#pete tried to commit suicide!!!!!!!!!!!

[bitacrytic]

Once more!!!!

Rapists and kidnappers are NOT doms.

Rapists and kidnappers are NOT doms.

The difference between a dom and a rapist/kidnapper is consent.

If there has never been a conversation where the "submissive" gave clear consent to the "dominant" to do A SPECIFIC THING, then it is not BDSM, but abuse.

If the "submissive" agrees to one thing but does not agree to another and the "dominant" still goes ahead and does it, then it's ABUSE!!!

Communication and consent.

COMMUINCATION AND CONSENT.

Enjoy your toxic, fictional characters. Love them for what they are. But please, stop saying that abusive men are doms because they are not.

[darlingshane]

Burden

Carmy Berzatto & SIL!Reader + Past!Michael Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: After Michael's death, you moved out of Chicago and took the kids to be closer to your family. A year later, you come back to see the Berzattos and on your last day you have a heart-to-heart with Carmy.

Content/Warnings: Angst, Grief, Guilt, Mention of Death and Suicide.

Word Count: 1,6k

A/N: Carmy calls reader Sis.

— You can read below or at AO3.

Being back in Chicago hurts more than you could have imagined. Even if it's just for a short visit, so your kids can reconnect with their aunt and uncle.

This isn’t the most exciting trip you’ve ever taken, but at the end it’s sad to leave this city behind once again. That feeling won’t ever go away. After all, this is the place where you met and built a life with Michael. This is where your two kids were born. And like in all good tragedies, this is also the place where your soul mate decided to abandon you when he took an early exit by his own hand.

A year later, you're still dealing with the aftermath of it all.

You moved to Minneapolis to be closer to your family mere days after your oldest daughter finished her school year. It was the right choice for all of you. But you all miss being closer to the Berzattos. You've always had a great relationship with most of them.

Natalie has been a great support, even in distance; even when battling with her own grief. She's the one you’ve talked to more often and the one who gave you that little push you needed to come visit.

It’s been a hectic week, especially since they’re reopening The Beef — The Bear — now, and they’re running against the clock to have everything ready for the launch next month. You haven’t stepped inside the restaurant since before Michael's death, and that’s something you can’t still bring yourself to do.

On your last day in the city, Aunt Natalie and Uncle Pete take your eight-year-old Madison and, god help them, your two-year-old Aiden for a fun day out while you hang back in the house.

You take that as an opportunity to pack everything for tomorrow and to finally get the guts to call Carmy to invite him for lunch and have some quality time with him for old times’ sake.

In regard to your brother-in-law, you’ve both been more distant toward the other than you used to be. He's become more reserved after Michael's death, and all your energy has been put on your two kids, and poorly handling everything else.

Back in the day, when Michael was still alive, you were the one to always call Carmy when Mikey stopped ditching his brother’s calls altogether. At some point, you ran out of excuses to give to Carmen on behalf of your husband's behavior. So, you’d just say – Just Mikey being Mikey.

Carmy and you knew that was bullshit.

Michael had a gregarious nature that remained unchanged until the last second. It’s hard to believe it was just a mask he put on to keep everyone happy, including you.

It begs to question what else you didn’t know about Michael, or if there was something different you could’ve done or said to change the outcome of that night.

Nothing has ever filled you with more guilt and remorse for not paying closer attention. It has also left you with a lot of anger the way he chose to leave you and the kids to your own devices. You know it's selfish, cause he had to be hurt beyond words to commit an act like that. The Michael you remember would have never done anything as such. It unnerves you that he didn't feel comfortable enough to come and talk to you. And you've exhausted your mind going over and over all the events preceding that day, searching for something that you'd have said that would have pushed him farther into that abyss. Something was off, and you should have tried harder to figure out what was going on with Michael. But in the midst of handling two young kids and your own job, you missed all the clues to Michael's secret affliction.

Regardless of that, Michael will always be the person you've loved the most, along with your children, and while the wound is still open and bleeding, you need to try to mend that relationship with Carmen before it's too late.

You're folding a pile of clean clothes and sorting them in your suitcase when the doorbell rings.

Swallowing that anxious lump in your throat, you open the door and greet him.

“Hope you don't mind, I ordered some pizza. I'm not much of a cook and figured you'd been so busy with… I didn't want you to…”

“No, that's fine, Sis. Pizza is perfect,” he's clearly nervous too when he takes off his jacket and hangs it on the back of a chair. “So they left you alone, huh?”

“Yeah. Aiden is probably driving them nuts. Do you want something to drink?” you gesture toward the kitchen.

“Uh, sure.”

Carmy follows you into the kitchen. He gets a soda, and you get a glass of water.

This is the first time you've seen him alone without Natalie or the kids around to interrupt. It feels a little awkward to be honest. Everything is still so raw for all of you, that locking eyes with Carmy's steel blue gaze feels like being stabbed with cold daggers. It's hard to look at him without seeing yourself in that same sea of despair.

Sipping his drink, his attention is drawn to a picture that Sugar took of Aiden a few days ago, pinned under a magnet on the fridge's door.

“He's gotten so big since…” Carmy trails off, pointing at your toddler. “How are they doing?”

“The kids?” he nods at you. “They're fine for the most part. Aiden is easier. He doesn't…” you don't have to finish the sentence for him to pick up what you mean. He was still a baby when it happened and until he's older, you won't be able to explain what happened. “And Madison… She really, really misses her dad, you know? She tries to put on a brave face, but some days she doesn't want to talk. And every other night she ends up in my bed begging me to not ever leave her.” You place the glass down on the counter, turn around to face the window, so he doesn't see the tears streaming down your face. “Ugh, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't burden you with this. You have enough already with…”

“Don't apologize, Sis. God, I hate him for doing that to you and the kids,” Carmen says softly.

“You shouldn't. He was your brother. It was my fault after all. I should've… I'm sorry.”

“Don't go there, Sis. It was nobody's fault.”

“No, it was. I was supposed to look after him, and I failed. He just left one night… and never came back. And I should've seen. I should've known… ”

“Listen,” there's a pause and a sigh while he gathers the rambling of his thoughts. “I have no idea what was going on with him. You and I both know that he could barely talk to me. And these past few months, I've found out things about him that I don't completely understand. But if there's one thing I know about Michael is that he loved you and the kids more than anything, and wouldn't want you to blame yourself for what he did. That's on him. I'm not gonna let you do that, okay?”

Staring at the sink, you vaguely nod, and wipe your tears. Guilting yourself over Michael's death is something that's going to follow you always. Even if it wasn't your fault. There are things about that night that still don't sit right with you. Every day, you wish you could go back in time and scream at yourself to look closer, pay attention, and ask him to stay that night you saw him leave for the last time.

“He was so stubborn sometimes. I should've pushed him harder to talk to you.”

“That's not on you, either. I know you tried.”

“He was very proud of you, you know?” you finally glance over yourself to see his reaction.

Though you knew Michael was highly proud of his little brother, he never got to express that face to face, or even on the phone. Maybe telling Carmy what you know could help him a little.

“Was he?” His head heavily slumps into his shoulders as a response, as if he wasn't completely sure Michael cared at all. He said he did, – I give a huge fuck, – Carmy recalls his brother saying that eventful Christmas. But after that, things went stale again, and he was back to being the odd man out.

