#ray...well he doesnt like talking about his past

[wszczebrzyszynie]

In older artworks Ryba seems so much edgier and so angsty and now… he’s like a cute puppy. I would love to know how Ryba has changed over the years, and how he’s different or similar from his older versions. I think you mentioned a few years ago that Ryba (as he is now) was a bad boy when he was younger, and I wanna know if that’s still true. If it is, how does he think of his past self and how did he go from edgelord to ray of sunshine?

Hmmm well i wouldnt exactly call Ryba... hm. I can feel this will be a long one. Hes one of my top 3 favourites so this was fun to elaborate on

Ryba is one of my older characters (7 years old now or so) so he has changed quite significantly and in ways i cant really explain. I probably just got bored with him being the problem child and made him nicer. Well either way yes in retrospective Ryba used to be very edgy and one of my main problem causing characters. He wasnt mean exactly as much as he was just uncaring and extremely selfish. Not worlds most insufferable teenage boy but definitely someone annoying. That problem child persona is still present in current Rybas childhood, which was mostly caused by grief and loss of his family and lack of attention and care that came with it. Ryba lost his parents when he was fairly young and was living with his more estranged family before later moving in with his grandma, with whom he lives since (and who he loves very much), and that period was very hard for him and shaped him as a person going forward. He started acting out durning that time and it progressed so much it just further isolated him from others; he was always a nice child if given the chance and some positive attention, but he did do a lot of stupid things for people to just see him

Ryba now is a very kind and friendly person, but that kindness is rooted somewhat in what other people would consider selfish needs; he needs to be liked, to be a friend and be worthy of others positive attention. Its his main life fuel; Ryba doesnt like dealing with his own problems, and prefers drowning himself in love to escape from them. Hes overly dependent on that feeling of love. Doesnt mean hes less kind or that hes somehow two faced, but that kindness doesnt come from a "morally pure" need to just be kind, and thats a very important aspect of Rybas personality.

Ryba has a lot going on in his head he doesnt know how to succesfully sort out; hes not stupid (even though he does act dumber than he is to make people laugh and appear more safe, friendler), but he has significant problems with sorting out his needs (both physical and emotional) energy and emotions, not helped by his extreme unwillingness to deal with it in a normal way or even just, talk to someone about it. Ryba is both an open and a closed book. Instead his own problem solving skill boils down to occasionally throwing things at the wall to see if they stick and never letting go if they do. Which is why he tends to contradict himself a lot; his tendency to pick fights with other boys is the same outlet for his emotions as being clingy and loving is. Its relatively easy for him to replace one with the other in the short term, as long as hes in the centre of attention and is being physically close to someone, even if in the long term his tendency to fight could be considered a form of self harm; its something that makes him feel awful right after, but he keeps doing it, because it does work for something. On the other hand, clingyness and whatever form of intimacy hes offered, tends to result more in him feeling like a freak (hence the "Ryba wouldnt be able to date someone who isnt as obsessive about him as he is" from one of my recent rybaposts came from; if he knows hes needed the same way he instead leans into the codependency as much as he can, even when he realizes hes getting "addicted" to a person; Ryba is surprisingly perceptive, especially when it comes to other people, he just doesnt want to deal with the baggage). In the similar way, his need to take care of others instead of himself is his way of making himself useful and having something else to focus on that isnt himself. Ryba is a character whose sanity is being held together by wax and spit

As for what he thinks about his younger self; if he had to be honest he just wishes there was someone for him at that time and after. Main theme of DNS is loneliness and while i wouldnt say modern Ryba is lonely, nor does he consider himself so (he may not talk about his issues to his friends, but they are still his friends nonetheless and he loves them a lot), that sudden childhood separation from people he should depend on and a period of loneliness that came with it is something that definitely did shape him in a significant way; kind of like a root of the problem that kept on growing even after the disaster has stopped, becoming something a bit more complex than in its infant state

[obsessedwrhys]

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ HER FURY

ᯓ★ Reader has EXTREME emotional detachment/anger issues, enemies to lovers trope (?), John loves to rile up reader, angst (mention of r-word but it doesnt happen dw), slight gore?, lots of funny shi tho, intense smooching but nothing crazy 🤯, reader is fem!!! (Literally writing this instead of doing my assignment, didnt proof read I rushed)

ᯓ★

Pairing you and John up for any mission was a recipe for disaster. Yet Dutch doesn't seem to catch the memo about the chemistry between you both. You HATED John and he? He enjoys that you hate him. As a matter of fact, he gets the thrill out of pissing you off. Because everybody and I mean EVERYBODY at camp knows you have a bad temper. It's just some of them happen to value their life instead of testing your limits.

Nonetheless Dutch had asked of you and John to confront a company man in Saint Denis. The details were that he had a contract that you needed to steal from him. You didn't know much but all you knew was that he played the chief into giving up all his property to the him and with the crew needing help from the chief, this was the only way to do it.

You're never a complainer when it comes to being assigned a mission but since you're being paired up with John and not to mention being told to do it this early in the morning.

You were pissed.

"Can't believe I'm doing this in the morning... Out of everyone Dutch should know I'm not a morning person" You cursed before riding off with John matching your pace on his horse.

Hearing your muttered curses, he can't help but smirk.

"Ain't that the truth. I don’t think anyone in this gang is a mornin’ person" He said.

"Oh shut up" You simply replied.

John doesn't say anything but chuckle at your annoyance. Eventually you two made it to the city, you both dismounted your horses and tied them to a nearby hitching pole. Even in the early morning, the city of Saint Denis was already bustling with activity, horse-drawn wagons passed by, and people hustled and bustled about their business.

John and you made your way through the city, eyeing the people around you and listening for any clues about the man Dutch sent you to hunt down. As you made your way down the sidewalk, you couldn't help but glare at every businessman your eyes laid upon. The way they speak and act just manages to tick you off. This however caught John's attention.

"Ain't you just a ray of sunshine" He sarcastically said and it made you look at him with your brows narrowed.

"What?"

"What? You're scarin' the city folks, that's what"

You scoff.

"All these rich folks just make me all pissed off. Actin' all high and mighty like their lives are worth more than the poor. It's all about class 'til you're talking to someone beneath you"

John chuckled, his eyes following your gaze as you glared at the next businessman walking past you.

"I don’t blame ya. Most of these fools wouldn’t last a day out there tryin’ to survive. They ain’t got any idea what it’s really like" He said and you somehow found yourself nodding to his words.

Suddenly your eyes stopped at a figure hurrying outside a tailor shop. His appearance fitting the very description Dutch had provided you. You nudged John with your elbow and you jerked your head towards the target. John followed your gaze, his eyes landing on the man you pointed at. He studied him for a moment, taking in his features and behaviour.

"I think that's him" You said.

"Seems like it" he answered in a serious tone.

"He’s in a pretty big hurry to get somewhere, ain't he?" He pointed out the obvious.

"Well let's make sure he doesn't get there" Before you even finished talking you were already going after the man.

The two of you started following the man while making sure to keep some distance as to not raise any suspicion. Eventually, the man's route lead the two of you to a quieter part of the city, away from most of the people. John shot a glance your way, a silent question in his eyes of what to do next.

You don't say anything but the mischief on your face somehow answered that question in his head.

"Hey!!" You called out to the guy who's body tenses at your voice. Despite you trying to plaster on a smile, it just made you come off scary.

"What do you want? Money?" he asked gruffly, his hand reaching for something inside his pocket discreetly.

"Money? Is that what you think what my kind is always after?" You approached him slowly and John simply watched from a feet away, his arms crossed with a glimpse of amusement on his face.

He had to admit, this is always the best part of being paired up with you.

"I heard from a birdy that you've done something terrible... you wouldn't happen to be familiar with the chief now would you?" You placed a hand on his shoulder and from how the man's eyes widened slightly at your question and the hint of nervousness displayed on his face.

You knew this was the right guy.

"And who might you be? A-And why should I tell you anything about my business with the chief?" He asked, his tone guarded and wary with suspicion.

When your hands came down to smooth out the wrinkled fabric of his suit, he yelps at the sudden tuck of his tie. You laugh it off.

"I'm simply a nobody but I know damn well you tricked the chief into giving up half his property to your company. Now I don't care what you need it for but there's nothing more that I hate than a lying scum" You flash him a smile before grabbing him forcefully by the jaw. Your action causing him to panic.

