#please this cannot be ocd i cannot have ocd. and yet

[cicadabite]

does anyone else xperience this type of thinking where. for example. u go to pick out a towel to dry off with. and then all of a sudden ur associating one towel with a good life outcome and one with a bad. and it usually revolves around a current worry (i.e.: if i pick this towel, this terrible event will happen, if i pick this one, everything will be fine)…. i also do this with things that are indistinguishable like forks etc. it takes me longer than 10 mins to pick out a fork to use sometimes

[kajiimotojiiro]

Ugh

[sarcasstic-jpmvr]

would you perhaps be willing to like, write about the autistic wilson headcanon? i’ve seen you tag your posts with it and i also believe in it (if that was your intention) so i’d love to hear how you think it effects him and his life!

Hi anon! Thank you so much for this ask! Sorry it took me so long to get to it, but I AM A FREE PERSON ONCE MORE (read: exams are finally fucking over and I passed every single one of them)

I am, in fact, a Neurodivergent!Wilson truther (not self-projecting or anything lmao)

I am not completely sure if you want a fic or just a little bullet-list of hc's I have, so (drumroll, please) I AM GIVING YOU BOTH (still working on the fic so I hope the hc's will satiate your hunger for a while)

I actually *just* posted an autism-bingo in character of Wilson and House, so some things might be repetitive, I hope that's alright!

Wilson got officially diagnosed after his therapist told him to - and it came as a massive surprise to him

basically imagine him at the appointment and talking to the psychologist, and then going "but like, that's completely normal, so I'm *so* not autistic, I mean I'd know what that looks like, right? my boyfriend best friend is autistic"

"James, that's actually part of the diagnostic criteria, you are very much on the spectrum"

".... naaahhhhhhhh"

also I hc that he got diagnosed (completely disregarding season 8 here) once the ICD 11 came out so "Aspergers" isn't actually a diagnosis anymore

also. like. a LOT of internalised ableism.

and obviously #impostor-syndrome

he truly believes he didn't deserve to get diagnosed because "he's not struggling"

spoiler alert: he is struggling, obviously.

also, he had to deal with getting diagnosed late in life, so he has to go through all of his memories with a new lens of "wait, actually, it does make sense why I acted that way because I'm autistic"

i cannot stress this enough: INTERNALISED ABLEISM

for some reason, in his eyes, House is allowed to act the way he does, and Wilson fully supports him and is so kind to him etc.

yet when Wilson finds himself shaking his hands in excitement, when he realises his perfected mask slips for a fraction of a second, he believes he has to be punished

on a different note: OCD!Wilson makes so much sense (to me it's canon bc of the speed-episode) i have more of these, so if y'all want a part 2, hmu!

[seapiglet]

hm

I've seen a LOT of shaming going round at the moment, both here and on twitter, of people who are seeking out good omens spoilers, mostly by those who have watched the new episodes in advance. despite what neil and david and michael may have said on the subject, it's rubbing me the wrong way! so I feel the need to make a potentially unpopular post about

✨SPOILERS AND NEURODIVERSITY✨

(and accessibility) 🤚🏼

now I cannot speak for everybody here but as an autistic person with ocd I actually !prefer! being spoiled ahead of time and will frequently read the entire wiki article for a show I'm about to watch (though weirdly CANNOT skip ahead with books?) in order to alleviate anxiety around the unexpected. trust me when I say that knowing what will happen in advance *enhances* the experience for me and I have yet to regret being deliberately spoiled, even when it comes to my absolute favourite things on earth, things I may have been waiting months and months (or in this case years) for. in fact, the longer I've had to wait, the more the feeling of gut-twisting anxiety and uncertainty beds down in my system and makes itself a very unwelcome house guest.

it's all very well insisting that everybody just be patient and ~wait and see~ but for a lot of neurodiverse folks this can be a very unsettling prospect. personally, I don't like surprises! I don't crave the sensation of being shocked by an unforeseen twist! it makes me do a panic! even the thought of it makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

we're not simply throwing our toys out the pram because we WANT something and we WANT IT NOW (shout out to verruca salt). there is a soothing comfort and stability to predictability that is difficult to explain to somebody who doesn't experience this.

at this point I should mention that OBVIOUSLY not all neurodiverse/autistic/diagnosed-ocd people feel this way but that doesn't negate the fact that a lot of us do and there's not much we can do about it.

I'm aware that everybody's currently moralising about the rightness/wrongness of illicitly distributing and trading nuggets of forbidden information like crack-laced pokemon cards* (surely in this fandom everything should exist in a grey area?) but please don't jump on this as an opportunity to prove who's the most terribly righteous and which of us gets to wear the Super Duper Bestest Fan Neil's Favourite prefect badge for the day. devolving into needless factions and one-upmanship so near to the official airdate does nobody any good.

on another personal note (this is the 👂🏼♿accessibility♿👂🏼bit) I was due to attend one of the screenings and now can't due to the apparent lack of subtitles. pleeeeeaase think of accessibility, amazon. please? some of us have severely messed up ears and/or auditory processing disorders - it's not hurting anybody to have the words up on the screen but it excludes many of us if you don't.

again, if you think it's terrible and wrong to want to be spoiled or to share spoilers you are well within your rights to think that, and of course I encourage anybody who is participating in a bit of blackmarket spoiler dealing to utilise ALL the tags you can think of to keep it secret (keep it safe), or simply leave it to the DMs, but I really don't see the good in shaming others who feel differently.

uhh thank you and good day 🎩

(*hopefully that still scans - my references are as ancient and ephemeral as my knee cartilage)

[supernaturallyliterate]

Thoughts on Heartstopper Season 2!

