#old gay men piss me off

[maxdoesbb]

"she has to learn this lesson" BRO YOU ARE HER HOUSEMATE NOT HER PARENT

[justsomecouscous]

'in my relationship I only want a guy who's 6ft and has muscles' this 'I want a girl who has a big ass and boobs' that

Nah FUCK that

I want someone to lovingly hold my face in their hands and look adoringly at me then kiss me while the fans scream and cry from happiness after waiting for 5 seasons and the old bitter white men to sit seething in their arm chairs

[magentagalaxies]

one of the absolute funniest moments on scott's tour that i wasn't able to capture on camera (for obvious reasons) was at the meet and greet after the nashville show these two older gay guys mentioned they were reading scott's wikipedia page before the show to find out more to chat about at the meet and greet and like. idk if this is just because i am very familiar with scott's wikipedia page but you could tell that was the extent of their scott knowledge (which is valid not everyone is researching a documentary on the guy)

but then they asked about the poster for the lowest show, which they'd never heard of before their wikipedia reading, specifically this quote:

"The posters—featuring Thompson lying supine on the ground with a big wad of semen dripping down the side of his face—went up around the city on September 10, 2001"

and they were like "wow we'd love to see those posters hahaha" and i immediately jump in like "oh i have that photo on my phone give me like 2 seconds"

to be clear: these guys had not interacted with me or acknowledged my existence the entire conversation. they had their backs to me when they were talking to scott, i did not introduce myself as directing the documentary since i wasn't filming and they didn't ask who i am, etc. but my brain was like "oh someone wants to learn more about scott? my time to shine, let me pull up that folder in my camera roll". even scott was like jfc here they go again.

anyway i barely had to scroll back in my doc research folder so i immediately held out my phone to the guys and showed them this

it's a photo taken days after 9/11 of scott in front of the posters for his show which was supposed to open the following week

so i hold out my phone and explain this thinking like hey i'm being so helpful these guys wanted to see this aspect of scott lore and i gave it to them!! meanwhile these two old guys are like i can't even focus on the poster anymore i am standing next to scott thompson and also WHO THE FUCK IS THIS CHILD AND WHY DID THEY JUST HAVE THIS ON THEIR PHONE?

another one of the funniest tour moments was after meeting up with some gay guys in their 70s who were friends-of-a-friend-of-scott and immediately befriending both of them we were about to leave and i asked for their phone number and scott just rolled his eyes and was like i'll give you his phone number in the car as though he was saying "jfc jessamine this is ridiculous even for you". he never ended up giving me the old guy's number

[iluvloganhowlett]

I HATE YOU .𖥔 ݁ ˖

in which logan leaves for a mission unexpectedly for almost a year and still expects to be welcomed home upon return

warnings: angst, no happy ending (oops!), a little violence, mutant!reader, that’s it fr

reader has same powers as logan bc they were both experiments at the same time

i also switched up the timeline slightly so pretend logan isn’t a grumpy old man and is more so how he was in x-men (2000)

i also saw some other story that was kinda like this one but i couldn’t remember who’s it was so if anyb knows drop it so i can credit

part 2

“why are we here again?” wade questioned, stuffing a handful of cheetos he stole from a vending machine a while back.

logan only glared at him, “because. i left her for 9 months, the least i can do is come home and show her that im alive.”

wade shrugs, “who even is this ‘she?’ is she hot?”

in seconds, wade finds himself pinned against the wall of the hallway, logan’s claws only centimeters from his neck. “she’s my girl, you don’t get to talk about her being hot,” logan growls, retracting his claws and releasing wade.

“well damn wolvie! don’t get your panties in a bunch, im not stealing your girl! unless the charm is just too much for her then-“

“do you ever stop fucking talking outta your ass?”

wade only sighed, halting to a stop as logan did the same. “137,” logan muttered, looking up at the 137 sitting next to your door.

as logan rose his hand to knock, the door was swung open. logan’s eyes widened. he thought he’d gotten himself back into the right headspace to see you again, clearly he’d been mistaken.

the way your low-set brows rose up at the corners in anger, your long lashes drawing his eyes straight to your deep brown ones. your plush lips curled in slightly and your hair flowed down your back smoother than water.

wade whistled, “hey hot stuff-“ before he was cut of with a punch to the nose, dragging him down to the floor.

logan still had yet to say anything, admiring all the parts of you he’d missed.

however he was cut off with a groan, looking down at your claws that had made their way through his abdomen and back out, retracing back into your forearms.

“what the hell are you doing back here? and who’s the red sex-toy lookin’ thing that i j punched?”

as much as logan wanted to laugh at your dig at wade, he knew how to read the room. and frankly, he was still to stunned. “y/n? baby?”

“don’t call me that,” logan’s eyes widened, “you don’t get to call me that after disappearing for 9 months without notice, lo!”

logan couldn’t help but admire your use of his nickname you created even though you’re pissed at him.

“listen. i know, okay? i know and im sorry but if you let me in,” logan stepped closer, “i can expl- ah fuck!”

you’d stabbed him again in the same spot, pushing his body against the hall with your claws. “no you listen to me, logan. and you listen to me good. i’m not letting you come into my- our house after going awol for fucking forever and coming back with some random gay in a red suit,” you pulled your claws out of him but didn’t put them away this time.

your face softens, eyes moving rapidly between logan’s. he knew you better than anyone, he could see the way your eyes shifted from angry to vulnerable and the way your eyebrows lifted; you were a mini him, despite you being the same age.

