#rather than taking this as an opportunity to write as many as she could THINK of

[stoportotouch]

in fairness to her. (and to myself because we are basically the same person.) my mother does find it quite funny when i say “to literally anybody else a child deciding to do that would suggest some kind of Brain Thing” because we both know that she will always reply “but i did exactly the same thing as a child”

[vbecker10]

Hey love, how are you doing? Hope you’re all good. Could you write a Bucky x fem!reader who has an eating disorder, but she hides it from the team and she does it successfully, but on one mission she passes out, which is weird because she’s one of the best. She says it was just because she didn’t feel well and everyone believes her, but not Bucky. He senses that something’s off and eventually finds out, because he leaves reader no choice but to tell him, and so she does.

I’m struggling with my ed and I would love it, but if you don’t want to write this, it’s totally fine! I am a huge fan of your work💚

I Want You to be Healthy

Pairing: Bucky x female reader (Y/N) - established relationship / reader has an eating disorder

Summary: You pass out on the way to the jet after a successful mission. The team quickly accepts the excuse that you don't feel well but Bucky knows you well enough to know that you're lying. As soon as you are alone together, Bucky pushes you to open up to him about what truly made you pass out.

Warnings: Eating disorder, passing out, denying you have an eating disorder, feeling insecure about your weight & body image, keeping secrets from your friends and boyfriend, relapsing eating disorder

Background: Female reader has an Eating Disorder (a combination of anorexia and bulimia). Reader has the following behaviors: Skipping meals, frequent checking in the mirror for precieved flaws, constantly using a scale and tracking their weight, eating alone and at odd times of the day / night, exercising more frequently and more intensely than needed, not taking rest days or days off for injury, using the restroom soon after eating, making their own meals rather than eating what the team eats, often complains about needing to be healthy and talks about having to lose weight or gain muscle, thinking they are in control of their eating habits

A/N: Hi my lovely anon, I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling with your ED, I hope you can focus on yourself and get the help you need. I'm here if you want someone to listen 💚 Thank you for trusting me with this, I tried not to focus too much on the specific type of eating disorder since there are a few but I found some similarities between them when I was doing my research. I used those symptoms for this to make it a bit general. I hope this is okay 💚

I didn't tag too many people in this because I wasn't sure who exactly to tag, I won't be offend if you skip this 💚

Steve walks at the front of the group, one hand firmly gripped around the arm of a captured Hydra officer, her hands cuffed tightly behind her back. The mission was simple enough and more of you had gone than was needed but you couldn't pass up the opportunity to be out in the field. It was the only place you felt you belonged, where you could show the others on the team you were good enough to be here.

When Bucky had knocked on your door earlier this afternoon and asked if you were free to join them, you agreed eagerly. It was a welcome distraction from what you had been doing for the last hour, standing in front of your full length mirror, scrutinizing every inch of your body. The flaws in your physique are so glaringly obvious to you, you couldn't help but fixate on where you need to lose fat or gain muscle.

Bucky had smirked when you answered your door to him in nothing but a towel, he assumed you were having a lazy day after a relaxing shower. You hugged him tightly and told him you would get ready for the mission. There was no point in telling him what you had really been doing. A super soldier could never understand your daily struggle with your weight or the constant drive to be perfect. None of the Avengers could.

Natasha and Clint follow the captain closely, another captive officer walks with his head down between them as they discuss dinner. They quickly decide that since its Friday, they should get take out when they get back. There was no reason to make an excuse of course, take out was the easy option. Most of the team was either too busy to cook or had simply never been taught how to.

This meant you had to be even more careful because the food that was ordered was never healthy. Soon after you joined, you learned that it was easier to prepare all of your own food and eat in your room. Eating away from the team also meant they couldn't ask why your portions were what they considered small or why you were eating much later than them. It was none of their business anyways, you had told yourself often. As much as you would have liked their company, it was better this way. You could focus on your weight and health instead of answering all of their questions or dealing with their concerned opinions.

Bucky chuckles as he slips his arm around your waist, unaware of your thoughts. "I'm voting for spaghetti and meatballs, not that anyone asked me," he joins his friends conversation but you are barely listening.

Natasha checks to make sure Clint has a firm hold of the captive then she effortlessly turns, walking backwards smoothly through the thick leaves. "What do you want for dinner, Y/N?" she asks you with a smile, pointedly ignoring Bucky's comment which gets a laugh from Clint.

You don't answer, too distracted by the pain that is spreading deep in your stomach, the one that means you've almost reached your limit between meals. When you get back, you'll need to find something to eat, even if that means more time in the gym.

"Earth to Y/N," the spy waves at you to get your attention. When you make eye contact with her, she again asks what you want for dinner.

You shrug in response, the pain in your stomach growing as you walk. You know the type of answer she is looking for. Pizza, Thai, sushi. You could easily suggest any one of a hundred things but you can't. If you did, you would be expected to join them and that isn't something you are willing to do.

"Don't bother," Clint says when you are silent for a few more steps. His tone is relaxed but you worry he can tell what you are thinking. "You know Y/N never eats anything we order. We don't get anything healthy enough for her," he reminds Natasha. "Too much grease and fat and deliciousness."

"It's not my fault I'm the only one at the Tower worried about my figure," you roll your eyes at him.

Bucky laughs, his hand squeezes your waist, a part of your body you've always been self conscious about. "Your figure is perfect, doll," he smiles and you wish you could believe him but it's not that easy.

Natasha turns back to Clint, not missing a step and pats his stomach once. "Maybe you could learn something from her," she jokes.

"Hey!" he calls after her, sounding like an annoyed sibling. She laughs, jogging lightly towards Steve to hold the female officer while he opens the hatch.

Your ears begin to ring and the trees in the forest around you blend together, becoming hazy. Bucky kisses the top of your head and asks you a question but you can barely make out what he is saying. His voice is just above the ringing that vibrates in your mind. He looks down at you, his expression quickly turning to concern as he says your name but you don't respond.

You're light-headed and suddenly feel cold as your vision blurs more of your surroundings together. You take one more small step and stop, unable to continue forward. Bucky's hold on you tightens but you can't make out his words. You recognize what's happening to your body but only a second before you lose consciousness.

"Y/N," you hear Bucky say your name softly as he runs his metal fingers through your hair gently. Opening your eyes with a quiet groan, the jet gradually comes into focus but everything is sideways. You turn your head to look up at Bucky and realize your resting on his lap. "Slowly doll," he says, helping you sit up in the seat next to him.

"You okay?" Clint asks from the seat across from you.

You nod, still a bit dizzy, "Yeah."

"You had us all worried," Bucky says, his eyes not leaving you.

You shrug, hoping a few simple lies will calm everyone including yourself. It's been almost three years since you passed out from not eating. The last time it happened, your eating disorder had spiraled out of control for the second time and your family urged you to get treatment. It couldn't be happening again though, you think desperately. You are in control of your eating habits this time, you had just accidentally gone too long without eating.

"I felt kinda sick this morning. I know I probably should have stayed home but this sounded like a really quick mission," you offer an explanation that sounds likely.

"Next time you tell us if you don't feel well enough to go out," Steve says sternly from the pilot seat of the jet.

"Will do cap," you plaster on a smile to hide the wince from the dull ache in your stomach and salute him. This earns you a huff and a dramatic eye roll from the blonde super soldier.

"Good, can't let anything happen to the second best spy on the team," Natasha says with a smirk as she opens some files on her tablet.

You force out a small laugh, "Second best?" Then you look at Bucky who still hasn't taken his eyes off of you. He doesn't seem to have accepted your excuse as readily as everyone else but he also knows you better than anyone. "Are you going to let her talk about your girl like that?" Hoping the joke with Nat will distract him from his concern for you.

Bucky responds with a smile almost as fake as yours and says, "Of course not doll."

"Hey," Tony says when he spots you coming towards him in the hall. "How are you feeling? I heard to passed out in the field today."

"I'm okay, just a bit dehydrated," you tell him, holding up your bottle of water as proof.

"Okay, just try to be more careful next time," he tells you and you agree to as you continuing towards your room. "You're not gonna eat with us? Nat ordered from this new Mexican place."

"I'm still feeling a little off," you touch your forehead lightly and he nods. It's an easy excuse and it slips out before you even realize you've said it. You take a few more steps down the hall then add, "I'll see you all in the morning for training, though."

"Only if you're feeling up to it," he says and you give him an enthusiastic thumbs up. He smiles, shaking his head when you turn away from him again. "You're allowed a rest day you know," he calls after you. You continue towards your room without responding, you know that's not true.

A soft knock on your door interrupts your reading and you get up to see who it is. "Hi Bucky," you greet your boyfriend warmly but he doesn't offer you a hug or even a smile in return.

"Can we talk?" he asks in a serious tone and you nod, letting him in as your heart races. Those three words send panic through your body in an instant. You freeze as he takes a seat on the edge of your bed, rubbing his hands together anxiously. "Come sit, doll," he taps the bed next to him lightly without looking at you, his eyes still fixed on his hands.

You walk over and sit next to him silently. What do you two need to talk about that is making him this uneasy, you think. The only answer that surfaces is that he's come to end your eight month relationship, but why? Did you do something wrong, had you forgotten something, your mind races in search of an answer.

He takes your hand in his metal one gently and takes a breath to steady himself which only makes you more nervous. "Y/N," he starts slowly, "I love you so much, you know that right?" He lifts his head to look at you and you nod, too anxious to speak.

"I'm going to ask you this once," he says, "And please, don't lie to me." You bite your bottom lip, searching his face for any hint of his question. "Why did you really pass out on the mission today?" he asks.

You feel the smallest hint of relief that this isn't about your relationship but then you are instantly filled with a different type of fear. Has Bucky figured out what you've been hiding from him, from everyone? Does he know about your eating disorder returning and your worry that you're losing control? Your mind fills with all of your most easily accepted excuses, hoping that you can convince him you are okay.

Before you can open your mouth, he shakes his head. "I need the truth doll," almost as if he can see the lies forming.

"I-" your words stick in your throat and you look away from Bucky, your eyes roaming around your small room. You focus on the high tech scale positioned in front of the tall, full length mirror you spend so much of your time in front of.

He cups your cheek, bringing your eyes back to his, "Talk to me. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong, Y/N."

"I'm fine, I promise," you tell him in the most sincere voice you can, kissing his cheek softly. "I told you, I was just feeling a little under the weather today. It's not a big deal."

"You didn't eat again today," he states, no hint of a question in his tone. You're in too much shock to begin defending your reasoning for skipping a meals when he adds, "You've been missing meals a lot lately, haven't you?"

You nod, suddenly feeling caught which makes you feel both guilty and embarrassed. Bucky is the one person on the team you have always been able to confide in, even before you started dating but this was something you wanted to keep even from him. It was the reason you forced yourself to eat when you went on dates with him but you always found a way to excuse yourself and use the bathroom soon after. Had he noticed that too, you worry.

"How long do you think you can go without eating?" he asks but you don't want to admit you know the answer. Since college, you've developed a pretty good sense for how long you can go between meals, today truly had been a miscalculation. Instead you simply shrug as you guage whether or not you can convince Bucky you missed those meals by accident.

"Y/N," he says when you are quiet. "You can't keep doing this."

You chew the inside of your cheek, this conversation reminding you too much of the one you had with your parents the first time they caught you hiding and throwing away your food. Your eyes flicker away from his and back as you start to realize you might be struggling more than you thought.

His jaw tightens and his gaze follows yours to the scale and mirror then he sighs. "I should throw those stupid things out," he says, more to himself then to you.

"No," you respond quickly and he furrows his brows when he looks back at you. "I need them," you try to explain, your body tensing at the thought of being without them even though they do nothing but cause you anxiety and distress. "I have to keep checking..." your voice trails off, you don't want to open up any further. You don't want Bucky you judge you.

"Checking what?" Bucky asks, hoping you will let him in.

"I have to keep checking my weight," you finish and you find yourself suddenly unable to hold the rest in. "I've always been just a little over from where I need to be with my weight." You look down at your body as you sit next to him, you can easily envision all the flaws you saw in the mirror this morning. "I'll get there, I'm close," you tell him as if he's the one you need to convince and not the small voice that dictates what you can and cannot eat.

You had been focused on your weight for almost your whole adult life and never reached your target. It doesn't matter that the target keeps shrinking anytime you are even remotely close. A few times, you had almost reached the number you thought would finally mean you were perfect only for the small voice to disagree. It would insist you could still lose more weight or you had put on too much muscle or needed more muscle or any number of things. Each time your goal changed, your eating habits became stricter and your workouts became more intense.

Bucky cups your cheek, his thumb brushing your skin lightly, "What are you talking about? You're in the best shape of anyone on the team. You're perf-"

"No," you shake your head, pulling free from his fingers. "I'm far from perfect, you of all people should know that. You're a super soldier, you were practically built to be perfect," you tell him and Bucky's metal hand twiches as he removes it from your waist. "I knew you wouldn't understand," you add with deep a sigh.

"I want to understand. I'm worried about you," Bucky says but you don't look at him.

"You don't need to worry about me," you say, shifting away from him on the bed. You feel yourself becoming defensive and worried he will want you to stop checking your weight and eat more. "I'm fine, I told you. Why can't you just leave it alone?"

"Because you're not fine," he says, his voice raising a bit to show his frustration, not at you but with the situation. "You don't eat, Y/N, not nearly enough and I've seen the way you push yourself too hard when we train. I kept telling myself you knew what you were doing and you would stop if you needed to but then today..." he shakes his head as his voice trails off for a moment.

"Today was an accident," you insist but you're less sure of yourself then you had been. "I have it under control. If I had known about the mission beforehand, I wouldn't have gotten sick."

"You didn't get sick, you passed out," he says and you can see he's becoming more upset by the conversation and the fact that you will not listen to him. "What if that had happened in the middle of the mission? What if we had been somewhere more dangerous and I couldn't get to you? You've gone on solo missions, no one would have known what happened to you."

You get up quickly, needing to distance yourself from Bucky's questions and concern and the doubt they are creating in you. You pace around your room, trying to absorb his words but you don't want to believe he's right. You don't want to admit that you're not okay again.

Without realizing it, you walk towards your mirror and tap the scale with your foot. Bucky gets up, coming over to you but your eyes are fixed on the scale. You tap it again and it turns on, the zeros blinking slowly as you remember the number that stared at you this morning.

"I get that your worried about your weight-" he starts but you cut him off.

"Of course I'm worried about it," you look up, folding your arms around your body tightly. "You have no idea how easy it is to gain weight, one little slip and I could lose all my progress. I have to watch everything I eat and workout so I can be good enough to be here, so I can be perfect," you voice your inner thoughts to Bucky for the first time. "I can't just stop," you tell him.

He moves closer to you, removing the empty space you created between the two of you and you begin to feel nervous again. "I want you to be healthy," he takes your hand in his, pulling you away from the scale.

"So do I, that's why I need to do this," you argue but you feel defeated, as if you are only moments from admitting you know he is right.

