#peter instead is just a dickhead

[sprinkleonthatcriticism]

I still think of this guy

And the many redesigns people did for him.

The one by Shey as well as the last one too is my favorite and I do not know who made the other ones since I just randomly found them on printrest.. so if ya know who made the other St peter(s), please comment below or send me an ask as LONG as you are fucking civil/polite about it.

I will absolutely ignore rude anons (and if they include the credits of the artist, then I'll edit this post and add them lmao)

But yeah, I do not wanna say they FIXED Vivzie's st peter design or they made it better because ya know that's disrespectful and I honestly don't wanna give credit to those who just made the design out of spite and to be rude and ugly instead of critical but I'll still credit them anyways even though I fucking hate those kinds of critics because they make us look bad and it just adds fuel to the Stans' tiny brains and beliefs that all critics are dickheads.

I just wanna say that I like that they made him old just like how St. Peter is suppose to be, he is meant to be old not white and a blonde.

And once again, I am NOT saying Vivziepop could not design St. Peter to look like that but she needs to at least add variety to her designs rather than making them thin and have bow ties.

And once again, Viv can design whatever character she wants but I just think there should be more variety when it comes to body shape, skin color, hair types as well as even outfit choices.. because just slapping a bowtie on a character and making them thin just feels wayy overused.

[zaynesdesimc]

Feel free to ignore this, but I saw you want Miguel requests soooo.

Platonic Miguel x teen spider reader. Preferably gn. And like, he sees his daughter in the reader or smth, idk how to explain it, but I think it would be cute to see it

ONGOSH THANK YOU I absolutely love this<33 I wrote this on my phone but Im honestly so hyped up I love father figure!miguel. I hope you don’t mind but I’m doing this in the form of headcanons.

Miguel O’Hara x teen!spider!Reader

-okay so your obviously one of the only people Miguel loves tolerates.

-your universe isn’t “home” to you, Miguel is. He’s like the father you never had and at first, the both of you absolutely detested one and other. In fact, Jessica was the one who convinced him to recruit you, way before Gwen or even Peter came into the picture.

-at first, he was stand-offish and a total dickhead to you, but slowly warmed up and began to humour you. He’d smirk at your horrible jokes and pretend to roll his eyes when you teased him.

-in fact, when you first laughed your ass off at one of his remarks, something in him knew that he’d do anything to protect you.

-he already lost one daughter, he wasn’t losing you.

-In all honesty, your relationship is very similar to Joel and Ellie from the Last of Us.

-you have inside jokes that even Lyla doesn’t understand, and she’s an AI.

-It takes all his strength to not snort when you make faces behind someone’s back, he knows you do it to make him laugh.

-he gives you tips on how to take care of yourself.

-a whole bottle of baby powder suddenly appears in your room in spider society. He says he knows nothing.

-lyla shows you the camera footage of him placing it on your bedside table.

-he’s close to tears when you specially make him empanadas. He’d been in a bad mood and when he went to his desk, there was a plate of empanadas with a post it note from you.

- “dont waste them I spent like two hoursmaking them for you”

-he scarfs them down of course.

-like all fathers, he can be strict sometimes, especially because you’re a kid. He doesn’t want you getting hurt. If you’re hurt he helps patch you up himself.

-“you fucking crazy? What were you thinking, trying to catch a car instead of dodging it?”

-your arguments are shushed by him shoving a spoon of soup into your mouth.

-“don’t waste it.” He says, “I spent some time making it while you were asleep.”

-he can’t pinpoint an exact moment from when he started seeing you as his daughter, but it’s probably from the time he got super protective around hobie.

-ain’t no kid coming near his daughter.

-almost snarls when hobie jokingly flirts with you.

-he subtly pushes hobie away when the guy walks behind you.

-you’re the only person other than lyla who can snark him and get away with it without an insult being jabbed at you.

-he’s hugged you a total of two times.

-the first was when you almost died, the second was when he almost died and you freaked out.

-you’d already lost your family, you could not lose him too.

“Miguel, get up.” You tearfully say to his sleeping form, “I can’t do this without you.”

-when he’d stirred, the first thing he saw was your shocked face and then you tackled him.

-he loves you. Like, a whole lot.

-he smiles at you when you walk around in his office, rambling about random stuff. He’s glad that you’re comfortable enough around him to stop masking your personality.

-his jokes are LAME. Like dad jokes are his jam and they’re just so bad.

-“why do sharks live in salt water? because pepper water makes them sneeze.” “Miguel PLEASE-”

-did I mention he’d probably die for you? Like fuck the universe(s) he’s not losing his baby daughter again.

-OOO IMAGINE THE BOTH OF YOU AS DRACULA AND MAVIS

-it’s weird but it’s funny.

-Gwen loses her shit when she sees you sitting next to him with your head on his shoulder.

[tawked]

tbh I feel like almost all problems with "civilian girlfriend" superhero characters would be resolved by simply having the civilian girlfriend become an active part of the superhero's superheroing, ala Dian Belmont.

She's been an independent detective who's perspective on cases leads to their resolution as often as anybody else's, she's been Sandman's get-away driver and in-the-field assistant, she's been an informant using her access to places he can't reach ie. the district attorney's office, and she even uses Wesley's kit to investigate independently of him toward the end of Sandman Mystery Theatre.

Sandman Mystery Theatre #62

To be totally real with you, I dislike maybe 90% of fem superhero love interest stories (while liking most of these characters, let me be clear) pre-2005 or so, because they so often use women to present a conflict between the comfortable domestic life the male superhero could have, and the call to superheroism. But that conflict feels suuuper arbitrary to me when you remember that women can like

do stuff lol.

This is really apparent when you consider that the majority of m/m and f/f love interests that began appearing in the mid-2000s make both characters extremely active, with most m/m pairings usually being superhero/superhero, while f/f pairings usually feature a more active feminist play on pre-existing m/f or queered familiar friend dynamics. Kate Kane's girlfriends are a hardboiled cop (kind of a Jim Gordon, do you see the vision?) and The Question respectivey, so we have superhero / action archetype and superhero / superhero. I don't think this is a queerness thing so much as modern writers realizing that characters are more interesting when they do stuff, instead of complaining about the characters who are allowed to do stuff doing that stuff, and because queerness was basically illegal until 2005 or so writers were allowed to innovate and introduce new characters instead of sticking with the old.

But a lot of historied m/f relationships in comics have the baggage of a sexist history weighing them down, imo, in this weird repetition of "I can't let Woman know about my secret life..." concept. It's hard to really innovate on that formula when the formula by design usually doesn't allow women to be pro-active in these stories, they need to be kept separate from the action or imperiled by the action for the superhero to both rescue and maintain his secret life status quo. I think that's why the Batman love interests we remember and care about are the supervillain femme fatales like Catwoman and Talia al Ghul, and not like... Shondra Kinsolving or, as much as I love her for being the actual progressive who calls out Bruce to his face lol, Vicki Vale - the villainesses are by design characters who are allowed to engage in the action of the genre.

I think 100% of the reason Lois Lane is such an iconic character and why she immediately transcended this, is that she was often presented as an extremely pro-active badass. She was a careerist at a time when careerist women were not portrayed (even Girl Investigators were usually written as getting their one big scoop and retiring to marry some dickhead at the office), she was an open humanist who often wasn't written as weak or stupid for having feelings, and most importantly, she was always right there in the shit. Sure yes okay, she'd be distressed into damselry a lot, especially in the 1930s - 1960s, but y'know,

Fleischer's Superman, 1941, one of the best Loises.

she was allowed to do things like run toward danger and shoot at aggressors at a time when most women in comics were kinda not at all that.

I think, and I mean this super politely, that's kinda why PS5 Spider-Man's Mary Jane (one of my fav characters in the genre actually) is sooort of just Lois Lane but on a more down-to-earth Marvel "we need to pay the goddamn bills Peter" scale, while Ultimate Spider-Man or Reimi Spider-Man's Mary Janes are, well, not that really lol (I also really like Reimi MJ, her whole arc with her struggling acting career is top).

And you can't even pull that Mary Jane was a kid in Ultimate and therefore entitled to be boring because Peter was dating Kitty Pryde at one point, because Bendis has a problem and needs to be stopped. So, it's not like more pro-active fem love interests weren't around. Those stories just weren't being given to 90% of the women and girls in that run and he had to borrow a girl who by design is always doing intersting shit because she's already a superhero.

