#researching and making and doing things
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All I want in 2025 is to be able to move out
#partly for peace of mind#partly for self actualization#partly to not have to commute so far#but primarily so that I can have a space I can arrange however I want#to have an actual room to use as a sewing studio and not have it be the desk in my bedroom#it’s so hard to save up money on my current salary because 2/3 of it immediately goes to loan payments and bills#but I’m gonna do it somehow#all I want is a clean manufactured home in a trailer park within 30 minutes of the museum#manifesting#but also strategizing#sewing and experimental archaeology are what bring me the most joy#and that is what I want to build my future for#that is what I want to be doing#researching and making and doing things#and if I can get a place of my own that’ll be a big step towards that goal#especially because investing in a trailer home will make me feel more secure than renting#if most of my money is going to a monthly payment I’d rather it be for something I will actually own at some point#it’s just saving up for the down payment that’s card#but a trailer home will cost me about as much as my degree did and I’ve almost paid off those private loans#so I know that it is an achievable goal in the not too distant future#my private student loans are almost paid off then I’ll work on paying down my credit card balances#and my car payment is just background noise because when I’m driving 500 miles a week for work I’m glad I invested in a newer car#the car payment I’ve accepted will just be there for a couple more years#but the private student loans and credit cards I think I can take care of this year#and then I’ll be able to put more away each month#I think I’ve got 2 years max before I actually go insane if I can’t move out#though Lizzie Borden was 32 so that gives me 6 more years before reaching the point of homicide as a coping mechanism#a very normal and healthy thought to have
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Love and Obsession: The Tim Drake Way
part 2
Everyone in the Batfamily knows Tim Drake has… issues with boundaries. They’ve spent years trying to teach him what’s appropriate and what’s—well—deeply unsettling and completely invasive. To be fair, he’s learned. Mostly. He doesn’t stalk his family anymore (much), and he no longer pulls up files on every single person they talk to (okay, maybe just sometimes). But it’s progress.
But then Tim starts dating Danny Fenton. And, oh boy, a few screws come loose.
It starts small, as always. Just little things. Tim’s a detective, after all—background checks are second nature. Danny’s living in Gotham, and Gotham isn’t safe. So, really, what’s the harm in knowing a little more about Danny’s friends? And his professors? And maybe also his classmates? It’s just standard protocol. Okay?
“Tim, you’ve run a full dossier on my entire biology class?” Danny asks one day, laughing as he flips through a file on the coffee table. Tim shrugs. “What if one of them is dangerous?” “Pretty sure the most dangerous thing in that class is the midterm.”
Danny doesn’t think much of it. He’s a little flattered, even. Tim’s protective. It’s sweet.
But Tim’s mind doesn’t stop there. Danny’s too handsome. Too charming. What if someone tries to hurt him? What if someone tries to take him away? It’s not obsessive—it’s just concern. So, a tracker on Danny’s phone? Necessary. Cameras in his apartment? Standard. Monitoring his sleeping patterns and hangout spots? Logical.
Tim tells himself it’s love. And maybe a little insecurity.
“You have a tracker on his phone?” Dick asks, trying not to sound alarmed. Tim nods, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. “Of course. What if something happens to him?” “And the cameras?” “Safety.” “The background checks on his professors?” “Gotham U isn’t exactly known for its stellar staff, Dick.”
It doesn’t stop there. Tim knows everything. Danny’s eating habits, his favorite places to go when he’s stressed, his childhood allergies. Tim’s mapped out Danny’s entire life. He knows about Danny’s ghost powers too—of course he does. He’s Tim Drake. The moment he realized Danny was Phantom, it just… clicked.
Danny being half-ghost? That’s just one more reason to worry. Tim’s up late at night, watching for any signs of ectoplasmic interference. He tracks the energy spikes. He monitors Danny’s fights.
He doesn’t think Danny knows. He’s terrified of what will happen if he finds out.
But then he does.
One evening, Danny walks into Tim’s apartment and casually drops a folder on the table. Tim’s heart stops.
“What’s this?” Danny asks, raising an eyebrow. Tim swallows hard. “I… it’s just…” “You’ve been tracking me?” Danny opens the file, glancing through pages of surveillance reports, background checks, even analysis of his ectoplasmic energy. Tim feels like his world is about to shatter.
“I… I can explain,” Tim says, his voice tight. “I’m just… worried about you. You’re in danger all the time, and I—” Danny walks over, cupping Tim’s face in his hands. Tim braces for the worst.
But Danny just smiles. “Can I put a tracker on you too?”
Tim blinks. “What?” Danny kisses his cheek. “If you’re watching my back, it’s only fair I watch yours. I need to make sure you’re safe too.”
