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#regretful?? thats the only way i can put it
skullvgirl · 1 day
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Hiii can i request somethinggg
Reo, Chigiri, Isagi, Bachira, Ness and Hiori first time seeing reader in a fitted clothes
when they see you in fitted clothing
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incl. reo, chigiri, isagi, bachira, barou, shidou
warnings. fem reader, suggestive tones, possibly ooc
an's. hi anon :3 I actually don't write for ness or hiori because i still haven't read the manga and don't know if i plan to, i've replaced them with my favs
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reo
he's honestly way more shy then you would think. he's without a doubt the one purchasing all of the clothing for you so he tells you too go crazy and pick anything you'd like.
he only slightly regrets it because soon enough your innocent sun dresses and playful skirts turn into short body con's and skin tight clothing.
he takes ALOT of pictures, tells you he wants to lock you up put you on display ( affectionate ) and people would have to pay millions just to get a peek at your beauty.
he never stopped taking pictures, you tell him put phone down so he at you can marvel right now and he feels like his face is on fire.
chigiri
chigiri is a hypocrite. he told you a few weeks ago he never understood the appeal of it, just prefrence from a pretty boy himself. that was untill he saw you in stocking that made your legs look so..
"beautiful...."
"hm" you asked him, getting ready for long awaited date. you couldn't quite hear him from where is stood.
"come ere' will you please?" he asks like he was desperate, like he couldn't go another second without you.
"yes-MMPF" he's kissing you, and you're glad you didn't start your makeup yet ;; you smile into the kiss and appreciate the feeling of him sliding his hands a bit lower than they would on you hips and ass.
"so you like the oufit?"
"oh i love the outfit , why don't you dress like this more often"
you only laugh.
chigiri was no longer a hypocrite. may the appeal wasn't so bad.
isagi
isagi is so cute about it omg. he feels like you guys aren't even dating the way you look right now. a skin tight all f/c bodycon dress reaching all the way down to your ankles.
he asks you politely to spin for him and you twirl, but instead of making a full 360° like he thought you would you bend and snap slowly in his direction, practically smoothering yourself in his face! (you were a well distance away, hes deluded off love rn)
you snap right back up, unfortunately his boner did not.
bachira
he's cheeky about it, reaal cheeky.
he asks if he can touch you and your confused on why hes asking since he's always touching you but you nod your head yes and smile anyways
what you don't expect is for him immediately take his rather large palms and put them perfectly on your ass, his head in the crook of your neck and tenderly squeeze the plush of your butt, his face completely red as he's doing this.
you almost want to laugh, but you dont. instead you lightly flick his forehead while his hands are still on your ass and you practically have to rip him off to let you keep changing.
silly boy
barou
your at the (big and pretty empty) mall, dressing room has a chair for him to sit and wait on while you change from outfit to outfit and he's not paying much attention at first really. he was only planning on being your wallet for today, you had other plans however.
not a minute too soon you come out dressed. shortest skirt he's ever damn seen, askimpy little top on along with tall 6inch heels, and thats it! not a single thing else on you.
"how about this one babe, think I should wear this too the party next week?"
he doesn't say anything at first, he can't find the words for what he feels right now. on onr hand, you look damn good. on the other hand, there isnt a single person other than himself he would want to see you right now.
"how about, you wear it, just for me?" his phone is completely put away by now.
you smile and walk over to him. "sure that works perfectly too."
got his attention now.
shidou
he hadn't realize he'd never seen you in fitted clothing before, because lets be honest. he's a slut, there's no way he wouldn't notice if you had a crazy hot body like the one he's looking at right now.
"where'd you get that from"
you look surprised too see him, you were playing dress up in your room by yourself. you didn't realize he'd came in, since he was rather loud when he usally did.
"a friend let me borrow it, just for tonight. ya' know for the party, just seeing how it fits"
"oh really..." he's glancing at you up and down, not failing to lock eyes with your clevage as he does so.
he rests his arm on the door frame and without another word raises his finger and twirls it slowly. you do as command and he can only imagine what he could make you do with more fingers.
"do me a favor please?"
"hm?"
"take your clothes off" you blink and burst out laughing, but quickly realize he's dead serious. oh so this is happening.
you do as comanded, and he follows suit.
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an's. omg guys im back. ( with another highly suggestive post unsurprisingly)
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ganondoodle · 1 month
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1 year since i got scammed by nintedno leaving me forever yearning for a game we will never get and an extreme worry for the future
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apathyfairy · 1 year
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my whole life ive been thinking im an old soul bc everyone would tell me i was bc i was “serious” and quiet and shy as a kid and riddled with social anxiety so i was like ok. i must be then. and now im realizing im not lmao like honestly as stupid as it sounds i think that was putting pressure on me to know how to live my life and what to do all the time but now im like oh im new no wonder im afraid of absolutely everything and i cant function and everything disappoints me it’s bc i dont know whats going on. im new in town. and im incorporating that into my belief system now
#yeah im going insane clearly but anyways#in friends when joey is like what was my past life and phoebe was like oh sweetie youre brand new like lmao me#but did anyone else get called serious as a kid and did anyone else take it as an insult like i did like.#i hated absolutely nothing more than people being like oh youre so serious and quiet like i am but also i dont want to be here talking#to you so i have nothing to say. like sorry i wasnt saying every thought i had out loud like every other kid so that made me 'mature'#for my age like honestly that fucked my life up more than anything else was being called mature for my age. it put way too much pressure on#me and i didnt even get to be a kid because everyone expected me to be older than i always was and now that im#so old and approaching death it's just all regret man i have nothing but regret for how ive lived my life#and im so old and i have absolutely nothing figured out i just dont know what the fuck to do#i just didnt think things would be this fucked up or id still be this lost at this point in my life and its disgusting im disgusting#everything is just so fucked up and i hate it like absolutely nothing is right in my life right now i am truly at rock bottom#like i genuinely cannot imagine ever being at a lower point than im at right now and no that's not inspiring like 'oh it cant get any worse'#'if youre at your lowest point it can only get better :)' no thats not how it works#it can get worse i just cant possibly imagine how and nothing is ever going to get better bc i dont know how to get myself out of this#literally im spongebob in rockbottom but the bus is literally never coming like the bus station shut down that's where im at
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illyrianbitch · 3 months
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Worth It
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Pairing: Reader x Bat Boys
Summary: It can be hard to remember why you’ve put up with your best friends for centuries-- until they remind you why they're worth it.
Warnings: irritation cause of males? perhaps? friendship fluff. boys being boys aka bat boys are immature male dummies and reader is fed up.
Word Count: 3.4k
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
“Are you guys idiots?”
Your voice was a loud bellow as you made your way into Rhysand’s office. From the look on your face, the three males quickly realized that their dirty little secret had been exposed– something that they were all expecting, Azriel being the first to mention that they hadn’t done a great job at hiding it. 
Sure, it was a silly idea for them to keep an ancient cursed object. Rhysand didn’t think it was real, when Cassian came running home and claiming he won it in a bet. The person seemed awfully enthusiastic to get rid of it, Cass had said, told me that it would change my life forever. Weird guy. It only took one interaction for Azriel’s shadows to instantly skitter from the small gold thing, whispering into Azriel’s ears like scared children. Cursed, old, evil, run. 
Rhysand was going to tell you that they kept it, to get a better idea of it, that's all, and that it just so happened to be sitting on the table near your room. He was. At least, he planned on it.
It was Cassian who made the first move, leaning to the side and lowering his head slightly to Rhysand. “This feels like a trick question,” he attempted to whisper, but the sound was loud enough to carry through the room.
You ignored him, instead glaring at the violet eyes that held your gaze. 
“You didn’t think to tell me about something this dangerous?”
“I just thought-”
“Thought what?” You asked him, mouth agape, “That you’d just lie to me about living with a deadly object?”
“We didn’t lie, we just didn’t tell you,” Cassian clarified innocently. He regretted his input once your stare met his and he quickly muttered out a small apology, looking to become as small as he could make his large form to be. 
“And thats better?”
Rhysand let out a deep breath. 
“Y/n, just calm down.”
Your head snapped to face him at a force that made him question how you hadn’t broken it. Rhysand’s eyes widened as they met yours, a sense of rage now flickering in your gaze. Azriel instantly grimaced at the words of his brother, his gaze meeting Cassian’s, whose eyes were wide as his mouth formed a small “oh.” Both males took a cautionary step backwards.
“Calm down?” you repeated, slowly stalking towards Rhysand with an icy calmness that made him instantly shrink.
“Well,” he started putting one palm out towards you, “I just mean that we should sit down and think rationally about this.”
“Think rationally?”
Rhysand looked over his shoulders in an attempt to seek some backup, but Cassian averted his gaze and Azriel simply shook his head. You’ve done it now, was what Azriel’s gaze seemed to say. His shadows curled around him, slithering up his body until they were peeking over his shoulders, alert and ready to watch— in amusement, it would seem.
Rhys nervously laughed.
“Can we start over?”
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
Compared to the others, your bedroom was extremely large, adorned with its own fireplace and seating area. But with the three Illyrian males standing around you, it felt quite cramped. You watched as they wandered around your room, picking up your stuff and throwing it to each other. This was your fault, of course, since you’d specifically asked for them to come. 
“Guys,” you said, “can we focus, please.”
The three males turned around to face you, all looking at you with wide stares and raised brows, as if they had been caught doing something they weren't supposed to be doing. 
“Right,” Rhysand said as he balanced a small porcelain heart in his hand, a Solstice gift from Mor. He quickly glanced down at the object, eyes widening slightly before he turned his head and threw it in the air, effectively tossing it off to Cassian, who caught it with parted lips. 
“Dude.” 
You groaned, rolling your eyes as you walked forward.“Give me that,” you said as you ripped the item out of the males large, calloused hands. 
“I need one of you to help me make Landon jealous.” 
“Not it,” Rhys said, the words quickly tumbling out of his mouth as his hands flew up in surrender.
You stared at him blankly, your lips forming into a tight line.
“What?”
The line quickly turned into a scowl as you held his stare, a look of innocence on his beautiful features. 
“Am I truly that hideous you don’t want to help me out?”
“Oh, please,” Rhysand said with a dramatic scoff, “You know you’re hot. We know you’re hot. But It’s not my fault you can’t flirt normally. This is a perfect night for me to get some, so, I can’t.”
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms carefully, the porcelain heart safely in your grasp.
“Were the two guys from last night not enough?”
Instantly, a smug grin found its way onto Rhysand’s face. 
“Oh, c’mon,” he said, his voice low and sultry. A sense of pride clung to him. “I’m a growing male, I have a healthy appetite.”
From beside him, Cassian nodded with a grin, putting his knuckles out for Rhys to give him a fist bump. Azriel simply let out a small laugh and shook his head, eyes trained on you as you grimaced, your nose crinkled with a frown.
“You make it sound like you're eating them.”
Somehow, the grin grew, his pearly white teeth gleaming at you.
“Aren’t I?”
“You’re gross,” you responded, “I don’t want your help anyways.”
Rhysand let his mouth fall open in feign offense and you seized the moment to flip him off– a vulgar gesture that he instantly returned. Azriel and Cassian exchanged a glance.
“I got you, Y/n,” Cass finally said, walking up to you to wrap his arm around your shoulder. He pulled you into his embrace, looking down at you with a large, wolfish grin. You held his eyes for a moment, thinking about how well Cassian fit into your plans. A subtle sense of doubt crept into you, and once Cassian wiggled his eyebrows, you were done for. Your eyes instantly flickered to the last of your best friends.
“Az?”  Your voice was a soft plea, accompanied by a small, unsure smile that had Azriel sigh in defeat.
Cassian scoffed, pulling apart from you in an effort to see your entire face. “What? Why him?”
You gave a sheepish smile, your gaze bouncing between the three males before settling on him once more. “I love you, Cassian, but you won’t make him jealous.”
“And why not?”
It was Azriel who responded with a small snicker, “Because you’re easy.” 
Cassian’s mouth was open in shock as he registered the statement, his eyelids falling in soft blinks before he let out another scoff. 
“Well now I’m offended.”
“Don’t be,” Rhys said from across the room as he fell down on your couch, propping up his legs on the arms of it. “It means you’ve got a good game. Think about how many people you’ve fucked thats gotten you such a title. I mean the amount of puss-”
You let out a loud groan, pushing Cassian off you with a soft shove.
“Oh my Gods, we get it. You guys are slutty. Can we get back to me now? Please?” 
Your words were only met with a round of laughter. 
“And get your dirty shoes off my couch, Rhys.”
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
“What the fuck happened to my cake?” You seethed, the words coming out bitter and sharp. The door slammed behind you as it collided with the wall, the impact of your entrance causing a dent in the surface. 
The boys visibly recoiled, Cassian flinching at the roughness of your voice, a voice that was usually comforting and soft. The three males exchanged wary glances, and then Rhysand was lifting his chin.
“I-” he started, only to be interrupted by a cough from Cassian, “We don’t know what you’re talking about,”
“My powdered sugar pound cake, Rhysand. I know you guys did something. Where is it? Did you eat it? Destroy it?”
Another beat of silence. You were sure your teeth were bound to break with the force of your clenched jaw, your teeth gritting harder with every minute spent looking at their avoiding eyes. 
“We didn’t touch your cake, Y/n.” 
You glared at Rhys, the apparent dedicated spokesmen of the three, and let out a harsh exhale. 
“There is powdered sugar on your hands!” You said, shoving an accusatory finger at them. "Right now!”
The males all simultaneously looked down at their hands, Cassian gasping in feign surprise– a sound so exaggerated you resisted the urge to hit him on the side of the head for the act alone. Rhysand was a bit more subtle, bringing his hands up to his face, examining them, and then tossing a casual shrug your way.
“This is completely unrelated powdered sugar.”
With a flare of your nostrils, you turned your head to face Azriel, who met your gaze with a small smirk on his face, of all things.
“And what's your excuse, Az?”
He shook his head. “Don’t have one.”
“So you admit you guys ate it?”
“I didn’t admit anything.”
You clenched your hands into fists, your fingernails digging into the skin of your palms. 
“Yes you did.”
Azriel’s eyebrow quirked, and then he was narrowing his eyes at you.
“Did I?”
“Yeah, Y/n, did he?” Cassian echoed, putting his hands on his hips.
Your nostrils flared as your gaze bounced between the three males. You wanted to take all three of their heads and knock them together, hope that one of them would produce a module of maturity. 
They braced themselves for an outburst, for you to run up to one of them and hit them in the face, if anything, but nothing came. Instead you looked away and shook your head. 
“Fuck you, guys. You suck. Gods.”
And you left. 
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
You came to a halt as you turned the corner, now staring into the living room where your best friends stood shirtless next to one another, a determined look on their faces.
"What the hell are you guys doing?"
Rhys looked up with a grin. "We're settling a debate," he said, gesturing to the tape measure in his grip. "Gonna find out who's got the biggest wingspan."
You raised an eyebrow, bringing your finger up to your lips as you laughed.
"Want to place a bet?" Azriel said as he rolled his back, a small smirk on his lips.
Cassian flexed his wings behind him, a mischievous glint in his eyes as he shook loose pieces of hair out of his face. "I'm pretty sure it's me," he boasted.
Rhys shook his head, his wings unfolding slightly as he stood up taller. "Not a chance," he countered. "I think you'll find mine's larger."
"What does wingspan really determine?" You asked incredulously.
You watched as all three males blinked, staring at you as if you had spoken in a tongue different than your own.
"Uh," Cass said, lifting a finger, "Absolutely everything, my dear, Y/n."
You rolled your eyes at him, but began walking to them in spite of yourself. When you found yourself in front of Rhysand, you looked up and put your palm out.
Rhys frowned, eyebrows furrowing at the outstretched hand.
"Well?" You said, raising your eyebrows. "For a proper assessment, you need a fair judge."
He grinned, enthusiastically shoving the tape measure into your palm.