Y'know what I mean?

I don't really like modern comics all that much but I gotta admit that women being written as "part of the team" and not "the obstruction I need to dodge so I can do superhero shit" is one of the best things modern comics have going on.

[thatonefandomnerd]

Snowball Fight

The Marauders and The Skittles find themselves in an unexpected snowball fight.

TW: Swearing

Word count: 891

I will gladly take suggestions and ideas of improvement, but other than that, enjoy :)

It was winter. Frost shielded every glass pane and snow covered the entirety of the ground. Regulus had a love-hate relationship with snow. He loved the tranquility of it, fascinated by the way it was so innocent and clean but could easily be tainted. The delicacy of each flake and how it danced in the wind but melted with a mere touch unless it was protected by the unity of others. He hated snow when Barty chucked a wet clump of it at his back.

"What the fuck, Barty?!" He exclaimed with a disgusted look. He already knew who threw the snowball, but confirmed it when he spun around to see the expected culprit with a wide and mischievous grin. Regulus then lent down to collect a ball of snow in his gloved hands and quickly spun to launch it directly at Barty's nose causing him to grunt and stumble backwards. Evan, who was next to Barty, burst out into fits of laughter at the sight of his friend's disgruntled face. This elicited a scoff from Barty as he swiped the cold sludge from his head and smirked as planted it onto Evan's hair. Dorcas and Pandora gasped. Regulus slapped a hand over his mouth. No one messed with Evan's hair. Not without consequences.

"You absolute dickhead, Crouch. What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" His voice was surprisingly calm but didn't lack venom.

"Oh shit" Barty's smirk faltered when he saw the utter distaste on Evan's face before he bolted it over towards and behind Dorcas and Pandora seeking any form of protection since he knew Evan wouldn't chuck a snowball at them without reason.

"Oh no you don't, you got yourself into this mess B, we're not getting you out of it" Dorcas chuckled and shoved Barty forward with surprising force. He groaned in annoyance at his sacrifice and was almost immediately met with two large snowballs being shoved down his coat and smudged into his hair. Barty's face dropped at the wet and frigid ice. He took at least ten seconds of dramatic reaction and thinking time before he messily launched a snowball towards Evan's direction. Although it didn't hit Evan. It went straight over his shoulder and to a group of passing people. The Marauders.

James, Sirius, Remus, Marlene and Lily (Peter was sick and Mary was adamant about not going out in the snow) were wandering down the path and heading to Hogsmead when a snowball came flying at them. Sirius's face acting as the perfect target. Regulus snickered and Barty's soggy and annoyed face immediately sprouted a grin at his successfully failed throw. Sirius turned to face The Skittles with an open jaw, enraged look.

"Which one of you gits threw that?" His tone was eerily steady although it was extremely clear he was fuming. Pandora pointed at Barty with an impish smile.

"Dora. What the fuck?!" Barty, being distracted due to his dramatized betrayal, was met with a third snowball to the face and Sirius's devilish smirk. Evan's jaw clenched. Only he (and his friends) were allowed to hit Barty. The older blonde twin pelted a couple snowballs directly at the Marauders, hitting James and Marlene instead of Sirius out of pettiness. That was the final straw; a full on snowball fight had begun. It was utter chaos. Marlene hit Evan. Evan hit James. James hit Dorcas. Dorcas hit Sirius and so on. Regulus wasn't overly keen on this, neither was Remus, Lily or Pandora, but they still fought. Especially the first two. Regulus was currently crouched down behind a rock, making a small pile of snowballs that he strategically threw. He was so focused on hitting Sirius (and occasionally Barty just to piss him off) that he hadn't realised that someone had also found salvage on the opposite side of the rock. With both backs to one and other, they unknowingly crept closer as they each rounded the small boulder. A stick snapped beneath the mysterious figure's shoe and Regulus dropped a snowball at the sound. They both spun and Regulus was met with a Gryffindor scarf, honey brown eyes and a pair of glasses. James. Shit.

"I surrender, don't hit me" James put his hands up with wide eyes although there was a almost unnoticeable smile that played on his lips at the proximity of the two.

"Why the fuck wouldn't I hit you?" Regulus asked incredulously although he was yet to chuck the snow at him which didn't go unnoticed by James.

"Becaaaaause, we can team up?" He himself sounded unsure at the idea, but took the chance since he hadn't been attacked.

"You've got to be shitting me, Potter" he scoffed softly and looked at him disbelievingly "I am this close to shoving snow down your trousers" he spat out.

James flushed at the mention of Regulus's hand being down his trousers, but brushed it off as he knew now was most definitely not the time to be thinking like that "And yet you haven't. Soooo, Sirius, Barty, Evan and Remus?" He offered with a smirk.

"Fucking smartass" he murmured sourly after a good few seconds "I'm only doing this because I want to get payback" he excused poorly as he turned to grab another snowball and chuck it discreetly at Barty's head. James grinned widely because he knew he had won Regulus over.

[ifyouknowmenahyoudontt]

i miss soft remus

i miss smart james and sirius

i miss lily

i miss peter being acknowledged as part of the group

i miss when regulus was only part of "sirius' sucky family"

i miss the marauderettes ( they will pry marlene mary and dorcas out of my cold dead hands ) instead of slytherin skittles

i miss lily

i miss the fics about the marauders just after a full moon taking care of each other

i miss the pranks on slytherins fics

i miss the fix it fics where they're older and look back on how they used to be and either cringe or laugh

i miss the godric's hollow before That Night fics

i miss lily

i miss the sirius and james being brothers fics

i miss the fics of sirius the night he was on the potters' doorstep

i miss the summers at the potters' fics

i miss lily

i miss when people knew that james and sirius were dickhead bullies but grew up to be great men

i miss when people talked about andromeda and alphard and all the other people who were important to sirius and cast off the black family tapestry

i miss lily

i miss the wolfstar fics where sirius told james and james tries his hardest to get them together

i miss the jily fics where lily walks into a room and the other three marauders start mocking how james talks about her when she's not around

i miss lily

i miss the fics where lily had to realize her friend was a death eater and james was there for her

i miss the fics where they all raise harry together

i miss lily

this is so insanely real. lily evans the woman that you see this loser fandom does not deserve you.

all of this.word for word.

[n1ghteeea]

hi feel free to ignore this but……..do you have any egon/egon-centric polybusters headcanons….perchance………..i absolutely adore your headcanons :)

Ohhh, you asked the right person, buddy 💪

Cw: cheesy at times. Also long. Sorry!!

Sometimes Egon goes days without rest and proper food / water intake due to hyperfocusing on his work and research. The guys obviously worry because he literally exhausts himself, and often isn’t able to tell that he physically needs to stop. So they have no choice but to take on the mission of dragging him out of the lab for his own sake. Words and logic never help because he easily fights them with his own, so they use something he isn’t so good at: affection 💪

They don’t even have to do much: one of them comes to him from the back, hugs him, rests their head on his shoulder and just says nice relaxing things in a soft tone - and it works every single time. He acts like he hates it, but he’s actually very thankful to them for not letting him crash out in the lab. This method might be a bit embarrassing, but hey - if it works, it works!!

Also sometimes Peter abuses it, but what did you expect, it’s Peter 🤷 Egon can never be mad anyway, not really.

Overall, I imagine that Egon isn’t very affectionate. Physical touch is definitely not his love language, but when he does feel like it, soft stuff works best on him. Teasing is fun and all, but gentle hugs, caresses and words melt him on spot (and the others know it all too well).

Another thing (super basic, sorry) is that Egon has low blood pressure and consequently constantly cold hands (projecting? maybe). During winter they get really, really bad, so whenever they have some relaxing group activities, for example, movie nights, Ray or Winston hold his hands in theirs to heat them up (they are human heaters, trust me on this one).

Another vision I have is that Egon is shortsighted and sometimes gets visually overwhelmed, especially after multiple days without proper rest. Basically, his eyes wander around uncontrollably, taking everything in, thinking, analysing and overwhelming his mind. In order to calm him down the guys take off his glasses, forcing him to only see their faces in close proximity, so his mind has no choice but to shut up (Ray came up with that in college when Egon would grade papers throughout the day and then stay in the lab till the dead of night).