🛑🛑 SPOILERS AHEAD 🛑🛑

I really liked the way they switched events around but still incorporated all the main events / convos / quotes!! Like Ben asking for an apology, but instead of doing it at Tara's Bday party, they had Harry try to come in & get rejected & gave Ben's moment more depth and gave Charlie a more specific speech to be like "no, I don't forgive you, and I don't want you in my life. GTFO"

I absolutely loved every single one of Elle's outfits. And the dynamic between Elle & Tao developing their relationship! And I really really liked that we got more Tao backstory. His interactions with his mom, his heart to hearts with Nick (esp about his dad & relationship insecurities; we love a self aware king), his awkward first date with Elle at the theater

I liked Elle having more trans and non-binary friends!! And her art school journey!! Yes, give me more insight into each character's world

Naomi & Felix were iconic and I hope to see more of them! I liked that their presence also drew out Tao's insecurities and forced him to confront them. Like at the art show!!

I of course loved more focus on Tara & Darcy! I'm glad it wasn't just "Darcy is afraid to say I love you :/" and more was revealed about her homophobic parents and toxic home life! And oh my god the moment of Tara walking up to Darcy's house to check on her and meeting her mom for the first time had me SCARED. I was literally hiding behind my partner’s shoulder

I think the pacing still felt really good. And even though I knew what path the story was headed, it still felt natural when they switched things up. They maintained faithful to the original narrative while effectively adapting it to a TV show format, which is honestly SUPER impressive

And I am glad they kept in Charlie's mental health!! I think all the small switches they made really draw attention to how difficult it can be to notice an ED, anxiety, OCD, etc in someone else, even a partner. And they found good ways to express that anxiety with different conflicts and situations

IMOGEN. That girl is so bisexual. I called it last season. The vibes. The hair dye. The insistence on being "an ally." And she's totally falling for Sahar and I am HERE FOR IT.

ISSAC. I really really liked his whole arc with James. Asking Charlie how he knew he had a crush on Nick, relating to most of it, testing the waters with a kiss, and then being confused. Taking to the aroace artist at Elle's exhibition. Going back to that oh so centrally placed Ace book from earlier in the season & happily skipping off with it. I am so happy for him

TORI. Iconic, truly. Love all of her appearance and threats to people who could hurt Charlie. THE PHONE KICK SCENE, AHH. I really hope season 3 gets some sprinkles from Solitaire. They kinda hinted at some stuff to come by calling attention to Ben switching to Highs instead of staying at Truham. But I cannot wait for Michael to be introduced and the chaos to ensue.

The casting: 10000000/10

The acting: infinity / 10

The script: PERFECTION / 10

Please please please go watch or read Heartstopper. Better yet, do both.

[the-down-upside-finch]

✨️Important News✨️

I hath opened commissions!

If you are interested in commissioning me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! Please read below for more details, and then go ahead and let me know with a comment or email! (We can also chat over Discord or Tumblr DMs)

Oh, wow, you hit the read more! Thank you for your interest! Okay, here are some things to keep in mind about my commissions:

☆ These are my character price sheets! I am not currently doing landscape commissions, but if you want a scene or background, we can definitely work that out!

☆ Payment is half up-front, then the rest when the piece is halfway complete.* (I currently accept payment through Venmo, and I will have my Ko-fi up and running soon.)

☆ I love drawing OCs, but I'm not limited to them! As long as I have refs, I can draw! (And I accept both written and drawn refs.**)

☆ I tend to draw on ~900×1200px canvases, so please let me know if you have a different size in mind!

☆ I currently cannot (and will not try to) draw the following:

Extreme gore/extremely bloody content (although I am okay to draw minor scrapes and whatnot)

Anything specifically meant to be sexually gratifying -- (Basically, NSFW stuff is a no! It's just not my sort of thing.)

Mechs/other robotic machines -- (The reason I won't draw mechs is because the current amount of effort I have to put into it is not a price I want to dangle in front of people. If you really want me to draw mech stuff, please reach out to me and we can talk about it and my current pricing!)

Anthropomorphic animals -- (I'm sorry, but I'm just not good at this yet! I don't want to be unable to deliver good art.) -- (This is different than humanoids with animal features! I'm better at drawing those.)

OCD triggers -- (for me, this includes needles and insects)

If you aren't sure whether or not something is within my realm of work, please ask me! I promise I won't be mean about it.

If you want to see some more examples of what I can do, please check out this page for specifics!

Thank you for scrolling all the way down here! I really appreciate your interest.

Here are the embedded images for potential higher quality:

The additional notes on the price sheets are as follows:

Both a color-coded & black-line version will be provided for uncolored sketches!

