#ratatouille ass bird

[phoenixcavalier]

i responded to an injured/trapped bird call at a childs birthday party- teenage house finch, not injured just lost. As soon as i ushured him out, he IMMEDIATELY flew into the cafe next door and trapped himself in their stockroom 🙄

[fbfh]

Dear fbfh, I have a request:

-if you are down the baldurs gate 3 rabbithole like me to write imagine/hcs/whatever yoy feel fits for Tav(da MC) coming out of Astarion’s tent after some…late night…sucking because yk vampire

-BUT! Tav also spots Shadowheart coming out kf Karlachs tent abd Awkwardness happens

Fangz sincerely, cici xoxo gorl

CICI MY BELOVED. been cackling about this since you told me abt it on discord. disclaimer that I have not played BG3 but it is attacking me from all sides so first and foremost Shadowheart is giving Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way vibes. She's goth (in case you couldn't tell) she loves hot topic and gets all her clothes from there.

But yeah when you/Tav sneaks out of Astarion's tent Shadowheart clocks your ass IMMEDIATELY. for fucks sake you just gave him like 3 pints of blood and you look like you're gonna pass out. someone get you cotton balls and tape and also some juice and cookies. you need to lay down immediately. you really don't know if you're woozy from letting Astarion squeeze you like a lil ketchup packet or from the feeling of him being all over you for hells know how long, but it doesn't matter too much because Shadowheart is never going to let you live it down. She starts to call you out on it but in your dizzy bloodless state you just look between her and Karlach's open tent and scoff.

"Uh, pot? Meet kettle." You blurt, then stumble into bed and pass out. it's giving the scene from ratatouille where Remy accidently makes Lenguini act like a total dick to Colette. you won't remember it until half way through the next day and you will never live down the awkwardness. Astaion finds out and laughs so loud it scares the birds out of a near by tree. he will also never let you live it down.

[hyperactivewhore]

I despise both Renesmee Cullen's and Hope Mikaelson's existences. Both characters are plot holes and shouldn't exist.

Renesmee Carlie Cullen is the daughter of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. She's half-human and half-vampire, and in Twilight, it was explained that only male vampires can have children with female humans. But that doesn't make any sense because vampires in Twilight don't have any blood in their bodies. Then, Stephanie Meyer explained that the venom that is in their bodies works similarly to the bodily fluids that are in humans. But if that was the case, then Bella shouldn't have gotten pregnant. She should have become a vampire after having sex with Edward. Renesmee is called 'half mortal and half immortal' by Aro, but how can a person be half mortal and half immortal? She's either mortal or immortal. She can't be both. Does she age, or does she not? Can she live forever, or does she have the lifespan of a human?

Now, onto Hope.

Hope Andrea Mikaelson is the daughter of Klaus Mikaelson and Hayley Marshall-Kenner. She's a werewolf, vampire, witch tribrid. In the pilot episode of The Originals, it was explained that since Klaus was born a werewolf and became a vampire because of magic and not by drinking the blood of another vampire and dying with that vampire's blood in his system, he was able to conceive. Vampires in The Vampire Diaries are infertile and can not have children, and while Klaus is the world's first werewolf-vampire hybrid, he's still part vampire. He shouldn't have been able to have a child, which was confirmed in Legacies. The only reason Hope exists is because Malivore. So, if Malivore never existed, Hope would have never existed. She wasn't born because her father was created differently from traditional vampires, but because it is her destiny to defeat a mud monster.

Both characters are great (more so Hope because she was given her own show, and I grew to like her over Legacies' 4 season run. Renesmee was kinda there. Her CGI in the movies creeped me out, and she absolutely did nothing in the book), but their existence goes against the canons of their respective movies/books and show.

It's funny because both are created as plot devices to Bella and Klaus and they're meant to be the magical powerful baby of their universe, but their existence alone just makes it look ridiculous by breaking every single canon law.

As you said, Renaissance came out of nowhere. She was soo incredibly intelligent from the very first moment her parents made her, but apparently not smart enough to control her own strength seeing she broke several Bella's bones (like honestly, what the hell) and this demon spawn craved human blood for absolutely no logical reason other than Edward being a vampire. Ratatouille also could not be seen in the ultrasound or any other thing: she had a impenetrable amniotic sac because yes, exactly, her daddy is a vampire!

Honestly, I kinda feel bad for Ravioli. I've never finished reading Breaking Dawn (and I won't), it was such a corny book and I could only bring myself to the third part, where Bella spends time with baby Rasputin but I've heard interesting things to how the Cullen rise this sim. Apparently, Bella and Edward couldn't care less about their daughter, because as always they were more obssesed with each other and Rosalie did all the parenting, because the love birds couldn't be distracted with their CGI spawn. If I'm correct, Edward even called Bella more beautiful than Rim Job right in her face and instead of being mad, because their kid was right there, Isabella was just like "gosh edward, ily sm 😘😜😍"

Parents of the year.

Stephenie Meyer didn't care about Bella and Edward being parents: she just wanted the aesthetic that came with it, and she pulled the reasons of the human-vampire pregnancy out of her ass.

Actually, when I was in my twilight phase, I read a fanfic where Bella got pregnant, and the reason was a little more "coherent" than what Meyer gave: Having died so young, Edward's body "froze" his sperm and because he had remained a virgin for over a hundred years (lmao), he was able to get Bella, the first and only woman he slept with, pregnant. It's still shitty, and bad, but if they wanted them so badly to have a kid this was a better reason.

I just can't take Twilight books seriously. Apparently, there are no black vampires for a barely explained reason that is clearly racist (if I remember, the venom that vampires inject you during death just... removes your skin color), the mistreatment to the werewolves is just terrible, and there's Ratatunga too.

Now, moving to Hope Andrea Mikaelson, the white witch that is hated and loved in equal measures by the fandom. Oh my, this is gonna be interesting.

I have my moments with Hope, to be honest. Sometimes I completely adore her, and sometimes I just can't stand her. Her existence was completely pulled out of Pl*c's ass, who wanted to have her own version of Renameme so badly. Klaus shouldn't have even been able to procreate in the first place, because he was killed before Esther binded his werewolf side. Though vampires in tvd are more alive than dead, but that's a whole different thing. But clearly my point still remains.

I like Hope Mikaelson a lot more than Ragnarok Cullen, Summer Fontana/Danielle Russell and Mackenzie Foy are all really amazing and beautiful actresses who did great with the role they were given, but their characters completely broke canon. I like the tribrid more though because at least, she wasn't a fucking sim that aged five years in a week unlike Nestlé. The only way I could ever like Radioactive is by having her completely loathe her parents and family, especially because she was born in 2006 aka she's part of Gen Z.

Both characters shouldn't even exist in the first place, and Hope's existences is as much of a plothole as Riptide's. Renesmee gets more hate simply because of how she was in the womb and also because of how fast she grew, but they're both plotholes and shouldn't have been created no matter their popularity.

[martsonmars]

WHO OR WHAT IS JEREMY?

A list by the Carry On Discord Server.

the fox guy from AWTWB (no, he was Jeremey)

a random guy name to let Baz know Simon's into dudes, because he thought it would be too obvious to get a tattoo that says “I’m queer just FYI”

Simon's ex boyfriend

Baz's ex boyfriend

Simon's pet goat

the monkey tattoo

a homage to @stardustasincocaine's husband

Baz's name in this AU because Tyrannus Basilton was too weird

Lamb's fake identity (and it's actually Lamb on the cover, not Simon)

Lamb's actual first name

one of the NowNext vampires

Simon's beloved childhood pet

a fuck you to someone Simon hates whose name is Jeremy

a goat who frequently fucks shit up and causes Problems™️ and Simon flips it off regularly and misses it dearly

the person on the cover, and he tattooed his name on his finger so he doesn't forget it

Simon’s people eating plant

the password Simon always uses, named after the IT guy who always yelled at Simon about not having secure enough passwords

Simon's beloved childhood plushie

just a name Simon likes

Simon's bro, who is a fledgling tattoo artist and Simon let him just do whatever

Shepard's middle name

Shepard's first name but he lost it to a fairy and had to change it

a stray dog Simon took care of while in care homes

Baz's pet rat, Mordelia named it

Baz's dog (the one he killed)

the name he (Baz? Simon? Unclear) gave to the bird outside his window who woke him up at ass o'clock every morning

Simon's middle name, the Mage chose it

a celebrity crush

Simon's fake name he used to get tattoos when he was younger than he should

Simon and Baz's kid

a mnemonic device

the container of mystery leftovers from freshman year that has gained sentience in the back of the fridge

it's actually “Je Remy” because Simon loves Ratatouille

Jeremy Baines from Doctor Who

a reminder of when Simon got burned by the Jeremy Renner app

Tyrannus or Basilton was too long to tattoo so Simon's like I dunno... Jeremy

the fake name Baz gave Simon because they have rival flower businesses and he didn’t want Simon to know his true identity, a la Chaz; supported by the fact that Jaz is a variant of Jeremy

“Choose a name similar to yours.”

