#plus i read more genres than i used to which means even more books

[squidcreature]

my goodreads tbr is almost 2000 books because I've been using it for over a decade and every year i add more and more books

and this year i am going to try so hard to pull books from it because i marked them as to read for a reason!! they are books i want to read!!

i just have a bad habit of finding a random book not on my tbr and deciding i have to read it immediately ... and it doesn't help that i started watching booktube last year so i'm being exposed to even more books every day ... and i am so easy, like you literally just have to be like "hey this is a good book" and i'll add it to my tbr without even reading the summary sometimes haha

[deedeeznoots]

You’re? Correction! I’m Yours 

➺ Characters: Ryomen Sukuna, GN!Reader 

➺ Word Count: 900+ 

➺ Genre: Fluff

➺ Content: Non-Curse!AU, Nerd!Sukuna, Established Relationship (with some pre-relationship sprinkled in), Swearing

➺ A/N: Shout out to my wonderful mutual @heian-era-housewife for this post about Heian Era Sukuna doing poetry. If she’s reading this: I hope you don’t mind the tag but your post seriously inspired a huge chunk of these headcanons 🥹

➺ Synopsis: Headcanons of all the nerdy things Sukuna does because deep down inside that’s all he is and all he wishes to be ❤️

➺ At first glance he doesn’t read as someone who would be super nerdy or all that interested in learning. 

➺ I mean, can you blame anyone? No one really expects the dude constantly looking for a fight to pull up with some textbooks during his free time.

➺ Once you get to know him though, you realize that on the inside he is in fact a giant nerd about basically everything.

➺ It starts off subtly: at first you’d ask him questions and he’d be able to easily come up with answers without even giving it a second thought.

➺It could be a question about anything, regardless of the subject or perceived difficulty, and Sukuna would be able to explain it to you. Not only that, but he’d be able to explain it to you in a way that made it sound like the simplest thing in the world. 

➺ At one point you basically just started playing trivia and just started asking him stuff normal people didn’t know the answers for and he’d answer with ease, albeit he’d get really annoyed with your constant random questions.

➺ Sometimes if he’s really excited about a subject his explanations would turn into full lectures that’d put most college professors to shame.

➺ Although it was shocking at first, it started to make sense when you realized that the main reason why he takes time to learn about stuff is because he’s constantly bored and looking for new things to entertain him.

➺ He’s good at basically everything so long as it piques his curiosity, but his one and only love will forever be literature, mostly because of how infinite the possibilities are with the medium.

➺ He’s well versed in literature of all genres and different cultures, but he is the most drawn toward Japanese works (and let’s be honest, his favorites would probably come from the Heian Period).

➺ Ever since getting with you, he’s been leaning more toward the romance genre. Just in case he needs any inspiration on how to spice up your relationship, you know? 

➺ He’s taught himself multiple languages just for fun and to see how far he could go.

➺ He LOVES poetry, he both writes and reads it a lot and it’s his favorite hobby besides eating.

➺ Other than literature, he also has a huge fascination with art.

➺ He designed his own tattoos because he wanted to play with the idea of turning his body into a canvas. It also just so happened to make him look intimidating as hell which was a plus in his book.

➺ He also has a little journal that he carries around and he sketches a lot whenever he’s bored or sees something interesting.

➺ As for styles, he’s a really big fan of Sumi-e painting because he’s allergic to color but he basically just uses and does whatever he feels like at the moment. 

➺ He’s the type of person who draws what he sees, but he would especially enjoy drawing nature. 

➺ He would go out on hikes whenever he felt the need to draw and would walk until he found something interesting. 

➺ He’s really into meditation while he draws and he uses sketching as a way to keep himself level headed during particularly annoying days.

➺ He isn’t too fond of drawing people, but you’d be the exception. 

➺ He would 1000% draw you while you sleep. It’s the perfect time since you’d be still for most of it. 

➺ Sukuna is able to write really good cursive and also does calligraphy because he got bored one time (shocker) and so decided to see if he was able to do it well and to no one’s surprise, he was eventually able to.

➺ The reason why he leans towards the humanities so much is because they’re both subjects no one can really “master”. With both art and literature, there isn’t a point where someone knows absolutely everything about either subject. Since Sukuna loves a challenge, he wants to be the first person to go “Fuck you, I DO know everything about this”.

➺ One of the little things he does every day includes writing you short little romantic poems on a post it note and leaving them in out random spots for you to find. 

➺ Sometimes they would be in your pocket or other times on the bathroom mirror, wherever it is they would make you smile. 

➺ Though, sometimes he would stick them onto such odd spots that you’d wonder just how he did it?

➺ He has TONS of pride in his writing (to be fair, he’s prideful about basically anything he does) and he always appreciates it when you mention his little notes and complement the work he put into writing them.

➺ Sometimes when the both of you are talking together he’d say some of the most poetic sentences that you’ve ever heard like it’s nothing. 

➺ When you gasp he just goes “What? Why are you staring at me like that?” as if he didn’t randomly drop lines that sounded like they came from straight out of a novel.

➺ He’s a dick when it comes to spelling and grammar, especially during petty arguments.

➺ “How many times do I have to tell you, if your going to the restroom put the damn seat down afterwards” ➺ “It’s YOU’RE*, actually” ➺ “Fine, YOU'RE** a piece of shit Ryomen!”

➺ Don’t fret though, because while Ryomen Sukuna wants to know anything and everything there is to know about the world, he knows deep down inside that the best thing the world could have ever offered him was you.

-

➺ Edit: Okay I made this story quite a while ago but I HAVE ANOTHER HEADCANON TO ADD! I think his observation skills are super on point which is how he’s able to understand things so easily

A/N: Everyone list what you think Sukuna’s favorite book(s) would be 🗣️

A/N: If you enjoyed my thoughts on Sukuna, you’d love this story I also wrote paired with some headcanons! 

[maedae-maedae]

Can't Help It - Library Date

☆ Okkotsu Yuuta x F!Reader

☆ Genre: Smut

☆ Warnings: NSFW 18+

☆ Contents: Aged-Up Characters, Established Relationship, Semi-Public/Public Sex, Needy!Yuuta, Sub?Yuuta, AU - University Students, Clothed Sex, Oral Sex, Breeding Kink?

☆ Word Count: 3.6k

☆ Summary: You meet up with your boyfriend, ready to have a study date at your university's library and really get down to business. The two of you need to go to the library to actually study, and you both know well enough to take it seriously. Today you come wearing a new outfit... and suddenly your boyfriend has other plans for the two of you.

☆ A/N: Randomly awakening from my disappearance to post this smut which- I am just now realizing is my first real full-out smut! That I'm posting, that is.

This idea came to me as I was writing actually another fic for Yuuta so expect that real soon, much more stretched out than this lil one shot. Anyways, enjoy!

It’s late morning by the time you meet your boyfriend Yuta Okkatsu at your university’s library. The place is huge, and would literally be impossible to find books from if you didn’t have the power of technology. You’re searching the section with the books required by the class you share with Yuta. You guys decided on not giving into the scam of buying textbooks, opting to use the library’s plentiful supply of books that no one uses these days anyways. You’re reaching up to grab another suggested reading as Yuta stands behind you, holding the big one you’d handed to him when you first got here.

He’s a little embarrassed right now, hot and beginning to sweat. And he’s surprised you haven’t noticed yet. Ever since he met you in front of the library earlier, he’s been sporting a full boner. All thanks to the new outfit you had on. It’s adorable, and your boyfriend absolutely loves the way it hugs your body. Maybe a little too much, unable to pry his eyes away from the curve of your ass as the skirt lifts up with your reach. He glances around to make sure no one else is around to see this view and then continues to stare.

You were so excited to show him this outfit today too, and he couldn’t even properly compliment you with how flustered it was making him. Plus, you probably wouldn’t want him to be immediately sexualizing you in it either, so what is he thinking? Still, he can’t help it. How badly he wants to have his hands all over you right now.

“Okay! Got it!” You say happily as you pull the book off its shelf. “That’s it, I think. There’s not anything else you wanna grab, is there? I mean honestly, three is already enough I don’t know if I can handle more than this.”

You look up at Yuta and he shakes his head to answer you. But somethings off about him.

“Is something wrong?” You ask and he’s honestly relieved you finally notice. He takes a step toward you, then another until he’s right in front of you. His eyes avoid yours out of embarrassment for a moment, but then he looks at you straight on.

“Let’s go home.” He says, taking your hand in his own as he does.

“Huh? But we said we would study together today.” You reply, confused on why he suddenly wants to change plans.

“Let’s just study at your place” He suggests, pouting. You raise an eyebrow at him and give him a knowing look.

“Yu.. you know if we go to ‘study’ at my place, there wont be any studying happening.” You tell him and playfully poke his stomach. He was hoping you’d just understand without him having to explain himself, but looks like he’ll have to show you instead.

“Cmon, let’s go find a-“ You begin as you turn, but stop mid sentence when you feel your boyfriends embrace from behind. He wraps his arms around your middle, book still in one of his hands. He nuzzles into your neck.

“Hey.. what’s up with you tod-“ You don’t need to ask any further when he finally presses his full body to you, and you feel it. His hard cock rests against your ass, straining through his pants. A hot flash hits you, suddenly feeling his neediness like it’s contagious.

“Ah.. I get it now.” You say calmly, placing a hand on his at your stomach and using the other to stroke his hair a couple times. “Needy boy~” You coo at him. He twitches against you, to your amusement.

“You look so good today.. I can’t help it.” He whines into your ear, just barely audible. He’s so sweet, what are you gonna do with this boy?

“Hmm.. I guess we can’t really study until you’re good, huh?” You say, mostly to yourself, as you quickly think of somewhere nearby that would be most likely to not get you caught.

“Cmere.” You tell him, taking his hand and leading him along with you.

You walk with him until you reach a little nook of the library, empty and seemingly not visited very much. Your friend actually told you about this part of the library, after having a hook-up here. She always has crazy stories of where shes done stuff, and you’re pretty sure at this point it’s definitely a kink for her. You always thought it was crazy, and you never thought you’d find yourself following in her footsteps. You’ll have to thank her later you guess. And pray she wasn’t lying.

“H-here?” Your boyfriend whispers as you glance around cautiously. You look at him curiously.

“You don’t want to? We can always wait till later if you-“ before you can even finish your suggestion, he’s shaking his head to answer.

“That bad, hm?” You say and lean your back against the shelf behind you, signaling him with your hand to come to you. He does and you caress his chest, down to his stomach and pelvis, massaging little circles there as you continue to look around a bit more. You love the way he reacts to your touch, fidgety and sensitive. His forehead rests against yours as you with his hands resting comfortably on your hips.

“We should be safe here, no one ever comes to this section and none of the cctv cameras can see.” You reassure him and you look back at him again.

“How do you know that-“ He goes to ask but knows the answer as soon as you give him a look. He knows about that friend of yours, from your stories. “Oh. Nevermind.”

Your hands finally move to start caressing the bulge in his pants, and he takes a startled inhale, immediately pushing his face into your neck again. He likes to do that a lot when you two get intimate, it made him feel like he’s closer. And he loves being able to smell you. God forbid he ever smelled your perfume while he’s out on his own, he’d be turned on immediately.

“You really worked yourself up, huh? You’re extra sensitive today.” You whisper to him as you listen to the little noises he’s been making as you continue to massage him through his pants.

“It’s the skirt you bought..” he pushes out to explain himself.

“…Too short?” You ask, a self conscious thought you had before buying it popping up in your mind and then leaving your mouth without needing too. Plus, boyfriends don’t usually want their girlfriends wearing super revealing clothing, right? Maybe it made him uncomfortable.

“No.. I love it so much. You look so good in it. Wear it all the time.” He reassures you desperately, laying your insecurities to rest immediately. You giggle and you don’t know why you were even nervous.

“Clearly I don’t think that’s a good idea, unless we wanna be like my friend and start testing our luck everywhere we go.” You joke, and he laughs lightly in your ear. A shiver tickles your spine.

“Okay, love. What do you want me to do for you? Just tell me.“ You prompt for him. You want to be able to satisfy him in whatever way he feels he needs you right now.

“Mm.. Nothing, jus wanna feel you..” He mumbles as his hands start to move from your waist and caress around all the curves of your body. He stops to grab at your ass when he gets there, and you can feel his neediness with the way his hips make slight jerks forward. Usually he’s always taken a liking to your breasts, but it must really be something about your skirt today driving him crazy. You don’t think you’ve seen him like this.

While he caresses you with his warm hands that you adore feeling on you like this, he starts to kiss your neck too. You let out very faint moans as he does, feeling extra sensitive too now for some reason. You can just feel how badly he wants you and that alone is driving you crazy.

"Yu.." you call out quietly as he's busy leaving you with another hickey. "Shouldn't we make this quick? Not that I don’t love it, but…"

You tell him this partially because you are a bit anxious about getting caught suddenly, but also because you’re really desperate to have him inside you already. You can feel the wetness between your legs getting out of control. He pulls back to look you in the eyes, and you were not expecting him to look as lustful as he does right now. That’s a dangerous look he’s giving you.

“I’m gonna eat you out.. is that okay?” He tells you, almost breathless, and you could moan just hearing him say that. You love when he goes down on you. It feels like heaven every time and you love looking at his eyes when his tongue is deep inside you. Despite this, you’re still a bit unsure.

“Yu.. this is kinda risky, don’t you think we should-“

“Please?” He begs and you know you could never say no to what he’s asking of you right now. This is literally a situation straight out of a wet dream.

“Okay.. but-“ before you can even tell him to be quick, he pushes his lips to yours with excitement. Your tongues entwine and you feel his fingers come down to rub at your slit. He can feel how wet you are now, and it only makes him kiss you harder, more desperate. You have to grab his shoulders when he’s suddenly slipping three fingers into you at once. He swallows your moans that would definitely had been much too loud otherwise. He pumps into you a few times before pulling out, leaving you feeling empty, needy. You need him inside you again. You whine at his absence as he pulls back from your kiss as well. You’re about to pout at him before you end up watching him put his own fingers in his mouth, getting a taste of you before the full meal. Your face goes red.

“I’ll make you cum quick, promise.” He tells you softly, making butterflies in your stomach as you watch him immediately sink down to his knees. You know he’s being serious about that too, and you’re a bit nervous.

You’re stood right next to where the wall ends and turns the corner, so you peak your head out to make sure no one’s around. There’s nobody, and you cant believe people really never come to this section. Honestly it would be a cute place to sit and read normally.

“Look at me.” Your boyfriend tells you and your attention snaps back to him. He’s already slipped your panties down and you lift your skirt up slightly for him so it’s not in his face as he goes to kiss your clit.

You let out hushed moans as his tongue starts working, circling your clit and playing with you there for a while. Your face must be dark with both the way he’s making you feel and the way he’s looking at you. God that eye contact will get you everytime. His intense sanpaku stare never once looking away from you, taking in every reaction he gets out of you. It’s like he studies you, analyzing what’s making you feel the best, making sure he’s doing a good job. You cant believe how into this he is too, you didn’t think this would be his thing, but he clearly loves it. You never thought when you met this sweet boy that he would be so kinky.

Right now he’s really keeping his word on making it quick, hitting all the right motions he’s already memorized from how many times he’s pleasured you like this. He knows exactly what you like. Normally, he’ll stretch it out anyways, loving getting to have you this way for as long as possible. Seeing all the cute faces you make. Even making you climax on his face multiple times.

His favorite is when you’re about to cum, just like you are now. Your hands are in his hair, pulling at him as if you want him to stop, can’t take it anymore.

“Yuta.. s’too much..” you whisper to him like you do in some variation everytime. Then your thighs start clenching on him, shaking. Your breathing gets quicker. Your hands can’t even muster the energy to pull him anymore, clenching and unclenching fists in his hair. The only thing he doesn’t like about this part is that he can’t talk you through it like he likes to. He wants more than anything in this moment to tell you “You're doing so good, beautiful. Ride it out. I got you.” As your back arches and your body tenses up. But he’s got to stay focused to make sure you feel as good as possible.

He watches you with your mouth covered, head pushed against the bookcase behind you. His hands come up to support your now trembling legs as you start to come down from your high. He thinks he could never get tired of doing this specifically for you.

He lets you breathe for a few moments before standing again. He presses his forehead to yours as you look up at him with those pleasure-riden eyes.

“Y/n…” he says to you softly and you nod. “Sorry but, turn around. Please. Need to fuck you so bad.”

If your cheeks could blush any darker they would. You really love when he’s like this. You do as he says and turn around, his buldge already pressing at your ass as you feel him struggle to get his pants undone. When he does, he wastes no time in rubbing his raw shaft along your extremely wet folds. You shiver and manage to hold in any sound from coming out.

“Ah! H-hold on!” You tell him right before it feels like he’s about to press into you. You cant believe you didn’t think of this. You reach over for your purse and Yuta impatiently continues to rub against you. Looking for the condom in your bag as best you can, it’s not too long before you find it and pull it out. You knew having emergency ones in there would come in handy.

“Here. Put this on at least.” You say, handing it back to him.

He looks confused for a moment, and you know why. The two of you have been fucking raw for a while now. Which, in hindsight is not the best habit to have gotten into. But you suppose that was your risky kink, both of yours.

“Yu, we’re gonna make a mess if we don’t use it.” You reason with him, already hearing the protests probably circling in his head. You hear him whine just slightly, but he takes it. He knows you’re right.

As he’s putting it on you start to worry about yourself and getting caught again. You’ve never exactly been very quiet, and neither has he. At all.