Please note that prices will vary based on complexity/level of detail

Simple glowy effects are free! Complex ones average an extra 3 USD.

(Referencing the bust and waist-up prices) Prices may vary depending on arm placement!

Colored sketches will not be "shaded", and coloring is loose (can go outside the lines)

Uncolored clean/detailed pieces can be filled gray or left white!

Colored clean/detailed piece will include appropriate shading, but there are options to choose from!

Things to note: -- Additional characters in a single commissioned scene will have a 40% discount. -- I will default to a solid gray background unless told otherwise! -- Complicated poses, props, and/or complex color palettes will increase the price!

Once again, thank you for your interest, and sorry for this insanely long post!

*If you would like to pay entirely upfront, that is perfectly fine!

**If you don’t have colored/a lot of refs, that’s okay! I will work with you during the sketching and coloring process to make sure I am drawing the character the way you want.

[autistic-crypt1d]

Show Rankings: Crime Edition

These are just the crime shows that I've watched (or that I can remember at least). If you have any show recommendations based on this pleeeeeaaaase comment them.

I'll be explaining my reasonings below the cut!

Psych - my favorite crime show ever, it's nostalgic, funny, well written, intriguing, and it balances serious with funny so well.

Sherlock - I mean, this show is incredible on all fronts. It's my favorite kind of show, one that you cannot look away from or get distracted from for even a second without missing something. I was on the edge of my seat absolutely enthralled every second. Incredible show.

Veronica Mars - this one is very different from any others on this list and honestly any other crime show I've ever seen. It's amazing and riveting and so interesting, I love it. I ignore the final season existing like everyone else though, screw that.

Bones - great show, super interesting, love the sciency stuff a ton and the unique way of solving crime vs the others on this list. I hate what they did to Booth and Brennan's relationship finally progressing though, and there are definitely flat points I end up scrolling on my phone through.

Castle - really fun show, but there's a lot of stuff I don't care for in it like oversexualization. It also drags on a bit so thats why it gets some points off. The goofy crime solving mixed with serious plot lines and really fun character dynamics keep it above B for me.

The Mentalist - really fun, love Jane's character endlessly, he reminds me of Shawn Spencer in a lot of ways (Psych mentions The Mentalist a few times too). I love how his trauma is included even while he's covering it up with humor. Ending felt a bit weird for me but I like the show a lot and I like how it's dark while still managing to be lighthearted and fun to watch. Plus the amount of times he goats people into hitting him is amazing.

Monk - I relate to Monk a lot with my contamination OCD, the show is really fun, the team is really fun together, plus it goes on for a while in a great way.

White Collar - I love Peter and Neal's dynamic so much, that's honestly the main reason this is high up. It gets a bit boring and repetitive and drawn out sometimes, but I just love how Peter adopted this suave nuisance and actually gets anything done.

Only Murders in the Building - good show, honestly not super memorable yet but I intend to watch the next season. I think the concept is great and the dynamics of the main 3 are really fun and I like it a lot so far.

So Help Me Todd - fun show, Todd makes me laugh, I think his ever developing and growing partnership with his mom is hilarious. That family is honestly so chaotic and I love it, but the show has some lacking parts I don't quite know how to describe. I found myself forgetting to watch the next episodes.

Brooklyn 99 - please don't hate me for this being at B, it's a great and really funny show, I just really didn't connect with it much. I honestly think it's just because I already loved Psych so much and it's so similar in so many ways. I really do like it though.

Tracker - this show is super new and I like it so far. Something about the way it's filmed or the audio or acting is just super off though. I can't put my finger on exactly what's wrong but it just feels so weird. Other than that, I love the concept, it's completely unique from any other ones I've watched so far and I like it a lot. I'm excited to see where it goes.

Rizzoli and Isles - I like this one, but it just didn't grab me like a lot of the others. I love Moira so much though. Plus it really does have a lot of interesting plot lines.

NCIS - ok, this show is super old so you can imagine what that means content wise. There's quite a few jokes and comments that are straight up fucked and that's one of the big reasons it's low. The other reason is how downhill it went after Ziva left, I completely stopped watching after Bishop left too.

Limitless - concept was cool but the writing left a lot to be desired for and of course the fact that it got canceled. The main cop woman also felt really wishywashy as a character to me which is not great for a lead.

[piercingsandfangs]

Meet me ig !

Age: 16. ( 2008 ).

Gender: I am male.

Sexuality: none ya business but I obv like men. Cmon.

Uh: idk what to list this as but I'm European.

Weight: No idea because I don't own a scale and I can't ask for one without it being a problem. I am however a size small in clothes, I can fit in extra small I just dislike tighter clothing and small is baggy on me sometimes.

Height: embarrassing. I'm 5'3.

Pronouns: He / They. Use either I don't care enough.

Relationship stat: he's not my bf ( yet. )

!!! : I have autism, ocd, depression, anxiety, and I strongly question if I have bpd but idk.

