#okay back to our regularly scheduled content

[hobbititties]

Tell me why this Umbaran MF looks like he's wearing 501st blue–

😭😭😭

[bubblegum-blackwood]

Lestat de Lawn Chair.

[garpen]

Gotham Twitter AU Pt. 49

<<Part 48<< Master List >>TBC>>

Sorry for all the non-batfam related content lately. Here is your food, my loves.

Not me finally going back to the superbat storyline I abandoned for a few parts 🤭 Now back to our regularly scheduled program of me torturing you all with the slow burn/their stupidity

You: "But Bruce is smart and you're dumbing him down. He'd never accidentally text someone like that"

Me: Okay, and?

[simp-ly-writes]

What Would You Do?

─────── · · A The Comment Section (spin-off / pt.4.5)

Pairing: Spencer Agnew x gn!Reader

─ · · SUMMARY: In this standalone part, everyone finds out how Spencer seems to know you better than you know yourself and the comments go wild over it. It's still recommended that you read the series for the full effect.

─ · · TAGS: standalone, gender-neutral pronouns, social media au, attempt at comedy, light swearing, fluff, mutual pinning.

─ · · MASTERLIST | TAGLIST REQUEST | PART ONE | PART FIVE

─ · · A/N: thank you so much to the wonderful @sserendiipiity for this idea and sorry it took so long to write this! All original images belong to their owners, my work is my own. Asks are open for Smosh!

─────── · ·

Being in front of such a small crew was refreshing besides the hundreds of workers you were starting to get used to for your up-and-coming movie entrance. Still to this day, you didn't know how you landed such a part with all of your acting history coming from youtube but nevertheless as Courtney called you all to take your positions; a newfound anxiety found its way into your mind. This episode was solemnly focused on you and how well your fellow cast members and friends knew you.

Soon the heat of a thousand LEDs made you start to sweat as you smiled at the camera and introduced this weeks episode, "Hey guys, welcome to what would (name) do. And here today I am with my friends Trevor, Amanda, and of course, Spencer. Yes, we have been reading your comments everyone-"

The crew in the background began to laugh as Spencer shook his head with a small smile, foot taping yours from underneath the table as you waited for everyone to finish. "-and Spencer and I will be going back to our regularly scheduled content together. But thats besides the point! I am going to be reading these question cards that I totally wrote and your goal is to guess my answer. So if I said, 'Who do you think if the last person I messaged?" You all would answer..."

Putting the cards down quickly and going for your phone, you rolled your eyes at yourself for seeing who, as always was at the top of your history. Head now in your hands- knowing how quickly the fans would clip this next moment. Courtney began to count down behind the camera, voice trying to hide her giggles as everyone knew the answer right away.

Picking yourself up and trying not to make eye contact with anyone at the table, Courtney didn't even get a chance to hit one as both Trevor and Amanda have already flipped over their boards, arrowheads pointing towards Spencer with large grins strapped across their faces.

"And why do you think its you Spencer" you ask, not even having to look to look as you stare into the camera with a straight face. "Because we are each others conscious?" Spencer answers matter-of-factly, the smile he sends you breaks your character as you announce one point each before moving on to the next question.

"Okay, If I could learn any skill and be super good at it, what would it be?" You take a second after reading the card, unsure of your own answer as you look around the room for any ideas. Peering down the table, everyone seems to be writing a lot as you tap your marker lid against the table. Courtney begins to count down once more as Trevor rapidly erases his answer and writes down a new one as you raise your brow curiously before marking down your own.

"Let's see these answers, because I am unsure myself."

Trevor goes first out of the line, "I had a few ideas but I think I remember talking to you about being a better driver... that or being a quicker reader."

"I completely forgot about that- I would agree, being able to read and remember scripts super quickly would be awesome. Let's see what everyone else wrote down though, Spencer?"

"Well I said that you want to learn everything about music. I know that you always have wanted for some groups to make one more album or for others to pick up their sound. But what if you could make your own music just how you want it to sound?"

"Fuuucckkk, thats so good!" you moan out, trying to imagine everything you could make before your eyes flash back open in horror. You clasp your hands over your mouth before throwing your head back laughing as Spencer shoves your shoulder, "Not in front of the cameras!" He points dramatically at every single one as you grip his shoulder trying to calm yourself as he two joins your laughter.

Amanda had erased her answer by the time you two caught your breaths as Courtney asked off-camera why. "This game is what you kids would say, rigged. Like what am I going to say thats topping thing one and thing two here? But I was going to say skateboarding," Amanda responds in a lighthearted tone.

"Skateboarding?" Trevor asks, eyebrow raised as you nod your head, curious to learn the answer. "I don't know! I just thought it would be something cool that you would like to be really skilled at."

"I mean... it would be pretty cool. I could be all Tony Hawk Skate Park all around the office," you voice, picturing a future video idea before giving points out to Spencer.

─────── · ·

The video continues as expected, your fellow cast mates mocking annoyance and play-fighting amongst one another as Spencer nails question after question, often answering better than the answers you come up with for yourself about yourself.

At some point, Amanda and Trevor had tackled Spencer to the ground, begging him for answers as he held his hands, glasses askew as you sat and watched from your chair, tears stringing down your face as you hunched over, your stomach hurting from laughing so much as Courtney yelled for break, you all taking your fourty minutes to grab drinks and snacks at the cart.

"You do know how crazy the comments are going to be underneath the video, "OMG I ALWAYS KNEW SPENCER AND (NAME) WERE MARRIED'" Amanda mocks in an obnoxious girly tone as you shake your head, knowing her words to be all true true as Spencer leans down and steals a bite from for sandwich. You glare playfully at him as he turns around chewing, going to find Alex to ask how the other shoots are going back at Smosh Games.

"Well, its better than the hate. I thought I was actually going to get fired or killed if we didn't release that video soon enough," you respond a bit tensely as Trevor flicked your forehead. "Hey, none of that, (name). We all would've made sure it never came down to that."

Amanda nods in agreement as Spencer rejoins you both. He places his chin on your shoulder, asking you quietly, "How're you doing?"

"Better," you respond with a small smile, taking in his equally tired expression as you ask him the same question. He hums out positively before leading you both back in front of the camera.

As soon the red dot starts to flicker in your face once more and before you can finish the question, Amanda had already stood up, chair screeching against the floors as the table shook from her enthusiasm as she screamed out her answer. "Describe what you think I would wear tomorrow-"

"SOMETHING OF SPENCERS AND JEANS, where are my points?! Take THAT SPENCER!" Amanda dances for the camera, fingers flipping the man off as you hide behind the board, giving her the point as no one else bothers to answer.

─────── · ·

"And for our second to last question today..." you all were starting to grow loopy. After a full day of shoot after shoot, you all started screaming out random things at one another, sometimes without context and the outline of a gameshow had gradually turned into a shouting fest. "...Fuck, Marry, Kill-"

"SPENCER, SPENCER, SPENCER," Alex shouted from off-camera, chest raised proud of his throw-back answer to an earlier episode as Amanda wheezed out, Trevor throwing his board for the bit, "that was going to be my answer too!"

Spencer's ears had flared bright red as he started off into the distance. You hide your face in your hands once more, shoulders rising and falling with silent laughs before managing to read the rest of the actual question left.

─────── · ·

By the end of the shoot, Spencer had one as he raised your hands together cheering before taking a bow to the crew and then the camera. "Well, to no one's surprise, Spencer won todays episode but I have to say, you all surprised me with your answers. It feels so good to know I have all of you as my friends. And to all of those watching at home, be sure to check back in the next few days to find the new content we have cooking up. Bye!" You all wave towards the camera's before the screen shuts of to black.

─────── · ·

A few weeks later...

🔔 Smosh Pit just posted! watch now?

─────── · ·

What Would (name) Do?

Smosh Pit ✓ [Subscribed] Like 132k | Dislike | ... 8.29M subscribers 430k views 1 day ago you'll never guess who wins this episode! click to read more

3,333 Comments

username01 1 day ago The team was COOKING on this video. username11 1 day ago Well, this is one way to shut us all up and goddam it I'll take it all! username44 1 day ago Anyone else had to pause this video multiple times to look at the camera in their room and scream BC this was TOO much for little ol'me to handle. username13 12 hours ago "You'll never guess who wins," - yeah right. ▼ 50 replies ↳ username88 4 hours ago IKR? The bigger shock would have been if Spencer was banned from participating hahaha. ↳ username20 12 hours ago Kinda feel like he should've been. I mean the cast was taking it great but it must get kinda annoying how he knows every answer. Some even seemed like (name) didn't even know themselves! ↳ username54 30 minutes ago This is concrete evidence to the (yourshipname) case, these two idiots belong together. username73 12 hours ago I am salivating over all of the edits I know will come from this video. Where is @ (yourshipname)updates when you need them? ▼ 1 reply ↳ (yourshipname)updates ✓ 10 hours ago I am here and am happily overworked! We are eating good folks! username52 30 minutes ago Trevor and Amanda pinning Spencer to the ground with (name) cry-laughing in the background was not a meme format I thought I needed. I can't wait for the next Who Meme'd It!! username14 1 day ago "Spencer, Spencer, Spencer" - Alex Tran 2024 username02 just now I honestly thought they would all be quicker to name Spencer as (name)'s lest message. Like whenever they are not actively filming I swear I see them smiling at their phones in the background of videos. username05 23 hours ago (name) and Spencer: try not to fall in love. difficulty? impossible. username66 15 minutes ago Amanda calling the game "rigged" was so good. BC let's all be real here, this was fan service at its finest and i'm not even upset about it. username70 1 day ago The fact that they kept (name)'s: "Fuuucckkk, thats so good!" in is shocking to say the least. These edits about to be straight WILD. username23 14 hours ago There's literally to much to comment about, I am going insane. username80 1 hour ago "SOMETHING OF SPENCERS AND JEANS, where are my points?! Take THAT SPENCER!" Amanda has confirmed what we all believe people, let us all thank her in the comments below \/ ▼ 44 replies ↳ username54 30 minutes ago Yes, thank you dear Amanda!! ↳ username90 30 minutes ago I love confirmation bias. ↳ username54 just now I love how Spencer wasn't even mad. Like bro was damn smug about that fact while (name) was blushing so hard thinking none of us would ever catch on XD

─────── · ·

─ · · A/N: I am kinda obsessing over (name) and Spencer...

─ · · TAGLIST: @lisiliely @missflufffanfics @little-stitious-studios

[buurmanuitwien]

hii love ur new joost imagin, if your reqs are opened i wanted to request a joost x reader where theyre dating and they do the trend grwm except my boyfriend does the voiceover

ofc!! i hope u enjoy, sorry it's short, finals szn is evil >:(

grwm

influencer!reader x joost

fem!reader x joost

description: you're an influencer, and joost does your voiceover.

//fluff

word count: .6k

WARNING: RPF FANFICTION AHEAD

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶

a/n: sorry if your not from a german speaking country, pretend it's whatever language u speak from that one line

“Try being an influencer for a day,  try it.” is by far your favorite Tiktok quote. 

Because you have! You are actively an influencer and by god is it easy. A minute long video of you doing your makeup every morning, with a vlog, fit check, or rant video later, and you made enough to live comfortably. This left you with time to do your favorite things, put your full effort into side projects that result in something you love, volunteering at your local Women’s shelter, spending time with your boyfriend.

Who, by the way, your fans adore. When you first hard launched it was an odd mingling of fanbases. The fans of his music weren’t exactly the type of people who’d watch a pretty girl list her pet peeves while washing her face. But then again, your fans, your actual fans, the ones that followed every side project of yours and met it with overwhelming praise and enthusiasm, they were the type to be into Joost’s stuff. In fact, one of the top comments was “OMG MY TWO WORLDS COLLIDING”. But over the years, as you have evolved into a more individual creator, Joost and you became a unit. You had ad libbed on a number of his songs, he was in many of your videos, so on and so forth. 

So it wasn’t surprising for your followers to receive your latest video. You at your desk filled the screen, and Joost’s voice began to play.

“What is up guys? It’s Joost, and I’m here to voice over mijn meisje’s morning routine.” Joost exclaimed, intro practiced and perfect from his days being a content creator. 

“Joost!” Your followers can hear you whisper laugh. “They don’t speak dutch!”

“Um okay. Hallo zusammen. Guten Tag.” He speaks in short, terrible german. 

You start to laugh again, but it's quickly covered by Joost’s commentary. “So first, she puts these clips on, forehead out. Now she's putting something on her face uh..”

He trails off as you put REFY primer on your face. You weren’t a fan of the primer, but you chose it for the video because it looks like-

“Is that fucking jizz?!” Joost shrieks and you lose it in the background. 

The video goes silent for a second before a new recording starts. “Sorry for the interruption, back to regularly scheduled programming.” 

You begin to put on foundation as Joost says, “Now we’re onto the base, AKA contour.”

A quiet “no” accompanied by a giggle has him correcting himself. “No, she says no.” he says, trying to stifle a laugh. 

You begin to blend with a beauty blender as Joost says, “Now we are hitting ourselves in the face. Why?” 

He pauses for a second as you show off a blush palette to the camera and begin to apply. “Okay now we are putting on some blush on our cheeks to um… make em red, make us look more.. Happy?” Joost tries. 

You cackle but quiet immediately as a new body enters the frame. Joost is now on screen, as voice over him gleefully says, “Oh eyeliner! I know this one! But who's that sexy guy?”

Video-Joost carefully lifts up your chin, eye pencil in hand. As he carefully begins to apply it, voiceover-Joost is loudly complaining. “Who does he think he is? Touching my girlfriend like that.” Joost finishes applying your eyeliner in the video and presses a kiss to your forehead. Voiceover-Joost is still loudly complaining, until the sound of a pillow hitting his head shuts him up. The video ends with you smiling and waving at the camera as Joost says softly, “Oh mijn liefde, zo mooi.”

[formulafics]

★ THE JPG CHRONICLES | PART 4

Scenario: in which the grid and fan favorite mclaren reserve driver opens a jpg account, but it isn’t what was expected. this time around, yn ln finally reveals who her boyfriend is.

Pairing: f1 grid x fem!reader

A/N: guys, we’ve made it to the last part of the jpg chronicles. i just want to thank everyone who’s followed along with this and i hope you enjoy 🫶🏻 also paying homage to the pink and orange theme since all of the other parts use that!

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3

yn.jpg

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, oscarpiastri, mclaren, and 245,678 others

yn.jpg VEGAS BABY ‼️ mom (my pr manager) said i can’t say what i want to say about the race. she also said if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all…so anyways vegas is pretty cool race aside 🥰

view all 5,432 comments

yn.jpg shoutout to @/logansargeant for his first appearance on this account!

