#one more time to feel connected rather than isolated

[technicolorxsn]

maybe I should

[darkstaria]

Yandere Batfam - Soulmate Soul Animal AU.

Chapter 1:

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Chapter 2. Chapter 3. Chapter 4. Chapter 5.

Dark pupils watched from the ceiling, their gaze affixed upon you. You sighed, deciding to ignore its presence.

An aggravated chitter interrupted you. Pausing, you watched as a little green bird jumped out of the bat’s shadow. It paced towards you, making a small leap to land on your outstretched finger. You smiled, extending your hand to pet the top of its head. The bird took a moment to consider the moment, head tilting with its beak outstretched as if it intended to bite you. It seemed to decide on sparing your finger, allowing you to give the bird some pets on the head.

However, it was time to resume your work. You turned back to your computer, a dismissal. The bird didn't like that. A quick flash, and the bird tittered about on your keyboard, messing up your setup.

“Robin!” You snap, reaching out as if to push the bird away.

You sighed. You disliked calling the bird Robin. It was the correct species, despite the bird being green, so it made sense to use the name. But.. you hated the connection it created between your soul bonded animals and the vigilantes of the city. Unfortunately, the bird didn't answer to any other name. You've tried.

The other robins were so much more agreeable than this newer one. Well, not that you could even call those three robin anymore. The newer robin was very possessive of the name, and you'd rather not have to search your room for more stray feathers that flew off in their next fight. Your soul animals were such a pain.

The flutter of wings distracts you from your musings. You look up, finding the very bat you had been so cautiously avoiding earlier descend onto your desk. The bat chirped a little, with the robin occasionally replying back with chirps of its own. They were having their own conversation.

You decided you were owed a break already, so you gave up on your dreams of getting work done in lieu of watching the ongoing conversation. It was rare for soul animals to talk. They didn't need to. Due to the nature of a soul bond, soul animals act on the innermost feelings of the soul they represent. The bond connects souls, so soul animals, which are a manifestation of the bond, are already intune with their soulmates.

The only instance in which soul animals did tend to talk, was if the soulmates themselves were talking.

Robin chittured with a snap, the bat in return giving a controlled chirr.

Oooh. You thought to yourself. This sounds like an argument. You wondered what it was about. Maybe Robin pecked one too many victims, or caused a mess again.

Ah. You were thinking of your bonded as just animals again. To be fair, it was fairly easy. The only things you knew of your soulmates were because of how the animals acted. Anything else, and you were in the dark. That's how you wanted to think, anyway.

Maybe while they were distracted… You scoot back a little in your chair, until you figure you’re out of their line of sight. You make for the door, tipping out of your seat as quietly as you can. You're almost out the door when a weight settles itself on your head.

You sigh.

“Robin. Get off me, please.”

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the presence doesn't budge. Obliging, you reach up to your head, feeling the bird’s little feet jump onto your hand. Bringing Robin to eye level, you stare at it, unimpressed.

A nearby bat of wings draws you out of your faceoff. Guess sneaking out on your own was too much to ask for, as always.

“Ughhh.” You whine. Your soulmates were going to push you into complete isolation at this rate.

“Fine. You two already know the drill.”

You point at the Bat. “You can never follow me, I mean it. A bat is way too ominous of a soul animal to be flying around. It's just asking for trouble.”

The Bat remains silent, watching. Always, watching. You really hated it sometimes.

In all honesty, a robin wasn't too great of a soul animal to have with you in Gotham either. But your robins came in odd colours, so people didn't always clock that the bird was actually a robin. Sometimes you said that your soul animal was a greenfinch or a swallow. It tended to work, as long as no one looked twice.

A bat was much harder to hide.

“So..”. You give up, gesturing to your bag. “Just get in already, I'll make the trip quick.” You always had to make any outings short with this particular robin. If you spent too long with someone it got snippy. Very, snippy.

The other three robins tended to be a bit more accommodating. Well, not by much.

Robin glides into your bag, a movement of precision and grace. Not for the first time, you wonder what your bonded was like in person.

Deciding to dismiss the thought, you unlatch your door, heading out.

Just another day, with your soulmates.

~ ~ ~ ~

Your parents told you about your birth. You were born to a bat watching your window. It wasn't such a red flag, at first. The maternity ward was flush with newborn babes, so your parents figured that the bat was bound to another child. It was what they had hoped for, anyway.

Plenty of children weren't born with soulbonds. It wasn't a concern. They could be the elder of a bond. Or, they could have a delayed bond. They weren't concerned.

But… then it followed you home. Your parents settled you down, snug in your crib. When they next came to check up upon you, it was there. Perched upon the crib, watching you. When they next blinked, it was gone.

The very next day, your parents awoke to the Bat watching you again. But this time, a smaller bird was snuggled to your sleeping face. It clung to you all day, refusing to disappear when they appeared like the Bat did. It was… very mouthy.

They had assumed this to be a good development, everyone knew The Night worked alone. They were happy.

They were happy, even when another robin appeared the subsequent day. A scruffy one, snappy. Its feathers were still growing out. Young.

Perhaps they should have expected then, that the dawn the next new day would bring another little bird to your crib. The youngest one, a nestling still developing pin feathers. Despite its age, it held a keen gaze at them.

There weren't any more animals that appeared after that. So they hid any evidence of the Bat, and instead allowed you to grow up freely with your three birds.

The Bat was evidently the oldest in your soulbond. It was protective, almost parental, in its movements. It had a sixth sense for when you were in any danger, always emerging from the shadows with perfect timing. If a bat wasn't such a symbolic image in Gotham, you'd probably be more appreciative of its efforts.

The eldest bird was silly, performing aerial tricks and jumps that always brightened your day. It was keen, focusing on you whenever you felt down. It had the uncanny ability to appear whenever you were under the weather. When you said the word robin, it snapped to attention.

You decided to call it Robin.

The second bird was protective. It wasn't as loud as the eldest, but there was a spark of kindness in its gaze. Originally the bird was a lot rougher, but it started to calm down a few years in. Became stable. It always seemed to find you when you got stuck on homework, or landed on your shoulder whenever you flipped through a book.

The third bird was small. You assumed it was only a year or two older than you, due to how the bird’s feathers grew in. It wasn't as affectionate as the other two. Solitary, it often lingered in the shade. It watched you. It watched your other soul animals too, when they appeared. It seemed a little tired. It took you a bit, but eventually you realised it was lonely. After that, you always had a comforting word.

That is… until the Batman gained a partner. A boy decked out in green and yellow, the same feathers on your eldest bird. The vigilante called itself Robin.

As the duo gained notoriety, you were hidden more and more. There was danger in soulbonds, and nothing was more dangerous than vigilantes.

Robin became Nightwing. Your eldest bird grew in blue feathers. The bird stopped responding to its name. A new boy became Robin. You spotted green and yellow feathers growing in on your second bird. It started answering to Robin.

You knew who your soulmates were. After that, it was no secret. Not to you, not to your parents.

Your parents weren't happy anymore. But you were safe. They could be content with that. They considered reaching out. The evidence was obvious, they knew it, and you knew it. Maybe you could be even safer, if the Batman knew where you were.

And then you watched your Robin die.

The little bird had been stuck to you recently, seeming to be in an argument with the Bat. When in conflict, soul animals gravitated to those they weren't in disparity with, and this was nothing unfamiliar to you.

You had been stroking the little bird, as it rested on your lap. But then it jumped. It started shaking. It started crying. Bleeding.

You panicked. You tried to comfort it, to whisper caring words, to give a reassuring touch. You were young, you didn't know what to do. There was nothing you could do.

When a soulmate dies, the soul animal dies too.

The little Robin died, crying in your lap.

You had never looked at vigilantes the same way again.

There was no point in denial, not after that. Your bat became the Bat, the eldest robin named Wing. A few days later, your youngest soul animal developed new feathers. Green… and red. You didn't have a name for the bird, but you suspected you would soon.

You took a week off school.

~ ~ ~ ~

“Please be quiet, this time.” You muttered down to the green bird resting in your bag. It started at you with a condescending gaze. Ugh. Younger soulmates.

You'd sigh, but you've been doing that far too much lately as is.

Time to get this over with.

You enter the supermarket, one of your very few weekly outings. You start perusing the shelves, picking out what was in your list. As you're walking though, you hear a frustrated bark. You peak out from the shelves, spotting a lone woman tugging a leashed dog along.

Ah. You knew what this was. Everyone did. The other shoppers in the store paused too, staring at what was going on.

It was a rejected bond. When feelings between single soulbonded individuals become too bitter, the soul animal dissipates. Well, it was supposed to, and then reappear when feelings improve. But if the animal was constrained in some manner, then the animal can't disappear and is forced to remain in a physical form.

Judging from the leash on the dog’s neck, this was that same scenario. It was rather bold of the woman to bring the soul animal out in public if it was rejecting her like this. Almost brave.

Gothamites rarely helped each other, but things became a little sensitive with soul animals. You wouldn't be too surprised if there wasn't at least one attempt to free the dog today. It certainly caught attention. It could even catch.. vigilante attention.

You frowned. It was a shame to cut one of your few outings short. Sometimes there was no alternative though. You certainly wouldn't be sticking around.

You jumped at the sound of a shriek, eyes darting down to your bag where Robin rested. Robin glared venomously at your shoulder, and you glanced at it.

Your shoulder where… Ah. That would do it. Your shoulder where Red rested. Your third robin. You felt like crying. Why, why this pair?

You didn't even feel the bird as it appeared. Was that a testament to Red's stealth or your lacking observational skills?

Robin glared daggers at Red, practically hissing. You didn't even know birds could hiss. Red paid him no mind, instead looking very settled on your shoulder. The bird even snuggled your face a little. What a smug guy.

Another bark caught your attention. You glanced forward, remembering the scene. Your soul animal’s squabbling would draw too much attention. If any of the vigilantes were watching, you'd be in trouble. One robin soul animal was potentially excusable. But two? That would get you caught.

You tried to shush the two, a small signal for them to knock it off. Naturally, because it was these two, they ignored you. You groaned. This was far too public.

You grabbed Red, snatching him off your shoulder as gently as you could. Placing him gently into your shoulder bag, you tried your best to pretend the resulting screech from Robin wasn’t noticeable. The flap of your bag was closed, so no one could spot them… They could certainly hear if they came close enough though.

Time to leave. You paid for what you picked up and dashed out. The sight of rejected soulmates was generally considered disturbing, so anyone watching could just attribute your rush to that.

Were you paranoid?

Mayhaps a little.

You've justified it by the fact that you're probably soulmates with Batman and 4 robins, so paranoia is practically a requirement for your soul.

____

Hello ^ ^ welcome to my soulmate au! I do hope you enjoyed.

If you have any questions about the au, please feel free to reach out :D

[seonghwaddict]

super duper pretty — kim hongjoong

in which you haven’t heard from him in years but a single drunk phone call ends up with you tangled up in your bed.

musician!kim hongjoong x fem!reader. genre. angst, suggestive, friends to lovers. warnings. drinking, tension, kissing, suggestive content. wc. 4k. rating. pg-13.

lilo’s notes. AGHDHSJDJJAJDJSJDHSJS GRRRR WOOF WOOF AWOOOO GR AHHHDHDHDHHDS

listening to. right here, chase atlantic.

masterlist.

you weren’t someone hongjoong could bring himself to think about much these days. despite having known each other since childhood and been best friends, he hadn’t spoken to you in three years, too caught up in his thriving music career.

album, tours, interviews, collaborations. it all kept him busy and away from you. his chase for stardom had him isolating and distancing himself from friends and family. and, sure, it was shitty, but he didn’t have time to dwell on the people he was told would hold him back. he didn’t have time to regret it. regretting leads to stagnating and stagnating would lead to the end of his career.

that’s not to say he didn’t miss you. of course, he did. but on the last day he spoke to you, it ended in an argument he didn’t have the energy to resolve. so, he left. he left you.

him not having time to regret it was more an ideal rather than a truth.

in reality, he regretted leaving you more than anything else.

but three years later he still hadn’t talked to you, afraid it would ruin his pride if he came running back to you. yet he couldn’t deny how he felt like he was on top of the world, the best producer and rapper in the scene. his career was thriving and his newest album topped charts across alll platforms. when all the interviews and promotions were finally over, he decided to treat himself ot a little celebration, renting a club in town and inviting every major celebrity he had connections too.

the night was spent dancing and throwing back shot after shot until he could barely stand. he enjoyed it at first, but slowly the effects of the colourful drinks made him feel much too hot and cramped in the sea of dancing bodies. making sure no one noticed, he escaped through a back door into the cold, fresh air. he felt the sudden urge to leave, but in his drunken state it would be difficult to navigate his way home.

without thinking, he slumped against the red brick wall and pulled out his phone, dialing a number he’s always know by heart. it rang three times before the person picked up.

“hello?”

hongjoong didn’t realise how much he missed your voice until you uttered that word so softly. he could picture you somewhere in your appartment, maybe in the kitchen to get a snack, tilting your head in confusion at the unfamiliar number.

“hey,” he really didn’t know what else to say, staring intently at a leaf on the ground.

you went completely silent on the other end and for a moment he thought you’d hung up. but, eventually, you spoke again, only this time a certain firmness to your voice.

“what do you want?”

“come pick me up,” his words slurred and molded together and you had a hard time unnderstanding him, sat stifly on your couch, “please, i need you to pick me up. just… just this once?”

you didn’t know what to say. you wanted to scream and yell at him and demand a proper explanation as to why he just walked out of your life like it was nothing, but at the same time, you wanted to sob and confess how much you missed him.

still, you couldn’t help but ask, “what the hell happened, hongjoong?”

"i- i'm drunk," he slurred, sounding even worse than before as he shuffles his feet on the floor pebbled floor. "like, really, really drunk," he insisted with a quiet groan, but you already came to that conclusion. "come pick me up… please?"

you stood up from your couch, pacing around you living room as you listened to him speak before stopping by your window and looking out into the night sky. he was the last person you thought would call you at this house, not having heard from him in three years. but here he was, drunk and begging you to pick him up from god knows where.

“fine.” you said simply, swallowing down the lump in your throat as you grabbed your coat from the entrance of your apartment and slipped on some shoes, not bothering to change out of your nightwear. “where are you?”

“um,” he looked around. the back door led into an alley, but if he walked off to the right he’d be right by the entrance. with his free hand supporting him on the wall, he did his best to get there. “outside the, uh, club,” he explained, though it was really helpful, “by the-” he cut himself off with a sigh, resting his forehead against the wall and squeezing his eyes shut in frustation of his lack of clarity, “the red one.”

your eyebrows furrowed at his vague description as you got to your car, getting into the drivers seat and just sitting there until he could give you a proper answer. “the… red… one?”

“it’s got, um,” he looked around the surrounding area, spotting a familiar place just across the street, “in front of that café we used to go to?”

“oh.” you recognised that, hesitating for a moment before starting the car, unwanted memories of the countless hours you spent with him there clouding your thoughts. all the talking and studying and laughing. “find somewhere to sit.”

“okay,” he nodded to himself, taking some steps to a wooden bench and pointing at it as if you could see, “i’m gonna sit on this thingy.” his drunken stupor had him laughing at himself as he takes the final steps to sit down. he swayed a little but not enough to make him lose balance and fall. once sat, he nodded and grinned at nothing in particular, just proud he was able to manage the simple task you gave him. “i’m sitting.”

“good, great,” you hummed approvingly, holding back a smile at his antics, “now… just hang tight, i’ll be right there, okay?”

“okay.”

it felt good to sit here, he realised with a sigh as he leaned back and tipped his head to look up at the stars. the gentle caress of the night air and the dimmed sounds of the city around him a soothing backdrop to the chaos in his head.

a silence followed his words, tense but not uncomfortable. the red exterior of the cheap club came into view soon enough and you slowed to a stop to park in a free space. you got out of the car and looked around until you found a familiar figure sitting on a bench tucked below a little tree. you hesitated again for a moment before walking to him as slowly as possible, your heart pounding in your chest. he hadn’t noticed you yet, having shut his eyes at some point.

it took you some long moments but you finally pulled yourself together and cleared your throat, making him startle as you muttered a tentative, “hey.”

he glanced toward the sound of your voice, blinking away the drunken haze as he attempted to focus on the world around him. his vision unclear and unfocused as looked up at you, struggling to recognise you for a moment. the bright streetlights made his head ache a little; the world a blur and all he could do was struggle to focus until he could see you properly, the familiar feature snapping him back to reality.

you shifted back and forth on your heels awkwardly, waiting for him to say something as he just stared at you, face flushed and intoxicated. your hair was messy and you wore shorts and a loose light grey sweater. you wondered if he even recognised you, or were you just a stranger to him?

“you came,” he breathed after a while, eyes taking in every detail on you. he focused on you; the way the moonlight caught on your skin, the soft furrow of your brows and subtle downturn of your lips. your eyes, his favourite eyes in the world, looking back at him. “you actually came.”

“you called,” you answered, almost breathless as you also took him in. his style looked a little edgier than when you’d last seen him, though still as chic as ever. short bleached hair, the corners of his sharp eyes smoked out.

“i did,” he nodded, attempting to stand up before slumping back again, “but you actually came.” the alcohol made his words feel heavy, pushing them out in soft sighs as his eyes locked with yours again. he grinned stupidly, “you’re like, pretty.”

you almost laughed at his words, shaking your head lightly, “and you’re like, drunk,” you scoffed jokingly, “come on, it’s late, let me get you home.”

“no, i mean,” he whined, pouting dramatically and now you weren’t sure if the pink tint of his face was from the alcohol or something else, “you’re like super duper pretty.”

unsure of how to respond to his compliment, you only chuckled nervously and offered him a hand to help him get up. “come on.”

he stared at your hand for a few long moments before grasping it and standing up with your assistance. he stumbled a little but caught himself as you led him to the car. your nudged him to get into the passenger seat as you walked around to get into the driver’s.

it was dark in your car, your face dimly illuminated by the screen that displayed a map of the area. you look even prettier in this light, he thought, the sharp shadows making your features stand out that much more. your cheeks soft and round and your eyes sparkling with reflections in a way that made his wander all over you.

neither of you said anything for a while as you sat there. seemingly lost in his drunken daze, he realised how familiar this felt, being there with you, just you and him. everything felt right. he let out a soft hum before leaning back, tilting his head back against the seat and closing his eyes.