"Alright boys," Rhys said, turning around to face his brothers, stretching his hands out as his wings extended behind him-- almost hitting you in the face. "Let's settle this."
One by one, your friends approached you, Rhysand with a grin, Azriel with a smirk, shadows pointed at the edge of his wings, and Cassian with a cheeky wink.
After all three had been measured, you stepped back, trying to hide your grin. "Looks like we have a winner."
Cassian puffed out his chest triumphantly. "I knew it!"
You raised an eyebrow. "Actually, Azriel's wingspan is slightly larger."
Cassian's face fell as Az let out a loud laugh in victory, shadows surrounding Cass like a mocking audience. He swatted them away with his hands.
Rhys chuckled, clapping Cassian on the back. "Looks like you'll have to concede this one, Cass. Being last place isn't so bad."
Cassian frowned. "Azriel cheated! His shadows held his wings up, I swear."
A snicker in response.
"Yeah, yeah, you're a sore loser."
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
"Why do you look like that?"
You gasped in surprise, your hand flying to your heart as you turned to the source of the voice. Cassian stood in your doorway, casually leaning against the doorframe as he bit into an apple.
"Cassian!" You scolded, pushing your hair off your shoulder as you walked towards him. "You can't just come into my room and scare me like that!"
"Why not?" He said, mouth filled to brim with chewed apple bits.
You stared at his mouth with a frown, lifting your hand so that your nail could slightly scrape off a piece stuck to the stubble on his chin. Cassian gave you a smile as he finished chewing, wiping off his mouth with his free hand.
"Gross," you muttered. You shook off your hand before looking at him again, "And you just can't."
"Well I'm here, so, seems like I can."
You rolled your eyes, but Cass only smiled at the reaction.
"So why are you dressed like that?"
You frowned. "Like what?"
"Good. Like, hot.”
"Gee, thanks," you deadpanned, your head tilting to the side as you gave him a blank stare "You sure know how to make me feel confident."
Cassian let out a laugh, placing a soft, large hand on your forearm. "No, no, you always look good. But where ya going?"
You felt a blush creep onto your cheeks, but before you could respond, Rhys appeared behind Cassian, curiosity written all over his face.
"What's happening?" He said as walked in, throwing himself onto your bed. He frowned as his eyes scanned you. "You look pretty. What's going on?"
You let out an exasperated sigh, realizing you were about to have an audience.
"Guys, get out," you said firmly. "I'm going on a date."
Cassian and Rhys exchanged a quick glance before both of the males broke out into large grins.
"Ooooh, a date?" Cassian teased, brushing past you to sit next to Rhysand on your bed.
"Yes, now get out."
You walked towards them, attempting to grab their hands and pull them up with the sheer force of will. Between your futile attempts, Azriel's voice sounded from the doorway. "What are we all doing in your room?"
You let out a loud groan. "Where do you guys keep coming from?"
You turned around to face him, hands on your hips and an annoyed frown on your lips. Just as his brothers did, Azriel's eyes scanned your appearance.
"You look good," he said. His shadows curled around his body, a few around his ear as the corners of his lips turned upwards. "You're going on a date?"
From behind you, Cassian and Rhysand broke out into a sound that you could only describe as a giggle, the grown males turning to one another to make theatrical kissing sounds.
"You guys are so annoying. Get out."
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
There was a soft knock at your door.
You groaned, slipping yourself further into your covers.
The knock came once more and you closed your eyes, hitting the back of your head against your pillow. "Leave me alone!"
Much to your dismay, your protest was met with the sound of your door opening and a heavy set of footsteps approaching your bed. It only took a few seconds before your beige covers were being lifted off your face. You squinted at the light that met your eyes.
"Well, look who's alive."
You scowled as your eyes met Rhysand's violet ones, a large smile on his face as he hovered over you. There was a softness in his eyes that made you feel guilty for the expression, and the scowl quickly turned into a small frown.
As you pulled yourself upright, Rhysand made himself comfortable at the edge of your bed. "How you feeling?"
Your knew your eyes were puffy and sensitive from the crying you'd done all night. You were grateful it was Rhysand who sat in front of you, someone you weren't embarrassed to be seen in such a state with.
"I just got cheated on,” you murmured, rubbing your face with your hands. "How do you think I'm feeling?"
He sighed, a small frown on his lips as he urged you to scoot farther into the bed, making room for him to situate himself next to you. As he maneuvered, you caught sight of your bedside table, now decorated with a large bouquet of multicolored flowers, delicately wrapped in with a white bow. Next to it sat a small bear, its fur a white and blue pattern that perfectly matched that of the ceramic heart gifted to you from Mor.
"Are those for me?"
Rhysand quickly glanced over before giving you a nod.
"Yeah," he said, "The florist gave me a whole explanation for every flower. I told her that I wanted to g-"
Rhys stopped as he noticed your staring, eyes wide as you looked at him, lips curled down. "What?" he asked.
You felt your lip quiver, a small burn in your chest as you looked at him. Realization quickly flickered in his eyes--- realization that you were about to start sobbing.
"Don't make it a thing," Rhys said, staring at you blankly. But as your eyes began to well with tears, his facade quickly broke and he sighed, putting an arm around you and pulling you in. "I had to take care of my best girl, okay?"
Your nose tickled as the corners of your eyesight became blurry, a sudden pool of tears now at the corners of your eyes. "Thank you," you told him, as you burrowed yourself further into his embrace.
You closed your eyes, taking a moment to bathe in the comfortable silence. But a second quickly passed, and both you and Rhysand jerked at the sound of your door slamming into the wall.
"I'm here!" Cassian's voice boomed.
You blinked at the sight in front of you, Cassian's hair messily tied together atop of his head, his hands barely containing a pile of food assortments. His chin rested against 2 tubs of ice cream haphazardly stacked on top one another, his palms desperately grabbing onto a variety of chocolates, candies, bags of chips, and fruits.
His eyes met yours, instantly softening at your appearance. He gave you a smile. "Hey, beautiful. Nice to see ya."
"What you got there, Cass?" Rhys said, his head tilting as he closely scanned the pile his brother clutched to his chest.
"I got everything," he responded, eyes darting between you and Rhys. They settled on you as he continued, "I didn't know what you'd want."
You let out a laugh, your cheeks suddenly straining from the impact of your smile. Your face fell as you examined his haul, your brows furrowing as you pointed to a small plastic bag.
"Are those... pads?"
Cassian attempted to look down, but the ice cream containers beneath his chin constricted his movements. "I'm not sure, the lady at the store said you probably needed them with everything I was buying."
Rhysand let out a snort at this, his hand affectionately rubbing up and down your bicep. You smiled as Cassian shuffled to your couch, carefully dropping the ideas on your cushions, and then moving to place the rest on the table.
"Hey," you said with a frown, "Wheres Az?"
Rhysand and Cassian exchanged a glance.
"What?" You asked, looking between the two males. "Where is he?"
Cassian gave you a sheepish smile and then Rhys was laughing, a deep sound that you felt as his chest moved beneath you.
"Where do you think? He's beating the shit out of Landon."
✹ ✶ 𖧷 ✶✹ 
oh how nice it would be to live with the batboys with the vibes of new girl 😌 (until they do something stupid)
a/n: i’m slowly getting all my drafts and requests out 🫶🏻
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dollyhao · 5 months
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succubus!reader x nerdy!ellie
summary: ellie is desperate to lose her virginity that has been looming over her her whole college career.
toni’s note: i made it guys! i promised this back in october and it’s the end of january… but it’s here.
cw: this is pure smut, no plot at all lol. 1.8k words
༊*·˚
ellie has not a single regret about what she’s about to do. ellie is in college and is still a virgin, at this point she didn’t think she’d ever lose her virginity. until one of her friends joked that she should summon a sex demon, that it was ‘the only way she’d get laid’. it wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, but desperation makes people do crazy things.
she read in an old book she found in the library about one in particular, the book had a picture of you drawn in and ellie thought you were absolutely gorgeous and perfect for her. what was the worst that could happen?
ellie lights the candles around the circle she made on her bedroom floor. she chanted your name 5 times like the book told her, then after 20 seconds the candles all blew out and a gust of purple smoke floats in the air. you pop out the smoke looking even more perfect than the book describes.
“who dares summons me?” you say in this slow sensual voice that ellie feels course through her body. you look around the room you were summoned in before your eyes rest on a short girl with black rimmed glasses on her face. ellie is looking at you with those pretty green puppy eyes, mouthed formed into an o shape.
“a girl? well thats new,” you walk closer to ellie sizing her up. “your cute… tell me what you want from me.” “i-i,” ellie is literally speechless. shes staring up at you, the lady demon whos probably gonna take her virginity. you have long horns on your head and a cute skinny tail, but the best part is that your completely naked. breast out in the open, nipples standing at attention, nothing covering your cunt and it’s just begging for ellie to drop to her knees to taste you.
“did you call me here to waste my time?” you ask her putting your hands on your hips with a quirked brow. “no no! i-i want you to take my virginity.” ellie says playing with her fingers. you hum, “ok ill do it. but you have to sign a contract-” “yes yes! anything!” you spawn a paper out of thin air, “dont you wanna know what your agreeing to?” but by the time you finish your sentence ellie has already signed the paper.
after she is done signing, the paper disappears. “i wanna let you know i-i’ve never done this before. well i almost did in my fourth year of highschool but that was a missed opportunity-“ ellie’s nervous rambling was cut off by you running your hands over her shoulders and ripping her shirt open exposing a blue sports bra underneath. ellie gapes at you, suprised at the sudden intrusion. you push the ripped shirt off her shoulders. “do you wanna touch me?” you say voice softening seeing how nervous the poor girl is.
she nods vigorously trailing her hands up your tummy to your breast. “you can touch me however you want.” you say smirking at her. ellie feels like she can hear your voice inside her head, a slow sensual voice with a rasp that can only be described as wild and sexy. she feels a rush of arousal pulse through her as she pushes you to lay on her bed. your eyebrows shot up, you feel her start to kiss down your stomach swirling her tongue around your navel before her head dips between your legs.
you buck slightly when you feel her inexperienced tongue flicking all around your cunt. she takes your clit into her mouth rolling and flicking her tongue all around it (like they do in the videos she watched before the summoning). you can feel her breathing heavy against you. she pushes two experimental fingers into you feeling how wet and tight you were. you taste sweet like honey and something else addictive that ellie can’t name, ellie suspects its part of your demon powers.
you grab her hair squeezing your legs around her head trying to contain your moans, no human has ever made you feel so good. you might just… like this girl. she’s cute and gentle. and she looks at you like your aphrodite instead of a sex demon.
you feel yourself about to cum when you push her head from between your thighs. ellie is looking at you, chin covered in your juices looking pussy drunk with her glasses fogged up. “are you ok?” she asked you, looking genuinely concerned. you want to coo at her but instead you flip her over taking place in between her legs this time. you peer up at her with this look that looks like you want to devour her. you pull down her sweat pants and underwear licking your lips at her slick pussy.
you give her clit a sweet kiss before using your thumb to rub circles on it. ellies moans out loud when she feels your abnormally long tongue enter her. your tongue is reaching places her fingers couldnt possibly reach. she chants you name which only encourages you to move your thumb faster on her clit. ellie grabs your horns and pull before locking her ankles together keeping you still as she grinded on your tongue feeling the knot in her stomach ready to explode. you let out a groan as ellie tugs on your horns. “im so close.” she says before her body goes rigid.
you pull away from ellie, swallowing her essence, seeming to have had an energy boost. “is there anything else you wanna try?” you say rubbing up and down her legs. she nods getting off the bed grabbing a box from under it. in the box are sex toys but ellie pulls out a girthy purple strap. “oh,” you say eyes widening, “you wanna use that on me?” you ask with that same sensual tone from the beginning. “yes.. please”
she puts the strap on before she feels you push her down on the bed straddling her. you hover over her dick grabbing it and running it up and down your slick cunt. “you want me to fuck you?” you say placing a hand on her chest still hovering over her. ellie nods her head grabbing your hips panting in anticipation, “yes please…” “ask nicely,” you say leaning down licking and biting her ear. “please fuck me. please.” ellie says bucking her hips. the tip of her dick pushes into you, you moan sitting completely on ellie’s cock.
you are bouncing and riding with no sign of slowing down. ellie is running her hands over your body, transfixed at the way your breast bounce as you ride her. when she sits up, she wraps her arms around your waist, holding you close to her as she kisses your neck and chest leaving marks.
you grab ellie’s face, tilting her head to the side so you can have access to her neck. you use your tongue to lick and suck marks into her neck until you get a little too excited and nick her neck drawing blood. ellie let’s out a groan followed by a guttural moan, completely dazed. you lick at her neck getting all the blood up before humming and planting a kiss on the mark.
ellie is gripping your ass meeting your thrust with her own desperate ones. “are you close?” ellie asked desperately, leaning to kiss you again. “very.” you coo out, kissing her using that long muscle of yours, twirling your tongue around hers.
you let go and ellie is staring in awe at the beautiful look you made while cumming. she lays back on the bed, exhausted and satisfied. when she feels your very sharp nails trail up her stomach and latch at her sports bra causing it to rip as if it was being cut by scissors. “more.” you whisper with a wide grin.
“what?” ellie asked wide eyed. “i want more. i think im going to keep you.” you whisper in her ear.
༊*·˚
I, Ellie Williams, am allowing succubus y/n to take on a human form and co habitat with me. I will fulfill her needs of sex so that she may stay by my side and use me for a long as she wills.
signed: ellie williams
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taintedpearls · 3 months
Text
❀*ੈ˖°.𖥔 ݁ casual (part ii)
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don't buy tlou — free palestine
you can read part one here!
pairing: ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: you haven't spoken to ellie in a week, 9 missed calls and 38 texts from her, none of which you've answered, but ellie doesn't give up so easily.
cw: smut, mdni, intimate sex, the knee thing (e!receiving), shower sex, fingering (r!receiving), switch!ellie and reader, multiple orgasms, nipple play/sucking, fluffy, reader lives in an apartment, ellie is very apologetic, barley proofread & semi-rushed and i think thats it. lmk if not.
wc: 2.9k
a/n: this was meant to be like 1.6k words so idk how we got to 35 words away from 3k but... enjoy!
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(1:02am) ellie
please let me explain
(1:06am) ellie
cmon please i promise it'll be worth your while
(1:07am) ellie
i have your bra among other things. let me know when you'd like me to drop them off. i'm sorry.
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(1:09am) you
guess who texted again
(1:09am) olive
no way
r u gonna reply?
(1:10am) you
absolutely not
i made a fool of myself
(1:11am) olive
maybe and JUST MAYBE
reply to her and get ur closure + super sexy bra back
(1:12am) you
what the fuck olive
do you want me to die? genuine question
(1:12am) olive
LISTEN
it might help
plus she seems genuinely apologetic
why is she even apologising?
(1:14am) you
for being a dick and wanting a quick hookup?
(1:14am) olive
because she has feelings and she knows she fucked up?
(1:15am) you
😐 bye
(1:15am) olive
just reply! say sometime tmrw. it can be easy, a quick in nd out
okay?
(1:16am) you
i'll think about it
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(2:03am) you
11:30, you get two minutes
(2:03am) ellie
thank you so much
(2:03am) ellie
i'll be there
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nine hours later, and ellie was a mess.
you had given her permission to come over and return your bra – hell you had her jumping for fucking joy when she saw that message.
but now she had to actually talk to you, and what the hell was she supposed to say? that she was sorry? that she 'couldn't sort out her feelings?' all of which felt wrong (maybe they only felt wrong because she was staring at herself in the mirror while repeating them for three hours... who knows).
but ellie had found herself with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand and a plan.
a plan to win you back.
she was going to apologize, let you scream at her, and hopefully let her explain, all in the two minutes you had gratefully gifted her.
so, when she rang the doorbell to your apartment after hiking the six story stairs, she found herself staring at her old, beaten up converse. stars and hearts you had drawn all along the sides of the soles almost mocked her.
then you opened the door, and ellie couldn't look up.
useless apologies started spilling from her mouth, panicked words that meant nothing. a collection of "i'm sorry” s and a series of "please let me explain" came pouring out, that was until she grew the gall to look up at you and take you in.
her heart stopped when she did, so did her words.
you looked tired. clearly old yet comfortable clothes adorned your body, you had your arms over your stomach but they weren't crossed, you weren't mad, you could never be mad at ellie, no matter how badly you wanted to be especially in this moment.
words rushed through her head but never made it out her mouth, you were... exhausted. and she caused it, she caused all this pain you were going through. 