⤷ logansargeant thank you yn

⤷ yn.jpg your welcome!!

landonorris caption is real

norrisnation yn speaking for the lando girlies (gn) once again

rizzciardo LMFAO REFERRING TO YOUR PR MANAGER AS MOM

⤷ yn.jpg she is mother

alphatauritaurialpha yn this isn’t a bf reveal :/

⤷ yn.jpg babe i promise the bf reveal is coming. i have plans for it

⤷ piastrispastry YOU GOT CALLED BABE BY YN YOU WIN AT LIFE

racing.news

liked by ynln.official, pierregasly, landonorris, snd 56,782 others

racing.news sources say yn ln is ‘in trouble’ with mclaren team principal due to her second instagram account where she is notorious for posting funny pictures of her coworkers.

view all 2,347 comments

norrisnation so this is why she’s delaying the bf reveal

ynln.official HELP???? IM NOT IN TROUBLE WHAT 😭

mickshumacher @/ynln.official 😳

⤷ ynln.official mick do not feed into this madness you’re better than that

⤷ sunnyshumacher mick and yn may not be dating but i love their friendship so much LMAO

landonorris im crying this is so funny

⤷ ynln.official of course you’re here

mclaren can’t take her anywhere 🫣

⤷ ynln.official ENOUGH

rizzciardo YN IN THE COMMENTS IS SENDING ME THIS IS SO FUNNY

yn.jpg and yukitsunoda0511

liked by landonorris, yukitsunoda0511, maxverstappen1, pierregasly, fernandoalo_official, and 367,891 others

yn.jpg home is wherever he is. ❤️

view all 5,672 comments

yukitsunoda0511 i love you ❤️

⤷ yn.jpg I LOVE YOU

landonorris the day has finally come 🙏🏻

⤷ yn.jpg stfu

fernandoalo_official 👍

⤷ yn.jpg dad approved. thank you nando

norrisnation ARE WE OFFICIALLY GETTING THE BF REVEAL? IS THIS THE REVEAL? IM GOING INSANE

yukitauri WAR IS OVER

yukitauri MY BABIES IM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

yukitauri ALSO MY PARENTS ‼️ MY PARENTS ONLY BC YALL ARE HATERS

yukitauri THROWING UP RIPPING MY HAIR OUT YN IT IS A DAMN TUESDAY YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME RIGHT NOW

rizzciardo i expect an increase in content of them. i need it

formulatsunoda ykw i’ll be so honest i did NOT expect it to be yuki but im not mad 🤭

yn.jpg

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, logansargeant, alex_albon, yukitsunoda0511 and 354,672 others

yn.jpg back to our regularly scheduled program 😼

view all 3,465 comments

yn.jpg i am @/fernandoalo_official btw and he is @/ynln.official. he’s just a silly teenage-ish girl

⤷ dreamyalbon YN PLEASE WHAT 😭

⤷ fernandolandoland okay but her relationship with fernando is so wholesome she rlly is his grid child

alex_albon nurse, she’s out again

⤷ yn.jpg 🤺

maxfewtrell this account is my roman empire

⤷ oscarpiastri same mate

maxsupermax we are so back

yukitauri idk about yall but i won’t be moving on from the bf reveal that is my home

yn.jpg @/schecoperez not commenting = hater 😿

thank you for reading! all feedback is appreciated — dae <3

GENERAL TAGLIST | @renarots @jsjcue @treehouse-mouse @lovstappen @illicitverstappen @minkyungseokie @arkhammaid @vroomvroomverstappen @vellicora @stopeatread @topguncultleader @cixrosie @leclercvsx @motorsp0rt @piasstrisblog @lokietro @spidersophie

JPG TAGLIST | @dl-yum @youdontknowmeshh @lighttsoutlewis @kodzuvk @sofs16 @raevyng @p4st3lst4rs @1655clean @judespoision @evans-dejong @leireggsworld @landosgirlxoxo @3joracha @lanando4 @toasttt11 @gaslysainz @sadg3 @scenesofobx @leilanixx @zaynzierulez @flippingmyshit @goldenharrysworld @celesteblack08 @thatoneembarrasingmoment @willowpains @coolio2195 @bey0ndne0 @sheslikeacurse @sadg3 @biitch-with-wifi @torchbearerkyle @plutotcles @cherry-piee (more tags in comments + some would allow me to tag 💔)

[honeyhotteoks]

across stardust - four (j.yh)

summary: you and yunho have worked together for years, idol and makeup artist, but until today you’ve never touched him skin to skin. when the world tilts on its head from just a brush of his cheek, you realize he’s so much more than a crush, he’s your soulmate. three | four | five | series masterlist 🔗read on ao3✨across stardust pinterest board

note: okay we're um.... getting into it now. hold onto your lightinys, and trust me.... part five isn't too far behind.

tags/warnings: idol!yunho, makeup artist!reader, fem!reader, soulmates au, soulmate identifying marks, soulmate tattoos, tattoed!reader, anxiety/nerves, mentions of insomnia/serious exhaustion/being overworked, no smut in this one but there's some definite fluff, some sexist language used towards reader, not by any of our boys

pairings: yunho x reader

genre: fantasy, romance, smut || soulmates au

word count: 11.2k

Be additionally cautious means that this time, instead of secret rendezvouses, you don’t see Yunho at all. 

What no one really remembered that night in the studio is just how jammed the next few weeks if not months of their schedules were. The hidden truth about idol life is that even when you’re not in the middle of a comeback, schedules are just as  tight and days are still a minimum of ten to twelve hours. If you’re not promoting one album, you’re recording or filming context for the next, planning the tour, writing music, filming variety content, and being active on social media. There’s a constant, required drip of content that requires a constant, required effort from every single member of the team. 

It’s a job that burns people out regularly, especially at a company this size. 

So you’ve seen Yunho at the office, but not much more than that, and since you don’t even do his makeup regularly there’s not an opportunity for even an hour of closeness even if it’s just in stolen glances. 

You’ve been getting regular text updates though, and you and Yunho communicate on Kakao Talk like you're in a long distance relationship even when you’re feet away from each other. 

They’ve met and worked out their own requirements for early renegotiation, but now comes the secret meetings with lawyers and planning their approach, which is hard to do between all of their schedules on top of a quick promotional week in Japan for three stages, two special appearances, and multiple fansigns for their last album. 

The hours have been near comeback levels of workload, and while management has promised vacation time once it passes, that seems farther and farther away with every minute you’re not sleeping and every minute you’re not with him. 

Today is more of the same. 

Now back in Korea, you at least have access to your own bed, but today is an early morning shoot at four thirty so that the music video directors can have optimal light, so you still have barely slept. Yunho’s awake, you can feel that through the bond, but he and two other members haven’t arrived to set yet, a product of winning the ladder game and getting a little more time to themselves in the morning before call time. 

After you finish Seonghwa’s base, he asks to take a quick break and you sink into the chair to get off your feet for a moment, yawning heavily. 

That’s a cute sweater - Your phone vibrates with the message and you smile, eyes flicking up to the mirror to catch Yunho, Wooyoung, and San just coming in the far studio door. 

Morning x - You reply. 

You watch him in the reflection as he smiles softly at your message, typing out a response.

How’s it been so far? - He asks.

You sigh - Quiet, everyone’s exhausted after the trip.

You had all returned from Japan only yesterday, and though you’re not contending with jet lag, you’re all still balancing heavy schedules and the switch up between home and away. 

This should help then - Is Yunho’s next message, and you’re not sure what he means until you hear him behind you. 

“Morning,” Yunho says to the room, getting everyone’s attention but keeping his voice soft, “we’ve got coffees on the back table for everyone,” 

There’s a collective groan of appreciation. 

“Thank god,” Dahan says, “I’ll get ours,” 

You jump up before you can stop yourself, “I got it,” 

“Oh,” She takes a step back, smiling, “thanks girl,” 

“For sure, Hwa’s on break anyways,” 

Eunji and Dahan both return their focus to the members in front of them, but Iseul gives you a sly smile. You shoot her an eye roll and head towards the loosely formed circle around the back table. 

“You didn’t have to do all this,” You hear Wonshik say as he grabs a cup. 

“Ah,” San shrugs, “it’s too early to film, we couldn’t let everyone go without a little strength,” 

Jongho slips through the side, a roller and clips still in his hair, to find the iced americanos, “Let me know what we owe you,” 

Yunho waves him off, “You’re good,” 

As you get a little closer, you finally meet his eyes and you trade a little smile. You keep it professional, as always, but the warmth in both your chests at just stepping a little closer to one another is undeniable. 

“Thanks for this,” You tell all three of them. 

San and Wooyoung both grin, but step away fast, leaving you almost alone at the table with Yunho. 

“Here,” He picks up a cardboard carrier with four hot cups, “this one's for you and the team,” 

“Oh,” You smile, “thank you, Yunho,” 

“Mhm,” He taps the lid on one cup and nods, “this one’s yours,” 

You glance to the side, but no one’s lingering around too close so you look back as you take the cups, eyebrows raised. 

“Extra shot,” He murmurs, “and vanilla,” 

You could kiss him. 

“Anyways,” He leans back and puts some space between you, “I hope it’s still warm enough.” 

“It’s perfect,” You hear Seonghwa’s voice behind you, you have to go back to work, “thank you,” 

He nods, and you force yourself to turn around, to put your face back on and get back to work. At your station, you slip your coffee cup out of the carrier and leave it on your side table.

”Lattes,” You place one on each station behind the other makeup artists. 

“Perfect,” Eunji turns from Hongjoong and snaps the cup up, “I’m so tired I could inject this,” 

Everyone laughs softly and nods, and you yawn as you get back to your station, taking a long sip of your coffee. 

“Mm,” Dahan says as she wipes her lip and nods towards you, “what’d you get?” 

“Hmm?” You don’t really understand her question. 

She nods towards your coffee, and you lift the cup to glance at the side. 

There’s a hastily drawn English initial there in sharpie, matching your name, and you laugh, “Oh, mine just has vanilla,” 

You’re getting good at fighting through those waves of panic that people might be catching on, better at lying around every turn, so you keep yourself relaxed and shrug this off.

”I like vanilla,” Eunji comments. 

Your eyes connect for a hair with Iseul. 

Seonghwa interjects smoothly though, “I’ll tell Sannie for next time, we were just talking about coffee at that spot in Hyogo, he must have remembered,” 

“That’s thoughtful,” Dahan nods, “you take care of us too well,” 

“Ah,” Hongjoong adds, bringing the attention away from you, “please, it’s the least we can do when you’re always awake an hour before us.” 

“I’ll never complain about coffee,” Iseul smiles and then shifts the conversation like a professional, “Eun, do you have any spare cotton buds? I’m smudging this mascara,” 

“You’ve got to use the guards,” Eunji says, going off on one of her favorite tangents, shifting through her station for her beauty gadget of the moment, and you let Iseul take the reins on that so you can fade right out of their thoughts. 

Seonghwa gives you a quick smile when you turn to him, and you quietly rotate the lid on your coffee so that the initial faces away from them and towards your body. 

“So,” You focus again, smiling at Seonghwa, “how much glitter today? A subtle wash, or a truly tragic amount?” 

He laughs, relaxing into your chair again, “Somewhere in the middle, but I really want these contacts to pop in the closeups,” 

“Got it,” You find your favorite palette for him, setting your coffee to the side, your thumb unconsciously brushing over Yunho’s handwriting as you do. 

The morning gets a little easier after that. The surprise caffeine has put everyone in good spirits, and filming days, while stressfully tight and complicated, are still some of the more fun days you get to have at this job. The pressure is a little lighter without a live performance, and there’s always room for the members to relax and joke around a bit which tends to spread infectiously towards the staff. 

You watch them work with quiet affection, thinking of how quickly they fell into step with you and Yunho the moment they realized what you were to each other. That night in the studio has brought you closer to them in many ways, even if subtle and unspoken, and Yunho looks like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders now that his brothers know. 

He feels happier, despite the stress and long hours, and you’ve relaxed considerably with him as such a pillar of strength. 

Early into the afternoon it’s time for solo and unit shoots, and you find yourself in a largely unoccupied area of the set with Wooyong as you finish cleaning off his first coat of makeup. As you prep your tools, he gently nudges your leg with the tip of his boot. 

“You good?” He asks softly, with a friendly expression. 

“I’m good,” You answer automatically, plastering back on your smile. 

“You don’t look good,” He says plainly. 

You glance around the room, but it’s still empty, “Uh, thanks?” 

“You look exhausted,” He clarifies. 

“We’re all exhausted, it’s no big deal,” 

He cocks his head slightly to the slide as you mix a fresh batch of his foundation shade together on the stainless steel pallet in your hands, “Are you sleeping?” 

You shrug, “When I can,”

”Because he’s not sleeping,” Wooyoung points out, “which is weird, he used to be able to nap anywhere,” 

Your mouth snaps shut, lips pressed together. Wooyoung has always been painfully observant, but this goes the extra step. 

“Yeah,” Is all you can muster up. 

“Damn,” He murmurs, “can you not sleep if the other person is awake?” 

Your eyes scan the room again, “Uh,” you shrug again, “kind of? I mean, you can, definitely, but I don’t know… things are weird right now, and new.” 

He nods, tilting his face up so you can start his foundation again, “The physical separation affects you?” 

He’s not going to let it go, so you sigh, “I think so,” 

“Hmm,” He chews the inside of his lip for a moment as he considers that, “that makes sense,” 

“Does it?” 

“Sure,” He says like it’s only natural, “I mean, you’re literally connected. It would make sense that it gets stronger or feels better when you’re together and it’s the opposite when you’re apart.” 

You’ve read articles that propose that same idea, but so much of the scientific research into soulmates and bonds just isn’t there. Especially not on something like separating soulmates or testing physical proximity, not when the pull towards each other is so strong, it’s practically obvious you’re not supposed to be apart and a study like that would be unnecessarily cruel. 

You’re quiet for a moment, thinking that through, but then Wooyoung asks a question softly, “Does it hurt?” 

You blink, “Does what hurt?” 

“Not being with him?” 

As if on cue, your chest aches, and you nod, “Yeah,” 

“Like pain?” Wooyoung’s brows draw together. 

“Not… pain exactly,” You try to explain, “it’s just this… weight, maybe? Or ache?”

”I’m sorry,” He murmurs, “that sounds hard,” 

You feel Yunho deep in the bond, a tiny tug on the cord that connects you, a wordless question. 

You smile at the sensation and Wooyoung looks more confused. You shake your head, “Sorry,” you laugh softly, “he’s checking on me,” 

Wooyoung’s mouth drops open, “That’s amazing,” 

You nod, before brushing your fingers over your mark, sending a wave of reassurance back to him. 

Wooyoung’s eyes flick down to watch the motion and back up, “And you’re…” 

“Telling him I’m fine,” You feel your face warm up a bit. 

“Wow,” He murmurs, a grin spreading on his face, “I can’t wait to know what that feels like,” 

You smile, returning your attention to the makeup palette in your hands. 

“y/n,” He says, “I really think it’s going to work out, I think people will be so happy for you both.” 

For a moment his earnestness makes you believe him, and you thank him softly before you focus on his makeup, you don’t tell him about all the things you’ve seen online that tell you otherwise. 

In the weeks that have gone by, you haven’t been able to stop yourself from researching. 

In your deep dives you’ve found very little to comfort you. 

Two idols have found their soulmates, but their relationships were announced quietly years into retirement from public life, and even then the articles were full of negative comments. 

Plenty of idols have gone through dating scandals, and that always seems to end one of two ways. Either the company says nothing and the rumor fades into nothing, or the evidence is too damning and the destructive cycle of public outcry and idol disgrace continues until companies and contracts break down. 

Yunho has popped up in a couple of unfounded dating rumors, but even those comments made you ill. The way they turned on him, and the way they speculated about his non-existent mystery partner certainly contributed to your sleepless nights. 

Wooyoung’s confidence is almost sweetly naive for someone in the industry. 

You finish his makeup and make it through several more hours of standing around on set ready to hop in and touch up your members between takes. You hold on to the feeling of Yunho’s adrenaline while he practices and performs for the camera to keep you going. 

Hours later, the shoot has started to dwindle down to the people left who still have filming to go or members on set but both Wooyoung and Seonghwa wrapped and went home by the time you make it back to the set’s break tent. 

It’s quiet here, just a collection of plastic tables with snacks and water bottles, some seats, and organized chaos of everyone’s belongings. You could fall asleep right here. 

You’re nearly drifting, your body exhausted after a day of standing, and you sink into one of the break tent’s folding chairs, eyelids heavy. It’s empty for now, a good number of staff already gone for the day, but Yunho’s solo shoot is last and all you want is to see him one more time before you drag yourself home. 

Your head lolls to the side and you don’t know if you really sleep or not, but the next thing you register is a gentle hand on your hair. 

Sucking in a sharp breath, you blink your tired eyes open, “Mm,” 

“Hey, sweetheart,” Yunho murmurs softly, “time to wake up,” 

“Y-Yun?” You blink again, yawning as you shift out of the awkward position. 