Tim stares at him, speechless. Danny doesn’t look scared. Or angry. He looks… fond. Like Tim’s obsessive tendencies aren’t a problem at all.
“I’ve never had someone care about me this much,” Danny says softly. “I trust you with my life, Tim. This? This just proves how serious you are.”
Tim thinks he’s just fallen deeper in love.
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The Batfamily? They’re worried.
Jason corners Tim in the cave. “Okay, so let me get this straight. You’ve got cameras in his apartment. You’ve mapped out his entire life. You’ve got a tracker on him and a heartbeat monitor. And he’s… fine with it?” Tim nods, a dreamy smile on his face. “Yeah. He even wants to put a tracker on me.” “That’s not… healthy, Tim,” Dick says carefully. “That’s—” “It’s mutual,” Tim interrupts. “We’re protecting each other.”
Bruce pinches the bridge of his nose. “Tim, this isn’t how relationships are supposed to work.” Tim shrugs. “It’s how ours works.”
Damian watches the whole thing with narrowed eyes. “This is deeply unsettling,” he mutters.
They try to talk to Danny. Intervention style. They invite him over, sit him down, and gently (or not so gently) try to explain that Tim’s behavior isn’t normal.
Danny just laughs. “You guys do know I’m half-ghost, right?” “That doesn’t mean—” Dick starts. “I spent my entire life being hunted by ghost hunters. I’ve had worse invasions of privacy.” Danny smiles. “Tim cares. He keeps me safe. That’s all I need.”
The bats don't quite know what to say.
-------------------
Tim and Danny, two slightly unhinged souls who think mutual surveillance is the ultimate act of love.
The bats? They’re just trying to keep up.
(“At least they’re happy?” Barbara offers weakly. Bruce sighs. “For now.”)
Gotham’s version of love was never going to be normal. But this? This is a whole new level.
#tim drake#danny phantom#danny fenton#brain dead#dead tired#dc x dp#batfam#tim drake is a stalker#we've completely watered down tim's stalking tendencies into /just/ stalking when he also learned everything there was to learn about batma#this guy is literally obsessed with knowing everything about everyone(even if it's to have the upper hand) and we completely disregard it#give me an invasive tim drake who doesn't know the first thing about boundaries bcs he's so used to researching everything about someone#before meeting them#also give me a danny fenton who has never truly felt safe or protected with anyone especially after he died in his own parents lab#while his friends watched with no supervision or lab precautions#tim learning everything about him for his own safety and protective(obsessive) tendencies makes him feel safe with tim#bcs it proves to him that tim is always watching his every step to make sure he's safe no matter where in the world either of them are#tim is always watching out for him#and if that isn't the most romantic thing someone could do for him then romance is dead#the bats are very concerned for them#tim and danny match each other's freak
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Stargazing, at the edge of the unknown.
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#wen qing#wen ning#animation#This was another fun experiment that I learned a lot from B*)#I think that stargazing was something WWX probably took for granted in his first life.#Namely that - despite seeming like the carefree type - he probably didn't have the patience for it.#Why look at the sky when there are so many other things to do at night? It's not like the stars are going anywhere after all.#And when he's in yiling...well he has far to much to do inside his cave or on night hunts to look up at the boring dots.#He's a moon guy - but only so far as 'is the moon phase bright enough to read under tonight? is is dark enough to sneak around?'#It's probably only after the end of untangling the web of secrets and murders in his second life -#-that he realizes the beauty in just...taking a moment and taking in the sky with someone by your side.#Luckily for him the high altitude and cold air of a certain cloud recess makes for excellent start gazing conditions.#Wen Qing would be in the know on what the constellations are. Almost entirely because Wen Ning kept asking her.#As an older sibling you can A) Lie or B) Delve deep into research to claim your throne of 'the knower'.#I have knowledge about many things because I craved being 'the knower' as a youth. Now I don't know anything ever.
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also the english are weird about folk culture. we are. we've relegated our folk dances and music to the zone of esoteric nerd shit that only weirdos do, and then we go looking for esoterica in the non-english parts of our heritage because we don't think we've got any of it of our own
#i'm not saying everyone who wants to do family history research should have to do compulsory morris dancing classes first#but like. it probably wouldn't make things worse. and it would be funny#for legal reasons this is a joke.
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#isolated stargazer au#isat#isat au#bonnie#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#in stars and time#imagine sif slipped the wooden carvin into his sleeves yguuyguy#i need to make more comics of them cause their slowburn friendship is so nice to me#though my goal is to do a comic of the researcher with each family member#we will see...#all things considered i like how this comic turned out
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DID ONE OF MY OG ELIAS IDEAS.
I couldn't get this diagram out of my head.
Institute Director!Elias' horrid mannequin eyes were extremely difficult to get into the exact most upsetting position, but I think I accomplished it in the end.