“Try to go slow please.. I’m not sure how well I can keep my voice down if you’re not careful.” You whisper to him, bracing yourself against the bookshelf. You feel Yuta’s hand caress up and around your hips, his face moving up right to your ear.

“You’re right.. if we get caught we might get banned from the library. And then we’d have to study at your place from now on… what a shame that’d be.. right?” He says with a dark tone, and you know exactly what he’s implying. Horny asshole. There’s no way he’s serious.

“I think the penalty would be a lot worse than tha-AT!” You go to warn him but loose control of your voice when he shoves almost his entire length into you at once. Specifically doing the OPPOSITE of what you just asked.

“Yuta!!” You hiss, slapping his shoulder with the back of your hand before he starts moving. “What’d I just tell you?!”

He breaths a silent laugh into your neck “Sorry.. love you.” He says and places a few kisses along your neck and shoulder. You sigh at this and you know you can’t stay mad. Still, that was a surprise as he’s usually very obedient to you with requests like that.

“You’re taking me so good, though.” He adds, pressing a kiss to your cheek as well. You feel him slide in a little more and you both let out shallow breaths. You feel so close to him like this, his body pressed against you, pinning you to the bookcase with nowhere to go. His hands find yours and intertwine, letting you know he’s got you, he’s with you.

Your warmth felt so good around him like this, he didn’t even want to move. But just like before, he knows he’s gotta be quick here. This is what he was begging for and you so graciously allowed him to have. His thrusts go slow the way you asked of him, only picking up pace when he feels the need. The sound of your soft almost-silent moans and the squelching of his cock pumping in and out of you, filling the silence of the corner the two of you have to yourself. He groans and whines quietly into your back as his pace speeds up again, trying harder not to make noise with his motions more than with his mouth.

“Thank you.. fuck, I love you.” He tells you, breathlessly, mindlessly.

“Yuuta.. Ah!” You moan his name, just a little louder than you have been. His hand comes to cover your mouth, but it’s gentle. You know he’s just helping, knowing it’s hard for you to keep quiet like this. He keeps letting praises and curses fall from his mouth like mumbling, fucking into you with as much care as he can. Wanting to make you feel so good but not alert anyone to this private moment, just for the two of you. His hand can barely keep against your mouth, his focus elsewhere. You can hear his labored breathing and small moans that slip out right against your ear, making your hand stand and every part of you feeling sensitive.

“I’m gonna.. ahh.. gonna cum, Yu.” You tell him softly, your mind fogging. You look down below you and the sight is so incredibly lewd, like something you’d find on a nsfw blog. Your panties soaked on the floor beneath you, your feet basically on top of his the way you’re lifted up on your toes.

“Fuck, Please. Cum for me, love. Wanna feel it..” He pleads, fucking you harder now, the sounds getting a bit too loud. “I love you so much. Please. Please, please.”

There’s no way you could hold back your climax if you wanted to with the way he’s begging you like this. Your body complies, as if obedient to him of its own will. Your high ripples through you and you have to slap your hand on top of his to really keep quiet for this.

He doesn’t slow even on your comedown, continuing to fuck your aching hole. Your hands muffle the moans thatd normally be full-on wails if the two of you were home right now.

“Kiss me.” He tells you, his face next to yours already. You both let go and you press you lips to his again. He does his best to help drown out your sounds as he reaches his own high.

“Cumming.. fuck I’m gonna cum.” He whines against your lips, unable to focus on anything else anymore.

“Feels so good Yu.. cum inside me, please.” You plead for him, knowing it makes him feel even better when you praise him.

“I love you.” You finally tell him earnestly, and he echoes it back to you so breathlessly that you could barely make it out.

He thrusts into you one last time, spilling his seed into the condom that he wishes wasn’t there. He wants you to feel him finishing inside you, he’d become addicted to it.

Still, he basks in the way you twitch and squirm against him as he keeps his dick stuffed deep inside you, pressing against your cervix wall.

“Yu..” You whine, knowing he knows what he’s doing. He just wanted to enjoy it a moment longer, that’s all. When he pulls out of you, the both of you gasp a little, breaths heavy and shaking.

At the beginning of this, when you offered to do it in the library, you had not thought it’d be intense like this, and you definitely didn’t consider how your legs would feel afterward. They are shaking and you’re praying Yuta can’t tell because he will most definitely tease you about it. His arms wrap around you as he embraces you one more time.

“After studying, later I’m gonna cum inside you, okay?” He tells you sweetly, like it’s not the totally vulgar sentence that just left his mouth. You scoff in disbelief.

“Are you serious?” You say with amused exasperation.

“We had to use the condom..” He pouts, looking up at you from shoulder level. “I want to give you a creampie like I usually do.”

Good lord, what have you turned this man into?

“Alright, alright.” You tell him, rolling your eyes with a smile. “But only if you actually study with me now. Cmon, put this away.” He flinches when you poke his now half-hard dick, but does as you say anyways.

This is good, now he has some real motivation to work. He studies with you that day harder than he’s probably ever studied in his whole life.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

Aren't you tired of forced romances with no chemistry that only take away from the actually interesting plot? Don't you just want media where romance isn't portrayed as being superior and more important than (queer)platonic relationships?

Well, my exhausted aro ass is too, so here are a few tricks and wisdoms I've gathered over my years of being a-spec (which is all of them) on how to avoid romance (in media) in a very allonormative society 💚🤍🩶🖤

(this is a rec list btw. no I am not shitting on the shows that I tagged, quite the opposite)

1. Middle Grade

I get if you aren't really into that, because it is kind of annoying to be pointed to literal children's literature when all you want is a story that isn't constantly being interrupted by describing the main guy's heated eyes for the twentieth time.

However.

It is true that in middle grade, friendship is always more important than romance. Because, let's face it. Making two eleven year old characters kiss is kinda weird. So even if there is a romance, it isn't very prominent and treated more like friendship and/or a puppy crush. Plus some stories get surprisingly dark?!?!

Examples

- Howl's Moving Castle (Diana Wynne Jones), technically a romance in the end, but mostly focused on found family, shenanigans, and finding your own value

- House of Many Ways (DWJ). Yes, again. I really like her books okay? They always have something so fantastical and whimsical about them. This is my other favorite book by her and it has literally no romance at all. Plus a hmc cameo that is so fun !!

- Coraline (Neil Gaiman). Maybe this is cheating because I never actually read it. However. a) the movie traumatized me. b) Wybie was added to the movie, he doesn't exist in the book, so if "power of friendship" isn't your thing this will be great. Probably vibes over plot.

Flyte (Angie Sage). Technically this is the second book, but I never read the first one and still understood everything. Once again, no romance at all. A fun read, which can get surprisingly dark at times.

2. Short Story Collections

Once again, I get it if it isn't your thing. Short stories are - as the name reveals - short. Which means: no worldbuilding, very limited narrator, open ending, no time to really get attached to characters, etc.

But.

The cool thing about collections, is that they always have a certain theme. And as long as the theme is not romance, romance will not be the focus. Even if there is a romantic relationship, it will be used to explore this theme since there simply isn't time for anything else.

Examples:

Life Ceremony (Sayaka Murata) This is the book that actually made me figure out: hey! I do actually like short stories !! The main theme is basically about being different and it plays a lot with body horror and the perception of your own body in contrast with how society sees it. There is even a story about two women who platonically live together and raised multiple children!

Canterbury Classics: Classic Tales of Horror (introduction by Ernest Hilbert). As the name suggests, this is a collection of horror short stories, featuring well-known authors such as Bram Stoker, Edgar Allan Poe or Charlotte Perkins Gilman. As these are classic old tales, the language is a bit complicated at times and you can read them for free on Gutenberg. However, the book is very very pretty and the introduction is very interesting (Origins of the genre, specific tropes and monsters, etc.)

3. Podcasts

PODCASTS!!! If you follow me, you are probably already aware of those. However, in case you don't, let me introduce you to the wonderful world of Audiodramas.

The cool thing about Podcasts is that pretty much anyone can do it. All you need is an idea, a mic, a lot of motivation, and you're pretty much set to go. No producers or publishers you need to get approval from. So it is only natural that this medium is filled to the brim with queer creators. Basically every character is somewhat queer. It's awesome.

Examples:

- The Silt Verses. I adore TSV. I listened to the first season like, four times. (the second one is good too but OH MY GOD THE FIRST ONE). And one of the main characters is canonically and explicitly aro!! Sister Carpenter, I love you with my whole being. And the great thing is, it is very clear that the writers love her, too!! There is a lot (like a LOT) of body horror so it isn't for everybody. But if you think you can handle it I really recommend it. (Plus, not any romance plotlines at all !!)

- Wolf 359. This is one of the older ones and it is really good. It's a bunch of restless and very unwell people stuck in a spaceship under the unforgiving rule of capitalism. However bad you imagine it, I can assure you it is worse. But the really cool thing is that there literally isn't any romance at all. Like, there are great m/f friendships but they never even hint towards a romance. Some people are so unused to that that they literally ship the main dude with the fucking robot AI. (don't worry, not an actual romance plot).

- Girl in space. I am sure you will be absolutely shook to know that this one also takes place in space. It is about a girl. In space. Shocking, I know. Except that she has been on her own for well over a year when suddenly a fleet of strange ships arrive and kidnap her. There is also a very asshole-y robot. And questions about what makes us human. And found family!! And a goat. And cheese. Just go listen to it okay. This is also one of the shortest ones of the list, so maybe a good start.

- Malevolent. I have to confess that I personally am not a huge fan of this one? Like the premise is really cool - a detective who wakes up blind and with a demon in his head who can see through the detectives eyes. What the fuck?, you may ask yourself. So does Arthur Lester. Mysteries and other dimensions and a whole lot of pain ensues. Harlan is undeniably an awesome VA and a great writer, but his stories just seem a bit too repetitive to me? Nonetheless I know of lots of people who enjoy it a lot. Trying to define the relationship between Arthur and John (his demon) is perhaps the biggest mystery of them all. (Jk. there are multiple murders and stuff. they've really got other priorities)

- Middle:Below. This is another short one and probably the least famous of this list? It's about this funky lil dude with a ghost roommate and a cat who can talk (.....or can it?). There is a m/f friendship but it never turns into a romance (wow it is possible!!). They all go on adventures on the dimension between life and death. Despite the description, this is literally just a comedy. A bit spooky at best. Reminds me a bit of scarier kids cartoons like gravity falls.

4. "Gay" movies/series in countries with homophobic censorship

Now you may think, "hey that seems like a bit of an asshole move!". And you would be 100% correct in thinking that.

However.

It does also mean that the main relationship of the story can never be explicitly romantic. They can allude to it, they can try to show it. But they can never confirm. So it is very easy to interpret them as having a QPR. (because tbh I don't think I've ever seen one on television.)

Examples:

The Untamed. Look. I am aware that the first episode is so fucking atrocious, all right? And no, the CGI does in fact never get better. And sometimes the translated subtitles are a bit awkward. But I swear that it is so good. Trust me on this one, okay? Just make it through the first ep. It's a wild ride. Lan Zhan I love you. (However the book it is based on (written by a woman) depicts them being in an explicitly romantic relationship, with lots of very inaccurate and badly researched smut, so the fandom pretty much sees them as exclusively romantic.)

- Word of Honor. Very much in the same vein as The Untamed. Except that the first episode is less horrible. And the one dude has a very fruity fan. And they also raise a kid together. And the costumes of the villains are really fun!! I actually never finished this one tbh. I know that the book it is based on has one very extremely terrible ableist plot point, but I don't know if that made it into the show since I never got that far

The Devil Judge. The last two were fantasy, this one is a dystopia. Very tense and interesting. There is a romantic subplot (typical childhood friend vs bad boy love triangle), but he rejects the childhood friend and they can't exactly show him and the "bad boy" (who is actually a judge. and also kinda his sugar daddy) as explicitly romantic for the reason above. They also live in the same house and cook together and take care of a child together. Can totally recommend.

Assassination Classroom. A bunch of students have to kill their teacher who is an alien. that's literally the plot. I cried so hard at the finale. Nagisa and Karma have MASSIVE vibes and you can't convince me otherwise. (There is a romantic subplot that does end in a kiss, but they agree to continue as friends since those were..... extenuating circumstances. The dude very clearly is not into her). Nagisa also very aro-spec coded imo.

5. "Straightbaiting" Anime

Sometimes Anime does this thing (which I personally find very hilarious) where a boy and a girl will have no other romantic involvements or love interests while growing closer and closer, but never get together. A bit like reverse queerbaiting.

Examples:

- Fairy Tail. The ultimate power is friendship anime. That is all you need to know. (I should also perhaps warn you that the end of the last arc (and the sequel series, but we don't talk about that) are huge letdowns. Like the buildup? So good. But....welp. If that doesn't bother you too much and the idea to have a group of people be the main character instead of one person only, this may be the series for you. Just do yourself a favor and skip all the filler arcs

Soul Eater. I really love the vibes of this one. Once again, most of the fandom likes depicting them as explicitly romantic, but they never canonically are. It also reminds me a bit of creepy children cartoons. It is also where the superior fictional school exists, Devon. Frankenstein teaches there (the dude, not the monster). People transform into badass weapons. Nobody can convince me that Make Albarn is not a trans woman. However the ending deviates a bit from the manga, and I personally think the anime one is a bit worse

Noragami. This one will always hold a special place in my heart because it was the first anime I really watched. This one also has people who transform into weapons, but the vibes are very different. It goes a bit more into Japanese folklore in case that interests you.

Bonus: Canonically Aro/Heavily Aro-Coded Characters

They were not anywhere above because the stories they are in didn't really fit any of the categories. But they exist!

Wolf (Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts). I adore Wolf. There is also barely any romance. Like, it will seem like it at first, but don't worry, it's only straightbaiting. There is a romance subplot but it's very brief and very much in the background. Overall very good aro show 👍

Isaac (Heartstopper) Very queer show, very high likelihood that you already know of it. The series per se is very romance focused, but as far as I've heard the a-spec rep in S2 is really good

Georgia (Loveless). Actually never read it. But, well. Title pretty self-explanatory dare I say. By the same author as Heartstopper (Alice Oseman)

Chance/Chris and Shadow/Ryan (woe.begone) Are explicitly in a QPR together !! they are also probably the healthiest couple in the podcast lol

Henry Clerval (Frankenstein). Henry is the "a couple of besties!!" to Victor's "we look like a couple <3"

Barbie (Barbie 2023) If you've seen it you know what I mean.

Jo Marsh (Little Women). I never read the book, but Jo in the 2019 movie??? very sus.

I would also recommend checking out Japanese books! I personally think they are much better at writing romance than the western people lol. It's more about knowing each other and sharing your views of the world, thus changing each other and leaving a mark forever, even if the relationship ends. (studio ghibli romance vibes). My favorite Japanese book doesn't have an English translation :(

aber an alle Deutsch-Sprecher*innen: Die Katzen von Shinjuku (Durian Sukegawa) -> og title: Shinjuku no Neko

Can't think of anything else right now, but please leave some of your own recommendations! Hope this helps ^^

[cookiesforsigma]

✧Fyodor Centered Headcanons // dating✧

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairing: Fyodor Dostoevsky x Gn!Reader

Genre: Fluff, Comfort

Warnings: none

W/c: 1.5k

A/n: I actually did this in one sitting my body hurts from staying still for so long ahhh also this is my first post and im not a good writer ok. i rly hope Fyodor isn't ooc here

--Fyodor dating headcanons--

1. General + fluff

— I think we all know he's not the most romantic/affectionate lover (though he's so attractive, in your eyes, he's a gentleman).

— Even after you start dating him, Fyodor will still be (cold?) formal to you. He somehow still manages to show his affection towards you in this manner.

— He's softer around you than he is around anybody.

— He prefers giving you attention when you're alone rather than in public.

— He's a bit obsessed with you. Fyodor is so used to getting what he wants, so he has slight yandere tendencies.

— To him, his lover is most precious.

— He lets you wear his ushanka (his hat) and his coat, and he secretly thinks you look adorable dressed like him. He'd never outright admit it, of course.

— Fyodor probably will not make the first move. By that I mean he won’t kiss you unless you kiss him, but that only applies before your first kiss. He does see you staring though.

— He sometimes teases you and acts mean on purpose just to get a reaction out of you. Fyodor thinks you look so cute when you're mad at him and hug a pillow instead of hugging him, but he can't stand being ignored. He'll apologize soon.

— He's extremely observant. He is always able to read you like an open book.

— And don't think he doesn't notice anything you do. Whether it's a small act of affection like brushing your knuckles against his 'by accident', smiling more or less than usual or fidgeting, he notices all of it. Not in a creepy way though.

— Speaking of, he loves small acts of affection. He's almost always holding your hand, he gives you small kisses, and he strokes your hair sometimes.

- - - ♡ - - -

Holding your hand;

— Gosh, he's almost always holding your hand. He especially loves when you intertwine your fingers. He isn't big on physical touch, so this is a great way for him to feel closer to you.

— Sometimes, if he doesn't feel like it, he won't let go of your hand as it is 'such a bother'. Even after your hands become sweaty, you'll have to beg him to let go. Because he won't. (not willingly)

— Fyodor doesn't do a lot of pinky holding. He wants to feel your palms against his. Plus, his hands are always cold because of his anemia, and holding hands properly is the best way to keep him warm (outside of cuddle sessions).

- - - ♡ - - -

Kisses;

— He adores soft kisses. He's also not much of a lip kisser. His favorite places to kiss you are your cheek and forehead (and your hand, on rare occasions).