Baz: “I'm, uh, Jaz Bitch.”

Simon gets the tattoo and goes to Baz and Baz is like, “Who the fuck is Jeremy?”

“You.”

“Actually, it's short for Jerusalem,” because Baz's family absolutely would name a kid Jerusalem.

the head of the latest cult Simon has joined; every tattoo is in remembrance of a cult he escaped: he keeps saying “they remind me that I won't do THAT again” but...

the Mage's real name: he never told his real name to anyone so they just started calling him David

Niall's real name

Dev's middle name

Niall's surname

Simon just flips a lot of people the bird so he decided to name his middle finger and then he had the name tattooed on it.

Simon: “I’d like to introduce you to Jeremy.”

Anyone else: “Who tf is Jeremy?”

Simon: 🖕

drunk Simon when he's a teen in care:

Kid: “What tattoo do you want?”

S: “... Jeremy.”

Kid: “What?”

S: “You heard me.”

Simon's step dad

Simon's baby brother

Simon's evil twin

the Humdrum

@rainbowrowell's OC

doesn't actually exist

[brightness-jasnah]

Thoughts as I read SSP1 because no one will see this and I wanted a journal of live reactions:

SPOILERS AHEAD!!

strange colorful pigeons is such a funny twist on the rosharans calling every bird chicken :)

RATATOUILLE??

aether spores ! aether planet aether planet aether planettt

I wonder why Fort is just bigger than the regular person from this planet and if he has some worldhopper blood in him

the Dougs! such a funny collective noun. I keep wanting more on the backstories, like of the Doug once got so drunk she ended up as queen 

is dr. ulaam kandra? IS ULAAM A LIFELESS? LITERALLY WHOMST

Earregardless ULAAM

dragon in the crimson sea!

midnight essence? MIDNIGHT ESSENCE??

Good quote #1: “Worry has weight, and is an infinitely renewable resource. One might say worries are the only things you can make heavier simply by thinking about them.”

Good quote #2: “I follow the path of the gods themselves by delivering death indiscriminately. To do otherwise would presume I am greater than they.” - what a raw ass quote honestly

fort let her eat before everyone else!!! I cri :,)

hoid found his bulb rhyme :) 

dragonsteel :)

how did tress know about MARSH

how does dr ulaam’s healing salve work?

huck is so cute the little pirate man

would there have been 17 shards if hoid had decided to kill alongside the other 16?

how is ulaam getting heat into his hot water? is it a fabrial?

is huck Charlie 👀

the betrayal of huck goddamn ☹️

lol dick island

“arcane rune” aonic - tress is not the only person to call Aons “arcane runes”. marasi used the same verbiage. My headcanon is that world hoppers from Sel left indecipherable aons on both scadrial and this planet, and they’ve become the cosmere equivalent of unsolved mysteries

the sorceress has a laptop! and she is elantrian??? omg

hoid has been trying to become elantrian!

planet lumar! with many lu-prefix words! very fun linguistics

AHAHA SORCERESS WITH THE BULB RHYMES TOO! I love this running gag

tress takes the heroes journey! she changed!

THE RAT IS CHARLIE PWAHAHAHAHA

Bruh not the sorceress using light weaving on some weird reptile - that is one too many types of investiture 

riina!! we can see the aons used by hoid and riina in the art too - I wonder if that is decipherable

lol at the running slant rhyme gag

I really enjoyed reading this one :) I loved the voice with which it was written, and I really cannot wait for Dragonsteel

[wiptw]

Banjo-Tooie

Nintendo 64 - Rare Ltd. - 2000

                Okay so I swear I play games other than Nintendo 64/Nintendo games in general and I play games made after 2003 for sure, but I the worms in my head chant the games I want to rant about online and until I do as they say I can’t progress forward with anything else like some sort of Ratatouille situation.  Except instead of an adorable cartoon rat, it’s my own ADHD riddled brain

                So, video game culture is fun because you could be a dyed-in-the-wool Gamer™ like myself, spend decades of your life playing video games, keep up with whatever gaming rag is sold at the local news stand, and you’ll still be blindsided by the most out of pocket weird ass bullshit you’ve ever seen.  And I’m not talking about things that are considered culturally weird here in the states like the Katamari series or Cubivore, I’m talking about those weird rental store finds and obscure games that leave you wondering who could’ve thought up this one.  Like ‘Mr. Mosquito’, a game about harassing a Japanese family as a small flying insect until they all mentally break or ‘Hide and Sneak’, a Disney game developed by Capcom (Specifically Capcom Production Studio 3, makers of Clocktower 3 and several Resi games) for the Gamecube.

                Which means that little baby me in the Hollywood Video grabbing ‘Banjo-Tooie’ with the bright box art and bear/bird combo front and center could be forgiven for not knowing somehow that the game was a sequel to ‘Banjo-Kazooie’ despite the fact the box clearly states “The bear and bird are BACK!” on it in big violet letters.

                It's not even really subtle about it

Yes, I will spend three paragraphs of preamble and apologetics to say roughly that I didn’t play Game 1 first.  Banjo-Tooie, the sequel to Banjo-Kazooie, is a collect-a-thon platformer developed by British studio Rare about anthropomorphic bear Banjo and less Anthro bird Kazooie embarking on a journey to defeat Gruntilda after she’s saved by her sisters (neither of whom are the pink fairy one from Kazooie) and zombifies Jinjo royalty in an attempt to become more than just the grungiest skeleton of the 2000s.  Traversing the Isle O’ Hags and its eight main stages you’ll find a wide cast of characters new and old, levels distinctly unique from Kazooie, and new abilities that will further build upon the ones established in Kazooie

                That’s right, as anyone who has even tangentially heard of this game may already be aware of you start the game with every ability from Banjo-Kazooie unlocked.  One of the main features that gets brought up anytime this game is dissected in articles or video essays, but with good reason; as to this day it’s not exactly a common practice in the industry. Metroid, Zelda, many other franchises either contrive ways to deprive you of the gear you got in previous games or just plain pretended they don’t exist since these upgrades typically act as keys to puzzles.

Some powers let you slay fierce bosses, some let you play the game like it's Goldeneye, this one lets you do both.

                This is true for Banjo-Kazooie as well.  Getting the ability to fire eggs unlocks the ability to solve any challenge that requires eggs; likewise getting the ability to fly, run up steep slopes, or wear different types of shoes will solve puzzles with those required materials so how do you keep the game interesting? Easy, you just make more locks and keys.

                Really that just describes Tooie overall.  More moves which leads to more eggs, more spacious worlds with more sub-areas and more collectibles. It’s more refined than Kazooie sure, but it’s also much larger in ways that make me wonder how much space Kazooie takes up on a game cartridge vs Tooie given how radically different the games are.

More references! Rare hid references to many different properties throughout the game, like this Donkey Kong plushie!

                The larger size, however, doesn’t wholly work to the games benefit. The two most commonly brought up negatives for the game are the size of the levels and game world, and backtracking (exacerbated by the size of the game worlds). These are both valid criticisms, almost every level from Mayahem Temple to (especially) Grunty Industries has at least one jiggy that requires you to come back when you’ve unlocked a gate or earned a new power in a future stage. In the case of Grunty Industries, you need to even enter the level to hit a switch, then leave and come back through one of the game’s fast travels ‘Chuffy the Train’ to actually play the level.

                I can’t argue against either point really, the backtracking is inoffensive at best and infuriatingly tedious at worst and the stages all at least feel substantially larger than any stage in Kazooie, but that feel is why I don’t mind it too much.  Because in Kazooie, the smaller stages and Grunty’s Lair overall feel like a theme park; like I’m wandering through a more dangerous but still family friendly amusement park, a deranged witchy version of Disney world.

Despite having a literal theme park, the worlds of Banjo-Tooie feel like part of a large, actual world.

                In Kazooie, I don’t feel like I’m on an epic quest to free my sister from a witch obsessed with the beauty of someone worryingly young; I feel like I’m on a journey through Epcot. I’m wandering from point to point in a witch themed thoroughfare until I end up at Beach Zone or Christmas Zone or Halloween Zone, with each level wrapped around a central weenie (large prop usable as a landmark for orienting yourself).  The worlds of Tooie while no less cartoony are not only larger but interconnected through trains and tunnels except for Cloud Cuckooland; which itself is still connected by being the location for two different backtrack jiggies in the game.

                Worlds and the game overall also feel darker than Kazooie.  From the start exploring the destroyed remains of Spiral Mountain and Grunty’s old lair and all throughout the game events are tinged with more death and sour notes.  Even the very start of the game features Bottles the mole, your mentor in Kazooie, getting blasted and remaining a ghost throughout the game. Death is mentioned several times, you even get to murder a side character (don’t worry, it’s funny!) creating a more dour mood than the previous game, while not being so gloomy it becomes unenjoyable. After all, one of the levels is set in a wacky cloud world with giant garbage cans and jello buildings.

Rated E, because even if he talks he's still just a pile of coal.

