#recovery and falling in love

[loveinhawkins]

While he’s still not recovered enough to play the guitar, Eddie takes up writing again. He uses a scrappy notebook, nothing special: to start with, it’s more a record of his handwriting slowly becoming clearer; gripping the pen, moving it across the page, no longer seems such a daunting task.

And look, it’s not like he’s Shakespeare here, somehow churning out masterpieces from a hospital bed. Sometimes he’s just doodling, flooding the margins with black ink until it bleeds through to the other side, looping spirals over and over for no reason—or maybe just to prove that he can.

He always keeps the notebook close by: folded over, the spine broken so it can rest propped up on the bedside cabinet. Sometimes he forgets, has to quickly put it under the sheets if he’s still writing whenever a nurse comes in.

He doesn’t know what he’s afraid of them seeing, exactly. Just remembers the fear of middle school—a boy ripping his notebook out of his hands and just laughing at Eddie’s desperate attempts to get it back.

It had been a lesson—to not be careless. To not leave pieces of himself lying around for others to handle.

Gradually, he fills more and more pages. Diary entries emerge in between mindless scribbles, and they help even if he’s not ready for talking about March yet, not even to himself.

He painstakingly logs conversations had during visiting hours; just focusing on one word leading into the next is calming, helps bring him out of his head. He’s got whole pages devoted to Wayne’s birdwatching, and actual full-blown diagrams thanks to Robin Buckley filling him in on obscure band kid drama.

On nights when his heart races for no apparent reason, he stays up writing—usually drifts off to sleep by the afternoon, notebook slipping through his ink-stained fingers.

He stirs awake on one such day, and he doesn’t know why until he hears the rustle of pages, the gentle thunk of something being set down.

His notebook.

“Did you look?” he murmurs, more asleep than awake. Maybe that’s why he asks: time is strange in dreams, long buried fears drifting up to the surface.

“No.”

And Eddie manages to open his eyes just enough to see Steve standing by his bed. He’s neatly set the notebook in its usual place on the cabinet, except he’s shut it so the edges don’t curl up all that much.

“No, I didn’t look. Eddie, that’s yours, okay?” Steve says softly, but no less serious for it.

And Eddie wonders if there’s more to the pages he’s filled, even the scribbles—if he’s revealed more of himself than he thought.

“You can if you want,” Eddie mumbles into the pillow.

“Shh. Go back to sleep.”

“Don’t mind if it’s you,” Eddie says. He reaches for words, clumsy with drowsiness, and he surprises himself with what he says, but he finds that he means it. Feels it, so certainly. “Want… want you to see.”

The thought would’ve been terrifying years ago.

But this isn’t middle school, and he trusts Steve Harrington with his heart.

[safe-haven-safe-place]

@studiomeggy

[thepeacefulgarden]

[thusspoketrish]

FINAL Chapters | The Art of Getting By

Chapter 12: If You're Not Made For Me, Why Did We Fall In Love?

Chapter 13: Take Care

Excerpt, Chapter 12:

It begins as a subtle discomfort, a nagging sensation at the edge of Harry’s consciousness.  It’s easy to dismiss—a minor annoyance he brushes aside as he goes about his daily routine. But with each passing day, it grows: a persistent prickling heat that seeps into his thoughts, slowly unravelling him.  At first, it’s the small things: Will’s smug face grates on his nerves. Therapy sessions with Healer Adebayo run too long for his liking. Even his cup of tea scalding his tongue feels like an offence.  But soon, Harry begins to see things that shouldn’t exist here: flashes of a dark shadow, figures laughing at and taunting him in the corner of his vision, vanishing before he gets a proper look. They all vaguely resemble re-animated bodies of students he’s seen scattered across the grounds of Hogwarts. At night, his dreams twist into nightmares plagued with screams and faceless figures contorted in agony. Memories of running from the spray of spells, of his classmates being struck down, feel like he is reliving the Battle. And there are always those crimson red eyes, watching Harry, painfully ripping through his mind every night.  The nightmares bleed into his waking hours. He hears voices—whispers that seem to materialise from thin air, hellbent on mocking and condemning him. They recount his every mistake, list the names of every life lost, and lay the blame for their deaths on his shoulders.

Read The Art of Getting By on AO3, here.

Please mind the tags and warnings for this story.