“oh…” she softly whispered, her stance faltering at the sight of you, not because you looked like how you did but because she was so mad at herself.
you sigh, you had made no effort to adjust your appearance or put makeup on. you told yourself it was because you had no energy to, but in reality, you wanted to show ellie how you were hurting, that she had caused this, that something fun and sweet had gone sour and at your own expense. 
“ellie, i know i look….” you remove your arms from your stomach and signal to yourself shamefully, tears almost springing from your sunken eyes at the regret you feel for not even trying to fix yourself up, “ but can i please just have my bra back?” you’ve changed your position once again so that you’re leaning up against the doorframe of your apartment, gray sleeves up by your knuckles. 
“no! no no no not at all you look… pretty. really pretty.” she breathes out hurriedly, your cheeks heat up before you spot the bouquet, and that's what makes the tears spill. because why was she here? she had never described you as pretty before, only hot or sexy, so why is she here apologising and calling you pretty if she doesnt just want a quick fuck by validating you? 
tears now evidently filled your eyes, ellie’s kind smile had now turned into one of worry and concern when she saw the tears threatening to spill from your tired eyes, moving forward to embrace you, but she hesitated. will it only make things worse for you? feeling her again? 
“can- can i touch you?” she asks gently, nerves shaking at the chance of you pushing her away for good, telling her she can keep the bra and slamming the door shut in her face. 
instead, you silently shake your head yes and grant her permission to embrace you, it was a stupid idea, really, because everything you felt, all the times she had touched you that you had so desperately been trying to shut out came flooding back and it took everything in you not to sob, the subtle stream of tears gliding down your cheeks was worse enough. you avoided her sorrowful eyes, you didn't want her to feel sorry for you, you just wanted her. 
ellie lets go of you, she’s still standing at the doorway, converse planted firmly on your ‘welcome!’ doormat, she delicately reaches to hold your cheeks and force your wandering eyes to look into her own, staring for a second, memorizing your face just in case before looping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you inside, closing the door behind the two of you with her foot, not looking back once. 
you can feel the flowers gently brush against your shoulder as she never put them in her other hand, but the feeling of them is oddly comforting. you're not sure why exactly it’s comforting, but you do however manage to notice they're your favorite. 
ellie guides you over to a kitchen counter, sitting you up on it and standing right in between your open spread legs, placing the array of flowers opposite to the two of you. you bury your head in your hands, wanting to disappear from this moment and never return. 
“hey…” she gently prys your hands away from your head, and you immediately look up to contain tears, trying your hardest nor to hit the cabinets. “i'm sorry for just welcoming myself in, i assumed you didn't want the neighbors to see you…” the auburn haired girl uneasily babbles, and the tears slow down. you sniffle, looking down at the girl who can’t seem to slow her fast paced talking, and you're not sure how to quiet her down other than placing a hand over her mouth. 
instantly, the talking stops as she looks up at you confused, you sniffle once more and she grabs your hand again to remove it from her mouth 
“you were talking a lot,” you whisper “its okay that you came in, ellie.” your voice is silky, addicting. 
“i just-” she sighs, anxiously tapping the space outside your thighs and staring at her own hands “i don’t know how i can express just how sorry i am, i fucked up. Bad. and your hurting because of it” she spills, shes not even sure if it made sense as it left her mouth, but it’s honest. 
“ellie… it was always more than just a casual thing to me,” you admit, voice getting shallower by the second “and i mean, i don’t know, i always just assumed if i kept saying i was fine with it you would realize that i was who you wanted, but now i know it isn’t true.” ellie’s face drops upon hearing your words, alarms blare in her head because of course it was never just casual to her as well, she’s not even sure why she suggested it in the first place or kept reinforcing it when she wanted everything but that. 
“i know,” she starts off with, you look down sadly, this was confirmation she didn't want to see you anymore, that you getting attached had ruined everything and there was no saving whatever you two had. “but,” she continues, you look up at her again, confused. “It was never just casual to me as well, you know? i’m not even sure why i suggested it in the first place.” she lets out a brief chuckle at the last part in hopes of clearing some of the tension around you guys. 
“but you-” 
“i know i always reminded you, i think it was because i was scared? i was so… infatuated with you and i guess i didn’t want to hurt you. i thought it was the only way.” she remorsefully confesses, and you smile, roles reversed as you gracefully grab her face and kiss her. a kiss that says everything. 
it's soft, gentle, show’s no urgency or panic. it’s natural, and ellie can feel you smiling into it, as is she. 
gently, she moves away and starts kissing down your neck, you lock your hands into her auburn and let out a sigh of content. 
“ellie…” you needily whisper. 
“yeah, baby?” she removes her mouth from your neck, grabbing your thighs and looking into your eyes. “this okay?”
“more than okay,” you confirm, “do you wanna shower with me?” your request is simple, but it makes ellie’s heart explode with excitement as she lifts you off the counter and begins to carry you over to the very familiar shower, the short walk is full of quick kisses and giggles bouncing off the walls when you finally arrive and she nearly stumbles over her own feet. 
you're quick to discard your own clothes, the anticipation building to feel ellie’s skin on your own, the girls anticipation matching yours as she hastily removes her own clothing. Flowers and bra forgotten in the kitchen when she pulls your body into the shower with her, capturing you into a needy kiss once more. she reaches behind you to turn the water on, not accounting for the fact it'll take a minute to warm up and allowing the freezing stream to harshly hit your back. you yelp, moving away quickly in shock, hearing ellie’s restrained snort from behind you. turning to face her, you slap her bicep playfully when the water begins to feel warmer 
“ellie!” you playfully scold, “that wasn't funny!” you’re trying to be serious, key word: trying, but you cant help to let your own laugh slip past your mouth as you join her in the fun. 
“‘m sorry!” she giggles, the laughter between you two dying down “i didn't think it would be that cold!” 
“yeah, well, obviously!” you attempt to splash her with the little bit of remaining cold water on your hands, but you're not quick enough. she pins your hands above your head against the wall adjacent to the stream of water, the glass becoming foggy with steam from the nearly boiling water. 
silence falls in between the two of you. no words are spoken as you move forwards wanting a kiss from the girl, but she moves back. deja vu spikes within you from that night at the bar, days before everything went down. 
she closes her eyes, leaning closer and pressing her forehead up against yours. You repeat the action, you weren't sure what she was doing, but you trusted her. 
“let’s take this slow, okay?” she utters softly, just loud enough so you could hear her over the sound of water pouring, you nod instantly. slow was good. slow meant effort.
with your agreement, she locks your lips into a kiss once again. it wasn't hasty or rough, it was soothing and steady, releasing your arms in order for her to move her own to rest on your hips, your own reaching towards her neck. 
the kiss continuous for a couple minutes, only letting go for a couple seconds at a time to catch your breaths before falling back into each other peacefully, but you were getting wetter and wetter, desperate for more than just kitten kisses on your neck, and you could tell ellie was getting wet too with her movements becoming more and more desperate and rough. 
discreetly, you slot your knee in between her legs while she's occupied with your neck. Almost immediately you can feel the grip she has on your hips become tighter, fingernails digging into the flesh as you slowly begin to move your knee, she groans, dropping her head into your shoulder, moving her hips to match the rhythm with your knee. 
“faster, please” she whimpers in your neck, busying herself again by leaving wet open mouthed kisses on your neck once more. who were you to deny such a pretty girl's request? you speed up the movement of your knee, nudging it up every now and again, removing a hand from her neck to reach down and slowly rub her clit. 
from the way she sucked harder on that spot just below your ear she knew you loved, you assumed the sensation was taken well, your own wetness starting to drip down your thighs, mixing with the water from the muffled noises she was making alone. eventually, the stimulation caught up to her, legs becoming shaky, speeding up your movements and circling her clit, forcefully removing her mouth from your neck so you could bring your head down and suck on her left nipple, and that was her tipping point. 
ellie came undone on your leg with a strangled shout of your name, legs shaking and thighs hurting as you slowed down the circles on her now sensitive nub before eventually stopping, removing the knee slotted between her legs as well as your mouth from her tit. 
“you okay?” you whisper, giving her a couple seconds to come down from her high, the water providing a warm comfort over the two of you. 
“yeah,” she breathes, coming up to give you a kiss on the lips, again, and again, making a wet noise each time, only further fueling your need for her. “more than okay, thank you.”
you smile at her, happy that she was satisfied with your work. you clench your thighs together in hopes to relieve some of the tension that had built up in your core, a move that did not go unnoticed by the dripping girl in front of you. 
“but now i think i need to take care of you, hm? would you like that?” you quickly nod your head yes, anxious to feel her touch on you once more. 
she doesn't wait to get to work on your body, lips going down to suck one of your boobs while her hand moves to roll the sensitive bud in between her fingers, almost instantly eliciting a moan from you.
quietly, she moves her hand that was previously rolling your nipple down your wet body to your core. you open your legs, she keeps her mouth on your boob, but teasing your folds as she ran her fingers through them and pinching your clit ever so slightly, causing you to squel. 
“ellie.. please…” you almost beg, desperate to feel her skilled fingers inside you already.
she presses her palm flat against your clit, ignoring your begs but making you jerk back into the ceramic wall as a small whimper falls from your mouth, ellie smirks knowing just how much of an effect she had on you. she wasn't leaving you ever again. 
lazily, she slips her middle finger into your hole, removing her mouth from your tit. the shower and your own slick providing enough lube that she didn't even have to prod at it. 
“jesus babe… you're so tight” you clench around her finger at these words, and she mindlessly adds a second one. your hands move from her neck to the steaming glass beside you, indenting your handprint through the fog as you lose control over your own body's movements. 
gradually, she begins pumping her fingers in and out of your sopping cunt, lewd and shameless moans leaving your mouth at an uncontrollable pace. she moves her thumb to your clit, pushing into it and causing as much pressure as possible, and it's not long before you cum with a yell of her name, babbling nonsense as she guides you through it. head in her neck as is hers in yours. 
“‘m so sorry” ellie continuously repeats as her fingers still work at a relentless pace inside you “i'm so so sorry, ill never do that to you again.” she moves up and bites your earlobe, continuing to pilot you through your orgasm before halting her movements completely and removing herself from your body. 
you lean back against the wall, eyes closed in content as you feel the droplets of water hit your skin, your water bill is gonna be so fucking high this month, all ellie does it look at you. admiring you in this post fucked out state. you reach your hand out, a silent request for her to take it and she does, right after turning off the stream for you. 
“that was… amazing.” you breathe out happily, she beams at the peaceful look on your face as you peel your eyes open, ellie's smile making you crack your own. 
“i'm glad,” she kisses you once more, the two of you smiling into it. 
“we’re okay?” she asks 
“we’re okay.” you confirm, and ellie has never been happier 
“how about we continue this in the bedroom?” ellie suggests, and you grab her instantly to lead her out. 
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people who asked to be tagged: @a-little-bit-of-everybody ! @lmaoo-spiderman @macaroni676 @p4ison1vy @fatbootymuncher @elliessweetheart
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xxsabitoxx · 7 months
Text
Look, Don't Touch
Gojo Satoru x Female Reader
Warnings: Major DUBCON, pervert Satoru, somnophilia, jerking off, whiny, whimpering, need Satoru.
A/N: this is literally a dream I had so naturally here it is in written form... hehe
WORD COUNT: 2,148 | Not proof read (forgive me)
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“Sa-to-ru '' you drawl slowly, giggling as he only whines in response. “I can walk ya know, Sa-to-ru~” but the man refused to put you down, carrying bridal style down the streets of Tokyo with your apartment as his end destination. “Stop talking.” But there was no malice in his tone, he was just getting antsy, and it was all your fault. 
You had been teasing him relentlessly, in the club, at the bar, even now as he carried you home. You weren’t even that bad off but he still didn’t trust you to walk by his side if he set you down. Given the fact that Satoru himself had a couple drinks, he was in no state to chase after you. “Never, you know you love the sound of my voice, Sa-to-ru.”
He did, and the way you drew out his name was sending shrills of need down his spine.
“You’re so mean to me… so fucking cruel.” He whined, not caring how desperate he sounded as he rounded the next corner. “You love how mean I am to you, makes you hard, huh?” You whispered the last part in his ear, giggling softly as you felt him tremble. “So cruel.” was all Satoru could mutter in response, nearly crumbling when your building was in sight. 
“Tell ya what, Sa-to-ru.” You started, head swaying a bit before you decided to rest it on his shoulder. He didn’t answer, trying to ignore your hand gently trialing across the broad plains of his chest. You could feel his heart racing, it excited you to no end. “C’mon, answer me.” You pouted, fingers still trailing along his chest before finding your way to his neck. 
“Go ahead…” his voice strained as he spoke “...Tell me what you want to say.” He knew he’d regret it, the moment you shimmied in his grasp so your lips could ghost his ear. “If you can remember the code to my apartment, I’ll let you spend the night.” You laughed softly as he sighed. “I don’t need a place to sleep, sweetheart.” He tried to sound uninterested but dammit…
“Not to sleep, silly boy.” You teased him further, dragging your nail under his chin and watching him try and fight off the shiver that it sent through his whole body. You watched his throat bob, the grip he had on your body tightening a bit. “I wanna play with you.” You whined softly, legs kicking a bit where they dangled in his grasp. 
“Play with me?” he huffed out, legs carrying him quickly as you spoke. “Yeah, wanna play with your co–” but he cut you off with a choked “Woah!” which only made you laugh harder. “Sorry, Sa-to-ru. The drinks make me feel more than I should.” But the white haired man only shook his head, if he spoke he was certain his restraint would go out the window. 
He wasn’t mad nor was he uncomfortable. Quite the fucking opposite, he was seconds away from taking you up on your drunken offers. He was shouldering the glass double doors open, ignoring any glances the two of you may get by any passersby. He knew your apartment code just like he knew your phone number, he spent enough time over at your place to know. 
“So what you’re telling me…” he clicked the button for your floor as he stepped into the elevator, strong enough to hold you with one hand as he did so. “... you’ll let me fuck you if I remember your apartment code?” He finally smirked down at you, trying not to chuckle at your lidded eyes and smeared lipstick. “Mmhmm, thats exactly what you can do… fuck me really good.” 
His moment of confidence fizzled away at your tone, so seductive, so needy. 
Fuck he wanted you bad… 
By the time the elevator door opened, Satoru was uncomfortably hard. It was the only thing he could truly focus on, the way his cock was stiff in his boxers, straining against the material and slowly leaking. Every step sent shivers up his spine, the material brushing his sensitive cock just right as he stopped in front of your door. “You better know it, Sa-to-ru.”  
Your words had begun to slur from a mix of alcohol and exhaustion, you could feel your own arousal dampening your underwear but you had a funny feeling you wouldn’t even be awake by the time he got you in bed. It took three seconds for him to type your code, door clicking to signal it had been unlocked. “Ha…” soft and triumphant as he pushed his way inside. 
You had been right of course, Satoru hadn’t bothered looking down at you again until he was moving to place you on your plush mattress. “No way…” he choked as he set you down, your eyes shut and chest evening out as you began to snore softly. “Such a fucking tease…” he whined, he should have expected you to pass out. He could feel his own exhaustion the entire walk here…
But you had worked him up so well that his tiredness was long forgotten. Now all Satoru could think about was the aching hard-on he had in his pants. “You’re lucky I’m a gentleman.” He mumbled to you despite you not being able to hear, carefully taking off the shoulders of your dress and pulling it down your body. He would only undress you and tuck you in, that's it. 