                As annoying as those flaws are though, I feel that the benefits vastly outweigh even the worst levels. My least favorite world in the game is Terrydactyland as it’s overly large, empty for it’s size, and has some of the worst backtrack jiggies in the game; but the distaste I feel for this world is overwhelmed by my love for all the refinements Rare put into this game versus the previous one.  Best Note Score (BNS) is removed, with notes now being a grand total carried across all worlds.  Eggs, feathers, and notes are all in bundles now instead of being scattered individually; with eggs and feathers cycling through their different types (allowing you to just wait patiently for whatever you need instead of hunting for them).

                Sure things are bigger, but the controls are just as tight if not tighter than they were in Kazooie and the additions of Mumbo (the first games shaman) as a playable character for some parts and the transformations being in every level now thanks to Humba Wumba (It was 2000, it was a different time) the Native American shaman keep things feeling fresh.  The new moves bring on new challenges, and the inclusion of minigames (while sometimes overplayed) allowed the developers at Rare to have jiggies that were different and fresh (except kickball, fuck kickball).

Humba Wumba takes over the role of transformations from Mumbo Jumbo, while he transforms aspects of the game world instead.

                Overall, Banjo-Tooie was a gem.  It’s one of the few games I’ll replay on a semi-regular basis and one of the even fewer games I’ve 100%’d.  It’s a great platformer that didn’t try to copy Super Mario 64’s homework too closely, has plenty of charm, built upon the previous game’s foundation expertly, and offered so much new content compared to the previous game that I’m still baffled both games came out on the same 64-bit console. 

Every collectible collected, every world scene, at least one night where I forgot to exit the emulator before bed.

                It’s an evergreen platformer in my eyes, and with ports to the Xbox consoles it’s one of the few retro platformers you can still play easily to this day. Definitely no Tonic Trouble or Earthworm Jim 3D on Nintendo Switch Online. But unlike those games, if you haven’t played this and you have an interest in game design or level design you should at some point.

Overall Score: 10/10 Memorable Moment: Destroying Grunty once and for all after about six tries.

[brandonwayneb]

Brandon laughingstock america

Chicken Wiccan Wood Stock

Spec Tree Mighty

Emo Gothic Rainbow Cupid

Que Mod Sun Shine

BbLighted Teddy, Bees, and Birds

hmmm the moon and brew to?

Brandon Wayne Burdett

Spank My Spa War Water Ass Baby

Orange Juice

Beez, Birds, Batz, Brew Bridge

BBW, BWB Bugs Bunny Anvil

Anna Any Any

america anniversary

CAM, Smorgasbord

Mac Done Alts

Hiss Altar Worship ;)

Necromancy Elf Skin Bank Baby

Thousand sssssssands

Annie Annie

Wanna Play Charity In America? :)

Might Sight,

Smite,

Smeeeeeee Goal Smiles ;)

KaaaaaaaChinggggg gaaaaa waaay

Piggy Lantern Mcdonalds :)

Lets blame Soul Fire,

Charity Birchwood Cherrywood Chairs

Charity worker say HA HA

america mass necromancy dumps

Keep My advice,

Pretend to drive a Jeep directly through ur bosses forehead

Data Ratatouille

america dump electric rat cow fist elmo gluu

best be gluten free cunts

co co nuts virgin islands

america laughingstocks

chicken gay ken :)

[shesgonnachangetheworld]

whenever i think of the great mouse detective, i’m reminded of how it was originally called “basil of baker street” (like the books they were based off with the same name) and how marketing or whoever were like “ACTUALLY we’re gonna call it the great mouse detective instead for Appeal(tm)” and the people working on the movie were so annoyed that one of them made a bitchy fake press release about renaming disney movies with dumbed down titles

petty as hell, i love it

[floral-poisons]

twst cast & my favorite movies

not a secret. i love movies. i love love love love LOVE movies. and currently i’ve started compiling a whole ass list of my favorite movies of all time. still expanding but i thought it would be fun to assign some of my favorite movies to the twst cast and which ones would be their favorite. but yeah this is mostly a shitpost.

and yes the photo is from the craft. beautiful beautiful beautiful girls watch the craft. and are gay.

if anyone wants my full list then i will happily provide.

NRC STAFF

dire crowley

the craft by andrew fleming i hate to assign one of my favorite films of all time to crowley but it also fits so well. it’s a movie that leans on the more gothic side of things. lots of blacks and great fashion.

ashton vargas

bend it like beckham by gurinder chadha sports centric so definitely up ashton’s alley. yes it centers on a woc but he finds jess and juliette’s dedication to football absolutely amazing. he’s also most definitely rooting for jess to become as big as beckham.

mozus trein

frida by julie taymor mozus, honestly, would probably be into the really boring, academy award winning stuff. but he would be a sucker for biopics and i feel like he’s a bit of an art history nerd. so this is perfect.

divus crewel

crazy rich asians by jon m. chu divus would totally be into wealth porn. another one of his favorites would definitely be the great gatsby (2012) because of its wealth porn and set design. he’s into pretty designs and especially costume design and cra is full of it.

sam

hellraiser by clive barker sam definitely gives me the vibes of a horror movie fan and that he would, particularly, be into body horror to a certain extent. plus the concept surrounding hellraiser is fascinating.

DIASOMNIA

malleus draconia

el laberinto del fauno (pan’s labyrinth) by guillermo del toro fantasy is definitely malleus’s go to movie genre. he loves fantasy. and he certainly likes watching this movie because it’s such a good mix of suspense, fantasy, and horror. he’s also interested in seeing how other cultures see fantastical creatures too.

lilia vanrouge

alien by ridley scott honestly? probably nostalgia based. like lilia would remember seeing this movie in the theaters. it’s an amazing movie with amazing effects and he’s seen it so many times. it’s just good and it’s old. just like lilia.

silver

none he doesn’t watch movies.

sebek zigvolt

midsommar by ari aster it’s really just a morbid curiosity. like sebek found the color palette appealing and what he expected was...completely different to what he got. and he’s terrified but he cannot look away. it’s become his favorite film because of his morbid curiosity.

HEARTSLABYUL

riddle rosehearts

cruel intentions by roger kumble riddle is IN LOVE with the danger aspect of this movie. he understands what it’s like to be stuck in a stuffy environment, forced to be perfect and forced to perform 24/7. the danger, the drugs, the sex. it’s all so enticing to him and he’s completely drowning in the corruption of it all. and he also thinks the ending is bullshit.

trey clover

ratatouille by brad bird trey’s into cooking so naturally, this would be the perfect movie for him. he loves the aesthetic and loves that he can hear all the sounds of the kitchen while watching the movie. it’s cute. and it’s definitely a movie he showed riddle and riddle also fell in love with.

cater diamond

legally blonde by robert luketic there’s nothing much to say here. cater definitely can relate to elle woods and he channels her energy. he’s all into the fashion of the movie and he loves it. it’s such a good movie. and he’s unafraid of it too. definitely did an elle woods costume at one point.

ace trappola

grease by randal kleiser ace is secretly into musicals. like he’s embarrassed to admit it until you find his collection of musicals and grease is his favorite one. he definitely loves the greaser aesthetic and he’s definitely busting out his vocals in “hopelessly devoted to you.”

deuce spade

thirteen going on thirty by gary winick sweet, simple. cute, adorable. definitely gives deuce butterflies when he watches it. such a sweet love story and he can so relate to wanting to be someone different and having to figure himself out.

POMEFIORE

vil schoenheit

black swan by darren aronofsky vil would feel this movie deep within his soul. perfection? check. ambition? check. beautiful makeup and costuming? it’s all down his alley. plus he strikes me, oddly enough, as someone who enjoys horror and thriller (probably on the down low though).

rook hunt

the princess bride by rob reiner rook’s definitely into high fantasy and love stories. so this is literally the perfect movie for him. he’s definitely crying about how beautiful princess buttercup and westley are. i would also think he could see himself in westley to a certain extent.

epel felmier

shang-chi and the legend of the ten rings by destin daniel cretton it’s the most action heavy movie i have on my list of favorite movies and epel definitely gives off the vibes that he’s into comic book movies. he’s definitely at the theater for the spectacle rather than the plot.

SAVANACLAW

leona kingscholar

scream by wes craven meta horror that is also suspenseful with a bit of campiness. leona strikes to me as someone who definitely enjoys satire and meta movies. so scream (1996) is right up his alley.

ruggie bucchi

the people under the stairs by wes craven easily the most relatable film for ruggie on my list. it’s a horror movie that has intense social commentary about reagan era politics and urban housing and racist landlords. and the story essentially is eat the rich. right up his alley. it’s great to see the villains of the movie get what they had coming to them.

jack howl

she’s the man by andy fickman the only other sports related movie i have on my list honestly. yes jack most definitely finds plenty of the movie outdated but he’s all here for encouraging viola to pursue her passion for soccer. he understands what it’s like to feel that ambitious. plus he strikes me as someone who likes comedy.