He shakes his head, his metal arm rests on your lower back, pulling you closer to him. "What you're doing is the opposite of being healthy, doll. Can you see that?"

You look up at him, seeing the concern fill his eyes and you know you can't deny it any longer. You bite your lip and nod slowly, "I think I need help."

"I'm here doll," he responds softly.

"This isn't-" you struggle to find the words and he gives you time, holding you quietly. "This isn't the first time this has happened," you tell him honestly. Bucky holds you silently as you tell him about your struggles with your eating disorder and how you have relapsed previously after getting treatment. He doesn't ask questions or interrupt you, his hand moves gently up and down your back as you open up completely. When you finish, he wipes your tears softly and kisses your forehead.

"I thought I was okay," you tell him, your voice breaking. He pulls you flush against his body, wrapping his arms around you.

"You will be," he assures you and you rest your head on his chest, hoping he is right. "You are the strongest person I have ever met, you can do this. I will help you any way I can, I promise."

You pull away to look up at him, realizing you'll be gone for at least a few months for treatment. "What am I going to tell everyone?" you ask him, feeling a wave of shame wash over you. It was one thing to break down and admit to Bucky that you had an eating disorder but it was an entirely different thing for the Avengers to find out. "I don't want the team to know," you shake your head, worried about their reactions.

He cups your cheek and you look up at him again, "Don't worry about the team or anything else, doll. I will take care of them and everything else. The only thing I want you to do is focus on getting better, on being healthy again." He gives you a hopeful smile and says, "I'll tell them we're going to visit your family. Fury will approve the time off, it shouldn't be an issue."

You sniffle in response then smile slowly, "We?"

He nods, "If that's okay with you. I know there are things you'll need to do alone, but I want to be close, in case you need me. I want to be there for you, every step of the way."

You wipe a tear quickly with the back of your hand and nod, unable to express how much Bucky's offer means to you in words. Instead, you reach up and press your lips to his softly, holding onto him tightly. Pulling away slightly, you look into his eyes and tell him, "I love you."

He smiles, running his fingers through your hair gently, his metal arm still holding you close. "I love you too, Y/N. You will be okay, I promise you will get through this."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚

@soubi001 @mochie85 @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @lulubelle814 @siconetribal @jiyascepter @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @dracoswhorexx @lokiandbuckysdoll

[scarlethexelove]

Little Devil

Pairing: Angel!Wanda Maximoff x Demon!Reader

Word Count: 2835

Warnings: A little bit of angry Wanda, Blood, Split eyebrow, Start of a bar fight, Cute date, Unexpected cumming, Not really much.

Pt 1

A/n: I need to give the biggest thanks and a whole like of credit to @wandamaximoffsbadgirl She was a major collaborator on this fic. Pretty much writing half of it with me. This is the prequal to Roles Reversed. I have for so long wanted to write more in this AU and with Ley's help I was able to fill in the parts I was struggling with. I definitely have many more thoughts to this AU and hope so share more soon. This is how the two cuties met.

NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN

The night is like any other, the bar is bustling with regulars and a ton of new faces. You own the best bar in town so it's nothing new, but you love it. The interaction with people and getting to do something you love. Wanda walks past the bustling bar but stops in her tracks when she senses that tell tale sign of a demon. What could they be getting up to in such a busy place? She has a bad feeling about this. Rage takes over as she makes haste into the bar.

You're laughing behind the bar with some of the regulars, leaning forward as you laugh at some stupid joke one of them told. You see the door open, rather than hear it, as a beautiful woman walks through. “Hey! Welcome to my bar! What can I start you with?” You call out over the voice and music. Wanda studies you, you seem too nice to be such a wretched demon. She doesn't answer which has you raising your eyebrow. “Whenever you figure out what you want just give me a holler.” You sling your bar rag over your shoulder and get back to some other patrons. Wanda takes a seat at the end of the bar and studies you. Her senses only point you out, but how is she supposed to confront you in front of all these people?

You feel Wanda’s eyes on you and try to ignore it as you get back into your rhythm. Moving around the bar and eventually when she doesn't order anything you set a water in front of her, leaning on the bar. “So what's brought you into my little hole in the wall?” You question the beautiful woman in front of you. She eyes the drink with skepticism and looks back up at you. “Seemed like a busy place.” Was all she said. You feel the hostility and anger pouring off of her. So you just give her a smile and a nod. 

As you notice you're running low on ice you let the other bartender know you're heading to the back to get more. Wanda takes this opportunity to follow you. You didn't notice her following you until you've been pushed into a supply closet. Her arm is pressed against your neck as she pins you against a wall. Her foot kicked the door closed behind her. “What do you think you're doing?” She seethes. You're confused until you catch out of the corner of your eye your tail nervously flicking back and forth. That is when it clicks, she's an angel.

You try to get out of her hold. Are all angels this strong or have you just grown weak? You finally decide it's no use and instead put a hand over hers. “Please calm down and I can explain.” You use your power of taking anger to calm her down. As she became calmer her grip loosened on you until you were able to lower her arm. “Listen, I came here to have a good time. I just want to run my bar and keep out of trouble.” You tried to explain and though her hand didn't come back up again you saw it in her eyes, untrustworthy. “Why should I believe in a demon like you?” She seethes. You raise your hands in surrender.  “Look, you can stick around and watch me if you like, but I have work to do.” You gently squeeze by her to not anger her more. You get the ice and head back to what you were doing. You feel her eyes following you all night. 

“Dude what the fuck!” You hear screaming as a fight breaks out. You quickly jump over the bar and make your way to the fight before it escalates to an all out brawl. You take a punch to the face, splitting your eyebrow, but you get your hands on them and take their anger and de-escalating the situation. “Break it up boys. If you wanna fight, it won't be in my bar.” Wanda almost jumps up as she watches the blood run down and into your eye, forcing you to close it. She grips tightly onto the bar as she fights her body on running to you. Once the two guys apologize and everything settles you head to your office with the rag over the wound, holding it. 

Wanda once again slips past and follows behind you. As you sit down in your chair she stands in the doorway. You look up at her from your seat. “Yes?” She rolls her eyes at how you fail to even help yourself. “Let me.” She takes the rag and forces your face up so that she can clean you up.

It's silent as she patches you up. “That was stupid of you.” You look at her bewildered. “Was I supposed to let an all out brawl happen?” Wanda huffs a little knowing you're right. “No, but you didn't have to take the punch…” She holds onto your face after patching you up. Looking over your features for a moment longer before you ask. “Do you wanna go out sometime?” It spills out of your mouth before you can stop it. 

Fear crosses your face as you realize what you said. You had never been so close to an angel. You had heard of their beauty but she was far more beautiful than you had ever expected. “You don't even know my name sweetheart.” Wanda pats your cheek and walks away with a wink. She takes her place back at the bar as you sit there dumbfounded. “Shit.” You mumble as you scramble back out to the bar.

You spend a good chunk of the evening stumbling over your words in front of her. As the night progresses and she talks with you she wonders why she was ever worried in the first place. As you stumble over yourself once more Wanda interrupts you. “Wanda.” Your brow furrows. “Huh?” You question. She chuckles at you. “Wanda. My name. You still haven't asked it.” Your face goes completely red as a smirk appears on her face. “O-oh...I'm y/n.” A chuckle rolls out of her mouth and you get butterflies at how beautiful it sounds. “I figured that out since this is ‘Y/N's bar’.” She reminds you and somehow your face turns more red.

As the night draws to a close and most people have left Wanda watches as you clean up. Her chin is  propped on her hand. “I'll pick you up at 7.” You look up from where you are cleaning. “W-what?” She chuckles. “For our date. I'll pick you up at 7.” Wanda leans over the bar and kisses your cheek before she walks out the bar. Her hips sway as your cheeks turn red and your mouth hangs open. But you recover running after her. “You don't know where I live.” You call after her. She turns around with a raised brow waiting for you to tell her. You ramble off your address for her before she walks away into the night leaving you shocked and excited.

You wake up excited and ready the moment your eyes open. As the day progresses you worry slightly which turns bigger and bigger as the time gets closer. You're all dressed up and ready as you pace back and forth. What if she was just fucking with you? What if she didn't actually want to go out with you? Wasn't she supposed to hate you? Angels and demons aren't meant to be together but what if you can. You have never been like the others, your brothers were some of the best out there but you loved humans, so maybe this would be okay.

7 rolls around and you are anxiously waiting outside for Wanda. To your surprise she pulls up in a red car. You don't know how she could look more beautiful but she does. “Wo-wow.” Was all you could stutter out.She smiles at you. “Come on get in I made reservations.” You do as told and get in. “Reservations?” You ask on the way. “Oh yeah I know the owner of this place. A really nice place and told him I needed a table tonight for a date. He happily found me a spot.” You blush realizing she had planned things out and your worries started to melt away.

When you get there your jaw drops in shock at the place. You have heard about it and how amazing the food is. You have tried to get a reservation for months and couldn't get in. Wanda sees your surprise and grabs your hand. “Come on pretty girl.” You can't help but blush as she pulls you forward. “Wanda you didn't have to.” You breathe out as she opens the door for you to head inside. “I wanted a sweetheart.” She walks to the hostess and whispers in her ear. You feel shy and awkward as you wait to be seated.

Wanda just met you yesterday and she was willing to do all this and all the nicknames and compliments had your head swimming already. Wanda is already loving how easy it is to fluster you. You aren't like any other demon she has met. So intriguing, soft, and she can tell so submissive. 

Wanda takes your hand again and leads you to your seat which is one of the best in the restaurant. She pulls out the chair for you which surprises you but you sit. She rounds the table and sits across from you. At first you're so nervous and shy but as time passes you start to loosen up. A very stark contrast to the person behind the bar last night. The conversations are easy and two hours doesn't feel like two hours as you finish a shared piece of cake. It's a huge serving and so sweet you almost feel it rot your teeth, but you loved it. The way her face lit up at every bite she was taking of it was worth it. You let her have the last bite as the waitress comes back with her card.

“Thank you Wanda.” Your voice is low and soft. You look down as another blush covers your face. Wanda hooks her finger under your chin to make you look at her. She has a soft smile on her face as she speaks. “You are so welcome detka. Now let's get you home.” You smile and nod. The both of you make your way out of the restaurant and Wanda drives you home. This has been one of the best nights of your life and you desperately don't want it to end.

When you get to the door of your house you chew on your lip a moment before asking. “Do you want to come in?” Wanda smiles sweetly at you. “I'd love to continue this date.” You can't help but get giddy and a little bit of a happy jump as you open the door. Wanda finds your excitement adorable as she follows you inside. Your home is very cozy, not something you would expect from a demon but it's so very you.  “This is very cute sweetheart.” You smile. “Thank you Wands.” You test the nick name a bit hesitant but when she smiles at you in approval it makes you that much more giddy.

You both get comfortable on the couch and start talking. Eventually the topic of your features comes up. “I'll show you mine if you show me yours.” Wanda says making you blush as your tail comes out, flicking back and forth slowly and your horns come out. Wanda does this, almost shake as her wings come out. Bright beautiful white looking so soft to the touch. You don't know how she keeps doing it but the more you see the more beautiful she becomes. You're hesitant to ask and you can feel your fingers twitch in a need to just feel them. She notices and smiles. “You can touch them if you like, but if you do I want to feel your horns.” Like most of the night your blush intensifies. “Deal, but uh my horns can be a bit sensitive.” You tell her.

Wanda raises an eyebrow at you. “Sensitive, hm?” She asks not giving you time to answer as her fingers brush lightly over them. You feel your body heat up, leaning into her touch as your mouth falls open, a small moan leaving your lips. Wanda bites her lip at the sound, a demon had never sounded more angelic.

Wanda is surprised by the softness of your horns. She expected them to be rough but the smoothness to them is nice as she runs her fingers up and down the ridges. As her fingers dance across them you feel your breath quicken as your chest turns the same color as your cheeks. It all feels too much but oh so good at the same time. Your mind is growing fuzzy at how good it feels. 

It had been so long since the last time you felt like this, but you knew this fuzzy headspace you were being put in. “W-Wands…” You manage out, your pleas going unheard as she carries on stroking your horns, your hot breath filling the space between you two and then it slips out. “Mommy please…” 

“Yes little devil.” Wanda hums her response but she is still so entranced by how beautiful your horns really are that she doesn't fully register the situation. And by the time she does it's too late. You let out a whimper and moan as you cum unexpectedly. Your eyes shut as your thighs tremble slightly. Wanda instinctively wraps her wings around you in a protective manner. It isn't until you feel her wings around you as you come down that it sinks in exactly what just happened. “O-oh my god.” You pull back from her. “I-I'm so sorry. Fuck.” You can't help but feel tears filling your eyes at the thought of ruining everything.

Wanda pulls you closer, her wings wrapping around you. “Shhh dorogaya you've done nothing wrong.” She soothes you by rubbing your back. You feel so warm and safe in her arms. You wonder for a moment if she could take your worries away because it certainly feels like she has. 

“I-I didn't know that would happen. It's never happened before.” You mumble against her. Wanda gently pulls you back so she can look at you, her wings still around you in a protective embrace. She cups your cheek and uses her thumb to brush away a stray tear that had fallen. “If I'm honest, I found that super hot.” You should be over her boldness by now but it still shocks you as your whole face heats up now. She can't help but chuckle at your current state. “How about we get you cleaned up and we can maybe continue this date with a movie? How does that sound?” You nod with excitement. “That sounds amazing Wands.” 

As you're about to break apart Wanda speaks up. “I loved it when you called me Mommy.” Everytime you think you're done blushing she's turning you a new shade of red. You can't even look at her as you ask. “Y-you did?” She pulls your chin back up to look at her. “Yes detka. I did.” A smile spreads across your face. Your tail flicking and hitting against her wings. 

Wanda leans in kissing you. You melt into her instantly. This must be what people mean when they say they felt fireworks. Your kiss with Wanda ignites something new within you. It's like nothing you have ever felt before. When you finally pull apart Wanda smirks at you. “Don't think I've ever made someone cum before I kissed them before.” You whine and hide your face in her neck as she chuckles, getting the two of you up and putting her wings away so as to not knock anything over as you two go to the bathroom to clean you up. Wanda is so good about it and helps get you out of the clothes you had picked out for dinner and into some comfy pajamas. You offer her some which she happily takes. 

The two of you decide to stay in your room and watch a movie on your bed. Wanda's wings coming back out and wrapping around you like a blanket. Wanda insists that your horns stay out even though you're worried about hurting her with them. She wants you to be you in your own home. No need to hide away or worry with her.  She has already made up her mind that she will protect you no matter what.

She never expected walking into that bar last night would lead to you but here you are. A demon like no other, the perfect missing piece to her puzzle.

[crackerzaf]

The cycle is never over

Trigger warning:

When she was a kid, she didn't understand it, but now she knows, and she knows that she's just part of the cycle.

Mimzy's mother, Ruth, was fiercely protective of her daughter, never allowing anyone to take advantage of her while she was around. Ruth's presence was a constant shield, ensuring that Mimzy's career was managed with an iron fist and that no one could exploit her. Ruth's vigilance kept the darker aspects of Hollywood at bay, and Mimzy, though pushed relentlessly, was kept safe from the industry's more nefarious elements.