“i thought you died, lo. i spent the past months thinking the only person i had and loved was fucking dead,” your eyes welled up as you backed away from logan, putting your claws away alas.

“i’m sorry, doll. im so sorry you have no idea,” logan’s calloused hands grazed your forearms, thumbs tracing the spot where your claws rested.

you sighed, holding back the urge to give in and hold onto him as long as you could.

“but you dont understand-“ you looked away, only for logan to lift a hand and cup your face in it, forcing your glossy eyes to meet his.

“you’re right, james! i don’t understand! so jesus fucking christ enlighten me.”

logan was taken back at your use of his real name, lip parting slightly. his heart ached more and more every time he watched your bottom lip quiver. he knew you were trying to keep up your strong facade, but were beginning to fail.

“i had a mission to go on. i had to save the world, baby!” your brows curled back into anger, and logan knew you thought he was bullshitting. “cmon, angel, stay with me. the asshat over there in the red, he dragged me into this. so if you’re gonna kill anyone for this, have it be him. i just- i need you to let me in.”

you shook your head. “lo- just-“ you stuttered, scavenging for words. “but why didn’t you say anything? you couldn’t have called? sent a letter? hell, baby i would’ve been happy with a fucking pigeon!”

“i didn’t have access to that shit.”

“for 9 months?”

he took a deep sigh, “yes, for nine months.” his tone grew louder. “because if i hadn’t left you for those 9 months there would be no more you for me to come back home to!”

“get out of my damn building, logan.”

“what?”

“leave! i want you and that goddamn red thing to get as far away from me as you fucking can and stay there.”

“y/n-“

“bye logan!”

you slammed the door in his face, leaving him standing there in utter disbelief.

logan’s claws retracted, “FUCK!” he screamed through the hall, leaving a giant claw park across your door.

he looked down at wade, who was watching from a safe distance on the floor. he put his claws away, grabbing wade by the fabric of his suit and dragging him onto his feet.

“get up, you heard the girl; let’s get the fuck away from her.”

logan was breathing heavy, more than ever before. it was like his heart couldn’t catch up to everything he was feeling in the moment. the last thing he wanted to be doing right now was walking out of your apartment building and leaving you, but he was weighed down by so much anger and hurt that he wasn’t exactly in control of himself at the moment.

“well,” wade started, “you handled that well.”

and before he knew it, wade was stabbed into a wall. “ow?”

logan growled, “i’m coming back for her.”

wade only let out a long laugh, stopping logan in his tracks.

“what the fuck are you laughing at? you should’ve heard the joke she made about you! she said you look like a sex toy-“

“i’m not laughing at that, you ape. i’m laughing at the fact that you’re coming back to her! look how it turned out the last time you ‘came back.’ “

“you don’t know what you’re talking about, kid. i’m coming back, whether she likes it or not. i’m not losing the love of my life after all i did to make sure i wouldn’t lose her.”

“i-“ “and next time im here, you won’t be.”

so! should i make a part 2 WITH a happy ending when he does come back??? 🫣🫣

♯ taglist! ∿

@spazwayy @oatmilkriver @sseleniaa @mei-simp @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesangel @realsimpbitchshit @pickuptruck01 @keigohawks @thereallchristine @velvrei

[archangeldyke-all]

Sevika and reader being grumbly whiskey aunts together!!!

They just want to sit on their porch together. <3

this is EVERYTHING to me

men and minors dni

you spend your evenings on your screened-in front porch, passing a smoke back and forth, one of you occasionally getting up to grab fresh drinks and snacks from the house.

you're both total grumps, but the kids (vander and silco's ofc) know that if they're ever in trouble, the first house to call is their aunts'.

lmaoooo now i'm imagining jinx calling you for a ride home from a party she shouldn't be at-- and you and sevika showing up to pick her up-- grinding and making out in front of all her friends just so she learns her lesson adkfj;laskjd

over the years, you've hosted the kids in your house for all kinds of reasons. claggor spent a month living with you guys when the three little kids were bogged down with a flu they kept passing around. in a rebellion against his dads' video games ban on him after they caught him smoking weed at fourteen, mylo and his xbox moved in with the two of you. jinx and vi come over for 'girl nights' all the time when they're growing up, and when violet gets laid off from her first job, she crashes with the two of you until she can get back on her feet.

they're the only kids you tolerate though. neighborhood kids are terrified of you and sevika-- both of you are total grumps, and little slayer and sugar are the exact same.

(but you make up for your bad reputation in the neighborhood on halloween-- you're always the house that gives out full sized candy bars.)

your elderly neighbors though? they love you and sevika.

they appreciate that you're just as grumpy as them. they always wave to you from their porches, where they sit every evening along with you guys. they like that you don't give a shit about the home owners association, and that sevika sometimes even does shit just to piss them off. (she painted your fence hot pink after being told by the HOA that the natural wood needed to be painted white. she earned the hearts of all your grumpy old neighbors with that move.)

as a result, you're always being given plates of cookies and pans of casseroles by the old ladies in the neighborhood, the old men are always coming over to share a smoke with sevika and exchange books, gardening tips, and garage tools. (you and sevika repay their hospitality by shoveling their sidewalks and raking their leaves for them in the shitty weather.)

you're constantly being told by old folks that you're 'the nicest lesbians we've ever met.'

sevika always laughs at this, then asks how many lesbians they have met. the answer is always just the two of you.

