#questioning platonic attraction

[bonefall]

jayfeather and moleflight toxic yaoi…

Oh wow there's not even anything in the Molejay tag. Is this pair so rare it's not been done yet?

Jayfeather and Moleflight, toxic yaoi, "I named myself after the time I trounced your angelic ass" and "I've personally assigned my entire afterlife to trying to prevent you from causing chaos." They want to kiss each other sooo bad it makes them look stupid. The rituals, they are so intricate.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

what does platonic attraction feel like? how do i know if im experiencing it? also is greyplatonic or even demiplatonic a thing? how do they work?

hey! mod amaranth here

i found a handy reddit ask that you can peruse for some more in detail answers, but the general consensus on what platonic attraction feels like is a warmth or excitement over being with someone that lacks certain hallmarks of romantic attraction. personally, it's an urge to spend more time with someone, but without the urge for it to be romantic (although i don't feel romantic attraction, so)

being aplatonic is spectrum just like other parts of the aspec! so, yes, grayplatonic and demiplatonic are existing labels :)) i myself nebulously identify as demiplatonic!!

hope this helps! <3

[thehighestoctave]

Very interesting realizations are coming to fruition for me

[gandalf-the-bean]

the “alloromantic but i have a queerplatonic crush” experience is following every single aro and aroallo and qp related blog and tag and having a search history consisting of “how to know if it’s queerplatonic,” “how to ask for a qpr,” and that one random meme that came up in conversation that neither of you could find

[aroaceconfessions]

i feel like being aroace deters me from having close meaningful relationships with people. like, i love my friends and i want to give them everything, but i can't express my feelings fully in fear of it seeming romantic. maybe i'm actually alloro or demi without knowing it, but since i can't really differentiate between romantic and platonic attraction i just can't tell and it makes me more uncertain and afraid arghhhh. because romantic attraction seems as such a blurry concept that has a lot in common with platonic attraction and it's much harder to define and understand than sexual attraction. i'm always afraid to overstep some sort of boundary that i don't understand.

Submitted February 13, 2023

[mirokata]

my mood today

But it’s funny because I’m confused in the aromantic way

I’m so, so confused about what I’m feeling for somebody rn

It feels like a squish but a crush but it could also just be the temporary high of getting to know someone new. I mean there’s a bunch of *signs of something going on from both of us but… I don’t know how I feel about it. I feel kinda overwhelmed yet I kinda enjoy some part of… these new feelings. Like, craving emotional intimacy with a particular person. But it also scares me. I’m so confused about how I really feel about them.

It’s bizarre that I’ve never related to ANY love songs in my life but today this one just clicked, thanks to one single person. It’s wrecking my brain how that happened.

I don’t wanna dwell too much on it but it’d be nice to hear any thoughts, should anybody be reading this.

*Signs like:

It’s so obvious that we want to be physically close to each other (I do that with friends too but I guess it felt a little different, or I’m overthinking)

We keep anticipating possible opportunities to see each other. A hatable experience became something we now look forward to (but like, friends have that effect too?? I think?? but now I’m literally dressing up thinking about them instead of everything else that’s gonna to happen in my day)

I also know they recently fell in love with somebody and whoever it is, it’s been on their mind. Not necessarily me tho. I don’t know if I’d be jealous if it isn’t me but I know I’d panic if it were me.

Gosh I’m a 1am mess

[apl-culture-is]

can you explain the difference between caring about someone and experiencing platonic attraction to them?/g

I'll try my best. Caring well...usually involves wanting to take care of something or an individual, even if not necessarily all the time. You care which means you want them to be happy, grow, succeed, etc. You get sad when something bad happens to them. You are invested in their wellbeing and enjoy when they are doing well.

Attraction however is being drawn to them, you think about them during periods of time that you probably would not normally, want to spend time with them, actually want to make plans to do so.

Both can be great in feeling or little.