OCTAVINELLE

azul ashengrotto

the social network by david fincher it’s a movie about a guy that builds an empire using coding. kind of sounds like something up azul’s lane. he’s definitely more into biopics and drama than any other kind of genre. he’s also most definitely providing commentary on what went wrong in each lawsuit and how to get away with it smoothly.

jade leech

none this man doesn’t watch movies.

floyd leech

the conjuring 2 by james wan listen, unlike me, floyd wouldn’t like this movie for its clever use of long takes. he would like this movie because of how batshit weird it is. like think about it. demons, hauntings. he would find this movie more of a comedy than a horror movie. like he’s definitely into horror but sees it as comedy more than horror.

SCARABIA

kalim al-asim

encanto by byron howard and jared bush i promise i don’t say this because it’s disney. i’m saying this because kalim is absolutely in love with the colors of the film. i would also argue that he relates to the family dynamics since he probably has seen the same dynamic play out in his own family (naturally since it’s big). he’s definitely magically gifted but the movie calls to his soul.

jamil viper

carrie by brian de palma i feel like jamil doesn’t watch movies. he’s more of a tv show person rather than a movie person. but carrie is one of those movies that everyone’s heard of and everyone acknowledges as like amazing because it is and everyone knows about. so it’s a safe fall back movie. jamil is also definitely giving off horror fan vibes too.

IGNIHYDE

idia shroud

the fifth element by jon besson idia strikes me as someone who would absolutely LOVE sci-fi. so of course this movie is perfect for that. it’s just the perfect movie to satiate all of his sci-fi cravings. plus it’s got a really engagin storyline.

[xbadgerbearx]

bird

word count: 1.6k

Can’t Sleep: [4] … [6]

Not too long later, Gaius Grieves revealed himself. Your little trio watched as Robert discreetly put a gun to his back and started talking. You weren't close enough to decipher what he said. Once he started moving your team got the cue to follow. However, everyone stopped in their tracks once soldiers were spotted.

"I thought Milton was supposed to be our lookout," you muttered as the soldiers started speaking Spanish to the patrons in the club.

As the soldiers got more aggressive in their search for Americans, Robert turned to Cleo.

"All right," Robert motioned to Grieves. "Take him out through the back, all right? Find my coordinates in the pad and meet me in half an hour," he ordered while handing Abner a gun.

"What?"

"Hey, did you hear what I said?"

"Yes, but-"

"Go."

Cleo hesitated before grabbing Grieves.

"Let's go."

As you were leading your small group to the back entrance, you heard Robert yell out, "Hey, calm down! There's no need to disturb everyone's night."

You could faintly hear Flag speak up as you found a door marked Solo Empleados.

"This way."

Unfortunately the door you opened was the dressing room for the dancers. You heard Abner say, "Oh, God," before a stumbling sound and a gun being handled. You briefly looked back to see Abner holding Grieves at gun pointing and ordering him to "Move it!"

Damn. That was a little hot.

Pushing your way through the dancers and out the door, you let out a small gasp at the soldier standing in front of you. Cleo, ever the quick thinker, used her device to have a rat crawl down his throat.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side."

You eventually made your way outside in an alley. Milton jogged over once he caught sight of you four.

"Your equipment manipulates animal behavior, clever," Grieves spoke out. "I'm working on something similar with humans."

"Be quiet, please."

"You are perceivably panicked. I'm guessing that you are not the alphas of this battalion."

"Do you want a dozen angry rodents crawling up your ass?" Cleo snapped.

"My answer might not be what you expect."

"Disgusting," you commented as Abner ushered Grieves to move.

You quickly made your way into the van. Milton took the driver's seat, Abner sat in the middle across from Grieves who still had a gun pointed at him, and you and Cleo took a seat in the back by Nanaue.

"Hello, friends!"

"Hi, yes, hello to you too, Nanaue," you said before pointing at Grieves. "Nom nom this man if I give the word."

"Okay!"

Cleo rummaged through DuBois bag before handing you the coordinate pad he spoke of earlier. Was that a picture of his daughter you saw? You couldn't get a good look since Cleo zipped up the bag. Coordinates in hand, you made your way back up the front to give Milton directions.

"Oh ho ho, what's this?" Grieves smuggly declared. You were too busy paying attention to the road to hear him.

"What's what?"

"I saw that little look you gave to your teammate."

"There was no look," Abner denied.

"Ah, but there was. How are you going to pretend you weren't just looking at their ass as they passed? You seem to have a school boy crush."

"Abner has a crush?" Cleo entered the conversation.

"No!"

Grieves laughed before answering Cleo. "You seem to have forgotten that I study people for a living, and I am very good at my job."

"Pet pet and Polky?" Nanaue piped up from the back.

"No! No Pet pet and Polky," Abner said with exasperation. However, upon looking at you and seeing how captivating you looked under the flashing lights of the street lamps, he followed it up with defeated, "Okay, maybe Pet pet and Polky."

"Dios mío!" Cleo exclaimed before she was hurriedly shushed. They both looked over to see if you heard.

"Okay, now take a right onto this street."

You did not.

"I'm happy for you, Abner."

"You seem to have forgotten you are on a mission. This isn't some little girl's slumber party."

Cleo slapped Grieves over the back of the head as Abner seemed to remember that he had a gun in his hand.

"Be quiet."

"Is- is that them?"

The team all looked at you as they looked out the window. Following your gaze, it landed on an upside down armored vehicle in a ditch.

"Of course it is, who else would be dumb enough," you sighed.

Milton slowly approached the area and parked the van. As soon as it stopped you jumped out to see if they were still there. Turns out you didn't have to wait long; the back door unlocked to reveal your three teammates scuffed but otherwise unharmed.

You wouldn't admit it but you felt relieved.

"All right," Robert grunted. "Let's go to Jotunheim."

"Nope. There's somethin' we gotta take care of first."

"What?"

Rick sighed out, "As much as it pains me to say, we gotta get Harley Quinn."

"Harley who?"

"Quinn. She was on Team 1 with me. Now that I know where she is, we gotta go get her."

"Fuck no."

"Come on, man." They made their way back into the van after you. "She's a valuable asset."

"I said no."

"Don't make me get Waller into this."

Robert thought for a moment. "Fuck, fine, alright. We'll go get 'er."

Everyone eventually got seated. This time you actually sat in a seat since you weren't planning on taking an impromptu nap—although that did sound nice. Flag filled Milton out on the details and directed him on where to go as you all got cozy. Robert and Chris were going at it again, Cleo was asleep, Nanaue was trying to get you to sit in his lap, and Abner was watching in amusement.

"No."

"Yes."

"I said no."

"Pet pet?"

"No, Nanaue."

Nanaue put on his best pout, "Please?"

You should not have turned around to look at him. Sighing, you stood up and made your way over to him.

"Hahaha!" He sounded like a giddy kid in a candy store. He gently picked you up and placed you on his lap. Immediately he started petting you again and hummed. Your legs were cramped and you felt like you were about to fall off his lap. Without saying anything, you sprawled your legs across Abner's lap. He just looked at you with a smile before adjusting himself to accommodate you. Resting his arms over your legs, he continued looking out the window.

"How fascinating."

"Hmm?" You looked at Grieves.

"You don't happen to also control animal behavior, do you?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

"Fair."

You heard a loud sigh from Chris. "Is this going to become a regular occurance?"

"What, you jealous? I'm calling it now, if we have another night during this mission I'm using him as my cuddle buddy."

"Whatever."

Although you said you wouldn't, you were almost asleep before Robert made the call for everyone to gear up. While everyone was rushing to get their gear on, you just yawned and leaned over to handcuff Grieves to a seat before making yourself at home on Nanaue again. You weren't exactly trained to fight with weapons, although you did grab a nearby combat knife to carry.

"You gotta be kiddin' me. You're gonna risk the entire mission for a mental defective dressed as a court jester."

"This is coming from a guy that wears a toilet seat on his head."

"We don't leave our own behind," Rick reminded.

"You're okay with this?"

"No, but I've been around Flag when he's got a rag in his mouth. Best not to tug it."

"Motherfucker!"

Just as everyone seemed almost ready, you hopped off Nanaue and gently nudged Cleo.

"Come on, gotta wake up."

"All right, let's go."

Everyone—besides Grieves—exited the vehicle before Flag announced his plan.

"All right, we'll enter through the third floor, go to the inner staircase, and then down to the cellar where they usually keep their detainees. Hopefully, Harley's still alive."

Still butthurt about what Robert said, Chris stubbornly muttered, "It's not a toilet seat, it's a beacon of freedom!"

Everyone got into position; Peacemaker somehow scaled a building to get a vantage point, Abner was down the street looking for traffic, Rick and Robert were beside one of the walls ready to climb to the third floor, you turned into a bird (much to the amazement of your team) so you could quickly enter the window Robert would open, and Nanaue—who forgot you turned into a bird—stared at you.

"Ratatouille, what do you got?"

"Third floor hallway's clear. Abner?"

"There doesn't seem to be any incoming traffic."

"Bird."

"Nanaue, that's Mimic you meathead- and stay off the comm!"

"Colonel, I got a clean shot on the only one in the office. Just give the word."