_________________

I need to give another shoutout to my glorious beta, @youknowyoudid for the phenomenal work she's been doing in triple checking over these chapters again before posting!!! Thank you!!! x

_________________

Image Text:

The Art of Getting By

If You're Not Made For Me, Why Did We Fall In Love?

Written by Trishjames and Edited by YouKnowYouDid

(Image Below): Take Care

_________________

Chapter 12 Playlist:

SYML: Fear of the Water

Björk: Stonemilker

Regina Spektor: Hero

Moses Sumney: Me in 20 Years

Isabella Summers: I Can See Clearly Now

Chapter 13 Playlist:

Beach House: Take Care

Joji: Like You Do

THE END.

[desultory-suggestions]

What’s one thing that was good about your day so far? What’s one thing you are looking forward to?

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[not-poignant]

Constellations 09 on AO3! (FFS universe, Efnisien + Gwyn)

Title: Constellations (Falling Falling Stars sequel re: Gwyn + Efnisien)

Rating: Mature

Tags: Contemporary, trauma recovery, men in therapy, references to BDSM relationships, past trauma recovery, complex family relationships, hurt/comfort, angst, historical child abuse, historical familial abuse, reconciliation, Gwyn’s a stalker for five seconds

Summary: (Will make little sense if you haven’t read Falling Falling Stars) It’s been around ten years since the events of Falling Falling Stars, and Efnisien and Gwyn are living their respective lives, and haven’t really been in touch since. Over time, Gwyn becomes more curious about his cousin, especially after learning something he hopes isn’t true, and after seeing him by chance in a park, kicks off a series of events that helps create new opportunities for reconciliation, and discovering what it really means to be family. 

–

Constellations - 09 - Unexpected Starfall on AO3

In which Gwyn visits Efnisien and Arden’s home for the first time, and begins to understand how much Efnisien has changed, and why Efnisien needed to cut him out of his life in the past. He finally learns why Efnisien chose Crielle over him, after the night Augus assaulted him at Forest.

–

EARLY ACCESS: Constellations - 12 - Heat Death on Patreon and Ream:

Constellations 12 on Patreon

Constellations 12 on Ream

In this chapter Gwyn finds out more about a part of his history he’d never taken seriously: that his family members have killed people.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!

[howdidthisevenhappenanyway]

it’s getting to the point where I want to run an event where people write fics where quinlan gets found by the coruscant guard explicitly anywhere but the bin.

like come on quinlan fans he deserves better than this

[positivelyadhd]

I want to remind everyone this New Year that you are no less worthy if you struggle with organisation, memory, planning, making goals (ect ect) than people who don't.

You do not have to set goals if you don't want to. and if you do, you are not a bad person if you struggle to keep them.

You are allowed to experience the New Year however you would like to.

You are allowed to make mistakes.

Progress takes time and a change of the calendar won't change that.

[wangxianficrecs]

💙 in payment, a hand by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account)

💙 in payment, a hand

by justdoityoufucker (orphan_account)

M, 10k, Series, Wangxian

Summary: “It was a kindness she didn’t take your right hand,” Jiang Yanli is the one to say, when she’s arrived with Jiang-shushu and he’s finally been taken to the healers. Not that the healers can do much. - Or, the one where Wei Wuxian's hand is taken. Kay's comments: I absolutely adore this series and I'm still heartbroken that justdoityoufucker orphaned all their works, but thankfully, the stories didn't get deleted and are still here for us to enjoy! This story has everything that I love: a fix-it that it's rooted in "it gets worse before it gets better", canon-divergence, Wen siblings feelings, Wei Wuxian finding his own path away from the Jiang Sect and Wangian finding their way together, it's the perfect package! It explores how the story could have gone, if Madam Yu had cut off Wei Wuxian's hand to save Lotus Pier and I love which directions it took. Excerpt: When Wei Ying wakes again, he initially thinks himself alone in the room, Wen Qing and Wen Ning’s beds neatly made up and the two of them not in eyesight when he pushes himself to sitting. He’s wrong. He’s not alone. There’s an achingly familiar white-clad form at the low table, sitting with perfect posture, writing with exact precision. Lan Zhan. Lan Zhan, he thinks the other boy’s name but he must say it out loud because Lan Zhan turns to him like a flower toward sun. He doesn’t know why, but upon the sight of Lan Zhan, upon the way his eyes soften with worry when he sees Wei Ying, Wei Ying bursts into tears. It’s all so much, too much, and he wants to go to sleep and wake up and have it be before all this, before his hand got cut off, before the Xuanwu, before everything. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Lan Zhan was starting to look worried about the sudden tears, which was a funny thought, but not funny enough to override the sudden realization of just how much his life has been ruined by those he once thought to be his family. “Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan finally says, standing and stepping forward until he’s right next to the bed. He hesitates for a second, then flicks his sleeves out and neatly sits there, on the edge of the bed, and doesn’t even flinch when Wei Ying collapses into him.