— He sometimes has bursts of affection, mostly after a long day at work, but they are very small and they don't last very long. It'd hurt his ego if he showed his desperation for your love.

— These small bursts of affection are the moments he gives you kiss attacks.

— Passionate kisses only happen during makeout sessions, which, of course, happen later in the relationship. I'd say it's worth the wait, given that he's an incredibly good kisser and his passionate kisses are so passionate. (obv they are im so stupid.)

— Don't expect him to kiss you first though. Fyodor rarely ever makes the first move.

— But he does notice you staring at his lips, expecting him to kiss you.

— He has a habbit of biting his nails, so it's difficult not to stare.

— And his lips are extremely soft. And warm. Any wait you have to go through, it's worth it.

- - - ♡ - - -

Playing with your hair;

— If you have long hair, he absolutely loves it. It's classic of him to prefer long hair, don't you think?

— If you have short hair, that's fine too. Your hair length does not determine how much he loves you by any means. He just thinks your hair is such a delicate thing about you.

— If you have long hair though, you can expect him to stare. A lot.

— Fyodor loves seeing you with your hair untied, or seeing the different hairstyles you try, even if you just put your hair up lazily, he thinks any hairstyle looks good on you.

— He's not always touching your hair, but it makes him happy when you let him brush it, play with it, or try new hairstyles on you.

— He'll only brush your hair after a shower or if you ask him to, play with it when he feels like it, braid it when he thinks it'll get tangled. He doesn't play with your hair 24/7, as I said, but he's always more than happy to if you ask him.

- - - ♡ - - -

Sitting/laying your head on his lap and vice versa;

— Fyodor doesn't mind if you sit on his lap or lay your head on his thigh while he works. In fact, he actually likes it.

— He'd be a little surprised as he's very touch starved and he'll find it difficult to relax, but he will for your comfort.

— These are the moments he'll run his fingers through your hair and pat your head gently (and awkwardly). But you love the feeling of his hands, there's no way you could ever complain.

— Fyodor will also brush your hair out of your face and maybe kiss your hand, but after you fall asleep.

— He never gets enough rest, which is why you'll just go to sleep on his lap most of the time. But you still get chances to sleep with him.

— He'll let you sleep peacefully if it's a short afternoon nap, but at night he'll snuggle with you after he finishes his work.

— He's too cocky to lay his head on your lap. Again, it'd hurt his ego. So you'd have to ask him to do that.

— Making him sit on your lap is out of the question.

— If you manage to get him to lay his head on your thigh and you want him to do it again sometime, you need to stroke his hair and maybe bend down to give him a kiss.

— Oh God he's definitely doing this again.

— He doesn't like being put in 'vulnerable' positions, but he can't help it when your fingers massage that one spot on his head.

— After the first time he falls asleep on your lap, he won't even bother asking. He'll just sit you down somewhere and tell you he's sleepy, and then wait to be taken care of.

— Of course, this is the kind of thing Fyodor would only do in private, and he'd appreciate it if you didn't try to do this in front of anyone either.

- - - ♡ - - -

Spending time together;

— Fyodor's quite introverted, so he'd prefer an introverted s/o. Even if you're not introverted, as long as you're not loud, he's fine with it.

— The reason I'm mentioning this is because he wants the two of you to be able to enjoy each other's company in silence sometimes.

— He can play his cello for you while you work on something, he can play with your hair while you read a book, or you could cuddle and take a nap.

— Fyodor doesn't always feel the need to hold a conversation to enjoy your presence. He knows you're next to him, and that's enough for him.

- - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - -

2. Comfort

— Let's be honest now... He sucks at comforting people. (how am i going to write this..)

— He's never dealt with anyone crying before, let alone a person he cares about.

— The difference between a crying person and a crying person he cares about is that he's scared of hurting the feelings of the person he cares about. (makes sense? no.)

— Fyodor won't struggle to comfort you as long as you're not crying. He'll buy you food if you want, he'll play chess/card games with you, he'll play his cello for you, he'll give you his hat... He will just do this best to cheer you up.

— But he's aware that if you start crying, cheering you up is not the right solution. He's going to try to hold you and let you cry in his arms.

— He won't talk much. He really wouldn't know what to say in situations like these.

— There's a chance he'll complain about you getting his clothes wet...? I'm so sorry but it sounds like something he'd do. Not always though.

— He cares about you, but he doesn't feel the need to remind you, as it'd make him feel awkward and he knows you're aware of that already.

— Fyodor is still going to hold you for as long as you need.

— He'll ask you what the matter is, and he'll be fine with it if you don't want to answer. He'll probably make you a drink or try to cheer you up once you've stopped crying.

— He'll hold you some more if needed.

— If you do decide to tell him what's bothering you, he might think it's not worth crying over. Depends if it's an insecurity or someone's death.

— If it is an insecurity Fyodor will give you some praise and compliments, but again, 'it's a pathetic reason to cry'.

— He's not good at giving advice if that's what you need.

— But he'll listen and hold you, even if he doesn't openly admit he cares for you as much as he really does.

- - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - - ♡ - - -

[wolfnesta]

I’ve sort of stopped posting rant peices because meh I feel like everything that’s needed to be said has been said but I just kind of caught myself analyzing SJM’s writing after my reread of the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes and it led me to a comparison that somewhat allowed me to pin point why I just couldn’t really get into Feyre’s character. This is not anti Feyre before people get carried away but I do suggest you ignore this post if you’re a diehard fan even if it’s mostly an SJM critique.

For context during my first read of acotar I was a hardcore Hunger Games fan (the books because I loathe the movies). I’m talking obsessed since even before Mockingjay, the book, came out. And so Feyre somewhat gave me Katniss vibes with the whole bow and arrow/hunting theme but I say somewhat because the whole theme was ditched after the first few pages of acotar. Which isn’t a problem I mean they’re two different characters, two different stories, two different genres. (Note: absolutely no one can compare to Katniss. Additionally, Sarah can’t compare to Suzanne. But that’s just me) So the reason I still chose to do this comparison is because it sort of helped me understand why I could obsess over one character but reject the other when they hold similar traits. I think the best way I could describe it is from the beginning Suzanne Collins created a distinction between the protagonist and the situation which is so important because this allows the reader to understand details of characters surrounding Katniss and her demise while also understanding the responses she has to them as her own character. Maybe a bit confusing so let me give an example. It is explained why certain characters play a hand in Katniss’s demise like her mother, the tributes, her mentors etc very clearly, as in, we can grasp all the tragedies of their own while also understanding Katniss’s response to them separate than the readers eg. Katniss never being able to forgive her mother’s neglect at the same time that the reader understands the mother had untreated depression, the Careers trying to kill her with malicious intent but also understanding they’re basically puppets of the Capitol, Haymitch being a detoriating alcoholic she finds culpable for the lack of District winners but also knowing it’s his only way to cope with his ptsd. Anything about those characters after that is character development from what was already clearly established, more examples: the reveal of Finnick Odair’s promiscuity then learning he was being sold for sex, realizing Johanna’s lack of self preservation is because everyone she loved was murdered, and basically the whole entire book for President Snow’s character in The Balllad of Songbirds and Snakes which wasn’t even a redemption story it was just— 🤌

Whereas Sarah decides to bring up things at random when readers are suppose to have already made up their minds about Feyre’s demise. Cue in Tamlin going from having decent qualities to sudden complete douche, Nesta’s spiteful comments to suddenly she’ll save her, Lucien being a friend to suddenly he’s in debted to her, heck even —no especially Rhys’s ‘did bad things but turns out they were all for the greater good’ characterization throughout the books and everything he does is fine because of it. Because SJM uses Feyre as a way to make the readers believe how bad/good so and so is vs Suzanne who uses Katniss to provide to readers how Katniss believe’s so and so is. Then the way Sarah throws vague cryptic things to make characters seem traumatized which I’d go as far as to say is cringe borderline disrespectful the way they seem to be presented just for ‘aesthetic’ purposes instead of the very real things those topics entail (I’m looking at you Nesta’s SA plus others) but that’s another topic, I’m derailing.

Which is why I will definitely always say that from the very beginning of acotar the whole Elain and Nesta constituting Feyre’s wicked family trope fell extremely flat to me. Like I was completely unbothered— I couldn’t even bring myself to dislike them because it felt almost too obvious the way they were written plus the lack of explanation as to why?? There is this disconnection because sjm doesn’t clearly explain their behavior until way later which results in just a weird retcon type situation. Not only that but she goes on to build from it giving the sisters more importance in the series.

But whatever, that’s just my opinion. Which I’m sure has been said before in different terms.

Yet still I enjoyed Feyre book 1, although, as I made myself complete the series it seems by acosf she’s almost entirely different except for her self sacrificing qualities that tend to remain in all MC’s. I mean I really don’t think Feyre book 1 or maybe even book 2 would’ve let Rhys get away with that horrid pregnancy trope thing going on but 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not the owner of any of these characters so. In the end she’s an okay character to me, she’s a determined, loving person, but I just wouldn’t consider her a fave of mine.

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Imagine one day you leave your diary out and your yandere admire notices it. They can't resist reading it every day when you are gone.

Lately you can't help but notice how you are getting closer to [character of authors choice!]. You just seem to have so much in common. Maybe too much...

Will our yandere admirer be able to use the diary to trap reader in a relationship or will it be discovered?

Good luck on your writing. I'm enjoying your stuff!

Ahhhhhhhhhh tysm!!

I'm doing this with Jack bc I've barely done aaanything with Savannaclaw yet.

Warning(s): yandere Jack, stalking

One day, Jack realized you'd left a book on the table.

What kind of book is it? What is it about? What's the genre?

Jack opened the book, and saw the pages were all hand-written... and they seemed to mirror real life- oh, this is your diary isn't it?

...it might not be the right thing to do, but... it wouldn't hurt if he used this to get a bit closer to you, right?

No. No, it wouldn't...

You've noticed something recently. You and Jack actually have a lot of things in common!

He likes the shows you like, he likes the games you like (which is interesting since you didn't peg Jack as the kind of guy who likes video games), he likes the music you like, he likes the genres of movies and books you like... you're so much more compatible than you'd thought before!

It's so interesting.

Jack was a good friend before, but you never thought that you two could ever be a thing... and now, it's like you two were made for each other.

It's almost suspicious.

It's like myth of boiling a frog.

The myth goes that if you put the frog in the boiling water right away, it'll freak out and jump out of the pot. However, if you put the frog in the water before it starts boiling, and let it boil slowly while the frog is in it, it won't notice until it's too late.

Jack was using your diary to his advantage.

And if he's lucky, much like a boiling frog, you won't realize until it's too late.

One day though, you found your diary was missing.

With all the shady people who attend Night Raven College, you were very worried that someone might've stolen it.

As Jack was such a good friend, you believed you could confide in him. So, you made your way to Savannaclaw, and to Jack's room.

You told him about how your diary was missing, and how you were worried it'd end up in the wrong hands. The person you were most worried about finding it was a certain eight-legged businessman...

But then, you saw something on Jack's bedside table.

"Jack, is that... my diary...?"

"...no." Jack responded, quite obviously lying.

"Jack, w-why do you have my diary?"

"Ok. Listen, (Y/N), I know this seems bad, but-"

"Jack, tell me why you have my diary!"

"I-it's not what you think! I just... found it, and I was trying to, y'know, keep it safe for you!"

"Oh. You... you were...?" You asked, slightly suspicious.

"Yes, of course!" Jack responded. "Why would I lie to you?"

...he has a point.

Jack isn't the type of person who would lie to you, so he's probably telling the truth.

"Well, thanks for keeping it safe, Jack." You said, grabbing your diary. "See you later."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief the moment you left his room.

He'll have to make sure to be more careful next time.

On the plus side: you believed him!

You believed him, which means you love him enough to excuse his clearly suspicious behaviour.

And that means... it's working.

Thank goodness!

Soon enough, the two of you will have a wonderful relationship you can't esape from, even if you try.

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

A mighty good team

(Happy Veterans/Armistice Day, y’all, let’s keep peace in our minds, hearts, and prayers.)

When - immediately following ‘Oh my.’ after you saw that little plus sign on Lori’s pregnancy test. It takes place during the night of S02 Cherokee Rose.

What - that seed of worry about your big brother being a ‘cause for concern’ grows a whole lot bigger when you put two and two together about the new bun in the oven. But it’s okay, Daryl had beers right? You’ll just chug whatever he’s got left so you can get out of your head, right? So long as you don’t topple over on the way to his tent!

Relationships - you and your mangy hick make a mighty good team, just sayin’. As well, you comfort Lori, so three cheers for siblingly/non-romantic love. You also make a cop joke to Rick and Shane.

Genre - i dunno, but there’s plenty of platonic fluff once y’all make your way to Daryl’s tent.

Perspective - You x Him

Pronouns - they/them, feminine implied imo

TWs - language, stress related to the Shane/Lori/Rick baby situation as well as Lori reacting with rejection fueled by fear regarding having another child, and Daryl drank 4 beers

Word count - Quit clucking like a mother hen. Lol, don’t worry, it’s about 3,400, so even shorter than the last one, which was shorter than I tend to do. Do I get a prize in the morning? :D

Refs to other stories - tinnitus following too much ibuprofen, how you and Daryl use the ‘idiot’ and ‘bitch’ to insult one another when squabbling because you hate being called ‘idiot’ and he hates being called ‘bitch.’ Check out ‘Oh my.’ so you know what the little fireside nap dream was.

And there are more references, but thankfully we have a: Link to the Masterlist so you can read up and turn into a bonafide Slowpoke! There’s a Ko-fi link, too, if you can spare something to help me pay toward my tires.

You

“Lori.”

“Y/N—” she stammers, but you’re too busy squeezing her again as all your worries melt away. She’s pregnant! After all this time, she’s finally pregnant again!

You’re smiling ear to ear and even crying a happy tears. “Lori, aw, don’t you make that face, this is wonderful news!” you nearly squeal even as you try to keep your voice quiet. “D-does Rick know yet? I’m so—I’m so happy I could scream! What about Carl, you must be—it must be very early days! Four weeks at most, must be?”

She’s crying too. But you see that those aren’t happy tears.

Oh, Lori. She must be scared out of her mind with worry. Can’t fault her there. “Lore, shh, come here.” You sidle up close to her and brush her hair back from her face. “We found a doctor—well, a vet, but he knows his stuff—and Miss Patricia is a nurse. We found a safe place here. And hey, at this rate, we might will find more survivors who have medical training!” you babble, trying to give comfort but meaning every word. “And Glenn and me, we’ll take a team, go to the nearest library or college, g-get us books on, on childbirth and the um, the VBAC stuff, the blood type incompatibility stuff, all that—”

She keeps crying quietly, barely making a sound. You rub her back and flip off and on from thinking thank you over and over to what can I say to help her?

This is wonderful news. Unexpected, scary, but good.

“This ain’t bad news, Lore. I promise.”

She tries to nod and ends up stammering, “I can’t tell Rick,” as if she’s done something wrong.

Red flag.

“What do you mean?”

She’s even quieter when she whispers, “Shane can’t know.” Her voice sounded frightened when she said that part.

Red flag, red flag.

The seed of dread in your stomach is beginning to bud.

Oh, Shane, what have you done? What does your brother have to do with this?

Red flag, red flag, red flag.

You don’t ask anything else, your brain is working too fast for your mouth to work at the moment. The ringing in your ears gets louder. The wooziness worsens even though you’re seated.

Then the connection meets and the waving red flags come to a halt.

You’re…you’re uncertain if the conclusion you drew will insult her. It’s not your intention.

The buds of dread begin to open as you gently and softly ask, “Would you say you’re four weeks along, or maybe a little further?”

Rick came back about four weeks ago. But…you know Shane and she had gotten close. Maybe ‘close’ meant rather closer than you’d assumed.

Neither Shane nor Lori said anything to you about it. You get why.

And…goddammit, you’re angry at Shane (When will he learn? When?), as much as you wish you weren’t. You can’t deny that; but you can understand how it would have happened.

The world ended. Relationships have been on speed-mode, be it friendship, love, or hatred. And Lori is beautiful, your brother is good-looking, and they’ve known each other for decades.

It even could’ve just been down to wanting a release or comfort, you reckon, just look at what happened with Glenn and Maggie today.

And Lori, she had thought she was a widow. Rick was dead, you’d all thought so! And that was after he’d already been in a coma for a month before the world fell apart.

Her face is buried in her lap. She curls in on herself before confessing it.

“I c-could be up to six weeks.”

Oh my.

The dread blooms.

You breathe in, out.

In. Out.

Resting a hand on her back, you stare unblinking at your backpack. “How long have you been carryin’ this alone, Lori,” you murmur, “before taking that test?”

Her hands are gripping her hair as she sniffs in reply, “Just a week. It, it was after we had the goose that I wanted to find a test, b-but…” Her hands cover her face and she bends her knees to her chest.

Your memories hop back to about a week or so ago, after you and Daryl bagged the Canada goose.

As it was cooking, she wasn’t doing too well with the smell. But even domesticated meat can smell kinda nasty when it’s cooking, so you never considered that it could be something more—and when she couldn’t really stomach the meat, you just chalked it up to it not tasting very edible.

And she’s been tired, but everyone has been to some degree. And it’s possible she really is only four weeks; she knew very early with Carl and one of the ones who didn’t make it. But in the event she’s five or six weeks…well, it’s not like she could consider a late period as a sign right now. Cycles have been going haywire since the outbreaks due to all the stress, dietary and exercise changes, and, and…oh, Lori. What do I say, what do I say?