However, everything changed when Mimzy turned 18. After a severe falling out, Ruth abandoned her, taking all of Mimzy's money and leaving her to navigate the brutal world of Hollywood alone. Without her mother's protection, Mimzy was thrust into an environment rife with predatory behavior and exploitation.

Naive and inexperienced, Mimzy struggled to secure roles and manage her career. She trusted the men around her, who saw her vulnerability as an opportunity. They convinced her that casting couch sessions were essential to maintaining her star status. This deceitful manipulation marked the beginning of her downfall.

In her early 20s, the media caught wind of these casting couch sessions. The scandal exploded, with headlines painting her as a willing participant rather than a victim. This public shaming further damaged her reputation and mental health, driving her deeper into addiction and depression.

The absence of her mother's protective oversight left Mimzy exposed to Hollywood's darkest facets. Her once-bright career prospects dimmed as she spiraled into despair, her life unraveling in the wake of exploitation and betrayal.

....

What a way to come back to posting backstory. Am I right, all seriousness guys. This is a very serious subject, and the last thing I want is for anyone to think I don't take the subject matter seriously but I do it might have never happened to me but I've done research reading and watching many documentaries of actress and their experiences in 1920s.

Ignore if you don't care about updates!

Side note: sorry I haven't done anything on tumblr idk why I think I'm just avoiding writing the alastor and dad comic tbh so I'm gonna put a pin in it for now and will see when I come back to that

[dixons-sunshine]

I love your Daryl x reader stories

I wanted to ask if you could write sth about Daryl x fempolish reader. Like maybe they meet in Alexandria and she made him some polish food he loved or just some love short story. I don't know it's up to you.

Have a great day

Just Try It | Daryl Dixon x Polish!Fem!Reader

*GIF and moodboard aren't mine.*

Summary: After finding all the ingredients needed to make one of your cultural dishes, you decide to make it when Carol invited you and Daryl over. However, you never suspected a man that ate snakes on the regular would be so skeptical when it came to food.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: The Commonwealth.

Warnings: Swearing.

Word count: 932.

A/n: Thank you so much for helping me with the translations @mawidixon! I hope you like this! (Translations will be at the bottom.)

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

“Nah, it looks weird as shit. Ain't gon' eat it.”

You rolled your eyes at him, huffing in frustration. “Kochanie, I've seen you eat a snake before. We've had to eat literal dog meat before. How the hell are you picky about this? It's just Pierogi. I've eaten this many times before the world ended. It won't kill you.”

Daryl peered over your shoulder, looking at the Pierogi that you were busy frying in a pan. His eyes were carefully following your movements, skeptical about the dish you were preparing. Carol had invited you and the kids over for dinner and had asked you to prepare Pierogi, and you had agreed rather ecstatically. It was rare for you to be able to make one of your traditional dishes, so you had jumped at the opportunity to do so.

“Why would ya boil it and then fry it? Seems fuckin' unnecessary if ya ask me,” Daryl replied skeptically, slightly scrunching his nose. “And the mashed potatoes? Why would ya wrap dough 'round it? Ya could jus' eat it as is. No need to go makin' dough outta flour and ruinin' mashed potatoes by wrappin' it 'round it. S'a waste of cheese, too, addin' it in.”

You clicked your tongue and carefully took the pan from the hot fire, and placed it onto a rag on the counter as to not burn the pristine laminate countertop. You turned to Daryl, your eyebrows raised questioningly. “Be honest with me right now, Dixon. Have you ever actually had Pierogi before?”

Daryl immediately shook his head. “Nah,” he told you, crossing his arms over his chest.

You hummed and nodded, turning to the bowl that had the Pierogi that you had made earlier. You grabbed the lukewarm Pierogi and extended it towards your partner, laughing at the face he made at it.

“Twój wyraz twarzy jest przeuroczy,” you mused, laughing harder at the confused face he made. “Before you ask what I said, it's not important. What is important, however, is you trying this. It's delicious and I can't have you thinking that eating squirrel meat is better than this.”

Daryl reluctantly took the dumpling, holding it gingerly between his fingers. “'Least m'familiar with squirrel meat. Know it ain't gon' taste any different each time.”

“Nie możesz zawsze jeść tylko wiewiórek,” you muttered under your breath, before shaking your head and sending Daryl an amused smile. “Daryl, stop being so stubborn. Po prostu spróbuj.”

Daryl grumbled something under his breath before looking at you again. “Nie chcę.”

“As impressed as I am that you understood me and that you managed to reply, saying something in my language won't sway me.”

Daryl shot you a small smirk. “Worth a shot,” he replied, before hesitantly taking a bite of the Pierogi.

You watched in amusement as a whirlwind of emotions played on his face. First skepticism, then surprise, and then he looked impressed. He practically devoured the rest of the dumpling in hungry bites, reaching for another one in the bowl, but you stopped him.

“Nope. I can't allow you to do that, misiu. The rest is for tonight,” you told him with a smile. “I can't disappoint Carol now, can I? She was eager about this the whole day. You only just came around about this. I'd rather give these to someone who's had faith in me from the start.”

“C'mon, tha' ain't fair,” Daryl groaned. “Merle once said tha' these things tasted like crap. Went into vivid detail 'bout how it tasted, too. Can't blame me fer not trustin' it.”

You giggled and shook your head. “You should've had more trust in me. I've been making these things since I was a kid. I'd never intentionally make you eat something bad,” you told him, before placing the lid onto the bowl and handing it to the archer. “Here, why don't you go ahead and take this to Carol? She's expecting us.”

Daryl took the bowl from you. “What about ya, robaczku? RJ and Judith are waitin' fer their auntie.”

You smiled at the nickname he had picked up from you, and motioned towards the dumplings still in the hot pan. “I'm just gonna wrap these up and put them away. I'll be right behind you.”

Daryl nodded and leaned forward to place a quick kiss to your lips. He soon pulled away and started walking away, calling to you over his shoulder. “Jus' so ya know, those are mine. Judith and RJ dun' need to know 'bout those.”

You laughed and called out to him. “So, are Pierogi's better than squirrel meat?”

Daryl paused at the doorway and contemplated on how to respond. He smirked to himself as he looked down at the bowl in his hand. “I'll let the kids decide tha', sunshine. I love ya.”

“I want an answer from you!”

The door shutting was the only response you got in return. You looked down at the pan and shook your head. There was never a dull moment with your beloved huntsman.

“Ja też cię kocham, you asshole,” you mused with a laugh.

➳༻❀✿❀༺➳

Translations:

Kochanie: Honey.

Twój wyraz twarzy jest przeuroczy: Your facial expression is adorable.

Nie możesz zawsze jeść tylko wiewiórek: You can't always only eat squirrels.

Po prostu spróbuj: Just try it.

Nie chcę: I don't want to.

misiu: teddy bear.

robaczku: love bug.

Ja też cię kocham: I love you too.

[frownyalfred]

So....*bludgeons you with borderline is omegaverse lite stick* outside of ASOHverse, what do you think the batfam's dynamics are? This is ignoring ships and ship potential, just if you were writing a fict about platonic or pack dynamics heavy batfam, what would you put their various dynamics as?

Oh gosh, okay, platonic batfamily...

Bruce - I really like him either as an alpha or an omega, no in between needed. He's so intense and territorial and I think that lends itself to both ends of the dynamics spectrum. He's also a natural born leader, as well as a very patient teacher. Either way, platonic a/b/o fics with him should lean more into those characteristics and less into the negative stereotypes (mean pack alpha, overly emotional omega, etc)

Dick - I like him as a very relaxed alpha or a strong and determined beta. He's the glue in so many versions of a Batfamily, not just packs. He needs to be good at compromising, and not devolve into any posturing that alphas might be doing in the pack. Dick's greatest strengths really lie in his emotional stability and maturity. I don't love when people automatically make him an omega because of that.

Jason - alpha. It really fits his nature to be more headstrong and brash outwardly, stereotypical alpha characteristics that are sometimes true. It also makes sense for his relationship with Bruce as the second Robin -- he'd butt heads with alpha OR omega Bruce as the first alpha in the pack if Dick was a beta. I love writing him as an omega though, as you know.

Tim - he's an interesting one. I really think he could be any dynamic, though I would generally lean more towards alpha or beta rather than omega. I read a fic recently with alpha Tim and omega Kon and it made me realize how frequently we just make him an omega and call it a day. I think a more restrained, calculating alpha makes the most sense to me. AND that means he can butt heads with Damian...

Damian - alpha. He wants to play at being pack alpha and this works even if Bruce is an alpha. Jason gets irritated but (wisely) thinks he's above a pup. Tim and Damian grate on each other instead. Damian, because he doesn't like a rival alpha's claim on Bruce (esp if he's omega) or perceived attempts to destabilize Bruce's pack (if he's an alpha). Tim doesn't like Damian because, yeah, it's like a 12 year old alpha challenging you out of the blue for a spot in the pack you've fought hard for. Easy friction. Also a great opportunity to write them teaming up and putting those discordant instincts to good use together. (Jason, Tim, and Damian all being alphas makes sense if Dick is the beta glue, Alfred is beta glue, and Bruce is the pack alpha/omega trying to keep everyone sane).

Cass - alpha or beta. I actually really like when people write her as an alpha people mistake for a beta. I know this gives Bruce a whole pack of alphas at the end of the day, but it kind of makes sense for vigilante work? Or at least it does in my head.

Steph - beta. She's Dick's backup on pack dynamics and a good balance to alpha Tim and Damian. She's more vicious than Dick and takes no shit. She butts head with Bruce more than any alpha, save Jason. She and Jason bond over this. Jason doesn't get tense around her because she's not an alpha or omega.

Alfred - beta. Truly the ultimate caregiver and healer. He is all of the beta stereotypes in one package. He's less interested in soothing Bruce's emotions than Dick is, though. He's tough love for Bruce's michegas, whether it's alpha or omega.

Duke - omega, hot take. Confident, quietly stepping into the pack dynamics and is welcomed almost instantly, and not just because he's omega. He has an entire pack of alphas behind him but doesn't rely on them for anything if he can do it himself. He bonds well with omega Bruce in my mind -- they have specialized training not just for his powers, but for those instincts no one else in the pack really has. People are drawn to him (like when he just started out gathering kids) because he embodies the omegan quality of defending the territory/pack.

[shiro-s2e2-erukinzu]

Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 98... You have been warned...! 👌

[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]

This chapter literally broke me in more ways than one...

This chapter is a continuation of Martha and Henderson's backstory from Mission 97, so let's talk about it shall we...?

So when I opened this chapter and saw a radio...:

...I literally got PTSD from seeing it because it immediately made me think of the first part of Mission 62, Twilight's (or rather [REDACTED]'s) past, so I knew that things were about to take a turn for the worst...! 😔

On the same page, Martha asks Henderson what he's doing here and he tells her that there's a personnel shortage, so he got to graduate early. Then, Henderson turns off the radio and says this:

This is just... It's so sad, but true that things, like radios, that were once made for helping others can easily be used to spread hatred and cause harm... It's just not right... 😞

Moving on, after being separated for so long, Martha and Henderson were able to have another tea party like they used to have, but it wasn't long before things started to take a turn... During a school safety drill, Martha asks Henderson if he's excused from being drafted, and he tells her...:

"It may be that even education is powerless now."... 😟

Hearing Henderson say that hurts my soul... But nothing could prepare me for the next few pages...

Why... Why do things like this have to happen... 😣

No, things like this SHOULDN'T happen...! Innocent people dying because of senseless violence, because of war, it's just not right nor is it fair...! And I will always stand by that...!!

Continuing on, Henderson finds out that Martha is volunteering for The Women's Defense Auxiliary and he's upset by this. She tells him that the ballet company she was a part of is going to disband and her dream will go with it, so he scolds her again and she tells him this:

My heart hurts just seeing the anguish in face and in her words...!! 💔

And the heart break continues because Martha overhears that Henderson is going to be married off and she is devastated... But while in tears, she overhears that the dance is coming again, so this is her last chance to tell him how she feels...!

At the dance, Martha approaches Henderson:

Martha looks so cute here...!! 💗 I was so excited to see them dance together, that when I turned the page, something unexpected happened... I started to cry...:

Seeing them happy, even though just for this moment, it reminded me why I love Spy X Family so much... It's for these moments, the moments that most of S×F's cast is fighting for, the moments that we all should strive for...!! There are just so many bad things going on in the world that it makes wish that moments like these could be the norm for all instead of some...!! I just don't understand why must there be so much hatred and malice in the world... Why can't we all live in peace instead of conflict...

Gosh, I'm even crying now just writing all of that... I should probably start to wrap this up...!

So, just as Martha is about to confess to Henderson, this happens...:

...and the chapter ends... 💔😭💔

And that was Mission 98; truly such a heartwreching chapter to read, just like Mission 62 was...

I don't even know what else to say except thank you to Endo... Thank you for making this manga, for getting me feel all of these feelings, for giving me the opportunity to share these feelings with everyone that loves this series as much as I do...!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart...!! 💗

And thank you to all of you that reads this post...!! There's a lot of things that I wish that I could do to make the world a better place, but if this post inspires you in anyway, that's good enough for me...!! 💗

Sorry for rambling, but anyway... Until the next Mission; take care, be safe out there and thank you for reading...!! 🤗 Later!! 💗

[melrodrigo]

Writer - V.C.

Vada Cavell x Fem!Reader

Summary: Vada finds out you write fan fiction one day…lots of feelings emerge.

Warnings: suggestive themes

Word Count: 1k+

A/N: This felt a little illegal to write

"YN...are you in love with me?"

Jenna caresses your cheek; tender as can be. You feel your breathing start to quicken, heart rate rising at an alarming rate.

You don't think you can take much more...you connect your lips to hers, desperate, it feels like-

"Hey do you want Chinese or Thai for dinner?" Vada asks as she swings open your bedroom door.

You slam the face of your computer down in a panic. You try your best to act normal, elbow resting on the desk; chin on your hand.

"Why are you doing that with your hands?" Vada asks, gesturing to your weird position; tiny smile on her lips.

Well, I guess that didn't work.

You stay silent as she strolls up to you, walks behind your desk and places her hands on your shoulders.

"Me? This is my normal face, don't know what you're talking 'bout." You answer, trying as best as possible to sound nonchalant.

It's a terrible attempt at a lie, and Vada sees right through it.

"Mhm...I think you're lying."

She rushes forward and takes your computer in her arms. You gasp and get up after her, silently starting to freak out internally.

Sure, Vada knows some pretty dark secrets of yours; hell you've been with Vada through the depths of Tartarus and back. Somehow this is worse than all of that combined.

Admitting you write fan fiction? You'd rather die in a heap of dog shit.

She's smiling wide now, teasing. She hasn't opened up the computer yet, and you pray to god to help you get out of this situation.

You don't have time to formulate a very fool-proof plan, so you resort to the only thing that you know works.

