"

Chris' girlfriend proceeds to ask engaging in the conversation.

" i mean yeah after a long day of teasing back and forth"

matt's girlfriend giggles at the thought.

" well i can't relate to the gentleness, when me and chris have sex its rough, hot and kinky"

"oh my god"

"i kind of figured that i mean come on its chris"

"no but like dont get me wrong we do have gentle sex-'

chris' girlfriend trails off

"yeah when he's half asleep practically"

madi giggles.

"okay whatever"

" you and chris probably couldnt name a place you haven't done it"

matt's girlfriend chuckles

" uh yes i can"

"then name one"

madi injects as her and matts girlfriend look at her seriously

"uh- oh- a public bathroom"

'you fucking liar"

"we haven't"

"you guys totally have"

" im asking chris"

"wait nevermind there was tara's party we- uh-yeah"

"yeah thats what i thought"

madi states rolling her eyes at her best friend.

"okay but like how-"

matt's girlfriend place two fingers in front of chris' girlfriends face and slowly starts to move them a part.

"oh my god stop it"

chris's girlfriend giggles pushing her fingers down as a pint tint rises on her cheeks.

"well-"

"like 10 inches"

"holy shit"

"anyway what about yours you know"

chris' girlfriend asks.

" same but hella thick"

she states giggling as nick interjects finally losing his appetite completely.

"okay enough talking about my brother penises like what the fuck; lost my fucking appetite"

he exclaims pushing his plate away from him.

"sorry sorry we'll stop"

madi states for the two giggling

"you better otherwise i am throwing up that french toast"

[81folklore]

lover - MS47

pairings: mick schumacher x wordle!reader (fc: savannah delullo + pintrest)

summary: micks girlfriend always relates everything in her life to the three things she loves most; taylor swift, wordle and her boyfriend

authors note: this is probably one of the most niche things ive ever made but i absolutely love sav and her wordle content and i also love mick so why not put those together?? i dont even know how i thought of this but here it is😭

authors note 2: doesnt have all the pictures i wanted, but i needed this to be one part so i had to shorten it a bit. i ended up mainly using pintrest photos, but that was only because the sav photos i planned to use ended up being in posts i couldnt make due to the 30 picture limit. i actually think this is my favorite smau ive done so i hope you enjoy

masterlist

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, jackdoohan and 12,728 others

and everytime i look at you, its like the first time

view comments

user11: beach being the wordle today was perfect pinned

yourusername: can confirm i was very happy

mickschumacher: good pictures...must be a pretty cool photographer😂

yourusername: ehh took some practice but he learnt from the best!😉

user82: you guys are so cute

user9: micks looking more and more like his dad everyday :')

user4: im so obessed with your tiktoks

user49: favorite wordle player

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, estebanocon and 14,287

you got that long hair, slicked back, white tshirt, and i got that good girl faith and a tight little skirt

view comments

user55: officially my favorite couple

user20: dont know who i want to be more

user32: so so cute

mickschumacher: 💚💚💚

user2: i love that she always includes that days wordles in her posts

user72: and if she can, she will relate it to a taylor lyric and make that her caption

user60: and she always tries to match the pictures to the word

user46: are those his dads glasses☹️

yourusername

liked by carla.brocker, mickschumacher and 26,109 others

youre a flashback in a film reel on the one screen in my town🎞️

view comments

user8: micks smile AHHHHH

user92: im so obsessed with this post

user902: he looks SO GOOD

user65: i cant bresthe omg

mickschumacher: my favourite photographer

yourusername: my favourite muse

user7: I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

user51: no bcs you just dont understand

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, jackdoohan and 31,273 others

✨i can still make the whole place shimmer✨

HOLY WHAT IS MY LIFE??? so much happened within the span of a night and im in shock. first, TAYLOR SWIFT?? next SWIFT WORDLE ANSWER?? ON THE DAY OF MY CONCERT?? then I GOT THE 22 HAT?? EXACTLY 10 YEARS AFTER THE LAST PICTURE TOOK PLACE?? also lets all appreciate how good both taylor and mick look!!!!

view comments

user4: YOU GOT THE HAT? IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU

user6: you deserve the hat so much!!