“He was incredibly proud of you, Carmen,” you reassure him. “Michael really, really loved you, and respected you so much.”

“Maybe he did, but he didn’t want me here.”

“It wasn’t like that. He… Michael thought you deserved much better than to end up with him stuck in that hole in the wall. His words,” you point out. “He thought you were artistic and talented, and having you working with him would've kept you from going to Copenhagen and working in the best restaurants in the world. He believed that you could do anything, and needed to go out and chase that dream for both, for you and him, and experience everything that he couldn’t.”

“He told you that?” He moves to stand next to you, bracing his palms on the counter.

“Maybe not in that many words, but yeah.”

“He could have done any of that, too.”

“Yeah, he could’ve. But that’s not what he wanted. He took his chances with what he got, and that was his path. Not yours, Carmy. I should’ve told you earlier, it’s just…”

“… Hard. Tell me about it.”

“I’ve missed talking to you. I wasn’t trying to push you away like he did.”

“I know, Sis. I know. You have your hands full. I wasn't expecting you to. I get it. You can call anytime, you know? If the kids are giving you a hard time, or you just need to talk… I’m not Natalie, but I can listen.”

“Yeah, likewise.”

You both timidly smile at the other, and the burden weighing on your shoulders lightens just a little.

[chaifootsteps]

I get why the discussion is being framed around SA survivors, because y'all should have the loudest voice

but I'd like to widen the scope for a sec if I may. I feel like it should have occurred to Viv & others that putting a sudden scene of graphic SA during a pop song would be upsetting not just to SA survivors, but to her audience as a whole

from leaks and the script it seems clear to me that the tone of the first couple of episodes is pretty light hearted. We have Angel Dust joking around about how his body should be exploited, for Pete's sake!

it's a massive whiplash to any audience, victims of SA or not, to just dump something that heavy on them with potentially no warning. even outside of traumatic experiences everyone has a different threshold of how much explicit content they can handle, be it SA or gore.

I have seen movies/dramas/etc that have had either scenes of murder/suicide/SA that I've found genuinely distressing. Sometimes the creator has tried to portray the subject realistically, but it's still difficult to watch onscreen. And sometimes it's for shock value. That's usually worse. Even outside of people who have first hand topic with having lose someone/tried to commit suicide/experience SA, some people will still find depictions of any of those things hard to watch. It's just basic human empathy to warn for it properly and consider the effect on an audience.

and it can be dangerous if you get it wrong - 13 Reasons Why had a graphic suicide scene and it's notorious for causing an uptick in suicides among teens (there are news articles on this for those who would like to know more).

Saying people 'knew what they were getting into' with HH is unfair, imo - it's entirely through the lens of a presupposed viewer who is familiar with the show and has probably read the Angel Dust prequel comic or seen Addict. But with a new show on Prime there will be viewers who are going into the whole thing without context (some of whom will be critics watching the thing for work, of course).

Is it fair for them to be sideswiped four episodes in with a scene of graphic SA with potentially no content warning, in a show that's been pretty goofy and silly up to that point?

Extremely good point, Anon. Thank you for this.

It's entirely possible, more likely than not even, that after the episode officially airs, it's going to leave some people -- who may or may not be survivors -- feeling like they were blindsided by a brutal rape scene. They have a right to be upset about that, and as much as Viv might insist she'll be fine with taking criticism after that point, nothing she's ever done has indicated that that'll be true.

[chalkrevelations]

Note to self:

Vegas may have got his fingers in the cracks and pulled Pete open, but Pete was primed for it because there were already hairline cracks in his little tailorbird perfect bodyguard armor from Porsche. Any look at the Pete-Porsche relationship has GOT to be informed by the monumental fact that Porsche was probably the first person - in how long? - to make Pete actually feel anything (other than useless), and that’s why Pete was willing to walk into the lion’s den for him. The very act of infiltrating the minor family compound for info that would not only help the main family but also exonerate Porsche was a way for Pete to be actively useful and therefore alive in a way he hadn’t felt in who knows how long. (And I think he would have done it for Porsche anyway, but I also think his mindset wasn’t helped by the fact that he was coming off a series of spying missions that he tried to tell Kinn he wasn’t good at and that he kept failing at, which probably didn’t help with the issue of feeling useless, nor of needing to find something he could be useful at before he went out doing what he’d been trained to do - offering himself up as a sacrifice for the main family.)

That’s also why the probability of being captured and tortured and killed was something Pete seemed to be fine with - once Porsche was exonerated, Pete’s usefulness was done, so why not die and escape the meaningless useless nothingness his life would just go back to? In the meantime, he was already looking forward to capture and torture because it made him feel something, because it was for Porsche before it ever became about Vegas and about Pete’s response to Vegas, back at the point when Vegas was still a means to an end, for Pete. At the point when Vegas was still nothing more than a tool of violence, the way he was for everyone else in the main or minor families - just one that Pete was going to turn on himself, for a little bit of pain to feel alive one last time before committing suicide-by-Vegas.

And Vegas plays his role, because that’s what he does, that’s what he’s been trained to do, that’s what been beaten into him (lit. and fig.) his entire life, that’s what everyone - including he, himself, at that point - thinks he is. The torturer, the monster, the beast. The tool of violence. God, no wonder Vegas was so angry at the beginning. It’s a feedback loop of dehumanization. What Vegas does to Pete at the beginning of their arc is so obvious and in your face, it almost obscures what Pete’s doing to Vegas.

“Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced that I am yours, I will be it.”

I need to think about all of this some more.

[caught-in-the-infinite]

Let's review the timeline

Day 0: The crew raid the wedding, Izzy tells them to throw the loot overboard, Izzy confronts Ed, Ed shoots Izzy, Ed tries to commit suicide by storm/mutiny (fails).

Day 2/3?: Stede rescues his crew from the Red Flag, Ed is resurrected

Day 4: Ed is banished, Ed and Stede have dinner with Mary and Anne

Day 5: Ed wears his sack cloth of shame, tries to make it up to Lucius and Fang. Izzy teaches Stede how to be a pirate. Ed kisses Stede but wants to take it slow. Lucius and Black Pete get engaged

Day 6: Lucius and Pete emerge from a 24hr post engagement sex session to find the Calypso's Birthday attacked by Ned Lowe. Stede kills Ned, rushes into sex with Ed.

Day 7: Izzy interrupts Stede and Ed's morning after to say they've docked at the Republic of Pirates (and to make a docking joke). Stede is famous for what he did yesterday and Ed leaves to be a fisherman. The ships explode.

Day 8: Ed gets kicked from the fishing crew, returns to the Republic, is suddenly fine killing a bunch of people. Reunites with Stede. Holds Izzy in his arms.

Day 9/10?: Ed and Stede leave pirating forever to become innkeepers.