“What are you still doing here?” He murmurs. 

“I guess I fell asleep,” You sweep a hand under your eyes, “is the shoot over?” 

He nods, “It’s already nine,” 

You look to your watch, surprised to see he’s right, “God,”  

He lovingly strokes your hair again, “Let’s get you home,” 

You sigh into his touch for a brief moment and then he steps back and you push yourself to standing. He takes one fast glance towards the tent opening before dipping down and kissing you once, just a quick indulgence of his lips on yours before he takes a few large steps back to leave a healthy gap between your bodies. 

“How was your day?” He smiles, starting to gather his belongings. 

“Good,” Your skin is still buzzing from the kiss, but you shake it off and look for your own bag, “long,” 

“Mm,” He nods, “same,” 

“How was the shoot?” You start to say, but voices outside catch both of your attention.

You didn’t realize many people were still here. 

You quickly pull on your coat and snap up your bag.

Wonshik, one of their managers, steps into the tent, all of his focus on the phone in his hands, “You ready?” 

“Yep,” Yunho nods, and you notice the other voices of your coworkers are hovered by the door as they talk animatedly about something you can't quite catch.

Wonshik responds but you miss his words, your mind still foggy with sleep. 

“Hyung,” Yunho says, “can we give y/n a ride, it’s late,” 

Wonshik looks up from his phone and finally notices you in the room, “Oh,” he nods, “sure, hey y/n,”

”Hey,” You normally would protest, but you’re dead on your feet, “you sure you don’t mind?”

”All good,” 

The tent flap opens again and San, Eunji, Iseul, and a few BB Trippin dancers start to step in, still mid conversation. 

Wonshik catches your attention though “Where do you live?” 

“Seongsu,” Yunho says it before you can open your mouth and a strike of alarm twists in your chest before he smoothly recovers, “you were just saying how close you are to the studio,”

”Yeah,” You nod, catching on to his misdirection, “super close, I usually walk,” 

Wonshik nods, “No problem, do you have everything? Another early one tomorrow,”

“Sure, I’m ready when you are,” You nod to them both. 

Wonshik turns, reaching into his pocket for his keys, and heads for the entrance again. You and Yunho exchange a quick look, and he nods for you to go first. 

“Good night,” You say to everyone as you pass by. 

They give you a good night, and as you pass each other, you feel Yunho’s tall presence behind you. He says something to San, and gives one of the BB dancers a fist bump for something that happened on set, but then for the first time in weeks he moves without thinking. 

“See you in the morning,” Yunho says, and then turns to follow you, his hand settling on your mid back to guide you forwards out of the tent. 

It takes you both a second to realize what you’ve done, the weight of his hand feeling familiar and right against your back, but you hear San say something loudly enough he could only be making a distraction and your gut twists. 

Yunho drops his hand, shoving it in his coat pocket. 

You feel the rapid pick up of his heart, the apology that he wants to give you but can’t in front of other people. You want to tell him it’s fine, no one saw, and even if they did it was the most mild, brief touch imaginable, but you bite your tongue and climb into the waiting car. 

Wonshik drives you home, and despite the closeness of your bodies in the backseat of the car, Yunho keeps his eyes on the window and an ocean between you. 

Two more days of shoots like that have you propped up on coffee and sheer force of will alone. 

You keep almost falling asleep everywhere, and you’re sure that to any of your coworkers who don’t know about Yunho and your sudden soulmate insomnia, you look terrible. 

“You’ve got to figure out this sleep thing,” Iseul says, nudging your shoulder as she collapses next to you on the couch in your offices at the KQ main building. It’s getting late, finally time to go home, but you just need a second to yourself before trying to muster up the strength to catch the train or risk falling asleep in another Uber. 

You sigh, “I know.”

“Is Yunho still avoiding you?” She asks. 

“He’s not avoiding me,” You huff a tired laugh into your sweatshirt sleeves, “he literally can’t when we’re literal soulmates.” 

He’s been a little distant since the other night, but it’s to be expected. You don’t need him to explain, you can feel it. He’s been looping through the line of mistakes from that night; the kiss, knowing your address, the back touch, all brought on by your joint exhaustion and the constant magnetic energy of the bond that tugs inside you, willing you to touch, to be close. 

“y/n,”

“Sorry,” You sigh, “I’m tired, but no he’s not. He’s just keeping some distance after the other night, he slipped up and he’s beating himself up over it,” 

“It’s a platonic enough touch,” She says, and you’ve heard this argument from her before, “and no one saw,”

“Mm,” You nod, “this is just how he deals.”

“By shutting you out?”

“By hyperfocusing on work,” You correct, “we’re texting, it’s fine, Iseul,”

“Fine,” She says with a sigh, “I just want my best friend back to healthy and happy,” 

You give her a close lipped smile, “Soon,” 

The door opens and you look up as Eunji, Dahan, and Eunwoo from the hair styling team come in, Hongjoong rounding the corner behind them. Hongjoong and Eunwoo are mid conversation, and the other members of your makeup team are carrying an arm full of vending machine snacks.

“How bad do you think I’ll break out after only living on Turtle Chips and caffeine this week?” Dahan groans and you smile.

“I’m telling you,” Eunji shakes the clear box in her hands, “the vending machine salads are surprisingly good,” 

“How? It’s a literal vending machine,” Dahan’s nose crinkles. 

They keep bickering, almost ignoring you and Iseul completely, but then you hear your name out of Hongjoong’s mouth and it catches everyone’s attention. 

“y/n,” Hongjoong says as he steps towards your group and makes eye contact with you, “I actually had something I wanted to talk to you about, do you have a few minutes while I’m already down here? Seonghwa wanted me to pass a bit of feedback back to you,” 

Your eyebrows raise, “Um, sure,” 

Your teammates glance at each other in a bit of confusion, it’s rare for the boys to give you feedback like this, if at all after working with each other for so long, but they let it lie and don’t interject. 

He waits for you, and then nods towards the hall. 

“Right,” You pull yourself up and brush your hands over your wrinkled trousers, “no problem,”

“Text me later,” Iseul says as she stays with Dahan and Eunji, and as you step away you feel their curious glances at you, leaving a strange pit in your exhausted stomach. 

Hongjoong steps into the hall and walks down towards the lobby on this floor, an empty space between elevators with no office doors or onlookers to overhear. 

Once you’re alone with him, you cross your arms over your chest, “Hwa needed you to give me feedback? What did I do?” You smile, keeping it light. 

He waits until he’s sure everyone’s out of earshot, and then he looks back at you, “Nothing, I just needed an excuse to talk to you for a second,” 

“Oh,” You relax. 

“My office,” He starts, “my recording booth, you know where it is?” 

You nod, “Sure,” 

“When the red light is on, no one ever bothers me, not even a knock,” He tells you. 

“Okay,” The word stretches on your lips, confusion on your face to be sure. 

He sighs, “Sometimes when comebacks get tight like this, members will use my studio to get a quick hour of sleep,” 

“Ah,” You nod, “okay,” 

“People will start heading home soon,” He points out, “but we’re all working late and have practice,” 

“I know,” You nod, “Yunho said it would be another late one,” 

“He’s in my studio,” Hongjoong continues, “and you both look exhausted. Wooyoung said you’re not sleeping either,” 

You shake your head a bit, “I’m fine, you all have enough to worry about,” 

He smiles softly, “I worry about my members,” 

Your shoulders drop, “You’re worried I’m affecting Yunho’s work,” 

“No,” He waves a hand to dispel that thought, “that’s not it, y/n. I know we haven’t spoken since that night at the studio, so I can understand why you’d think that, but no. I admit, I also wanted to apologize to you for how I reacted, the things I said.” 

“Thank you,” You manage. 

“I did some reading,” He admits, “I was… wrong, what I thought the connection was for you both, I didn’t understand and after what Yunho said that night, I did research.” 

“Oh,” 

“What I’m trying to say is,” He glances quickly to make sure you’re still not being overheard, his voice maintaining his low tone, “If I’m worried about Yunho, that means I’m worried about you too. You’re feeling these schedules just like he is, and your exhaustion is feeding off each other. I’m worried about you both, and I can only imagine how much worse the stress is making things,” 

If you weren’t so tired, down to your marrow, his words might not make you so emotional but you take a sharp breath and nod, feeling a pinprick of tears behind your eyes. 

“So,” He says with a small smile, “Yunho’s in my office trying to get a couple hours of rest, and I think you should join him. Get some sleep, we’ll text him if something comes up and we’ll cover for you both. Just be careful going in and out, but at this hour things should be pretty quiet.” 

“Hongjoong,” You say his name in a breath, “I don’t know what to say,” 

“You’re good,” He waves that off too, almost uncomfortable with the sudden emotion you’re trying to keep tamped down. 

“Thank you,” You smile, “really,” 

He nods and steps away, “Alright, I have to get to a schedule,” 

He doesn’t, and he knows you know that, but you let him off the emotional hook with ease and make your way to the stairs. 

Hongjoong’s office is close, which means Yunho is too and your chest starts to warm with anticipation. 

Quietly, you make your way down the recording studio hallway and it’s blissfully, absolutely silent. Ahead is Hongjoong’s door, a red light above acting like a do not disturb sign, and with one more fast second glance up and down the empty hall, you turn the handle and step over the threshold in one smooth move. 

The room is dark, but you hear the shift of a body on the couch before Yunho says, “Did you need me afterall?” 

“Hey,” You whisper. 

Yunho rolls over, and in the dim light you see him sit up, “Baby?” 

“It’s just me,” You confirm, flicking the lock on the door just for good measure before walking over to the couch, “Hongjoong said you were up here.” 

“Is everything alright, you okay?” He rubs a hand over his tired face before reaching out to you. 

“I’m fine,” You assure him, stepping into his gentle hold, “but scoot over, let me in here,” 

He shifts on the couch so you can slide next to him, but you can see the confusion on his face. 

“Joong said they’d cover for us to get a quick nap,” You tell him softly, “can I lie down with you?” 

He sighs, a smile stretching over his face, “Of course,” 

You both shuffle onto the couch, and it’s too narrow for his big body and yours, but you wind your legs together and make little adjustments until you’re comfortable, Yunho’s arm banding protectively around your back to keep you from rolling backwards. 

“Come here,” He murmurs as you adjust your head, cheek nestled into his bicep, “is that alright?” 

“Mhm,” You sigh, feeling the tension of the day and of the past week unspool inside you, “missed you,” 

“I missed you too,” he presses his lips to the top of your head and lets out a long, relieved breath, “so much,” 

You nod, but your eyes have already started to grow heavy. The safety of his arms, the warmth of his body on yours. Faintly you can catch threads of his scent, clean skin and something earthy, soft cedar and juniper. 

You nestle into his chest a little more, taking a deep breath and letting yourself relax, “Love you,” 

He hums softly, but you feel him relaxing right alongside you, “Love you,”

You don’t even remember falling asleep. No sooner do you hear his soft reply, an alarm is sounding above your heads and you start out of sleep, Yunho gasping sharply and pulling you closer as he bursts back into consciousness alongside you. 

“Mm,” You burrow into his chest, “that’s too loud,” 

He searches above his head for his phone, the alarm still blaring. 

“Yunho,” You groan. 

“I got it,” He says, clicking the snooze button, “sorry, sorry,” 

You sigh, “I think everyone in this building heard that,” 

He snorts a laugh softly and sighs, “I can’t sleep through it,” 

“That’s for sure,” 

He wraps you back up in his arms and tucks his head against yours. 

“Did we sleep?” You murmur. 

“Mhm,” He says, his voice rough with sleep, “almost three hours,” 

“I feel like I died,” You yawn, “oh my god,” 

He stretches his legs out, joints cracking as he adjusts. Neither one of you moved an inch during sleep, and you’re both feeling all the stiffness that comes with that now that you start to come out of it. 

“Did anyone message you? Are we good?” You prod Yunho gently. 

“Um,” He finds his phone again, wincing when the bright light hits his eyes, “fuck, um, no, we’re good,” 

“Good,” You sigh.

”I want to ditch practice and take you back to your place and just sleep for a hundred years,” He groans, winding his arms around you and rolling you artlessly on top of his chest so that he can stretch his long back and still keep you on the couch, “how much trouble do you think I’d be in?” 

You smile, pressing a kiss to his chest, “A lot,” 

“Yeah,” He yawns, “probably,”

  You hum softly, relaxing into him, “Do we have any time, or do you need to go?” 

He winces, “Five minutes, maybe?” 

You can’t hide your disappointment at that. 

“I know,�� He strokes your back, “I’m sorry, I wish schedules were less…”

  “It’s okay,” You soothe him with another kiss, “it is what it is,” 

His lips press closed, and he nods, “Yeah,” 

“Only a few more days,” You sigh. 

A few more days of schedules like this, of early mornings and late nights and commitment after commitment stacked on top of each other. 

He nods, but then he says, “We’re going to start negotiations next week,” 

“You are?” Your head pops up and you meet his gaze. 

“We have a day off after these schedules,” He says quietly, a tentative smile on his lips, “after we sure things up with the attorney, and then we just have to request the meeting.”

“That’s fast,” You admit. 

“None of us want to waste any time,” Yunho admits, “between us and the potential our contracts could be better for all of us? I think we’re all ready,” 

“When do you think,” You let your words trail off, but he picks up on your point with ease.

  “A couple of weeks, I think we’ll know,” He smiles, “just a little longer,” 

You smile, pushing up from your position to capture his lips in a kiss. 

Yunho pulls you closer, shifting you higher on his chest as he hums pleasantly against your mouth, kissing you gently, tenderly, like all good sleepy, intimate kisses should be. 

Yunho’s phone lights up with a second alarm and you jolt, breaking the kiss and sighing. 

He silences the phone much more quickly this time, “I’m sorry,” he gives you a squeeze, “I really have to go,” 

“It’s okay,” You slide off him, taking quick stock of your clothes and how mussed your hair is as he gets to his feet. 

His phone dings with a notification and he checks it, before quickly tapping out a reply.

  “All good?” You check. 

“Mhm,” Yunho yawns and tucks his phone away, “Joong says the hallways are pretty quiet.” 

“Should I go first, or you?” You ask, reaching out to smooth the collar of his shirt. 

“I’ll go,” He leans in and presses a fast kiss to your forehead, “let me double check the coast is clear,” 

“Okay,” You nod.

  He takes a deep breath and shakes out the nap, “Only a couple more weeks,” he repeats, as much for himself as it is for you, “I love you,” 

“I love you too,” You kiss him quickly, just a peck before he gets on with the rest of his work day. 

“Let me know when you get home safely, okay?” He kisses your again, his warm hands cupping you close, “Try to get some more sleep,” 

You nod, but you both know you won’t be sleeping until he’s in bed too, “Text me when you’re home later,” 

“I will,” He says, “but try to sleep, okay? You need your rest too,” 

“I promise I’ll try,” 

His phone dings again, and he exhales sharply with a little exasperation, checking his phone again, “Alright, I have to go, I love you. Be safe.” 

“Love you too,” 

He kisses you fast, and then his hands are off you and he’s out the door. 

You sink back down onto Hongjoong’s couch and collect yourself, pushing through all the post-nap brain fog now that you have a second. You wait until he messages you it’s safe to leave, and then quietly you turn off Hongjoong’s recording light and slip out unseen into the hall. 

Downstairs you gather your things and get yourself back together so you can go home, darting quickly towards the exit when you hear that you aren’t completely alone in the building. Far off voices down one of the halls by your workspace, the sound of someone else in the lower break room, you don’t wait to see who could be working late. 

Walking to the train you take a deep breath of cold air. 

Only a few more weeks. 

You can do a few more weeks. 

───────────────────────── ✧₊⁺───────────────────────

Not everyone would agree with you, but you love night schedules. As one of the staff members who has to be there before the members, you love any schedule that means you get to wake up at a normal time and not the three or four in the morning call times for morning shoots. 

