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hoodharlow · 1 year

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In Tune With You

AN: idk, I was rereading Jack and Miriam and got in the mood to write some 2021!Jack and Miriam hanging out in Louisville

Requested? Kinda, I sent @nattinatalia and @heavyhitterheaux some tiktoks and one of them had Jack and Miriam vibes lol

Warnings: Jack being a terrible flirt and sm*t

Word Count: 4.7k words

“Mom, you’re joking.” Jack laughed.

“Am I laughing?” Maggie said sternly.

“No.” he mumbled.

“Then obviously, I’m not joking. Miriam is a guest, and you will be respectful of that and sleep in your own bed.”

Miriam and Daisy were flying in from Atlanta and staying over for the Fourth of July weekend with Jack and his family. Jack invited her over since she wasn't visiting her family; Joseph was in Sydney filming, Miriam’s parents and grandparents were in Mexico for vacation and Katalina was in Europe for Men's Fashion Month. She didn't agree at first because she didn't want to take up space but Jack reassured her that it was okay for her to visit. He even facetimed Maggie to get her stamp of approval. So she agreed since she essentially had a week off from filming and didn't want to spend those few days alone in her brother's house.

Jack flew in from Vegas the night before and spent the whole morning helping his mom deep clean their house. He prepared his room for her, but his mom had other plans and fixed up the guest room, much to his dismay. He also bought some of her favorite foods and ordered Daisy's expensive dog food.

"Wasn't Miriam landing at eleven?" Clay asked.

"Yeah why?" Jack said.

"It's 11:07." His brother nodded at the digital clock on the stove.

"Fuck!"

Jack grabbed his keys and ran out of the house. He pulled out his house and saw a few messages from Miriam, letting him know she landed. He called her and propped up his phone so he could talk to her through the speaker.

"Hey." She answered after three rings.

"I'm so sorry. I was helping my mom set up your room and lost track of time. I'm ten minutes away." He said, changing lanes to get on the freeway.

"It's okay, I'm in one of the gift shops looking for some bowls for Daisy. I forgot to pack her bowls." She said.

"I'll call you again when I'm pulling up." He said.

"Okay, bye."

"Bye."

He hung up and sighed. Thankfully there wasn't that much traffic and he was able to arrive at the airport at the time he told her. He pulled up his hoodie and put on his Prada sunglasses. He got out and called her. He spotted her by one of the bushes outside near the loading lane. Daisy was the first to notice him. She tugged Miriam, almost knocking her down.

"Oh my god, Daisy, chill." Miriam mumbled.

Jack bent down and hugged Daisy. He scratched behind her ears how she liked then stood up. He pulled in Miriam for a hug. They stared at each other for a few seconds, but then pulled away. Jack looked behind her and only saw two small carry-ons and Daisy's crate on the baggage cart. She had on her backpack and her bag.

"That's all you have?" He asked, taking the cart so she wouldn't have to.

"Yeah, I mostly packed shorts and my undergarments. I planned on stealing some of your clothes too." Miriam shrugged, texting her parents to let them know she landed.

"What are you taking to the lakehouse?" He carefully placed her things in the trunk. He went to return the cart in one of the return sections.

"What do you mean?" She crossed her arms.

"Every year me and a few of my close friends rent out a lake house and spend the Fourth of July there." He said, holding the door open for her.

"And you're telling me this now?" Miriam frowned.

"I figured you'd over pack like you always do."

"I pack accordingly and when I 'overpack' it's so I have options for events and places I have to be at." She clarified. "You told me we were chilling at your parents' house and that's what I packed for. Not once did you mention the lake house or that we're staying with your friends."

"Let's go home and figure something out there." Jack mumbled.

Miriam suddenly felt overwhelmed. She didn't mind the lakehouse or that she was meeting Jack's friends. What annoyed her was that he never mentioned that those were their plans. She hated feeling unprepared for things.

They arrived at Jack's house. Miriam collected herself and plastered on a smile. Clay opened the door for her and hugged her, before helping Jack with her luggage. She went to great Jack's parents with Daisy. Their family dog came out and tentatively sniffed Daisy. The two dogs instantly became friends and chased each other in the front yard.

"Lunch is ready if you're hungry." Maggie told Miriam.

"Is it okay if I freshen up first?" She asked her.

"Of course, let me show you your room."

Miriam and Daisy followed her upstairs to a room next to a bathroom.

"Here's your room. The bathroom is the room over. Jack's room is across the hall and Clay's is next to his. Mine and Brian's room is downstairs. If you need anything don't hesitate and let me know. Okay?"

"Everything's good. Thank you." Miriam smiled.

"I'll leave you to it then." Maggie excused herself.

Miriam was about to close the door when Jack appeared in the doorway with her luggage.

"Can I come in?" He asked her.

"Yeah." She nodded.

He placed her carry-ons on the foot of the bed and sat on the edge of the bed. He wiped sweat off his hands. "I'm sorry for not telling you about the group hangout. It's a tradition with the gang and I wanted to include you because you mean a lot to me. You have every right to be upset with me and–"

"I'm not upset with you…well I was, but not anymore." Miriam cut him off. "I was mostly upset because I packed ugly clothes. Like I'm gonna look like Adam Sandler and Gustavo from Big Time Rush had a love child."

"That I can fix. I have a friend who works at a clothing store. If you want we can stop by after lunch." He said.

"I was gonna ask if there was Target but that works too. Thank you." She hugged his head. Since Jack was sitting, he hugged her thighs.

"It's the least I can do…I am sorry." He rested his head on her tummy.

"You should be. I, Miriam Dominguez-Miller, can't be out here looking like shit."

Miriam wasn't joking when she said she was going to look like Gustavo and Adam Sandler. After lunch she showered and changed into a cropped white beater and oversized green shorts . Thankfully they were enroute to the shop Jack's friend worked at.

Jack pulled to a parking spot and jogged over to Miriam's side to open her door.

They walked toward the store. Miriam was amazed at how people didn't give Jack a second glance. In LA and Atlanta someone always did a double take when he walked by them. Some had the decency to keep going about their day but others stopped and asked for pictures. She knew one of his pet peeves was people shoving their cameras in his face, so seeing him be normal was nice for a change.

Just as Jack stepped in front of her to open the door, a girl with braids locked the door and flipped the sign from open to closed.

"Diana, open the door." He tugged at the door handle. "I'm going to leave a bad yelp review and your mom is gonna get pissed."

"You're not fun." She said, unlocking the door. She smiled brightly at Miriam. "Hi, you must be the infamous Miriam. You know he never stops talking about you."

Miriam turned to Jack and gently nudged him with her shoulder. "You talk about me?"

Jack felt his cheeks warm up. He scratched the back of his neck and laughed it off. “We should hurry because my mom asked me to pick up dinner later.”

“Don’t rush me. It takes me a long time to look this good.” Miriam sassed him.

“If you say so, Adam Sandler.”

It took her a second to remember she looked like shit, but before she could react Jack was already on the other end of the store sitting on a bench with his friend. She went to one of the racks and began looking through the clothes. Before she knew it three hours had gone by and went through the store. She was only going to get a few swimsuits and some tops, but then she started making outfits in her head with every other item she saw. Her number one rule in shopping was if she could make three outfits for three distinct events then she would buy it. Jack met up with her while she waited in line to pay.

‘Bidi Bidi Bom Bom’ by Selena Quintanilla began to play through the speakers. Instantly Miriam bega singing to herself, but a few other people around heard her. When the song ended a few people clapped, making her feel shy.

“Did you know you could sing like her?” Jack asked her.

“I’ve been told I can imitate her, but I won’t say it myself because I don’t want her die hard fans to come for my ass.” she said. When she did the Elle Song Association video, a few viewers pointed it out but others were quick to shut it down.

“If they make a biopic of her you should audition,” he commented.

“They already made one.” She said,

“They did? When?” he asked incredulously.

“Are you kidding? JLo plays Selena. It’s what put her on the map.”

“Wow, I feel out of the loop.”

“We can watch it later. It’s on HBOMAX, but prepare to cry.”

“I don’t cry in movies, Miriam.”

Jack sat up abruptly, pointing at the tv. “She didn’t catch the rose.” A few seconds later the news reporter in the movie said that Selena was shot. “She was shot!?”

“Jack be quiet.” Maggie sniffled.

The whole house was quiet as the movie continued. Maggie, Clay, and Miriam were full on sobbing by the end.

"The ending always gets me." Maggie said, wiping her tears. "She was gone too soon."

"She was." Miriam agreed. She looked over to Jack, noticing him wipe his tears. "Are you crying?"

"Psh, no." He said, clearing his throat. "I ate some of your spicy twisty chips and the spice got to me."

"I haven't opened the bag." She said, shaking the bag to show it wasn't opened.

"I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried." Clay said, kissing ass.

"We're going to bed." Brian announced.

"Don't stay up too late. If you want to avoid traffic tomorrow, y'all are gonna have to leave early." Maggie said.

"Goodnight." Miriam bid them.

"Night darlin'." Jack's mom said.

"I think I'm going to bed too." Clay yawned.

"Goodnight Clay." Miriam said.

"If they're going to bed, maybe we should watch Spider-Man in my room?" Jack suggested.

"Wait, which one are y'all watching?" His younger brother asked, ignoring Jack's gestures to get out of room.

"The animated one with Miles Morales." Miriam answered.

"Can I join you? I haven't seen it in ages." Clay said, wedging himself in between Jack and Miriam, earning a glare from his older brother.

"Yeah, but I'm gonna take Daisy out real quick, don't start it without me." She said before whistling to Daisy to follow her out to the back yard.

Jack smacked Clay.

"What the fuck, dude." Clay shoved him back.

"Go to bed!" He whisper-yelled.

"No! I want to watch Spider-Man." He whispered back.

"I was this close to having Miriam join me in my room."

"Oh I'm telling my mom you were gonna undermine her." Clay got up.

"How much for you to keep your mouth shut and go to bed?" Jack asked, pulling up venmo.

"Let me watch Spider-Man."

"Yeah, no."

"MO-"

Jack clapped his hand over Clay's mouth. "Fine but you're sitting over there."

Clay rolled his eyes and sat on the other couch. Miriam and Daisy came back inside but they went upstairs. Minutes later Miriam came back alone dressed in a cropped white beater and silk pajama pants.

"Sorry, Daisy is very particular about her sleep." She said, cuddling up on Jack.

"Don't worry about it." He said, rubbing her arm.

The movie played. Within the first ten minutes Clay curled up on the couch and fell asleep. His light snores filled the living room. Jack glared at him. He knew Clay wasn't going to make it through the movie and that he cockblocked him on purpose.

"Should we wake him and send him to his room?" Miriam said.

"That's what he gets for wanting to stay up later than he's used to." He said.

Jack and Miriam were at the part where Gwen had to get her head shaved because Miles got his hand stuck on it when Jack shifted in his seat and placed his arm over Miriam's shoulder. His hand dangerously close to her breast. A few seconds passed and Jack moved his arm to the back of the couch, much to Miriam's dismay.

"I'm gonna get some water." She said, getting up.

She tripped over her slippers but Jack caught her by the hips before she fell over. She held onto his shoulders. Without thinking twice he pulled her to his lap. He grabbed the back of her neck, bringing her into a kiss. Miriam deepened the kiss and grabbed his free hand, slipping it under her top. Jack squeezed her breast, tugging her nipples how she liked. He groaned in her mouth as she slowly rocked her hips against the tent in his shorts.

Clay snorted in sleep, startling awake. Jack and Miriam pulled away from each other. "What did I miss?" He asked groggily.

"Not much, uh, I'm gonna go to bed." Miriam said, evidently flustered. She pushed her hair back and gave Jack a small smile.

Jack gave the same smile back. He didn't tear his eyes from her ass jiggle as she jogged upstairs. A throw pillow hit him in the face. He was ready to fight his younger brother.

Clay simply shook his head and reminded him that, "Mom said keep it in your pants."

***

Jack was going to murder whoever brought the karaoke machine. Nobody wanted to use it the first days the group was there, but something shifted and they all wanted to perform. Everyone took a turn. Miriam was the last to go, but she was three songs in. And it didn't help that the girls were encouraging her and asking for encores. Though that comforted Jack because his girl friends were very closed off and didn't make any additions to their group. To see them welcome Miriam with open arms meant a lot to him.

"Miriam put the karaoke mic down." Jack said through his teeth, getting on the makeshift stage, which was just the small platform in front of the fireplace, to get Miriam down.

Obviously she didn't listen. She continued her rendition of Glamorous by the iconic Fergie. "So if you ain't got no money, take yo' broke ass home. G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S, yeah, G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S. We're flying first class up–"

Miriam didn't calculate how much room she needed and slipped. Luckily Jack had been hovering and caught her. He couldn't risk her getting more injuries. The first day she slipped on the dock and bruised her knee.

"Mic." He said, holding his hand out. Miriam rolled her eyes and passed it to him. He set it down on the binder with the catalog of songs.

"Boo!" Aleena yelled, throwing popcorn at Jack.