“Rick won’t hate you or blame you.”

She’s trembling. “I don’t want to hurt him.”

“He loves you.”

“But I can’t do this,” she almost snaps. “Condemn another child to a world like this? How could—I-I can’t, I can’t.”

At that, you feel a chill. That’s not good to hear.

You place your fingers over the spot where you’re stitched up from the same fragments that nearly took your Carl away. “Comfort and safety, even good health couldn’t ever be guaranteed,” you hush. “Even before all this, Lore. And you won’t be doing it alone, you’ll have all of us. Hell or high water.”

“B-but what am I gonna do?”

Shushing delicately, you rest your head on hers and can only think to answer, “Let us help you sleep and eat enough, for a start.”

Her breath catches and she releases a suppressed sob into her lap.

The unspoken problem of your brother is still raising its invisible hand.

Your family wasn’t the type who placed too much focus on blood, how could you?, but the context is different when it comes to fostering and adoption.

This is a somewhat stickier situation. And Shane is…Shane. He’ll get very possessive protective of what he’d think was ‘his,’ at least biologically.

What do I say, what do I say?

“Rick will be so happy that there’s another one in there,” you whisper, smiling. “Carl will be so excited.”

She shakes her head and whispers back, “Shane.”

Inhale. Exhale. Swallow. “Like me, he’ll be overjoyed about our new niece or nephew.”

Pulling away, her eyes meet yours and delve deep as if she’s searching for something. “He has to know it’s Rick’s.”

Holding her gaze and trying not to cry, you nod once. “He will.”

“It’s Rick’s,” she repeats under her breath. “It’s Rick’s…"

You close your eyes and send up more prayers for help as you press your forehead to hers.

Then you recall that strange dream you had by the fire and get another chill when you consider how oddly well it fits.

.........................

Him

He had a fourth beer. Chugged it down once he got back to his tent. All he’s got right now to show for it is that slightly warm feeling in his belly. Still barely even got any spins, must be weak-ass beer.

So long as it gets him sleeping.

...........................

You

Nope, sleep is gonna be impossible. This is way too much thinking before bed and your high pulse is making the ringing louder. You’ve got the mp3 player on but even the lowest setting feels too loud because of the clanging in your ears.

Where’s Daryl?

Daryl had beers. That was an eight-pack you saw back at the campfire, right? Yeah. And if there are none left, well, he’s somehow adept at getting you zen (usually after you squabble, but fuck it).

Thoughts are buzzing around your head like flies around a melted snow cone.

Lori is pregnant, and you’re thrilled to bits about it but…Shane’s possibly the biological father…and, fuck it, Shane is a cause for concern…and Sophia is alone for her fourth night in the woods or wherever she is, if she even ‘is’ anymore…and Carl just had major trauma and surgery…and if Mr. Greene finds out about what Maggie and Glenn did, how will he react?…

Not to mention that today you were in a flood-zone during a rainstorm so kept imagining how Dad got washed away and drowned in one, and this is after you had nightmares all last night reliving finding Mama dead and walking seconds before you killed that man.

Too much thinking, too much thinking, and now you’re regretting eating that oatmeal because your stomach feels queasy. If you didn’t know any better, you’d be convinced the roof of your tent was swirling!

But it’s okay, (it’s okay), it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okayyy. It’s. Okay.

Because Daryl had beers.

You’re gonna go ask for one, right now. Dale’s got scotch, sure, but you don’t know where it is and Dale might could be in bed already. And he turned your request down last night, so you’d have to steal sneak some, and if he catches you, he’ll only want to be all, you know, decent and fatherly and caring and shit, therefore won’t be down for you chugging straight from the bottle because you need to get out of your head!

So screw the idea that you shouldn’t have any alcohol after your painkiller miscalculation, the doc gave you the charcoal, so it’s fine, right?

Oh, that’s right, you don’t give a hoot anymore.

After clicking the music player off and yanking the earbuds out, you grit your teeth in pain as you sit up, then zip down and punch open the flap door to your little camo tent and—oh, people are still awake?

Huh.

…What time is it?

Even Jimmy’s still out. Glenn is still talking about something with him, Patricia and Carol are sitting by each other. Rick is finally outside by the fire, too. And Shane is back as well.

He and Rick aren’t sitting close. That’s been a growing problem and heck if it ain’t about to get bigger.

You grab the raggedy blanket from the corner of your tent and try to ignore how dizzy you feel when you move. You carefully walk to the campfire. Then you take Shane’s hand as you ask, “Rick, what’s the time?”

“Quarter past nine. Hey, um, did Hershel talk to you about his idea for Carl?”

…It’s only 9:15?

Blinking in disbelief that’s it’s not 1a.m., you resume what you were doing and plop your brother down next to Rick before remembering to answer, “He did, but um—too much thinking before bed ain’t advisable, so lemme just tuck you two in, we can chat in the mornin’.”

As you lay the blanket on their legs, Shane stifles a groan, knowing what’s coming. The hard lines in Rick’s forehead smooth out and he smothers a laugh, knowing what’s coming. Andrea’s amused hum clues you in that she’s noticed, and you glance over to see her smirking while finishing what’s in her beer bottle.

You look at your brothers. “Should I say, it or?”

It’s Rick who pushes his nose up with his pointer finger. It’s Shane who loses the try-not-to-smile war and outs with: “Pigs in a blanket, yeah?”

..............................

Him

Come on, sleep. Come on, sleep. Come on, sleep.

He wishes he had an I Spy book or some shit. Ha, he still can’t believe that worked that time, clear knocked him out.

Maybe if he had some weed? But Merle and him used it up the first two weeks of the world fucking ending.

There was some…there was some of the hard stuff left. Saw it in the saddlebag when he remembered the pills for T-Dog. Except blow amps you up, it doesn’t chill you out.

Damn, he’s considering using? Dramatic Darylina, just chug a fifth beer and zen the hell up, little bitch.

He fumbles around for his skinning knife, clicks on his flashlight, picks up the last beer and jimmies the cap off. Except he’s not two gulps down when he hears a quiet, “Oh, he is awake. Daryl?”

Y/N is here? Excitedly zipping the door open, he sees them turn around to face him but suddenly crouch/waver as if they’re about to fall over.

“Howdy. May I take you up on that pragmatic beer now?”

“Why you all crouched like that?” he grunts.

“I’m a tad dizzy.”

“Why?”

“’Cause my ears are ringin’.”

“Still?”

“It’s like Quasimodo is in there or somethin’.” They point with their thumb toward the treeline. “Accidentally took too many painkillers back at the old couple’s house off the trail.”

Shit, do they need their stomach pumped or something? And why is he starting to panic?

“It’s just ibuprofen, Dary-bear, plus the doc already gave me charcoal as a precaution, it’s all good,” they drone. “Might could I please have a beer?”

Aren’t you not supposed to mix painkillers and alcohol? And wait, Y/N knows that stuff, they mentioned it earlier. Plus, there was only one left and he’d—damn, of course he’d opened it.  

“This is the last one,” he lamely replies.

“But there were two left…” they trail off. There’s this look on their face he can’t quite place. “Oh Daryl, how many did you have tonight?”

“…Four,” he tells them, feeling weirdly like a kid caught doing something he shouldn’t.

They nod to the bottle in his hand. “Is that your fifth?”

Did they just use a teacher voice with him? And not even an annoyed high school teacher voice, that right there was a kindergarten-teacher-telling-the-students-it’s-nap-time voice.

“What about it?”

He hears them tut and watches them frown before saying, “Hand it over.”

“Quit cluckin’ like a mother hen.”

“Quit screwin’ with your liver.”

“Coming from the idiot who took too many painkillers and wanted to wash it down with beer?”

“That’ll mess with the kidneys and stomach long-term, bitch, not the liv—” snips from their mouth until they realize what they just admitted. At first, they look confused. Then, they chuckle as if something was funny.

“Y’all good down there?” Shane’s voice calls from the campfire. Were the two of them arguing that loud?

“Ugh, fuck me,” Daryl grumbles to himself and takes another swig of his beer.

“Shane don’t swing that way, sorry,” is the furthest thing from what he expected Y/N to respond, and he snarfs up some beer accordingly while Y/N waves to their brother and gives him a thumbs up.

Cracking up, Y/N sighs, then moves from their crouched position onto their butt and sharply inhales when they do because it probably made their stitches ache. “���Quit clucking like a mother hen’ was really funny, by the way.”

“Mhm, I’m here to entertain,” he grits back, both annoyed that he just snarfed up his beer and yet trying not to laugh too openly.

Their eyes flit to the bottle.

He *grumble* offers it to them. They bite their lip and shake their head. “That weren’t exactly my intention anymore.”

He glances at the bottle and…*grumble* then finds himself twisting his wrist so the beer pours out onto the grass. “Pain in the ass.”

............................

You

Beer now watering (intoxicating?) the grass, Daryl scoots back and reclines in his tent, adjusting his back to get comfortable. To your annoyance and concern, you’re intrigued at how his body moved kinda cat-like and how his arms look rather nice above his head like that.

“So, what’s the big secret?” he slurs just a tad.

The big secret? Did he see you and Lori go into your tent and assume—how would he have—???

“We didn’t talk about anything major, uh, it’s…” you trail off. Oh, he meant how you promised you’d tell him about…the man you shot and killed. You send up another simple prayer of I’m sorry regarding him and inwardly knock your head against a table because you’d promised you’d tell Daryl that little not-so-fun-fact over a beer. What a move, Y/N. “I thought you meant somethin’ else, my bad. Um—”

“—Don’t tell me you got more dirt? Was that whatever you and Glenn talked about? He looked like he coulda used a beer after you two were done.”

A monotone, noncommittal sound leaves your mouth as you stare into space.

Pretty night sky again. You consider the wonderful part of the latest batch of dirt. Lori’s pregnant again! “It’s good dirt. Well, half of it is.” Oh, Shane, what’s gonna happen with you?

“What is it, then?” Daryl huffs.

Oops. “Just some stuff.”

“Quarter.”

Okay, you walked into that one. How many quarters for white lies do you owe so far, two?

Appealing to his…dunno, maybe his sense of loyalty, you remind him, “Snitches get stitches, man.”

To which he cracks, “Y’already got some.”

Scrunching up your face in delight, you clap your hands together as you snort, “You’re on a roll tonight,” while trying not to tighten your core too much because ouchhh, those stitches of yours still hurt when you do so. Glancing over at him, he’s actually smiling.

Within seconds, however, he’s back to his usual standoffish self. He waves his hand in question. “So, why you tryin’ to get hammered this time?”

“Well, I ain’t anymore.” You already feel better. And you’d only wanted a beer or shot or two of liquor, nothing too crazy.

Now he’s doing that squinty thing at you as he grunts, “That your way of saying ya wanna drop it?”

You shrug. “What made you start on your fifth beer?”

“Dunno.”

“Quarter,” you tease.

“Stop.”

“Ha-ha.” You run your hand through your hair and realize your dizziness is ebbing. “So, what time we leavin’ tomorrow, 6, 6:30?”

He shakes his head from where he’s laying. “The group is gonna have a meet-up before we all head out. They’ll wanna wait ’til the sun is bright enough, count on 7:30 or 8.”

“We can’t just go earlier?”

“Today, all them kept running into each other’s grids. We need to make it clear where we’re lookin’ and when.”

“Fair play.” Adjusting your position and fighting the urge to lay down, you make sure, “Think you and me’ll be done searching the road and the ridge by 12 or 1?”

“I guess. Why?”

Don’t get mad. “Mr. Greene asked for my help with a medical procedure for Carl. Early afternoon I said I might would be back by.”

..............................

Him

He can’t get mad about that, no way. And early afternoon is enough time to scope out what they’d planned.

But is he…is he that much of an asshole that even Y/N for some reason thought helping a child who’s just been shot wouldn’t seem like a good enough reason to him?

And what the hell does his opinion matter, anyway? Besides, he can do shit on his own, don’t need nobody.

“You take care of Carl, I’ll find Sophia,” he says simply.

But this twitchy sensation wiggles in his chest when they immediately respond, “Deal,” with a relieved exhale. The nice feeling gets stronger when they then mumble, “We make a mighty good team, just sayin’.”

And Y/N then just flat-out lays down on the grass outside his tent. One hand rests on their belly, the other stretches up over their head.

“Hey Daryl? I was so happy to see the flower in the RV,” his friend next mumbles. “Carol said you told her the story, too.”

He isn’t sure how to respond, so he changes the topic. “Y’look like you’re about to nod off right there.”

“Mm, I feel so relaxed now. You did good, dude.”

What does that mean? Weirdo.

…He feels more relaxed now, too, though. Even if the two of them didn’t get into much conversation, they had a fun little squabble.

Maybe he should…yeah, he’ll dump the coke somewhere tomorrow. He’d heard something about a bloated, dead walker in a well out in one of the pastures, so he’ll prolly toss it in there since no one will be drinking from it.

The crickets aren’t as loud tonight. It’s colder.

Just to check on Y/N, he lifts his head slightly.

Seeing them lounging on the lawn like that first makes him contemplate tossing them his pillow, but it’s nasty so instead he figured an alternate plan would be his poncho so they can be more comfortable.

But, he thinks better on it, and “Go on, get your ass to bed,” is what he settles on.

They whine.

He grumbles. “Do I need to get your big brother over here?”

“Psht.”

A smile starts to form that he keep under wraps. He knows what’ll do the trick. “Gonna get ants and teeny little spiders all up in your hair and clothes.”

Sure enough that gets them going, complete with another whine.

“Goodnight, dude,” they snort.

“Yeah, g’night.”

He isn’t sure what made him lift his head to check on them again, but when he happens to look over, their face is contorting in pain as they attempt to position themselves in a way that’s avoiding using their injured arm/shoulder and their abdominal muscles to sit up so they can stand.

.....................

You

Him helping you up wasn’t expected, since he’d been laying down. But just like that, he’s out of his tent and gripping your forearm on your good side to hoist you upright.

Once you’re on your feet, his hand touches your back for a moment and you cup his upper arm to steady yourself.

“Thanks for the assist, man,” you sigh, brushing off your butt in case any dirt or grass stuck to it.

“Yeah. See ya in the morning.”

So, not to overshare, but that simple touch felt really nice. And his arm is hard as a brick.

Eesh, this whole Glenn/Maggie thing is messing with you.

Whatev, you do know one thing: what you told Hershel about feeling safe around Daryl was accurate and honest. Your That mangy hick, for some reason, simply isn’t threatening in that way.

And dude thank God you’d gone to see Daryl, for real. Y'all make a good team.

Wait, what was it exactly you’d sa — oh Moses, your twang had come back full force with him, hadn’t it? You’d said ‘a mighty good team,’ that’s right.

Ha, you talk like such stereotype sometimes.

“See you in the morning, Rick,” you call softly as you pass him on the way to your tent. “Sleep in a little later with Lori tomorrow, you both could use it.”

.........................

Him

He watches to make sure they don’t topple over on the way back. Thinks about how they did indeed mother-hen him, however, in all honesty, he doesn’t mind (that much, anyway).

He wonders where Sophia is sleeping. If she’s safe. If she ‘is.’

Shit, he flicks that thought off and shoves something better in its place: that tomorrow is only day four. He’d survived nine days at a younger age, she could survive, too.

Then, he’s thinking back on how Y/N looked so relaxed there on the grass a few minutes ago...which is a kinda weird thing to be thinking about.

Next he remembers how when they were talking to the doctor earlier, it was plain as day they’d lessened their accent. It sounded damn wrong to hear their voice like that, barely a twang in it.

He compares it to how comfy (and twangy) they sounded when they sighed “We make a mighty good team, just sayin’.”

That little fluttering warms in his chest again at the same time the corners of his mouth raise. And finally, all at once, his eyelids sink down, limbs grow heavy and he at last falls asleep.

................

teeny tiny taglist :D

@spenciepoo338​ @its-freaking-bats​ @whistlesalot​

[silverbladexyz]

Hiii hope youre doing well! Could i ask for platonic bestie hcs with Poe 😳 maybe a friend who loves ranting about their current reads and giving out unsolicited book recs

Idk im just in the mood for some cute hcs lol

-🎐

Heyyyy bro I love platonic requests too! And I headcanon Poe would be such a great bestie.

The image does not belong to me. It belongs to it's original owner.

