#questioning platonic attraction

[mamawasatesttube]

Do you think Tim ever had one of those moments where once he realised he was bi, he reflected on how he felt about Kon, and realised it was a crush? In retrospect?

HMMM. ive been sitting on this and pondering. and ... kinda?

but the thing to me about tim, his feelings for kon, and his bisexual realizations, is that they are all tied up in one big tangled knot. he's been in love with kon for years without realizing it; he had a crush on kon in his yj days (guy who is constantly going "what is kon's opinion of me. i need kon to respect me and likeys me and think i'm a good leader. for normal reasons" ok tim), but even after he eventually figures out he's bi, he doesn't realize that that's what he felt for kon, because that crush has developed over the years into full-blown adoration, and he... uh... didn't notice.

like, by the time kon dies and tim goes off the deep end and tries to clone him 99 times, tim is head over heels. it's just that tim has not noticed that he's in love with kon at all. to him, it's just - this is normal, right? he has a huge depth of feelings for his best friend, and that's how he's always felt about kon. when he thought he was going to die on apokolips, he just wished he could have reconciled with kon. that's normal for him. that's baseline. right? this is a normal way for a guy to feel about his best friend. and yeah, tim is bisexual, but after ives he just kind of doesn't really seriously date any other guys, because, like... he could, and maybe he goes on a single date here or there, but there's always this little thought in the back of his head that, like, none of the other guys he meets are as hot and funny and smart and kind as kon. man, guess having a best friend who's a 12/10 really just sets his standards high, huh?

like i just think tim's feelings for kon are such a huge part of his life for so long that the actual nature of them and the depth of them kinda just creeps up on him. it happens so gradually and is such a deep and abiding love by the time they're adults that he doesn't notice for a long time. because he's always adored kon, and by the time kon died and came back, tim already knew he loved him so so so much that living in a world without him felt unbearable. the fact that that love turned romantic somewhere along the line? he has no idea!!! he doesn't even know he's bisexual when that happens, so he's just so used to that being "how he feels about kon, his boy best friend" that he takes forever to realize he is, in fact, in love with him.

but yeah eventually he does put together that, ah, he has been into kon for an embarrassingly long time. without noticing. oop! he's going to go sit on a rooftop and brood and wonder if anyone else noticed before he did (most people who know him did).

[confused-spood]

quick I need every qpr information you people know

So I have this friend that we've been pretty close and they know I'm aroace although am still quite open for a rs meanwhile they're pan and is also quite open. Like I've said, we're close, and just yesterday they opened up to me that they had a dream about us being platonically affectionate but something like the "bff premium" thing that's going around in the internet lately and while they thought it was weird they really didn't mind if that were to happen. But they also clarified that they don't rly mean it romantically, instead purely platonic.

As the affectionate aromantic I am to all of my friends, I am very vocal about my love so I say ily to my friends all the time, platonically ofc (and they know that too), and this person isn't an exception to that so we've both declared our platonic affection for each other.

I'm wondering if I should hike it up to being a qpr because honestly this is rly kind of what being in a qpr is BUT I need more information and the current info I have isn't enough tbh

[bonefall]

jayfeather and moleflight toxic yaoi…

Oh wow there's not even anything in the Molejay tag. Is this pair so rare it's not been done yet?

Jayfeather and Moleflight, toxic yaoi, "I named myself after the time I trounced your angelic ass" and "I've personally assigned my entire afterlife to trying to prevent you from causing chaos." They want to kiss each other sooo bad it makes them look stupid. The rituals, they are so intricate.

[muscari-melpomene]

Have you ever felt so seen by something,

[ari-alt]

Fml is this a crush or do I just wanna be friends with this guy

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

what does platonic attraction feel like? how do i know if im experiencing it? also is greyplatonic or even demiplatonic a thing? how do they work?

hey! mod amaranth here

i found a handy reddit ask that you can peruse for some more in detail answers, but the general consensus on what platonic attraction feels like is a warmth or excitement over being with someone that lacks certain hallmarks of romantic attraction. personally, it's an urge to spend more time with someone, but without the urge for it to be romantic (although i don't feel romantic attraction, so)

being aplatonic is spectrum just like other parts of the aspec! so, yes, grayplatonic and demiplatonic are existing labels :)) i myself nebulously identify as demiplatonic!!

hope this helps! <3

[thehighestoctave]

Very interesting realizations are coming to fruition for me

[mizzingyou]

after Recent Experiences i realized that i am firmly on the aromantic spectrum. shoutout to my fellow quoiromantics 🫶

[lazthecat3]

imagine wondering if your arospec because your friend held your hand.......... pshhhh I would never do that /sarcasm

[asteroid-fruitcup]

guess who just spent the entire night questioning if they’re aromantic

[confused-spood]

ok so the girl I like yes I'm still aroace has an ongoing fight with her boyfriend that's like already a few weeks in, and guess who's swooping in

✨Me~✨

[biprotagz]

sooooooo why aren't morgan and garcia canon?

[walnutcookie]

ive had an. Intersting relationship with my aromanticism honestly.

[moldonacorpse]

Making my ballsona made me so unreasonably happy <3

More about the process:

So I started off by writing down all my identities.

Then I made this sketch:

Then I tried to draw it on my phone:

Then I realized I hated how it looked, so I completely scrapped it and made the sona you saw at the beginning:)

[aspec-advice]

How do you tell the difference between a queer platonic feeling and a romantic one?

And how do you tell someone you feel the former instead of the latter?

I've been struggling with this for a while.

Hello!! For the first question, I think the main difference between queer platonic attraction and romantic attraction is the physical aspects, like when I like someone romantically, I feel really nervous around them and get butterflies when I think about them I also, most of the time, want to always be near them and like want to hold their hand and go on dates and stuff. I don't know what it's like to experience queer platonic attraction, but I would assume it's different than that. If not, I apologize for my ignorance on the subject. As for the second question, my best advice would be to tell them straight up that you're not romantically interested in them and then explain to them what queer platonic attraction is and that you do feel that for them. If they don't take it well, that's not your fault and you don't owe them anything.

I hope this helped!

mars

[void-tiger]

Maybe it’s the “avoidant” part of my “fearful avoidance,” but. I really just…don’t care if someone I’m attracted to romantically likes someone else, or doesn’t share those feelings. Like, you do you. We’re not dating or owe eachother anything, and it all boils down to autonomy and compatibility, anyway. (And let’s face it, I don’t believe I’ll ever be compatible with anyone in terms of physical intimacy and I’m not able to compromise that without bruising my own boundaries, so.) But also like. I’d just. Turn attraction “off” if I could reach inside my head and flip a switch. Sadly humans aren’t that simple. Absolutely unfair.

Nah. What does get me into the Fearful instead (and struggling with that FA push-pull of “keep away/please don’t leave”): whether or not someone even wants to be my friend. Especially when I also accidentally developed attraction to them.