At least that was what the rational portion of his mind was saying, the other part was starting to lose its cool at the sight of your bare skin. “You’re so fucking perfect.” Satoru muttered again, trying to restrain himself as he pulled off your pantyhose to toss into the hamper as well. Your panties had dragged down a bit with it, revealing soft skin that made him salivate. 
“This is a form of torture.” he whined, moving to place you up against your pillows. He admired the way you looked, peacefully asleep in nothing but a lacy bra and panties… teasing him thoroughly even in your sleep. The thing is, Satoru couldn’t seem to pull himself away, not even to pull the blankets up and give you some modesty. His feet were glued to his spot on the floor. 
“You… you wouldn’t mind, right? Surely you would understand…” he babbled softly, hands moving to hook in the waistband of your underwear. “Just… just to look. I won’t touch…” His breathing stuttered as your cunt was revealed to him, so soft looking and utterly perfect. Satoru’s cock twitched, reminding him of what he really needed. 
Large, warm hands were spreading your thighs, revealing the sticky, shiny arousal coating your pretty cunt, leaving Satoru’s throat dry. “Fuck…” he was shaking as he undid his pants, pulling them off completely and letting them drop to the floor before stepping out of them. His boxers followed, slightly soiled from his precum dampening the front. 
Satoru was careful, climbing onto your bed and sitting on his knees. You laid before him, fast asleep with your legs spread and cunt out in the open. That was more than enough for him, fuck was it more than enough for him. Satoru’s fist wrapped around his shaft ,giving it a hard squeeze, whining lowly as his pretty eyes locked on your cunt. 
Carefully, he tugged at himself, collecting spit in his mouth to drool down over his length. “You’d be such a fucking tease right now, huh?” he spoke to you, hand moving faster now that his saliva was acting as lubricant. “Bet you’d be telling me how bad you want my dick, huh?” he groaned out, his free hand reaching down to fondle his balls as he watched arousal leak from your cunt. 
“Fuck you’re so cute… even your fucking cunt is cute…” his lips twitched, cheeks flushing pink as he spoke those words to you. Dirty talk was never his forte… unless he was alone… or in this case, the other party was sleeping. He could never say the things he imagined when the other person was present. He could only fantasize about the things he would like to do. 
“I wanna eat your pussy so bad… you’re so mean for falling asleep on me…” 
Satoru whimpered as he thumbed his slit, collecting the precum and massaging it around his sensitive tip. “Fuck it looks so good… wanna bury my face down there and eat you out…” he gasped, squeezing his balls so tight he nearly doubled over from the wave of pleasure that passed through him. “My fist is nothing compared to your pussy…” he drawled out now… cheeks flushed red as his pleasure only grew with his words. 
“Bet you’d feel so good, your nails digging in my hair and keeping me there…” he could feel his mouth water, the thought of going down on you was going to have him blowing his load before he was ready too. “You probably taste so good, fuck I want to eat you out so bad…” he whined, brows creasing as he repeated his desires, his fist gliding up and down his shaft in fluid motions. 
Your thighs twitched in your sleep, threatening to close but Satoru’s hand shot out and stopped you. “A-almost done… please let me keep looking at your pretty pussy… almost done I swear…” but you had long since relaxed again, and his fingers had found their way back to his cock head. Satoru massaged himself, his tip flushed a pretty pink and leaking desperately as he pleased himself to the sight of your cunt. “So good… but your hands would be so much better than mine.” 
He was going to cum, he knew he was, he could feel his cock twitching in his grasp as he whimpered about how badly he needed you. “So cruel to tease me and then leave me hanging, especially when your cunt is so pretty and wet for me…” He kept moving, his pleasure building deep in his gut and making his balls tighten. He was going to cum at any second. “You wanted to play with me and now I’m just playing by myself…” Satoru huffed, chest rising and falling faster. 
“You wanted me to play with your pretty cunt and now you’re sleeping… your punishment is not getting off like I’m about to… but still.” He whimpered as he thumbed his slit again, head falling back momentarily to let out a guttural moan, he certainly knew how to get himself off… but it wasn’t you. Fuck it wasn’t you, your hands, your cunt… “So mean…” he gasped out again. 
Satoru could feel sweat dripping down his brow as his fist pumped along his length over and over, he’d cum soon, so soon, but he didn’t quite want this to end yet. Your cunt looked so inviting, but he wouldn’t dare touch you while you were sleeping. He needed to see your sweet face contort in pleasure when he impaled you on his dick.
“Fuck I want your pussy so bad…"
He could really feel it now, especially with the way his cock was twitching. One glance downward and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Blue eyes focused back on your cunt, the idea creeping up his spine and reminding him just how perverted this whole thing was. “You’ll let me cum on your pussy, right? I mean it’s the least you could do…” He wanted to cover your cunt in his release, he wanted to see sticky globs of cum coating your pretty pussy.
“Y-yeah… no better place…” He mumbled, tugging his fist faster as his cock felt heavy in his own grasp, twitching and aching to spill his release. So he scooted closer, pulling your body closer to him as he did so. His cock was hovering just above your cunt now, the heat teasing him as he pumped himself closer and closer to his end. “Gonna cum…fuck I’m gonna cum all over this pretty pussy… so fucking mean.. You’re so mean… so fucking mean…”
He whimpered out, over and over as his eyes squeezed shut. Thick ropes of cum spurted from his head, covering your cunt in sticky white. Satoru didn’t stop, hand moving up and down his length over and over even as the pleasure turned into overstimulation. Whimpers and moans fell from his pretty lips as he watched his cum leak down your cunt and pool just under your ass.
“Ruined your sheets…” Satoru spoke to himself, still incredibly turned on by the sight of your cunt covered in his release. “A-again.. You wouldn’t mind if I did it again…” His cock hadn’t softened after all, still stiff and aching in his palm despite dumping a load on you. “You just drive me crazy… you and that cunt…” He whined, fist already moving again while you slept
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thyln4gf · 3 months
Text
Darling, can I?
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✞ Confusing feelings - youre both lost, stuck and thinking about each other after the hookup. But its not a one-night stand if it turns into two, right?
✞ Word count - 1898
✞ I have synesthesia! Heres 5 songs that i associate with this fic - "favorite" - Isabel LaRosa, "bad idea!" - Girl In Red, "attention" - Charlie Puth, "eat your young" - Hozier, "meddle about" - Chase Atlantic.
✞ Warnings - smut, mentions of alcohol.
✞ Lando Norris x reader
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Whiskey, expensive cologne, and dizzying passion.
Thats what he reminded you of. The image of him was burned into your brain permanently. Whenever whiskey washed over your tongue, memories of him would flash before your eyes. The way he had his tongue deep down your throat, mercilessly fighting with yours. The subtle flavour of whiskey and the cologne he used numbed your senses, almost making you forget your own name. No one has brought you to the heights he has by simply kissing you. No one, ever. And all that happened only once - yet, you couldnt help but let your mind linger on the memory. You kept it close to your chest, like something sweet and sacred. But you thought that he didnt feel the same - and you spent hours thinking about it. He was a famous figure, after all. You probably were just another pretty looking doll to him, something he could play with once and throw away. But did you care? No, not really. You knew that you could easily get anyone else. If you wanted to, that is.
Initially, Lando thought the exact same thing. That you were a pretty thing that he particularly enjoyed playing around with for a night. But, after you, hooking up with women simply didnt feel the same. He kept thinking of you and your scent. The way you looked at him (that look in your eyes was enough to make any mans knees buckle), and the way you made him feel. He was starting to regret his actions, as he found his heart making even more space for you and the feelings for you that have been bubbling up to the surface.
Today was no different - he was staring up at the ceiling, contemplating his life choices. It was approximately 7am, and all he could think about was you. Even when the pretty looking miss barbie he had in his bed tried talking to him - he found himself getting distracted. You just had a way of drawing people in, and barely even noticing it.
And, before he knew it, he was up on his feet, getting ready to leave the house. He had already escorted the blondie out of the door, and that was his last straw - as soon as the distraction left his space... he *had* to go and see you. He wasnt so sure if you would accept him, though. He felt like an ass. He used you and threw you away like something disposable. And he was sure that it was an uncomfortable experience to spot him out and about - monaco wasnt that huge, after all.
"Fucking hell..." he muttered under his breath, as he was currently failing to button up his shirt - his hands were shaking more than ever. He knew that you had options, and that so did he. But he was almost desperate to hold you in his arms.
-------
You were having another slow morning - the weight of your responsibilities was slowly, but surely, weighing you down. You had pulled yet another all nighter - your body is currently powered by hopes, prayers, and a load of canned caffeine. You were surprised by how you were still pulling through.
You were currently walking around with a textbook in your hands, hoping that the walking part is going to trick your body into staying awake. And it was actually working, honestly - despite your legs feeling like pieces of stone. The house was pretty quiet, too. One of the things that made you cherish living alone - peace and quiet.
But thats until you heard your doorbell ring. You werent expecting anybody, it was a Tuesday morning... you put the book down onto the kitchen table, and start making your way towards the front door.
You had a horrible habit of opening the door without peeking through the little hole. And you should have, atleast this time - because none other than Norris himself has made his appearance. You werent expecting such a sight, and so early. You werent expecting him to squeeze himself right past you into your house, either.
"What the fu - hello?" You calmly call out to him, your voice laced with confusion. However, you dont question it much, and close the door behind you. Lando almost looks grateful as you do so - almost as if he was expecting for you to kick him out.
He looks into your eyes, just like that. You can see him briefly licking his lips, and one of his hands going to the back of his neck, rubbing it. He looks away and takes a deep breath, before he can even say anything else. He had 'im nervous and overwhelmed' written all over him, in capital letters. But what is it? Only the sight of him made your heartbeat accelerate a tiny bit.
"I wanted to - ohhh..." he tries to speak up, but he sees you stepping closer to him. Your movements made him freeze in his spot. His breath got caught in his throat. In all honesty... when he looked into your eyes, all he could think about was that one night you spent together, and his confusion about his feelings towards you amplified. Your movements were slow enough to almost feel agonising, making him want to snap and break his composure.
Neither of you say a word, nothing. All he could see was you, and all you could see was him. You could almost imagine how his hot breath would feel on your neck, and in... other places.
But, besides your own thoughts, him struggling to breathe, and the distant ticking of the clock somewhere in the house, nothing else could be heard. The clock almost felt like a ticking bomb, a countdown of seconds until one of you snapped. Both of you knew what was coming a long, long time ago. It was just a question of when.
The silly little staring contest continued. But Lando couldnt keep to himself for much longer - he almost lunges towards you, planting his lips on yours like he was a drowning man, desperately trying to come up for air. You cant even describe the noise that just left your throat, though it was definitely one of surprise. But you quickly found yourself kissing him back, your hands immediately burying themselves into his hair, his snaking around your waist.
You both start losing yourselves, and pretty fast. All the energy and the longing spilled out, sending a wave of electricity throughout your body. You spent the past couple of weeks trying to ignore those thoughts. That maybe, just maybe - you liked him. Each and every of your doubts melted with zero effort as soon as you felt him squeeze your body against his, his fingertips clinging onto your clothes, desperately.
You werent sure of the speed you wanted this to be. As if sensing your confusion, Lando slips his arms a little lower, them now being wrapped around your hips. He didnt want to waste any time, nor he liked to do that. Suddenly, the feeling of being carried takes over - Lando has picked you up, and is about to pin you against the wall with his body.
The intensity he kisses you with increases as your body makes contact with the wall. You can feel his every muscle, hear all the sounds he's making. Hell, you think that you can even hear his heartbeat. You can feel a bite or two he makes on your lips, but youre too far gone for your brain to register it properly.
His body presses against you even harder, the feeling making you moan. You hear him chuckle - he's rather happy that he gets to see the wild side of you - youre always so calm, so... collected. He liked to joke that you were a rock in your past life. His hands leave your hips, now roaming all over your body. He always liked to explore - and this wasnt an exception.
Eventually, his hands start slipping under your shirt. His fingertips are a little calloused and rough from all the training and racing, but his palms were soft. His fingertips were still a little chilly from the air outside, and his palms felt almost disgustingly warm. The contrast between the textures and temperatures makes you shiver with pleasure. You cant help but imagine what they would feel like if he put them down your pants.
If you didnt believe in being able to read someone elses mind before... You were about to. Because you suddenly felt one of his hands slip lower, and lower, and lower. From your chest, down to your stomach, and down to the waistband of your pants. But he doesnt go further, for now - he pulls away slightly, to look up at you, his eyes filled with anticipation. He clearly wanted to ask if you really wanted this, for your permission to go further. He just couldnt find the right words - a part of him was scared as well.
You didnt know what to say either. You always struggled with talking about your feelings, leaving alone... these. All you could manage was crash your lips back onto his, even harder than before. A surprise groan leaves Landos throat, a moan - yours. He understood your message well, or so he hoped. He didnt want to misunderstand anything, even worse - hurt you.
His hand does end up in your pants, starting to slowly rub in all the right places. And, right at that moment, you can feel your brain disconnect from your own body - its almost like you were suddenly working on autopilot. You were almost ashamed to admit, but you could already feel yourself getting close. Something about him felt nothing like you have ever felt before, in all the right ways - his touch overwhelmed and turned you on at the same time.
Lando could feel your back trying to arch, and hear your moans getting louder. He smirks to himself - that didnt take long, he thought. Even faster than he would usually finish in.
The orgasm reaches you just seconds after. The wave felt hot, melting your insides and your inner thighs, as you moan into his mouth. Oh yeah, right - you two never stopped kissing each other during all of this. You simply couldnt be bothered to leave each others embrace. Well, you were basically forced, still pinned against the wall - but you didnt have any complaints. You barely had it in you to kiss him back anymore.
And he could feel it. He felt it. He pulled his face away from yours just a little, making eye contact with you. His hand that was in your pants just now comes up to his face, starting to lick the fingers clean. All while never losing the eye contact. For the first time in awhile, the sight in front of you made you blush.
Seeing your reaction, he chuckled, again. You were adorable. He hesitates slightly before speaking up.
"Could I be your favourite, darling? Can i?" He asks you, in the most gentle tone you have ever heard. The thought of it only makes you smile like an idiot.
'Youll know when you find the one', they said. And you always thought of it as bullshit. But right now? You were proved wrong. You were staring into this mans eyes and you could see the world.
Your favourite.
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pacifymebby · 10 months
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Maybe an imagine for the Peaky Blinders where at some point they got intimate with their girlfriend in the boys’ office and while they were distracted she put her underwear in his gun cabinet. Would love to know how they react when they’re just sitting at their desk and they go to reach for it one day and just find a really sexy pair of undies in there as well😂
I have been writing this for so so so so so so so so so long I think it was one of the first requests I got back in November and I'm so sorry it's taken me this long. It's been sitting in my drafts for months. But here it is, this was actually so much fun to write and I really enjoyed it. I just needed to be in a specific mood to write it i think? I really hope you're still here on my blog anon and that u finally get to enjoy the request :'(
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Tommy
🌿 Tommy is only mildly surprised to find your underwear in the draw of his desk. You're always getting up to no good, trying to push his buttons... You're a little minx really, always trying to get his attention... So this is exactly the kind of thing you might do...
🌿He knows exactly why you did it too... Since getting into politics he's had to spend more and more time away from home, always on trips to London, never at home, with you... He knows he's been neglecting you
🌿So, he sends for you, calls you into his office quite calmly. "Sit down y/n..." he says nodding to the chair opposite him.
🌿You're a little uncertain, he looks so stern and serious that you're getting more and more nervous the longer he makes you sit in silence. You're definitely in trouble, that much you can tell...
🌿But you don't know for certain that he's found your underwear until he takes them out of the drawer and drops them in front of you on the desk.