Oh yes, college!! Based on an unconfirmed wiki trivia fact, I hc that when Ray, Peter and Egon met in university Egon was a physics instructor, even though they were the same age. Ray and him bonded over their love for supernatural and eventually became friends, starting with doing research together and growing closer with time. Peter, on the other hand, was a dickhead to Egon the entire semester he had to take physics bc he hated the class and was pissed off at the fact that Egon wanted him to study instead of barely passing (who was this guy, same age as him, telling him what to do??)

But with time all of them became friends and eventually roommates, working on their doctorates together 🫶

Some more random ideas:

I hc that Egon uses unscented soap and shampoo, but the others swear it smells like pistachio ice cream. Egon doesn’t believe them, but they genuinely love it.

Egon likes lukewarm showers, though switches to hot ones later in life when his body starts cramping with age. It gets especially bad during cold weather.

The guys almost never see him in the morning because he wakes up first, but sometimes they do get him to sleep in and morning Egon is their favourite sight in the world. They also share morning cuddles ☝️

Egon thinks ufology is a pseudoscience that focuses on something that clearly doesn’t have enough proof to be worth researching, but still watches UFO documentaries for fun with Ray.

He loves Frank Sinatra. Ppl always say he’s a classical music guy, but I think he’d love smooth jazz and even smooth 80’s music, too. Let him be fun!!

Egon is quite sensitive to food texture and whenever someone else cooks dinner they always take that into consideration, and either make something all of them can enjoy, or do a little portion of his safe food so he can be comfortable eating.

All the guys absolutely adore Egon’s science talk even if they have no idea what he’s talking about most of the time. Sometimes he randomly goes on rants and they just sit there and listen to him with lovestruck expressions.

Obligatory EGB hc: the guys ADORE his long hair. And if you’re unfamiliar, it’s LONG long. It reaches his shoulder blades. It’s longer than Janine’s. I imagine it would take him a while to start leaving it down around them just because after so many years of living alone and being a teacher and a mentor he’d mold himself into this ideal always-stoic version of himself , and it would definitely take a lot of time and effort for him to learn to be open and vulnerable again.

To sum up, Egon Spengler is a great guy who loves and is loved!!

[blooming-violets]

How does their conversation go 👁️__👁️. Would she be completely closed off? Would she be understanding but tell him off for how he treated her?

It might be hard because we (aka me) don't really know too much about this girl since it was all from Peter's POV so her character and her motives aren't as fully fleshed out as I would like but I will give it my best go!

He walked into the coffee shop early. He hadn't slept the night before. He'd spent his night getting stoned then tossing and turning until he finally gave up and got ready. For the first time in a few days, he actually showered, though, he had no clean clothes to change into afterwards which felt like it defeated the purpose.

He ordered them each their own coffee. Some how, through the fog in his mind, he still remembered her favorite drink.

Peter took a seat outside under the shaded umbrella of a table set in the back. He tapped his fingers anxiously against the cool metal. What was he supposed to say when he saw her? Did he jump straight into his rehearsed speech or let things unravel slowly? Did he offer to hug her as a greeting when she arrived?

No, no. That was too much.

Did he stand up? That seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do. Did he try to pull out her chair for her for was that a step too far?

Shit. She was here.

His heart rate spiked and his breath caught in his throat.

Peter jumped to his feet. It just felt like the natural thing to do. He felt like he needed to stand in her presence.

"Hi!" Too enthusiastic. Tone it down. "...Hi. Hey."

She gave him a stiff smile, eying the second drink at the table, "For me?"

He nodded, "Of course."

Peter slid the drink across the table, afraid to pick it up and hand it to her in case their fingers touched. He didn't want to cross any boundaries with her. He half expected for it to be thrown back in his face but, instead, she took it and sat down opposite him. He quickly scrambled into his chair after her.

Awkward silence settled around them.

He watched her sip her drink and desperately wished he had a cigarette to busy himself with. He didn't actually want the coffee sitting in front him. It was just something for him to fidget with.

"Your-"

"I'm-"

They both tried to break the silence at the same time.

Peter gave a half hearted laugh and shifted uncomfortably in his chair, "You go first."

"You're hair looks like shit," she spoke.

He let her comment sink in before a smile grew across his lips.

She wasn't wrong.

At least it was washed.

"Yeah, well, I said some really shitty things to my favorite hair dresser and treated her like shit so she rightfully left me to rot in my own filth."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "You never thought to find another hair dresser to deal with your hair problem?"

Peter shook his head, his voice softened, "There would never be anyone as good as her."

Now it was her turn to crack a smile.

She leaned back in her chair and he felt a sense of ease wash over him.

"You're an asshole, you know," she quipped.

Peter gave a sad grin and nodded, "I know. Trust me. I know."

She studied him carefully, watching his every micro expression, and finally licked her lips, coming up with a silent conclusion to her thoughts, "Come on." She stood up and started to walk away, turning over her shoulder to shout. "Hurry up! Follow me, dickhead."

He quickly did as he was told and hurried after her, abandoning his coffee on the table, "Where are we going? Are you bringing me somewhere to kill me? Because I'd let you if that's what you want."

He fell in step beside her, keeping her in his peripheral. She looked determined but calm.

"I'm going to cut that horrid mop on top of your head. I'll decide if I want to Sweeny Todd you when I'm through. You'll have to wait and see."

Peter looked down at his feet with a smile.

He was forgiven. Sort of. Almost. True forgiveness takes time but this was a start. She understood him better than anyone. She could read him with just a look. He had no doubt that she got everything she needed from him the moment she sat down and looked him over. She knew he was sorry. She knew he felt bad. She knew he regretted everything. She knew he was broken and hurting and grieving and lost.

She didn't need words to know the real him.

He wore his sorrow on his sleeve.

I wasn't really sure where I was going to take this when I started so I just let the vibes take over. I think this is more realistic between friends than some big speeches or giant confessions of apologies tbh. When I think back to fights I've had with my friends in past, we always "make up" by just being like "eh forget it i love you anyway even if youre a dick wanna come over and eat pizza with me??" and let things go. Esp with this particular story, it's not like he did anything too crazy besides take her for granted and publicly yell at her. I've screamed at a friend in middle of my high school parking lot before and we were besties again like the next week. I think that's just how real friendships go.

"You're an asshole." "I know." "Great, let's go hang out."

Sometimes it can just be that simple! Insult each other, laugh about it, and then move on. If you're close enough with someone, you should be able to read them without words and know exactly what they're thinking just from a look. If someone is sorry, they show it through body language and how they act. Sometimes words are just extra fluff.

[jadeylovesmarvelxo]

Kiss The Girl 🫶🌹

I don't need to tell you twice

All the ways hе can't suffice

If I could give you some advicе

I would leave with me tonight

Dove Cameron - Boyfriend

🫶💕

Hawkins is hosting a Valentine's dance, your boyfriend has treated you like shit yet again, Eddie decides he's had enough of your loser bf and plans to steal you away from him. 🌹

I had an ask from @itdobe-foggy that said to listen to Boyfriend by Dove Cameron and you telling Eddie about your loser ex. I did listen to it and thought of Eddie stealing you from your shitty loser boyfriend because he knows he could be a better boyfriend ❤️

Angst, fluff, minors shoo! 18+, Eddie is a little bit of a shit in this but we love him for it 🤭🌹

Valentines Day Fic 🌹🧸🫶💕

If you have any mini Valentines fic requests then send me an ask 🥰

🫶

Eddie hated Valentines, hated the hearts and the cheesy love songs, those god awful romantic movies and pretty much everything about it.

He was much more drawn to Halloween, unfortunately that was months away and he had to endure this hell instead. Normally he would be far far away from any Hawkins High dance but this was the Valentines Dance.

Most importantly you would be here. His secret crush. Eddie was God damn sure that he was falling hard for you. It was so easy, so easy to fall for your sweetness, you were beautiful inside and out, a true rare sweetheart in this shit hole of a town.

Eddie would ask you out in a heartbeat if it wasn't for your dickhead boyfriend. He really was a butthead, didn't know how to treat a princess like you.

But Eddie did.

He looks around at the decorations for the dance in distaste, pink was everywhere. Pink balloons, pink streamers, love spell punch, Valentines themed food and shitty cheesy music that made his ears bleed.

Still be would deal with all of this just to see you.

Gareth nudges him and he smiles-probably looking like a goofy idiot but he doesn't care as you walk in to the gym in a flowing red dress, lips painted cherry red and you're wearing heels that defy gravity.