"I-I don't know what you're talking about! Let me go!!" He stammered, his mask now slipping away to reveal his true self.

"Give me the contract sir and you won't be leaving here with a broken nose" You casually spoke and John stepped a feet closer to the scene.

"Just do what she says sir" John added and the man looks between the two of you before finally nodding quickly.

"O-Okay!! It's in my pocket!!" He said and you gave him a warning look before releasing your grip on him.

He took a few deep breaths to steady himself before taking out a crumpled piece of paper. You raise your eyebrow as you took it from him, then unfolding it to read the words written on it properly. Once you were sure it was the real thing, you turn to face John who has a small smirk on his face from observing the confrontation.

"Well, well... that was quite the performance darlin" He said, taking the contract from you the second you handed it to him.

"I ain't your darlin" You said as you walked past him and back onto the city streets. He chuckles softly while following you from behind.

"Oh, that's right. You ain’t my darlin’, you're just someone extremely stubborn and bossy who I gotta follow around all day" He said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Glad we've got that cleared out"

Suddenly the sound of a whistle pierced through the air. John's expression darkened at the sight of the lawmen headed at the direction of the two of you.

"Great, now the law is after us. Figures" He remarked at the turns of events but you were already halfway getting onto your horse.

"Are you plannin' on staying?!" You shouted and he didn't need to be told twice as he quickly got on his horse.

The two of you quickly rode off and you checked over your shoulder to see several lawmen hot on your trail. Their guns firing as they tried to stop you from escaping. John, too, was firing his pistol as he rode, his aim steady and focused. You let out an annoyed groan before taking out your rifle and began shooting at the reinforcements coming from the left.

"Now I'm thinking if I should have killed the guy!" You shouted before shooting one square in the face.

John chuckled grimly as he watched you take out another lawman, his focus still on the ones from behind.

"Maybe you should've done us all a favor and put him out of his misery. Would've saved us a whole lot of trouble" He said and with half of them taken out and some on their way. You quickly looked around for an escape route.

"There!! The trees!!" You pointed.

John followed your lead, steering his horse into the trees as you both hid together. The two of you waited silently, the only sound the rapid beating of your hearts as the lawmen rode past, their horses' hooves thundering against the ground. Once they were out of sight, John let out a breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

"Well, that was a close call" he muttered, his voice a little out of breath.

"I suppose I should be thanking you for getting us into this mess in the first place, then?" He manages to say even after barely making it out. You shoot him a death glare.

"Now I'm wishing Dutch had picked Javier to come with me" You said before galloping the way back to camp.

John raises his brows out of shock at your sudden confession. Quickly and almost desperately, he catches up to you and rode alongside you.

"Oh, come on, I ain't that bad" he countered, his tone feigning offense.

"You're worse" You said and like always, you rode off in a haste, leaving him completely behind. He sighs as he watches you go.

-

Once you made it back to camp, John arrived right after you. He got off his horse and he watches as you hand Dutch the contract before heading to your tent. When he tries to say something to you, you gave him a middle finger with your back facing him. Clearly noticing you're not in a good mood, he shrugs and walked away.

John had an amused look on his face as he stood beside Arthur, the two of them watching you practically storming inside your tent.

"She's quite the firecracker, ain't she?" John said and it had Arthur chuckle, a mischievous glint in his eye.

"Oh, that she does" he agreed with a smirk on his face.

"Although I gotta say, it's rather entertaining to see her riled up" He added.

Just then they see Uncle headed towards your tent. Clearly looking to ask you for something.

"This can go wrong in so many ways" Arthur observed.

The second Uncle made contact with your tent, that was it.

"GET OUT!!! GET THE FUCK OUT!!" You shouted and threw a candle that merely missed him by the head.

John and Arthur couldn't help but burst out laughing as they watched Uncle trip and fall on his way from your tent. Everybody knows that you hate getting your alone time interrupted, especially when you're tired or had just came back from a rough mission so anyone who tried to talk to you was practically asking for it.

"That poor bastard" John said, wiping a tear from his eye while Arthur's laughter was subsiding slowly.

"I gotta give him credit for trying though. He's either really brave or really stupid to approach when she's in a mood like that" Arthur chuckled.

Soon Javier joined the conversation, confusion and curiosity shown on his face.

"Well speak of the devil. Just in time to witness (Y/N) in all her glory" John said and Javier raised his brows in surprise.

"Ah, is she in a mood again? I thought I heard her yelling from all the way over there" Javier said and mirrored the other two who were standing and facing your tent.

"You heard right and apparently Uncle was unfortunate enough to be the first one to try and talk to her" John said with a slight smirk on his face.

"Poor bastard probably got an earful" Javier shaked his head with a chuckle.

"But I wonder why she's always so angry, there has to be a reason to her anger" Javier spoke and it sparked something inside John's mind.

He always figured it was something apart of your character so he never thought to view things like that.

"Who knows? Dutch found her in the woods alone, starved to bone and yet she still had the energy to fight. She was only 9 and she never told us why she was out there all alone" Arthur answered.

"Poor girl"

"Yeah"

As the two kept on talking. John was standing there with his arms crossed as he's completely lost in his mind. The one question he never thought he should pay more attention to.

Why were you angry?

-

The evening came fast. Everybody was busy doing their own thing and John was simply relaxing by the chair until he heard sounds of giggles. The voice was awfully familiar so he got up to follow the source of the sound. To his surprise he found you playing with Jack by the grass a bit further from camp. You were teaching him how to make a flower crown and John couldn't help but notice the one on top of Jack's head.

"Well, I'll be damned" John muttered.

"She's a natural isn't she?" He jumps slightly at Hosea who pretty much came out of nowhere.

"Looks like she's got a soft spot for the kid" He added as the two watch you laugh when Jack began stressing over the steps.

"More like a natural pain in my ass" John said and Hosea snorts. The sound catching your attention almost immediately, the second your neck snapped towards their direction. The two knew what was coming.

"THE HELL ARE YOU TWO LOOKIN' AT?!" You cursed while amusingly at the same time were covering Jack's ears.

The sight was enough to have John grin.

"I didn't know you were a real softie for the kid!" He said while Hosea decided to leave for the sake of his safety.

"I bet you even read bedtime stories to the boy"

"She does!!" Jack said and you couldn't contain the betrayal on your face when you turned to look at him. Seeing your face, John laughs.

"Can I get a piggyback ride auntie (Y/N)?" Jack asked so innocently that you couldn't stay mad at him. You simply nodded and he giggled with excitement as he settled onto your back.

"Say the thing!!" Jack said and you awkwardly looked at John from the corner of your eyes to see him looking all curious.

Ah... this is so embarrassing...

"All abroad the (Y/N) express..." You said with less energy than you usually do but regardless Jack was having the time of his life.

This just made John burst out into laughter. If he thought he hadn't seen it all, he does now.

"Damn kids got a good grip on you" He said, following you as you carried Jack around the camp. Your expression stoic while Jack was acting as though he was flying.

"Good I wouldn't want him to fall" Hearing you say that, John couldn't help but let a genuine smile slip.

"Of course you wouldn't" He said, his tone more softer and now less teasing.

The second it was night time, it was your turn to patrol the grounds. You walked around, rifle in hand as you were on high alert and watching for any potential dangers. It was peaceful you had to admit, just you and the sounds of the trees rustling through the wind.

You continued on your patrol until your ears perked up at the sound of footsteps approaching. You turned around almost in a blink of an eye, rifle drawn at the figure nearing towards you... only to see it was none other than John.

Of course it's John.

Why wouldn't it be John?

"Can't you just leave me alone?" You asked while he had both his hands raised up.

"Wow now, I just wanted to keep you company"

"God you're like a poodle. Wouldn't leave me alone" You said as you lowered your rifle and continued on the path of your patrol. He snickers at your words.

"A poodle? That's a new one"

You simply ignored him hoping that he'll go away but instead he followed you. After a few moments of silence, he spoke up, his tone a little softer than usual.

"So, what made you suddenly decide to take Jack on your back and act all motherly-like?" He asked and you were hoping he would drop that topic by now.

"What do you mean? I'm always like that" You response made John raised an eyebrow, a hint of surprise in his expression.