A night shoot means you get the morning off. 

Last night after days and days, you finally slept, sinking into sleep alongside Yunho, even though he was across town at his own apartment. It was the best night you’ve spent without him by your side since that first night after the European tour. 

You woke up without an alarm, natural light and feeling fully sated. Today was going to be a good, good day. 

You get to the office with a brightness in your body. An afternoon coffee in hand, a cute outfit, and you took the extra time to put a soft curl in your hair just to see Yunho’s eyes light up when he sees you later today. 

He had texted you good morning and that he loved you. 

You had joked about ordering the same thing for dinner later and eating over FaceTime for a virtual date. 

Tomorrow was their meeting with the contract lawyer.

Everything was going right. 

You’re almost there.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary until it does. 

At the office, you scan your keycard to enter just like always, but you only make it halfway across the lobby before you’re intercepted by two of the largest men you’ve ever seen, dressed in simple black suits with armbands identifying them as security. 

“Miss y/n?” One of them stops you with an outstretched hand, blocking your access to any more of the lobby. 

“Yes?” Your heart speeds up. 

“Come with us, please.” The other says plainly. 

Your fingers tighten on your bag, “What’s this about?” 

“Come with us, please,” He reiterates, and you can tell the please is a polite formality. 

”Can you tell me what this,” You start to say, but you barely get a full sentence out before you’re cut off again. 

“Miss,” The first one says, “let’s not discuss this in the hall. Follow us.” 

They start walking, one in front of you and one behind, and you can sense people in the foyer starting to notice an employee being escorted by security, stopping to stare, but you keep your eyes ahead and try not to look as terrified as you feel. 

It could be nothing. 

It could be a keycard replacement or a problem with a clearance for one of the filming locations, it could be anything. 

They walk you swiftly towards the back elevators and take you up until you’re passing your normal floors and going higher, towards the offices with better views and higher salaries. 

Your stomach clenches when you get off and follow them further back to a corner office. 

“This way,” The one in front says as he opens the door to the office, and your eyes flick over the name on the door. 

Han Minchul - Attorney

Everything in your body is telling you to turn around, to get out of this hall and back to the elevators, to never step foot in this man’s office, but it’s just not an option. 

Stepping over the threshold, you come face to face with Han Minchul himself. 

“Ah!” He says, “Miss y/n,” 

You greet him, professionally and cordially, “Mr. Han,” 

“I don’t suspect you know who I am,” He gestures towards the chairs in front of his large dark wood desk, “please, have a seat,” 

Slowly you step forwards and take the seat. He’s perfectly average in every way with the exception of his nice office and even nicer suit. You clock the watch on his wrist and the decorative table in the corner with the crystal bottle of expensive scotch. 

“Well,” He says with a slight smile, folding his hands over a red file folder on his desk, “I do wish we were meeting under better circumstances,”

Your stomach drops out, “What circumstances are those?” 

His smile falls away and he taps the folder, “We have some serious and very credible information about you and one of our idols, Miss y/n.” 

It feels in a split second like your chest is collapsing in on itself. 

“Nothing to say?” He leans back from the desk and sits comfortably in his desk chair. 

“What would you like me to say?” You manage. 

“It doesn’t really matter to me,” He sighs, “and there’s no point in lying. You and Jeong Yunho have been seeing each other secretly for some time, though we were only made aware of the nature of your relationship this week.” 

“I see,” Your throat feels hoarse, your stomach rolling. 

You feel a tug inside you, a press against the bond, but you stay focused on the conversation.

”It took us a few days of digging and corroborating information, but you are both less secretive than you think you are,” He adds, “we’ll be speaking with him later today, but for now, if you’ll turn over your keycard and identification badge,” 

“You’re firing me,” 

“Very good,” He says, and then he taps on the folder again. 

Your ears are ringing, and you see his mouth moving but things feel like they’re falling apart all around you. Your heart is thundering in your chest and you feel another distinct touch of Yunho’s consciousness to yours. 

Mr. Han clears his throat and looks at you with a withering stare. 

“What did you say?” 

He purses his lips at you like you’re an annoyance, and then nods to the two stocky security officers at the doorway, “I said, we can make this simple, or we can make this difficult,” 

You swallow tightly, fear pooling in your gut. 

“Simple includes signing these two documents,” He finally folds open the folder and reveals a stack of contracts that are tabbed on multiple pages for your initials and signature, “and then you will quietly leave the premises. You will be let go without recommendation, but you will receive a lump sum of six months salary, still subject to tax of course.” 

“Y-you’re buying me off?” Your head feels like it’s spinning. 

“You’re a smart girl, y/n,” He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes, “now do I need to explain what difficult means, or do we have an agreement?” 

As if on cue, both of the security officers take a step from the door towards you. They linger behind your chair like menacing pillars, and you have no doubt they’ll drag you from these offices kicking and screaming if necessary. 

“I,” You start, fumbling over your words, “I’m sorry, but there’s been a misunderstanding,” 

“Oh?” For a split second you think he’s going to listen, but then he leans back in his chair as he shakes his head, “No, I don’t think there has,” 

Nervous knots tighten so hard in your gut you feel sick, “No, please, you have to listen to me,” 

“Does listening get you to sign these papers faster?”

”We’re soulmates,” You finally get the words out, “we would never have broken the rules if that weren’t the case, but I know you can understand that, that we’re supposed to be together, that it was out of our control,” 

The man across from you barely blinks, “Well,” he shrugs, “I’ve heard that one before,” 

“But our marks,” You insist, “if you just let us show you, you’ll see,” 

“Let me stop you there,” He shakes his head and sits forward in his chair, “because I can tell you exactly how that happened,” 

His words don’t make sense, “What?” 

“You developed a little crush,” He gestures towards you with his meaty hand, “and your crush turned into an obsession,” 

He doesn’t even need to say it, you know exactly what this story will be. You’ve feared it from the second you realized he was yours, and to see it laid out in front of you is a cold reminder that you were right from the start. 

That doesn’t stop the ringing in your ears though, and the way your heart starts to beat faster and faster like a bird in a cage, pure panic lacing through your body. Something sharp pulls in your chest, and distantly through the bond you feel Yunho’s own fear, his own sudden panic. 

Mr. Han continues, even as the blood drains from your cheeks, “No, I think you’ve broken your contract so severely you’re lucky I don’t contact the police.” 

“But,” 

“How did you do it? A peek down one of his costumes? Did you walk in on a wardrobe fitting to get a good look?” He sneers, “Or did you seduce him first and get your own tattoo later?” 

“I-I didn’t,” You feel cornered, trapped, fear pulsing through you, “I wouldn’t do that,” 

“You,” He levels you with a hard stare, his eyes flicking down to your exposed forearm, “wouldn’t get a tattoo?” 

You tug the fabric of your sweater down over your skin, “That’s not what I’m saying, I’m saying I wouldn’t get a fake soulmark, I wouldn’t deceive someone like that,” 

He has to believe you, he has to. But instead, he only shrugs, “I doubt it, but it doesn’t matter.” 

“It,” You feel lightheaded, sick, dizzy at the way the floor has all but dropped out from under you, “it has to matter,” 

“y/n,” He sighs, tapping the papers before him, “my job is to protect the company from liability, to protect our idols from things that would be catastrophic for their careers, and you, my dear, are catastrophic.” 

Panic slices through you, hot tears pricking at your eyes, “But I love him,” 

His nose crinkles slightly, disgust masked with mock pity, “I’m sure you do,”

His words, the way he looks at you, you feel small and silly. A foolish girl with a crush clinging to a fairytale, and your eyes land on the file folder of contracts, beneath them no doubt all the evidence he alluded to before, thick and likely full of a false version of your love story, crafted so that you look like nothing more than a rabid fan. You think suddenly of the girl in the airport who pushed you aside for her chance to touch Yunho’s skin, and you can see exactly the rumors they’ll spread about you if they have to.

Underneath the panic and the pulsing dizziness though, you feel Yunho. His own heartbeat seems to knock against your ribs, and distantly you know it, he’s coming for you. 

“I’ll offer you one last time,” Mr. Han says, and your eyes flick up to his, “I urge you to be smart about this. Sign the papers, take the money. I’m sure you can find somewhere that will hire you to do hair anywhere, it just won’t be alongside any other idols you can dupe.” 

This time all you feel is the popping sensation of rage, crackling through your body so quickly you can’t catch your tongue, “I’m a makeup artist.” 

“Yes, well,” 

“No,” You cut him off, leaning forwards and fisting your hands to keep them from shaking, “I’ve sat here and listened to you insult me, and insinuate that I am some kind of delusional, love-sick fan, and threaten me, I’ve worked here for five years.” 

“Congratulations.” He says dryly. 

“What is wrong with you?” You stand up, the chair pushing back behind you as it bumps into the security officers, “You haven’t even talked to Yunho, you dragged me in here like you’re a cop and I’m some sort of criminal, this is our lives!” 

”No, this is a place of business,” He shakes his head. 

You rub at your temples, a headache bubbling in your brain, “How?” 

“How is this a place of business?” He smirks. 

“No, how did,” 

“I know what you’re asking,” He interrupts and taps the stack of papers on the table, “it seems your friend thought you were behaving inappropriately in the workplace,” 

A wave of dizzy nausea passes through you and you grip the back of the chair for stability, “My friend?” 

“Your friend, one of the other makeup artists,” He repeats, “she had quite a lot to tell us.” 

“She,” You feel unmoored, “she told you?” 

“Everything we needed to know.” He confirms. 

“I,” You stumble over your words and then find the stability to straighten back up, “I don’t believe that for a second.” 

“Believe whatever you want,” He shrugs, “it won’t make a difference. It’s my job to ensure,” 

“No liability,” You roll your eyes, anger bubbling hot inside you, “and a steady paycheck for you while KQ’s biggest group stays nice and profitable, and a soulmate for one of their idols would really cause a scandal, wouldn’t it?” 

His jaw tightens, muscles tensing in his jaw before he recovers and nods again to security, “The difficult way then,” 

One of the security guards steps smoothly to your side, his large hands closing over your upper arms tightly and he tugs you back. 

The ringing in your ears gets louder, but you taste bitter adrenaline on your tongue and feel the bond inside you thrumming, you feel him closer. 

The other security officer grabs your bag from the floor though, and it pulls your attention, “What are you doing?” 

He ignores you, swiftly finding your phone and passing it over to Mr. Han who stays comfortably behind the desk. 

“Let me go, give that back!” You jerk an arm, trying to push free, but it only makes the man holding you still grip harder, pressing angry bruises into your skin.

 “Liability, remember?” He says as he flicks through your phone, “once this is cleaned up, you’ll be escorted out. Your access badge will no longer swipe into the building, and staff will be made aware that you are no longer welcome on the premises.” 

“Fuck you,” You wriggle a little harder, only to get yanked back into the chest of the security officer. 

“Very nice,” Mr. Han comments dryly, “very professional,” 

You want to scoff, to tell them there’s nothing professional about anything that’s happened since you sat down in this room, but you hear fast footsteps in the hall, a distant shout.

The men in the room look up, towards the door, and you take the moment to your advantage. You twist sharply in the security officer’s arms and duck to the side, breaking his hold while he’s momentarily distracted and rushing to the opposite end of the room by the door.

 He takes two steps towards you, but the door bursts open between you. 

Yunho pushes over the threshold with a kind of reckless purpose, his eyes focused and searching, cheeks flushed from running and chest heaving, Mingi and Hongjoong hot on his heels. 

He finds you in a second, and without a single thought to the room around him he rushes towards you, “You’re alright? You’re alright?” 

His hands cup your cheeks, thumbs smoothing over your cheekbone, and you shake your head, “They want me to go,” 

His brow furrows, and it takes him a moment to register your words. He felt fear and panic and dread so distinctly in your body that he didn’t know what he would find behind this office door. All he knew is that you were terrified and he was running, straight out of the recording studio with Hongjoong and Mingi stumbling behind him. But you’re here, alive and unharmed, and it takes a moment for the blood rushing in his ears to calm, to understand what you meant, but when he turns his head towards the room, he finally takes in everything in front of him. 

The paperwork, your phone on the desk, the attorney, the guards, it all threads together. 

You reach up and gently take his wrists, drawing his hands down from your cheeks so you can both face the room, and you thread your fingers tightly together with Yunho’s.

”What’s going on here?” Yunho asks. 

“They know,” You explain, “I’ve been asked to leave,” 

Mr Han sighs, finally standing, “I was trying to handle this situation professionally, I don’t know what you think calling them is going to change,” 

“I didn’t call them,” You shake your head incredulously, “you have my phone, you can see that,”

 He pauses, a brief flicker, but then shakes his head, “Regardless.” You watch him push together the contracts, gathering them to tuck them neatly away and your hand tightens on Yunho’s.

Hongjoong steps swiftly forwards, snatching the papers and bringing them back a few steps, “What are these?” 

“Contracts,” He replies, and for the first time this whole meeting you can hear a little tension in his tone, “standard for employment termination.” 

“Employment termination,” Yunho shakes his head, “that’s insane.” 

“You can’t break the rules like this an expect there to be no ramifications,” 

“Fire me then,” Yunho’s eyes narrow. 

“Yunho, be serious,” Mr. Han says. 

You feel a flash of Yunho’s anger in his chest, but then Hongjoong interrupts, his head shaking as he flips through the papers.

 “These are unethical,” He glances up at you both before continuing to flick through, and Mingi leans over his shoulder to read more.

 Yunho turns his head towards the two of them as Mingi reads aloud, “I, y/n, hereby acknowledge and agree to the terms of termination and the accompanying settlement as outlined above. Terms including, but not limited to, defrauding a member of the idol group ATEEZ, defrauding other KQ Entertainment employees in an attempt to establish co-conspirators, and intention to defame and devalue the aforementioned member’s career using these lies through public channels such as social media and the press. I understand and accept that by signing this letter, I am waiving all claims against KQ Entertainment, agreeing to the terms set forth in this agreement, and accepting the settlement outlined above.”

Read aloud, it’s even worse. 

“This is a lie,” Hongjoong flips through the papers again, “all of it,” 

“Defrauding me? Defaming me?” Yunho’s voice is low and steady, but you can see the look of betrayal on his face, you can feel the hurt, “You seriously wanted her to sign this? This bullshit?” 

“Yunho,” You warn him gently.

”No,” He shakes his head and drops your hand, pulling the papers from Hongjoong, “this is ridiculous,” 

“This is how it works,” Mr. Han replies, “this is is how we insulate you, and minimize liability,” 

“Liability!” Yunho’s voice is sharp, “This is a mile from the truth,” 

“It’s a smear campaign,” Mingi interrupts, calmly as he steps to Yunho’s side, “you get her to sign this and if the story about the two of them got out, you have it on record that she’s a liar and a manipulator.” 

The attorney’s jaw tightens.

Hongjoong snatches back the papers and shuffles through them until he finds a subsection, “By means of seduction and false representation…. fabrication of a soulmark.” 

Heat burns your cheeks even though the words aren’t true, and you swallow tightly to bury any threat of tears. 

“What the fuck?” Yunho manages, pulling the papers closer. 

“We don’t do this,” Hongjoong’s face is pinched in disgust, “we’re better than this. You make her sound like… you make her out to be some,” 

“Gold digging whore?” You offer, a sick laugh in your throat at the absurdity of it all. 

Yunho bristles, tossing the papers onto the desk and shaking his head, “She’s not signing this,” he says, “and she’s not fired, if you had just asked me instead of assuming I could have just told you that it’s true. We’re soulmarked, we found out while we were on tour. It wasn’t expected, but we’re happy. If you had just asked me, instead of treating her this way, we have nothing to hide.” 

“But you’ve been hiding,” He counters.