(one time, though, a little old lady informs you that her granddaughter is a lesbian 'just like you two,' and that she was so happy when she came out to her because 'you'll be just like my lovely neighbors!' this one makes you cry... and even sevika tears up a bit.)

in the summer, you've got a big fan you can flick on to keep you cool on your porch.

in the winter, you've got a little space heater you can pull closer to your matching rocking chairs.

after a few years, sevika even builds you an outside bed, so that after an evening of drinking whiskey and sharing a joint you can cuddle in each other's arms outside and listen to the crickets and frogs chirping before heading in for the evening.

your porch is your favorite little spot in the whole wide world. sevika's planted a jungle of plants surrounding it, and it's like your little oasis from the real world. you've got christmas lights strung around the ceiling that stay up all year long, lighting the porch when the sun finally sets. you've got dog and cat beds scattered everywhere so your animals can join you. there's ash trays, pipes, books, and bottles littered everywhere, and there's always at least a dozen potted plants scattered around inside your little sanctuary.

it's heaven.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette @ellieslob @xayn-xd @keikuahh @maneskinwh0re

[dynastyscans]

2016 dashboard simulator

mutual 1: (100x100 icon of character they kin making a sad face) ccan i get some asks ?? jjsut saw one of my triggers and i dotn feel so good,,,

mutual 2: hnnGGGHHHG I NEED DADDY SHREK TO VORE ME AND PISS ON ME 💦💦💦

mutual 3: This is serious. If you're of voting age and reading this, you NEED to go out and vote for Hillary. If Tr*mp gets elected he will literally kill all LGBTQ people.

mutual 4: lmfao @ mutual 3 saying "lgbtq" lgbt is the full acronym why would you put the fucking q slur in it faggot #q slur tw ///

mutual 5: (100x100 smug nagito komaeda icon) LMAOOO someone who thinks they're me tried to follow me AND they're white and kin outside their race. get fucked

mutual 6: everyone block and report mutual 2 for s*xualizing shrek who is literally a character from a CHILDREN'S movie, and for using p*d*ph*l*c inc*st terms like "d*ddy". it doesn't matter if it's a "joke", mutual 2. it's p*d*ph*l*a.

mutual 7: dare i say trump is asexual? hes so brave and so fucking orange...

mutual 8: hhey guys can i id as naruto or is he japanese coded or smth i dont want to accidentally be racist im white so like i dont wanna step out of line,, #lms if you read

mutual 9: reminder that if you like yaoi or yuri you are literally homophobic and racist! idgaf if you're mlm and like yaoi or wlw and like yuri, you are fetishizing and sexualizing mlm/wlw. pee your pants

mutual 10: lol my ex just "came out" as asexual #cringe

mutual 11: reminder that you need to worship every lesbian you meet and lick their feet you literally owe it to lesbians everywhere. non-lesbians can reblog but don't fucking comment. nsfw blogs fuck off i'm literally a 17 year old minor.

mutual 12: just made a gore blog mutuals lms for the url !!

mutual 13: OwO what's this???? hewwo??? h-hewwo??? owo... muwutuaws... anyone hewe....

mutual 14: just had to block a mutual for this so friendly fucking reminder that the rainbow flag is only for gay men. if you are a lesbian or bisexual use your own fucking flag its not a "community flag" gay men dont have any other flag so stop taking whats ours and fuck off

mutual 15: DICKS OUT FOR HARAMBE!!!

[captain-mj]

This is an ask to remind you to write the ghost poured alcohol and spit into soaps mouth at a concert fic. Pretty please... do write it uwu

Thank you thank you thank you i really wanted an excuse to write this other than me being self indulgent

Simon forgot what exactly Tommy had called the pills he had taken. He just knew he felt great.

From an outsiders point of view, he looked good too. Simon knew that. Jason had helped him with his makeup so he had a large painted black Glasgow smile and blacked out eyes that streaked down. At some point, he had lost his shirt. His jacket didn’t really keep the cold out but in his opinion, it made him look better.

Simon downed more alcohol, his head swimming. The world was fading in and out with the bump of the music. It was so much better than being sober.

There was some… guy. Staring at him. He had dark hair and he was dressed kinda strange. Long sleeved blue shirt and jeans rather than scene gear. It made him stand out almost as much as those pretty blue eyes.

Simon licked his lips. “Hey buddy. Need something or are you just staring?”

The man spoke in gibberish in a thick Scottish accent. Simon wondered if he was higher than he thought or if the guy simply spoke another language.

“You speak English?” He slurred out, staggering closer to him.

That upset him. Quite a bit. He spoke more of his gibberish at him. He looked a bit younger. Simon wondered vaguely if he was old enough to be there, but Simon wasn’t exactly old enough either so…

“Want a drink?”

He paused His angry rambling to look at Simon closely before nodding and reaching for it.

Simon held it above his head, using his height to make sure he’d have to jump for it. “Nah. Tilt your head back.”

Mystery guy paused and clearly hesitated before doing as told. He let Simon grip his jaw gently and opened his mouth obediently. When in Rome. Or when you’re in Manchester you let a high, hot guy pour alcohol into your mouth.

Simon was careful not to drown him. He had done this before. It was cheap liquor, no doubt burned on the way down but he took it like a champ. Their eyes met and the burn in Simon’s chest was definitely not cause of the alcohol. This dude was fucking hot.

When the Scot tilted his head to try to get him to stop, Simon spit into his mouth and let go of him. The Scot quickly closed it so the alcohol wouldn’t get on his shirt. He looked flustered as he swallowed and Simon could see how his pupils dilated.