Then Eddie notices how sad you look, the not so hidden red rimmed eyes and he fumes silently.

Hastily he grabs the wildflowers he picked for you from the field near the trailer, hopes they make you smile as he holds them out to you.

The beaming smile you give him makes his heart skip a beat "Eddie thank-you, you're so sweet" you kiss his cheek and Eddie feels his cheeks warm at the feel of your lips on his skin.

"Uh no problem sweetheart. Where's Peter?" he asks causally and you frown. The smile disappears from your lips and he kicks himself for asking, it's obvious you didn't want to talk about Peter.

"Around here somewhere. He decided talking to his oh so pretty chem partner was more important that accompanying his own girlfriend to the dance" you wave it off like it doesn't bother you but Eddie knows it does, hates the way your pretty eyes look so downcast.

"Why are you with him? Jesus h christ, I mean he's awful sweetheart'' you nod and look down, a sad expression on your face.

"I've told him it's over so many times but he's such an arrogant ass that he pays not attention, even when I avoid him it's like he makes it his mission to be the biggest jackass possible" Eddie listens to this, tries to hide his growing rage. Kinda wants to hit Peter right in his stupid face.

Not that he's much or a fighter. He prefers his battles strictly in the realms of D&d. Still you don't get labelled as the town freak, have assholes riling you up on the daily and trying to pick at you and not know how to fight dirty.

"He's a fucking dickhead princess, you could do so much better. Deserve the best. You could have anyone you wanted" he holds out his hand you squeeze it softly, give him a sweet smile.

"Anyone?" you repeat with an impish smile and there's a deep tension in the air, it wraps around the two of you. Eddie has felt this before but never knew if he should do anything about it.

Now? Well now he was going to steal you from your douchebag boyfriend and he couldn't give two fucks if Peter hated it. He had watched that asshole make you grow sadder week by week, heard the arguments in the hallways.

You deserved to be treated like a princess and Eddie was more than up for the task. If you wanted to be with him, then he was for damn sure going to be the best boyfriend possible.

"Anyone sweetheart, Peter doesn't deserve you, I could be your boyfriend and I'd be better than him in every fucking way" he says fiercely.

Eddie can see the longing in your eyes, the way his own heart skips several beats as to what happens next. He really wants to kiss you, instinctively he moves forward just as you do and he pulls you into his arms for a kiss that makes both of your heads spin, goofy smiles on your faces.

"Eddie Munson. If I didn't know any better I'd say you had a plan all along to steal me away from my shitty boyfriend" you tease him and he smirks.

"Is my plan working princess?'' you answer him with another kiss then take his hand to lead him somewhere more private.

🌹

"What the fuck!!''

Eddie peers up pissed off, his hand caressing your thighs, lips pressed to your neck and gives your boyfriend a dirty look as he grips your thighs gently and you hum in frustration, tug on his hair a little so he can continue.

Peter splutters as he takes in the scene, looks between you and Eddie who stares defiantly back at him.

"What the fuck... I heard moaning, I thought... he trails off as Eddie stands up and fixes your dress. Picks up his leather jacket and tucks you into it, admires how incredible you look in his clothes.

"Beautiful, he sighs then turns to Peter, do you fucking mind? We're busy. Oh and dickhead that noise that's so unusual to you is your girl enjoying herself... Must be such a rarity with you, I know"

You hide your smile and snuggle into Eddie who tugs you closer to him. He feels on top of the world.

"She's my girlfriend Munson" Peter rages, Eddie shakes his head and points to the door.

"Not anymore. Fuck off" he snaps and Peter must sense the irratation in Eddie's tone as he flees.

"Asshole you mutter, he'll be back in Rita's arms by Monday. Shit, maybe we should have went to yours Eddie"

He looks around the janitors closet and kisses your hair. "You were so insistent to come in here sweetheart. How can I say no to my princess?''

Fuck, he doesn't think he will ever be able to say no to you, your pout and pleading expression will be the death of him.

"Let's go to yours" you nod and take his hand leading him outside, your giggles filling the air.

This Valentines Day wasn't so bad Eddie muses, after all he pissed off a jackass, had a decent time and best of all he got the girl.

❤️

[ordinaryschmuck]

I feel like this illustrates another issue with this Spider-Goblin concept beyond the issues that most bring up: Peter isn't even the main bad guy. He's just Green Goblin's bitch.

Like, this isn't NECESSARILY a stupid idea, Peter being corrupted by Norman by him infecting him with the goblin serum, but having them work TOGETHER is lame. How cool would it be if after THESE scenes.:

Instead of ending there, Norman tries to recruit Pete, talks about the chaos they'll bring together...and then Peter punches a hole through Norman's stomach. Norman's shocked and questions why and Peter just laughs and goes "Sorry Normie! It's MY turn to play the big bad! " Steals his costume and weapons and fuses them with his own to make his Spider-Goblin stuff and THATS where the comic ends with him plotting his next move. That'd be WAY better.

I'm not one to say that anyone else could do better than a professional writer. At least, I don't WANT to be that kind of person. Because that kind of person gets you the dickhead who made Spider-Man: Lotus, and I think it's safe to say we ALL don't want to be like that.

WITH THAT SAID, I feel like ANYBODY could do better than this bullshit writer.

"You'll get a kick out of this...And then you'll die!"

What the fuck kind of nonsensical nonsense is that?

[asterekmess]

I want, do you  think of  Denton do think good or bad I find him very shady 

I think you're talking about Deaton, but excuse me if I'm mistaken. I have complicated feelings about Deaton, but in general...I hate his guts. \o/ Like, it's unfortunate that they really really leaned into the "Mysterious Cryptic Black Mentor" stereotype for him, and he didn't get nearly as much depth as they tried to IMPLY that he had? They just kept insinuating that he had this really fascinating and complex background and then refused to actually tell anyone what it was.

Based purely on what I've seen of deaton, versus what the creators might've intended for him, Deaton's a fucking asshole.

This man was fully aware that Scott had been bitten and become a werewolf, and played stupid about it for literal months. He knew how to help literally everyone in town and refused to do so on the basis of 'maintaining the balance' and not wanting to 'get involved'.

He had a way to contain werewolves, and yet let Scott run around town with zero control for two months. Leaving Stiles no choice but to handcuff his best friend and fear for the lives of his friends and family and scott himself. Leaving SCOTT to fear for the life of his girlfriend and DEREK to fear for the safety of his entire species because Scott was constantly in danger of exposing them. Speaking of Derek, he KNEW who derek was. He knew exactly what Derek was asking him about. He swore to protect and help Derek's family and derek himself, and then when faced with a kid who just lost his big sister and was going to the only person he thought might have answers, Deaton pretended he had no idea what the fuck derek was talking about and just hung him out to dry. THEN he shamed him for not trusting people! After LYING TO HIM

They could've stopped Peter so easily. Could've given Scott peace of mind while he learned to control his abilities. Deaton could've helped them understand what was going on and filled in the gaps in Derek's information. Could've played mediator with the hunters to protect Scott and Derek. Could've done his goddamn job. According to deaton himself, he was never retired. He was just refusing to participate until Scott "inspired" him. NEvermind that he left Scott at Peter and the hunters' mercy for months before that. And don't forget that he helped Scott plot out someone's murder and poisoned someone by replacing their cancer medication. Like. o.O Are you fuckin joking? And that's just the early seasons. Deaton's just. A dick. A self-righteous asshole who holds vital information over people's heads until he gets bored enough to involve himself in the world of those SO Far BElow HiM. He's an exposition distributor that tosses information like bread crumbs to the main characters, only when the writers want people to finally find things out. But instead of even having him LEARN things and then share them, he admits to having KNOWN IT ALL ALONG and just refusing to share. He's just as bad, if not worse, than people generally consider Peter to be. His character is just a jerk, my dude. Maybe he was done dirty by the writers, or hell maybe it was intentional. Maybe they meant for him to be a dickhead.

In short; Deaton bad.

[damadisangue]

They stop, Alex's thighs around his waist, his erection sunk so deep inside her that it drew a moan and a whimper from her. "Dr. Birkin must have gone mad." Wesker observes the shadows of two people outlined on the floor, stretching up to the space of the bathroom door. "Fifty. Do you realise? He requested fifty guinea pigs, all between the ages of twenty and forty. And where do I find them, according to him? Up my ass?" protests the first voice - male, slightly high-pitched; probably Peter from level 2.