user67: what was your reaction to the wordle?

yourusername: i actually did it in the stadium while waiting for taylor, i started freaking out i was so happy😭

user13: love your outifts! did you make both of them?

yourusername: i made micks and he made mine☺️

yourfriend2: im glad you both had fun

yourusername: mwah 💋

mickschumacher: thank you for choosing me to go with you

yourusername: why wouldnt i take my favorite person to see my other favorite person??

mickschumacher: love you

yourusername: love you🩵

user5: the IT couple

user85: i love seeing mick getting involved with her interests :(

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, georgerussell63 and 40,812 others

we could let our friends crash in the living room

tagged mickschumacher, lewishamilton, estebanocon, lance_stroll, sebastianvettel, georgerussell63+

view comments

user56: oh my god oh my god

user52: theyre literally living taylor swift lyrics

user75: i cant cope

user79: THEY HAD A SLEEPOVER?? WITH THEIR GRID FRIENDS??

user20: seb definitly spun the wheel in twister

user59: definitly had a drink with him aswell😭

lewishamilton: thanks for having us💜

yourusername: always welcome with us lewis🩵

mickschumacher: can i go where you go?

yourusername: can we always be this closee?

yourusername

liked by mickschumacher, lewishamilton and 29,819 others

and at every table, ill save you a seat, lover...

m, you mean more to me than i will ever be able to put into words. the love i feel for you is something so special it feels wrong to just say 'i love you', it doesnt do it justice. you are my entire being and nothing i say or do will even amount to the way you make me feel

3 years ago, forever felt scary, forever felt terrifying, but how can forever be enough now? how will i ever have enough time with you? how will i ever have enough time to love you?

i would say 'take me out and take me home' but no matter where you take me i will always be home if im with you🏠

tagged mickschumacher

comments on this post have been limited

mickschumacher: my favorite person

yourusername: 🫶🫶

mickschumacher: my one and only

yourusername: my lifeline

mickschumacher: forever with you sounds perfect

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

Snowflame (singing): Oh Harley!

Harley Quinn: Not this guy. Roy, stand back.

Roy (Arsenal): Can you not say my government name out here.

Harley: Yeah, yeah, stay behind me.

Roy: Why, what is going on?

Snowflame: HEY I'M BEHIND YOU!

Jason to Roy: Get ready for this.

The trio turns around, the shorter Harley using herself as a shield to protect a confused Roy. They spot Snowflame... The cocaine powered super villain.

Snowflame: I AM SNOWFLAME! COCAINE IS MY POWER! COCAINE GIVES ME LIFE, ENERGY, POWERS MY SOUL! SNOWFLAME!

Roy: Am I high or is there a guitar riff in the background?

Harley: We haven't figured out where it comes from.

Snowflame: Harley, Helmet man... Ginger man I've never met before, how dare you return to my jungle! I sell COCAINE to give others the euphoria that COCAINE provides! They can never be as powerful as I, but the world needs-

Harley, aggravated: Stop, stop, stop! Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I get it! He gets it. You say this speech every time we have to deal with ya and turn off that guitar riff! I can't hear my thoughts!

Snowflame places his hands on his hips annoyed then snaps his fingers. The music stops.

Roy's eyes widen as he checks that the music actually stopped?

Roy: What?

Snowflame: You're no fun. Typical freaks like you who can't handle the true power that the life giver COCAINE provides!

Harley: Oh my God, Roy are you okay? Do you need to go a good distance. I know all the toxic talk is probably clouding your mind?

Roy, looking around confused: I'm fine.

Harley: You sure? I get if you need to be away from this walking drug dealer.

Roy, offended: OH FUCK YOU!

Snowflame: Have you deprived the follower of cocaine the sweet nectar as well? Red head join me and we will rule the world with the power of COCAINE!

Roy: I was never on cocaine! Harley you don't seriously think- Of course you do... of course you do!

Jason, rubbing his forehead: I'm getting a headache being around him again. Roy if you need another job he's hiring and pays in cocaine.

Harley: Hood! Stop it. Roy-

Roy: Stop calling me that! Is the name Arsenal that difficult to remember?! I was never on COKE, you jackasses!