“my place is closer than yours,” now that he wasn’t looking at you, you felt comfortable enough to break the silence. finally buckling your seatbelt, you tried to ignore the way butterflies swarmed in your stomach at the thought of his eyes on your body, “you can stay for the night, if you want.”

“do i get the couch?” he turned his head to peer over at you as you start the car, “or…” he giggled, “or… we can share the bed.”

you raised an eyebrow at him, surprised at how flirtatious he was being. “we’ve shared before so, i guess… if the bed is more comfortable for your then i’m fine with sharing it.”

memories of your late night excursions with him rushed back to you and you briefly wondered if he would touch you the same as you laid together. would the feeling of his hand in yours bring you the same comfort? or the protective grip on your back or thigh? you don’t mention any of it.

“let’s just share,” he whispered back. he sounded tired, though if asked he could probably go on a ten page rant of how much he missed being close to you.

he, too, thought of all the night you spent together. the laughs and the touches that felt so real. he remembered how comfortably you would fit in the same bed, laying side-by-side and watching random movies until dawn broke. how easily you’d fall asleep as you shared blankets, face mere inches away from each other but never quite touching.

he wondered if it was possible to relive those times, gazing over at you for a moment before shaking his head and look out the window. those were nothing but drunk fantasies.

“okay,” you whispered back, trying not to look at him, trying not to shiver at the softness of his voice. a little slurred, but still soft.

he was always like that with you. soft.

people would mistake the two of you for lovers more often than not when they first met you, but it was always denied with flushed cheeks and awkward giggles. and it was true. no matter what was said or done, you always remained just that. best friends. it was for the better, made things much less complicated. especially when he took off and you never saw him again.

at least, until now.

the silence in the car was palpable, broken only by quiet breaths and the low hum of the car. it was a calm silence, mildly comfortable despite how heavy it felt, weighted down by all the things unsaid.

eventually, you slowed to a stop and pulled into your parking space in front of the apartment building you lived in. turning off the car, you got out and beelined for the entrance. he knew where to go anyway, not looking back at him as you led the way to your apartment.

the door opened to your living room and kitchen area, just a little messy since you weren’t expecting anyone to come over anytime soon. you made quick work of shucking off your jacket and placing your shoes aside, telling him to wait for a moment before you disappeared through a hallway he knew led to your bedroom.

you returned quickly, a pile of folded clothes in your arms that you held out to him, explaining he had left them a while ago. his body itself didn’t change much, so you figured they should still fit. you didn’t want his sweaty dishevelled suit on your bedsheets.

as he changed, you paced back and forth in your bedroom nervously, thinking about all the possible things that could happen. but you stopped quickly when you heard the bathroom door unlock, practically jumping to lay in bed. you tucked yourself into one side of the large bed, covers pulled up to your chin as you face away from him.

you heard him pause for a moment before you felt the bed dipping behind you and the covers shifting as he blanketed himself too. despite there being a considerable amount of space between you, you still felt him body heat brushing against yours in the thick silence. even though you can’t see him, you knew for a fact he’s probably laying on his back to look at the little glow-in-the-dark stars you stuck to my ceiling years ago and never took down.

you sighed and whispered, “hongjoong?”

“uh-huh?” he hummed, eyes closed for a moment before he turning his head to glance at your back.

you squeezed your eyes shut, taking a deep breath before finally asked the thing you’d been dying to know. “did you ever miss me?”

“more than anything,” he breathed and you felt him shift to lay on his side, facing you. he wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold you like he used to. his voice held a hint of melancholy but he didn’t elaborate more.

you turned too after a moment, not taking a second to notice just how close he was, the thick white covers shifting slightly from the movement. your voice quivered slightly as you spoke, eyes stinging with welling tears. “i missed you too, you know… i missed you every day since you left and every day i hoped you’d come back. but you never did.”

his heart clenched at you admission, the voice he loved so much threatening to turn into sobs. the truth was, he wanted to, countless nights sat alone, wishing he turned back to knock on your door.

“i-i wanted to,” he stammered, whispering ashamedly.

“it’s fine, i got over it,” you forced yourself to focus on the pillow under his head instead of his handsome face.

his brows furrowed as you averted your gaze, eyes following yours even if you refused to look at him. he knew you well enough to know when you lied. he knew you well enough to know you didn’t get over it. didn’t get over him. he mumbled, “did you really?”

your lip trembled at his question but you kept your gaze locked on the white fabric, pressing them together to get them to stop as a few tears spill over the corners of your eyes.

you shook your head, your little voice breaking with overwhelming emotions, “n-no, i didn’t.”

you shifted your look to his hesitantly, your skin tingling from his warmth. your eyelids fluttered as you tried to hold back the tears.

"don’t," he whispered, thumb slipping down to caress your jaw. his eyes searched yours, your eyes wide with sadness and something he couldn’t quite understand. "don’t hide it. you don’t always have to be so strong. not in front of me.”

those words snapped something in your mind, no longer able to swallow down the lump in your throat as you threw yourself into his inviting arms, yours wrapping around his neck as you sobbed into the slope of his shoulder.

“why- why did you leave, w-why didn’t you come back... p-please, i need to know.”

he didn’t expect the sudden break down, but still held you close. one hand at the back of your head, the other holding you by your waist, your bodies pressed against each other and he let his lips press against the top of your head, making you shiver.

he rubbed your back, letting your tears fall wherever they man, muttering reassurances iagainst your hair. his faint scent of whiskey and mint mingled with your vanilla shampoo, his eyes shutting at the oddly comforting mix of smells. you felt him press repeated kisses to your messed up hair.

sobs racked your body for a few more minutes before the tears stopped falling and your breaths evened. you nodded against him, pulling your head away from him to look up at his face, at his eyes. the hand at the back of your head slipped forward to cup your cheek again, brushing his finger along your skin. he traces your cheek bone and along your harline down to your jaw, his eyes shifting between yours in disbelief that his skin was on yours once again.

“i was afraid,” he admitted, barely a whisper, “i was afraid that if i came back, i’d fall for you more… and then i wouldn’t have been able to spend a day without you, wouldn’t be able to chase after my dream. but… at the time, i didn’t recognise you were part of it, you know, my dream.”

your breath hitched as the words registered, “you- what?”

you cut him off with something you'd been wanting to do for a while; you kissed him, hands holding either side of his face. his eyes are widened in surprise, though he didn’t hesitate to lean into the kiss, returning it as quickly as you did it. his hands tightened around you, pulling you as close as he could.

your lips fit against eachother so perfectly, like the lego sets you’d force him to build with you when you were younger, every curve and edge of your bodies slotting together naturally. he got lost in the sensation of finally getting what he dreamed of, a hand slipping below the hem of your shirt to hold onto your bare waist, just wanting to feel closer to you.

his mouth tasted of exactly what he smelled like, mint and traces of whiskey, whimpering against his lips as you welcomed the taste and the touch. your whimper unlocked something, the kiss growing more urgent, restlessly pushed against each other without air left between. you could barely breathe, but you didn’t care as long as his lips stayed locked on yours for as long as possible.

but eventually, he bit down on your bottom lip ever so slightly before pulling away, catching his breath as you caught yours. your chest heaving as you refilled your lungs with air, face flushed from the realisation of what you just did and from the thought of what else you might do.

he glanced down at your swelling parted lips, jimmy coated by your mixed saliva, his pupils blown wide with desire.

“i wanna…” he mumbled, breath unsteady, “i want to…”

he wasn’t sure what he was trying to say, at least not until he noticed the way you peered up at him expectantly with that curious gaze. “what is it, joong?”

that nickname. he hadn’t heard it in a while. three years, actually, because you were the only one that called him that. his eyes searched yours.

“i want to do that again,” he admitted, cheeks warming, “and again and again and again… and so much more than just that.”

your breath hitched, intestines tied into knots as you struggled to figure out what you should say. the truth was that you wanted that too, wanted to feel his lips and hands all over your body. but, as his breath fanned over your face and you caught the traces of alcohol folded into the smell of mint gum, you were reminded that there was a thin possibility he didn’t mean any of it.

“you’re drunk, joong… it’s better if we don’t.”

he frowned, his grip on you loosening. “but you want to, don’t you?” he countered, “you know you want this too, so why not?”

“i just-“ you paused to sigh, continuing with an even tone, “i just don’t want you to regret anything.”

“i meant every goddamn thing i said,” his brows furrowed for a moment and he squinted, trying to emphasise his point, “so, i can���t regret this. i can’t regret you.“

you bit your lip, thinking carefully before sighing, the tension leaving your body as you played with the string of his hoodie.

“how about this…” you suggested, speaking slowly, “if you can wake up and tell me you remembered all this, then we can see where this goes.”

“and if i don’t, you’ll never mention in again?”

you nodded, slightly anxious as you wait for him to agree. it didn’t take too long, seemingly an acceptable compromise for him as he nodded.

“okay,” he agreed, his hand on your waist beneath your shirt tightening once again, “let me just kiss you one more time though, i won’t be able to sleep if you don’t.”

you laughed at his silly excuse, forehead dropping against his shoulder for a moment before lifting to look at him again with a grin that made you feel so stupid and in love. “fine, just one more time.”

networks. @cromernet @wonderlandnet @cultofdionysusnet @pirateeznet @atzhouse

permanent taglist. @ad0rechuu @sankatchu @mlink64 @yeosangsbb @seonghwasbbgirl @likexaxdaydream @dreamingofyeo @yalyallic @yunhoswrldddd @coffee-addict-kitten @thunderous-wolf @chngbnwf

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY #5 : FIND YOUR PURPOSE

"pain is a price to pay for happiness"

-kim seungmin (straykids)

© bloomzone!!

#5:FIND PURPOSE

✉️:Finding a meaningful life purpose is a profound journey that many people embark on at different stages of their lives. It involves discovering what brings fulfillment, direction, and satisfaction. Identifying a purpose can help guide decisions, inspire actions, and provide a sense of meaning in both personal and professional aspects of life.

1.Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to Finding Your Life’s Purpose

﹙ 💌 ﹚ we will explore the concept of Ikigai, a Japanese term that means “a reason for being.” Ikigai is important to know because it offers a pathway to finding purpose and joy in life. It involves harmonizing four key elements: what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be rewarded for...

2.EVERYTHING ABOUT IKIGAI

Basically, ikigai is seen as the convergence of the following four core elements:

1. What you love (your passion)

2. What the world needs (your mission)

3. What you are good at (your vocation)

4. What you can get paid for (your profession)

The word ikigai, that space in the middle of these four primary elements, is seen by the Japanese as the source of value or what make one's life truly worthwhile.

THE 10 RULES OF IKIGAI

1. Stay Active, Don’t Retire:

- The idea behind this rule is to keep your mind and body engaged in meaningful activities. Retirement doesn't mean stopping all productive work. It encourages finding activities you enjoy and continuing to contribute to society, which can provide a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

-Benefits: Staying active helps maintain cognitive function, physical health, and emotional well-being. It can prevent feelings of uselessness and isolation.

2. Take It Slow:

- Embrace a slower, more deliberate pace of life. Instead of rushing through tasks, take time to savor and appreciate the process.

- Benefits:This can reduce stress and anxiety, improve the quality of your work and help u enjoy life more fully. It encourages mindfulness and living in the present moment.

3. Don’t Fill Your Stomach:

- The 80% rule, also known as "hara hachi bu" advises stopping eating when you're 80% full, rather than completely sated.

- Benefits: This practice promotes better digestion, prevents overeating, and can lead to a healthier weight. It’s associated with longevity and reduced risk of chronic diseases.

4. Surround Yourself with Good Friends:

- Build and maintain strong, positive relationships. Spend time with people who uplift and support you.

- Benefits: Good friends provide emotional support, reduce stress, and enhance your sense of belonging. Strong social connections are linked to better mental health and increased life expectancy.

5. Get in Shape for Your Next Birthday:

- Regular physical activity is essential for maintaining health and energy. Aim to improve or maintain your fitness level each year.

- Benefits: Exercise boosts physical health, mental clarity, and mood. It helps prevent chronic diseases, improves sleep, and enhances overall quality of life.

6. Smile:

- Adopting a positive attitude and smiling can improve your mood and the mood of those around you.

- Benefits: Smiling releases endorphins, reduces stress, and promotes a positive outlook. It can improve social interactions and relationships.

7. Reconnect with Nature:

- Spend time outdoors and appreciate the natural world. This can involve walking in parks, hiking, gardening, or simply enjoying a sunny day.

- Benefits: Nature exposure reduces stress, boosts mood, and improves mental health. It can also enhance physical health and encourage a sense of wonder and connection to the world.

8. Give Thanks:

- Practice gratitude regularly by acknowledging and appreciating the positive aspects of your life.

- Benefits: Gratitude enhances happiness, reduces negative emotions, and improves mental health. It can also strengthen relationships and foster a more positive outlook on life.

9. Live in the Moment:

- Focus on the present rather than dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Engage fully in whatever you are doing at the moment.

- Benefits:This practice, also known as mindfulness, reduces stress and enhances enjoyment and satisfaction. It can improve mental clarity and emotional regulation.

10. Follow Your Ikigai:

-Discover and pursue your Ikigai—the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. Let this guide your life choices and actions.

- Benefits:Finding and following your Ikigai leads to a fulfilling and meaningful life. It helps align your passions with your skills and societal contributions, resulting in a sense of purpose and happiness.

3.Discover Your Ikigai: Guided Journal Prompts for a Meaningful Life

Ikigai journal prompts can help you explore and clarify your purpose and passions. Here are some prompts to guide your reflection:

Exploring Your Passions

1. What activities make you lose track of time?

2. What did you love to do as a child that you may have forgotten about?

3. What topics or activities are you naturally drawn to?

4. When do you feel most alive and engaged?

5. If you could do anything without worrying about money or other obligations, what would it be?

Identifying Your Strengths

6. What skills or talents do you excel at?

7. What do people frequently ask for your help with?

8. What accomplishments are you most proud of?

9. What feedback have you received that highlights your strengths?

10. When have you felt most competent and capable?

Understanding What the World Needs

11. What issues or causes do you care deeply about?

12. How do you want to make a difference in the world?

13. What problems do you see in your community that you wish you could solve?

14. What do you believe the world needs more of?

15. What impact do you want to have on others' lives?

Finding What You Can Be Paid For

16. What professional roles or careers have you considered?

17. How can you monetize your skills or passions?

18. What services or products can you offer that others would pay for?

19. What industries or fields are you interested in exploring for potential income?

20. What value do you bring to your current job or any job you’ve held?

Integrating Ikigai

21. How can you combine your passions, strengths, and what the world needs into a potential career or hobby?

22. What small steps can you take to start aligning your daily activities with your Ikigai?

23. What changes can you make in your life to focus more on your Ikigai?

24. Who can support you on your journey to finding and living your Ikigai?

25. What would a typical day look like if you were fully living your Ikigai?

Reflecting on Progress

26. What have you learned about yourself through this journaling process?

27. How has your understanding of Ikigai evolved over time?

28. What obstacles have you encountered in pursuing your Ikigai, and how can you overcome them?

29. What successes have you experienced in aligning your life with your Ikigai?

30. How can you maintain balance and avoid burnout while pursuing your Ikigai?

ıllı ⠀ : ⠀Let ur passion be your guiding star, leading you to a life filled with joy, purpose, and unshakable fulfillment.stay healthy I love u <143 ❛ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

© bloomzone

[doctorsiren]

Today’s textured canvases once again featuring that Legally Mom AU 😁

Miles and Phoenix were never separated, and so they remained best friends through high school and college. They both went to law school, but Phoenix got a BFA and went to law school wanting to defend artistic and creative rights. He also went because he would be bored all day if Miles was still going to school and he wasn’t

Edgeworth actually becomes a lawyer and he works at his mother’s firm

Mia ends up working there instead of at Grossberg’s because it makes more sense that she would work at the firm connected to DL-6 and also uh she would have a woman as her boss lmao (Eleanor ends up becoming like a mother-figure for Mia, and Miles becomes like a younger brother to her)

Since Mia isn’t working at Grossberg’s, she wasn’t involved in the Fawles trial (which was prosecuted by Franziska). Diego was the defense attorney on that one, and he went on a solo mission to investigate Dahlia. He and Mia met and became friends, but Diego kept the Dahlia investigation close to his chest and a secret, partially to protect Mia (since they were friends now and since she was a new attorney and inexperienced). Diego and Mia finally ask each other out one day, and they plan to have a date later that week, but Diego then has to go to a meeting he has…which was with Dahlia…and he got poisoned…and by the time he wakes up, Mia is dead and they never got to go on that first date. He was asleep and unable to protect her, which is why he didn’t tell her about the Dahlia investigation in the first place. He ends up blaming the Edgeworths (Eleanor and Miles) for her death.

Dahlia (Iris) still dates Phoenix since Phoenix and Miles are dummies and have yet to confess their feelings for each other (although Eleanor can tell). Since Mia wasn’t a part of the Dahlia investigation, and since it was handled by a different firm, it didn’t raise any red flags when Phoenix started dating this chick. Phoenix was also in the courthouse library that day because, again, he wanted to go to law school with Miles (subconsciously pulling an Elle Woods).

When the murder of Doug happens, Miles isn’t a lawyer yet since, even though he could have skipped a grade or two, he never did because he didn’t want the increase in social isolation and also didn’t want to get separated from his friends he already had at his grade level. So he’s the same year as Phoenix (senior in college). I think Eleanor would then be the one defending Phoenix (rather than Mia) since she’s also basically a mother to him (he practically lived at the Edgeworth household since his home life wasn’t great, and then he moved in after his mother passed away his senior year of high school. So he’ll call her Mom and such, but he doesn’t refer to Miles as his brother and neither does Eleanor refer to them as brothers since She Knows What They Are [even if they don’t really know yet lmao])

We also figured out that for Turnabout Goodbyes, Eleanor is the one framed for Hammond’s murder since MVK wants to get rid of her as she is still trying to investigate the truth and he can’t have that. Miles has to defend his own mother BUT THEN when Miles starts saying the stuff about how he probably is the one who killed his own father, Eleanor then defends HIM and it’s just…Ough…mother son bonding over murder and death of father 😭😭😭😭

Just some thoughts 😁

[gemsofthegalaxy]

Something that finally clicked for me when watching Hadestown live,

Hades gives Orpheus the test that he himself goes through every spring.