🌿"Y/N, what are these?" the way hes looking at you through his spectacles, so calm and yet stern... You squirm and stutter your response suddenly nowhere near as confident as you had felt when you left them there...
🌿"Um... Well, uh... My um... My underwear i guess?" "You guess?" "No uh... I know Tommy..."
🌿"Right, alright..." he nods and for a moment when he flashes you half a smile and lets out a little breathy laugh you think thats all the torment he's going to put you through... But of course not. This is Tommy we're talking about.
🌿"Alright y/n, and what is your underwear doing in my desk among my tax documents and memos?" "I uh..." "Come on love speak up we haven't got all day..." "Because I put them there Tommy..." You're already blushing deep red, you're embarassed and he's really enjoying making you squirm.
🌿If he's telling the truth he loves that you did it, gives him an excuse to torture you now, force you to admit how much you want him... Something which he obviously loves to hear. Watching you squirm really tuns him on...
🌿"Oh okay, alright, alright... And y/n,why did you do that?"
🌿 You're speechless now, so embarrassed, you can't believe he's really forcing you to admit it but you know he won't let you go or give you what you really want until you do as he's asking and spell it out for him.
🌿You're just not really the kind of girl that does things like this and though it might have been thrilling to do something bad and out of character, you're remembering who you really are - a good, sweet girl - and suddenly you're regretting your little trick.
🌿 "I.. I guess well, you've been so busy lately Tommy I just... I didn't want you to forget about me you know..." you trail off offering him a shy but seductive little smirk. You really want to keep playing coquette but he's really put you in your place and you're not sure now whether he's going to give you what you want or just keep torturing you.
🌿"Right..." he nods before telling you to get up, "Alright y/n now answer me this eh? Come here and answer me this..." he says quiet and intense, running his hands down your arms, taking your hands in his and pulling you down to meet his gaze. He has you bent right over his desk in the most submissive position... You can hardly breath.
🌿"Do you really think you're so easy to forget?" you can hardly speak, just shaking your head slightly, your breath caught in your throat as he tugs you down to kiss you.
🌿 He stands up, letting you go, leaving you feeling let down and if you're being honest, a little confused. You thought he wanted you? For a moment it really looked like you'd played into his lustful side...
🌿 He warns you not to play childish games with him, that in future if you want something you behave like an adult and you come and ask him for it. "Sometimes angel, when you want somet from me, you say please eh? Remember that word sweetheart..."
🌿Fucks you on his desk anyway... "Thoight you might like playing the bad girl eh angel? You want me to show you how I treat those girls?" his low murmur sends a shiver down your spine and when he sinks his teeth teasingly into your neck you can't breath.
🌿Tommy was always going to fuck you on his desk. From the second he'd felt the soft lace in his hands he'd known what he wanted to do to you.
🌿He just wanted to make you squirm first.
Alfie
🐻 He's surprised by you, other young ladies he might expect this from but not you, not his sweet little zieskiet who has the heart mind and soul of an angel. Who is usually always so well behaved...
🐻 It doesn't help that when he discovers your little memento he's in the middle of an intense meeting with Tommy Shelby.
🐻 Tommy thinks he has the upper hand, thinks he's charmed his way into Alfie's trust once again but Alfie's hand has slipped to the drawer in his desk where his fingers skim the surface of the gun he keeps concealed there...
🐻 But where he expects to find cool metal he finds soft silk and lace instead and his heart begins to race as memories of the afternoon before when he'd called you into his office flicker through his mind like a naughty film...
🐻 For the first time ever Tommy witnesses Alfie Solomons speechless. Sure the moment doesn't last long, but for a second there Tommy catches a strange look in Alfie's eyes, like he's genuinely stunned... He's probably lulled into a false sense of security, thinking he's the reason Alfie's quietly struggling to swallow a lump in his throat.
🐻 But Alfie just sweeps the underwear to one side for later, tskes the gun out and rushes Tommy through the deal, hurrying him out the door, grumpy and impatient so that he can go home to you.
🐻 When Alfie comes home that night he's playing the "everythings as it always is" act, grumbling to you about the lads in the bakery, grumbling to you about something clumsy Ollie did earlier thst day... You're listening but only a little as you shape the bread you're baking. You're don't look at him until he says something that surprises you...
🐻 "Oh, oh yeah right, right i almost forgot, yeah, silly me eh, almost forgot these..." he says producing your lacy underwear and dangling them from the tip of his finger.
🐻 When you turn around to see what he's holding you're shocked. You drop the knife thats in your hand and it clatters on the floor. You shouldn't bd surprised, you only left them there the day before, but somehow your strange out of character whim had completely left your mind.
🐻 "Oh..." you say your hand raised to your mouth... Alfie's still just holding them out, the scandalous garment just dangling between you, you blushing at the memory of your time together. Him waiting, stern expression, for you to take them from him.
🐻 "Oh..." he says watching you, wondering if you know you're in trouble or not... You've turned the most adorable shade of red and he's already struggling to hold his grumbling resolve. "Yeah," he says, "oh..." "Thats what I thought an all when I found em earlier right, I though 'oh" he holds his hand to his mouth mocking your earlier gesture... Making thst blush of yours all the worse because you can't tell if you're being teased or if he's really quite cross with you..
🐻 "An you know what yeah poppet? I showed em to Tommy fuckin Shelby yeah and you know he said 'oh' too, just like that yeah 'oh'..." now you know he's trying to make you squirm, trying to tease you. Because you know theres no way your Alfie would ever show another man something as private as your underwear.
🐻 You smile nervously, your blush and your shy giggle as you bite down to try and stifle it too much for Alfie to maintain any temper he might have been trying to build up.
🐻 Instead he steps up to you, traps you between the cupboards and his body, holding your underwear right up to your face, the lacy garment dangling right by your cheek, silk brushing your skin.
🐻 "These my little zieskiet, these yeah are a very dangerous object, and you right, you're a very good girl yeah, so you my dear, you should not be leaving these, dangerous things yeah, you should not be leaving dangerous things like this lying around right, cause you never know who's gonna find em..."
🐻 "Well that's why i left them in your drawer..." you say quietly, your biting on the tip of your thumb, looking at him so sweetly that its hard to imagine you could have done something as tempting as this.
🐻 "Yeah," he says, "yeah you did didn't you... Tell me poppet, cause theres somethin I'd quite like to know right, somethin thst interests me a great ammount... Why yeah, why would a sweet little girl like you do somethin like that?"
🐻 You would be so shy and blushy, you absolutely wouldn't know what to tell him, your voice abandoning you as you look back at him with doe eyes, biting on the tip of your thumb. When you try to look away he takes your chin in his hand and steers your view back to him.
🐻"Remember my dear little zieskiet, we don't keep secrets me an you? Nah, we don't have no secrets..."
🐻 He knows what you want and he's definitely just teasing you because his favourite thing in the whole world is to watch how you melt like butter for him. How you'll tell him anything he asks, do anything he asks, all he has to do is stroke your cheek and look you in the eyes.
🐻 Honestly he thought he was cross with you for distracting him at a crucial moment but now he's face to face with you, now he's got one hand on your waist the other holding your neck delicately, all he wants to do is reward you for your bad behaviour...
🐻 "Think you'd better pop yourself down over papa's lap..." you think he's going to spank you but when your eyes go wide he just chuckles, tells you not to look so worried...
🐻 Fingers you within an inch of your life whilst you're laid across his lap and then makes you promise him that next time you want his attention you'll just ask.
🐻 "Oh an poppet, promise me yeah, promise me you'll give me a little warning next time you try to play a trick like that... Don't like surprises me..." He's practically telling you to do it again.
🐻 when hes finished with you he'll give you your underwear back and then watch you put it back on in front of him. You want to hate his triumphant little smirk but you're still shaking from your high and when you've done as he asked he welcomes you back into his arms for a cuddle and tells you (almost) all about how your little trick nearly interrupted a crucial business meeting.
Arthur
🍂 He had been about to kill a man. That he was sure of. Seething with rage, red in the face with a hatred burning in him, that infamous formidable temper hazing his mind, taking over so that in 30 seconds time he wouldn't be Arthur Shelby anymore. He'd be the animal he fought with every day.
🍂 He'd stormed through the house on Watery Lane to the cabinet he kept his guns but when he'd thrown the doors open, practically frothing at the mouth, eyes narrowed and searching only for a weapon with which to destroy the man in question... When he threw open those doors he found a pair of your silky panties artfully wrapped around the barrel of his firearm.
🍂 Suddenly the man in question was the last thing on his mind. His temper wasn't quelled, all that anger and adrenaline was still buzzing around inside his body... He needed an outlet, something or someone to take it out on, lay into... But he couldn't think of anyone else in that moment. Not now he'd seen your underwear. Not now he'd been graced by a flash of memory, your naked body spread beneath him, your eyes rolled back in ecstacy as he'd fucked you the night before...
🍂 So his attention was diverted and a man's life has inadvertantly been saved because now rather than vengeance Arthur is only hungry for you...
🍂 He spends a little time hunting you down, searching around the house and then around the town looking in all your usual haunts. However he finds you exactly where he wants you. Sitting in his chair at his desk in the office down the factory.
🍂 "You," he says when he sees you, his eyes narrowed on you as he takes in the sight of you. How pretty you are, how innocent you're trying to look. It drives him wild and he can barely control his breathing as he locks the door shut behind him and pulls down the blind, "fuckin stand up when I'm talkin to you sweetheart..." He growls snatching at your wrist, pulling you to your feet.
🍂 he's rough with you but honestly that's what you wanted... Arthur's always trying to be on his best behaviour around you and the idea of sparking his temper, of having him be a little rougher with you.. it excites you more than you want to admit.
🍂 he pushed you back against his desk until you're perched just on the edge and when he steps between your legs, your feet hovering just above his shoes, he takes his revolver out and points it at you. You're nervous, your breath catching in your throat as you look up at him with wide, not quite timid eyes. You're starting to wonder if you've bitten off more than you can chew.
🍂 he uses his gun to push your dress slowly up your thigh, you can't take your eyes off it, the cool metal on your skin shivering you, causing goosebumps to ripple over your arms.
🍂 "You are in so much trouble..." He growls, "you don't wanna know how much fuckin trouble you're in y/n... No you don't..."
🍂 "Fuckin look at me eh love, when I'm talkin to you you fuckin look at me..." You're so nervous and the way his voice comes out gravelly and thick with adrenaline, the way you can hear his rage in every word makes you scared you might have gone too far, that you really are in as much trouble as he says you are...
🍂 he uses the barrel of his gun to push your chin up holding it there digging into you to force you to look him in the eyes when he's talking to you. You're trembling with nerves and sexual desire and he can see both your fear and your lust right there on your face. "Not so innocent now are you darlin..." He growls as he rubs his rough hands up over your thighs pushing your dress right up to reveal you...underwearless, legs spread, the sheen of your arousal catching his eye.
🍂 he can't get his belt undone quick enough but when he's dropped his trousers around his ankles he grabs you almost violently pulling you towards the edge of the desk, entering you suddenly, the shock displaced with pleasure almost immediately as he growls into your ear and starts thrusting in and out of you quickly.
🍂 his movements are sharp and desperate and he's fucking you in a way he's never fucked you before. It's divine, exactly what you'd hoped for.
🍂 "y'see sunshine a man was gonna die tonight right, I was on my way to fuckin kill him when I found your little fuckin surprise..." He growls as he's fucking you, you're so dizzy with pleasure that all you can do is moan in response clutching at his hair for your dear life. Your legs squeezing his waist so tightly as you shake and he manoeuvres you on his cock.
🍂 "Fuck," he groans, "I was gonna fuckin kill him and these fuckin things were the only thing that stopped him yeah so I reckon that must make you some kind of fuckin angel... Doin god's work eh? What kind of angel goes round saving lives with her cunt eh?"
John
🌼 Would be absolutely delighted. All his Christmases have come at once and he can't keep the grin off his face... can't and doesn't want to be subtle even if there's someone else in the office with him.
🌼 In fact if there is someone else in the office with them he'll definitely flaunt the fact that his girlfriend's 'forgotten' her underwear. He's so childish'y smug about it and he can't wait to get home to you.
🌼 He'd have them hung from his finger, slung over his shoulder as he leaves the office early, waving them in explanation when Isaiah shouts after him asking where he's going. Then as the office door swings shut behind him he'd tuck them into his pocket for safekeeping, whistling as he walks home.
🌼 You have put him in such a good mood, theres a real spring in his step and his mind is buzzing with all the thoughts of what he'll do when he gets home to you.
🌼 he'll come in having decided he's going to tease you, play a little trick on you. He'll call through the house for you with a real urgent tone to his voice as if something is seriously the matter...
🌼 and when he finds you sitting in the nursery with one of your friends and the children he'll put on this grave expression, apologise to your friend and send them away.
🌼 "I'm really sorry sweetheart but this can't wait and I need y/n," "God what's the matter John, the family? Is everything okay?" You'd be so worried asking him all sorts of questions but he wouldn't give you an answer until your friend has hurried out the door and you've put the little one in their crib.
🌼 then he'd turn to you, still with those serious, worrisome eyes, he'd place both hands on your cheeks and hold you carefully, looking as if he were about to break the worst news... "I'm sorry for ruining your day flower, if it could have waited you know I would have waited..."
🌼 you're almost panicking now getting more and more anxious by the second, "John what is it just tell me what's happened!" You beg and just like that he relaxes, grin spread across his face as he shrugs.
🌼 "Oh nothing major, don't fret flower... You just forgot these is all..." He says with a cheeky grin as he takes the underwear from his pocket and dangles them in front of your face by the tip of his fingers. He looks so unbelievably proud of himself you could honestly slap him.
🌼 if he wasn't so attractive you would definitely slap him... Instead you just stare back at him in disbelief, you try to get annoyed with him, "For fuck sake John you scared me!" You exclaim but you can't finish the sentence without letting out a little giggle.
🌼 "So..." He says lowering his voice, getting closer to you, his hand on your hip pulling your body in close to his, "if you left your underwear in my office this morning..." He starts, his breath warm on your cheek as he leans in to whisper in your ear, "what're you wearin under this dress?" "Why don't you take it off me and find out..."
🌼 So then he realises you definitely didn't just forget your underwear. The naive 'ad had kind of thought it a mistake, hadn't really thought you capable of playing such a wicked little trick but now he's realised your games, how you're more trickst than he'd first imagined he's actually very proud of the fact.
🌼 he'd pick you up, your legs wrapping around his waist and carry you to the bedroom, throwing you down on the bed where he'd crawl above you, looking down at you full of pride and mischief.
🌼 "So you were playin tricks with me were you flower?" He'd ask, his tone making you squirm and giggle, making you feel teenage and playful and like you might be in the best kind of trouble. You'd try to wriggle away from him, he's got that look in his eyes like he's about to either tickle you to death or fuck you hard and you can't tell which...
🌼 "hang on a minute flower where dya think you're going?" He chuckles stopping you going anywhere with just his hand on your shoulder pushing you into the mattress.
🌼 uses your underwear to tie your hands behind your back so you can't escape him. Then fucks you until you're exhausted, your hips aching from having your legs spread for so long... But you've come so many times you have that warm, all over tingle and when you finally collapse into eachothers arms you can't wipe the smiles off your faces.
🌼 it's going to start some kind of game between you, the two of you trying to outdo one another with mischievous little acts. But John always loves it whenever you leave something intimate of yours in his office and now you know you'll be rewarded for it you do it more often.
Bonnie
🍀 You'd been in his dressing room with him before his big fight, wishing him good luck. You always worry about him before he goes into the ring but you're also really proud of him, and there's something about being alone with him in the changing rooms before he goes out that really turns you on.
🍀 You run your hands over his chest, taking in the sight of him unscathed for the last time, and try to contain your desire. You find him so attractive when he's in the ring and you always let him know. It boost his ego and makes him walk out there twice as cocky.
