#ranpo is not good at sewing

[strayai]

canon compliant souheki where ranpo tries to make dazai an oda plushie for his birthday/an occasion

[pretty-oooodd]

BSD men with a punk s/o!!

Featuring: Dazai, Chūya, Atsushi, Ranpo, Kunikida, Akutagawa, Sigma, Fyodor, Nikolai.

TW/CW: no tw, this is a fluff "domestic" one. Mention of tattoos, piercings. Let me know if you want me to add more (bc I'm not really practical with tws).

Enjoy <3!!

DAZAI is the kind of guy that's always been interested in these kinds of subcultures, especially punk, but he didn't really had the reasons or will to get into it.

He likes the trash pants, the one full of patches, chains and tears.

But his absolute favorites are the skinny ones full of tears, with fishnets underneath them.

He's a big tease, so he would really have fun poking the holes in his s/o's clothes. Especially the ones on their tights.

You have tattoos? Cool, give him sharpies (Crayola ones) and he'll color your tats.

Piercing on your lips? He'll make sure to lick it when he kisses you.

Ow come on, our buddy CHŪYA is a punk soul.

Argue with the wall.

He listens to punk music with his HEART.

And kinda likes the clothing, he just prefers his elegant attire.

So, if his s/o is punk he will love it. Absolutely admire you for your style and strong ideals, bc let's not forget what punk is abt!!

If you have tattoo sleeves, especially flowers, he STANS.

Nose piercings and studs lover here. He himself wants a nose piercing.

If you wear the same size clothes, he maybe steal something from your closet.

Would probably bring you to a concert.

ATSUSHI is so soft and probably doesn't like studs but he would never offend you ^^

He wasn't really interested or educated on this community before meeting you.

He learned the lace code just for you!!

Doesn't really understand and like the music, but supports you and everything you like!

He LOVES your tattoos! He thinks they are so cool.

If you have piercings he will make sure to learn how to clean them and help you with it.

RANPO thinks that your style is interesting but doesn't really mind it.

If you're a messy, chaotic person, you will get along.

If you have one of those wonderful haircuts like Mohawks or just bright hair color he will absolutely love it.

Likes playing with your hair and coloring your tattoos.

The patches in your pants and vests are his favorite parts.

Doesn't listen much music in general, so punk isn't really his problem anyway.

LMAOOO, HOW???

I still haven't understood what's KUNIKIDA's "ideal woman".

Btw, he isn't a fan of punk or these cultures in general but likes you anyway.

Considers tattoos and piercings (everything abt this style) "unprofessional".

And he will tell you but there's nothing he can do abt it.

We stan a punk monarch.

Will always be the one to remember you to clean and treat your tats and piercings.

Kinda likes the dedication you put into styling your own clothes and hair.

And he likes the fact that the community expresses its ideals too.

Bro doesn't care.

Lord give him two shits to give pls.

Jkjk, AKUTAGAWA kinda likes the "aggressive" style.

He's into the metal music probably idk.

Likes the studs and boots with platforms.

Likes to sew the patches on your vests and pants.

Piercings like nose bridge are his absolute favorites!!

You shaved your eyebrows for him, how sweet.

He's an introvert but the moshpit would be his natural habitat, just to let the rage out.

Poor man, SIGMA got scared the first time he saw you.

He doesn't fully understand the "use" or "meaning" of this style but he's learning.

Not a fan of the music but loves you, so he will listen something if you ask him.

He likes your tattoos, as he thinks of them as a form of art that makes you unique.

Piercings aren't his thing tho. Really doesn't understand them but loves earrings.

You two probably have some matching sets of earrings.

He finds punks intimidating but in a good way.

HOW PT. 2?????? WHAT?

I mean, I think FYODOR's kinda into metal and goth things but punk???

Punk really isn't his thing.

Doesn't like piercings, idk.

But tats are a form of art for him, just like painting.

He appreciates your dedication to the ideals even if he doesn't fully agree sometimes.

His favorite parts of your outfits are the boots!

He probably likes your hair too, bc they're particular.

Doesn't like the concerts so he won't come with you.

He probably looks cool af in a leather jacket with studs.

NIKOLAI is a biiig tease.

He likes to play with your hair and piercings.

He's the prime example of man child: give him sharpies and he will color your tats gladly.

Probably wants to get a piercing just like his s/o!!

He dies your hair. You have no escape from this.

Skinny jeans fan!!

Nikolai isn't really into punk music but likes early 2000s emo culture (early Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy).

My boy will torment you if you don't let him try your clothes on.

[feralshadowdemon]

Chuuya and Poe friendship headcanons because I love these two to death

Drunken rambles by Chuuya being annoyed about Dazai. Possibly at least one with Poe rambling about Ranpo but also Poe probably doesn't drink a lot if at all, so it's mainly Chuuya having these drunken rambles as Poe gives him pats on the back and just doing an awkward thumbs up of reassurance when Chuuya says "And what he did was so fucking stupid, right?"

Their movie nights are on the weekends and they usually watch horror/murder mystery movies - whether it be making fun of the horror movie tropes, trying to solve who the murderer is in the mystery movies, or just in general pointing out flaws. Plus, sometimes they find some of the movies they watch pretty good

Sometimes they have book clubs; usually murder mystery or horror genres end up being the ones they cover in the book club, but sometimes they check out the romance genre. There was a time when one of the members of the Port Mafia found Chuuya reading a romance book and slowly walked away pretending they saw nothing (It was probably Higuchi)

One time Poe and Chuuya both got drunk and somehow ended up making a conspiracy theory about how Q looked like a lovechild of Fukuzawa and Mori. They still believe it but of course never told a soul. They still have the bulletin board they made that has all the evidence somewhere

Karl has a little sweater, Chuuya made it one time out of spite when Dazai said he couldn't knit/sew. Dazai was proven wrong but still questions how Chuuya managed to do it. Poe doesn't know either but Karl likes the sweater so no questions are to be asked

One time Poe asked Chuuya to take care of Karl so Chuuya walked Karl around the Port Mafia with a child leash. Many questions were asked that day but no one got a good answer

Poe and Chuuya fall asleep when a movie is too boring for them. Karl acts as their alarm once the movie ends

When Poe and Chuuya first met Chuuya did not have the feral urge to bite Poe's ankles like he does with many other tall people. He still didnt like the fact Poe made a book to trap him in, but you know what it's okay, Poe has a pet raccoon

[sensitiveheartless]

(crime crossdressing dazai anon) I'm gonna claim the moniker of goblin anon bc that is easier to type and i am on my phone :p

Anyways you know the drill, more ADA Chuuya brain rot

1) In case I didn't make it clear last time, Atsushi and Kyouka are absolutely adopted into the Nakahara family. Kenji is kinda adopted too, he's kinda like their cousin.

2) Dazai got really into finger weaving and sewing (cause he's gotta be able to do some of the chores, he can't cook, he'll set water on fire) and makes things for people.

3) Dazai and Chuuya are both emotionally constipated idiots, so they show affection through gifts: Dazai with plushies he claims he finds and Chuuya with food. Ryuunosuke and Gin have matching Umbreons: Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way and her boyfriend Draco Malfoy.

4) Fukuzawa knows that both Dazai and Chuuya are ex Port Mafia (as does Ranpo, bc of course) because they told him at the beginning. Because of that, they're often sent on the more legally grey missions, where they would have to skirt the law a lot.

5) Chuuya and Kunikida actually don't get along. Chuuya tends to puts his family and loyalty above his morality, and Kunikida usually puts his Ideals over everything else. (This causes a lot of problems when it's revealed that they were Soukoku)

6) In order to go undercover, Dazai got them new names... while drunk... so legally they are Dazai Chuuya and Nakahara Osamu. They joke that they're married (no one really wants to be the ones to tell them that it's not a joke anymore). Ango is slowly going insane.

7) Related to last post, Dazai doesn't like Mori, but understands he's good for the city in the long run and is willing to keep his grudge to petty annoyances. Chuuya will kill Mori on sight. Chuuya is not allowed at the treaty meeting (he does sulk about this).

8) Chuuya doesn't gain control of Corruption when he joins the ADA, but he extends the amount of time he can be in Corruption before he starts hurting himself. (He also didn't join the ADA at first because he was afraid of being backstabbed by another organization)

9) Finally, to leave off on a gut punch, Chuuya was the one to bury Oda :)

KSDFJSKDFJSD goblin anon please know that last one killed me, WHY—CHUUYA HAS BURIED ENOUGH PEOPLE but oh man. I love all of thissss, I can totally see Chuuya and Kunikida clashing tbh, Chuuya does not have ideals in the same way as Kunikida does—also I'm weak for the Nakahara family aaaaah also soukoku WOULD sort-of get married and then just continue on as usual lololol

[kunikidas-lost-glasses]

BSD college!AU headcanons pt. 1

---------------------------------------------------

Tws:Dazai typical mentions of depression/sh, very slight mentions of (social-) anxiety, slight mention of OCD and panic disorders, mentions of past abuse, mention of car crash

Pairings: Soukoku, Shin Soukoku, Shibufyo siglai, Ranpoe, Suegiku and Odango get mentioned in this post. In my other posts there will also be Montcott, Steincraft, Higugin and maybe some developing Mystery trio/ Perfect crime trio.

College!AU without thier abilitys. Also Oda is alive. Obviously thier mental health isn't as fucked up as in canon here.

---------------------------------------------------

Shibusawa studies fashion design and spends the most of his time designing and sewing new clothes for his boyfriends, for himself and for his major

Fyodor and Dazai frequently help Shibusawa out and model for him. Nobody knows how he convinced them to do it but apparently it worked

Chuuya secretly plays pocket love where he made himself and Dazai and choosed a dog as pet

Nikolai, Dazai and Ranpo are chaotic besties

Nikolai and Dazai both listen to "The Smiths " and always talk about the songs or do dramatic playback to them

Fyodor and Dazai have a weird hate friendship where they piss each other off the whole time or always try to get the higher scores than the other but as soon as one of them is obviously stuck in a depression hole again or as soon Fyodor passed out due to his anemia again, they seem really worried about the other one

Bram is a wheelchair user who can walk really short lengths since he got hit by a car while he crossed the street years ago

Sigma and Bram are best friends and always get super excited when they see each other in lectures

Dazai's and Chuuya's dorm is right next to the dorm of Nikolai, Fyodor, Sigma and Shibusawa and the walls aren't that thick so Dazai, Nikolai, Shibusawa and Fyodor casually annyoy each other by doing normal activities super loud, blast music or knock against the wall which separates thier dorms

Oda and Ango are both teachers but they know Dazai since he was 14 years old and they basically adopted him

Nikolai is a drama major and his boyfriends never missed a show or a theater rehearsal of him

Chuuya works part time at the local pet shop

A lot students and professors are scared of Fyodor and Nikolai for very obvious reasons

One time Nikolai fell and hurt his leg a lot on stage during a rehearsal and Fyodor shot up from his seat and run onto the stage so quickly that the others were worried that he would pass out any moment from the sudden quick movement

Fyodor's and Nikolai's dorm is usually a mess where the floor aswell as Fyodor's desk is completly covered with books, papers, clothes, kitchenware/dishes, playing cards, watter bottles and god knows what

Bram is, just like Lovecraft, always sleeping and in any location so one can find them sleeping in the most random places of the college. This happens very often

Sigma has no idea how he ended up with Fyodor, Nikolai and Shibusawa but he isn't complaining about it

Fyodor and Nikolai have both russian/ukrainian accents but Fyodor's is much thicker than Nikolai's. Sometimes one has to listen very closely to understand him

Bram has an irish accent

Sometimes Fyo forgets some words in japanese and awkwardly asks Nikolai what it means. Dazai makes fun of him bc of this.

Chuuya is the front singer of the college band which he founded with Akutagawa, Gin,Higuchi and Tachihara

Dazai falls even more in love with Chuuya (if this is even possible) everytime he sees him perform.

Dazai was the old tutor of Aku but he simply dropped him off. Now he is a much better tutor to Atushi, causing Aku to full on hate Atushi after they met

Everyone thought they would be having a mass hallucination after Atushi and Akutagawa made thier relationship public

Ranpo being the adopted son of Fukusawa the headmaster

Sigma is good friends with Atushi and they both try to calm each other's anxiety before exams but they end up panicking together

Poe is a rich exchange student from america who secretly keeps his racoon Karl in his and Ranpo's dorm

He even secretly carries Karl with him in his backpack

Jouno and Tecchou are both in the military but take side classes in the university

Nobody wants to mess with them

Yosano studies medicine and she is always scolding Dazai for his still pretty unhealthy way of living (He tries to get himself together for Chuuya and for Oda and Ango tho and they help him)

She also would scold Fyodor who has even unhealthier habits but even she is kinda scared of him

Fyodor takes afternoon classes, sleeps until late in the morning, stays up until ungodly hours, forgets to eat and drink enough frequently and basically lives in his chair on his desk, working his ass off and chewing his fingers bloody

Nikolai changes his part time jobs often. He already worked at a café, at a McDonald's, etc.