This really solidified in my brain when I noticed that Hades gets the red flower and is connected more solidly to the other couple. While I always understood they were mirrors, somehow the trial itself and the significance of what Hades is asking Orpheus to do never really hit me until I watched it.

But I realized that what Hades might be thinking here is, well- you may judge me for losing faith in my wife over the long course of our relationship, missing her for months at a time with few others to talk to or support me. Let's see if this romantic, bleeding heart can do that, can feel the absence of his love and his community and still keep trusting her, himself, and the system.

And he can't- one of the major themes of Hadestown is that working together and building community rather than isolating yourself and hoarding wealth is better for the heart, mind, and soul. So taking away the walls and shades and Eurydice who were supporting Orpheus leads to him doubting himself and those people and ultimately looking back.

[mononijikayu]

casual — geto suguru.

You nodded, trying to keep your expression neutral. "Yeah, it was nice. Just, you know, casual." "Right, casual. I know, doll." Suguru echoed, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer before he looked away. "No strings attached." "Exactly, yeah…." you said, forcing a smile. "We're both busy, and this doesn't have to mean anything more than... what it was." "Yeah." he said, his voice a bit quieter. "Just a one-time thing. No need to complicate things."

GENRE: Alternate Universe - Canon Convergence;

WARNING/s: Angst, Unrequited Love, Romance, Casual Friends with Benefit, Falling In Love, Lack of Communication, Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Food, Disassociation, Smut, Depiction of Sexual Intercourse, Depiction of Depression, Depiction of Food Withdrawal, Depiction of Disassociation;

WORDS: 6k words.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this took me awhile to write and i wish it didn't but i was busy trying to help my brother heal up from his own fever and then i also felt unwell after going out and visiting my cousins. crazy week so far, but i'm glad to be writing again!!! i'll be publishing pasilyo tomorrow!!! i hope you enjoy this and see you soon <3

══════════════════

YOU HATE THIS APARTMENT. You know you picked it out. You went through the painstaking process of finding the best you could afford in all of Tokyo, sifting through countless listings, visiting countless open houses, and scrutinizing every detail with a critical eye. You even reached out to Nanami, seeking his advice on how he had found his own place, hoping his insight would guide you to something perfect. 

But now, standing in the middle of the empty apartment, it just feels overwhelming. The walls seem to close in around you, their pristine surfaces a harsh reminder of the solitude that awaits you. The space, while objectively beautiful and well-chosen, feels alien and unwelcoming. The soft, neutral colors and high-end finishes that once seemed so appealing now appear cold and impersonal, like a display in a showroom rather than a home.

Each corner, every room, is meticulously arranged, yet it all feels distant, disconnected. The furniture you carefully selected—elegant, stylish pieces that should have brought comfort—now feels like mere props in a stage set, lacking the warmth and familiarity of a true home. The shelves stand empty, the walls bare, and the lack of personal touches only amplifies the feeling of displacement.

You had envisioned this place as a haven, a refuge where you could build a new chapter of your life. Yet now, it feels like a stark reminder of everything you’ve lost, of the gaping void left by Suguru’s absence and the weight of the decisions that brought you here. The reality of living alone in such a polished, empty space contrasts sharply with the vibrant, chaotic life you once had, and the dissonance is almost too much to bear.

The once-anticipated comfort of the apartment now feels like a cage, trapping you in a space that reflects the isolation and emotional distance you’re struggling to overcome. You try to imagine filling the space with personal belongings, with memories that would make it truly yours, but the task feels daunting, almost insurmountable. Each step you take feels heavy, burdened by the weight of unfulfilled expectations and the deep, pervasive sadness that lingers in every corner of this new, unwelcoming environment.

Since Haibara died and Suguru defected, the world has felt irreparably altered. Their absence has left a void not just in your life but in the very fabric of the world you once knew. Their departures were seismic shifts, upheavals that have reshaped everything—your sense of security, your understanding of your place in the world, and the very essence of who you are. The bonds you once relied on have frayed, the connections you took for granted have been severed, and you are left grappling with a reality that seems both unfamiliar and unkind.

The change is not just in the external world but within yourself. The person you were before all these events feels like a distant memory, replaced by someone who struggles to find meaning and connection in the aftermath of loss and betrayal. How could you not change when everything around you has been transformed so drastically? The world has moved on, and you are left to navigate its new contours alone.

People are worried about you. The concern is palpable, especially from Gojo Satoru, who has always been like a brother to you, a constant in a world that has become increasingly unpredictable. His worry is perhaps the most poignant, reflecting the deep bond you share and the impact of your struggles on those who care about you. His concern is a reminder that while you feel isolated, there are still people who want to help, who see the pain you’re enduring, and who are willing to support you even as you grapple with the overwhelming weight of your new reality.

He’d been trying to reach you for weeks, his calls and messages a persistent thread in the silence of your days. Each notification from Gojo felt like a distant echo, a reminder of the world outside the narrow confines of your apartment. Yet, each time you saw his name on your screen, you hesitated, unable to muster the energy to respond. The weight of the past was a constant companion, keeping you awake through endless nights.

The dreams, when they came, were a cruel mockery of the life you once knew. Each night was filled with hauntingly vivid memories of better times with Suguru—laughter shared in quiet moments, his touch, and the warmth of his presence that now felt like an elusive phantom. The contrast between those dreams and the stark reality of your waking life was almost too much to bear.

Food, once a source of comfort and nourishment, had become a meaningless necessity. The meals you prepared, though carefully chosen, lay untouched on the counter. Their taste had lost all appeal, a reflection of the emptiness that now colored every aspect of your existence. Eating had become a mere act of survival, a stark reminder of the joy that had been stripped away.

The outside world, with its bustling streets and vibrant energy, felt distant, almost foreign. Tokyo’s vibrant chaos seemed to exist in a different realm, one that you could observe but not truly engage with. The city that once felt like a living, breathing entity now felt like a backdrop to your solitary struggle, its noise and activity a harsh contrast to the silence of your own life.

It was on one of these evenings, shrouded in solitude, that Gojo finally appeared at your door. His concern was palpable, a stark reminder of how far you’d retreated from those who cared about you. When you opened the door, he stood there, his face a mixture of frustration and worry.

“I’ve been calling you for weeks.” he said, his voice heavy with concern. “Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in ages.”

You tried to muster a smile, but it fell short, your exhaustion too profound to conceal. “Oh, Gojo. I didn’t expect you.”

He stepped inside, his eyes quickly taking in the state of your apartment. The neatness of the space did nothing to hide the emptiness that pervaded it. “You don’t look well.” he said, his cerulean gaze moving to the cold meal on the counter. “I’ve been worried. What’s going on?”

You shrugged, feeling the weight of his scrutiny. “It’s nothing. Just... struggling, I guess. Food doesn’t taste right anymore.”

Gojo moved closer to the counter, his eyes scanning the untouched food. “This isn’t just about food. You need to take care of yourself. When was the last time you had a decent meal? When was the last time you really slept?”

You looked away, your voice trembling as you tried to suppress the tears. “I don’t sleep much. When I do, it’s filled with dreams of Suguru. It’s like he’s everywhere, but also nowhere.”

His expression softened, a flicker of empathy in his eyes. “I get it. You’re missing him. But you can’t let it consume you. You need to find a way to move forward.”

You shook your head, the enormity of the situation pressing down on you. “It’s not that simple. The outside world feels so distant now, almost foreign. I’m just... lost.”

Gojo’s hand gently rested on your shoulder, his touch a grounding presence. “I know…But you can’t do this. He…he wouldn’t want this either.”

You knew that. But you felt a pang of guilt as you tried to reassure Satoru about your well-being. The effort to project a sense of normalcy, to offer him even a glimmer of hope that things might improve, weighed heavily on you. You knew that your struggles were far from over, and while you didn’t want to burden him with the full extent of your despair, the pretense felt like a delicate dance on the edge of honesty.

Because you don’t know how he does it. How he keeps himself from going insane. You wished you did. You wished you could be him. Because you’re exhausted. You wanted to move on. You wanted to be free. But still, you’re here in this cage of grief, living like this. Being in pain. Being empty. 

Your graduation, which should have been a moment of triumph, was marred by his absence. The empty chair next to you was a constant reminder of what you’d lost. Now, in the stillness of your apartment, the silence is deafening. The memories of laughter and shared dreams haunt you, and the loneliness seeps into your bones. 

You can’t help but wonder where he is, what he’s doing, if he ever thinks of you too. Suguru’s defection was more than just a betrayal; it was a fracture, a deep wound that hasn’t healed. And as you sit in the vast emptiness of your apartment, you wonder if it ever will.

Back when you lived in Jujutsu High's dorms, life was different. Shoko would pop by unannounced, always ready to share the latest gossip, her presence a comforting constant. Those moments of laughter and whispered secrets felt like a lifetime ago. Back then, you had Digimon show nights with Satoru, the two of you arguing over favorite characters and plot twists, the banter and camaraderie a soothing balm to the stresses of your training.

And then there were those cold nights when you needed warmth, and Suguru Geto was there. His presence was a refuge, his arms a sanctuary. The conversations you'd have, the plans you'd make for the future, they were all wrapped in a cocoon of shared understanding and affection. His departure left a gaping hole, one that you haven't been able to fill.

Now, you are all alone. Anyone is, with your one’s grief. And now you truly are, separated from everyone else. The silence is oppressive, the loneliness a constant companion. The walls of your new apartment seem to close in on you, a stark reminder of what you once had and what you've lost. The memories of Shoko's gossip, Satoru's laughter, and Suguru's warmth are ghosts that haunt you, their absence a painful reminder of the life you once knew.

In the stillness of the night, you sometimes catch yourself hoping for a knock on the door, for Suguru to walk in with that familiar smile, as if everything could go back to the way it was. But reality is harsh, and you know that those days are gone. All you have now are the memories and the lingering hope that somehow, someday, things might change.

Geto Suguru left without saying anything, that day he went on his mission. He was supposed to be back in a day or two—at least that’s what he said during the phone call you shared when he was on that train. His voice, calm and reassuring, echoed in your mind long after the call ended. But that was the last time you heard his voice. The last time he called you. It was him getting off your seesaw game, finally stepping out of your world and leaving you with nothing but a broken heart.

And yet, he was never your boyfriend. You and him kept up the pretense, a delicate dance of closeness and distance, never truly naming what you had. The word "casual" was used way too much, a shield to protect fragile hearts from the vulnerability of the word "love." You remember the nights spent together, the conversations that felt like they meant something more, but neither of you dared to cross that line.

You often think back to that call, replaying every word, every nuance in his voice. It was supposed to be just another mission, nothing out of the ordinary. But something shifted, something changed, and Suguru never came back. His departure was like a cruel twist of fate, leaving you grappling with unanswered questions and unspoken feelings.

In the aftermath, you were left to navigate the wreckage alone. The routines you shared, the subtle intimacy of your connection, all shattered. The memories of his touch, his laugh, the way he looked at you when he thought you weren’t watching—they haunt you, a bittersweet reminder of what could have been.

You’ve tried to move on, to piece together a semblance of normalcy, but the void Suguru left is vast and unrelenting. The "casual" facade you both maintained now feels like a cruel joke, the missed opportunities for something deeper, more meaningful, a constant source of regret. You wonder if he ever felt the same, if he ever wanted to bridge the gap between you, but the answers are lost to the silence he left behind.

The seesaw game you played, the delicate balance of give and take, is now a lonely ride. You’re left suspended in midair, longing for the weight of his presence to bring you back down. But all you have are memories and the lingering ache of a love that was never fully realized, a connection that was always just out of reach.

The room was quiet, the only sound was the soft hum of the city outside the window. You lay there, the sheets tangled around your legs, your mind spinning with a mix of emotions. Suguru was next to you, propped up on one elbow, his dark eyes watching you intently.

"That was... something." you finally said, breaking the silence.

Suguru chuckled softly, a sound that sent a shiver down your spine. "Yeah, it was," he agreed. "Unexpected, but not unwelcome."

You nodded, trying to keep your expression neutral. "Yeah, it was nice. Just, you know, casual."

"Right, casual. I know, doll." Suguru echoed, his gaze lingering on you a moment longer before he looked away. "No strings attached."

"Exactly, yeah…." you said, forcing a smile. "We're both busy, and this doesn't have to mean anything more than... what it was."

"Yeah." he said, his voice a bit quieter. "Just a one-time thing. No need to complicate things."

You felt a pang in your chest but ignored it, keeping your tone light. "Right, no need to complicate things. We have enough going on with our missions and training."

"Absolutely, you’re right." Suguru said, but his purple eyes told a different story. There was a flicker of something deeper, something more, but it was quickly masked by a casual smile. "We're just two friends who had a good time."

"Exactly." you repeated, wishing you could believe it. "......Just two friends."

Suguru reached out, his fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. "I don't want this to change anything between us, doll." he said softly. "I value what we have."

You nodded, your heart pounding. "Me too. This doesn't have to change anything."

He smiled, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Good. I'm glad we agree."

You both lay there for a moment longer, the weight of unspoken words hanging between you. Finally, Suguru sighed and rolled onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. "So, breakfast?"

You laughed, the tension breaking slightly. "Yeah, breakfast sounds good."

You felt like crying again, and you hated it. You hated yourself for it. Because there was nothing between you and Suguru. You were casual. It’s been a year, and there was nothing after that. He left you. He chose his path. He chose to burn the world to free himself from torment. But now, you are in torment. 

You sat on the edge of your bed, the weight of the silence pressing down on you. The memories of that night haunted you, the way he had looked at you, the way his touch had set your skin on fire. It was casual. Just a one-time thing. That’s what you told yourself, what you both agreed on. But the lie felt like a knife twisting in your gut now.

Suguru had left, and with him, he took the future you had secretly hoped for. You were in love with him. You didn’t want anything to be casual with him. You didn’t want it to be nothing. You wanted more, so much more, and now you knew you would never get anything.

The tears threatened to spill over, and you clenched your fists, trying to hold them back. You hated how weak you felt, how vulnerable. The world moved on, but you were stuck, trapped in a web of your own making. Suguru’s absence was a constant ache, a reminder of what you had lost, what you could never have.

He chose his path, and it led him away from you. It led him to destruction, to a darkness that swallowed him whole. And now, you were left to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart, alone in the vast emptiness of your new apartment. The echoes of your own thoughts were deafening, and the realization that you would never see him again, never hear his voice, never feel his touch—it was almost too much to bear.

You buried your face in your hands, the tears finally escaping, hot and bitter. The sobs wracked your body, each one a painful reminder of your unspoken feelings. You had wanted so much more, but you had been too afraid to ask, too afraid to risk the fragile balance you had. And now, it was too late.

Suguru was gone, and with him, any chance of something more. You were left with memories and regrets, with the knowledge that he had chosen his path, and you were not a part of it. The torment of unrequited love consumed you, a relentless ache that you couldn’t escape. You cried for what was, for what could have been, and for the future that would never be.

There was a strange stillness in the air, a quiet that felt almost suffocating. It felt different tonight. You sat on the edge of your bed, staring blankly at the wall, your thoughts a tangled mess of memories and regrets. The knock on your door was so soft, you almost didn't hear it. For a moment, you thought you had imagined it, but then it came again, more insistent this time.

You wiped your eyes, forcing yourself to stand. Each step toward the door felt like walking through quicksand, your heart pounding in your chest. You weren't expecting anyone. As you reached for the doorknob, a part of you wondered if you were dreaming, if the grief had finally driven you mad.

You opened the door slowly, the hinges creaking in protest. And there he was. Geto Suguru stood in the doorway, looking every bit as if you remembered him, but different somehow. His eyes held a depth of sadness, a haunted look that mirrored your own. He seemed exhausted. As much as you, you think. But you say nothing for a few moments. You just stare at him, as though trying to be sure you weren’t hallucinating. 

"Suguru?" Your voice was barely a whisper, the word catching in your throat.

He gave you a small, almost hesitant smile. "Hey."

"What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice trembling with emotions. “Why—”

"I needed to see you, doll." he said softly. "I just had to see you tonight….will you let me in?”

You don’t know how he found out your address. Or how he was able to know which apartment block yours was. But you didn’t say anything. You didn’t want to force anything tonight. You nodded and stepped back, allowing him to enter. The silence between you was heavy, filled with all the words that had been left unsaid. You closed the door and turned to face him, your heart aching with a mix of hope and fear.

"Why now?" you asked, your eyes searching for him. “Why come back to me now? I….I’m not…”

He looks at you, almost longingly. “I don’t know.”

The weight of Suguru's confession hung in the air, but before you could process it, he spoke again, breaking the silence. "I know this is unexpected. I know I don't have the right to just show up here like this, but I need to talk to you.”

You stepped back, the doorway now feeling like a chasm between you. "Suguru, this is a bad idea. You shouldn’t be—”

He took a hesitant step inside, his presence filling the space. "I just want to talk. Please."

The room felt smaller, more suffocating, with him in it. The tension was palpable, a fragile thread that could snap at any moment. He glanced around the room, his eyes lingering on familiar objects—things that hadn't changed since he left. Things he wished wouldn't change. From the corner of his eye, he could see it. That uniform button he left behind. He purses his lips.

"How are you?" he asked, his voice low and careful.

You crossed your arms, trying to hold yourself together. "How do you think I am, Suguru? There's an order to kill you on the spot. If people find out you're here with me, the higher ups will get me.”

He flinched at your words, a shadow passing over his face. "I know the risks. I wouldn't have come if I didn't think it was important."

You shook your head, frustration and fear mingling in your chest. "Important? You think this is important? You left, Suguru. You choose your path, and it has nothing to do with me. Now you show up out of nowhere, and you want to talk?"

"I had to." he said, his voice almost pleading. "I've made so many mistakes, but leaving you was the worst one. I had to see you, to tell you how I feel."

Your heart ached at his words, but the reality of the situation loomed large. "And what do you expect me to do with that information? Do you want me to just forgive and forget? To pretend like everything's fine when it's not?"

He took another step closer, his eyes searching yours. "I don't expect anything. I just needed you to know. I needed to try and make things right."