[ Tws for; sh, ed, vents on my page, you've been warned. ]

Random lore;

I started eating less in my ( what would be for you ) middle school years to cope with a boy in my class and my teacher both calling me fat. I started not eating around people and not eating as much food. I don't remember when but I became overly disinterested in food. I was body positive and didn't care much about weight but I was very skinny because I didn't eat much, one small meal a day usually ( if that ). A few months ago I was really sick due to a traumatic incident I was experiencing, it made my anxiety awful, I was throwing up alot and couldn't do much. In that time I also couldn't hold down any food, it started off as an accident, I threw up my food because I was brushing my teeth and was sick, then it wasn't an accident, I was putting my fingers down my throat so often. I stopped after awhile, I " got better ". Recently I started binging alot and it's stressed me, I hate it. So I'm back to familiar territory.

kl I'm attempting to restrict myself to daily: 500-700kl. I don't need to puke it but I probably will <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I like:

• puking. Lol

• Ranfren.

• Evangelion.

• my boyfriend.

• I'm emo, I love emo shit.

• mlp

• pjsk

• soul eater

• creepypasta

• Nightcore

• most things early 2010s.

• drawing

• south park

• lost media

• mindless self indulgence

• The Sims ( 4 & 2 ).

• Eddsworld

• Killing stalking ( no I don't ship them )

The list goes on...

and on.

PLEASE NOTE:

My account is a lil broken, I cannot comment things or post in ask boxes. I'm not being a shit mutual.

[haunted-headset]

🎧✩°｡⋆⸜ About Me 🎧✩°｡⋆⸜

i'm robin, but you can call me haunty, haunted, robbie, rob, birdy, or any other nickname you come up with!

i'm a minor, but i'm not going to say how old i am exactly. that makes me uncomfortable.

i haven't been diagnosed yet, but i'm pretty sure i have ocd, maybe autism, & maybe adhd. i am diagnosed with anxiety & depression, so sorry if my posts are a bit random at times.

i'm a panromantic asexual & genderfluid, & i use they/he/she pronouns.

i like a lot of things, but my main hyperfixations & fandoms are lovejoy, qsmp, wilbur soot, bursonas, heartstopper, harry potter (although i strongly dislike JK Rowling), dsmp, alice oseman novels, dark academia novels (if that makes sense), twitch streamers i like, & a few other things that i cannot remember.

i write, sing, play piano, read, & make art. i'm learning how to play the ukulele & trying to improve my art skills. i can always post some of my art if you're interested.

i am an age regressor flip, which means i am both a regressor & a caregiver. when i regress, i regress to around 3-6 years old. please be respectful & mindful of this.

this is an SFW blog, which means no NSFW fics will be written. NSFW jokes, however, will sometimes be made.

if you have any other questions for me, let me know & I'll add any other fun facts onto this post when i remember :)

[aidenlove]

CW frank mental illness breakdown vent. OCD to be specific. Also mention of sick pet and financial issues. If any of that is potentially an issue for you right now, scroll on by friends. Not an ask for money please do not offer.

Two days ago we found our daughters cat on the floor, listless and barely responsive and hypothermic in a warm room. It had been less than 2 hours since we had last been actively interacting with him. We rushed him to the vet and they sent us home with him in critical condition. He was full on in shock, had thrown up all the water he had drank that day and peed out the rest and was massively dehydrated, was hypothermic and seizing.

And we had to go home and....wait.

He made it through the night and has been improving since, though he still won't eat and they still don't know what happened. We scoured this house, no unsecured meds or trash, no houseplants at all because we have cats, no spills of chemicals or cleaning supplies or any of those accessible to the cats. No access to outside. No contact with strangers. This looks like a poisoning of some kind, most likely accidental ingestion of something, but we have no idea what and they haven't figured it out yet either.

He will probably be there a few more days. The entire household is worried sick about him.

I can't afford any of this. I've already paid $400 and we live on $1200 a month. The rest of however much this ends up being will be due before they will release him back to us. We don't have it. Our families don't have it. We are in a poor area of one of the poorest states in the country, no one close to us has it.

And I can't make a crowdfunding campaign.

Because my brain is very very convinced that if I do that he will die.

I *know* this is the OCD. I know how and why this happens. I know several excellent coping strategies. I have medication and my therapist's phone number and even my psychiatrist's number, I could ask for an emergency script for a dose of a stronger med.

None of that is helping. Can't do it. It doesn't seem to matter how much I know this isn't true, isn't based in reality, I cannot make myself do it. I can't ask for meds because that would make me more likely to do it and my current brain, that I am living with in this moment, considers that a catastrophic possibility.

I know higher stressors will elicit more extreme responses from my brain, especially the OCD. I know my coping strategies are good and usually work well. I know why this is happening, but none of that knowing changes the fact that my child will never see their very much beloved pet, who they raised from a kitten, ever again, if I can't sort this out. And that pressure makes it *worse*. Spiraling cycle of knowing I know better, knowing this is a perfectly reasonable thing to happen *to a person with even well managed OCD*, none of that actually helping the actual situation at hand, stress of that adding to fixation strength, repeat.

I couldn't just let him die. And he absolutely would have. He is alive and slowly recovering because we got him there in time. That was, without question, the right choice.

But because my brain was severely damaged by trauma, and my body is now equally damaged and we lost 80% of our income, that choice may have cost my child one of their best friends.