Fyodor doesn't go to work. He scams people on the internet and earns way more money than a normal student would have.

Sometimes he has to go to work tho so people won't get suspicious of him.

At the moment he is working at the local instrument-/music store and hates it bc of the costumers

Fitzgerald is an american professor who doesn't really teach anything and can't memorize the names of the japanese students for shit

After managing to get out of a really deep and horrible depression hole, Dazai decided to go to work in order to make the next step into getting his life together again. Now he works at the local coffee shop where Lucy works too and he rather enjoys it

Mushitaro is Ranpo's and Poe's constantly stressed roommate

Dazai, Chuuya, Yosano, Akutagawa, Gin, Higuchi, Koyo and Tachihara all went to the same high school which was lead by Mr. Mori Ougai before finally getting to this university

Dazai and Yosano both got horribly abused by Mori during thier time there. Chuuya was the one who called the police one day after finding out about the abuse, crashing the door to his office to stop him from abusing Dazai any further

Sigma and Mushitaro both bond over the fact that they both have a panic/anxiety disorder and OCD

Nikolai, Fyodor, Shibusawa and Sigma secretly keep three pet rats in thier dorm even though it's forbidden to keep pets in the dorms.

Elise, Yumeno, Kyouka, Aya and Karma go to the elementary school close to the university.

Elise and Yumeno frequently visit Dazai and Chuuya, Karma frequently visits Fyodor and his boyfriends and Aya frequently visits Bram. The older students have basically adopted the kids.

Sigma dreams of becoming a casino manager in his own casino one day and works really hard to archive this dream

He secretly works part time at a casino in the city. He gets along well with the manager so he is allowed to help out a little bit

Shibusawa once asked how "our casino manager" is doing after Sigma came home after his shift and Sigma nearly cried because of how happy this made him feel

Sigma hates Dazai after he danced with him against his will purely to annyoy him and kinda embarrassed him in front of others after he came newly to the college

Sigma now always threatens Dazai to hit him with whatever is laying or standing close to him if he says stupid stuff to tease him and ignores him most of the time

Fyodor and Dazai both suffer from frequent nightmares and night terrors so when they don't want to wake thier partners up for whatever reason, they often unintentionally meet each other in the 24h Café at night where they either sit quietly together and drink thier coffee, tea or hot chocolate or they just tiredly talk about how's it going, talk about chess and philosophy and gush a bit about thier boyfriends

Ivan hates Nikolai, Shibusawa and Sigma out of pure jealousy because they are together with Fyodor and Nikolai and Shibusawa hate him too

Sigma who came to the university a year after Shibusawa, Nikolai, Fyodor and Ivan didn't experience the whole drama with Ivan because of Fyodor so he was a bit confused at first about why this man hated him so much

Now he just makes him a bit uncomfy

Fyodor is just rather annyoyed but at least he has someone who he can send to buy groceries if they all can't go

Kunikida says that he hates Dazai but in truth he cares deeply about his somewhat friend and he is the only one besides Chuuya, Ango and Oda who had seen Dazai breaking down and being at his lowest

He is also the only one besides the redhead and Oda who is allowed to change his bandages if Dazai geniuly can't drag himself out of bed to do it himself

Kunikida is one of the best students (Dazai, Ranpo and Fyodor are the only ones who always have better scores and it drives him mad since they seem to do nothing to get these scores) and he is allowed to help out Fukusawa and other teachers

Students can often witness how Oda has to wrestle Ango out of his office in the late evening so he has a change of convincing Ango to get a at least a few hours of sleep

Poe works part time in the library of the university and knows the most students due to it. He doesn't really talks with them a lot because of his social anxiety but he observes them often or has to give them recommendations so he knows a bit about what they like and how they spend thier time.

Ranpo, Louisa, Lucy and Yosano visit him in the library often

He actually met Mushitaro and Ranpo through this job at the library

Dazai and Chuuya never appear in a lecture and still have (almost always in Chuuya's case) perfect grades

Fyodor does appear in the lectures but he always reads and isn't paying any attention

Ranpo just eats a whole bunch of snacks during lectures and corrects the professors every single time

Chuuya gets a dozen calls from his overprotective brother Verlaine who wants to know how he's doing and if everything is alright weekly

---------------------------------------------------

BSD college!AU headcanons pt.2

[jeevaschrist]

Hi! If your requests are open, could I please have a bsd matchup with a male character?

My name’s Rachel, I’m 18 and my pronouns are she/her. I’m 5’7, have brown hair that comes a few inches below my shoulders, brown eyes and freckles from cheek to cheek. I’m a really optimistic person, and I try to help others as much as I can. I’m good at giving advice, and making people feel better. I’m very charismatic and very outgoing! I love trying out new activities, But, I can get impatient easily and I tend to be stubborn. I really enjoy fashion design. I love sewing and coming up with a new ideas of something I can make! I’m also really passionate about music. I’ve played piano for 11 years, and it really helps me to express myself.Some of my other hobbies include baking, and shopping. My personal style is a kind of mix between softie and angelcore. I have a huge sweet tooth, so I love desserts! I also like jewelry and flowers. I hate bugs.

I hope that’s alright, thank you so much!!

hi hi! 1. i may or may not have checked our ur blog and AAAAAAAA it's so pretty wtf???? and you do TW?! you 100% have to message me so we can be friends omg

-also ok getting to what you actually asked for now lol sorry

i knooooooow this is going to be very basic and ur probably going to hate me but hear me out pls

i truly do ship u with atsushi. and i can tell that you've gotten this probably a bunch of times bc it's the one my brain automatically went to so before you yell at me (not that u will)- hear me out!

you can get stubborn and impatient. atsushi doesn't always outwardly show it but he is too. so in that sense you'll compliment each other. i feel like with the piano, atsushi would find not only another truth and depth behind you but also something in himself since music has a way of showing people things they didn't even know about themselves. i think that would be a really cool bonding experience for you guys and he'd probably at some point want to try to learn. for the sewing hobby tbh i'd love to see u use atsu as a human mannequin :D

he'd happily eat deserts with you and i'm assuming ranpo would sniff out what you two are doing and join in as well. atsushi would be one of those boys who would offer to hold the bags for you while you shop so that you have two hands available to shop and browse items. i think he'd love your style also and he'd probably find it refreshing and astonishing all at the same time bc he seems like someone who would really take the time to admire the things about his partner that one wouldn't think he'd see.

i hope this was okay for u! ^^

[idv-artists-trio]

knock knock! A gift from Jane group and Lucy group!

Wow...that's alot of gift for Rosalyn

Jane: just simple banquet of red roses

Amar: ah! It seems to be...snake ring? But in platonic way

Elise: Plushie of Rosalyn! But... When did Elise knew how to sew?

BD: She doesn't know what to get so...just have cake design of Rosalyn

Kenji: He is sweetheart, he just give flower crown of Rosalyn favorite flowers!

Lucy; Jane force her but just give flowers like Jane does

Tecchou: like BD he is confused what to get for Rosalyn due he is soldier and he doesn't celebrate that birthdays that much but... He just give strawberry cake that has.... Sauc (don't eat it...)

Ranpo: doesn't know what to get for Rosalyn but just give her buch of his snacks and sweets

Poe: just give poetry which is adorable!

And one letter that said:

"Hapoy birthday,we may not know you but we just wanted to celebrate your birthday!"

(And also I just open tumblr and it is Rosalyn birthday if I spell her name right but happy birthday to Rosalyn!)

Rosalyn// {* Oh... Thank you, guys. I hope you haven't gotten into complications to give me gifts...*} ówò

// They honestly really don't have to give gifts to her since they don't really know her fbfbfbfb.. even though they didn't know what she exactly likes and had to guess unfortunately, it is very sweet of them by the thought. And yes, Jane, that's how her name spells fnnfnfnfn

// Rosie loves the red roses!

// she finds the snake ring quite unique but still puts it into her collection of rings that are saved in a middle-sized kit.

// She didn't say much about Elise sewing and pats her in gratitude, her hospital children and Peter also know how to sew dolls. Thanks to the adult herself. :3

// Oh... Cake. That's definitely going to be a lot to eat for the feast.. Well, she still sweetly says thank you to BD. She may be intimidated by hunters, but she has to show her sincere respect.

// Awww a flower crown. She's fascinated by its lovely arrangement. nwn

// Rosie gives a gentle smile to Lucy. Really, everyone doesn't have to give her gifts, so she felt a bit bad for those who got forced,,,/ih

// As she smiles and politely thanks the soldier, she already notices the strange thing about the cake by the smell,,,- how? She's not even normal lol she'll have to let Kitty send it to Romero who's at hunter faction on her behalf~

// Sweets and snacks,,, how sweet. *Badummsss*

// She loves poetry,,,, so she smiles very happily by the sight of good writing to read!!!

// About the letter//{* I don't know them either,,, but i do heard about them by Laurence... At least they were nice and thoughtful ówò 🌸*}

[frigz-selfshipping]

main f/o (??) post

some notes: i have many many f/o's. some won't be listed here to keep this from having 80 characters. characters listed here the ones that'll i talk about the most, but others will appear as well. just not as often. a lot of characters will be added with more media i consume (this is a cry for help, i cant keep falling in love)

💗 - main main f/o (???)

romantic f/o's - 💗 ei - genshin impact (wife)(tag: lightning love ~) 💗 scaramouche - genshin impact (husband) (tag: wanderer's heart ~) 💗 venti - genshin impact (husband) (tag: loving note ~) xiao - genshin impact (husband) (tag: an adepti's lover ~) cyno - genshin impact (husband) (tag: an unhelpful study group ~) heizou - genshin impact (boyfriend) (tag: yet another flirtatious detective ~) 💗 lieserl albert einstein - honkai impact (wife) (tag: the science of my dear ~) 💗 sakukallen (sakura x kallen) - honkai impact (wives, poly relationship) (tag: a blooming cross ~) mobius -honkai impact (wife) (tag: my dear mobi ~) 💗 luke pearce - tears of themis (husband) (tag: mystery to my heart ~) 💗 jouno saigiku - bungou stray dogs (husband) (tag: another side to you ~) ranpo edogawa - bungou stray dogs (boyfriend) (tag: at least one of us knows how a train works ~) emily dyer - identity v (wife) (tag: i need a doctor oh ~) michiko - identity v (girlfriend) (tag: loving waltz ~) edgar valden - identity v (boyfriend) (tag: the painter's greatest portrait ~) yhidra - identity v (godly wife) (tag: a snake god's favorite ~) arashi narukami - ensemble stars (significant other) (tag: jewel stone ~) hiyori/jun - ensemble stars (dating, poly relationship) (tag: trap for you ~) noé/vanitas/jeanne/domi - vanitas no carte (dating, pentacule...?) (tag: bloody love ~)

??? f/o's - kaoru hakaze - ensemble stars (unlabeled relationship, romantic...?) (tag: drifting feather ~) mayoi ayase - ensemble stars (???????) (tag: secret passage to my heart ~) ritsu sakuma - ensemble stars (unlabeled relationship, romantic...?) (tag: sleepy cuddles ~)

platonic f/o's - marius von hagen - tears of themis (friend) (tag: a sparkling jewel... and the person standing behind it) vyn richter - tears of themis (queerplatonic relationship) (tag: a rose and its thorns ~) atsushi nakajima - bungou stray dogs (good ol pal) (tag: two cats) tecchou suehiro - bungou stray dogs (friend) (tag: training partners) teruko okura - bungou stray dogs (friend that bullies me) (tag: smallest teasing) michizou tachihara (friend) (tag: double-agent, double friend) 💗 helena adams - identity v (queerplatonic relationship) (tag: a rare partner within this manor ~) joker - identity v (friend) (tag: redone makeup) madara mikejime (queerplatonic relationship) (tag: mama to the rescue !!)

familial f/o's - 💗 zhongli - genshin impact (father figure) (tag: godly father...?) diona - genshin impact (adopted child) (tag: destroy the wine industry!) diluc - genshin impact (older brother figure) (tag: grape juice lovers) 💗 artem wing - tears of themis (father figure) (tag: greatest attorney and the random detective he adopted (legally) ) kouyou ozaki - bungou stray dogs (mother figure) (tag: tough love and a soft hug) 💗 yumeno kyuusaku - bungou stray dogs (adopted child) (tag: making dolls and sewing up the heart) kyouka izumi - bungou stray dogs (adopted sister) (tag: binking bunnies) rei sakuma - ensemble stars (older brother figure) idk his tag yet

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi! could i get a howl's moving castle, bungou stray dogs and stranger things matchup please?

general info

lu, nonbinary, pansexual

looks

tall (6'2), androgynous, short black curly hair, black eyes, extremely pale skin, dressing in goth lolita and ouji style

personality

intj, mix of a kuudere and himedere, brutally honest, introverted, calm, quiet, reserved, sophisticated, polite, snarky, witty, sarcastic, blunt, apathetic, intimidating, mysterious, morbid, unfazed

hobbies

science, learning new things, knitting, gardening, cooking, baking, playing chess, taking long solitary walks to secluded places, reading, writing, drawing, sculpting, taxidermy, making clothes and jewelry

likes

plants, animals, insects and bugs, philosophy, thanatology, criminology, anthropology, psychology, mythology

history, forensics, horror media, serial killers, witchcraft, classical, goth and vkei music, classical and gothic literature, dancing, art, poetry, fashion

dislikes: people in general (i tolerate only few chosen ones), noises, mess, unannounced guests

love language

quality time and acts of service

random stuff

i have morbid sense of humor

i'm ballet dancer and figure skater

i sew most of my clothes myself

i like to sing when i'm in the mood

i can play on violin, church organ, cello, piano, guitar, and harp

people hate watching movies/cartoons with me because i'm overanalyzing everything

i like making jewelry

thanks for your time

Hi Lu! Thank you for your request! Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Howl's Moving Castle, I match you with...