You looked away, the emotions swirling inside you too much to bear. "Suguru, you don't understand. It's not just about us. If they find out you're here, they'll kill you. And I'll be branded a traitor."

He nodded slowly, understanding the gravity of your words. "I know. And I'm sorry for putting you in this position. But I couldn't stay away. Not anymore."

The room was thick with tension, the weight of everything unsaid pressing down on you both. You wanted to reach out, to bridge the gap between you, but the fear of the consequences held you back.

"I don't know what to do." you admitted, your voice breaking. "I don't know how…I don’t know how to handle this."

Suguru stepped closer, his hand hovering near yours. "You don't have to do anything. Just let me be here, even if it's just for a little while. Let me be with you."

You looked up at him, the pain and regret in his eyes mirroring your own. The risk was enormous, but the pull of your heart was stronger. For a moment, you allowed yourself to imagine that things could be different, that maybe, somehow, you could find a way through this together.

But reality crashed back down, harsh and unyielding. "Suguru, this can't last. You know that."

He nodded, his expression filled with sorrow. "I know. But for now, can we just..."

You took a deep breath, the conflict tearing you apart. "Okay. For now."

Suguru’s eyes softened at your words, relief washing over his features. The air between you was thick with unspoken emotions, the tension palpable. You could feel your resolve wavering, the walls you had built around your heart crumbling with every passing second.

He took another step closer, closing the distance between you. His hand reached out, gently brushing against yours. The touch was electric, sending a shiver down your spine. You looked up at him, your breath catching in your throat as his gaze held yours.

“For now.” he repeated softly, his voice filled with a mixture of hope and longing.

You couldn’t hold back any longer. The months of separation, the endless nights of aching for him, all came crashing down in that moment. You closed the gap between you, your lips finding his in a desperate, hungry kiss.

Suguru responded instantly, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer. The kiss was intense, filled with all the emotions you had both kept bottled up for so long. It was as if you were trying to make up for lost time, to pour all your love and longing into that single, searing connection.

Your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, needing to feel him, to assure yourself that he was really there. Suguru’s hands roamed over your back, his touch igniting a fire within you. The kiss deepened, growing more fervent, more desperate. You broke the kiss just long enough to catch your breath, your foreheads resting against each other. The intensity of your emotions left you both breathless, but neither of you pulled away.

“Suguru.” you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of everything you felt.

“I know.” he murmured, his breath warm against your lips. “I know.”

You kissed him again, this time even more passionately, your need for him overwhelming any lingering doubts. His hands slid under your shirt, his touch sending sparks of electricity through your body. You gasped against his lips, your body responding to him in ways you had tried to forget.

The world outside ceased to exist, the only thing that mattered was Suguru. Being here with you. The kiss grew more intense, a fierce clash of lips and tongues, as if you were both trying to make up for the lost time, for all the moments you had been apart.

Suguru’s hands moved to your waist, lifting you effortlessly and guiding you toward the bed. You didn’t resist, your body craving his touch, his closeness. As he laid you down gently, his lips never leaving yours, you felt a sense of rightness, a feeling that this was where you were meant to be.

His body pressed against yours, the heat between you growing more intense. Every touch, every kiss, was a reminder of what you had lost and found again. Your hands roamed over his back, pulling him closer, needing to feel every inch of him.

“Suguru.” you whispered, your voice filled with a mixture of need and desperation.

He responded with a soft groan, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. “I’ve missed you so much, doll.” he murmured against your skin. “Too much…”

You arched into his touch, your body responding to him in ways you had almost forgotten. The intensity of your desire for him was overwhelming, a force you couldn’t control. You pulled him back up, capturing his lips in another searing kiss.

As the kiss deepened, the intensity grew, the passion between you igniting like a wildfire. And for the first time in a long time, you allowed yourself to hope, to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something more.

The walls themselves felt like they were closing in, drawn tighter by the charged energy of the moment. The temperature seemed to rise with every movement, the warmth of your bodies pressed together creating a cocoon of intimacy and passion. 

You moaned against the kiss, feeling his hand around the back of your neck, his fingers tangling in your hair. He was always so good at making you defenseless when it came to him. When it came to Suguru, you surrendered without a fight.

His lips trailed down your jawline, planting heated kisses along the sensitive skin of your neck. Each touch sent shivers down your spine, your body arching into him, craving more. His other hand roamed over your back, his touch firm yet gentle, as if he were memorizing every inch of you.

"You have no idea how much I've missed this." he whispered against your skin, his breath hot and tantalizing. “How much I missed you.”

You could barely form words, your mind clouded with desire. "S–suguru…." you breathed, your voice trembling with need.

He pulled back just enough to look into your eyes, his own gaze dark with intensity. "Say it, doll." he urged, his voice a low, husky command. “Use your words.”

"Suguru, please." you repeated, feeling the heat of his name on your lips, the weight of it in the air between you. “I need you.”

A satisfied smile curved his lips before he kissed you again, deeper this time, his tongue exploring your mouth with a fierce, possessive hunger. You responded eagerly, your hands clutching at his shoulders, pulling him closer, needing to feel him, to lose yourself in him.

His hand slid down from your neck to the small of your back, pulling you against him, your bodies fitting together perfectly. The sensation was almost overwhelming, a mix of intense pleasure and deep, unfulfilled longing. Your heart pounded in your chest, the sound echoing in your ears, drowning out any remaining doubts.

As the kiss grew more fervent, more desperate, you felt yourself melting into him, your defenses crumbling with every touch, every caress. Suguru had always had this effect on you, this ability to make you forget everything else, to make you feel like you were the only two people in the world.

"I missed you." you whispered against his lips, the confession slipping out before you could stop it.

He groaned in response, his hand sliding up under your shirt, his touch searing against your skin. "I missed you too, doll." he murmured, his voice thick with desire. "More than you know."

As he continued to kiss you, his hands exploring your body with a reverence that made your heart ache, you realized that no matter what happened next, no matter the consequences, this moment was worth it. Being with Suguru, feeling his love, his desire, his need—it was everything you had ever wanted, everything you had been missing.

And in that instant, you knew you would face any danger, any threat, just to keep him here with you, to hold onto this feeling for as long as you could. Because when it came to Suguru, you were willing to surrender without a fight.

The heat between you was almost unbearable, the intensity of your desire for Suguru consuming you. His hands continued their exploration, each touch sending waves of pleasure through your body. You could feel his need, his desperation, mirrored in your own.

"Suguru…" you whispered again, your voice a mix of longing and urgency.

He responded with a deep, passionate kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth, tasting, exploring. Your hands roamed over his back, pulling him closer, needing to feel every inch of him against you. The sensation of his body pressed against yours was intoxicating, driving you to the brink of madness.

His hand slid under your shirt, his fingers tracing a path up your spine, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. You arched into his touch, a soft moan escaping your lips as he reached the clasp of your bra, deftly undoing it. The feeling of his hands on your bare skin was electric, every nerve ending alive with sensation.

"You feel so good, doll." he murmured against your lips, his voice husky with desire. 

His words sent a shiver down your spine, your body responding instinctively. You tugged at his shirt, needing to feel his skin against yours. He helped you, pulling it over his head and tossing it aside, revealing the toned muscles of his chest and abdomen.

You ran your hands over his chest, your fingers tracing the lines of his muscles, feeling the heat of his skin beneath your touch. He groaned softly, his hands moving to your hips, pulling you closer. The feel of his arousal against your thigh sent a surge of desire through you, your need for him growing more intense with every passing second.

He lifted your shirt over your head, his eyes darkened with lust as he took in the sight of you. "You're beautiful." he said, his voice filled with admiration.

You blushed under his gaze, feeling a mix of shyness and exhilaration. "Suguru." you breathed, reaching for him.

He kissed you again, hungrier than before. You could feel his hands sliding down to your jeans, unbuttoning them with practiced ease. You helped him, pushing the fabric down your hips, kicking them off along with your underwear. The cool air against your skin was a stark contrast to the heat between you, heightening your senses.

Suguru's eyes roamed over your body, his expression one of reverence and hunger. He reached for you, his hands gentle yet firm as he guided you back onto the bed. You lay there, your heart pounding, as he stripped off the rest of his clothes, revealing the full extent of his arousal.

He climbed onto the bed, his body hovering over yours, the heat of his skin radiating against you. He kissed you again, his lips trailing down your neck, your collarbone, his hands exploring every inch of you. The sensation was almost overwhelming, your body arching into his touch, craving more.

"I need you." he whispered against your skin, his voice filled with urgency.

"Then take me." you replied, your voice trembling with anticipation.

He positioned himself between your legs, his hands gripping your hips as he slowly entered you. The sensation was exquisite, a mix of pleasure and pain that left you gasping, your body adjusting to the fullness of him.

"So deep, Su…." you moaned, your hands clutching at his back, your nails digging into his skin.

He moved slowly at first, his strokes deep and measured, his eyes locked onto yours. The intensity of his gaze, the connection between you, was almost too much to bear. You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper, urging him on.

He responded with a groan, his pace quickening, each thrust sending waves of pleasure through your body. You moved together in perfect rhythm, your bodies melding into one, the world outside fading away.

Every touch, every kiss, every movement—each a story of love and desire you felt for each other. The intensity built with each passing second, your moans mingling with his, the sound of your bodies coming together filling the room.

"S–suguru!" you gasped, feeling the tension building, the climax approaching. “I….I’m close!”

He kissed you deeply, his movements becoming more frantic, more desperate. "I love you, doll." he whispered against your lips, his voice raw with emotion. “More than you know.”

The words sent you over the edge, your body convulsing with pleasure, your vision blurring as the orgasm washed over you. Suguru followed moments later, releasing a powerful, shuddering wave that left him breathless, his body collapsing against yours.

You lay there together, your bodies intertwined, the aftermath of your lovemaking leaving you both spent and sated. For a moment, the world was perfect, the dangers and fears forgotten. In that moment, all that mattered was the love you shared, the connection that bound you together.

Suguru propped himself up on one elbow, his gaze tender as he looked down at you. You turned to face him, your eyes heavy with a mixture of satisfaction and lingering emotions. He stroked your hair gently, his touch soothing. 

"I know I’ve been gone for a long time.”

“You have.”

“I’m sorry for leaving you without any explanation." He whispered to you. “For making you suffer.”

You sighed, closing your eyes as you listened to his words. "It’s been really hard. I didn’t know if you were ever coming back. And when you did… it was like opening old wounds all over again."

Suguru’s fingers traced patterns on your back, his touch calming. "I understand. I’ve had time to think about everything, and I realize now how much I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. But I needed to see you, to try to make things right, even if I’m not sure how."

You looked up at him, your eyes filled with a mix of sadness and hope. "What do you want from me, Suguru? What do we do now?"

He took a deep breath, his expression serious. "I don’t expect things to go back to how they were before. I just want to be honest with you.” 

The sincerity in his voice touched something deep inside you. You took his hand, squeezing it gently. "You’re someone dear to me, Suguru. You always will be.”

You could see how painfully beautiful his smile was. And just as much, how easily he started to grieve this moment. “I know.”

You snuggled closer to him, your body seeking the warmth and comfort of his embrace. As the weight of the conversation and the exhaustion from the emotional rollercoaster began to take their toll, you felt yourself growing drowsy.

Suguru’s arms tightened around you, his presence a soothing balm to your restless heart. "You should get some rest," he murmured, his voice gentle. "I’ll be here until you fall asleep."

You nodded, your eyes fluttering shut as the comforting rhythm of his heartbeat lulled you into a peaceful slumber. The feeling of his body pressed against yours, the gentle caress of his hand on your back, was all you needed to drift off.

When you awoke, it was to the soft, hesitant brush of Suguru’s lips against yours. You stirred, your eyes blinking open to find him gazing at you with a mixture of sadness and affection.

“I have to go, doll,” Suguru said quietly, his voice filled with regret. “But I’ll be thinking of you. Always. Wherever I go, wherever I am. I’ll only love you. Only you.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. The weight of his words hung heavily in the air, each syllable resonating deep within you. You wanted to respond, to find the right words to express how much his declaration meant to you, but the lump in your throat made it difficult to speak.

Instead, you simply reached out, your hand finding his, holding it tightly as if trying to anchor him to this moment. His fingers intertwined with yours, and for a brief second, you found solace in the connection, the warmth of his touch providing a bittersweet comfort.

Suguru leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering as if trying to imprint the memory of your skin on his own. His eyes met yours one last time, filled with an intensity that spoke of a deep and unspoken promise.

“Take care of yourself, doll.” he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath. “Live for me.”

You nodded, your eyes misting as you tried to hold back the tears. “I will. You too, Suguru. Be safe.

He kissed you one last time, a tender, lingering kiss that seemed to hold all the words left unspoken. His lips brushed against yours with a softness that belied the intensity of the emotions swirling between you. It was a kiss that conveyed both farewell and the depth of his feelings, a final, aching promise wrapped in the warmth of his touch.

As he pulled away, his eyes searched for yours, filled with a profound sadness that matched the heaviness in your heart. There was a moment where time seemed to stand still, where every second stretched into eternity. The look he gave you was a mixture of regret and deep affection, as if he were trying to imprint this final moment into his memory, to hold onto it even as he had to let go.

With a final, loving glance, he slowly rose from the bed, the movement reluctant and heavy. The contrast between the intimacy you had shared moments before and the distance growing between you now felt like a cruel irony. He began to dress, his actions slow and methodical, each movement a reminder of the separation that loomed ahead.

You watched him, feeling a hollow ache settle in your chest. The sight of him buttoning his shirt, pulling on his jacket, seemed to magnify the reality of his departure. Each piece of clothing he put on felt like a barrier, a wall being erected between you. The warmth of his touch was replaced by the cold distance of impending goodbye.

When he finally finished dressing, he paused by the door, turning back to you with one last, lingering look. His eyes were filled with a mixture of sorrow and determination, the kind of gaze that promised he would carry you with him, even as he walked away. The sight of him standing there, so close yet so far, was almost too much to bear.

He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, and then slowly walked toward the door. Each step he took felt like a betrayal to the moment you had shared, each creak of the floorboards a painful reminder of the separation. As he reached the door, he turned to look at you one last time, his expression a final plea for you to understand.

“Goodbye, doll.” he said softly, his voice breaking slightly with the weight of his emotions.

With those final words, he opened the door and stepped out into the hallway, leaving you alone in the room that now felt unbearably empty. The door closed behind him with a soft click, and the sound echoed in the silence that followed.

You sat there, feeling the overwhelming sense of loss, the weight of his absence pressing down on you. The room, once filled with the warmth of his presence, now felt cold and desolate. You reached out to the space he had occupied, your hand trembling as if trying to grasp at the remnants of his touch.

The tears finally came, streaming down your face in silent, aching sobs. The finality of his departure settled in, leaving you with the bittersweet memory of his touch, his kisses, and the love you had shared. As you buried your face in your hands, the pain of his absence was a stark reminder of the reality you had to face, the love that remained but was now out of reach.

You lay back down on the bed, the lingering warmth of his presence a bittersweet comfort. Yearning for what remained of him. The reality of his departure settled in, slowly. Tears kept falling and you couldn’t stop them. When you closed your eyes, all you could see was him. 

You cried until you were too tired to do it. And as you drifted back to sleep, you held onto the memory of his touch, his kisses, and the promise that, despite everything, he would always be a part of your heart. He would always be your ghost. He would always haunt you, even when you’re old and gray — he would always be more than a casual memory. He’d always be the one that got away. And you knew….you were his too.

[ivesambrose]

𝔏𝔬𝔳𝔢𝔩𝔶 𝔱𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 𝔱𝔬 𝔩𝔬𝔬𝔨 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔡 𝔱𝔬 𐙚

Its been a rather cold month so I decided to channel something warm to look forward to 🤍

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at Ivesambrose@gmail.com with your name, date of birth and query

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Picture 1

You may have been dealing with challenging situations or people who are quick to throw jabs at you or throw a wrench in your plans. This may have led you to question your own intuition and potential making you scared and hesitant to take a step forward or take any risks in the fear of failure. You'll realize that their scattered mindset and opinions aren't supposed to be your core beliefs. You're not supposed to take advice from people whose life you don't see yourself living. Rather, you should focus on what makes you bloom from within.

You can look forward to a shift in belief system that will in turn change your entire life and reality for the better.

You can also look forward to something that excites you in the form of a rewarding opportunity (especially in terms of career for most of you) that you have been wishing for or were being patient for the longest time.

You can look forward to something valuable that will grow with time and won't be a fleeting thing. You'll be able to trust your intuition and judgement again. You'll be receiving nurturing and quality connections in your life as well. People who care and support you and your dreams.

All of this comes at the small cost of slowly letting go of your self sabotaging tendencies.

Timing: Coming 21 days

Picture 2

You've recently fathomed the power of your thoughts and words and how time and circumstances are irrelevant when it comes to them materalizing. This has been happening a lot but in the past you have questioned them but now you've grown more adamant, strict and assertive. You've learnt to stand your ground. You want to fully step into your power more than anything and allow no one not even yourself to stand in your way.

You can certainly look forward to a completion and celebration. Your labour has been steady and your harvest will be abundant. Enjoy your prosperity. You'll also be embarking on a new journey in your life, ideas and outlook will expand, no one will be able to confine you.

There's a lot of passion coming your way, it will allow you to overcome any fear you may face.

That long awaited renewed hope, clarity and peace is finally yours. You can actually see your path ahead, the destination that you'll reach, so you'll choose to embrace and enjoy your journey.

You can also look forward to a physical glow up, being appreciated, being proud of yourself and your achievements. Shedding guilt. As well as connecting with people or existing friends who feel like your tribe, with whom you don't have to mask your true self to be loved and accepted.

Timings : coming 14 days, stay loyal to your end goals. (September for some of you too)

Picture 3

You can see the dots connecting in your life, maybe you don't know how exactly, you may not have the outline laid out in front of you but when you aren't overthinking it, you realize how one thing leads to another and gain momentum. Things aren't exactly as a standstill as you think. You're extremely disciplined and focused, so whatever you have set sights on is bound to happen or be yours.

You may not realize how powerful your esoteric gifts are but you will. You can look forward to your visions, dreams, written words actually coming true as though it were a prophecy. Be mindful of the people you share your wisdom and insights with. I do see you aren't as happy with your current social circle or people you interact with. You trust very few and you sometimes feel very isolated. But you excellent foresight and there's always a silver lining in your circumstances.