And I had a procedure on my spine the day before all this happened. I pushed more than I should have just doing the drive to the vet, but I didn't care and I don't regret it. But now I'm stuck in bed, managing maybe 20 steps at a time with hours of rest between attempts. So lots of time to sit and. Well. Spiral. The distraction game isn't going well.

I try so hard to be encouraging and positive, but right now I hate my life so fucking much. It hurts so much, all the time. Sometimes, like now, it's past the breaking point. The pieces will settle and I'll put them back together, but right now I am very much broken.

[shirefantasies]

Hello! I’m new to Tumblr, your blog was one of the first I found and followed! I was wondering if you could match/ship/pair me with an LotR character! Specifically LotR if you end up getting around to me, please!

I’m 5’3” with dark hair, though I keep it shaven in a buzz cut style. I’m pansexual, so you can ship me with anyone. I’m also autistic and possibly ADHD and OCD. Still learning about myself and trying to get diagnoses and people that understand me.

Moving on! I’m rather goofy! I’ve got a silly, meme-like side to me that I have trouble restraining. I’ll constantly see references to memes/obscure things I like everywhere and always point them out. I also make random noises and jokes that only those close to me will understand or be able to interpret the meaning of. I’m a good listener, and always try to help solve problems, though I may not be too good at getting the end result where it needs to be. Hahaha! I like to cuddle people, though I’m a little picky with touch because of sensory issues.

As for the other side of me, I am very paranoid, and have anxiety, severe depression, and PTSD, so it’s hard for me to trust people. I’m introverted, too. I always have been but ever since the trauma that caused my mental health issues I’ve become extremely introverted, almost in a comical way. I have some self-hate based behaviors towards myself that I’m working on unlearning. I constantly need reminded to take care of myself, and will have unexpected breakdowns, depression lows, or flashbacks. There are things or actions that will upset/trigger me that may need to be avoided. It’s rough but I still try my best to please everyone.

I hope that’s enough, if it’s not you can always contact me directly for more info or with questions! Thanks for considering!

Well that’s such an honor! Glad to be an early addition to your tumblr family 🥰 heck yeah you can have a lord of the rings character, and I hope you like being a hobbit because because I ship you with…

Pippin!

Sometimes it feels like no one understands him. So when Pippin hears tales of some far-off hermit, he feels a strange kinship with them immediately knowing only that they are the subject of talk, too. Maybe they’ve disappointed people with ways they cannot help, too. Pippin, though, could never run away from people- he loves them too much, enough to try again and again until he gets it right. He doesn’t know why he is the way he is, after all. He just is. Isn't everybody?

He gets lost one day, lost further out in the edges of the hills then he's been yet. Not quite far enough to be frightened, but just enough to see the waning of the hobbit-holes and the thinning of the Shire's green hills. It isn't until the sun descends that he truly gets concerned, rushing to the nearest hole he finds and ringing the bell dangling by its big round door. You answer, looking quite puzzled and not entirely unafraid of the stranger before you. What do you say? "Er, can I help you?" "Well," he begins, "I'm lost, you see. Can I trouble you to stay the night before I return to the road?" Silence overtakes you, ponderance, glances this way and that, before you finally nod and bid him entry. "You've not come to report to the others, have you now?" "I beg your pardon?" "Back in town. All the rumors. Part of why I avoid it, not that it helps them," you shake your head. That is when Pippin realizes he's found his kindred hermit, and you are nothing like he imagined. Contrary to the stories, he thinks there's something about you that looks...friendly.

"You're the-!" Barely resisting the urge to exclaim 'hermit', Pippin glances around your mostly quite normal hobbit hole. "Erm, I always wondered why they told all those stories." "Because they're a fat lot of gossips, that's why," you shoot back, shuffling through your kitchen, "they aren't exactly the champions of anyone who's...different." "That I know," Pippin responds with a nod, voice going a bit quiet. His words have you turning around, peering at him like you've only just seen him. "I see. Well, want anything?" In the end, you share some of your dinner with this stranger, who tells you his name is Peregrin Took, more frequently called Pippin. Pippin doesn't mock the sounds you make, in fact you notice that he seems to find himself mimicking them. As you go through the evening's motions, he doesn't seem to mind that you have your way of doing things. When something you see reminds you of a song you made up, you can't help but sing it, and soon Pippin is joining along. You even make up a song together. When he leaves, you find yourself saying something very uncharacteristic: "If you ever want to come back, well, I'll be here." Something in his smile, the way he nods, has you feeling strangely hopeful.

Come back he does, and sing more songs to and with you in that beautiful voice he does. You're ready for him to recoil, to pack up and leave you behind like everyone else does when he catches a nightmare turning to a breakdown, but as he peers in the doorway he simply asks if he can touch you, hold your hand or even you. When he stays, helps you with breakfast and cheers at your smile, twirling you across the kitchen, well, you can't help feeling a rare peace at your little paradise getting a bit bigger.