Mallory, Diana, and Priscilla followed suit and threw popcorn at him. They chanted Miriam's name, but Jack just glared at them to stop.

"I'm tired." Miriam mumbled, nuzzling her head in his chest.

"I bet you are. Did you even have breakfast?" He asked.

Miriam woke up late and didn't eat with the group but she swore she was going to eat something. Though now that Jack thought about it, she didn't pinky promise him. She just nodded and double fisted two mimosas.

"I had some of the mimosas Mallory and Priscilla made." She said resting her chin on his chest to look up at him.

"So the only thing in your stomach is champagne and three drops of juice.” he sighed. It was well past noon and she should eat something.

"No silly, I also had some palomas." she giggled.

Jack rolled his eyes at her comment. He steered her to the kitchen and sat her on one of the chairs. He didn’t trust her sitting high up on a stool. He grabbed a bag of the frozen yakisoba and popped it in the microwave. After three minutes, the noodles were ready. He poured the contents on a bowl and cut a lime in half. He placed the food in front of Miriam and sat next to her.

Miriam wiggled her fingers toward the bottle of sriracha that was out of her reach. Jack handed it to her and squeezed the generous amount onto her noodles. She began eating, quietly singing ‘Heavy Hitter’ to herself. Once she was done eating, Jack washed her dishes and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

They finally made their way upstairs to their room. Miriam went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She untied her Doc Martens and settled in the large bed. She huffed. The room was really hot and she could only sleep if the room was as cold as Antarctica. Luckily there was a ceiling fan. She tried to stand up, but she lost her balance. Fortunately for her, Jack was there and caught her.

"Bro, what the hell are you doing?" He said, setting her down on the bed.

"I'm hot." She whined.

Whenever Miriam has a few drinks in her system. She either got whiny and cried when things didn't go her way. Or she'd get horny and want to dry hump Jack. The latter usually ended with her getting whiny and crying because didn't get her way. Jack didn't want to deal with either version of her so he catered to her every need.

"That's easy to fix." He reached for the pull switch on the ceiling fan and pulled it twice. "Is that good?"

Miriam nodded. She grabbed the blanket bought at Target the other day and covered herself. Jack set a timer on her phone and put it to charge. He was about to exit the room when Miriam sat up.

"Wait, where are you going?" She asked.

"I'm gonna leave you to rest." He said.

"Can you stay with me? But really stay, not stay until I fall asleep." She pleaded quietly.

"Fine." He gave in.

He kicked off his shoes and got under the blanket with her. Miriam wedged leg in between Jack's legs and hugged his stomach. She rested her head on his chest. Jack began to play with her hair until they dozed off. Not even five minutes Miriam woke up annoyed.

"Miriam, I fucking swear if you're sneaking out…" Jack grumbled.

She didn't answer. She sat up and undid her bikini top. It was digging into her sides and annoying her. The whole time they'd been at the lake house Miriam only wore bikini tops, except when she went to bed, she wore one of Jack's t-shirts. While she was at it, she took off the denim short shorts she wore, only staying in her bikini bottoms. She settled back in the same position she was in.

Jack rubbed her back, but pulled himself away when he felt her bare skin against his fingertips.

"Bro why are you naked?" He asked in a panicked tone.

"I'm not naked, I still have my bottoms." Miriam clarified.

"Let me get you a shirt." Jack said.

"No, I wanna sleep like this." She pouted. "Come back to sleep."

"I'm not sleeping with you when you're topless." He argued.

"It's not like you haven't seen my chichis before."

"That's besides the point. Miriam, you're drunk."

She teared up. "Why won't you sleep with me? I just wanna sleep."

"Will you put on a shirt?" He asked her in a stern tone.

"Yeah." She sniffled, wiping her tears.

Jack grabbed one of his shirts and tossed it to her. She put it on and moved so Jack could settle back where he was. Miriam laid back on him. She reached for his hand and intertwined it with hers before finally dozing off.

Later in the evening Jack and Miriam rejoined the group in their dock. They had several chairs and blankets set up so they could watch the fireworks. They brought out a few coolers filled with drinks and snacks. They also had some of the leftover pizza from dinner. It was now nighttime.

Miriam pulled out her phone to check the time. She bought some medicine for Daisy to take so the fireworks wouldn’t scare her. But she had to time it so the pill could take effect when the fireworks went off. She saw the time and it was the window she had to give Daisy the medicine. She got up from the blankets and dusted herself off. Daisy was in one of the lawn chairs cuddled up with Jack.

“Hey I have to take her so she can take her m-e-d-i-c-i-n-e.” she told Jack.

“I’ll go with you.” he said, getting up effortlessly with Daisy still in his arms.

Miriam grabbed a slice of pizza from the table and followed Jack back to the house. She rushed to their room and grabbed Daisy’s medicine. She also bought her a snood to cover Daisy’s ears for extra precaution. She reached the kitchen and took out a pill while Jack distracted Daisy with her rope toy. Miriam tucked the pill in the pizza crust. She tossed it to Daisy who caught it without thinking. Before she realized that ingested medicine, Miriam tossed her a few pieces of pizza.

“Did you give her the medicine?” Jack asked.

“Yeah, I’m going to stay for a bit and make sure it does take effect.” she said, rubbing Daisy’s belly.

“I’ll stay with y’all.”

“No, go back with your friends. We’ll be fine.” she reassured him.

“I’ll stay that way so you won’t walk over alone.”

“Bro–”

“I’m staying and that’s final.”

Miriam rolled her eyes and picked up Daisy, but Jack took her from her arms and carried her upstairs with her trailing behind them. Jack set Daisy down on her bed. She reached for her octopus stuffed animal that Jack gave her after their first meeting and cuddled with it.

Jack didn’t plan for it to get too cold in the evening. He wore a button up short sleeve with matching shorts. He decided to change into a tracksuit. But he was struggling with the buttons on his shirt.

“What are you doing?” Miriam asked, getting up from the floor.

“These fucking buttons.” he mumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Aver.” she stood in between his legs.

She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his shoulders. Letting her body take the reins, she straddled Jack’s lap. She cupped his face and pulled him in for a deep kiss. One of Jack’s hands held onto the back of her head whilst the other wrapped around her waist.

“We can’t have sex.” was the first thing that came out of Jack’s mouth.

“Oh.” Miriam got out of his lap embarrassed. “I’m so sorry. I assumed and–”

“I meant here. We can’t have sex here.” he explained. “I don’t want our first time to be quickie before we head out to see the fireworks with your dog snoring next to us.”

“But can we still get frisky? Because I swear if you don’t play with my nipples or my pu–”

“You’re so demanding you know that?” He cut her off, helping Miriam out of her dress, leaving her in her green plaid bikini, and dropped to his knees.

“Wait, can you take a picture of me?” she asked. “I forgot to get a picture of me in this one.”

“Fine,” he said enthusiastically.

Miriam grabbed her phone from the night stand and handed it to him. She leaned against the small vanity. Jack took a few pictures of her then handed her her phone back. She looked through them. They weren’t the best quality, but she still appreciated the effort.

“Okay, I’m ready,” she said, jumping onto the bed.

Jack didn’t waste any time. He was on her like his life depended on her. Without pulling away from their kiss, he undid the straps of her bikini, tossing it on the ground. He pulled away from her lips and kissed down to her chest. He tweaked one of her nipples while he nipped and sucked her other breast. Satisfied with the love bites on her chest, he captured her lips once more.

After another heated make out session, Jack finally kissed his way down to Miriam’s thighs. He laid on his, pressing one of her legs down to keep her in place. He rubbed her clit, making her a whimpering mess.

“Jack, I fucking–fuck!” she moaned out as Jack dove in between her thighs.

He wiggled his tongue at her entrance. He moaned out at her taste as continued to eat her out. Minutes passed when he finally slid his middle and ring finger in her. She gasped at his touch. Her hands tangled in his hair pulling it for relief.

“Fuck!” She moaned out. He sped up his fingers then he slipped them out of her and rubbed her clit, quickly bringing her to her climax. She repeated his name over and over as she came.

After Jack cleaned up her release, he kissed up her stomach and gave her a peck on the lips before laying next to her. Miriam rolled to her side and lazily made out with Jack. While still making out with him, she undid his shorts and slipped her hand inside his boxers. She pulled out his cock. She slipped her hands in between her thighs and rubbed her hand on some of her arousal to use as some sort of lube while she jacked Jack off.

He was putty in her hand. Whining and grunting her mouth while she slowly continued to stroke his length. She ran her thumb over his tip then squeezed it as some of his pre-cum leaked onto her hand.

“Want me to finish you off in my mouth?” Miriam asked softly.

“Yes, please.” Jack groaned.

“Miralo, todo polite and shit.” she giggled as she situated herself in between his legs.

She spit on his length and slowly jerked him off with both hands. Then Miriam slipped him as far as she could take him. He let out an incoherent sound until she reached the back of her throat. She did it a few more times, egging him on. She pulled away, with a trail of saliva spilling from the corner of her mouth, and kissed down his length. Jack reached for one of her hands and placed on his knee, lovingly squeezing her hand. Miriam slowly bobbed her head up and down his length, getting her mouth used to him. She took him a little deeper each time.

One of his hands gripped the back of her head, keeping her in place as he thrusted into her mouth. Miriam let out soft moans. Her hands gripped his legs, nails digging into his thighs. She continued to stroke him as he came, taking all of his release.

Jack sat up and brushed her curls away from her face. He pulled her in for a kiss as a firework went off, startling them both.

“That’s our cue to go back.” Jack sighed.

“Or we can stay…” Miriam smiled innocently.

“Bro, I’m not fucking you.” he said, kissing her temple.

“You’re no fun.” she pouted.

“I promise you. It’ll be worth it. When I finally have you all to myself, I’m gonna take my time with you and make you mine.”

Miriam frowned. “Jack, you can’t tell me that and expect me not to get horny.”

•••

Jack via Instagram Stories on July 4th

@'mdm: indie day weekend

@'jackharlow: you're welcome for the last picture

-> @'mdm: it's blurry but tyyyy amiguchis 😌

-> @'jharlowfan: not amiguchis, he's hella friendzoned 😭

@'zendaya: 💚💚💚

@'cozane: 🎆

@'yungskylar: fucking G

@'die_ana: gorjussss

@'aleeeena: 💍

@'jackfan: why are Jack Harlow's friends commenting on her post 🧐

-> @'mdmxjh: she met them? maybe I'm reaching but the fireworks picture looks like one Jack posted on his ig story on the 4th of July and she posted that drink that's known in Kentucky? Maybe she was there too?

->@'mutual: well he commented that he took the last picture 😳

->@'mackshipper: the dress in the 4th slide looks like the one from a video one of Jack's friends posted from the lakehouse

->@'jackfan: what video?

->@'jhupdates: out of respect of Jack's friends and their privacy, I won't post it, but there's a video from a few days ago and Jack is hugging a girl wearing a dress like the one Miriam posted

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Taglist: @cherryxcreme @heavyhitterheaux @carma-fanficaddict @youngharleezy @youngharleezyxo @babyharleezy @that-90s-girllll @alinaharlow @harlowcomehome @nattinatalia @webinurcloset @gassyandsassy1 @jackharloww @awhore4moree @noescapricho-essentimiento @a-moment-captured @neon-lights-and-glitter @purecinnamonextract @cherry4everrr

#jack and miriam #jack harlow #jack harlow smut #jack harlow insta au #jack harlow instagram au

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crazyplantkid · 6 months

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Rereading all for the game except it’s Quotes Time

I’ll add them as i go

it’s about second chances, Neil. Second, third, fourth, whatever, as long as you get at least one more than what anyone else wanted to give you. -Wymack, TFC, pg. 13

Hope was a dangerous, disquieting thing, but he thought, perhaps he liked it. -Neil, TFC, pg. 154

“are you stupid?” Seth asked. “Yeah,” Neil said. -TFC, pg. 156

“maybe you’re not as stupid as i thought.” “maybe i am” -Seth and Neil, TFC, pg. 165

“this is my reassured face,” Neil said, pointing up at his blank expression. -TFC, pg. 186

“Kevin, the man is dead. Like, permanently.” “not a major loss.” -Nicky and Kevin -TFC, pg. 248

“one day i want you to look up ‘insensitivity’ in the dictionary,” Matt said annoyed, “I’m sure it’ll do your ego wonders to see you picture printed beside it.” -Matt, TRK, pg.8

As he listened to them, Neil realised he was happy. it was such an unexpected and unfamiliar feeling he lost track of the conversation for a minute. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt included or safe. -TRK, pg. 66

“It’ll be easier if he remains heterosexual.” -Kevin, TRK, pg. 69

(i’ll be real, i got to enraptured to take down any quotes but i finished the Raven King,, sorry)

“The next time someone comes for you, stand down and let me deal with it. Do you understand?” “If it means losing you then no,” -Andrew and Neil, TKM, pg. 21

“You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs.” “I’m not a hallucination,” Neil said, nonplussed. “You are a pipe dream,” -Andrew and Neil, TKM, pg.21

“I’m sorry, Neil. We should have been there for you” “I wouldn’t have let you be.” -Abby and Neil, TKM, pg.28

“You hate me, remember?” “Every inch of you,” Andrew said. “That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t blow you.” -Neil and Andrew, TKM, pg. 61

(guys i’m sorry, i got distracted again, you get it)

He dreamed of facing his father on an Exy court, and his dream the foxes won -TKM, pg. 290

(i finished the series again :( only took me three days :( i miss it already)

#the foxhole court #the raven king #the kings men #all for the game #nora sakavic #andrew minyard #neil josten #kevin day #coach wymack #matt boyd #dan wilds #renee walker #allison reynolds #aaron minyard #nicky hemmick

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princess-of-thebes-1995 · 9 months

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My Sweet Nymph Chapter 1

Yandere Gellert Grindelwald x Female Muggle Reader

I miss writing lowly desires! Too bad it ended. Another Yandere version of you and him. I will write more random scenes of Lowly desire. But, this is a new story and new beginning. Tell me what you think.