Harley: Yeah but I know how those gateway drugs work. Snowflame, keep your distance from us we don't want your coke crack.

Roy: Those are different drugs.

Jason, trying not to laugh: You're not helping your case.

Roy walks a few feet away begrudgingly agreeing with his friend.

Snowflame: You may attempt to inflict pain on me, for I will not give up my magical powers that are provided by COCAINE! I feel no pain, freaks!

Roy: Is he ODing?

The guitar riff returns.

Roy: Seriously, how does he do that?

Snowflame: I don't know the meaning of that word for weaklings! I crave any excuse to burn brighter! I burn with thought, accelerated thought! Always moving. Always on! I never sleep!

Jason walks sits on the ground and rubs his eyes and laughs.

Jason: Okay... I can't every time... he's like an escaped mental patient.

Harley: J- Red Hood, you are insulting your boyfriend!

Roy: I'm not insulted... We're not dating! I'm embarrassed for this Snowflame nutjob and pissed off.

Harley, turning to Snowflame: See what you done? He's mad.

Snowflame: Hahahahaha! Weak! Another freak who can't handle the true flame to life! I will never give up my COCAINE! COCAINE is my God, I am its vessel and I am- am the human instrument of its will!

Guitar riff stops.

Harley checks her invisible watch.

Harley: You done?

Snowflame crosses his arms waiting a second then nods.

Harley: Goodie… can we have a moment to chat?

Snowflame: Yes, I will prepare over here! Precious COCAINE let's get started.

Snowflame sits down on the ground where a cutting board is with a large pile of white powder. He starts chopping it up and treating it as if he was eating a fancy meal.

Jason stands chuckling at the insane come addict. Harley walks to Roy and yanks him by his arm. Maintaining a safe distance from...the cocaine powered super villain.

Harley: We got about a minute, look at that man's smile. There's only one thing runnin' through that coke fiend's mind and it's snortin' coke. What’s your plan, Jason?

Roy: What if-

Harley: Nuh-uh, R- Arrow man? Nah that's not it... I forget your hero name. Red head, I can not sleep in good faith having you close to him. I don’t want you relapsin'. Sit this one out.

Harley turns Roy the other way, snaps her fingers like a parent and points the other direction. Jason chuckles.

Jason: I hate that she does have a point... But she has a point. I got a contact high punching him once, so yeah sit out.

Roy: But-

Harley: Nuh-uh. Over there.

Roy: Man. It wasn't even coke I was addicted to, it was heroin and I've been clean for years! Damn it!

Roy takes a few steps away and sits down annoyed.

Harley: Jason, plan?

Jason: Can I shoot him?

Harley: Yeah, but he’s strange. He can take a bullet so I’m not sure-

Jason shoots Snowflame five times as the man bounces around after doing his boogar sugar. Snowflame falls to the ground. Five seconds pass. Snowflame jumps to his feet.

Jason: I forgot he could do that… okay that was kind of awesome.

Snowflame: FOOLS! You think your measly human bullets can stop the COCAINE that flows through my blood! I am a TRUE GOD! Fueled by sweet co-

Roy, at his breaking point: Would you shut up!

Roy shoots Snowflame with an arrow. The guitar riff cuts off, but the former addict pays it no mind.

Roy: I didn't go through withdrawals, one relapse, custody battles and losing my father figure for some 80s villain rant!

He shoots another arrow and another, and another. Totaling to four. Snowflame topples backward. One arrow in his arm, one in his stomach, one punctuating his hip, and the last in his thigh. Snowflame remains hyped up but severely injured.

Snowflame, weakly: Snowflame ... Will tap out.

Jason claps as Roy seethes.

Roy, angry: Such an asshole. I hate guys like that. I’m going to the car!

Harley nods, appreciating Roy's resilience, at least that's what she thinks. Jason could spot how aggravated he was at a coke addict bragging about something Roy struggled with and dug himself out of that dark hole.

Harley: I'm proud of him. High-five?

Jason walks past Harley to get Snowflame.

Jason: You’re lucky Arsenal got pissed off.