You come at her so quick it probably looks like an attack to an outsider. You cup her cheeks, pull her in for a fierce kiss.

You back her up against your bedroom wall, until she hits it with a loud thud. She's opening her eyes now and looking at you, eyes lust filled and wanting.

You've got her right where you want her.

Her grip loosens on the computer, and you don't waste the opportunity. You're madly grabbing the computer, yanking it out of her hands and running out into the hallway  of your house.

Once you actually get to the hallway though, you realize you don't have a part two to this plan.

What now? Hide the computer and kiss Vada till she forgets about it?

As tempting as that sounds, you know it wouldn't work. When Vada wants something, she gets it.

You don't hear her until she snakes her arms around your waist, effectively locking you in. You forgot she could be very sneaky when she wanted to, like a short little ninja.

She hums, "Now, at first I was going to just tease you for a bit and then give it back to you...but now you've peaked my interest."

She turns you around, hands on both sides of your hips; keeping you from running.

"What's got you looking so flustered huh? I should be the only one that can do that." She huffs, frowning.

You don't give up, giving Vada those pleading eyes you reserve for special occasions.

It doesn't seem to work.

"Vada don't, please-" You protest as she grabs your computer from your arms and opens it up.

It's silent for a minute or two as she reads the contents of the page.

You can't take it anymore, you want to sink into the floor and dissolve into thin air.

Whining, you break away from her grasp and plop down onto the couch; defeated.

Vada giggles first, then she lets out a full cackle as she continues to read.

You hold up a hand to her face, "Don't you dare say anything. I'm embarrassed enough to last many many lifetimes."

She completely disregards your statement, looking at you with pure excitement in her eyes. It's an adorable sight, despite the circumstances.

"You wrote Jenna Ortega fan fiction?" She asks, and she sounds almost in disbelief.

You bury your face in your hands, groaning.

"Wait...she kind of looks like me. Or I kind of look like her, oh my god is that why you agreed to be my girlfriend?" She asks, mouth open.

You roll your eyes internally; get up from your seat. There's a look in her eyes, she's delighted yes; but she also looks a little jealous.

You bite back a smirk, now this was going to be fun revenge.

"Maybe." You shrug, moving further into the apartment.

Vada follows you hurriedly, tripping over her own feet. She was such a clumsy girl sometimes.

"What do you mean 'maybe'?" She asks, eyebrows furrowed.

"Exactly what it sounds like it means." You reply, grabbing a grape out of the fridge and popping it into your mouth.

"So you didn't fall for me because of my witty charm and amazingly good looks?"

You smile a bit, tilt your head so she doesn't see it.

"For one of those qualities, sure."

You can almost picture the pout on Vada's face as you hear her stomp once. It's a habit she likes to do that when she's mad, stomps once; arms crossed.

She always looks like a six year old that's gotten her favorite toy taken away.

It's the cutest thing.

You don't relent, you enjoy teasing her a bit. Sway slightly on your heels, waiting for her to make the next move.

You half expect her to just walk away and sulk, but it must be your lucky day; because suddenly Vada's wrapping her arms around your waist and pressing her whole body against yours.

"You know what I think? I think you're bluffing." She whispers into your ear, biting your earlobe as she finishes the sentence.

You almost choke on the grape you're eating as you feel her press her lips to your neck; you tilt your head up to give her more access.

She leaves sloppy kisses from the spot behind your ear to your shoulder, and when you think you might be getting lucky; she stops.

"That's fine. I'll get you to admit it."

And then she pulls away, skipping out of the kitchen like nothing had just happened.

You huff as you follow her out.

"God, why did I have to get such a stubborn girlfriend?"

[spacelessbian]

DWP AU idea

idea for Mirandy White House AU which I would love to read, but can't write because I haven't finished a fic in about million years and this one would need to be long and complex

I just need to get it out of my system before I start writing it and abandon it after seven pages as usual. But maybe it could inspire someone?

here goes...

Miranda Priestly is a senator with a little bit of a reputation among staffers in Washington. Basically everybody and nobody wants to work for her, because she is tough and mean on purpose, but if you endure, she will help your career. If you're competent, that is.

Andy Sachs studies law or politology (or something like that) and she ends up interning for senator Priestly's office during one of her summer breaks. She learns a lot but ultimately decides she never wants to work for or with Miranda ever again. She develops a little crush on her but it's just a summer thing, it will pass. And it does, for a while.

Three or four years later, Andy gets her first job in Washington. Because she doesn't come from a wealthy or connected family, she doesn't have many options, especially since she is not that great at networking, so she ends up working for and elderly senator, who everyone knows will retire sooner than later. Still, Andy appreciates the opportunity and embraces the whole thing.

Meanwhile Miranda Priestly is no longer a senator, but a recently elected vice president, currently not in a great position as she is going through a rather public divorce. Andy follows the whole thing way more thoroughly than she would admit.

Andy's boss announces his retirement about a year into Andy's employment and she goes to a bar to drown her sorrows. There she crushes into Serena and Emily. She met Emily during her internship and Emily, just like in the movie, doesn't like Andy very much. Serena is happy to socialize however and after hearing about Andy's job situation, she tells her there is an opening in Miranda's office staff. The office being in the White House, Andy jumps at the opportunity, especially after being told that she wouldn't actually interact with the veep directly much if at all.

This works for a while. Miranda is way too busy to notice Andy, or so Andy thinks. It seems that Miranda doesn't remember Andy at all, which Andy thinks is great news. Andy enjoys working with the rest of the staff and is soon noticed for being good at what she is given to do. She eventually gets a promotion to a different position - a position much closer to the veep than originally expected. This also turns out to be fine. Andy is not as clueless as she was in canon, so Miranda has less reason to berate her. In fact they start getting closer...

About a year into Andy working in the White House, there is a party. Maybe a celebration. What ends up happening is Andy and Miranda kiss. It is very mutual and it rocks Andy's world. And then, literally the morning after this monumental event, Andy wakes up to the biggest news: the president resigned and Miranda Priestly will take his place. Suddenly the impossible romance became even more impossible.

That's all, that's the pitch.

Additional idea: Nigel could be Miranda's friend (not her staff), maybe he hopes to become her veep, but she appoints the (absolutely American) rival politician Jacqueline Follet instead to keep her in check or something? That could be nice. Anyway. If anyone could write something like this for me, that would be great lol.

[hozierandco]

Callum Turner x Reader - The match-maker (Pt. 1)

AN: A few months ago (oopsie), someone requested that I write about Y/N meeting Callum Turner through Austin Butler, a common friend. TW: none except maybe drama regarding past relationships. No smut.

I've changed the set from L.A that was originally requested to New York but it's only to squeeze in gowns and a red (pinkish?) carpet. Part 2 will be up very soon.

If you have any requests, do send a message, I love receiving them. I take requests on Hozier, Callum Turner and Robert Pattinson mostly but feel free to contact me for whoever :)

_________________________________________________

Y/N could count on Austin to get her through ups and downs. Ever since they had met in primary school back in Anaheim, they had grown a strong relationship. They had been through so much together and considered each other to be like brother and sister. When Y/N was not at Austin’s, then it was Austin being at Y/N’s house. 

If at some point, they had thought of getting together as they knew each other so well and had grown out to be beautiful young people besides being beautiful souls, they had abandoned the idea as they cherished their friendship too much for any of the drama. That being said, they LOVED talking about their more or less chaotic experiences when it came to the subject of relationships. Austin had far more luck on that one than her as, after being with Vanessa Hudgens for so long, he had found his significant other responding by the name of Kaia Gerber. 

Kaia was great to her best friend and Y/N sensed that she was ready to commit to such a relationship as she noticed the two blooming. For years, Y/N had nourished disastrous relationships with men, between those who cheated on her, those who needed a nurse rather than a lover and those who just ghosted her. Austin had always been there to support her through break ups and was ready for her to meet someone new that she could trust. It pained him to see her feeling less and less self-confident because of the attitude of some jerks.

*** On the set of Masters of the Airs. Newland Park, February, the 14th of 2022 ***

Austin had begun working on an upcoming TV show in which he was fulfilling one of his boyhood’s dreams of becoming a pilot. It was one of many perks of becoming an actor and he had the chance to fulfill that dream with his colleagues that he had learnt to call his friends. Among them, he mostly loved working with Callum Turner.

He had seen him in productions such as War and Peace and Emma but never had the opportunity to work with him, nor to meet him. Since the beginning of the show’s filming, the two of them had become good friends, sharing most of their time on and off set together.

They found themselves to have many shared interests but what Austin liked the most about his colleague and friend was his integrity. He had not met a humble actor like him in a while and it was a fresh view for him who had gotten used to obnoxious people in the industry. 

Austin did not think of Callum to be a great match for Y/N from the beginning, nor in fact did he think of taking the role of a match-maker at all. But it struck him on a strange day, in February of 2022. Well, to put some context there, it was Valentine’s Day and Austin hated not having the opportunity to spend it with Kaia. He grunted all day about this missed chance to which Callum, always so light-hearted, made him aware that he could be happy to have a Valentine to wish it to.

Callum was not the sort of man to talk about his personal life to anyone but he had known Austin for the past seven months. He felt as though he was ready to share more information about him, such as his traumatic past when it came to dating. And of course, that resonated with what Austin was hearing from Y/N. 

By 2 pm London time (6 am L.A time), Austin was trying to comfort Callum about the fact he had no Valentine to celebrate while by 9 pm London time (1 pm L.A time), Austin was receiving a text from Y/N complaining about not having a boyfriend to go on a date with. It did not take much thinking for Austin to come up with a plan.

In the next few weeks, he tried to convey some hints towards Callum, letting him know that his best friend was the greatest person he had ever met while simultaneously texting Y/N about how excited he was to be playing with no less than Callum Turner.

Mind you, Y/N had already heard of that name somewhere. It rang a bell but she did not know much about his filmography and quite frankly, did not bother looking any further than that. She was just happy that her best friend could play with someone that he apparently was fanboying over.

And Callum… What is there to say? He was completely oblivious about those hints that Austin made more and more obvious. It was as though he did not think to be worthy of her if she was as great as Austin described her to be.

Austin was convinced that the two should give it a go as Callum expressed interests for things Y/N was crazy about or that time when he mentioned that he had a dog that was looking just like Y/N’s childhood dog. And yeah, lots of people have a dog growing up and like music and photography but Austin was a sucker for a good love story. Screw that, he would be a match-maker, he decided as the Met Gala was near. He had to do something about it.

*** Met Gala. New York, May, the 2nd of 2022 ***

Finally, Austin had gotten back from the set of Masters of the Airs for a stay in New York. He was determined to enjoy his night at the Met Gala along with his girlfriend and had insisted that Callum join him, letting him know that it would do him good to go on a trip and forget about yet another date gone wrong.

It did not take much convincing as Callum was tired of staying in England for so long and had not seen New York in years because of Covid. Though he was not invited to the Met Gala, he was more than happy to attend it vicariously through his friend and his friend’s girlfriend. 

It was somewhat more difficult to convince Y/N to come to New York as she was a girl from the West who only came to the East in case of an emergency. The Met Gala surely was no emergency from her but Austin could not let go of his plan that easily. 

If there was something Y/N cared truly about, it was Austin of course but also her career as a photographer. And though she personally had no intention of following the Met Gala, Austin had made calls here and there to squeeze a spot as one of the official photographers of the event.

Y/N had repeatedly asked Austin not to go full-on nepotism with her as she saw him getting famous. She wanted her career to be defined only by her work and not by the people she counted as friends so when Austin told her the opportunity he had ahead of her, she first scolded him for that but it also was clear that she had no job offer as huge as this one. 

She made him promise that it would be last time he interceded in her career while thanking him for the occasion. She packed her suitcase and left to the airport.

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Trust [K. B]

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

wc: 7.8k

summary: something goes wrong with a heist and Kaz's anger lashes out at you, only later realizing it's not for the reasons you thought.

A/N: I feel like it took me literally YEARS to write this. Someone requested the central idea but I decided to expand a bit and since in anon he mentioned that they like hurt/comfort I hope I have achieved it. I hope you like it, thanks for reading!

warnings: trauma (again)

taglist: @be-lla-vie @milkshake0 @ladespedidas

As soon as you stepped foot inside The Slat, you felt enormous relief to think that you could finally get some rest. The day before, the boss had told you that it was necessary to recover something and had drawn up a general outline of how things would be carried out, so to avoid mistakes, instead of sending just one group, the whole team would go. But at a certain point things had gone wrong and then the whole mission had gone awry. You were scared and everyone else was scared, but you knew that Kaz was probably the most upset about it. He hadn't spoken to anyone since you had to flee the mansion.

“Well, I declare that a resounding failure. Good night, my friends,” Jesper said, holding his side with a wince. Wylan was at his side to catch him in case the pain buckled his knees.

You sighed, defeated, and started walking towards the stairs to take a shower to remove all traces of dust, blood, and shame that you had impregnated on your skin, however, Kaz's cane stopped hitting you in the stomach, blocking your way and suffocating you at the same time.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, his voice raspier than usual. You asked yourself if he was referring to your plans, which he obviously couldn't know about, and why he was upset, but it didn't take anything more to get an answer, "What the fuck was that in the mansion?"

Oh, that is what he meant. 

To recap a bit, your goal that night was to recover a few bags of cash that a new gang at The Barrel had stolen but originally belonged to the Crow Club, i. e you guys. It was a payment for an exchange that Kaz had made days ago with art supplies or something, it was a business that none of you were very involved in.

The black-haired man knew the place where it was kept (he always seemed to know the whole city like the back of his hand) and so he had drawn up a pretty solid plan with which you could get away with it. Regularly his plans contemplated in the most opportune way each of your abilities: guns, stealth, the Grisha qualities, strength, chemicals, and the skills with your hands in which you surpassed the man. It was almost like something in you and your friends used to joke that your hands were a kind of magnet for everything shiny, although those same hands also worked perfectly to use a pick and give access to many places.

Things were going well that night, until you had to make a last-minute decision when you found out that an unknown person was in the place and you wanted to get them out of there so they wouldn't be in the crossfire. That was the 'certain point' I had mentioned before, where everything got screwed up. It was about a poor and defenseless servant girl who started screaming like crazy when she saw you and although you tried to calm her down that was enough to draw the attention of the guards, who came towards you to capture you. And since you were very busy struggling with two armed goons, you couldn't fulfill your part of the plan, which was to open the vault where the money that you were going to steal was. It had been a rather unfortunate chain of events.

"Kaz, you know I didn't mean to…"

"Are you deaf, then?" he interrupted you, ignoring your attempt at justification. He took a step towards you, limping a bit due to the lack of a cane, and then you could see the expression on his face.

You'd only seen Kaz this angry once and the poor man who caused it was already resting in peace, so you cringed in on yourself like a scared little bird.

"Or why didn't you do what we agreed?" you didn't know if he wanted a verbal answer, but even if he had, what could you say to that? It was more than obvious why you had done it "If there is a plan, it is because that plan must be executed as I have said, if not, then what would it be?"