"You two look alike: aren't you related to her, by any chance?" (1)

The creak of a tap being opened, the sound of running water. "Be thankful that he didn't ask you for a hundred: in the dark years when that little girl was alive he even broke an assistant's face just because he ran out of his favorite coconut snack from the vending machine." a second man replies to him - Carson, responsible for the development of the T-virus infected flora, level 3. Wesker remains still, Alex instead slides with her free hand downwards - grazes the space where he is inside her cunt, drawing a hiss from him when she presses, getting a look halfway between desire and annoyance. Alex curves one corner of her lips up towards him, tracing his abdomen with the palm of her hand - she lifts up, wrapping herself around him with her legs and more, stifling a murmur into his mouth. "And that other dickhead of yours? Holy shit, every time I see him I change the corridor. Good thing they transferred him to the Intelligence Division." "Doesn't seem like much luck to me, you know? At least he's spying on us right now." "There are no cameras in the bathroom, Peter." "Are you so sure about that?" “…oh, fuck.” Wesker puts his clenched fist on the wall, bows his head, resting his forehead on Alex's bare shoulder - he moves her skirt towards the back of the room with one foot, pushing his thumb and forefinger into her throat when she starts moving again, the wet sound from their bodies covered only by that of the air curtain towel. When they come they do it with their teeth sunk into each other.

Another masterpiece from the lovely @madbedlam

[d2kvirus]

Dickheads of the Month: October 2024

As it seems that there are people who say or do things that are remarkably dickheaded yet somehow people try to make excuses for them or pretend it never happened, here is a collection of some of the dickheaded actions we saw in the month of October 2024 to make sure that they are never forgotten.  

Looks like the Israeli Defence Force attempting to de-escalate by escalation (read: swing their murder boner from Palestine into Lebanon) worked exactly as planned - as by the end of the first day of invading Lebanon the skies over Tel Aviv were filled with missiles launched from Iran

...which led to the always-charming Tzipi Hotovely claiming that no country should tolerate 180 missiles being launched at civilians, which was a particularly odd claim as there are no reports of any missiles hitting civilian targets - and the minor detail of her being the ambassador for a country which has launched far more than that into Palestine for the past year

...which is surely not related to Keir Starmer flat-out lying about missiles being launched at civilian targets, when Haaretz stated that only military targets were hit. Which isn't even the strangest thing about Starmer's thundering about Israel being attacked while failing to mention Lebanon being attacked even once, as that award goes to his baffling insistence of always describing Israel with female pronouns, which he does not seem to do for other countries

...but at least Israel had Emma Barnett on their side, haranguing the Lebanese ambassador for the entire interview on BBC Radio 4's Today programme - which was in stark contrast to her interview with the Israeli ambassador the day before where she may as well have nipped outside to get a round of coffees while letting all manner of propaganda pass unchecked

...but luckily genocidal maniac Benjamin Netanyahu proposed a solution for Lebanon: have a civil war, or we'll kill you all. Definitely no more reasons to drag his ass into The Hague there...

...just like the Israeli Defence Force bombing al-Aqsa hospital courtyard that caused patients hooked to IVs to burn to death in the tents is a reason for people to stop parroting that Israel has the right to defend itself when they're bombing hospitals with arms provided by the West and causing civilians to burn to death

...yet somehow Sky News thought it was a good idea to use a still of Palestinians burning to death in a hospital courtyard the IDF had bombed to illustrate a story about Iranian missile strikes on Israel, but this is the same Sky News who solemnly read out the names of four IDF troops killed in a drone strike yet are using phrases like "six year-old lady" when describing children killed by the IDF

...but luckily David Lammy set us all straight by saying that describing Israel's ongoing genocide against Palestinians is not allowed because doing so trivialises other genocides, which suggests that in Lammy's mind you have to exterminate above a certain number of people before an ongoing genocide can be described as a genocide on Planet Centrist

...an opinion which Ryan Gidursky underlined when telling accusing Medhi Hassan of being a Hamas terrorist live on a CNN panel show and he hoped his pager was beeping, because wishing death on somebody live on TV while demonstrating you lack the intellect to differentiate Hamas and Hezbolah is a clear sign of a calm, rational and non-genocidal society

You would think that billionaire manchild Elon Musk might have had a moment of clarity when he found himself leaping around the stage like a dancing monkey at the Trump rally in Butler PA, but instead he described himself as "Dark MAGA" while somehow missing the fact that even Trump was giving him side-eye because his antics were so grating that even Trump was irritated by them

...though his mother Maye Musk is hardly any better, what with her actively encouraging people to try electoral fraud mere days after Tina Peters got a nine year sentence for electoral fraud

...swiftly followed by billionaire manchild Elon Musk demonstrating the apple doesn't fall far from the tree by committing his own electoral fraud by offering financial incentive for Trump supporters in swing states to sign a petition

...and then billionaire manchild Elon Musk showed us what a very smart business boy he is by unveiling the Cybertaxi...and promptly saw Tesla's share price drop by $60bn overnight

...and that's before billionaire manchild Elon Musk was found to once again claimed that he had a fully working robot at one of his events, which turned out to be a mechanical Turk, this time operated by a mocap performer hidden backstage

...and because billionaire manchild Elon Musk hadn't committed enough acts of election interference already, he started offering $1m to Pennsylvania voters to vote for Trump over Harris, which is frankly asking for people to take his money then vote Harris anyway

...this would be billionaire manchild Elon Musk who it emerged has been in regular contact with Vladimir Putin for the past two years. Suddenly makes Starlink being shut off before a Russian missile attack feel a little different, doesn't it?

...as well as the same billionaire manchild Elon Musk who the Washington Post revealed was working illegally in the US for a couple of years, making his talk of closing borders the worst kind of projection, because of course it does

...so of course billionaire manchild Elon Musk then did the favourite bit of all stupid people who know fuck all about politics and trotted out the "deH naHtSEes Wur sOshUliSTz!" line, which is an interesting take from somebody so reliant on government subsidies

...all while billionaire manchild Elon Musk continued using his PAC to pump out propaganda on Twitter under the guise of the account being run by the US Government, rather than some daft twunt from South Africa who doesn't even live in the US legally

...and on the subject of billionaire manchild Elon Musk and legality, it soon emerged he was engaging in both fraud and borderline people trafficking for his voter awareness program, when it emerged that people who didn't even know what materials they were handing out until they signed an NDA were loaded in the back of vans and driven around for hours to fuck knows where to get the word out for Trump - and if they didn't Musk would withhold their lodging payments as they hadn't met quotas

Though it seems that Jeff Bezos also wanted in on the billionaires sticking their noses in, blocking the Washington Post from endorsing Kamala Harris and immediately seeing the subscriber count dropping by 8% and 1/3 of the board resigning in protest

Just when you think that Keir Starmer's Labour Party couldn't get any worse if they tried, we have Liz Kendall suggest job coaches visit mental health wards to get the patients back into work all to get welfare costs down with extreme prejudice, and because that wasn't dystopian enough we have Wes Streeting claim that it's not dystopian to give jobseekers fat-burning Ozempic injections - and when you get past the casual assumption that all jobseekers must be fat and lazy you might find the complete coincidence that Novo Holdings, who are the main stakeholder in Ozempic, just so happened to bung Keir Starmer's Labour Party a donation right before the election

Because it is impossible for Keir Starmer to not lie, he prefixed his popularist blathering about the Falkland Islands being British by saying his uncle's ship was torpedoed during the Falklands War...which is remarkably easy to debunk as the only ship torpedoed during the entire conflict was the General Belgrano, while in reality HMS Antelope was sunk by the Royal Engineers bungling a bomb defusal and blowing a hole in the side of the ship which you'd think is something Starmer's uncle would remember, because otherwise the only conclusions to draw are either Starmer demonstrated his incompetence in Parliament or Starmer lied in Parliament

...and because unifying force for good Keir Starmer is capable of running a tight ship, he decided to boot Louise Haigh out of the cabinet for describing P&O Ferries as a rogue operator - meaning that, somehow, Starmer has found Grant Schapps is to the left of him on something

This month it was Tom Cleverley supporters who debunked nominative determinism with aplomb, as their attempts to game the vote so then-front runner Cleverley would face Robert Jenrick in the final round of the vote for the Tory leadership backfired when too many of them voted for Jenrick and eliminated Cleverley from the running altogether

Oh no, it seems that Marjorie Taylor Greene did not learn after her "Jewish space laser" moment and is now convinced that the Jews are to blame for Hurricane Helene as they control the weather now, which begs the question how somebody can claim there's no man-man climate change yet also claim people control the weather...