[27-royal-teas]

hi its lyric analysis time and uhh this time im tying Hum Hallelujah to the Best Buy incident because i really do think that pete’s past is integral in his writing and also i just kind of want to address it. It’s some dark shit so read with caution. Trigger warnings for lengthy (but not graphic) discussions of suicide, suicide attempts, and drug overdose.

i address things very jumbled and the verses are out of order so yeahh. In addition i did use lyricgenius a lot but im not just copying off them, i have my own ideas, give me some credit ://

For those of you guys who dont know, pete tried to commit suicide via anxiety med overdose in a best buy parking lot after FUTCT was released in 2005 (thus, ‘best buy incident’) but i just want to touch on how it affected his songs, this one in particular; it shows through the lyrics in this and i really dont see enough people talking about it because this song is a masterpiece (i am well aware Infinity On High released sixteen years ago (WOW) but you all talk about thnks fr th mmrs and arms race enough- this is not a bad thing, i just really like this song)

So hum hallelujah’s chorus goes like this:

“So hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason

I thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light

A teenage vow in a parking lot; til tonight do us part

I sing the blues and swallow them too.”

pete is pretty much known for his lyrics (aside from being a bassist and several media scandals) and a lot of his lyrics, if you havent noticed, are really fucking depressing. He thinks that maybe he can swallow the sadness which presumably alludes to the drug overdose (“i sing the blues and swallow them too”). It feels also like hes saying that he swallows his own words, as well- his style of lyrics is deeply confessional and tells a story, just like blues, of which is described to hold a conversational feel. It could also be a throwback to the saying you’re going to eat your words, which basically just means ‘you’re going to regret what you say’. He’s singing his sadness. 

For the rest of the chorus, it’s pretty much just the best buy incident. Hallelujah references what he was listening to when he tried to do it. lyricgenius notes that the key of c major is often referred to as the ‘key of reason’ (the original hallelujah was written in this key). HOWEVER, hum hallelujah was written in the key of D (which is right after C major) which makes it just off the key of reason. ‘A teenage vow in a parking lot’ (lyricgenius doesnt agree with me on this one rip) references the attempt- a vow of death; vows are meant to be binding, but a teenage vow might be broken as teenagers are typically painted to be naive (showing he DIDNT SUCCEED IN THE ATTEMPT). the parking lot is because best buy. You might also contrast this line with marriage and how those vows are supposed to be binding, although thats not always the case. ‘Til tonight do us part’ brings up the marriage vow (again) ‘until death do us part’. hes talking about how since he’s going to do it that day, that will be the day they are parted. 

i also wanted to look into the reasoning of hallelujah beyond the fact that that was what he was listening to, and google steadily reports that it means praise the lord or praise god and appears in several psalms in the Old Testament, typically at the beginning or the end. Its a phrase that, to me, symbolizes relief and new beginnings, and i think its interesting that its paired with this line in this way. 

Straying away from the musical explanation, ‘just off the key of reason’ could also be interpreted as ‘just off the verge of insanity’ (just off reason). 

thanking the lord while losing your mind… nothing patrick does in any of his songs is unintentional. to me the entire chorus itself feels like a musical panic attack.

lyricgenuis also brings up an excellent point with i thought i loved you but it was just how you looked in the light. It’s kind of a regret sentence. it could mean a lover, someone he had glorified until he actually got to know them (gee, i do get that) or it could be his outlook on death and his suicide attempt in general. He thought that dying would be an escape, but in another light, looking back later, he can see it was not the right choice after all.

The second verse goes: 

“The road outside my house

 Is paved with good intentions

hired a construction crew 

cause’ its hell on the engine”

This entire verse is telling us this: pete is trying his very best to live, to get outside his house, to wade through the massive depressive slump and his view on how he just messes everything up, but no matter what he does, nothing works and he hurts everyone else (‘it’s hell on the engine’). Hes saying that his best is never good enough because whenever people try to help him- when he tries to help himself- it only backfires. The prechorus goes like this:

“And you are the dreamer

And we are the dream

i could write it better than you ever felt it”

i feel like everyones dreamed of being famous at some point of time. I know i have. I still want to be famous. Its the dream, i guess, being credited for accomplishments. We all want validation (how sad is that?) but these two lines, you are the dreamer and we are the dream is kind of like saying dreams can come true, because look at me, im living it. 

as for ‘i could write it better than you ever felt it’ lyricgenius does have a pretty decent explanation. it could ALSO, HOWEVER, mean not being able to put a name to things, but even if you feel numb inside, you can write it down. i for one have an entire moleskine filled with potential song lyrics and poetry, and every single line is something ive felt. 

I think that, excluding the chorus, my favorite verse in this song would have to be the one right after the chorus.

“My words are my faith, to hell with our good name

Remix of your guts, your insides x-rayed

and one day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster

We’re a bull, your ears are just a china shop”

lyrical GOLD

I cant even decide which one i want to go through first so lets just start at the top. fall out boy was never known for being good; they were known for being different, weird, emo. ‘my words are my faith’ call to mind the mention of religion, something of which has been a controversial topic pretty much the entire time humans have been alive. he will fight to keep his ‘religion’ alive, even if it sours his name. And pete has spent his whole life writing; hes pretty much dedicated himself to this band, so it wont take much for him to throw away his name to keep it (perhaps this is linked to the best buy incident because he doesnt care anymore). 

Remix of your guts could mean someone changing the meaning of something you’ve poured your heart and soul into. your insides x-rayed is interpreted to mean being overanalyzed so much that the orignal meaning is lost (rip im doing that right now arent i) but honestly when i heard this line the first thing i thought of was that one time pete got his heart x rayed to give to his girlfriend, which was truly peak pete wentz. i dont think its correlated with the song but it would definitely be interesting

One day we’ll get nostalgic for disaster again its that LOOKING BACK. im a fucking sucker for nostalgia. Id get high on it if i could. Im so stuck in the past, but im trying to move on. Nostalgic for disaster,.. he probably misses the van days. those were definitely a disaster, but he can look back and go hey, that was one of the highlights of my life. 

We’re a bull and your ears are just a china shop calls back to the song’s second verse again-- it’s similar to hired a construction crew, 'cause’ it’s hell on the engine. It recalls the phrase a bull in a china shop which comes to mean ‘a clumsy person’. ‘a clumsy person breaking things’. He’s using a generalization (which I actually notice he does a lot, it takes the pressure off something being personal, it’s a tactic of YEP, YOU GUESSED IT, AVOIDANCE) to say that he will ruin everything he does, and that could translate into the listeners eventually, as well. 

The second prechorus of the song also ends with ‘I could write it better than you ever felt it’ but the first line is different. It goes:

“Sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills”

This is so clearly influenced by the Best Buy Incident. You can choose to live, to take a chance, or you can take the pills and take the fast way out. This could also mean taking a break from medication (I’m pretty sure pete went off his meds for some time). By going off his medication in order to feel things (sometimes we take chances) it could harm him, but he’d rather do that than take the pills. 