This was the fourth bouquet of flowers the past four days! Your brows knitted together in confusion. Your first week of moving into your College Dorm became more stressful.

You were smart in your own way. But, you had ADHD and you committed yourself to study more than your fellow classmates to pass all your classes with B and hopefully higher. But, you realized that after you graduated from High School and during Summer Vacation before college, you have a damn secret admirer!

Why now of all times? In High School, all the boys ignored you. No one asked you for dates. You went to prom, homecoming and all dancing events with girlfriends that took turns dancing with you except the slow dances.

How ironic!

Huffing you tried to concentrate on your homework. You were talented in English and Arts. You were terrible at math and science. You liked astronomy, biology and all that. But Chemistry you hated.

They were not fun classes to learn.

So, as you reread your textbook you heard a knock on your dorm door. Groaning in annoyance, you opened it to see a box. Inside was cash!

Holy crap! You closed the door and counted it. 2,000 dollars in twenty dollar bills. You can be able to afford three square meals at the cafeteria for the whole semester!

Unlike throwing away the other presents from the mystery admirer, you decided to keep this gift. It is useful.

What you didn't know was that you were being watched by a magical crystal ball. Your admirer smiled as you went inside the shower. You were such a doll. So beautiful. He was a man who was in Prison in Azkaban and was released three years ago.

He saw your selfie on Instagram and followed you. He was surprised you were not a model. You could've been easily rich and famous. What a waste of talent. You were instead a poor and struggling college student with a dead father.

His heart went out for you as he saw your impoverished home. You were sadly a Muggle. And he was a pure blooded Wizard. He cannot be seen with you. He wants to start an uprising. He hated Humans and was racist.

He wanted to commit genocide.

Humans poisoned the Wizarding World. They are devils. And you are one of them…

You were just a Nymph. Nothing more to him. A pretty face. Grindelwald was a womanizer in his younger days. He slept with muggle women before. He thought you were one of them. Maybe if he took a bite out of you, he would get you out of his head and move on with his life.

In the meantime, he will watch you from time to time when he has time to spare apart from his actions of taking over the both worlds.

#fantastic beasts secrets of dumbledore #gellert grindelwald #fantastic beasts 3 #mads mikkelsen #gellert grindelwald x reader #yandere gellert grindelwald x reader #mads mikkelsen x reader #mads mikkelsen imagine #harry potter #fantastic beasts

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accio-writersblock · 4 months

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Remus Lupin headcanons that you can pry out of my cold dead hands

Remus loves music but he can’t sing for the life of him

This does not stop him from trying

He had the fattest crush on Sirius starting in third year but he didn’t say a word

No one realized until fifth year, and they were all sworn into silence

Remus experimented with punk in sixth year and that’s where Sirius got his iconic look

When Sirius ran away from home, James let Remus know immediately

Remus fell through the floo in a state of panic

He refused to leave Sirius’ side for three days, which is how long it took for Sirius to recover enough to tell Remus to fuck off

Remus was heartbroken after The Prank, more sad than angry through the summer and Sirius running away was the last nudge he needed to forgive him

Seeing Sirius pale and injured and so so scared broke any anger that was left

Remus was absolutely amazing at Charms

Despite his passion for DADA, he always got the best marks in Charms

Remus was obsessed with The Sandman comics when they came out

He injured his hip during a moon in fourth year and used a cane from then on (when Sirius could convince him to)

Remus fostered werewolf children while Sirius was in Azkaban

Welsh Remus !! (He once asked Sirius what his favorite color was, and upon hearing that it was red started giggling and only stopped to wheeze out “you love coch!” [the ch is pronounced like English ck])

Remus feathered his hair when it was a popular hairstyle

He hated wizarding robes and opted to wear corduroy trousers with his cozy sweaters

He kept an annotated copy of The Picture of Dorian Gray on his person at all times (and used a different color pen for each reread)

He studied with Regulus in the library even after Regulus stopped following Sirius around the castle

He liked to crochet accessories for the marauders’ animagus forms

He never glamoured his scars away because in second year, while riddled with sleep deprivation, Sirius told him that his scars were so so beautiful

Remus always asked for fun socks as Christmas presents

He kept every pair

He taught Sirius a nightlight spell in his first year after he found out that Sirius had nightmares when he was in a dark room

He knew the spell because his father used it every full moon when he snuck into the basement in between the transformation back and Remus’ return to the waking world

When he asked Lyall about it his father denied doing it but did direct him to a spell book

Hope Lupin taught him everything he knew about cooking

He learned sign language to talk to a younger Deaf student at Hogwarts who he found crying in one of his hiding spots

He gifted Lily and James a cat when they went into hiding so that they would have more company (and because Sirius hated cats)

He regularly checked up on Harry (in secret) while he was still living with the Dursleys

Sirius had to keep him from murdering the whole family

He was inconsolable when he came back from a remote Order mission to the news that three of his best friends were murdered by the love of his life

If anyone had been around during his grieving they would have heard his sobs for Regulus, James, Lily, Peter, and the Sirius that he knew and loved

He knew that his Sirius would never do that to James

#marauders era #wolfstar #remus lupin headcanon #remus x sirius #he’s also autistic bc so am I #I’m so sorry about the last couple bullet points #this is a lie #anyways the cat was Crookshanks #Hagrid saw a cat in the ruins and took it along with Harry

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bayofwolves · 11 days

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Rereading Wild Born

Decided to continue doing these! I made a post for Hunted first, but now it's time to go back and recap my reread of Wild Born from a few weeks ago. These won't be full analyses, rather just details that I find interesting or missed when I was younger. I'm rereading the whole series to gather information for my rewrite and fourth arc, so you may see some commentary on how I plan to change certain plot points.

Let's get into it!

If you've ever wondered what the tasseled thing on Abeke's waist in all her book cover appearances is, I'm quite sure it's a sort of a bag that she can store small items in.

The inside cover graphic depicts an arrow going through Uraza's body. I think that's a really neat touch, especially considering things that happen Later On.

Abeke drinks the Nectar of Ninani on her eleventh nameday, not birthday as Conor does. Do Niloans celebrate the day their parents named them, instead of the day on which they were born? Very interesting.

Abeke's Rain Dancer abilities are never explored. A real shame, especially since Uraza is the only member of the Fallen to not have a special power (Briggan has prophecy, Jhi has healing, Essix has uncanny insight). Uraza having weather-related powers would tie in nicely with Abeke's Rain Dancer role.

Zerif is wearing Euran clothing when he meets Abeke and her family, meaning that he was probably searching for Conor and Briggan in Eura prior to this. Obviously, he was unsuccessful.

Interestingly, Zerif knows Abeke's name without being told. We can gather from this that Yumaris's prophecy revealed the names of the four summoners. If true, this gives the Conquerors a stark advantage over the Greencloaks in the race to claim them. From their behaviour in the previous chapter, it appears Tarik and Isilla knew Briggan would be summoned that day, but did not know which of the three children would call him. (However, this is contradicted in a later chapter, when Tarik reveals they know Abeke's name thanks to Lenori.)

Meilin's mother, who died in childbirth, had a spirit animal who we know nothing about. Are they still alive? How did they handle the death of their human companion? Did Meilin ever interact with them at all? You'd think this would be an important thing to expand upon. The lack of information about Meilin's mom in general is criminal. (Same goes for Abeke's mother and Conor's entire family.)

Rollan is a full year older than the other three protagonists. His coming birthday, which would have occurred during this book, goes unmentioned, though.

Abeke claims Shane is 12, but he is said to have just turned 13 in The Book of Shane: Venom. Either the authors made a mistake, or Shane lied about his age for unknown reasons. In my rewrite, I stick with the two year age gap that Venom gives them.

I'm not sure if it was intended this way, but the fact that the pretend assassin goes for Shane in particular could be a hint at his true identity. There's another one of these instances in a later chapter: when Shane and Abeke walk up to a pair of guards, they bow to Shane before letting them through.

Tarik is described as "grim" and "the sort of stranger Rollan would have avoided on the streets of Concorba". For some reason I've always remembered him looking kind and open, rather than intimidating. But I like this better.

Whale-towed ships are unique to Erdas. So are the rockback whales themselves -- our first (of a few) species that only exists on Erdas! There's another one that's introduced in this book, Lenori's rainbow ibis.

Zerif speaks as if he hails from Stetriol -- a lie, since Shane places him as a foreigner when he first meets him. I quite like how mysterious he is. Any background he gives for himself is either untrue or too vague to decipher.

If Zerif and General Gar are to be believed, the early Greencloaks carried out a genocide in Stetriol after the First Devourer War. "Women, children -- the Greencloaks tried to wipe out all life on Stetriol, as if the common people were responsible for what the Devourer had done... The Greencloaks were ashamed of their actions and tried to hide the fact that Stetriol ever existed... They removed it from the histories and maps. But not all the people in Stetriol perished." Why isn't this talked about, like ever??!

Drina is actually mentioned in this book by Zerif! Abeke forgets about her, though, because in Rise and Fall she's surprised to learn that Shane has a sister. An opinion I alone hold is that Drina should have been involved in the series prior to Rise and Fall. It would have been the perfect opportunity for her to come along with Gar and Yumaris to recruit Abeke. (Spoilers: this happens in my rewrite.)

Meilin's classism and racism jumps out on practically every page. She constantly judges Rollan, Conor and later Abeke based on their lower social standings and calls the far west of Amaya (dominated by native tribes) "uncivilized". I will say, her character growth as the series progresses is astounding.

Long ago, the Four Fallen and the Devourer were prophesied to return. "The Devourer has returned. As promised," Tarik says to Barlow and Monte. I would like to know more about this prophecy. Who gave it? Tellun, maybe? Or did Feliandor himself, moments before his death, tell his enemies he'd be back someday?

Abeke doesn't know the names of all the Conquerors she went with to find Arax's talisman, which I feel is unrealistic. Abeke would care about that sort of thing, and it's not even a big group. But more than this, I wish this author worked to flesh the Conquerors out more, to humanize them, to have Abeke see them as friends past just Shane. It would have made her decision to switch sides hold more weight.

Shane breaks his leg in the final battle, thanks to Rollan. I bet he loves to tell that tale. Maybe that's why Shane doesn't show up in Hunted -- he was bedridden for a few months! /s

Plot hole: Barlow is buried in Tarik's cloak, but that same cloak (which is described as tattered and worn, presumably from years of use) passes to Rollan in Rise and Fall.

You can take or renew your vows at any Greencloak stronghold, apparently. I used to think that could only be done at Greenhaven.

Gerathon's prison is just a massive mound of earth. For some reason, as a child I pictured her being imprisoned in a giant cage deep in some creepy underground system of passages, like a sewer.

We never find out who the guy who freed Gerathon is. My best guess is Zerif. Who do y'all think it was?

Wild Born is as good an introductory book as ever, I'd say. Some have called it boring, but I found it enjoyable. Our protagonists are wonderful and I hope nothing horrible ever befalls them. (Spoilers...) Abeke's chapters with the Conquerors were the most interesting to me, but I'm heavily biased. A lot of missed opportunities for character development here, but don't worry, we'll get that in the coming books. I wish the worldbuilding was better -- but to be fair, these books aren't very long. There's only so much room to talk about each land's geography and history and religion.

Excited to rediscover what the future holds for our protagonists!

This is part of an ongoing series.

Immortal Guardians | Broken Ground | The Return | The Burning Tide

Heart of the Land | The Wildcat's Claw | Stormspeaker | The Dragon's Eye

Tales of the Great Beasts | The Book of Shane | Tales of the Fallen Beasts

#text #spirit animals #spirit animals books #spirit animals series #spirit animals rewrite #wild born

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moondal514 · 5 months

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Just Leave a Comment Fest 2023 Holiday Edition

Final overall comment total for @justleaveacommentfest: 76

Here’s a very multi-fandom fic rec list of a few of the fics I read (reread in some cases), loved, and commented on that were on theme for each day of the fest:

Day 1: first fandom

(BBC Merlin is not technically the 1st fandom I was ever a part of, or even the 1st fandom I ever read fic for, but I do consider it my 1st real fandom because it’s the 1st fandom I interacted with as intensely as I interact with my fandoms now and it’s also the 1st fandom I ever wrote and posted fic for)

Fandom: BBC Merlin

Prick Love for Pricking by horsecrazy/ @cbk1000

In which Arthur and Merlin hook up at a sex party.