Noted couchfucker JD Vance thought it was a good idea to blurt out during the Vice Presidential debate that they agreed beforehand he wouldn't be factchecked during the debate. Which is presumably why he started babbling racist drivel about Haitian migrants during said debate - until he was factchecked, of course

Beacon of professionalism Laura Kuenssberg somehow managed to send her briefing notes for her upcoming interview with proven liar Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson to...proven liar Alexander Boris De Pfeffel Johnson, which was apparently a "mistake" but the number of people who believe that can be counted on Captain Hook's right hand

...yet when ITV interviewed proven liar Boris Johnson the main takeaway was him harrumphing that he shouldn't have apologised for the various Lockdown-breaking pissups held at 10 Downing Street which he was so aware of he regularly attended them

What a relief that Rachel Reeves is cracking down on that group of people who have had it far too easy for far too long: people who are paying the capped £2 bus fare to get to and from work, who will lose this privilege they have become far too comfortable with as fares are hiked to £3 - or, for centrist twerps claiming "It's just a quid", increased by 50% per journey

...a decision which Wes Streeting was quick to get his big margarine face in front of to claim that bus companies actually wanted to increase fares to £10, which is utter fucking bollocks

Temper tantrum-thrower Shai Davidai is at it once again, not only posting tweets harassing Columbia students (you know, the place he works) but also stalking the students in the library and posting photos of them online , which the last time I checked is a sentence which contains two very good reasons to fire his untenured ass. Probably why he got suspended, that...

Isn't it funny how the Metropolitan Police suddenly remembered that Chris Kaba was one of Europe's most feared criminals and leaked that information to the press as soon as Martyn Blake was found to have not cold bloodedly murdered Kaba in spite the evidence not matching Blake's testimony at all while Blake also trotted out the usual "I was fearing for my life" line that Metropolitan Police officers tend to use when they're on trial for the cold blooded murder of members of the public in a hail of gunfire

At long last people noticed Sasha Baron Cohen only ever had one "joke2 for his Borat persona, and that's being an Islamophobic turd - and they noticed a mere eighteen years after the first film when he went on Jimmy Fallon to do a bit about how Kazakhs would beat Kamala Harris to death for being a black woman who married a Jew, which was an interesting angle to take considering Kazakhstan doesn't have any issue whatsoever with inter-faith marriages. Now, who wants to guess which nation Sasha Baron Cohen has been aggressively and obnoxiously defending for the past year where inter-faith marriages are illegal? I'll give you a hint: it's the same one where the locals nearly stoned him to death when filming Bruno...

I'm sure that bonehead messiah "Tommy Robinson" forgetting to mention that he was going to be remanded in custody on the date of his gammon march was an innocent mistake, and definitely not him trying to dupe his coked-up dickhead following he was some kind of political prisoner after he handed himself in to police for violating the terms of his previous arrest which by complete coincidence he did a day before the aforementioned gammon march

Highest quality candidate Mike Amesbury demonstrated how committed Keir Starmer's Labour Party are to punching down by assaulting somebody in the street in full view of numerous cameras

It probably should have occurred to Asmongold that saying Palestinians are an "inferior culture" to justify the ongoing genocide that Israel is committing against them might come back to bite him, even after his pathetic "My bad..." nonpology. But it didn't, which is why his Twitch channel has been suspended

I'm sure that Joseph Mastroianni didn't intentionally commit a federal offence by stealing a political mailer from somebody's letterbox, stuffing it in his pocket and then replacing it with one of their own - and happen to be caught on camera while doing so, because that's what can happen when people have motion activated cameras in their doorbells these days

There's missing the point and then there's ITV going back to digitally alter footage of a contestant on one of their shows' pro-Palestine t-shirt due tot he usual performative outrage from the usual suspects - when that show is Big Brother

According to Robert F Kennedy Jr there's no reason to suggest that hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein is weird, because RFK Jr says that he hung out with Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby and he didn't turn out weird in any way...

Professional scam artist Logan Paul insists his shitty version of Lunchables doesn't contain mould, which came as news to the people who have opened his shitty version of Lunchables and found mould staring at them - and also noted scam artist Logan Paul for that matter, who tweeted he couldn't see mould in his shitty version of Lunchables after opening one of his shitty versions of Lunchables on stream and having mould staring back at him

...and let's not let MrBeast off the hook for his part in making these shitty versions of Lunchables, not least because he's been reported to the FBI for leaking group chats between his coworkers. Frankly, if I were KSI, I'd take the hint and keep my head down

According to Brianna Wu the literal Ku Klux Klan are better than pro-Palestine marches because the literal KK-fucking-K came to her college but "never openly called for violence" - which of course saw parking enthusiast Eve Barlow swoop into her mentions to thank her for her allyship, because you know you're mental when Eve Barlow is thanking you for being a fellow genocide-supporting cheerleader who sounds almost as hat stand as she does...

Waffling gargoyle Nigel Farage still hasn't had a single MP surgery in Clacton, but you know what he has set up? The residents of Clacton can pay to have a consultation with somebody who is not their elected Member of Parliament, which definitely does not need to Parliamentary Watchdog clamping tis jaws firmly around its most sensitive bits anytime soon

Perhaps people would believe Bill Maher was smarter than everyone else in the room if he didn't say things like how Chappell Roan would be thrown off a roof in Gaza for her support for Palestine, what with the IDF being documented throwing Palestinians off the few roofs they have left standing during their ongoing genocide...

Absurd amount of cuntishness from Dumbdumbjeez when he livestreamed (on Kick, natch) taking a homeless woman to a fancy dinner - and then leaving her with the bill

The latest stop on the Zachary Levi trainwreck tour saw him response to his friend Gavin Creel's death by posting an Instagram video claiming that he died from "turbo cancer" which he received when he had his Covid vaccine

Noted rapist Andrew Tate has found his latest in a long line of grifts as he's now selling his own crypto coin, something he angrily insisted he would never do on multiple occasions when the subject came up before. Now he just needs to answer the obvious question about how he's making money off this shit, given there's at least 800 people who Tate gave his fake currency to for free after emailing Coffezilla and calling him "gay" on Tate's instruction when Tate insisted that he totally wasn't bothered by Coffezilla investigating him...

Once again Triple H acted like a salty bitch when facing the mildest of pushback in a press conference, responding to a valid (and long overdue) question about how black wrestlers rarely (if ever) feature on WWE pay per views by saying (much like people watching WWE pay per views) he doesn't see colour - and that comment looked especially good a couple of weeks later where Carlito referred to Iyo Sky and Kairi Sane being "Chinese" in a backstage segment on an episode of Raw

Beanie-wearing testicle Tim Pool says he's stopping his shitty podcast to take care of his family. This would the the family he doesn't have, but I guess lying is easier than admitting it's a lot harder to continue churning out his shitty podcast when the Russian cheques dried up

Skinned ferret Tony Hinchcliffe managed the impossible: to do a remarkably racist "comedy" set at Trump's Riefenstahlic rally at Madison Square Garden that somehow bombed in front of an audience filled with racists so badly that the Trump campaign tried to claim they had no clue what he was going to say - a claim which would stand up to scrutiny if his entire routine wasn't typed into the teleprompter beforehand

Andrew Tate's Mini-Me Adin Ross aid $5000 to get the new Call of Duty a week early - and then whined on stream that he couldn't play the multiplayer, because it didn't occur to him that multiplayer servers are not switched on a week before a game's release

Sadly, we were reminded that GradeA UnderA existed - and we were reminded because they posed an antisemitic image to their Twitter, and when called out for using a patently antisemitic caricature defended themselves by saying it was a meme character, as if he posted a soyjack and not a caricature that has been used for years to negatively portray Jewish people that even an amoeba would know the connotations of

And finally registered sex offender Donald Trump debunked the mere notion that he's weird by getting so weirdly obsessed about the fact Kamala Harris once worked at McDonalds by having a branch of McDonalds close for an afternoon so he could have a photo-op where he demonstrated that he couldn't work the fries line without fucking it up terribly but calling it a "win" for some reason - which looked especially well for McDonalds when their share price nosedived and they were home to a widespread E.coli outbreak within 72 hours of Trump's photo stunt