Howl appreciates your honesty even though he may not act like it sometimes. He values your opinion and knows you’re always speaking the truth when you offer your thoughts.

Loves cooking with you. He likes the peaceful atmosphere and the tasty meals and snacks that you get to share at the end are an added bonus.

He’s a naturally messy person but he’ll do his best to clean up since he knows you don’t like mess. No promises though; it’s a hard habit for him to break.

You may have to force him to help you tidy up once or twice a week. But he doesn’t mind; he actually likes being able to spend those moments with you.

Please make jewellery for him! Especially matching pieces that you can wear together. He loves those sort of things and will wear whatever you make him all the time. It’s his way of staying close to you even when he’s far away.

In Bungo Stray Dogs, I match you with...

Poe enjoys your company more than he can ever express. He loves that you’re both quiet people with hidden sarcasm and morbid fascination.

You can avoid interacting with people together. If Poe has anything to say about it, you and Ranpo will be the only people he interacts with from now on.

Please read his writing. Poe loves hearing your feedback on his latest novel and will incorporate your suggestions into his next draft.

He would also be more than willing to read your writing as well and give you feedback. Mind you, his feedback is usually nothing but praise. He just really likes your writing (and you). But if you ask him to give you constructive criticism, he’ll try his best.

Will take long walks with you. Poe especially likes walks in nature where you can enjoy each other's company without distractions.

In Stranger Things, I match you with...

Robin loves your sarcastic side so much. She especially loves it when you open up enough around her to reveal that side.

She seems like someone who would enjoy pearling about witchcraft and things like tarot. Please teach her, she's a good student.

Definitely one to sing and dance with you. Maybe not when there are a lot of people around (she does have a "cool" reputation to uphold) but in a more private situation, she'll let herself have fun.

True crime enthusiast! Robin would definitely listen to podcasts if they were as prolific in the 80s as they are now.

She likes talking to you. Doesn't matter what it's about, she just likes hearing your voice and having a conversation with you.

[nsfw-penmanship]

About Matsu Ito

GENERAL INFORMATION -

Full Name - Matsu Ito Age - 18 Gender - Trans Male  Pronouns - He/they Sexuality - Gay

PERSONALITY -

They're normally pretty nice, they tend to latch onto one person for a while, staying by that person's side. He speaks up for stuff he believes in, very honest (Sometimes to a fault). They're kinda lazy, often sleepy and tired.

Likes -  Reading, mint tea, warm blankets and calm people. Dislikes -  Having his tail stepped on, bugs, loud people and coffee.

Skills -  Good hearing, sense of smell and okay eyesight. He's good at caring for wounds n' that shit. Hobbies - Napping, reading, and sewing

EXTRAS -

Voice Claims - Ranpo Edogawa Bungo Stray Dogs English dub Face Claims - 

(Done on Picrew, Picrew by juguito.de.cereza on Instagram)

[elvearryn]

Fyolai headcanons because I'm trash

1. Fyodor is usually cold and blunt, but around Nikolai he becomes passionate, in more ways than one, he talks more freely about things he enjoys, he laughs more (chuckles mischievously), and he's more willing to be himself in a way

2. Nikolai struggles to braid his hair, which leads him to pestering Fyodor to do it for him, which means rat man usually sees the clown without a shirt, early in the morning, late at night, etc

3. Fyodor is an anemic rat, and Nikolai takes advantage of this, whenever Fyodor stands up to fast and starts wobbling, Nikolai is immediately there to catch him

4. Nikolai often laughs so hard he cries, and Fyodor wipes his tears away while gently holding his face

5. Nikolai follows him around sometimes, giving advice and trying to scare Fyodor

6. They read together, you cannot convince me otherwise, these two write things together or write things for each other, much like Poe and Ranpo, Nikolai will write soliloquys and poems about how Fyodor makes him feel, whether it be good or bad, and Fyodor reads old literature to him

7. Nikolai makes Fyodor food on a regular basis, usually cake and sweets, because Fyodor surprisingly isn't very fond of heavy/bitter food, and occasionally this food will be poisoned or include some kind of prank, because y'know, it's Nikolai

8. Nikolai likes to sew (flashbacks to when he sewed that guys skin back on inside out) and he has definitely sewed himself plushies of Fyodor, and they are either adorable or horrifying, he loves them all. He stabs them occasionally, but he always makes more. He also once sewed Fyodor a Nikolai plushie, and Fyodor refuses to admit it, but he keeps it safe and out of harms way, sometimes he'll pretend to play chess with it, or talk to it, Nikolai cuddles with these plushies almost every night, and has at least 7 tucked away in his cloak for when he's away and wants something to do or something to comfort him

9. Fyodor told a joke once, and Nikolai was thoroughly devoted to him ever since, he adores the anemic rat, through all of his flaws and strange tendencies

10. (Bonus) Sigma takes pictures of them at various times, he knows this can be dangerous and potential blackmail if they ever got out, but he finds it sweet that the two have each other (really Sigma is struggling with his "humanity" and he cherishes the moments Fyodor and Nikolai spend together because it makes him feel like he belongs with this strange family of two (borderline insane) husbands and their strange book spawned kid) He got one framed once, of Nikolai poking Fyodor on the nose, and both Fyodor and Nikolai keep a copy with them

@saintsprotecttheghoul and @thebgcharacter here you guys go 🏃 (I'll be reblogging this later because almost everyone is inactive djdbdjh)

[transsexualhamlet]

Dead Apple Is A Hot Mess: The Analysis

Essays:

-Dead Apple Only Really Makes Sense If You Assume It's Just Dazai, Shibusawa, and Fyodor's Elaborate Honeymoon

-Half All Other Inconsistencies Can Be Explained By Dazai Making Up Excuses To Shove Chuuya At His Crotch

-I Think Fyodor's Ability Is Actually 10 Times Weirder Than We Thought

-Ranpo Solved The Backrooms While This Shit Was Going On

Plus, everything else batshit crazy stupid about dead apple (affectionate)

Subtitle subtitle: me overanalyzing the movie equivalent of "girls just wanna have fun" played over a slasher film

this is all word vomit at this point

Prefacing this with holy shit of course I mean this all jokingly, obviously this is not what the writers meant, but they certainly left enough plot holes that my stupid idea actually fills them pretty consistently, so I'm taking it and fucking running.

I've been wanting to make a post like "how little sense dead apple makes as a cohesive story and how genuinely every time I think about it I'm just more confused" for a while, but since I finally finished reading the light novel, now I can say with certainty that yeah no, I'm not just stupid, it just literally does not make any logical sense unless you conclude that these flamboyant war criminals were all just in love with each other and their entire three-way backstabbing apocalypse deal was all a predetermined game that they planned out for their honeymoon or something. Yes, I am really saying that I think they just dressed up and played pretend as terrorists and decided that half the gifted population of Yokohama was a sacrifice they were willing to make.

Even then, it really doesn't account for half of the bullshit in the movie, but taking it that way honest to god explains about 80% of the inconsistencies, as ridiculous as it sounds.

@akutagawasslur and I have been talking about it and came up with a few sort of outlandish theories that try to actually make sense of the plot, but again, most of this is just gonna be me pointing out plot holes and continuity errors and narrative stupidity that I have no way of understanding, and that even assuming a ton of things, it still feels like this meme

Let me preface this with the fact that I love dead apple, it's an amazing movie and very pretty and I'm so glad it exists and it gave us 1. soukoku sex scene /j, 2. dazai with fancy hair, and 3. shibusawa our transfem icon /hj. But also, it just objectively sucks ass. I'm sure people have talked about this before, I just. Also have thoughts on the subject of how insanely poorly thought out the entire concept was.

(Giant fucking essay under the cut I feel like one of those youtubers who criticizes anime for fun but when I call everything gay it's a compliment)

_____________________________________________________

OK FIRST, DEAD APPLE TRIO GAY,

Before I even get into the plot of the movie, I'd like to for a minute direct you to the fact that there's no way any of these men are straight to begin with, no matter what they have to do with each other.

It's something really funny about anime in general, the way that they inadvertently make all the men fruity af for interesting character designs because straight guys are just so incredibly bland looking. It might seem normal when looking at an anime dude, but if you saw a dude irl wearing long braided hair, long, manicured nails, eyeliner, Arm Warmers, clothes he sewed himself, jewelry, and a Cape, there is no doubt in ANYONE'S mind that that's not a cishet man.

Dead Apple is just in general a very confusing movie. The light novel doesn't really help that much either, even if you've already watched it several times. I've heard that the stage play has just, a different plot altogether, but we're not even getting into that. And if someone has to put in that much effort to understand the plot of an anime movie, I don't think that's a good sign. The light novel definitely does go more into the plot, but that's kind of weird, since it's an adaption of the movie and not the other way around? They're kind of inconsistent, and they also have different translations. Honestly, after reading it, I have more questions than answers.

First off, I want to point out how entirely vague Dazai, Fyodor, and Shibusawa's motives all were in this movie. Even though the movie does eventually state what in general all of their motives supposedly are, the explanations given not only Do Not Explain their actions in ANY WAY, but also come off themselves as blatant misinformation.

I feel like the writers tried so hard to have their mind games seem death note level complex that they just ended up creating massive fucking plot holes that bring all of their motives into question.

To begin with, we have Dazai. After spending an ungodly amount of time on it, I think I kind of understand what the writers intended for him to come off as. It's a little hard because they wait to reveal that Dazai didn't actually just wholeheartedly want everyone to die for a little bit too fucking long, in my opinion, and even when they did it... it didn't work, it just took away an understandable though awful motive and failed to repace it with anything good.

So you have Dazai at the start of the movie clearly having a Moment Moment on a grave going hey bestie gonna go try out a new method of fucking killing myself, and atsushi's like, ok, be back for dinner. Dazai then reveals that he thinks Everyone Should Commit Suicide Actually and it's pretty in character to be perfectly honest. Yeah sure, of course he does. Seems like his brand of mental illness. Ango is like Dazai this is a bit much even for you you Literally Invited Terrorists To Have A Good Time but dazai's like Bestie Im Just Having A Bad Day and meets up with his matching gay villains like this was planned all along, which undoubtedly it was.

Yeah, seems like a pretty understandable motive. Depressed man convinced into thinking Apocalypse Sexy by two homosexuals. I can forgive that.