"Fire on three, two..."

"What're you guys doing?"

Rick looked at Harley, then DuBois, then back to Harley. "I... you- we're here to save you."

"You were gonna... save me?" Harley visibly looked touched.

"It was a really good plan, too."

"Well I can go back inside and you can still do it."

"That's patronizing," Bloodsport commented.

You saw Harley drag a big stick thing over to Flag and hug him.

"Uh, what's with the javelin?"

"I'm waiting for God to tell me."

"Jesus Christ..."

"Yeah, or Him. Or any of them, really."

You and Nanaue watched as Harley and Bloodsport had an awkward introduction.

"Never mind everyone, Harley is secure."

"What?"

"Meet me in the van so we can leave as quickly as possible."

Sighing, you morphed back into your original form. Nanaue made an audible gasp as he saw you sitting on the railing.

"Pet pet?

"Yes, Nanaue, it's me, Pet pet."

King Shark laughed as he started petting you immediately. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you swatted his hand away and motioned for him to follow you.

[ryttu3k]

Vampire: the Masquerade x His Dark Materials, part 4! This one went off into a different direction, where vampires still have their daemons. Most of the chat revolved around LaCroix and the Bloodlines cast and I wasn’t the main contributor for that so I’ll leave it to them if they want to post, but here are some notes on my own blorbos du jour, and the world in general!

For earlier speculation: initial post, daemon becoming the Beast version.

Bloodlines: LaCroix has The Fanciest Mouse named Amelie and I would die for her. Fortitude 5, you try and hurt the mousey and it's like trying to attack a rock. Lots of side-eyeing because. That's not a very Ventrue daemon, a mouse, is it?

Diablerie is Terrible you have to eat the goddamn daemon. Having a mouse is. Vulnerable. Abusive or controlling sires will often grab on to your daemon to control you, or to teach you control. Rude-ass sire having someone grab your daemon while they go to town on you with a sword. Can you concentrate while your soul is in someone else's hands? Better learn quick!

Lose your daemon? Time for wight! You just lost your soul!

Nines has a dog, probably a terrier / pittie mutt. Damsel has a kestrel, small but still very much a bird of prey.

Nosferatu daemons are either already comfortable with underground and dark spaces, or, uh, adjust very quickly. Odd combination of ones considered 'vermin' (rats and spiders are popular) versus beautiful and exotic ones (Cleopatras, natch).

Everyone assumes that Riga is Lettow's daemon. She's not, actually, she's still his famalus! His daemon is an armadillo. (She hangs out on his head under his hat. May or may not be a Ratatouille situation.)

Julian has a seagull and absolutely no one is surprised.

On to my blorbos! Beckett has a big ol’ she-wolf. Grizzled and protective. Anatole has a flamingo. Yes, there are flamingos in France. A good indicator of Anatole’s mental state is seeing how colourful and well-groomed his daemon is; she gets help from Beckett’s wolf (having had to bonk her on the head a few times with her beak when the pup would initially get dog slobber all over her). Lucita has an exceedingly sleek black cat. Looks dangerous and regal. In her early days travelling with Anatole, he would just curl up on the back of Anatole’s flamingo and watch the world go by. Fatima has an Aidi dog, and you know what they say about cats and dogs!

Myca has a raven who settled when then-thirteen-year-old Myca was told they were a mage. They didn't know everything their life would hold, just that it was going to be something bigger than they had ever conceptualised.

Gender, what gender. “Hey, why isn’t your daemon a girl?” “I don’t know it’s still like a millennium before I’ll learn about the concept of nonbinary.”

Ilias has a robin! Small and cute, intelligent, friendly and sociable, that lovely shock of orangey-red. Looks adorably bizarre snuggling up to Myca's raven. When he 'dies' and is absorbed by the Eldest, his daemon is absorbed too; when he's recreated, she is as well, this time as an American robin. Same soul, but made of different stuff now, in a very different world.

The Eldest's daemon is, uh, incomprehensible. How did fungi get in there? Best not to ask. Where does the Eldest end and their daemon begin? We just don't know!

The Dracon's daemon never settled! He's the Metamorphosist, you think he's going to be confined to just one form? Don’t talk about his identity issues. Does have a preference for birds, especially owls, but otherwise, his daemon is as fluid as he is.

There are paintings and frescos and mosaics of the Trinity all through Constantinople. Michael is holding on to the Dracon's and Antonius' daemons in a lot of them. True love, clearly. (This is sarcasm.)

All three Trinity members have birds of prey, actually! Michael and Antonius both have eagles (Antonius has a very Roman, very Ventrue golden eagle, Michael has a white-tailed eagle). The Dracon’s ‘official’ daemon, the one he’s seen in public with, is an eagle owl, largely to try and match up; privately she shifts pretty frequently.

Symeon also has a golden eagle. No one is remotely surprised, and Symeon took it as a good sign that he was meant to be Embraced by Antonius from the outset. Even when he wasn’t... well, it’s still a sign that even if he’s of Draconian blood now, his soul is still Ventrue.

Once, in 1204, Symeon had to put his hands on Myca’s daemon to fleshcraft them into an owl. Had to keep up the deception, of course. Both were sent to Michael, and when Michael reached out to stroke the ‘owl’, they shivered and puffed up in terror, because while Myca may have thought they were the Dracon, their soul still knew this was Wrong.

Myca's daemon is pretty terrified of Symeon's, especially after 1204 but still with some wariness before. Even when Myca is saying, "Don't be paranoid, he's never mistreated us, we love and trust him", their daemon just has... that little thought in the back of their head, "But what if..."

When the whole Dracon thing... happens to Myca, their daemons end up merging too. Mostly appears as Sascha's raven, but often with two sets of wings, two pairs of eyes, et cetera. Disconcerting as hell. Biblically-accurate corvidae. Sometimes it's hard to notice until you realise that there are extra eyes blinking through their feathers, or they spread their wings and there's another pair of snowy white ones underneath.

Just as a point of interest. Groups of ravens sometimes mob singular owls; owls sometimes predate on ravens.

'Angel of Caine' nickname pretty understandable, in that case. It's generally seen as a demonstration of Vicissitude, not "there's a methuselah fused to your soul."

Sascha learns not to touch their daemon too much. Because, well, there's someone else's in there too and that's a little too much intimacy, thank you. Touch-starved daemon. They’re right there but just - they can't bring themself to touch them because what about the other daemon.

The Dracon is canonically described as self-destructive and bitter, his daemon probably is similar. Both daemons seeking out others for physical contact as a form of punishing themselves/the other daemon/Sascha. The Dracon being yeeted means Sascha not only has to relearn who they are, but what their relationship with their daemon is, because they've conditioned themself not to touch them, ever.

Once, in 1550, ‘Myca’ and their ‘raven’ paid a visit to Symeon. It didn’t take him long to realise that something was very wrong. And then he looked over to their daemon, saw their raven spread their wings, and beneath them were a very familiar pair of owl wings...

Beckett may have seen the whole drama with the Dracon getting evicted, but seeing Sascha’s raven with no extra wings or eyes or odd colouration was so odd. He realises his feelings a bit quicker this time, although in fairness, his wolf daemon curling protectively around Sascha’s raven was a bit of a dead giveaway.

When Sascha and Ilias reunite, both are pretty wary at first. Sascha’s just gone through nearly eight centuries of hell and is trying to work out who they are now, and Ilias just got resurrected as a methuselah. Just... staring at each other. And then Ilias’ robin spots Sascha’s raven and goes !! and immediately cuddles up and it’s just like old times again, because after everything that’s happened, their souls still know each other.

[sometimes-sleeby-octopus]

Ideas/Aus for Swatchton fic/drawing or whatever

Excuse my lingo, I swear more when I’m being chaotic

And yes, I’m being chaotic C:

Some things were thought up on the spot because my head is full of good shit and Just Shit and also Random Ass shit

I want to make these ideas but like, I gotta get the motivation first so I’ll just share what they are for now because it’s fun

I’m kinning Jevil’s chaos rn LMAO

Casual au

- So like they live in a world like ours

- But better

- Haha escapism

- Jevil and seam there with lancer and ralsei and Roulx and my other favs too

- Bc I like them most

- No other reason

- No fancy suits

- T-shirts and all that

- No complex

- Easy (or rather easier) to draw!!! Bc my motivation is lacking all the time!!!

Dog AU

- Basically everyone’s a furry but they have to be part dog because I said so

- SWATCH IS A DOG BIRD

- BC I DO WHAT I WANT

- SPAMTON IS TOO

- woodpecker dog…

- What bird is swatch???

- Crow???

