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bulldagger-bait · 5 days

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When it comes to hygiene tasks and self care with disability and chronic illness, its pretty much a constant case of: don't let perfect be the enemy of the good.

Basically: it's better to do something, than to do nothing at all.

TLDR: Just because you can't do something "properly" doesn't mean you shouldn't do it at all. Do it half-way. Do it shitty. Do it barely. Do it on a technicality. But do what you can. Just try, because doing something will help you.

If you don't have the energy to scrub your body with a sponge, just rub soap over your skin with your hands.

If you don't have the energy to wash your whole body with soap, just hit the places where sweat accumulates, or where you're smelliest.

If you don't have the energy to wash with soap AT ALL, just sitting in water is better than nothing. It will wash away dirt and oils.

If you can't bathe or shower at all, a warm wash cloth is your new best friend. If that's too much, then try bath wipes. They're a bit bigger than regular wet wipes, and a bit more heavy duty. They're designed to help keep bed ridden patients clean in hospitals.

If you don't have the energy to dry yourself after a bath or a shower, just put on a bathrobe and get into bed. If you don't have the energy to get dressed afterwards, just don't. It can wait until you can.

If you don't have energy to brush your teeth for two minutes, honestly, just a cursory scrub is better than not doing anything.

If you can't brush your teeth twice a day, brush in the evenings. It will help take away the build up of food from the day.

If you don't have the energy to brush AT ALL, honestly, just take a cloth and wipe the plaque off your teeth. Rinse with mouth wash after if you'd like. Something is always better than nothing.

If you can't floss twice a day. Try once. If that's too much, try a few times a week. If that's too much, try setting aside a day once a week as a goal. If you can't keep a schedule, do it when you're able to. Hell, I keep some floss next to my bed so that if I forget and don't have the energy to go get it, I can just reach over.

If you can't iron your clothes, don't bother. Wrinkles are fine. Wear jumpers over wrinkly t-shirts. No one will know, and honestly, most people won't even care. If it's really wrinkly and it's A Big Deal And It Needs To Be Ironed, here's my life hack. Step 1: take a spray bottle, and spritz the item of clothing (while you're wearing it is easiest) until it's lightly damp. Step 2: use a hair-dryer on the clothes until they're dry. It gets rid of creases like nobody's business, it's easier than lugging out the iron and ironing board, and you get to have nice toasty warm clothes afterwards.

If you can't fold your clothes, try just hanging them up. It's less commitment. It's quicker to do. Granted, you need to have the space in order to do this, but it is also good at helping you downsize, and lets you visualise exactly what you have.

If you can't put your clothes away, invest in a couple of laundry baskets, and then just keep your clean clothes in the baskets. You can then separate washed clothes into underwear, pants, and shirts baskets. You can just leave them like that. I'm giving you permission to never fold your laundry again if you can't. Just leave it unfolded. Who's going to care? Something is better than nothing. If you can, try to put those baskets into your closet so that you can keep the clutter out of sight, and give yourself a more restful environment.

If you can't separate your clothing out into different categories and wash them "properly" (whites, warm tones, cool tones, darks, delicates / switching between hot & cold washes / paying attention to laundry instructions on the label) then just don't worry about it. If you cold wash your clothes, colours won't bleed. Maybe gradually over the course of dozens of washes there'll be some changes in hue, but it's really not as high stakes as the One Red Sock In The Whites Turns Them Pink trope makes it out to be.

I've pretty much come to the point in my life where if a piece of clothing can't survive the washer and dryer, then it's just not meant to be. I colour separate my clothes, and if I have the energy/remember I'll take my bras and jumpers out of the washing machine to drip dry. But otherwise, I leave it to the universe.

If you can't separate out your recycling, then don't. If you have a large amount of rubbish you need to get rid of but the idea of separating it out properly is stopping you from doing so, then just don't worry about it. I know it's not ideal, but if you have garbage in your room/house and you need to get rid of it, please just get rid of it. Don't let the problem get bigger and harder to deal with. Don't let "doing something properly" get in the way of keeping your living spaces clean. Please. Give yourself understanding.

If you can't wash your dishes, get paper plates. Obviously, it's not ideal, but it is better that you eat food than skipping meals. It is better that you have a clean kitchen, rather than having dishes piling up and making it harder to look after yourself.

If you can't prepare meals for yourself keep making the tasks easier and easier. If you can't do recipes, then simplify. Use pasta sauce from the jar instead of making it. Eat canned soup. Buy food you can just stick in the oven. If you eat fish fingers and microwave veggies every night, it's better than not eating anything at all. It's better than having to fork out money on take-out. If you need ready-made meals, then get them. If you're literally just eating a raw cauliflower for dinner; 1) I see you, 2) me too, sis, 3) something is better than nothing.

These are the basic things you need to do every day to function as a person. They are your activities of daily living. Brushing your teeth. Bathing or showering. Using the bathroom. Getting dressed. Eating. Drinking. Sleeping. Keeping your environment clean. You don't need to do these things perfectly, but they need to happen in order for you to have a decent quality of life.

And it breaks my heart, because I know that so many disabled people can't do these things every day. I'm not saying this to guilt or judge, I'm saying that these are basic needs; you deserve these things. These things bring dignity. If a disabled person is unable to do these things, it diminishes their quality of life. It robs them of dignity.

If you need help to do these things, Its okay to ask for help. It's okay to need help. But if you can't get that help and you have to do these things by yourself -- or you just plain want to be independent and do it without help-- then don't hold yourself to standards you can't meet.

Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Even if it's not perfect. Even if it's not done well. Do what you can.

#lord knows that im still trying to pull myself out of the muck and into independence and dignity #i had to set a rule for myself that i need to wear clean clothes every day. and that i need to wear pyjamas to bed #that one's been hard. sometimes I dont have the energy to do it and i just stay in the same clothes for two days at a time #or i go to sleep in what i was wearing. but when i do follow that rule my quality of life is drastically better #not feeling dirty or gross goes a long way to making you feel more like a person #i also made a rule that im not allowing myself to look frumpy outside anymore. that means clothes that look nice #no more trackies and pj pants and all that stuff. i basically lived in perpetual pyjamas for four years and im over it #i still dress comfortably but the important thing is that i dress. i look put together. i wear things that make me happy #(and i didnt need to buy anything to do so. i just needed to start taking better care of myself)#and i stopped letting perfect be the enemy of the good. i started doing things shitty rather than not doing it at all #and the more i keep pushing with my ADLs the better i feel #what helps is now i dont have to contend with stairs and that has made a dramatic change to what im able to accomplish #ive also finally built up enough strength in my body that im able to go to the shops by myself. so i can buy things to make easy meals #and mum doesnt mind if i just put some things in the oven or air fryer for us for dinner.#i still cant really cook. i felt bad about that for the longest time. i didnt even try bc i knew what id make would be disappointing #or it wouldnt be up to the standards of what everyone else was making. i was so sick of feeling like a let down all the time.#now i just make what i can and my mum doesnt complain bc shes in the same boat.#and yeah. having help would be nice. it would mean id be able to do more than what i can do by myself.#and its great to see how far ive come. but im not a burden. and when i have the accommodations i need i can do a lot more #i do something rather than nothing and my life has dramatically changed since then. ive just gotten better and better.#chronic illness #disability #chronic pain #spoonie #one things for certain and thats that im never going to let myself rely on anyone else ever again.#i never want to be on the other side of that ever again. I don't want to be anyone's burden. i dont want that hanging over me #i do things by myself or i dont do them at all. and god fucking willing i'll never go back to needing as much help as i used to #i really didnt realise just how much of an obstacle living with stairs was in my life. it was the biggest barrier against everything #stairs stopped me from being independent. if i couldnt traverse them i just didnt go anywhere. my world shrank so much #and not having the proper wheelchair shrinks my world even more. im stronger than i used to be but im still severely limited in where i go

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kyouka-supremacy · 2 years

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Uhm

#I'm feeling like trash physically I really don't know what to do???#I have been struggling so much with eating recently but I thought it was normal because of the upcoming exam y'know?#Well yesterday I took the exam and yet the problem??? Didn't magically disappear like I thought??? And now I feel so betrayed??????#Yesterday I got takeaway at my favorite Chinese restaurant and that's a cup of noodles and eight dumplings #that's my usual order I always take‚ normally that's one meal #This time it took me?? Three meals to finish it??? Because after a while I just feel too nauseous to keep eating????????#So like. something is wrong™ but I really have no clue what it is or how to fix it...#Plus the entire day I've felt like crying for. no reason lmao. I'm literally crying right now and I have no idea why is that #I can't reason anything that is making me upset currently? So I'm there mentally looking at myself like *awkward monkey meme*#And my head hurts. Like something is wrong but I really can't tell what it is nnnggghhhh this is. not optimal #The worst part is that I feel so nauseous I can't imagine bringing myself to cook because cooking is already a tool alone #and now I'm also supposed to cook when I don't want to eat???? Like how can I convince myself to do that #But obviously I can't stop eating. Alas I STRUGGLE. The food in the fridge is going bad 😭😭😭#I made sure to change air in my room and I took a shower today so. I don't know what could be causing it really #Anyways if anyone can advice on eating when the thought of eating alone makes you feel nauseous I'll gratefully take it 😭😭#Not even snacks work btw I was eating nutella and pandoro and who wouldn't love nutella and pandoro #and yet I felt like gagging the whole time... Ugh #The actual worst part is that like this I don't have the strength to study but I really need to study for this huge exam the 14th #random rambles #eating disoder trigger warning #Why is that the recommend tag?? It's missing an r bestie????#eating disorder trigger warning #eating disorder tw #←← That makes it sound bigger than what it is please don't worry about me it's just a temporary issue!!#Using the tags just in case for blacklisting purposes

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werehamburglar · 2 months

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man, i ran to the bus the other day, and FIRST OF ALL. i couldn't run all the way. so jot that down. it was a block and a half away and i couldn't run all the way. three minute fucking walk. and then i ended up panting for eight minutes and coughing for thirty. the entire fucking bus ride. like some sort of sick freak. and i was sitting there, looking up WHY IS MY ARM NUMB. WHY DOES MY SHOULDER BLADE HURT WHEN I RUN. ONLY WHEN I RUN. HI HELLO. I CAN'T STOP COUGHING. HELLO ANSWERS PLEASE. IT HURTS UNDER THE SHOULDERBLADE<3 COUGH COUGH. anyway that's why i stopped running in my senior year. my band director and i were both fed up of me hacking up a lung all practice long because i ran during our warmup. and i forgot i can't run anymore. because i was going to be late for the bus. and then the BUS WAS FUCKING LATE ANYWAY. hell on earth

#this is the one i asked him about actually #i was like... hey man #i know it's super important for me to build up endurance and cardiovascular strength so we know i can make it through the show all the way #but hey. listen. i can not breathe when i run. i can't breathe after i run. i end up wheezing. it hurts my whole right arm and side.#seven and a half minutes is unmanageable. and we both know im not asthmatic. i used to jog. you've seen me. i can march the show.#please don't make me run. im so tired of being in pain and coughing for so long during and after. please.#i am not asthmatic. i don't know what's wrong. it's like i stopped being able to? that cough i stayed home about never got better? i can't #play if im coughing. i promise im trying my hardest even if it doesn't look like it. im trying so so hard. i swear.#and he was like... you didn't have to say all that. you can speedwalk it.#now... it was everyone ELSE who was fucking WEIRD ABOUT IT #like... KIMMIE. YOU FAT FUCK. WHY ARE YOU WALKING.#and every fucking day (i mean it. every day) i had to go 'im allowed to walk. i promise. im sorry. maybe i'll run next time if i can'#like i don't doubt that they thought i was making excuses. but now i know at least three of them know i wasn't lol.

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chososdiscordkitten · 7 months

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Just A Taste.

Synopsis: Gojo wants to taste readers breast milk •⩊•

Pairing: Gojo xFem!Reader Content: some plot, mostly nasty stuff, no penetrative sex, nursing handjob, ADULT NURSING, he tries to convince reader to let him suck a lil sum, gojo being weird, mentions he didn't have a mom, BREASTFEEDING, mommy kink if you squint, PREGNANCY KINK, whiny satoru, overall just a lot of nipple and breast play

Dedicated to: @busyreader17 , my beloved for hyping me up to write this, ty<;33

(a.n) why do I only ever write about gojo being a pregnancy freak? has to be studied. wrote this listening to very dramatic classical music

MDNI

Gojo has always been hard headed, never thinking twice on talking back or starting an argument just to prove he was right. And that little quirk about him only enhanced when his child was born.

Even if you were the one who spent countless hours in the emergency room trying to give birth to his big headed child- Satoru insisted that he knew best for his offspring. And in extension- he knew what was best for you.

“Formula isn't good enough for my child.” he retorted when you mentioned how painful it was to breastfeed his gnawing child.

And when you'd bring up that you were ready to start working again- “You don't have to work- that's why you have me.”

Little by little Gojo started dictating most of the aspects of your life. There was little to no resistance from you though- you didn't mind his overbearing fatherly tendencies when it came to protecting his family.

But there was one thing, just one thing you'd complain about if you could.

As stubborn as Satoru was in day to day life- he was equally, if not more stubborn in bed. Especially in one specific area.

Gojo begged. Begged on his knees as he watched you pump. Sitting on the couch and bouncing your knee as his hands held onto your calf, “I just want to taste-” he pouted, eyebrows pinched upwards.

“Satoru.” you gritted through your teeth- hearing the whirr of the machine on your chest. He sighed as he placed his forehead to your knee, mumbling something about how mean you were to him.

This newfound need to taste the milk from your breasts was mildly irritating, not being able to take your shirt off without his eyes prying- parting his lips before asking again.

Satoru would be lying if he said that anytime your breasts would leak against his chest midway through fucking- it didn’t take every ounce of strength he had to not trail his lips down to your puffy nipple.

So, so, very tempting. But he'd refrain from acting on his urges, knowing you'd probably shake him off or tell him to stop completely. So instead of doing it without your permission, he settled on asking you anytime he could.

At first you thought this was just him wanting to know what it tasted like, but when you offered him a small sip from a cup he said- “If i'm gonna drink it, I want it straight from the source.” to which you said, “I guess you're never gonna taste it then.” before tossing the small sip down the sink.

He must've asked 3 times a day. Gojo needed it so bad- he would beg on his knees at your feet, looking up at you like an abused puppy that you were being far too cruel to.

And you always said no.

But, your objections sounded like ‘maybe one day’ to his ears.

So one very early morning, 4 maybe 5 am- you were standing at the kitchen counter, holding the little pumping machine to your right breast as your face churned with a grimace. Your nipples were sore, from the machine sucking harshly and from how often you had to do it.

You had just started filling one of the little bottles, and as though Gojo knew what you were doing, he walked in. Squinting at you, almost asking what you were doing at this hour- till his eyes landed on your breasts you didn't bother to cover. “Go back to sleep, I'll be done soon.” you muttered in a groggy voice as the whirring woke Satoru up from the hazy state he was in.

He took a few steps towards you- resting his elbows on the counter as he watched the machine milk you. Jealous that a stupid machine had the right to and he didn't.

The sun not even breaching the skyline made the room dim and dusky.

You didn't mind if he watched- but that's all you'd ever grant him. But directly after sex- when his chest would be drippng with the light cream colored liquid that leaked from your breasts while he fucked you- and as he looked down to his sculped body in the bathroom, the sink running on a hand towel as you waited for him to come back to help clean you up.

His fingers couldn't help but swipe at the liquid before placing it on his tongue. The whisper of your taste on his tongue made one thing clear in his mind. If he couldn’t wrap his lips around your nipple and suck till there was nothing left- if you wouldn’t grant him that one favor, the closest thing he had was to fuck you in missionary from now on. Hoping one day he would ask you mid way through- and you’d be too fucked out to say anything but yes.

True if he really wanted to taste you- he could just reach into the freezer and thaw a bag of the pumped milk to try it. But he didn't just want to taste it- he wanted to feel it fill his mouth directly from the source. How warm it would be as it slid down his throat. And god- from the small tastes he's gotten, it's so sweet. You taste so fucking sweet.

His eyes watched as the plastic bottle filled up with milk, almost hypnotized by the liquid. You winced as the machine sucked at your sore nipple, which only made the cogs in Satoru’s brain start churning with schemes.

With soft eyes he fluttered his white eyelashes up to you, “Does it hurt?” he whispered, looking at your expression that looked more irritated than pained. You nodded your head slowly, “It feels like when your foot is asleep,” you muttered, “but not the ‘numb’ kind of asleep, like the kind that hurts anytime you move it.” you continued as you closed your eyes, exhausted and very ready to go back to bed.

Satoru raised himself from the counter, taking steps over to you as you felt his presence loom next to you. “Nd you have to do it all the time too-” he scoffed, playing the sympathy card so you'd think he was on your side.

He pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder, “They always look so full,” he murmured against your skin, you hummed in response, agreeing with what he was saying as he wrapped his hand around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “So painful.” he hummed as his hands dared to trace up your bare torso.

“I can help, y’know.” The tone he said those words sounded sincere- almost as though he was just trying to make this easier for you, you let out a hum in disbelief, “Unless you're a baby who refuses to latch- no you can't.” you mumbled with a groggy voice.

Your words came out as a retort- but in Gojo’s ears they sounded like a challenge.

It was true, his child had the same stubborness as Satoru, refusing to eat anything that didn’t come from a plastic bottle. Thus the pumping and the overproduction of milk that was piled high in the freezer by now. You had half the mind to sell it or empty them down the drain, I mean what child is gonna drink that much? Even if it was a Gojo heir- no child drinks that much milk.

But the thought pained Satoru, it only reminded him of the times where that frozen milk could have been in his mouth rather than in plastic bags.

Satoru kept a light touch as his hand trailed to the side of your ribs, scooping the bottom of the free breast you hadn’t pumped yet. Feeling the weight in his hand as he lifted it lightly, and you were just tired enough to let him. “They're so heavy.” he whispered in a coo as you blinked your eyes open, fully registering what he was trying to do.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “Don't be gross, ‘toru.” you spoke in a clearer voice, earning a small laugh to ring into your ear as his hand gently grasped the side of your full breast. “What's gross about wantin’ to help?” He murmured in your ear, his hand keeping a light graze as his pointer finger brushed past your tender nipple, you hissed at the feeling causing Satoru to hum an understanding ‘I know.’ into your ear.