But then like three quarters through the movie, after they've had a whole ass arc about how much they're depressed and want everyone to die including themselves but they have to lounge around being emo first, Dazai is suddenly like No Actually I Was Faking It Definitely To Save Yokohama Of Course Because That's Me, Mr. Morals. And as much as I'm glad Dazai did in fact give a miniscule shit about Chuuya and Atsushi and like the entire city, I... honestly don't believe it. Not just because I wouldn't trust Dazai as far as I could throw him, but because the way they try to clear his name just isn't comprehensive enough, and I have to say it would not hold up in a court of law. (I'm amazed that it took as long as it did for Dazai to get thrown in fucking prison as it did, lol)

So sure, the movie then tells us that he invited them into the city because, I guess, they were going to do it anyway? That doesn't even make any sense. If Shibusawa was already targeting Yokohama, Dazai wouldn't need to fucking invite him. We never got any clarification on what Dazai actually did to get Shibusawa's trust in the slightest. How did he help with the plan? How was he cooperating with Shibusawa? What did he say or do that made the guy trust him? No clarification on that at all.

So that is left as a mystery, and now onto the other side- what did Dazai actually do to HELP the city? How was anything he did helping save them? Of course, he was working with Fyodor and he was going to nullify the fog with his skill, right? Fucking wrong, actually- Dazai knew the whole goddamn time that wasn't going to work. He knew he was going to be betrayed and stabbed, he could pinpoint it so well that he knew what poison that Shibusawa would use, and he knew that what Fyodor was telling him about the room and the skill was a lie. He was fully aware that being in that tower with those two would not help anyone. So then why was he there to begin with?

So Dazai gets stabbed, fucking dies, and is somehow beamed up into a fucking dragon because of Fyodor killing Shibusawa and like, resurrecting him again with his own ability. This part still doesn't even make sense to me in the slightest, and the fact that Whatever They Did Here also applied to Verlaine and Rimbaud in the Lore doesn't actually clarify much.

The only reason that this works is the fact that Dazai is genuinely dead. Not passed out, not in the process of dying- no, he's straight up passed away. His ability yeeted. It doesn't work during that time Because he's Dead, or well, that's what the light novel said anyway.

Then Chuuya punches the dragon and somehow gets to Dazai and punches him...... and then... dazai fucking.... comes back to life...... because he had a pill in his mouth......... and then boom his ability comes back on and saves Chuuya. Correct me if I'm wrong, but how the fuck did that help anyone in the slightest, not to even get into the absurdity of the plat yet? Chuuya wouldnt have even needed to use corruption if Dazai hadn't gotten himself turned into a goddamn dragon.

I don't believe the fog even went away at all until Atsushi smashed in Shibusawa's skull, so Dazai's ability wasn't getting rid of the fog in the slightest, even after the whole Dragon Event. And Dazai being there didn't change the outcome of Atsushi's battle, since Shibusawa got where he was with Atsushi entirely because of what Fyodor himself wanted. That same outcome would have happened whether Dazai was there or not.

Even if there was something Dazai did to help that I somehow managed to miss, gee fucking whiz, Dazai, you sure did take your sweet fucking time getting to it. Remember all those crystals that appeared in Shibusawa's collection during this shit??? You know??? The people that fucking died in the fog???? Because you let them in?? He wasn't being particularly helpful, if anything, what he did only got Fyodor farther along in his plans and Shibusawa exactly what he wanted.

The writers attempt to present Dazai as having in the end chosen the good side, but in all fucking honesty, what they came across showing us through his actions is that he let hundreds of ability users die because he wanted to have a fun time. Bitch was not trying to save the city. He didn't care if it was saved at all, he left that completely up to three teenagers who had about a 20% chance of surviving and all fucking hated each other. And why, because he realized that Shibusawa would eventually target Yokohama? God, maybe he could have fucking called Ango or something and gotten the actual qualified government on it, or even got the whole detective agency to fight Shibusawa before he came. Surely that would have fucking worked fine, or at least had fewer casualties. If all they needed to do was have Atsushi beat the shit out of him and Dazai was fully aware of this, I don't think he really has an argument as to saying he was doing this for good.

He never even tries to say it was to save anyone. Atsushi just, decides that's what he was doing. Dazai even tells him he's wrong.

(In my opinion, I do think he cared about the city, I do think he wants to fulfill Oda's wish, but from what I've seen, he's just... not really trying as hard as he could be. I think he was playing both sides on this one, you know? If Atsushi makes it through, then boom, well, city saved, let's move on. If Shibusawa succeeds, well then everyone dies, whatever, you know, he's hot. This can't really be proven by anything, I just think it's what makes the most sense considering the plot)

So then the question is, what the hell WAS he doing? What were ANY of them doing, if they all predicted perfectly what the outcome was going to be from the beginning?

The only answer I can give is that they're fucking depressed homosexuals and they wanted to have a little morbid fun. Genuinely, if someone can give me a better reason for what is canonically being depicted in this movie I'd LOVE to hear it.

To show you why I feel that interpreting these three as queer, polyamorous, and currently having crazy gay sex, I'd just like to point out a few things.

First of all, when you think about it, the entire stunt these gayasses pulled must have taken an absurd amount of unnecessary preparations and planning. Just to begin with, neither Shibusawa nor Fyodor live in Yokohama, but the second they're there, they already have the fanciest, most emo, obviously Supervillain Hideout piece of real estate in Yokohama. It's not like that place was just sitting around with no one owning it, one of them had to BUY THE PLACE from whoever like. Owned this goth mansion.

I mean, we don't even have time to get into what the hell this building was doing in Yokohama to begin with, because it's like.... in the 15 arc. it's just. A building that exists right at the edge of the Arahabaki crater town. That's GOTTA be plot relevant, but somehow it just. Isn't. It irritates me to no end.

And then before they moved in, someone had to move an entire, crystal collection in there (I've heard that it's actually part of Shibusawa's ability like Anne's room but I'm not sure how true that is so I'm leaving that as a question i guess)

Not only did they probably have to ship 2000 crystals into this place but Shibusawa also BOUGHT THREE CUSTOM MATCHING FANCY CHAIRS and SET A TABLE WITH FRUIT AND HIS FUCKING SKULL and LITERALLY TAILORED MATCHING WHITE OUTFITS for these motherfuckers TO WEAR LITERALLY ONCE. LIKE. HE KNEW HE WAS GOING TO S T A B DAZAI HE DIDNT PLAN ON REUSING THE DUDE'S COAT AND YET HE FUCKING SEWED IT HIMSELF.

I'm just. I'm SORRY, this is NOT something you do with your Work Associates. Just. Objectively. This is Not a coworkers relationship we've got going on here, and neither is this something that straight men do.

And even without the embellishments that can be excused as animators wanting to be Aesthetic and Extra without realizing that any higher thinking would deem these bitches as Fruits, the three of them didn't really have any excuses to be together in that tower in the first place, none that they could voice out loud, at least, if they weren't like, fucking.

There seemed to be no plot relevant reason for them to have a tower to stay in. If Draconia was a manifestation of Shibusawa's ability, they didn't have to purchase a building to store it in. And if Dazai and Fyodor didn't need to stay up there to stay away from the effects of the fog (another major thing I'll get to) why did they even meet up to begin with? God, I know you movie makers only have so much you can fit in, but this is pretty basic stuff.

Neither Fyodor or Dazai needed to be around Shibusawa at all for the plan they had pretended to agree on to work.

Fyodor had been aligned with Shibusawa because he was giving the dude inside information on the city. That really,,, has no relevancy to the actual event, even if Fyodor helped him get into the city or something, which wasn't really touched upon. He certainly didn't have any official excuse to hang around other than to watch.

And what did Dazai even do at all? What did he do to get into the cool kids club?? All Dazai did was propose the idea, according to canon... just. Contacted the dude and said hey bro wanna Destroy My City For Funsies? Sounds good, I'm not suspicious at all. Anyway mind if I hang out in your house while you do it? Cool? No reason, I just wanted to watch.

Because Fyodor and Dazai both Somehow are randomly immune to the fog, it's not like they needed protection of any sort. They're just...... there.

Like, that just doesn't hold up. What were they there to do other than have gay sex??? Of course, all three of them have ulterior motives that make it necessary for them to be in the same place, as well as separate different alliances within the alliance that are also lies.

Fyodor agreed to help Dazai touchie the crystals in order to stop the fog, but they both knew it was a lie.

Shibusawa agreed with Fyodor to kill Dazai because they knew he wanted to betray them, but at least Fyodor knew that was a lie.

Dazai on his own really didn't have any clear motive, as I can tell. He seemed to have known touching the crystals wouldn't fix shit, and he seemed to have known Atsushi was the only real determining factor in the outcome, so I'm not sure what he was trying to achieve there other than having a grand old time.

And Fyodor..... well, he says he wanted to kill both Dazai and Shibusawa so he could take the fog to spread out and go across the entire earth, but. No he didn't.

Legitimately. No he did not. He was in Yokohama to look for the book, yet he plays this whole "I'm going to kill everyone right now with my Secret Evil Plan" card and is so incredibly unsurprised when that doesn't end up happening that it doesn't even feel like he meant it to begin with. He tells us this grand plan over the span of TEN YEARS where he gets Shibusawa killed and resurrected and amnesia'd and killed again and then resurrected and killed again. But even though he's spent that much of his life invested in this, when it doesn't work out, literally, he doesn't care???? He fucks off and laughs the second his entire plan falls apart, and this isn't how he we've seen him act when he's been actually bested by Dazai. (yknow, he was clearly very amused when it happened in the third season, like he probably got off on it, but he was still incredibly inconvenienced by the fact. Yknow.)

He also... was in the tower when it fucking. Exploded. And then showed up utterly unscathed in season three. Like. Sure, ok, horror movie physics. He just comes back. But genuinely he must have known beforehand a general idea of what was going to happen even though he apparently "hadn't considered that"? Because otherwise he would like. Not be alive sorry Fyodor getting crushed by a giant building kind of isn't survivable.

Bestie really spend ten years investing in a night of fun.

So genuinely, I don't think it makes sense at all unless the three of them had to some degree agreed on all this beforehand. Because if they were genuinely trying to fight against each other, and they each all had their own comprehensive spiderweb of plans and lies, and they're all really that smart, what would they say to each other when they were all together that any of them would believe? Even if they all knew the others were lying to them and they had to go along to get what they wanted, that wouldn't fix the problem, because what are they lying to say? What would their front be when they have no plot relevant reason to lounge around in a tower together listening to classical music and getting drunk?

If you just accept that they were there to paint each others nails and have crazy gay sex, that pretty much clears that all up. I mean. Why do they need a tower? Gay sex tower. Why do they need to be together? They're gay. Why does Dazai say "i knew your Special Knife would deal me a Nasty Blow" while moaning? I hate the gays. /j (they took that out of the novel and it makes me laugh like. they knew how awful that sounded)

The thing is though, because like I said earlier with how it all ended up playing out, it seemed almost scripted between the three of them. (haha, this is a movie.) But even if you assume these three are in a queer polyamorous relationship as a FRONT, because they're just That Extra, that doesn't really work either.

The way Dazai reacted to their betrayal, the way Fyodor reacted to Dazai's backup plan, the way Shibusawa reacted to Fyodor's plan- none of them seemed unhappy with it, none of them seemed surprised at the fact they were being betrayed, just the specific way in which it happened.

So that's really the only reasonable explanation of what they were doing dhfgdfhgfjfdl. All of them had to have gotten together at least months beforehand and set this up, the way it went. In the end, Fyodor and Dazai just wanted to give Shibusawa a good time before he got to be too much of a problem for their own motives. (dazai's being, existing in yokohama and finding a good way to either die or live, and fyodor's being to find a book in yokohama to murder everyone in his Own Way(??)) Shibusawa genuinely did want to destroy the city tbh I don't think anyone's doubting that, and to some extent, Dazai wanted to see the city Not Destroyed, but Fyodor's utter lack of actual motive here kind of breaks a scenario where they all went into it for that reason.

The only normal reason why I'd believe Fyodor inserted himself into this plan was because he'd have a chance to kill Dazai. Seriously, I still can't see what was wrong with going along with Shibusawa... isn't "i can help all ability users Fucking Die" literally just what Fyodor wants? He can still get the book afterwards too, assumedly once all the competition is gone it would be significantly easier.

The only reason I can give is that it was a fake piece of entertainment for their amusement.

Again at this point it's all just a funny idea, but genuinely, nothing contradicts this, and it certainly would make a lot of things make sense. So get this:

Dazai knows Shibusawa is going to be some level of threat to Yokohama no matter what he does, so he brings together the three of them and goes, hey you know what would be fun? We have a little bet. A little game of among us if you will. So here's the deal. One night, three of us, two knives, one murder. We let you into Yokohama to start up your funny apocalypse thing you wanted to do, and I'll get this cool tower and we'll have a good time. We all get drunk, put on some atmospheric music.... Now here's the catch, MY role is I'm going to try to STOP the fog from killing everyone. Shibusawa, YOU have to try to stop ME from stopping YOU, and FYODOR, you're here because, idk, we like you and you want to kill us, I don't know, surprise us, come up with something insane, and the two of us will have to figure out what YOU'RE doing without spoiling it! We have a few months to all come up with our own plans and try to figure everyone else's out. Let's make this as insane as possible guys. We all have plenty of reasons to benefit from the other being dead, so, Winner gets to homoerotically murder the loser, but we're all suicidal here anyway, so it's really a win win situation no matter how you look at it. Does that sound good? And of course they both say yes and they start making plans and it's like, half a year before this thing happens.