I haven’t felt the urge to read Merlin fic in years, but then I stumbled across this fic, which is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve read in a hot minute, and now my love for Merthur has reawakened within me with vengeance

And Down the River's Dim Expanse by horsecrazy

In which Arthur is a water spirit who tries to drown Merlin. Merlin is not impressed.

Literally obsessed with this fic from the second I read the 1st paragraph

Day 2: bookmark day

Fandom: All For the Game

never said that i didn't need you by incogneat_oh/ @incogneat-oh

"Aaron, are you ready to go? The emergency room queue isn’t getting any shorter.”

Aaron feels a thrill of nervousness pull unpleasantly in his belly. He doesn’t want to spend the night in a brightly-lit, overcrowded emergency room and have strangers prodding at him. He glances back at Andrew, who looks as disinterested as ever. He’s slouched over, hands in his lap and unmoving, face expressionless. He’s facing forward, but his eyes are on Aaron.

And Aaron’s halfway out the door when he swivels. Blurts, “You’ll come with me?"

Aaron and Andrew spend an evening hanging out in the emergency department.

One of my personal fave twinyard-centric fics

Fandom: The Historian

among some talk of you and me by Hokuto

Reader, I pray that you will have the strength to walk with me a little longer.

I remember when I 1st found this fic I was so shocked cuz I had no idea anyone had even written fic for this book, but this is literally a perfect little epilogue because it has everything I loved from the book (scholarly nerdiness, libraries, and Dracula)

Day 3: old favorites

Fandom: BBC Sherlock

The World on His Wrist by bendingsignpost/ @bendingsignpost

First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track. (John-centric AU)

An exceedingly old favorite of mine, like literally one of the 1st fics I ever read on ao3, but I just learned today that I had apparently never commented on it previously, which made it perfectly on theme for this day of the fest

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

When the Stars Threw Down Their Spears by umisabaku/ @umisabaku

"It’s hard to understand the hierarchy when a school like Nekoma exists, putting them all together like they belong, but by the time Kenma enters high school he understands the difference. Kuroo is a black panther, rare and precious; a large predator stronger than most any other foe.

Kenma is a calico housecat. His coloring is uncommon, but he is not special."

Shapeshifter!AU. Kenma struggles with a culture and the rules of courtship.

When I was in high school and at the peak of my sports anime phase, this was one of my fave fics, and so I loved revisiting it all these years later

Day 4: fandom curiosities

Fandom: Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Three Autumns by rageprufrock/ @rageprufrock

If Li Lianhua had known this mess would be waiting for him, he wouldn't have bothered to crawl out of his own grave.

The most I know of this show is what I’ve seen through a few gifs on my tumblr dashboard, but this fic made me fall so hard for the characters it’s not even funny

Fandom: Interview With the Vampire

hell and you by quensty/ @keithal

With respect to Daniel’s life, pain in the ass is spelled A-R-M-A-N-D.

I have read one (1) book and watched one (1) episode of the show, so I barely have any idea who these characters are, but holy shit this dynamic compels me

Day 5: rec a fic

Fandom: Mo Dao Zu Shi

a made thing by animediac/ @jaywalkers

Because at the end of it all, Wei Wuxian walks away with his happy ending and the rest of them are left with nothing.

(or, what comes after everything has gone)

Fantastic post-canon fic by one of the few writers that can make Chengsang convincing to me

Fandom: Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System

Life is (not) a Hallmark Movie by mellicindi/ @mellicindi

Shen Yuan isn't lonely. He's just overseas in a new city, trying to muddle his way through a business degree, and dealing with the side effects of his stupid intestines trying to kill him. So, maybe he sometimes watches ASMR to cope with his too-quiet apartment. Maybe he has a little bit of a parasocial-relationship-thing going on with one particular cooking ASMR channel. It's 2016, who doesn't? The point is, he's content with his quiet life.

And then Shang Qinghua strong-arms him into watching one Hallmark Christmas movie, and it all goes to hell.

Or: Shen Yuan is a Hallmark movie protagonist, Luo Binghe is a Lifetime movie protagonist, and somehow they make it work.

I sadly missed the read-along this year, but this fic has been on my tbr since pretty much as soon as I started reading fic for this fandom, so I got to finally read it and it’s really fantastic

As always, I’ll continue to comment on fics and show all you writers appreciation for your craft <3

#just leave a comment fest #fic rec #fic rec list #bbc merlin #aftg #the historian #bbc sherlock #hq #iwtv #mdzs #svsss #mlc

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orchidyoonkook · 7 months

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(The tagged post was super long so I'm just gunna make a new one, I hope that's okay!)

Thank you for the tag @loki-wants-an-army!! I'm super excited for this!!

Last song: Ptaha Fred by The Unsleeping

Favorite color: Yellow and purple!!

Currently watching: Chicago Med, House, and The King's Affection

Last movie: Fully watched??? uhm...either Zombieland Double Tap or Elemental

Currently reading: I have three books I've started in the last year and have been trying to finish, but life. And one more I'm rereading because the sequel comes out in a couple days.

So: Midnight Sun by Stephanie Meyer, Crescent City: House of Sky and Breath by Sarah J Maas (fav author) and Renegades by Marissa Meyer.

Then: Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yaros (READ THIS PLEASE ITS SO GOOD)

Sweet/spicy/savory: YES. No. Yes.

Current obsession: orange pekoe tea, gouache painting, frogs, and yellow furniture

Last thing I googled: fear of long words

Currently working on: TWWWBAATTA 6, ideas for other members, finishing moving into my house, finishing my crochet sweater project, finishing my commissioned crochet blanket project, and job hunting.

tagging: the lovely @violetsiren90 @katykatmeow @leohatter @here4kpopfics @petasse02 @remmykinsff @heroinanne and @hoseokhasmyheartxx plus anyone who wants to join, of course with no pressure

#tag game with yoon #THIS WAS SO FUN THANK YOU LOKI #and i searched the fear of long words cuz i can never remember how to spell out the long ass word that is the phobia #hippopotomonstrosisquippidaliophobia????? maybe????? idk dude

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sumire-no-nikki · 4 months

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Hardy Days

January is a month that takes some time to break into like brand new shoes. It always feels longer than it is. It has been a while since I’ve been online properly though for the best reasons. My days have been full. My desk succumbs to entropy just as soon as I’ve tidied it up, my planner is abundant with marks, overflowing with tasks in constant flux. But that just means my hours are well consumed. My days feel very lived in and I’m endlessly thankful for that.

It hasn’t been all work though! I managed to read 4 books so far this month, two of which I would like to mention here. The first book I read is Before We Say Goodbye, which is the fourth book in the Before the Coffee Gets Cold Series by Toshikazu Kawaguchi. I think the fourth one is my favorite so far, if not a close second to the first book. This one made me cry so hard it felt like a cardio exercise haha. The fifth book hasn’t been translated yet and I’m too impatient so I went ahead and started it in Japanese. I was just telling a pal how much comfier it is in the original language. I think I will reread the previous books in Japanese as well once I can get ahold of it from Kinokuniya. I’m so excited!

Another book I finished recently is Voices of the Dead by Ambrose Parry. It’s a historical fiction medical/crime novel set in Victorian Edinburgh. It also has hints of angsty romance between the two main characters, and if you know me at all, you know angst is my fuel, my reason for being lmao. But on top of the already very attractive premise, I must say the pervasive question of “am I what I come from or am I what I can become” throughout all the books is such a robust subject that I can never get enough of. I really enjoyed it! Ah, but now I’ve got to wait for the next book (if there is one). I’m pretty hopeful because the ending was set up for a continuation for sure, but you never know. Also, can I just complain about something extremely petty? Why is the fourth book’s spine different from the rest of the series? It’s from the same publisher, the same font is used. But why is the symbol not the same size as the other volumes’ symbols? WHY. Why would they make it not line up properly like that? I’m losing my mind!!

Now, I’m not one for redecorating just because it’s a new year, but I did change up my vinyl corner by switching out the old art with two posters in matching red—one from a Mitski concert way back in 2017, and one poster of Billie Marten’s 2023 album. Two very different eras of my life coming together. Quite poetic now that I think about it.

While on the subject of music, I’ve had Marika Hackman’s new album “Big Sigh” on repeat since it came out. Oh my god it’s so so good. I remember thinking when I first heard it, god, this is like having my guts pulled out of me. The lyrics are so raw I felt like my chest was going to cave in. Even the music conveys such angst and self-sabotage. The one song that struck me the most is the penultimate song called “Please Don’t Be So Kind.” That one really spoke to me. I love it so much I figured out the guitar chords by ear because I badly wanted to play it. (It’s just three chords in slightly different arrangements throughout the song: C/G-D/A-Em7/B. Half-step up tuning or more conveniently with capo on the 1st fret). I haven’t stopped thinking about the album and I don’t think I will ever stop doing so. I feel that my life is made richer by having listened to this body of work. Even though it’s rather depressing, I actually relish that about it. I think I’m at an age now where I can clearly see my emotion outside my body. It’s a place I can visit as I please. I can work through my feelings and then when I’ve done my best with it, I can leave it be. I can experience things as deeply as I want to while having the confidence that I won’t lose myself in it. It’s a very freeing sense of clarity.

Also, this is from a while back now but I got the newest volume of the coffee magazine I’m subscribed to and the coffee sampler they sent for the quarter is stellar. It tasted of peach and orange, it was insane. The sampler had enough for only two espresso double shots but it made such an impact I just have to note it down here. The roaster, A Matter of Concrete, is based in Rotterdam. I might have to pop in there to try more of their coffee one of these days. Oh, but this reminds me that my grinders are due for a cleaning. Right, I’ll have to do that sometime tomorrow. And I’m not looking forward to it because I’m always anxious I’ll fuck up the burrs or put the grinders back all wrong. Also, looking at this photo, I have to polish my espresso machine, don’t I? Oops.

What else have I been up to? I’ve recently reconnected with my best friend from my undergraduate days and it has been such a blessing. We didn’t have a fight or anything. We just drifted apart because I moved away for my MA and they went back home for a job offer. But they reached out to let me know they’ll be moving to Europe to start a second degree and a career change!! Which means we will be able to see each other again!! Oh, I’m looking forward to that so much I’m counting the days. I have such fond memories of them I can’t wait to bear hug the hell out of them haha.

I also finally decided to finish a writing project I have left alone to stew in its own unfinished mess for far too long lol. I forced myself to churn as much words as I could, and then the arduous task of negotiating what to keep, what to expand and what to cut came soon after. I’ve since finished it and I’m relieved to have concluded that story. I’m quite satisfied with the arc. It felt like a good study of how I write, what I want from a story and how I can achieve it. Writing is a process of self discovery and I’m always overwhelmed by that feeling when it’s happening in real time. Like you feel minute parts of yourself shifting into new positions, light shed in previously dark corners. It’s overwhelming and terrifying, yet tranquil and natural at the same time. I look forward to whatever I’ll find in the next writing project.

Anyway, I’m off to do a bit of translation work. It has been quite an eventful Friday for me over here, and my weekend is looking like it will be just as busy. How has your January been? I hope you’ve been taking good care of yourself. I leave you with a song by This Is The Kit called “Inside Outside.” It has a groovy bass line that I enjoy playing and straight up just vibing to. I recommend the album it's from if you’re in the market for something new to listen to.

That’s all for now. Until next time!

#diary #sumire-no-nikki

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quotidian-oblivion · 9 months

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Fic Stats Game

Got tagged by @uncertainwallflower for this game and THANKS SO MUCH!!

Rules: Give us links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and fic with the least amount of words.

Most hits

My School’s Local Mafia Boss

I think the title really explains it all? But anyway:

Jason knew that attending a rich ass school was going to be the toughest and most mind-grating thing ever. His beliefs were confirmed when he got cornered by bullies on his first day. The only thing he was surprised about was that it took them so long to find the school's new street rat. Just as he's about to be punched, a fucking 10 year old (he's actually 12) steps in and... starts threatening the bullies? And they actually listen?? What the fuck???

And that isn't the only surprise that's waiting for him.

Yep, knew it would be this one. I'm so proud of it

Second most kudos

Sometimes You Have To Find Your Own Genes

Timothy Jackson Drake just wants peace. So far, it’s going well with his time as Robin and hanging out with Batman and Nightwing while the occasional messy, violent visits from his parents. But when a certain someone comes back from the dead and reveals the secret he was honing and hiding for most of his life... well, it basically all goes to shit.

The multichap fics have the most stats cuz... they're multichaps. They appear in the filters more often

Third most bookmarks

Phone Alarms

"Just imagine Jason recording Batman angrily yelling "Nightwing!" then setting it as the sound of Dick's phone alarm so in the next morning when it goes off he flips the fuck out"

Saw the prompt on Pinterest. Wrote this in one setting.