You couldn't see his face but you were sure he was pleased with himself, “That's all I wanna do.” his words sounded wholehearted. Almost earnest as his large hand held onto your breast with a light touch, “I'll be sooo gentle, I promise.” he closed his eyes feeling your breast fill his palm with ease, “I just wanna help you,” he whispered as he pressed the off button on the little machine, guiding your hand to place it on the counter as he pressed an honest kiss to your ear.

You knew that filling those little bottles would have taken way too long, then the thought of how much faster it would be if you let him- “Let me help you.”

Satoru’s silver tongue was never your favorite part of him, you never liked how easy it was for him to hide the truth behind seemingly sincere words.

His brushing fingertips against your sore nipples didn't help either, his fingers were very, very close to squeezing the suede ring of color around the hardened peak- Satoru wanted to see if small rivulets would spurt out of your nipples if he squeezed.

You inhaled feeling the warm pads of his fingertip caress at your tender nipple. If Satoru wasn't trying to convince you of something, you'd admit it felt nice. You scoffed, “Don't make it nasty ‘toru-” you caved, sighing with an exhausted tone, feeling his warm palms lift your heavy breasts.

Gojo’s mouth had been salivating from the second he walked into the kitchen, and as you said those words he gulped hard. “Course not~” he mumbled, allowing the truth to seep out in his words.

And as he guided you to sit onto the couch as you've done plenty of times when you'd pump, he already knew how he wanted to be fed, he had thought about it over and over again. And settled on this position, his back was pressed against the tops of your thighs. His long legs extended onto the couch- unashamed of his cock rising from staring at the cream droplet that threatened to fall from your nipple.

Even if this act was obscene and borderlining on too far- you were grateful he didn't make any teasing remarks on how little it took for him to convince you this time. That and how his mouth would have been filled soon enough, so you wouldn't worry about that.

Your hand was on the back of his head, fingers filled with lily white hair as he fought back a smile. Only the gleam in his eyes showed you just how excited he was. Satoru’s lips parted as his eyes darted back and forth from your sore nipple up to your face that was warm with embarrassment. All but asking for permission as you watched his bottom lip quiver in anticipation.

With pinched eyebrows, you guided his head towards your aching breast, Gojo’s lips parted awaiting your puffy nipple. His tongue covered the bottom of his teeth- a low groan rumbled onto your skin as he lightly pressed his parted lips onto the skin around your nipple.

You watched with a grimace look on your face, not knowing why he would offer this- let alone enjoy it.

Satoru’s tongue circled at your hardening nipple, lapping softly as he tried to keep his promise of being gentle as the essence of the milk lingered on his tongue. A small huff left your lip as he rested his tongue at the bottom of your nipple, protecting it from his pearly teeth.

His hands rested atop his tummy as you caressed the back of his scalp, you nodded your head as a form of permission, giving Satoru the ‘ok’ that he could start- his lips were slow to start sucking, pulling your nipple further into his mouth with a lactogenic motion from his tongue.

Before now, Satoru wasn't fully sure how to nurse if you let him, he knew it wasn't like just sucking your nipple. But the second he felt the sore apex of your breast press against the roof of his mouth, sucking in as much of your breast as he could, his tongue massaged the bottom of your tit to coax the milk to come out.

The motion came to him as an instinct, as though nursing was engraved in his marrow from the minute he was pulled into this world.

It took very little effort to pull milk to the surface. But the moan that reverberated onto your breast from a fat droplet hitting Satoru’s tongue- it was bordering on pornographic. It was as though he saw the pearly gates of heaven when the droplet infiltrated the taste buds of his tongue.

No matter how much fantasizing he did, or any of the ghost-like tastes- nothing. Nothing, could have prepared him for how fucking heavenly you tasted.

Your milk was warm, thick enough to leave a light cast on his tongue as he tried to suckle more liquid from your nipple. Gojo’s mouth was latched onto you in a way you knew it would hurt to pull him off.

Satoru’s gaze threatened to shut as you looked down at him. His head coddled in your hand as he kept faltering eye contact with you. Only making this feel even more salacious than it should have.

No, this was only supposed to be a way for him to help- a way to remove the aching pressure from your breasts and save some time.

But that look in his eyes, the way his eyebrows were furrowed- almost as though he was sucking your tit in spite.

That was till a bigger wave of your milk rushed into his mouth, earning an almost anguished whimper to pulse against your skin.

Your eyes squinted trying to figure out if he was exaggerating- only the way his eyes struggled to stay open, the blush across his cheeks and the satisfied smile on the perked corners of his lips, convinced you he was being genuine.

With every ooze of the prized liquid he suckled from your plump breast, Satoru swallowed. Not wanting any to spill from his lips as you placed your hand on his chest that was threatening to start hyperventilating. Too focused on suckling as much milk as he could to even consider keeping a steady breathing pattern. The warmth of his mouth on your tender nipple was soothing, comforting almost.

Gojo’s eyes were half lidded and hazy- trying his very best not to let them roll to the back of his head as the dulcet milk trickled down his throat.

Unwillingly a small whimper fled his latched lips as his eyes closed, chest heaving from the taste of you coating his mouth. You huffed a small breath from his greedy tongue sucking harder on your nipple.

Rubbing your hand on his chest to soothe the little whimpers that rumbled your breast, thankful his eyes were closed when they rolled to the back of his head. His trapped cock was shouting at him for attention, be it instinct or just wanting to relieve the ache- his hand slowly trailed down his tummy, only your eyes were too focused on his seemingly intoxicated expression to notice.

Your hand holding his head up started rubbing gently at his scalp, seeing frustration form on his delicate features- unknowing why. But you were almost trying to soothe him as whimpers vibrated onto your breast. Watching his eyebrows furrow and the growing blush on his cheeks to deepen as his eyes fluttered open.

Looking up at you from the slightly obstructed view from below, your palm on his chest being able to feel how hard his heart was beating. And as your eyebrows furrowed with a breathy sigh- you watched the familiar look in Satoru’s eyes glimmer past white lashes.

You inhaled sharply, feeling his tongue trail from massaging the bottom of your nipple to the little mound that provided the milk. Tracing the tip of his tongue on your bud causing you to hiss his name in a warning.

That's all it took for him to continue suckling on your sore nipple. You were about to rest back onto the couch with a sigh, caressing the back of his head as you felt relief wash over your shoulders, allowing him to take what he needed and then some.

That was till your eye caught his bicep flexing- and you trailed your eyes down his pale arm parting your lips in shock as you watched his unashamed hand palm himself through his gray sweats.

You huffed- only it came out in a breathy sigh rather than in the reprimanding tone you meant it to. Satoru only moaned as he heard his name fall from your lips, feeling his mouth suck rougher in order to pull more milk from your heavy breast that threatened to suffocate his nose.

His hand hesitantly removed itself from the stiff bulge of his sweats, landing on your wrist that was on his chest. His hazy cerulean eyes filled with the kind of mist you only see when he's premeditated something long before you knew of it.

Satoru’s fingers wrapped around your wrist as he greedily drank from your nipple, so greedily that the corners of his mouth were threatening to leak the honeyed fluid- he was suckling so much, he couldn't swallow fast enough.

And as the little droplets stained the sides of Gojo’s jaw, trailing down his pale skin- he led your hand to extend over to his strained bulge. Knowing if you truly were uncomfortable by this, you would've pulled away the second you saw him palming himself.

You inhaled as his hand led you to his cock by your wrist, gasping softly with a tingle on your cheeks from how hard he was. Satoru placed his larger hand atop yours, pressing it onto his painful erection with a whine rippling through your skin.

You flashed your eyes from the gray fabric that trapped his neglected cock, back to his eyes. Threatening to blink shut as you kept a gentle grasp on his bulge. Even if he was the one in your lap, nursing at your breast in a way that can only be described as voracious. That look on his face was smug, almost as though he was right this entire time and you were the hard headed one.

Satoru trailed his hand onto your forearm, smiling to himself as you started softly palming his prominent bulge.

Your eyebrows were pinched upwards, trying very, very hard not to shift your thighs beneath his back to relieve the ache forming between them.

You felt bad, like the only reason he was palming himself- almost in a sad way, was because you allowed this to happen. It wasn't guilt- but you wanted to apologize in some way.

Satoru’s mouth suckled in no pattern, his only goal was to drain every single gush of milk you offered. No matter how fervent he must've looked right now, he didn’t care. As long as he could feel your warmth in his throat- your taste coating the cavern of his mouth- he didn’t care if he looked like a starved man.

You sighed almost in pity as he let out various throaty whimpers, firmening your fingers around the print in his sweats. “Oh ‘toru~” you soothed, knowing how hard he was- it had to be painful. Your cheeks tingling and warm as his hips bucked up into your hand for more friction.

And as your hand cradled onto the back of his head, you maneuvered the hand on his bulge to free it from its torment.

For the first time since he latched onto your nipple, his lips parted from your breast with a low moan. The cold morning air hitting his pinkening tip causing him to furrow his eyebrows, but all it took was for the feeling to settle before he attached onto your draining nipple once more.

You didn't hesitate to place your hand onto his base, feeling the light trails of his precum on his shaft from how worked up he was, tempting a gasp to leave his lips, you looked at him.

And as though he was made to do it- Satoru lightly ran his tongue at your budding nipple, lapping up the white sweetness that leaked from your breast.

You kept a light touch on his cock, his hand on your upper arm before gently resting it on the swell of your other breast. Thinking to himself how rude of him that he was neglecting your other equally tender nipple.

Satoru lightly thumbed your nipple, feeling light drips wet his thumb. Enticing you to slowly start stroking him, stopping your grasp right before your fingers could roll onto his flushed tip. Knowing he wouldn't last long if you worked over his cockhead.

The moans that rumbled from Gojo’s throat and onto your sensitive skin were full of desperation and bliss. You watched him in almost pity- trickles of your milk falling from the sides of his lips, making trails of white drip down his cheeks.

It didn’t take long for him to finish draining your breast, somewhere in his mind he knew there was nothing left in your left tit, but that didn't stop him from trying to slurp up any remaining droplets.

Gojo’s cheeks felt like they were boiling on his face, and with one last lap of your nipple, he unlatched from your breast. Huffing softly as his breath tickled your damp nipple, he looked up at you, an amazed and out of breath expression formed on his face as you wiggled your eyebrows.

It was embarrassing, the way your milk left trails of a light white film on his cheeks, the way he was breathing heavily with his cock in your hand. Vulnerable.

Satoru saw your flushed face- and to comfort you he raised himself from the tops of your thighs lightly, keeping a massaging hand on your unsucked breast as he pressed his plump lips to yours.

It was filthy- Mouths dancing against each other in pure delirium. Being able to taste yourself on his tongue- on his spit laced with milk. It was like Gojo did that to show you just how exquisite you tasted. Only for your hand to keep its snail pace, avoidant of his crying tip.

His lips pulled from yours, looking into your eyes and thumbing your weeping white nipple. Soft opened mouth moans coming from his lips as your hand stroked tenderly.

Rare were the times when Satoru was silent during intimacy, usually babbling teasing nonsense. But this time, the carnal look in his eye told you everything you needed to know. His senseless prattling wasn't even a thought in his mind right now, burning beneath his skin was pure and utter hunger. Hunger, to taste you- to drink from you. To nurse, over and over again.

The one thought that lingered in his mind was to make sure to keep you pregnant- keep you in a state to continue producing the warm comfort he hardly had as a child.

Gojo licked his bottom lip, mouth salivating as he felt the warm liquid trickle onto his palm. He leaned back slightly, looking down to your swollen nipple rolling between his fingers. Then trailing his gaze to your slow stroking hand, Gojo was sure he had never been so hard in his life till now.

He licked his lips before cupping the side of your heavy breast in his palm, slowly shifting himself down to align himself with your right breast. Your hand followed the back of his scap, guiding him to latch onto your dripping nipple.

Satoru opened his mouth, closing his eyes when he felt the skin of your breast fill his mouth again. Running his tongue across your neglected nipple and tasting the essence his fingers had squeezed out. A throaty whine leaving his nose as he started suckling, so enthralled by your taste and the gentle way you stroked him. Keeping his kneading hand on the side of your breast to assist in guiding more milk into his mouth.

Your cheeks were warm, tingling from how lewd he looked at that moment. The little whimpers that came from him didn't help either.

Happily, Satoru let those unfiltered whines pour from him, if it meant you'd know how much he was enjoying himself.

And as your hand slightly passed his tip on the upturn, he gasped against you. Almost as a warning, he sucked harder on your sore nipple in return. Gojo let out muffled cries from your hand stroking past his tip, even if you couldn't see it- his eyes were rolled to the back of his head as he suckled instinctively. You looked away from his face- churned with an insatiable greed.

Looking at his pinkening cock in your hand as the veins on his lower abdomen stood proud beneath his skin. His chest was heaving once more, forced to take heavy inhales through his nose as he felt the knot in his tummy tighten.

Satoru’s whines started to rumble louder against you, watching an inhale reach down his torso, his tummy caving from how hard he exhaled. He was so close. So fucking close and fighting it at this point. You could see it in his scrunched eyebrows and desperate suckles.

You lightly scratched your nails onto his scalp, “It’s okay ‘toru,” you sighed softly, gaining his cerulean eyes to open slightly and look up at you. You were flustered sure, but you wanted to assure Satoru that he could cum whenever he liked. He didn't need to hold off for your sake.

Only when he saw the soft smile on your lips- something deep within him snapped. It didn't click before, even with your hand tenderly stroking him and your tit in his mouth, even as he was nursing directly from your breast. It still didn't click.

But when you soothed his whimpers, the tender smile you had on your lips as he took and took from you. The nurturing tone you assured him with. That's when it made sense. That's when he realized why he had been longing to help you in this way.

Before he didn’t really question it- thought it was just something weird he found hot amongst all his other strange fantasies. But now. Now it made sense.

Your mind was a mess, barely able to process the words that fell from your lips naturally. Gojo’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as you polished his cockhead, his hips bucking up into it in response. You watched as he let go of that final reservation, sucking harshly causing more of your milk to spill from the corners of his lips with frustrated whines. Being able to feel his orgasm tighten in his stomach.

The hand on your breast was practically milking you, squeezing milk into his mouth rather than his tongue nursing at it, his nose was scrunched as he exhaled a ragged breath through his nose. Your nipple was starting to ache from the vibrating whimpers and moans, and instead of telling him to stop, you raked your fingers through his hair gently. “Shh, I know, I know.” you crooned, keeping a steady pace on his cock as he simmered his whimpers.

Ever since Satoru told you he had little to no memories of his mother, you knew he had mommy issues. And when he started asking to taste your milk you were hesitant, knowing once that pandora's box was opened there was no use trying to close it again.

Only as you looked down at him, how content and blissful he looked- unlike anything you've ever seen before, you didn't mind if it didn’t close again.

Satoru parted his eyes, feeling his orgasm slowly slip in his tummy, you watched as his eyes fluttered back to his head- mumbling something in the sound of ‘m’cummi-’ against your skin as you sped up your pace. His hips twitching up into your hand as you jerked him quickly, his lungs could barely handle how little air he was inhaling, his brain fuzzy as he slurped and lapped at your nipple.

Gojo saw stars as you stroked him past the pinnacle you worked him up, his eyes squinted harshly as his lips unlatched from your breast, throaty groans mixed with whines fell from his lips as his orgasm oozed over your hand. When your thumb caressed the opening on his tip, his cock spurted out another pump of his cum with a whine.

As you helped work through his orgasm, smaller pumps of his seed assisted in the wet strokes you gave him, Satoru latched back onto your breast with a content sigh, needing to drain as much as he could, his cock slowly softening in your hand.

And as he drank the rest of your milk you rested your hand on his lower belly, waiting for him to finish taking what he needed. His mouth wasn’t suckling as frantically nor hurried as before. You relished in the warmth his lips provided with a sigh, closing your eyes as the sun started rising. Being able to see the light through your closed eyes.

When Satoru couldn't taste any more milk coming from your drained breast, he hesitantly pulled away. Resting his head in your hand as he looked up to the ceiling hazily, milk drunk as your breasts obstructed his view.

He inhaled, “Throw away that stupid machine.” you sighed, knowing he’s hated the breast pump since he saw you use it for the first time.

“What am I gonna do when you're not around?” you murmured, thinking of a world where you wouldn't have access to a pump.

“Call me and I'll find you.”

You let out a small laugh. Leaning your back onto the couch as Satoru setted on your hand. “So fucking weird.” You murmured, hearing him let out a smiley breath.

Satoru sat up, turning to you with an endearing gaze, “Only cause I like you soooo much.” he claimed, pressing a kiss onto your temple before standing. Reaching out for your hand, ignoring the mess on his tummy, pulling you to stand as he led you to the master bathroom.

“What do you want for breakfast?” you muttered behind him, watching him halt his steps and looking back at you, “What?” he asked with a smug smile and creased eyebrows.

You furrowed your eyebrows, “...Breakfast?” not understanding what was confusing about the question.

Satoru scoffed, “What for? You just fed me.” he spoke sweetly, watching the grimace on your face churn with an appalled ‘ugh!’ as you snapped your hand away from his. You scoffed as he reached for your hand again, pulling you into his arms. Peppering kisses over your features as you groaned.

“You’re so nasty.” you scoffed as he stepped forward, leading you into the bathroom with various kisses on your cheeks.

You were sure this little activity Satoru found so much attraction in, would make its way into your daily routine. Only you didn't mind it as much as you thought you would.

⋆ ˚｡ ⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡ ⋆

writing this added 3 years to my life dead ass.