Life will begin to change as the days get warmer and longer.

There's so much beauty in you, you don't even realize that you're a muse to many or are about to be. You might go into hiding only to rise from the ashes as something wild and free. The transformation that you seek is ongoing and something you know is inevitable. Celebrate it when time comes or start from today itself.

Timings: Coming 12 days, summer season (July and August is standing out for some of you as well)

[blackmoonoracle]

PICK A CARD - THE PATH AHEAD

PILE ONE

I feel like a lot is being hidden from pile one honestly, like- there are a LOT of blessings coming to you guys. One big blessing may be that you will be entering into some sort of partnership. Likely a business ordeal that is really going to help your reputation. I'm talking a lot of recognition, maybe even being given access to certain resources that are rather hard to ascertain for most people. This partnership could be with a fire sign woman, or some sort of witch. Or YOU could be a fire sign woman or a witch. I'm seeing where something you've been working on for a very long time is going to start paying off. For some it could be a skill, people could be giving you recognition for how thorough you are. It's possible that some people are going to be confused by your success? You could've been struggling with stagnancy for quite some time, and then it's like out of the blue suddenly everything is just paying off all at once. It's like people saw the work you were putting in, and they just sort of figured it was all for nothing maybe? Good on you for not letting the way people talked, viewed, or projected onto you keep you from going after your desires. You may be isolating yourself from family due to some kind of trauma, or perhaps that has already recently happened. It seems like you're already a bit of a loner, or hard for others to read? So this could be you abandoning a family dynamic, or refusing to participate in some sort of cycle any longer for the sake of benefiting an abuser or keeping the peace & happiness of others. You're learning how to prioritize yourself. You are releasing mental and emotional blockages in love, that have kept you from having emotional peace. Learning a new skill, and learning how to move in silence. I feel like you will be taking on a new endeavour and you are not going to be telling ANYONE about this. Keep your passion, don't forget who you are, and if people try to cause drama or fight with you or bring up past grudges don't even put energy into engaging with them. State your piece if need be and keep it moving, these people are only seeking access to your energy because they delude themselves out of admitting their regrets. Trust that the right doors will be opened for you, keep things to yourself for the time being and trust your friends. They're in your corner, they're NOT trying to hurt you. If this pile resonated, and you'd like to book a personal reading based on this particular topic you can message me and tell me your pile number for a 45$ in depth reading on this topic.

PILE TWO A LOT of pentacles came out for this pile, so more than likely Taurus, capricorn, Virgo, and 10th, 6th, and 2nd house energy are present here. I feel like a lot of you are rather self centered at times, there's nothing wrong with knowing when to prioritize yourself, but I do feel like there is a lesson coming up regarding your reputation and your tendency to hoard resources of some kind? It feels like you can be rather argumentative at times, or that alternatively you have a lot of internal conflict regarding your reputation and what success means to you. Even if you are not hoarding a resource of some kind, the common theme here is stubbornness. I see you WANT to be in this King of Pentacles energy, feeling like you have financial security AND luxurious amounts of spending money. Yet, I also feel like sometimes you get caught up in money and materialism. There is more to life than money, and with the 2 of cups on the bottom of the deck this could actually be about romance. The lovers was beneath it. I feel like you are needing to tap in more with your feminine side, maybe spending more time nurturing your ideas and desires. Learning how to back up what you want to create, there is a need for you to develop your space of comfort more. Give yourself more peace, and connect with those you love more frequently. Basically, from what I can tell spirit is asking you to take control and make some changes in the way you are engaging with your loved ones. Be more present, and stop projecting unrealistic expectations onto yourself and others. It can make you pretty crabby at times from what I can tell, and it puts you in a position to where you can be a bit greedy- or just stubborn in general about what you think should be expected from others. Be more accountable for the role you play in your misery & learn to let go of what YOU think is best. The universe is trying to show you an easier path, but you are scared of letting go of what you've created. Things move in seasons. Relax, and let shit happen, it doesn't always need to be to a T. Some of you also need to express your thoughts and feelings more frequently. My throat feels tight, and weird, and like blocked? So definitely work on your communication as well. Keep going, and know that you are in control of your path. If any of you are into energy cleansing, do that more frequently. Sleep more often, stop letting people get to you, or when you fall or fail, just shake it off. Don't let it control or affect you too deeply. sometimes it just is what it is. Lastly, pay attention to signs in the form of butterflies, and listen to more music. Dance, get creative, paint, host a kickback. Do SOMETHING to get your creative juices flowing. If this pile resonated, and you'd like to book a personal reading based on this particular topic you can message me and tell me your pile number for a 45$ in depth reading on this topic.

PILE THREE

I feel like this pile has gone through a lot of trials and tribulations recently, I'm picking up on either a water sign woman or maternal energy doing a lot of manipulative stuff. It feels to me like there is someone in your life that is using their emotions to align you with their desired outcomes. It feels like you are very much in your own idea of what life should be and how you can develop that for yourself. I see where you may have a creative endeavor that you really want to pay off. You may stress and have frequent anxiety about fulfilling this desire due to this energy and the way it engages with you. You're being asked to keep your goals and ideas in mind. By choosing yourself and your truest desires over what this person has decided is best for you you will find true healing and self expression. I feel that this individual has very black & white thinking and a position of authority somehow. Seeing as the Justice card came out. There may be an influence coming in from a passionate, witchy, or fire sign woman who is teaching you some form of manifestation or spell work possibly? This could also be you tapping into your witchy side. I just keep hearing witchy woman. Your outlook on life is being shifted significantly in the coming future in order for your path to your desires to unfold properly. You may be forced to leave things behind, you may have to cut your losses regarding financial support from a family member of some kind and take things into your own hands. I'm seeing where you will be forced to let go of some sort of comfort zone of some kind. Because it is actively blocking you from achieving your goals. It's being shown here where your desires and your current circumstances quite literally cannot develop together. Like it's impossible. You need to learn that sometimes, especially if this is about leaving the house and moving to be on your own- that you have to be willing to take risks. Things are not meant to always be easy, but you are a strong and willing soul who can accomplish whatever your heart desires. Find a new outlook, and really ask yourself if your desires are so unattainable. If this pile resonated, and you'd like to book a personal reading based on this particular topic you can message me and tell me your pile number for a 45$ in depth reading on this topic.

[merakiui]

PLEASE. please. if you would be so kind to give us some more stalker ex scara... the first time I saw it it just changed my brain chemistry, and I desperately need more </3

>:D thinking a lot about stalker ex Scara, but you get really drunk and he's the only one left to look after you......

(cw: yandere, nsfw, non-con, alcohol/intoxication, toxic ex scara, modern college au, connected to the previous stalker ex scara concept)

Just,,, the fact that he's been so good and sweet ever since he casually slid himself into your friend group and you're not sure if you can trust him, yet here you are being completely, utterly, stupidly vulnerable in front of your very unstable ex. orz

Kuni's not one for parties; in fact, he'd much rather spend his precious time doing quiet, comfortable things with you (cuddling is so much healthier than drinking, after all! <3). Unfortunately, you allow your foolish friends to talk you into attending these brain-rotting parties so you can get drunk off your ass, and he can't let you attend them by yourself because there are too many risks. If you got too comfortable with Venti or Kazuha or even Tighnari while drunk, Kuni would never forgive you. >:( he's worked too hard cultivating this friendly image for himself, and he isn't going to let you or anyone else ruin it.

But right now everyone else is too inebriated to do much of anything, and he hasn't touched the drinks ever since he arrived, instead choosing to anchor himself to some forgotten corner of the room. He sulks and broods in silence, a scowl plastered to his face. He's just barely tolerating it for your sake. It's because he loves you that he's doing any of this. Soon you won't even need any of these troublesome friends. Soon you'll just have him, and he's all you really need. It was like that when you were growing up, after all. Even though, as painful as it is, you don't seem so codependent, so swept up in romance... You're so independent now, no longer the shy, fearful thing from the final few months of your relationship with him. He'd be impressed if he wasn't trying so hard to isolate you from each of your friends. It's a challenge when he's trying to tiptoe around Heizou's sharp, witty perception or Venti's proclivity for knowing everything about everyone despite no one knowing much about him.

But he endures. He's gone years without you; this is nothing.

If you were smarter, you'd know not to trust a word he says. That kind, soft smile he's perfected for this act is not to be believed, especially not when he's using it to assure your friends that he'll bring you home safe and sound. Heizou has his doubts because it's late and you can hardly walk a straight line, but he's tipsy just like the others and it's hard to deliberate like this. Besides, when has Kuni ever let the group down? :)

He takes you back to his dorm instead because Albedo's not home and he has the entire room to himself. While you meander clumsily over to his bed, kicking your shoes off and shucking your jacket in the process, he watches. You have no idea how much he depends on you, how much he admires you, so much so that it surpasses love and lust entirely. Without you, he's nothing. Or that's what he thinks because for the majority of his life he's felt empty and sub-human and so alone. But now you're here, and you can fill those empty spaces in his heart and give him a reason to keep living.

You don't seem particularly fazed when the bed dips under his weight. Rather, you blink sleepily up at him when he leans over you, gingerly reaching to help you out of your sweater. You're too drunk to protest or struggle, and you feel so dizzy every time you open your eyes. It's difficult to remain fully conscious when sleep is tugging at your body, pulling you under. You don't even realize he's fit his mouth on yours until his tongue is pushing past your lips. You manage to place your hands against his chest, intending to push him away, but you're so exhausted and tired. They fall to your sides, useless.

Kuni sits up and smiles at you. He says something about you being dumb and cute... or something about how your friends are fools. You don't really catch all of his obsessive murmurings when your attention is waning. Clothes are torn off; he kisses you a lot. You're not sure if you're reciprocating, but it certainly sounds that way when you're whining beneath him, arching against sodden sheets, your breaths coming in pants and huffs each time he ruts into you.

He doesn't have to worry about anything. Right now, it's just you and him in a corner of the world, locked away from everyone who might try to take you away from him. It's not like you'll remember much come morning. You don't need to anyway. It's better if you're lost and bewildered. That way he'll be able to craft a story to suit his fancy. You'll believe it. You'll have no choice, and Kuni knows how to tell very believable tales.

[zlebooks]

𓂃 alhaitham + no words to describe .

for a haravatat graduate, alhaitham sure knows a lot of words. but when it comes to you, it’s only silence that he can provide for comfort.

alhaitham, a scholar who has mastered over 40 languages, classifies words into two categories: those that defy translation and those that cannot be expressed in any other form. to him, whichever you might be, will always be someone that he will earnestly try to decipher.

that goes for days when you can’t help but wish to stay quiet on your own, with you pulling away from the group as you’d rather drown in your own thoughts. alhaitham appears right beside you moments later, staring off at a distance with no words leaving his mouth. the scribe provides comfort with no words, making the silence a little bit bearable along with the crickets in the dark night.

kaveh tells him often that he has an emotional quotient of rock. how he lacks empathy and how at times he fails to connect with people. alhaitham knows that there’s some merit behind those words hurled at him, but as he stares at your unmoving form; face riddled with sadness and eyes moist, alhaitham wishes he can provide more comfort than his silent company.

there are also days when you take your isolation to a different level. these days are reserved when all your feelings have filled your insides to the brim, waiting to explode. alhaitham, the last person you expected to lecture you on the matters of the heart, has told you once before that it’s no use in bottling your feelings up— it does nothing for you and for the people around you— but just like the stubbornness of a rock, you never heeded his words seriously. during these times, he’d be there outside your door. he’s not hovering; he never hovers. he’s there to wait, just in case you decide to come out and seek his silent comfort. you have always thought that he’ll eventually grow tired of this setup, with him always waiting around and you taking longer to come out each time. but similar to knowledge, always there and always true, alhaitham remains outside your door, every single time.

it seems like it was one of those nights when you have yet again bottled up your feelings against alhaitham’s advice. the moon lights up the sky, its light going through the cracks of your blinds. a familiar ache settles inside your chest. only this time, the weight feels heavier, like the unspoken words and pent-up feelings are tugging the edges of your heart harder. the air around turns difficult to breathe in, like everything holding you down materialised became the very dust you had to breathe in.

outside, alhaitham is waiting like he always has, the gentle hum of the night accompanying him.

tonight, something shifts within you. your feet take you to your door, your hand trembling as you reach for the handle. as you twist the door open, familiar teal eyes meet yours and flickers in surprise.

people around you would always talk about how the scribe was expressionless. if no one knew better, one would think he’s some sort of smart machinery, created by the brilliant mind of a builder. but as merely metres separate the two of you, you notice the slightest movement in his eyebrows, the small tilt of his lip, expressing concern. he makes no move to enter your room, waiting for you to utter words. and for the first time, you step out. not to flee, but to confront.

“alhaitham,” you start and words like water break free from the dam you were holding in. you talk about your fears, your worries, the dread that consumes you from within. and alhaitham listens, unmoving, he doesn’t care when you stumble over your words because he knows all of it were genuine.

when you finish, alhaitham remains. your words dried up and worries aired out but alhaitham remains. and the scribe realises yet another thing in your presence; he who has mastered over 40 languages learns another one that is beyond words to connect with you.

with the moon unwaning and casting a soft glow on the both of you, alhaitham finds the courage to hold you in his arms. his touch that is so tender, so warm, so delicate, cherishes you in your entirety, with or without your fears.

for the first time that night, alhaitham opens his mouth to speak, “sometimes,” he starts with so much softness in his voice, “no word from any language is needed to comfort and to understand.” he looks you in the eyes and pauses for a moment, “sometimes, just being there is enough.”

and in his gentle embrace you remain thankful, and in your heart, a feeling with no amount of flowery words to describe blooms.

♥︎ please do not repost or translate without my permission . reblogs are heavily appreciated!

a/n: js a little writing practice and projecting my own feelings lawl

[bisexualiteaa]

A Night Beneath the Stars

Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem Reader (SMUT MDNI)

CW: established friendship, younger Logan, cursing, reader has telepathic powers, mutual pining, mentions of alcohol, mentions of insomnia, reader and Logan bond over not being able to sleep, fingering, oral (f receiving) unprotected P in V, creampie, p0rn w/o plot, pet names, praise kink, dumbification, Logan is down bad but so is reader, possible spelling/grammar errors, fluffy ending

You were newer to the mansion, having only just been brought to Xavier’s school for gifted youngsters about a year or so ago. You remembered when you had first arrived, how nervous you were to meet the professor, how intimidating of an experience it was in meeting other mutants in general. You had spent so long keeping your mutation a secret from others, the shame of being different than normal people was still something that was going on even as times were changing. People still seemed to believe that anyone with a mutation was some kind of monster. You knew you shouldn’t have to worry about that here at the mansion, not when everyone around was a mutant, yet you couldn’t help but be nervous. Everyone did their best to make you feel welcome, knowing it was a bit difficult at first considering that you were an adult rather than a new student joining. However that didn’t mean you weren’t welcomed with open arms, and assurance that you were safe and accepted here. That you were amongst friends now who understood you.

You were often invited to tag along with Ororo, Jean, Scott and Logan whenever they would go out in town. In the hopes, or rather Ororo’s hope, to help you open up and feel a little more at home at the mansion rather than isolated away in unfamiliar territory. At first you didn’t take them up on it, preferring to stay behind and get accustomed to life at the mansion, but they never failed to extend the invite each time, waiting for the day you would finally peak from your shell and tag along. When you first started going with, you would just hang out with the girls. Enjoying the time drinking, gossiping, talking about each other’s love lives, and what led you all to being at the mansion. However, over time you and Logan had slowly begun to kindle something of a friendship with one another. The connection you had with him was almost magnetic with the way you were drawn to him. You didn’t know how else to explain it really. Like two kindred spirits once lost and now reunited, everything came effortlessly between you. You would happen across him late at night in the kitchen, finding him nursing a beer or smoking a cigar as you would sit next to him and enjoy a glass of whatever you could get your hands on. Sometimes you both would just sit there in comfortable silence, providing moral support to each other by just being there. You didn’t need to speak to know when one of you was upset, or to know what he needed, you just understood somehow. Other times, he would find you out in the gardens, seeming to be in your own little world as you stared up at the night sky. When you were outside you were often meditating, trying to take in the peaceful surroundings to help calm you enough to go to sleep. Slowly, your late nights spent trying to unwind would cross paths more and more, leading you both to meet up just about every night. Logan would begin to join you as you would sit outside and gaze upon the stars with you, just as you would join him in the kitchen with a drink when he was there.

Your friendship was always something of an enigma to the others, where you were soft and kind, Logan was rough and jaded. They would have never guessed that of all people, you would have found comfort in someone as gruff as him. Being known for the way his temper was, and how he normally kept to himself, it was shocking to the others anytime they would see him laughing with you, or see a soft smile stretched to his lips. Ororo would often tease you for it, saying you managed to soften him up and claiming that she’s never seen him so happy than when he’s with you. It would often leave a blush rising to your cheeks when Scott or Jean would tease you about him, asking if you two had finally gotten together yet. Despite all of the teasing, they were happy for you both. It was obvious he was who you needed to feel comfortable here at the mansion finally, and you were who he needed to help him soften up a little. They truly would have never guessed that he would open up to anyone, much less the near polar opposite of himself. Yet you understood each other in ways the others didn’t. Your late night talks, spent trying to unwind for bed had turned into a ritual of sorts, leaving you both unable to sleep without talking to the other, and over that time your bond had only grown stronger.

Many people figured that the friendship kindled between you and Logan would turn into something more. What with the fleeting glances shared between you, and the way his hand would often rest against the small of your back when he was next to you. There was a palpable tension that resided between you, one you prayed would finally lead you two to being more than just friends. Others bet that what you had was nothing more than a ticking time bomb waiting to explode. That if you were to date the Wolverine, you would end up heartbroken by his whirlwind personality. You tried not to pay attention to those comments, no matter how unkind they were. You knew that he could be a lot sometimes, and that to most he wasn’t exactly the kindest man on earth, but you knew better than to think he would treat your heart with such malice. You trusted that if you were to explore that option, and he didn’t want you in that way, he would tell you. You loved the way he always stood by you when you were in a room together, giving an aura that he was almost your protector of sorts. It left butterflies in your stomach when his hand would come to the small of your back as a silent sign that he was there when you were upset, or when his hand would clasp yours gently to lead you somewhere more isolated and private to help you calm down. Anywhere you were, Logan wasn’t very far behind, and vice versa, and while some might have thought it was weird, you counted it as your biggest blessing. The others would often find you two sitting and watching movies together, or out on missions together. The professor delighted in the way you seemed to benefit each other and balance each other so well. You were an effective team, and not only that, you were each other’s comfort. He would cook for you, you would bake for him, you would enjoy drinks and conversation together and every night, you both would find yourselves at each other’s side until sleep would finally call your names. Your friendship took a matter of months, nearly an entire year to fully kindle to a point of trust and comfortability, but one night was all it took to finally change the dynamic between you from platonic to something a bit more romantic.