"I shouldn’t…"

"No, you shouldn't," he interrupted again, speaking louder than usual to look imposing. And boy he was doing it. “That was the stupidest thing you've ever done, and all for a damn maid? What were you thinking?

"I wanted to help her"

"Oh really? And how did she thank you? Yelling at the guards to come to get you! Did you think about that before acting? Do you ever consider the consequences?” his voice didn't drop in volume, but rather rose gradually with each word that came out of his mouth.

You were in a panic, somehow strangely having the strength to meet his angry eyes, for you didn't think he would start saying such things to you in front of everyone else, who had been silent since the exchange had begun. You tried to think of anything to defend yourself, but even if you found the right argument you knew you couldn't outsource it due to nerves.

Even with your devoted silence, Kaz did not seem satisfied and he continued speaking.

“You had to follow simple orders: wait for the signal and open the vault. Everyone stayed in their positions. Was it very difficult for you to do that?”

"Kaz, I don't think…" Jesper started to say, trying to help him out of the situation, but he fell silent as he watched the black-haired boy turn his head to look at him. It was true, you guys hadn't seen Kaz in that state more than a few times and even the gunslinger, who loved you immensely, thought it wiser to keep silent if he didn't want the opponent's anger to lash out at him.

"Look at Jesper," he said close to your face. If he hadn't been so averse to touching you, you were sure he would have held your face to keep your gaze on him, because by this point your eyes were cloudy and you were trying to focus on anything other than the conversation “He's hurt. You are hurt. Imagine what would have happened if we hadn't been able to get out in time or if Inej hadn't come to your rescue, do you think those men would have tempted their hearts before killing all of us? Of course not! There's no room for charity here because until that servant was in real danger, she wasn't your problem. You behaved stupidly and those actions affected all of us” Kaz fell silent and you thought that was it. You were with your arms crossed, perhaps as an unconscious act of seeking protection, not daring to look at him.

But he took a few seconds to examine you and then said something else:

It is your fault that we are now in this state; without a single penny in our pockets.

The words your fault, and without a penny were the cause of a tug across your chest. It was useless to hold back the tears that had already treacherously begun to slide down your cheeks and that you wished you had the strength to wipe off with the sleeve of the jacket you were wearing.

In all the time you had belonged to the crows he had never spoken to you like that. There had been disagreements, of course, and he'd even called you out for neglecting some tasks he'd given you, but those kinds of hurtful words were reserved for criminals from whom he extracted information or threatened. That's why you were so upset, because Kaz was terrifying when he put his mind to it and you'd just had the misfortune to experience it firsthand.

The rest of your friends were also perplexed by what had just happened, since most of them had found your outburst in the mansion quite justifiable, since it was an innocent life that you had tried to protect, a very present code always.

The other part that had managed to break you was knowing that the man's annoyance was actually due to the money you had caused him to lose rather than the fact that you or someone else had been in danger. Or at least that was what you had understood by the final sentence.

The silence was sepulchral, no one even dared to breathe harder than usual for fear that he would take them as the next victim, and only a small sob that escaped you broke the silence. You hoped that would soften Kaz’s expression a bit, but he didn't flinch.

A part of you thought, due to shock, to apologize to him, but you weren't even able to. You just stood in the middle of that room under his questioning gaze.

When your body finally wanted to react, you walked directly to the stairs to go up to your room, without even looking back, collapsing on the floor and crying as soon as you closed the door behind you. You didn't even think about taking a shower anymore and the burning pain in your ribs, which you hadn't mentioned to anyone about, intensified. You had to cover your mouth with your hand so that the crying wouldn’t reach the floor below and you felt that everything around you was spinning.

You stayed in that position for a few minutes, which felt like hours, until someone opened the door and stuck their head inside. It was Nina, who had surely gone of her own free will but also partly at the request of others. She could hear your erratic heartbeat and your lungs struggling to hold some air, so it didn't take her more than a second to kneel next to you to wrap her arms around you and start running her hand up and down trying to comfort you. She offered to heal you and you agreed, but through it all you thought that even though the blows on your body burned like hell, what was definitely causing you the most pain was the wounds you just received to your heart.

After that night you could say that the tension in The Slat could be cut with a knife. You thought that the others were also going to blame you for the failure of the heist, with justifiable reasons, but you were pleasantly surprised to find out that this wasn’t the case, since they all told you so explicitly as soon as they had a chance. Matthias, who was most of the time the most mature among you, told you that sometimes things went wrong and that at least he was glad that you were okay; with Nina there, the physical problems could be solved and the money would be recovered somehow. But, to your surprise, it was Kaz they weren't very happy with.

You never meant to start a mutiny against the boss, God knows you didn't, but as much as you tried to change their minds, they were distant and reluctant to talk to Brekker. And Kaz, in turn, didn't exchange a single word with you.

Jesper and Nina were the ones who showed it the most, the first one kept looking down at your friend as if he could make him combust spontaneously with his eyes while the woman simply didn't say anything, as if he were invisible. The rest of the group hadn't cut off the communication suddenly, but it was evident that they weren't entirely happy with the black-haired man's behavior.

Although there were few occasions when the seven of you, or the majority, coincided in the same space, since you were always doing other things around The Barrel or the club.

You weren't the proud type, yet you refused to offer an apology for something that wasn't wrongdoing and finally stopped feeling guilty for applying this silent treatment to thinking that Kaz deserved it. Just a little. Also, if he didn't bother to talk to you, everything would be easier for you, because, although you still did some general tasks, most of the time you spent locked in your room, doing anything to entertain yourself.

If you looked at it from the outside, unaware that you guys were a bunch of criminals living in the same horrible building, that looked like a real teenage fight. But you couldn't blame yourself too much, because you were teenagers.

Sometimes, when he didn't notice, you watched him from afar. You analyzed his expression, his posture, his eyes, anything that would help you figure out if he really cared about your absence or the silence of others. You tried to believe that he was in a bad mood (more than usual) because he wanted you to not be angry anymore, but after a long time you always came to the same conclusion; he was inscrutable, shielded in that armor that you highly doubted could shatter, much less by you. Sometimes you wished you could know what Kaz was thinking so you could figure out if he had noble motives for acting the way he did or if he was just a heartless jerk. And, although your desire to read minds wasn’t fulfilled, you began to bet more on the latter the day a new job was presented. It was, now, a kind of revenge against the men of the opposing gang (who had stolen your business payment in the first place), however, when the meeting took place you noticed that he was skipping a detail. 

"And what will Y/N do?" Jesper had asked, going ahead of you, after listening carefully to the plan and realizing that you weren't contemplated anywhere. You expected Kaz to say you were going to stick with him, even if it was so he could keep an eye on you and avoid another outburst, but when he shook his head you were completely offended.

"She's not coming"

It was one thing to have received a scolding for the mistake made and quite another to be removed from the team just like that. And that Kaz had responded as if you weren't there made you feel completely humiliated and, consequently, angry.

"Great, so now it turns out that I'm grounded," you said sarcastically. It was the first time in weeks that you had spoken directly to Kaz and he just looked at you sideways for a few seconds, as if examining you, which made your blood boil even more "Are you really going to leave me out?" you continued, now with more seriousness than before. You wished he dared to face you with an answer, and you were surprised at how quickly this happened.

"It’s not personal. This time it’s better that you stay” was all the explanation he offered you. The way he said it made it clear to you that it wasn't up for discussion and you felt powerless, but before any of your friends could say anything in your defense, you decided to take it the best way.

If Kaz didn't want you around, you weren't going to make him. If you didn't receive even a measly part of the money from now on, you didn't care. If it was true that you had screwed up, you weren't sorry for anything and you weren't going to give in so easily, despite the love and respect you felt for him.

“Good luck then,” was all you said, offering the best fake smile you could have and purposely patting Kaz on the shoulder. He watched you walk away with eyes wide open in surprise, even though you didn't even notice it when you got lost in the hallway, and it was hard for him to keep his composure as he turned around again to clear up any doubts regarding how the crime would be carried out; although he tried to hide it, almost most of the group could tell.

What the hell did Kaz have against you lately? The others had made mistakes countless times and never suffered consequences as harsh as yours, because probably the hardest part had been dealing with the boss's anger and being forced to find a solution for what they had screwed up. You probably would have offered to get the money back yourself if he had let you end the problem, but you couldn't even do that because you knew it would only fan the fires of anger.

So when you left there everyone thought that things had already gone on too long and someone had to point it out to Kaz.

"Is everything clear?" he asked, looking at the crows and receiving a general nod.

We would have to wait until night to work, so once there was nothing more to say, each one dispersed in opposite directions.

“Inej,” Kaz said, not even looking back. He knew she was there, he always knew, as if there was a connection between the two of them "Everything okay?"

“Everyone is where they should be. The carriage is on its way and the streets are free”

"Good"

“But there is something else we need to talk about”

Kaz was afraid it was something to do with you, and he closed his eyes for a moment at the possibility. They were on a roof, he too close to the shore to be able to supervise that the robbery was carried out effectively, and she took a few steps until she reached his side. The two kept looking down for a few seconds, preparing internally for what was coming; talking about feelings was never one of their strengths.

"What would that be about?”

"About who" she corrected him "This discussion with Y/N has already escalated to exacerbated levels, you didn't have to forbid her to come"

"And what did you want me to do?" he muttered, more upset than he would have liked, and he had to take a deep breath before speaking again, “She's… was impulsive and… she doesn't measure the danger she's putting herself in. She is like a child, without conscience or limits”

“We all know that, but you called her stupid. That's very different."

“I don't want her to end up killing herself,” he said, and Inej caught a hint of sincere concern tinging her friend's voice. Kaz hated seeing himself like this, but there was something about her that made him trust her with that part of him. “Y/N acts with her heart, that's the problem. And I worry that she doesn't know how to control it. I don't want anyone to hurt her and she just doesn't cooperate” he sounded desperate, helpless, and then Inej realized how many things were being ignored by the team about the boss's decisions, apparently cruel, but quite considered in the background. It was like… acting badly for the right reasons. Or something like that.

“Well, if you really do this to safeguard her welfare, you should tell her. Because I don't think you're giving him the right message with your actions” Inej told him. Then she decided that she wasn't going to pry into the matter anymore from that point on, wishing that the conversation had been enough to make the black-haired man see reason.

He thought about it for a second and wished he could ask her more, but then he noticed that, as always, she had already vanished into the night.

Kaz tried very hard to focus on the robbery and stop thinking about you or what it would be wise to say to you, but he was having some trouble. In the next hour, to everyone's surprise in general, things went perfectly; there was no guard, just a driver who didn't resist, and they were coming back with some juicy loot. Almost too easy to be true.

Kaz didn't give much thought to the nature of the success they'd just had and they all just set off, their group spirits much better now that things were looking up.

It would be foolish to deny that Kaz had been thinking about how quickly you would have managed to carry out the robbery and also had missed the joking duo that you formed with Jesper, who now had barely looked at the blue-eyed man.

On the way he got a bit withdrawn and was mentally torturing himself about what was the right thing to do when he got home. After thinking it through, he concluded that he should take Inej’s advice and talk to you to fix things. Brekker wasn't used to apologizing, but at least he could explain things to you the way he had with the girl, so that you would understand better and hopefully forgive him for the idiotic behavior he had been displaying for the past few weeks. Although he was still upset, it was worth putting that aside to try.

After going to the club to save the cash they went back to The Slat and when he stood in front of your door he never thought to feel more nervous in life, while he started to ask himself if that was a good idea. Maybe he should just let time wash away your bad face and carry on as before... but he was also aware that that wouldn't happen.

He hesitated for a long time about whether to knock on your door or not, but after a few minutes he finally did and was frustrated when no one answered, despite a strip of light coming through the door grate.

"Y/N, I know you’re there" he tried, but there was no response. Kaz ran a gloved hand through his hair and exhaled in frustration. "Fine, don't talk to me if you want, but that's not going to stop me from coming to tell you what I came to say," he muttered determinedly. Even trying to communicate assertively, he couldn't help but sound rude. “I didn't mean to yell at you like that when we got back from the heist, I just didn't know what else to do. And today I asked you to stay here because it could be dangerous and I'm trying to take care of you because apparently you don't give a damn about your own life, not because I hate you or because I'm upset with you. It's just that…” he was having a hard time talking, so he had to take a deep breath to collect himself a little “I worry about you. And I want you to be okay. Safe"

Kaz was silent, waiting for you to say something, but again there was nothing. He felt so foolish and embarrassed that he even thought his eyes were going to glaze over with helplessness. He was trying his best to go there, but you didn't seem to care, and honestly, he didn't blame you.

His gaze lowered to the floor, the pressing sensation of rejection flooding his chest, and only then did he notice the glow emanating from a section of the floor. With difficulty he knelt to take the substance with his fingers and his glove was stained with a fine powder that gave off an iridescent glow, which until that moment he had not realized he was scattered over various sections of the corridor. And next to that dust, there was a bloodstain.

Kaz didn't even wait for a second to lunge at your bedroom door and yank it open, which he hadn't done before out of respect for your privacy, only to realize that everything in there was turned upside down. There were remains of a smashed nightstand, books scattered on the floor, the bed in disarray, and sporadic stains of blood that he prayed weren't yours. The window was wide open and the white curtain billowed violently in the night air.

Someone had broken into your room and it wasn't hard to put the pieces together to find out what they had broken into. Someone had kidnapped you.

His eyes traveled all over the place looking for something that would give him clues and he decided to start rummaging through the books hoping to find a note, the amount for your ransom, whatever. When he read ‘We're even, Brekker’ written on yellowed paper and signed with the seal of a snake, he felt that his balance was missing.

That's why the robbery of the carriage had been so easy, because they had wanted it that way. Their plan was always to enter The Slat. You were there, alone, and they kidnapped you because Kaz had allowed it. Because in his eagerness to protect you, he had delivered you directly to the enemy.

It was all his fault.

"Jesper!" he screamed, on first impulse. He didn't know if it was difficult for him to get up from the floor due to dizziness or because of the limp “Inej! Wylan! Whoever!" he continued, wanting to get the attention of anyone who could help him. He was in a panic and he was also furious. He would be capable of torturing the men who had kidnapped you in the most horrible ways ever seen, as soon as he found out who they were.

All the people present in the building followed the sound of the boss's wailing and when they observed the state of your room a collective sigh of surprise filled the silence.

"Where is Y/N?"

“I don't know,” Kaz hissed, sounding desperate. That didn't even matter to him anymore "They took her, they set us up"

“We have to find her,” Matthias muttered, and he wanted to hit him for saying something so obvious. But he had to calm down, for everyone's sake.

"There's blood and this in the hallway," said the black-haired man, showing everyone the dust that still glittered on his glove.

"It's a trail," Wylan exclaimed, his features lighting up like when he had an idea. He stepped forward to analyze the sample and then nodded. “I gave this to her, it's a bioluminescent powder we were experimenting with. In theory, when…" he walked around the room as if looking for something until he found a box of matches that you had lying around "it comes into contact with the fire, it emits a blue flame" he explained, going into the corridor and demonstrating the information practically.