Halfway through this essay i have come to the realization that im writing in a really light tone and it could be taken as im joking about this situation and for the record i am not joking about any of it, i am very serious, pete attempting to commit suicide was terrible and mental health is not something to joke about. i understand the weight of what happened and im not trying to make light of it im just trying to analyze how this event impacted his work- specifically this song in particular- and i just want it known that i dont take suicide lightly and while the mood of this is supposed to be analytical and easy to read, im not trying to be casual about any of it. ok thanks for reading this interlude 

anyway the first verse, the intro, is actually really hard to hear the words in the song because patrick does not enunciate at ALL and even though i know the lyrics i still cant tell what hes saying lol but anyway the first verse goes like this:

“It’s all a game of this or that, now versus then,

Better off against worse for wear

And youre someone who knows someone who knows someone

i once knew

and i just want to be a part of this”

The first line here i believe correlates to the pressure that pete felt as the frontman of fall out boy; their entire goal AS fall out boy was to take something current and differentiate it with a spin. often the fans would complain that the sound had changed (im looking at you, everyone who hated mania, i am glaring, mania is my musical wife) and often their new sound would be compared to the old sound, mostly by fans who didnt like anything after take this to your grave- thus, ‘now versus then’. ‘This or that’ could also relate to this but furthermore i think its the choices and sacrifices pete made as the frontman. Im not going to go into specifics but uhhh yeah.‘Better off against worse for wear’ makes me think of mcr’s set at wwwy fest when they dressed up super old as a stab at nostalgia.,, perhaps here pete is saying that the fans would rather them have their older sound and be less mentally stable rather than doing better off with something new.

‘And youre someone who knows someone who knows someone i once knew’ im not sure this is completely relevent and slash or connected with the previous part of the verse but its definitely connected with the next line : “and i just want to be a part of this”. again connecting it to sickly sweet nostalgia. Maybe its about him himself. He thought he knew himself five years ago maybe but now he doesnt, and he sort of wants that back, when he was freer, and now here he is in a best buy parking lot, overdosing on ativan. 

I think the only thing that i have left on this is the second half of verse two (fuck, this is what i get for doing this song out of order over the span of four days) so um:

“I love you in the same way, there’s a chapel in a hospital, 

One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door”

This might be the second part most linked to the best buy incident because it feels especially morbid, the idea of a chapel in a hospital, waiting for the people who are already dead. ‘One foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door’ sort of illustrates someone who is ready to escape at a moment’s notice, someone who is preparing for the worst. it sort of reflects the feeling of waiting for someone to die. Chapel in a hospital definitely plays into the ‘waiting for someone to die’ factor. when you’re holding your breath to make sure your best friend in the world is still alive… fuck. I cant even imagine what that feels like. I’d also be preparing for the worst. 

The bridge to this song is interesting. It’s just the main chorus of the original Hallelujah but still in the key of D, and it has a slightly faster tempo than the original. And, of course, patrick is singing it. It gives the feeling of a climax, a deciding factor. given the fact that its the bridge and the whole point of a bridge is to make the turning point of a song, i guess that kind of makes sense, but it feels even more like you’re holding your breath with anticipation and the cusp of regret. 

anyway this song is just really interesting and there are. so many different ways to take the words of pete wentz. i should make a lyricgenius account. 

[bracketsoffear]

CHARACTER PROPAGANDA DUMP

John Hunger: John comprehended eternity, become frustrated with the limits of existence, and had a massive existential crisis that he spread to his entire dimension. He converted his dimension into an all-devouring mass of void that consumes and merges with entire worlds to "become bigger than existence" and thus transcend it. Icarus: double-dipped Vast by flying too close to the sun (love) and then being consumed by the sea (fear). Jean Jacket's horror does come from its size, but more from its FEEDING habits (and its relationship to the film's themes of watching/being watched, which is Eye). Space Core: went insane and consequently talks about nothing but how much he loves space and wants to go to space. After getting to space, according to dummied out voicelines, he wants to return to Earth because "It's too big." Consumed by love of the Vast and subsequently succumbs to the fear of the infinite void. Balloony is not unsettling in a Vast way, he's creepy in a Stranger "that inanimate object shouldn't have a face" way. Joy Wang: another existential crisis, this time from seeing all of the multiverse all at once. Had a breakdown over the insignificance of everything (which she tries to convince her mother of throughout the film) and thus fell into nihilism and created a literal Everything Bagel--a black hole made of literally everything which she seeks to commit suicide in. Rose's angst comes from communication failure, alcoholism, and Knowing (or lack thereof), which is a whole 'nother beast. Moana: has an entire song about how she is called to the ocean (specifically "the line where the sky meets the sea") no matter how much she tries to avoid it, then immediately afterward almost drowns. The ocean is a character in her movie and it is bound to her (metaphorically). She also almost drowns AGAIN in a storm for good measure. Admittedly, neither member of her bracket is that good at the "spreading fear" part, BUT Carl is not drawn to the sky itself so much as the general idea of exploring, which is arguably more Hunt. He wants to go to and land at a specific place (Paradise Falls), and flying the house there was just a means to an end. ANTI-PROPAGANDA:

Pete Mitchell: are we really going to let the military propaganda Tom Hanks movie win? On this website? Aang: THE FACT THAT HE IS AN AIRBENDER DOES NOT MAKE HIM VAST! He has no Vast swag at all! His Vast-iest moment came from him teaming up with the Ocean Spirit, who was doing all the Vast work!

.

[ameliarating]

I’ve been seeing a lot of dissatisfaction with the way the VegasPete storyline wraps up with Vegas declaring Pete to no longer be his pet but his most important person. And I get it. I’m not satisfied either! It’s frustrating to see a deliciously dark and complicated and kinky seemingly end on a note of, well, the kink is in the past! We’re healthy now and that means we’re vanilla!

So on a story level, yes, I’m not a fan. But on a character level, I actually think it’s doing something very important. This isn’t both of them saying what they intend. This is what Vegas is saying what he intends. We’ve actually already heard from Pete about what he wants, about what it means for him to follow his heart, about what he needs from Vegas.

Pete is hungry. Pete needs his owner to feed him. 

So what’s happening here - what’s with the mismatch? 

Obviously, they can’t carry on the way their relationship started. There’s no way the safehouse dynamic can or should be replicated - Vegas forcing ownership on Pete, isolating him, and keeping him captive. (Not that I’m complaining about that part of the story...)

Pete tried to commit suicide-by-Vegas over that.

Vegas tried to commit suicide-by-Pete over that.

In order to move on, what they need, though, actually mirrors the only act of consensual kink we see from them - when Pete hands Vegas the rope. 

Vegas still needs Pete to hand him the rope. And we can (and should!) make as many jokes as we want about dogs bringing their leashes over to their owners when it’s time for walks, but there’s more to it than that. Someone who is just a pet does not need to declare themselves to be one. Only an autonomous human being is able to consent to that. It’s not like the hedgehogs ever did. 

On the other hand, someone who is not a pet at all also doesn’t need to declare themselves to be one because that’s just nonsensical. 

What the story needs to demonstrate, in order to imagine a continued relationship between those two, is Pete choosing to belong to Vegas in all the messiness and power dynamics that implies and Vegas refusing some of the power he had earlier taken and retreating from some of the lines he had crossed.

So looking at Vegas’s declaration not as unilateral but as a continuation of Pete’s own choice by the pool, it’s possible to get a view of who they’re going to be together that neither turns away from the darkness and kink of how they started nor attempts to replicate it.

[maryvioletique7708]

Incorrect quotes 3 (rip)

Harry Osborn: *literally does anything in his passion*

Norman Osborn:"Useless."