"You? Always motherly?" he chuckled, his skepticism evident.

"That's not the impression you usually give off, darlin"

"Oh please I can be nice. It's just some people don't deserve that from me"

"And who exactly doesn't deserve your so-called kindness?" he inquired, knowing very well that the list was probably long.

"People who just keeps on pissing me off" You look over at him for a quick second that if he wasn't looking at you from the start, he would have missed it.

"You mean, like me?"

"Oh you just happen to be at the top of my list" John chuckled, clearly enjoying your blunt honesty.

"I'm honored. It's good to know that I'm holding the top spot on your list of people you hate most" He said with a sarcastic voice.

After what felt like minutes of walking around, you let out a yawn as you decided to rest by a log. John stood by where you're sitting, his arms crossed as he tilts his head at you.

"Exhausted?" He asks.

"Of your shit? Yeah, just about"

He rolls his eyes at your reply before making himself sit down beside you. You stare off into the distance, at the brightly litted camp. He stared at the emotionless look on your face. Almost like all joy was sucked out of you. Sensing this might the best time and the only time he'll get, he decided to ask something.

"I heard that Dutch found you alone in the woods when you were 9. How'd that come to be?" He asks and you were still for a second before your eyes turned to look at him. With the way you were staring at him so coldly, he was wondering if he had pissed you off.

"... how would you understand?" You asked and he paused for a moment, his expression hardening slightly.

He understood your hint that you didn't think he would understand how you felt, which rubbed him the wrong way. He let out a scoff, his irritation growing.

"I ain't some damn fool, darlin'. Don't assume I can't empathize with you just cause I ain't the most sensitive person in this gang" He said and you stared at him a little longer before letting out a defeated sigh.

"I grew up in a poor family. Everyday it was a struggle to even put food on our plate. So one day my deadbeat father thought it would better off selling me and my sisters to some rich perverts. I fought like hell to run away. In a way I thought it would be better having my body torn apart by the wolves than to have a man touch me inappropriately" You said and every word that came out of you made John's mouth go dry.

It's no stranger that majority of everyone in the gang had their troubling past but to hear it from the very person who barely ever expressed themselves. It was different.

"I hated my dad. Fuck. I hated my mom more for not doing anything. The more I grew up, the more I grew to hate everybody. This ain't even the life I wanna live so what's the point of loving it" You cursed, your hands now clenching into a fist.

"So you hate everyone because of what your parents did to ya? Don't get me wrong, they sure can rot in hell for what they did but for you to keep everyone at arm's length? Don't you think it's a bit lonely? Living like that?" He said and you looked at him.

"You're the one telling me this?"

"I'm just sayin', pushing everyone away ain't gonna fill that loneliness inside you, darlin'." He said.

You stared at him, contemplating a bit while John held your gaze, his dark eyes studying your face intently. He could see the conflict in your expression, the internal struggle you were having with yourself. He shifted slightly, leaning closer towards you. His voice was low and earnest as he spoke.

"You can't keep running from your feelings, darlin'. Sooner or later, they'll catch up to you" He said.

"And what if they hurt me again?" You said and guilty enough your eyes trailed down to his lips which made John's breath hitch as he felt his pulse quicken for a brief moment before he quickly composed himself.

"What if they don't, darlin'? What if you're just letting your fears control you? Letting you miss out on something great? On moments that could possibly make you feel alive again?" He said, forcing his voice to remain even and steady.

Alive...

You looked at him and he swore he has never seen you this vulnerable before. So when you leaned in towards him, John's heart skipped a beat. Your lips inches apart that for a brief moment he thought you were going to do something unexpected... but then you pulled back, quickly standing up and breaking the closeness between you two. John felt a pang of disappointment in his chest, though he quickly masked it with a neutral expression.

"Where you going?" he asked, his voice slightly hoarse.

"To sleep" You said, rifle held by your side as you went. He doesn't say anything as he remained seated on the log. He let out a sigh and turned his gaze towards the ground, his thoughts a tangled mess in his head.

-

For the next few days, John had noticed the subtle changes in your behavior. He realized that you were deliberately avoiding him. You would steer clear of him whenever he was around, finding tasks or conversations to distract yourself elsewhere.

He couldn't help but feel confused and slightly hurt by your distant attitude. He hadn't done anything to warrant such coldness from you, and the only interaction you'd had was that brief exchange in the woods. So he figured it was because of that night that your behaviour have changed towards him.

John's irritation began to grow as your subtle avoidance continued. He couldn't understand why you were suddenly treating him like he didn't exist. He was used to your usual hostility, sure, but this was a different kind of cold shoulder. So there's no other solution but to confront you.

One evening, after the camp had quieted down for the night, John approached you while you were sitting alone, sharpening your knife. The second you became aware of his presence, you quickly got up and tried to leave however this time he stood in your way blocking your path.

"Now hold on a moment, we need to talk" He said firmly.

"There's nothing to talk about" You said and John grew annoyed at your dismissive response.

"Oh, there's plenty to talk about... You've been avoiding me like the plague for days now. Can you at least tell me what the hell I did to deserve this silent treatment?" He said and you couldn't help swallow anxiously.

"Maybe have you thought that it isn't about you?" You said and once again tried to walk past him but as predicted, he stood in your way. His body almost towering over yours.

"Don't give me that horseshit, I ain't blind. You've been avoiding me like the plague. And every time I try to talk to you, you practically bolt in the other direction" He said, clearly growing more infuriated.

"I'm a busy girl!"

"A busy girl, huh?" he repeated sarcastically, his tone laced with thinly veiled anger.

"I ain't buying it. You've always found time to be a pain in my ass, and now suddenly you're too damn busy to even look at me?"

""What the hell do you want from me John?! You just looking for someone to put your anger out on?!" You raised your voice and John wasn't afraid to match your tone.

"Maybe I am! Maybe I'm sick of your goddamn attitude, your constant need to push everyone away. You ain't fooling anyone with your coldness. You're scared!"

"I'm scared?!"

"Yeah, you're scared. You're scared of letting anyone in, scared of letting your guard down. You act tough and distant 'cause you think it'll keep you safe. But it's all just a—"

Before he could continue on talking, you suddenly grabbed him by the collar to kiss him on the lips. The action clearly caught John off guard, his surprise evident on his face. But his body responded to you despite his confusion, his own anger fueling his reaction.

He returned the kiss passionately, his arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you against him in a tight embrace. The kiss was fierce and consuming, both of you releasing all the pent up frustration and tension between you two.

John's hands ran over your body, his touch greedy and possessive. He pressed himself hard against you, his body molding to yours as if he couldn't get close enough.

He broke the kiss for a brief moment, his breathing ragged and his eyes dark with desire. He captured your lips again, his tongue seeking entry into your mouth as his hands roamed under your shirt, exploring the bare skin of your waist.

That was until the sound of someone talking from nearby that made the both of you snap out of the moment. John's attention snapped away from you for a brief moment, his eyes darting towards the source of the noise.

He then took a step back, creating a small space between you now. Both of you were breathing heavily, trying to catch your breaths after the intense moment you had just shared. Surprisingly you were the first to speak up.

"I... I didn't mean to avoid you... I was just scared of these feelings I felt around you... I thought ignoring it— ignoring you was the better idea" You said. After all, you weren't ever good at understanding your emotions.

John watched you, taking in the mixture of emotions that played across your face. He knew exactly what you were feeling because he knew what that feeling was. He took a step closer to you again, his expression now more serious.

"Sometimes we can't control how we feel, darlin'. And trust me, ain't nothing wrong with what we just did" He said, gently caressing the side of your face.

"... I'm fucking scared John... in this life I'm used to losing people, if I let myself feel things then I don't think I'll be able to survive the thought of losing you" You said, the fear in your confession made John frown a bit but there was this sweetness in his gaze when he cupped your face to look at him.

"I ain't going anywhere, darlin'. You ain't gonna lose me, I promise you that"

"You can't be sure" You said, your hands rested on top of his.

"You're right, I can't guarantee anything in this life... but I can promise you I'll do everything in my power to stay by your side. I ain't leaving you, no matter what. You got my word on that" He said, his eyes never leaving yours. You stared at him for a while before resting your head on his chest.

"God I hate you" You sighed but your lips formed a small smile. Seeing that, John couldn't help but chuckled, a warm, genuine smile spreading across his face as he wrapped his arms around you.