Harley shrugs and high fives herself.

Harley: My years as a rehab counselor paid off.

Jason: You were a drug counselor too?

Harley: I was a psychiatrist, duh. Who did not sleep with her teachers.

[faerievampling]

Hi! I don't know if you're still taking requests/prompts but I have a problem that afflicts my own life and thought it might make a great Astarion x reader/tav prompt!

How would Astarion respond to a partner that orgasms very quickly/easily? I'm talking orgasms from nipple play alone, and multiple orgasms from actual sex. I personally think he'd find it very amusing haha

Omggg you’re making my wheels turn and my heartbeat flutter. I LOVE imagining Astarion reacting to a partner with a sensitive body.

warning for 18+ content!!!

He would definitely find it very amusing. Astarion is an expert and knows exactly how to please you, and gods is he enthralled with your tender form.

I think he would take this as a great compliment to his own beauty and abilities, making his ego huge lmfao

But he might be surprised the first time you come for him as his pretty lips circle the bud of your nipple. He hadn’t even really touched you yet, and he slips his fingers beneath the waistband of your panties just to check, just to make sure he hadn’t imagined it: you had come just from his lips.

He would smirk at you before resuming his ministrations on you: you didn’t actually think he was done, did you?

Oh, Astarion would absolutely take advantage of this little quirk of yours. He would very much enjoy making you come over and over before ever putting his cock in you: once he finally does, you’re already a sticky, inviting mess, and you take his entire length with no resistance.

Astarion is very quick to notice how quickly you come from other forms of stimulation too: I just KNOW the tip of his cock would be perfect nestled up inside you, in that sweet spot that makes you mewl and see white when he hits it.

Astarion is desperate to have you convulse and contract around him: his fingers, his cock, he doesn’t care which, he just loves the feeling. (I think he’s really into making Tav come with his cock though, like its so simple and hot but idk it makes me feral) And you’re the perfect little thing to satisfy this desire of his.

Like, he will just make you come over and over on his cock.

Astarion would be an absolutely relentless tease. It would be his favorite hobby, bringing his hand beneath your shirt to cup your breasts, teasing you just enough to bring you to the edge of an orgasm. I could also see him totally brushing up against you, maybe cupping your breast in public, because we all know he’s a freak.

As an AFAB, you can come multiple times with no issue, and despite Astarion’s virility, he can’t quite keep up with you, even though he will certainly try: but you’ll have him fucked out, curls damp with sweat, clinging to his forehead, breathing heavy, his entire body numb from pleasure by round 3.

[l0vergirlatheart]

Idk if ur requests are open, but hear me out XD. A creator!reader who descends on Teyvat meets all the Archons and such. Then up and leaves by changing their appearance in order to explore their creation and how it has changed. Every once in a while Creator will make themselves obvious by performing acts only the Creator could. Once they are found out they just up and leave again only to resurface after another Divine act. TLDR: Creator playing cat and mouse with Teyvat

oh my GOD creator is just TORTURING then atp

small ramble because i still have massive writers block [cries] also ignore how late this is pls ok mwamwa thnx

c.w // yan. chars

song : Best Friend - Rex Orange County

SAGAU INCOMING : YAN CHARS.

okay so you decided 'hey man, what if i wasn't worshipped the moment i stepped outside'

so you just said fuck it and shifted

(it's been a while since you've done so, it kind of felt weird and hurt a tiny bit)

walking around teyvat in an odd, different form. completely different hair, height, clothes, you get the gist

the only things you couldnt change however were three things:

your blood (still gold, but you didn't plan on bleeding infront of anyone)

your aura (still comforting, caring, and even alluring)

your voice (why? zero clue.)

escaping the throne room you've oh so sadly been bound to!! having fun while doing it!!