Caring about someone does not mean you will be drawn to them or make you want to spend time with them, though attraction can certainly help you care for someone as it will help remind you that they exist.

Caring about someone without attraction might feel like it's easier to do so when you are spending time with them in the moment instead of separately, and any efforts to show your care take more work.

As usual, I invite anyone else to add their own commentary.

[redysetdare]

Genuine question: What does platonic attraction mean. Genuinely i do not understand what it is supposed to mean.

Some ppl I've heard describe it as "wanting to be friends with someone" which to me doesn't feel right because I don't feel like I'm "attracted" (put in quotes cause im not sure what the feeling is) to the ppl i wanna be friends with.

Then i see ppl saying it means u want a strong platonic bond - like a QPR - with someone? but then i see ppl differentiate Platonic attraction and Queer Platonic attraction so Like... idk what thats about.

basically i am just confused as I overthink everything with the split attraction model and how complicated things have gotten the past few years since I've been inactive in the community.

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

questioning apl culture is having difficulty differentiating between emotional attachment and platonic attraction

<3

[aro-ace-from-outer-space]

Not Human

I used to wish for blue eyes

Blonde hair

And an American name

For a pretty guy who'd love me

For a friend who'd plait my hair

Maybe I'm not human

Cause

I've got icy cold hands

And a threaded nut on my finger

And my heart doesn't slam

In my chest

When I see someone pretty

Maybe I'm not human

Cause

I like peeling glue off my fingers

More than I like guys

Girls are prettier but

How would it work

To have two moms?

I can just pick a guy,

Right?

I should think someone's pretty,

Right?

I don't really like him but

That's okay

Oh I'm not

Supposed to have a crush?

Childish love a waste of time?

But years later you ask

In disbelief

"You never liked anyone?"

(I thought that's what

You wanted for me)

So maybe I'm not human

Cause

My hands are cold but

My heart is colder

And I don't know what

Love is anymore

And it's fine

Cause

I'm not human

I'm a self-made robot

I'm a bright pink alien

Ace up my own sleeves

Might disappear but please remember me

[maideninorange]

Does Yabusame have any favourite kind of person, trait wise or look wise?

Yes they do! Yabusame tends to really like people with black hair especially if they have a snarky attitude and are smarter than them (not that that's a very high bar to clear).

...Which in hindsight, does explain a lot about their attachment to Tsubakura lol. Though they find others with that profile pretty attractive too.

[soulless-bex]

learned about the term ‘aplatonic’ (describing one who feels little to no platonic attraction) recently.

that was enough to make me realize that i rarely, if ever, looked at someone and went ‘i want to friend that’. sure i’ve had friends, but it’s more friends like of circumstances. like, we both had nowhere else to sit for lunch kind of circumstances.

i dont think i’m aplatonic tho. maybe gray platonic. probably gray platonic.

[cpunkbubby]

4 the love of god i do not care.

[apl-culture-is]

might be stupid to ask this to an aplatonic blog.. but i was wondering if platonic attraction is the same as enjoying someone's company and/or wanting to get to know them?

Not stupid but this one is tricky for me. I think wanting to get to know them specifically might be some sort of attraction, and you could find out which. One could enjoy company though but not experience attraction. Like me who is Plato-indifferent, I don't mind someone's company and might even enjoy them being there. But that doesn't mean I seek them out myself, it would usually be the other way around. If someone stops reaching out to me, I'm not very pressed to continue communication or the relationship. People are free to go.

Attraction itself is usually defined as a draw to someone specific or maybe even something. It's this drive directed at them to do certain things according to the attraction. It doesn't always have to be a strong pull either, considering attraction can be casual or even people who are gray- (for example) who experience little or infrequent attraction.

It's important I think to remember desire and attraction are not necessarily mutual with each other all the time. Or in this case: satisfaction / pos feelings and attraction are not.

If none of this seems to suit you, remember people are unique and can have vastly different experiences from each other and this includes you but I'm sorry if doesn't.