 “We were waiting for the right time,” 

“And let me guess, that was her idea?” He nods towards you. 

Yunho leans forwards, “Speak about her like that again and this conversation won’t be so professional.”  

Hongjoong closes a hand around Yunho’s forearm in warning. 

Mr. Han sighs and rubs his eyes, “Yunho,” his voice softens up and you brace yourself, “you need to think about your career, your livelihood. No one wants an unavailable idol, they want the fantasy.” 

“We’re not objects,” Hongjoong bristles, “we’re not dolls for you to dress up as you please and play boyfriend,” 

“Aren’t you?” 

“Fuck you,” Mingi curses.

”Be serious,” He continues, “I know you like the girl, this is certainly not the first time someone’s broken a dating ban and it won’t be the last, but it always ends the same. I am telling you, no girl is worth your career.” 

“She’s not some girl,” Yunho says sharply, taking a step back to you and finding your hand again, “she’s my soulmate, and I would have thought that would be different,” 

The beat of silence stretches into two

”He doesn’t believe us,” You murmur, “he thinks I saw your tattoo and copied it, that I tricked you,” 

“We’re bonded,” Yunho counters, “you can’t fake that,” 

Mr. Han sighs again, “I’ve seen it more than once,” 

You can’t help the flurry of rage that bubbles in your gut, and your hands fly to the buttons of your blouse. All eyes fly to you as your shirt starts to open, and Yunho reaches for your hands, “Stop, baby, stop, you don’t need to do this,”

You push his hands away, your shirt parting open, “You think I faked this?” You tug down the band of your bralette, “You think I’m lovesick and crazy, and would trick him like that? My tattoo is red, so is his, both of them used to be black. I have pictures of mine to prove that, and I’m sure your files have pictures of his.” 

You let the band of your bralette slip back into place, covering the mark, “But that’s not what this is about at all, is it? It doesn’t matter if it’s true. All that matters is me disappearing, and the money flowing.” 

His lips close into a tight line.

”Would you have convinced him it was a lie? After I was dragged out of this building by your goons, would you have told him all the stories of other idols who have been fooled?” You take a step towards the desk and press your nails into your palms to keep steady, “How many real bonds have you broken? And for what? A nice house? A nice suit? You’re disgusting,” 

His jaw tenses again, “We’re done here,” he says, flicking a hand to security, “get her out of here.” 

They step forward on command, but Yunho takes a swift step between you, putting his body between you and the room, “Don’t touch her.” 

“It’s over,” Han Minchul says, exasperated, “she’s fired. You can be angry with me all you like, but the decision is final.” 

“Then I quit,” Yunho drops the sentence like a bomb. 

Mingi and Hongjoong snap up to look at him, and you press forwards to touch his back, “Yunho, don’t, don’t do that.” 

“She’s right,” He nods, “you and this company have had a positive working relationship for years, don’t throw it away for a woman.” 

“You son of a,” Yunho darts forwards, but Mingi is faster, locking his arms around his best friend and dragging him back.

 You suck in a sharp breath of air and shake your head, tears threatening. It’s all coming down, just like you knew it would. When you look up, the attorney looks almost pleased. He holds your gaze as Mingi and Hongjoong get Yunho under control, a final challenge, and even though it kills you, you nod. 

With your stomach in knots, you touch Yunho’s arm and bring him back to you, Mingi's hold breaking, “Yunho, it’s done, it’s over.” 

“What?” He swivels to you, surprise across his face “y/n, we can’t,” 

“Not us,” You assure him, pulling him closer, “never us, but this is over. Even if we could work it out, I wouldn’t want to stay where I’m clearly unwanted and we’re being watched.” 

He studies your face, a tense crease in his brow, “But,”

”Let me go,” You squeeze his hand. 

“This isn’t fair,” He breathes, cupping your cheek, “it wasn’t supposed to happen like this, we had a plan,” 

“But we always knew it could,” You remind him softly. 

Hongjoong steps close, keeping his voice low, “We’ll find a way to take care of this, but y/n is right. There’s nothing we can do here,” 

“So you’ll go?” The lawyer pipes in, “Because as much as I appreciate this tender moment, I have a one o’clock,”

Yunho’s jaw sets hard.

”I’ll go,” You say from behind him, “just give me a moment,” 

You go to move, but Hongjoong clears his throat softly, “Your blouse,” 

Your cheeks flush, and you step back to Yunho who straightens up and tucks you closer to his chest while you hastily do up the buttons of your shirt.

You want to cry, to scream, to throw something and run away into the sunset with the man you know is yours, a truth so deep it’s in your marrow, but you can’t. 

Yunho drops a kiss to your hair, checking to be sure your blouse is closed before he turns back to the room, “She goes, but she’s not signing those papers.” 

“That deal is off the table,” The attorney says, “but our official position will be a downsizing of the department. You’ll be let go without severance, and without reference, but we will not interfere with your future job prospects negatively. Security will see you out of the building.” 

Yunho doesn’t move, he keeps you tucked behind him and you can feel the tension rolling off him in waves even without the bond. 

Hongjoong nods towards the desk, “Her phone?” 

“Ah, yes,” He stretches out a hand with it towards you, but Yunho intercepts before passing it back. 

One glance tells you all you need to know - Yunho’s contact is gone, your chat history is gone, and when you click on your photo library you see that every photo is missing. 

You make a soft, involuntary sound, “Our photos,” 

“I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that you are still bound by your original Non-Disclosure Agreement as an employee,” Mr Han says, “if anything is published online or otherwise about your relationship, you will be in breach of that contract and we will be forced to bring forward a suit. I trust you’re smart enough not to do that, but you’ll have to forgive me for taking additional precautions.” 

“Liability,” You breathe. 

“Exactly,” He nods. 

Yunho spins back to you, kissing your forehead and gathering you close, “It’s going to be okay, I promise.” 

“I know,” You murmur, “I know,” 

“I’ll fix this,” He presses, “it’s just a job, we’re still us.” 

Mr. Han makes a non-committal sound, “In case you’re planning on maintaining whatever relationship and contact you have, Yunho, I will remind you that your employment contract still maintains a romantic entanglement clause.”

Your stomach drops out, and Yunho turns. 

“You can consider this a formal warning,” He continues, “but if you break your contact again, you will be terminated, and that includes paying back a considerable amount of debt.” 

“This is insane,” Mingi manages.

”This is business, standard business.” 

Yunho finds your hand, pressing your palms together. Slowly, he exhales and looks up, “Understood.” 

Your heart aches in your chest. You wonder if he can feel it too. 

“Those contracts expire in a little over a year,” Yunho says, “I can tell you now that I will not be renegotiating.” 

Your heart starts to pound. 

“Is that supposed to be a threat?” Mr Han says, “groups lose one or two members after rookie contracts all the time, that’s not a concern to the company, that’s a probability.” 

“And if you lose eight?” Hongjoong says sharply, “Because I won’t renegotiate if this is the new climate at KQ, and I know the rest of the members will be right behind us.” 

“Yep,” Mingi nods, “Count me out.” 

Yunho’s stunned silent, so are you.

 “You’ve treated us terribly,” Hongjoong says, “but what you’ve done to y/n might actually constitute harassment, and I intend to find out.” 

“You’ll never,” 

“We understand the terms of our contract well,” Hongjoong interrupts, “and you will not catch us breaking those terms, but let me know how the CEO feels about their debut group walking away with grievances after that contract expires. Do you think that will be good for business? I know exactly how much profit we generate for this company, and if you think all we’ve done for six years is sing and smile on command, you’d be sorely mistaken.” 

Mr. Han takes that in, eyes flicking over the room, “This meeting is over.”

”Meeting,” Mingi scoffs.

”Miss y/n,” Mr. Han clears his throat and addresses you, “your final check will be mailed to you.” 

You have nothing to say, so you nod. 

“Security will escort you out,” He reiterates. 

Both of the security officers step forwards, looking at Yunho squarely, almost a challenge to see if he’ll let you go.

Panic lances through you at the thought of not seeing him again. 

Yunho turns, tugging you close. With his lips at your ear he murmurs something just for you, “I love you,” he promises, “I’ll come, I promise,” 

Tears track down your cheeks and you nod, “I love you,” 

“It’s you first,” He squeezes your hand, “I promise, y/n, I swear,” 

Your breath hitches, “I know,” 

“Yunho,” Mr. Han says firmly, “that’s enough.” 

Taking a step back from Yunho, the tears come faster but you scrub them away quickly with the sleeve of your shirt. The security officers nod and you step closer to them. 

One of them secures a hand to your elbow and Yunho takes a step forwards, “Take your hands off her,” he says

You pull your arm away from the unwelcome touch, “I know the way out,” 

“Yunho,” Mr. Han interjects, “stay. We have things to discuss, everyone else can go.” 

“Let me walk her out,” Yunho steps towards you. 

“No,” Mr. Han grows serious and gestures to the chairs, “sit. I’m done entertaining this,” 

Yunho’s name is trapped in your throat and you press your nails into your palms. 

“Miss,” One of the security officers nods towards the door. 

Yunho’s looks to you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears and his lips parted, there’s more to say but he can’t. 

“I’ll walk her out, I got her,” Mingi interjects, locking eyes with his best friend. 

Yunho nods, words still trapped in his throat. 

“Mr. Song,” The attorney says, “don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

Mingi clenches his jaw, muscle jumping and he shakes his head, “Just the lobby, what a coincidence,” 

Mr. Han looks briefly irritated, but looks to security. 

They don’t touch you, but they do guide you with their hands outstretched, and it’s clear this is fully over. You stumble out, eyes still glued to Yunho, but Mingi swiftly steps to your side and falls into step with you.

 “y/n,” Yunho manages, a stricken look across his face. 

“Do not make a scene,” You hear as you leave the room. 

Yunho lays a hand across his chest, a firm press to his soulmark that echoes in your chest and hot tears rush to your eyes. Security pushes you down the hall with their unrelenting pace though, and you’re forced to face front. 

Behind you, you hear the door shut but not before Hongjoong’s sharp voice gives you all the comfort in the world, “No, I think I’ll stay.” You’re deeply, deeply grateful Yunho won’t be in that meeting alone. 

“Mingi,” You manage as you all file into the elevator.

”It’s going to be okay,” He assures you softly, “keep your head up. We’ve got him, you know we do.”

You nod, swiping away the emotion from your eyes. 

“How did they know?” He asks quietly as the elevator descends.

”He said Iseul,” You can barely say it without the idea turning your stomach, “but she wouldn’t have done that.” 

“Are you sure?” His eyes track the floors as you descend. 

“I’m sure,” 

There’s a ding as you hit the lobby, and you breathe through the anxiety of knowing your coworkers are about to watch you be escorted out of the KQ offices. 

“Miss,” Security gestures forwards and you step out. 

“You got this,” Mingi says softly.

 The walk to the doors is a blur, surreal and strange. Five years of your life, gone in a second. 

You barely remember the walk home. 

Curled up on the couch you wait for something, anything. A phone call, a text, a single message from anyone but you get nothing. 

He doesn’t call. 

He doesn’t text.

He doesn’t come for you. 

The bond is strangely quiet, and it feels like your world is shattering around you. 

In the morning you call the one person you know will be there, sobs wracking your chest the moment the moment your sister picks up the phone. She doesn’t need to know a thing before she’s in the car and driving to Seoul.

You want to go back, you’d keep hiding if it meant you could have even a little of him, but this. 

You can’t stay here, choked by the ghost of him everywhere you look.  

For a little while, life really was beautiful.

[winterscaptain]

burn.

Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader a joyful future fic

a/n: welcome back to our regularly scheduled programming after several delays--I've decided to post this before the sideblog is ready because you've all been so patient!

words: 1.7k content advisories: PINING. so much pining its painful

summary: "you forget what you want to remember, and you remember what you want to forget." —cormac mccarthy. december 24th–26th, 2010

ajf masterlist (under construction) | sideblog under construction | what do you want to see next?

The party ends like all the best ones do—slowly, reluctantly, and with too many hugs at the door.

Penelope’s glitter trail fades down the hallway. Emily’s SUV engine kicks over just as Dave mutters something about Italian wine being better than Italian judgment.

You’re still holding your mug.

You should’ve left twenty minutes ago. Spencer caught your eye on the way out and gave you a look—not teasing, just curious. Like he wasn’t sure why you hadn’t moved yet.

The apartment is warm in the way lived-in spaces get after too many bodies and too much sugar. The tree glows soft and quiet. A few stray snowflake crafts litter the coffee table, evidence of Jack’s brief cameo before Jess picked him up for a Brooks-side thing.

You and Aaron are alone now.

He’s in the kitchen, rinsing the same glass twice. You’re in the doorway, trying not to overthink the fact that you’re still here.

“Thanks for hosting,” you say, just because it’s something to say.

He nods. “Sure.”

“Everyone seemed happy,” you offer, like it matters.

Aaron hums. Noncommittal.

He doesn’t have to tell you this is his second Christmas without Haley.

He doesn’t have to tell you the first one didn’t feel real. That last year, he didn’t decorate. Didn’t cook. Didn’t breathe, really. He spent the morning letting Jack unwrap presents and the evening staring at the bottom of a glass.

He didn’t feel the weight of it until this year.

Until the tree was up again. Until Jack drew a family picture and only drew two people. Until he realized how deeply silence cuts when you’ve survived chaos. Until he realized he didn’t know where Haley ordered the Christmas cards. 

You shift your weight on the kitchen tile.

Aaron folds the towel with unnecessary precision. His hands are steady, but his pulse is loud in his ears.

“You’re not staying over tonight?” It comes out sharper than he means. Less invitation, more... alarm.

You blink. “Should I?” Your voice is soft, teasing, maybe. He can’t tell.

His gaze dips to your mouth before he can stop it.

Don’t.

His eyes flick back up to yours. “I just thought maybe you had somewhere else to be.”

“Tomorrow, maybe,” you say. He gets the acute sense you’re hedging your bets. “Not tonight.”

He nods.

You step away first. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

Aaron doesn’t stop you. Not right away. But then—

“Stay.”

You stop. Half-turned. He sees your shoulders lift, slow and uncertain.

“You don’t have to,” he adds quickly. “I just—don’t want you to go if you don’t want to.”

Your mouth tips up at the corner. Not quite a smile. Not quite relief.

“Okay.”

+++

He doesn’t breathe until you sit beside him on the couch.

The movie is some forgettable holiday comedy. You’re not watching it.

The lights are off.

Except for the tree.

Tiny bulbs blink lazily across the living room—reds, golds, soft white stars casting a sleepy glow over everything. They reflect off the glass ornaments, scattering glimmers of color onto the ceiling, the walls, the blanket pooled over both of your legs. The room smells like pine, like clove-studded oranges, like a home that’s been lived in, like the candle burning on the coffee table.

Neither one of you has spoken in a while.

Your head is on his shoulder, your legs tucked under the afghan, one of his hands resting over your shin—absentminded, not possessive. Just there. His thumb moves in soft, unconscious circles. You can feel the way his breathing changes with yours, how still he goes every time you shift. You could swear he’s holding himself together with duct tape and hope.

And you’re not doing much better.

“I used to think,” you start, your voice barely more than a breath, “that Christmas would always feel like it did when I was little.”

Aaron’s head tilts, not enough to look at you. Just to show he’s listening.

“Not the presents. Not even the family part. Just that feeling—like the world was softer. Like it could pause for a second.” You smile a little. “Now it just feels like we’re holding our breath.”

A beat.

“Maybe we are,” he says. 

You glance up. The tree lights catch his profile. His eyes are on the window, not the TV, but you don’t think he’s looking at anything out there.

The light catches the scar on his nose, the one Foyet gave him. There’s another, fainter one under his chin—childhood bike accident, if you remember correctly.

You should say something. Ask if he’s okay. Ask what he meant. You look away. 