It really means that they had to have all been in on every level of betrayal and decided to go in on it anyway, they had to agree to this stuff and then planned it all in their heads so some of it would be a surprise.

_____________________________________________________

ANYWAY MORE DUMB INCONSISTENCIES THAT I COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO ACTUALLY PUT INTO A COHERENT ORDER

There's a significant amount of other things about this candy colored piece of nonsense though, specifically just, how absolutely batshit stupid the storyline itself is.

Like, Dazai, straight up fucking died. He passed away!! He, unalived, if you will!! He got stabbed by a poison knife and died! His ability stopped working and separated from his body which specifically said in the narrative would only happen if he Actually Died!

But then??????? Chuuya slaps him?????? And there's a pill in his mouth that he's somehow kept there for the whole night???? And he just!! Resurrects from the goddamn dead!

Yeah, I know it's supposed to be like that because blah blah snow white but SNOW WHITE IS THE MOST ILLOGICAL FAIRY TALE EVER and to convert that to anime is just. Wow the anti death pill that heals Stab Wounds, great job. It didn't even actually get swallowed by dazai, when Chuuya punched him! The pill CAME OUT OF HIS MOUTH. It popped ! Outside of his mouth! So he didn't swallow it either!

What the fuck happened then? Chuuya simply slapped him right out of hell. Man climbed back up eeby deeby screaming. I swear to fucking god.

It seemed that the pill which exploded several feet from his mouth also healed his stab wound, considering that the knife fucking disappeared from Dazai's back, along with all the blood.

__________________________________________________

ON THE WORKINGS OF ABILITIES- another batshit theory

Ok, so, the whole workings of the fog regarding different abilities and stuff is also rather inconsistent.

It's stated Chuuya's ability works even in the fog because it's artificial, which makes fine sense if you've read stormbringer, yeah. But ok. If Chuuya doesn't need protection from the fog, then why when Dazai and Chuuya fall to the ground, Dazai is like "oh no you have to stay touching me because the fog isn't gone yet!!" DAZAI HE WAS FINE BEFORE YOU JUST WANT AN EXCUSE TO GO HOLD STILL GIRLIE *SHOVES YOU AGAINST MY CROTCH*

Also, why is atsushi's ability super fucking powerful? We still have not solved this. Still no one goddamn knows. He is an ability but he's also the antithesis of all abilities.... why did this have to be Atsushi, he's literally a fucking tiger? It actually makes no sense. If I was gonna choose someone to be the "antithesis of all abilities" it would be Dazai? I feel like that makes significantly more sense to be dazai here like seriously what's more "antithesis of all abilities" than an ACTUAL ABILITY THAT NULLIFIES ABILITIES? And it would have like. Actually made the movie make sense then. But no??

It's not only that that makes no sense, the whole premise of Shibusawa himself existing and the way the fog works is also, paradoxical in nature. It makes a little sense with stormbringer and the idea of these singularities, but. I'm sorry, if Dazai's ability doesn't work when he's dead, or like, apparently "really really close to dead but also Totally Fine after getting punched" according to 55 minutes logic (like. hi) then Shibusawa's ability can't work after his death either.

How shibusawa's ability works is that it separates someone from their ability, and when the original person dies, the ability becomes a crystal. Not like. A sentient ghost who forgets it died with a skull completely separate from his body. Like. Show me where that makes sense.

Fyodor's ability somehow makes even less sense. Ofc, we don't know a lot about his ability, and that's somewhat of the point. But like, without dead apple Existing, no one would question what Fyodor's ability was. Oh yeah, crime and punishment, he kills people that he judges guilty with a touch of his hand, ok. The specifics are a little hazy, maybe he controls the blood, maybe he controls the soul, maybe both. But you watch this goddamn fucking movie and somehow, his ability is its own singularity as well as Dazai's and Shibusawa's, and that is why they're all immune to the fog?

The question here then is... what is the singularity? What is the paradox of his ability, how are "crime" and "punishment" different yet something that would completely cancel each other out and make the fog not work?

Well. I have an idea. It is. Certainly not to be taken super seriously, but I think it would clear up a bit of what's going on in this shit show.

Personally, I think that Fyodor controls life- that he has the ability to resurrect people as well as kill them. Resurrecting is the "crime", killing is the "punishment". They go hand in hand, they cancel each other out, they tie into Fyodor's whole religious metaphor junk.

Ok, that makes sense right? Shibusawa issue solved, weird semantics with ability singularities and Shibusawa being like. The remnant of an ability just continuing to exist after death for no fucking particular reason solved. Dazai literally dying fr and then coming back to life with the most stupid reasoning ever solved.

Also, per my last essay, they're gay. So that's why he'd ressurect them over and over again.

Again, this is a very non-serious answer, however it does make a lot of sense somehow.

__________________________________________________

The Aftermath TM (or lack thereof)

One of the funniest things about this movie is how nonsensical the whole premise of its existence within the bsd canonical universe is. They shoved it in the middle of season 2 and 3, but it was released after season three, so things got weird.

First of all, since season three was written first, obviously Fyodor's real introduction comes in season three. This is all fine and dandy out of universe (except if you watch it in chronological order and then you're just like? They're introducing this russian dude in dead apple as if I know who he is already? When this is... clearly his first appearance in Yokohama.) But in universe, after the events of dead apple, these people would know who Fyodor was already.

So, Dazai never informed anyone of Fyodor's existence or involvement in dead apple. Ok. Of course he wouldn't. They want to keep their relationship private. Alright.

Even though it happens canonically and chronologically before season three, it's only ever mentioned in season 3 literally twice (introducing fyodor as "that guy from the shibusawa incident" and just. literally. Dazai eating an apple when he sees Fyodor in the alley. Which is so subtext-ey as to barely even count.) But other than that it seems to be an event that like... just... no one talks about. At all. We don't know the aftermath of this event and it makes no sense how thing could have gone back to normal after this.

So yeah, that means he didn't open up and explain what happened. No one seemed to question Dazai's motives at all.

Ango knew Dazai was working with Shibusawa and presumably got kind of fucked up by them, yet. We get nothing about that. He never denied working with them, and yet, he just goes back to the ADA and no one fucking wonders whY THE SHIT HE DID THAT? They're literally like oh wow. Well that happened. I don't know what Dazai did and he doesn't care to tell us. Anyway haha don't do it again and you're fine lol

Second of all... literally 90% of the city FUCKING POPPED OUT OF EXISTENCE FOR A DAY. That is not a thing that can go unnoticed.

Imagine you're fucking? Just a normal dude in Yokohama. And you just. Don't exist for a bit. Or maybe you were hanging out in the backrooms and thought it was a dream or something. But imagine you pop back where you were and a whole calendar day has passed. There's crashed cars everywhere, evidence of many battles and lots of destroyed buildings, half of downtown is destroyed, that Weird Ass Tower fell down, there are at least a hundred Fucking Dead Bodies killed by mysterious means just, fucking, hanging out in really ridiculous places... and almost nobody remembers what happened.

This wasn't just a few people who disappeared, this was EVERYBODY. Are they just gonna pop back in their cars? Or the spot where they had disappeared? And just go? This is fine where did all these corpses come from? Half the buildings have been leveled by Dragon Shaped Footprints ah godzilla moment lol

How did they cover this up? How could Ango And The Government possibly fucking manage to contain something this size? Yokohama would look like it had just been through the fucking owari no seraph catastrophe. And yet. Somehow this isnt a problem.

Even the ability users seemed not to really bring this up at all after. Yknow. Ok. They treat it like a fever dream and never mention it again because that's what it was.

I think something that sums this up perfectly is the part at the end where the fourth wall kinda breaks a little and the writers apologize for all of their motives and actions being a hot mess. Tsujimura is like "hey ango lol... What TM" and Ango just turns around like "yeah you wouldn't understand... dazai and fyodor and shibusawa are just... you can't understand them... they're a lot like joker from the movie joker."

essay complete go about your days and contemplate my word vomit 👍

[starglow-xx]

(About the brother!atsushi) aRE YOU READING MY MIND MISS?! Because that has been on my mind for MONTHS. TYSM For writing it was amazing!! If you don't mind, may I request (if requests are open) atsushi, still an older brother, but with a sister that's 10-13 yrs old? It's totally fine if you don't wanna do it. Keep up the good stories, ily mwuah!

*sobs* you’re so kind thank youu 🤧🤧

i wrote this a bit differently i hope that’s okay anon! at first i planned for this to be mainly abt atsushi and the reader, but i decided to add in relationship hcs with the agency bc i ran out of ideas

if you guys liked this don’t worry! im planning a special part two for this one so be the look out for it hehe

atsushi with a tween! sister

ft. the armed detective agency

like in my baby sister hcs, you’re still the most important thing to him period

the two of you got picked up by dazai and kunikida when he was 18 (obviously) and when you were 12

for a 12 year old, you were a bit small bc of malnourishment (which makes atsushi feel so bad) so both dazai and kunikida thought you were a bit younger than you actually were

they assumed you were about 9-10ish

you and atsushi both share a favorite food !! chazuke :)

so when kunikida treated the two of you, he made sure you got more bowls bc like i mentioned above, he feels really bad that you were malnourished and under weight

(don’t bring this up but kunikida felt bad too hehe)

when dazai went with your brother to the warehouse, you were with kunikida

imagine the surprise of the other ada members when kunikida came in with a little girl dressed in rags that popped out from behind him

kenji was the one who vocalized his thoughts 

“kunikida-san you have a daughter?! wow! i didn’t know that! :D”

when you found out your brother was a tiger, you were a bit concerned but you were actually kind of excited

you were even more excited when you found out the two of you were going to be taken in by the agency

anything was better than the stupid orphanage

and besides!

you got a tiger for an older brother and a bunch of other super powered agents to take care of you! who could want anything else?

at your age, you’re very impressionable and can be influenced easily so atsushi makes sure to teach you more in depth of good morals and the importance of kindness

his heart swells with pride and relief when he catches you being kind to others

pride bc he’s proud that even after all the two of you have gone through, you still ended up being a good kid and having a bright view of the world

and relief bc he hasn’t failed as a big brother

pfftt like he could ever fail

but please, from time to time reassure him that he’s perfect and the only big brother that you’d ever want bc he rlly needs that kind of validation

with his salary and savings, he tries to buy nice things for you

what a sweetheart 🥺

he saw you eyeing that one dress at a store window? fast forward abt a week and half and it’s inside a pretty gift bag for you

you wanted to try that dessert from the nice bakery? that’s dessert after dinner at one point

but other than buying you things, he sets money aside for you

like all the time

(y/n), here have this, you might need it”

“but nii-san you just gave me—”

“take it”

#1 spoiler

also your #1 confidant and source of physical affection

you tell him anything and everything (except crushies and those kinds of things)

atsushi loves it when you talk abt your day and he can see the big smile on your face and the sparkle in your eyes

it gives him the strength to keep going 😖😖

the two of you aren’t as touch starved as you’d probably think, but that’s only bc the two of you had each other

in your opinion, no one can match the hugs of your big brother

and it got even better bc YAYY he has tiger arms now ٩(◕‿◕)۶

if you ask, he’d carry you around too hehe

you also get nightmares quite often so he’ll always be there ready to calm you down, talk if you need to, and rock you back to sleep

god i love him 🤧🤧

atsushi will do everything in his power to protect you and make sure you get to grow up happy, supported, and loved

port mafia attack? oop he’s already taking you to the nearest escape route

someone is starting to harass you? they just got suckered punched into the next week

you want to go out to have some fun? he’ll go ask the president for a day off

you’re not feeling well? he’ll take another day off and take care of you

whatever you want to do, he’ll do it with you! (as long as it’s within reason)

will always be your #1 supporter! and he’s the president of your fan club hehe

he loves you so so much and will do anything for you; your life and happiness will always be more important to him

you are his reason to keep going

agency head canons !!