There was hope, if they hadn't taken you too far your friends might track you down and rescue you. You had been scared enough to leave a clue because you knew they would look for you.

In that moment Kaz felt so guilty that he had ever even suggested that he doubted your abilities.

“You have to follow it. We have to find where they took her right now” he ordered and, of course, no one argued. Everyone went ahead to get the necessary things to look for you and Kaz leaned against the wall for a moment, breathing slowly in an attempt to contain one of those panic attacks he sometimes felt, not imagining that this would only be the beginning of an awful night. 

And the worst wasn’t over yet.

The crows moved faster and more efficiently than ever before, and within minutes Wylan had figured out how to follow the trail. Sometimes there were long lines through the streets that were lit with a single match, but other times they had to look for them more carefully and that consumed time that Kaz considered vital. Although he wasn't saying anything the others could tell that he was quite upset by the situation, so they did their best. Also, you were part of the group, so they too were extremely worried.

By the time they reached Fifth Harbor, Kaz was already burning all the way down his leg, but that didn't matter to him. They were all out of breath, but that didn't matter. And the trail ended right at the pier, but that didn't matter because they saw in the distance a boat with two robust men, one of them holding a lamp and the other struggling with a girl tied by her hands and legs who was screaming in despair.

It was you and you were yelling Kaz's name.

They rushed to find a boat tied to the dock big enough for the six of them and when, luckily, they found it they jumped on it. Matthias and Jesper were in charge of rowing and the movement did not go unnoticed by the men who had you captured, nor by you.

A feeling of relief swept through you as you realized that the silhouettes approaching you were your friends and you felt that all was not lost. Kaz thought that they had arrived just in time and that calmed him down for a second, but he didn't count on the fact that the man would lift you off the ground and, with a sharp gesture that surprised everyone, he would throw you straight into the sea.

Your cry was drowned out by the roar of the water and the black-haired man's breath caught, while everything around him was spinning again. Until then he realized the position he was in: in the middle of the immensity of the sea, in danger of drowning. It was then that the memories of his brother's body came back to him like needles sticking in and he felt like he might vomit.

Kaz didn't know how to swim and even if he had known how to at some point in his life it was now impossible due to his limping leg. But he wasn't going to let you die. He can’t.

In the midst of the attack, he was dimly aware of what was happening. You were now within safe distance of the other boat which allowed Inej to throw a knife at one of the men and Jesper took it upon himself to put a bullet into the other. In hindsight, Kaz would have wished they had stayed alive so he could take it upon himself to give them a slow and painful death. There was no point in letting the men who had kidnapped you die so mercifully.

The water was dark and they couldn't see anything, but still Matthias was the one who ventured below the surface to find your body, hoping that when he did it wouldn't be too late.

Nina kept her hands up to monitor the beating of both your hearts and the rest stood without saying anything, looking expectantly out at the water that rolled in small waves. Only Kaz's erratic breathing broke the silence of the environment.

A few seconds passed, and when there was no sign of him or you, concern gripped the group. Now there wasn’t only the fear that you wouldn't get out of the water, but also that Matthias wouldn't and thus lose two members of the group. Nina winced when she heard one of the heartbeats slowed down considerably, though she didn't comment on it to the others.

When he finally surfaced everyone was relieved to see that he wasn't alone, even if your body was just an unconscious bundle that he was pulling with difficulty.

They still put you in the canoe and you had your limbs tied with rope, so Inej was in charge of cutting them with a knife, while the others crowded around you to try to see how you were.

“She's not breathing,” Matthias gasped. Nina knelt to try to expel the water from your lungs, but for some reason your body was resisting. If she didn't get the water out of your lungs, the lack of oxygen would permanently affect your brain.

"This isn't working," she snorted after several hand movements.

It was only then that Kaz dared to look at you. You were pale, wet, and a trickle of blood was coming from your forehead and you had some bruises. He never thought that he would feel the same pain that he seized when he traveled to the coast with the lifeless body of his brother.

Wake up, he wanted to tell you, but his voice wouldn't come out. You have to wake up.

Nina kept trying and until he finally saw you jump up to vomit up the salt water, he too felt like he could breathe again.

When you finally finished inhaling the air around you everyone bombarded you with questions to check your well-being and you just nodded to them all, a little dazed and scared. Nina took it upon herself to help with the cut and bruises, while the men took up the oars again to reach the dock.

Kaz was the last to get off the boat and he was also the last to enter The Slat, as if he needed to check that the rest of you had done it, since he didn't want to leave anyone behind again. Never.

“Let me accompany you,” he said. It was the first thing he had said to you after the incident and you were so exhausted that you didn't offer any resistance. When you walked up the stairs and into your room, you thought Kaz would leave without another word, but instead he stood in front of the door.

You looked at him with a neutral expression, trying to understand what he was trying to do.

"You were very intelligent" he began to say "When you left the trail"

"Thank you," you said quietly. Your throat was a bit sore from the water you had swallowed.

"How it happened?" he asked. The trip had made you recover a bit and you were calmer than before, so you didn't mind telling him things.

“They were supposed to be looking for your office, but they saw my light on and thought it would be a better idea to go after the helpless damsel. They got in through the window and… voila,” you said bitterly, gesturing with one hand at the mess around you. “They held me here and tied me to a chair, but the knots were so painful I got free in a few minutes. They interrogated me to ask about things of value or obtain some information, but I didn't say anything. My fighting could irritate them, but I think I really pissed them off when I smashed a vase over the head of one and plunged a knife into the other's leg. Maybe that's why they decided to throw me into the sea”

Kaz was a bit dismayed at how calmly you said things and he wondered if you really didn't care or were just pretending. Although he wanted to say the same things to you that he had said to your empty room a few hours ago, the truth was that remembering it made him feel ashamed. It had been a sincere apology, but he didn't think he could say it twice.

"I'm sorry I put you in danger," he said, stepping forward for more privacy. He watched your reaction to what he said and what he did, hoping that if you were still upset you would show it. But the near-death experience seemed to soften both of you.

"Why apologize? you didn't send those guys. It was just some… being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It could have happened to anyone."

“I know, but maybe if I hadn't asked you to stay here, they wouldn't have hurt you” he admitted and although you wanted to recriminate him for that, you decided to remain silent, feeling curious as to how far he could go with that talk "And if you don't… if you hadn't been smart right now you wouldn't be here”

"But I am" you answered with determination "And that's what hurts me, Kaz, that you doubt me" you expressed. You weren't going to forget so easily what had made you walk away in the first place and you thought it was the right time for him to know what you thought about it “I made a mistake, it's true and I take responsibility for that. But you didn't have to treat me like this."

"I know that too," he hastened to say, "I don't doubt you, I never have."

“It is not noticeable. Today you pushed me aside and you told us that trust is always the most important thing. And although I was stupid, I consider that this behavior is not worthy of making you stop trusting me just like that. You know I didn't do it to screw you over, I just wanted to save her."

“It's not about that woman, I don't care about her. You know that I too would have prevented her from getting hurt if the situation arose."

“Then what is it about? Is it only the mistake of the century if I make it?”

“This is about you, Y/N” Kaz said, pointing at you with his open palm and starting to sound desperate “I got so mad because you were the one who ended up in the hands of the enemy. I hate that you act like that because I care about you too much to allow myself to lose you”

You didn't expect that and he didn't expect to say it either. It was even more embarrassing than what he had refused to tell you in the first place.

He said that he didn't want to lose you and you thought about the meaning of that expression: did he not want to lose what you brought to the team or did he not want to lose your person?

"These weeks I thought you only hated me because I made you lose money"

"Oh, I do hate you a little for that," he said, taking a surprise "Not for the money itself, but for what that money implied" there was no point in keeping secrets, if Kaz had already started to sink then he preferred to do it completely and with dignity “The club is going through some difficulties, Y/N. I sold those things so I could keep it going. Because while our criminal jobs give us some kruge, you know that the main source of income for that group is the Crow Club. Also…” he felt his breath shake and had to take a moment to calm down “I've been thinking about something these past few months. A long time ago you said that you had always wanted to go to university, do you remember?” he asked you and you nodded your head “Jesper had the opportunity, but he is a lost cause, because he prefers this kind of life to having an office job or a quiet home and I respect that. But not you, you ended up here because you had no other options” Kaz was silent, hoping that if you had something to say you would say it now, but then he continued, “And I thought if I gave you some money you would have that opportunity. That way I could get you away from all these Dregs and you'd live the way you wanted. That's why that robbery was important”

You were totally stunned.

You never expected Kaz to have that opinion of you or even care about you to the degree that he had just confessed to you. He had listened to you, had seen beyond the apparent happiness of living in The Barrel to find your true dreams, so forgotten within yourself that you no longer thought you could reveal them to anyone else.

You mistakenly believed that the only thing that mattered to Kaz Brekker was dying suffocated by piles of money, but you had just realized that the true engine of life of the black-haired man was the love he had for that peculiar family that you made up.

“You… you know that's not necessary, right? You don’t have to do it"

"But I wanted"

The gap was less since Kaz had walked towards you and you decided, venturing a bit, to take another step towards him.

"Why didn't you tell us that the club has financial problems?" you asked softly, because you thought there could be no other way to talk to him in a situation like this.

"Because it wasn't important"

"Yes, it is, Kaz" you walked in his direction again. At that distance, if you raised your hand a little, he could reach to take hers "That's the point, you decide to swallow all the problems without talking to anyone and then we have no idea what ails you or why this or that is so important. Jesus, if you had told me that money was so vital, I would have put my life into opening that vault as quickly as possible” it was at that moment that you really regretted what you had done and thought that, if possible, you would have returned in time to listen to him and not just your instincts.

"It does not matter anymore. I can't spend my life telling you all the bad things that happen around here."

“You should do it, Kaz. We are a group and we can't just enjoy the rewards without knowing the sacrifice, stop burdening yourself with that alone” he warned seriously “You take care of all of us, but then who takes care of you?”

His reaction was the same as you had a moment ago: stupefaction. Kaz didn't know at what point in his life he had to become that, but he thought that perhaps Jordie's death was decisive for him to have to fulfill the role of the person he had just lost. To be for others what no one had been for him, so they would not suffer what he had suffered. It was quite an altruistic act if he thought better of it.

But after so many years it was exhausting and he wished he could just fall into someone else's arms to rest, figuratively speaking. And there you were right in front of him, probably the person he loved the most, with an expression that reflected a willingness to listen to what he had to say.

So Kaz thought that, maybe for once, it was okay for him to be vulnerable.

“I had an older brother” he murmured, after a long while and you were a bit confused by the sudden change of subject, but you nodded your head so he knew you were listening “He died during the plague epidemic. And miss him so much"

You knew little, if anything, of the personal life of the man in front of you, so you didn't know how to react to the disclosure of that fact. You imagined a little Kaz, scared and sad because his brother was gone. You didn't think for a second about the horrible things he had to go through and that he, with some luck, would dare to tell you later.

But even with this paltry piece of information you couldn't help but feel enormous compassion. He was human, like everyone else, and he was afraid that death would come to take another person important to him. Now you understood better.

"What was his name?" you asked in a whisper, as gently as possible. Kaz was silent for a moment, reflecting no sentiment, then swallowed.

"Jordie"

You weren't going to ask him any more questions after that, you just looked into his eyes and you knew that this was his way of telling you that he trusted you to keep that shred of his past.

"Well, I think Jordie would be happy to know that now there are six of us who love you as he did" was what you replied. You didn't know if it was the answer he expected, but at least it was the one that had come from your heart. When he looked at you, you swore that his eyes were teary, although later you convinced yourself that it had only been an effect of the light.

"I hope we're fine now" he murmured, regaining his composure, referring to the problems that had existed between you after that discussion.

"Calm down, everything is fine. I know you can't live without me."

"Actually, I've had enough of Jesper seeing me with those murder-eyes."

"Then you noticed," you joked. You were completely exhausted and at that moment you were even more conscious, as if you were going to pass out the next second “Everything is fine” you repeated “I just hope this doesn't happen again. I… will try to be less impulsive. And you have to tell me if something's wrong and we'll figure it out, okay?"

Kaz hummed back and you put on a tight-lipped smile. Then you looked around you to analyze the chaos that had been left by the fight with those men, feeling exhausted just thinking that you would have to pick up the pieces of wood, the books, or clean the stains, and he realized what you were thinking by the look on your face.

“I'll send someone to clean all this up tomorrow, I promise. For now, you just… lie down”

"For the first time, I'm not going to argue with you," you laughed bitterly. Then a yawn invaded you and you felt your eyelids tremendously heavy, which he perceived. Kaz didn't want to leave there, even if you were on the verge of exhaustion, however, he didn't know what excuse to use to stay “Good night, Kaz. You should rest too"

"Yeah, um... I'll do it"

“Good”

There was silence for a few seconds. 

"Have you really forgiven me?" he asked, looking to make sure you weren't upset anymore. You smiled and, amid your delirium from exhaustion, you stood on your toes to kiss him on the cheek. He paled and held his breath, but you didn't notice.

“As much as you have forgiven me for screwing up the mission. Now go and sleep"

Perhaps it was the shock of receiving something like this from you that caused Kaz to practically run out of your room, without even saying goodbye, staying in the hallway for a moment to process things. The speed of the contact hadn't given him time to panic, but that didn't stop him from feeling the pumping of his heart hammering like crazy under his chest and hot cheeks under the memory of your lips on them.

When he locked himself in his room he tried to calm down, when he was taking off his clothes to put on his pajamas he tried again, washing his hands and face, going through paperwork before going to sleep, lying down on the bed, closing the eyes... but nothing worked.

And eventually he fell asleep with the ghost of your kiss haunting him through dreams.

[genericpuff]

Lore Olympus will be officially ending in 2024.

While this is vague both in Rachel's responses (as always) and the actual specific timeline, considering this is the final 'arc' and most of Rachel's arcs rarely go any longer than 12-15 episodes, I have the sneaking suspicion she's going to try to wrap this up by March/April. That's just a prediction, mind you, it could just as well go on throughout the entire year of 2024.

That said, it's wild to see it finally confirmed, like a weight has finally been lifted of our shoulders. Many of us have been speculating on it for a while now that LO would undoubtedly get dragged out as it's Webtoon's golden goose and clearly Rachel's lifeline to the industry.

Lore Olympus has been a part of my life since 2019, and an even larger part of it in the last year and a half when I joined the critical community. It's going to be weird to live in a world where LO just doesn't update.

Of course, as mentioned in the article, there's still the matter of the physical books which are still FAR behind the webtoon version, and the TV show which they swear is still happening (but we all know it's not happening lmao).

So I don't think this will be the end of WT milking it for all its worth, but I am interested to see what happens to WT when they don't have their golden goose on a leash and chain anymore. They've sunk so much money and priority ad space into LO that even other Originals creators can't stand the comic due to how much its undercut their own opportunities. I'm hoping this will be a wake-up call to WT to give more attention to their series that are struggling and deserve to be seen, rather than focus all of their attention into one series that's barely got a pulse to speak of.