🍀When you kiss him goodbye you give him a real, deep snog, one hand in his hair, the other hanging your lace black underwear from the gym peg behind your boys head. You want him to have a surprise for when he returns later triumphant.
🍀 He doesnt notice them when he's leaving for the ring, too in the zone, focussing and firing himself up - and your kiss certainly helped fire him up.
🍀All through the fight you're cheering him on just as you always would and Bonnie feels absolutely champion even when he's on the recieving end of a few nasty blows. He knows his little dove is in the crowd watching him and that makes him fight twice as hard because he loves showing off to you.
🍀 When Bonnie wins the fight you're delighted, you jump out of your seat and scream triumphantly for him. Blowing him a kiss when he looks over to you, his bloody grin far more attractive than it should be.
🍀 When he returns to the changing room victorious he's greeted by the Peaky Blinders and his dad, all of them congratulating him. Tommy is very impressed with his work and wants to discuss the next match with him but when something catches Bonnie's eye he follows the younger lads gaze and smirks, rolls his eyes and shakes his head.
🍀Because Bonnie is blushing a deep shade of red. The poor boy is so surprised he's speechless and Tommy can tell Bonnie hasn't heard a word of what's been said since he clocked your underwear hanging from that peg by the benches.
🍀"Alright lads c'mon lets leave our champion to cool off eh, looks to me like he's expecting company..." Tommy is still smirking and his overly casual tone as he draws everyone's attention to the underwear in question makes poor Bonnie even more embarrassed and awkward.
🍀There's a lump in his throat he's struggling to swallow down and all he can think about is you. He manages to stammer out a goodbye, promises to meet them in an hour down the garrison but Arthur laughs and shakes his head, "Nah you won't," he grins, "nah you fucking won't!"
🍀And Arthur's right, the only thing Bonnie will be doing in an hour's time is well, you.
🍀He is so turned on by your little trick that when he sees you he can barely contain his desire for you. He's usually pretty bad after a fight, all that adrenaline coursing through his veins but today he's even more fired up than usual and when you slip into his changing rooms and find him alone, he's got his hands on you in seconds.
🍀he does not want to wait for you to clean him up like you usually do and when you take a warm cloth and begin dabbing at his bloody lip and the cut on his brow he wraps his arms around you and pulls you down into his lap, grinning and teasing you, kissing your cheek and nuzzling into you, making it very difficult for you to do your job.
🍀You giggle trying to brush him off, though secretly really enjoying seeing how desperate for you he is.
🍀"Bonnie sit still, you're making this really difficult," you smile trying to dab at his brow, missing because he's ducked his head to kiss your neck and has already begun to undo the laces that hold your dress together at the back. His nimble fingers are making quick work of loosening them and you know you need to clean him up quickly because the second he's slipped your sleeves from your shoulders you're doomed.
🍀And in the end Bonnie wins and you're forced to accept that you'll just have to wait to clean him up later. He's got other plans for you just now.
🍀Will hold you down in his lap, a really energetic needy fuck before lifting you up and fucking your roughly against the wall. Even though he's going hard he still manages to be careful with you, making sure to hold your head in his hand to stop you bashing it against the wall etc...
🍀He doesn't tire quickly and honestly, your little surprise has given him more of a rush than winning that fight.
🍀Neither of you make it to the Garrison for those drinks and poor bonnie winds up on the recieving end of a lot of ribbing from the other lads. Whenever they bring it up he blushes and gets embarrassed but no matter how many times they ask he never shares the details of what happened after they left.
Isaiah
🐀 Is quietly impressed by your devious little game. He sees them in the drawer strewn artfully over his revolver and he smirks, closing the drawer shut again as if he hasn't even seen them.
🐀 He's biding his time see, playing the long game, dragging the desire out for as long as he can. He wants to wait long enough that you will have forgotten all about it. Or at least until you've come to the disappointing conclusion that he found your little surprise and didn't care about it, wasn't even remotely bothered by it...
🐀 And when weeks go by without him so much as mentioning them, without him even hinting at having found the little gift you left for him that's the conclusion that you come to. That he wasn't bothered, that he thought it was embarrassing and childish, that he doesn't even want to mention it because he thought it was classless and foolish and he'd rather forget all about it.
🐀 Meanwhile Isaiah is enjoying having your underwear in his drawer at work, whenever he has to reach in his drawer for his revolver he feels the black lacy pants there too and smirks. He can't wait to remind you about your naughty little trick... When he's bored at work he opens the drawer to look at them and imagine what he's going to do with you when he finally makes his move.
🐀 And then just as you've vowed you'll never make a stupid mistake like that again, just when you've decided never to behave so foolishly again... He'll have a surprise for you all of his own...
🐀 One night when it's just the two of you, in his room, fucking he catches you out.
🐀 He's on top, his cock deep inside you and your eyes are closed, your lips parted as he fucks you hard, you're right on the edge, your body shivering beneath him, your hands clutching at the sheets as you roll over into an orgasm.
🐀 And then when you moan he shoves your underwear into your open mouth and shocks you with them.
🐀 Your eyes open wide in shock uncertain what he's just put in your mouth and when he leans down, his nose brushing yours, his eyes lit up with mischief, clearly very pleased with himself, and grins down at you, "you lose these?" You feel your cheeks flush crimson. But you can't hide or look away because he's got you pinned down and he's still fucking you, his hands either side of your head, arms rippling.
🐀 All you can do is look up at him, and because you can't shy away, because you're forced to face up to the moment you're forced to acknowledge how much it turns you on... So your only response when he talks to you is your needy moans.
🐀 "Whats the matter mousy, did you think I'd just thrown them out?"
🐀 he will tease you about it relentlessly, loves trying to embarrass you, likes watching you go bright red. But in reality he loves this naughty side of you and he wants to encourage it, so when you threaten him one day, "if you keep teasing me I shan't do it again," he backtracks very fast.
Michael
☘️ In New York, you're his other woman and you're jealous. Hes been spending far too much time with Gina lately, sure you know they're the real deal, you're just his honey on the side but still... You should still get a taste of your man every once in awhile.
☘️ So you slip them between a stack of invoices and stock reports and send them up to his office. You may or may not be aware that his Gina is up there with him. That he's all snowed up, and she's going to be the one who takes the invoices and starts to filter through them...
☘️She's probably the one who phones up for you... Michael doesn't even realise whats going on until Gina has welcomed you into the office, studying you, asessing how much of a threat to her relationship you really are...
☘️ But when Michael sees you he panics, swallows a lump in his throat and scrambles to sit up and start paying attention..
☘️ "Whats this about love?" he says to Gina, "whats y/n doing here?" "Oh so you do know her name... Congratulations honey I guess you're more than just one of his whores huh?"
☘️ you feel a little bit like you've walked into a trap, like you've made a bed you're not actually capable of lying in, you're hardly even paying Michael any attention now, it's Gina who's your main concern. She invited you up here... What does she want with you? She certainly isn't looking at you like she's looking for a fight...
☘️ She's watching you expectantly, waiting for either you or Michael to speak up. Then she takes your underwear and tosses them to Michael who is so surprised by them that he drops them.
☘️ "What do you think honey, you think he remembers who they belong to? Tell us Michael baby, are they mine or are they hers..."
☘️ Michael would he totally speechless, he's looking between the two of you, thinking that this is some conspiracy against him but you're just as stunned as he is and you kind of feel like turning and running out of the door.
☘️ but when you make your excuses to leave and try to back out of the door, thinking it best to leave them to their inevitable fight Michael calls after you... "Y/N wait..." which makes Gina laugh.
☘️ "Yeah honey don't go," she says licking her lips wickedly, "the funs only just getting started..." She says teasingly, her eyes glowing with lust... But who for you can't tell anymore?
☘️ When she catches your hand in hers and tugs you back into the office your breath catches in your throat. But what she whispers in your ear leaves you speechless, your heart racing.
☘️ "C'mon y/n kiss me, let's see what he does next hmm?"
☘️ It would be an evening you will never forget.. Gina was only really dragging you into it so that she could get your measure, wanting to work out exactly how much of a threat you were... Wanting to use you to torment Michael. If he's fucking you then she wants to he too, he can't possibly be allowed to have something she hasn't got.
☘️And although Michael is quietly livid with you in the moment he can't control his own lust, his anger taken out on you when he lies you down on his desk and fucks you hard, your head between Gina's legs whilst she rides your mouth and smokes a cigarette casual as you like.
☘️ after that whenever you or Gina feel like a bit of fun you send your underwear up and down to one another slipped between memos. The three of you spend a lot of time in that office snowed up and fucking.
☘️ and although Michaels more than happy with the new arrangement he still makes sure to get you alone so that he can punish you for being so reckless.
☘️ he will bend you over his lap and spank you making you apologise with tears in your eyes as you promise never to be so careless again.
☘️ You will however be that careless again and he'll be more than happy with the consequences.
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naomiarai · 4 months
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bsf tyun coming over to your place, finals just ended and god, you could use some relaxing time with him. a little talking somehow leads to the topic of “if youve ever received head” now sex talk with taehyun wasn't weird, it just wasnt often and that aspect made it a little awkward. but when you let out a quick “no” at the said question; you think youve never seen taehyun so wide eyed. youve seriously never been eaten out? he asks with pure amusement. all you could let out was another pathetic “no”, this was embarrassing in a way, what if he thinks you're really inexperienced with this kind of shit even though you guys have been friends to the point to even talk about it?
is that weird or something..? you ask, anticipating his answer, no, god no thats not weird, i just couldn't fathom that nobody ever made you feel good like that he says in a rush. wow,, for it to be surprising, oral sex must be the base of even putting a dick inside a pussy you think. but now it intrigues you, how does it feel to have someone's tongue right on your cunt? its definitely strange to imagine but its a thought that comes to mind if youve got someone surprised and only ever had dick inside you.
b..but im curious, i wonder how it feels.., you mumble to yourself, but seeing taehyun turn his head towards you, he heard it too. he pauses for a moment before saying,, i can make that happen, if you want to that is, he says ever so simply like he just didn't ask he if he could eat you out. your heart drops, did you hear that right? did he just blatantly ask if he could possibly eat you out? oh my god. you feel so warm all of a sudden, something along your mind giving you the feeling of saying “yes”.
but what if it ruins your friendship? what if, you gain feelings for him after he gives you head and its never normal again?. over here...wouldn't the bed be more convenient..? you say before you could regret it. taehyun looks at you again, the corner of his mouth twitching up into a genuine grin, so im guessing that's a yes? hm? he asks with a tone of triumph. you look at him with doe eyes,, whispering uh..h yes..
and thats how found yourself here, naked legs spread open, and taehyun in-between them, a tight grip on your thighs to keep you from moving. anticipation fills you as be simply urges you to relax and he'd take care of the rest >< (how is taehyun so calm here idk) you slightly flinch at the feeling of his tongue flat against your hole, the cold feeling sending vibrations down ur spine. his fingers move in circles around ur inner thigh, as he sucks at your clit as he uses his other hand to flick at it. god, its seriously just making you wetter, it felt so fucking good.
a-...ah, dont stop- god you say letting out soft moans, you could feel taehyun smiling at your cunt, really happy huh? your thighs start shaking right as he slips his tongue inside your gaping hole, smoothly rubbing against your walls, edging you so close to your orgasm. i can feel ur close, come for me yeah? he says and its got your pussy throbbing, almost immediately cumming at the end of his sentence.
he looks at you with delight as your chest heaves up and down, recovering from your orgasm. you feel heavenly, gosh was he good ;3 he goes back to lick up the mess u made,,, youll have to do this again, with an excuse that you'd only done it once...
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normansnt · 4 months
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As a thank you.
(Vox x bar tander!Male reader)
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Warnings: Violence, reader gets beaten up and they take out your eye m sorry:(
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"That, annoying fucking son of a bitch" cursed to himself Vox as he walked down the streets of hell to find a bar he could go to.
Sure he had his private bar in his flat but he needed to get away from Val and Vel.
He was just too fed up with their arguments and yelling he needed to get out.
He felt like trying a new bar tonight so he looked carefully at every one of them. When he looked into one of the last ones at the end of the road he looked behind the bar.
He liked what he saw, he saw the bartender.
He sat down on one of the bar stools and you went to him immediately.
"What can I get for you sir? You seem done with today." You commented lightly
"You guessed right, and I'll take whatever is the strongest." He answered trying to sound just a bit alluring. A one night stand with the cute bartender was just what he needed.
"A shot?" You asked back. "Thats the strongest we have"
"I'll take it, but only if you drink one with me" answer the TV back flirtatiously.
You raised your eyebrow.
"All right but only one." You answered while you filled up two very small shot glasses with a light blue liquid.
"Aren't those glasses a but too small?"
"Thats how strong it is its not advised to drink it in bigger portions." You lightly smirked at him.
"Well than, to shitty day" he raised his glass you raised yours and you both drank it.
This was only the start of the night. He kept requesting that one shot to the point where he was so drunk he was about to sell his company to your boss.
You couldn't just stand there and let him, your boss was a horrible person, 'Im way to nice to be in hell' you thought to yourself.
"Excuse me Mr.Vox someone is looking for you, they are waiting outside." You said loudly to get him out of the situation. Your boss was glaring at you with an intent to kill and you knew you'd regret this later, but Vox was nice to you and thats a very rare experience if you work as a bartender in hell.
You lead Vox outside of the bar.
"Huhh...nobody's waiting here" he said slurring his words.
"I know but you have to leave sir, I think you had enough tonight." You said as you kept glancing at the door to see if your boss would come out.
"Shut up, pretty boy I don't take orders from no one not even from someone as cute as you." He chuckled and than he fell into your arms.
"Sir? Sir wake up" but it was no use, you heard him snoring.
"Fuuuck" you couldn't just call a taxi to bring him home, every idiot would take an advantage of a drunk sleeping overlord. And you didn't have a way of reaching any of the other Vees, either.
"Shit." There was no other way you had to get him home. And of course you didn't have a car. So you just put him on your back and headed for the massive Vees tower. Thank god it was not so far. You knew your boss is not gonna be happy that you just left your shift but he was gonna beat you up for not letting Vox sell his company to him so one more punch didn't really matter.
When you arrived you walked into the lobby and to your luck (or unluck) Valentino was there giving a tantrum about where the fuck Vox was.
When he turned around and saw you his anger vanished.
"Uhhh what a handsome little toy Vox found himself, do you have a job sweetie?" He asked in his charismatic way.
"I would not make a deal with you if Lucifer himself would be forcing me to, Mr.Vox just had a bit too much tonight." You said as you placed Vox in one of the couches in the lobby.
"Have a good rest of your night sir" you said as you started to walk out.
"How interesting..." commented Val.
You were working the next day too, of course you had no such a thing as days off. After you got back last night...well all you thought your boss was going to do, he did. However he did something new. Usually he only hurts your body so that you can use your handsome face to lure people in. But this time, he was very pissed you just took away a huge opportunity so...he took away something important from you too.
You had to show up in an eye patch for work today. There was no eye underneath anyways.
Vox woke up with a murderous headache.
"Fuuuuuck I dont remember anything from last night" he said while he walked out of his room to get coffee.
Val was sitting on a couch.
"Really? Not even the cutie who took you home?"
"Huhh, who took me- oh shit the bartender?"
"He could tend to my bar." Chuckled Valentino.
"Fuck, thats...actually nice." That was a very weird thing to do.
You spilled a drink, again. It was hard to get used to only having one eye.
"Shit" you mumbled to yourself.
"(Y/N)... that better be the last drink you fucking spill understood?" Your boss growled at you.
"Yes, sir." You whispered back.
Vox walked into the bar his eyes searching only for you.
"Mr.Vox, what a pleasure to have you back." Your boss greeted him immediately.
Vox barely acknowledged him however when he spotted you at the bar, he immediately walked over.
"Had a good night sleep sir?" You asked while smiling lightly as he sat down to the bar.
"Truly lovely," he answered sarcastically. Now that he was looking at you without a fogged mind in day light, you were even more handsome than he originally remembered.