atsushi is your big brother, but kunikida is most definitely some sort of father figure

everyone can see it

except kunikida of course

kunikida scolds you lightly if he thinks your manners need work or if you make a mess in the agency

you listen to him of course and in turn as some sort of a reward, he’ll give you pieces of stationary

he always gives you the nice, good quality kind and you’re over the moon

atsushi adores it when you come running to him showing your new notebook or fountain pen and blabbering what you’re going to do with it

sometimes it isn’t even as a reward for being a good child; he’ll just give it to you and he’ll say smth like “i noticed you’ve used up your last notebook quite quickly, so here’s another one” or “did you run out of ink? here have this then”

he usually has a soft spot for children in general, but he most definitely has a soft spot (or a thousand) for you

yosano is kind of like a motherly figure to you

she gives you the guidance a mother should and goes on shopping trips with you!

atsushi always gets dragged along by you, but he thinks it’s worth it seeing you look so happy

yosano being a doctor also tries to teach the things you should know, or things that would be helpful to you

she’ll teach you the basics of cooking, sewing, how to treat a cold/fever, etc

also gives you excellent advice 1000% of the time

“remember (y/n)-chan if someone hurts you come tell me and then i’ll chop them into—”

“yOSANO-SENSEI DONT TELL HER THAT—”

fukuzawa is like a father to most in the agency but you see him more as a grandfather figure

bi weekly tea and gossip sessions hehe

along with cat talk!

most of the time though, it’s just you talking and him listening to you, but the two of you enjoy it nonetheless

“and then kunikida-san ended up crashing into a pole and dazai-san started to laugh at him and i did too because it was really funny but we ended up getting scolded—”

“hmm i see...”

he’ll let you stay in his office as he fills out paperwork; you’re usually doodling or drawing in your notebooks

sometimes he’ll meditate and you’ll join him, but 4/7 times you’d fall asleep

you always wake up with a blanket over you

dazai is like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

frequently takes you out with him when he ditches work

walks in the park, eating at uzumaki so he has the excuse of treating you so he doesn’t have to pay his tab avoiding kunikida and sometimes chuuya and akutagawa, all that fun stuff

also tries to not talk abt suicide in front of you especially if it’s just the two of you alone

he knows that you mean the world to his pupil and that said pupil would probably hate him for putting suicide inside your brain

he teaches you random but useful things like how to pick a lock, how to steal kunikida’s notebook if you’re looking for some information, how to sweet talk your way out of things, etc.

is also the one to tell you that if you ever get a significant other to introduce them to the agency first

he always wants all of your gossip; some of them work pretty well for blackmail

“dazai-san! dazai-san! did you know that kunikida-san lost his glasses and he was looking for them for nearly an hour when he was just holding them the entire time??”

“woah really (y/n)-chan?! hey hey can you say it again into this recording device so kunikida-kun would believe me when i tell him—”

always ends up giving kunikida a heart attack when he says that you’ve been with him all day

ranpo is also like a cool but a highly concerning and kind of high maintenance uncle

will share some of his snacks, but don’t push it or you might not get anything at all

loves it when you compliment him

if you tagged along with him and your brother on a case, he will show off to impress you

“...and that’s how the crime happened”

“UWAHH RANPO-SAN YOU’RE SO COOL”

atsushi is lowkey and kunikida is highkey stressed that ranpo’s eating habits will rub off on you

“ne (y/n)-chan do you wanna try this highly caffeinated drink and this concerning amount of sugar filled snack?”

“can i really?!”

“rANPO-SAN NO—”

ranpo definitely does stuff like that on purpose 

the tanizakis are like siblings to you!

a weird set of siblings but siblings nonetheless

the two of them adore you and think you’re precious

atsushi definitely knows how to do your hair whether it’s long or short but he got even better at it when he asked the two

hehe braid trains are definitely a thing + kyouka and kenji (and maybe even dazai)

sometimes you have sibling swap days

you’re with junichiro for most of the day and atsushi is with naomi

strange i know

each of the tanizaki siblings try to make it fun bc they know that the two of you did not at all have a happy upbringing

junichiro likes spending time with you by taking you out to different places that naomi likes to frequent

like the mall, different stores and restaurants, the park, places like those

naomi does the same thing with atsushi so if you ever bump into them, you go out and eat together :)

besides atsushi, the next one in line who spoils you the most would be junichiro (and yosano & kunikida both coming in at a close third)

he honestly can’t help it; you remind him of how naomi was when she was younger

and besides

he’s always been a sucker when it came to the happiness of a little sister

“would you really buy this for me junichiro-san?!”

“of course! don’t worry about it” :)

wanna talk abt boys/girls/celebrity crushes things like that? naomi is your girl

you feel a bit embarrassed to go talking to yosano or your brother abt that and kyouka does not know a thing abt them either

“uwahh naomi-san look at all these people in this magazine! they look so good!”

“right?! but of course onii-sama is still the best—”

you get along with kenji and kyouka quite nicely being roughly the same age as them; they’re also like siblings!

just pure, wholesome vibes from the three of you

you’re over the moon when she finds out that kyouka is staying with you and your brother

atsushi is twice as happy seeing you talk your mouth off and finally having a girl around your age to talk to

“do you think demon snow can change how she looks?”

“hmm... im not sure...”

you and kenji talk abt anything and everything

he even teaches you how to take care of plants!

sometimes the two of you are kind of in the same boat bc you don’t know much abt yokohoma being stuck in the orphanage and kenji doesn’t know much abt cities in general

“wait where are we again kenji-san?”

“ah we’re close to the ports! but im not really sure how close because i don’t know what the symbols on this sign mean”

“don’t worry! neither do i!”

bonus things!

yosano was kind of too late teaching you abt you know what

“NII-SAN IM BLEEDING IN BETWEEN MY LEGS”

you’re sobbing in the agency’s bathroom and atsushi is panicking trying to get you to open the door

“Y/N?! H-HOLD ON LET ME GET YOSANO SENSEI”

ranpo overhears and cackles making everyone around him confused

suddenly atsushi bursts in the agency basically on the verge of tears rambling incoherent sentences abt the bathroom, you, and blood

it just clicked for everybody in the room

(im going to pretend that kenji has sisters back home so that atsushi is the only one who remain oblivious here hehe)

atsushi is genuinely confused and sort of concerned that no one is freaking out with him

yosano waves her hand saying smth like that she’d take care of it and junichiro pulls atsushi to the side to talk to him

fast forward like half and hour and dazai and ranpo are cackling on the looks of both of your faces

honestly not sure who’s more traumatized, you or your brother

“why does this have to happen” :(

“ne ne (y/n)-chan!~ you’re too young but at some point you’re not going to have it!”

“uwahh really dazai-san?” :D

“yeah! but first you have to have ANFK—”

next thing you know your ears are being covered by your brother and dazai is thrown across the room by kunikida

you know

the normal

you’re twelve and have never gone to school, but the agency takes care of that

it’s too dangerous to go to school so they teach you what’s necessary and whatever else they can

kunikida takes care of math (obviously)

yosano takes care of science/biology/anatomy/health (whatever you wanna call it)

ranpo even dragged poe to help you with english

atsushi even got lucy to help you out with english too!

as tanizaki and naomi used to be students, they give you their old work books and they try to teach you all the other subjects

sometimes kyouka and kenji are there learing with you too!

sorry if there’s some errors! i’ll read through it again later :)

and as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

[feralshadowdemon]

It's not halloween season yet, but summer is slowly coming to a close. so you know what that means

Chuuya and Poe friendship headcanons part three electric boogaloo but halloween/autumn themed (they still don't pay rent for living in my head 24/7)

(link to the previous headcanon post)

Since it's gotten colder, Karl has gotten more sweaters. Chuuya also made him little socks and gloves, on movie nights he and Poe bundle up into sweaters as well. (They all have matching sweaters by the way)

After the sweaters going well, Karl also ended up with a little scarf. His wardrobe is expanding faster than ever and Poe keeps enough room for all his clothes Chuuya makes for Karl

They start making hot chocolate for movie nights and book clubs, sometimes tea or coffee as well, depends on the book or movie

During a halloween movie, they carve some pumpkins and make them look like Karl. Then proceed to hide them around the Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia. Some thought it was cute/funny, others got scared half to death

They go out to buy gifts/candy for everyone when halloween is around the corner, Poe isn't used to talking to people/socializing in general so Chuuya ends up being the one who talks. Yeah they get most of the gifts for free because the shop owners are scared of Chuuya, makes it easier getting stuff they need though.

They tried playing chess together one time but Karl kept knocking over (or eating) the chess pieces

Chuuya made fingerless gloves for Poe to match with the hat he gave him, Poe loved it a lot and wears it whenever he feels like it. Yes he wears the fingerless gloves almost 24/7, what about it? They're comfy

They had a picnic in a park, Ranpo eventually joined them with extra snacks. It was a nice picnic! Then Dazai showed up and Chuuya immediately lunged for his ankles

Since Chuuya began sewing stuff for Karl, Poe attempting to also try out sewing. He managed to make a little beanie for Karl with some tips and also help from Chuuya

After getting too frustrated at a movie they were watching, Chuuya and Poe went outside to cool off. They ended up making flower crowns in the process (also made a flower crown for Karl of course)

Chuuya and Poe sometimes taste wine to see if it's good, mainly Chuuya is the one bringing wine and asking Poe if he think it'd taste good before drinking some. Occasionally Poe also tastes the wine

[drangues]

Impervious

The Armed Detective Agency was in something of a chaotic frenzy.

This, in and of itself, was not anything new- Day in and out, if one listened hard enough, they could hear the infuriated screams of one Kunikida Doppo as he frantically chased after his coworkers in a futile attempt to get them to complete whatever paperwork they were avoiding that day. Hearing the terrified screams of the patients- Or perhaps, the victims- Of one Yosano Akiko’s medical practices also wasn’t too out of the norm, for the area.

What was out of the norm was the genuinely fearful air about the workers of the Agency- Every single one of them was rushed, in some way, and they all bore a frenzied energy that seemed to refuse the idea of sitting still.

And if one looked into the Agency’s office space, they’d find the reason why.

xxx—xxx—xxx

There was not a single member of the Armed Detective Agency that was having a good day, and it wasn’t even in the “we’ll laugh about this later!” way that Dazai Osamu liked to torment his coworkers with. To be fair, the man himself was hardly in the mood to be pulling pranks and making a mockery of everyone- And it was all for one simple reason.

Nakajima Atsushi had gone missing.

He wasn’t sick or calling out of work for some other reason, because Izumi Kyōka had seen him before she left their shared apartment, Kunikida had called to make certain that he wasn’t feeling ill and had forgotten to notify them, and Dazai had even broken into the apartment (without asking Kyōka) after all was said and done, just to double check.

He wasn’t lost in the depths of Yokohama, because Miyazawa Kenji and the Tanizaki siblings, Jun’ichirō and Naomi, had been combing through the city on foot to make sure he hadn’t gotten sucked into any trouble, and Tayama Katai has been looking through the security records in every available place, both legally and illegally, just to cover all their bases.

He wasn’t in the custody of the Port Mafia, which they admittedly only knew because at least three separate people would have sent a message to gloat about having captured the weretiger.

(Also, Dazai had not-so-secretly pulled some of his older strings and broken out a few threats of dismemberment, but that was neither here nor there.)

No one knew where the white-haired male had gone, and it was becoming increasingly obvious that someone outside of the usual suspects had interfered in their lives.

Now if only they knew who the hell this new subject was.

xxx—xxx—xxx

When he opened his eyes, it became clear to Atsushi that something had gone very wrong between Point A and Point B on his way to work.

Admittedly, the day had started off somewhat badly to begin with- Kyōka has dropped the breakfast crêpe he’d made her on her way out the door, so he’d promised to make her a new one while she went on ahead. Then, once he’d finished with it, he’d realized that he was late, and that he was certain to get an earful from Kunikida about it. So he’d stepped up the pace and started running for the Agency, and then-

And then-

And then what?

He… Remembers, somewhat vaguely, someone stopping him as he ran. They wanted something, he thinks. Then… Nothing. The last thing he remembered seeing was-

Ah, he thinks, somewhat dully, I dropped the crêpe.

It wasn’t actually that big of an issue, all things considered- Clearly, he’d been kidnapped- And yet, that’s what stuck out at him. That’s what he remembered.

How stupid.

You couldn’t have remembered something actually useful? Your captor’s face, perhaps? Your surroundings?

Useless, awful beast-

Atsushi breathed in. Breathed out. Not right now. He couldn’t handle hallucinations right now. He needed to think. Whoever took him had to want something, right? Something from the Agency?

But what, and why-

Creeeaaak.