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tbaluver · 1 month

Note

I loved the “when you have a baby with them” fic, could you do one where you feel insecure about your body post birth and they reassure you? I love your work!! 🤍

When You're Insecure About Your Body After Birth- The Love And DeepSpace Men

warnings: mentions of body insecurities

parings in order: Xavier x Reader, Zayne x Reader, Rafayel x Reader, Sylus x Reader

a/n: hihi anonnie!! im so happy to hear you loved that headcanon fic and my works! (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) it always makes my day to hear you guys love them <3 i hope you and everyone else enjoys this one!

any likes and reblogs are always appreciated! enjoy!

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆

Xavier:

He would notice every time he tried to get close to you, you would find an excuse or completely avoid him. Anytime you would try to wrap his arms around you at bedtime, you would roll away from him so you're out of his reach. Your sleepy lover would not be able to sleep anymore without you in his arms.

He would be so confused on why you tried to avoid his affection. He would look it up on his phone, his search history filled with questions of "Does my lover hate me?" "Why does my lover not want my affection" All the answers he read online made him more confused and sad.

It wasn't until he watches you stand in front of the mirror, tugging at your clothes and grimacing each time you realize the fabric doesn't sit on your body like it used to before. You wouldn't notice that he was watching you, thinking he was asleep the whole time.

He would grow concerned every second and every minute as you're still fixated on your clothes and by the time he gets up from your shared bed, you're on the verge of breaking down. You avoid eye contact with him before he can even ask what's wrong.

His arms reach around your waist and he pulls you firmly into his body, his chin resting on your shoulder. “Honey, I can’t stand seeing you like this. What’s making you upset? I want to support you and make everything better.” He would say, kissing your neck before nuzzling into you.

Although your lover warms your heart, it doesn't stop your tears. Instead, you start to ramble about how you don't look like how you used too before your pregnancy. How your clothes don't fit you like how they used too and how you felt like you started to hate your body.

He would listen silently, letting you let it all out while he's continuing to hold you so closely. You let out a deep sigh when you finished talking, melting into his touch.

He would pepper you with kisses and promises you that every inch and part of you is beautiful and deserves to be loved. He'll continue to love on you as much as it takes for you to see you as he sees you.

"You're my everything. Every change is proof to your incredible strength and the beautiful journey we've shared. To me you're more than perfect and I'll keep reminding you of that every single day."

Zayne:

Zayne has always been and will be extremely attentive to you and your family. He's remembered your medical record and has known the smallest detail about you so he's already noticed the change on your eating habits. He'll notice you checking the packages to check the calorie counts and at first he wouldn't think much of it. He would think at first, you were maybe keeping track of your energy but he wouldn't brush this off.

He'll notice this has been happening quite often every day. Every time you want too cook something or order something or even get a snack, you'll always check the calorie count. So he decided to finally talk to you about it during dinner and ordering your favorite takeout.

As you chat and set down the dinner together, feeding the baby first, he’ll notice you putting only a small amount of food on your plate. It’s your favorite dish, so this seems unusual to him. "Is that all you're going to eat, my love?" He would ask, his gaze on you. You would look at him anxiously and tell him it was enough for you because you were on a diet but he would tell you that it wasn't enough and that you didn't need to go on a diet at all.

Tears would threaten to spill from your eyes when you would explain to him that you need to lose weight. You'd open up about your insecurities, worried that he might not find you as attractive now because you feel your body has changed after the pregnancy compared to how you looked before.

Zayne would get up from the opposite side of the table where he sat and made his way to your side. He would sit back down on a chair closest to you, hold your hand tenderly, and gently rub soothing circles on the back of your knuckles.

“My love, you’ve only just welcomed a new life into the world and your body has done something remarkable. It’s proof of your strength and love, and its beauty goes far beyond just appearances.” He would say while pressing soft kisses on the back of your knuckles.

He hated to see you so upset like this, insecure and hating your body when to him you were the most beautiful thing in the world. He would do anything to show you how truly loved you really were.

"I promise you, you don't need to lose any weight. I think you're perfect the way you are. But if you don't feel confident in your body, then there are better ways to do it. I can help you and support you."

Rafayel:

He's called you a couple times to dinner but you didn't come down to the dining area. He's already fed the baby and put your baby down for a nap before he went off to find you. You stood in your shared bathroom mirror, poking and prodding at the pregnancy scar and imperfections on your body. Every single flaw became amplified in your mind the longer you looked at your figure contort in the mirror. You felt disgusted in your own body and wanted it all to disappear.

Tears would race down to your cheeks and you would feel strong arms wrap around your waist. You were met with Rafayel's reflection smiling right back at you until he saw the tears stain your face. He would gently turn you to face him, keeping one arm wrapped around your waist while using his free hand to wipe away your tears. "What's the matter princess?"

He patiently waited for you to talk as you tried to steady your breathing as he continued to wipe any more tears that came running down.

When you were ready to talk, you explained to him that you've been feeling insecure lately. The weight that you gained from pregnancy hasn't left your body. You haven't looked the same every since. A couple of your clothes don't fit the way they used too and it's all been upsetting you.

Hearing you talk so low of yourself broke Rafayel's heart. He hated that part of your brain. The brain that brings you down and makes you despise yourself. He desperately wished you could see yourself the way he saw you.

He began peppering your face with soft kisses, causing you to let out a laugh. He continued trailing kisses over your body and stopping at every area to tell you why he loved it. Your body was practically covered with kisses and praises from head to toe. Once he was finished, he brought himself back up and pulled you into a kiss.

"My love, you're like a breathtaking masterpiece to me. Every change tells the story of the journey we've been through together. You're still the same incredible woman I fell in love with, and you'll always be my beautiful, amazing wife. My one and only. I adore you more than ever."

He cups your cheeks gently and looks into your eyes with his warm gaze, "I love you, every part of you," He says softly. "If I could somehow transfer my thoughts and feelings into your mind so you could see yourself the way I do, I would do it in a heartbeat."

Sylus:

He would notice the signs but he didn't want to jump to conclusions just yet. You two would shower often before you gave birth. It was one of the intimate times you both shared. After birth, he noticed that you wouldn't shower with him anymore. Usually you would excuse yourself to watch the baby or say you would have already showered. You also wouldn't go out that often with him to auctions or any dates even if he offered Luke and Kieran to watch the baby. He figured maybe it's because you didn't trust them with the baby just yet, which is valid.

It wasn't until he finally got to convince you to go out tonight to an auction. He picked out a dress for you so he could match with you.

You stared at the mirror completely lost in thought. You hum dismissively as continued to poke at your skin. You analyze every stretch mark that appeared on your skin out of the dress. You'd turn every few minutes to check out your other angles.

You were so caught up in thought that the footsteps of your lover didn't alert you that he was in the room. He was leaning against the door frame, watching you for a while. He approaches you, wrapping his arms around your waist. "You look beautiful sweetie." He says, placing a kiss on your shoulders and then one at the top of your head.

You'd frown and protest, feeling that you're not as beautiful as he says. You'd start to ramble about how the changes from pregnancy have made you uncomfortable with your appearance, tears welling up in your eyes. Realizing that tonight might not be the best time to go out, you'd suggest that he should go by himself instead.

He'd spin you around so you were now facing him. His large hands cupping your face as one of his thumbs wipe any tears running down. A finger on your chin made you look up at his crimson eyes and you can see the concern and honesty in his eyes as he spoke.

"Sweetie, you are truly beautiful. Your beauty isn't just in how you look but in the love and resilience you've shown. I see you, not just as my wife but as this remarkable woman who has given a gift and something truly precious. You are stunning, inside and out."

He would gently intertwine his fingers with yours, holding together as he placed tender kisses on your knuckles. All the while, he'd keep his gaze locked on you, with one arm wrapped lovingly around your waist.

"I know every detail about your body and I know it's perfect. I will continue to love you, every inch of you. And I'll remind you that every single day."

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logansdoll · 2 months

Text

night terror

one of logan's nightmares goes awry... in the worst way possible.

CW: angst with a happy ending, Logan is so sweet, he just needs love and reassurance, blood, gore, you can heal just like Logan but it takes a little longer... so you're still in pain.

For as long as you'd known him, Logan always had horrible night terrors.

Bouts of kicking and thrashing.

Trembles of phantom pain.

Roars of agony and torture.

The earlier days were the hardest.

To see your lover in such consistent and unrelenting pain.

To watch him war with, not only with the demons of his past, but with himself, nearly every night.

You often wondered how one man could bear it all...

And somehow still have the strength to greet you with a smile come morning.

Even still, eventually—be it wishful thinking or whatever else—you reached a point where you believed at least this was it.

This had to be as bad as it could get... right?

Wrong.

And you wouldn't realize just how terribly wrong you were... until a cold December night...

In the midst of one of the worst night terrors you'd ever seen him through.

"LOGAN!" your voice screamed, full of fear and cracking with pain as it echoed around him.

Logan was surrounded by perpetual darkness, barely able to see the hand in front of his face, and only able to hear your shrieks echo in his mind.

"(y/n)?" his brows furrowed, panic rising in his tone as he snapped his head around in search of you. "(y/n)?!"

"LOGAN!" you cried again, the sound seeming to tear through your throat.

"I'm comin'!" he called, breaking into a run as he frantically looked around. "I'll find you! Stay put!"

"Will you now?" a sickeningly familiar voice chided.

Logan froze in his tracks, his claws extending on pure instinct as his eyes landed on the man before him.

William Stryker.

Never before had Logan experienced such anger at the sight of a singular person.

"What have you done to her?" he asked, trembling with fury.

The man chuckled, motioning toward his feet with an amused smile.

"I believe you mean: what have you done to her..."

Logan's eyes trailed down to the floor, and the moment they were met with your unmoving form, all time and space seemed to halt.

He couldn't breathe.

He couldn't speak.

Why did the world make him pay for his sins by putting you through so much pain?

Walking toward you, he couldn't believe it was real—that anything was.

But as he dropped to his knees and cupped your cheek, only to be met by the icy burn of your skin, he lost all control.

Blinded by nothing but pure, unbridled rage, he let out a deafening roar, leaping forward and plunging his claws deep into Stryker's stomach.

Only... your voice was the one that gasped.

In the time it took him to blink, the darkness was gone, and he was suddenly back in his bedroom, sitting upright your shared bed.

But rather than having Stryker impaled on his claws, it was you, squeezing his forearms with a look of surprise.

A look of pure horror unfolded on his face, and as his eyes lowered to your stomach, he was greeted by the huge stains of red soaking through your tank top, and only getting larger.

"Logan," you grunted, softly, trying to muster a smile as you fought through the pain, already aware of the thoughts racing through his head. "It's okay."

Quickly, his claws retracted, and you jolted with them, letting out another pained grunt.

"Doll..." his voice cracked, small and broken.

It was just as he feared.

Clutching your stomach, you slowly began to fall, but Logan frantically moved, catching and cradling you in his arms.

"(y/n)!" he panicked, practically heaving as he looked you over, struggling to find the words. "Shit! Fuck, I didn't mean to... I didn't see... you were just... I couldn't stop—"

You quieted him by raising a hand to his cheek, softly cupping it as your thumb smoothed over his cheekbone.

He leaned into your touch almost instantly, his free hand coming to rest over yours.

"You have nothing to apologize for," you assured with a warm smile, lifting your shirt to reveal one of the holes was already closing up. "Look... it's healing already."

Seeing that it was, indeed, already closing, he let out a heavy exhale, the sight helping him calm down if only slightly

But it didn't refute the principle of what he did.

The evidence might disappear, but he still hurt you.

It was your blood staining the sheets.

It was your blood staining your shirt.

And it was your blood staining his hands.

What kind of man was he?

What kind of man couldn't protect his own girl... from himself?

"Don't you dare," you ordered, tone firm as you sat up on your knees, the second hole having closed.

His face made his thoughts perfectly clear.

Logan watched you, intently, as your other hand came to rest on his other cheek, holding him in place as your eyes poured into his.

"I don't know what happened in your dream, but I am right here," you assured, your voice unwavering. "I am perfectly fine and I am perfectly safe, because you are here with me."

Slowly, his eyes flicked down to your stomach, the torn holes and bloodstains still there despite the healed skin.

"I hurt you..." he warned, watching his hands as they slowly slid down to rest on your hips. "This could happen again."

You smiled, your hands sliding down to rest on his chest, feeling his heartbeat pound against his skin.

"Then I'll heal... and we'll start over."

You took his hand in yours, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his with a cheesy grin.

"It'll take a lot more than that to get rid of me."

He let out a small chuckle at the poorly timed joke, and you placed a tender kiss on his soft lips, before pulling back and flashing him other smile.

And although he seemed to be okay, Logan never truly let go of that night, the memory a nagging reminder in the back of his mind.

After a little more time, he eventually re-acclimated himself to sleeping so close to you—only now, he kept his arms firmly wrapped around you, and trained himself to keep his hands pointed as far away from you as possible.

It took a while, and the terrors from his past still plagued his nights...

But, awake or otherwise, he never hurt you again.

#james howlett #james howlett x reader #logan howlett #logan howlett x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #wolverine x reader #x men x reader #x men #wolverine

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nanpecan · 18 days

Text

₊✩‧₊˚once more to see you˚₊✩‧₊

{nanami x f!reader}

˚₊✩‧₊summary: You're a manager at Jujutsu Kaisen and happen to get assigned to driving a rank 1 sorcerer you've had a crush on for a while. Everything seems to be going as normal until an interaction with a curse leaves him a little hot and bothered.

˚₊✩‧₊tags: nanami x fem!reader, explicit smut (mdni) !!

˚₊✩‧₊ word count: 5.6k

˚₊✩‧₊author's note: this has been in my head for so long and I guess its part one to a longer story but who knows if I'll ever get around to writing it, yet alone posting it. anyways first time, kinda nervous; this is super self indulgent and i'm not even sorry about it.

˚₊✩‧₊this is also kind of inspired by this Mitski song, hence the title. I love this song, I think it's very Nanami coded<3

˚₊✩‧₊all parts here! pt 2. pt 3. pt 4.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

An obsession.

That’s what it was.

A rush of emotion when you caught even the smallest glance of him.

Always in a hurry.

Always somewhere to be.

Never paying any mind to you.

This lifestyle was a rushed one and you hardly ever found time for yourself, but your mind always seemed to have a second to wonder about him.

Was he safe? Was he injured?

You had heard about him through others.

You had really only seen him in action from a distance, once, and very briefly. But that had been enough to develop this stupid crush.

You were a busy body, nothing but a cushion to the real missions of importance.

You had come to accept that you would never really matter past making it from point A to point B, with whatever message you had to deliver, or whoever you had to transport for the day.

You were secretly content with the position. You had started because you wanted to make a difference.

But you knew you were a coward.

You had the spirit but lacked the physical strength to back it. And that made you afraid.

“Nanami Kento.”

Your hand stopped mid air as you reached for your phone.

“I’m sorry?” You must have misheard.

“You owe me one.” Akari said with a smirk. The head manager had been one of your closest friends since you had begun working as an assistant. You had similar pasts and were around the same age, so you had instantly clicked. She was very much aware of your infatuation even if you hadn’t directly expressed it. She could see right through you every time you tried to feign indifference whenever the topic of Nanami was brought up.

“Nanami needs transportation to his next mission. He usually goes on his own, but the client insisted he gets driven to this location specifically.” There was something suspicious about that last statement, but you dismissed it as she kept talking. “Ijichi is busy dealing with something so it was passed down to me.” She smiled again and shrugged. “But I have some very important business to take care of so I’m passing it on to someone I trust is more than qualified to drive a sorcerer of his class.” She winked at you. “Don’t worry about the briefing he’s been sent all the information. All you have to do is drive him there and back.”

You looked down at your phone and tried to act nonchalant. Until you saw the details. “Today?”

She nodded. “Sorry for the last minute switch up, I figured you’d get in your own head if you had too much time to think about it. Make a good first impression. I’m rooting for you!” She gave you two thumbs up and laughed.

You tapped your finger against the wheel nervously. You had never been more nervous to drive. It’s okay, you thought to yourself, nothing is going to happen, I doubt he’ll even speak to me. He’s not much of a talker, and besides, he always carries around a newspaper or a book. He won’t be paying attention to me. Just focus on-

You flinched as you heard the passenger door open. You had expected him to sit behind you.

You felt your stomach drop as Nanami was suddenly next to you. It was almost overwhelming, his size, his smell, his warmth.

You stared ahead awkwardly and felt his gaze on you. You turned to look at him trying not to seem too flustered.

“Ah, good afternoon.” You smiled warmly at him. “Um, I’m y/n.” You said.

He nodded and didn’t say anything back.

“Right, it should take us around 36 minutes to get to your location.”

He nodded again, his glasses turning to his watch. He suddenly looked up and stared ahead, as to signal that he was ready to head out.

This was so awkward. It was kind of making it easier to be around him. You didn’t know what else you expected. You’d actually preferred the silence rather than trying to carry a conversation with him. At least that’s what you were telling yourself.

“Feel free to mess with the radio. I don’t have any preferences.”

“I prefer to sit in silence before missions.” His voice sent a chill up your spine. Wait a minute, in silence? Weird. You thought to yourself. “Is that okay?”

“Yes, that’s fine too.” Really weird. Most sorcerers would listen to something to amp them up before a mission. For Kusabe that was smooth Jazz, Yuki would put on 80’s Japanese Rock Classics, Ino would put on Ska and you couldn’t help but laugh the first time he requested it. You smirked at the memory and felt his eyes on you again. You dropped the smile and clenched your jaw. “Alright, we’ll be off then.” He hadn’t stopped staring. You quickly turned to look at him and smiled warmly. He turned away, seeming flustered. You quickly made a note of his reaction and you felt your stomach flutter a bit. You let your eyes linger on him for a bit longer, as he tugged at an invisible string on his suit, before turning away and driving off.

You arrived at your location and looked up at the old building. You bit your lip to hold back a laugh. The crooked neon sign over the door was no longer lit up but you could still read out what it said, ‘Paradise X Massage.’ You curiously looked over to see Nanami’s reaction. As usual, he was stoic.

He has to know what that means, right? You went around the car to stand next to him and the moment you took a step closer you felt the aura of the building. A shiver went up your spine and your stomach felt tingly. You couldn’t help but smile. A curse born from a place of sex was bound to have this kind of aura.