"What can I get you sir?"
"Nothing, I cant drink right the taste of vomit is still fresh in my mouth." He answered. You chuckled at that. It was a pleasant sound for Vox. He smiled a bit too. And then he realized, you didn't have an eye patch yesterday. He knew because he remembered staring at your eyes a lot yesterday.
"What happened?" Vox blurted out. Surprising even himself. Since when does he care? Since now apparently.
You gut nervous all of a sudden and glanced at your boss who was looking at the two of you suspiciously.
"N-Nothing you know how being a bartender is its not the safest job in the world."
Vox saw the glance. He also saw that your boss was glaring at you from the moment you two started talking.
"Would you excuse me for a second" he said at last and started walking over to your boss. Only to be stopped by you grabbing his hand.
"No, sir don't" you said, if you made such a huge power as Vox mad at your boss, you would loose much more than one of your eye.
"Oh sweetie, your boss is nothing" he said as he smiled at you to get you to let go, which you did, still worried.
You saw that Vox was talking to your boss. You boss started shacking his head and got really pissed, thats when Vox put his hand around your boss's neck and made him sign something.
When Vox walked over to you, you still looked worried.
"Come on, we are leaving." He said.
"What? Sir I cant."
"I bought you, sugar, I have a private bar." He smirked at you slightly.
"Just to say thanks for last night."
And to have you with him, but you don't need to know that yet.
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Toodles I hope you guys liked it😘
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neurosharky · 5 months
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ASPD: The Desire for and Run from Intimacy
This post will only contain my personal opinion and experience. It may not be applicable to all other people with ASPD and may likewise be relatable to people who do not have it.
I am only going to be talking about emotional intimacy, but this post is definitely also applicable to the other type of intimacy!
I'll make myself pretty vulnerable in this post, by discussing my personal experience, so you better not make me regret that!
Abbreviations:
ASPD = Antisocial Personality Disorder
ASPD is a disability caused by prolonged childhood trauma (with many possible variations), that develops in order to protect the brain from said trauma, or rather to help the brain deal with it in some way!
While the consequences of this in the context of intimacy, look different for every person with ASPD, many do report: a difficulty with developing bonds, having problems trusting people & giving away control, losing feelings for people quickly and abruptly/getting "bored" of people, responding extremely to arguments, having problems dealing with peoples emotions/ problems with being close to people etc.
This may be due to a variety of factors, but does often tie back to having no or few positive experiences with intimacy, having not learned how to exist in relationships properly/a lack of being socialized, not having the necessary prosocial emotions and mechanisms to deal with it and other similar things.
While this causes some people with ASPD to develop a brain, that does not have a need for emotional intimacy at all, others develop a brain, that craves the emotional intimacy it has been denied, but which will also fight said intimacy at every turn.
Thats as much generalized info as I can give you, as the exact representation of this is highly individual, but I will offer my personal experience on the following slides!
What you need to know is that I was accidentally neglected for huge parts of my childhood and teens and did not get my emotional and social needs met most of the time, while also knowing that my parents were theoretically capable of that, as they were giving everything I lacked to my sibling.
This caused me to grow up with a burning desire for intimacy, while being disappointed by people time and time again, failing to actually develop the things needed to experience this intimacy and partially growing to resent it and viewing it as "weak" and "bad".
Ever since then I have been stuck in what I like to call the "ASPD stages of running". Theres different points in getting close to people (in any nature of a relationship), that'll send me running and feeling like I am "weak" for wanting it, or as if being close to people is the worst thing that could happen.
The stages (simply put) are:
1. Desiring/Daydreaming about my dream relationship
2. Looking at peoples relationships/Looking at people with the intent of getting closer to them
3. Talking to people (online or irl)
4. Getting closer / being friends with people
5. Being friends with people for longer
Optionally:
6. Getting so close that a romantic relationship may happen
7. The moment of getting in the relationship / the days after
8. Being in the relationship for a bit
At any of those stages, I'll very likely have one or multiple moments where my ASPD will try to get the better of me and will try to convince me to just run away, drop contact and never talk about it again. Even just admitting to this and talking about it is hard as fuck, because it is so deeply ingrained in my brain to see emotional intimacy as a weak and dangerous thing.
What this will look like exactly really depends on the person and situation, but things that have happened in the past were:
• blocking the person and everyone I am friends with and pretending I am no longer alive
• my brain fixating on their faults in order to give me a good reason to hate them so I don't get closer to them and can hold them at arms length
• responding less often/more dryly or ignoring messages entirely
• not replicating the energy of the conversation/relationship
• staging an incident so I ruin the relationship
• running at the first signs of a disagreement
• avoiding people when they are emotional
• feeling uncomfortable around people as a whole => isolating
• beating myself up about letting it happen again
• impulsively bumping the relationship to another stage, just to immediately regret it (in a "fuck that has consequences" way)
• shutting off all my emotions, dissociate or otherwise make sure to stop the feelings (or just lose them automatically)
To put it in a shorter and more simple way, I'll usually either get the fuck outta there, or make sure to change the relationship/my personal position in the relationship to a more comfortable and less vulnerable and intimate level. This may also just look like me shutting off, becoming distant, or seeming mad, when all I am is overwhelmed by the intimacy and grossed out that I actually need and desire that.
As you can possibly imagine, that is not the most useful thing, as it causes issues in relationships, cuts friendships short and makes dealing with people a lot harder!
The most frustrating thing about this for me though is, that even if the most perfect friend or partner came along and even if the relationship would work at first, I am very very likely to crash it against the wall, simply because my brain cannot handle having the things, that it needs and desires.
It desires a hug and runs from the one who offers it.
It needs help and bites the hand that does.
It needs love and gets grossed out by whoever offers it.
It wants attention and can't handle it when it gets it.
It wants gifts, but doesnt know what to do when it gets them.
Whatever it wants, it can't have, so it keeps wanting, keeps yearning, keeps desiring and has to watch itself be unable to accept any of it.
And if that sounds painful, thats because it is.
Its a vicious kind of pain when you have to watch yourself ruin yet another thing, because your brain can't handle it, while you scream at it in frustration to get its act together, because it also is everything you desperately need.
ASPD sucks when it comes to intimacy and it especially sucks when it comes to talking about it, or being honest about these problems. It developed to protect me from being too "weak" to deal with the trauma and now its practically preventing me from showing any "weakness" or seeking out what previously hurt me. Which wouldn't be this bad, if I didn't still have this kid in me that just wants to be loved and daydreams about all the things, the ASPD hates.
When your shell disagrees with your core and you're not strong enough yet to break your shell, what does that really leave you with, other than curling up into a spiky ball and letting the shell do its job? I know I still need the protection, but I wish it wasn't actively preventing me from learning to live without it.
First posted on my instagram (same @)
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kalims · 2 years
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‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "what the—please put me down,, it's not a wedding nor am i ready to get married!"
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bridal style but it's not a wedding,
or in which, they carry you bridal style.
characters. dorm leaders.
includes. gn reader, this is a small treat for over 4k followers :) since I still wanted to give yall one
cw. reader impied to be injured/sick.
note. I rate sumeru archon quest a solid 9.7/10 and yes, I only finished it yesterday LMAO. u wondering why malleus' is different? thats right he's just special. <3
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— riddle rosehearts
"you okay there?" you stare at riddle knowingly. eyeing his red face that was neither from embarrassment nor anger. the man in question nods stiffly, adjusting his hold on you in a way that makes you fly for a second.
riddle grits out an answer. ignoring the way he was painstakingly slow on taking you to whatever destination. gods.. he's never been so mad at the fact that the infirmary was so far. "I'm doing just..—" he trips on a small pen that was just coincidentally in the middle of the hallway, nearly tumbling forward and leering you to the ground but he catched himself at the last moment.
and pretended nothing just happened but he definitely just spared a searing look towards the innocent pen. "—fine."
"it's fine. I can walk." you eventually nudge him however he seems more determined hearing your words. noticing your particular look riddle panics. "w-wait.. it's alright! I'm doing okay!"
it's not that you're light, or heavy at all. but in general riddle is far more impressive in the.. magical aspect, in terms of heavy lifting in heartslabyul. he leaves it to trey, cater and other residents who are far more competent than him.
you shake your head, he was being oddly intent with this. "if I can't even do this when you are in need of care how will i learn in the future?" riddle frustratingly sighs. sure, he can admit he was probably gonna sleep tonight and wake up with sore arms but the very least,, you'd see him as a strong person. inside and out.
that was quite suggestive, not in the way you're thinking but rather.. "oh? so.. you see a future with me?" placing a hand on your chest you smile at riddle who wastes no time dropping you. you reminisced a long lost.. experience when you fell because honestly, the pain you felt in your bottom was excruciating.
he glares at you despite the steam animatedly coming out of his ears. "is this a joke? I—" riddle paused as if just noticing your clear pain even though you wear a tight lipped smile on your face.
then he panics again, crouching down. "I'm sorry.. I was careless."
meanwhile. I can't tell if all the pain I'm feeling right now is worth it for his vision of the future and concern.
you continue to stare at the wall in a daze, completely silence as riddle is in an inner monolog regretting his life choices.
leona kingscholar
"oi. are you paying me for this, I don't give out service for free."
leona says but you merely squint at him. "since when was money something you needed?" you point a finger at him accusingly but he just shrugs, annoyingly enough. "dunno. might need it. you'll pay me back somehow. I'll make sure of it." he makes a show of trying to intimidate you with his stare.
you flail your arms around in frustration, pretending to not notice the stare he directed at you when you accidentally hit him in the face. you definitely did not want to be under leona's crazy favors again.. "but im gonna die if you don't bring me there?!"
"it's just a fractured rib. ah. right, tell me. who did this to you." leona plays it off cooly but you know full well what his words imply. now,, should you destroy someone's life or spare mercy on them? meh.. either way you probably didn't have a choice because ruggie was there and the hyena was gonna rat it out to leona anyways. "some random from diasomnia. it's not that serious."
maybe it was a bad idea mentioning diasomnia cause leona has this scary look on his face right now and you're sure he's gonna be 100x more merciless on them since they're in the dorm of someone he hates. "not that serious? look at you. you look like you're gonna die from every breath and move you take." he huffed.
how ironic. "didn't you say that it's 'just' a fractured rib?"
leona just ignores you but he's slowed down considerably, which you'd like to think for your sake when he realizes that you indeed,, are struggling whenever you move.
the silence was quite awkward so after a while you decide to speak.
"anyways. if you don't need money just tell me what you do need so I can get it over with as soon as possible."
leona doesn't look at you until you're at the very door of the infirmary itself. since when did you arrive? time flew by quite quick or he's really just that athletic.
you expect not to get an answer till he places his hand on the knob, preparing to open it and then freezing. then, he looks at you finally. "you. i need you to get better so you can come back to me."
you were about to have an inner crisis— scratch that you were having an inner crisis when there's someone clearing their throat and a seemingly long object making contact with a palm. you both turn and see crewel looking quite furious. he points at leona.
"pups and kitties don't get along. scram little one, I'll take care of them."
leona looked like he just didn't care but definitely iffed by crewel ruining the moment.
you hear something about audacity and kitties.
azul ashengrotto
"i... they'd be better off with someone else." azul trails off. looking away and clearing his throat, crewel spares him an unimpressed look. looking thoroughly bold enough to start whipping his little stick around for a spin.
crewel glares at him. "you are the only person in here ashengrotto. do you think this is a choice? would you rather them writhing on the floor then?" at his azul's lips grow thin and he's trying quite hard to avoid the man's narrowed eyes.
he points at jade; who sits at a chair right next to you. the man in question lifts his head, somehow probably feeling the finger pointed at him. jade does look like he already knew it was azul and grins. he feigns confusion. ".. what about jade then..? he's far more equipped to carry them."
azul debates, strangely intent on not being the one to carry you to the infirmary. crewel drags a hand down his face. "no. that pup is injured as well, are you blind? leech has a broken leg." the man points at the poorly done bandages around jade's leg, an indication that the one who did it wasn't exactly a professional.
you just feel like a bystander to this weird conversion going back and forth.
jade places a hand over his knee and rubs it slowly. "ah.. yes, it's quite the chore for me to walk. imagine me carrying someone else, it must be painful." you look back and forth toward the two octavinelle students.
azul looks like the mixture of bursting a nerve and embarrassment. jade looks at him knowing full well that he could have broken another limb and be able to walk just fine. but it's quite funny azul trying to hide a.. fact from you.
"no i—"
crewel shakes his head. "it is final. you carry them there or else."
to his relief crewel ushers jade to follow as he walks out the door. but his friend still had the audacity to smile at him as he passes through the door.
when I get my hands on him I'll...
"it's okay. you can't carry me, right?"
at your seeming reassurance azul flushes and looks like he's at a loss of words. before he can speak you already beat him to it. "jade told me that you can't do much heavy lifting. in your human form that is." you laugh.
azul looks down in shame and embarrassment. perhaps he could scam I mean.. gain a new client that was willing to swap strength with him?
"that's alright. just keep in mind that I'll be looking forward to see how strong you are in your mer-form."
he flushes completely.
wait how was he gonna get you to the infirmary..?
kalim al asim
jamil is in a dilemma.
he isn't usually someone to tolerate another person's presence but your annoying little self still somehow wormed your way into his heart—non consensual of course. he doesn't like worms at all by the way.
so naturally he's a little.. concerned, just a little that kalim insists on being the one to carry you to the infirmary and as far as jamil knew, kalim hasn't exactly been working on his physical stature with the exception of the painfully long, hot walks in the desert.
"jamil! it's okay. really, I got this." kalim flashes the man a bright smile which only further raises his concern or whether or not you're gonna arrive in the infirmary with more injuries than you were supposed to.
it's not that jamil doesn't trust kalim—actually he doesn't.. but the the boy can be quite clumsy and as much as kalim seems to be willing to give you about a thousand gold bars if you asked for it he just isn't convinced.
plus you're as equally stupid.
and the only thing you and kalim don't know about each other is that you're utterly whipped and jamil also didn't consent to knowing this. so he resists the urge to roll his eyes when you nod. "yeah! I'm sure you have other vice-dorm leaders stuff to do!"
"see?!"
if it meant picking between taking the risk and safety of his admittedly, close friend what would he choose?
yeah he's not dealing with this. jamil closes his eyes. "then kalim would have 'dorm leader stuff' to do as well so I trust you to go there yourself?" which is typically jamil's silent threat but totally with love.
kalim looks confused. "I... do?"
miraculously enough he turns to you and you both start acting like you didn't just sprain your knee. "I'm a dorm leader too.. doesn't that mean i have dorm leader stuff too?" your face scrunched up in distaste at the thought of even more work meanwhile kalims brightens.
he seems ecstatic and you do not. "we're the same!"
jamil tries to cut in. "guys please. can we just get (name) to the infirmary first..?" he sighs quietly. wondering what he did in this past life to receive such a troublesome one.
you both ignore him.
"YES. if they finish treating you we can do dorm leader stuff together, let's go!"
you won't be that stupid to turn face at the relevation, rig— oh nevermind you are.
in the end you thankfully did not arrive to the infirmary with an additional injury but you certainly did get a whirling headache when you did from how fast kalim's carpet moved.
jamil swears to never do this again.
vil schoenheit
you're a little worried. if there's anything you're absolutely sure of it's that vil deserves to do everything full of luxury; it lives up to his very existence! some dirt like you compared to a literal diamond? oh geez, you don't even wanna start.
sure you're no better than one of his fans that fell in love with his looks however you can't deny that it was the thing that got you entranced in the first place. though you will admit that vil had a way with words that got you reeling in the second you met.
there's about a hundred things you'd list as to why you like him a lot.
which is why you're doubtful and refuting his offer to carry you. vil must have other better things to do than deal with you just cause of a small little slip. "it's fine. I can do it go do your thing." though vil stares at you pointedly as if looking for confirmation that you actually just turned him down.