I'm actually really proud of this one, might reread it

Fourth most comments

Can You Deduce Where I Am Now?

As soon as he woke up after coming back from Titans Tower, the second Dick and Bruce stepped into the room, Tim had eagerly told them that Jason was alive and that he was Red Hood! They didn’t believe him, blaming it on lack of sleep and the haze being shot brought, but Tim was sure he saw Jason. Older, bigger, with a white streak in his fringe, but still Jason.

Tim goes out to find Jason to bring his big brother back home. Jason... Jason has other matters to ponder on before deciding to come back.

I love this fic!! I went through like three or four different plots before writing it right before posting it (i write everything before posting). And then Cyg came in and beta-ed it so that was fun!

Fifth most words

Let Them Be Siblings

After the Waynes burst through his door and whisk him away from his parents and their harsh belting, their plane blows up, leaving Tim an orphan. Living in the manor is getting a little suffocating because no one seems to understand that he still loves his parents. They expect him to just “get over�� his grief and—

Tim can’t stay anymore. So he runs away. And meets two very interesting people.

Least words

Regarding The Workings Of A Zoo

Damian collecting a series of increasingly non-domesticated animals and naming them after his siblings.

A drabble for 105 subscribers on ao3 and 100 followers on Tumblr!

This is 886 words i cant write small stuff, i keep blabbering

No pressure at all tags: @sardonic-sprite @tristicorde @wakkoroni @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego

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polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 9 months

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oh my god I binge read sea glass garden last night and the third and fourth chapter DESTROYED ME.

I’m omw to reread the entire fic because it was too good and I KNOW that it’s going to be one of the must-reads of this fandom. I’m literally in love with all your characters (your Tsumiki is so freaking interesting she was READY to get at it with Maki✊🏻) especially your description of Megumi’s situation is killing me, my heart is in pieces. No matter how many stories there are depicting the years before his high school time, there will always be too few idc.

I’m pretty sure it’s canonically stated that Megumi went on missions before being enrolled as a student and that he witnessed the death of at least one comrade, all because he had been bought to be a jujutsu sorcerer. Imagine never having the delusion of a future because you signed your life away to ensure your sister would live happily. Your take on the fact that, maybe, at some point of his life, Megumi didn’t wish to be a jujutsu sorcerer anymore destroys me. I never really thought of it, and he probably never imagined a life for himself where he wouldn’t die as a jujutsu sorcerer either. He was downright begging to be left to die in peace because he couldn’t bear it any longer when he shouldn’t have even gone on missions yet at all😭 And even though his current injuries weren’t caused by a mission, I don’t think he’d be so stupid to try to tame the snake unsupervised a few days after Geto’s death. Like c’mon. It’s all the higher ups fault, because it always is. Damn them. I hope they choke on their rotting teeth😤

ANYWAY I GOT LOST ON THE WAY TO ASK YOU A QUESTION JANSJAJANJAHA I ramble way too much

I noticed the updates have been pretty frequent, so do you have an update schedule with pre-written chapters? No because if you don’t I applaude you for being able to write masterpieces in a few days😩

P.S. I was curious about the meaning of the title and I read your other post about it and it’s so beautiful😭 obviously it’s sad but it also speaks of the determination of humans’ will to survive yk? You are genius😫

No update schedule, unfortunately! I don’t have the self control to not post chapters when I have them. I go on hyperfixation-fueled writing binges and writers block crashes of unending despair. It’s a Whole Thing. Updates tend to come in waves with me. It’ll probably be pretty erratic updates until the story ends. Thank you for reading and for your kind words!

You are speaking my ENTIRE LANGUAGE with Megumi. He is, hands down, the most interesting character in the show to me. His backstory and how it intertwines with his philosophy and approach to morality make him just so unendingly interesting to me.

Like, the Fushiguro siblings and specifically Megumi really were doomed by the narrative from the start. Megumi never really lived in a world where he had a future. Like, the past arc takes place during spring of 2006, and his dad had ditched long enough at that point that he straight up forgot megumi's name. Tsumiki's mom had been gone long enough that Megumi thought she and his dad ran off together, so she probably wasn't around after Toji stopped coming. Megumi was born late December of 2002, so he would have been three then. Tsumiki was, at most, five. And because Gojo didn't go to meet them until after Geto's massacre in late summer of 2007, it was just the two of them for at least a year.

Like, the sheer horror of being two very small children taking care of each other, knowing that the money's running out and that your parents probably aren't coming back. They were living in abject poverty, and Megumi was most likely seeing curses during at least part of this (considering he was right at the age for it and he wasn't all that surprised with Gojo rolling up to tell him his dad was from a magic clan) with no idea what they were, because even if Toji explained anything (which i doubt) the chances of Megumi remembering the explanation aren't great. He's seeing horrifying things every day and doesn't have any support past his sister, who can't see the same.

Tsumiki and Megumi faced parentification at a ludicrously young age. We know that Tsumiki most likely took a pretty strong caretaking/maternal role for megumi from an early age, but the fact that baby Megumi's only question when Gojo found him and made his offer was about Tsumiki's happiness suggests that the caretaking wasn't one sided. Making decisions about your future based on the needs of your family is a very adult concern, and it was Megumi's only concern. While Tsumiki was canonically far more open with her affection and care (grumpy baby Megumi refusing to hold hands, you have my whole heart), Megumi definitely loved her deeply already and was modeling his actions with her interests in mind. They must have both been shouldering the load of raising and protecting the other for as long as they can remember. Tsumiki and Megumi were likely barely surviving day to day. They were already shouldering the stresses of grown ups and likely didn't have any of those childish, starry-eyed dreams about what it would be like when they grew up.

Even when Gojo enters the scene, the parentification didn't end. While he does take on a paternal/caretaking role, his intro into their lives very much heralded a time where Megumi became the family's compulsory breadwinner. I won't break down my thoughts on how Gojo probably wasn't the one who came up with the deal of Megumi being collateral for their survival since I already did it in another post, but however it came about, it doesn't change the fact that Megumi knows that he's the one his family's survival hinges on from a stupidly young age.

We know that Megumi was training/working as a jujutsu sorcerer pre-canon. Gojo straight up tells him at age 4 that he's going to need him to work hard, he references the fact that he's been training megumi for a while in season 1, Megumi admits to nobara that he's lost a comrade on a mission before Yuuji (though Yuuji was the first that was his age), and Megumi knows a lot of the people in this world. By the time canon starts, he's been training with Kamo since before Kamo entered school, so for 3-4 years minimum, and Mai knows him as well. Kamo straight up says that Megumi's got more talent than the head of the Zenin clan by his first year, and his Grade 2 status at entrance means he's considered a prodigy. There's also a lot of little scenes that suggest that Megumi's been doing this a while. When Gojo's talking to Yuuji about the detention center fight, he makes a few comments about how Megumi likely understood the reality of the fight and just how bad their odds were better than the other two, suggesting 1) megumi has the experience already to do that and 2) Gojo has witnessed him in the field enough to get a sense of how he evaluates situations. He's been doing this a while.

But the thing is that he's also passively suicidal the entirety of season 1. And that's probably because he spent his entire life believing he was going to die young.

He probably doesn't think of it as being passively suicidal, but he absolutely is. The sacrifice bunt vs Yuuji's homerun in season 1 is SUCH A GOOD MICROCOSM OF HIS CHARACTER.

Yuuji has the blind confidence of a very young god who was never informed that there were other gods that were older and more powerful and will kick his fucking ass. Like, he will be in Sukuna's throne room after the man ripped his heart out and Literally Killed Him and still be like "I will beat your entire ass." No doubt. No hesitation. I simply love him.

Megumi, meanwhile, walks into fights knowing he will find one that he can't win. Yuuji thinks he can beat anyone, but Megumi defaults to the assumption that he can't win in a way that is really suggestive of a very, very deep underlying mental issue.

I don't know if you're anime-only or if you know what the "trump card" gojo refers to during his training scene with Megumi, so I'll confine it to what's already appeared in the anime. Throughout the anime, there's multiple times where it's alluded to the fact that Megumi has some kind of "trump card" where he can take his enemy down with him. Gojo specifically refers to it as "dying to win." Sukuna even recognized to some degree that he was pulling it during their fight and called it "burning through your own life." Whatever it is, it's a sacrifice play. It's taking someone down with him.

And we see throughout the anime multiple times where he almost pulls it. Sukuna is the biggest example, but he likely almost pulled it twice in the fight against Hanami during the Goodwill Event arc. When Hanami first confronts them, Megumi immediately says "Get Inumaki out of here" to Kamo.

And that's fucking weird. Inumaki's a semi-grade one sorcerer, higher than him. He's his very experienced senpai. He's no slouch in a fight. Kamo is older than all of them, has been training his entire life, and is a first grade sorcerer. Out of all of them, Megumi was the baby kohai who should have been leaning on the older students. Instead, he's trying to get them out of the line of fire. He probably saw an immeasurably powerful special grade and decided to pull the same trump card he almost pulled in the fight against Sukuna as soon as Inumaki and Kamo were safe.

Later, when Hanami has Maki by the throat, after he was already hit by her root attack that would kill him if he used cursed energy, he makes the same hand signals he did during the Sukuna fight while thinking about how he's the one who has to make the sacrifice play. He was absolutely killing himself to win.

And that mentality makes so much sense when you consider that Megumi already made the sacrifice play with him and his sister all those years ago.

He's spent his entire life locked into being a sorcerer. It's the collateral keeping himself and his sister alive. He doesn't have a way out. His future employment is collateral for an already-accrued debt; he just doesn't have the option to quit and do something else the way everyone else does. And the thing about being a sorcerer is that the mortality rate is not awe-inspiring, to the point where the Kyoto students canonically tried not to get close to each other because they knew that a decent number of them would be dying young and it would hurt less.

Megumi's not stupid, and he's been doing this for a long time. He's probably been reconciling with his own likely violent death for a long time by the time canon starts, and it really fucking shows with how he approaches fights until the bridge fight. There's something so tragic and sad about that to me. Like, what age was he when he realized this life would probably kill him? When he realized that he would never have a way out?

When you bring in his own morality structure and philosophical approach to life, that entire mindset becomes so fucking interesting. Because Megumi's plainly fucking furious that people did this to him.

Megumi's middle school bullying days is both hilarious and endlessly fascinating in the context of his history. His entire thing is that he hates bad people and believes that we’re born into a fundamentally unjust world. Specifically, he hates people that look at the vulnerable and lack empathy for them, to the point where he ended up going out of his way to beat up every single bully in his middle school an unilaterally enforce peace. He had an entire dramatic speech about how he was doing this because they had hurt others—the worlds based on social construct, "please don't kill me and I won't kill you." They had broken that to make themselves feel strong, and if they did it again in front of him, he'd kill them. All that jazz. And it's really interesting that he never once looks down on the people getting bullied. There's a huge emphasis on strength as tied to value in JJK--Sukuna and Gojo being some of the biggest examples--but Megumi only looks down on a lack of empathy and compassion, not people who are physically weak.

Once that's contextualized with the fact that the person who was supposed to protect him abandoned him and sold him to some very bad people, it becomes a lot more tragic. He's doomed by the narrative and he's self aware of the fact that he's doomed. He spends his entire middle school years kicking the shit out of people who take advantage of people because they can, and I personally think that's because that's exactly what happened to him when he was a kid. There's always a bigger fish, and some pretty fucking big fish have him in a corner. But he's the biggest fish in the pond of his middle school, and he does not put up with people who hurt others just because they can.

He spends his last years before becoming a full time sorcerer acting as the sort of person that never was there for him as a child, and there's something so tragic about that to me. Megumi just reads as someone who's already accepted he's doomed and is so angry he wasn't saved.

Even his name has tinges of tragedy to me. Like, it's the difference between "blessing" and "blessed."

On his face, Megumi seems like he's blessed. He won the genetic lottery. He was born with one of the most powerful techniques in the franchise, the one that the Zenin clan desperately wants. It's rare enough that no one else alive has inherited it. It's suggested that it's the Zenin equivalent to the Six Eyes, and Gojo's the one who's always saying how he alone is blessed by heaven. Even Kamo, who isn't even Zenin, commented during their fight on how much people wanted someone like Maki or Mai to get it instead. I won't comment on manga events, but as it proceeds, it becomes even more obvious just how valuable his technique is considered to be.

But Megumi doesn't seem to particularly care about his technique.

He said at one point that, in middle school, he didn't really want to be a jujutsu sorcerer because he couldn't imagine who he'd want to save (the fact that his first act in the series is to save Yuuji is another discussion entirely that I am so mentally ill about). Megumi spends the series surrounded by people who are extremely impressed by and focused on his technique, but for Megumi? His technique and its value seems to be the thing that trapped him. No one was ever going to let him live in peace, and he was young enough that he had no real way to protect his own interests.