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#the magnus archives#tma#elias bouchard#elias bitchard#tma fanart#tma art#og elias bouchard#og!elias#original elias bouchard#character design#this is definitely the same guy#all of these things come with a change of authority#bureaucracy doing its thing#elias from research would whimper#i don't make the rules#Spotify
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doodled your little guys!!! I have so many thoughts about them. As someone who lives in Italy it has been absolutely wonderful seeing your characters express the country's culture and history!!! It's not often that I see characters be based off Italian history in such an artistic manner.. But that might be me living under a rock, LOL. Anyhow, keep doing what you do, YOU ROCK!!!!
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#aaa you're too sweet! ;_;#and the art!!#I don't know what you did but I love the way they look in your style#they seem so expressive and alive and your linework has such wonderful almost animated fluidity to it#that swooping line from the tip of Machete's ear to his cheek fluff? such a shape#their faces are priceless#Vasco's little blep and Machete's blush and squiggly mouth#thank you so much! you've warmed my heart#gift art#limelemonchi#Vasco#Machete#own characters#it genuinely means a lot to me when someone from Italy says they like my dogs#I'm Finnish so I'm never going to have the insider experience and the full picture of someone who lives there#and sometimes it really worries me like what if I get things wrong and I'm not only embarrassing myself#but also disappointing people who thought I do my research well#but I'm doing my best and I always welcome feedback and tips to make the setting more believable if you want to give them#whether it's the original canon or the modern au#I mean it when I say the history and culture of Italy are extraordinarily rich and interesting#I've been reading about them long before these two came to be#it's a meeting spot for many of my special interests some of which I've had since I was a preschooler
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Ref sheet of OCs made specifically for Art Fight. I love how it turned out
[Image Description in the Alt Text and under the cut]
[Image description: A digital drawing showing 2 characters; one tall human man and one small alien-looking creature.
The man has tan skin, short wild hair, glasses, a white shirt over a green turtleneck, purple pants, and has a cane at his side. The alien creature is chubby, pink with lime-green accents, has big eyes with round eyelashes, and has a big slime blob as a tail. They are both drawn standing, holding hands.
There is text saying "The researcher + The subject", as well as "The subject's size changes depending on the weather of the environment: it gets bigger in humid environments, and smaller in dry ones."
Through the rest of the drawing are doodles, messy sketches of the two characters in various situations. End ID]
#art hack always add random pngs to your art and treat it like scrapbooking#slap a paper texture and overlay some color on that thang#my favourite thing to do. it also makes krita slower and the file heavier in 1 second ! ����#itchyballsart#artist on tumblr#oc#original characters#oc art#they DONT have names yet and i fear they never will#they are to be referred to as “the researcher” and “the subject” only
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I think a part of ART that is so underrated by the fandom sometimes is how much affection it shows for the people it loves. It's big and intimidating and mean sometimes and has no sense of proportionate retribution, but it's also very open about how much it loves its crew and Murderbot. It's not really just a hair-trigger angry ship, it's deeply protective of the people it houses in its hull.
And I wonder how much of that is informed by, or contributes to, the fact that it's a research transport that also goes directly into corporate territory and it and its crew protect and shuttle slaves and indentured servants and other disenfranchised people out.
And to do something like that, it's no wonder that it's so willing to take down anything that challenges it.
I mean. Imagine if your job was to protect your humans and you lived in a universe where everything is being slowly eaten by massively imperialistic mega-corporations who want you and everything you stand for wiped off the face of existence. You have to learn how to Fight the Hell Back.
#murderbot#tmbd#the murderbot diaries#murderbot diaries#perihelion#asshole research transport#art murderbot#this is an 11 pm post sorry i might make a more in depth version later with like. researched parts im posting from memory. at 11#like yes haha ART's an asshole funny yes BUT. when you're doing things like THAT and you have all the personality subtlety of a rhino#you HAVE to lean into the violence. if you get spotted you have to keep yourself from being killed. and sometimes that means#you have to bare your teeth first#guys i really like ART can you tell
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i like this edit better and i’m using it as my pfp now
#so i learned a new thing about green eyes yesterday#they’re the only eye colour to change based on light and weather#apparently they can go to either brown or blue depending#because having green eyes is technically a birth defect and they shouldn’t exist#i only saw it on a reel so i have to do more research obviously#but i thought that was neat#because i didn’t edit my eyes here but they look really blue#and now it totally makes sense#fun useless facts with kiki#<< i should make this an actual tag#cuz im choc full of useless facts#kiki
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Donald Trump did 96 rallies in 2024
CNN aired only 1 Live
Butler, Pennsylvania... What are the odds? 🤔
#pay attention#educate yourselves#educate yourself#reeducate yourselves#knowledge is power#reeducate yourself#think about it#think for yourselves#think for yourself#do your homework#do your research#do your own research#do some research#ask yourself questions#question everything#government secrets#government lies#government corruption#truth be told#evil lives here#lies exposed#what are the odds#news#coincidence#crazy#weird#stranger than fiction#things that make you go hmmmm#funny not funny#how did that happen
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new zine about asexual history! this one's been rattling around my head for awhile
#asexual#asexuality#ace#zine#lgbtq#lgbt#pride#asexual pride#asexual history#mini zine#theartofmadeline#ive been wanting to do this one for awhilllllle#i love researching things teehee#there's obviously more accounts about the word asexual being used#especially in the 70s-90s#but this is an educational zine not a research paper#not sure if i'll print this one (digest size) but maybe??#zine making#zinester
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Claustrophobia as a Metaphor for Hans' Feelings for Henry
All right. I'm ready to go full tinfoil hat here but I have a theory, y'all. And there is a lot of evidence to back it up even if you decide I'm off my rocker for most of it:
I think Hans' claustrophobia exists in parallel to his feelings and, more importantly, how Hans feels about his feelings for Henry.
