#source: family guy

[foolilazuli]

Lian: Hey dad, Jaydad’s texting you

Roy, busy with something: Ok cool, can you answer it for me, pumpkin?

Lian: He’s asking if you want meatballs or hamburgers for dinner

Lian, texting back: Same thing, bitch. Different shapes

Lian, turns off phone: 🙂

[gay-dorito-dust]

*on a mission*

you: i've got to get back before Bob realises i'm not in bed!

*meanwhile back at the Watchtower with Bob looking for you, swaddled in a blanket, on the brink of crying*

bob: (name)? (name)!

[dangraccoon]

Alpha-17: I just have one rule here: no kissing the general.

Cody: I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

Alpha-17: You haven’t seen him.

Obi-Wan: Hello there :)

Cody: …wow.

[thealtoduck]

*(Civil war era): Tony doing an interview with Peter to see if he should really make him an intern*

Tony: So Peter, where do you see yourself in 5 years?

*Peter’s brain: Don’t say ”Doing your wife”! Don’t say ”Doing your wife”! Don’t say ”Doing your wife”!*

Peter: Doing your-…

*Sees a picture of Y/n Stark on Tony’s desk*

Peter: -Son…

Tony: …?

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Toddler!Y/N: Do you or do you not feel Bonita?

Bruce: *sighs in tired dad; his nails all painted different color and makeup that makes him look like a clown smeared on his face* I feel Bonita.

Y/N: *clapping excitedly at her work* Wonderful! Because you look Bonita!

[superiorsturgeon]

Gilded Rose/Wolf Ruby: Collar

Jaune: Ruby…? Why are you wearing a collar with Pyrrha’s name on it?

Ruby: Uhhhhhhh…

Ruby: …why aren’t you?

Jaune:

Jaune: *putting on a matching collar* You’re all right, Rose…! You’re all right!

Pyrrha: WE ARE IN PUBLIC!!! 🫣

[petitprincess1]

Lucifer: Now. Do you or do you not feel bonita?

Sinner Adam, wearing a fitted robe: *long sigh* ...I feel bonita.

Lucifer, grinning genuinely: Wonderful! Because you look bonita!

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Rio: [pulls up to the drive-thru]

Rio: I’ll have 3 cheeseburgers—

Billy: Rio! Agatha is in labor!

Rio: [looks at Agatha in the backseat]

Rio: And a kids meal.

[teenwolf-incorrectquotes]

Scott: Woah! You managed to escape the Hale house? That must have taken some serious cunning! Stiles: It certainly did! -----[earlier]----- Stiles: Can I go outside? Derek: Okay, but be safe, it's getting dark. Call me when you're home. Stiles: Okay! [walks out the front door]

[totallyrwbyquotes]

Yang: [waking up in a hospital] What happened to me?

Weiss: This book should explain everything.

Yang: A Farewell to Arms? I fell in love with a nurse during WW1?

Weiss: No just the title. It's- There is no way you read this book.

[leorobotsworld]

Nurse Jaune II

*Jaune is preparing the bed for Yang's broken leg*

Jaune: *reading instructions* Insert rod A into slot B

Yang: *snickers* That's what she sa-

Jaune: If you say that one more time, Im gonna pop you

[jasonsthunderthighs]

Dick: *Walks in wearin his discowing outfit*

Jason: Hey, Dick. You know I love you, but that outfit, it ain't for you

Dick: I knew it. I think I just needed to hear it. Thank you, Jay.

Tim: *Comes with a more terrible Red Robin outfit*

Jason: Uh uh.

Tim: *Turns back round* Copy that.

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

Fugitoid: I just have one rule: NO KISSING THE ALIENS!

Raph: I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.

Fugitoid: You haven’t seen any of them, so don’t say that yet!

[Later]

Mona Lisa: Hello!

Raph: Wow…

[sapphiretanto]

I always feel like 2012 Leo post Season 5 just said “Screw it” and stopped holding his tongue and said whatever came to mind

*Early Morning at the Hamato home and Mikey is rousing everyone for breakfast… with a bugle*

Mikey: *blowing the bugle in the tune of “Reville”* EVERYBODY UP! I MADE BREAKFAST! BE IN THE KITCHEN AT 6 AM SHARP!

Raph, Casey, April, and Donnie: *covering their ears and glaring at Mikey when he blows the bugle directly in their ears as they blearily stumble to the kitchen*

Leo: *rubbing his eyes as comes towards the kitchen*

Mikey: *blows the bugle in Leo’s “ear”*

Leo: *flinching* OW! FUCK!! *glaring at Mikey* You blow that fucking horn again, I swear to god, I will ram that fucking thing up your GODDAMN ASS!!!

Mikey: … *slowly puts the horn down*

Raph: *mostly shocked and mildly amused*

April, Casey, Donnie: … *stare wide-eyed as Leo stumbles into the kitchen for tea*

[stifledcreativity]

Remus, lying in a hospital bed: What happened?

Logan, holding a book: This should explain everything.

Remus: “A Farewell to Arms” *GASP* I fell in love with a nurse during World War I?!?

Logan: No, no, just the title, it’s-

Logan: There’s no way you’ve read that.

[book-place-incorrect-quotes]

Bucky: *trying to pull Y/N up from the side of a cliff she fell off of* Y/N, I can’t hang on!

Y/N: Pretend I’m your teammate, Bucky!

Bucky: *loosens his grip*

Y/N: NOT PETER- NOT PETER