#quotes from my family

[reiningsoral]

me, showing my little sister how to play ddlc: ok so which one do you wanna romance?

her: monika

me: oh. um. you cant.

her:

[suncast-moth]

"I know the answer to Garfield's question. "Where are my testicles, Jon?" Collection."

-My older brother... jfc

[jesseevelann]

Deidara: *clings to Tobi, pressing his face into his chest* *lets out a sigh off relief*

Tobi: Senpai? Are you okay...?

Deidara: You're... so warm, hm...

Tobi: ... And...?

Deidara: Everything else feels like FUCKING ICE!!!

Tobi: Oh... Senpai doesn't like the cold?

Deidara: I was built to tolerate HEAT. And HUMIDITY. Not the FUCKING COLD!!!

[stormikitty]

My dad: so a smaller amount of people is easier to control because there's not enough of them to fight back.

Me: wtf all I asked was why we buy canned soda if you're worried about aluminum affecting our health

[wombywoo]

detour 🚘

[headofocs-inklesspen]

Tuned back into the conversation at lunch yesterday just in time to hear my aunt go “anyway I’m gaslighting my office manager. So that’s been fun”

[greywoe]

child ward in search of belonging indulges in juvenile fantasies as a coping mechanism. sad!

[justanotherfanwriter]

Damian: It is such a cloudy day.

Dick, over the comm link: Good, Robin, but when I said talk to her, I meant empathize with the survivor. Her son just passed away.

Damian: I’m sorry your son died on such a cloudy day.

Woman: *crying intensifies*

Dick, over the comm link: . . . Okay, sure, we’ll work on that.

[if-you-like-pina-colada-s]

Bruce, walking into the manor: Hello people who do not live here.

Clark: Hi :D

Diana: Hey!

Oliver: 'sup man

Dinah: yo

Hal: Hiii

Barry: Heyo

Arthur: wassup

Billy: Hey

Bruce: Why are you here??

Barry, mouth full of doritos: We ran out of doritos

----

Bonus:

Bruce: Alfred, why the hell did you let them in??

Alfred, casually having tea w J'onn, whose just happy his son has friends: They ran out of doritos master Bruce, what was I to do? Let them starve??

Bruce: >:(

[reiningsoral]

my friend: maybe i should get tumblr.

me: no

him: what? why?

me, actively scrolling through tumblr: it's terrible here

[suncast-moth]

"If she spread her ass cheeks and 15 guys hopped out, I wouldn't be surprised" - my stepdad

"Her ass is the clown car" - also my stepdad

My stepfather has such horrible quotes, jfc

[jesseevelann]

"Dad says I speed in his car... heh, I speed in all cars."

- Uchiha Sarada

[jackshiccup]

Omg, you bound a fanfic? Can we see the finished project? It must be beautiful!

hello hehe yes i did :) i was only going to show friends but i guess this is a good excuse to post pictures of it 🫶🏽

it’s my first ever hardcover bind so i was prepared to make a lot of silly little mistakes and this one definitely does, but i love how it turned out still, i think she’s so cute .. i’m also just happy to finish a personal project that took up so much time to make 🥹

anyways, enjoy the pics and most importantly: stream otnwas on ao3 and youtube teehee🤞🏽❄️!

[teachyouhowtodothesponge]

More silly doodles of the Pillars! Seriously, I would watch a spin off of Howdy's family. They have so much character!

[sonadowkismesis]

sorry, no art this week. just edits of fem!ford of varying quality. her name's andromeda. grauntie andy. and i love her

[basil--and--sage]

*somewhere in Erebor*

Dori (in the process of tailoring Thorin a new coat): There you go. How do you feel?

Thorin: Like I said a dozen times, it is fine! I am late for court!

Dori: Fine is not good enough. Do you feel bonita?

Thorin: Do I- what?

Dori (through his teeth, a vein protruding on his forehead): Do. you. or. do. you. not. feel. bonita?

Thorin:

Thorin (starting to sweat): ... Come to think of it, I do indeed feel bonita.

Dori (delighted): Wonderful!