He never got to be a kid who got to dream about what he'd be when he grew up. Other kids got to say they'd be an astronaut, or an actor, or a veterinarian or whatever, and he has known that he would be lucky to not die in wizard school his entire childhood. He is a blessing for other people, for the Zenin who want his technique, for the higher ups who effectively own him until he repays his debt, but he's not blessed. He's just valuable sea glass with collectors circling. He hates his name, and I think he hates what he is as well. He's an extraordinarily strong willed person who hates people who take advantage, but he's spent his entire life with a boot on his neck. that must piss him off.

I think his relationship with jujutsu sorcerer would have potentially been a lot better if it had been a choice for him, but he's someone who intensely values control over himself who has been controlled by the circumstances of his birth his entire life. There are all these tiny ways in the show that he tries to exert control over his own circumstances because he just doesn't have a lot of control over his life and it's just amazing character design.

He's just so tragic to me. I am so mentally unwell over him.

Tsumiki and the fact that she was fully about to fight Maki for a hot minute was a lot harder to settle on, mostly because we just don't get a lot about her. But I actually kind of like those kinds of characters? I get to play more in those sandboxes and have more freedom with the character because I'm just using what's little known about them as a bouncing off point and making shit up for the rest.

And with Tsumiki we just do not have a huge amount because she's in a magic coma when canon starts. What little we have is coming through Megumi, who is a naturally unreliable narrator when it comes to her. Like, in his mind, her primarily defines her as "a good person," and that makes a lot of sense when you consider that this is his big sister who was, effectively, the only source of stability and care he had growing up and is almost completely lost to him by the start of canon. he's the last person i would expect to be an reliable narrator about her.

Fanon (at least what I've seen) seems to have translated what we've seen to her into "kind natured good girl" which I don't entirely agree with? I just don't think those kind of people exist. Like, the one's who are all sunshine and rainbows and kind thoughts all the time. Everyone has negative emotions; it's just a matter of how they deal with them.

Also what little concrete we have on her doesn't necessarily suggest she fits that kind of eternally-caring good girl motif anyway.

There's the big example, where she says she would much rather think about the ones she loves rather than curse anyone. This very notably isn't an idealistic "everyone has good in them" rationalization, but it's more "I have better things to do with my time." Forgiving bad people is a trait that Megumi attributes to her, but he's an unreliable narrator about her, so it may be accurate or it may not be. There's a difference between forgiving someone and taking a policy of non-interference.

It's also suggested that she doesn't actually look down on the absence of forgiveness--she actually comments pretty favorably on it. She says that Megumi's refusal to forgive people is a part of his kindness. This suggests that, even though she goes after him for fighting, it's not some kind of perfectly kind "forgiveness is the right thing to do" rationalization. She recognizes the nuance in Megumi's actions and his anger. The thing she really gets on him for is the fighting itself, not the anger, and fighting 1) has wider impacts on Megumi (physically, mentally, emotionally, on his record, etc) and 2) it's suggested that she gets on him because of these wider impacts. We never actually see her discuss it at all in terms of the people he beats up, and Megumi thinks, in retrospect, that she was picking him to care about the same way that he picks who he saves. Again, he's unreliable, so this may be true and it may not be, but I find her character so interesting if it is true, especially in light of her quote about not cursing people because she'd rather think of her loved ones.

That takes Tsumiki from the kind of "prototypical good girl" character type into the realm of someone who has picked to only care about certain people and approach the rest of the world with polite indifference. She doesn't share Megumi's anger at the world, but she doesn't exactly approach it with starry-eyed idealism either.

A much better example of starry-eyed idealism within JJK is actually Yuuji (pre-Junpei) or Geto (pre-genocidal breakdown) than Tsumiki--and the narrative immediately deconstructs both cases of starry-eyed idealism, suggesting that it doesn't genuinely tie being a "good person" to those approaches to morality.

Both Yuuji and Geto kind of spout like, baby's first philosophy class styles of idealism. And I don't mean that in a derogatory way towards either of them--they're both highly empathetic teenagers who care a lot about the world and people in it who are trapped in a system that is fundamentally hostile. Yuuji has a stance of "even considering killing would affect my soul" and Geto has a stance of "I exist for the sake of protecting those weaker than me," both of which aren't wholly without merit, but both are overly simplistic and lack nuance. Which makes sense, because they're both a teenager's approach to morality. In a safer environment, they could have grown in nuance and had their world views challenged safely. but the system they're both existing in isn't safe and never has been--so Yuuji ends up having to confront his stance on killing when he has to put literal children trapped in inexplicable torment out of their misery, and Geto goes off his rocker entirely.

In contrast, Tsumiki really isn't as idealistic as either of them, from what little we see of her. She never once gets close to their levels of "I want to save everyone" syndrome--it's straight up that she's picked her people to care about and has better things to do with her time than waste it on hate and anger. Contextualizing it within her background, that reads more like a survival strategy than being a sparkly kind perfect good girl.

She was a very young girl who had to shoulder a huge amount of responsibility at a young age. She was stuck in terrible circumstances, living well below the poverty line, with her only support being a brother that was even younger than her. We don't know anything about her mom or bio dad, or how much she knows about/remembers Toji, but it's interesting that Toji's approach to life is the antithesis of Tsumiki's.

Toji was so caught up in his own bitterness towards how he was treated that a big part of why he took Riko's assassination was so he could prove he was stronger than *checks notes* a sixteen year old miracle baby and his repressed boyfriend. In the end, the fact that he was caught up in his bitterness was his downfall, and he said it himself: he normally would have fucked off the second Gojo showed up after the assassination was done. He directly ignored his instincts to prove a monkey like him could take on the pinnacle of jujutsu sorcery, and that's what killed him.

There's not enough in canon to tell us either way if tsumiki had any impressions of the adults in her life, but I honestly really like the idea of her looking at the a life where the adults are neglecting her because they've been consumed by their own anger and hate and purposefully deciding to not let it consume her as well. To discard that kind of stuff, not because she thinks there's good in everyone or that it's horribly wrong to have negative emotions, but because she has the people she loves and she's building a life with them by sheer force of will. She's fleeing the teeth of a beast, not approaching the world through rose-colored glass.

For another thing, we have legitimately two actions that she's canonically taken in the series. One was nail Megumi in the back of the head with a milk carton during a fight, the other was fling her fucking body off a bridge with a homemade bungee chord. Girl's probably not a nun.

I ended up deciding that the core of Tsumiki's character needed to be that had a, for lack of a better word, selfish way of loving people. Not to say that she acts selfishly (if anything, canon shows she's intensely selfless when it comes to the people she loves), but just that she's decided to conserve her efforts and care to center around the people she loves and not care about the whole world and everything in it. In her mind, Megumi's kindness is in part because he's angry on the behalf of other people, which is a trait she doesn't share. She cares about her brother and just straight up doesn't have the time or resources for everyone else. Megumi is her landmine.

There's not enough in canon to contradict this reading of her, which makes her fun to write. So she's a relatively nice and polite girl until her brother's in danger, in which case she's immediately stealing cars and about to throw hands with a girl holding a polearm. She's so fun.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk spoilers #fushiguro tsumiki #fushiguro megumi #sea glass gardens #those that have been following me for a while know that the ask box comes at the risk of 73 different tangents in the answer #that's right folks it's yet another info dump

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failedaethercore · 2 months

Text

The Missing Messenger

Inspired by @wolfofcelestia's amazing work found here.

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This (my fourth fic ever lol) was written in a fever state to get it out of my system since this had been consuming me all day today while I did my adulting. Please be kind, I know there are likely a lot of mistakes, But I am trying my best to learn and grow as a writer while writing all these fics.

Also I know I wrote something similar in my last fic, but I think I've ironed it out better this time. So bear with me while I work towards a new theme haha

Rafayel x fem!MC/reader, Xavier, Zayne, confessions, fluffy stuff at the end I swear ;;

Please be warned, this is a dark work and is not a good idea to read if you are easily triggered.

CW: torture, depression, allusions to rape, blood, guns, death, please let me know if I need to add any more (can't think of what else, I swear I'm not here to hurt any of you lovely people)

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Rafayel was laying on his sofa, one arm artfully draped over his eyes as he sighed in defeat. His latest piece was causing him so much trouble, which made him feel like just giving up and moving on to something else. But he was too far along to call it quits just yet, he wanted to see it finished.

So when his phone hummed quietly near his hand, he let out another dramatic groan and picked it up, praying it wasn't Thomas bothering him to find out when the painting would be done. It was just a text. From you.

Y/n: Hey, I saw there's a new cafe down near the plaza, you wanna go when we both have some time? Apparently they have rose flavored milk tea and really good snacks. I really wanna try it!

Rafayel smirked and sent a quick series of replies.

Rafayel: That might be a little difficult, I'm in the middle of my magnum opus and cannot be torn away! Even if it caught fire, I can never leave my studio until my vision reaches fruition!

Rafayel: But maybe you can bring me some when you come visit...perhaps...this afternoon?

He could sense you rolling your eyes as he sees the word “read” next to his texts. He lets himself full on grin, hoping you'll agree.

Y/n: I do have today off...but wouldn't you like a break? You've been cooped up all week, I thought.

Rafayel: Don't you understand y/n? I must see this through! ...But I could use a little break, if you're willing to drop everything right now and bring me an iced latte with soy milk and plenty of brown sugar boba.

Y/n: And a slice of cheesecake?

Rafayel: You know me so well, it's almost like we're friends.

Y/n: Or enemies.

He chuckles to himself, texting you always managed to brighten his foulest moods, despite the aching in his chest when his thoughts lingered too long on how you were unlikely to ever want to be more than that...just friends.

He sighed and waited for a moment, staring at the screen to see if you were going to say anything else. When it had been long enough, he figured you were getting ready to come over, and he slumped back onto the sofa once more, leaving his phone on his chest as he stared up at the blue coming through the skylights in the ceiling.

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He didn't think it would take this long to get ready, but he was patient. He may whine and complain and give you the hardest time for making him wait...but he had already waiting so long for you, what is one more hour? Or two...o-or three...

His phone vibrated again, alerting him of a text messsage. He stopped his idle paint mixing, having wanted something to do while he waited for you, and looked down at his phone set beside him.

Y/n: I love you, Rafayel

His chest suddenly felt full and warm, he could feel his heart beginning to beat quickly, and he swore he could feel his ears redden in the delight that phrase had brought him. He reread it several times, pinched himself, even slapped his face with his free hand, just to make sure he hadn't fallen asleep while waiting for you.

He quickly typed a reply once he had confirmed he wasn't dreaming.

Rafayel: Well it's about time! Thought I would have to be the first one to admit it, at this rate...

But the message wasn't read right away. Maybe you were walking over from the cafe now? And you just wanted to confess before your visit. He had no idea why you were being so honest with yourself (and him), but he was so happy he couldn't care about that right now.

He hums happily for a while, waiting even more impatiently for you to arrive. But now it's been an hour. Then two. He checks his phone. Neither of you had ever agreed on a time to meet, but he didn't think you'd make him wait so long...

Rafayel: Y/n? Are you coming? Are you okay?

His joy started to melt into chilling fear, dripping down his spine as he realizes that his confession was left unread, after all this time. That's when the panic sets in fully. Something is wrong.

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Rafayel is in his trendy sports car before he can even think about what he's doing. Acting on pure instinct alone, he's already across the bridge and meeting the afternoon traffic that Linkon City is known for on a normal Thursday. For a moment he ponders if he should break the law, eyes darting hastily around the intersection before he floors it through a red light, not even bothering to slow down. He was a madman behind the wheel already, notorious for making you white knuckle the armrest whenever you rode with him. But now he was terrified, and determined.

He regains his senses while swerving to avoid a line of slowed cars, and quickly presses a few buttons on the car's touch screen, attempting to call you. Maybe your phone had just died. Please let him be a silly fool who worries over nothing. It rang for a while, before rolling over to voicemail, your standard message of “Hey, this is y/n, sorry I missed your call, leave me a message after the beep! Beep! No, not that one” followed be a giggle and then another beep. “Y/n please be okay, you've been quiet for a while, just starting to worry about my bodyguard here...I'm heading over to see if maybe you just fell asleep, since it's your day off! You better answer your door!”

Before he forgot, he decided to make one more call, pressing another button and starting a call with Thomas.

Thomas sounds elated to hear from Rafayel, thinking he had finally finished the painting and that Thomas could set up a new exhibition around it and the other dozen paintings Rafayel had finished earlier.

“Rafayel! It's about time, do you kno-” Before Thomas can begin nagging Rafayel about making him wait so long for just one painting, Rafayel cuts him off. “Something's wrong with y/n! She won't pick up her phone and I need you to track her down somehow. She's usually not this quiet, you have to help me Thomas!” The man was taken aback, his feet falling off his desk that he had leaned up there confidently at the beginning of the call. He sat upright and had no idea how to respond for a moment, Rafayel never begged for anything. Ever. At least not to him, anyways.

Rafayel waited for Thomas to reply, then shouted at the man. “Thomas! Go find Y/n! I need to know she's okay!” Thomas broke his silence with a stuttered “Y-yeah sure!” before hanging up quickly to make some calls of his own.