- Doesn’t matter still Dog Bird

- Okay but PET SETTING

- A dog’s haven with other assorted shit type of deal

- Not to be confused with pet sitting

- BUT THAT IS AN OPTION

- Okay maybe not all part dogs

- But the majority will be

- Because I said so

- Again

- Swatch and Spamton? Still bird dogs

“Comfy Ratatouille Restaurant Looking Ass” Au (Or CRRLA au for short lol)

- They run a restaurant together

- Not in dark world, but “Earth but Better” world (reference the casual au for setting)

- That’s it

- JUST KIDDING

- HAHA, YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE

- I NEVER AM

- Domestic and fluffy

- Restaurant/Cafe woohoo

- Color Cafe is a cool name but the name would not be that

- Maybe it would be Palette Co

- Cause’ a bunch of swatches make a palette and spamton is a buisness dude

- They are Chaotic Duo so they will switch their jobs like once a week

- They work with the swatchlings who enjoy the chaos of job switching

- YO WHAT IF I DID LIKE SPECIFIC SWATCHLINGS WITH NAMES AND STUFF

- The job switching becomes a gimmick of sorts

- Will the owners deliver your food? Will they entertain? Will they cook the food?

- Nobody knows

- It’s fun *insert chaotically happy smiley face*

- But swatch in a chef outfit- they’d be so cute dnshdhdsndf-🥺💕

- Spamton agree

- Okay now I’m done, thank you for listening <3

[randompurplepanthergorl]

Sharing my Bing and Larry headcanons cause A: I'm currently very attached to these characters out of the fucking blue and B: Why tf not

Not doing these in a specific order they are just there-

-

.Bing is non-binary, and they go by he/him and they/them

.Larry is a huge transmasc dude, yeah he's gone through all the surgeries and shit so you can't tell he was born a girl unless he DIRECTLY tells you or you look at his past photos, he was actually pretty large for a girl and Bing was the one who paid for all his surgerys

.Bing is Pansexual and Larry is Omnisexual and Demisexual

.Their heights are:

(Don't ask why I used Green and Yellow for their modals, also this is the height chart I used if you want it btw!)

.I have the same nationality headcanon for Larry that @/binbunbaka does, he's Melanesian (like Larry has dark skin and natural blond hair)

.Bing's posture is as straight as he is, which means he's always slouching or bending over backwards and he refuses to fix it

.Bing has literal RATS in his hair, like ACTUAL rats, Disney Ratatouille rats, Bruno from Encanto animal buddies rats, and he takes care of them like pets and names them

.Larry's voice is deeper than it is in canon, his canon voice is too high to sit correctly with me and my headcanon take on him so I just headcanon him with a deeper voice, same accent, same voice patterns, etc. it's just, deeper

.Bing's a rich dude actually, Larry is his bodyguard, Bing just hired Larry to be his bodyguard cause he was lonely and he knew him since kindergarten, and they eventually fell in love and got married :)

.Larry is a Harpy, he has two forms, his human form and his true form (for true form he turns into a biblically accurate Harpy not a giant bird, the accurate ones are cool bitch-) also his powers KINDA show in his human form, like he'll heal faster but not batshit fast/from lethal stuff unless burns in human form but in true form you straight up can't kill him unless burning him, ya know, like that, he can also do IRL Skyrim shouts in human form because in Harpy Form he can do a supersonic screech

.Bings a human unlike Larry, he's chaotic af he does not need a mythical form/hj That and I'm a huge sucker for "Normal ass human who has a Monster/Mythical/Non-Human friend/lover/partner/spouse (in Bing and Larry's case in my HC's, spouse)" troupe for some reason

.Larry thinks Bing doesn't know he's not human but nah, Bing knows, it's actually one of the reasons he married him/hj He just left Larry in he dark about his knowledge

.Larry constantly has to duck to get through the doorways, that's in his human form- If he's in his Harpy form and currently can't change back to the human one, you're gonna need a new doorway to get him through-

.Larry was born a Harpy, his parents where cursed to be Harpy's (They pissed off a witch or somth I haVEN'T WORKED OUT THE DETAILS YET-) so Larry ended up being a naturally born one-

.Larry hides the fact that he's a Harpy not because he fears being hunted- Oh fuck no he could hunt whatevers hunting him with that form- Just look at a description of his transformed form I did for a short AU fan EW ep rewrite I did (You can read here (https://archiveofourown.org/works/38274643 (Would have put a hyperlink instead but Tumblr's being an asshat)) since I finished it before I actually posted this cause this is a screenshot from writing mode not view mode :p)

(But yeah now you also know what his Harpy form looks like, kinda)

He hides it because it tends to scare people, he doesn't actually mean harm unless it's necessary, or he's in a VERY bad mood though like he was in the fic

.Larry can change forms at will he just choses to only change if enraged or its necessary for battle, plus it's hard for him to change back unless he's 100% calm and focused which is hard to keep him at in Harpy form- Cause in that form he's constantly fearing he might actually accidently hurt someone he doesn't want too

.Larry can't speak in Harpy form, I mean he PROBABLY Could? But it would take focus, It'd strain the hell out of his vocal-chords and it sounds disoriented and horrifying in the form so he just doesn't bother with it

.Larry wears whore-boots, the thigh-high ones, we wears them because he was once dared to wear them for a day by Toni (clone OC), Mark and Matt, and he ended up liking them so now he wears them on the daily but hides them with his pants because he doesn't want anyone knowing he joined the whore-squad, the heels are actually also knifes and he seriously slays in them, both fashion-wise and LITTERALLY-

.Bing randomly sends random people the H a m p t e r meme

.When listening to "We Don't Talk About Bruno" from Encanto, or watching the movie and the song comes on Bing will yell out "R A T" or "R A T S" at the most random moments in the song like an example is:

Song: Seven foot-

Bing: rAT

Song: Rats along his-

Bing: RATS

Song: When he calls your-

Bing: rats

Song: It all fades to-

Bing: Rats

Song: Yeah he sees your-

Bing: RAts

Song: And feasts on your-

Bing: RATS

Song: We don't talk about-

Bing: RATS

Song: We don't talk about-

Bing: R A T S

Larry:

.After the events of Spares, Bing and Larry adopted all of the reject clones, Blue-Matt, Tora and Fera (Twin feminine Tom clones) and Toni/Tobi (Trigger Happy Tord clone) Even though Toni and Blue-Matt live with the main crew, they call them Dad (Larry) and Father (Bing)

.Bing "adopted" all the rats in his hair and keeps them as pets, he currently has ten of them

.Bing also has one pet Monkey, it's named Gorge

-

Uuuuuuhhhhh I think thats it?

[thelostneedle]

Here’s some quotes I wrote down from the final Unus Annus livestream

What a profound man... the man who shot out the load that contained tony stark - Mark

Literally don't fullscreen this, his nudes are all over... ooooh my god! - Mark

(Talking about the channel ending on friday the 13th) WEEEEEE math'd it out!! I did most of it, the math wiz that I am! - Eef

Sound guy, if you wanna let that ticking carry throughout feel free so the viewers can feel the IMPENDING DOOM - Mark

*Mark in video bumping his head against a dildo* Man... this is my favourite part - Mark

*Dildo on the drill* Gets ya every time - me (mark and ethan both died at this part lol)

Look. My luscious locks are looking good today - Mark

How did you swallow that?? - Ethan I told you! Like a baby bird! *Throws head back* - Mark (I don’t remember at all what they were talking about here lol)

Pure raw creative energy (...) What are you laughing about? - Mark PURE RAW CREATIVE ENERGY *LMAO* - Ethan

How many people are here? - Mark/Ethan I don't know! - Amy It's probably gone down, 'cause they're all cowards *lmao* - Ethan

And when you give it a sniff (the merch). Just like in ratatouille! You'll get sent back to a time when unus annus was alive - Ethan

I'M NOT A MASOCHIST!! I'M NOT A MASOCHIST - Mark

*Every other minute* Get back to the memes - Mark and/or Ethan

I caught a flash of something in the corner *ethan in the blood bath pops up* oh yeah, there it is - Mark

BIT OVER. CALL THE BIT *cut to mark trying to lick his microphone* - Mark

I'm glad I have this moment to talk about me not being a masochist 'cause no one is here to interrupt me - Mark when Ethan left for some unknown reason

*Mark gets sentimental every other second and Frank the sound guy desperately tries to keep up and start the "sad music"*

Sometimes I'm an idiot and I start to match *starts laughing* your intelligence *lmao* - Mark

Uncle Jeb?? - EEF (from the escape room video)

It's like I'm fondling the balls of time - Mark/Ethan Father time's sagging scrotum - Mark

*The clock on the screen is suddenly gone* *Sudden silence* What did you do?? - Mark Oh I unplugged it - Ethan oH yOu UnPlUgGeD iT - Mark *Great angle of Ethan's ass* Wait go back to that ass angle - Amy

Who put the HOLE in the ground?? - Grandpa Nestor (from the geriatric simulator video)

*mark rants about a billboard for a heist with markiplier in a highlight reel* wait, wait pause *LMAO* *video is paused on a real fucked image of Eef*

"THE BUG WATCH" WAIT pause... *marks slowly exiting frame*

WOW, I have a snake in my mouth! - Ethan (pink trombone, Ethan thinks his tongue looks weird)

You've got a lot of caffeine video defenders online - Amy Eeeh, fuck you. - Ethan (in response to when they were about to delete the caffeine video early)