(the only real reason you managed to escape is bc you managed to get the archons out and actually tend to their nations, as per your request order)

messing around while escaping fr!! people passing by wondering why this random person they've never seen is (not very) sneakily running away from the creator's palace/temple

but eventually shrugging it off, albeit reluctantly

messing around in mondstat, playing with the npc children more than you could usually, giving them the time of their life!!

this is where you use your first creator powers >:3

some poor kid scraped his knee real hard on the bridge, let's say timmie (hes so sweet he just wants to defend his birds pls b nice to him!!)

you, being the belovent god you are, use your divine powers to heal him

whether you do it with the hc of having to use your own gold blood or just having special healing powers only creator has, you do it

however, your dumbass mind hadn't thought of the fact that Venti may have been watching this

new outlander person with a mysterious aura

and now he quickly learns its you :0!!

the archons had no clue you could shapeshift!! why wasnt this in the ancient scrolls??? did they just lose the ones that mentioned it???

venti immediately finds some weird wind way to tell the other archons

fucking loud mouth

speaking of which, ei is freaking. out.

she came back to just check on you in your throne room and youre just.

not there??

panics, almost goes to zhongli before she gets venti's message and calms down slightly

atp you've realize you've outed yourself

so after making sure timmie is find you quickly run off into the forest before venti can come after you and smother you (both physically and with questions)

forest reached, new mission : new form needed

this basically keeps happening, and it's a needed breath of fresh air for you

running to liyue looking like a normal person until you magically form a special medicine that was unheard of from your hand for an elder, sickly lady

running from liyue to sumeru and shifting into!! an animal!! a fox!! cat!! tiger!! dog!! bird!! any of the sort!!

only getting outed from sumeru after you accidentally spoke while in animal form and having to go over to inazuma as an unknown, traveling sailor!!

getting outed after that for your extremely familiar aura and voice (inazuma people are scarily observant towards strangers) and eventually getting shoved escorted back to your palace/temple

funny stories to tell

however, the archons wont be leaving your room for quite a while..

oh well, who says you don't have other stunts to pull?

[dayziiducks]

'This ones for you'

m!crush x f!reader

when your only motivation to go to school on Monday is to see your crush's basketball game

warnings : cursing

i sighed as i walked to the washroom with my best friend, (bf/n), on a Monday morning as per usual. Unfortunately for me our school and most school things here are like 5 hours earlier than all schools so.. yippee more sleep deprivation. The only two things that keep me motivated to go to school are my friends, and my crush, (c/n).

Luckily for me we had physical education with his class today so actually had a reason to look forward to all that running. "man i wish that we could just have Mondays off it'd be so much easier.." i said to her groggily as we entered the washroom to change into our PE attire. "hmm if we did the you'd just be complaining about how you can't see (c/n) all day." "i guess that's true.. but i don't talk about him that much..ever since his dumbass went and joined basketball the girls in our cohort flock like crazy at even the slightest mention of his name..i know hot girls don't gatekeep but still." "Don't worry too much about it i'm sure you two will get together at some point it's just a matter of time." she replied playfully in attempts to reassure me. (c/n) and I get along pretty well but we never really established what we were so i'm always wondering what context he means his words in. Every time he says something that could be romantic my brain just says : he does that with all his friends, you're not special. But I digress.

We walked down to the indoor basketball court and gathered with our other classmates. And (c/n). Me being the coward that i am i avoided all eye contact knowing damn well that he'll just go ' What're you staring at.' like i'm staring at you staring at me. i didn't want him to get all cocky that i was staring at him though so i kept my glance on the floor. We then dispersed as our classmates hogged the basketballs and started playing 3 on 3. (bf/n) and I sat down on the stairs and watched as (c/n) laughed and played with the other guys. God he was so pretty. I went on my phone and started scrolling since i was so bored. i guess nothing was gonna happen today after all.

Then, a familiar voice caught my attention. "YO (y/n) ! THIS ONES FOR YOU !" (c/n) yelled as he shot the basketball into the hoop and grinned. his friends made remarks as they pat him on the back. my jaw dropped. my brain was thinking : (c/n), i love you, but OH MY FUCK ARE YOU STUPID THATS SO EMBARRASSING IM GONNA GET BULLIED AND SHOVED INTO LOCKERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. But in real life i just yelled back "Thanks" and smiled back at him. i could practically hear all the whispers from the people around me as (bf/n) elbowed me and said "ooh looks like that 'matter of time' is gonna happen soon"