"You don't hate me. You can't stand me, though, I know that. But you definitely don't hate me. Otherwise, you wouldn't be leaning on me like this" He teased.

"Stop pushing your luck"

"Oh, come on, darlin'. You know you love me really" he said continuing his tease with a smirk on his face.

"Ugh..." You groaned and it had John chuckled again, enjoying the playful banter between the two of you. He tightened his arms around you while holding you close to him, his face nuzzling into your hair and his voice lowering to a husky, teasing tone.

"You don't have to admit it right now... but I know you do..."

[the-s1lly-corner]

Hiii! If your not swamped with requests could I do a Moon/Sun where its a fem reader and Sun is a hopeless romantic and totally falls in love with reader but moon is more hesitant to admit his feelings? If u can ty sm! If u can’t that’s totally okay too🫶🏼

Sun and Moon crushing on the reader

OOOUUUUGH I love getting fnaf sb requests esp for the DCA!!!!/gen

Notes: reader is GN, written in separate segments but can easily be combined, reader is a human and works in the daycare as an assistant, no virus moon au

CWs: none

SUN

sun is painfully obvious when hes interacting with you, it would be a true miracle (or curse) if you somehow didnt notice

hes always tagging behind you when the kids arent around and even then if they dont need constant supervision hes going to be checking in on you- while constantly rotating his head and looking over his shoulder!

makes you handmade gifts with some of the supplies in the daycare; cards, paper flowers, crowns, things like that!

his rays spin so fast as hes looking at you, and if you return his energy his neck just !!! snaps right up before resting as it usually does.. its a little funny to look at actually

if you let him hes going to gush on and on about you

and hes not afraid to show off his crush!.... at least when appropriate; hes making sure to prioritize his duties

constantly hyping you up as well, nothing gets past him hes going to make sure you know ALL of your efforts are seen

MOON

moon is a lot more... to himself when it comes to his feelings for you

he doesnt avoid you and he doesnt seem to fully reject any affection from you, but you do notice that he seems a bit off around you

similar to sun, he makes you little crafts with stuff from the daycare... but he never really gives them to you in the end- instead they end up collecting dust in their room

perches himself up on the play structures during naptime and watches you work away at your desk, passing the time

his behavior is kind of like that of a cat; distant but alert, may let you pet if you approach slow enough

when he does talk to you about his thoughts on you theyre a lot more collected and put together compared to sun who just lets it spill out

though he still teases you when he gets the chance, sometimes snatching something that belongs to you when he wants your attention and feels brave enough to have you close to him

[introspectivememories]

I FORGOT I EVEN SENT THAT ASK AND YOUR RESPONSE HIT ME LIKE A TRUCK OHMSYGODDFJDJ

I seriously love your writing so much you always put a heap of emotion into it 😭😭

also adore the idea of TIM being the one who's obsessed with bear and going to such lengths just to keep seeing him, I tend to prefer happy endings so I like to think they work it out after a while but like also the angst is amazing

god the amount of yearning in this au makes me so mmmpfhhhf

god im just so sorry that it took me soo long to reply!!! you sent just as i was taking my break from tumblr and other social media :(((

i remember reading it and thinking to myself "god if i had the timbern brainworms, i could write smth for this" but then recently they've been coming back and i was a church bored out of my mind when i was like "hmmm maybe i should respond?"

and ohhh my god, when i first got it, i immediately thought about how toxic it could get and like, personally, i feel like i can't write complicated characters? if that makes sense? to me, im not very good at writing multi-dimensional characters. which to be fair, i never set out to become like a pulitzer prize winning author. i just do this for fun haha.

and like i knew that my answer to your ask was always gonna be toxic timbern but i didn't know if i could write it? ig??? bc like tim is a good person. he is!!! he just wants bear so badly. and it's past the initial physical attraction now.

he and bear are all grown up. he likes bear's wit and humor, well the wit and humor he gets to hear when bear doesn't know he's around. but bear wont let him in!!!! bear wont open himself up and tim's apologized!!!! he did!!! he doesn't even know what he did and he still apologized!!!!! and it changed nothing. bear doesn't talk to him or look at him or anything. nothing but polite professionalism.

and then one day, he sees bear on his balcony as he's swinging through the streets of gotham. and bear isn't doing anything special, he's just sitting there in sweats and no shirt and the moonlight hits his pecs just right and his shoulders are so broad and-

well he cant be blamed for stopping to take a peek, right? and maybe when he has has time he swings by more and more. just watching for longer and longer, until one day bear catches him. and as they stare at each other from opposite sides of the street, tim thinks this is it. the cold glances and frosty words are going to come back. bear's never gonna just sit on his balcony again. he's lost this too. but then-

oh.

bear sends him a hesitant wave and tim raises a trembling hand to wave back. and bear- well bear's mouth splits into a smile brilliant enough to rival the sun. beautiful like the sunrise. the promise of a new beginning. if he closes his eyes, tim thinks he can feel the sunlight's warm rays on him.

hes' hooked after that. he comes around again and again. one day bear lets him on the balcony. weeks later, bear's hugging him. weeks after that, tim's in bear's lap. and he knows it's not right. that bear thinks he's someone else. that bear doesnt want anything to do with him but how is he supposed to let this go? how is he supposed disentangle himself from bear's arms?

so he lies and he lies and he prays to any and every god he can think of, that he'll get to keep this. plus he's not really lying to bear, he's just... not talking about it! if bear asks, he'll tell him point blank. he swears it. but that's a problem for another day. things are looking up! bear said more than 5 sentences to him the other day and yesterday? he even got a small smile. it'll all work out. he'll be fine.

[underscoredinnisg]

i kinda want to make an ao3 account to write a self indulgent fic about saiki k where theres a transfer in Toritsuka's class (set like just after Toritsuka transfer's to PK) but none of the physics know that the newest transfer has powers and they slowly figure out, but the transfers powers are centred around bugs. so he can shapeshift into any bug(of any size), shapeshift specific body parts(ie give himself wings), talk to bugs, summon bugs, ect as long as its bug related. and he really enjoys it, but the draw back is he constantly has these two antennas that stick straight out of his head, so he has to have hair that goes like just past his shoulders so he can tie the antenna into ponytails and stuff (maybe like nagisas haircut from assassination classroom).

i think also what would happen is that a couple of saikis powers wouldnt work/ wouldnt work right on the transfer. so like saiki cant read his mind because well... hes technically a bug, even though hes like a functional human, and it baffles saiki even more once he notices because the transfer doesnt ACT like nendo, if anything he acts more like saiki and aren combined (chill until pushed over the edge). another thing that saiki notices that weirds him out if that his x ray vision doesnt work on the transfer (because the transfer has an exoskeleton or smth idk it just doesnt work).

if i do make an account and actually write the story ill post it on here, like ill link it. idk ive just had the idea floating around for a while now and i kinda want to write it just cuz why not (also it might turn into a saiki X the transfer student just because i want to)

[skybristle]

im jsut gonna shamelessly dump this from dms with mac idgaf

also been thinking abt how rays and sparks were friendss..................... The dynamic must've been sooo fun........... Sparks also probably knew reefs pretty well as its head technician. Can you imagine how much she would have had to trust it !!!!

mac: "God. to have to look back on all the good times knowing now that they'd BETRAY you like that. Sparks cant ever look at them the same even if she wanted to. She TRUSTED THEM!!! she let them into her most vulnerable parts, let them take care of her and tend to her structure!!! and they then went on to hurt her! that SUCKS. for all parties involved, but especially because of how much dependence sparks had on them...."

EXACTLYY !!! !ITS SO EVILLLL

Sure her trust breaks with ancients and her creators in general. But she really never has a personal realtionship again with anyone after the expansions. I wonder how much of reefs she sees in chimes. I wonder how much her skin crawls every time she sits through him talking about his ancients and city and his 'mama'.

i think thats why out of all of them sparks likes ochre the most despite flor being relatively quiet. she doesn't have that personal hurt with amber the way she does with reefs, since amber was long gone from her project by the time everything crumbled. even as chimes is so warm and friendly she just butts heads with him instinctually and really can't trust anyone, let alone reefs creation.