Rafayel pressed the gas pedal to the floor, as he sped down the road to come to a screeching halt in front of your apartment complex. He jumped out, not even bothering to make sure the engine was off, but just managing to remember to put the damned thing into park.

He bolted up the stairs, taking each step three at a time, as his long legs screamed at him from the sudden exertion on his usually lazy muscles. He knew your apartment number by heart, knowing exactly where you slept every night, just to occasionally check in and make sure you got home from a hunt okay. Even if he never knocked on the door, he looked up at the window in your apartment until the light came on, and he could see you open the window to let in some fresh air.

He knocked hard on the door, urgency spurring his continued knocks on as he waited impatiently. “Y/n! Hey! You home?!” There was no evidence of tampering that he could detect, the door looked like it always did, so when he had to break it down to get in, he felt a little guilty. Nevermind, he could easily replace it with a better one and the building's manager would be fine with it. He was praying you were just half asleep on your bed and would just scold him for freaking out over nothing.

When he found your apartment empty, not a soul in the place, while the windows were left wide open...his heart, already halfway down to his stomach, finishes it descent into his gut, while tears threaten his eyes. No...this can't be real. He's dreaming, all of this is a lie. He pinches himself again, and again, trying to bring himself out of this nightmare.

When he decides that he is truly not dreaming, he tries to call your phone again, only to hear your phone ringing under the sofa. The song you set as his ringtone would have probably made him chuckle and tease you if this wasn't such a terrifying scenario.

He picks it up from the floor, and looks at it. A photo of him smiling with you while you both pose in front of the camera glows before his eyes. That's when it all starts to blur a little, as tears begin to truly tug at the edges of his sight. He couldn't hold them back anymore, and let out a shout of your name, unable to contain his emotions because he had just found you again.

Moments later, a silver-haired man came barging into the apartment from the balcony, obviously drawn by the commotion from below. When Rafayel saw him, he was immediately on guard, drawing a dagger from behind his back, summoned from a plume of flame in his hand.

The man looked around quickly before drawing his own weapon, a sword borne of light held aloft and pointed at Rafayel. “Where is y/n. What are you doing in her apartment?” Rafayel stares down the weapon with indifference, not even registering the question before he lunges forward, another dagger being summoned to his empty hand as the sound of metal hitting metal fills the space.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

The fight only lasted a few minutes, but both men were so fast, and so evenly matched, they both fell to the floor quickly, panting, covered in cuts and bruises. At some point Rafayel had punched the man in the face, and at another point the man had gotten a good slice into the front of Rafayel's expensive shirt.

While both of them caught their breaths, the man asked another question. “Where is y/n...and who are you?” He had never met a match in battle, and was honestly a little stunned.

“Well who the hell are you? How do you know her name and where she lives?!”

The man slumps his back against the wall near the television, running his hand through his starlit hair. “Xavier...I'm her upstairs neighbor, and her Hunter partner.” Rafayel lets out a sigh and withers at the fact.

“I'm...Rafayel...she's my bodyguard. Did you hear anything in here earlier?” He is immediately brought back to the entire reason he was even here. “Y/n left her phone, she never leaves without it.” Xavier stares as Rafayel holds up your phone, the tiny charm hanging off it indicating it was definitely yours. He had no idea who gave you the tiny red fish charm, but he had always secretly been a little jealous.

“Then...the noises earlier...” Xavier stares down at the floor. “I thought y/n was exercising for some reason, even though it was her day off...I heard some shuffling noises...but I didn't think anything of it because I couldn't sense any Wanderers.” Rafayel's eyes narrow with every word, until his glare can be felt like a radiating heat from the depths of hell. He would bore a hole right through Xavier's head if he could.

Xavier sheepishly looked away, his quiet and sleepy demeanor made meek in that moment as guilt struck him like lightning. “I didn't realize. ...We need to find her.”

Before both men departed your apartment, Rafayel making a call to get your apartment door repaired, Xavier promising to contact your old friend Zayne who works at the nearby hospital, they agreed to exchange numbers and keep in touch. Their expressions grim as they went their separate ways.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

Rafayel's soul had now been shredded, drowned, disintegrated, and finally blown away like sands in the storm. This happened nearly on the daily for him, as every moment of you being missing driving him further into madness.

It had been weeks so far.

Where were you?

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

You had been texting with Rafayel when you had nodded off, meaning to get up and get ready to go get tea and snacks to bring to his studio and spend time with him. You were excited, but work had been draining your energy of late, so you let yourself nod off for a bit. Rafayel could wait, plus you enjoyed his bratty pout when you made him wait a little bit.

You awoke to the shufflling sound of something opening your window from the balcony. Or rather...someone. You realized how late it was in the same moment you realized what was going on. Men in neutral and dark clothes, face coverings, and holding rope and other supplies silently entered your apartment, thinking you were still asleep.

You quickly sent a text, knowing there was no saving you now. You could beat them up, you could take out maybe three of them in your current condition. Your energy still low from that last mission. “I love you, Rafayel” the last thing you send, as you don't know if you're going to come back from this as more figures climb into the room, you can hear their boots quietly touching onto the floor.

You jumped up from your position on the couch and ran to secure your concealed weapon you kept in the kitchen. A firearm for in case a Wanderer got too close to the apartment complex, or something like this happening. Unfortunately for you, one of them had a taser gun, and shot you in the back, taking you down before you can even reach under the counter for the weapon strapped there.

You can't make out much as your senses are blacking out from the pain. But you make out a low chuckle from one of the figures, a man with piercing eyes glowers down at you as he puts his boot on your head and grinds it into the floor a little. “...You're going to regret going for that.”

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

It had been what felt like an eternity. Your figure was chained to the floor, the shackles on your wrists and ankles constantly chafing and making your joints ache from their weight. You were losing your muscles from all the lack of exercise, but that didn't mean you didn't still suffer the brutality of your captors.

Every single day, at some point during the day, the door to the pitch black cell would open, light would pour in, and then it would begin.

The first time, you had let yourself feel a glimmer of hope. Rafayel? Had he found you? But no...it was the man with the piercing eyes, everyone wearing masks still despite clearly being in a safe location. They could never be too cautious, it seemed. “You're going to tell us everything you know about Lemurians and where we can find them.”

Your face went a little slack. You knew very little about them, and only knew maybe...two? Three? One of them...you would never reveal their identity to these monsters. You had just arrived at this point, but the shackles were already hurting you, and the taser to your back still stung and caused your nerves to shiver with what you hoped didn't look like fear.

“Don't worry, you don't have to answer right away. Let's have some fun with this first...” At first your face distorts into disgust, until the man pulls out a blade and you see the cloth mask over his face wrinkle in a way that could only mean he was smiling maliciously. His eyes glint with joy at the prospect of hurting you.

But you never broke. Not once. You swore to yourself that death would be better than letting them know about Rafayel. After everything he had confided in you, after everything he had given to you, you would guard it with your dying breath before this scum found a drop of information. So you didn't struggle, you didn't fight, you let the torture continue for forever, as the outside world spun on without you. You wouldn't let others suffer because of your weakness, your failings.

You blamed yourself for being too lax, being too comfortable in your life, when you knew danger was a constant part of your everyday life. Your vigilance had slipped for a moment, and you were the reason you were in this situation now.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

Once Zayne had been made aware of the situation, he had stopped working for a few days, searching in his own way to find you. The days turned into weeks, before he had to return to his work, guilt riding him on both fronts as he didn't want to give up the search, but he couldn't leave his patients to die.

Xavier had assured him he would be notified as soon as you were located, and Zayne tried his best to take comfort in that, at least. Rafayel was being driven mad, to the point of having barely slept and not eaten for far too long.

He was delirious, laying on the floor of his torn apart studio, as it was too many reminders of you, in some ways. His heart was gone, he felt numb all over, and his mind swam as he stared up at the darkening sky in the ceiling. He had searched through his underworld connections, but couldn't pry anything from anyone. No one knew a thing about it, apparently. But he knew you didn't just vanish into thin air.

So when all felt lost, he decided to try his last resort. You had his heart beating in your chest. From lives lived long ago, you have been reborn with that same heart time and time again. You were breathing because he gave you his everything the first time you had met. And now he had to pull it to him. He struggled for a while to try and tune into whatever frequency it was, he was rusty and hadn't really done anything like this in what felt like centuries.

So when he finally knew he had it, he could sense other Lemurians in Linkon City, he could sense the vast ocean and the creatures that reside there...he could even faintly sense others further still, but not you.

You were a blank space. An empty void stood where your usual place in the universe hung. He didn't realize he had stopped breathing until his lungs screamed for air. He sat up suddenly and gasped, choking on the air briefly before he coughed and started to sob into his hands.

You were gone. Not a trace. Nothing.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

You were bloody and covered in scarring wounds, broken bones and twisted muscles. Today had been burns on your bare flesh, followed by mild drowning in sea water. But they lost interest, saying you probably liked it, since clearly you liked fish and all that.

You were struggling to breathe through your broken ribs, but you tried to keep steady, breathing through your nose slowly as you kept a stoic expression on your bruised and puffy face. Every day had been something new, something awful. But the taste of the deep salt water had hardened your resolve. You didn't know why Rafayel couldn't find you, but you would escape. You would find him and he would keep you safe again. You had to believe that, despite the fear that this was actually some elaborate play to make you loyal or something.

You were given too much time in the darkness by yourself. Your mind would race to horrible scenarios at the drop of a hat already, but now you had concocted a horrible fantasy where Rafayel had been the mastermind behind all of this, and that you were being tested to be sure you were loyal to him no matter what. But that made you more fearful that whoever Rafayel was running from must be even worse than this.

So you steeled yourself every day, when the shuffling of feet could be heard outside your door, you would sit up and just stoically stare at a spot in your vision that did not exist. Grounding your mind in what you had to tell yourself to survive this.

He was looking for you. He would come. As soon as you could make your move, he would find you. Somehow. If he was truly behind this, then Xavier and Zayne would find you. You had been gone far too long for you to not be missed. This was your courage. And you would be doubly damned by the Gods if you let yourself fail now.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

The day finally came. They had become less vigilant, as you had never once made an effort to break free, and the fire had quickly died in your eyes. They were almost ready to just let you go, figuring you didn't know anything. The only things they could ever extract from you were screams and grunts of agony. You had even overheard them talking amongst themselves several times, talking about their personal lives as if it was another day at an office job.

So when you were ready, you had snuck a small thin object, you think it was a broken paperclip, to pick the locks on your shackles. You made quick work in the inky darkness that surrounded you, but left the shackles on, to lure them into your plan.

The shuffling sounds came up again, and you were ready. You waited for them to casually open the door, like they had been doing so recently, as you let your eyes adjust to the change in light. They were chatting as if it were just a Tuesday, while you let yourself sprint to the door, pushing through the armed guards. They had forgotten you were a trained Hunter, apparently. Because you managed to pull one of their guns and shoot the other point blank.

The one whose weapon you had confiscated had fallen to the ground and to be sure he wouldn't follow, you shot him in the leg. You made a run for the stairs, apparently you were deep underground. It explained the lack of windows and fresh air in the cell.

The stairs were narrow, so it made it difficult as more and more guards began to pour down to apprehend you, and you could only climb over so many grasping bodies as they struggled to hold you while their injuries otherwise incapacitated them. Before long you were forced to throw the empty gun aside and take things head-on. You punched and bit and kicked your way as far as you could, every ounce of your being put into surviving and escaping. But before long you were dragged down and pinned to the stairs, a boot holding you firmly in place by the center of your back.

The man with the piercing eyes chuckled darkly. “I see you have more fight in you than we had thought...I like that.” He pulled your head up by your hair, at least what was left of it, and forced you to look at his other boot. “Lick it, peasant.”

You blacked out from exhaustion before you could do anything, and he tsked angrily. “Fucking bitch...she shot so many of these idiots. Now I have to clean this up.” He turned to those of his men who were still standing or able to stand, and began barking orders. “Carry out the wounded, shoot those who won't make it, and put her back in the cell. This time...I won't let her keep this worthless hope she keeps clinging to. I will take her tonight, and break her.”

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

It had been months now, and Rafayel was wallowing in the abyss of life without you again. But this time was different. You had been ripped from him and he couldn't even find your body to bury. Every day he prayed you were alive, but then cursed himself for it, knowing if you were, you were most likely suffering.

The day had come, and he was burying his face in a hoodie you had accidentally left in his studio one time, sobbing uncontrollably as his phone kept ringing in the background. He ignored it, Thomas' frantic motions against the drowning undercurrent of Rafayel's soul would never be enough to save either of them.

So when he felt your presence, he bolted upright, tears staining his otherwise beautiful but now gaunt face, and he stared in the direction of where he felt you. He had checked there. Many times, in fact. He had suspected you were in the N109 zone, but how you had eluded him for so long, he had no clue. But now you were somewhere he could find you. And he would be damned by the ocean once more if he let this chance slip by.