Instead, you reach down and tug the blanket tighter over both your legs. His hand settles back over your shin like it never left.

He’s so warm. Stupidly warm. His shoulder is firm beneath your cheek, and his sweatshirt smells like him. You want to tuck yourself closer. You want to crawl inside the space between his ribs and stay there until January.

You don’t look at him on purpose, but you do. He’s already looking at you.

The breath catches in your throat. His eyes are soft. Quiet. But they’re searching.

You shift.

You hear the subtle change in his breathing. Feel the way his whole body goes still.

It’s comforting.

It’s also unbearable.

You see his pulse thrum at his throat. Quick. Hard.

You’re a profiler. You know what adrenaline looks like.

Aaron can feel your breath against his neck. The scent of your shampoo. The weight of your body leaning into his like you were made to fit there.

There’s a fraction of a second where you’re both leaning in. You don’t know who starts it. You’ll never know. But you do know what stops it.

Fear.

Not the kind you’re trained for. Not knives-in-the-dark fear. Not even heartbreak.

This is worse.

This is the fear of breaking what you already have. The fear of crossing into something so big you can’t get it back. The fear that one kiss could end it all, or change it so irrevocably that nothing is safe anymore. That there’s no room to pretend it’s platonic. No way to wake up tomorrow and call it anything less than what it is.

Your lips part.

So do his.

You both lean in. Barely.

And then—

You duck.

Not far. Just enough to hide in his chest.

His breath halts. But his arm comes around you without hesitation. He tucks you close, chin on your head. Protective. Resigned. Maybe relieved. 

You don’t speak.

Fuck. 

+++

You wake up to the smell of cinnamon and the distant sound of clinking kitchenware.

When you get up, you splash water on your face and brush your teeth in Jack’s bathroom—your toothbrush has its own cup now (you try not to think too hard about that). There’s a cup of coffee waiting for you on the counter—already poured, just the way you like it, and still hot.

Aaron doesn’t say a word when you walk in.

Jack’s back from Roy and Kathleen’s , tearing into a new Lego set on the living room floor.

You sit beside him, bare feet on the carpet. Aaron takes the armchair. Not the couch. Not beside you.

Jack talks enough for all three of you.

You laugh once at something he says—short, bright. Aaron looks up at the sound. You meet his eyes. For a fraction of a second, it cracks something open.

He looks away first. You get the acute sense that he’s not purposefully icing you out.

He’s just protecting himself. 

His self-preservation instincts have always been better than yours. 

The day goes on. Wrapping paper piles up. Coffee cools. Aaron reads the instructions while Jack builds.

You fold the blanket before you leave. Smooth it. Set it on the back of the couch like it wasn’t the scene of a slow-motion undoing.

Aaron watches you do it.

You both pretend it’s just a blanket.

+++

On Boxing Day (a holiday Penelope insists on honoring despite its unpatriotic British origins) Dave’s house smells like rosemary and caramelized onions and something else vaguely Italian that Dave refuses to name until dinner is served. 

Spencer sits cross-legged on the floor helping his godson with a puzzle. Henry’s doing his best and to Spencer’s credit, he narrates his every move (for language development, of course). 

Penelope is making spiked hot chocolate for everyone but insists it’s ‘medicinal’, and Emily is on her third glass of wine and definitely snooping through Dave’s record collection, crouched by the cabinet. JJ loosely supervises, watching Spencer and Henry on the floor with a soft look on her face. Will’s on duty today. You all promised to set aside a plate for him. 

You’re sitting on the edge of the couch, laughing at something Derek said but not really hearing it. Jack is curled into your side, showing you the Lego starship he and Aaron finished that morning.

It’s loud. Warm. Safe.

It’s the perfect place to hide.

Aaron hasn’t spoken to you since he handed you coffee yesterday morning.

He hasn’t not spoken to you either.

Which is worse.

You’re good at playing normal. You’ve had years of practice. But every time you move, your senses stretch for him. And every time you look over—he’s already watching you.

Never long enough to call it staring. Always just a second too short to make you sure.

Jack shifts in your lap. You adjust him automatically, arms tightening around his middle. He’s warm. His hair smells like cinnamon. When he looks up at you, he’s grinning.

“Wanna see the secret compartment?”

You smile back, genuine. “Obviously.”

Aaron’s watching.

You know he is.

You don’t look at him.

Later, when the kids have bundled up and play outside in the yard, you’re still sitting on the couch, doing your best to slouch and relax without thinking too much about it.

You feel him before you hear him.

He sits beside you, not quite close enough to touch.

Neither one of you says anything.

You think, for a second, he might speak. That he might say thank you for staying. Or I didn’t mean to— or I wanted to—

But he doesn’t.

He just exhales.

So do you.

The front door creaks open. The kids come back in, tracking snow and laughter. Noise floods the room.

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Yandere diaries. || Toby x reader. A new (possible) series I got the idea to do of the creeps doing diaries showing them gradually becoming yandere.

3k words. CW: Yandere, adult content (mentions of arousal and references to masturbation), descriptions of violence and gore, unhealthy relationships, severe abuse, delusions, Toby slipping into insanity and also being an unhonest/unreliable narrator with how awful he’s being.

4/26/22 -

I met someone new today! We bumped into each other at a park I like to go to on Earth. They were so kind to me. We ended up getting ice cream together and exchanging numbers. I hope I can see them again soon.

5/11/22 -

I’ve been able to see them a couple more times. We’ve been messaging regularly, and have also called a couple of times. I’ve never felt so connected to someone so quickly before. We have a lot in common, and they don’t even mind any of my tics or odd quirks. We have a plan to meet up this weekend and go to the movies together, I’m really looking forward to it. I hope we continue to be friends with each other for a long time!

5/14/22 -

I just got home. We had such a fun time at the movies! We saw one of the more recent horror films together. They got scared partway through and clung onto me to feel better, and it made me feel really happy and protective over them. I wouldn’t mind seeing more horror movies with them in the future if it means that they’d do that again. We haven’t known each other very long, but I feel so connected and interested in them, I feel sparks every time they touch me. Is this what falling in love feels like?

6/21/22 -

I haven’t been able to see them for a few weeks because of our schedule differences. I feel like I’ve been excessively sad because of that. I just feel like my life is so much dimmer without them. I wanna go to the park with them again, eat ice cream, and curl up under a tree with them. I wish I could be with them every day.

7/29/22 -

We haven’t known each other for a very long time, but I’m certain they’re the person I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life. They make me the happiest I’ve ever felt, they understand me like nobody has ever understood me before, I just feel so carefree and excited in their presence. I think they might feel the same way about me too. I need to try my best to build up some courage and ask them to be my partner before someone else can.

8/11/22 -

I asked them on a date and they said yes!! I’ve never felt more excited than I am right now!! We’re going on our first date in a few days. I need to make sure I have a nice outfit to wear because I want to take them somewhere nice to eat, and then we’re gonna go for a walk together and stargaze. My life truly feels so complete and wonderful right now, I feel like I’m finally on a path to keep getting better with them in my life!

11/24/22 -

I haven’t been dating them very long, but I convinced Slender to allow me to invite them to Thanksgiving dinner. Normally we have to date our partners for a year, but I just know our relationship is going to work out, so I don’t feel the need to wait that long. They had so much fun meeting everyone, and they were happy the whole time. I felt a bit jealous that they didn’t pay as much attention to me, but that’s okay because there were so many new people they had to meet. I’m sure next time I invite them over they won’t pay anyone else any attention. I’m looking forward to having them over here more often!

12/14/22 -

I got into an argument with Jeff today. I had them over to visit me, and I stepped away for a minute to get us some snacks and Jeff so rudely decided to try and steal their attention from me. It isn’t fair! He was trying to make them laugh and hang out with him instead of me!! I got really angry and I started yelling at him, and he yelled back at me, claiming he wasn’t doing anything wrong. He’s not allowed to just walk up to them and act like they’re buddy-buddy. They’re my partner, and they’re here for me. Nobody else has the right to their attention but me.

12/25/22 -

I got to celebrate my first Christmas with them today. We spent a little bit of time downstairs with the others, but then I wanted to bring them upstairs to my room so we could be together alone. I gave them a bracelet with our names on it so that everyone would know they belonged to someone, and they seemed to like it. However, I got a bit upset at them. They said they had to go home so they could celebrate with their friends and family too, but aren’t I good enough? Aren’t I their family now? It doesn’t make any sense to me why they couldn’t just stay at the mansion, but I let them go. I’ll have a talk with them about this later.

1/24/23 -

We had another argument again. They have this friend that keeps overstepping his boundaries and I don’t appreciate it. He’s been hogging their attention recently and hanging out with them more and it’s seriously fucking pissing me off. They wouldn’t stop talking to him so I had to lie to them about him to finally get them to back off from him a bit. I wouldn’t normally want to do that, but it’s for their own good. Nobody should be hogging them away from me that much. Their friends are lucky I even allow them to talk with my dove at all. I think that’s what I’ll start calling them, now that I think about it. My sweet, soaring Dove.

2/17/23 -

I ended up getting into a fight with one of Dove’s friends. I was trying to make sure I could spend Valentine’s with Dove, but this friend wanted to be able to see them that day since he’s going on a trip soon or some other stupid excuse. It pissed me off. IM their boyfriend, that day is for US. I confronted him to get him to back off but he had the nerve to stand his ground. I had to beat the shit out of him to get him to understand his place. It’s been three days, and apparently, he hasn’t contacted them since. Good. One less pest I have to worry about. Dove was a little suspicious when I came home with torn-up knuckles that day, but I just told them it happened during training and they believed me. They even took the time and care to bandage me up. They really are so special to me. Nobody else can have them.

3/18/23 -

I’ve never really thought much about blood before. When it’s on myself or my victims, I’ve never really cared about it, I’ve actually usually thought it was gross, but it was different today. Dove got this gash when we were out on a hike from tripping and slicing their arm on a sharp rock. Normally the blood wouldn’t have bothered me, but it was just so pretty. The red spreading across their skin was just so alluring. Of course, I got them cleaned off and patched up as soon as I could, but my heart is racing just remembering it. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I hope they get cut again soon. I have to confirm if this feeling inside me is real or just a one-off.

3/28/23 -

It wasn’t a one-off. We were cooking, and they were using one of our sharper knives. My curiosity got the better of me, and I “accidentally” bumped into them from behind. They ended up cutting themself, and their blood was just as alluring today, flowing freely out of their finger. I ended up putting their finger in my mouth to suck the blood off, and I’ve never tasted something so intoxicating before. They were a bit confused, but I just played it off and they let it go. Holy shit. I feel like I have to taste it again. I have to. The red on their skin, the metallic lingering taste in my mouth. It’s so addicting. It honestly made me a bit excited, I had to take a moment to myself so they wouldn’t notice.

4/16/23 -

I bit them. We were making out, and I just felt myself getting so worked up. I pinned them down on my mattress, and I started kissing down Dove’s neck. I couldn’t help it, my heart was beating so fast and I felt myself getting dizzy, and I bit them really hard. Their skin was so soft in my mouth, and blood started oozing out, running against my teeth and my tongue, and my lips, it was so warm and exciting, it felt like I was getting drunk. Dove didn’t like it though. They screamed and cried and begged me to stop, and I didn’t want to, but I did. I bandaged them up and apologized and feigned innocence. They said they wanted to go home early, so I took them to not get on their bad side anymore. I was so worked up though. I had to take care of myself when I got home, I was just so turned on. I have to do it again somehow. They won’t like it, but I have to. Nothing has ever felt so pleasing before.

4/29/23 -

I tried to bite them again, and they realized it wasn’t an accident this time. They yelled at me and hit me to get me off of them, and I hit them back much harder. They looked so broken and upset while they cried, but their tears and screams got me just as turned on as their blood did. The bruise that formed on their cheek was so beautiful. I held them close and apologized a whole bunch because I don’t want them to hate me. I cried a lot and I meant it. I promised I wouldn’t do it again, which I guess I didn’t mean. However, they can’t just disobey me like that. I need to try and be on my best behavior so they can be more relaxed around me. I can’t have them fighting back every time I want to do something to them.

5/09/23 -

I think my Dove needs to be caged. They’ve gotten so used to flying free that they need to be grounded and brought back to reality. I keep trying to limit their interactions with others because they keep poisoning my Dove against me, and Dove tried to fight me today. We got in a big yelling match, but I was able to calm myself down in the nick of time so that I didn’t make things worse. I got them to calm down, and we’re gonna have some space between us for a few weeks. I think I’m going to take this opportunity to my advantage.

5/30/23 -

While we haven’t been spending time together, I’ve been working hard. I found an old house in the Underworld for cheap, and I’ve been rebuilding it and fixing it up. I altered it to be able to hold Dove in without their escape, and I’m so excited about it. I’ve got a bedroom I’m setting up for them, and a nice kitchen because they’ve always liked cooking with me. I know Dove is going to love it so much when I bring them here in a few weeks. It’s going to be the best thing for us. Dove is too innocent about the world around them, and I have to be able to protect them. Nobody else can do a better job than I can.

6/08/23 -

[Parts of the entry have been torn. Words are smudged or crossed out and it is not completely legible, but some of it remains visible. *Full translation will be added at the end for those that use translators/text to speech.]

I CAN'T FU—— BELI— TH—!! DOVE WAS TRY— TO MOVE!! THEY W— TRYING TO LE—E ME!! THAT STU— BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TA— THEM F—M ME! WHEN ALL IVE ———— IS PROTECT TH— AND THIS IS —— REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BE— SO ANGRY!!!

Dove is FUCKING LU—Y I had the home re—y! If not, I wo—d’ve just thrown th— in the fucki— basement!!! [Redacted] got wh— they deser—. I be— the- so bad you —— —king recognize —. I’ll du— the bo— som—ere else.

7/06/23 -

Dove hasn’t been making things any easier. Since they last tried to move away things have been such a fucking pain in the ass. They were so scared when I locked them in here. I wanted it to be a warm welcome, where I’d bring them here voluntarily, but they had to go and ruin it because of [Redacted] sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong. They tried to run away a few days ago, and I went to write about it but I was so fucking pissed I ripped the page to shreds. I had to break their ankles so that they wouldn’t be able to run again, least not for a long while. I’ve also been keeping them tied up more, but it’s easier now that they can’t walk. The bruises on their legs are just so beautiful. I think I might keep them like this, even though they cry every day from the pain and the circumstances, but their tears are beautiful as well. I have to get more painkillers soon for them.

10/18/23 -

It’s been a while since I’ve updated. Things have been going smoother lately. Every time Dove’s ankles start to heal, I’ve been breaking them again. I just can’t trust them because they tried to escape again. I’ve been enjoying myself a lot more. I can bite them and cut them and hit them whenever I want to. I can taste their blood and chew their skin and bruise their beautiful body however I like. Of course, sometimes it makes me sad when Dove gets so upset about it. I don’t know what to do. It gets me so turned on and riled up like nothing ever has before, but I also want them to love me. They haven’t been fighting back anymore, so I think they’re getting used to it. We’ll see.

12/25/23 -

It’s our second Christmas together. I got Dove a bunch of things they asked for since they’ve been so good. They seem to have given up hope of resisting me, and it’s made me so happy. They even made me a cake for Christmas, and it was so delicious. I’m so happy we can be together again like this, just a happy couple with no interruptions. It’s truly the best gift I could have received this year.

2/16/24 -

I’ve been letting Dove’s ankles and legs fully heal. They truly haven’t been trying anything, and they’ve been so devoted to being a good partner for me, I don’t think I need to break them anymore to teach them a lesson. They can nearly stand on their own now, and they seem so happy. They said it’s because they can hug me while standing, and that made me so happy to hear. We’ve started cooking together again. We’re becoming a happy family, and I’m so glad I was right that Dove is the one for me. They even let me bite them as much as I wanted today, and they let me scratch them too, they didn’t even cry out today. I could tell they were trying really hard, so it made me very happy.