Of course that changes in off string and stuff where chimes and sparks relationship becomes Immensely important but in canon they're like. estranged.

they should be family. He should be like a little brother to her. He probably would have been had reefs just gone and built an iterator withotu all fo that happening. But that's not what ever would have happened

Rays tries to tell her about chimes construction [and ochres] as hes in development. as a late apology, as news, as whatever he frames it as in their tense conversations. but she just doesn't want to hear any of it anymore

mac: "She loses the people in her life who supported her the most, they betray her horribly, and she's expected to be able to trust people after that??? fuckkk no. And god,,,,, chimes. Chimes is so so close to reefs and. Sparks just has to. Watch that. FUCK"

ESPECIALLY WITH ALL THE POLITICAL DEVELOPMENTS IN CHORUS WHERE REEFS STRONGMANS SUCH A DIFFERENT CULTURE !!! ITS THE ENVY !!! WHY COULDNT HAVE THAT BEEN HER. HOW COULD REEFS SAY ALL THAT AND HAVE DONE WHAT IT DID TO HER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STARTS EATING GLASS

i dont think she ever hated chimes or anything its just every interaction with him is so tainted and he'll never really understand why. I think thats also why him specifically turning on her and getting into a fight with her is what sends her over.

sparks would have never TOLD him that this is what she sees, that she's been hrut like this, because chimes is a new generation past her expansions and theres no need. she doesn't need to burden him with that beyond what he already knows. i think he would have really tried to make up for it had he known. But he doesn't and so he lives his happy life as sparks just. watches with frustration

which fucks me up about off string because in my head she DOES tell him. she DOES !! FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haah sparks you get to grow and be a better person and escape without suciide but you have to have these hard conversations and you have to put yourself out there and you have to have faith that you won't be stabbed in the back haha sparks

mac: "she HAS to learn to trust others. Which sucks. She's been betrayed so hard in the past, but part of healing is accepting that you can learn to put your faith into people again!!! she has friends!!!!!! GAGDH"

i need her to like. Get her ass beat by something and chimes [who is VERY much a coward when it comes to combat] doesnt hesitate to go in there to grab her and pull her away. I needdd a million little things to pile up to shore up the initially stringy trust she's put in her group. I need them to become her friends i need her to get better !!! RIPS SHIRT OFF

boooo shed your godhood and live the human experience and do dumb shit. fucking lsoer

[piraytoro]

Okay so I haven’t talked outside of like tags and stuff about racism in the MCR fandom bc it’s honestly draining and sometimes triggering for me but I did want to talk about like. A trend I’ve been seeing in the way people talk about Ray. And this isn’t a callout for any specific people, I honestly don’t remember where a lot of these examples even came from, they’re just things that kind of stuck with me bc they made me uncomfortable.

Anyway, there’s been kind of a trend with people calling Ray dumb? Whether it’s for the crypto thing or for his poetry or his lyrics, I’ve just seen it happening a lot, even within circles of people who love Ray Toro! And I get that calling fictional characters dumb without meaning it is just a part of fandom culture, but this is a real person and honestly it feels like sometimes people kind of do mean it. Generally making fun of his spelling and writing rubs me the wrong way because there is a definite disparity in literacy support and education between Latine people—ESPECIALLY those who are (probably) neurodivergent—and white people in this country that has nothing to do with intelligence and ability, it has to do with racism.

And like. We all know Ray has suffered from self esteem issues in the past. He bluntly stated he didn’t like how he looked, has said he didn’t think he had a good voice, and he demurs whenever Gerard says he’s the best guitarist ever. But he is so wrong on all counts! And he’s super intelligent and widely knowledgeable about a ton of things! If anything, the only issue with his lyrics is that he’s trying too hard bc HE DOESNT THINK HE’S GOOD AT WRITING. Like We Save is literally amazing lyrically, he’s contributed lyrically to a ton of MCR songs, most notably Early Sunsets, and people are saying things like “oh he can’t write” as if that mentality isn’t literally the issue in the first place. It’s a common problem with people who aren’t confident in their writing abilities to try too hard to Sound Poetic, but poetry/lyricism is so much about creating a feeling and an experience that trying too hard doesn’t translate well. When he goes for very direct and specific visuals/sensory experiences, his lyrics are actually really good.

And the thing is that the people who are saying these things just aren’t thinking about the implications because they don’t have to. Because most people just aren’t fully, viscerally aware of how insidious these prejudices are. But when you say that Ray is “the only true himbo in the band bc he’s kind of dumb” or whatever, just remember that what you’re implying by that is “out of these four guys, the only dumb one is the only one who’s not white.”

[dullweapons]

❝ if you will forgive me for saying so, you look…weary. are you sleeping? ❞

asoiaf: a dance with dragons starters

funny to be asked that when they too have eye bags . ray stares for a moment before sighing & shaking his head . he uncrosses his arms & signs as he speaks .

❝ no . i don't sleep well . twenty minutes naps is all i get lately between nightmares & pain . but don't worry about me . you're more important . ❞ his arms drop to his sides to denote he is done talking as he walks past link to see how much further they must travel . he rather focus on getting link to his next destination : he has helped much of hyrule already but still ⸻ the gloom spreads across the land . although the gloom doesn't seem to affect ray ... infact , it makes him feel more alive . but he sees how it infects link , what's more is the blood moons seem to twist the little hero too ... his nails seem to grow into claws & his canines catching on his lip . troubling . was he turning demonic ?

shouldn't the horribly smelly shrines of light be helping ? they were made to protect hyrule from demons & darkness ... like smoke warding away bugs .

he looks back to link .

❝ how are you feeling . a blood moon should be coming soon & we're still a few days away from gerudo town or a stable . ❞ once again he drops his hands once he finishes his sentences . ray doesnt mind signing ⸻ actually , its nice . he doesn't have to strain his only ear to hear someone when they both sign . although he does an equally bad job showing tone in his expressions as he does speaking .

❝ camp ? ❞

[honeststuff]

Thestor waited patiently for meesha to say something, she was quiet today, quietter than usual. She spoke up " my head hurts."

"Why, what happened? Are u stressed about something?" He asked

"No" she replied shaking her head.

"Then what?" Thestor prompted.

"Leave it. It doesnt matter, its not big of a deal. Tell me about your day." Meeshtha didnt want to spoil the mood, she was already sad enough and didnt want Thestor to be upset too.

"My day today summed up in animal training. I examined ruby and emerald and i think they are almost ready now" she liked how he named his dogs after jewels. He never showed but she knew he would love to have his own dog companion. If it was in her right she would have bought him one already. If only life was that simple.

They talked for hours. Sharing their intermixed personal and impersonal thoughts. However it was time to go now. She always hated saying goodbye, but it was necessary. "I need to go now." Meeshtha said interrupting thestor.

Thestor wanted a little more time, few more minutes perhaps. But he knew, he cant, he had no right, afterall he was all but a friend. He nodded his head once, acknowledging their time limit. "When will i see u again?" He asked but never got the response. He felt her hand slide away from his and heard sound of her footsteps fading. He wanted to see her badly, stare into her eyes so that he could read the depth of her emotions, but he never can. It was stolen away from him 'the power to see' among other things. He should be bitter about it, he should be angry, he should be many things. But he was just stone. He refused to waste his time on thinking things that would never change.

Meeshtha returned back, thestor gave her some solace but it wasnt enough. She brimed with the desire to revenge, revenge for what had happened to her. She knew all so well that there was no reasoning woth half wit and neither would someone blame him. So she took matters into her hands. She creeped her way into half wit's chambers and found his most prized possession - a wooden helicopter. It was ray's father last gift to him and the only thing ray gave a fuck about. It was time to teach him a lesson. She took the wooden helicopter out. Set it on ground anf blazed it. It looked mesmerizing. Fire grew and grew. The glow of burning it soothed her soul. She disappered from the scene. Soon people gathered around fire. She looked from the distance, the moment half wit registered what it was. She heard him crying, bawling his eyes out. She waited for a flicker of regret to come but nothing her heart was empty. It was not fair, she knew that.

But then again whoever said life was fair didnt live long enough to enjoy all the fairness.

It was a payment, payment for hurting her. Soon everyone would know what she did. Some would fear her, some would criticize her. It doesnot matter. Everyone was bad guy in someone's story and she rather enjoyed being villan. She went to the lake where her family had gathered to complete last of the rituals of day. She looked into the river. Her reflection stared back at her. In past she would have been horrified at destroying something. However now her thoughts are somehow changing from an empath to a sociopath.