The evening started the same as all of your evenings together went. You were sat in the gardens, enraptured by the stars that freckled the night sky, observing the different constellations and the phase the moon was in for the night. It was a beautiful summer night, just warm enough to be able to be outside in your night dress, but with a calm, cool breeze that kept it from being too hot to withstand. It was perfect. “Can’t sleep, bub?” A familiar, slightly gruff, voice asked you pulling you from your thoughts. The nickname gave away exactly who it was, only one person ever called you that, meaning Logan was finally here to join you. You turned his way as he spoke, and offered him a soft yet excited smile as he leaned against the doorway, seeming to watch you from afar. His eyes drank in the sight of you, your hair slightly tousled from the wind, the moon’s rays casting an almost ethereal glow upon you in your night gown. You looked as if you were right where you belonged, the night time your golden hour. Your smile brought a warmth to his heart that he thought had long since frozen over, its brightness enough to lighten his every sour mood and calm him even after the toughest of days. He looked upon you like an art student seeing their favorite work of art in person for the first time. He was completely enraptured by you. In awe of your beauty, wondering what it is that he could have ever done to be so lucky to call you a friend. Although he was secretly wishing that you would consider more than that someday with him, but those thoughts were for another time. He was here with you now, and he wanted to cherish that. “I never can without our nightly meet ups” you admitted, your tone gentle yet spoken with conviction as your gaze fixed upon him. He adored that he was your solace, happy that he could be there for you in the same ways you were for him. His lopsided grin always sent a giddy flutter to your stomach and made your heart skip. For someone who was known for being hard to put up with and cold to almost anyone he came across, you loved that you were his one exception. The sunshine to his storm clouds as the others would often describe. There was an undeniable chemistry between you that made your bond so strong. “Heard you would be able to see Jupiter and Saturn tonight while looking at the moon. Didn’t want to miss the chance, only happens once every twenty years” you added, patting the ground next to you in invitation for him to sit with you. “Come join me?” You asked, and who was he to ever deny you? He made his way over to you, lit cigar in hand as he sat down with you, following your eyes as you looked up into the night sky. “How can you even see it?” He asked between puffs of his cigar, making you chuckle as you pointed up at the sky. “See those two dots behind the moon? They’re pretty small, but that’s what you’re looking for” you answered, making him hum with intrigue in reply before turning to look at you. He swore he could see the reflection of the stars as he cast his gaze upon you, watching them twinkle in your eyes as you spoke. The way you looked at him with the same wonder and regard as the night sky every night left him so utterly weak in a way he hadn’t felt in a very long time. He could sit there and listen to you talk about astronomy for hours and be perfectly content, happy to hear the sounds of your sweet voice.

“See that over there? There’s the Little Dipper, and right over there is Orion’s Belt” you said, pointing to each constellation, teaching him the names, locations and small little facts about it all that you knew. What you hadn’t noticed was the more you spoke, the closer you two seemed to move together. It was as if you were being magnetically pulled to one another without realizing it. “The Greeks use to believe that when their greatest heroes died, their spirit would pass on and the gods would place their likeness in the stars so that their sacrifices would never be forgotten” you stated, making him smile softly as he listened to you. Stuff like this from anyone else would normally bore him, but from you? He could listen to you ramble on and never get tired of it. It made his night talking to you away from others so you could open up and just be yourselves. “You believe it?” He asked, genuinely curious of your input, making you chuckle. “I’m not sure. I’d like to. I like to think that my mom is up there somewhere” you answered, making him hum as you both looked to one another, his sympathetic gaze turning into an arm wrapped around you, pulling you to him. “I’m sure she is, bub. ’m sure she’s damn proud of you too” he said comfortingly, making you smile up at him appreciatively for his kind words. He wasn’t always good at consoling others, but for you, he would always do anything he could to see that gorgeous smile stretch to your lips. “I hope so. I hope when the time comes some day, that maybe I’ll join her up there” you replied before a comfortable silence fell upon you, listening to the crickets chirp and the wind whistle softly through the trees. “Save a spot for me?” He asked, making you smile warmly. “Of course, but not before I’d haunt you for a while. Gotta make sure you know I’m still around” you replied, making him chuckle. “Wouldn’t want it any other way, bub” he answered, leaning his head against yours as you both gazed upon the stars.

“Almost forgot. I got something for you” he spoke up after a few beats of silence, placing the cigar between his lips as he rustled something from his pocket. “I remember you saying somethin’ about wanting whatever those rocks are you always talk about” he said, making you giggle in response. “You mean crystals?” You asked, looking up at him from where you were resting your head against his shoulder. “Saw one in a store today, thought you might like it” he said before dangling a dainty necklace in his hand. “Aww Logan, you didn’t have to do that! Now I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything” you replied, making him chuckle. “How were you supposed to know? It’s a surprise for a reason” he responded as you looked at it. It was a small piece of rose quartz shaped into an obelisk, resting on a thin chain. You smiled excitedly as you inspected it, not only was it a crystal but it was rose quartz, the crystal that symbolized healing, compassion and eternal love. You weren’t sure if perhaps he picked it deliberately for its capabilities, or if it was chosen for you at random, but you almost didn’t want to believe that it was a coincidence. “Would you help me put it on?” You asked him, looking up at him with a smile so bright that he swore the sun couldn’t even compare. “Course, turn around and I’ll help ya” he replied, happy to see you liked it as much as he hoped you would. You turned your back towards him, sweeping your hair to the side to keep it off of your neck before feeling his fingers ghost along your soft skin. You shivered, feeling goose-flesh rise along your arms as he put the chain around you. You giggled as he struggled with the comically tiny clasp in his large fingers, hearing him mutter a curse every now and then under his breath as it would slip from him, but eventually he managed to get it clasped for you. “Now I’ve got to get you something” you insisted, making him chuckle as he watched you readjust your hair and look at the necklace with wonder. You were just so damn precious in his eyes. “Don’t worry about it bub, really. I wanted to” was all he replied with, assuring you that you were in no debt from his kind gesture as you turned back to face him. “How’s it look?” You asked making him smile as he took you in, admiring you for all of your beauty, not just the necklace. “Beautiful” he responded meaningfully, but something in his eyes and in his tone told you that he wasn’t just talking about the necklace. You gave a giggle in response, blushing at the compliment.

“You like it?” He asked and you were quick to pull him into a tight hug, making him smile as he took that as a yes. He hugged you back warmly, his head resting slightly on the top of yours since you were shorter than he is. Your hair smelled so nice, the signature scent of your shampoo something he’d grown to love. He especially loved when your perfume would transfer to his clothes when you would hug him, catching even the slightest whiffs of it on occasion when you weren’t around kept him sane on even the worst of days. “I love it. Thank you Lo” you said appreciatively, your face buried into the crook between his neck and shoulder, enjoying the warmth of his body against your own and the feel of his arms around you. You both pulled apart slightly after a few moments, a palpable tension now hanging thick within the summer’s night air. You pulled away just far enough to still be close enough in his hold, but not completely separated. Your faces now sat so close together that you could feel the ghost of his breath against your lips, sending a pulse of excitement through you. He smelled of tobacco, smoke, pine and that distinct scent of him that made you feel at ease. Safe. When you were with him, it was as if all time had stopped, as if all others ceased to exist. In this moment, it was just you and Logan.

His fingers brushed a small section of your hair that fell into your face back behind your ear, allowing his rough palm to rest against your cheek as you gazed into his eyes. You smiled at him as the distance between you dwindled, feeling that almost magnetic pull to one another once more. Your eyes fluttered to his lips before looking back into his beautiful brown eyes, wondering if this would finally be the moment. “Don’t look at me like that, bub” he said playfully, a smile stretching to his lips and making you giggle. “Like what?” You asked teasingly, making him give you that lopsided grin you loved so much. “Like you wanna kiss me” he answered, making you smile even wider with excitement and it made him melt. No one had ever looked at him with such pure love in their eyes until he met you. Attraction; sure. Love? This was a first, and he could see just how strongly you felt for him in that gaze, wishing he would have taken his shot sooner. “Maybe I do want to kiss you” you answered, making him chuckle. “Oh do you?” He responded playfully, making you shake your head. “Yeah, maybe I do” you replied, butterflies fluttering in your stomach with each brave word you could utter. “What’s the matter? Scared you’ll like it too much?” You asked confidently, making him laugh at your cocky tone that reminded him a lot of himself. He was rubbing off on you and fuck if it wasn’t cute. “Me? Scared? Don’t kid yourself bub” he replied, making you laugh. “Then kiss me already” you challenged telepathically, and he certainly did not need to be told twice.

You felt him pull you closer, allowing there to be a moment of anticipation that would keep you on your toes before his lips finally met your own. It was a moment so electric, you swore he must have been able to hear the way your heart was pounding in excitement. You smiled into it, your hand coming to rest on his chest to keep him close to you, feeling as his heart started racing against his sternum beneath your palm. You hummed contentedly into it, feeling him release a shaky breath as his free hand rested against your hip, squeezing it gently to remind him that this was really happening. You wanted him just like he wanted you. It was almost unreal. “Are you really sure I’m who you want?” He asked, making you rest your hand on his cheek, thumb rubbing soft circles into his skin. “I’ve never been more sure of anything” you replied confidently before kissing him once more, allowing your tongue to drag against his bottom lip, asking his permission to allow you to let it deepen. He gave in with a groan, allowing you your chance to slip your tongue in and explore at his pace. You didn’t want to move too fast and scare him off, but you also didn’t want to move too slow and bore him. You moaned softly into his mouth as his hands caressed your curves, feeling your warm skin beneath your soft night dress. The friction of his hands against you, mixed with his intoxicating kisses sent fire coursing through your veins.

You smiled playfully into your kiss as an idea came to you. Your arms looped around Logan’s neck, pulling him down with you as you allowed yourself to fall backwards into the soft grass. You giggled as he fell on top of you, holding himself up above you before looking down upon you with a grin and a wild look in his eyes. The scent of your arousal filled his senses, clinging to you like the sweetest perfume. “Don’t look at me like that” you joked, using his own words against him, making him chuckle. “Like what?” He teased, grinning down at you with a hungry look in his gaze. He looked as if he might eat you alive. It was thrilling. “Like you’re going to ravage me” you answered, your hands cascading along his broad chest, making him groan at your gentle touch. “Why? Afraid you’ll like it too much?” He asked in that ever familiar cocky tone, making you giggle as he leaned down, burying his face in the crook of your neck, placing sweet kisses along your throat as he inhaled your scent. You moaned softly before biting your lip with excitement, your hands moving to card through his hair in appreciation. “Logan…” you breathed, moaning quietly each time his lips would brush against one of your more sensitive spots. “Not afraid, wanna see what I’ve been missing out on” you spoke telepathically once more, making him rise his head from your neck to look at you. He looked almost surprised to hear what you’d said, like he needed to see you to make certain he heard you correctly. “What did you-“ “you heard me” you replied boldly, a soft grin on your lips as you waited for his response, allowing him a way out should he not want this to go where it was leading. Yet you spoke the words he’d been dying to hear for months now. “Fuck…c’mere” he replied, pulling you into a kiss, making you giggle excitedly at his response. “You know all the ways to get me so fuckin’ worked up” he spoke into it, trailing one of his hands up your thighs as yours carded through his hair again. You moaned softly once more as his fingers found your clit beneath the wet spot forming in your panties, rubbing small circles against you. He took the opportunity to let his tongue explore your mouth, tangling with your own as he slipped his hand beneath the waistband and into your underwear. You were intoxicating. The scent of your arousal, mixed with how wet you were for him and the sounds of your sweet sighs and moans pulled a growl from his throat. The guttural sound sent a shudder through you, making him chuckle as he felt your clit throb beneath the pad of one of his rough fingers. “Pretty girl, you like getting me all worked up, huh?” He asked, rubbing slow, methodical circles into your clit, making you squirm beneath him from pleasure. “Yes…” was all you could get out, making him groan as you rolled your hips against his hand. “Good girl” he said, peppering your neck with kisses again as he worked you up, listening to you whine and mewl for him to give you more.

“Gotta get you nice and ready sweetheart, be good for me and take it, yeah?” He asked, pulling away only momentarily to unbutton the top of your gown, exposing your bare chest to the night air. “Such a pretty little thing” he complimented, his fingers finding their way back to your core as his kisses began to trail down to your chest. You moaned in delight as he wrapped his lips around one of your pert, sensitive nipples, sucking it as his finger teased your waiting hole. He moaned at the taste of your skin, the way you were so ready for his finger to slip inside of you. “So tight for me” he said, working the tip of his finger in and out slowly before pressing further inside of your heat, leaving you to lull your head back at all the stimulation. “Just like that princess, take my fingers, open up for me” he cooed, talking you through it sweetly as he worked you open. You moaned as his finger curled against that gummy spot inside of you, feeling as his mouth latched to your other breast to pay it equal attention. Your hands in his hair yanked the raven strands on occasion, making him groan against you as he stretched you with his fingers. “Logan…” you moaned, making him grin up at you. “Feel good, bub?” He asked, making you whine as you shook your head yes. “Let me get a taste, hmm? Bet she tastes as sweet as the rest of you” he said, sliding down your body before scrunching your dress up your hips a little, exposing your panty-clad cunt to him. He pressed a soft kiss to your core through the damp fabric, making you moan and buck your hips at the feeling. He gave a chuckle at your eager response and sensitivity. “Let’s get these off of you” he said before sliding your underwear from you, slipping them into his pocket for safe keeping. “So pretty for me” he complimented once more before dipping down between your legs, his lips pressing a soft kiss to your clit before his fingers found their way back inside of you.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as he worked you with his tongue and fingers, your nails scratching his scalp in appreciation for the bliss he was granting you. “Oh my god…Logan!” You moaned, making him groan into you. The sound of his name on your tongue was music to his ears. You’d never felt so good. The way his hot muscle worked circles into your bud, paired with the way his fingers worked in and out of you, you were floating on cloud nine. “Shh, gotta stay quiet baby. Don’t want to get caught now, do you?” He asked, making you whine and bite your lip as you tried your best to keep your voice down, but it was hard. It just felt so good, you couldn’t help it. You felt his fingers curl against that spot within you again, his tongue fluttering in just the perfect rhythm that had the knot in your belly growing taut. “Logan, I…” you tried your best to warn of your impending orgasm through your moans and pants. “Gonna cum for me? C’mon, want you to cum on my fingers doll” he said, feeling you squeeze around his fingers, keeping his pace exactly where it was to get you there. Before you knew it, you were toppling over the edge, gasping as your back arched and your cunt tightened around his fingers. Your eyes rolled back, your mouth opened wide in an O shape as your release washed over you like a tidal wave. “There we go, good girl” he said, helping you ride out your orgasm before you grew too sensitive.

He sat on his knees before you, watching your chest rise and fall with each heaving breath you took to try and come back to earth. You smiled sweetly at him, an almost drunken look on your face as he drank in the sight of you in your afterglow. “So fuckin’ beautiful” he complimented, making you give an appreciative hum in response, seeing the effects you had on him as your eyes raked his body with hunger. He needed you, needed to mark you as his, have his scent linger off of you so the others knew exactly who you belonged to. “For the love of everything, please take your clothes off” you said with a grin, making him laugh. “Leave you waitin’ too long, sweetheart?” He asked with a cocky smirk, making you grin wider as he came back up over top of you. “Yes!” You said through giggles as you watched him strip himself of his white tank top, leaving you absolutely enamored at his build. You’d seen him without a shirt on before, after all you both would spar together fairly often, and you’d helped patch him up after missions when his healing hadn’t quite caught up yet. But in this sense, this was entirely different. Here, he was bared for your eyes only. You squealed in surprise as he rolled you both to where you were on top of him now, your shared joyful laughter melding together into the most perfect moment. As you held yourself up over him, your hips resting against his, you couldn’t help but gaze into his eyes. You fit against him perfectly. Like two pieces of a puzzle, he was who you needed to finish the big picture. His hand came up to gently sweep your hair from your face and tuck it behind your ear once more so he could see your face. His hand then rested on your cheek, rubbing comforting circles along your skin. “I love you, Logan” you admitted, the words escaping you before you could even have the chance to hold them back. Your heart raced anxiously in your chest as you waited for his response. Waiting to see if he would turn you away, or tell you this was nothing more than a fleeting moment. But that moment never came. Instead, you felt his lips press to yours, pulling you back down and against him as his other hand looped around you. He wanted this. He wanted you. He chose you. “Fuck I’ve been dying to hear that. I love you too” he replied as he pulled away for air, pressing his forehead against yours, watching you smile happily at his response. “then what are you waiting for?” you asked telepathically, making him chuckle as you looked at him. “For you to take my pants off and show me how much you want me” he replied, making you grin as you kissed him once more, just as intimately as before, only this time your hands began to fumble with the buckle of his belt.

Blindly you managed to get it undone, then unbutton and unzip his jeans as your tongue tangled with his. You caught his bottom lip between your teeth, pulling it gently before releasing it, earning a guttural growl from him in response. You giggled mischievously before grinding your hips against him through his boxers. “Think it’s funny to tease me, huh?” He asked, making you grin. “It’s a taste of your own medicine” you replied coyly as you continued to grind against him, littering his neck with kisses as your hands roamed his body. Your hands found their way beneath the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and allowing his cock to spring free. You watched as it bobbed and his tip slapped just above his navel, standing completely at attention all for you. “All for me? Hardly even done anything to you yet and you’re already so worked up” you teased, making him scoff in response. “Right. Because fucking my tongue and fingers is hardly doing anything to me” he quipped, making you giggle. “It is hardly anything in comparison to the real deal” you said telepathically, gliding your pussy along his cock, allowing him to slip between your folds and his head to bump your clit but not allowing him inside. He groaned at the feeling of your wetness gliding up and down his length, his fingers digging into your hips with how tightly he was gripping you. The stimulation of this alone was already enough to work him up but he needed more. He needed to be inside of you. “Don’t you want to find out?” You asked. “Fuckin’ tease” he grumbled, making you chuckle before you lined him up to your entrance.