We first get the hint that Hans is claustrophobic when he and Henry get tossed into the dungeon at Trosky:
This is immediately post-divorce era. The boys haven't quite yet made up and Hans has gotten his first taste of what life is like without Henry. He did not care for it, and that realization comes alongside an incredibly unexpected vulnerability that Hans is not used to and has not had to deal with before.
The threat of losing Henry before was of course something he could conceive of before, most recently following Henry's ~terrible fall, but that would have been losing him in the abstract. If he lost Henry because of their fight, that would be (at least in his eyes), 100% his fault, at least in part because-- as you'll recall-- Henry was ready to make up literally the next morning. Earlier, even, if you watch the way he tries to look at Hans while Hans is stubbornly staring away as if to keep from being persuaded by Henry's puppy dog eyes.
The divorce era presented a different sort of loss, namely losing Henry not because of God's will, but because of his own stubborn pride. He got Henry back after, but the risk was there and it's only after getting him back that the full weight of what he almost lost hits him. At the beginning, when he's still panicking in the cell, he's still in what he perceives to be the proverbial doghouse, and he promptly follows this up by eating crow and apologizing to Henry for being an asshole.
Panic abated.
Until Henry is taken away from him, of course, and the walls truly start closing in. I have to really commend the creative direction of this scene in particular because that zoom out + transition to a Dutch angle is so fucking haunting in this scene while we watch Hans clearly trying not to have a full breakdown. It really induces the feeling of claustrophobia even if a person doesn't suffer from it themselves.

Henry was taken away from him, and as far as he knows, he might never see him again. No wonder the walls start closing in on him.
After that, things return to normal. No bad claustrophobia concerns for some time, incidentally. Henry is there, and his feelings regarding Henry are completely logical and rational. What a good friend Henry is!
The next time we see Hans' claustrophobia flare up is after Nebakov is hit by the Finger of God/bombard. Hans is trapped under a beam and is (understandably) freaking the fuck out. We also know from his dialogue later on that this scene magnified his claustrophobia even more than it was before.
What's notable, however, is that Henry at this point is barely conscious and isn't responding to Hans. As far as he knows, Henry isn't alive. That bombard could have easily killed any/all of them and tbh it's kind of a miracle that it didn't. Never mind that after his brief foray into consciousness, Henry is promptly hit by a full-length ceiling beam and (presumably, logically) knocked the fuck out. Meanwhile Hans is being crushed by his own fear of his feelings.
We obviously don't know what happens between the time of the tower's destruction and the scene in the cart after, but we do know that Henry was woken up at dawn to the commotion and by the time they get done being tortured, it's very late at night. So presumably Henry was out cold for a while there. Not only are the walls closing in on Hans here, they're literally crushing him. The fear of losing Henry is more present than ever.
And to make matters worse, he has no idea when or even if he's ever going to see Henry again. Henry has no value as a hostage. He could easily be simply disposed of without a second thought.
Henry could die, and it would, in Hans' eyes, be all his fault. At this point his feelings on the matter are guilt and a tremendous amount of self-pity (as we later learn from Brabant). As if to coincide with Hans being confronted with his feelings regarding Henry and the loss of him at this point and time, he ends up stuck in his gilded cage at Maleshov.
Once again, the walls are closing in.
We learn about how he felt about this only later when we chat with him at the Devil's Den:
The big problem with the room, Hans explains, was simply that he couldn't leave.
If we bear in mind the claustrophobia : confrontation of feelings metaphor here, this makes sense. Henry could be dead. He could have been tortured. He could still be in captivity. Hell, depending on how you play Henry being tortured, he even tells the torturer to just go ahead and fucking kill him because he's not talking. Henry was ready to die.