"Did u enjoy it?" Beatrix came close to her and asked. Ofcourse, she was the first to guess, she always is. Wheather it was a twin thing or not but meeshta shared a deeper bond with beatrix, sometimes telepathic even.

Meeshtha shrugged in response. She had no desire to small talk. She sucked at it anyways.

"Father knew where you went today." Beatrix told.

It wasnt a secret. Everyone knew going to high required blood and pass. Her father was at high position and he monitored everything at haveli. So it wasnt a big surprise that he knew.

Meeshtha shrugged again.

"Mother was talking to him, she thinks its time for your another session" beatrix continued.

"So soon?" Meeshtha asked with tremor in her voice.

"Yes, they also suspect that something is going on. They are afraid that you will become just like kaj."

"Kaj, there is nothing wrong with him. Dont you dare speak that way about our brother."

"I am just warning you of what's ahead. You need to get your act together." Beatrix emphasised.

"I dont give a fuck about it" meeshtha yelled angirly.

Gr8! Once again she had turned spotlight on her. She need to get away from here. She took two long steps and heard Beatrix calling,"run, run meeshtha like you always do. But remember there is only so far that you can go."

Wasnt that the bitter truth. This place only offers an illusion of freedom, there's no way out. Unless! 'No don't think about it'

She was just about to step into her room when she heard her mother calling," meeshtha come here, your dad wants to have a word." She laughed internally. A word. No its a session. She knew it. She trembled in fear thinking about what would happen this time. Whenever it was time for session, she lost a part of herself. She didnt know how much more of it she could take it. Suddenly, she thought of Thestor, she desperately wants to go to him, tell him she needs him. But she cant. It was all just wishful. She steeled her spine and refuse to cower. But no matter how much she convinced herself, every step she took weakened her resolve.

[husbandhoshi]

me booping you as a monthly checkup (which is smth im doing frm today onwards) :D

HOWS LIFE LILY???? HOWS SCHOOL???? WHICH YEAR OF MED ARE YOU IN NOW???? - okay too many caps locks, anyways-

idk if you celebrate but how was good friday and easter? did you have fun? how was your weekend? have you been busy at the hospital a lot? HAVE YOU DRUNK WATER TODAY POOKIE 👹👹

any gossip around you we (or i) should know about? dame im starting my 3rd year in a bit and im STRESSED. med school is tough man 😭😭

ive been so fucking busy, i didnt even know there was a follow to incheon the past weekend 😭

OH AND OMG I HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS

remember the two girls and their boyfriends (from my uni) i told you about some time ago? the one where the boyfriends grab hold of the other girl instead of their girlfriends? IT HAS FUCKING ESCALATED

apparantly - im renaming them as olivia (ex boyfriend justin) and jane (ex boyfriend mathew) - olivia and justin were "engaged" since they were younger?? its like a tradition of sorts in their caste to betroth the girl to someone once they start menstruating. so like olivia got betrothed to justin when she was like 14? i think. justin did like olivia A LOT like he was booktok smitten in love with her. and then like when the two of them started university with like a bunch of other people, justin met jane in his freshman orientation. they sat beside each other and they hit off.

jane met mathew in one of her classes and it seemed like she shared multiple of her classes with mathew so they kept on talking and then eventually got into a relationship. and then mathew saw olivia in the garden once and found her "pretty" and started making conversations with her (mind you mathew was already well into the relationship with jane) and so they started conversing and now olivia starts gaining feelings for the guy and becomes confused because "how can i have feelings for two people at once?" so this went on for like a good year. olivia and justin being in a relationship with jane and mathew are in a relationship. all while jane and justin were hanging around each other a lot and olivia would still be very fucking confused about her feelings because of the CONSTANT FLIRTING from mathew.

and then second term of sophomore started (post winter break), sophomores were planning to get drunk somewhere and olivia didnt want to go. shes not really big on alcohol and parties. jane, justin and mathew went (all of them went separately). fast forward to i think a few hours later, all three of them are piss drunk and someone spikes their drinks. jane and justin go to one of the private rooms to have sex and mathew continues getting piss drunk. drunk mathew misses olivia so he goes to her dorm, she lets him in, he has a bit of water, they have sex.

i dont think i mentioned something.

olivia doesnt know mathew is in a relationship with someone.

mathew doesnt know olivia is in a relationship with someone.

jane doesnt know justin is in a relationship with someone.

justin doesnt know jane is in a relationship with someone.

olivia is entirely SOBER when she lets mathew have sex with her.

this going behind each others back goes on for months until the fist fight thingy that happened.

and then, olivia and justin go home from uni on a break and yk how word spreads FAST right? their parents already knew about their infidelity before they even reached home. the engagement is called off. olivia is transferring to another uni in a different continent entirely. justin still goes to my uni. about jane and mathew? no one knows where they vanished actually. like they're no where to be found after the fist fight fiasco.

thenkiu for reading my tedtalk lily 🤓

~ rai 😘

RAIIIIII hello babe i am so sorry i took forever to answer this 😭😭😭😭 i had to dig in and pull out my actual computer to dissect this TEA…

im good!!! im starting my third year at the end of the month :) just waiting for the results of my big test to come in bc that will determine whether or not i get to start 😬 we’ve been studying for this exam for quite some time so no gossip or hospital stories to share :(( literally my life has been waking up studying and then going to sleep. but i just came back from a trip to nyc which was super fun !

and yes i did celebrate easter w my family!!! we did a seafood boil which was SOO good! what did you do?

ok ok after reading the drama update i am SEATED. first i know there r cultural reasons for getting betrothed / engaged etc so early but i think this is just confirmation that No One was ready 😭😭 honestly it breaks my heart bc it sounds like there were really Real feelings involved in all of this but the fact that no one could keep their hands to themselves 😬 Telling! plus the like 0 communication KILLS ME!!! please don’t stay together then!!!! also i’m side eyeing mathew bc he sounds selfish and from what i understand initiated a lot of the drama???? idk but transferring schools and disappearing is CRAZY too…… sheesh

i had a similar situation happen to my friends in high school where friend A had been on/off dating boy A for years and years (on/off bc her parents didn’t approve). her best friend B had been crushing on boy B for years but didn’t move in on it bc she was scared he didn’t reciprocate. so friend A and boy A are on a break and allegedly friend A invites boy B to her place and they sleep together. friend B finds out and to retaliate sleeps with boy A at her bday party. then they both mutually blocked each other after not saying a WORD abt it to each other & just hearing ab things thru word of mouth. crazy how people can just turn on each other like that

drama ASIDE. how are you?? i know you’re busy but is it a good busy??? i hope you have time to enjoy urself!!

[punkkboyyluvrr]

just watched - destroy all neighbors (2024)

holy shit. this movie is so fucking good. i dont even know what to say.

listen. ill admit im probably more than a little biased, as someone with a heavy alex winter special interest and a long-time obsession with schlocky horror, but fucking trust me when i say that if youre into horror at all, you have to drop EVERYTHING and watch this movie right fucking now, especially if any of the following sentences intrigue you:

the worlds saddest autistic man having the worst few days of his entire life

alex winters decapitated head saying "i am now living in your head rent free"

jonah ray rodrigues going on an in-depth emotional monologue about prog rock to two undead corpses

zombie rock sesh. thats it thats the sentence

ok. now i will say that this movie has its fair share of gross-out humor and horror (which is probably to be expected for many horror-comedies), and i understand that a lot of people arent into that. i get it; i typically try to avoid that kind of stuff too. however, if youre one of the people more willing to sit through gross practical effects and such, i really do think its worth it, especially since the movie doesnt rely on gross-outs alone for comedic effect: it also has some really great surreal and physical comedy, and if youre at all familiar with some of jonah rays and alex winters past acting work, youd know theyre both great at comedy acting, and they pull off their respective roles SUPER well. also, some of the gross-outs are actually pretty creative, and i thought they were done very well!

i also really like how this movie feels like a solid mix of both horror and comedy: i feel like ive seen too many horror-comedies that sacrifice a lot of the humor for more horror, or horror for more humor, but this movie has a perfect equal match on both sides of the equation. for every totally disgusting blood-fest in a scene, that same scene will have a really funny joke, like, immediately after. the switching between horror and humor doesnt feel too jarring either, it really just feels like a natural reaction to the situation happening around them. like, yeah, if i was in that universe and that shit happened to me id sit in the hallway of my apartment floor dejectedly and scream at the top of my lungs too. good for you, will brown.

a short review, but i honestly think its kind of hard to talk about this movie without accidentally ruining one of the many amazingly crafted and hilariously creative scenes throughout it. seriously, if youre into weird, gross horror, i highly recommend checking it out so you can experience it for yourself.