TW: None

Best friend hcs with Poe

-Can I just say how cute of a friendship this is? You being the talker, Poe being the listener, and both of you bond over your shared interests in books

-And because you two like books, there’s going to be a lot of book recommendations going around. Poe gives you books in the mystery and crime genres, while you just give him any book you think is good. He likes your taste in books, even when it might not be his favourite, he still likes reading it in his spare time

-He loves it when you just suddenly give him a book. Poe isn’t one to initiate a conversation, and plus he has something new from you which he can enjoy. I headcanon he’ll binge read the book in two nights and come back with dark circles under his eyes, still ready to talk about the book with you

-Poe is more than happy to listen to you talk about your recent reads! He is a listener, and nothing interests him more than your talk. If he has read some of the works that you were talking about, he’d give his own review and opinion on it, sparking an even deeper conversation on the book and analysing it’s text and quotes and stuff

-Being best friends with Poe means that you’re best friends with Karl too. Give Karl a lot of pats and hugs and talk to him too! Karl loves you and always brings you a book to read. He might even perch around your shoulders, or sit on top of your head

-Also write some of your own stories!! Poe is always excited to read your writing, and even when his criticising may not be the sweetest sometimes, it genuinely improves the way you write. But he also reminds you to take breaks if he sees you writing nonstop

-Over time, he might also write stories for you to read! They’re mostly mystery, but Poe would be perfectly happy writing anything that you request. Although please don’t be harsh when you give him feedback, because it might just damage his self-esteem even more :(

-Okay, now let’s focus on the other parts of your friendship. Poe is a big introvert, so you would have to drag him out to do stuff most of the time. Take him to a library or a beach! He’d mostly sit down and read a book, but he’ll also do activities with you too Splash him with some water when he’s not looking

-Poe isn’t as used to platonic affection, so if you are touchy, he might freeze up a little and be stiff. But he loves it! Keep doing it, and slowly he’ll accept those little platonic actions and might start doing it back to you. It’s going to take a very long time though

-He might even take you to meet Ranpo! He secretly wishes that you’ll get along with the world’s greatest detective, but not too well so that you become Ranpo’s best friend instead of his. Please don’t leave Poe, because Karl was his only company on most days before he met you

-Food trips!!! Who wouldn’t want to go out and eat food with their best friend? Encourage Poe to try some new cuisines, because I feel like he only eats two cuisines at the most. One time you put some chili in his food and it was so funny seeing him turn red and chugging down glasses of milk. He got back at you though by trapping you in one of his mystery books (dw the case was easy to solve and you got out safely)

-In much more calmer and softer moments, Poe would probably sit with you on the couch while gazing into the sunset. These times are cherished dearly by him, because it is a signal of the amount of trust and platonic love you had in each other. He would never trade you away for anything, even for beating Ranpo in a case, which shows how much he cares for you

-He probably doesn’t go outside a lot. Take him to different places to let him touch some grass, will you? Poe really needs it

@pixyys @pianotross @the-mourning-stars @nekokinax @i-just-like-goats @yuugen-benni @xxelfmamaxx @lakeside-paradise @yukitomybeloved @irethepotato @arisu-chan4646 @voyagewiththesatan @catzlivedforbsd

[frostironfudge]

Silhouettes In the Spotlight - Bucky Barnes - Five

Summary: Bucky Barnes has worked immensely hard to have a filmography expanding across genres and garnering accolades from critics, peers and fans. Y/N Y/L/N, with her debut novel (fan-fiction turned New York Times Bestseller) has two other best sellers under her belt. Next is her highly anticipated fourth book lined up for release. SHEILD Productions has acquired the film rights to her debut novel and they want Bucky Barnes to play the lead (aka himself) by any means necessary. This story is about angst, lust, heartbreak, and love. After all fairytales only exist in books and movies right?

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing, protective bucky, miscommunication, anxiety, overwhelming emotions, loki and sam are good bros, fat shaming comments, steve is an ass, bucky being bucky, also it seems i cannot stop using the neighbourhood songs for a bucky x reader pairing song mentioned in the latter half of the chapter is softcore, lyrics are in italics. incase i have missed anything please let me know

Pairing: Actor!Bucky Barnes x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 5k || Dividers: @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist || Fic Masterlist || AO3

Chapter Four || Chapter Six

HEADLINES:

Eagle Eyed Fans Spot Y/N’s SOLD OUT Hardcover Limited Edition Novel On Bucky Barnes’ Desk. 

Steve Rogers Follows and Comments On Y/N’s Latest Post — Are They Going To Pen Something Down Together? 

Bucky Barnes and Loki Laufeyson Spotted Arguing At Rooftop Bar. 

Dolores and Steve Rogers Get Cozy At A Socialite’s App Launch. 

Y/N Shares Poems With The World. Is She Leaving Fiction? Fans Speculate Book Four Might Include Poetry. 

Bucky was going to lose his mind. He already bent two forks. Loki was deeply sighing and then winced as he heard Steve’s clawing guffaw. 

“Why is she with him?” Sam verbalises Bucky’s entire thought process for the past half hour. You haven’t seen the three of them yet and Bucky watches as you don’t touch much of your food over the conversation. They can’t hear anything apart from Steve either laughing or talking on his phone mid conversation. It had been about two weeks since they last saw you at the SHEILD announcement. 

Bucky stares at his phone, it had been three days since he had emailed you to try and clear the air you had refused to respond to calls, texts or Instagram DMs. 

The way he spoke still stung you. He couldn’t blame you. He wanted to apologise make things right. 

You only extended your communication to offer expertise for giving him a breakdown of his character, which he knew he did require but only after the script read would it be heavily needed by him. 

Loki had tried to speak to you as well but you had politely declined to discuss anything other than helping him understand his character. He had tried but in vain to have you understand that he genuinely wanted a friendship. Ultimately, Loki decided to give you your space, it didn’t mean he did not get mad at Buck. 

Sam had decided to keep in touch via Yelena, she became the point of contact which you appreciated. The topics never strayed from work on occasion Sam would speak to you personally but never pushed for anything that was uncomfortable. 

One evening he did ask you if you would like to meet Bucky again at Winnie’s Nook. He knew your answer would be a no, but when he relayed the message Bucky’s face had fallen. Sam only seemed more disappointed in him.

Tonight’s dinner was a joint effort at trying to come up with a plan to make things right with you. However seeing Bucky react to Steve and you being together, Loki and Sam exchanged glances that the plan would have to be fast tracked.

You look at Steve as he speaks on the phone for the umpteenth time. Keeping your cool you push around the remaining food on the plate. Most of your appetite lost after his passing comment on the small portion size and if it would suffice for you. The restaurant is much different than Winnie’s Nook, it lacked the warmth. It even lacked a view. 

This place was a cross between ridiculously expensive looking and filled by what you can only assume a whose who of various illustrious careers.

It was a shame, you stare at your plate, the dish was good. You take a few bites trying to shove away thoughts as Steve looks towards the side yapping away. You wonder if he even requires this meeting. He had formulated an opinion on your character publicly. You bite the inside of your cheek as he cuts the call. 

“Sorry about that, you know how things in Hollywood get, ah sorry first big break of yours,” he grins looking at you, “Now, why would you create such a weak ass character?” 

“I prefer calculative to describe him.” You defend, don’t stab him with your spoon, don’t stab him with your spoon. You chant.

Steve smirks, “Oh Sweetheart,”

You have to hide your disgust at the irritating nickname. 

“I’ve written a book too, I know weak characters intimately. Rhys is another story of weak but my character oh he suffers.” He chuckles. 

“I believe you’ve written about actual people and yourself, so how can you comment if someone is weak? If they aren’t fictional? I’ve written three books.” You raise a brow, his smirk falls. 

Stab him with your words, you think. How dare he slander Rhys. He’s your comfort character. Probably the favourite one you ever wrote.

“You know a weak man when you see one.” He shrugs, taking a bite of his steak, “Tell me, why did you remove me from the book and condense the character?” He demands, lips pulled back into a grimace. So he read the forums and probably your blog.

“Are you upset? Or are you worried, I will see the real you? Given how, one knows the strength capabilities by looking at someone.” You chuckle at his logic. 

“Merely curious, sweetheart. Humour me, I’ve bought you dinner, gotten you to a nice place. You must have had scarce experiences as such.” Steve shrugs giving you a once over. He already had the nerve in his palm He wasn’t afraid to pinch it to cause pain or discomfort.

“Mr. Rogers—,”

“Steve, sweetheart.” He chastises, a glimmer in his eyes and you wonder for a moment if he’s playing a part trying to get under your skin or if this is his truth. 

These Hollywood men are messing with your head. 

Why do they need to put on a goddamn show every waking moment?

Stormy blue eyes appear at the forefront of your mind. Fuck.

“Steve.” You don’t stop your eye-roll at his smug expression,

“About your to be played character, Beckham. I can assist you. However, the decisions taken to edit my book, belonged to me without influence, the only time you were associated was when the book was a fan-fiction, a character I built with your face and name. You’ve worked in enough movies to know how disclaimers work correct?” 

“So you didn’t remove me because of what I allegedly did to your precious, Mr. Barnes?” He leans forward, chin resting on his intertwined hands intrigued. 

“Pray tell Steve, is this guilt? For playing Beckham it isn’t a good look he doesn’t feel remorse. If you even have to consider I cut you off, you know that you were wrong somewhere.” You rest your chin on your palm.

His nostrils flare, eyes narrowing in the slightest, for a moment you feel smug. Smug that you broke through this front he puts on, but then his smirk returns. 

A character he plays for himself then, you deem. All of them never genuine, you were learning the lesson easier now. You glance back down at the plate, contemplating.

Steve knows Bucky is watching, he knows you don’t know about the entourage with the way you’re seated. Secluded but not really cut off from anyone knowing what you look like, Steve chuckles again, you’re a feisty little thing. 

It’s unexpected and with the way Bucky Barnes’ trademark glare is trained on Steve. He knows you are of some importance to his former best friend. His manager was right, you were going to be an important string to pursue, he just needed to have you wrapped around him not Bucky. 

You stare at Steve, unwilling to back down now, he may have said things but you couldn’t succumb. So what if you decided to cut him off? He has no right to be pissed or affected. 

You want to tell him off. It isn’t your battle or your war. You know you’re just a spectator on the sidelines.

Yet it somehow felt slowly you were walking eyes closed onto the crossroads.

Bucky bends yet another fork. 

“Stop holding it in your left hand.” Sam grumbles. 

Bucky takes the fork from Sam and bends it with his non bionic fingers and hands it back. 

Loki purses his lips, but the laugh breaks out at Bucky’s childishness and Sam’s ire over the cutlery. 

Bucky returns the cutlery to their unbent former glory. He also makes sure to leave a hefty tip. 

“Why don’t you just go over and apologise?” Loki offers his best friend. 

“Because she won’t give me a chance to do so, I’ve fucked up enough.” Bucky huffs, looking up at the wrong time because Steve is reaching to tuck your hair back. He notices you shy away, moving back in your seat. 

Worry pools in his stomach, he doesn’t trust Steve Rogers, not anymore. 

Dinner comes to an end for you and Steve, he diverts the topic to his current character and asks questions about what you would like him to bring to the table. You tell him you wrote the character like a chameleon, ever changing, self serving and has something up his sleeve always. 

Steve walks with you towards the exit just as Bucky, Loki and Sam begin their way out. 

You stay back as the door swings open as Steve moves on ahead, rendering you to bump into Bucky. 

His hand reaches out to grab your arm to steady you.

“I’m so sorry—,” You look up at the person confused, “Mr. Barnes?” 

Bucky gives you a soft smile, “Hey.” He says before letting your hand go, allowing you to walk ahead.

“Fucking hell.” Loki groans as the paps begin their usual camera flashes. 

“Can’t handle the limelight, Laufeyson?” Steve teases. Smiling for the cameras, he looks back at you with a frown. 

“Come on Y/N. Get your little bit of PR.” He chuckles pulling your arm and flashing a smile for the cameras. 

Bucky keeps a poker face as your eyes meet his because you can’t take the flashes and the screaming of the paparazzi. He feels for you, remembering the conversation at the bookstore about the flashes and the anxiety their loud voices bring.

“How did you get her to do this?” Steve looks at Bucky, “Some kind of persuasion…” He trails off you.

“Rogers, fucks sake,” Bucky steps closer, Loki places a cautionary hand to stop Bucky. 

“Public, Bucky.” Sam cautions, Bucky shoves his hands in his pockets, fists clenched.

“Steve, I’m not really comfortable with this—,” Your protest reaches dead ears, the questions by the paparazzi become borderline insulting. 

Steve wraps his arm around your shoulder smiling at the cameras, “Just smile.” He whispers, you shift away slightly. He tightens his grip, smile never leaving his features.

“Y/N how is it like spending an evening with Steve?” 

“Have you read his book? Is it better than your own work?”

“Who is better company, Bucky or Steve?”

“Are you leaving fiction writing?”

“Any boyfriend, or ex? What does he think about you hanging out with Steve.”

“Steve do you have any dates after this meeting?” 

They laugh then at that comment. 

You remain quiet looking down and trying not to get dizzy because of the flashes. Yelena had told you how this would be your new found fate, adjusting to it was proving difficult. 

“Did we get it?” Steve turns to his manager, Valentina Allegra de Fontaine. She gives you a charming smile. That did nothing to ease your nerves.

“We did.” She looks at the paps, soon enough they leave at her gesture. You take a breath stepping away from Steve. 

“Well, nicely done.” Valentina praises you, “Much better than the pictures with Barnes.”

Sam scoffs, “Much more staged, yes.” He comments. Loki snickers, Bucky laughs.

“I can send you some tips, Mr. Wilson. You need to keep the PR better. His social media is severely lacking.” Valentina offers him a card. 

Sam just stares at her. She shakes her head putting it back in her bag. 

Steve turns to them narrowing his eyes, “We’re on first name basis at-least.” He tilts his head to gesture towards you. You roll your eyes.

Loki meets your gaze, you look at Bucky, his blue gaze on you. You bite the inside of your cheek, you don’t want to deal with him.

“Funny, we used to be on first name basis too, Rogers.” Bucky provides him with a cold smile. 

Steve’s smug expression sours, he’s about to say something,

“Alright, enough, save the public fights for the film promo during filming.” Valentina taps Steve’s shoulder and they begin walking towards the car they drove here.

Your shoulders sag in relief when they leave, retrieving your phone you decide to book a cab.

The apps tell you its a ten minute wait, you spot the little cafe on the opposite side of the lot. 

When you turn to walk, Loki pushes Bucky in your direction with a ‘dude-go-talk-to-her-look’.

Bucky stumbles, saying your name, just as you take the first step. You squeeze your eyes shut before turning to face him. You don’t want to deal with any of this right now.

“I could, Could I drop you home?” He offers, hoping you say yes.

“Its okay, I don’t want you to think I’m after a PR moment.” You don’t feel great at his wince, hell taunting him with his own accusations hurts you somehow.

“I deserve that, but, let me drop you home please? Or if you’re more comfortable with Loki he—,”

“Loki is going to the club with Sam.” Loki announces, grinning at you, “Hey there.” 

You wave at him, finding yourself smiling back. 

“Long time no see.” You comment drily. Loki chuckles eyes moving towards Bucky, who has his gaze trained upon you. 

“Yeah well, I could blame you… but I don’t want a novel written…” Loki trails off.  

“Oh, is that so? Well,” you retrieve your phone, opening the notes app, clearing your throat you begin, “He stands in a parking lot surrounded by his friends, he mocks me for my storytelling. His green eyes convey the emotion which he cannot show— sarcasm. All while his friend does not understand why are we communicating this way. Even though his friend is the reason we do not speak.”  You speak out loud while typing gibberish. 

Sam laughs catching onto the joke and Bucky raises a brow between the two of you.  

Loki chuckles and you tuck away your phone. 

“What?” He requests getting confused even more, mildly because he is still nervous about messing up yet again. 

“Banter.” Loki shrugs. 

Bucky wonders if you would ever be at ease this way with him. After the shit he spewed he doubts it.  

“I’m sorry.” He blurts, Loki and Sam purse their lips and look at you. 

You shrug, not really knowing what to say. 

“Y/N… let him drop you home, please.” Loki suggests. 

“I can get by just fine—,” You have the protests lined up, 

“Look you both need to sort it out because SHEILD will exploit anything for drama, and you hate PR bullshit, Bucky does too, just bury the hatchet please, one last chance, if he fucks it up you can ignore him all you want, I promise.” Sam gestures to you and he has a point. Loki nods in agreement. 

“Okay.” You agree for the sake of not being forced to do anything for useless drama. 

“Thank you.” Bucky smiles, “My car is that way.” He points and you turn in the direction. 

Bucky turns to Sam and Loki gratefully. 

“You owe me one.” His friend chuckles, Loki gives a stern look. 

“Don’t mess it up.” Sam warns Bucky nods, jogging after you. 

The car ride is silent, Bucky’s hands grip the wheel tightly. The material of the gloves taut over his knuckles.  

You try not to move your gaze to him, but it is difficult. As if your throat aches to speak to him. Your hands stay folded in your lap, but the fiddling with your fingers out of anxiousness begins, you try to press your palms flat on your bag. Yet after moments you’re back to fidgeting. 

Bucky swallows thickly, his attention on the road slipping because he wants to look at you. If there was a stoplight, he’d study your profile. Several moments he noticed your nervous movements. 

Part of him just wants to reach out, quell your nerves. Part of him is internally kicking himself for not explaining his side of things, allowing you to stew in words he did not mean. 

Does he even deserve to offer an explanation?

Your eyes and Bucky’s shift to the clock on the dashboard. It has just been ten minutes. 

He inhales deeply, followed by a long exhale. You wonder if a knife could cut the thickness in the air. 

He clears his throat, you turn to him. 

“Do you want to hear some music?” He questions, blue eyes reflected in the orange of the streetlights. 

“Yeah, music is good…” You shrug.  

Eleven words is a good start you suppose.

His hand shifts to the console, pressing the media button, soft radio chatter fills the car. 

Bucky shifts stations till music begins. 

The song is familiar, Bucky pauses tapping to the beat,

‘You’ve been my muse for a long time, 

You get me through every dark night,

I’m always gone, out on the go,

I’m on the run and you’re home alone,

I’m too consumed by my own life’

Bucky shifts in his seat, you look ahead at the road. 

‘Are we too young for this?

Feels like I can’t move

Sharing my heart

Is tearing me apart.’

Bucky snorts, breaking into a fit of laughter. You stare at him, the crinkles by his eyes prominent. The sound is full of mirth despite the lyric that prompted it. 

“Sorry I just, the line, god, it’s morbid humour at best.” He runs his hand through his hair, switching lanes. 