Harry Osborn: *tries to do anything for Norman's liking*

Norman Osborn: "Useless."

Harry Osborn: *Tries committing Suicide*

Norman Osborn: "Committing Suicide is for the Useless."

____________________________________

*Peter 1 being held Captive by venom (Pt. 1)*

Peter 1 panicking:"HELP, HELP ME!!!"

The others Reaction:

His Friends mainly: *Tries finding solution*

Tasm 2 Peter Shock: "Oh sh*t."

Tasm 2 Harry Oblivious: "How did that dumb little sh*t got himself in that situation."

Raimi Harry: "I'll die again with Dignity."

Raimi Peter with a portable Microphone and speaker:

*Inhales*

*Exhales*

"DON'T TOUCH HIM-"

________________________________________

*Context: Msm Harry 'attempt' Tssm Norman to 'Apologies' *

TSSM Norman: "Tch, Why would I Apologies? I'd Never."

Msm Harry having the guts:"What if you're company was down graded because of your Employees, Are you going to Apologies to them for being this way?"

Other Harry's: *Surprised, Shock, and Stunned*

TSSM Harry: *Is Terrified*

Msm Harry:"......" *sweats*

Tssm Norman: "..................... >:("

Also Msm Harry: *Starts Running*

Also TSSM Norman: *Chases Him*

___________________________________________

Peter Parker: "Siri, how to say Seal in French?"

Siri: "Phoque."

Peter Parker Nodding: "Phoque...."

Also Peter Parker Pointing to Harry: "Zis is a Cute Baby Phoque."

Also Peter Parker Pointing to Norman:"Vith his Ugly Mother Phoquer-"

_______________________________________

Tasm2 Harry in da verge of emo-tions : "I'm going to Jump!"

Raimi Harry with a Megaphone: "Do a Flip!"

_______________________________________

Raimi Norman to Harry: "If You can sold your Soul."

Raimi Norman: "I did and look at me,"

Green Goblin: "I'm Fine. :)"

_______________________________________

Tasm Harry trying to be mean to Peter 1

Peter 1 oblivious and comforting him: "Ur my Fren now, let's eat soft Taco's Together. :3"

Tasm Harry:

<:'3

______________________________________

Peter 1 friending some of the people he just met in the Multiverse with touching

MCU Harry: "Pete, you can't just go around here and touch people just to friend everyone."

Peter 1 touches Harry

MCU Harry being confused

Peter 1: *Inhales*

"Boyfren :3"

MCU Harry: :///U?????

____________________________________________

Peter 1 looking determined: "So what if the person who possessed a sparkling charm was a Man? So What?!"

MCU Harry grinning: "So you're telling me that you found out your bi after giving me a quick kiss in the cheek?"

Peter 1:".....

✨Yes."✨

______________________________________________

Msm Peter: "Do you roast your own dad besides that Norman?"

Msm Harry: "What?, Noooo, I totally don't."

Also Msm Harry:

______________________________________________

MCU Flash in his Emo Phase: "Welcome to Downtown Coolsville."

_____________________________________________

(SFW)

Raimi Harry: "Your eyes are like the Ocean."

Tasm2 Harry: "Because I'm deep and Mysterious?"

Raimi Harry: "No because you're Salty and people are afraid of you."

___________________________________________

(???)

Peter 3: "Your Eyes remind me of the Ocean."

Tasm2 Harry: "Because I'm deep and Mysterious?"

Peter 3: "Yes, and I would like to take a dip on you-"

[forensicated]

TRIGGER WARNING: Depiction of attempted suicide.

The final episode of series 21, and also where I'm taking a break for Christmas!

Smiffina Episodes - Episode 377

Last episode Smithy was left with a huge decision to make - could he follow Louise into Witness Protection so they could be together and leave Gina everything behind?

Smithy and Gina are out on a call to assist Leela and Roger. They're about to break in to gain access, but Smithy finds and open window and they get in that way instead, dealing with a lady who is very shaken after an assault.

Later, Gina realises that Smithy is in a world of his own and she questions him what is wrong. He confesses he saw Louise the night before. Smithy blurts out that she's going into witness protection and Gina realises it would be to say goodbye and apologises for being sharp before Smithy mumbles a confession that she's asked him to go with her and he told her that he'd think about it. "WHAT?!" Gina shouts, getting in the car. "You've worked your socks off to get where you are now!" "Yeah, and I've sacrifced every relationship I've ever had to do it!"

During his shift, Smithy has to deal with the wife of a builder who commited suicide three months earlier. He was the builder who worked for the landlord of the assault victims house but she never paid him for his work on her house or the houses in her portfolio. Broken at having to go bankrupt and lose his business, he commited suicide. His son, a troubled youth, blames the landlord for his fathers death. The landlord lived at the house before the victim and the son assaulted her thinking that she was the one who had caused it all to happen. His mother told him that she didn't live there anymore and so he went to take the landlord hostage after a meeting to 'talk about what had happened', dragging her to where his father commited suicide. Unable to go through with it once the police arrive, the son throws the landlord at Smithy's feet before sitting on the edge of the bridge himself. Smithy tries to talk him down and it doesn't work, the son tries to jump - and Smithy catches his hand just in time, clinging to him.

He struggles with the protesting Ryan who wants him to let go and could almost have gone over the edge himself given his feet are off the ground but, with Rogers help, he manages to wrestle Ryan back over onto the bridge to safety.

After a hell of a shift he goes to see Louise. She makes him a tea and has to ask if he takes sugar. "I can't believe we don't know little things like that about each other when we know so much else." he smiles before his tone changes. "You're going to be in more danger if I come with you." he tells her before suggesting that she doesn't testify against Pete and they just ran away instead. Louise tells him if she doesn't testify then the case against Pete collapses and he'd get off. She's got 3 weeks until she has to give her statement against Pete. "So that's what we've got..." he says softly and tells her they need to make the most from every second that they have left to be together.

Slight heads up for the next series, in episode 380 Gina leaves for Australia for 6 weeks right before Smithy needs her the most and so will be missing until Episode 394.

This is it for approx 4 weeks until December is over and done with recap wise. I know it's early but Merry Christmas! Hope 2024 is kind to you!

[zhaozi]

analysis of vegaspete and kinnporsche - part 1 (vegaspete edition)

I'm going to jump on Juul's post about the discrepancies in trust and honesty between kinn and porsche's relationship in comparison to vegas and pete's relationship; but first I just want to make a disclosure because I always get asks about it when I post even a vaguely negative statement about kinn. I hate him as a character. He is little more than a spoiled brat who has never been told no and that's probably why he kidnapped someone to be a bodyguard instead of playing nicely with the ones he had at home.