4/25/24 -

Things have still been going well. Their legs have healed up perfectly. It’s been five months since I last broke them, and I think they’re so grateful for it. They don’t disobey me, they do everything I ask, they’re so affectionate and loving with me. It makes me so happy to know that they’re truly settling into life with me. I don’t think they mind how much I hurt them anymore. They don’t complain as much, but they still cry those same beautiful tears for me. I think they’re starting to enjoy it.

5/26/24 -

I have to go on an extended trip for a week soon because of work and I’m nervous. They said they’ll wait happily for me, but I’m still so, so nervous. However, earlier this month I was gone for a few days and they didn’t go anywhere. Dove actually welcomed me back happily. I think we’ll be okay. I think this is it, the true test. I know they’ll pass, but still, I can’t quiet the anxiety in my heart. I’ll have to spend as much time as possible with them and get out all my excitement before I have to leave. I’m going to miss the feeling of their skin beneath my fingers and teeth.

6/11/24 -

[This page has also been smeared and torn in anger. *Another fully corrected version will be at the bottom.]

I — FUCKING BE—VE THEY DI- TH— AG—!!! THEY R— AW—!! THE- STOL- SO MU— —IT FRO- ME!! THEY TO— THE MO—Y I HA- HIDDEN!!!! THE- TOOK FO— AN- CLO—— AN- LEFT!! I- SO FUCK—- ANGRY!!! I'LL K— THEM!!! I JUS- MIGH- FUCK— KIL- THEM!!! AT TH- VER- LEA— THEY— NEVE- WAL- AGAIN! WHEN I ———— NEVER ES— AGAIN! LOCKS, CA—S, CHA—S!! WHAT—— IT TAKES!!!!!!

Dove, you’d better pray to —y FUCKING DIETY in EXIST—— THAT I DON- FIN- —U!!! When I d-, you’re goin- to su——— much for do— th— to me.

--

6/08/23 -

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS!! DOVE WAS TRYING TO MOVE!! THEY WERE TRYING TO LEAVE ME!! THAT STUPID BASTARD [Redacted] TRIED TO TAKE THEM FROM ME! WHEN ALL IVE FUCKING DONE HERE IS PROTECT THEM AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY ME?!? I'VE NEVER BEEN SO ANGRY!!!

Dove is FUCKING LUCKY I had the home ready! If not, I would’ve just thrown them in the fucking basement!!! [Redacted] got what they deserved. I beat them so bad you can't even fucking recognize them. I’ll dump the body somewhere else.

6/11/24 -

I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THEY DID THIS AGAIN!!! THEY RAN AWAY!! THEY STOLE SO MUCH SHIT FROM ME!! THEY TOOK THE MONEY I HAD HIDDEN!!!! THEY TOOK FOOD AND CLOTHES AND LEFT!! IM SO FUCKING ANGRY!!! I'LL KILL THEM!!! I JUST MIGHT FUCKING KILL THEM!!! AT THE VERY LEAST THEY'LL NEVER WALK AGAIN! WHEN I CATCH UP THEY WILL NEVER ESCAPE AGAIN! LOCKS, CAGES, CHAINS!! WHATEVER IT TAKES!!!!!!

Dove, you’d better pray to every FUCKING DIETY in EXISTENCE THAT I DON'T FIND YOU!!! When I do, you’re going to suffer so much for doing this to me.

[hells-wasabii]

Hi I was hoping if maybe you could do Velvette and Carmilla (poly or separate whichever you want to do) with a fem s/o that had a very abusive ex while she was alive like both physical and verbal abuse. She also has a hard time going out because she is terrified that she might run into them again. No pressure though hope you have a good day!😁

A/N: I'm so sorry i didn't write over the weekend, I got so busy it was ridiculous. Should be back to our regularly scheduled broadcast tomorrow! I'll be honest, this ask resonated with me, I immediately knew that I was gonna enjoy writing this one and you'll see why. Like i did last time, I'll be putting one drabble on one post and the other on a separate one with the ask included!

Character: Velvette

Type: Fic (Velvette x fem!reader who had an abusive ex, Angst, Fluff)

She was going to destroy them. And whatever was left of them when she was done, no one would dare touch, else they also wanted their lives burnt to ash.

Velvette was furious, livid. Needless to say, the influencer was on a war path.

Truly, she was glad that you weren’t here to see her like this. You didn’t need another reminder of that stain of a soul, though she wasn’t just going to lie or keep you in the dark. You knew where she was and what she was planning. You had been in tears when she told you in soft whispers that it was going to be okay, that she was going to ‘take care of it’. She was surprised that she had been able to keep her cool until she had left the flat.

Honestly, the influencer knew that she wasn’t supposed to know about the bastard yet. You had wanted to tell her on your own time and she respected that. But that didn’t mean that she hadn’t already suspected. When you would get nervous out in public, looking out into crowds like you were expecting to see a ghost. The flinching early in your relationship anytime she’d so much as graze your arm.

It figured that they were in hell too. It made sense, all things considered. Plus they were probably slippery enough to stay out of the path of any angels during exterminations

It had been such a peaceful day too. The both of your schedules had aligned, Velvette was between projects and you hadn’t had any real plans until later in the night, which said plans were with the overlord anyways.

It had been so long since the two of you had enjoyed a lazy morning together. Velvette was more than content simply enjoying each other’s company on the couch. You had been entangled with your lover, your arms loosely wrapped around her waist while you rest your chin on her shoulder, watching her scroll through her current feed.

She remembered so clearly how tense you became when she came across the picture. Some club goer that she would have completely ignored other wise, had it not been for the fact that you had started trembling. And then you flinched when the overlord had reached out to cup your cheek. She was quick to assure you that you had nothing to apologize for when you offered a dejected ‘sorry’.

And that was how Velvette found out about your only other serious relationship and the story of your death. Through needless apologies and countless tears.

Now, the influencer found herself storming through the halls of Vee Tower with one destination in mind. Vox’s office.

“Vox I need your help.” These were the first words out of her mouth when she burst in through the doors to the video star’s office

“Velvette, I thought you were taking today off?” The video star startled, quickly closing his current video feed. He seemed more than he would have usually. Whether it was because he hadn’t expected to see her or because of how angry she looked, the influencer didn’t know. And frankly, she didn’t give a shit, either. He could keep watching the radio demon like a creep later.

The video star leaned back in his seat when Velvette didn’t offer an answer. So instead he gesturing for the younger overlord to sit. She did not. Lacing his fingers together, Vox took in the sight that was Velvette. She was angry, that much was obvious, but why? She didn’t have any current projects that he could think of, so what in the literal hell could have her so vexed?

“What’s got you on a war path today my dear?” Though his smile didn’t meet his eyes. No, he knew something was very wrong.

“I need a favor.” This seemed to get his attention. In reality, Velvette rarely asked for favours, instead preferring to get shit done herself. Even rarer still, she was here, asking him in person instead of calling or texting him.

Vox turned to her fully now, a serious expression settling upon his screen. “Of course, what do you need?”

“Your reach is farther than mine,” She admitted, her voice soft, betraying the unbridled rage that dwelled beneath the surface. Reaching into her bag she pulled out a photo of demon who had summoned her ire, sliding a photo across his desk to show him. An eyebrow raise, the older sinner took the photo in his hand.

Mostly uninterested, Vox really wasn’t sure what he was looking at. The picture was ordinary, some demon taking a selfie at a club. Looked like some regular old schmuck to him. Returning his gaze back to his youngest cohort, he found her glaring at the offending photo so hard that he was surprised it didn’t burst into flames right there in his hand. Just to be safe, he put the photo back down on his desk.

“And what exactly did this poor bastard do to piss you off this bad?”

“That’s the fucker who used to beat on my girl.” Velvette all but hissed out, glarring down at the picture. Then, she spoke again, softer, her voice nearly trembling as a more grave expression took to her face. “They killed her, too.”

Vox froze, his screen flickering as his own temper spiked at the revelation. You were good for Velvette. He actually liked you, which was more than he could say about any other demon that the influencer had brought around the tower. Val liked you just as much. He was going to be pissed if he was left out of the fun, the video star noted as he shot the moth demon a quick text to get his ass to his office. Vox’s lips split into a vicious grin, his voice low, practically a growl as he forced out a: “Well, lets get to work then, shall we?”

[kayluh1915]

psssst, disclaimer…

@swiftllama: *texts me with no context* EVERY BTS THEY GET GAYER AND GAYER

Me after watching said BTS:

It's Ianthony moment breakdown time, BBY!

I know I've been gone for a while but I've really been going through it, y'all. I want to post more from here on out, but I can't make any promises. Executive disfunction and ADHD paralysis sssuuuccckkkkssss.

Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled screamings!

Also, this is from a members only video. If you can, please support Ian and Anthony directly. I do not share content outside of small Ianthony moments like these.

The noise that came out of my mouth was not human in anyway, shape, or form! Anthony has carried Ian like this before, but it was before his departure. Back then they were really stiff and awkward with each other since their friendship was strained, as they have mentioned several times. Now they're super close and don't give a flying fuck and MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT!

Sam has been keeping me up to date with everything and I just can't believe the timeline we're in. Everything else might be shit, but at least Ian and Anthony are back together and give us moments like these on the weekly! 😭They keep me sane.

ANYWAYS, I made some gifs of the moment because AHHHH and I'm going to break down the little moments that made my fandom heart flutter

Let's get to it!

Right off the bat, Ian very minorly freaks out when Anthony picks him up and immediately grips Anthony's arm. Logically, I know that anyone would grab onto the closest thing on instinct in this situation... but my Ianthony brain is screaming: "AWWW! ANTHONY MAKES HIM FEEL SAFE!!!!!!!"

Okay, my logic brain is calming down now because this gif just confirmed that Ian not only trusts Anthony whole heartedly but also FEELS SAFE! As soon as Anthony reassures him that he won't let him fall Ian relaxes and starts to let go of the death grip he has on Anthony's arm near the end of the gif.

Another demonstration of how much Ian trusts Anthony. He doesn't even flinch when he lifts him up and even has that face he makes that screams: "yeah yeah, we know Mr. Buff." after Anthony comments on how easy it is for him to hold Ian.

DUDE! The way Ian just goes limp after Anthony once again lets him know that he's got him. IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE and, again, is proof of how much he trusts him. He knows Anthony won't drop him and just decides to relax for a second, putting his full weight on Anthony's shoulders. I CANNOT! It's so intimate!!! Ian probably also took notes from Rhett's "I'm Dead" move he pulls on Link which I find hilarious.

Okay, this is my favorite one of this whole gifset. The way Anthony looks back at Ian to make sure he's still comfortable and then smiling to someone about it!?!? BRING AMBERLAMPS! MY HEART HAS STOPPED!

Damn, I needed these two in my life so badly right now. The fact that they pulled THIS SHIT just makes it so much better. I know they've said and done things more damning within the past few months, but I enjoy more intimate moments like these. Yeah, it's for a bit, but it shows just how much Anthony cares for Ian and how much Ian trusts him.

Lord have mercy, I need a nap after all of that. 😮‍💨

[dancingtotuyo]

Build You the World

Joel Miller X Reader

Rating: PG-13 (Language)

Warnings: fluffiness, just fluff

Summary: Joel was stupid. Saying sorry the only way he knows how, Joel built you something.

Pre- Outbreak/ No outbreak because I want them to live a happy undisturbed life together.

Notes: We take a break from our regularly scheduled Narcos/Javier Peña content to give you this teeth rotting fluff piece about Joel Miller. Cross posted on AO3

Words: 1286

Series Master List | Author Master list

Joel sucked in a breath. Supplies scattered on the floor around him. The industrial fan blew the hot Texas air into his hotter garage. Sarah rode her bike around the driveway, purple fairy wings strapped to her back. She chatted on and on, no doubt caught up in a make believe land. He needed to take the training wheels off her bike. Maybe tomorrow he would have time.

Joel’s gaze drifted back over the supplies he’d bought at the hardware store this morning. Sarah had asked what he was making as her little legs struggled to keep up with his long strides. She’d noticed the unusual components he gathered. These weren’t for a job or the back porch he’d been working on all summer.

“Secret project” he’d winked at her and thankfully, she’d accepted it.

He hadn’t been able to sleep last night. He’d handled the whole situation badly. It was 2 am before Joel gave up the tireless pursuit of sleep and drawn up the plans. He currently wondered if he’d bitten off more than he could chew. He was a contractor. He did big projects like framing houses and decks. His fine carpentry skills left a lot to be desired.

Joel pushed those thoughts from his head. He could do this. He wanted to do this.

One lunch break, two first aid breaks, (a splinter in his thumb and a skinned knee for Sarah) and a nap (Sarah’s) later, Joel had all the pieces shaped and sanded. He couldn’t help but admire his handy work. Sure it was a simple design and yeah, it wasn’t assembled yet, but he’d made this. He just prayed it all fit.

Sarah colored at his workbench. She’d woken up not long ago and was still quiet from her nap. “Daddy, what are you making?”

“Top secret, baby girl.” He winked at her, pulling the wood glue and clamps from the cabinet.

She sighed in exasperation turning back to her coloring book. Joel hummed along to the classic rock station. His tshirt clung to his body wet with sweat. At 5:30, the temperature was just beginning its slow descent. He started to assemble to the first side, praying he’d made all the slots the correct size. That had been the most tedious part, ensuring it would all lock together properly.

“Daddy, I’m hungry. Are we going to have dinner soon?”

“Soon, I want to get this first side put together first.”

Sarah sighed, her hair floating up and then falling back over her eyes. Joel chuckled, kissing her forehead. “Why don’t you go grab a cheese stick to tide you over?”

“Okay.” She slid off the stool, running inside.

It slid together with relative ease. Only a few profanities dropped from his mouth when he dropped something or spilled the glue everywhere.

He was jerryrigging the clamps when Sarah squealed, darting out of the garage. He glanced up, just able to make out the blue sedan that pulled in behind his pickup. Your blue sedan.

Nerves coursed through him. He reached for his beer. It was warm and flat now, barely touched. Sharp power tools and alcohol don’t mix well. He ignored the taste, taking another gulp. After last night, fear and shame filled him.

Sarah held your hand, talking a mile a minute as if you didn’t kiss her Goodnight last night. You laughed at something she said, but he heard the way it doesn’t quite reach. The first thing he noticed were the dark bags under your eyes and the red rings around them. Guilt flooded him. You need sleep more than ever right now. He felt the exhaustion radiating off of you.

You attempted to make yourself more presentable before gathering the courage to come over. The shower helped, your hair still damp and curling. The mascara kept running so you left it.

 You round the corner with Sarah. Joel can hardly look at you. To be fair, you don’t really want to look at him either. You don’t want a repeat of last night but you can’t ignore the situation at hand either.

You finally call up the courage to look at him. You’d grown proud of yourself for learning the ins and outs of Joel Miller in the two years you’d known him. You could read him like the bedtime stories you read to Sarah, silly voices and all, but right now the pages of him blurred. Maybe that was just the tears you fought back.

“Sarah, do you want to grab your fairy wings to show-“

“Yes!” Sarah didn’t allow her father to finish. She was gone through the door in a flash of dark curls.

“She’s been excited to show you. Can’t believe she wasn’t wearin’ ‘em.” His Texas drawl popped out sending shivers down your spine. He forced a smile.

You wanted to return it, but other things pressed your mind. You weren’t good at diversion.

“Joel.” Your lip quivered and you hated yourself for it. You felt out of control right now.

He sighed. “Come here.” He cocked his head back stepping further into the garage.

The fan pushed air through your hair and skirt granting mellow relief to the heat.

 “I’ve been working on this.” He swallowed presenting his scattered workspace. He read all nerves but there was the briefest sense of pride too.

Pieces of carefully shaped and sanded wood laid about in piles. You caught sight of what he’d put together. “Porch railing?”