You wait for him to explain further, worried about saying something to upset him. 

“Conversation works two ways, Y/N.” He teases, meeting your confused gaze, “However I understand your reservations due to my own actions rather words.” He sighs, disappointment embedding itself into his being. 

“I know you didn’t know about Steve Rogers being cast, it was a stupid gimmick to get a rise out of Loki and I.” Bucky explains, “I figure you know probably about the highlight reel of what occurred between Steve and I.”

He looks at you again, you nod. 

“Which is one of the reasons why I said what I said to Loki. I know a muse can be anyone or anything. I just, I don’t know why I get overly defensive still, it has been what? Six-Seven years? It hurts still, but accusing you of something you didn’t do and you probably would not do. That was worse than a fucking asshole behaviour of me.” He purses his lips, then scowls. 

“I know I’ve apologised prior and we were on our way to being sort of civil and/or friends. I, want to apologise again.” The car stops at a red light and he turns to face you. 

“I, I don’t know what to tell you? I, the way things got handled during the release… the whole ‘me using you’…” your hands make quote marks,

“I’m sorry Steve did such a shitty thing to you which is not excusable. I guess having your face attached to another thing wasn’t a great experience either.” You chuckle lightly, Bucky smiles feeling some amount of progress. 

“I can understand your reaction but I can’t excuse it, Mr. Barnes. Everyone is burned before and that makes us cautious. You were looking out for Loki, which I’m sure he appreciates.” You look ahead. 

“Oh, no he ripped me a new one. I don’t think he’s ever crossed the 90 minute lecture mark and he did that night.” Bucky informs you wincing at the memory. Loki was absolutely livid even more than the time Bucky drank himself stupid and sat in his car.

Bucky shakes his head, shrugging away the memory. The signal turns green he begins driving with his left hand. The other resting on the console. 

“Why do you still call me, Mr. Barnes?” He wonders.

“You never told me to call you anything else, Mr. Barnes.” You chuckle. 

“You can use my name. I insist.” He adds lightly, a smile on his lips. 

“Okay, good to know.” You say, Bucky closes his eyes for a second, slightly disappointed his name didn’t follow. 

“I wanted to ask… that story you uploaded? Writing ‘fuck’ under the chapter title?” He supinates his forearm to gesticulate his question. 

You laugh now, “Your coveted production house bought my publishing house. Meaning they automatically get dibs on most of my work, which means my contracts need to be very ironclad to protect myself. Doesn’t help that Alexander Pierce is almost staring everyday at me to, waiting for me to ask for an extension in exchange of a favour.” You shudder. 

Bucky pulls over to the shoulder the tires screech as he slams the breaks. You lurch forward his arm reaches across you to stabilise despite you having the seatbelt on. 

Your brows furrow, before you can speak he turns completely towards you in the limited space. He draws his hand back.

“Promise me, please, no matter if we’re civil or friends or not. You won’t go to him for favours, he’s, he’s a vulture. Y/N you need to be careful.” Bucky’s hand twitches to reach out to your own. 

“I, I won’t.” You look between his intense gaze, “I find him kind of creepy. Weirdly touchy—,” 

“When and where?” The venom in his words would kill upon impact. 

“It, it isn’t, he’s not inappropriate—, a brush here or a comforting hand over palm there.” You swallow, it was uncomfortable but not something you could verbalise. 

“If he makes you uncomfortable or pulls any shit, I hope to God, I hope to God sincerely, that he doesn’t try anything with you. Please know you can come to me okay? I’ll, fuck, that man is bad news.” Bucky shakes his head, disgusted by everything he has heard and seen about Alexander. 

“Why do all you still work for him?” You question. 

“As you said, those fucking contracts, his leverage in the industry, it is a fucked up game to them, to him. There is never anything concrete to take him down.” Bucky doesn’t state the other things. You don’t need to know the darker bits and pieces. 

“Please, promise me.” He requests again.

“I promise, James.” You reach for his hand. His fingers intertwine with yours, you both stare at the limbs. 

Bucky finds it different somehow when you take his name, not the nickname that has become common to everyone. Synonymous with his very being.

When you look back up at him, you realise you both have leaned closer. 

Bucky studies your features, the way your eyes gleam softly in the streetlight, your lip gloss glimmering when you purse your lips then let them go. 

Bucky doesn’t realise how or when his left hand rests on your cheek. The temperature hidden by his gloves. 

When his thumb strokes your cheekbone you close your eyes. Bucky’s eyes close as well, your breaths intertwine, heart somersaulting as you feel something soft brush against your lips. 

Bucky can taste the sweet scent of your lipgloss, softly brushing against his own lips. He doesn’t want you to regret this, he doesn’t want you to think he’s taking advantage of you. 

The way your hand rests upon his, your warmth blooming through his layer of defence. His layer of protection. 

Something cracks within him, dark, urging, commanding him to push you away. 

'Doing what I can, tryna be a man (be your man) And every time I kiss you, baby I can hear the sound of breaking down'

Bucky’s forehead rests against yours, you give a sad smile. Your eyes are still closed but you knew. 

You knew this would occur.  

“James.” You swallow thickly. 

“I am so sorry.” He wants to apologise for not giving in to the moment. 

“You have a lot on your mind, mistakes happen, at-least you stopped, before, before you would regret it.” You shift back, your warmth and closeness leaving, have him feel colder than ever. 

You look down at your hands, Bucky screws his eyes shut. Head leaning against the headrest looking up at the roof of the car. 

I wouldn’t have regretted it. He wants to tell you, but he decides to keep quiet. 

You play with the hem of your dress, he recalls something. 

“Is, this looks like the dress you described Doll wearing during the dinner party with Beckham.” He murmurs, you chuckle. 

“So Rhys remembers but Beckham doesn’t,” your comment makes him smile lightly. 

“That’s why she ends up with Rhys. Get their happy ending.” Bucky shrugs. 

“If only those were common.” You murmur, twiddling your thumbs. Bucky places a hand on yours, pausing your movements. 

“What has you anxious?” He questions, you don’t look toward him. 

You. You want to speak, looking up concern drips from him, “I, I need to get home.” You deflect. 

“I just want to apologise to you, one more chance to show you that I’m, I want to be friends.” He admits. You absorb his words.

Bucky nods, allowing you your silence. His hand remains above yours, as he manoeuvres the car back onto the lanes. When your thoughts begin to swirl again, you play with his hand without thinking. 

Bucky observes you, letting you fidget, brushing your fingers over the gloves. So delicately as to not harm him. A softness tugs within his chest.

“Do you like these?” You question, looking at his side profile, he shrugs. His thumb absentmindedly running along the edge of your index finger. 

“I wear them because I don’t like the stares or comments. Also the whole image aspect… It’s sort of a layer between people and I,” he shrugs not knowing how else to explain the way the disgust was interwoven into his return to cinema. 

“Do you at-least have a safe space? Or someone you can take them off of in their presence?” You wonder, genuinely curious. 

“I do, my family, Sam and Loki.” He tells you, you smile. 

“That is good.” You wonder if telling him about Steve would garner what reaction.

“Loki plays Rhys’ best friend right?” You ask, Bucky nods. 

“Originally Rhys had two best-friends, I merged them into one.” You explain. 

“I don’t follow…” He looks to you slowing down before the turn towards your neighbourhood. 

“Steve was one of the original friends, so he asked me, if I did that because of what he did to you.” You look at Bucky. 

He begins to laugh, “So he was pressed about being kicked out? Wait he read the original fanfic?”

“More like worried about knowing ‘why was he cut off’?” You giggle, nodding at the latter half of the question. 

“What did you tell him?” Bucky is amused, he hadn’t ventured onto your blog just read the book. 

“I didn’t answer his question just asked him if he feels guilty is that why he questions my decision? He diverted the topic.” You shrug. 

“If he had any guilt he would apologise.” He declares. 

“Sometimes people think the time to apologise is too late, in Steve’s matter however it’s about the fact he doesn’t realise he did something gravely wrong.” 

“You don’t agree with what he did?” Bucky sounds surprised. 

“He didn’t take your permission, he didn’t take your consent, he wrote about what occurred with you and made it about him? What kind of an egomaniac do you have to be?” You scoff,

“I mean I might fall into the non permissive category but like,” 

“What you do is different.” Bucky declares. 

“Happy you think that way.” You look towards him. 

The car stops outside your home. Bucky looks at you. 

He moves his hand forward, “Friends?” He feels as though he is a kid in kindergarten. 

“Friends.” You shake his hand.  

“Does this remind you of kindergarten?” You ask, 

“It does.” He smiles. 

“James, this, you have your one chance but please know it is the last one. I do not have it in me to go back and forth.” You gaze into his eyes, the little street lamps illuminating his features.

“I won’t let you down.” He adds, you smile.

Bucky watches you walk up to your house, you open the door, turning towards him. 

His silhouette waves at you from the car.

Bucky stays till he watches the door shut, you watch from the window in hall as his car moves away.

You go about your nightly routine, changing your clothes and checking up on your mom.

“How was dinner?” She questions, hand held by yours, you smile. 

“It was okay.” You shrug.

“I see you’re smiling after this one.” She grins, trying to find a topic to tease you upon. 

“Mum it isn’t like that they are all working with me. Also it isn’t like the fictional worlds I create.” You pull her blanket up further. 

“Well one day you’re going to have that love the kind that you write and read about.” She runs her hand over your head. Your throat tightens at the gesture. 

“You wanna watch a movie?” You offer, she nods. 

“Something funny?” She requests as you stand to go bring your laptop. 

Your phone stays charging near your laptop on the desk, biting the inside of your cheek you contemplate. 

Almost forty minutes have passed since you got home, unlocking the device you find his contact, opening up the muted thread you type the message. 

The warm mist clears around him as Bucky steps out of the bathroom. Running the towel through his hair, his phone lights up on the nightstand.  

Y/N:hey, thank you for dropping me home. I hope you got back to your home safely too. 

Bucky smiles, beginning to type out the reply

James:I did get home about fifteen minutes back, hope everything is okay at home for you. 

He sets the device back down not anticipating a reply, Loki and Sam were already updated on the situation. 

When he gets back into bed deciding to scroll though social media your name remains in the notification tab. 

Y/N: that’s good, yeah it wasn’t chaotic or anything just watching Nailed It on netflix with mum she wanted to watch something funny. Have you seen it?

You’re opening up the conversation floor with him, Bucky’s chest mirths, elated that he’s making more progress. 

He begins typing out his response that no he hasn’t, you immediately request him to at-least watch one episode. 

Bucky chuckles pulling up the app on his phone to watch. 

HEADLINES:

Y/N Y/L/N Spotted Amidst Tensions At Home - Read What Her Relatives Have To Say About The Author. 

Bucky Barnes Hanging Out With Dolores — Onlookers Say Things Got Steamy. 

Loki Laufeyson Spotted Outside BW’s Building Chatting With An All Smiles Y/N. Is This A New Friendship?

Steve Rogers Standing Outside Y/N’s Doorstep With Flowers — “I feel bad for her, I know what it is like to have someone dear to me be ill. I had to visit.”

Bucky Barnes and Y/N Y/L/N Catch Up Over Coffee And Books At Their Favourite Independent Bookstore. Sneaky Fans Catch Pictures!

Yelena Belova and Y/N Y/L/N Spotted Arguing Outside BW — Yikes! The Pictures Tell A Story. 

Bucky Barnes Uploads Sweet Pictures From Visit To His Parent’s House. 

A.N.: raise you hand if you thought bucky was gonna mess up again? *me raises hand as well*

Taglist is Open comment or DM to be added!

Taglist: @stevesmewmew @elle14-blog1 @crazyunsexycool @sebsgirl71479 @pandaxnienke @slutforsexyseabass @eclecticpatrolroadlawyer @pandaxnienke @vampire7595

[wewerewords]

#02: Assistant To The Villain

By Hannah Nicole Maehrer

Genre: Romance Fantasy

Publisher: Red Tower Books

ISBN: 978-1-64937-580-3

Price: $19.99 US

Page Count: 340

Date Started: January 25, 2024

Date Ended: January 26, 2024

Back Cover Blurb:

ASSISTANT WANTED: Notorious, high-ranking villain seeks loyal, levelheaded assistant for unspecific office duties, supporting staff for random mayhem and terror, and other Dark Things In General. Discretion a must. Excellent benefits

With ailing family to support, Evie Sage's employment status isn't just important, it's vital. So when a mishap with Rennedawn's most infamous Villain results in a job offer -- naturally, she says yes. No job is perfect, of course, but even less so when you develop a teeny crush on your terrifying, temperamental, and undeniably hot boss. Don't find evil so attractive, Evie.

But just when she's getting used to severed heads suspended from the ceiling and the odd squish of an errant eyeball beneath her heel, Evie suspects this dungeon has a huge rat.. and not just the literal kind. Because something rotten is growing in the kingdom of Rennedawn, and someone wants to take the Villain -- and his entire nefarious empire -- out.

Now Evie must not only resist drooling over her boss but also figure out exactly who is sabotaging his work.. and ensure he makes them pay.

After all, a good job is hard to find.

Review and Rate:

Honestly, I had a hard time putting this down. Evie's unwavering optimism in the face of multiple horrible encounters made me, (and the Villain) fall in love with her. The book follows Evie as she quiet literally stumbles upon the villain and worms her way into his employment, (and heart). She is always armed with a smile and her wit, which seems to endear her to all others around, even if they say they hate her. Cough cough Becky.

Evie has her fair share of challenges in this book, some easier to overcome than others, but she never allows anything to disarm her smile. It would be easy to say that I loved this book and leave it at that but truly, I loved it. Multiple times I caught myself laughing out loud at some of Evie's inner most thoughts, and outer ones too. It's easy to understand where she is coming from, her boss is hot, so what if he's evil to boot? (Unless you're like me and him being evil is way more of a plus than a negative.)

Personally I tend to predict the ending of a book before I get there, which always leaves me wanting more from the book. Something shocking or at the very least interesting. The ending of this book had me angry. I was, and still am as I type this, so angry for the characters because they deserve better. Which is how I know you will be too. While most the tone of the book is very light and funny, some of the topics that it broached are not. (I mean come on he literally murders people, duh.) That being said, there is an implication of attempted (but not successful) sexual assault, which might be upsetting to some readers. While it is not a main point of the book it is mentioned a few times, and I wish for everyone to be safe in their readings. While I would hate to dissuade anyone from reading this book, because it is truly a funny and wonderful book, please stay safe.

Now back to the fun stuff. Did I mention this is a slow burn? Because the burn is deliciously slow. Every interaction between the two main characters had me giggling and kicking my feet because they are both so stupid and in love and I wanted to scream. And the side characters? I love them. Well I love to hate some of them, Becky, and love to love others. Each of the side characters have depth to them, some back stories we still don’t know, and I cannot wait for the second installment of this book. All in all I think if you’re a fan of Romatasy, read this book. And while this might be a plus for some and a negative for others, it does not include smut. While there are cussing parts in the dialogue I’m not really sure what qualifies as a “clean” book nowadays I think this one is.

I give this book ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 5/5 stars because it’s funny, the characters are lovable, and it gives amazing “touch her and die” vibes.

Favorite Quote: (ps it’s kinda a spoiler so ignore it if you want????)

He was a good kisser, but of course he was. Attractive murderers were always good kissers; she was pretty sure she heard that expression before. Or maybe she made it up in one of the many daydreams in which she’d imagined that happening.

Don’t daydream about kissing your boss, Evie!

[christonbikes]

chapter 1 | innocence meets blonde boy

pairing: renjun x jeno

summary: In August of 1984, sixteen-year-old Renjun moves to Tennessee with a brand-new VHS camcorder and a dying wish to belong somewhere. What he finds instead is trouble when he stumbles upon a fight between two players of his new school’s baseball team and gets it on camera accidentally.

warnings: minor use of slurs; f*ggot, (said twice in one scene), language, nothing else i can think of let us know if we missed anything!

genre: slow burn, teenage small town love, fluff, angst, supernatural au, set in the 80’s, ghosthunter!dreamies.

wc: 4.9k

series masterlist

It’s late into the evening when his mom gets back from grocery shopping. He can hear her rustling around with the bags in the kitchen, setting stuff away and organizing the cabinets, and he laughs, remembering her habit of redoing the pantry every couple of weeks at their old place in Bloomsberg.

Erwin is very far away from Bloomsberg, but it still feels like summer here, maybe even more than it did in Pennsylvania. Renjun has always been a fan of birds and flowers, and plenty of those things fly and bloom here. Plus, he gets to start fresh, start anew. He left the old version of himself behind, the version of himself that was awkward with people and boring, and traded off to be someone with an expensive camcorder and reawakening for life.

He’s putting up all of his favorite books on the shelf when his mom peeks her head into his room.

“Hey, kiddo,” she says, “How’s it going?”

Renjun looks up from his spot on the floor, a book in his right hand. He smiles, holding up his thumb with his left. “Good. I’ll be done by nine o’clock, probably.”

“Cool. Hey, I was coming up from the store and saw a baseball field on the way. You should go check it out! I bet there’s lots of nice boys there,” his mom suggests. “Maybe you can make some friends.”

Renjun smiles at her sadly, setting the last book on the bottom shelf. He appreciates her investment in trying to help him have a fruitful teenagehood, really, but Renjun knows he’s been the odd one out all his life. He’s never been good at making friends, nor keeping them, and he understands that. But his mom still wants him to fight.

“Mom,” Renjun sighs, “You know I’m not good at making friends.”