Of course, I'm sure people are wondering, "What about the fandom communities? What about antiLO/ULO?"

Listen, this isn't the first fandom I've taken part in, though it's certainly the one I've been the most directly active in with the essays I write and the stuff I do through Rekindled.

But if being in fandoms has taught me anything, it's that it doesn't matter how long a series has been gone. If there are people who still love it - or love to hate it - taking part in discussion, that discussion will continue to thrive. A series existing in hindsight is just as much a reason for participation as an active series existing in the present day. If anything, a series falling into the realm of 'hindsight' can give us the room we need to sit and reflect on what the series actually did, and what we were left with in the end. It's never stopped the folks who still talk about long-ago-completed series like The Office, House M.D., and Avatar: The Last Airbender.

So if you're new to the LO critical community, or asking yourself if it's still going to be "worth it" to take part in the fandom after LO is done - it's as worth it as you make it. There will always be something worth discussing in this fandom if we're wanting to discuss it.

As for me, well... I'm just getting started.

[quasi-normalcy]

If I could reboot Voyager, here are some of the changes I'd make.

Much more serialization. Still mostly episodic, of course, but things that happen in one episode would have lasting repercussions. If the ship gets damaged, well it's going to stay damaged, or they're going to have to figure out how to effect repairs. Maybe have seasonal "big bads", like Buffy.

Play up the initial conflict with the Maquis for the first few seasons, and give the Maquis actual ideological objections to the Federation (a la Eddington on Deep Space Nine), rather than just making them generically rough and tumble. There would be a whole arc where some of the Maquis talk some of the lower-ranking Starfleet officers around to their side on the grounds that Janeway effectively has a dictatorship over them for their entire lives and she's too hidebound and is squandering opportunities to get onside with possible local allies. There'll be an actual mutiny (or at least an attempted mutiny) in the first few seasons, but it will fail because Chakotay (we'll come to him in a minute) opposes it; but the ship will settle into a much more egalitarian social structure nonetheless

Seska will remain on the ship after being unmasked as a Cardassian spy, claiming asylum under the terms of the Federation-Cardassian treaty that created the De-Militarized Zone. Her presence will be a major source of the friction between the Maquis and Starfleet crews, because it turns out that her espionage actually got some of their comrades killed back in the Alpha Quadrant

Give nuance to the Kazon; play up the generational trauma inherent to their backstory, and maybe make Culluh an ambitious but sympathetic empire-builder, rather than just a violent thug

Present the Kazon as more of an actual culture with their own arts and accomplishments, rather than just as Space Gangbangers.

Two waves of despair will rock the ship for several episodes. The first when they've been stranded for a few months and the reality of their situation hits them; the second when they get in touch with the AQ and find out that the Maquis have been exterminated.

Pick an actual indigenous nation for "Chakotay" to belong to and hire actual consultants from that nation for the writing staff. It will presumably be necessary to rename the character accordingly.

Really flesh out the minor characters on the crew: Carey, Ayala, Tal Celes, Suder, Vorik, Jonas, that cosmology grad student on the lower decks who didn't want to be on the ship in the first place. All of them will make the ship feel more like an actual place with the same nine characters doing everything; and when one of them dies, it will hurt.

Relatedly, all of the people who die in the first episode will have names and friendships with the crew, and their deaths will actually mean something.

Explore the comedic and dramatic potential of Starfleet crewmen having to be roomies with Maquis terrorists. I'm thinking some initial "Odd Couple" shenanigans, growing into friendship, with a sort of hurt-comfort romance emerging after they find out that all of the Maquis back in the AQ are dead.

Give Neelix more of a dangerous streak. The first episode made him out to be a shifty conman and the first season established that he had serious PTSD. I want to see more of that Neelix.

Have it take a full season just to de-Borg Seven of Nine. Her character progress is reflected in how many of her implants she has.

Have Seven of Nine push back more on the narrow canons of "humanity" that she's expected to perform; and have it go both ways; maybe instead of it just treating it like a joke when she proposes, for example, that someone try Borg regeneration, they actually take her up on this, and Janeway is accordingly horrified. You could get a neat plot about bodily autonomy out of this.

Establish that the Borg hivemind has developed a sort of "neurosis" around humanity and Voyager, stemming from the fact that they required Voyager's help to defeat Species 8472. This is the Queen motivation for wanting Seven of Nine back in "Dark Frontier"

Kes still ascends, but she hangs around somewhat longer. And she's doing and trying lots of things, rather than just hanging around sickbay most of the time.

Have Seven spend more time with Tuvok; maybe adopt Vulcan philosophy

There are no holodecks for the first few seasons because they need to conserve power. When they finally get them up and running, it's a big frigging deal. Before that, there's a whole plot where someone (Tom Paris) uses the emergency medical holoprojectors to make Sickbay into a holodeck, much to the Doctor's consternation. Janeway, however, allows it for a few hours a day as a means of building crew morale.

They build alliances and trade networks in the Delta Quadrant, and eventually realise that this is home for them now

[late-draft]

I saw some post that said something along the lines of, that Zuko isn't actually a responsible person and that Katara isn't parentified, but instead that it was simply the case of everyone else being in a worse mental state/situation, so Zuko and Katara had the opportunity to do things that are read as being responsible. I'd have to disagree with this analysis:

If you think about it, it really isn't a case of possessing an "intrinsic" trait versus just simply practicing a trait in situations.

It's true that we think of attributes as something permanent that marks a character, we're used to this line of thinking when we fill out character sheets for OCs. But these things are fluid and can change with emotional states of characters. They're not like skills which one either has or has not. So, while it's true that Zuko did a lot of reckless things especially when he was in his villain era such as jumping after Aang, never having a plan for after he captures the Avatar, these are things that impact mostly himself. In many other cases where other people depend on him, he's shown to engage in thinking on how to solve the problems for all of them. While he did endanger his crew at the start of the Storm, he moved back onto the path of rather being safe than sorry. He turns to stealing and provides for himself and mostly for his uncle Iroh during exile. (While this isn't a moral action, it's one that takes care of them.) He writes a letter to Mai to inform her, so he doesn't simply vanish one day. He presses on with training before Sozin's comet, trying to keep everyone focused on what they have to do. So yeah, I'd say he's a responsible person. I don't remember him doing anything reckless after he joins the gaang.

The show itself calls Katara parentified, in dialogue itself, and it isn't framed as a good thing. It's mostly damaging for her. She did develop traits from this that aid her however, such as being level-headed, persistent and courageous! In the Desert, she could have turned to despair too since Aang just flew off or she could have drank the cactus juice too. Instead, we're shown her thought process where she tackles the problem and takes care of everyone despite the immense fear she felt.

Sokka is also a defender, he mostly gets concerned or suspicious when he can sense the group might be in physical danger. He oscillates in when he's being responsible and when not. In S1 he was urging everyone to "stay on track to the North Pole! Avoid delays!" He's again mostly scared of them getting targeted by the Fire Nation. Other times he's drinking suspicious cactus juice and not doing any chores. I'm not fully certain how I'd characterize him volunteering for the NWT force during Siege of the North that was specifically stated its warriors would likely get killed. It's a courageous move, but also NWT is not his home, and he still has to take care of his avatar group. The show's directing made it obvious he volunteered, rather recklessly, because he'd rather die since he couldn't be with Yue.

[penny00dreadful]

Somebody To Love - Part 4

Hey so AO3 went down and that kinda sucked BUT it did allow me to get some writing done soooo... here you go!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 AO3

The two children Steve had sent to replace him were god damn menaces.

Well, maybe not children but they were still so goddamn young.

And they didn’t let him get away with anything. Standing over him with their arms crossed and twin looks of disapproval on their faces like the god-damn Men in Black of babysitters.

He wasn’t, like, under house arrest or anything. He was still able to get his fix whenever he wanted. He was still able to drink himself into oblivion, but they didn’t handle him with as much care as Steve had.

He had numerous opportunities to go out and get laid six ways from Sunday as well but… he wasn’t really feeling it.

Though he refused to pinpoint why.

“You know, this would have never happened if you’d just show me the list.” Eddie crossed his own arms, trying to put as much petulant haughtiness into his tone as he could muster, lying where he landed in the grass of his back garden with his pants around his ankles. At least his underwear had stayed on.

This time.

How did he get there?

Didn’t matter.

That tree was out to get him. Fuck that tree. That tree was no longer his number two favourite climbing tree. It had been bumped down to number eight to go along with the tree that dropped an apple on his head like he was Newton and the tree that had covered him in sticky sap that took forever to get off.

The woman, Max, who perpetually had her red hair in a long braid down her back, cocked an eyebrow at him. “I don’t ever remember telling him he couldn’t see the list." She said with an air of nonchalance, looking over at her co-babysitter. "Do you, Dustin?”

“You know, I think you’re right, Max." Dustin matched her tone. "I think Eddie just assumed he wasn’t allowed to see it and ran with it.”

“Hey, fuck you, man." Eddie pointed up at him. "You're supposed to be on my side. Nerds of a feather.”

"I'm on the side of the truth. Like any good scientist."

"You're a babysitter."

Dustin shrugged. "And I have hobbies."

Max rolled her eyes. “Pull your pants back up like a good little boy and I’ll show you the list.”

“I could fire you on the spot, Red, don’t test me.”

She bent low, placing her hands on her knees so she was looming menacingly over him.

“Do it." She grinned down at him. "I fucking dare you.”

Eddie scoffed. "Whatever." 

But he did still stand, bucking his pants back up.

Despite everything he was loath to admit he really liked those two. They didn't take any of his shit and they treated him like a human person rather than some mythical celebrity they had to bow and scrape to.

He held his hand out expectantly.

“Oh, we don’t have it on us.” Max said, her eyes glittering with malicious glee. “It’s on the kitchen counter.”

“Fuck off 'it’s on the kitchen counter.'”

“No, it is.” Dustin nodded. “We put it there last week.”

“We’re keeping a running tally for how many times you’ve walked past it.”

“I think we’re up to fifteen now?”

Eddie did not stomp his foot. “That’s so not fair! You know I’m off my meds!”

“You’re off your meds because of the amount of recreational shit you imbibe. That’s on you." Dustin poked him in the chest. "Maybe if you were sober for five minutes you’d have noticed it.”

Eddie turned his back on them and started to make his way towards the house. They might have had a point as to why he was off his ADHD meds but Eddie was a stubborn fucker so he’d never admit it to them.

He snatched up the list that he genuinely only just noticed for the first time because it was pointed out to him and eagerly read through Steve’s recognisable handwriting.

It was a lot shorter than he thought it would be but also it kind of covered everything?

Make sure he keeps himself alive.

Don’t let him do stupid shit.

Don’t let him kill himself with:

Alcohol poisoning.

Drug overdose.

Some super fucked up STD.

Eating shellfish by accident again.

Chasing a balloon into traffic or whatever.

If you have to put him in a protective bubble, do it.

Max, if he gets mean, get meaner.

Dustin, if he tries to worm his way out of listening to you by claiming to be ‘cool’, remind him of the time he wore a plain black suit to the Met Gala-

“Okay!” Eddie shouted into the kitchen around him, slamming the list back down with a smack. “Low fucking blow, Steve!”

“I mean, it’s true isn’t it?” Max pointed out, pulling herself up to sit on the counter.

“Listen,” he ran a hand through his hair, keeping his volume high, “It was one time and it was my first Met, I was nervous, alright?! Plus! It wasn’t even a plain black suit, it was Chanel, hello??” He waved his hand around. “It had accessories??”

Dustin leaned his elbows on the counter and rested his chin in his hands. “Steve wore yellow.”

“Yes, I know Steve wore yellow-”

“He wore a beautifully cut little yellow suit with a cape and he wasn’t even there as your plus one,” Max smirked, “he was there as your assistant and he was still better dressed than you.”

“Alright-”

“Rhianna complimented him. Said great minds think alike.”

“She was in nothing but a cape so-” Eddie threw his head back in offence. “Whatever, good luck keeping up with me, children. I’m gonna go find some prawns or some scallops and you two,” he pointed at each of them in turn, “can explain my big fat puffy face to Steve when he gets back in a few days.”

Neither of them were even remotely phased.

Eddie was practically rattling by the time Steve was due to fly back in from… wherever he’d been. Even though he probably wouldn’t see him immediately.

Like, the guy had his own home to go to, his own stuff to get reacquainted with.

His own platonic soulmate to reunite with.

So why would he call over? Steve had his own life. He had no... no obligation to come see Eddie immediately.

And that was fine.

Eddie would see him tomorrow, more than likely.

So it was no big deal.

It was fine.

It had been nearly a month since they’d spoken. It was the longest stretch of time they’d gone apart in… Jesus nearly ten years?

And Eddie had handled it fine. 

He had been so normal about it.

It wasn’t like he’d been missing a limb.

It wasn’t like half his heart had been ripped out and shipped off on a plane to wherever.

Wasn't like he'd been thinking about Steve every day, every night, every spare fucking moment he had.

Why would he?

He was... it was all... everything was fine.

He was sitting in his basement studio, plucking a stream of consciousness on his guitar that sometimes crystallised into something coherent and sometimes was something that was stuck in his head.

He looked like a ratty mess, the same worn out pyjama pants and band tees that had been with him ever since he lived in a trailer park in rural Indiana.

They were comfort clothes more than anything at this stage.

His hair… he couldn’t be dealing with his hair right now, it seemed to be out to irritate him on that particular day. Every time a strand brushed against his neck or his cheek it made him want to crawl out of his skin. He’d yanked it violently up onto the top of his head, but each repeated, frustrated shoving of a stray strand back into the bun just caused more to fall out.

He was trying desperately to distract himself but his blood was itching for… something.

He hadn’t had a good fix in a while, he wanted to be sober and clear headed for when he saw Steve again but the heightened anxiety really wasn’t helping the situation. He didn’t usually get so twitchy when he was sober, but then again, he couldn’t really remember the last time he’d been actively trying to stay away from everything. 

And maybe that shocked him a little more than it should.

Maybe it scared him just the right amount.

But it could easily be a losing battle because there were hidden nooks and crannies everywhere in his house holding some kind of mind altering substance in them. Even on the couch in his studio he could probably reach down in between the cushions and pull out a baggy of pills he'd forgotten down there at some point. He didn’t even know what half the pills he found dotted around were anymore, they could be sugar for all he knew but they were there and they wouldn’t stop whispering to him.

He wasn’t even conscious of what he was playing. It was only when he realised he was muttering lyrics to himself that he figured out what was living in his brain and automatically spilling out around him.

Somebody (Somebody) Ooh, somebody (Somebody) Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Eddie softly snorted to himself, a little self deprecatingly. Oh, the irony, he thought, especially considering-

“That’s my favourite.”

Eddie whipped around to see Steve fucking Harrington leaning against the door of his studio.

He looked, well, there was no word for it other than glowing. His skin was darker, his hair a touch lighter, the dusting of freckles over his nose had exploded in volume and pigmentation and he looked good. He looked so good. 