As the bell rang and i started packing up to go to geography when (c/n) came up to me and said "yo (y/n) can you help me put bandaids on my fingers ? i got a few cuts from the game." "sure, oh yeah you must be thirsty..here take my water bottle. i didn't open it yet so its fine." i replied as i walked with him to the first aid station. He drank from my water bottle as i held his hands and tended to his cuts. Even his hands were pretty..I couldn't help but feel his gaze on me the whole time which made me feel giddy inside. "Here, all done." i said as i smiled at him. "Thanks (y/n)...if you don't mind maybe you can come with me to the new library that opened up near school ? i remember you telling me how you hated (subj/n) so i thought i could help you out with it." He offered as he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. "of course i really need help in it. And i recall you needing serious help in history. Maybe we can..help eachother?" i asked playfully "sure. we can meet up every Monday if thats okay?" he smiled at me. "fine by me" i said. "alright ! its a date." he said before running off to his next class leaving me to process what i just heard. i freaked out in my head before running off to my geography class to go tell (bf/n). Maybe i am special to him after all.

And maybe..just maybe..I’d start looking forward to Mondays too.

hii i hope you liked that i'll probably post the library date thing the day after tomorrow if you want it :) anyway please feel free to send requests since i'm having writers block rn so.

[roronoagem]

I keep thinking about Law and breeding kink but he doesn't want to risk it with pills. So anal it is-

-🦊 (I'm going insane for Christmas)

characters: trafalgar d. water law

content warning: +18 nsfw, anal sex, oral sex, afab!reader, dirty talk (i tried), law being a sweetheart btw + not proofread bc i’m scared of my smutty fics alright.

a/n: OH MY GOD I’M SO FREAKING SORRY, I THOUGHT I ALREADY POSTED IT LIKE A WEEK AGO ??? fuck. i’m even more sorry because i don’t think it turned out that good . . bc i realised that i haven’t written a breeding kink fic in a long time, i’m a bit scared about this piece LMAO.

now that i think about it, law would actually avoid pills and such because he knows of its negative effects, so he would never risk it. but he also feels this burning desire to fill you up, in a way or another.

when the solution came to you at the same time, law took the matter seriously as he decided to focus on preparing you and make sure it would be pleasurable for the both of you.

he basically spent days preparing you before actually try anal. when the day finally arrives, law would try his best to go as slow as possible as not to hurt you, he would always check on you, ask if it’s okay, if it hurts, etc.

trust me when i tell you that the second he sinks in bare he whines, low sounds escape his lips as he keeps his eyes closed, enjoying the moment fully. he grabs your hips and thrusts slowly into you. the soft mewls slipping out of your mouth spurs him on, as he starts moving a little faster.

“ah, you’re so tight… fuck–“ he groans, pulling you closer to him, getting your ass up from the mattress. he sneaks one of his hands between your thighs and searches for your clit, keeping in mind that you have to feel good too and he would never neglect your pleasure.

“law…” you moan softly into the pillow, the sound of skin slapping on skin filling the room accompanied by your moans and his grunts, as he momentarily gets lost in the pleasure.

“gonna fill you up…” he growls before sinking forward, thrusting into you a bit harshly. you can feel him twitch inside your tight hole, sinking your face further into the pillow as you desperately grip the sheets as two of his fingers play with your clit.

“look at how well you take me.”

law groans while hiding his face into your nape, squeezing his eyes shut as he reaches his climax, warm spurts of cum start filling you up. his thrusting slow down a bit, before halting completely as he breathes fast.

“you did so good, law,” you praise him, biting your lips. his fingers stop working on you, even though you aren’t done. “hmm,” he lazily pulls out, his gaze goes down and he watches as drops of cum slowly leak out of you.

he suddenly flipped you over, making you gasp in surprise. law swiftly finds himself face to face with your cunt and uses his hands to push your legs further open.

“sorry darling,” he murmured lowly before wrapping his lips around your throbbing clit, you moan and arch your back, hands flying to grab his hair as he finishes you off, holding you in place even after you just came right into his mouth.

“thank you,” law cups your face and kisses your lips gently. “did so good, so fucking good,” he praises you lowly, causing your already warm cheeks to heat up even more.