Hans knows Henry. Extremely well. He knows that Henry has some truly insane principles that he will stick to no matter what. There's no doubt in my mind that Hans probably knows there is a good chance that Henry doesn't make it through this. And he's confronted with all of these feelings over an extended period of time where he gets to sit and spin.
In light of that, I think it's interesting that he calls it a hole, because I would never use a word like that to describe what is effectively a fancy hotel room. But figuratively speaking, of course it's a hole for him. He's despairing. He needs Henry in his life and there's nothing he can do to get to him or to save him. He can't leave.
And then, of course, Henry shows up after all. No wonder Hans looks so unbelievably elated to see him. Of course, this is when Henry brings up the secret passageway. Hans is told that he can leave this enclosed space for another, even tighter enclosed space!
Now, if you pick the correct dialogue option here and tell him that you'll make it through, together, Hans of course discloses that the shit about how it's not ~chivalrous was bullshit and that it's because he might endanger him:
He just spent the last x amount of time (depending on how long you had Henry dilly-dallying around Kuttenberg and its environs) trapped here and steeped in his feelings regarding Henry. The fear of losing him is at the top of this list. To Hans, going into that passageway could also make him lose Henry. And it would be his fault. Again.
There's also something to be said here about close quarters. If we're to return here to the metaphors, then those close quarters force Hans to confront his feelings for Henry. Henry even says it himself back when they're in the Trosky dungeon together:
From there, it's on to Raborsch. Which is where things get very interesting.
Hans is told that he's going to be getting married. Much like in the Trosky dungeon, we get that zoom (albeit in the other direction this time) and then his POV. The way time seems to slow, the wobble of the camera... being something of a panic attack haver myself, this is exactly what it feels like. It is honestly impressive how well they mimic the feeling of it. And the way it's executed almost makes it look as though the room is shrinking.
This is my own personal headcanon that will probably not be shared by most people, but I think this is the moment that Hans realizes that he's in love with Henry. It would make sense for him to feel faint and like the walls are closing in on him in that moment.
It's also the worst possible moment for him to realize.
And then he proceeds to try and shove those feelings aside and repress them as best as possible. Nevermind that yet again Henry isn't there to help support him.
There was a wonderful post going around the other day about why Hans' responses to the romantic dialogue options Henry chooses sound so platonic. Because... yeah. He's holding that shit in TIGHT. He is on LOCKDOWN.
And we see that reflected in where he chooses to place himself physically after that point!!!!
After the announcement, Godwin can find him outside on the balcony getting absolutely hammered and talking to Rabbi Jehuda.
Even at the Devil's Den, where he's objectively free, he feels... crowded. Like the walls are closing in on him:
No fucking wonder. If he just realized that he's in love with Henry, then at this point in the story he's still trying real hard to repress that shit. Hans is erecting these walls himself as if he's trying to choke these feelings out of him. It also makes sense why he's constantly going out to get away from this confrontation of feelings as much as possible, riding out whenever he can:
Even in the group meeting with the Devil's gang, he says this:
Now it's the whole tavern! Anywhere that has walls and a roof is choking the life out of him! And of course here Henry is suddenly fucking everywhere.
When talking to him about the rides he goes on in the surrounding areas, this line of inquiry leads him to ask if he's fucking poaching again, and Hans comes back by saying this:
Allow me to just say.
And I cannot stress this enough.
He did not need to tell Henry that.
Henry tells him as much, but it feels fairly obvious that this was said with intent. It's like he's trying to reinforce his own heterosexuality to both him and Henry.
I would also like to highlight here that to Hans, it's always outside that this heterosexuality occurs. Even at the baths those hookups are merely in tents. The girl from Bohunowitz he found in (or near) a hunter's camp in the forest.
So we see a pretty direct correlation here. The inside of pretty much any building (or passageway) that also contains Henry or the Absence of Henry (in the abstract) is profoundly unsafe. This is the space where feelings always seem to happen and where Realizations™️ occur.
So! The outside is safe! Nothing can get him there, not even his feelings for Henry!
It's interesting, then, that Hans decides to invite Henry into that very space not long after:
Even in the space Hans uses as an escape (including as an escape from Henry), he still wants Henry there. Much as I discussed in this post, Hans views hunting with Henry in this scene as an escape into the past. Pre-betrothal, pre-feelings. A simpler time and a return to normalcy.
Naturally, he has to counteract Henry's presence in the Comphet space by bringing up as much heterosexuality as possible:
He brings this up regardless of how you respond.
Depending on your dialogue choices, you then learn that the girl from Bohunowitz is named Karolina. (Tbh if I didn't know better, I'd assume she was fucking made up seeing as she shares a name with the same girl he was running after in The Amorous Adventures of Bold Sir Hans Capon and there is no such girl to be found in Bohunowitz.)