Things started to click. Of course Nanami was the best sorcerer for the job. He would take this very seriously. You doubted he ever let his emotions get ahead of him. You thought back to a story Ijichi had told you a long time ago about a group of male sorcerers that had been sent to exorcise a type of Kejoro, only for them to return unsuccessful, unable to carry out the mission, as well as being hot and bothered for a week.

You felt Nanami’s eyes on you again. You looked at him before turning back at the sign and scrunching your face. “Nanami, I wouldn’t have taken you for this type of man, but don’t worry I won’t tell.” You winked at him and cringed at your stupid joke. You didn’t know him like that. He probably thought you were insane.

“Thank you, I try not to make it a habit.” He said back with a small smile.

You looked at him a little surprised and laughed.

“There you are, hello!” A sweaty man with beady eyes came your way and beelined to Nanami. “My name is Gonji, I was the one who sent for you.” He glanced at your direction before turning his back to you to speak with Nanami. You blinked and grimaced. “I bought this location five months ago, I should have known there was something wrong for the price I paid, but hey! That’s business! I’m planning on fixing her up and turning it into a real refined establishment if you know what I mean. I already have the clientele, and the girls but this damn thing keeps scaring the girls away and-“ he whispered the next words. “-killed three of my guys. But hey, that’s business!” He laughed nervously. He was talking a mile a minute, becoming more and more sweaty. The air had to be getting to him. “Anyway I’ve already called a bunch of weirdos to go in there and kill the damn thing but they were all useless. Scammers all of them.” He spat at the ground. “Hey if ya help me out, I’m sure we can work out some sort of discount for you once we’re up and running. What do you say, your choice of girl-“

“Has it taken any hostages?” Nanami cut him off.

“No it only scares off the girls, but lets them out. The men on the other hand…If they do manage to make it out they act like wild animals. I have to keep them away from my girls.” He laughed and then erupted into a coughing fit. “That’s why I recommend you bring a driver. Even if you do kill this thing, the tent in your pants won’t let you focus on anything else for another two hours.” He cackled and elbowed Nanami in a playful manner. Nanami’s jaw clenched and he stared down at the man. Gonji didn’t seem to notice. He finally turned towards you. “Well at least you brought yourself a cute mouse to play with if it gets to be too much.” You couldn’t hide the look of disgust on your face when he finally looked at you. “Hey there little lady, a smile might help.” He rolled his eyes and turned back to Nanami. “Women these days. Can’t take a joke.” He tried elbowing Nanami again and was stopped by Nanami’s large hand grabbing his forearm.

“We’ll get started. Did you want to go inside with me?” Nanami asked the man.

Gonji pulled his arm out of Nanami’s grasp and swore at him under his breath. “No, I’m taking off. I have places to go, people to see, although I’d pay god knows what to see that bitch’s blood spilled on the floor.” He looked around and picked up a rock before weakly throwing it at the sign. He missed, it didn’t even hit the wall. He messed with his jacket, embarrassed. “I’ll be leaving now. I’ll send the payment tomorrow when I come and see the place again.” He waddled off.

“What a fucking dickhead.” You said. “We shouldn’t even exorcise this curse. He shouldn’t be allowed to run a place like that. I’m willing to bet-“

“Will you put up the barrier?” You turned back to Nanami and nodded before muttering the incantation. Nanami awkwardly placed a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry you had to hear that.” He turned towards the barrier. “For the record I agree. Scum like him are a scourge to society and should be dealt with accordingly. For now let’s bring this curse some peace.”

“Let’s.” You said in agreement. You watched him disappear into the veil.

You leaned back against the car and checked the time on your watch. He had been gone for 20 minutes now. You sighed. Was it an insult to worry about him? He was one of the best - in your heavily biased opinion.

You heard your phone ding from inside the car as you received a message and you quickly went around to check it.

-So when’s the wedding?

Akari was checking in on you.

-answer me this, what does it mean when someone doesn’t want to listen to any music on a 30 minute drive.

-No music? Like at all? -none. -weird.

-that’s what I was thinking! he must be fighting demons in his head. -or he just wanted to savor every minute with you<3 -shut up. -how’s it going anyway? -don’t you have “important” business to take care of? -:p boooo -it’s fine, it’s some sort of sex cu-

You jumped as the back passenger door to your right was suddenly being opened. You felt the car shake as Nanami collapsed into the seats.

“Shit, Nanami? Are you okay.” You should have been out there to greet him. You exited out of the car and dropped the veil. The building was a pile of rubble. You made your way around the car and yanked open the door.

You felt blood rush to your face and your jaw dropped as you looked at what lay in front of you.

Nanami had taken off his suit jacket, and was no longer wearing his glasses. He was suddenly desperately undoing his tie and fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, all the while breathing heavily. He turned away from you as you looked in.

“What’s wrong, are you injured? How can I help?” Your face felt hot as you watched him struggle with his clothes. You hesitated to move forward, unsure what to do.

He moved around a bit more, still struggling with his shirt, and you got a better look at him. His face was flush red and there was a slight sheen of sweat on his forehead. He was panting, basically gasping for air. You stared at him feeling a burning in your chest as your heart beat in your ears.

You snapped out of your trance, this was not the time. He might be hurt. He had backed up enough to be leaning on the opposite car door so you moved forward and let the door shut behind you. “Let me help you with that.” You said softly, moving your hands closer to help him with the buttons. “Are you hurt?” You asked as he let out a soft grunt. “Let me take a look.” His hands fell to his side and you noticed he was gripping the seats. He winced away from your touch, hissing as your knee touched his thigh.

You froze. Your hands still on his shirt. He shuddered away from you but you felt him move his thigh forward, slightly, to touch your knee again. He let out a deep exhale and a muffled grunt. He repeated the movement again and again. You stayed there staring at him, face burning as you realized he was basically humping you. His breaths got faster and you felt the ghost of his hand on your back slowly pulling you closer. His inner thigh was now pushing into your knee repeatedly and you felt him slightly buckle his hips as his hand finally landed on your neck and pulled you forward. Your hands, still on his shirt buttons, pushed lightly against his chest and your head fell into the space above his shoulder, cheeks now next to each other. He pushed hard against your knee one more time and then you heard him moan deeply into your ear.

“Fuck.” You heard him mutter. His voice was full of frustration. “Fuck.” He said again.

You slowly pulled back, looking at him, completely in shock. He wasn’t meeting your gaze. He just kept muttering “fuck” and “sorry” under his breath.

You looked down and once again felt blood rush to your face as you realized what had happened.

Since his body was leaned back against the door, you had crawled closer to him and were now on your knees between his legs. You guessed at some point he had managed to undo his belt, the button to his trousers, and pulled down the zipper because you were staring at his erection through the fabric of his underwear. It was soaked.

You quickly pulled back away from him, somewhat losing your balance and placing your hands back down to steady yourself. Nanami lurched up as you placed your hands on his thighs and you watched as he came again. This time seeing the white liquid bleed through the fabric and drip down.

“I- I am so sorry.” You said quickly and started to back away. You needed to leave him alone. One of his hands grabbed onto your arm keeping you in place. You looked at him confused.

“No, stop,” he said, panting. “I’m sorry,” he said, finally looking into your eyes. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I apologize. This is bad. I can't control-“ he squeezed your arm a little as his eyes shut and his brows knit together. “I need...” he looked into your eyes and slowly moved closer to you. His face was inches away and you felt the warmth radiating off of him. He looked directly at you now and seemed to be looking for some sort of sign. His eyes were beautiful. You realized this was the first time you had seen them. “Please…” You continued to stare at him, in shock. He wriggled beneath you and let out a soft moan. “I need you.”

You understood.

You quickly moved closer to him, crashing your lips into his. He moaned into your mouth and desperately pressed his lips to yours. You pushed your tongue through his closed lips and he slightly opened his mouth meeting you with his own tongue. You let him slither his in yours before closing your mouth and tugging at his lips slightly. When you finally pulled back you were both panting heavily, a string of saliva connecting you. You looked down and saw he had come again.

“Y/N, please,” he took your hand and pulled it towards him. “I want…” you looked at him and smirked. Your eyes wandered down as he groaned again.

“What do you want?” You said mischievously. You looked back up.

“Please.” You had intended to tease him, but he looked so distraught and frazzled, you felt it would be too mean spirited. You nodded and let his hand guide you to his pants. You laid your hand down gently over him and felt him twitch underneath you. He groaned and you felt your face burn up again. This was happening.

“I’ll-I’ll help you out, don’t worry.” You said nervously. You pressed down and his hips jutted into your hand. Your chest felt fluttery as your eyes were glued down to your hand and his member twitching beneath it. You smiled a little and clenched your thighs together. Focus. You were all talk. You tried to hide your nerves as you slowly wrapped your fingers around his clothed cock. He tried to suppress a moan as he shuddered underneath you. You watched the discoloration in his underwear spread as more fluid leaked out. “Wow.”

He suddenly pulled your face closer to him and kissed you. He was desperate for contact, moaning into your mouth as he used his free hand to pull down the band of his underwear and you gasped as you felt his hot skin in your hand.

You opened your eyes to try to sneak a peek but his right hand was buried in your hair, keeping you in place to make out with him. You kept your fingers together and wrapped around him as he thrust his hips forward, sliding between your curled fingers easily. He tugged at your bottom lip with his teeth as you felt him wrap a hand around yours, guiding you to stroke him. His breath shuddered at the feeling and he pulled you closer again. You moved your free hand to steady yourself as you leaned over him.

He looked up at you and you saw fire burning in his eyes. He suddenly moved your hand away from his dick and placed his hands on your hips lifting you slightly so he could readjust himself under you. You were straddling him. He watched you carefully as he gently rocked his hips up between your legs and moved his hands up to go under your shirt. He waited patiently for your approval. You nodded and his hands slithered up your shirt to cup your breasts. You gasped as he roughly kneaded you and you started to undo the buttons on your shirt. Nanami decided you weren’t fast enough and ripped the shirt off of you. You didn’t have time to process past the sound of fabric ripping because he sat up and kissed you again.

His hands moved impatiently all over your body as he pulled you closer. He was rough, but not in an aggressive way, he was impatient. You suddenly felt his fingers work their way into the waistband of your pants and you moved your hands to stop him. He looked up at you and stopped moving. He stared silently, still breathing heavily. “Would you like me… to stop?” He asked.

You looked down at him and took a moment to assess the situation. Nanami was half naked laying under you. His shirt was now off revealing his toned chest and abdomen. You finally looked down and saw his dick. Wide and long, the bright red tip was leaning right and radiating heat. Your mouth watered. And you lightly moved your hips forward to feel it push against your core.

“Is there a problem?” He asked.

You hesitated to answer him. How embarrassing, you thought to yourself, this is probably going to hurt. Would he stop if you told him you were a virgin? Maybe it would be for the best. You could feel yourself soaking through your underwear, but would that be enough? He was big. You looked back up at him and opened your mouth to speak. You met his eyes and you blushed. His hair was tousled, skin pink and flush and of course he was breathing deeply. You noticed something on the side of his neck. A cut. It was a puncture wound, no bigger than your pinky nail, but it looked deep.

“You’re injured.” You put your hand up to it and carefully examined it. It was emoting cursed energy and everything clicked. He might have defeated the curse in the building but she had gotten a good lick in. You put your hand over it to heal him.

You weren’t good at much, but your ability to use a tiny amount of RCT had been your saving grace. Not that you were very good at it. You could really only handle superficial wounds like this one.

Suddenly his hand grabbed your wrist and pulled it away. “Later,” he said. You stared at him confused. “I want to finish you first.” His hips thrust upwards against your pants and you couldn’t help but smile. You nodded and brought your hands down to undo the button to your pants. Nanami hissed under you as you shifted your weight around trying to pull your pants down. You were able to get one leg out and began pulling them down the other when he grabbed you quickly and settled you on top of him again. He looked up at you and you watched his eyes move down to take in your body. “Are you ready?”

You looked back at him nervously. “I-you’re so big.” You were too embarrassed to tell him it was your first time. He sat up and was suddenly inches from your face.

He smiled coyly and nodded. “It’s okay, I can help you.” You felt one of his hands grip your waist and the other moved down to rub your clit. Your breath shuddered and you automatically buckled your hips against his hand. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders for support. He smiled wider, amused. His fingers moved lower and he slid them between your folds to collect your arousal. You were breathing heavily, your face buried into his chest. You felt him slip a finger inside of you, slowly, you felt him push up against you as far as he could go before there was a slight pop.

A moan escaped your lips as he pushed his finger deeper. “Fuck,” he muttered. “You’re so tight.” You felt him drag his finger out, “I’m adding another one, okay?” You nodded lost in bliss. You bit your lip as you felt his fingers stretch you out again, this time sliding in a bit easier. His hands were large and his fingers long, but you knew this was easy to take compared to the real thing. Your ability to think was damped as he sped up his thrusts and his other hand slid down to rub your clit again with his thumb. You gasped and felt yourself clench onto him. You moved your hips forward desperate to feel friction. You were panting wildly and felt yourself getting close. You moved your arm down and wrapped a hand around his cock. Roughly stroking it, to repay the favor.

“Wait-I’m close, I-I want you inside of me.” You whispered into his ear. You could feel his heartbeat quicken as his lips crashed down on yours again.

“Whatever you want.” He said. He removed his fingers and you winced at the new empty feeling. Still rubbing your clit with one hand, he moved his now free hand to stop your strokes and guided himself between your legs. He thrust slowly against your folds running his cock between your thighs and your mound and you buckled your hips against him.

You smiled happily. Even if you couldn’t take him, you’re sure you could come from just this. He suddenly stopped and pulled back, you looked down at his cock now gleaming, covered in your fluids. He lay back against the seat and put his hands on your hips. “Now it’s up to you,” he lifted your hips and positioned you so your cunt was hovering over him. “Take your time, if you don’t think you can do it, let me know.” You felt embarrassment rush through you. Did he know?

“Thank you.” You said meekly.

“I’m not trying to embarrass you,” he said softly. His hand came up and caressed your cheek. “I just don’t want to hurt you.” The kindness in his eyes made your heart flutter. You nodded with new determination. You placed a hand on his chest to balance yourself as you reached down with your other one to position him in place. You thrust your hips against his tip and pushed it into your folds, watching as his jaw clenched from the feeling. You found your opening and slowly lowered yourself to allow him inside. You winced as the tip entered you and you pushed down as far as you could go. You looked down in disappointment as you realized he wasn’t even half way in. You moved your hips back and forth just on his tip and he moved his hands onto your hips digging his fingers into you. He hissed and closed his eyes from the feeling.

“Sorry.” You apologized.

He opened his eyes and furrowed his brows. “Don’t apologize. If that’s all you can do, I’ll take it.” He slowly thrust his hips and you moaned. You wished you could take him further. You bit your lip, you could do it. You reached down to lead his cock further into you and you braced yourself as you pushed him in deeper. You whimpered as you felt him stretch you out and after a little resistance he slid right in with a plop. He pulled you closer and bucked his hips slightly as he felt you wrapped around him. Pulsing from the new feeling. You winced as he moved. He was so big. You looked up at him and his face was pure bliss. His mouth was slightly open and his eyes closed, brows furrowed. “Shit,” he muttered. “You’re so tight around me.” He looked up at you. “Is this your first-“ you cut him off with a kiss. You winced at the sensation of him inside of you but suddenly moaned as he pushed up and you felt him reach a spot deep inside of you. You gasped as he thrust and hit it again.

“There, right there, please.” You said desperately. He smiled and began thrusting his hips upwards satisfied every time he saw your face scrunch when he hit that spot. His hands moved back to your ass and he spread your cheeks out allowing himself to go just a little bit deeper. You let out a yelp as he now directly hit that spot inside of you.

“Good girl, you’re taking me so well”. He said. You smiled lazily and kissed him. He slowed his pace a bit as he moved his hand down to rub your clit again. He had seen how much you had liked it and wanted you to finish soon. The feeling of you clamping down on him was going to make him cum soon, too. You let out a heavenly moan as he started to rub you.

Your hips moved down on their own as you rode him. “Nanami! Fuck!” You whined as you bounced over him. You pulled him closer to you to make out and he began to move his hips in opposition to yours. You gasped as you felt him reach deep inside of you, and you wanted more, you felt your climax building up as you desperately pushed against him. Wanting to keep him deeper. He understood and thrust sharply and rubbed your clit harder. Loud moans of his name and ungodly noises left your lips as you felt it all become too much and you suddenly felt your whole body shake vigorously as you came. You felt tears come to your eyes.

You had never felt this good, you felt radiant, like a blinding fire took your body and left you refreshed. You shook over him a couple of times, enjoying the feeling of your cunt pulsing on him. He had stopped moving, still buried deep inside of you so you could ride out your high. Your eyes fluttered as you looked up at him and you smiled, happier than you’d ever been. He planted a kiss on your lips.

“You’re beautiful.” He said. You felt heat weld up in your stomach, he wiped your tears away softly.

You looked down at him and furrowed your brows. “You didn’t come.” You lifted your hips slightly and winced. “Keep going.” You blushed as you saw the white ring that had formed at the base of his cock. The opening of his pants was also covered in your slick.

He nodded and put a hand over your waist, quickly flipping you over and laying you down across the back seats. You were now under him and watched as he backed up, pulling his pants further down. You watched him through the V frame of your legs. Your cunt was sore and you felt like you looked a mess but when he looked back up at you, all your insecurities vanished. He took the sight of you in and you saw his dick twitch with anticipation. He came closer and while you expected him to just go in you gasped as his face went between your thighs and his lips latched onto your clit. You let out a moan. It was too much, you were still so sensitive. You grabbed his head and ran your fingers through his blonde locks. He looked up at you as he ran a stiff tongue against your folds and you shuddered. He smirked and went to town.

He threw your legs over his shoulders and devoured you. Your toes curled and you had to stop yourself from closing your thighs, afraid to crush him. You suddenly felt his fingers curl deep inside you as his tongue played with your bud and you yelled out, your climax hitting again. You held his head against you as you rode out your high; thrusting your hips forward, and rubbing your cunt over his entire face, his nose in particular hitting your clit and making you shudder. You let your head fall back and looked up at him. He smiled at you before backing up and lining himself up to your entrance. “Are you still okay?”