This is our last chance to prove to the world that we're not just two grown men drinking each other's piss - Ethan

Every frame a dick - Mark

Dear attacks? - Ethan What do you call them?? - Mark Wait hold on, pause. Is that a real fact?? - Ethan

Look how chungus I am! I love it!! - Mark (looking at fanart of them as muppets)

Look Mark, he's spending his last moments in pain and you're not! - Amy

Awwww that's really nice... *teary eyed* THE GONGOOZLER - Ethan (in response to some really sweet fanart followed by fanart of gongoozler)

Oooooh wow... - Ethan (laying in the coffin, with the door shut)

I hope I feel this happy on the day that I die - Mark

[nep2unes]

hii i wanna participate in your recent game if that's okay <33 my name is Zahra and pronouns are she/them a random fact about me might be that when i was younger i had a pet bird i named him ratatouille bc i loved that movie when i was a kid 💀💀

if i am too late or sth then it's okay to ignore 😭 wish u a good day/night ✨💕

channeled song:

the only exception - paramore

your next relationship’s dynamic:

literally the first thing that i sensed was how fucking playful y'all are gonna be with each other. i was laughing cause i just felt like y’all both are gonna try each other so bad and on purpose too; just for the fun of it. almost like a old married couple. i think this is cause you both wanna be right all the time and so y’all are just gonna challenge each other. however, y'all both are gonna be so whipped with each other that there’s gonna be times where your partner is gonna let you “win” and times where you’ll let them “win” as well (even though i see your partner doing this more than you, you stubborn ass mfer LMAO). the type of mfers that have petty ass arguments where y'all both mock each other and then make out like 5 mins later. i sense a lot of fun times too! like very adventurous shit (long car rides at 2 am with some good food and music blasting type of vibes). besides all that playfulness, i do see that it will be a very serious relationship as well. the lovers, four of wands, and two of cups came out; this is damn near “the one” babe. like these are exceptionally good cards to have come out for a love reading. it signifies bliss, joy, harmony, balance, etc. you both will be able to communicate with each other and work through y’alls shit when the time comes to be serious or there’s a legitimate issue. i’m hearing “solace” you guys will definitely be best friends AND lovers. you both will be there for one another at your hardest times and will just know how to comfort the other. true love at its core man! don’t let this one go!

kinda like:

monica and chandler from friends

[perfecttimeseleven]

Perfect Times Eleven Ep. 1 TRANSCRIPT

ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

REMINGTON

Goddamn it! You really think tying a tie wouldn’t be this hard.

VOICE FROM PHONE

And that, my friends, is how you tie a tie!

REMINGTON

(overlapping)

No! No it’s not! Fuck you!

VOICE FROM PHONE

Hope you found this video helpful. Hit up that “like” button  below and don’t forget to subscribe to my channel for more pro bro tips from Menswear Mike! Hang tie-ght. Haha, get it? Just a little joke for ya on this fine Menswear Mike Monday morning.

(REMINGTON grabs her phone and turns the video off.)

REMINGTON

Shit. Ah.. maybe if... nope. That’s worse. Is that a zit? God hates me.

(exhales)

My name is Remington Long and I am here because I hear eleven voices in my head and a teacup chihuahua tried to claw my eye out — no. That’s too on the nose.

(pauses)

My name is Remington Long! How are you? I’m perfectly sane! Fuck. Uh...yeah, no. I’m already talking to a mirror. Who’s gonna believe that? Okay. My name is Remington Long, and oh, heavenly therapist, please bestow the blesséd knowledge upon me so I can maybe, maaaaybe have a shot at normal life. Except, y’know, my life’s already fine, except sometimes animals attack me, I guess, like the chihuahua from yesterday. So I actually don’t know why the hell my parents are paying you. But yes! My name is Remington Long and I’m here for a heaping helping of therapy! Fuck yeah! Ugh.

(1. Therapy Upstate.)

REMINGTON

THERAPY. THERAPY UPSTATE.

IT’S UNFAIR TO ME. Here, I’ll give it to ya straight —

WELL, KIDS, YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS THINK YOU’RE REALLY PSYCHO

WHEN YOU’RE FORCED TO HIKE OVER TO DELAWARE COUNTY FOR

THERAPY UPSTATE.

I’VE LIVED FOR EIGHTEEN YEARS LIKE THIS! I THINK I’VE GOT THE HANG OF IT BY NOW.

DON’T NEED SOME PRETENTIOUS PRICK’S USELESS SHIT ABOUT MEDITATION OR HOW

TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS WILL MAKE EVERYTHING SO, SO MUCH BETTER!

PLUS, HE’LL PROBABLY BE OLD AND WEAR ROUND GLASSES AND A TARTAN SWEATER.

Ugh, I can see it already, HE’LL SAY

”TELL ME ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS” AND I’LL BE LIKE ”ERR, I GOT NONE!”

AND THEN WE’LL JUST SIT, STARE AT EACH OTHER FOR A BIT

IN SILENCE TILL THE SESSION IS DONE.

Plot twist! WE’LL. FALL IN LOVE

HE’LL TREAT ME WELL BUT I’LL GET HIM FIRED

FOR HAVING RELATIONS WITH A MINOR —

Wait. No. I’m eighteen. I’m an adult. Shit.

A WHOLE ASS ADULT BEING MADE TO GO TO

THERAPY. THERAPY UPSTATE.

WHERE THERE’S TONS OF TREES AND ALL THE STORES CLOSE AFTER EIGHT.

I’M JUST CONSIDERING EVERY POSSIBLE SCENARIO IN AN ATTEMPT TO PREPARE ME,

SO I WON’T HAVE TO GO TO MORE THERAPY UPSTATE.

SO I’VE GOT VOICES IN MY HEAD! WELL, I CAN STILL HAPPILY EXIST!

I CAN’T EVEN HEAR THEM IF I KEEP THIS TACKY BRACELET ON MY WRIST.

AND EVEN WHEN I DO, THEY JUST...REPEAT ELEVEN RANDOM WORDS.

(REMINGTON unclasps her bracelet and it drops to the ground.)

REMINGTON’S VOICES

(jumbled and overlapping)

HARVEST, OCEAN, CREATE, CHANGE, FIGHT, ART, FAMILY, FREEDOM, JOYCE, TRADITION, BIRDS

REMINGTON

See? THEY AREN’T THAT ANNOYING AND THEY’RE QUITE EASY TO IGNORE

JUST LIKE REAL-LIFE PEOPLE THAT TO ME, KINDA BORE.

WHAT WOULD THIS THERAPIST KNOW THAT I DON’T ALREADY

ABOUT WHAT I’VE DEALT WITH MY ENTIRE LIFE? OH, YES, I’M FEELING PETTY ABOUT

THERAPY! THERAPY UPSTATE.

THEY SAY THIS IS NOT UP FOR DEBATE

BUT I’M AN INDEPENDENT MAN WHO DON’T NEED NO MAN

TO SHARE ALL MY CARES WITH AT THERAPY UPSTATE.

I KNOW I’M A BURDEN! I DON’T WANNA BECOME MORE OF ONE!

STOP THROWING MONEY AT THIS! IT WILL NOT GO AWAY.

SAVE THOSE FUNDS FOR MY COLLEGE, OR, BETTER YET, ACKNOWLEDGE

THAT I WON’T GO TO COLLEGE, AND THAT IS OKAY!

I CAN BE NORMAL! I’LL DO FINE! I PROMISE! I PROMISE! I PROMISE.

THERAPY. THERAPY UPSTATE.

YOUR PARENTS SEE YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOURSELF...HOW GREAT.

IT’S A MARK ON THE CALENDAR TO CONFIRM THEY’VE RAISED

A DISAPPOINTMENT, A HOPELESS, CRAZED

FREAK WHO THEY HAVE TO CODDLE, WHO AIN’T GOING ANYWHERE AT THIS RATE!

OH, PLEASE HAVE SOME HOPE IN ME!

I DON’T NEED HELP TO COPE, YOU SEE!

DON’T WRITE SOMETHING FRIGHTFUL

ON MY PERMANENT RECORD OR I’LL NEVER GET A JOB I DON’T HATE!

OH, PLEASE, DON’T SEND ME TO THERAPY UPSTATE!

ACT ONE

SCENE TWO

DR. MORELLO

Yes, uh, hello, Remington.

DAISY

Remington? That’s fucking wack! Remy, like the rat!

DR. MORELLO

Daisy. Language!

REMINGTON

Uh, hi.

DAISY

I’m Daisy, Ratatouille!

DR. MORELLO

My name is Dr. Morello.

REMINGTON

Yeah, uh, my parents told me about you.

DR. MORELLO

Good. This wasn’t what you expected, was it, dear?

REMINGTON

Oh. Uh, no. Don’t get me wrong, this is a very nice house, but yeah. Like I was expecting some really clinical looking...space? You are also not what I expected, but, uh, in a good way! This...is also...such a warm color scheme I’d never have imagined...

(catches herself going off topic)

It is very nice to meet you, Dr. Morello! How can you help with the, uh, voices in my head thing?