Regardless of whether you chose to tease him or grumble about his womanizing, Henry makes it pretty clear that he doesn't want to hear about it. He says something similar as well earlier, when Hans says that the girl from Bohunowitz (who may or may not be made up) gave him a ~ride:
Hans quickly changes the subject, but Henry keeps them on topic and brings it up again, effectively asking him if these wenches are more important to him than he is:
(Tbh it's pretty fucking obvious from these interactions that Henry is already feeling quite a lot here and is looking for validation from Hans... which Hans then, perhaps unwittingly, provides. Maybe he just can't help himself. The truth slips through the cracks.)
Hans immediately reassures him, of course:
At which point it's Henry's turn to brush him off and put some distance between them again.
Distance which Hans immediately closes up again...
... only to freak out and instantly backpedal.
The assault on Maleshov really hammers this connection home, where even outside, he can't run from his fear.
In this case, because the Finger of God fires and hits the fortress walls.
Hans falls back and just... stares.
And just stays there for a while. For long enough, in fact, that Henry and Godwin have to come help him up.

Henry, in this instance, is both the problem and the solution: all Hans has to do is accept the fact that he's in love with him—with a little help from Henry.
And then we get to the Italian Job. Hooo boy.
It does not escape my attention that these two dialogue options come up in the same conversation, one of which of course leads to a romance choice:
Henry tries to insist on how much he enjoys Hans' company only for Hans to brush him off. Quite substantially. Like if I was Henry I'd be fucking gutted or at the very least baffled that my friend could be that obtuse when I'm over here dropping all these hints.
And then, of course, Hans promptly panics again when Henry brings up the underground passage and asks if he's joining him in going through it (almost as if those two bits of panic are related).
He even brings up societal judgment! But I think it's that last one that carries by far the most weight. He's still looking for any possible way out that he can find and asking for validation from Henry while he's doing it. Which is asking quite a lot of Henry imo.
Of course, then he suddenly doesn't have a choice anymore. Which is also where Hans actually comes to terms with his feelings. He has to go through the passageway. There's no choice. The walls are closing in and he has to accept it or he'll go insane if he keeps repressing any of this any longer. The narrative is practically telling him: you can't run from this anymore. His feelings for Henry are real and they're right in front of him and they're not this terrifying thing that he's been running from all this time.
Katherine tells Henry that Hans was trailing behind Godwin and her "like a dazed sheep" and that she hopes he didn't get lost.
The good news is that he didn't. Instead, quite the opposite happened: he finally found his way to accepting how he feels.
And when he does, he finds that he's no longer afraid of them. Suddenly, as if out of nowhere, confronting his fears meant that they're not nearly as terrifying anymore.
Again, Henry asks if he's really all right, and Hans insists that he's never been better. No fucking wonder. This was a come-to-Jesus moment if ever I saw one.
And then he checks on Henry. All this time, he's been looking at his own fear, stuck in this, quite frankly, closet, and not thinking about how Henry has been feeling.
Even so, Henry is worried. At which point Hans gets to reassure him that, no, he's all right. In fact, the one holding him back and hurting him most in all of this has been none other than himself. If anything, Henry has been encouraging all this time. He does his job well. And that includes loving Hans.
Henry suggests that he overcame his fear, and Hans insists that no, that's not quite it.
Which makes sense. You don't just overcome your fears by facing them. Certainly not something like claustrophobia. It's also unlikely that an actual miracle occurred here. If you listen for his idle talk before or after this conversation, even Hans is absolutely baffled that he just... overcame his fear. Just like that.
To me, that suggests that this is about something else entirely, and not tight, enclosed spaces at all. He's always been afraid to face this part of himself.
In fact, if we recall what happened during their successful siege on Maleshov, Hans fell and couldn't recover without aid. Here, he fell and got himself up again because... it didn't kill him. It's okay to have—wait for it—fallen in love with Henry.
Is this a stretch? Maybe. But the fact that it happens twice makes me think that it was done with intent.
(If I wanted to bring in a real stretch here, I'd suggest that there's meaning behind the fact that Hans helps Henry up to his feet several times, first after his terrible fall at the beginning, while they're walking to Bozhena's, and again after he's on the floor getting kicked at the Semine wedding. If this was meant to be a hint as to where Henry realized that he was in love with Hans, having lost him first almost to death and then again to the divorce arc, it wouldn't surprise me tbh. He fell, and Hans was there to be his solution—the only difference is that Henry wouldn't have had a problem accepting it the way that Hans did. But, like I said, this one is a stretch.)
All of which brings us to the second confession.
Henry tried telling him this same exact thing before, after nearly losing him to the noose and their temporary split. Now he's saying this exact same thing again. Which feels... pointed and frankly intentional.