The intent of this post isn't to convince you that vegas and pete are the relationship we should be aiming for, just that kinn and porsche are also definitely not. This is a show about the mafia, there was always going to be morality that ranged from black to grey but that doesn't mean you should accept less than you're worth in a relationship.A bit of background;I have worked in a professional kink club, I have experience with criminal families, and i've also dated a man who didn't like to be told no.

vegas & pete

vegas never intended to be in any sort of relationship with pete from the get go. he caught pete snooping in his house, and as is the way it goes, he punished pete. this is non-negotiable. a 'crime' was committed, a punishment must be sought. he didn't go into this punishment with sexual intent of any kind. to vegas, it was just another day on the job. bodily harm sprinkled with the mental anguish of mixing his grandma into the situation. in terms of criminal families, he did the right thing by their rules/law/policies/code of conduct whichever phrase you want to use.

his interest piques because pete is so resilient. he expected a level of defiance because all bodyguards are taught to withstand violence, otherwise you'd be useless if captured but pete has more than that, he has a sheer determination to thrive under torture because as we later learned, he doesn't care if he lives or dies. then gun comes in a beats vegas while pete's watching. i can only assume that vegas was embarrassed by pete seeing this so wanted to make pete live to regret it, or maybe he just wanted company at the safehouse and who's better company than someone who can't leave.

pete was willing to go into the minor family house, he told kinn he was willing to be tortured and die to exonerate porsche. something he didn't need to do seen as kinn knew porsche was innocent. so he sent pete on a suicide mission because...? the only thing pete did not actively make the decision to do was go to the safehouse with vegas. one mark against vegas i guess?

at the safehouse, vegas loses control after interacting with his dad and hits pete with a belt. this is unsurprising, gun beats vegas because he wants power, so what does vegas do? hurt pete because he thinks this will help he regain power. upon realising his mistakes, he tries his best to 'fix' his sins by patching pete up, putting him on the bed, giving him antibiotics. we could argue that kissing someone to make them take tablets is assault so let's put vegas at -2 points. after this he starts opening himself up to pete, never lying to him, never omitting the truth, just telling it like it is. he sits on the floor, while pete lies on the bed, lowering himself in front of pete, opening up vulnerability. he listens to pete, not because he is forced to, but because he wants to.

vegas' pet dies and pete recognises that this isn't just a pet to vegas. it's a companion. he understands the grief of losing something you love and he knows what this means to vegas so he makes the decision to stay. he choses to let himself be the softness that vegas can take comfort in for those moments. vegas' shows self harm behaviours and pete tries to intervene. vegas thinks pete sees him as weak for self harming but pete is just worried about vegas. vegas crowds pete and tries to be intimidating but pete sees through it. pete sees vegas who is hurting. in order to distract from that, vegas tries to use sex. this is so unsurprising it borders on stereotypical. he sees hesitation in pete, so he tries to distance himself from it. he attempts to walk away. he is not trying to coerce pete. pete wholeheartedly, with full knowledge of what he is doing, consents to having sex with vegas. he hands vegas the ropes because he wants it, and he knows he is allowed to ask for it without fear of judgement or shame. in that moment pete would have been just as submissive and been restrained just as well by a pair of handcuffs made with paper where the submission is a mental task instead of a physical restriction of movement by rope. make no mistake, pete wanted that to happen.

the next morning vegas cooks for him because he wants to reward the vulnerability pete showed to him. then gun happens. ew. simultaneous to this, pete is having a moment in the room where he is questioning whether he wanted it and why he didn't say no. I have been through this, I've seen people go through it and you're probably assuming pete didn't want to have sex. it's probably more likely, read almost certain, that pete was embarrassed to admit he likes pain. pete thinks this is abnormal. he thinks he's wrong. he thinks he's given vegas a piece of information that could be used to ruin him.

i'm going to skip to the bar scene now. vegas worked with porsche, knowing his cousin could and would kill him for going against him, in order to see pete for a couple of seconds. he opened himself up to being shot by pete, he just wanted to see him. why? because he loves pete. he apologises again and again and again and will probably continue apologising until they both die. he needs to make it right. obviously he cant undo torture but this is once again par for the course for the transgression committed by pete when he snuck into the main families house. if pete chose to forgive that because he understands that's what the major and minor family do, then we have to accept that.

another time skip because if i keep analysing their relationship frame by frame, i will never finish writing this. pete shot vegas in the arm to stop two other bodyguards shooting him fatally. he did this to save vegas, not to hurt him. this should be obvious but i'm still going to say it. final point on vegas and pete; when pete is giving his speech and is saying about being a pet, and later vegas is like 'you're not my pet anymore' they don't mean 'i am/you are a literal animal that is not my equal'. if vegas and pete's dynamic is pet and master than so be it. replace it with any other name people call their subs and it would be the same. vegas is saying you don't have to be in a dynamic with me anymore if you don't like it while pete was saying i want to be in this dynamic, i need to be submissive to you. that's it. it's not that deep. replace it with any one of my favourites to use and it doesn't change a thing. vegas could call him baby, slave, slut, brat, dearest, honeybee, bootlicker, or poppet and it would still be the same. vegas and pete are just acknowledging their dynamic.

this got too long so kinnporsche will be in part two!

[crazybigredlove]

22nd July 2013

Dear Pete, 

Remember how you told me that I needed to start doing something different for exercise instead of relying solely on running for fitness? And I laughed at you and told you that were insane? After dating PT Patrick I vowed to never enter a gym again - falling off the treadmill at peak hour while your boyfriend watches doubled over in laughter can do that to a girl - but I took your advice and in the early hours of this morning I took myself off the street and into that little gym down the road that you've been begging me to go try with you for months. 

I need you to know that while I may have just accidentally made myself sound like a prostitute, I actually am not. I didn’t spend the night working the street. I was strolling down the street and then went into the gym. They are very different things. 

Overly nervous and with a burning desire to turn and run back out again, one of the coaches spotted me hopping anxiously from foot to foot from across the room and came right over. It was most likely the high heels and jeans at 6:30am that aroused his suspicions regarding my presence. In my defence I was going straight from there to breakfast and then into work. You know, because I am so committed to my job. 

"Hey, can I help you with anything?" It was a warm smile that greeted me and I relaxed as much as is possible around men with arms like that. "Hi, um, my friend, Peter, used to train here. I think his brother Christopher still does as well? Anyway, Pete has been trying to drag me in here for months so I thought I'd stick my head in and have a look." 

His face brightened. "You must be Olivia! Pete said you'd be here a few weeks ago. I'm Jimmy. We've been expecting you." A nervous laugh escaped. "Oh I don't like to be anywhere where people are expecting me. It makes it much too easy for stalkers. And the Police." My eyes were looking everywhere but at him. There was so much happening in the room. Men and women of all ages and sizes lifting things that had to weigh more than I did, possibly more than they did. It was daunting and intimidating and made me feel so insecure that all I wanted in the world was to curl up on the couch with a cupcake and a blanket till the insanity had passed. I mean, I'd probably peep through a gap from the safety of my hiding place to see what they were all up to, but in my 'seizing the day' outfit I looked better suited to going on an outing of high end shopping and latte drinking than hurling weights above my head. 

Again, in my defence, my plan was to go in early to work and get some extra writing done before the office was buzzing, and not to do my Arnie impersonation. 

Sensing my nerves he tried to reassure me. "Don't be too scared by what you see. Anyone can do this. Have you done anything like this before?" We both looked around us. "Me? No. I run. Slowly. Badly. It's not pretty and technically it's probably a waddle or at the very best a jog, but that's what I do. I run. Waddle. I'm prepared to negotiate and give you 'jog' as an apt description. I've never actually seen a sloth run, but I would hazard a guess it's similar to that. Either way, I do not throw bars with weights on them above my head." 