The door opens, slowly and loudly, and for the first time, he realized that he was, in fact in an inclosed space- He just hadn’t thought to use his senses to confirm it. He isn’t wearing a blindfold, but the light is flickering and dull- Certainly dim enough to offset anyone else, if they’d been caught. The air is stale, too, an old kind of scent that makes him think of earth and dirt- Underground, then. Maybe.

How would you know? You can barely even function as a detective on a normal day, much less when you’ve been taken by someone.

Should’ve left you to die in a ditch.

Should’ve let you starve.

Should’ve left you rotting in the basement-

With a shaky sigh, Atsushi manages to ignore the words that have always haunted him, and the figure of a man standing just at the corners of his vision. Instead, he takes in his captor.

They’re taller- Taller than him, anyways- With messy, frantically rumpled brown hair and wild, dark brown eyes. He looks like he just rolled out of bed- Or like he’s been too worked up to take care of himself.

Atsushi catches a whiff of his scent and immediately decides its the latter.

He doesn’t… Register everything the man says- He’s still groggy from being unconscious, and there’s a distractingly sickening pit in his stomach that gets deeper the more this man talks.

Dangerous.

Run.

Stay away.

Run

Run.

Run!

And it’s only as the man tightens his restraints and lets out an unhinged laugh that Atsushi realizes, with a dullness that only comes from experience-

Oh.

There’s a nail above his foot, and a few more set aside.

His captor raises a hammer.

I’ve seen your kind before.

Atsushi doesn’t scream.

xxx—xxx—xxx

It takes them four days, some intense virtual searching from Katai, and the intervention of Edogawa Ranpo (Who had been away on a mission for the Agency for the first three days, and who they hadn’t been able to contact) for the Agency to realize when Atsushi was taken, who took him, and where he might be at the moment.

Most alarmingly, alongside this information, they discover what might be happening to the weretiger while they tried to find him.

Hanmura Ryō was a man with an extensive criminal history, and the connections to make sure he never really had to suffer for it. He was well know for kidnapping and torturing people- Usually, those people are between the ages of seventeen and twenty one, and they mostly had silver or white hair. This torture could apparently range from a single day to a month, and he’d initially killed his victims after becoming bored of them.

Then his connections had proven to be powerful enough to keep him from facing any real consequences, and he took to leaving his victims alive after he was done with them- A last sort of mockery on their inability to do anything to him.

Needless to say, this information only worked the Agency up even further.

After all, Atsushi, as far as they were aware, had never really had any experience with being tortured- Which wasn’t to say that they’d be alright if he did have experience with it, but it made them worried that it would break him irreparably.

(Of course, unknown to them- Or perhaps, ignored by them- Atsushi did, in fact, have experience in that field.

It wasn’t his fault they didn’t believe him.)

Luckily, it only took a few more minutes of digging from Katai (Minutes filled with some very colorful threats from Dazai, and a distinctly murderous feeling from Kyōka) to narrow down the kidnapper’s location- And, with any luck, it will be Atsushi’s location, as well.

It’s Dazai, Yosano, and Kunikida that end up getting in the car to go on their rescue mission.

(Kyōka had wanted to go, but Fukuzawa Yukichi had very firmly put his foot down, regardless of her past experiences, and told her that Atsushi would much rather have the first face he sees upon returning be that of his little sister.

She was now waiting very stubbornly by the door to be exactly that, but he’d take what he could get.)

They just hoped they wouldn’t be too late.

xxx—xxx—xxx

Atsushi doesn’t know how long it’s been, exactly, but he does know that he’s… Surprised? At how little this is all affecting him.

Oh, don’t misunderstand- He’s terrified out of his mind at being in a place that he never asked to be in, that’s so similar to a place he hated (Hates? Hated? Dazai and Jun’ichirō had made things so confusing…). He’s terrified that he can’t bring himself to use his Ability in such a place. He’s terrified that the Agency might not come for him- Because they can’t? Or worse, because they don’t want to.

But- While the nails going up and down his arms and his legs hurt- The torture itself isn’t getting to him. Oh, sure, the hot pokers that his captor had shoved in his gut hurt something awful, and getting his bones broken, only for them to heal, was an… Interesting experience, but.

But this wasn’t anything he hadn’t dealt with before. If anything, it was tame in comparison.

The man hasn’t even tried to sew his mouth shut, like one of the Sister had when he was a child. He isn’t being forced to do labor while injured. There’s blood- His blood- But he isn’t being forced to clean it up. Words on his own worthlessness as a human being aren’t being forced into his head, day in and day out.

Well, they are being forced there, but he isn’t sure if a hallucination counts- It isn’t anything new, after all.

It hurts- Everything the man does hurts. His body aches, and he knows that, without Byakko, he’d be irreparably broken, physically speaking.

But he’s used to this sort of thing. “This sort of thing” is one of his earliest memories.

His captor screams, frustration coating his voice as he kicks Atsushi’s chair down. The pokers twist in their wounds, making him wince, but he still doesn’t make much of a sound at the feeling.

Breath in, breath out.

The man shrieks again, foot coming down on his spine with an audible crack for what must be the fifth time.

Remember- What’s better than being alive?

xxx—xxx—xxx

It doesn’t take all that long for the trio to arrive at their location- A fairly normal house, all things considered, if somewhat rundown and a bit out of date. The key feature is, of course, the basement they’re almost entirely certain is holding Atsushi.

(Everyone hopes that’s where he is, at least. They’re pretty sure that Dazai will actually go on a killing spree if it isn’t- And they don’t think they’d stop him.)

The entire building is silent upon initial observation, though, and none of them are quite sure how to feel about that.

Is he okay?

Is he gagged?

Is he dead is he dead is he-

Yosano enters first, and Dazai would complain if he didn’t know it was to give her quick access to Atsushi if he had a fatal injury. (Also, she was generally a badass, but that’s another story, entirely.) The two men follow behind, all three quiet as they scan the first room for anything potentially alarming.

There isn’t much, really. Just some dull, ratty carpets, thrown over the floor in haste, and cracking wallpaper.

Also, there’s a padlocked door at the far end, and they could’ve sworn there was screaming of some sort.

It doesn’t take much more than that for them to break down the offending door, which was apparently soundproofed somehow, because the screaming, while still indistinct, became much louder without it. In fact, the screaming itself didn’t even stop at the noise of the door falling.

They take the stairs two at a time, with the exception of Dazai, who simply skips walking down entirely to throw himself at the bottom, hitting the floor in a neat roll as he gets back up.

All three of them get weapons out, turning to face the source of the noise.

None of them were quite expecting what they saw.

xxx—xxx—xxx

Atsushi doesn’t know what he did to make his captor so mad, but he’s kind of wishing he hadn’t done it, regardless.

The man will. Not. Stop. Screaming.

For someone with sensitive ears, like Atsushi, it’s hardly a pleasant experience, and he isn’t entirely certain what he’s yelling about in the first place- Wasn’t he the kidnapped one, here?

He shifted again, causing the plethora of nails, pokers, and stakes that his captor and pressed into his body to tug at him uncomfortably- Any bruises created from the beatings he’d been given had long since healed, much to the man’s ire, and he’d eventually chosen to keep going with the only things that left lasting marks.

(That they only left lasting marks because he wouldn’t remove them was ignored, apparently.)

His head fell back against the dirt floor he’d been laying on ever since the man had knocked over the chair that was holding him.

You deserve this.

Weak. Useless. Mindless.

It’s your own fault, couldn’t even hear him coming-

Monster monster monster monster-

He shut his eyes, trying to block out the voices hissing in his ears- But concentrating was a lot harder with the hunger twisting in his gut. His captor hardly felt the need to feed him, after all.

A foot lashed out, driving a trio of nails on his collarbone deeper into his body, and he choked at the sensation.

It still wasn’t a scream, though, and the man snarled, foot reeling back to repeat his actions-

Thu-thud thu-thud thu-thud-

THUMP.

If he’d been using them, Atsushi’s tiger ears would’ve twitched at the noises- As it stood, he simply raised his head, attempting to peer into the front of the room, where his captor typically used as his entrance and exit.

He blinked.

To be fair, he didn’t think the man was expecting the sight behind him, either, if the look on his face as he twisted around was any indication.

Behind him stood Dazai Osamu, Yosano Akiko, and Kunikida Doppo of the Armed Detective Agency.

And they did not look happy.

xxx—xxx—xxx

When they found their missing coworker, they’d expected blood- Lots of blood, to be honest. Broken bones, screaming, the whole nine yards- And they technically got that.

They just. Weren’t expecting the screaming to come from Hanmura.

Oh, Atsushi was clearly in pain, sure- His eyes were glassy, and his breathing was far to rapid for their comfort- But he wasn’t screaming or cowering, as they were afraid he’d be.

By all rights, he seemed almost… Used to this.

Had they still been too late? They’d moved as fast as they could-

Had he broken completely?

Was he just stronger than they thought-

God, they hoped he was stronger than they thought he would be-

It takes them only a moment to regain their bearings, and within seconds, Dazai has shot Hanmura in both kneecaps with pinpoint accuracy, with Kunikida moving in to fully restrain him a moment later. Yosano, meanwhile, had immediately moved to Atsushi’s side, carefully removing him from his restraints with some quickly applied bolt cutters and lock picks.

After that, it doesn’t take long at all for her to begin examining one of her newest coworkers- Senior only to Kyōka, really. With as much care as can be afforded, she begins checking the wounds around every intrusion to his body before removing them and allowing the tiger to do its work.

Better safe than sorry, she thinks. Super healing or no, if infection had set in-

She pushes the thought aside, only really intervening in the healing itself to remove any cauterized areas- The fucker had used heated pokers at some point, then.

How lovely.

(And maybe she would typically be more sadistic, but even she has her limits- And she won’t make things worse for Atsushi after he’d just spent four days being tortured.)

Luckily, it takes only five minutes for her to remove all of the nails and stakes and pokers that had been shoved in the silver-haired male’s body, and soon enough, she’s able to help him to his feet, though he’s a bit unsteady, and far, far too light.

(He probably hadn’t been fed at all, and she sees Dazai stomp a foot down on one of Hanmura’s now-broken kneecaps.

Good.)

Once he’s up, she steps aside and let’s Dazai hold Atsushi, instead- The man has been worried out of his mind, after all, and she can’t say she blames him.

True to expectations, Dazai immediately wraps an arm around Atsushi’s back to steady him again before pressing his face into his neck in a sort of half-hug, and after some rather impressive, nonverbal back-and-forth, he convinces him to at least get on his back so that he doesn’t have to walk too much.

(Healed or no, the man had still be starved. So what if he wanted to take care of him a little bit?)

A mutual look between all three rescuers tells them that they’ll talk about this later- About why Atsushi seemed so unaffected, and about how the hell to make sure that Hanmura stays down- But for now, they have more important things to focus on.

It was time to go home.

xxx—xxx—xxx

Author’s Note: Yes! It is I, Nyanon!!! Anyways, you mentioned wanting a fic of the “Atsushi being tortured” idea I sent you on anon- Hopefully this is good enough!

Also, if you’re wondering why Atsushi didn’t just turn into a tiger and eat Hanmura- It was sort of meant to be a “he’s been in this situation before, and just pliantly doing what they wanted was how he survived” sort of thing? Because Trauma. Hopefully that makes sense!

[misstinfoilhat]

Whumptober 2019 #16: Scars- Bungou Stray Dogs

This is part 2 of this ----

“How can you do this to yourself?” Kunikida asked, deep in shock. Obviously, Dazai had been hiding something under his bandages. Self-mutilation had always been a distinct possibility, but not in his wildest dreams had Kunikida ever thought that it would be this bad. Nobody should be able to hurt themselves to this extent.

It should not be humanly possible, but then again...

A chill went down Kunkida's spine as he realized for the first time how the name of Dazai's ability actually seemed to fit the distraught man in front of him, in some sick, distorted kind of way. 

Maybe the idea of being in possession of no longer human was what fueled him, manipulating his body and mind into enduring these horrible actions which any sound mind should be unable to commit against oneself.

A faint shake of the head was the only response he could get out of the lethargic man and Kunikida decided to let it be for now.

If he pushed him too hard, it would only end in disaster. Even if Dazai always seemed to worm his way back to life, into the same annoyingly carefree and chipper 'bandage-wasting-suicidal-maniac' (which somehow had become a term of endearment around the agency) he usually was- this situation right here, right now, felt different.

It was real and right in front of him and uncensored and absolutely heart-wrenching.

So Kunikida kept quiet and continued cleaning out the wounds, using strips or stitching them together before covering them with excessive amounts of gauze while his thoughts were spiraling out of control about the days leading up to this...