And this time, Hans responds in kind. He also cares about Henry. He's just really bad at showing it sometimes.
Because of course he's bad at it. He's spent the whole game thus far stuck in a closet of claustrophobia battling against his own internally homophobic demons.
But his success in a) escaping that closet and b) battling those demons brings us to the promised land.
Where they fuck in a (relatively, considering Hans' fear from before) small room and with Hans underneath Henry, the safest ceiling to come (down) on him of them all ♥
#hansry#kcd#kingdom come deliverance#hans capon#henry of skalitz#kcd meta#kcd2 spoilers#I'M SORRY THIS GOT SO FUCKING LONG#should've been working on researching medieval gays (dissertation) instead of doing research on medieval gays (kcd) but here we are#I literally played through the whole game again just to compile this fucking thing#weeks have gone into this!!#well okay no I was about three quarters through my replay of the game when this hit me and I had A Revelation#as you can all see#I SWEAR it all makes sense and it isn't all just me donning a tinfoil duncecap#tfw tumblr was like you want to put HOW many fucking images into this post?? no#and I had to improvise#also I promise I didn't write up this whole post just to make a joke about come#anyway#I would say I have regrets but that would be a lie
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Ok confession, I have not been up to date on the @hemi-demi oathbreaker fic bc I have been so busy but I read through it a few days ago and AHHHDJSVDJSHBS DRAGON GERRY AHHHH
I love him so much. I am not ok
His clothes aren’t as easy to take of as Jon’s but I pretty sure Hemi said they are worse at maintaining their glamor than other dragons. So idk maybe he’s fine
#even in fantasy this bitch has a shit dye job#I love him so much#he is so chill#man is not paid enough to care and dosent have the same baggage to be as edgy#he is just a perfect fusion of tma and tmap Gerry#just the chill older cousin at thanksgiving#also be proud of me bc I was this close to going on a research rabbit hole#about medieval tattooing methods and I’d hair dye was a feasible thing#but then I needed to figure out if this was the early high or late age#and then I remembered none of this matters and it’s fantacy I can do what I want#I also really want to make a Michel dragon#there is no reason Michel would show up in outhbraker#i just think he’s neat#dragon au#dragon!gerard#gerard keay#tma#the magnus archives#tma fanart#if I draw Michel dragon I’m gonna give him kudu horns#and I’d you don’t know what kudu are look em up#i like em
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hope you feel better soon!
I am riddled with ailments, but I stay silly!
#ask#non mdzs#My health journey has been: Hernia -> acid reflux -> Vocal pain due to aforementioned reflux -> chest infection.#I'm terrified to know what's about to hit me next. Please let it be something kind. PLEASE.#The consequence of living with linguists is that you'll wake up with a wacked up voice -#suddenly you're sitting you down in front of a program called something like Praat having your shimmer and jitter levels calibrated.#They gave me a GRBAS of 33012. I have a fun thing called a pitch break where a whole octave just does not exist.#My vocal pain was bad enough I ended up seeing a speech pathologist and that whole experience was super neat!#I learnt a lot about voice - to be honest I might make a little comic on it after some more research. Fascinating stuff.#For example; your mental perception of our voice modulates the muscles of the vocal folds and larynx.#meaning that when you do have changes (inflammation = more mass = lower frequency)#your brain automatically attempts to correct it to what it 'should sound like'. Leading to a lot more vocal strain and damage!#And it gets really interesting for trans voice care as well - because the mental perception of one's voice isn't based on an existing sampl#So a good chunk of trans voice training is also done with the idea of finding one's voice and retraining the brain to accept it. Neat!#Parkinsonial Voice also has this perception to musculature link! The perception is that they are talking at a loud/normal volume#but the actual voice is quite breathy and weak. So vocal training works on practicing putting more effort into the voice#and retraining the brain to accept the 'loud' voice as 'normal'.#Isn't the human body fascinating?#Anyhow; Now I have vocal exercises and strategies to reduce strain and promote healing.#Which is a lot better than my previous strategy of yelling AAAH in my car until my 'voice smoothed out'.#You can imagine the horror on the speech path's face. I am an informed creature now.#I'm my own little lab rat now. I love learning and researching. Welcome to my tag lab. Class is dismissed.#I'll be back later with a few more answered asks </3 despite everything I'm still going to work and I need the extra sleep.#Thank you for the well wishes! And if you read all of that info dump; thank you for that as well!
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how do you come up with the ways cultures in your setting stylize people/animals/the world in general in their artwork, i.e. jewlery, rock carvings, statues, etc? Each culture in your world seems to have a very unique "art style" and I love it a lot - makes them seem that much more 'real'. This is something I struggle with a lot in my own worldbuilding and I'd love to pick your brain if possible 😁
I think a starting point is to have a research process based in the material realities of the culture you're designing for. Ask yourself questions like:
Where do they live? What's the climate/ecosystem(s) they are based in? What geographic features are present/absent?