You nodded, exhausted but ready for more. This had to be a dream. “Whatever you want.” You repeated back to him with a smile.

“Good girl.” He pushed himself easily into you and you watched his face form a scowl as he went past your tightest part. You clenched down on him and he opened an eye and smirked at you. “Tell me if it gets to be too much.” You couldn’t even answer him before he was thrusting into you quickly, his hands on your hips holding you down and pulling you against him. He was desperate to fuck you. His hips bucked wildly against you, going in and out at a sickening pace. You could only stare at him in bliss, your mouth open and deep moans escaping everytime he moved. He grunted and pulled you closer, feeling himself coming to his limit. “You’re so good. You’re taking me so well, Princess. Fuck.” He muttered.

“Nanami-” you moaned his name as you felt another high wash over you. You yelped and shut your eyes, arching your back with a cry. You wrapped your legs around him, locking him in place as you felt him growing more desperate with each thrust. You hummed as you noticed him looking at you, once again looking like he was looking for a sign. You smiled, exhausted and nodded. That’s all he needed.

He grunted again and thrust his hips into you one last time, roughly, as he came. You felt him shooting hot ropes of cum inside of you and you brought his head down to kiss him. He smiled against your lips. You felt his cock pulsing inside of you and your eyes closed sleepily.

“Thank you, y/n.”

You nodded as you felt exhaustion come over you. “You can go again if you want.” You said barely keeping your eyes open.

“What?”

“You made me come three times just now. I think I owe you two more rounds.” He smiled and shook his head.

“Rest, I’ll clean you up.” You furrowed your brows and frowned. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes, but,” your eyes closed again. “It’s not fair. Go again, I don’t mind. I’ve been dreaming about this for so long I-“ you fell asleep.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

pt. 2 pt 3. pt 4.

˚₊✩‧₊nana here: if you made it this far bless you. if you saw a typo...no you didn't. idk if i'll ever post pt 2...i guess it depends on how this does or if a certain someone somehow convinces me to post the next part—shout out to cath my biggest supporter<3

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sanguineterrain · 5 months

Note

Hey! Can I request a Clark x reader where they're dating but reader doesn't know Clark is superman. And then superman interacts with them for whatever reason and is flirty bc that's his person!!! But reader is like ☝️ hey buddy back off. I'm HAPPILY taken

this is such a cute request!!!! Argh!!!!

clark kent/superman x gn!reader. fluff, brief danger but r is okay. superman flirting with you but he's dating you? he's just a goober. i lub him <3 PLEASE feel free to imagine maws!clark. I feel like this is very himcore 🥰

****

Being a florist in Metropolis is good work. Lots of people still buy flowers, which is great. Many actually buy bouquets for Superman and leave them on display as support. Poppies, yellow tulips, and cornflowers. They're one of your favorite arrangements.

The downside to being a florist in Metropolis, however, is that on occasion, your flower display ends up the target of a killer robot.

You're not sure why that is. Mostly, you wish people would stop building killer robots.

You've gone outside to see what the commotion is about when you're grabbed by a metal claw. It squeezes hard, almost cutting off your air. You squirm in terror as the robot stomps down Main Street, crushing cars and asphalt in its wake.

"Help!" you scream when you catch your breath, and the robot squeezes you harder.

A dizzying blur of red, yellow, and blue zips past you. You think of your flowers.

The blur cuts through the metal like nothing. The robot begins to collapse, twitching and groaning. Its metal creaks, grip loosening on your body.

You hardly fall before Superman is there, cradling you to his chest.

"I've got you," he says, tucking you close.

You look up at him, and he beams at you, like saving you from a killer robot has been the best part of his day.

Come to think of it, Superman came to your aid surprisingly fast, even for him.

And he holds you... intimately. Like you've known him for years. Your heart picks up.

"Uh," he says, cheeks flushed. "Are–are you okay?"

You smile politely, arms around his neck. "Yes, I'm fine. Thank you, Superman."

He nods, flying down the street. "Good. I'll get you back to your shop and clean up the flowers."

You tilt your head. "How do you know I'm a florist?"

Superman looks at you, blue eyes wide.

"Oh! I... uh, I've seen your arrangements all over the city. They're beautiful. I'd never forget that they belong to an equally beautiful face."

Goodness. If Superman is this forward with everyone he rescues, it's no wonder your flower arrangements are in high demand.

"I'm flattered," you begin, and Superman once again aims that grin with the power of a thousand suns at you. "But, respectfully, I'm very happily taken, so I would appreciate it if you'd keep this rescue professional."

Superman raises an eyebrow. To your surprise, he smiles wider.

"Oh, I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't realize you were taken. My sincerest apologies. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable."

"No, it's alright. I'm honored, but you couldn't pull me away from my boyfriend even with your super strength."

Superman's cheeks turn pinker. He sets you down in front of your store with the utmost care, not letting go until you have your bearings. He takes a step back, rubbing his neck. The gesture makes your brain itch. You don't know why.

"Well, uh, he must've done something right if he's lucky enough to be with you."

"Luck has nothing to do with it," you say fiercely. You don't know why you're so indignant about defending Clark's reputation to Superman. It's not like Clark will ever hear about it.

"No?"

"Not at all. He's an incredible person, kind and smart and loving, and if anyone's lucky, it's me."

Superman makes an aborted gesture to take your hand, then redirects and awkwardly pats your arm instead. You squint at him. He quickly moves away.

"Ah. Sorry. Well, I doubt that. I bet you're equally spectacular."

"Oh. Thank you."

You primly take his hand and give it a good shake. Superman bows his head and laughs.

He takes a step back, eyes bright like you've just made his day.

"Well, I wish you the best with your boyfriend. I'm sorry for being so forward. I've seen your Superman bouquets; your reputation precedes you. I make it a point to know reputed people in Metropolis."

"I can't imagine I'm very high on that list," you say.

"Ah, you'd be surprised. Besides, I never forget a face."

Superman darts behind you and moves at neckbreaking speed to clean up your partially maimed flowers. In three seconds, it's returned to its former glory.

"Well, uh, I'll be seeing you," Superman says, hands clasped behind his back. "I mean, I hope not in a circumstance like this! Th-then again, when else would we see each other? Scratch that, I hope there's no reason for us to cross paths because that would mean you're in danger. Uh, but I don't mean that in a bad way! I just—"

You snort and reach over to take a yellow tulip from your display. You give it to Superman, who takes it like you've just handed him a newborn baby.

"I'm still taken," you say. "But you're very sweet, Superman. Take care, alright?"

"Yeah," he says, tucking the tulip into the strap of his cape. "Yes, you too. Goodbye!"

He soars away, the tulip like a star on his cape.

Superman is handsome and kind, no doubt. But he's certainly no Clark Kent.

#clark kent x reader #superman x reader #superman x you #clark kent x you #clark kent imagine #superman imagine #clark kent fanfiction #superman fanfiction #dc imagine #dc fanfic #dc x you #inbox #blurb

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highvern · 7 months

Text

Work Me Out

Pairing: Kim Mingyu x fem!reader

Genre: Smut, 18+

Warnings: working out, flirting, touching, almost car sex, making out, breast play, fingering, oral, face sitting, multiple sex positions, big dick mingyu, protected sex (gasp!), strength kink, dirty talk, choking, spanking :) lover boy gyu as always. let me know if i missed anything!

Length: ~5k

Note: y'all thought cheol rot was bad but the OG bias wrecker is back. dont come at me for gym terminology i go by vibes. replaced my gym crush with mingyu and this is what happened <3 i have a bonus/pt 2 in the drafts too but I'll wait to post it bc too much muscle pig mingyu is bad for the soul... and the [redacted]

to the anon that sent me a seok ask forever ago about his arms, im sorry i used it in this fic. but know i have a seok fic with exactly what you asked for in the works rn. everyone say thank you anon.

@bbychocolat do not hit my line about mingyu for at least 24 business hours i need to recover

Remember: Tumblr runs on reblogs and I run on validation in the tags and comments :)

read part II

Tags

@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @multifandom-worlds @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @crimson25 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @lokidokieokie @theallknown213 @alexakeyloveloki @tmilover1993 @yeaiamme2 @pigeonmama @yeehawbrothers @lokischambermaid @fictive-sl0th @nomajdetective @goblingirlsarah @foxherder @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck @lamentis-10 @jainaeatsstars @queenshu @justsebstan

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klausysworld · 2 months

Text

Nik Michaels

Klaus had been going back to the same little art shop for weeks now. His studio at home was stacked with paints but it didn't stop him going back at least once every few days.

The little bell chimed gently above the door as he stepped inside the cozy room. The scent of lavender floated through the room whilst the soft hum of music drifted past the selection of canvases and shelves.

His eyes immediately searched for her familiar face.

Y/N was handing a customer their receipt along with a beautifully decorated paper bag which contained whatever supplies they had bought. He moved out the buyers way when they headed for the door and took their place at the till.

"Hi Nik." She greeted, a smile on her face which he couldn't help but mirror.

"Busy day, sweetheart?" He asked as that damned bell rang again and a fellow artist made their way inside.

"Always busy in New Orleans!" She chirped, her eyes bright and keen as she waved at the other woman in the shop.

Klaus hummed faintly and tapped his fingers gently against the wood that stood between them. He waited relatively patiently for her to serve the woman before waiting for her attention again.

She turned back to him and gave him a cute little head tilt. "You can't possibly need more paint?" She laughed, the sound ran right along his spine and he felt his hairs stand on edge.

"Well paints aren't all you sell now are they, love?" He grinned and she shook her head.

"Pick whatever you like." She told him, gesturing to the contents of her shop making him push that little pout to his face.

"You aren't going to come out from behind there and help?" He questioned, tone playful. Her cheeks went an adorable shade of pink as she pushed the pointless gate that separated her and her customers to come over to his side.

Klaus smiled as she came over to him. He loved when he got to be so close. She was the kindest, most gentle hearted person he had ever met.

His eyes took in the soft, beautiful features of her face before trailing downwards. Her dress was a soft shade of blue in colour, one of his favourites. The bodice was fitted perfectly, the built in cups showing the perfect shape of each of her breasts before the aline skirt hid the rest of her curves. He glanced to the comfortable but never less than pretty flats that adorned her feet. Klaus loved that she never wore heels, kept her small and dainty.

Klaus was certain that even without his superhuman strength, it would be easy to pick her up, spin her around, lift her up, catch her, anything.

His eyes snapped back up to hers, taking in the way her irises swirled with colour. Suddenly the realisation dawned on him that her soft lips were moving, he tuned back into the conversation.

"Canvases? Or do you want something else like uh the dream catchers and things? I know you don't usually but there are some more...masculine ones you could have..." She offered, eyes darting round the room as she spoke about different things and thought of anything else she could offer him. "I have candles and incense? Uh...evil eyes? Some things to bring luck and stuff? You don't seem like a crystal guy..." She murmured, thinking aloud and he couldn't help but feel a little amused.

"Not particularly, but for you sweetheart I could be." He smirked and Y/N looked down with a smile.

"What did you come in for Nik?" She asked and he clicked his tongue.

"Well.." He muttered, his expression never dulling. "I came in hoping for a date...perhaps you have a spare evening this week?" Klaus proposed, his eyes wondering over her again without meaning to.

Y/N bit the inside of her cheek, it wasn't the first time he had asked for a date; in fact he asked pretty much every single time he walked in there.

"Nik-" She sighed softly and he huffed.

"Oh come on sweetheart! Just one dinner, one glass of wine...one kiss...one touch...one-"

"Nik!" She scolded and he groaned unseriously.

"Y/N..." He borderline whined and she giggled. "I'll buy every last brush in this store. Every last tube of paint, every sheet of paper, everything for one evening where you're mine and mine alone."

"If you buy everything it'll take me forever to restock." She shrugged and he swallowed down the little growl that his wolf produced.

"Then I'll spend all week helping you stack the shelves," He grinned and looked down at her, wanting nothing more than to grab her perfect little face and kiss that teasing smile right off her face. "I'll have to lift you up to help you reach those high shelves. Do tell me love, how did you get those up their?" Klaus asked as he eyed the beginners painting gift sets that rest far to high up for her adorable height to reach.

"Hm? Oh. My ex put them up there...they're just display ones, thats why people ask for them and I get some from out back." She explained and his light mood lowered.

"When was this ex last around?" He questioned, desperately trying to sound casual however it was anything but.

"Oh he doesn't come around here anymore." She told him simply but there was an underlying tone to her words.

"Did you end on good terms?" Klaus asked, curiosity obvious but also his concern.

"Uh...sure...you know, all breakups are messy." She mumbled, her attention on a little feather that dangled from a dream catcher she was fiddling with.

Klaus nodded silently, understanding that the topic needed to be dropped for the time being. He cleared his throat and picked the decoration from her hand.

"I like this one." He decided, whether it was because it was pretty or because she had touched it was unclear.

"You sure?" She checked, that smile on her face always contagious and it made him nod.

"Definitely."

"I'll bag it up for you" She told him, taking the dream catcher back and going back behind to the till. Klaus leaned against it, gazing at her as she picked a bag out for him. Each paper back was hand painted by her to be unique, there must have been hundreds ready and he couldn't help but wonder how much time she spent each week preparing them all. His eyes watched her hands wrap the item in a couple layers of tissue paper before gently placing it in the bag and placing it up in front of him. "Cash or card?" she asked, eyes back on his.

"Cash" He answered automatically, pulling out a fifty and she shook her head.

"Nik, no. No more big tips." She told him, borderline whined and he grinned.

"Oh love, you deserve the tips. Think of it as me paying for the bag." He offered a solution and she huffed.

"The dream catcher is $5. The paper bag is not worth $45." She argued and he shook his head.

"The bags are as beautiful as the item. And the dream catcher is worth more than $5" He countered and she sighed softly to herself as she reluctantly took the money from his fingers. "So...about that date" He brought up and she shot him a playful glare.

"I'm...very busy." She muttered and he hummed, clearly unconvinced.

"Perhaps you could schedule me in for next week then? Morning, afternoon, evening, middle of the night, it doesn't matter." He listed, becoming all the more eager, bordering on desperate.

"I'm just not ready for a relationship at the moment Nik and I don't think I could go on one date with you without wanting another." She sighed and he softened.

"Alright" He whispered with a nod. "I understand that..." He paused for a moment as he took the bag. "I can wait." He shrugged and her brows furrowed slightly.

"Wait?" She questioned and he nodded.

"I'm a patient man, I can wait for you to be ready." He told her and he meant it.

Y/N was human. She didn't know who or what he was. He wasn't Klaus Mikaelson the crazed hybrid, disgrace to the wolves and tyrant to the vampires, father to the tribrid and son to the original witch. He was just Nik, an artist. So simple yet it allowed him to be so much more. A man instead of a monster.

It was nice having Y/N's attention, she didn't have any twisted intentions. No ulterior motives, she wasn't evil or calculated, she was just kind and genuine.

"I'll still be coming here every week for paints and what not, then when you're ready I'll take you somewhere fancy." He winked and she laughed softly.

"I'll see you in a few days." She told him as he stepped back toward the door.

"I'll see you soon sweetheart."

And obviously he did. He came back all the time. Often giving her little paintings he had made with things from her shop. They could be seen hanging up in the back. Y/N lived in the apartment above her shop and almost never left the building, she had no need to unless she needed to go shopping. She went out for her weekly visit to town on Monday as it was the only day her art job closed. Klaus would almost always be roaming around the supermarket, waiting for her to show up so he could help pick out her dinners for the week and carry her bags home for her whilst she scolded him for trying to pay for her groceries.

Back home his family never knew where Klaus was going so often. All he said on a Monday morning was that he'd be back later to Hope and then would be gone for hours.

Never would any of them have thought he would be pushing a trolley round each aisle or juggling cartons round a shop.

Once he helped her get everything inside he would carry the bags up the steep steps leading from the back of her store but he never went into her apartment. She hadn't ever invited him in. He would just pass her bags over the threshold whilst she spoke to him from her kitchen as she put things away. When she came back out he would help her organise out back and sometimes he got to decorate the paper bags with her, swirling beautiful patterns and scenes across the material.

He'd only leave when it got dark and she became hungry, not without offering to take her out of course. Inevitably Klaus would go home in a strangely good mood, taking Hope to bed and reading her a story before going to his own room with only one thing or person on his mind.

Hayley, Rebekah and Freya would all hold the same look, knowing that Klaus was in over his head. Elijah would shake his head every time at their childish giggles and tell them to leave Niklaus alone, not that Klaus seemed the slightest bit aware. He was sure that he was very discreet about his visits.

But they all would get nosey each time he came down the stairs, skip in his usually dull step, a smile on his usually grumpy face. The girls would start to whisper and even Marcel would crack a joke every now and then. Klaus however, remained oblivious.

He hung around Y/N like a love-stuck puppy, bringing flowers and sketches for her to enjoy. But one day when he walked in, the little bell didn't ring.

A frown settled upon his face as he noticed the item on the ground. "Y/N?" He called, picking up the bell and walking further in. He heard a crash from out back and immediately pushed past the gate. Y/N was yelling incoherently, crying and backing away from a very rageful man.

A switch flicked in Klaus's mind.

Y/N sat in the corner of the room, face in her knees and hands over her ears whilst Klaus mercilessly beat the man until he couldn't blubber a word. The guy was dragged out into the alley round the back of the building, propped up by the bin and told that should he try to move, Klaus would pick him apart limb by limb.

Klaus went back to Y/N, his hands bloody so he wiped them on his shirt before taking her face into his hold only to see light bruising starting to form across the top of her cheek. His arms moved to pick her up, carrying her upstairs.

"I need you to invite me in, love." He told her, ignoring her confusion and making her say the words that allowed him inside. Once she was sat down on her sofa, blanket draped over her shoulders and an ice pack in hr hand, she started to calm down.

Her gaze stayed on Klaus as he cleaned his surprisingly unbruised hands in the kitchen sink. His henley was stained, finger smears of blood that made her feel sick.