Simon grinned and put his hand on his shoulder. “Don’t understand a word you’re saying, love. But if you wanna go i co-“

Tommy jumped on Simon’s back, laughing. “Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, where were you?”

In the brief moment he stumbled, the Scot fled, leaving Simon with a case of blue balls and very pissed off. “You’re the fucking worst.”

~~~

“There’s no fucking way that was you.” Ghost argued. “We’re four years apart! It doesn’t even make sense.”

Soap crossed his arms. “You made me realize i was fucking gay and into taller men and you refuse to believe me.”

Ghost shook his head. “No way. You’re delusional.”

Soap gaped at him. “The guy who jumped on you called you Si! He had skull makeup on!”

“Fuck off, Johnny.”

“Oh come on, Lt. you wanna recreate it?”

[punkeropercyjackson]

This is just me stating facts not tryna brag but with the male characters i grew up with and the ones i started stanning in adulthood it confuses me and pisses me off when fandoms go nuts and off the walls for guy characters literally just being decent men.Aang fell in love with Katara for her brown girl swag on SIGHT and put her as his number one priority constantly to the point he said 'Why would i choose cosmic energy over Katara?' with his whole chest zero hesitation,Percy Jackson worships every woman he meets and is a misandrist king and grew up a bully beater who got kicked out 6 schools by 12 because he wouldn't stop standing up for others and that stayed into the greco-roman mythos world too and is literally immune to gentrification(explicitly shown multiple times he's simply incapable of wanting to become a cop-i mean god)and pretty much adopted the series' first gay boy and darkskin black fem mc as pseudo-siblings and kids,Ichigo Kurosaki's introduction scene was him jumping a bunch of grown men at 15 for defacing a little girl's memorial and then comforting her ghost and he spent the whole series non-creepily obsessed with his pastel autistic girl love interest that has huge tiddies but never sexually harrased her and actually told off multiple characters for doing so and twins with Percy in that last point(but replace 'god' with 'Soul Society member'),Jason Todd pushed a guy off a roof as Robin for SA'ing a woman and killed a pedophillic teacher for abusing one one of his student's as Red Hood and instantly beefed with all his brothers EXCEPT the one who's the first EVER black Robin and instantly loved him instead and calls him a Robin no matter how much DC tries to erase him and roasts amatonormativity/cisheteronormativity and Hobie Brown is a femme afropunk who kills fascists and took in a homeless 16 year old trans girl who's abusive dad kicked her out for doing actual justice and always had the back of the 15 year old black boy who's the mc while also not faulting the aformentioned girl for the awful situation she was put in.My standards for male characters and even irl men to an extent reach the stars by now.So no i'm not gonna praise that nigga from The Little Mermaid or that motherfucker from Spy x Family or ESPECIALLY not any man written by Jane Austen.Y'all too easily impressed and it gives me secondhand embarrasment

[theresamouseinmyhouse]

tim + brentwood characters as boys i was legitimately friends with in high school and think of every single day:

Buzz- Jake (fake names for all of my friends bc privacy reasons) who complained about hanging out with nerds, got into a fistfight with someone else on his football team bc they called us nerds, was thoroughly convinced he'd run laps faster if he was hopped up on pixie stix (i held his backback while he got sick in the bathroom👍👍), he tried to hit on my older sister and she laughed at him, he was so put out he contemplated becoming a monk for a week

Wes: Max, who i helped sneak an entire bottle of orange juice on to the bus to our choir competition, but was unaware he brought a full bottle of vodka as well, ended up crying on our choir teacher for the three hours after the comp and i bought him a box of donuts after school, he did not stop doing this and had severe beef with a kid he knew in 5th grade and hadnt seen since but also hadnt forgotten their name and last i knew, was still awaiting for a dreaded confrontation to eventually come

Kip: Eduardo, who we all thought was studying during lunch but was actually filling his notebook with weird facts he observed about us and also managed to chew several packs of gum at once throughout our math class before the teacher noticed him, didnt know the plot to the clockwork orange so i lied about it for 5 weeks before he read it and called me just to tell me "you lying frog" befire he hung up

Ali: Ángel, who lied several times on separate occasions to the campus security about where people smoked, forgot what chihuahuas were twice, and almost drowned when he was swimming except his older brother got him and he immediately called me while waiting for the ambulance to tell me he almost fucking died, randomly sang a song about crabs he made up throughout the day

Danny: Ben, helped me with my biology homework because i helped him with essays, once released a live rat into the computer classroom because he had beef with the teacher, once texted me at 11 p.m. because he was having a mental breakdown over his chem work before he realized he was actually looking at trig and i told him id shoot him with a tranq gun if he woke me up like this again, kept forgetting how to tie his shoes

Tim: Teddy, he catfished 6 men over the age of 30 by pretending to be a 13 yr old girl and lured them to the part of town where there is an absurd amount of wild dogs that evade animal control and are known to maul humans, i watched him lockpick the english teacher's door so he could take back an essay he wrote bc it was actually a slash fic he printed out and turned in by accident, we hung out at a dennys once and he accidentally put his hand in syrup, looked me dead in the eye and said "i did that bc im gay" and wore pastel pink for a month bc it pissed off the hall monitor, his dad, and also six teachers he didnt even have class with

[octuscle]

My boss has been giving me shit ever since I got this job. If I could just put him in his place for one day…