...which had been utterly uneventful. Nothing to warn them of what was to come at all.

They had been just like any other days, weeks or months, with Dazai doing slightly dangerous things around the office, declaring them as possible suicide methods while wearing a huge grin on his face. Or, shamelessly getting down on his knees in front of any woman in his proximity that he deemed worthy, begging them to commit double suicide with him.

Teasing, agonizing Kunikida to no end, abrupting his thoroughly planned out schedule just to get a reaction- which Kunikida always would give him.

Pretending that Ranpo wasn't fiercely competitive towards him- letting the abilityless (and just a bit clueless), but never the less genius, detective solve several puzzles Dazai himself likely had been able to figure out the second he had laid his eyes on them.

And the way Dazai was huddled up in the corner of the room like a ferocious animal when Kunikida had come in...

“Who did you think I was?” Kunikida finally asked carefully. Dazai bearly stirred.

“Hm?” Dazai hummed, still a long way from his bathroom in his mind. But, he finally seemed to be waking up from the hypnotic daze he had been trapped inside.

“When I came in... You seemed to think I was someone else.”

“Oh.”

Dazai was weary and pale, probably from blood loss and sleeplessness. Kunikida had just begun to sew shut yet another gash on his arm, but the stinging, throbbing sensations that radiated from the self-inflicted wounds exceded far beyond Kunikida's precise stitches.

“I- I'm not sure,” Dazai answered sincerely, winching a little as Kunikida tied the first stitch at the next laceration.

“Sorry,” Kunikida muttered quietly, but Dazai only waved it off as not a big deal.

“I think I was somewhere else, in my mind, I mean,” Dazai explained before he scoffed drearily. “When you let yourself in, I was looking for a weapon I haven't borne in 5 years.”

At that, Kunikida raised an interested eyebrow, but continued his work meticulously all the while, hoping that his cryptic partner might continue this rarety of opening up if he didn't interfere too much.

Of course, Dazai didn't, which wasn't too surprising considering that he was the same man who had managed to keep his past position as one of the most powerful (not to mention dangerous) people of the Japanese underworld a secret for years. A position he had reached when he was still just a teenager.

How this suicidal, manically depressed goofball could manage such a thing, was something Kunikida would never be able to truly comprehend. It was likely something none of them would ever understand- they would never know how a scrawny child with a death wish had ended up as an executive in one of the most feared gangs in the world.

The only person in possession of those answers was currently seated on a toilet seat in front of him, bleeding from countless lacerations reaching from his throat to the soles of his feet.

So, Kunikida decided that he couldn't pounder on that part of Dazai's past anymore. It was simply too bizarre, and even if Dazai clearly was very haunted, maybe focusing on who Dazai was now- not who he used to be, could somehow pull him out of this self-destructive apathy.

Or maybe it's not Kunikida who needs to stop thinking of Dazai as a monster.

Kunikida cleared his throat, catching Dazai's glassy eyes that had previously stared blindly into his lap.

“Dazai, I know I might be the last person you'd want to hear something like this from, but I'm going to say it anyway... You have to stop blaming yourself for... whatever it is that's tearing you apart. You need to stop living in the past and start looking forward to the future... The past is clearly eating you alive, but the future just might save you.”

Dazai only looked at him. For a long time, while a small, pained smile slowly tugged at the corner of his mouth. Dejected, he let his hair fall in front of his eyes, and something in his expression shifted.

“Of course, Kunikida-kun... I have to stop dwelling on the past and focus on the future. It all makes sense now,” he murmured in an eery whisper, bitterness, and animosity dripping off his tongue like blood from a blade.

Like the blood, dripping from Dazai's hands, arms, legs, feet, torso, hips, chest, neck... Kunikida was clearly over his head in gaping wounds.

“Dazai...” Kunikida started to say, but Dazai jerked his head back up. Exhausted yet fiercely focused, half-lidded eyes peered holes through Kunikida, almost startling the usually stoic man out of his kneeled stance in front of him, needle still between two pieces of flesh, ready to tie it back together.

“No, you're absolutely right. If I just stop thinking about it, it will all go away. I will win back my will to live. This aching, gnawing, harrowing emptiness that makes me utterly unable to feel a single thing except for unbearable guilt, will just disappear! The loved ones of those I've tortured and killed will finally be at peace! It won't matter that I've orphaned countless children and simultaneously been the sole reason that the only man that could've saved them was killed-” his voice broke off in an abrupt, pained choke.

Trying to brace himself, he inhaled a sharp shuddering breath. Carefully exhaling, everything shattered again and he was left heaving on the toilet seat, somewhere in between a sob and hyper-ventilating.

“Shit, Dazai... I didn't mean...” Kunikida quickly finished the stitch he had been working on and cut the thread. He backed up, giving the struggling man some space.

“...do you really want to know why I do this to myself?” Dazai asked venomously, crouched down on himself in a way that Kunikida couldn't decide reminiscent a hug or a straight-jacket.

“It's my punishment. These are all my sins. No matter how many scars that litter my body, it will never be enough...” His voice was shaking, fragile and small, struggling to bear.

“I can't keep count of them, just like I lost count of all the people I've hurt... how many families I've destroyed... So, I wear these scars on my sleeves as a constant reminder of what I've done, and it will never be enough... Not until it kills me.”

Kunikida wanted to say something, anything.

...but what was there to say, really? Kunikida knew a thing or two about regret, that much was true. Still, what Dazai had done... What good was a regretful sinner to anyone? Or a dead sinner, for argument's sake...

It wouldn't change the past. It wouldn't change his wrongdoings.

“At least, you're helping people now, Dazai. It won't cancel all the other things out, but it does count for something.”

“...do you know what the worst part is, Kunikida?” Dazai asked, seemingly ignoring the blonde's attempt of encouragement.

“...the worst part is, that... even if what you say is true...” 

He was unable to finish that sentence the way he intended.

Again, Dazai choked on his words. He cleared his throat, fighting back tears (because he didn't deserve to cry- didn't deserve to grieve or morn or feel fucking sorry for himself-) before he was able to force out in a pained whisper, “...it won't bring him back.”

Kunikida had come closer now, leaning down with his hands hovering insecurely over Dazai's battered body, wanting, but lacking the courage to place the comforting touch he so wanted to set on his partner's shoulder.

Suddenly, Dazai yanked his head back up. His expression was tight, and he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. His irises seemed to wobble from unshed tears as he grabbed onto the taller man's shirt.

At the blink of an eye, literally, Dazai's body betrayed him. One tear fell, two tears fell, and finally, the flood gates opened.

Kunikida stared horrified, paralyzed by the rare sight. Dazai was showing real, unfiltered emotions.

Quickly, the idealist shook himself out of his stupified immobilization and pulled the trembling man in, locking his arms around him tightly.

Dazai cried silently. The only sound coming from him was an occasional shuddering heave for air, and Kunikida only tightened his grip around him, whispering repeatedly in his ear that it was okay.

------------------

Kunikida came around his car to help Dazai out. He had reluctantly agreed to use the crutches that Kunikida had found inside the closet in Dazai's bedroom, to ease the pressure on his newly stitched feet. It had been the strict condition for driving him out here instead of to the infirmary.

Dazai stood, heavily leaned on them and peered over the graveyard he had lead them to. Kunikida stood beside him, trying to follow his gaze, which guided him towards an old, weeping willow. Its branches leaned tiredly over a sole gravestone at the absolute edge of the site, with a beautiful outlook over the ocean.

Dazai started to hobble his way towards the tree, the snow dancing around him like angles in an ethereal snowball fight before Kunikida was able to shake himself out of his musings and hurried to catch up to his partner.

“Wait up,” he said, raising his voice slightly before catching up to him. Dazai really didn't need to slow down- the trail was icy and Dazai was clearly struggling to make his way, with the crutches slipping off the path now and then- leaving him looking unstable and clumsy.

But, he didn't look back. He soldiered forward, aimed intently at the modest gravestone under the beautiful tree.

Once there, Dazai let himself crumble to the ground in front of it, reaching inside his pocket and pulling out a lighter. Using his bare hands, he dug out a small lantern from under the snow, and re-lit the light inside of it.

It immediately illuminated their surroundings, giving their evocative spot in the dim graveyard a serene, celestial glow.

Kunikida curiously leaned over to read the writing on the stone. It said Oda Sakunosuke- born October 26th, died January 10th...

...oh.

Reading further, the engraving read in beautiful cursive, “Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, become a good man. Save the weak, and protect the orphans.”

Suddenly, he understood the significance this man had had on Dazai's life.

“It was his last words,” Dazai said calmly, apparently noticing Kunikida reading. “He is the reason I left the Port Mafia, to spend my life in the light.”

Kunikida nodded, captivated by the moment.

“You truly cared about this man, didn't you?” Kunikida stated severely. Dazai gave him a curt nod and concentrated his attention back to the tomb.

“He was a good man,” Dazai confirmed solemnly.

“I'm sure.”

“He...” Dazai started to say, but cut himself off.

Kunikida kept standing behind, watching the wind tearing at his partner's clothes, ruffling his hair in the frigid winter-breeze.

“...yes,” Dazai finally continued. “He was... He was too good for this world.”

The snow shifted behind him. Kunikida lowered into the snow by Dazai's side.

Together, they sat there in comfortable silence, quietly honoring the man's life on the anniversary of his death.

The air was chilly, and Kunikida felt the snow soaking through his trousers, but he was going to keep sitting there for as long as Dazai needed.

After some time, Dazai reached into his pocket and took out a small flask. He opened it, muttering a quiet “Kenpai',” and poured out a small amount onto his friend's grave, before bringing it to his own lips, taking a sip. He passed it along to Kunikida- who was driving, but still accepted it. “Kenpai,” Kunikida repeated with a nod, gesturing towards the grave in a small toast.

The whiskey burned on its way down his throat, warming him up a little.

After their drink, Dazai was finally starting to get up, and Kunikida hurried to his feet to help him out. He handed the crutches over to him and turned to leave.

Dazai stayed back for a moment, smiling faintly at his friends final resting place.

“See you soon, Odasaku,” he murmured silently, bowing his head in respect before following Kunikida's lead.

Kunikida didn't want to think about what he might have meant by that.

Calmly, they walked back towards the car, side by side. Dazai still struggled a bit but was keeping Kunikida's pace never the less.

“Thank you,” Kunikida uttered suddenly, and stopped. Confused, Dazai tilted his head and peered back at him.

“For what?”

“For showing me this. I really appreciate it. I know it's... sacred.”

Dazai lowered his gaze for a moment, before a sad sort of smile appeared on his lips.

“Oda deserves for people to know what a great man he was. I should be better about that, huh?”

Kunikida shrugged. “Maybe so, but I think an even better way to honor his memory, is to stop disappearing for days and hurting yourself. I didn't know Sakunosaku-san, but if he's half the man you claim him to be, I'm sure he wouldn't want that for you.”

Considering this for a moment, Dazai nodded his agreement as if it was a thought that had never occurred to him before.

“Yeah, you're probably right...”

“None of us do,” Kunikida pressed on.

They had arrived back at the car now. Dazai got in, while Kunikida ushered the crutches in the back before getting into the driver's seat.

Longingly, Dazai stared out of the window as they pulled out from the parking lot in front of the graveyard, heading back towards the solitude and pressing atmosphere of the dormitories. 

Somehow, Dazai dreaded it, afraid that his head would spiral back into that dark space. He already envisioned ripping open the countless amount of stitches one by one, fixating the pain from his inside to the outside of his body- letting crimson liquid escape, reminding him of the many screams of his defenseless victims as he stomped their heads onto the pavement and-

“Don't.”

A hand was placed on top of his own, and he realized that he was subconsciously picking at his stitches over the bandages. Dazai blinked several times, surprised that he had let his mask slip.

Kunikida sighed audibly.

“I'm sorry,” Dazai muttered, parting his hands.

“Don't apologize, just... Just don't do that.”

Ashamed of himself, embarrassed about his slip-up, Dazai kept quiet for a long time. The silence in the car felt pressing and uncomfortable- and Kunikida racked his brain for something to say. He didn't want to leave Dazai alone with his thoughts for too long.

“...if you don’t, I'll tape oven mitts to your hands, like a toddler with chickenpox.”

Dazai snorted, willingly taking the bait. 

“Actually, picking at your stitches soften the skin and make it scar less,” Dazai proclaimed matter of factly.

Kunikida side-glanced at his bandaged partner, for once, understanding where this was going-

“You should probably write that down,” Dazai smirked knowingly, receiving a chuckle in response, and a light smack across the head.