Taglist: @lokilover476 @fuckyoumakeart @mossthebogwitch @ibabblealot @kilibaggins @joonies-word @stormchaser819 @pirate-lord-of-narnia @datglutengoblin | Reply/Ask/Message to join 🥰

[hourglass-dreams]

Bruno Madrigal Mental Health/Neurodivergence Headcanons 💚

Disclaimer: yes I know the movie is about generational trauma within Latin American culture and I am taking that into account. But I also know this (like all types of trauma) effect mental health GREATLY. Bruno also shows clear ND traits whether that be Autism, ADHD, etc... And are underrepresented in Latin American communities. If you disagree that is fine! But I never intend to ignore the culture in any way. When it comes to the OCD stuff, please know that I am not trying to depict superstition and the condition as being the same thing. Someone can be superstitious and not have OCD and vise-versa. OCD is a complex condition that can become disruptive to someone’s life while a superstition is a type of belief or practice. 

Another thing is that half of these will get pretty heavy in nature since trauma, OCD, depression, etc... Are real issues meant to be taken seriously. I will refrain from sharing headcanons that discuss more triggering subject matter ❤️

Alright here we go. 💚 I'll start with the I guess, lighter ones?

I cannot remember who had this first one originally but I loved it. It's basically an idea where Bruno likes tight hugs and deep pressure. So whenever he’s around people and feels overwhelmed his sisters will hug him really tight to ground him. (Over the years they’ve gotten better at recognzing his behavoiral changes since he has a hard time communicating when he’s experiencing overload or severe anxiety, even Alma has begun doing this) And of course he’ll only let specific people hug him like that. In the rare occasion that he isn’t around them in the village, he’ll either run back home or of course have his rats with him. His rats are wonderful comfort animals. Credit to the person who came up with the deep pressure idea!

Along with the deep pressure theme, Mirabel had this idea for a “cuddle blanket” (or, a weighted blanket) for Bruno. So, the grandkids banded together to help her make it, adding in something special from each of them. Isabela grew Lamb’s Ear and Mullien leaves on the outside of it to give it differing textures (those leaves are EXTREMELY soft, it’s insane). There also little pockets on the sides for his rats to climb in. 

When the triplets were children, Bruno would write little messages in wet sand when he couldn’t verbalize what he needed. Pepa started doing this too when she’d give someone the silent treatment XD. 

This is probably surprising to no one but Bruno has a drawer full of salt containers. 

When Bruno returned, he still felt like an intruder so he would just stay in his tower. His sisters or Mirabel had to practically beg him to get out and be with the family.

He always had a fascination with hourglasses even before he got his gift, when he got his tower it came with a random array of hourglasses, one in particular would detect how much time was left until a certain prophecy was fufilled.

When the triples were younger, Bruno had a habit of tapping on of his sisters’ arm. It didn’t always mean he was nervous, it was just a soothing thing. He still does it occasionally. 

Still to do this day, Bruno will occasionally bury himself in the sand of his tower. 

Bruno either makes too much eye contact, or none at all. Literally, the “seeing your dreams” thing derived from him unknowingly staring at someone.

Bruno’s knowledge of theatre allowed him bond a lot with Camilo, and make him WAY less scared of him.

Sometimes in visions, Bruno will watch movies or plays that haven’t even happened yet and unintentionally spoil the details because he gets so excited. 😂

Sometimes on really bad depression days, the grandkids will play out telenovelas for him so he doesn’t have to get up and force any energy. 

Speaking of depression, since Pepa knows how deep and debilitating emotions can get, she tries her best to get Bruno to vent his feelings (When you know.. he wants to and is willing). This has been a great way to rekindle their sibling relationship, and Julieta, being the nurturer that she is, she does whatever she can to comfort them. There were times where all them have started crying. 

Alma has the hardest time communicating so sometimes she will just go into Bruno’s room just to be there to let him know that she cares about him. 

Bruno adopted some mannerisms that resemble his rats 🐀

Alright, now for the more agnsty ones.

Bruno absolutely despises crowds, before he left, riots would ensue around him made up of angry villagers and he would just shut down, unable to react. To try and distract them, Isabela would swing around on her vine and grow vibrant flowers. Being just a young child, she said she didn’t mind doing it but Bruno hated for her to even be around when it happened, along with any of the other grandkids. They were all too young to witness angry mobs, and he didn’t know how to handle them at all. 

There have been times where Bruno will be up all night sprinkling salt between the tiles of Casita and knocking on door frames. 

Okay so you know how I said he has a collection of hourglasses? Yeah well one day after having an argument with Alma over the townspeople and his gift, he broke one of those hourglasses in anger. What makes matters worse is that it was the large one tied to his power. Luckily, it gradually repaired itself. 

In the first few years of Bruno having his gift, he would cry whenever he had visions because he would have a really hard time processing everything that was going on, like the sights, sounds, bodily sensations, etc.. It was a lot to handle sensory wise, on top of him being a child. 

On the topic of his visions being overwhelming, there were times where Bruno would cause himself to bleed from scratching his eyes so hard, luckily he hasn’t blinded himself (well... yet any way).

Sadly there are things Julieta’s food can’t heal, like Bruno’s vision headaches and the recurring bruises on his knuckles. 

Bruno has a really bad habit of hitting himself in the head and puling his hair. His rats are fortunately able to prevent him from doing this by distracting him. 