Your boss's day is off to a great start. Power cut. And the Tesla is not charged. The only way to get to the office is by bus and suburban train. He hates public transport. But what should he do? At the bus stop, he pulls out his cell phone to buy his ticket. All around him are schoolchildren and wetbacks on their way to work. Damn, did he pocket the cell phone of his cleaning lady from Colombia? All in Spanish. And the phone far from his own brand new show-off model. And already has a few scratches too... Maldita sea! Why can't he buy a ticket now? Tarjeta bloqueada. That's all he needs. His not-so-clean trousers hang low on his narrow hips. The waistband of his fake Calvin Klein briefs is clearly visible. When the bus arrives, he rummages in his deep trouser pockets for a few dollars. Just enough to buy a ticket.

When your boss changes trains, he realizes that his briefcase is gone. Where the hell did the hip bag come from instead? He looks inside. Tobacco, cigarette papers, a few crumpled dollar bills, some weed. And condoms. Lots and lots of condoms. His gaze falls on his reflection in the window pane. Mierda, soy un espalda mojada. ¡Un sucio y apestoso espalda mojada! Instead of his spotless white shirt, he wears a dirty wifebeater. And the jacket has become a sleeveless open plaid shirt. Not entirely clean either. His feet are in dirty biker boots. A couple of silver chains around his neck. Shit, something's not going well. When he arrives at the station, he walks towards the toilets. He needs a mirror. Sporty and dynamic, he jumps over the turnstile at the entrance. He has no more money to use the toilets. There are the mirrors. And that's no longer your boss. Okay, the other hustlers at the station all call Juan "jefe" because he has the biggest cock. But apart from that, he's nothing but a well-trained wetback hustler.

One of the other hustlers comes up to jefe and asks for a fag. Juan panics. Should he be nice to the scum? Juan will probably need help. On the other hand, the mere presence of this gay trash makes him nauseous. At least he speaks English. Juan decides to be friendly. And he tries to reply that they can share a fag. He replies in broken English with a heavy Spanish accent. The other hustler thanks him with a fist bump. He doesn't seem surprised by the language. Juan builds a cigarette, takes a first drag and passes the fag on. While they smoke in a corner of the train toilet, a punter wanders around them. Juan doesn't think much about it. He needs money. And it can't get much worse than this. His eyes and those of the punter meet. The rest happens without a word. A few minutes later, Juan kneels on the piss-strewn floor of the toilet and swallows the cum of a strange man. And he's a pro, he gets a hard-on even though the punter is rather disgusting.

It gets quieter from 10:00 onwards. The rush hour is over. There's nothing to do at the station until 16:00. Juan counts his takings. 120 dollars. Not bad. He joins the other hustlers at the kiosk in front of the station, smokes a cigarette and drinks a beer. He needs to get rid of that damn taste of cum from old fat white men. Then Juan has to go to the wholesale market and clean the market halls. He's definitely no longer the boss here. The job is also badly paid, but he has to prove he has a regular job so as not to lose his residence permit. And there are showers for the employees. If he goes back to the station sweaty and dirty, he can forget about good sales.

Juan is just getting out of the shower when a regular customer contacts him via Facetime. He asks how his favorite slut is doing. Juan poses a little in front of the cell phone camera. He doesn't understand English very well, but he knows that his customer gets horny when he shows off his hairy armpits. And the customer pays well. Most of the time, Juan even gets a bit to eat. And if he's lucky, he can even spend the night with the client and doesn't have to go to the dirty dormitory where Juan has currently rented a bed. But if he's not lucky, at least he knows where his place is.

Pic of your jefe found @marechais 

[missmastectomy]

This is a vent post more than anything, but honestly? Despite the lip service I see a lot of gender criticals give to detransitioners, ime the Average Joe is a lot more likely to sympathize with detransitioners and to see us as fully fledged human beings. People who don’t know anything about the trans discourse aren’t ideologically involved and they’re more likely to approach us individuals first.

I’ve noticed a LOT of gender criticals and radfems basically view detrans women as “traitors” and assume the absolute worst about our motivations. I have literally seen radfems say shit like “well, I could never trust a detrans woman because she transitioned because she hates women and secretly wants to dominate me/rape me/enact misogyny on me,” radfems acting like transition ruins a person and that it’s impossible to ever come back from that. As if there aren’t literally women who used to hold all kinds of problematic/misogynistic beliefs who eventually snapped out of it.

For all the talk about how women need only be biologically female to be women, I’m convinced a lot of the most adamant GCs don’t see us as women. They literally just see us as gender freaks. They have this image in their mind of us as this weird in-between female, separate from the real women.

It’s so incredibly insulting. These people have a caricature of detrans women in their head. I highly doubt most have ever even met a detrans woman irl. It’s so stupid because most detrans women are very clearly female after they’ve been off hormones a few years. I’ve literally known women who were on hormones for years and I had no idea because they sound and look typical. Like, when I first detransitioned a lot of people thought I was male, but now I am gendered female and deal with the same shit as any other woman. And no, not every detrans woman will be able or want to assimilate back into her birth sex, but that still doesn’t take away from her status as a woman.

Detransitioners have literally gone through hell. Where the fuck is all this righteous indignation y’all level at these endos prescribing kids HRT, when you actually talk to someone who went through that? Fuck any GC who treats detransitioners like trash because you lack the basic human empathy to understand that what we went through was abuse. Most detransitioners nowadays started transitioning as children. CHILDREN. Kids who were traumatized, who had already been violated or neglected in some way. We were the ones who got swept up in a massive social experiment and we payed the price for it.