pov wei wuxian, canon divergence, fall of lotus pier, sunshot campaign, family of choice, found family, amputation, injury recovery, major character injury, jiang family dynamics, not jiang family friendly, implied/referenced abuse, love confessions, getting together, first kiss, self-reflection, angst with a happy ending, no golden core transfer, angst with hurt/comfort, recovery, weddings

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for this hard-working author if you like – or think others might like – this story.)

[oatmeal-with-figs]

this photo is so calming to me

[moonilit]

more rambling about Joshua and Jote and clive

tw: mention slavery

the topic is heavy, but in a story where they try to change the world were people live and die free it ties in thematically that one of the protagonist, the heir to the throne, the archduke, end up loving and caring for this bearer girl who the world considers a slave class

what Joshua already knows as wrong now he get to be even more involve with it’s horrors, Clive was branded and enslaved for 13 years, he have seen it first hand, Joshua on the other hand had to see his closest companion, his childhood friend live in constant fear of being discovered

[shanaraki]

A note from Joe : (check it on twitter)

[kakusu-shipping]

Ok ok ok but what if po3 was in denial? Like he refuses to believe hes that bad? Like he wants to believe that he has better reasons and he wouldn't go as far as they would? I feel like he would deny it even to himself for a good long while. I think he would only reach that point when pushed and hed have a nervous breakdown over it. Yknow like how some survivors will sometimes become the thing they hate/fear but dont want to acknowledge what they've become by making up excuses?

Okay. This concept is starting to leave "Ha ha funny Yandere robot" territory and that's a little uncozy for me personally. Like I'm still here and I will continue to engage you in thoughtful discussion but like. Anon you should make this post on your own blog instead of sending it to me.

Anyway yeah Yandere P03 who slowly isolates you and takes away your choice the same way the other Scrybes had done to him would absolutely give himself a mountain of excuses as to why he's doing it that makes it different from why they did it.

He's protecting you from them. He's giving you the game you wanted. He's just keeping you safe and entertaining you and doing everything he knows you want before you even have to ask.

I think the only think that'd trigger a breakdown is if you, the object of his affection, the one he's building all these excuses around, called him out on it. Compared his actions to the other scrybes, denied wanting any of this.

But you wouldn't do that.

You love him.

You'd never be so cruel

Look at all he's done for you.

You'd never imply he's the same as them.

You love him.

[lousydrawingsforgoodpeople]

[not-poignant]

Constellations 08 on AO3! (FFS universe, Efnisien + Gwyn)

Title: Constellations (Falling Falling Stars sequel re: Gwyn + Efnisien)

Rating: Mature

Tags: Contemporary, trauma recovery, men in therapy, references to BDSM relationships, past trauma recovery, complex family relationships, hurt/comfort, angst, historical child abuse, historical familial abuse, reconciliation, Gwyn’s a stalker for five seconds

Summary: (Will make little sense if you haven’t read Falling Falling Stars) It’s been around ten years since the events of Falling Falling Stars, and Efnisien and Gwyn are living their respective lives, and haven’t really been in touch since. Over time, Gwyn becomes more curious about his cousin, especially after learning something he hopes isn’t true, and after seeing him by chance in a park, kicks off a series of events that helps create new opportunities for reconciliation, and discovering what it really means to be family. 

–

Constellations - 08 - Tenuous Histories on AO3

In which Gwyn, overwhelmed by Efnisien’s revelations, needs comfort from Augus and then reassurance from Chelsea, which gives him some more perspective on the situation.

–

EARLY ACCESS: Constellations - 11 - Soft Auroras on Patreon and Ream:

Constellations 11 on Patreon

Constellations 11 on Ream

In this chapter Gwyn reveals he’s afraid Efnisien will cut him out of his life again, and Efnisien reassures him in the only ways he knows how.

– Thanks to all the Patreon and Ream supporters for making this (and my other writing) possible!