You eased your way down onto him, your knees digging into the ground on either side of his hips as you worked to take him all the way inside of you. You hissed at the painful stretch, thankful that he worked you up as much as he did beforehand but still struggling. It took a few tries, but eventually you managed to fully sheath him inside of you. You moaned as you took a moment to allow yourself to acclimate to his size, feeling him throb within you as you kissed him sweetly. His one hand rested on your cheek as the other rested on your hip trying to help provide a soothing distraction to the pain. You tested a roll of your hips, moaning delightfully as the pain morphed into pleasure. “Logan..” you moaned as you began to set a steady pace, his hands at your hips helping you keep that rhythm. “Fuck, sweetheart” he groaned, watching your breasts move as you bounced on his cock. Your hands rest against his chest for leverage, listening to your shared moans and the sounds of skin slapping against skin fill the air around you. Your nails dug into his skin when his tip grazed your g-spot, leaving puffy red marks along his chest as you threw your head back. You heard an animalistic growl leave him in response, looking down to see a feral look in his eyes. “Do that again” he said, making you grin as you began to drag your nails all the way down his chest to his chiseled abs, hearing him groan in pleasure from the pain. “Fuck” he panted out as he thrust up into you. “Right there!” You whined, your eyes rolling back in bliss as he hit that spot repeatedly. “I’ve got you bub, gonna take good care of you” he replied, fucking into you at a faster pace that left you delirious. “Oh, Logan!!” You moaned, not caring if you were too loud now, not caring if you were to be caught, all that mattered to you right now was how good he felt inside of you.

You were lost in all the pleasure he was giving you, his name the only thing on your mind that was blanker than paper at this point. “Not a single thought behind those eyes right now is there, sweet thing?” He asked with a cocky grin, making you whimper at the way he made you so stupid on his cock. He loved it. “Feels s’ good” you babbled out the best you could, clear sentences now beyond you with the way his fingers began to circle your clit. He knew all the ways to get you to feel so unbelievably good, it was almost unreal, unfair even. “C’mon baby, cum on this cock. You can do that for me, can’t you? Wanna feel her squeeze me good and tight” he said, making you shake your head yes in response. “Yes! Yes, wanna cum s’ bad. Fuck!” You babbled almost incoherently, making him chuckle at how eager you were, listening to your moans rise in pitch and the way your walls squeezed him tight told him that you were close. All you needed was a little push and you would be sent over the edge. “Gonna fill you up good, what d’ya say? You want that? Want me to stuff you full so everyone knows who you belong to?” He asked, making you moan at the thought of him cumming inside of you, filling you up to the point it leaked out of you. “Yes!! Want it, want it so bad please!!” You replied, making him groan in response. Such a good, obedient little thing. “So close…Logan please” you moaned, grinding against him and meeting his thrusts for that extra little bit of friction to get you closer. “Cum for me, baby” he said, working your clit just how you needed to topple over the edge finally. Your back arched as a gasp left you, your eyes rolling back as you moaned with your release. He groaned as your cunt spasmed around him, coating him with your slick and pulling him closer to his own peak. He sat up to meet your lips with a feverish kiss. “Fuck, I love you. So fucking much” he said into it, tongue and teeth clashing with your own as he rutted up into you before releasing himself inside of you with a deep groan. You couldn’t help but moan into the kiss along with him, the feel of him throbbing inside of you as his seed painted your walls was quite a pleasurable sensation. You felt him ride out your orgasms as much as you could before you both became too sensitive.

You both pulled away for a moment to allow air to fill your burning, oxygen depraved lungs, looking into each other’s eyes as you shared in the afterglow. You smiled at him as you cupped his cheek, placing a tender loving kiss to his lips before resting your slightly sweaty forehead against his. You enjoyed the peacefully quiet moment together, the only sound being that of your collective breathing slowing to a normal tempo once more. “Want to come back to my room for the night?” He asked, making you chuckle. “I’d like that” you replied before kissing him softly again, feeling him stir within you making you gasp at the feeling. He laughed at your cute reaction. “How are you already-“ “Healing factor. Can go all night if you want” he replied with a smirk, making you blush as you hummed with interest into your kiss. “Don’t threaten me with a good time” You said before he pulled you off of him to situate himself back into his jeans and your nightgown for the trek back through the mansion. He scooped you up into his arms bridal style, making you giggle and squeal in surprise. “Hope you’re ready for a long night then” he said, making you grin. “Then take me there before I change my mind” you said with a grin, making him chuckle as he carried you to his room, closing the door behind him with his foot.

While it may have been a long night, it was certainly one you would never forget.

[bblovetarot]

{୨ꕤ୧} Love Advice from the Universe

ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ Pick a Pile ʚ ═══･୨ꕤ୧･═══ ɞ 

. ༄ . paid readings . ༄.

。°⚠︎°。follow your intuition when choosing a pile. if you're drawn to more than one pile, that's okay! you may have messages in more than one.

。°⚠︎°。tarot readings are not 100% accurate, and do not dictate your future. please keep in mind that you have free will. these readings are also general and aren't specific to one person, so please take what resonates and leave what doesn't! 

Pile 1

Pile 1, you might find yourself in a connection that isn't serving your highest good. You could have a tendency to diminish your own needs and struggle to assert yourself when you're not being treated as you deserve. Feeling stuck in this situation might stem from uncertainty about how to address it. It's not that you're unaware of your worth, but rather, you may struggle with expressing your needs and desires. Perhaps you're recognizing patterns in your life where you've prioritized others' needs over your own. You might harbor deep feelings for someone who tends to approach emotions more logically, which can trigger you at times. The universe urges you to find peace within this connection by taking the right actions. If someone is treating you unfairly, it's essential to speak up and not remain silent to avoid conflict. Old childhood wounds may resurface in this dynamic, offering an opportunity for healing and release. However, approaching conflicts in the same way as before may only exacerbate tensions. While disagreements are natural in relationships, it's crucial to address any controlling or unjust behavior. Commitment takes time, and navigating obstacles together is part of the journey. It's essential to understand that your partner may also carry their own childhood wounds and struggle to express care in ways that you're used to. However, this doesn't mean tolerating abuse, manipulation, or outright hurt. Your partner's display of care may differ from your own, but someone genuinely invested in the relationship will be willing to compromise and work through challenges with you. It's vital to communicate your needs and desires openly, even if it feels daunting. Releasing old patterns and behaviors may be intimidating, but it's ultimately for your growth and well-being, Pile 1. Trust that advocating for yourself and your happiness will lead to healthier connections and greater fulfillment.

Pile 2

Pile 2, it seems that many of you are currently single and grappling with feelings of self-doubt and a fear of rejection in your love life. There may be a pervasive belief within you that you are unworthy of love unless you go to great lengths to prove your worth, whether through overdressing, wearing makeup excessively, or overly emphasizing your independence. This struggle may be rooted in a mother wound that affects your perception of self. Despite being guided by the universe to look within and release these worries about your worth, you find it challenging to trust the signs and synchronicities around you. There's a fear of failure if you follow your intuition, which leaves you hesitant to take risks and open your heart. It's crucial to shift your focus from your head to your heart and body, allowing yourself to heal from past hurts without internal criticism. Recognize your inherent beauty and worthiness of love, protecting your heart without isolating yourself. Your intuition is a powerful guide, urging you not to ignore the feelings directing you towards growth and self-care. Consider the impact of your community on your self-perception and love life. Whether it's online groups, friends, or acquaintances, if their beliefs do not resonate with your truth, it may be time to distance yourself. Remember, any mistreatment from others does not diminish your self-worth; it reflects their character, not yours. Understand that your value is not contingent on how others treat you. Lastly, address any codependency issues that may be surfacing. Embrace self-love and nurture your inner worth, paving the way for healthier relationships in the future, Pile 2.

Pile 3

It seems like many of you in Pile 3 are navigating through the aftermath of heartbreak or challenging times in your love life. You're focusing on self-care, nurturing your emotions, and trying to uplift yourselves. Yet, despite your efforts, you might feel lost and isolated, uncertain of where to turn for help or guidance. There's a fear lingering among you, a fear of opening up again in love. You possess a deeply nurturing energy, making it difficult to detach, even when others don't reciprocate. People-pleasing tendencies might be holding you back, making it hard to assert your own wants and needs. The universe is urging you to keep moving forward, not allowing others' opinions to overshadow your desires. Seeking therapy or exploring ways to assert your boundaries could be immensely beneficial. There's a maternal energy present, suggesting that some of you may have experienced mother wounds or aspire to be a mother in the future. Despite your struggles, you hold wisdom within you, knowing what you deserve and what will bring you happiness. Seek guidance from those who embody the life you envision, rooted in healthy relationships and emotional maturity. Avoid getting trapped in overthinking and self-criticism; instead, focus on understanding your attachment styles and fostering healthier connections with those around you. Remember, you're not alone on this journey. Trust in your inner wisdom and seek support from sources that align with your values and goals.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

One of Those Days

poly!mikaelsons x reader | request

summary: between the constant fighting and city clamor, you're overstimulated from the minute you wake up. you try to isolate until you feel better, but sometimes, that only makes things worse. luckily, your loving vampire partners are always there for you.

tags: sensory issues, mental health, overstimulation, arguing, mild emotional hurt / comfort

word count: ~2.6k

a/n: requested by @asexualaromosafezone - i am SO SORRY this took me literal months to complete. a couple days ago, i suddenly remembered i never filled it and finished it asap. i hope you like it, and again, so many apologies!

Sometimes, you wake up, and can immediately tell it’ll be a hard day. The sun has barely risen, yet there’s already a million noises coming through your window. Chatters of people having their morning walks, car horns from those too impatient to let them cross, the distant clang of a dropped pot, and-

“REBEKAHHH!”

-Klaus, yelling for his sister. At seven in the morning. 

“What the bloody hell are you shouting for?! I’m right here!”

You sigh, glad that mystery solved quickly.

There’s probably a few more minutes until your alarm rings, so instead of getting up a little earlier, you opt to enjoy your last minutes of peace. Though you soon realize that’s impossible, given your circumstances. On top of the city sounds, there’s a bird right outside your window, and when you try to turn away from it, the tag on your blanket itches the inside of your thigh. 

“Ugh!” You toss the blanket off. 

Your alarm sounds not a second later. 

With a slap to your phone and then another to your forehead, you decide to just get ready for the day. Luckily, not much is planned. Marcel still has control over the city, and with you being human, your Mikaelson hosts don’t want you outside at all. 

See, you live with the family of original vampires. You used to be a Mystic Falls’ resident, but then after developing a close connection with the siblings, decided to move to New Orleans with them and get a fresh start. You were tired of the small town life, and while the big city can be overwhelming at times, you’ll never get sick of the culture it has to offer. Besides, living with the most powerful family makes you happier than you ever believed you could be. 

As much as you love them, though, they can be a pain. Like when Klaus can’t find his sister, but forgets a whisper would summon her just as effectively. Instead, he has to wake up the whole quarter, and inconvenience you with a headache. When you reach the dining room that day, you slump your head on the table. 

“Everything alright, darling?” Kol’s voice floats over your head, making you aware of his presence. 

“Tired.”

“Is your bed comfortable enough? Do you need more blankets?”

You haven’t been in the city long, and his consideration warms your heart. 

“Oh, I’m okay. I’m very comfy. Just haven’t gotten used to the city yet.”

“Ah, I understand.”

His attention drifts to his sister. You busy yourself with a plate of food and ignore how tired you feel. When Elijah sits beside you, you offer a smile, but don’t say anything. The man, polite as ever, does the same. Though while two of the siblings are quiet, the other two aren’t. Klaus and Rebekah are still on the same topic from earlier. They bounce off each other quickly, childish banter turning into an argument.

You try to eat in peace and ignore them, but it’s difficult. And it doesn’t help that you’ve been feeling down lately, anyway. It’s rather unexplainable, the way you feel. Some days you’d rather stay in bed all day than face the world. Your whole body could be begging for you to get up and get things done, but you just can’t. No matter how hard you fight your own mind, sometimes there’s no winning the raging war. 

To make matters worse, you’re always hypersensitive when you find yourself in these low moods. Every little thing is overstimulating and there’s no pause button. This morning, you didn’t even get a chance to wake up before the sounds started. (Thanks, Klaus.) You roll your eyes in your head, annoyed. 

“Hey.” A poke to your shoulder startles you, making you jump. “You okay?” 

“Ooh, you caught me off guard.”

“Sorry,” Kol smiles, “you in deep thought, or rolling your eyes at Klaus’ statement?”

“Uh…” You bite your lip. You were rolling your eyes about Klaus, but missed whatever statement it was that he just made. “What did he say?”

“That he was on his way to have a little chat with Marcel. That will go swimmingly.”

“Oh.” You snort and decide to joke. “Both.”

Kol grins at you, but then, thankfully, leaves you alone again. 

After breakfast, you retreat back into your room, not in the mood to face the day. If Klaus is really going to start shit with Marcel, it’ll be an intense day. You’ve never met the current king of the French Quarter, but Elijah’s told stories. Marcel and the family used to be close, but then, like all their other relationships, ties ended drastically. 

“But not with you, of course,” he had promised. “You’re our girl.”

You were skeptical for a moment. Who wouldn’t be, knowing the Mikaelsons? But then Klaus approached you from behind with a kiss to your hair and confirmed his brother’s words,

“As long as we have your loyalty, you’ll always have ours.”

You could see the truth in his statement. Everyone who ended up on their bad side had betrayed them in some way. So, as long as you didn’t repeat others’ mistakes; as long as you kept your trust in the family, you would be considered family. And ever since the day you first grew close, you have been their family. 

You’re close with all of the siblings. Elijah, first, when you couldn’t take your eyes off him at Damon’s dinner party. Then Rebekah, and then Kol, when he undaggered. Even Finn, before his untimely death - thanks to Matt, your good friend now worst enemy. Klaus took the longest to trust you, and you can’t blame him for having trust issues, but once he realized how much his siblings adored you, he was quick to accept your place with them. 

Now, the five of you live together, nine hundred miles from your hometown. It’s certainly a change, but every day with them is an adventure.

Like today, you suddenly think, overhearing Elijah’s footsteps in the hallway. Today has definitely been one of those days. 

“Y/N?” He stops outside your door.

“Mhm?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

Elijah opens the door, but doesn’t fully enter your room. He looks you up and down before smiling. “I just thought you seemed sad earlier and wanted to check on you. Is everything okay?”

“Oh!” You put on a brave face to mask the tiredness you feel internally. “Yeah, I’m just out of sorts today. It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure? Because if someone’s bothering you, that’s something we can take care of.”

“No, no, I promise. It’s all just me. Just having a day.”

“You’re positive?” He asks for confirmation again.

“Have I ever lied to you, ‘Lijah?”

He looks down at his shoes, embarrassed. “No, you haven’t. I apologize for doubting you.”

“It’s okay,” you step closer to him, resting against the door frame. “No need to apologize. But I swear, I just… woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something. New Orleans is a loud city. I’m still adjusting.”

“Okay. Well, call if you need anything. Even the smallest thing.”

“I will.”

“Oh, and be careful in the off-chance that Marcel storms in here. There’s a fight brewing in the quarter.”

“I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Better yet, stay inside for the day. So you’re not in harm’s way at all.”

“Okay, ‘Lijah.”

He smiles at you, then kisses your hand. “Now, I need to neutralize my brother. But I needed to make sure our girl was okay first.”

“She’s okay. Go deal with him.”

Elijah straightens his collar before speeding off to no doubt defend his brother in a fight. You love Klaus, but man, does he get angry. And then from anger, comes pure rage, then absolute chaos. Once situations escalate that far, the whole block better hide if they want to keep their hearts in their chest. 

You sigh, thinking of the carnage that may come. You’re not sure you can deal with his anger issues today, especially not coupled with those of Marcel. Of all the days they have to fight, it’s the one that you might snap, too, if he raises his voice one more time. 

Suddenly, your bed looks like the perfect oasis away from the mess behind your door. A good pillow over the ears might prevent an impending meltdown. You crawl into it at once and let your body melt into the mattress. 

You hadn’t lied to Elijah, though you hadn’t given him the full truth, either. Yes, you are, in general, okay. Not necessarily today, but at that moment, you were. Also yes, you’re not feeling great today, partly because of all the city noise. And, finally, yes, most of it is just you and your body not in the mood to be awake. Though Klaus is contributing, just a little bit, to your mental distress today. Elijah would understand, of course, but then he’d have a talk with his brother about it, and you really didn’t want to burden either of them in that way, so you put on a smile and didn’t mention it. You’d bet Elijah knows the full truth, and knows why you won’t admit it, but he respects you if you don’t want to talk about it. That’s one of the reasons you love him so much. 

You get a couple hours of rest until your slumber is interrupted by a new knock on your door. It’s not soft, like Elijah’s, so it must be one of the younger two. 

“Oh no,” you mutter, wondering what it must be now.

“Y/N?” Rebekah’s voice comes from the other side. “Are you awake?”

“I am now.” 

She opens the door as you reply. “Oh what the bloody hell are you still doing in bed?”

“Sleeping.”

“Obviously! Come watch a movie with Kol and I! We’d love your company.”

“An actual movie, or the public display of violence happening outside in the quarter?”

“We haven’t decided yet!” She grabs your hand. “Come on!”

You yawn. “I’m gonna pass today, I’m not up for it.”

“Awh, Y/N! It won’t be as fun without you!”

“I have a headache, Bex,” you fib. 

“Do you want some blood for that?”

“Does that even work like that?”

She shrugs, “not sure.”

You cuddle into your pillow. “Another time, okay?”

The girl smiles, then leans forward to kiss your head. “Okay. If you change your mind, come find us.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“Dinner’s at seven. Will you be there?”

“Yeah,” you promise, “I should be better by then.”