His flashy sports car was in need of a wash, and so was he, but he hopped in, before speeding off to reach your location all the faster, once again a demon behind the wheel.

But no sooner had he gotten oriented enough to know which road to take, you vanished again. But he suspected you were in that general vicinity, and wasted no time to get to his usual spot where he could enter the zone without interference.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

You were reshackled and struggling to breathe as the man with the piercing eyes was holding you by your throat so that you were partly suspended in the air. Your eyes were squeezed shut. Your escape attempt had failed, and now you knew the final thing that could be taken from you, aside from your life, would be ripped from your body forever.

Tears sprang to life in the corners of your eyes as you imagined Rafayel finding your body after all of this, somehow, and how it would break him. You couldn't give in, but despair was gripping your heart harder than the man currently holding your neck.

“I'm going to break you in so my men can each have a turn. After your little stunt, a lot of them need some comfort and closure from what you did.” Your eyes shot open, and you glared up at him with all the defiance you could muster. And it was greater than the will of the Gods themselves, as the man actually stilled for a moment in shock.

His composure resumed quickly, and he took off his mask to reveal a sinister, toothy grin on what might have once upon a time been a handsome face. There were scars and an obviously previously broken nose, but seeing the rest of his face only steeled your resolve. If he wanted to break you, you would put up the fight of your life.

So when the door opened slowly, the faintly brighter light from outside peeking in to drape across a shadowy figure, he snapped up to yell at whoever it was. “Don't you know I'm busy in here?! Wait your turn, ya filthy fucker!” He dropped you to go push the figure outside and shut the door, but before he could reach a hand out to touch the shadow before you both, his hand was sliced off in a blur.

He paused, taking a moment to process what had happened in a fraction of a second. Then he screamed. That's when the shadow stepped into the light filling the cell, and your eyes adjusted enough to see him.

It was Rafayel, covered in soot and blood, a dagger held in his delicate hand as he stared down the man shouting about his hand that was now laying on the floor, blood draining down to the center of the cell, where a drainage grate resided underneath you. Your eyes welled with tears as you stared in shock. He had found you.

Finally. He was here.

His eyes snapped to you, the look of murderous intent softening before he looked over your frail figure. Clearly they were starving you slowly, and all the scarring and blood, filth, everything that they had done to you, rushed into his mind before he snapped back to the man who had finally regained his senses enough to pull out a dagger.

Rafayel slit his throat and turned him to ash before he could so much as aim the thing. The dagger fell to the ground with a clatter, as well as any other metallic accents to his clothes. You gasped as Rafayel's eyes nearly glowed with hate. He would never forgive anyone who so much as glanced upon you in this state. But when he was done, he swiftly softened, his hands finding the shackles and unlocking them in one smooth motion before you register what's going on.

You manage a hoarse, quiet whisper of his name. “Rafayel...” He softly shushes you and picks you up gently, holding you close against his chest as your thin frame drapes across his arms. “You're okay...I've got you, y/n.” You smile, for the first time in a millennia. It hurts so much to smile, and the tears sting your wounds, but you can't stop it. And before long, you're blacking out as Rafayel ascends the stairs slowly, being sure not to jostle you while he tries to still his heart.

It ached so much to see you in this state, but it brought him so much exuberant joy to see you at least still alive. You drew breath, and that meant he could hold your warm hand again, and slowly help you regain your footing after this harrowing experience.

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

He took you to your friend Zayne, since he was a doctor, before anyone else. Xavier was soon notified, and before long you were in your own VIP hospital room. Rafayel never left, even when you were being stripped naked and washed down carefully, and even Zayne had to look away with a blush. Rafayel kept watch, and nearly hissed at a nurse who tried to shoo him out of the ICU room.

Zayne had asked all the staff attending to you to be very careful, and even warned them that Rafayel might not cooperate if asked to leave the room. He had acquiesced to the fact that the purple haired man was going nowhere. Which he secretly couldn't blame him. He remembers the night you were admitted.

When you had been carried into the hospital by Rafayel, Zayne stood still in his tracks when he glanced up to find you looking half dead in his arms. Zayne shouted orders louder and faster than ever, and before long Rafayel was following a gurney into an operating room, despite many personnel pushing against him. He was firm, and unrelenting, so Zayne sighed and made him clean up and put on scrubs to stay sterile.

Rafayel silently watched over the surgery, his eyes looked like he was making a prayer to the last God or Goddess still listening, and asking for the only wish he would ever ask again.

That was a week ago.

You were looked after, and whenever he could, Rafayel held your hand. His sharp eyes kept staring into your soul, praying, willing you to wake once more. He kept his focus on you, unless a nurse came in with a new IV bag, a new drug, then he became vigilant to ensure it was safe. Zayne had given up on assuring him that he would never do you harm, because Rafayel nearly interrogated every nurse that came into the room, even to check your temperature.

But he finally relented to his situation, when he demanded Xavier keep watch while he passed out in the chair next to you, hand still holding yours. Zayne also stood vigil whenever he could spare the time, and a rotating shift of sorts came into being while you were unconscious.

A nurse had taken pity on your hair, as it had been pulled out in places, and shorn in others to shame you. She had done her best to wash it and trim it so that it would look better than it had been (she made sure to do it while Zayne was taking a shift, so she wouldn't have to fight a certain someone over it). Another nurse would bring food for whoever was on shift, though it was usually barely touched. Rafayel especially couldn't bring himself to eat, except when he collapsed once or twice, and Zayne pointed out how guilty you would feel knowing he was starving himself to death.

So after a great deal of staring down from Zayne and Xavier collectively, Rafayel conceded and ate some food. But he never left the room, even then. He thought the food was disgusting, and could barely swallow. But he willed himself to do it, for your sake.

Another week passed, and you were finally making stirrings. Your hand flexed a little in Rafayel's grip, and he sat straight up in that same moment, light returning to his dulled eyes, the numb restless sleep escaping from his form. You stirred, making a groan as the morphine had worn off. “Nnnnh...” Rafayel had to resist tightening his grip on your hand, as your poor fingers had been broken when punching a guard in the dick. If he had known that fact, he would be so proud of you, broken fingers and all.

He hit the nurse call button immediately, and started to shush you as you struggled slightly. “Shhh...y/n, you're safe. You're at the hospital. It's me, Rafayel...I promise...you're okay now...” You heard his voice over the high pitched tinnitus piercing your senses, and you sighed, settling back into the bed as you could barely move anyways. You tried to turn your head to look at him, but your muscles ached even doing that. “It's okay, I'm right here.” He squeezed your palm gently to let you know it was true. “I'm not going anywhere, okay?”

Zayne was notified upon Rafayel's press of the nurse call button, and came rushing in within a few minutes, despite being on the other side of the hospital. He was panting as Rafayel was talking softly to you, as your eyes began to close again. “Did she wake up? Did she say anything?” Rafayel nods then shakes his head, as he strokes your cheek through the bandages, as you fall back into your slumber, this time your muscles relax and you let yourself drift into a dream, instead of the never ending nightmares from before.

It took another two days before you woke up again, but this time you were more coherent, and you managed to sit up with the assistance of the adjustable bed. You stared at Rafayel for a long time before a whisper managed to escape your lips. “...you found me...” Rafayel almost didn't hear you, but he gave you the saddest smile upon realizing your words. “I did...I'm sorry it took me so long...” You tried to shake your head, but it was too much, so you just whispered. “No...you made it just in time...thank you...”

Your voice was hoarse and weak, but your once tight and guarded heart now relaxed and relished in the affection as Rafayel still held your hand, and gently brushed the hair out of your face, or caressed your cheek to comfort you, and many other tiny gestures that melted your heart as he whispered soft words to you. “You're going to be okay, y/n...Zayne is here, and Xavier will be in soon too...everyone missed you so much...” He looks down at his hand holding yours for a moment before he lets out a soft whisper you almost don't hear. “...especially me...”

You give another smile, although it hurts, it is genuine and happy. Hearing that somehow gives you confidence that you were right to trust him. He would never have done this to you, he would have never put you through hell like this just as some sick test. He clearly cared about you, how could you ever have thought those horrible things?

The nurse call button was pressed once more, and soon Zayne came rushing in, while Rafayel was texting Xavier with one hand to do his due diligence and let his new...I guess he'd call him a friend? Know what was going on. Zayne began to check on your wounds, checking every inch of you that he could to make sure you were mending.

“You seem to be doing better, y/n. Do you think you can manage some water?” A tiny nod from you prompts him to step out to hail a nurse, but there's already a crowd of them outside the door, and he sends one to get water for you. You glance at Rafayel as he just smiles warmly at you, his haunted face being pulled into a new expression for the first time in months. “...I want rose milk tea...” You let yourself smirk cheekily as Rafayel gives your hand a quick squeeze. “Soon, y/n...just wait until you can manage something more than water first, okay?” You nod a little and then turn your head slightly when a nurse brings in a pitcher of water, a glass, and a straw on a tray.

You have your first sip of water for the first time in what feels like forever, and you feel refreshed once more in that moment. The cool water slides down your throat and then sinks into your empty stomach, where it suddenly growls loudly in response. “O-oh...” Rafayel chuckles a little, and Zayne clears his throat. “You'll be able to eat solid foods soon, y/n. Just please be patient until we can take care of the bigger problems first.” You nod, and take another sip. You try to take a long, greedy sip, but Rafayel pulls the straw away.

“You're going to choke if you drink too fast...” He chides gently as you pout at him a little. But you understand, as you almost choke on the water you managed to get into your mouth.

Xavier comes in, panting, as he had to push past the mass of nursing staff and hospital personnel outside the door, and leans on the foot of the bed staring at you, mouth agape. “Y/n...you're awake!” You give him a small smile and nod. Your voice is still weak and rough, but you manage a teasing “...and still kicking.”

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

It had been a month since your first day awake, and you had been released from the hospital to your apartment yesterday. You had to hobble around with a cane, as you still suffered from muscular atrophy, and some serious fractures. Bone mending had come a long way since the need for casts or months of recover, but you still had to be careful while you puttered around your apartment, already bored out of your mind.

You got to catch up on some shows yesterday, but that started to bore you, and some of the darker elements brought you flashing back to your time in that cell again. So you'd turn off the tv and stare at the black screen's reflection of you, still thin, weak, and pale. The scars would fade with time, but you also figured it might make you look tougher to other Hunters, so you were almost proud of them.

Your phone buzzed against your thigh, as you looked down. It was Rafayel texting you.

Rafayel: Are you home?

Y/n: Yeah...I'm under house arrest for the foreseeable future...

Rafayel: Good. I'm outside, I can see your light on. Can you meet me at the door?

Y/n: Just wait, I can come unlock it

Before you have a chance to grab your cane, there comes a gentle knock at the door. You grin a little as you slowly make your way to the door, where Rafayel stands behind a large bouquet of...yellow dandelions? How did he know they were your favorite? And don't most people regard them as an annoying weed? You let out a gasp at the display before you. He was wearing his best suit, and had something behind his back, as he beamed a beautiful smile at you.

He had been with you at the hospital the entire time, but he had been eating more, resting more, and spoke more and more like himself once again. So you had watched him come back from the brink of an abyssal spiral into depression he might not have survived, while he watched you come back from the brink of death.

He handed the bouquet to you before gently guiding you back into your apartment. “Come on...I have a treat for you, y/n. I promise you'll love it...” Before you can say anything, he shuts the door behind him and goes to set a large bag of takeout on your small dining table. You let out a weak laugh, as it still aches to strain your ribs too much. But you smile at him as he sets out all the containers on the surface, going to grab some plates and utensils, as you slowly make your way to the chair nearest you.

“Rafayel, you didn't have to do all this...aren't you tired? You barely slept yesterday...”

Rafayel shakes his head adamantly, like a spoiled child being told they had to do something they didn't want to do. “I had to, y/n. If it's for you, nothing is too much...” You blush at his statement, having been reminded recently of the last text you had sent Rafayel before you were sure you were going to be killed.

“O-oh...by the way...Rafayel...y-you can disregard that text from before...y-y'know...that one...”

He stops what he's doing and strides over to you in two long steps. His eyes are piercing through your soul and deep into your heart, exposing every facet of you in a far more embarrassing way than simply baring your naked skin to him. He takes your free hand in both of his and gives your aching knuckles the softest of kisses. “I will never forget that text...” He whispers a breath over your knuckles. You blush more and try to pull it away reflexively. “A-ah...i-it's okay...” He shakes his head and holds your hand against his chest now. “No, y/n. It's not okay...I didn't find you before everything happened to you...” He takes a hand away from yours to gently stroke along your jaw and then run his thumb across your cheek.

“I love you, too, y/n.”

✧𖤐✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧𖤐 ✩

a/n: this kept me up all last night writing an outline on my phone, so if I didn't finish this I would be upset with myself haha

If you have any requests, please feel free to send an ask, I would love to hear them!

#love and deepspace #fanfic #love and deepspace rafayel #rafayel #xavier #zayne #torture #fluff #confessions #neer writes #please be gentle

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