What is their main subsistence method? (hunter gatherer, seasonal pastoralist, nomadic pastoralist, settled agriculturalist, a mix, etc)
What access to broader trade networks do they have and to whom? Are there foreign materials that will be easily accessible in trade and common in use, or valuable trade materials used sparingly in limited capacities?
Etc
And then do some research based on the answers, in order to get a sense of what materials they would have routine access to (ie dyes, metal, textiles, etc) and other possible variables that would shape how the art is made and what it's used for. This is just a foundational step and won't likely play much into designing a Style.
If you narrow these questions down very specifically, (ie in the context of the Korya post- grassland based mounted nomads, pastoralist and hunter-gatherer subsistence, access to wider trade networks and metals), you can direct your research to specific real world instances that fit this general idea. This is not to lift culturally specific concepts from the real world and slap them into your own setting, but to notice commonalities this lifestyle enforces - (ie in the previous example- mounted nomadic peoples are highly mobile and need to easily carry their wealth (often on clothing and tack) therefore small, elaborate decorative artwork that can easily be carried from place to place is a very likely feature)
For the details of the art itself, I come up with loose 'style guides' (usually just in my head) and go from there.
Here's some example questions for forming a style (some are more baseline than others)
Are geometric patterns favored? Organic patterns? Representative patterns (flowers, animals, stars, etc)? Abstract patterns?
Is there favored material(s)? Beads, bone, clay, metals, stones, etc.
When depicting people/animals, is realism favored? Heavy stylization? The emotional impression of an animal? Are key features accentuated?
How perspective typically executed? Does art attempt to capture 3d depth? Does it favor showing the whole body in 2 dimensions (ie much of Ancient Egyptian art, with the body shown in a mix of profile and forward facing perspective so all key attributes are shown)? Will limbs overlap? Are bodies shown static? In motion?
Does artwork of people attempt to beautify them? Does it favor the culture's conception of the ideal body?
Are there common visual motifs? Important symbols? Key subject matters?
What is the art used for? Are its functions aesthetic, tutelary, spiritual, magical? (Will often exist in combination, or have different examples for each purpose)
Who is represented? Is there interest in everyday people? Does art focus on glorifying warriors, heroes, kings?
Are there conventions for representing important figures? (IE gods/kings/etc being depicted larger than culturally lesser subjects)
Is there visual shorthand to depict objects/concepts that are difficult to execute with clarity (the sun, moon, water), or are invisible (wind, the soul), or have no physical component (speech)?
Etc
Deciding on answers to any of these questions will at least give you a unique baseline, and you can fill in the rest of the gaps and specify a style further until it is distinct. Many of these questions are not mutually exclusive, both in the sense of elements being combined (patterns with both geometric and organic elements) or a culture having multiple visual styles (3d art objects having unique features, religious artwork having its own conventions, etc).
Also when you're getting in depth, you should have cultural syncretism in mind. Cultures that routinely interact (whether this interaction is exchange or exploitation) inevitably exchange ideas, which can be especially visible in art. Doing research on how this synthesizing of ideas works in practice is very helpful- what is adopted or left out from an external influence, what is retained from an internal influence, what is unique to this synthesis, AND WHY. (I find Greco-Buddhist art really interesting, that's one of many such examples)
Looking at real world examples that fit your parameters can be helpful (ie if I've decided on geometric patterns in my 'style guide', I'll look at actual geometric patterns). And I strongly encourage trying to actually LEARN about what you're seeing. All art exists in a context, and having an understanding of how the context shapes art, how art does and doesn't relate to broader aspects of a society, etc, can help you when synthesizing your own.
#I have a solid baseline because I like learning about history so don't do this like. Full research process every time. It's just the gist#of what the core process is.#I think I've gotten a similar question about clothing in the past that I never answered (sorry) so yeah this applies to that as well#Though that involves a heavier preliminary research end (given there are substantially more practical concerns that shape the#making of clothing- material sources they have access to (plant textile? wool? hide? etc). The clothing's protective purpose (does#it need to protect from the sun? wind? mild cold? extreme cold?). Etc#Also involves establishing like. Beauty conventions. Gendered norms of dress. Modesty conventions. Etc#I think learning about the real world and different cultures across history is like. The absolute most important thing for good#worldbuilding. And this means LEARNING learning. Having the curiosity to learn the absolute myriad of Things People Do#and Why We Do Them and how we relate to shared aspects of our world. The commonalities and differences. I think this is like...#Foundational to having the ability to synthesize your own rather than just like. copy-pasting concepts at random
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