You are not, in fact, better by then. If anything, your foul mood progressed into an actual headache within thirty minutes of Rebekah leaving. Shouts throughout the city managed to penetrate the thin glass of your windows, and you could hear almost everything as Klaus heckled the current king. For hours, it went on, until the sun went down and they assumedly put it off for another day. By seven o’clock, you were able to sneak in another nap, but you still felt way overstimulated from the day’s events. 

Not to mention the fact that you spent all day in bed. Sometimes, you’re overstimulated by too much going on, but today you partly did it to yourself by hiding away all day. The guilt of avoiding everyone weighs on your chest. Rebekah had invited you to a movie; Elijah went out of his way to check up on you, and you had more or less dismissed them both. A bitter taste sits in your mouth when you think about it. Water doesn’t wash it out.

Hopefully dinner will. 

For the first ten minutes, the night passes peacefully. Most of the conversation is focused between the meal and the movie the two had watched. The events of the day, seemingly, are left in the past.

But then, of course, Kol has to make a comment on something he overheard that he thought was funny. And that set Klaus off into a spewing of anger. He’s pissed at Marcel, but now, also, at Kol for bringing it up. Elijah puts his face in his hands, and Rebekah sends both a huge eye roll. 

What was a moment of much-appreciated silence is now a yelling match. After five minutes, you reach your breaking point. 

“Why do you feel the need to comment on that, Kol? It was so insignificant, but you’ve felt the need to bring it up, and now I’m reminded of how much Marcel has done to piss me off!”

“I didn’t mean to make you upset, bloody hell! I thought it was funny!”

“It wasn’t funny to me when he was spitting in my face! I-”

“Oh my god! Are you ever not arguing?!” You suddenly shout. 

The table goes silent and all eyes are on you. A needle could be dropped and it would be heard across the quarter. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologize quickly, embarrassed.

“Love,” Elijah puts a hand on your shoulder, “are you alright?”

At his touch, you flinch. He retracts his hand quickly, but doesn’t move his body away from its proximity to yours. 

Klaus, although upset at the interruption, notices this and calms a little. “Everything okay, Y/N?”

“I’m fine. It’s nothing.”

“That little outburst didn’t sound like nothing.”

“I’m just stressed.”

“Darling, what’s got you all upset? Tell us and we’ll sort it out now.”

“It’s no one, Kol, I’m just not feeling well.”

“Still have a headache, sweetheart?” Rebekah asks. 

“You have a headache?” Klaus butts in. 

The assortment of questions makes you drop your head. It nearly hits the table, but Elijah grabs your frame before you can fall. Tears form in your eyes, visibly. 

“I’m just really overstimulated today. I woke up weird and this city is loud, and then there was all the fighting all day long, and then I hid in my room all day, but then I felt bad about hiding, and now I’m making you all worried because I can’t get my shit under control!”

“And that’s your fault, how?” Elijah asks, “you cannot blame yourself for the way you feel.”

“But I need to handle my emotions better. I’m sorry.”

“No apologies necessary, love,” Klaus adds, “I certainly haven’t helped, fighting with children all day.”

“Niklaus,” Elijah warns, but Klaus doesn’t argue with him this time. 

“I should’ve stayed with you when you said you had a headache.”

“Don’t blame yourself either, Bex. It’s not your fault.”

“But we could’ve cuddled,” she frowns.

“It’s okay. I got a nap, and it helped a little. I just need to get used to my life being different now. None of you are at fault.”

“Nor are you,” the eldest reminds, “it’s been quite a day for us all.”

Kol clears his throat, “say, after dinner, if you feel up to it, we could all watch a movie and cuddle around you? I think some comfort is much needed.”

“Sure,” you agree, “but I might fall asleep during it.”

“That’s quite alright,” he smiles. He then stands up to hug you, but when his arms wrap around your neck, you freeze.

“Not yet, please. I’m still a bit stressed.”

He gives you a wink. “Of course, darling. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Klaus flicks his napkin across the table. He’s folded it into the shape of a heart. “We love you. You know that, right?”

You take the heart, kiss it, and put it in your pocket. “I do. I love you all, too. Thanks for understanding.”

[toggle1-mrfipp]

Something I really love about Elden Ring compared to the other Souls games is that its story is far more "present" than any of the others. In Demons' and the Dark trilogy, the world is tittering on the edge, all the big and major events have already happened and the major players are either gone or are something less than who they were by the time you show up, at this point you're basically just cleaning up. With Bloodborne, you get to Yahar'gul the first time and there's something off, there's this odd and tense atmosphere, you find this big locked gate but there's nothing you can do. Later you find out that while you were minding your own business killing werewolves, Micolash's people were conducting rituals and you then inadvertently help them pop things off by killing Rom. Seikro has a whole civil war going on in the background, everything Genichiro does is because of this war, but it is not in any way a concern for Wolf.

Elden Ring feels like the first time in these games where you feel like an active participate in the events of the story; yes Marika shattered the Elden Ring an age ago and lots of important things happen, but stuff is still happening in the present day, varying characters have their own goals and motivations that propel them forwards: Melina, Ranni, Morgott, Mogh, Rykard, Gideon, Goldmask Fia, Dung Eater, Shabriri, Gowry and so many other characters are all taking steps to push the world into the way they want it to be, and you are at the center of it. These plans living or dying depend on you and the actions you take, and how it fits in with your own ambitions. Even the background lore seems to be rather more connected than most of the other games because the relationships between all these majors characters and how they interact with one another is vital, which is different compared to how isolated from one another other lore important figures in the past games typically are.

It's why the Shadow of the Erdtree is maybe my favorite Fromsoft narrative; Miquella hasn't been in the Land of Shadows for an age and a half, he got there like a day or two before you did, and everyone is trying to figure out what exactly he's trying to do as he does it. Him leaving behind his Great Rune happens in real time, you can feel it across the map, and him dispelling his charms has changes in each of the characters who then pursue their own goals. The fight against Leda and her allies, a gank fight no less, is maybe one of the best fights in this series because it's the culmination of all these stories coming to head, of them all wanting something from this journey and fighting for it. It's the first time I think in this game that actual conversations happen, and I loved hearing Leda, Freyja and Moore exchange words with Thiollier and Ansbach because it cements that this was an active story.

God I love this game.

[xcherryerim]

A Helping Hand

Touch starved Mike x gn!reader | wc: 2.4k

“It will take a while for the scars in my heart to heal, that’s what I believed. At some point, I am in your embrace. You touch my heart baby” — Touch by Miss A

SMUT ONE SHOT | MDNI | +18 ONLY

warning: Friends to lovers | Mike is having an existential crisis | Handjob | Oral sex (only Mike) | Facial | Shower sex | porn without (much) plot | Calling mike a “good boy” | angst

In the warm lit bathroom, illuminated only by a single soft glow of the cheap lightbulb, Mike sat on a plastic chair, his broken leg propped up on a stack of towels. The lukewarm water cascaded over his body, mingling with the salty tears that traced down his pale cheeks.

His eyes, red-rimmed and glistening, pleaded with yours as he whispered, "Please touch me."

For the past few weeks, you'd been there for Mike whenever he needed you. He was once a self-sufficient man who refused help from others, but now that his leg was momentarily immobilized, he found himself at the mercy of those around him. His job not compensating for his leave, coupled with the overwhelming weight of daily struggles, had left him feeling trapped and helpless.

The realization that his life had spiraled out of control weighed heavily on his shoulders. It was one thing to acknowledge the despair, but quite another to confront it head-on with nothing but time on his hands. In this cramped bathroom, surrounded by tiled walls, he felt even smaller, more isolated than ever.

With tenderness and care, you stepped into the shower stall, succumbing to the task of helping Mike bathe despite the challenges posed by his injured leg. As the warm water poured down upon both of you, you began to wash his hair with the specialized shampoo and conditioner, working the suds through his locks with gentle precision.

When you moved onto his back, your fingertips brushed over his tense muscles, tracing the web of pain etched into his skin. Each stroke, each caress seemed to pull at the threads of his empty heart, finally, he couldn't contain it any longer when you stood in front of him, trying to wash his neck and chest. His fragile facade cracked as tears formed into his honey soulless eyes.

Looking at his reddened eyes and the sniffling sounds emanating from his nose, concern washed over you. "Mike, are you alright?" you inquired, worry lacing your words.

"Please touch me," he choked out, his voice barely above a whisper. "Just… touch me. Please."

Your heart ached for him, seeing him like this - broken, vulnerable, and begging for human connection. His erection strained against the fabric of his shorts, an unmistakable sign of his need for intimacy.

“I know I'm asking too much, I know I've been a burden with all the favors you've done for me these past few days, but I just—" Mike hesitated, his voice breaking as he struggled to find the right words.

His admission hung in the air between you, thick with guilt and the weight of his burgeoning dependency on your kindness.

With a deep, shuddering breath, he continued, "I just can't take this loneliness any longer."

His confession struck you like a punch to the gut, his vulnerability laying bare the emotional toll his situation had taken on him. You could see the fear lurking in his eyes, the desperate plea for understanding and support. And though a part of you yearned to provide the comfort he sought, you also knew that giving in would only complicate matters further.

Instead, you opted for a different approach, seeking to ease his pain in words rather than touch.

"Mike, I understand how hard this must be for you," you said softly. "But you're not alone, and we'll get through it together. I promise."

Your hand lingered on his shoulder, a tentative gesture of solidarity, offering the smallest measure of comfort without breaching the boundaries of your friendship.

Despite the distance you maintained, you could feel the tension in his frame, the unraveling of his composure under the strain of his emotions.

"You don't find me attractive?" he asked, his voice strained as if the very thought pained him. Tears welled in his eyes, threatening to spill over as he searched your face for answers. "I... I didn't mean to push you, I just..."

Swallowing hard, you replied softly, "It's not that, Mike. It's just... your request would change things between us. Our friendship would never be the same."

Defeat washed over his features, and he shifted his gaze downward, fixating on his length before quickly looking away in embarrassment. "I just want to feel wanted, desired, useful to someone... anything..." he whispered, the depth of his anguish echoing in every word.

"It could be just once," Mike suggested, grasping at any sliver of hope he could find. His hopeful eyes locked onto yours, their pleading depths reflecting the faint light from the bathroom fixture.

His grip on your hand tightened, a silent prayer that you'd consider his desperate proposal. The air grew heavier with his unspoken desires, the weight of his needs bearing down upon both of you in the confined space.

“Our secret.”

You stood there, torn between compassion and conviction, struggling to reconcile the gravity of the situation. It was impossible to ignore the sincerity in his gaze, the raw need for human connection that seemed to emanate from him. Yet, you couldn't shake the sense that giving in would irreparably alter the course of your relationship.

Finally, you managed to find your voice, your tone heavy with uncertainty as you answered, "Mike, I don't think it's a good idea. This isn't something we can undo or ignore later.” Uncertainty lacing your words.

But his grasp on your hand tightened, his pleading gaze never wavering. "I don't want to ignore it. I want you, I truly do. Please, just do this for me." His fingers trailed along your palm, his touch lingering on your skin as he guided it towards his trembling form. When his hand paused at his pelvis, you felt the heat radiating from him, a testament to the turmoil within.

Staring into your eyes, he implored you once more, his voice quivering with the weight of his longing. You could see the torment reflected in his pupils, the raw honesty of his need. And yet, despite the yearning, you knew that giving in would be crossing a line neither of you could return from.

Yet you found yourself drawn to the sight before you: his waterlogged body, the foggy atmosphere, and the haunting desperation in his eyes.

With a shaky breath, you gave in, nodding reluctantly in agreement with his plea. "But, this never happened," you insisted, attempting to impose some semblance of control over the situation.

Slowly, your hand descended to meet his base, the warmth of his skin contrasting with the dampness of the surroundings. Each nerve in your body screamed at you to stop, urging you to reconsider the implications of your actions. But the anguish in his eyes pulled you forward, forcing you to grapple with the reality of his suffering.

Biting your lip, you closed your eyes, swallowing hard as you began to move your hand, knowing full well that this moment would forever change the course of your lives. The steamy air seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the outcome of your decision as the two of you were in the shower, bound by a secret neither of you could escape.

Mike nodded numbly, a silent agreement between you both as he attempted to stifle the rising cries of pleasure. "Thank you," he whispered, his gratitude overshadowed by the raw emotion surging through him.

Watching your hand move delicately over him, he couldn't help but feel the intense mix of shame and ecstasy coursing through his veins.

You steeled yourself against the stirrings of guilt, focusing solely on the task at hand. The water continued to pour over you both, serving as a constant reminder of the fragility of your situation.

As Mike's breath hitched and his eyes rolled back in bliss, you found yourself lost in the dichotomy of his emotions: the gratitude, the shame, and the overwhelming need for connection.

You opened your eyes, catching sight of Mike biting down on his fist, a futile attempt to silence his cries of pleasure. A small, involuntary chuckle escaped you, the sound carrying a hint of tension.

“You can make sounds, it's okay," you reassured him, a tender smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Closing your eyes once more, you hoped that the vivid imagery of their current predicament wouldn't scar your memories.

But the sight of Mike's flushed skin, his eyes tight shut in ecstasy, and the pink length curved around your hand was enough to dispel any remaining reservations. To your surprise, your grip tightened around him, your movements becoming more assured, more passionate. The water continued to fall, oblivious to the shift in dynamics between you both.

"Fuck!" Mike groaned, gripping your wrist and urging you to increase your pace. His gratitude shone brightly in his eyes as he spoke. "Thank you."

Nodding in agreement, you positioned yourself between his legs, the steamy environment providing little privacy in this intimate encounter.

Mike's head shook slightly, his eyes cast downward in a display of vulnerability. "You don't have to do this, It's okay." His voice trembled, tinged with shyness.

A smirk played across your lips. "Be a good boy and take what I give you," you instructed playfully, wrapping your hand around him once more. Your tongue danced around his tip, drawing a startled whimper from him.

"I'll be a good boy! I'll be a good boy!" he cried out, his words punctuated by gasps of pleasure.

His moans filled the bathroom, a testament to the newfound intimacy that had consumed you.

As you continued, the boundaries between friends and lovers blurred, leaving no room for regret or hesitation. Every touch, every movement was driven by an unspoken understanding, born of necessity and longing.

This time, you engulfed him fully, relishing in the way his body shuddered under your touch. It seemed as if he teetered on the edge of release, his cries growing louder and more fervent.

His hand reached back, gently guiding your head to him, a combination of shyness and desperation etched in his expression. Over time, his grip tightened, urging you to accept more of him, hungry for the sensation.

Your heart raced, the consequences of your actions weighing heavily on your mind. But the hunger in his eyes, the pleading earnestness in his touch, made it difficult to resist.

"You take me so good..." Mike murmured, locking gazes with you as he succumbed further to his desire. His appreciation was palpable, the praise you offered striking a chord in his soul.

In response, you slowed your movements, meeting his eyes as you whispered, "And you feel so good in my mouth." The compliment sparked a blush and a small, grateful smile on his face. Praise – an elixir for his wounded heart.

The water continued to rain down on you both, rendering the bathroom a sacred chamber of vulnerable admissions and simmering passions. In this cramped space, the two of you were stripped bare, submerged in a maelstrom of shifting emotions and escalating pleasures. The boundary between friend and lover had vanished, replaced by a new territory where your instincts governed your actions.

Mike's breathing quickened, the anticipation of release building within him. And though you knew this moment was fraught with consequence, there was an undeniable pull toward the ecstasy that lay just beyond the horizon.

"Can I...?" Mike stammered, his voice trembling and hoarse. After collecting himself, he asked hesitantly, "Can I come on your face or, your body?"

"You're close?" you inquired, unable to hide the curiosity from your tone.

"Yeah, I couldn't last that long with you... you know," he admitted, flustered. Taking a deep breath, he hastily added, "Sorry, I wanted to last longer." Embarrassment colored his features, but his eyes beseeched you to understand.

Mike's apology lingered in the air, but you dismissed it with a gentle wave of your hand, recognizing the power of your connection. Despite the enormity of what was happening between you, the bond that once existed seemed to transform, adapting to the new landscape of emotions and desires.

His release drew near, every twitch and moan drawing you closer to the precipice. The water continued to pour, its relentless cadence echoing the intensity of the situation. And while the implications of your actions weighed heavily on your mind, the thrall of the present moment beckoned you, the two of you locked in an intricate dance of surrender and acceptance.

Finally, Mike released a strained cry, using the last of his strength to guide his release onto your face. It painted your skin, marking you with the evidence of his passion, only to be washed away by the endless stream of water. In that brief moment of shared ecstasy, the room seemed to hold its breath, waiting for the outcome.

Then, without warning, Mike hauled you in for a kiss – a desperate, yearning embrace that had years of suppressed feelings woven into it. His lips pressed against yours, a testament to the depth of your connection. The water continued its steady descent, but you barely noticed as you were consumed by the weight of the moment.

As the echo of Mike's cry faded, you found yourselves frozen in the aftermath, clinging to each other like shipwrecked sailors finding solid ground. The reality of your actions bore down on you, a stark reminder of the journey you had just embarked upon. Yet amid the chaos, there was a strange sense of calm, the two of you buoyed by the shared experience that would forever bind you together.

Mike reached for the loofah hanging on the wall, extending it to you between gasps for air.

"You didn't do my back right," he panted, half-joking.

Rolling your eyes, you rose to your feet, a soft chuckle escaping you. "Asshole," you muttered, taking the loofah and moving behind him. As you carefully scrubbed his back, you couldn't help but study the contours, each mole a tiny piece of art etched onto his skin.

"We seriously need to find you a partner or a sneaky link," you sighed, the gravity of your recent exchange weighing heavily on your mind.

"Or maybe a friend with benefits?" Mike countered, glancing at you from the corner of his eye.

You considered his suggestion briefly, a faint smile playing on your lips. "Maybe," you agreed, the idea hovering between laughter and contemplation.

The water continued to flow, washing away the remnants of your uncertainty and hesitation. The room felt charged with the knowledge of what had transpired, yet there was a strange comfort in the weight of it all. Your hands moved gently over his back, the loofah a buffer between the new reality and the old normalcy.

my dumbass forgot the taglist bro: @freak-accident419 @joshhutchersonsgf @valreanakuroo @cassiecasluciluce @jhutchismyl0verb0y