(pauses)

Shit. Sorry. I mean, shit, oh sh-...sorry. Shouldn’t have cursed. I didn’t mean like you’re seeking me out to help me, I’m the one seeking your help —

DAISY

You’re making it worse, nerd.

REMINGTON

Yeah, also there’s, uh, Daisy? Um, there’s children here. Didn’t expect that. Who? Why? Uh, who’s the other one?

DR. MORELLO

Ohh! Yes —

REMINGTON

Yes, there’s children here.

DR. MORELLO

Yes, yes. Remington, I would like you to meet my other patients. Come over here! Be polite!

JAY

Ugh.

DAISY

I said hi to her already!

JAY

Hi, I guess.

REMINGTON

Okay, I can respect a girl with a well-defined aesthetic —

JAY

Then why are you dressed like a sad lawyer?

DR. MORELLO

Kids, this is Remington’s first appointment, and you both know what that means.

DAISY

(bored)

I’ll get the fear-puke bucket.

REMINGTON

The what?

DAISY

Wait. Hold the phone. Hold on. Remington Long...Are you the kid who got attacked by the...

JAY

Oh, wait, yeah! Shiiiiiit!

(DAISY and JAY try to contain their laughter.)

DAISY

...teacup chihuahua?

(JAY doubles down in laughter.)

REMINGTON

(unamused)

Yeah. Nice to meet you.

DR. MORELLO

Kids, be nice. Okay, now this is Jay.

(DAISY and JAY calm down.)

REMINGTON

Who’s already mocked me twice. Good start. Hello.

JAY

(clears throat a little)

Hey —

DR. MORELLO

(interrupting)

Now that that’s out of the way —

DAISY

(exiting)

Fear-puke bucket time!

REMINGTON

Okay, what does that mean?

DR. MORELLO

(ignoring her)

— let’s get down to business. Now — That bracelet on your wrist. It’s the accessory you use to block the voices out, yes?

REMINGTON

Yeah.

DR. MORELLO

And when you take it off, can you describe what these voices are like?

REMINGTON

There’s like, a lot of them, and they just say words, I guess. It’s overlapping and each voice says a word, and then that just repeats, like, I don’t know, over and over, like —

JAY

Like a broken record in your brain.

REMINGTON

...Yeah. What she said.

(turning back to DR. MORELLO)

Wait, so all your patients have the same problem?

DR. MORELLO

Essentially, yes.

(pauses)

Of course, I do too.

REMINGTON

What?

(DAISY enters with a big yellow bucket, which she plunks in front of REMINGTON.)

DAISY

Fear-puke bucket time.

JAY

It’s always more like panic attack puke, if anything —

DAISY

Yeah, but that doesn’t have the same ring to it.

REMINGTON

What’s this for?

DAISY/JAY

Just in case.

REMINGTON

Of what?

DR. MORELLO

Remington, this isn’t some disease or disorder. You see, ah, living things have a soul, right?

REMINGTON

Okay, yeah, I guess?

DR. MORELLO

Well, souls don’t die with the living thing. They go on to inhabit another body.

REMINGTON

Reincarnation?

DR. MORELLO

Yes, some call it that. A transference of energy. A shift of...ah, physical matter around an entity, a...crowding of energies for space, a—

REMINGTON

Wack.

DR. MORELLO

Wack indeed, Remington.

REMINGTON

So my voices are some byproduct of, like, reincarnation?

DAISY

Sorta.

DR. MORELLO

If the soul lives a good, fulfilling, pure life — at least, as the books say — such a thing -- a “pure life” -- is hard to define, it gets reincarnated as human.

REMINGTON

And if it doesn’t?

JAY.

It turns into an animal.

REMINGTON

Damn, that’s rough.

DAISY

(to JAY)

She’s taking this surprisingly well.

DR. MORELLO

People who hear these voices are people whose souls have been reincarnated as human for several lifetimes in a row. The voices are remnants of previous human lives.

REMINGTON

So what you’re saying is voices mean there’s, like, dead people in your head?

DR. MORELLO

That’s putting it a little crassly, but...yes.

REMINGTON

So...there’s dead people in your head?

DR. MORELLO

Yes.

REMINGTON

All of you?

DAISY/JAY

Yeah.

REMINGTON

Me?

JAY

(a little irritated)

Yes!

REMINGTON

So this is some kind of therapy for dead-people-in-your-head...people? Fine. But why do these dead people say random words? Does it all mean anything? Am I just really stupid and not connecting some obvious dots?

JAY

Yes.

(DR. MORELLO stands up. 2. Dead-People-In-Your-Head People.)

DR. MORELLO

NOW, A SOUL MOVES FROM BODY TO BODY,

BUT EACH LIFE LEAVES ITS TRACE.

A SINGLE WORD FOR EACH HUMAN

TOO OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT TO ERASE

NOW WHEN SOULS HAVE BEEN REINCARNATED

AS HUMAN SEVERAL TIMES IN A ROW

IT GETS TO THE EXTENT WHERE THE SOUL IS SO HUMAN,

ITS HOST HEARS ECHOES OF LONG AGO.

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

EVERYONE’S GOT DEAD PEOPLE IN THEIR HEADS, PEOPLE!

JAY

ONLY WE’RE THE LUCKY BASTARDS WHO CAN HEAR ‘EM.

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

THERE’S NO WAY TO MAKE ‘EM GO AWAY!

DAISY

NO MAGIC PILL, POTION, OR SERUM!

JAY

SO USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE IF YOU’RE NOT A LITTLE BITCH —

DR. MORELLO

Jay!

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

WE’RE ALL DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE

DAISY

AND THOUGH IT SOUNDS A BIT DARK,

WE’VE JUST INHERITED SOULS FROM PURE AND WHOLESOME

FOLKS WHO’D CLEAN UP LITTER IN THE PARK!

REMINGTON

OH, SO USE THEM TO YOUR ADVANTAGE SINCE THEY’RE ALL LITTLE BITCHES —

DR. MORELLO

No! WHAT JAY MEANT IS WE CAN LEARN FROM THEM.

YOU’LL FIND THEY’RE NO MYSTERY!

IF YOU

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

CONCENTRATE ON ONE WORD,

DR. MORELLO

YOU CAN UNLOCK A HISTORY.

WE’RE TIES BETWEEN GENERATIONS

WHO OBSERVE AND PRESERVE

THIS SOUL’S UNTAINTED PURITY

SO WE GET THE NEXT LIFE WE DESERVE!

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

WHEN YOU’RE DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE,

No pressure, but your past lives all were really good...

WE’RE SORTA RARE, SO WE’D SORTA CARE

TO NOT GO EXTINCT...UNDERSTOOD?

DR. MORELLO

SO WE ALL CONSIDER BEING MORE SELFLESS...

JAY

NOTE THE KEY WORD THERE IS “CONSIDER”!

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

WHEN YOU’RE DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE,

YOU’RE WORKING FOR A HIGHER PURPOSE!

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE TO EXPLORE;

WE’VE BARELY SCRATCHED THE SURFACE!

BUT, BEFORE WE START, HERE’S THE MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION...

DR. MORELLO

How many voices are in your head?

REMINGTON

Eleven.

DAISY

Holy shit.

JAY

Are you sure you’ve counted right?

REMINGTON

Yeah, I’m fucking sure I’ve counted right after 18 years of counting! What’s so weird about eleven?

JAY

Nothing. You just beat my record of ten.

REMINGTON

SO I GUESS I’M A

DEAD-PERSONS-IN-MY-HEAD PERSON!

I’M GLAD TO BE JOINING THE TEAM.

I’LL TRY TO CALMLY ACCEPT I’M AN ANOMALY

AND NOT FEAR-PUKE OR SCREAM!

I’M READY TO GET STARTED WITH THIS THERAPY!

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

Yeah!

SHE’S A DEAD-PERSONS-IN-HER-HEAD PERSON

JAY

Having eleven isn’t problematic at all!

DAISY

SHUT UP, YOU CUCK!

PETER

IT’S JUST OUR LUCK

THAT YOUR PARENTS GAVE ME THAT CALL

DR. MORELLO/DAISY/JAY

‘CAUSE NOW, YOU’RE HERE WITH US!

ALL

AND WE’RE ALL

DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE!

EACH HOUSING A VERY NICE SOUL.

THOUGH WE’VE GOT DIFFERENT NUMBERS,

WE’RE ALL PARTS OF A WHOLE!

DR. MORELLO

DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE,

DR. MORELLO/JAY

DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE,

DR. MORELLO/JAY/DAISY

DEAD-PEOPLE-IN-YOUR-HEAD PEOPLE...

REMINGTON

THERE’S DEAD PEOPLE IN MY HEAD!

DR. MORELLO/JAY/DAISY

OH YES, THERE’S DEAD PEOPLE IN HER HEAD!

WHY STRESS? THERE’S DEAD PEOPLE IN HER HEAD!

GOD BLESS! THERE’S DEAD PEOPLE IN HER HEAD!