Some of y’all are repulsive. We are human beings, not pawns in your culture war. I see the same crap leveled at detransitioned men, too. Not every detransitioned man was an AGP fetishist that abused women ffs. I also know men who were gay or experienced CSA and ended up pushed into transition as kids. The way people talk to detransitioners and our bodies is disgusting. People calling Jazz Jenning’s SRS shit like a “festering, non-functional fuck hole.” What the fuck is wrong you, that was literally a teenager who was groomed into this is as a 6 year old.

At the end of the day detransitioners cannot rely on other groups, only on individual allies and ourselves. I am thankful for the feminists and GCs who sincerely care about we went through and want justice for people harmed by transition. The rest of you can piss off. Go find another toy to chew on.

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#353

“Hey Jimmy.  So you came out to you mamma, hunh?  Yeah, she made a bee line to your Aunt Stacy.  The two of them are going on and on together about how your life is ruined and how she should have raised you different and other bullshit.  So much crying, I had to get out of the house.  As I was leaving your mamma asked me to come by to get some of her things as she’s probably going to stay with your Aunt Stacy and me for a few days.  Fucking great.  My place is going to be filled with so much sister talk I don’t know how I’m going to put up with it.  I know one way is… Jimmy, get over here and give your Uncle Lee a blowjob….

“I’m fucking serious.  Your mamma and aunt may not know what to do with a gay son, but I know exactly what to do with a fag nephew.  Get naked and on your knees in front of me….  Damn boy!  That was fast.  It’s like you are hungry for cock.  Well, I got seven-and-a-half inches that has used hundreds of faggots throughout my life. 

“Oh man, does your mouth feel good….  Jesus fuck!  You know how to throat a cock.  Where the fuck does a nineteen-year-old learn to do that?...  Don’t talk with your mouth full.  We’ll have plenty of time for that.

“Get your hands off your dick.  Your focus should be on the cock in your throat, not the one in your hand.  In fact, use both hands to grab my ass.

“Fuck yeah.  You have a talented throat.  I’m getting close.  I’m taking over this blowjob.  Get air however you can.  I’m gonna cum.  I’m gonna fucking cum faggot.  That throat is going to be flooded.  Here it cums.  Ahh.  Ahh.  Ahhhhhh.  Fuck yeah.

“That’s it boy, try to suck out the last drop.  Oh man.  You fucking cum whore. 

“Where the fuck did you learn to suck like that?...  In the bathrooms at the University?  That’s still a thing?  Years ago, I used to go there to get my dick sucked or fuck a boy’s ass.  I thought they redesigned it to discourage activity.  I guess they failed.  Who goes there?... Other students?...  Any fucking going on?...  Yeah it’s not set up for that…. 

“Go get me a beer….  No, no.  Leave your clothes on the floor.  You should be kept naked.

“Damn!  That is one nice ass.  Have you been fucked in your cunt?...  Too bad.  I would have loved to have popped that cherry so fast.  I’ll be raping it a bit later.

“Nice and cold beer always tastes good after shooting a wad.  Have a seat….  What the fuck are you doing?  You sit on the floor like a faggot should.  In fact, sit in front of my boots.  They are in need of a spit shine.  Start licking.

“…Now, really where the fuck did you learn all this?  I have been calling you a fag or faggot a number of times, and you don’t flinch.  You deep throat a cock without much resistance.  You take a skull fuck without a problem.  You follow orders, like leaving your pecker alone without pushback.  Hell, I have you kneeling licking my boots buck naked in your own home, and this is all very natural to you.

“No university bathroom blowjob is going to train you on servicing a man.  Where did you learn this?...  Videos from the internet?  Are you kidding me?  Have you ever serviced a man, not some other student?...

“A few.  They ever get rough with you, or treat you like the faggot you are?...  Didn’t think so.  Natural faggots—like yourself, looking to service men the way the men want—are as hard to find as the men who need that level of service. 

“Lean back on your heels.  Spread your knees.  Your pecker is rock hard, and it’s leaking.  You want this?  You want to be treated like a faggot?  I’m not referring to being gay.  Faggots are tools who exist to service men.  You’ll be used by men, real men, any way they want, usually without asking your permission. 

“Don’t you fucking touch your dick.  Put your hands behind your back.  I can see you are about to explode and this is what I want.

“You ever eat ass?... Drink piss?...  Good, I got two cherries to pop with you.  Yes, you will get nasty.  Faggots live to be nasty.  You’ll love sticking your tongue inside my shithole.  You will clean up my ass without ever complaining.

“I can see the disgust in your eyes, but I also see the curiosity.  Faggot you are so easy to read.  There’s so much lust in your eyes.  You really crave this. 

“Lean forward.  Now you say, ‘Thank you SIR’ whenever a man slaps you across…  Jesus fuck!  You are fucking cumming?  Fuck yeah fag!...  Shoot on my boots….  Hell the fuck yeah….

“Damn, faggot.  Hands free. That was impressive.  Now clean up your mess.

“Oh man.  When I came over here, I was expecting just a blowjob.  I got a full faggot, somewhat inexperienced, but I’ll gladly take that.

“This is what is going to happen.  I’m taking ownership of you.  I’ll decide what’s best for you.  You are going to pack up some things, and you are coming back with me to the shop.  There’s a small apartment above the main office.  I sometimes crash there; I’ll fuck fags up there.  You’ll move in.  It’s perfect.  My guys will be happy that I have a resident faggot to take care of their needs.  Adam and Jose will most likely be blowjobs or the occasional fuck.  Tyson and Brick will require more service.  Brick will probably bring you with him when he goes on his weekend runs.  You’ll be gang banged by a bunch of bikers, but he’s very protective and will look out for you.  You are going to be whored out.  Literally.  I will be making money off of the men I will send up to you.  Many of the bikers don’t have much to do when they come into the shop for service to their motorcycles. 