"Who was that man?" Klaus demanded, voice much colder than she had ever heard it. It frightened her.

"He's my ex-" She told her, voice wobbly as she sniffed.

"I thought he didn't come round here?" He snapped and she flinched.

"He's not meant to...I have a restraining order" She whimpered and Klaus swallowed, trying to push his anger down. It wasn't directed at her, it was at the man bleeding out downstairs.

He wasn't thinking straight, but he knew that he needed to stop yelling. If Y/N had been in a presumably abusive relationship before then witnessing Klaus almost killing a man would not bode well for him. Being too loud, too aggressive in his movements would scare her more.

His hands rubbed down his face, trying to conjure ideas on how to fix everything. Klaus considered compelling her but he was certain that it would come back to bite him in the ass. He didn't want to be a vampire to her, a hybrid. He couldn't heal her, it would complicate things further.

What would a human do? He wondered, glancing over at her tear-stained face as she looked up at him silently begging for help.

"Should I...call the police?" He sort of offered, feeling strangely nervous. He thought maybe it was the right thing to do. He would compel his way out of any charges of course but at least to Y/N he would be a good person doing the right thing.

"No..." Y/N whispered and he was a little surprised when she shook her head. "You'll be in trouble."

"I won't...it'll be ruled as defence of innocent life, I didn't attack him, he attacked you and I stopped him. He's in the wrong." Klaus argued, voice much gentler now.

"You don't know him...he has ties and connections, the police will ruin you, you'll be taken away. He's not gonna come back...you scared him but if you take him to court he'll win. I only got the restraining order because I gave everything for it." She explained. Klaus hated how vulnerable she was because of that man.

"Okay" He murmured, nodding. "We should get you to a doctor though, you're still hurt."

"It's just bruising, nothings broken, I'd know." She uttered, her eyes glancing down momentarily in shame.

Klaus knew that he would have her ex strung up by his own intestines. Tearing him apart from the inside out and watching the fear and horror leave his face when death took his filthy soul.

Cautiously, he sat down beside her and helped her over to him to hold her in a comforting hug. Her tears began quiet before they developed into broken sobs that she must’ve been holding in for so long. Klaus understood now why she wasn't ready for him but he made her a promise that he would wait and he would continue to uphold that by being there for her so that she may heal.

Later that day once Y/N had cried herself to sleep, Klaus went out back to move her ex-boyfriend. He put him down in the dungeons of the abattoir before returning to the shop and cleaning everything up. Putting every last piece of paper back on their shelf, he picked up the torn bags that Y/N had made and put them in the bin before spending his night making a hundred more to replace them.

The next day Y/N didn't come downstairs, he could hear her lead in bed, sniffling away to herself. He didn't want to make her come down so he ran the shop for her, serving customers and packaging things the way he had seen her do and restocking shelves at the end of the day so that everything was perfect like she had it. He locked the front up for her and went upstairs, going through her cupboards to cook her something for dinner.

Her tired little self had shuffled into the room once the inviting smell travelled through her door and enticed her presence.

Klaus brought her the plate of food to the little kitchen island and helped her onto the chair. "It wasn't too busy today but it wasn't too quiet either." He told her whilst getting her some water.

"You worked for me?" She whispered and he nodded.

"Course I did, I'm not the only artist who relies on your shop." He told her, a playful element to his words to make her smile.

"Thank you" She whispered earnestly. "For today and yesterday."

"We don't need to remember yesterday." He murmured, shaking his head.

"You didn't do anything wrong... you saved me."

"Right place, right time." He argued and she scoffed softly but he wouldn't let her contradict him.

Eventually they just agreed to disagree and they tidied everything up before Klaus went home.

He got in and went straight to Hope's room, apologising for being gone so long and promising to take her out for the whole day tomorrow.

They went for ice cream, to the park, for afternoon tea and to a soft-play. All women loved seeing a dedicated father, especially an attractive one. However no matter how many mothers hit on him or how many by passers would flirt, Klaus wouldn't bat an eye. Y/N was at the centre of his mind all of the time when it came to women. He barely noticed the amount of eyes on him, the attention he usually craved.

Now the only eyes he needed on him were hers.

Weeks passed by of him continuing his routine of dropping by. Her ex-boyfriend was long gone and very mutilated. He fell harder and harder for her, he could've stared at her for lifetimes. Sometimes he would linger around the shop until she gave in and asked if he wanted to use her art studio upstairs, it was smaller than his at home but felt much more intimate. It was as though he could see her every feeling sprawled out across the walls, the floor, everything everywhere. He ended up with his own rack on canvases in her studio which he would add to as often as she let him.

He waited a fair amount of time before he got to take her out. She met him outside of her shop, dressed as gorgeous as ever when he pulled up beside her in his car. He got out to open the passenger door for her, making sure she knew how much she brightened his evening.

Y/N was a little quiet on the drive there, her walls were up when it came to dating and he knew that and made sure not to push his limits.

Dinner was as sweet as expected, he behaved as the perfect gentleman to charm her and treat her correctly. There was never a moment of doubt or a second she felt even the slightest bit uncomfortable. Everything seemed to flow perfectly.

At the end he brought her home and made sure she got in okay. There were no kisses but he had expected that and didn't mind. Klaus was too overjoyed that he had finally gotten to take her out to be stressed over a kiss.

Oh but once he got that first kiss, he never wanted a day without one.

Klaus wasn't a touchy person usually. However whenever given the opportunity to have hand on his girl? Whether it be the small of her back, her hip, her waist, her hand, her knee? It didn't matter where, so long as she was happy and comfortable.

Once the relationship started rolling, it seemed to have a smooth journey. Klaus had practically moved into her apartment.

He was always curled up around her on the sofa, tickling her sides and nuzzling her hair while she tried to finish a drawing off. Often they would both be in her little studio, getting paint everywhere as they tried to create a joint painting. Klaus would always be there for at least one out of the three meals.

After a couple months of dates and kisses, he told her something really important; that he was a father.

Y/N had been shocked and a little upset that he hadn't told her sooner but eventually she understood why he didn't want to broadcast it.

"It's nothing to do with you, my love. I wouldn't have told any woman until I..." He paused, he wasn't sure this was the right time to say he loved her. "Until I really care about them, If I had told you then I would have introduced you and I couldn't do that unless I was sure...everything's much more complicated when a child's involved." Klaus explained.

"I get it Nik, I do. I just- I need some time to digest it, okay?" She sighed and he felt his heart sink as he nodded, kissed her head and headed home.

He loved Y/N and it would break his heart but if she couldn't be apart of Hope's life ever then she couldn't be apart of his, not truly.

A few days went by, he gave her some space and didn't come by the shop, before he received a message from her asking if he would come over. Klaus knew he would never let her go after that. He let her meet Hope only a week later, watched as she pushed his daughter on the swings and went down the slide with her on her lap. Hope was still young, only just getting ready to start school so she latched onto Y/N easily.

Everything moulded together so beautifully. To him, they were the little family he had secretly craved. A family where hatred was non-existent. Love was truly boundless and honest.

Arguments were rare and were over surprisingly fast. Klaus was used to endless grudges and growing hatreds against everyone but not her and Hope. There wasn't a bad thing to say about either of them.

But it was getting difficult for a few reasons.

The main one being that he was keeping a lot of secrets. She didn't even know his name. To her he was Nik Michaels. Not Niklaus Mikaelson. He was human, an artist who was doing really well and had lots of foreign buyers. She knew he had a big family, he had mentioned some names and stories here and there but it was strongly implied that they didn't speak anymore. Y/N wouldn't have ever guessed that he was living with them. She didn't know where he lived, just assumed he hadn't ever taken her before because she'd never asked and because of Hope.

Another growing issue for Klaus was his need for further intimacy. He had so much understanding for how she felt and how she had been treated in the past, he wouldn't voice his desires but they were slowly driving him crazy.

The amount of masterbation he had engaged in since he met her was making his balls hurt. As a man who had never really had such tight loyalty to a woman or had to wait so long for any sort of sexual contact, the past months drove his body crazy. Especially with how perfect she was.

Sometimes when they'd snuggle up he'd feel himself get all hard again, he'd ignore it for as long as possible before it became painful. It was unclear as to whether Y/N was unaware or choosing to ignore what was happening when he would disappear to another room to try to ease the tension.

There had been a lot of times that he had smelt her lovely arousal, often when making out or lead in bed but she never addressed it either so he knew she wasn't ready.

Klaus knew she wasn't ready to have sex but he wondered if she was ready for anything else.

So when she was laid against him on the sofa beneath a blanket with a romantic film playing in front of her, he let his hands slip downwards. He mirrored the actions of the man on the screen, letting his fingers disappear under her waist band and graze over her panties. Y/N's hand held onto his shirt at his shoulder, she was tense but nodded silently. Klaus's fingers pet her clit through the cotton barrier, varying his pressure and direction. A series of little mewls and gasps left her soft lips whilst her head went down, her face pressing into his shoulder as her hips rolled against his hand and wrist. "You feel so lovely." He whispered as he pulled her underwear aside and coated his fingers in her wetness.

Y/N held onto him so tightly, her breathing messy and unpredictable as she whimpered. "Please Nik, please keep going."

Klaus groaned at the sound of her begging and eagerly obliged. He leant down to kiss her forehead softly to keep her comforted as he circled his fingers over her sweet little jewel. He was slightly hesitant to let his middle finger sink into her but after another minute of her delicate little moans he let her tight heat encase his skin.

The sound she produced was pornographic and her hips thrust forward with desperation. Klaus felt her nails break through his shirt and dig into his skin making hiss in a pained delight and pump a second finger within her velvet walls.

"Nik!" She cried beautifully and he leaned down to kiss below her ear before nipping her earlobe. Her moans fuelled his wrist to move faster, push deeper. The slippery swollen clit beneath the pad of his thumb felt as though it was buzzing as her face pushed right into his neck, a muffled call leaving her as she came undone.

Klaus eased his fingers out of her gently and gradually slowed the stroke of his thumb before pulling his hand out from under the covers and sucking her taste from them. His eyes rolled back and his tongue licked over his bottom lip to catch the drip.

He looked down to look at Y/N as her chest rose and fell dramatically with each breath and her hair stuck to the back of her neck making him push the blanket down a bit to help her cool.

Klaus kissed her cheek before turning her head with his hand to feel those lips he loved so dearly against his own. He loved how she panted into their kiss, stealing all the air from his lungs and letting him be blessed with another soft little moan he had dreamt of for months.

He pulled away slowly and kissed her lips a few more times, looking down at her eyes through his own and enjoying her disheveled state.

"I love you." Klaus whispered, his eyes darting between hers to gage her reaction.

"I love you too." She replied without missing a beat making him release a breath and kissing her again for a little longer to really saver that feeling.

From that day Klaus almost lived in her little apartment. He restocked shelves in the evening, helped her cook, helped clean and then snuggled until bed. Hope had been coming round a few days in the week, not sleeping over because he didn't want to raise alarm bells with his family and also because there wasn't room but she came over to play after the store closed and on Mondays when it was closed they would often drive out of town to go to softplays and parks.

A couple times Hope had accidentally called Y/N 'Mommy'. Every time Hope would either feel really bad and cry or wouldn't notice at all, no in between. Klaus would calm her down and tell her that Y/N didn't mind and that they knew she didn't mean it to upset her real mommy. Y/N would just soften even more. Being a parent was something she did want one day and knowing that to Hope she was good enough to be called her mommy gave her such joy and love for the sweet child.

Klaus and Y/N never mentioned having children. It was a little difficult with them living separately and her working nearly everyday so it wasn't brought up. They didn't think nor worry about that.

Well...not until she wound up pregnant.

Klaus had just unlocked the door to come inside, bouquet of flowers in his hand and smile on his face before he heard her soft sniffles from the bathroom. His face dropped and he quickly shoved the door open.

His brows furrowed before his eyes widened as he looked around. At least five pregnancy tests were littered on the floor around her as she curled into herself and cried.

Slowly he picked one up and read that magic little word. Klaus swallowed thickly and knelt down to wrap his arms around Y/N's frame.

"It's alright, love." He whispered to her. His hands rubbed her back and sides gently whilst he focused his hearing on her body, listening for that faint little beat of their baby's heart.

Her head shook with a sniff as she leaned against him. "I can't afford a baby...it's too soon. I'm not- I was gonna wait at least a couple years, we haven't been together long enough-"

Klaus tried to shush her gently but her breathing became more and more rapid and her words started to blur together. Klaus could feel the worry building except he was worrying for two now.

"Y/N" He murmured, cupping her teary face in his hands. "We'll figure this out. I'm gonna be here, I can afford this okay? You can't worry about that. Just... just worry about your health and our baby." He trailed as his hand slid down her front to her tummy.

Y/N looked up at him through glassy eyes before glancing at his hand. She was quiet for the longest time, staying on the floor as he cleaned up the tests, throwing all but one out.

He made sure she ate something for dinner before going to bed with her, snuggling close and whispering about how beautiful their little boy or girl would be.

Y/N went back to work the next day, despite Klaus trying to persuade her that he could run the shop whilst she had a few days to herself.

So whilst she ran the art store, he started looking at real-estate nearby. He knew that they would need a house with at least three bedrooms if not four; one for them, one for the baby and one for Hope. If he could get a four bed it could be a playroom and then one day another bedroom. Klaus worried a bit over how his family would be, if they'd let him take Hope. Of course Hayley would have her half the time but he knew Hayley and he knew she wouldn't want split custody. But he couldn't leave Y/N and their child so he'd have to get it to work.

In the early months of Y/N's pregnancy everything was normal. Klaus kept up his visits, took her to doctors appointments and hid little sonograms in his room at home.

Though they didn't stay there long before he found a house.

It was perfect.

Five bedrooms, two of which were en suites with showers. A separate bathroom upstairs with both bath and shower and then a smaller one downstairs. The kitchen was spacious and had a lot of potential which Klaus immediately took advantage of and had people in and out all of the time to fit the marble countertops. Then he had an island fitted for the mental image of his cute little family having breakfast still dressed in their pyjamas and slippers. He still had a dining table for their evening meals and for when Hope got older and wanted to invite friends over or anything. He also furnished the living-room to be comfy and inviting with a beautiful fireplace and everything.

Klaus had lived in many houses, mansions, apartments but they were never a home. They were soulless, empty buildings that he just floated around so this time he wanted to make it homey and special. Warm, comfortable and full of life.

Once Y/N was six, almost seven months pregnant, Klaus told he had a surprise for her that required her to be blindfolded. She had yawned and told him that she was too tired which made him chuckle before leading her into the car.

When he took the cloth away from her eyes she was faced with such a stereotypical sight; that big white picket fenced house with a lovely lawn covered in flowers and berry plants.

Klaus wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting both hands on her now prominent baby-bump whilst placing a kiss to her temple.

"I know you were worried about raising our little one in your flat...The house is all ready for us, I'll keep your apartment above the shop so that you still have it and I’ll run the art store whilst you’re on maternity- We can have your things moved here- though I did buy some new-" He kept rambling but Y/N spun round and pushed her lips to his to shut him up.

She pulled away after a moment and rest her head in the crook of her neck, Klaus nuzzled into her hair before he realised she was sniffling back tears.

"What's wrong, my love?" He whispered and she wiped her eyes.

"Nothing...it's just perfect...you're perfect." She whimpered and he smiled, holding her tight. He chuckled softly, her pregnancy hormones had made her so teary over the smallest things but he didn't mind.

"You want to go see inside?" He asked her and she nodded vigorously, holding onto his hand as he lead her to the doorway.

He showed her the downstairs before taking her to their bedroom. On the bedside table was a framed sonogram and a framed positive pregnancy test. Y/N was a sniffling mess in seconds and Klaus was kissing all over her face to try calm those cries away. She was a mess when he brought her to the nursery, it wasn't decorated yet, only a simple crib in the room.

"I couldn't design this room without you." He whispered, stroking her bump as he did so.

That night Y/N and Klaus cooked for the first time in their new house, snuggled by their never before used fireplace and then went up to their new bed.

Klaus helped her our of her maternity clothes, shushing her when she told him she was gross like this. "You're gorgeous like this, I love that you're pregnant with our baby." He told her as he unclipped her bra making her whimper.

"I just want it out of me now." She sniffed, trying to cover her body with her arms and hands but he wouldn't let her.

"I love your body, it's always beautiful." He promised while pushing her to lay down on her back. Klaus wiped away the little tears that gathered in the corners of her eyes and kissed her sweet lips. His hands slid up to gently cup her swollen breasts, caressing them softly and kissing her jaw.

"We can't have sex like this...I look like-"

"You look like an angel." He cut her off, refusing to hear her talk bad about herself. He trailed his lips down her neck to her chest before sucking little red marks into her breasts. Klaus listened to her whimper, glancing up to check she wasn't hurting from how sore she was becoming lately. He smiled when he saw the look of pleasure in her eyes and slipped his hand down between her thighs where it belonged.

He stroked her pussy gently, feeling how wet she was without him having to do anything. Klaus knew Y/N needed him, his body, much more then she would ask for because she had become so self-conscious since getting a little bigger. Klaus found it silly that she could think being full of his child would make her less attractive, if anything it made her ten times sexier. Of course he knew that sometimes she was too tired but there were many occasions when she needed him and he knew it but wouldn't want him to touch her.

Tonight he felt the strong need to satisfy his love. So he circled her clit rhythmically whilst getting his pants off as swiftly as possible.

Y/N had no time to protest before his cock was burying inside her. She whimpered loudly and rolled her head to the side. "Nik..." She moaned and he groaned, leaning down to kiss her cheek round to her lips.

Y/N was desperate for the feel of his mouth on hers, the thrust of his cock between her walls and the grip of his hands on her hips but she couldn't help but worry about how she looked and she only knew she was going to get bigger in the remaining three months. Her eyes glanced down at her belly and the was he tried his best not to touch it as his hips rocked up against hers. Their lips parted and he cupped the side of her face.

"I'm just making sure I don't hurt the baby is all." He whispered, noticing her sad stare. "Don't think I don't want to touch you all over." He purred into her ear before sucking her earlobe between his teeth. "Once our little one is born and you're all rested I'll make sure you remember how good it feels when I get rough, hm?" He murmured whilst kissing the side of her face.