She nods slowly, “I know, but just cause you’ve never been good at it in Pennsylvania doesn’t mean you won’t be here! Promise me you’ll give it a try.”

She looks at him so hopefully, and Renjun can’t find it in himself to say no.

“Alright, I’ll go tomorrow,” Renjun agrees. His mom smiles sweetly before closing the door, leaving him by himself with nothing but his thoughts.

*

By the time Renjun makes it to the baseball field the next day, he regrets not wearing shorts like his mom had advised. There are little trees around, so the sun catches him at every corner, blazing hot and bright.

Renjun huffs tiredly. He wipes at the sweat on his forehead with the loosest part of his shirt, camera resting in his limp right hand. There is a pretty garden in someone’s yard, but he decides to leave it unrecorded after noticing the sign above that reads “Surveillance on Property”.

Cutting through a patch of trees, he spots the main part of the field. A large parking lot blocks him from the gate. An array of teenage boys in baseball uniforms scatter amongst the space of the field, some catching balls and some throwing balls. Without counting, Renjun thinks there are about nineteen of them, more short than tall, but baseball doesn’t seem to be heavily reliant on height.

A lanky boy wearing a cap runs past Renjun quickly, heading for the field. He slams the gate open while trying to button his shirt. Some of the boys on the field look over in amusement, and one of the taller ones even laughs.

“You’re late, Park!” the tall boy yells, to which Park only dismisses him with a stressed hand.

“I’ll beat your ass,” Park huffs, dipping into the dugout entrance. He slings off his backpack and frantically looks for something in it.

Renjun looks back over to the field. He spots another boy with dirty blonde hair about ready to throw a baseball at someone else. Renjun watches for a minute as the boy winds back, curling his arm, and tosses the ball hard in front of him.

The ball soars a good twenty feet in the air before it stops abruptly, landing in a glove smoothly. Renjun looks down, trying to see who caught it.

His eyes land on a tall, well-built boy with sleek black hair. He smiles over at the other boy that threw the ball, and Renjun blinks, unabashedly staring. The black-haired boy’s smile is dazzling, pretty white teeth peeking out from underneath his lips. His eyes crease into two identical crescent moons.

Renjun’s never seen anyone prettier. His brows furrow in both confusion and endearment before he eventually turns back.

The sun is finally setting, and a light breeze rustles the trees. It’s peaceful. He pulls up the camcorder and films a leaf falling onto the stark black pavement. Picking up his feet, he heads toward his new house with a smile on his face.

*

The next day, Renjun has breakfast with his mom at their new kitchen table for the first time.

“What do you think of it so far?” his mom asks while buttering a loaf for them.

He deducts that she means Erwin, so he only shrugs. “It’s okay, I guess. Not that different from Pennsylvania, yet,”

“Oh, it will be soon,” she snorts, “Just wait ‘til it snows this winter and we can still get out of our front door.”

He hums, “Yeah.”

She glances over at him before crossing to the sink, starting the water faucet. It’s comfortably silent for a minute while the tap heats up, but once she grabs a dish and runs it under the water, she hums.

“How’s the VHS camera comin’ along? You like it?”

Renjun looks up from his food and nods slightly. “Good. I’m using it a bunch.”

She only nods in response, going back to washing the dishes. Renjun is glad she doesn’t press further. It’s not like he’s using it for anything bad, and he has been using it, so he didn’t lie. But later today he’s going to go out to the baseball field to film, and if a certain black-haired boy happens to be the main character of his recording, he doesn’t really need her interfering in that.

He finishes up his breakfast silently, thinking about the rest of the day.

*

Before heading out, Renjun makes sure to dress according to the location of the sun. It’s still as high as it was yesterday when he peers out his window, so he decides on a pair of loose jean shorts and a white, collared polo. He runs his hands through his hair, then fluffs it up with a light amount of his mom’s mousse spray.

He jogs over into his room, grabbing the camera, and heads out down towards the baseball field.

In the shorts, he’s a lot less hot than he was the day before, even surrounded by a little amount of shade. He flicks on the camcorder, steadying it against his shoulder, then leaning in.

The color doesn’t disappear inside of the lens, which excites Renjun beyond belief. He walks until he can see the field from within the camera’s space, zooming in on the boys that are already at practice.

He finds the black-haired boy quickly. He’s perched against the railing, over near the gate. The lanky boy with the baseball cap, Park, stands next to him, laughing and talking as the black-haired boy listens intently. It’s too far away to hear what they’re saying, but he just films as the two boys gesture towards each other gently.

A shout rings out in the following seconds, and both the black-haired boy and Park turn immediately at the sound. Renjun zooms out a little, catching the tall boy that was yelling yesterday pushing a shorter boy up onto the wall of the dugout.

Renjun gasps, sensing the intensity of the scene. The black-haired boy sprints over to the dugout where a crowd of the others is starting to form.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, faggot?” The tall boy spits on the shorter boy, tightening his grip on his uniform. “Touch me like that one more time and you’re dead,”

The short boy doesn’t say a word, but hisses back at the taller boy. He leans back into the wall before kneeing the tall boy in the balls.

The tall boy yelps, his grip slipping on the short boy. “You’re gonna regret your life,” the tall boy scowls, and then his fist is coming in contact with the other boy’s jaw.

Renjun watches in horror, wincing when a crack rings out amongst the field. The black-haired boy reaches them suddenly, ripping the tall boy away from the other boy.

“Dude,” the black-haired boy yells, “knock it off!”

“What, are you a fag too? Let me finish my business,” the tall boy grits, turning back to return to the dugout wall, but he’s stopped by the black-haired boy when he grabs his wrist.

The taller boy tries to step away, but stops abruptly, falling to the ground with a cry.

“Fuck, my wrist! You bitch!” the tall boy yells out, clutching at his arm on the ground.

The black-haired boy gasps in shock, leaning down, “I didn’t mean to-”

“Get away from me, you freak! You just ruined my entire season,” the boy on the ground cries out, making the black-haired boy back away.

Renjun stares ahead, shocked. It’s as if cement is pooled around his feet. He knows he should run, get the fuck out of here, before he’s spotted and then roped into it. But his camera is facing ahead of him, pointed right at the field, and he can’t find it in him to pull away.

He quickly decides to zoom into the lens once more to see if he can get a better view of the black-haired boy’s face, but suddenly, blonde hair blocks his way.

Renjun looks up abruptly, meeting eyes with another boy. He’s not on the field, and his body position is turned in the direction like he’s heading over to the scene.

The blonde boy stares at Renjun with an unreadable expression for another moment before turning back and running over towards the chaos. Renjun gulps, finally putting down his camera and fleeing into the bushes while he still has the chance.

*

The following day is a Monday, which means Renjun has school officially. He’s a week late, according to his mom, so it isn’t bad, as everyone else has just started too.

His mother drops him off at the entrance to the school at seven thirty in the morning with a “Good luck!” before taking herself to work. The school building is pretty, built with red brick and riddled with windows. It’s much smaller than his school was in Pennsylvania, but Renjun thinks that’s a good thing. There aren’t as many people to meet or mess up in front of.

He walks up the concrete walkway behind a group of girls. They’re speaking in hushed voices, probably nervous about something. One of them giggles, twirling her hair with a finger, and the others “Ssshh!” her fondly. At the front door, they all stop, lining up beside each other like kindergarteners would. Renjun’s seen this before at his old school, though. Girls like to stay in packs.

One of the girls with brown hair opens the door, then looks at Renjun expectantly. When he just raises a brow, she sighs.

“For you!”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” Renjun smiles at her.

She returns the favor. “No prob. You’re new here, right?”

Renjun nods, walking through the door and waiting for her to catch up. Her friends stay back a couple feet as they walk together.

“I thought so! Hi, I’m Amy,” the girl offers out her hand.

“Renjun. Nice to meet you,” Renjun replies, shaking her hand.

She smiles again, gesturing to her friends, “I gotta go, but if you need anything, you can always ask me!”

“Thank you, I will,” Renjun agrees, letting her go to her friends while he scopes out the building for its office.

It’s labeled with a large sign over the glass entrance, so he finds it quickly. He shuffles inside, making his way over to the desk in the middle.

An older lady sits behind the desk. She has glasses and dark brown hair curled into a bun. “Hi, what can we do for you today?”

There’s a heavy southern accent to her voice, but Renjun doesn’t mind. It’s quite different from Pennsylvania, and it fascinates him.

“I just moved here a week ago,” Renjun starts, trailing off when she immediately nods her head.

“Gotcha. Name?”

“Huang Renjun,”

“Found ya! Okay honey, let me print out your schedule and you can be on your way,” she says with a sweet grin. Renjun nods shyly, turning back to sit in one of the chairs he saw on the way in.

He lets himself admire the decorations while he waits for the papers to print off. The walls are painted stark white, and there are blue accents all throughout the room, such as the chair he sits in. A devil with a black handlebar mustache is encrusted on the floor in the center of the room. Probably, his new school mascot.

“Here ya go,” the office lady says, making Renjun look up from admiring the devil’s intricate face. “Your first class will be to the right, all the way down the hall. You can get your teacher to point you in the direction of the next one, and so forth.”

“I see. Thank you,” Renjun grabs the paper from her hands gently, turning towards the door. He takes note of his first teacher’s name before heading in the direction she’d instructed.

*

By the time the lunch bell rings, he’s rotated through three classes. His schedule says he has six, so he’s already halfway done. He waits like usual for all of his peers to leave for lunch, pretending to finish up science notes. His teacher for science, Mrs. Shertz, is a nice lady with stern expressions. He quite likes her so far.

He grabs his TinTin lunch box from inside his backpack, asking Mrs. Shertz for directions to the lunchroom before heading out of the classroom. It’s quiet down the hall, which is good for Renjun. Everyone here is a bit loud. Very opinionated, at least. So, he allows himself a moment to bask in his own mind.

“Hey, you!” A loud voice cuts through the silence of the hallway, abruptly stopping his train of thought. Renjun turns, assuming naturally it’s for him, since no one else is present, but upon seeing the same boy with the blonde hair at the field from yesterday, his eyes widen.

Turning on his heels, he tries to pretend he doesn’t hear as the boy continues to yell at him. His feet pick up, but so do the boy’s, and suddenly, a hand is wrapping around his lunch box.

Renjun stops, scowling. He wipes off the tin gently with his jacket sleeve, pretending not to notice the boy standing in front of him.

“Yo! Are you deaf?” the kid scoffs, staring straight at him. Renjun looks up and lolls his head around as if this interaction in its entirety is pointless.

“No. Don’t touch my stuff,” Renjun spits, finally glaring at the boy. He’s a bit taller than Renjun, with even more painful blonde hair up close and an evil look on his face.

The boy crosses his arms. “Maybe if you didn’t ignore me, I wouldn't have had to." He trails off, shaking his head. “Whatever. I don’t have time to frolic around,” the blonde boy says, “I need that footage you took yesterday. I know you know what I’m talking about.”

Renjun definitely does, but he already has a bad taste in his mouth about this boy, so he just shrugs his shoulders. “No clue.”

The boy sighs, cocking his hip, “Don’t play dumb with me. I saw you at the field with your camera. You had it pointed right at the fight.”

This is true, too, but no blonde boy is going to bother Renjun so rudely like this. He hums in fake confusion. “Nope. I already told you I don’t know. You must have the wrong person.”

“Oh, bullshit, dude. I know a face when I see one. There’s not a lot of people around here that carry VHS cameras,” he laughs mockingly, “Plus, you wore that shirt yesterday.”

The blonde boy raises an eyebrow, tipping his head down towards Renjun’s chest. Renjun’s cheeks paint themselves light pink as he looks down at his shirt. Dammit, he thinks. “Fine, you got me. But why should I give it to you anyway? I have no idea who you are.”

The boy fake smiles suddenly, outstretching his hand. “Zhong Chenle.”

Renjun scowls. “Not good enough,” he frowns, “Bye, Chenle.”

Chenle sneers, yelling for him to come back, as Renjun walks away toward the lunchroom.

*

The sun beats heavily on Renjun’s skin. School here lets out at two forty-four on the dot, so by the time he is able to scurry past all of the students, the sun has risen to its peak in the center of the sky. Like Pennsylvania, August is warm and bright still. Even the end of the month glows with an undeniable heat.

He pulls at his t-shirt, already sticking to his skin. He can’t wait to get home to shower.

Renjun’s house is not far from downtown, and downtown is a five minute walk away from the school, so he lets himself breathe in the warm air. The neighborhood leading down into the shops is pretty and clean. He stops to look at a rosebush growing in someone’s yard.

Downtown is just as pretty, if not more. There are a fair amount of diners on either side of the road, and a drugstore on the far end. The courthouse is nestled in the center, but stands prouder than the other buildings.

Renjun makes a quick stop inside the drugstore to grab a coke and a candy bar. He still has allowance from the week before, so he figures he’ll put it to good use today.

He makes quick work of it, dropping an extra penny into the tip jar and saying a well-mannered goodbye to the elderly lady behind the counter. His free hand slides the door open, looking down at his candy bar, but instead of smelling the sweetness of the summer air, his head flies into a cotton shirt.

He stumbles back, unaware there was someone coming in on his way out. Looking up, he makes eye contact with a shorter boy. He has light orange, unnaturally colored hair, and a stern expression on his face.

“Um, I’m sorry-” Renjun says before trying to shuffle past but is stopped by the boy’s hand.

“You’re coming with me,” the boy says. He grips onto Renjun’s wrist, pulling him away from the store and into town again.

Renjun struggles in the boy’s hold, confused and annoyed. “Excuse me, what are you doing?” The boy says nothing. His hold never loosens on Renjun’s hand.

Renjun is dragged down the road a ways until they finally come to a halt at the door of a diner. Renjun finally tears himself out of the boy’s grip, immediately trying to make a run for it, but he hears voices behind him. One of them sounds familiar, so just for a second, he turns back.

A boy with blonde hair is sprinting towards him, along with four other boys on his heels. Renjun recognizes the blonde boy as Chenle, the same one from school and the field. His eyes widen, but the orange-haired boy has him cornered from behind.

Renjun curses under his breath. His only option now is the diner, so he heads straight for it, ducking past the group of teenage boys. He doesn’t bother to close the door once he’s inside, instead trying desperately to locate the bathrooms.

The sign is on the right side of the diner, and two doors with restroom signs perch below it. Renjun speeds into what he hopes is the men’s, and only once he’s seated himself inside the stall does he give himself a moment to breathe.

A minute passes, and no sign of the boys arrives. Still, he waits for another couple before deciding it’s safe to exit.

The door creaks when it opens, Renjun peeking his head out an inch to see if they’re around, but he doesn’t see any signs of blonde or orange hair. Swinging the door open the rest of the way, Renjun hears it hit something soft. He turns confusedly but realizes quickly the reason.

The orange-haired boy smiles condescendingly at him before looking up, and the next thing he knows, his head is being covered with black cloth.

*

The first thing Renjun can feel is an immense headache. His head is pulsing, and he scrambles for purchase, crying out when he can’t move his hands.

A laugh is heard from the corner before a spotlight is being pulled on him. He still can’t see properly, the cloth covering his eyes, but the relief is short-lived when the cloth is abruptly pulled off of his head and thrown to the floor. His eyes burn immediately, the bright light sizzling after he’d spent so much time in complete darkness.

Everything is blurry for a minute until the burn ceases. His eyes clear up, taking note of his current position, slouched over and tied to what looks like… a lawn chair? His head whips up when footsteps inch closer, and he meets eyes with a boy he’s never seen before.

This boy is taller than Chenle or the orange-haired weirdo, instead with light brown hair and an extremely dazzling smile.

His mouth opens, lips curling up like a bunny. Renjun would probably smile back if he wasn’t tied to a chair in the middle of a pitch-black room.

“Hi, sugar,” the tall boy says. His voice is the sweetest thing Renjun’s ever heard in his life, coated in honey and syrup.

He gets himself together enough to furrow his brows. “Where the hell am I?”

The tall boy laughs. “Aw, Lele, you got a cute one!”

At the mention of Lele, another boy steps into the light. Renjun knows it to be Chenle. His blonde hair bounces when he walks over.

“I didn’t mean to,” Chenle sighs, “He’s just the one that was walking around with the camera.”

“Wait, he’s the one with Jeno’s proof? No fucking way,” another voice sounds from the room.

“What do you mean, no fucking way,” Chenle laughs.

The orange-haired boy stalks out from the shadows. He scoffs. “He looks like a nerd. I don’t see how he’s supposed to help us keep Jeno on the baseball team.”

The tall boy to Chenle’s right scowls, “Says the kid who decorated his room themed after Cass Elliot’s albums.”

“It’s themed after her best hits!” the orange-haired boy whines.

Chenle laughs, ignoring both boys in favor of crossing over towards Renjun. He leans over Renjun’s frame, narrowing his eyes. “Give us the footage, and we’ll let you go.”

Renjun scorns, huffing a piece of his hair out of his face. “Is that seriously what this is about?”

“Listen kid, I always get what I want. And right now, I want your footage,” Chenle grits out.

“What could you possibly need it for so bad you’re willing to kidnap someone?” Renjun asks bitterly.

The tall boy sighs from behind Chenle. “You didn’t tell him? No wonder the kid said no. Poor thing,”

“I didn’t need to tell him shit, Jaem. He shoulda given it to me without reason,” Chenle snarls, still looking at Renjun.

Another voice comes from the right. “Lele, you should have told him. I think he would have been willing to help!”

“Jeno’s right, Lele,” Jaem says.