“What’s your major at the university?... Undecided?  Well, I decided you will major in accounting. That'll help with me with running the shop.

“You’ll bring very little of your shit from here.  I’ll provide most of what you need.  You can leave the rest of your shit here.  Your mamma will be glad that you are gone.  Your aunt will be happy that I will offer you a job.  She’ll think that I am helping you with your future.  In a way I am.

“Your days will be filled with servicing real men, submitting to them, at times suffering for them, and ultimately sacrificing for them.  You want to do this?  You want this as your life?  This is the only time I will ask this of you.  After this moment, I am in control.

“Good boy.  I got to take one hell of a piss, and I have a virgin kneeling in front of me.  I’m going to take it slow, but eventually you will be drinking it at a natural flow.  Nasty tasting hunh?  You’ll learn to love it.  If not, that’s not my problem.

“Oh fuck, that cunt is sticking out just waiting to be raped.  I hope you are cleaned out back there.  If not, your mouth will be taking over. 

“Faggot, you are a true natural for this.”

[charlotte-buff]

The term “queerbaiting” has lost all meaning

I’ve been scrolling through the Buddy Daddies tag again for hours on end, as one does, and while this is thankfully a minority opinion I still saw it crop up often enough that it’s starting to piss me off.

The insinuation that two men living together for 14 years, caring for each other, Kazuki selflessly bathing Rei, cooking for him, and cleaning his apartment at the lowest point of both their lives, adopting and raising a child together, Rei sleeping comfortably for the first time in his life when it’s in the same bed with his partner and daughter, literally taking on a massive crime syndicate on their own to protect their found family, Rei permanently disabling himself by shooting his own dominant arm point blank just so he can leave his old life behind and stay with Kazuki and Miri, with whom he shares a bond that is – and I quote – stronger than blood...

That all of that is supposed to add up to nothing more than “bait” or “gay subtext”, it honestly makes me angry. This is one of the queerest fucking stories that has ever come out of the anime industry but somehow it’s not “gay enough” for some people just because there was no on-screen kissing.

What do you people actually want!?

[roguekhajiit]

TW: Transphobia

I had my first ever encounter with a transphobic member of the LGBTQ community this week.

At work on Monday, I overheard some co-workers discussing Transgender Day of Visibility and how President Biden issued a statement acknowledging Trans Day. Since it just so happened to occur on the same day as Easter this year, my very close-minded co-workers took that and Biden's statement as evidence that Trans people are trying to take over Easter!

Now, I consider myself to be Non-binary (specifically Demi-girl/Agender), but I tend to fly under the radar, which is very helpful since I live in a very, very red state. It doesn't hurt that my normal sense of personal style is very casual and all black. So, I can wear traditionally "men's" pants, and no one pays much attention to me, which is the way I prefer it. I hate anything that draws attention to myself.

So, I bit my tongue and hyperfocused on my work. Then, when I went home, the non-binary gremlin in me just couldn't be contained anymore; I opened Reddit and made a post about how no one is going around trying to steal stolen holidays.

Now, I was fully anticipating pissed off Christians to rain their uninhibited fake outrage down onto the comment section (which happened) but I wasn't anticipating a self-identified 60 yr old gay man to come into my comments saying things like, "Why would you put a Trans holiday anywhere near a religious holiday knowing every seven years it's gonna land on said holiday" and "As a gay man I believe that the one part of our community is stifling the rest of us."

Tell me you're transphobic without telling me you're transphobic.

Now, since I can't just ignore the sheer inaccuracy of his math; according to Google from 2001 to 2100, Easter will only land on March 31st 5 times. Five times in an entire century. The last time Easter was on March 31st, it was 2013. So, 11 years ago, or over a decade ago. No one gave a shit in 2013 that Easter and Trans Day were on the same day. But let the president acknowledge it in a statement and everyone loses their fucking minds.

So, why would you avoid celebrating something important in your life on the off chance that it might coincide with someone's religious holiday? Of course, you wouldn't. If your birthday is on Christmas, do you no longer have a birthday?

"Next, why wouldn't you place it in the month of pride then each day of pride month could have a different day celebrating each letter of the lbgtq+ community."

Yes, that is what Pride Month is for, celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community. But are you gay only in June?

But sadly, even some in our diverse community isolate and vilify trans individuals just like what this old gay dinosaur is doing. For 15 years, a vast majority didn't know or even give a shit that Trans Day existed. That is until a president acknowledged it.

"May I point out there's no gay holidays that coincide with Yom kipper or Ramadan."

True, Yom Kippur and Ramadan don't coincide with any "gay holidays," but Shavout is directly in the middle of Pride Month. Any outrage there?

"So just piss off the Christian's so they have one more thing to hate us for. I find many in our community asking for acceptance while giving none, just my opinion and nothing more."

How very accepting of you to say, my lord.

"Maybe it's time we all in the gay community and cis people give the whole year to the Trans community."

But they aren't asking for the year, or even a month. They just want one day that is their own. And even members of our own LGBTQ+ community can't even give them that.

"I'm gay so I can't be transphobic."

Your statements say otherwise. Just because you're gay doesn't mean you are absolved of your transphobia.

Perhaps it's time we stop placating these dusty ass old gay dinosaurs and call them out on their hateful thinking. Their "I got mine" attitude only harms our communities. Just because you won the fight for same sex marriage doesn't mean you're safe. The fight for equality is never-ending.