More than that, it was like he’d brought the sunlight back with him because he’d clearly been somewhere sunny, maybe on a tropical beach somewhere. Somewhere that suited him as a person.

It was like the smell of the ocean entered the room with him.

“Stevie!” Eddie shot up from the couch, discarding his guitar a little carelessly before all but throwing himself at him, arms and legs wrapped around him, clinging on for dear life. “You’re back! You’re here!”

Steve stiffened up momentarily, unusually, before relaxing into it, holding him tight. “I’m here.” He muttered softly into Eddie’s neck.

“Tell me everything sweetheart, how was it? Where did you go? What was it like not to have to run around after an overgrown toddler such as myself-?” Eddie pulled away with a smile, back on solid ground but his grin faltered when he noticed Steve’s own smile had an almost sad tilt to it.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong.” He shrugged off Eddie’s concern. “Went to Hawaii. It was a good time, I’d recommend it to you but I don’t know how well your skin would be able to take that much sun.” He laughed. It was almost performative. He wouldn’t meet Eddie’s eyes anymore. “Met some people. Had some fun. You know, vacation stuff. How were Dustin and Max, could they keep up with you?”

Eddie swallowed and tried not to let the cold wash of emotion completely pull him under. “You- you met some people, huh?” He was going for light. He really was going for light, but it came out just a touch too shaky to really pull it off.

“Yeah.”

“What kind of people?”

“I dunno, people. You know, vacation people.”

Eddie nodded and tried to shove everything, everything he was feeling far, far away. He had no right to feel so heartbroken, he didn’t.

Steve was… he deserved to let loose.

And if that meant meeting some people while away on vacation, that was none of Eddie’s god-damn business. After all, it was nothing compared to what he’d been doing to Steve for years.

“Right.”

Steve frowned at him. “What’s with the face?”

“What face?”

“That face.” He circled his finger around Eddie’s head. “You look like I just killed your dog.”

Eddie shook his head. “Did you find what you were looking for? Out there?”

There was a pause.

“I thought I did.” Steve crossed his arms. “I thought I had… escaped it, I suppose? But,” he sighed, “I think I know now it’s going to be with me forever.”

He looked up again, fixing Eddie with that same sad smile, like Eddie couldn’t see right through him, like he couldn’t tell. But how long had Steve been looking at him like that and how many times had Eddie not seen it?

Steve had thought he'd escaped him.

Or escaped his soul-crushing and unrequited love.

But was it even unrequited?

Last month Eddie would have been sure the answer was an unfortunate yes, it was unrequited.

But now he wasn't so sure.

The last month without Steve had been torture.

Steve had left on vacation to escape Eddie's effect on him, had met up with vacation people and thought it had worked...

Then he came back and...

Eddie needed to sit down.

He dropped himself heavily back down on the couch and put his head in his hands.

“Sounds like some kind of tragic love story.” He muttered into the space between them.

“Yeah.” Steve’s voice was soft. “I think it is.”

Eddie looked up at him, heart breaking in two just from how resigned to his fate Steve sounded and Eddie could feel it. He could feel it, like he knew, like he felt the same, like he’d been… for all this time…

“What were you escaping?” He asked, his voice smaller than he was used to hearing it. It was a dick question, it was a hard question to even get out but he had to know.

He had to be sure.

Because if he was sure then maybe…

Steve looked at him with his big sad eyes and his resigned posture and defeat written all over his figure. “Please don’t ask me that.”

“Stevie-”

“No. Please, Eddie. I… I can’t.”

“Why?” He pushed the word out into the air like it had personally offended him. “Why can’t you just talk to me about this? Why can’t you tell me? We tell each other everything. You’ve never hidden anything from me.”

Steve laughed, some cold, sad, biting thing. “Eddie, I've been hiding this thing from you for years.”

“But, please, Stevie, I need to know. I need you to tell me. Because, I don’t know. Maybe-” Eddie reached out, trying to grasp at Steve’s hand but Steve pulled back violently.

Like Eddie could burn him with just a touch.

“Don’t. Just- I can’t tell you, you know why I can’t tell you!”

“No, I don’t!” And Eddie really didn’t. Why was this so hard, why was it so hard for him to just… admit it?

“Because!” Steve stood in front of him, sudden and frantic, like a man who’d been clinging onto his last threat of patience and sanity and had just lost his grip, hands in his hair and staring at Eddie with wide glistening, pleading eyes. “Because I’d have to leave! I couldn’t stay if I did tell you! It would- it would be unethical and unprofessional-”

“Stevie, you know you’re more to me than an employee.”

“Yes, I do, but…” Steve deflated all at once, the very soul inside him crumpling under the weight of everything. “But what would happen if I did tell you?” He whispered, swallowing around a lump in his throat. “We’d try to continue on as normal but now there’s this thing hanging over every interaction we have from now until forever and you’ll start to get uncomfortable and it’ll be a thing. And you’ll never be able to look at me as just a friend anymore and I’ll get so distracted I won’t be able to do my job and I’ll have to go, for both our sakes and that would kill me, Eddie. I need you in my life like I need fucking air, as fucked up and infuriating as you are, I need you in my life.”

“But,” Eddie was making a valiant effort to will away the lump in his own throat. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever felt so unsure about something, like every word had the power to destroy if he picked the wrong one. Like everything around them was ready to shatter like a Prince Rupert’s drop if touched the wrong way. “What if that doesn’t happen? What if… what if we gave it a go…?”

Steve somehow slumped even more, dragging his hands down from his hair to cover his face, another laugh breaking out of his lungs that was clearly mingled up with a sob. “That would be even worse.” He murmured. 

“How could that possibly be worse?! Would it really be so bad to be in a relationship with me?”

“Yes, Eddie!” Steve hissed, glaring at him with red, shiny eyes. “Yes, it would! Because I know you. You don’t do relationships. Any ones you have had you’ve imploded before they go anywhere past semi-serious and I cannot do that. I cannot be given a taste and then just have to go the rest of my life without it because you got bored or self-destructive or realised it wasn’t what you wanted, that I-”

Steve abruptly cut himself off and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes again. “I can’t do it, Eddie. If I just became another notch… I don’t think I’d ever recover. It would destroy me.”

Eddie put his own head in his hands again, ignoring the jerking movements of his bouncing knee. The worst part was that he couldn’t disagree with what Steve had said about his attitude with people, about how he treated those he was with. 

He couldn’t even be angry or defensive about it because it was true. It was so true the both of them knew it was plainly factual, there was no point arguing.

Anyone he’d ever had a relationship with before, he’d either dropped once the shine had worn off, or shoved away using cutting words or sunk himself so deep into drugs and alcohol it was a miracle Steve had ever been able to drag him out.

Because it was always Steve dragging him out. It was always Steve listening to him bitch and moan about how love was for fantasists, no one was ever happy in relationships, having to cut themselves down by half to accommodate someone else, how he’d never catch himself in that trap for as long as he lived, how he’d swear off��ever chaining himself down to bullshit monogamy again.

Until the next pretty face or bouncy ass walked by.

Of course Steve would think that about him. Eddie thought that about himself. Believed it about himself until very, very recently, when even the thought of Steve leaving his life forever sent a cold spike of dread and desperation through him.

“Okay,” Eddie rubbed his face. “But, what if… How do I- what if I prove it to you?”

Steve inhaled deeply then exhaled harshly toward the floor and dragged his hands away from his eyes. His face was blotchy and wet and miserable, his eyes were raw red and resigned. 

“Prove what?”

“That I…” Eddie dragged a hand through his hair, gripping on tight. “That I want to be serious about this. That I- if I get a chance, if you give me a chance to have you, that I’m going to keep you. Forever.”

Steve shook his head. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Eds.”

“I’ll keep it.” Eddie raised his head, meeting Steve’s eyes again and trying to will his sincerity across the room. “I’ll always keep it with you. If you love me like I suspect you do, I’m gonna work every god-damned day to keep that promise. Because I think I’ve been in love with you for just as long-”

“Please,” Steve’s voice cracked, harsh and painful sounding, “don’t say that if you don’t mean it-”

“I mean it.” He clasped his hands in front of him, almost begging Steve to hear him. To understand just how serious he was. “I swear on everything I hold dear, I mean it. I swear on my guitar I mean it.”

Steve looked so… he looked so hurt. Like everything he’d been hiding from himself, everything he’d been hiding from Eddie for so long, for years was all coursing through him at full force.

Steve crossed his arms over his chest and considered him.

“I’ll think about it.” His voice was quiet, but it wasn’t so despairing as it had been.

Eddie stood. He wanted to get closer, he wanted to wrap Steve up in his arms and never let go, he wanted to make it better but he didn’t dare move any closer.

“What do you need?”

“I don’t know. I think right now I just need a little time. And space. Again. I might have to extend my vacation just for a few more days. To get my head on straight.”

“Yeah, of course.” Eddie exhaled, rubbing a hand over his forehead. “Whatever you need, baby.”

A wounded, painful sound was pulled from Steve’s throat against his will and Eddie flinched backward.

“Jesus, shit. I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m sorry.”

Steve just shook his head, not meeting his eyes anymore. 

“Dustin and Max will be back tomorrow morning.” Steve didn’t raise his eyes again, keeping them firmly on the ground as he picked up his bag.

Eddie could only whisper out a small ‘okay’. He felt like if he said or did anything else, Steve might shatter into a million tiny pieces and he couldn’t- he wouldn’t let that happen.

The same way it had happened a month ago, Eddie watched Steve leave the room, staring at the door long after he’d gone.

But even though it was the same this time, it was also different.

Because now he had a terrible hope building in his chest.

Now he had work to do.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5 Part 6 AO3

It was Chanel, hello?? It had accessories??

An idea of Steve's yellow suit

And, of course, Rhianna's iconic cape

This is the video I watched to visualise Eddie playing away in his basement studio. Watch it and let your mind wander 🤭 (specifically 1:23 is the part Eddie is playing in the fic)

@lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring, @child-of-cthulhu, @sweetwaterangel, @anaibis, @katytheinspiredworkaholic, @littlewildflowerkitten, @hallucinatedjosten, @estrellami-1, @gregre369, @stxrcrossed186, @novelnovella, @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme, @hellowhatthehellisgoingonhere, @thesuninyaface, @messrs-weasley

[romancingdaffodils]

So hold me down and never let me go.

Bassist!Remus Lupin x Reader

told you it was time for a new era :3

pure fluff !!! Remus is a tease and a little mean but what’s new. He’s a cutie so it’s fine.

pretty shit because i’m rusty with writing but it’s just a small one shot so it doesn’t matter. enjoy my drabble !

ps. al you asked for credit so here u are here’s ur credit bitch face @alegsy :3

“Cute skirt.” Rem complimented, leaning on the kitchen counter. You rolled your eyes in response, walking towards him. “Seriously, love, looks dead nice. Is it new?” he said, looking you up and down. He had done that a couple of times, however you decided not to comment on it. It was best not to feed the fire.

“It is new, got it the other day. With, uh, what’s your little wizard friend called. The one with funky hair.”

“Marlene? And it’s very rockstar girlfriend.”

“Yes, Marlene. She’s lovely. Also, you’re not a rockstar, Rem. You’re getting full of yourself.” you replied, sarcastically. As you giggled, he gave you a look of feigned offence.

“I’m the bassist in a rock band, dove, I am the definition of a rockstar.” he said, once again looking you up and down. You were struggling to resist the temptation of basking in his gaze. If you were religious, Remus Lupin would be the devil.

“You haven’t quite mastered the ‘star’ bit yet.” you joked, attempting to get your revenge. See, Remus always seemed to have the upper hand, when it came to you. He knew exactly what to do and what to say, when it came to you. So, it was a rare luxury to have something to hold over him.

“Ahaha. How many copies did our album sell?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Three?” you responded. Looking up at him innocently, it was taking a lot not to burst into a fit of laughter.

“Fuck off.” he stated, shaking his head. Even though he was faking annoyance at your comments, it didn’t take long for Remus to gravitate towards you. He moved away from the counter he was leaning on and towards the sink, where is mission began. Not paying attention, you had began work on making cups of tea for the two of you. You had only just finished filling the kettle when he decided this was the perfect opportunity to snake his arms around your waist and rest his head in the crook of your neck.

“Hiya, Rem.” you whispered, giggling quietly to yourself. You tried to continue with your rather mundane task but, you knew you’d succumb to his enticement eventually.

“Hiya, love. You’re ignoring me.” he mumbled into your neck. Feeling his warm breath, the hairs beneath his touch stood up on end. You were almost certain you would never get used to Remus acting like this.

“Am not! Let me finish what I’m doing for once, pleasee.“ you complained with frustration thick in your voice. All your efforts were futile -which you had previously predicted- as Remus dropped his hands to your hips and spun you round. Now you were face to face (what was as close as you could get to face to face) you couldn’t deny him anything. Remus was so very tall; it was impossible not to look up to him. His honey brown eyes were burning into your soul and the sensation was irresistible. Melting like putty in his touch, you were completely compliant to his every wish and desire. For the most part anyway, but if he wanted you to jump off of a bridge you’d probably have to think about it.

“There we go. C’mon you’ve been out all week, missed you.” he whined back. You found it a little funny how someone so desperate could have such a tough exterior, but decided now wasn’t the right time to comment on it.

“I’ve seen you every day, Rem, we live togeth-.”

“It’s not enough.” he cut you off, not maliciously. Even if it were, any malicious intent would be cancelled out by the sweetest action that followed. Your lips met. Soft, sweet and somewhat addictive. Far better than any ex, that was for sure. In fact, Remus was far better than anyone else you’d ever met. He moved in sync with you. One scarred hand gripped your hips and the other crept up to the side of your head, burying itself to your hair. Your own attached themselves to his sandy brown locks, tugging lightly at the strands. Feeling like your mind was about to explode, his kisses would always send your emotions into overdrive. You simply couldn’t contain yourself with him and that’s exactly what he wanted.

Breathe. You had to remind yourself to breathe as he pulled away. Resting his forehead against your own, Remus looked at you with what could only be described as love-sickness in his eyes. Cautiously, you peered up at him through your eyelashes, trying not to trigger another outburst; you just wanted to make your tea. However, you would never admit how much you enjoyed Remus when he was like this because after all nothing is fun without a game.

“Much better.” he said, simply. His eyes never left you and you had to admit you couldn’t look away either. Fuck. “Okay, you can go make your tea now.” he added as a sly smirk crept onto his face. Fuck.

“Remus! You’re such a prick- oi. Come back.” you whined, frowning at him as he walked away. In response all he did was shrug his shoulders.

Then, he said “Sorry, dove. Got rehearsals with my rock band see you later though. Love you.”. He grabbed his jacket from the hooks beside the door and gave you one final kiss goodbye. It was short and anything but sweet. It was horrifically mean. And just like that, he was gone.

You were left standing in your kitchen starstruck. Unable to think, do or see anything other than him, you found yourself rendered incapable. Somehow, his temptation always had this affect. You just had to pray he’d be in a good mood later, a less teasing mood perhaps.