Y/N nodded stiffly and pushed her face into the crook of his neck, just focusing on the heat of his skin on hers and the electricity running in their veins.

Klaus kept his body moving, bucking his hips just right to make her moan into his skin. His hand kept playing with her swollen clit, teasing her closer and closer.

He grew more needy for her cunt to clamp down as he felt himself leak a few drops inside her. Klaus was grateful that she couldn't see his face when his eyes went gold and his fangs elongated, threatening her flavoursome flesh. Y/N could feel his breathing against her shoulder as his fingers dug into her sides.

"That's it, love-" He gasped, thrusting faster before slowing and giving a few slow, calculated plunges of his cock before feeling her sweet pussy squeeze tighten and gush around him. Klaus released a fast breath, urging his hybrid features to go away when he felt her shift beneath him, whispering if he was okay. He forced the fangs back in, the gold away and the veins to fade beneath his eyes as he felt her insecurities start to bubble.

Klaus pushed up on his arms, leaning down to kiss her deeply. His hands caressed up and down her body, making sure not to leave an inch of her untouched before he pulled himself out of her and slid his hands under her.

"Oh god- Nik don’t even try-" She protested but he picked her up with ease, much to her surprise, and carried her to their en suite bathroom.

Y/N went quiet at how easily he seemed to hold her as he ran a bath. Then lowered her into the warm water and continued to clean the sweat from her body and lean down to leave a display of kisses on her already marked up skin.

She couldn't help but just gaze at him as he let her relax amongst the bubbles and washed himself in the glass shower. The hybrid smirked to himself as he felt his love's eyes on him as the water ran down the length of his body. He cast a few looks her way, admiring her shy smile as she sunk into the water though that beautiful bump of hers still peaked up at him.

Once they were both out they laid down in the now clean bed. (Klaus had managed to secretly use his vampire speed to change all the bedding). They curled up together and drifted to a peaceful sleep.

The weeks seemed to go so fast, Klaus kept forgetting to go home to the point where his siblings actually thought something bad had happened.

Which was why when Klaus had gone grocery shopping for the two of them, Y/N was home alone to answer the door to three of his siblings.

Rebekah, Elijah and Freya all held threatening stances as they glared down the door, expecting a witch or a vampire. None of them were expecting nine-month-pregnant, overly emotional and tired young woman to answer the door.

She looked back at them a little confused and frightened when she realised they did not look friendly and she did not recognise them form the little neighbourhood she and Klaus had been getting to know. She shifted on her feet and placed a protective hand on her pregnant tummy.

"Can I help you?" She asked, voice soft and clearly nervous making the three siblings share a few looks. Elijah was about to apologise and claim they had the wrong house but Rebekah got in first.

"Do you know Klaus?" She questioned, tone coming out too harsh making Elijah wince.

"Uhm no...I'm sorry, I don't think anyone called Klaus lives close. Uh... two streets over theres a Clyde?" She tried to be helpful and it was obvious to all three of them that this girl wasn't going to have the answers they were looking for.

"We're very sorry for the intrusion miss." Elijah apologised, silently urging his sisters to leave this woman alone. "I think we got the wrong street, I hope you can forgive us." He told her earnestly and she nodded.

"It's okay...theres a lot of roads its easy to go down the wrong one- oh!" She cut herself off with a cry and they all went tense. Elijah stepped forward offering his arm for her to grab and squeeze painfully and she yelled out in pain.

"Rebekah! Start the car!" He called, wrapping his arm round the woman and helping her out the house. "Freya? Where's the closest hospital?" He questioned whilst squeezing her hand as her breathing started to level out.

"It's okay" Y/N whimpered, not wanting to give birth without Nik.

"Of course it's okay darling. Has your water broke yet?" Elijah asked, guiding her to the car.

"Yeah- It went just before you knocked... I was about to call- Oh god Nik- my phone I can't-" Her breathing picked up again but this time in a panic before another contraction came and she cried out, clutching his hand for dear life.

"It's alright, it's alright. The hospital will have his number, is he your next of kin?" He asked and she nodded, relaxing at the realisation and letting him ease her into the car.

Rebekah drove like a mad women, trying to keep conversation flowing; name, age, family, future plans. Freya was talking through breathing exercises and Elijah kept himself as a human stress ball.

Once they pulled up at the hospital they were all rushing in, yelling that they needed nurses, doctors anything to help this woman.

Surprisingly they all remained in the waiting room for a couple hours after feeling a strange bond with the mother-to-be after finding and helping her.

None of them really linked the fact that her boyfriend’s name being Nik could have been Niklaus, especially with how confused she was when they said Klaus.

So nobody was ready for Klaus to come rushing through the hospital, barging past anything and shoving the door open.

A silence fell over the three for the first time in years as they just stared at the closed door. Nobody moved for ages, even as Klaus dashed in and out of the room for more ice-chips, they just stayed put.

Occasionally one of them would go to the bathroom or to get a sandwich from a vending machine but they didn't even consider leaving the hospital until they heard the cries of a beautiful newborn baby.

Rebekah physically relaxed, collapsing in her seat when she was sure that the baby was okay. Hayley received a vague text that they'd be home sometime in the next couple days before they got back to patiently waiting for Y/N To be well enough.

The next morning the door opened and all three of them got up to their feet at the sight of Klaus with his arms around Y/N and her arms around the sweetest little baby ever.

"Oh. Those are the lovely people I told you about." She told Klaus, looking straight at them making Klaus turn his head.

His face dropped when he saw them and her heart-rate spiked. He tried to shake his head, to get out of this but he was panicking.

Y/N didn't know about the supernaturals. She didn't know about all his siblings. She didn't know he was Klaus. She didn't know anywhere near enough to be dealing with any of it right after giving birth.

"That's...that's very...kind of them." He choked out, trying to get anything out of him.

"We should thank them, they didn't need to stay." She whispered to him and he hesitantly nodded.

"I'll thank them, you get him into the car okay my love? He needs to get away from all these sick people." He told her, kissing her head and then his son's.

"No- Nik, come on lets just go say thank you." She argued, tiredly and made her way over making him hurry after her and keep his hand on her so they couldn't get too close.

He glared them down, daring them to say a word as Y/N thanked them so so much for getting her there safely and talking to her. She showed them the baby and Elijah worried that Klaus might actually snap when Rebekah asked to hold him.

"I think he's a little tired, probably best to get him home. Come on love, we all need rest." He urged and Freya nodded, putting a hand on Rebekah's shoulder.

"He's right, they need to get settled. Maybe one day we'll get to see the little man again." She agreed but the underlying question was there as to whether Klaus was ever planning to come clean about whatever was going on.

He let out a sigh and slipped his hand round to hold his son's tiny hand.

"Perhaps. Now we really need to leave." He was getting frustrated and Y/N was confused.

He lead her away and she looked up at him.

"Nik...is something wrong? Do you know them?" She asked as they got out the door and a frown swirled across his features.

"It's...I'm gonna explain it later okay? I just need you both inside and safe and comfy, I just..." He swallowed down his worry and strapped their little boy into the carseat. "I love you." He told her, standing up straight and cupping her face.

"I love you too...I don't understand what that-"

"It doesn't, I just need you to know how much I adore you." He whispered and she smiled.

"I love you too." She kissed his lips softly. "Nothing's going to change that." She promised and Freya, Elijah and Rebekah listened from round the corner with soft smiles on their faces.

Everything was going to be different when they got home. Klaus was worried. His son had just been born, healthy and perfect. He had planned to bring them home, feed her a lovely dinner and possibly propose to her.

He had chosen the most gorgeous ring. Klaus wanted to be with her forever, especially now that they had a new little angel that they shared. He hadn't ever had such a normal, domesticated relationship.

The house, the kids.

If they got a pet his life would be every movie ever.

But now he had to ruin it all. He had to reveal the worst parts about himself.

How would his darling Y/N react when she found out he was a serial-killing monster who's haunted millions of people for hundreds of years. Or that he daggered his own siblings, tortured innocents and sacrificed teenagers.

Could she forgive that? Should she love him? Would she even want someone like that near such a delicate baby boy?

Klaus stared at himself in the mirror, tucking the ring box back into his hiding place and taking a breath as he tried to ready himself.

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killerpancakeburger · 3 months

Text

PULL ME CLOSER

SUMMARY: After a mission gone wrong, Soap narrowly cheats death. When visiting him in his hospital bed, overwhelming relief emboldens you, making you do something you regret. So you flee, resolved to avoid Sergeant MacTavish until the end of your days.

But Johnny is done letting you slip through his fingers.

Part 1. Part 2.

PAIRING: Soap x f!Reader (reader has boobs, that's it)

TAGS: A pinch of angst, then tooth rotting fluff, Civilian!Reader, Anxious!Reader, Depressed!Reader, inexperienced!Reader, Desperate!Soap, Soft!Soap, mutual pining, first kiss, confessions, dirty talk, making out. Bit of a chase, but it's fluffy. Protective!Ghost bordering on controlling but he works on it. Swears, blood mention, injuries, miilitary inaccuracies, suggestive content.

WORDS COUNT: 5.6k

A/N: aaaAAAH F I N A L L Y! ITS KISSING TIME BABEYYY 💋 For @glitterypirateduck COD Vacation Mode challenge, prompts 32 with Ghost and 58 with Soap.

"Hey author, this is Soap x Reader, why is Ghost there...?" Because he just! Won't! Leave! 🙃 *you can now picture me trying to push him out of the room with all my meager strength but he doesn't budge an inch*

As you pace around the office for the umpteenth time, you can tell from the glint in Ghost's eyes that he's seconds away from telling you to take a seat and stop writhing uselessly.

When did you become so accustomed to the taciturn Lieutenant's expressions - or more accurately, lack of -, that you could figure out what was going on behind the mask? You couldn’t remember.

He's been keeping his gaze on you since you've sat down after learning the harrowing news; or, more exactly, since he's sat down and you've been fidgeting relentlessly.

You're feeling like a shark - to stop moving won't kill you, but it will cause the whole world to come crashing down. It will allow reality to become clearer, sharper, inescapable.

The arrival of Price in the room captures his lieutenant's attention before he can scold you. Gaz follows close behind. He offers you a reassuring smile before his captain addresses you.

“He's going to make it.”

Relief overwhelms you with just those five words; a colossal wave close to sending you tumbling down. Ghost's mask fails to hide his own calming.

Price sets his hands on his hips. His voice is gruffed but composed.

“All he needs now is rest… and some blood.”

“I'll do it,” you blurt out resolutely, taking a step towards your boss.

“No,” snarls Ghost, tone adamant.

You snap around to stare at him in shock and disbelief. He never raised his voice at you before. And, most importantly, he never tried to dictate your behavior.

“Who do you think you are?! I'm not one of your fucking recruits-”

Price loudly coughs in his fist.

“Easy there.”

He raises both hands in appeasement. “We don’t even know if you're compatible.”

“I'm a universal donor,” you counter immediately, determination unaltered.

“Course ya are,” scoffs Ghost derisively.

You glare at him with open animosity. What the fuck is wrong with him!?

“What is that even supposed to mean!?”

You throw your arms up in irritation.

“Enough! Both of you.”

John's tone extinguishes your shout with redoubtable efficiency. He's already not someone you would dare cross on casual days, but hearing him raise his voice makes you sheepish.

Nonetheless, you turn towards him, outraged and betrayed. "Both"!? Why both!? I'm not the one being an asshole for no reason!

“You've done this before?” the captain asks, looking at you.

You nod vigorously.

He indicates the door with his chin.

“Fine, then. Go see the nurses to set you up.”

You bolt out of the room without further ado, determined to not let Ghost get another word in. But you can still hear one last sentence as you hasten.

“As for you, Simon…It is none of your business.”

Giving blood has never been a walk in the park. Every time, you have to actively handle your nerves; resort to trusty relaxation methods, such as focusing on your breathing, or counting the tiles on the ceiling.

The stab of the needle is unpleasant, to say the least, but the wait between the jab and the removal is almost as challenging.

Nonetheless, you've done this before, you succeeded, and for Johnny, you'd be willing to do it for hours.

Power of will doesn't compensate blood loss however, and when you get up from the bed, you feel dizzy, your bandaged arm sore and stiff. The idea of meeting with Soap shortly helps you power through, and soon enough you’re sitting at a table in the canteen, empty at this hour of the day, stuffing your face with whatever snacks and drinks have been put aside to aid your recovery.

With nothing but concern for Johnny busying your mind, you end up eavesdropping on a couple of nearby cafeteria employees.

“You think that's really him?”

“Ain't that many guys going around with a skull mask.”

“I heard he killed a man with only a pen…”

Your eyes widen at the mention of a mask, and you groan in annoyance before turning around to see where the staff is looking.

Near the entrance, casually leaning against the wall, arms crossed, Ghost is watching over you like an overzealous bodyguard. He finally swapped his mission outfit for his trademark black hoodie and grey sweatpants.

Exasperation flashes through you and you proceed to fling at him a cake wrapped in plastic. Your aim's never been anything to be proud of, but he's large enough that you manage to brush his shoulder.

“Get away from me, you creep!” you yell loud enough to be heard by him.

He gives you an inscrutable gaze before leaving the room, probably settling right on the other side of the door, not one to admit defeat so easily.

Minutes later, you leave the room to visit Soap, and observe with spiteful satisfaction that you were right - Ghost adopted the same position as before, against the corridor's wall. You glower at him as you pass by, and of course he remains unfazed.

You scoff with irritation before deciding to ignore him and focus on Johnny, accelerating the pace.

“Wait.”

You halt with a vexed sigh.

“If you intend to berate me again, I'm not gonna stand there and take it.”

“I know what you’re doing.”

You pivot to face him, exasperated by his sibylline remarks. He moved away from the wall and approached you while you had your back on him.

“Once again, what is that even supposed to mean?”

His cryptic attitude makes your blood boil with anger, one that could almost mask the feelings of hurt and betrayal he begets inside you. At some point, you've genuinely started to believe that you two became some kind of friends. Turns out that you've been naively imagining things this whole time.

“The whole self-sacrificing bullshit.”

You stare in incomprehension, searching his concealed features vainly for a clue, wishing you could rip that stupid mask off his face.

“I'm not sacrificing myself. It's just a bit of blood.”

He crosses his arms.

“We have stocks for that. And it's not just that. When he got into trouble with Price for making you skip work, you tried to take all the blame.”

“He did it to cheer me up-”

He keeps talking like you didn’t intervene.

“And when he pummeled that officer, you pretended it was all your fault.”

“I-”

“Luckily for you, Price's no sucker.”

You wince with distress.

“I just wanted to help. I hate being… feeling useless.”

“That's my problem. I swear it feels like you’d slash your own wrists if you thought it would ‘help’.”

You grimace but do not contradict him. It's actually kind of scary how much he figured you out.

“Let him take responsibility for his actions. He may look impulsive most of the time, but he knows what he's doing.”

Arms folded, you gaze fixedly at the floor in silence, not knowing what to add.

“I’m sorry.”

He talked loud enough to be understood, but the content of his sentence makes you doubt what he said as much as if he whispered. You stare at him with wide eyes, speechless. It's not that you categorically believe Ghost incapable of self-reflection, but at the same time, he's always striked you more as the type to never admit any weakness - except maybe in front of a trusted superior and longtime friend like Price.

“Shouldn't have tried to boss you around. Only made things worse. What happened with Johnny… made me…”

He acts like articulating an apology out loud has on him the effect of enthusiastically biting into a lemon - an irresistible temptation to annoy him emerges inside you. No harm in a little well-deserved payback.

“On edge? Touchy? Cranky? Irrita-”

“That'll do. Go, now.”

You turn away with an amused smile on your lips.

Witnessing the wounded sergeant in a hospital's bed is like a punch to the stomach. Maybe an actual punch would be more merciful.

Inside you, gratitude for his miraculous survival battles against sorrow caused by his pitiful state. An impressive bandage is wrapped around his head, one arm secured in a cast, the other bearing a couple of compresses. His face is littered with scratches and contusions.

When he notices you, frozen on the threshold, he beams.

“How's my little firecracker doing?”

That nickname. That damn nickname. He started using it after he caught you red-handed giving the middle finger to a rude officer who was leaving your office just as Soap was entering it. You tolerated it until you realized it was a reference to his love of explosions and all things blow-able, which made you ridiculously pleased, yet self-conscious all at once.

Your legs were already unsteady, so the complimentary alias almost finished you off.

“That's my line, you Scottish bastard.” you retort, voice devoid of hostility despite the insult.

Closing the gap between you two with a few strides, you stop at what you consider a respectable distance.

“Why, I'm alive and kicking. No need fer ye to look so dejected.”

You scoff, both annoyed and moved by the attempt to console you. It's unbearable to see him so shattered and yet so upbeat, while you don't have a scratch but came so close to breaking down.

“I hate you,” you mumble.

“Ye love me.”

If you only knew… you wouldn’t dare to joke like that.

You smile ruefully, despite yourself.

“I'm serious. For a moment I…I really thought you… you weren't going to… shit.”

You furiously blink to get rid of the rising tears stinging your eyes, looking away shamefully.

“Hey, hey, hey, c'mere.”

He pats one side of the bed with his free hand invitingly. You obey, positioning yourself near the mattress close enough to touch. He grabs one of your hands and gently squeezes it.

“M sorry.”

His tone is gruff, maybe a bit abashed. A pang of culpability pierces your heart.

“What could you be sorry for? You were doing your job. I need to get over it.”

You’re not mine to lose.

“Fer makin’ ye cry. I hate it.”

Why does he have to be so kind?

You persist in trying to prove that you’re the one in the wrong here, not him.

“I shouldn't be crying. You’re the one who went through hell.”

He snorts.

“What's so funny?”

“Not funny, just… Ye didn’t even shed a tear when that bastard jumped ye the other day. Yet here ye are, crying over my sorry arse. Yer somethin’ else.”

The compliment takes you aback, and as his eyes sparkle with nothing but honesty, you fiddle with the bandage you received from the blood donation in a desperate effort to collect yourself.