...that would be registered sex offender Donald Trump whose campaign slogan is "Trump'll Fix It", which suggests nobody at Trump HQ knows how Google works

[ifyouknowmenahyoudontt]

canon sucks in the sense that there should be more characters of color than we can count on our fingers, more canonically queer characters, more disabled or neurodivergent characters. not everyone should be cishet, white, and neurotypical. ( and the "erm but actually dumbledore was gay and hermione was black!" bullshit doesn't satisfy this ) and i applaud the old fans for getting over the old faceclaims ( aaron taylor johnson, andrew garfield, ben barnes... i salute the many edits of them ) and the new age fandom for keeping up the poc headcanons!!

canon sucks in the sense that while we can have complex characters, morally grey leaning dark characters, those characters should not try to be slotted into "good or bad." those characters shouldn't have very brief redemptions that suddenly make them heroes and epic good guys after entire books of assholery and even bigotry. two guesses as to who i'm talking about here!

canon does not suck in the "my favorite character may have maybe a sentence of plot relevance doesn't get enough attention, so i'm going to ignore all the canon things that point to them being a bigot and instead woobify them and try to make them more important than they actually were" way.

like, fanon regulus black my ABHORRED. while he wasn't abused himself, was canonically the favorite of his parents because he aligned with their ideals, it's interesting to explore sirius' complicated thoughts on his little brother. one that many mistreated and abused older siblings have when it comes to their younger- could i have done more, could i have saved him, changed him, etc. but acting like regulus wouldn't have hated his guts and wanted sirius dead, literally became a death eater and fully agreed with voldemort's ideals?? did we read the same books?

and canon does not suck in the "i'm going to take these cool complex characters and dumb them down to a single personality trait or stereotype, and pretend they're not a complex person with flaws" way.

like, i love james and sirius, literally my favorite characters! they were not always the good guys. canonically, even if he turned out to be an exponentially worse person, they were the villains in someone's story. they used to be bullies, just for the sake of it. they used to be asshole teenage boys with big egos and privilege ( both coming from wealthy pureblood households ). and they don't have to use that privilege AGAINST anyone! they obviously wouldn't, both of them are considered "blood traitors" for a reason ( james marrying a muggleborn and sirius even associating with james and lily and remus ).

it's so much more interesting to explore how they would have been as privileged little dickheads in the 70s in the midst of war, rather than "sunshine himbo james" and "femboy twink sirius" ( or if we wanna go back to old fandom shit, "sexy, lady-killer, has fucked everyone and their mom sirius" ). i also just hate "big sexy strict alpha remus," i can stand him being sarcastic because it's funny but i can't with people who take away his shyness and kindness. give us quiet bookworm remus back PLEASSEEE

even peter, and i used to be a victim of this as well- THEY LIKED HIM! peter was a marauder, he was part of the group, he was their best friend too. i understand people who try to erase him altogether just out of hating him, but those who pretend that james, sirius, and remus didn't care for him are just wrong. it's okay to not like a character, but don't rewrite canon in a way that fully fucks up the story. peter's betrayal sucked from all angles, because he was their friend too.

and reading what you and multiple other people have said about lily is so right, she gets the "jealous straight girl that wants james but HATES REGULUS for stealing jamie!!" treatment, or is just cast out altogether. like, sorry, who did harry get his striking green eyes from? who brought him into the goddamn world? james sure as hell didn't do it alone, and last i checked, regulus was dead by then if we wanna be real about it.

this turned out to be an insane rant, SO sorry, but hp is my special interest and i LOVE the marauders era just as much as i love the golden trio era. they're interesting to explore as characters, ESPECIALLY james, in the same way a lot of people like rose quartz from steven universe? he's spoken about as this infamous, talented, really good dude who died protecting his wife and son and helped bring upon the savior of the wizarding world. but he was also like a huge asshole when he was in school, and harry probably would have hated to meet james and sirius from back then! but people dumb all of them down in the marauders era works just because we don't get explicit descriptions or tellings of what they were like. and it's so annoying!!

i strongly agree with this.

tbh regulus being one of the most popular character speaks a lot about this fandom. bigotry is a broad term and those who criticize JKR (rightfully tho) but go on again to do that to women? or the poc? hypocritical

and the fanon remus thing pisses me off so bad because the point of his character was that he was a soft and sensitive person contrasting with his “condition”!!!! he was human!!!!!!

i agree w this sm

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #655

Top Ten MCU Actors Who Could Join the New DCU

It feels like it’s been a big moment for superhero TV recently. Two new shows have just started based on both DC and Marvel characters – The Penguin and Agatha All Along, respectively – and there’s increased jibber-jabber about upcoming programmes too. Creature Commandos – the first proper, official, for-realsies production from James Gunn and Peter Safran’s new DCU – starts in December. And there’s been some interesting casting tittle-tattle about what’s probably the biggest show they’ve got on the docket, Green Lantern series Lanterns, which is going to feature both Hal Jordan and John Stewart.

We already know what one Green Lantern looks like, at least, thanks to paparazzi shots of Nathan Fillion as Guy Gardner on the set of next year’s Superman. But Gardner is always, really, the other Lantern; too much of a dickhead, and possessed of too terrible a hairdo, to really be considered the main event. Hal and John, on the other hand, could both be considered the “proper” Lantern, and so it’s going to be really interesting to see them share the screen in what appears to be a sort of buddy-space-cop crime drama.

Anyway the really interesting thing about all of this is the names apparently in the mix to play Hal. I think we already knew (or assumed) that Hal was going to be the older character, more of a mentor-type figure to a younger John, and this has been borne out in some of the actors they’ve either been looking at, talking to, or who’ve already turned the role down. These include Ewan McGregor, Chris Pine, Timothy Olyphant (who, of these names, would be my choice), and Josh Brolin. Now, three of these have already played comic book characters before; both McGregor and Pine are in prior DC films. But Brolin was, of course, an absolutely huge part of Avengers, playing interstellar bad guy Thanos across a number of films (if Brolin had taken the role, he’d have been not one but four characters in Marvel and DC: Thanos, Cable, Hal Jordan, and Jonah Hex – so maybe he thought it was a bit much).

If Thanos can cross the floor, so to speak, to take a major role in a DC show, then – of course – nothing’s off the table. Heimdall himself, Idris Elba, is also DC’s Bloodsport; and there have been a number of smaller-scale roles cast with actors who’ve had a foot in both ponds. I think Thanos being Green Lantern might have been the biggest deal, however; we may have to contend with everyone’s favourite emerald space cop being a major Star Wars character instead.

This has inspired my list this weekend, which is all about actors who’ve had (moderately) significant roles in the MCU, who could now jump ship and appear in a DCU production. I’ve done a few casting suggestion lists over the years, so I’ve tried not to repeat myself – as such I’ve avoided even speculating on truly major JLA-type roles, so there’s no “Chris Pratt for Batman!”-type stuff. Some of these I think would be truly excellent suggestions; others would just be amusing.

Have at it, Jim and Pete! Take your pick!

Pom Klementieff as Zatanna: Klementieff brings a certain other-worldliness to her roles; she always feels at a remove, can project a kind of oddness that’s either adorable and endearing (Mantis) or strange and threatening (Paris). I think this, plus her great comic timing and natural ability, would be perfect for backwards-talking magic-user Zatanna. And – hey – I kinda feel like magicians should be French, I don’t know why.

Edward Norton as Clayface: Norton is, I guess, only technically part of the MCU, but he still counts! He’s got a reputation as a super-serious actor; this would make him perfect to play Basil Karlo, a vain and fading actor who ends up becoming a shape-shifting goo man. He could play him like his character from Birdman, but, y’know, in clay. And he’s got form with CGI characters! Sort of! Anyway, it’d be funny.

Frank Grillo as Slade Wilson: Grillo was great as the super-gruff Crossbones in Winter Soldier and Civil War; he was tough but charismatic, and held his own against Captain America. He’s been public about wanting to carry on the role, despite being killed off, so perhaps jumping into DC waters would be cool. He looks the part for Slade, and can do the action stuff, and as the character is meant to be a bit older and more experienced, I think he’d bring a good sense of hard-earned wisdom to the role.