A woman who at her youngest couldn't be less than sixty was doing squats with weights so heavy I was sure they weighed more than she did and suddenly I felt every piece of chocolate, each croissant, and all the wine of the last few months dragging me down into the rubber matting and I realised exactly how useless my body was. 

"Pete seemed to think you'd be fine." He smiled reassuringly but I wasn't fooled. "So when are you coming back to give it a go?" 

"Um, well, it's hard to say. There should obviously always be some level of hesitation when you're planning on committing to something that equates to suicide..." Chuckling, he reached out and squeezed my arm. "I haven't lost anyone yet." Tried to ignore the tingling in my, ahem, and the desire to rip his clothes off. That man could fly to another universe and he still wouldn't lose me. I would follow him like a puppy dog all day, every day, wherever he would lead me. "Oh, well I feel much better knowing that you've thrown that challenge out into the universe but are prepared to catch me if I fall." 

Ten minutes later I left with a schedule, an appointment for this afternoon, and a document that stated I would commit to an entire month of this crossfit training three days a week. He mentioned something about 'clean eating'. I made it very clear to him that in my world any food that hasn't hit the floor is suitably “clean” and if he wanted to test me on that he wouldn't be seeing me again. That was the last he mentioned of it. I like people who accept their limitations. 

He said we were going to do snatches, jerks, and cleans. Was he hitting on me? 

This is my version of fighting the mundane so as to prevent boredom from stripping me of my will to live. 

Liv x 

[psychogirl87]

Tw attempted suicide depression and panic attacks

Ok but listen to me

JAMES POTTER THAT HAS PANIC ATTACKS AND ANXIETY

Cuz like u kno that one friend that’s will always help everyone else like got a nightmare ? No problem I’ll stay with you and make hot chocolate while you talk to me. Hurt. I’ll help and be careful next time. Need to talk. No problem I’m here I won’t judge or anything. Bad brake up. Let’s eat ice cream together and watch stupid movies.

But like will NEVER ask for help for themselves. That’s it. That’s James.

He would believe that he has to be strong no matter what has to help his friends and if not strong he can’t do that. It’s not like he has real problems anyway with Regulus and Sirius’s parents and Peters anxiety and Remus is a bloody fucking werewolf.

But what about a James that has nightmares of The Prank cuz it’s Snape yes but ~ still ~ and loosing the people he loves and then suddenly it’s too much.

Cuz he has school and his friends problems and quidditch and head boy and his nightmares that won’t let him sleep and his fear and he can’t tell his friends cuz he can’t be weak when they have their own problems and it’s too much.

Then come the panic attacks cuz he’s stressed and terrified and alone.

Then one day in his panic takes a bad turn. He just wants that felling that burning to go away from his arms but it won’t so he tries to cut it out and it doesn’t stop that feeling but gods it feels better.

And he starts to oversee things like why does Reg always insult him he’s such a bad boyfriend and he can’t help Sirius and he lets Remus gets hurt and Pete had a brake up and he couldn’t do anything. Gods he’s such a bad friend. He’s so useless. And so he gets depression.

And then the cuts start to get closer to his elbow pits and his arteries.

Then one day goes bad. Like worst day ever and it’s too much. So when everyones at lunch he writes everything he feels in the last year or so and how he can’t cope and how it’s too much.

That’s the day James Fleamont Potters cut’s to close.

When the Marauders enter their dorm they immediately kno something’s wrong. They don’t kno why but something’s wrong. And then Remus sees the note. They go to the bathroom and see James and immediately call madam Pomfrey and tell Regulus.

And give me the Marauders who can’t believe this how can they not realise that their friend their brother was so lost how no one could be that perfect and in their own self pity they realised how the one who they put all their problems on was so burdened. How close they came to losing him.

Give me how the Marauders all react to the note how they feel sitting next to the bed of their friend who tried to commit suicide how they react when he wakes up and have a long conversation.

And how nothing magically fixes itself how James still has bad days and relapses but knows that he has his friends to relay upon.

[hold-our-destiny]

so i thought since im not really writing much lately, id put a big list of all my ideas with brief summaries and if you guys wanted to see any in particular i could try to write a small oneshot of it.

1. basically peter having a long conversating with tony about the struggles of having his enhancements and explaining how he cant even kill himself because of his healing (like the scene from avengers)

2. Endgame au- “Hey peter? Its Tony- We did it. We won, pete- we won. Please Peter” then when peter’s in a coma he listens to a voicemail left by him before he left for the field trip (saved on insta) at some point peter says “i just wanted to be like you”

3. V slow (almost) major character death- three quick gunshots and a thump- peter worrying about tony’s head wound.

4. peter and harley falling in love (3k words) in tumblr drafts for harley

5. tony breaking down in the middle of a fight

6. Stony soulmate au- sharing scars.

7. “I didn’t think you cared about me”

8. Peter dragged underwater

9. Steve reading bucky’s journal in civil war

10. peter tries to help tony in siberia but gets hypothermia way more than tony does. after like a week steve comes back and tony screams at him cause peters in a coma, maybe steve finds him in the medbay

11. Parkner last words soulmate au

12. peter gets infected with anthrax

13.steve and peter kidnapped thing- peter bring scared of tony cause they used his tech against him

14. parkner hanahaki but with recovery and peter coughing up the rest of the flowers= whump. basically peter loves harley, passes out cause he can’t breathe and nearly dies, tells harley, and has to spend a week throwing up the rest of the flowers and being so tired he can’t stand

15. tony faking his death and peter and steve getting mad when they find out he’s alive

16. rhodey tony falling in love+ going to warrrr

17. okay so tony maybe almost dying and peter crying about it? 

18. peter gets kidnapped after an argument saying “i know- i know you’re mad but- p-please Mr stark- please help m-me, i’m sorry” cause he thinks tonys mad at him.

19. steve helping peter with harassers- drafts

20. tony whump being kidnapped and refusing to give info on spiderman and peter saves him with rhodey and gets shot but because of adrenaline they don’t realise until they’re outside and peter collapses

21. the scene where he gets shot from enola holmes but it’s irondad- peter has a bulletproof vest on and gets shot by a shotgun and tony thinks he’s dead cause he’s oncounscious from being thrown into a wall

22. okay so what about a situation where tony and peter are at a press event and peter gets shot. just imagine what tony would be saying as he catches him and slowly lowers him to the floor.“it’s okay, i gotcha. holy shit- you’re gunna be okay, kid. come on, eyes on me-“ keeping on talking until the medics get there, still not leaving the kids limp form. Peters eyes never leave him, glazed over but never closing.Of course, when he wakes up later, Tony will be a little teary eyed sat by his bed, probably making a joke about “god kid, you’re not supposed to outlive your old man” Peter not wanting to be alone when he dies

23. tony and peter on a mission and tony goes to find peter cause he’s not responding and he’s unconscious cause of poison- tetrodotoxin B

24. Peter put in a cage thing with bucky when hes triggered into being the winter soldier and being on comms with steve and the others.

25. 5 times tony and peter thought they lost each other and the one time they nearly did.