"are you looking down on me? I can do this."
in a panic you frantically shake your head. "no!"
you'd never even dream of looking down on vil. if there was anything that was on the bottom it'd be you while he's WAY up there.
vil softly drags his palm against his forehead, careful to not smudge the makeup that lays there. he resists the urge to glare at you—which he apparently could not, since you already avoided his gaze the moment he cast his eyes on you.
"then what is the problem? I do not see one. do you perhaps don't like me?" vil rolls his eyes at you and the sheer audacity in his words to assume that you don't almost has you quaking in your boots!
honestly what's there to not like about him?! sure his mindset about beauty is a little.. strange but it's definitely admirable.
this time you shake your head frivolously, so much that you were actually starting to get dizzy. "absolutely not. don't even say that, I like you the most." you say seriously and your words actually halt vil right in his movements.
he stares at you again and you realize how risky what you said is.
so you throw up your arms and attempt to change the subject. "well. not that it matters, what im saying is! you don't need to dirty yourself for me."
vil raises that judging brow. "no? if you think so highly of me then surely i should treat the one i like most the same."
me..? you think dumbly.
in your flabbergasted state vil takes advantage of you actually end up in the infirmary still stunned to silence as he casually fixes up your appearance.
idia shroud
idia can't tell if he just fell from sheer anxiety or just he couldn't really do it.
but right now all he wants is to dig out a hole, crawl into it and close it then refuse to leave it till the rest of humanity is wiped out from existence because he'll never forget about the embarrassment he's feeling right now.
right, let's rewind! it just so happens that one of the things crowley gave you as work for free residency in ramshackle is that you'd have to assist professors as an assistance of sorts. simple really.
but then no one noticed the way you deliberately freeze in the middle of walking, pretending to sight see outside when your surroundings are literally spinning and your head is pounding from it. there's the peak of the pound then it slowly calms down.
to your unfortunate it didn't mean the pain went away.
it actually hurt you to stand up. more so deal with the bundle of immature third years who aren't any better than the other lower years! you've seen many younger people be more mature than these guys and it's infuriating.
though idia noticed.
it's hard not to when he has no one to talk to, no one to occupy his attention with except you.
so with his full attention of course he noticed the concerning behavior you displayed. and idia debated whether or not to snitch but he has crippling anxiety and his head is just full of doubts. eventually he came to a conclusion that he won't because it'll 'probably be a mistake'
and he did make a mistake, which is not snitching on you. to think he used to say snitches get no bitches. his silence ended up with you passed out on the floor, and your loud thunk completely silenced the whole room.
and now he's the one being ordered to carry you because he 'understood' the lesson best compared to his classmates—and you both knew each other better.
he doesn't even wanna try at all but why the heck isn't ortho answering his comms?! this is a real life EMERGENCY!
between letting you burn up here and possibly humiliating himself idia chooses the latter. his little prophecy did turn out right since when he got you, and lifted you up he tripped immediately.
"good heavens help me..." idia mutters to himself. unable to wait to see his bed and hide in it for the span of the following weeks.
well atleast when you woke up; first thing you saw was idia grinding on your account with his phone since you graciously gave him. he flashes you a wobbly smile and you wonder why he looks exhausted.
malleus draconia
a school play.
you were picked for a school play.
WHY?!?!? was the first thing you screeched in your mind and you didn't even care that there might actually be a mind reader in the room that would hear your screaming and suffer a concussion from how loud and chaotic it is.
either vil wanted to make you better or terrorize you for beating the shit out of him in that stadium since he casted you as one of the main leads who suffers a secret love from the misunderstood villian.
which would've been okay (it's not) if malleus wasn't the misunderstood villian! seriously, who made this play script?
it's not that you hate him it's just that there's a lot of romance scenes. and your heart will absolutely not be able to take the cheesy lines and start bursting into rainbows and stuff.
and the fact that you just kind of, liked him.
wait how did vil even get him to join the play...? you're sure he would've gave up after meeting sebek.
this time the scene is running away from the mages who found out that you made contact with the misunderstood and is now chasing you to most probably imprison you.
set in a snowy plain, you don't know where vil gets all the stuff to make it so realistic cause even you're questioning if this is some hologram or actually reality.
and now you're literally being carried by malleus as the icy weather bites back at you. and of course as a natural response you just sneakily snuggle into his arms more, you hope he really just doesn't notice.
the lines you memorized grow a little hazy but you manage. "are they gone?" you peek behind malleus shoulder. how nice was it to marvel at the world from his height? you don't know how, or when but there's a warmth on your fingers that has you realizing how numb it felt from the cold.
malleus rubs your hands with his own. sharing a quarter of his warmth to you and you're not sure if the warmth should have traveled all the way up to your face. then, he answered. "yes, my love." the nickname wasn't probably meant for you, but rather your character but it still sends you to orbit.
he cradles your face—wait is this part of the script? you don't remember.. malleus runs his thumb just below your cheekbone, pressing gently and once again making you find out about a graze you never really felt till he pulled away and showed you the blood.
didn't vil say there wouldn't be any real life action involved?!
you can spot his eyes just getting a tad, bit darker. "I'll lead you to my tower, stay there and do not move. I just have to deal with.. something." he kisses your forehead.
you resist the urge to scratch your chin.
"cut, cut! all the things you both did wasn't in the script at all." vil facepalms but the blonde beside him looks far more happy. rook flashes you a grin. "encore, encore! what touching improvisation. impressive!"
you eye malleus with concern. "where are you going?"
"to deal with something of course."
but.. didn't the practice just end?
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princesssmars · 9 months
Text
another one of my dreams that i have to write out because it flabbergasted me and two of my friends. but this time about hazel from bottoms.
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ok, reader is the new girl at school. in my dream i was kind of a loser (accurate) but because i can write what i want (and i've read @ptolemaeacles cheerleader headcanons ten times) im changing it.
so reader is trying out to be cheerleader! it helps you make a few friends, isabel being the best one because she’s amazing, beautiful, and a little weird in a really endearing way. she finds you interesting, given your natural talent for dancing and how despite doing vulgar dance moves on the football field, off of it you can be a shy and sweet person!
because of this isabel, brittany and you are pretty much always together. and since they're popular and seen everywhere, that means you are seen everywhere!
which means hazel cant take a fucking break.
walking to sit with pj and josie during lunch and means almost having a heart attack when she sees you handing out flyers for the next school event, looking so ethereal in your cheer uniform she nearly trips over herself.
or when every morning she sits two rows over from you in math class, not so sneakily staring at you for minutes at a time while doing her worksheets.
despite being close to a genius, she thinks there's no way in hell you have ever noticed her. never seen the way your eyes will drift to her when she's sitting in the bleachers while, you're practicing, how you're heart will race when the teacher is calling names for project partners with the chance that the brunette could be in your group.
so sure you had a crush that was going nowhere, but you had a nice bunch of new friends, so people we're starting to like you!
all except one.
mrs. fucking barnes.
for whatever reason, your second period english teacher had decided on your first day to make your senior year a living fucking hell.
put a good amount of effort into an essay? you get a d minus!
want to share a comment you had about the book the class is reading? shut up silly, jeff is going to popcorn read and stutter over a basic sentence!
but one friday, you decided to skip class and the next week she went ballistic.
now, since moving to town, you had noticed that the people here were a little odd, regularly seeing a normal interaction or conversation go to the extreme in seconds.
so, when you're hovering over the toilet in the girls bathroom, a small thought in your brain that loves to say what if's asks: what if somebody bursted in here right now?
when you finish and stand up to pull your jeans up, only to be interrupted when the stall doors bust open with a loud bang! you think for split second that god can literally hear your thoughts and is making you pay for whatever sins you've committed.
those sins must have been fucking murder to make up for how mortified you felt standing in a cramped girls bathroom stall, your pants down with three people staring at you/
the first, mrs. barnes, wearing a look thats a mix between anger and regret.
the second is nettie brown, a girl you recognized from your art class who you remember complimented your heels and you did the same for her coat.'
and then, standing in front the sinks with eyes that look as big as fucking saucers, hazel callahan herself.
your brain catches up to your body and you manage to splutter out a string of curses and yells, forcing the door back closed as the teachers splutters out an excuse about someone telling her you had started doing weed in the bathrooms.
you hear her and some more shoes shuffling out of the bathroom, taking a minute to gather your bearings before you leave the bathroom. when you open the door again you rest your hands on the counter, your eyes closed as you take a breath. when you look up to your reflection, in your peripheral you see a figure standing awkwardly at the back of the bathroom, blue eyes avoiding looking at you.
"hazel?" you ask under your breath, turning around to look at her dead on. she flinches to attention like a child called to attention.
"uh...i just wanted to make sure that you were alright, what she did was really fucked up."
"oh," you mouth, grateful that after something so embarrassing this girl who you barely knew was waiting in a crappy bathroom to make sure you were alright. if it was possible your crush on her just grows. "thank you. that means a lot to me."
her face lights up so brightly you think it could light up a city.
"no problem! i mean, really who cares that much about weed, anyway? i've never cared about bush anyway-"
the room gets silent.
as she quickly rushes out an apology and leaves, all you can think about is how its weird you've been shocked like this twice in a span of ten minutes, and that you have got to ask hazel callahan on a date.
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i made this a lot cuter than it was in my dream. i was in the bathroom, looking at these really nice coats on the counter ?? when the door opened, hazel just said "y'know ive never minded bush" and the sheer confusion made wake up.
i put my senior year english teacher in here because. i still hate that bitch.
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meangirls-imagines · 3 months
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Can I have a Janis 'Imi'ike x femme reader imagine where they’re friends and reader finds Janis’ sketchbook which is full of sketches of reader?
Life Imitates Art
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WARNINGS: none, just fluff. janis being a gay mess.
Janis Imi'ike and Y/N Y/L/N have been best friends since they were in diapers.
Their parents were best friends in college and stuck together for years. So it was like they were destined to be together.
Y/N was there for Janis through everything, but they got even closer after the Regina incident. Janis had gone to Y/N's house crying after what happened and the two, along with Damian, spent the rest of that night watching the girl's favorite movies.
Janis fell in love with Y/N that night.
Years and years of denying their feelings brings them to senior year, aka "post-bitchy regina".
Everyone was friends so it was a lot easier to go through their last year together. Instantly, (without Janis and Y/N's knowledge), everyone decided that senior year was going to be "Project Get Y/N and Janis Together".
Regina, Janis, and Y/N all had homeroom together and Regina began texting in the group chat.
(Former) Queen Bitch👑: guys. they are staring at each other. the tension is suffocating.
Detective Gretchen🕵️‍♀️: OMG! That is ADORABLE!
Sexy Maus🐭: thats so qute
Nerd: awwww. guys, maybe we don't need a plan. let's let them work through it.
Beyonce: uh. have you met janis? that girl doesn't know how to act around y/n. we need to intervene. and there's only one way.
(Former) Queen Bitch👑: damian. no. not that.
Nerd: what is going on?
Beyonce: this is classified information. no one can tell janis or y/n this. karen? got it?
Sexy Maus🐭: what?
Detective Gretchen🕵️‍♀️: I got it. Now what is it?
Beyonce: Janis's sketchbook. It's got tons of beautiful drawings of Y/N in it. Regina and I stumbled upon it accidentally a couple of weeks ago.
Detective Gretchen🕵️‍♀️: OMG!!
Nerd: THAT'S SO CUTE!
Beyonce: I think it's time we subtly show Y/N the book.
That weekend, the group all met up at Janis's house for their weekly sleepover. Damian decided to put his plan into motion. Whenever Janis was distracted, he snuck upstairs and put her sketchbook in plain sight, then he snuck back downstairs.
Then he put it into motion.
"Hey, Y/N. I was wondering if I could have some ibuprofen? I have a headache and I know you always have some." The girl smiled and nodded, standing from her place next to Janis and heading upstairs.
Janis watched the girl go and turned back to see everyone smirking at her. "What?" Damian giggled. "Girl, keep it in your pants." Janis blushed. "What are you talking about?" Gretchen squealed. "You totally have a crush on Y/N! It's so cute!"
Janis blushed harder. "I do not have a crush on her! She's my best friend." Karen smiled. "Your best friend that you wanna kiss. Which is really cool because Gretchen is my best friend that I wanna kiss."
Everyone paused and looked at Gretchen, who was blushing harder than Janis. Regina broke the silence. "Okay, we'll come back to this. But Janis, they're right. You and Y/N have feelings for each other and I think it's time that you tell her. It's our senior year. We don't know what the future holds, we just don't want you to regret not telling her."
Janis took the blonde's words to heart and nodded. "Okay, I'll tell her." She got up and with the cheering from her friends, she went upstairs to talk to Y/N.
"Y/N, I need to tell you something."
Janis froze in her tracks. Y/N was looking at her sketchbook. Specifially, a portrait that she drew of Y/N. Janis stuttered over her words. "Y/N, I can explain."
"This is beautiful, Janis. Is this how you see me?" Janis swallowed hard and nodded, walking closer to Y/N.
"It's how I've always seen you." Y/N's breath hitched as Janis continued.
"Y/N. I love you. I've loved you since you comforted me after the incident with Regina. Maybe even longer. And I really wanna be with you. Those pictures I've drawn don't even compare to your actual beauty. Every time I look at you, the rest of the world melts away. And if you give me the chance, I really wanna be with you."
Janis couldn't say anything else because Y/N kissed her.
Y/N was kissing her.
Y/N WAS KISSING HER?
The girl's lips were a lot softer than Janis imagined. It was everything she imagined actually, and more. The two kissed for a minute before cheering made them break away from each other.
They looked to see their friends standing in the hallway, all smiling widely.
Y/N tucked her face into Janis's neck, hiding her blush. Damian spoke. "So?"
Janis smirked back at him. "My girlfriend and I will meet you guys downstairs."
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nordidia · 9 months
Note
May I request some pain, Raph flavored
Pretty pleaseeeee
i hope i dont sound angry writing this, but please dont send/ask me stuff like this! i've gotten a lot of similar asks like this and this is scary for me but i need to set a boundary!
.
i dont like making "angst" or sad things, i dont make non-happy content for the sake of inflicting pain, and i dont like people assuming/thinking i do! i make it for meaningful emotional impact, i dont want people to tell me how much they like that i "put raph through pain" or assume im appealing to people who like doing that .. it makes me very sad!
i dont make "angst" to purely hurt characters, im making fanart of a character with emotional depth, and to explore the character's reaction to serious matters, and to let people know that theyre not alone, and that struggling can look like many things
some of the most motivating things ive been told by people who like my comics is that it's helped them (and their therapist sometimes!) figure out what was up with them, because i write a lot of things such as ptsd and anxiety and general mental pain to look different than the media portrays. because there really is alot of forms mental issues can take, and not all of them get portrayed, which leaves real people wondering "whats wrong with me" when its right there, just different form!
i think the closest i'll get to making it "just because" is vent art, but that too has meaning. and i will specify when its vent art for that very reason. to say "this isnt necessarily me exploring anything, or canonical, its to make myself feel less alone, and hopefully, the people seeing this as well"
and thats why i make the content i do, its not because i enjoy putting characters i like through bad things,,, in fact, i often hesitate/regret posting because i feel bad about the things i create for the sake of this. but i try to look past it because it can genuinely help a lot of people, and it does help myself too.
i think that assuming i make emotional stuff just for the sake of pain takes away from that.. i try very hard to not over-do sad stuff and i often cut down on it because i dont want to overwhelm people with it, and to prove that i only do the necessities for the sake of healing from the things i put emphasis on
any of the pain i "put them through" is my take on what they've canonically been through, and exploring their reaction and way to deal with the aftermath of that. nothing more,,, nothing less.
ugly things are still worth talking about, especially for the sake of healing growth
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this got alot i hope i made sense uhh yeah!! yeah.,, apolocheese!!
TL;DR: i personally make pain for the necessity of healing, not because i think its fun
and now back to our regularly scheduled program
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