Bruno has a very vague idea of what he looks like because of his eisoptrophobia (or spectrophobia, fear of mirrors). He only knows from Camilo or distorted reflections in glass or porcelian. His family has been trying to help ease his anxiety with gradual success. 

There are times where Bruno will be so disoriented from a vision or dream he had that he will have severe derealization for a few days. (A state of feeling detached from yourself and or your surroundings or feeling like things aren’t real). 

After Pedro died, Alma became hypervigilant and grew more superstitious for a few years, so she often blames herself for Bruno’s ecessive superstitiousness and anxiety. (She blames herself for so many things...)

I might add to this?? Idk <3

[stars-and-guts]

hey guyz its star or panic welcome back to another youtube video

im kind of a dude think of me as a diet man, they / he / star, a little bit bi. contrary to popular belief you are not allowed to call me by the name "sus" yet my friends do so anyway and i cannot stop them as we are all eldritch beings who can eliminate each other at any time

im 99.9% sure i have adhd and depression but im still on the journey of getting diagnosed, i reblog about those things fyi i am diagnosed with ocd and anxiety but those two things manifest less recently and are instead me being normally plagued with my not so normal actually kind of awful life

i like a lot of stuff my interests always change CURRENT BIG INTERESTS (last updated august 20 2024): PROJECT SEKAI, OSHI NO KO, POKEMON, VTUBERS ESP NIJIEN

i wont be interacting that much with nsfw seriously but there will be some freaky jokes !!

also the point of this blog is for me to find tumblr posts i found a few years ago at the peak of my tumblr usage (i didnt have an account then) and reblog them here because theyre funny. and i dont like having as many screenshots in my storage as i do rn. those posts will be in the archive set to roughly the date that i found the post but those dates are before i made this blog so you cant navigate to them- instead you get to scroll through my struggles in reverse chronological order

what else idk i joke about mental illness and suicide i block for petty and small reasons and i think the concept of cringe is dumb because why are we suddenly shaming people for expressing themselves im sorry are we actually a hivemind

ALSO. IF YOU ARE ON MY CUSTOM URL. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CLICK THE INFO TAG ON EVERY POST I AM FUNNIEST IN MY TAGS BUT DIDNT KNOW MY TAGS GET HIDDEN LIKE THAT IN THE THEME I PUT IN UNTIL AFTER I ADDED A LOT OF CUSTOMIZATION

pinterest: starsxandxguts youtube: stars-and-guts anything else i either havent touched since i made the acc OR its related to vtubers and doesnt have anything to do w/ this blog

IMAGES USED IN MY BLOG: piplup forgot are you lost background sorry i dont remember where my pfp of piplup laying in the sand is from

[ak-harper-loves-fiction]

Short Story About OCD

TW: s3lf-h@rm(?), sk!pping m3@ls

So, this is a short story about my character Isaac, and his struggles with OCD. He is a character from the book I'm currently writing called From Then and Back Again. Enjoy the story!

Isaac can feel the weight building on his eyelids, but he keeps writing what he thinks are equations in his notebook. The page appears blurry, and he has almost become completely numb to the pain in his arm pressing against the metal spiral. Maybe you should wait until you can find another left-handed notebook, his reason insists. However, he blows his logic off. It’s your fault for not buying a spare. This one is all you have for now. Don’t be lazy. 

He attempts to continue working, but he looks at the walls of his room, and they seem to be slowly turning all around him. He is seated on his bed, but he grips the sides of it as if he is preventing himself from falling. Isaac picks up his phone beside him to check the time, and he has to squint to see the numbers well. It is past one in the morning. Dammit, he thinks as his smooth phone slides out of his hand between his fingers. He drops his pencil and buries his head in his hands. His cold hands press against his cheeks. His arms tremble under the weight of his head. Why am I so damn weak? he asks himself. His logic returns once more. Because you had a basketball game for hours, then proceeded to come home, not eat, and do math homework for additional hours. He fights back against his head. It’s not that big of a deal.

He returns to concentrating on his paper, finally gaining some adrenaline from a second wind, and observes all the layered erased pencil markings. He analyzes the recent, unerased markings, and he seems to be doing the math right. However, he also notes that his math gets sloppy at times. He immediately clenches his pencil tightly. He erases so aggressively the already weakened page rips and his forearm runs over the sharp edge of the metal spiral, tearing his skin. “Fuck!” he whisper-shouts in pain and throws his notebook off the bed. Isaac looks down at the scratch on his arm. He winces from the burn. Your father would be so disappointed at how pathetic you’ve become, his mind scolds him. You can’t even handle a notebook. Mamá already hates you.

He gets out of bed to retrieve his math homework. He struggles to balance and his legs shake from soreness. He bends down to pick up the notebook and turns back to his bed, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees his bedroom mirror. He looks in the opposite direction and continues forward to his bed. He puts the notebook down, but he limps away from his bed. Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it, he begs himself, but he gazes into the mirror anyway. 