(slight disclaimer: as of right now, the movie is only available on shudder and amc+, so if youre like me and dont have either of those, and/or dont feel like starting a trial for them on amazon and giving bezos more money than he already has, you may need to... sail the deep blue sea, so to speak. but if you can, try supporting this movie and the people behind it as much as you can, because they all did some seriously incredible work on it!)

[vindictalead]

/  Thinking about how some servants, particularly speaking; avengers, (or well, I will talk about the case of Dantes at least), get to in a way, live through an endless time loop- in the sense that some servants get summoned under quite peculiar times in their lives; as some are a result of having seen all the trajectory of their life and learning things from it (example: caster gil, karna), some others have seen the trayectory of their life yet remain haunted by their pasts and/or have troubles moving on/coming to terms with certain things (example: Arjuna, Artoria), and others are just-- sort of destined to be summoned on a specific time in their lives- where they know how their story will end- yet are unable to reach that point emotionally speaking- when im saying this i’m thinking about Dantes who is basically the personification of the concept of vengeance (At least as how he has been summoned as an avenger) and the thing is;; he is sort of destined to repeat this cycle each time he gets summoned, this loop of feelings that consume him like fire; his anger doesn’t fade away, it doesn’t wash away with time, and so long he remains an heroic spirit, he will be destined as an avenger to live all over again throught those feelings of anger, desire for vengeance, grudges, anguish, etc. as intensely as if it was the day he escaped from the hellish Chateau d'if, as fresh as when he felt those emotions. 

When you think about it, it might even feel despairing, yet there’s something else to this and;; it’s the fact that Dantes doesn’t just represent one side of the coin, he also represents hope, and because of his story (this might contradict f.ate’s Dantes) I would like to think that he can reach a point of peace;; or i’m not sure if peace is the word, but when you think about his story; it’s undeniable that it is a tale of hope; like sure he is remembered mostly as ‘the most famous revenger in the world’, but when i think about the count of montecristo, I also think about the concept of hope, and him having to live for the rest of eternity in a state of only despair feels kind of contradictory to his story, (and yes i know thats kinda the point of avengers and his manifestation as one but) the point is that dantes doesnt just represent despair, he represents hope as well, and at least with my portrayal, i would like to point that out too, as even if this state of acceptance dissappears once he dematerializes as a servant, I feel like it could be very symbolic that as a servant that is destined to feel despair, he can also feel love and hope. Just like how humans will eventually die one day yet still live to the fullest, and how life isn’t meaningless just because death exists, I like to think that in this sense, his existence wouldn’t be an entire tragedy as a being practically destined as an heroic spirit to feel all these intense emotions and pain over and over again, because there is more to it; and just like in the book; there is hope- even if its incredibly small, there is always a ray of hope.

[ofgentleresolve]

@theimpalpable​ sent in: "You can tell me." (Doc and Ray? C:) || new blog but they all still hate vulnerability 🙃 ( you can tell me prompt. )

Most times when Ray is cooking, it’s almost exclusively a solo activity. Being the only chef in a severely understaffed shitty diner is the reason that happens. He’s sure this is bound to break sort of HR law, but for now, he won’t say much. He doesn’t mind it- the quiet that it brings him, save for the sizzling of bacon grease on a pan and whatnot.

It’s probably not a great habit to get accustomed to either. For one thing, cooking in a restaurant requires teamwork. Clear communication between all moving parts for a seamless dining experience is a must, especially in restaurants that serve five-course meals.

Still. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t mind HELP in the kitchen here and there.

Usually, that’s Lam, but he’s not here right now. Neither is Lex-

Their loss, this time around.

“You know, this was the first thing I learned to make.” He admits as he smashes a few pieces of garlic, using the flat end of his knife and his palm. Not that he doesn’t trust Doc with a knife, but well, it’s easier to do the chopping himself. Doc, he’s assigned to separate the shrimp heads from the rest of the body before de-shelling the tail.

It’s after closing hours and coming in late, Doc mentioned he was hungry and not for any of the menu items.

Good thing Ray knows how to work with leftovers. ( And that he’s hungry too- it takes energy, really, coming up with genius ideas. )

“We’ll make a stock out of it. My mom taught me that. And to always use day-old rice. She sucks at cooking, but she does know how to make FRIED RICE. And stir fry, but it’s difficult to mess that one up. “

And now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t spoken to her in a while. He’ll have to call home sometime soon. He wonders if Doc thinks of his family too- he’s never heard him mention them before…neither does Lex. But Ray won’t ask.

If he’s not willing to open that box for himself, why should he expect that of others?

Ray minces up the smashed garlic before pulling out a pot for Doc to use. “Shells and heads in here; can you grab some water too?”

[peachyninjago]

Anyways, for the ask thing. Is show x movie done yet? I would LOVE to hear about it cuz I think it's a concept that should be explored more. Also because I like reading things like that. Also because I have a wip about it at one point. ANYWAYS please give because all of your aus are the most superior 🙏🙏🙏

SHOW × MOVIE FOR YOU TWO!!! (and some more lfdacbaak :]) i'll do a hc for each ninja and their counterpart :DD

• (this one doesnt count its just backstory aucufuafa) SxM happens bc S!Lloyd's oni/dragon powers kicked in and whoops!! wuh-oh!!! accidentally opened a portal to another realm!!!! ..oh its chill? its chill AND it has alternate versions of ourselves?? oh nvm this place sounds SICK

• S!Kai and M!Kai get along pretty well!! s!kai sometimes finds his counterpart pretty childish, but he cant judge him. he was like that once, too. and m!kai thinks s!kai is really awesome!! maybe he needs to lighten up a bit, but 100% a good role model/mentor!! co-cereators of the 'multi-versal Lloyd protection squad'. s!kai is ENAMORED by the fact that m!kai and his sister are twins. they are also. Very Competitive sugauwguaf. like i said, mentor/student dynamic with em :)

• S!Cole and M!Cole are also pretty alright with each other!!! they're both introverts so. they (affectionately) talk shit abt their teammates w one another. m!cole gets his counterpart into music, and s!cole does the viceversa with dancing!! also I like to think m!cole hasn't really processed his moms death yet so s!cole really teaches him to Stop Shoving His Grief aside and allow himself to mourn. less mentor/student and more father/son or older/younger brother for these two

• OKAY. MAYBE A CONTROVERSIAL TAKE. s!jay and m!jay do NOT get a long. or they get along the worst, at least. s!jay doesn't really like how his counterpart is all 'uwu softboy who loves nya and is too nervous to speak and also does Not know how to invent'. he even doubts that mf grew up in a junkyard. and the feeling is (kinda) reciprocated!! m!jay is pretty scared (and envious) of s!jay. 'he's with nya. he's so much more confident than me. he's amazing at building and inventing. i wish i could be more like Him'. they'd actually be pretty good friends if they just looked past one anothers flaws tho (very much reluctant mother goose being followed by a clingy gosling dynamic for them.)