“What’s that? Ye hurt?”

The concern in his voice warms your heart, even if it is unnecessary.

Soap rises from his pillow to some extent, pain obvious in his restricted movements. You react immediately, clicking your tongue in disapproval. Before you can think twice about it, you set your hand between his pecs and push him back, careful to not harm him, but firm.

“I didn't give you my blood just so you could spill it right away!”

He shouldn't be so easy to put back into his place, even with his wounds. Yet he goes down smoothly, docile under your imperious touch as if he was the unassuming civilian and you the imposing soldier.

His eyes linger on your hand before setting on you, the intensity and the heat of his gaze taking your breath away. His expression is one of surprise, but not of annoyance or revulsion, or at least that's what you hope from what you can read on his face.

Sinking into the lagoons of his eyes, you stare back in a daze. You can feel the rhythmic motions of his well-defined chest under your palm, rising and lowering as he breathes. Suddenly the contact becomes intolerable as your cheeks catch fire. You begin to withdraw but he grabs you just in time.

“Ye gave me yer blood?”

The urgency in his tone takes you by surprise, and so does his expression, one that's contemplating you like you've just announced that you've run in front of a truck for him.

“Price said you needed it-”

“Yer. Blood. We have a stock fer that!”

“I know, I just- I was there and I wanted to do something.”

“And they just let ye?”

“I asked real nicely.”

“Would have liked to see that.”

There's a challenging spark in his eye that you choose to ignore.

“It's just blood,” you mumble, shying away from his gaze, embarrassed by his reaction. You didn’t do this in the hopes that he would express eternal gratitude, nor that he'd be admiring of you.

“It will reconstitute on its own.”

He scoffs, unconvinced. Yet he doesn't sound too mad. There's a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and he's looking at you like you hung the moon.

“Let's talk less about me, and more about you, ok? How are you feeling?”

“Parched,” he retorts while reaching for the water bottle on the nearby tray table.

Of course he's not expanding further. Johnny's the kind to dramatically whine over a paper cut for fun but somehow when it comes to serious, life-threatening injuries, he becomes stoically reserved, almost stingy with words.

You almost throw yourself at the bottle when you notice the slight wince of pain in the line of his mouth - despite his efforts to conceal it - and hand it over to him.

“Just ask me if you need something.”

“Oh bonnie, ye dunnae know what yer getting yerself into with promises like that.”

You openly roll your eyes. If he can make that sort of comment, surely he's not in that much pain after all.

“Let me guess: you’re gonna ask me to kiss your boo boos better.”

You regret your jibe the second you finish talking. You were supposed to only think those words, not pronounce them. He's the gorgeous individual who can take the liberty of flirting with anyone, but you… you’re not.

His only reaction is a chuckle.

“Hmm, what if ah did? Ask fer a kiss?”

His tone is provocative, his pout sultry and his eyes pleading.

You stare at him in thoughtful silence, cogitating your answer.

He misinterprets your lack of response, and backpedals, stuttering while doing so. He starts to apologize, plainly, apparently convinced he went too far, ashamed by his own conduct.

You let him stew in his embarrassment a bit, not out of sadism but curiosity, rarely being granted the opportunity to see him so insecure.

This could be the chance to put an end to his flirting for good. The chance you've been waiting for. It's what you should do.

But there's a part of you that is fed up. Fed up of this pretty man and his pretty words, of this blue-eyed casanova that must see you as another conquest and nothing more. You’re sick of passively enduring his quips, his seduction, his winks, his smirks. So yes, you could ask him to stop.

Or you could give him a test of his own medicine.

Lifting his hand towards your face, you lock eyes with him to be certain he's watching, then tenderly press your lips to each of his scarred knuckles.

The ensuing quiet is deafening.

He half-opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. You never saw him so flustered. Is he… is he blushing?

Somehow, seeing his flush sets your own face on fire. The reality of what you’ve just done hits you like a freight train.

Panic surging inside you, you deal with the situation the way you know best when no other solution comes to mind - you flee. Pretending you don't hear Soap calling after you, you scramble out of the bedroom like the devil's on your heels. Ghost, settled on a chair in the hallway, throws you the closest thing he must have to a bewildered gaze in his repertoire as you storm off by him, gaze that you ignore vehemently.

The following weeks are spent visiting Soap only when he's asleep. Kyle is nice enough to let you know when that's the case. You can tell by the interrogative way he looks at you that a bunch of questions rush on the tip of his tongue: what happened, why are you not simply seeing his teammate when he's awake with the rest of them. But he's either kind or polite enough to not formulate his concerns out loud. Or maybe he thinks it's a private matter between the two of you.

Either way, you’re grateful, and you repay the favor any time you can, filling the break room with his favorite snacks, making him tea or ensuring his gear gets maintained first.

At some point Ghost half complains to you, half reprimands you - since Soap is one part of his current problem and you another.

“Fuckin’ hell, never been easy keepin’ Johnny in medical, but since ya visited him he's worse than ever. Care to explain?”

“I fucked up,” you confess, without adding anything else.

“Fucked up how?”

“I can’t tell you.”

He curses loudly, dragging a gloved hand over his face, appalled by your demeanor.

“Why the fuck not?”

“I'm taking my secret to the grave. All I can tell is that I made an absolute fool of myself, and therefore I can never appear in front of Johnny again.”

He half sighs, half groans, and rolls his eyes before pinching the bridge of his nose.

“You dramatic little…”

Soap eventually gets released from medical.

You spend a couple of weeks avoiding him to the best of your abilities, even though you can tell that Ghost is frankly sick of your antics, Price is five minutes away from berating you, and even Gaz starts to look at you with something that resembles disappointment.

You actively despise yourself for ruining a perfectly good friendship. Especially because of a five seconds long action decided on a whim and carried out out of spite. You find yourself on the edge of tears a couple of times, yet unable to cry. Familiar rooms and corridors feel empty and awkwardly silent with his absence.

There are a bunch of close calls, and the base, or at least the part of it that you’re accustomed to, suddenly feels cramped.

But you hold on.

Until you don't.

You're caught completely unaware, entering the break room as usual to get some coffee.

Only to freeze on the doorstep. Johnny's right there. Barely two meters away. It's the first time you lay eyes on him in what feels like forever. You can’t help but drink in the view.

He's sitting at a table, elbow leaning on it, cheek resting on his closed fist. Your eyes linger over the blue cobalt shirt he's wearing, your favorite of his, and his black fingerless gloves, which you've always had a weakness for. The corner of his lips are down, his eyebrows lightly frowned. Staring into space, he seems sullen.

Your heart tightens at the sight.

However you barely get the opportunity to indulge into your guilt, because next thing you know, your gazes meet. He perks up, eyes widening in surprise. You tense like a deer in the headlights, holding your breath. Dread swells inside you. You’re no braver than last time.

You turn around and decamp.

It's fine, you can come back later. You just need to unearth a hiding spot for now. The object of your affliction - on top of your affection - will probably be vexed enough by your reaction that he won't seek to confront you.

Yes, everything is just fine, you assure yourself - for no more than a handful of seconds.

Without warning, brawny, familiar arms close around your shoulders from behind, pinning your back against a muscular torso.

“Gotcha.”

The word is barely above a whisper, more a growl than anything else, enunciated right into your ear, sending shivers all over your body. You don’t find anything to do but clutch with both hands one of the tanned forearms pressed beneath your collarbone.

Fighting him off doesn't even cross your mind. It's not that you think you'd fail - you trust him to let you go at the first stern summon. You just don't want to forgo his embrace. He hasn’t hugged you since that time you've been mugged and one moment was enough to make you realize how much you’ve missed it.

“Dunnae whether to be upset ye ran away again, or to find it cute that ye thought ye could actually outrun me.”

You gulp, heart pounding and cheeks heating up.

“Johnny…”

A host of pitiful excuses accumulates behind your lips, but somehow none manage to make its way out.

He briefly tightens his hold, but the gesture feels more like a hug than a restraint. Did he… did he just squish you? Like some kind of… cuddle toy?

“Got nothin’ to tell me?”

The question is a taunt as much as a hint at reconciliation.

You try to pace yourself, and think logically about this predicament of your own making. You need to devise a strategy to come out - more or less - unscathed of this.

Soap sounds more smug than mad, but still, passably angry. Maybe there's a way to fix this. Be friends again like nothing happened. Maybe he can forgive you.

First, do not worsen things.

Two, apologize. Properly.

Three, keep your fingers crossed …?

“I'm… sorry?”

He chuckles darkly.

“Gonnae take more than that.”

You try to resist the effects this sentence, his husky voice, his proximity, his laugh have on you, the way they make your stomach twist in apprehension and… indisputable arousal. Resist the temptation to close your eyes so you could focus on his voice alone, on the warm breath brushing your skin, on the lips so close to your ear; to let go in his arms, lean with your whole weight on his body.

Focus, damn it, you admonish and beg yourself all at once. On something else. Anything else.

You’re about to argue that he cannot possibly expect you to succeed in making amends when you’re in this compromising position, but you don't get the time.

Johnny hauls you away inside the nearest room. In a split second, he flicked the lightswitch on and nearly slammed the door behind you.

Cleaning products and exiguity surround you, illuminated by a cheap light bulb.

A closet, helpfully supplies your mind.

You barely have time to digest this information that Soap cages you against the wall, resting his forearms over your head. He contemplates you with a mix of melancholy and longing that renders your knees weak and sends a pang in your chest.

“Been going bloody mad with thoughts of ye.”

His voice is smooth like silk, tone sweet like honey, caressing your ears, warmth dripping inside your chest, making your head spin; or maybe it's a result of his closeness; or a consequence of his cerulean eyes boring into you.

“Ye got any idea how it felt to see ye leave without being able to do a bloody thing ‘bout it? Wanted nothing more than to rip off the tubes, get up, grab ye and lay back in bed with ye in my arms.”

He's intoxicating. He has to be, with how high, euphoric you're feeling, all your problems swept away, insignificant.

“Tell me to fuck off.”

You blink in incomprehension. Drunk on him, you may have lost track a little.

“I'll back off fer good.”

Bliss makes way to horror.

“Look me in the eye and tell me ye hate me. Tell me I disgust ye. Tell me ye wish ye never met m-”

“No!”

Your shout has the merit to make him stop, even if you didn’t mean to yell. Your scream disconcerts him for a second before an exultant grin stretches his lips. His smugness is back with a vengeance.

“So ye do like me.”

“How could I not,” you mutter, capitulating, but avoiding his gaze.

He refuses to let you, and cups one side of your face to make you look at him. As you meet his eyes again, his thumb tenderly strokes your cheekbone. You feel your insides melt at the gesture.

“I like ye. A lot.”

He licks his lips, as if to grant himself some time to mull over his next words, and you automatically follow the motion.

“And I want to kiss ye. A lot.”

His hand slides from your cheek to your chin, slightly tilting your head back.

“Can I?”

It takes a moment for you to regain your voice. When you woke up this morning, you most definitely didn’t expect to receive a confession from John Mactavish. Your brain goes into overdrive.

Is this real? Am I dreaming?

“Johnny, listen…”

The gaze he's aiming at you glows with hope.

“You don’t want to be with me. I'm…”

What? A shell of a human being? Broken?

“…a mess.”

Expectation is replaced by resolve in his turquoise pupils.

“I know exactly what I want. And it's ye. Wouldn't be here otherwise.”

His patience seems to unravel with each passing second, as he stares at you with something akin to desperation written on his face.

“Want me to beg? S’that it?”

“What? No-”

“Cause I can. Beg real pretty. Bet ye'd like that. Saw how ye looked at me the other day when I got on my knees for ye-”

He keeps babbling sweet and filthy nothings that set your face ablaze. He saw how you looked at him? Mortification briefly flares up inside you before you notice the amusement in the corner of his lips, the playful glimmer in his glance, tangled with the neediness - he's joking around. You adopt a stern expression to chasten him but quickly realize he's way too busy staring at your lips to get the message. So you grab both sides of his face to get his attention - two can play this game.

The sheepish, sad puppy face he gives you in return barely makes a notch in your firmness. You take a deep breath to steady yourself, right before diving into the unknown.

“Yes,” you profess - and before he can tease you for clarification - “You can kiss me.”

But as he leans forward to obey, an incriminating detail surfaces in your mind.

“Wait, wait…”

You cover his mouth with one hand. Then immediately regret it, with how his eyes devour you the way his mouth can’t, not helping your flustered state at all.

He gently grabs your wrist and removes your hand, before pressing a kiss into your palm, your wrist.

“Now, better say something, or I'm gonna kiss my way up.”

He hums pensively.

“Scratch that, I'm gonna kiss ye everywhere.”

Pleasant tingles travel your whole body at that. He looks up from your hand to stare at you, and there's a devious glint in his eyes that tells you he caught sight of it.

“I have never.. done this… before.”

This confession means a lot to you. It's a well-kept secret, as long as people don't already deduce it from your lack of social skills. You’d rather it stays this way, but you don't see how you can start a relationship while withholding this truth.

All you can hope now is that Soap will react in a manner you consider appropriate. If he judges you, if that fact makes you go down in his estimation, or if he starts seeing you as some sort of innocent, naive individual that he could get off on corrupting, you’re not sure you'll be able to recover from it.

All playfulness deserts his face. He observes you with a mix of solemnity and compassion.

“Oh, bonnie… I don't give a shite ‘bout that. We'll go as slow or as fast as ye want, aye?”

Stirred beyond words, you nod your assent.

Not wasting any more time, he presses his lips to yours. They're soft and warm. You expected a surge of unbridled desire, but he takes his sweet time with you, to become acquainted with your mouth.

It only lasts a moment though; as he seems to gain in confidence and deepens the kiss, his motions fill with fervor, turn frantic. Hunger rivals devotion.

They say the greatest pleasure possible a human being can experience isn’t, well, pleasure; it's the end of pain - and he's kissing you like he's been aching for it, for so long, and he's finally getting relief. He's clinging onto you like the separation of those past weeks put him in severe withdrawal.

You probably would have let him continue if you weren't compelled by the imperative need to breathe. You turn away, panting.

Not interrupted in the slightest, he simply latches onto your neck instead.

Floating in a daze, you absently close one hand on the back of his shirt, and fondle his mohawk with the other.

“Hold on to me.”

The instruction takes a ridiculously long time to reach you. Thankfully, Soap picks up on that and grasps your hands to place them on the back of his neck. You only understand his goal when his fingers slide behind your thighs and he lifts you up effortlessly, wedging you between the wall and himself.

Once he gets his fill of your throat, he sneaks one forearm under your rear and lets go of one of your thigh, somehow managing to keep you in the air one-armed, to tug at the opening of your top.

Seeing him struggle to open your blouse one-handed, you reach down to assist; but just as you do that, he grabs one side of the clothing between his teeth, and pulling the other with his free hand, he rips off the first three snap fasteners in one go. Your eyes go wide, your mind torn between finding the gesture arousing or risible.

You settle for a fond scoff.

“You animal.”

The name feels all the more appropriate because when he looks up at you, releasing the cloth, the hunger in his eyes is striking, and the wolfish grin he grants you is the one of a ravenous predator.

“You could have just asked-”

“S'faster,” he shrugs, at least as much as possible in his current position.

You barely notice the staple of your bra opening; he hauls you slightly higher, bringing your chest to mouth level, and dives between your breasts like a man starved. The contact makes you tilt your head back against the wall, sighing in pleasure. The sensation of his lips and tongue against your sensitive skin makes you coil: your fingers grasp the back of his shirt and his hair, pressing his head impossibly closer, your thighs clench around his torso, your toes curl.

“Fuck, Johnny.”

He moans your name in response, albeit a bit muffled. He sounds as afflicted as you are, if not more. The idea turns you on terribly.

You look down to see him, and the vision of his face feverishly pressed to your skin is almost unbearable.

Suddenly he recoils, eyes meeting yours, and opens his mouth to stick his tongue out, right in front of your nipple, holding still in silent question. Your crotch throbs with arousal and you bitterly regret your earlier assessment - this view is much harder to endure, by far. The deep, honest eagerness in his gaze, coupled with the absolute submission to your will he demonstrates…

That doesn't stop you from frenetically nodding your head in agreement. His lips close around your nipple and the flick of his tongue against it draws a whine out of you. His free hand softly squeeze your other breast.

If he wasn’t holding you, your legs probably would have given out.

A faraway ringtone painfully pierces through the torpor you’re deliciously lost in. Your ringtone.

Johnny swears under his breath and blindly gropes your ass to silence your phone lodged in your back pocket.

Your eyes snap open in horror as you abruptly emerge into reality.

“Shit, shit, SHIT! Put me down!”

You repeatly hit Soap's shoulders to get his attention and convey urgency, without putting real force behind it. He complies immediately.

Your soles barely reached the ground that you’re already whiping out the device from your pants. Your coworker's name is displayed on the screen. Turning your back on Johnny, you pick up the call in a panic.

“Hey… yes. Yes, I'll be there in a minute. …They're not here yet? Thank fuck.”

As you sheepishly reassure your colleague that you’ll be there soon for the meeting that should have already started, you feel fingers fiddling with your blouse. Your first instinct is to bat Johnny's hands away, before grasping that he's actually putting your snaps back in place.

“Hm? Oh no, nothing bad. … I, uh… I just got held back. Anyway, see you soon.”

You hang up with shaky hands and a weary but relieved sigh.

The Scotsman's arms wrap around your waist from behind and he lovingly nuzzles his face against yours. His stubble prickles your skin, but the gesture is too endearing for you to spurn him.

“No more running away, aye?”

He exudes peacefulness, every muscle in his body content and relaxed. Where did Ghost's vicious attack dog go and who's this teddy bear?

“No more running,” you acquiesce.

“Good lass,” he purrs.

Normally, you would have gotten back at him for that patronizing comment, but you still feel bad for the way you treated him, so you just grunt.

“We'll pick up where we left off, hmm?”

Your cheeks burn furiously as you realize what he's referring to - his kisses wandering lower, to fulfill the “everywhere” part of the pledge he made earlier.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

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