You failed to see the connection. Not to mention it looked too tall and narrow to be for the back deck. And what was with the arch? Was he trying to build a trellis? He’d been talking about putting in some raised beds for you and Sarah.

Was this some kind of joke? An “I’m sorry?” It hardly accounted for one.

“No, it’s a-“ he sighed, running a hand through his curls. He needed a haircut. You had planned to take the clippers to it last night until things went awry.

He picked his notebook up off the work bench. The leather bound one you got him for Christmas. You were convinced he didn’t use it. It sat on his nightstand and you were sure if you’d picked it up, you would see a dust outline. He handed it to you.

You could tell he hadn’t used it much but that didn’t really matter. Your breath caught, all else forgotten the moment your eyes landed on the page. It was rough, dotted with measurements and notes, but it was clear as day all the same.

Tears built up for a whole new reason.

“I stayed up all night working through the design. It's nothing extravagant, but it’ll be sturdy… and safe.” He stuttered.

You traced the design with your finger. All the doubts from the past 24 hours, gone just like that. “You designed a crib?”

“It’s cherry wood. I know that’s your favorite.”

“You designed a crib for our baby?” You stepped into his bubble. You couldn’t believe it. Of everything you anticipated tonight, this was not on the list.

“Baby, I’m so sorry for last night. I was a jackass-“

“Joel Miller, Shut up! You’re building this?”

You looked at him like he hung the fucking galaxy, and his heart settled. He knew the two of you would be okay.

 “Yes.”

 You kissed him, arms thrown over his shoulders, tears streaming down your face as the nightmare turned  into a dream.

You would hear his apology out in full later, lord knows you deserved it after last night, but right now, you just wanted to celebrate. Celebrate him, your love, and the little bundle of joy to join the three of you in 7 short months.

[writingwhimsey]

Married to The Enemy- Shingen Ch. 66

And we are back to our regularly scheduled programming! (okay not really all that regular, but you get what I mean haha).

Chapter 66

We all exited the palace and headed into town together. Shingen kept an arm around my waist as we walked into town. Decorations were strung up everywhere, shops were open with all kinds of crafts, even some special ones that were made as special tokens to welcome Shingen home.

Of course, what really caught my attention was the delicious aromas wafting through the air from the various food stalls. But I kept myself quiet. This day was about Shingen and I wanted him to enjoy it.

“The town went all out for you, my lord.” Yuto told Shingen.

“I can see that.” Shingen replied, smiling as he took everything in. I could tell he was genuinely happy to be back in Kai and it seemed like quite the warm welcome from his people. Those beautiful gray eyes soon came to me. “What would you like to see first, my love?”

“I’m fine with wherever you want to start.” I replied. “This is all for you, you know.”

Shingen chuckled and kissed me on the forehead. “It is also to welcome YOU to Kai as well.” He told me. 

“Oh, come on, there has to be something you were really looking forward to about coming back to Kai.” I replied.

Shingen grinned at me. “There is something…and I have a feeling you will enjoy it too.” He said, kissing the tip of my nose.

The next thing I knew, we were at one of the food stalls, getting several orders of some sweets that were exclusive to Kai. The cook behind the shop smiled as he handed Shingen the treats. “I made this order just the way you like them, my lord. With extra sweet sticky syrup.”

Shingen smiled. “Thank you.”

“And do you have any special requests, my lady?” The cook asked me. “I remember when my wife was expecting our first. She had some of the strangest cravings.”

I shook my head. “No, thank you. As of right now, I just want food…and lots of sweets.”

The cook laughed. “Well, you are carrying Lord Shingen’s child. So that’s no surprise.”

We chatted a few more moments before we were taking our food and going to sit down on some benches. “You should be sure not to eat too much of those.” Mom told me as we all sat down. “You know too much sugar is bad for the baby.”

I pouted. “But it’s so good…and sweets are kind of all I’ve been craving.”

“That’s definitely Lord Shingen’s fault.” Yukimura said. “If I didn’t stop him, he’d eat nothing but sweets for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all the snacks in between.”

I giggled. “Hey, I make sure he gets balanced meals too, you know.” I said, picking up one of the sticky treats and popping it in my mouth, the sweet flavor instantly hitting my tongue and spreading through my mouth. “Mmm…” I hummed in contentment as I ate.

“Don’t act like you don’t have a sweet tooth yourself, Ava.” Mom said. “I seem to recall having to fight with you about your breakfast choices in the mornings growing up.”

“You worry too much, my girl.” Oba-san told Mom. 

“And you spoiled her too much.” Mom countered.

“That’s my job as the grandmother. I get to spoil and then give her back. Something you’ll come to enjoy here soon.” Oba-san replied with a smug grin.

“That is true.” Mom replied. She then looked at me. “You’ll finally get to know what it’s like to argue with a miniature version of yourself.”

I laughed. “What if the baby is a miniature version of Shingen? I mean besides the fact that he’d be super cute that way…”

Shingen chuckled. “Well, it’s good for us that I was a good boy then.” He said, caressing my hair.

“Most of the time. You had your moments.” Yuto countered. “You could be quite stubborn when you wanted to be.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” Shingen replied.

It was then that something new occurred to me. “Wait, Yuto, you were involved in Shingen’s upbringing?”

Yuto nodded. “Yes, my late wife was his wetnurse and I helped with his training and such.”

Shingen looked at me. “Are you thinking what I think you are, my love?”

I nodded. “Yes.” I then turned back to Yuto. “So, you would have all kinds of stories about him, right?”

“Oh, yes I could tell you anything you wanted to know.” Yuto replied.

“I don’t think that’s really needed, my love…” Shingen tried to protest.

“Oh, yes it is. Oba-san shared with you my embarrassing stories…and pictures…I wanna hear yours.” I replied.

Yuto chuckled. “Ah, you want to know the things my lord would prefer no one know?”

I nodded. “Pretty much yes.”

“I will be sure to regale you with such tales later. I promise.” Yuto replied.

“Aren’t you supposed to be my vassal?” Shingen teased.

Yuto grinned. “I am. But that also means your wife is now my lady and I serve her as well. Not to mention she is my step-daughter. I want her to like me afterall.”

I laughed. “Haha! Looks like I’ve won.” I then looked over at Mom. “Thanks for marrying him.”

Mom laughed. “You’re welcome…I think.”

“I’m in for trouble.” Shingen said with a chuckle.

“Don’t worry my lord, I will share the embarrassing stories with Ava and only stories that paint you in the best light with my wife.”

I couldn’t help but to giggle. Soon after finishing the sweets, we all began wandering around the festival. Our group slowly dwindled down until it was me and Shingen and my mom and Yuto. Oba-san had gone off on her own and then Yukimura and Saki had left to spend some time alone.

Shingen showed me around the town, showing me his favorite places around. Though he seemed to make sure that every place he showed me would interest me in some way. He also made sure to take me by the fabric merchant in town.

Kana and Yuto…

Kana walked beside Yuto, holding his hand as they made their way through the festival following her daughter and Shingen. She watched Ava and Shingen. This was Ava’s first day in Kai and she had wanted to know everything Shingen loved about the town. Yet she couldn’t help but to notice that Shingen was being sure to show Ava things that related to her interests.

He also seemed to make sure they took frequent breaks to ensure Ava had plenty of food to eat and plenty to drink. He made sure she sat down and rested as she needed to. As much as she didn’t want to trust Shingen…all signs pointed to the fact that Shingen really did love Ava and was dedicated to her.

She also noticed the way the women of the town looked at Shingen. There were lots of admiring looks. Not that Kana could really blame the women. Even she had to admit her son-in-law was a handsome man. Though what really caught her attention was that Shingen paid no attention to these other women and the longing looks they were giving him. He did seem to really only have eyes for Ava.

“They are rather sweet together.” Yuto spoke to her in a low voice, a warm smile on his face. “I haven’t seen my lord this happy in many years.”

“I will admit…he does seem to really care for her. And Ava does seem to be happy.” Kana admitted.

“I can tell you, I’ve known Lord Shingen since he was a boy. He’s never looked at a woman the way he looks at Ava.” Yuto told his wife. 

“I’m still not sure I can trust  him with her heart just yet…”

“Whether you trust him with her heart or not, doesn’t matter. She clearly has already trusted her heart to him.” Yuto replied. “Not to mention he is the father of your grandchild.”

Kana sighed. “I know. I just can’t help but to worry. She is my daughter after all…and until I clearly had terrible taste in men…and the rate Ava was going, she was on the same path as me.”

“But look at her face.” Yuto replied.

Kana looked at her daughter, seeing the genuine smile on her face. They were currently pursuing over some tea sets and other wares at one of the shops in town. She noticed Ava’s eyes lingering over certain things. Shingen’s eyes were on Ava, taking in everything she did.

“Would you like one of these tea sets, my love?” Shingen asked Ava.

“No. I just think they’re pretty and admire the craftsmanship.”

Kana knew her daughter. That was her way of trying to pass it off. She wanted one of those tea sets. She always denied wanting anything for herself. Kana made a mental note to come back and purchase one of the tea sets.

Of course that was when she noticed Shingen. When Ava’s back was turned, he discretely called the attention of the shopkeeper and passed him some money. The shopkeeper was then packing away the set Ava had been admiring. Kana noticed this was a pattern that occurred in several shops.

She looked to Yuto. “Is he doing what I think he’s doing?” She asked.

Yuto nodded. “Yes. One of the vassals will be along to pick them up later.”

“What are you two whispering about back there?” Ava asked, turning to look at her mother over her shoulder.

Kana smiled at her daughter. “Just thinking that that food stall over there smells good.”

“It does smell good.” Ava agreed.

The group headed over to get something to eat then and set down. “I’m glad we’re sitting down. My feet and ankles are starting to hurt a little.”

“Are they? We can’t have that.” Shingen said. He was then reaching for Ava’s feet and pulling them up into his lap. He removed her sandals and began to rub her feet and ankles.

Ava’s cheeks were glowing bright red. “Shingen…you don’t have to do that right out here.”

Shingen smiled at Ava. “I just want to take care of my goddess.”

The rest of the time at the festival was spent in a similar manner. By the time the festival was coming to a close and they were heading back to the castle, Ava was saying that her feet and ankles were hurting again. Shingen picked her up and carried her to the castle. 

Kana felt her heart warming at the sight. Ava had a genuine smile on her face…and it seemed it was all because of Shingen. It seemed perhaps, Ava had really found true love. It appeared Ava had chosen better than she had when she’d met Ava’s father. It appeared Shingen was a good man.

Taglist: @limonzu @zulablaise @oda-princess @kisara-16

@tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @lucyw260 @queengiuliettafirstlady

@bjorkshire-pudding @eventinelysplayground

[mxcomedy]

ykw fuck it. I'm doing the tumblr thing and posting a hot take to yell at the void at the risk of internet people burning me at the stake

(As a trans man myself) I feel like I've been seeing a ton of trans men going online and talking about how "T makes you ugly and sweaty and bald, and you have to be okay with that :)"

I get what they're going for — I'm all for the deconstruction of beauty standards, as they are very harmful and unrealistic. Having said that, I really feel like this isn't the way to go about it. by purposefully painting it in a negative light and sticking "and that's okay" on the end, I feel like you're not actually challenging beauty standards in the way you think you are. Instead, it feels like it often just reeks of internalized transphobia. Intentionally or not, you are literally saying HRT makes you ugly and gross. Sound familiar? it feeds right into the transphobic scare tactics that people having been using for years to prevent people from pursuing HRT. Broadcasting that message, as a trans person, to other trans people, can feel really fucking shitty and just perpetuate that fear. this shit can singlehandedly prevent young trans folk from pursuing transition, since their trans peers keep telling them that HRT will make them gross. Yes, we should normalize trans bodies. Yes, trans bodies are beautiful. Yes, we should embrace them unconditionally. Yes, it is good to challenge beauty standards that are cisnormative, racist, misogynistic, etc. but I'm tired of this approach as it does way more harm to the trans community than it does good. it's the same reason why people with learning disabilities don't say "yes, having a learning disability means you're stupid. and that's okay!" because they are only "stupid" when the definition of "smart" is skewed towards neurotypical people. which is bullshit. This is the part you should be questioning. We are not ugly. We simply don't fit that mould of what beauty is supposedly supposed to look like, because that mould is bullshit. There is a difference. We are only ugly by the definition of the same standards we intend to tear down. We should be lifting eachother up and highlighting that our differences is what makes us beautiful, unconditionally.

That's my piece. back to your regularly scheduled garbage goofy content

[starryinkart]

Hey, it looks like someone copied your concept of King Solver N!

https://www.deviantart.com/merisaphire3/art/Serial-Designation-Creature-Murder-Drones-1049473715

Ah yes. I’ve checked the post linked. I have recently come across a lot of my artwork with my signature clearly on it all across Deviant Art and Pinterest. Thankyou for telling me! I’ve left them a message to give credit where it’s due for the design, but it’s okay to gain inspiration off the design. I just hope they don’t block me, because the last result would be to report them.😅

This goes for ALL my creations (and I know MD isn’t created by me, just the AUs, comics and other mediums that I make in the future).

For those who want to know what is okay to do with my content:

It IS OKAY to reblog, like, build on and post with proper credit in the descriptions with my creations!

DO NOT post my content without credit, repost, trace or steal my content/art without permission on ANY site. You WILL be reported!

Thank you for understanding! 💕✨

Back to our regularly scheduled content… 👀

[drowninginredink]

Okay, you know what? Hot take time. Because let me tell you, I have Feelings about The Chosen as a character. Do I love him? Of course. Am I very excited for the fact that we're almost due for another Chosen Multiverse video? Yes. But. I also think that the reason we all find him funny is, dare I say, problematic. Please don't click away. I swear I have a point.

I know where Shayne got the character from. And yes. We all knew that kid. For me, I spent about half a year being sworn enemies with that kid, until I decided "you know what? Actually I'm going to be his friend." Being his friend was great until he moved away like a year later.

But the thing with The Chosen is that ultimately the reason we find him funny is that he's fundamentally disconnected from the real world. He does not live in the same reality as us. He thinks he has a higher purpose, but really he's just some loser. And as someone on the schizophrenia spectrum, that doesn't sit right with me. In the real world, when a grown man thinks he was "chosen" for a special purpose to save the world, he's a schizophrenic. It may be very unintentional, but if the chosen were real and older than 12, that's what he'd be. Being disconnected with reality is called being delusional. People deal with that all the time. I just got to catch myself in one earlier today. It's not just something for comedy characters.

I'm aware this isn't a thing that was done on purpose. These things are never done consciously. Anti-psychotic bias and the notion of psychotic people as inherently ridiculous is deeply rooted in our culture. It is so much bigger than Shayne Topp not having all of the Aunt Carolyn costume one day and making a joke out of how cringe he used to be.

Again. I like The Chosen. A lot. I want a three wolf moon shirt. I am not telling anyone to stop enjoying that content. I just want people to be aware of where the comedy comes from. I want to talk about it. I want to stop feeling like I'm the only one who sees this. I want other people to be slightly conflicted about it right along with me.

Oh, and I want to write a fic where The Chosen is actually psychotic. That too. I'm definitely doing that.

Oh, and while we're here? If you have ever read any of my fics and liked it, here's how you can show your appreciation. Stop using the terms "delusional," "psychotic," and "paranoid" unless you are describing people with actual mental illnesses experiencing symptoms of those disorders. Stop making jokes about hearing voices or hallucinating. Stop saying delulu. Most importantly, if you ever know or see anyone having any kind of mental health crisis, for the love of God, do not call 911. Ever. I do not care what they are doing. When psychotic people encounter the cops, it does not end well. There are local helplines and services that you can research... But even if you can't find one, doing nothing is still better than calling 911.

Okay. Serious moment over. Back to your regularly scheduled obsessing over comedians.