• MMMM s!zane and m!zane are Complicated. on shows side, he doesn't really like how his counterpart makes his Nindroid-ness out to be... almost a joke?? idk. s!zane's kind of. Afraid of becoming like his counterpart, but at the same time he wants to help him realize that he's More than just a robot. he has a family, man. and a Soul. although, movie is actually pretty opposite!! i like to think m!zane was NOT created to protect those who cannot protect themselves, but to be an Actual son/experiment for Dr. Julien. he doesn't know why his counterpart is so stressed and serious all the time!! theyre Wild Teens!!! live a little!!!! (also very hard to name dynamic?? bit of mentor/mentee AND reluctant siblings mixed in there frfr)

• SLAMS FIST ON TABLE. S!NYA AND M!NYA ARE THE BWORSTIES (best friends/worsties.) they are seeing who has better control over water. they are comparing and helping each other through their trauma. they are fighting over who has the cooler brother. they vent to each other about how hard it is being the only Girl on the team. they're training with each other with Violent hand to hand combat. they are hugging and talking about how hard lifes been w/o ray and maya. they are insulting eachother. m!Nya is taking s!nya on a 2 am bike ride while s!nya is teaching m!nya how to ask jay out. dynamic is ABSOLUTE BESTIES WHO ALSO BITE EACH OTHER IF THEY GET TOO CLOSE <3<3

• and, of course, ops favorite(s); s!Lloyd and m!Lloyd!! getting their dynamic right out of the way by saying they aren't brothers- their Twins. absolute, familial TWINS. they are each others therapists who constantly tell one another that they work too hard. the both probably think their counterpart is cooler than them. idk when this takes place in time, but if its before tlnm, m!lloyd is AMAZED at how well s!lloyd takes the mass-bullying (shows unfortunately used to it from darkleys :[) but, if it's AFTER tlnm, the entire city goes WILD 'omg they're MULTIPLYING YESSS' also, they let themselves act like kids when around one another. they both had to grow up too fast for different reasons, but the fact that they can talk to someone who Actually Gets It helps a lot :) they also compare trauma loll

...oh, and here's a lfdacbaak hc for you!! (I did a whole post of em vv recently actually viaguagwig)

• after morro and nya, wu is the next one to figure out the new family cat is Lloyd. meow meow reacts everytime the word 'uncle' is occasionally thrown around, and lloyd always seems to somehow Find and Bring wu whatever he was looking for (smthn he did as a human, too :])

SORRY THIS TOOK A DAY HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT REGARDLESS GUSUAFUWF7WF

[allisoooon]

Do you think tua tends to prioritize romantic relationship over others? Because idk, it just seems bizarre to me how lila and sloane became the love of diego and luther's life so quickly in such a short amount of time that they both are ready to sacrifice themselves for them and (in my opinion) often seem to prioritize them over their own family. I like the couples but it annoys me a bit that it seems like they havr become more important than their siblings i guess. And other relationship that arent romantic don't get the same focus like for season 2, Allison hardly mentions claire, Eliott bonds with luther but when he dies it doesnt have an emotional impact, s3 viktor dances and parties with the others like harlan never died etc... And luther and allison were so close but when he finds another romantic partner, they never really interact anymore except for THAT scene in s3.. Like if a romantic partner dies they get an arc/time to grieve (diego with eudora, viktor with sissy, allison with ray) but anyone else dies and they get over it pretty quickly.

Ordinarily I would do my "I am old and have nostalgia goggles for the days when there were way more episodes in a season so they had time to explore all these changes and relationships" but the reality is there were plenty of shows where this happened even when they had the time to do this. I do think the time limit contributes to it, but it's not the only reason for it.

Much like with That Scene with Luther and Allison, I think this show tends to commit to things it's not going to be able to follow through on.

But there's also the fact that all these kids have insecure attachment styles. In most cases, I'm pretty sure they have disorganized attachment styles (I am confident about this in the cases of Allison, Viktor, Sparrow Ben, and Klaus, but other people who know more about this than I do might disagree), which means there's already a push-pull dynamic at play. They tend to attach quickly and strongly but push those attachments away at the same time, not trusting them. I'm not sure if Luther and Diego have an anxious attachment style or a disorganized one, but those, too, tend to attach quickly and have a really, really hard time of letting go. Five's reluctance to attach at all could be disorganized, or it could be avoidant, but I'm leaning toward the latter because it lacks the chaos I associated with a disorganized attachment style (although I have a disorganized attachment style and might be even more avoidant than Five is, so it really depends on the person).

What I'm saying is that when it comes to these people attaching really strongly to their love interests very quickly, there is a psychological reason for it, and I think it's very well done.

That said, I definitely feel like Diego in particular needs more meaningful stuff with people who aren't Lila. They were able to write Luther/Sloane in a way that kind of encouraged Luther's bonding with his siblings, or created conflict, or just generally informed his relationships with them. I think, though, that the best way to get past this issue is to have the love interests themselves bond with other characters. Lila connecting so much with Five this season was amazing. She connected a little with Allison and the barest smidge with Klaus, but I'd like to see more. I love Dilila and Sluther, don't get me wrong, but I'm here for the sibling relationships, and the more Lila and Sloane are integrated into the family, the less they will compete for Diego and Luther's attention with the rest of the family.

re: Viktor and Harlan, though, I think at that point, Viktor knows the world is ending and he's prioritizing enjoying his last days over emotionally processing something that he will not be able to fully process by the time it all ends.

The way Lila talks about picking a focus is very telling for how the writers approach this: for most of the siblings, their focal point is each other. For Allison, I think it kind of was? Until this season, when she started feeling like her siblings kept blowing her off (which they kind of did--did anyone besides Viktor try to console her?). That's why she veers so wildly off-course from the others. Either way, unless the love interest becomes part of the family the way Sloane and Lila have, they really aren't a priority for the show and the other family members remain the only constant in each other's lives.

[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

A B J Peter Parker please

disclaimer: mentions of panic attacks, loss, language, and mild mention of sex.

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

i mean..do i even have to answer this question? YES peter's affectionate?!?!?

at the beginning, peter wasn't fond with the idea of randomly hugging your s/o or kissing them whenever. mostly due to the, already, constant bullying he suffers from in school. he didnt want to add more reasons for flash to publicly humiliate him any further.

but it doesnt have to be in school right? exactly. except peter's awkward teenage self didn't let him explore the world of affection since he barely can pronounce a single vowel to a girl he thought was cute.

but y/n happened.

and he simply cannot move an inch away from you if you guys were in the same room. he was shy at first, but once he asked you to cuddle for the first time, the ship never sank. cuddle after cuddle, it started to become second nature to him. he even started getting affectionate towards other people too! (in a good way)

now every time he sees his aunt, he wouldn't dodge her hugs and kisses but reciprocate them. coz he realized that showing your love to someone is not 'weak' or 'shameful'. but its a way of expressing appreciation and perhaps, a sense of protection towards someone.

B = Beauty (What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?)

peter admires everything about you, honestly. you were like his ray of sunshine. if you asked him to name all the things he admires about you he wouldnt be able to count them on his fingers, toes included.

but the most quality peter admires you for is your patience. more specifically, patience towards him. peter can sometimes get way too stressed, even if its from the littlest things. ever since tony passed away he couldnt fathom dealing with another loss.

he'd sometimes get panic attacks just thinking about it. or shout whenever he's angry instead of talking it through. those were the beginning stages of him handling the loss. but now he's completely gotten better.

he always thanked you for being there for him, and never leaving his side. hell, he even questioned how lucky he got to find someone so understanding and caring. but he appreciates it to no end.

what he finds beautiful is nothing specific. every part of you is beautiful. physically and emotionally. he loves how you like to romanticize everything, how you try to persuade the avengers to make tiktoks with you claiming its for memories. how you absolutely adore morgan as if she was your sister. how curious you are.

he remembers one time, before tony passed, you were curious as to how he makes 'these nanotech building J.A.R.V.I.S fiasco' and how you think you can do it coz you underestimated the science and intelligence behind what it takes to make a suit.

you were in that lab for about 8 hours trying to understand everything. it was certainly a rough night. but you did learn a couple A.I magic and you were proud. to the point where it was all you talked about for the past few days. in family dinners, game nights, study dates, even cuddle sessions. peter tried to hold in his laugh because you looked way too adorable talking about technology so passionately.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

oof. well he doesnt mean too, but peter does get jealous. not in a toxic, possessive way. he trusts you with his life, but he really doesnt trust flash. i mean why would he? the amount of times peter caught flash trying (emphasize on trying) to hit on you was too much. you obviously didn't give a shit. i mean he could hit on you all he want you just wouldn't give him the time of day. peter knows that, but once he saw him touch you he lost it.

"hitting on you is already so disrespectful but adding touching you inappropriately to the mix? does he wanna get fucked up?"

"i mean, he does wanna get fucked- hey!" peter tickled your side

"NOT funny" he huffed

"says the one who's grinning right now." he wrapped his arms around your middle and kissed your neck.

"its coz i can never get mad at you."