Dave Bautista as Dr. Will Magnus: I definitely think Bautista will pop up in the DCU. I’d like to see him in a role that was less physical; he’s a terrific actor, capable of bringing out humour, tragedy, and pathos. So it’d be good to see him as a scientist; there are plenty to choose from. Magnus is great because I guess he’s essentially a good guy, but also a bit morally dubious, and has a history of both mental health issues and slightly dodgy relationships with some of the robots he builds. So there’s lots there for Bautista to get his teeth into.

Sylvester Stallone as Wildcat: I don’t know what the plans are for the Justice Society, and obviously casting a guy in his seventies isn’t really going to allow you to make a decade’s worth of intense action movies. But Wildcat was a boxer before becoming a crimefighter; he’s tough, he’s a fighter, and (depending on continuity) trained Batman. The Society are usually presented as older anyway, the previous generation of heroes. Do I need to explain why Stallone is perfect for this role?

Benicio del Toro as Sinestro: Sinestro is, basically, a corrupt cop who really breaks bad – I wouldn’t be surprised if he cropped up Lanterns, as he’s really the big Green Lantern bad guy. Rather than making him a moustache-twirling British guy, I think having del Toro bring both a bit of the grit and strength he has in films such as Traffic, as well as the charm and humour he naturally possesses, would really make the character stand out.

Sam Rockwell as Ralph Dibney: I don’t know what their plans are for these characters, and maybe Rockwell’s too old if The Elongated Man is supposed to be a contemporary of a (presumably mid-thirties) Flash. But come on: a light-hearted, wisecracking detective who can also stretch his body? Don’t tell me his wouldn’t be a fantastic role for Rockwell. I’d want him front and centre of every Justic League film, though. Maybe they could also bring across Rachel Weisz as his wife Sue?

Jenny Agutter as Granny Goodness: Agutter has been really underused in the MCU; after Winter Soldier, I was hoping she’d keep popping up as a sort of British version of Nick Fury. So casting her entirely against type as an evil, cruel, vicious general and leader of the Female Furies, working for ultimate big-bad Darkseid, would be really cool. The only downside is Goodness is usually presented as a plus-sized woman, and it’d be a shame to lose some of that representation (Amanda Waller, for instance, has had a significant weight loss in recent years).

Jeff Goldblum as The Riddler: I’ve tried to limit both the number of former Guardians cast members and also the number of specifically Batman-related characters (sorry, Karen Gillan as Poison Ivy). But we’re back in Gotham for this utterly perfect casting. Goldblum is great at three things: appearing smart, projecting hidden darkness, and a wild eccentric charisma. Making the Riddler an older guy looking for a legacy – a would-be genius out to prove he’s smarter than everyone else one last time – would make him really different from both Jim Carrey’s utterly manic turn, and also Paul Dano’s weird serial killer (who, I’m sorry, is great, but is not the Riddler).

Samuel L. Jackson as Darkseid: is this on-the-nose? First base? I was basically thinking about the voice; who has the best voice for this? Well, to be honest, the answer is the sadly departed James Earl Jones, but Jackson also has a fantastic baritone. Also, if he were to appear in a more human guise, I like he image of a taciturn Jackson randomly appearing in someone’s front room to threaten or tempt them. Jackson is excellent at projecting menace, but also great at delivering elaborate soliloquies. And he’s very funny.

[ragingbookdragon]

“I don’t give a rat’s ass how badly you want me out of your business,” she griped, cocking her hands on her hips. “I am you mother and as long as I’m alive I’m going to be in your business making sure you’re doing alright.”

Tim’s expression pinched and he couldn’t help but cross his arms over his chest. “Me and the others had it under control.”

“Look me in my eyes and tell me that meta-humans running wild across Gotham City means you had it under control,” she argued, and he glanced at her, meeting her irritated gaze. “You are seventeen going on eighteen, Timothy Jackson Wayne, and while I’m comfortable letting you and your friends go around doing God knows what in other cities, when your ass is in Gotham City, you know damn well you’re supposed to check in and let me or your father know what you’re doing.” She accentuated her point by tipping her head towards the man leaning back against the desk who was merely watching.

“Dad,” he whined, trying to get him to help him out.

His father merely sipped the glass of water in his hand. “Nope, not getting involved.”

She started tapping her foot, a telltale sign that her annoyance was shifting into anger. “Timothy, you’re grou—”

Tim, in a last-ditch effort to save his hide, he pointed at his second eldest sibling and shouted, “Jason snuck Kyle into the manor last night whenever you were out with Damian and dad on the back porch! He left this morning when you were getting ready for work!”

Her eyes went wide, so did Jason’s as he spluttered, “W-what! No, the fuck I didn’t!”

She was already whirling on him. “Jason Peter Todd, did you sneak a boy into this house!”

“I—we—he—” Jason pointed at Dick. “Dickhead was the one who broke the Ming Dynasty vase in the hallway! I saw it!”

“ME?!” Dick shouted, already turning on Cassandra. “Cass is the one who broke the refrigerator after she punched the panel ‘cause it wouldn’t work!”

“Damian skipped school last week,” she countered, glaring at Dick.

Damian’s olive cheeks flushed crimson. “You dare tell on me!” he pointed at Bruce. “Father skipped the gala last Tuesday and said he had a mission to complete but instead he was hanging out with Superman and Wonder Woman!”

She stood bewildered and turned, gaping at Bruce. “Excuse me? You did what?”

Bruce held his hands up, expression already turning panicky as he calmed, “Darling, I can totally explain not attending the gala with you.”

“Oh? You can?” she laughed, eyes narrowing in rage. “So, it wasn’t just to get out of having to deal with all the other socialites? No, not Bruce Wayne. He wouldn’t leave his lovely wife to fend for herself.”

At this point the children were inching their way towards the door and Bruce pointed at them. “They’re getting away!”

She spun, ready to yell at them but they were already gone and when she turned back around, Bruce was gone too, the wall shifting back to its original place; she let out a howl. “OH, ALL OF YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR A MONTH!”

[ddejavvu]

meiii boy next door!peter and you catch him staring at you through the window and wave him over so then he’s crawling through the window and into your bed

today is multiverse monday! send me any au you can think of :)

no bc this made me think of the sun is also a star for a hot second and i just :(

--

You blamed the landscapers for putting your window so close to the house next door. Even worse, right up against the window of the house next door. Every time you looked outside, all you saw was someone else's room. It was the ultimate distraction.

And even then, it wasn't just anyone's window. It was Peter Parker's. You'd known him since he moved in, his aunt as his caretaker after a tragic accident with his parents.

You'd walked to and from school together since the fifth grade, the age that your guardians had deemed acceptable for you to walk on your own through the city. You'd grown up together, and now instead of clinging desperately onto the too-tall subway railings and giggling when you were tossed around by the rickety trains, you slumped onto each other in seats, dozing off one by one after hard days at school.

So, with the close proximity and friendship of over a decade, were you really expected to be focusing on your homework right now?

Your chemistry notes laid untouched on your desk, window ajar as you picked up your eraser. You'd sacrifice it in the name of scaring the shit out of the boy pretending to ignore you from across the way, sneaking glances when he thought you weren't looking.

You chucked your eraser at his window, the loud thunk alerting Peter to the fact that his game was up. He looked up at you bewilderedly, chest tight with adrenaline as he floundered for something to say.

"Come on," You mouthed, waving excitedly at him, the gesture for him to crawl across the rickety trellis that laid between your windows, "Come over!"

He slid open his window, grinning bashfully at you as he tossed his schoolbooks over before him. You caught them with a hasty grip, haphazardly piling them on top of your own in an attempt to give him room to crawl across.

"You know," He teased, "One day May's gonna wonder why this trellis is falling apart."

"You can just tell her about that time we used it as monkey bars," You reminisced on the fourth-grade memory fondly, chest swelling at the memory of Peter tumbling to his knees with tears in his eyes at his scraped knees. You'd slapped hello kitty bandaids over them and called it a day, and punched the first kid that had something to say about it the next day at school.

"God," He gripped one of the two remaining rungs on the top, inching across the rotting wood, "She'd kill me."

"She already wants to," You reach out the window to grab his hand, hauling him up through your window and letting him sink into your mattress lazily, "I told her about the time we stole her phone to send seventy-two pizzas to that dickhead security guard that escorted us out of the park for tripping that little kid."