Chenle sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright then, leader Jeno, you come out here and tell him why I need the goddamn footage.”

Jeno, Renjun figures, laughs, finally stepping into the light. Renjun looks over, intrigued, but his jaw drops when he sees who it is.

The boy from the baseball field, with the shiny black hair and pretty smile and crescent-shaped eyes, Jeno, stands there sheepishly. One of his arms is hidden behind his back, and the other scratches gently at the nape of his neck.

Jeno smiles at him shyly, and Renjun realizes Jeno doesn’t know who he is. His body melts into the chair.

Chenle backs away to stand with the orange-haired boy, and Jeno approaches him slowly, leaning down so they’re face to face.

“Hi. Uh, sorry about this,” Jeno says, gesturing to the chair and Renjun’s tied hands, “I’m Jeno. And you are?”

It takes Jeno asking for him to realize he even has a name. Renjun coughs, his voice scratchy from not speaking for so long.

“Renjun,” he says finally.

Jeno smiles, outstretching a hand before pulling back abruptly, taking note of Renjun’s situation. Renjun appreciates the thought anyway.

“Nice to meet you, Renjun. You already know Chenle, I’m assuming, so,” Jeno points at the tall brunette, “That is Jaemin, and the other one is Haechan. There’s also a Jisung, but it’s past his curfew, so he wasn’t able to make it,”

Jaemin waves cutely over at Jeno and Renjun, and although he’s a little pissed, he smiles firmly back. Chenle and Haechan just peer menacingly towards the pair.

“You can ignore them. Anyways,” Jeno laughs softly, “I guess you probably want to know about the footage now, right,”

Renjun nods, “That would be nice.”

“Yeah. Um, so as you saw that day, there was a fight at the baseball field,” Jeno says, “and I was in it. And I was trying to help, I swear, but I think I’m too strong for my own good, cause I accidentally broke a guy’s wrist,”

Renjun knows. He knows everything. He knows that Jeno was there, and that he was trying to break up the fight, and that he hurt someone. But he’s not planning on stopping Jeno to tell him, because that would mean he was watching Jeno and only Jeno, and no one except for Renjun needs to know that.

He nods softly, letting Jeno continue.

“I need to stay on the baseball team, because I’m trying to get a scholarship for school, and without proof I didn’t break his wrist on purpose, I’m in deep shit with the school board,” Jeno says hastily.

“He needs the footage so he doesn’t get kicked off the team,” Haechan huffs. Jeno looks back at him in warning before turning back and smiling apologetically at Renjun.

“I’m sorry it came to this, and you got kidnapped by boys from your school, but this team is really important to me. And you’re the only person that can help.”

Renjun really wants to stick it to him, to say no, fuck you, just because his friends are douchebags that peer pressure people, but he looks into Jeno’s warm brown eyes, and it’s almost impossible to speak at all. Jeno looks like a kicked puppy who just wants some love and attention, and something in Renjun pulls him towards his gaze. The fact that Jeno needs him, he needs Renjun, weighs heavily on his sad little heart.

Renjun sighs, head falling forward. “Fine. I guess I’ll help you out.”

Jeno exhales, a hand coming up to rest on his shoulder. Renjun looks up into his eyes.

“Thank you,” Jeno says, and it sounds so heartfelt Renjun can’t even pretend to be mad about being kidnapped.

Renjun nods curtly, but his jaw tenses as he thinks about his lack of retrieving film. “I don’t have any way to get it to you, though.”

“Told you nerds are useless!” Haechan interjects, throwing his hands up in the air. Chenle smacks them both down, while Jaemin chuckles.

“Easy fix,” Jaemin says, “You can use the Student Council meeting room. We have a film printer there.”

Jeno smiles brightly. “That’s great! Jaem can meet you there tomorrow at school.”

“Right,” Renjun replies. His wrists are starting to really hurt from the rope, so he shuffles around uncomfortably in the chair. “Uh, can I be set free?”

“Oh, of course!” Jaemin exclaims. He runs over to the darkness again, his silhouette disappearing for a minute before a grand amount of light comes on. Renjun looks around, finally able to see where these boys have taken him.

It’s not even close to what he was fearing. Instead of a dingy, musty basement filled with cobwebs and rats and other gross bugs, he finds himself surrounded by a pampered living room, with a dull, brown, leather couch, and a floral rug. A nice coffee table sits in the center of the room. Renjun’s position is over by the corner, and when he looks down, it’s definitely a lawn chair he’s been tied to.

Jeno rounds the chair, untying his hands and then the rope holding him down to the chair. When Renjun is untied fully, he brings his arms together, rubbing vigorously at each wrist.

Jaemin notices, humming. “I’ll get some lotion,” he says, running off to another part of the house.

Jeno scratches at his neck, sitting down onto the couch. “Welcome to Chenle’s living room.”

Renjun looks over to Chenle and Haechan, who are still standing in the same position. Haechan still scowls over at him, but Chenle looks a bit nicer for all the times Renjun’s seen him, his lips curving into a half smile.

Jaemin comes back, lotion in hand, and Renjun smiles back at Chenle.

[taytjiefourie]

hi im writing a character who is really into films and all that stuff so i want him to reference films in conversations and be really knowledgeable about it obviously but im not a film enthusiast so i have no clue where to begin !

Hey there! My advice to you is to do plenty of research - but don't worry, I'm here to help you out with that! Personally, I'm more of a book person myself and tend to doze off during movies, but I can give you a great starting point. You could begin by googling a list of movie or book characters who are also movie enthusiasts. One example I can give you is Stiles Stilinski from Teen Wolf, but there are plenty of others out there to inspire you!

As I go through this post, I just want to clarify that when you said "film," you meant "movie," right? Just want to make sure we're on the same page! But if you did mean "film" in the more technical sense, then there is a difference between the two, but don't worry - my advice still applies! The only thing is that the suggested websites I mentioned are more geared towards movies than films, so keep that in mind.

One thing you could consider when writing a character who's really into movies is to give them a specific genre, or a few genres, that they're particularly passionate about. After all, no one likes every type of movie, so it'll make your character feel more relatable and real. Maybe they're into classic films, or animated movies, or horror films - the possibilities are endless! Once you've figured out your character's preferences, the next step would be to google for lists of famous movies in those genres, ranging from well-known to more obscure titles. Even if you're not interested in watching all of the movies on the list, you can usually find good summaries online to get a sense of the plot and characters. Finally, you can dig deeper by googling the best quotes or lines from those movies, which can add depth and authenticity to your character's references.

Another approach you could take when writing a character who's really into movies is to choose specific genres that they enjoy, and then search for movie references as needed. So if your character wants to make a reference to a classic movie in a particular context, you could try googling "classic movie reference for saying 'no'" or something similar to find some inspiration. This way, you can add in references that feel authentic and meaningful to your character without having to do extensive research ahead of time.

Also keep in mind when writing a character who loves movies is to show that love through actions and not just dialogue. For example, your character could show excitement when they see movie-related merchandise in a store or online, or they could gush about their favorite films to a friend. Their room or house could be decorated with movie posters, and they might own clothes that reference their favorite movies. Additionally, your character could attend events or film festivals to immerse themselves in the movie world. Remember, people don't just talk about the things they like - they often show it through their behavior and actions too!

If you're looking for some helpful websites to research movies for your character who's really into them, I've got a few suggestions for you! Or Google does since that's what I used to find them.

IMDb: This is one of the most comprehensive movie databases out there, with information on movies, TV shows, and celebrities. You can use it to research movies, directors, actors, and more. Plus, IMDb has a user-generated rating system, which can give you an idea of how well-received a movie is.

Rotten Tomatoes: This website aggregates movie reviews from critics and audiences alike, giving each movie a "Freshness" score. You can use it to get a sense of how well-received a movie is, and to read reviews from professional critics and everyday moviegoers.

Letterboxd: This social networking site is specifically designed for movie lovers. Users can rate and review movies, create lists, and follow other users with similar tastes in movies. It's a great resource for discovering new movies and getting recommendations.

Film School Rejects: This website is dedicated to movie news, reviews, and analysis. They cover everything from blockbuster movies to indie films, and offer thoughtful commentary on the film industry as a whole.

ScreenCrush: This website covers movie news, reviews, and features, with a particular focus on the blockbuster movies and franchises that dominate the box office. They also offer plenty of fun movie-related content, like quizzes and opinion pieces.

Collider: This website covers all aspects of pop culture, including movies, TV shows, and comics. They offer news, reviews, interviews, and features, and have a particular focus on genre movies like superhero films and science fiction.

The American Society of Cinematographers: This website is a great resource for learning about the technical aspects of cinematography. Your character might enjoy reading about lighting techniques, camera angles, and more.

No Film School: This website is a community for filmmakers, with articles and resources covering all aspects of the craft. Your character might find useful tips and tricks for making their own movies, as well as insights into the technical aspects of filmmaking.

The Criterion Collection: This is a collection of classic and contemporary films, many of which are critically acclaimed. Your character might enjoy browsing the collection to discover new films to watch and learn from.

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences: This is the organization that runs the Oscars. Your character might enjoy reading about the technical awards, such as Best Cinematography, Best Editing, and Best Sound.

Your message put such a smile on my face! I love helping out and it was so great to see you asking for advice. It's always inspiring to see writers seeking to improve their craft. Remember, if you ever need more writing advice or have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out again. I'm here to support you on your writing journey!

[id0ntkn0w0101]

How to Plan a Book for Spontaneous Overthinkers - Basic Planning

Greetings readers and writers, in this post I will go over how I am planning my current novel. As always, please note that I am not a published author, just someone who has been writing for as long as I can remember and has both autism and a very short attention span. This means that my 'tism needs me to plan or I get overwhelmed, but my attention span hates the long process of planning and gets bored writing something that's already planned. So this is how I do my basic planning.

As mentioned in the previous post, this is the mindmap I use in OneNote for my planning. It's divided into steps, so I have markers for what needs to be done but is vague enough that I don't feel like I'm writing an essay about my idea. Here's how it works:

Genre Expectations: What are the expectations a reader will have if they look up your genre at the bookstore and find your book? If you're wanting to make money off of it, what will people want to read in that genre? For more information on this particular step, please see my previous post in this little series, found on my page.

The second step technically depends on preference. Sometimes I plan my setting first and other times I plan my characters. 2A: What is the status quo? This means what is the norm in this world. In order for their to be conflict, something needs to have changed. What disrupts the status quo? This could be a dragon attacking a medieval city or something as simple as a character getting broken up with. 2B: Who are your characters? I recommend 3 positive MCs at most, because any more than that will be hard to write AND hard to read. Which characters are the protagonists and which are the antagonists. Some characters may not be positive or negative, or they could change sides throughout the story. But the important thing to know is that you need at least 1 positive main character and at least 1 negative main character. I like to think of it as the antagonist pushing the story forward and the protagonist pulling the story back to normalcy. To tie it in to 2A, the protagonist is pulling the world back to the status quo.

What plot points do you know happen? Don't push yourself to plot map everything all at once if you don't know everything yet. Simply write down what you do know in chronological order. As a vague example: 1)Main character gets broken up with right as a major catastrophe occurs, 2)Main character slowly heals and meets someone new, 3)Main character discovers that their new lover was the one who caused the catastrophe. Ideally you'll have 5 plot points: 2 for the introduction/rising action, 1 for the climax, 1 for the falling action, and 1 for the conclusion. However, the more you plan everything else, the easier it will be to figure out the rest of the plot, so only write down what you already know. It's worth mentioning that this planning method will likely be used mostly for the first draft, and your plot points can majorly change once you write more and finish your first draft.

Where does all of this take place? I like to do this step now because by now I usually have a good idea of where everything is taking place. I recommend having a setting for each of the major plot points from the previous step, plus a general idea for the world this takes place in as a whole. Even if your book takes place in our own world, you still need to establish a general setting.

Themes! I love having this as my final step, because I usually know what my themes are by the end of the other planning steps. However, I am not an expert in themes, so if you aren't sure what themes your own work has, I recommend researching and figuring out what sticks. The theme is essentially the last piece of a puzzle: Sure it can exist without the last piece, but it will never be complete without it.

I hope you all enjoyed this post! I most likely won't be continuing the daily guide posts like this until I finish plot planning my own work in progress, but I might do a bit of a "writing diary" where I recap the work I do on my planning on the days where I work on it. If you have any questions and aren't an ass, please comment!

[esta-elavaris]

Hello! Same anon as yesterday for Catch the Wind - I just wanted to add that I really love that you research things! It is so nice to see that you don't just use stereotypes of the genre. It is very refreshing as someone who takes interest in historical things! And it shows through but you don't write down all the research so it's not becoming a history book (which I personally would still read lol) but it shines through. And of course there are bound to be inacuracies because they come from the very movies themselves BUT that is ok because everything else is so well done that it just neatly sits there. Suspense of disbelief and all that I mean magic and Achtland and Jones exist soo. It doesn't HAVE to be 100% accurate but it has a very good foundation in historical stuff! (Also I am by far not an expert of anything history but still)

So thank you for not only creating and writing these characters so well but also for putting them in an invironment that I thoroughly enjoy!

Oh and. And thank you that Theo doesn't fall into the "I'm not like other girls" trope! She is strong and independent but also she doesn't have to complain about the dresses all the time in order to be so. Or the corset trope.

I just love your story so much!!

Honestly it was always kinda funny when I ended up having to do historical deep dives for the sake of literally one throwaway sentence, which was why I usually ended up putting full explanations in my notes - not just as a way of being like "I do know what I'm doing sometimes lol" but because if I could put two or three paragraphs rambling about it at the end, I didn't feel like I'd just spent an hour digging into the next best historical alternative to a coffee table would be.

Thank you! 💜 I'm glad you enjoyed it! Avoiding the whole "not like other girls" thing was really important to me, not just because it's a gross trap to fall into. Literally the first thing I decided going into the story was that Theo and Elizabeth had to be friends, I really didn't want to make more of a thing than was wholly necessary of "boo hiss she's my competition, she's evil" especially as Elizabeth didn't return Norrington's feelings, so like? If she was a rival at all, she didn't even want to be, really? The idea of her always being at odds with the only really super prominent female character from the thing left a bad taste in my mouth. Also because it could just get so exhausting so quickly.

And it just felt so much more real and uh? More mature? I guess? For her to not mind the gowns and the dressing up for social occasions, rather than going down some weird route where she whines about the whole thing the way some 14 y/o emo kids pretend that the sight of pink makes them physically sick. Like she's a bit of a tomboy, but I never saw her as not being comfortable in her femininity either.

Like, if by the time the real drama and hardship hits, Theo has already spent 50k words by that time whining and complaining about having to wear skirts, basic gender rules of the time (deservedly or not, in that case), and crop tops being out of the question, the high-stakes hardship doesn't feel weighty, it just feels like yet another thing for her to complain about? I think she's a pretty pragmatic character, she can mostly roll with the punches, she's not going to choose something like skirts or corsets as her hill to die on, even if she finds them impractical at times. Plus I think she'd recognise that she was pretty lucky with James in that respect, because he's not really a "women should be seen and not heard" type of lad.

Plus, I know it was an actual plot point of the first movie and all, so I can mostly wave it away because of that, but the whole corset thing is one of the few things I do not like about the first one and the whole "you like pain? try wearing a corset!" line always makes me cringe 💀

But yeah, the movies having little slips like that really helped because it kinda gave me permission to play around with things a bit more than I could if it was 100% historically sound. Like you said, inaccuracies absolutely slipped through (some I was aware of, undoubtedly some that I wasn't, too), but I tried to approach it from a standpoint of like, if the majority of it was historically sound and reasonable enough, people would be more willing to suspend disbelief where it mattered because the rest felt believable.

I am so sorry for this beast of an answer 💀

[skysong39]

Aphantasia

I found out aphantasia exsisted a few weeks ago and have been meaning to draw something about it, but never had the time to so I just did a sketch as part of r/SketchDaily.

FAQ About Aphantasia

(some frequently asked questions I see about aphantasia/individual people's aphantasia)

A helpful guide to aphantasia, + more FAQ's!

What is aphantasia? Aphantasia is when your mind can't visualize or create pictures on command. There's also multisensory aphantasia, which is when you can't imagine multiple senses (which, by the way, I have). It's pretty rare (around 5%) and most aphants are born with it although it can be gotten later in life.

How do you draw from imagination? First of all, it is entirely possible to draw from imagination and I actually do that more often than not as most things I draw are things I have drawn for a while and I know how to draw them and usually don't have to use heavy referencing. Going back to the question, my imagination (and thoughts in general, plus memories) are word-based and not image-based. I conceptualize instead of visualizing, which is basically knowing the idea of the thing but not actually seeing the thing.

How do you plan your drawings? I know many artists will visualize their art before drawing, but obviously I don't do that. My planning comes, again, in the form of words. It's usually a vague description and then I either jump into sketching or doodle some thumbnail sketches.

Do you dream? Yes, and quite vividly. Aphantasia is being unable to visualize on command, and as far as I know is not linked to being unable to dream. My dreams have visuals, sounds, everything- while my mind has nothing. Note, everyone's different and many aphants do also have dreams without visuals.

Is aphantasia a disability? No, it's just a different way the mind works.

Do you like fantasy books? Yes, it's actually my favorite genre! I understand that many people find it hard to read as they feel like they have to visualize the scenery, but I've lived for 14 years without knowing it was a thing and never even thought that would be something that was supposed to happen when reading.

Feel free to ask more questions! I might not know the answers to questions about aphantasia in general, but I can definitely answer personal questions relating to it!