More and more of us are having our rights stripped away right before our very eyes. Roe v. Wade has already been overturned, and they aren't going to stop there. They never planned to stop there. They are very methodically chipping away at our rights. Right now, they are focusing their efforts on the trans community, slowly outlawing their very existence. And while they have you distracted by that, they are quietly overturning same sex marriage laws. Your rights aren't safe and never will be safe as long as we have members in our communities who subscribe to this kind of thinking.

[archangeldyke-all]

I feel like if Vika had a baby she wouldn’t baby talk and have full on conversations with them. Like she’ll tell the baby how whiskey prices went up and how “fucking stupid” it is, or she’ll talk about some new kid at her job and how “the fucker” can’t do anything right LMAO

sugar u r the smartest person i know

men and minors dni

you and everyone who meets the baby talk to her like anybody talks to a baby, cooing and exaggerating and using an exaggerated baby voice.

your typical conversations with your kid for the first year of her life go something like 'awe, do you have a poopy? sweet baby made a big poopy.' or 'can you say: mama? mmmma mmmma?'

sevika, however, talks to your kid like she's an old friend.

you'll catch her feeding your daughter baby food, scooping up the goop that falls down onto her chin as she chats. "fuckin' silco was gettin' on my last nerve today. would you be pissed if we revoked his 'godfather' status? i know he spoils you, but i think we could find a suitable replacement, someone who doesn't have their head stuck up their ass. he thinks he runs the fuckin' place, he forgets we're co-owners. co. that means both. you're so lucky you don't have to work, you know that? you've got it made, kid, shit, you don't even have to feed yourself."

or, after you've had a long day at home with the little fucker, who's been screaming her head off and refusing to latch onto your tits to drink, you overhear sevika talking to her as she gently dances her around the living room. "you gotta give your mom a break, kid. i know you're probably sicka breast milk, but it's important you drink it, it's got all kindsa good shit in it that'll make you strong. like this, see?" she asks as she flexes the arm not holding your daughter. "keep drinkin' your milk and you'll be as strong as me in no time. well, you'll have to have a pretty strict workout regiment too, it's not all genetic. though, don't tell your mom, but i'm glad you've got my build-- she's a little wimp. you're strong like me. she hates it 'cause you came out so big 'n tore her pussy apart comin' out but i think it's great. you'll be a great athlete once you figure out the whole walkin' thing..."

or at bathtime, while she's got your baby in the sink, gently shampooing the two or three hairs on her head, you're guaranteed to find her catching your daughter up on the latest drama on the soap opera she swears she doesn't watch. "i know, it's fuckin' crazy! but, then, get this, molly, the homewrecker from season three? she shows up pregnant, swearing it's travis' kid! mind you, this is all at a funeral-- at shepard's funeral!" your daughter coos. "oh, shepard's the one who came out gay in season four but then decided to marry miriam in season five, because she needed her greencard." your daughter coos again, and sevika takes this as understanding. "right, you remember. anyways this pregnant bitch molly comes marching in while we're all crying because shep's dead, and she's like 'everybody look at me and my big fat belly!' turns out? she's stuffing her stomach with blankets..."

the funniest thing is that your daughter seems to understand it all, blinking up at sevika with big, interested eyes, absorbing her every word, cooing when she's silent, like she's responding to sevika's commentary.

after a while, it starts to rub off on you, and pretty soon, both you and sevika are talking to your little girl like she's an adult.

it's all fun and games until she starts talking, and her first words are 'fuck' and 'mama' and 'dickhead' and 'milk'

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for shit talking a mutual friend to my friend and his girlfriend 

(🌧️🐾 for finding later)

I (18 nb) used to be best friends with Macy (19 f). We were incredibly close sense I was 5. Near the end of middle school I came out as bisexual and then as trans. She was totally fine with gay men (she loved rpf) so i figured it would be fine. She said she was ok with it but she would constantly tell me to tone it down, and would get uncomfortable when i had a crush on a girl. Finally after a year of her being vaguely homophobic, Macy said that lesbian relationships were disgusting. it was kind of my oh moment where i realized we couldn’t be friends anymore.

After that I met my other best friends May (19 f) and Will (18 m) and love them dearly. Macy did leave me with insecurities about my sexuality, and for a while i wasnt completely myself around May because she is straight. she told me off and she has been an awesome example as to what healthy friendships look like. 

Now to the part where i was kind of a dick. As i’ve grown into my self so has Macy. she’s an evangelical christian now. My old friends are still friends with her which im fine with. I was hanging out with my friend Evan (18 m) and his girlfriend (17 nb). They started talking about how it’s so crazy that she’s an evangelical who doesn’t care that her friends are gay. I made a face, and told them about my experience with her. They both got pissed at me and said I was being stupid and that she had changed, that i was butthurt about it, and was being mean. They also implied that I was over exaggerating how Macy acted towards me. I just stayed quiet after that but the vibes were wrong for the rest of the hang out. 

I know i am not the asshole for not being friends with Macy anymore (thank you May for teaching me that). But i told Evan and his girlfriend about how she treated me not for any productive reason, but because it pissed me off that they were saying how nice towards gay people she was. That’s really where i think i may have been an asshole, i talked shit because I was pissed about their perception of her, or at least get them to know that she wasn’t always like that. 

aita?