Staring at his tired, sorrowful reflection, Isaac’s brain begins to mock him: Failure! Weak! Burden! He holds his head with his hands and shakes it, trying to remove his thoughts, but they keep coming. Your eye bags are too big. You have no muscle. You’re too short. He shuts his eyes so he cannot see what the mirror is showing him and he quietly tells himself: “Stop, please.” Relentless, he cannot stop. Why haven’t you finished your homework yet? It’s too messy. You need to redo it. You barely won the game today. Clearly, you haven’t practiced enough. Your dad would hate you. The rest of your family does. Your friends probably do, too. Theo and Amber are way better people than you. You don’t deserve them. You need to do more for them. Or else, you’re an even bigger failure. 

Ignoring the pain in his legs, Isaac quickly retreats into his bed. He peers over his shoulder and examines his notebook. He grabs it and holds the ripped parts together. You can’t turn that in, he hears his brain murmur. It’ll be an inconvenience to the teacher. Do you wanna be a burden? He shakes his head. I can’t be even more of a burden than I already am. He turns to a clean page and begins copying his work from the previous change. He wrestles with how to position it. Every time his arm hits the spiral, the scratch burns. Guess you’ll just have to live with the pain. 

He continues, refusing to let the pain stop him. He writes, then erases. Not good enough. As he is erasing, his pace slows and his eyelids turn into anvils. The page is now nothing more than a white blur. C’mon, he urges himself meekly. Stay awake…a little…longer…

[dead-boy-dont-eat]

The reason I KNOW creepy thoughts correlate so strongly with creepy actions is that it was forcibly demonstrated to me time and time again.

IE, a ton of proshippers used their gross pedo fantasies to demonstrate to a very underage me all the particular sexual things they were going to do to me, before proceeding to do them. At this point it's basically just saying 'hey I get off to child abuse, let me show you how!!!'

So yeah. Fuck off with the victim blaming, please and thanks. Eight year olds cannot consent to sex, no matter how sexy you happen to find them!!

hi, anon.

first, i want to say thank you for trusting me with what happened to you. im incredibly disgusted by the behavior those people showed you. you didn't deserve to be groomed and exploited- no one ever does. i apologize sincerely if i ever said something that implied otherwise. as a csa victim myself, i understand why you feel strongly about this, and im going to take my time to respond to you in good faith. i disagree with you about thoughts and actions. i actually study this sort of thing, and you'd be surprised just how many thoughts we have are completely out of our own control! this is especially so with many psychological disorders like OCD, which are characterized by unwanted, repetitive thoughts that make those with them so uncomfortable that it affects their quality of life. if creepy thoughts had a strong correlation with creepy actions, we would expect to see people with these kinds of mental illnesses be the perpetrators of more crimes- but instead, the opposite is true. i find this really relieving. a really good post about thoughts and morality is here but basically, the bottom line is this: your thoughts will always, always come secondary to your actions. in exposing you to their sexual fantasies, they went beyond thoughts, they went beyond fiction, they went beyond anything pro-shippers (most people, really!!) defend. they groomed and abused you, a very real minor. and that is fucking. evil. the connection lays between their action of grooming and then their act of assaulting; things they had complete control over and yet chose to do anyways. i say "abusers don't abuse as a result of thoughts, which are largely beyond their control, or because of the media that they consume" because in truth, my abusers didn't deserve that kind of leniency, and neither do yours. their actions don't warrant excuses.

i sincerely hope that you are able to make as full of a recovery as possible and find ways to thrive in your life. you deserve so much more than what you were given. -chihiro

[catgirlsmousetoy]

Wait what's your special interest

Yes I am aware I'm signing myself up for the infodump and I am here for it

ok don't laugh but on god it's drugs

I love little historical fun facts about them(molly having always been covered by uk drug law as all drugs with that base ring structure are restricted even if they don't exist yet- though the law was later updated to include molly specifically, bicycle day, etc)

I love hearing about how they effect different brains differently (shroomies tend to crank my adhd thought racing up to 11(in a good way) while they let my ocd friends have a quiet brain for awhile, how stimulants are useful for treating adhd, etc)

I love learning about how they work in your body and how they interact with other drugs(molly releases a lot of serotonin in your brain and you should take a lengthy tolerance break before taking anything else that also releases serotonin directly, while shroomies and lucy just act on your serotonin receptors and won't share the same cross tolerance. You shouldn't take any serotonin releasing drug if you're on an ssri since your brain can't take care of all the extra free floating serotonin afterwards and you run the risk of serotonin syndrome. If you drink while on stimulants they tend to mask each other's effects and when one starts to wear off you will be Too Fucked Up™️)

I love reading trip reports. It's really nice seeing people talk about how they were able to work through their mental issues or how they gained a new appreciation for their life and their loved ones. And Tails From the Trip is like The Magnus Archives to me

I love reagent testing and all the funny little colors they make

I haven't been able to sit down and read a book in years but I'm thinking about picking up a copy of PiHKAL , I think I might actually be able to focus on it

Did you know that serotonin is a precursor for melatonin and so messing w that system too much can really mess w your circadian rhythm? And 5htp is the precursor for serotonin so if you are running low you can supplement with that for a bit, though you'll also have to take egcg (green tea extract) to inhibit the enzyme in your gut that turns 5htp into serotonin since 5htp can cross the blood brain barrier but serotonin cannot.

Tumblr please don't ban me this is for educational purposes only and I totally live in Colorado or wherever