26. Degloving

27. parkner voicemail with peter almost dying, end is him coming home. season 2 ep 3 of 911

28. soulmates rhodyetony can feel each other’s pain. rhodey knowing tony’s alive in im1

29. parkner enemies to lovers only one bed nightmare

30. character study of the mcu, ned, sam, wanda, mj, bucky, 

31. harley thinking peter is dead, dealing with grief after a kidnapping 

32. Prompt 885: Stephen and Tony were together before Afghanistan. They hit a rough patch when Stephen has his accident and the Accords are proposed. The stress causes a huge fight where Tony tells Stephen to get out and never contact him again. Stephen is crushed and leaves for Kathmandu the next day, leaving only a voicemail saying goodbye and asking Tony to not blame himself. The general consensus is he committed suicide. CA:CW and DS happen, and Tony runs into a changed Stephen in Greenwich Village.

33. basically incredibles- steve’s taken by hydra and peter and tony are in a plane when hydra attacks them, tony’s telling them to abort and steve slowly realises he could lose his family, then it blows up and tony calls a suit to peter. peters got broken ribs and bruises because of moving around and tony sends out a signal to the team

34. peter nearly dies on a mission, tony’s yelling at him and he breaks down crying when he realises what could’ve happened

35. peter nearly gets kidnapped/ sold and he’s really shaken up about it he won’t leave harley or tony

36. peter and tony are kidnapped, peters conditioned and at one point the kidnapper gives him a truth serum and asks intimate questions/ he’s not conditioned and it’s either ask the questions or take the punishment- 

37. bucky getting back from hydra and coping? steve feeling sad, finding out bucky can feel his arm and tried to rip it out, tony helping? the scene in the woods with the trigger words and steve being there really sad and shit- also thinking pierce was steve

38. peter flinching during an argument

39. bucky having to pretend to be winter again in a mission

40. Peter telling tony about skip

41. ya know the hypothetical about hydra training bucky to give people guns incase they need to ‘execute’ the soldier, and him giving steve a guy.

42. peter being trapped in the soul stone when he gets snapped, him being the only one there because of his mutation or something (his soul was too strong to be broken for the time so it had to be contained) plus dissociation when he gets back

43. peter and bucky kidnapped together, tony and steve both worried as hell and having to work together and bond to get them back

44. soulmate mind talking- peter getting into trouble/kidnapping? make collection for soulmates

45. peter and tony are running from kidnappers, peter gets caught in a bear trap. maybe include steve.

[fandommix]

I want more than this

Pairing: Pete Davidson x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of sex, mentions of suicide, swearing

A/N: Whenever I’m feeling down I always watch Pete Davidson’s SNL skits. He’s such a good guy at heart I love him sm

Me and Pete have been friends longer than I can remember. He has always been there for me. He was there for me when my parents got divorced, he was there when me and my mom stopped talking, and he was there for me when...I tried to commit suicide.

Me and Pete have a friends with benefits relationship. It started when him and Arianna broke up. He was really upset and he proposed the idea. I didn’t mind because I had just gotten out of a relationship as well.

*

It was currently a Saturday afternoon. I was watching Netflix and then I received a call. I paused the show I was watching and looked who it was. It was none other than Pete. I started to smile at my phone and then I answered.

“Hey Pete what’s up?”

“Nothing much, can I come over babe?” He asked. I internally sighed. For the past month this is all we had done. We usually chill out roll a blunt together but lately he’s just been coming over to fuck.

“Yah sure! I’ll be ready when you get here.” I said. He chuckled and then hung up on me.

I love Pete. I’ve always had. Only one person knows this, my best friend and Pete’s best friend Colson. Colson had told me times and times to tell Pete the truth but I can’t. I know Pete will reject me. He dated Arianna freaking Grande! I’ll never be her.

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Shit! I wasn’t ready, I quickly take off my shirt and sweatpants.

I open the door and immediately Pete kisses me. He picks me up and closes the door. I think you could guess what happened after that.

*

I laid down on his chest. I look up at him and he was already asleep. I roll my eyes. I slowly pull away from him and put on some clean underwear and I find Pete’s tee shirt and put it on.

I go to the kitchen to make something for lunch. I was in the middle of making some eggs when I heard footsteps come towards me.

“Why did you leave? I missed you when I woke up” he said coming up from behind me and hugging me. I rolled my eyes. I can’t take this anymore. I love him so much but he only uses me for fucking sex.

I push him away. “What’s wrong? Y/n? Talk to me.”

“Pete just leave me alone.” I said. I started walking away but he grabbed my arm.

“What the fuck Pete let go of me!” I yelled.

“No you’re gonna tell me what the fuck is going on with you” he yelled back at me.

“I can’t do this anymore!! All you do is come over, fuck me, then leave and then the cycle continues!! I’m over it Pete. This thing we have, I want out!!” I yell at him.

“Y/n you agreed to this, you wanted this. What changed your mind?” He said acting hurt.

“Pete I just can’t do this anymore! I want more than this! I can’t keep being friends with benefits with you, it’s ruining me! Don’t you fucking understand? I’m in love with you!! I was in love with you when you were with Arianna, hell I’ve been in love with you ever since 11th grade you’re just too fucking dumb to ever realize. I can’t tell how many I’ve cried to Colson over the phone about how much I love you and how you’re only using me to get your mind off of Arianna.” I yelled at him.

Shit I can’t believe I said that. I quickly regret what I said. I looked away from him...tears started to form in my eyes. He grabbed my face gently and turned it so I could look at him. Here is comes, rejection. I held my breath and closed my eyes. I then felt something on my lips. I opened my eyes and Pete was kissing me. I started to kiss him back

This wasn’t like all the other times. It felt like he actually meant it. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We just held each other. We both pulled away breathless.

“Y/n, I love you too.” He said smiling.

The end :)

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[eppysboys]

Do you think the fandom takes it too far when they shit on Pete Best? Sure, he wasn't a very good drummer and didn't have the others' charisma but he seems like a nice person. The poor guy tried to commit suicide at the height of Beatlemania.

I haven't seen anything that bad, tbh? We're far more mean to the guys themselves :p

What people (including myself) have said and have a problem with is how he presents his 'they kicked me out suddenly and I don't know why/they were jealous' story despite how just about everyone around them knows and has said differently - but guess which narrative is the most well known? It's just a very bizarre way to go about selling his story (which he certainly has a right to do! I'm glad he's talked about his experiences!). It's his whole brand. @beatlepetebest. Every now and then he'll give a quote saying something like 'there's nothing to forgive' and 'they don't owe me anything', which unfortunately hasn't done much to soften the blow of all that myth making. “Oh, I don’t really know to this day. I was told they wanted a better drummer, I was anti-social, they didn’t like my hair, but it is still very much a gray area and the reasons don’t hold water.” I certainly have compassion for the guy, it's just frustrating to hear that story because it's just clearly an unfounded way to put down Ringo + John and Paul. If we're so concerned about fairness - how about all the great artists who will never get a fraction of the fame and money that he's gotten just solely from his sub-par drumming on the Anthology tracks? He's clearly a very nice man who has defintely had some amazing oppourtunities because of his lost weekend with the band, the frustration is about the unfortunate way he has spun the story.