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linzsaw · 9 months

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2023: my year in review

1. What is the most important lesson you learned this year?

To allow myself to be in the spotlight, even if it makes myself and others uncomfortable.

2. What is the best thing that happened?

(Publically) marrying my soulmate.

3. What challenges did you overcome?

I learned to set boundaries and choose my peace over the possibility of hurting others, even if that meant I had to say goodbye to some friends.

4. What new skills did you learn?

Project management. lol

5. What did you do for your career growth?

Switched jobs, best decision ever. also started my own ugc business which has been really fun on the side.

6. What did you enjoy the most?

I hate a hate/love relationship with planning my wedding.

7. What was your favorite moment?

Its hard to choose. There was really nothing better than being surrounded by my soulmate and all our best friends/family in one place, though.

Also, my kitty recovering from a very scary health emergency.

8. How did you have fun?

I hugged elephants, I danced the night away at my wedding, I made homemade bread, I connected with nature in many ways, four-wheeled through a Thai jungle, I snowboarded, I sang at the top of my lungs with my bffs on a yacht. I mean... the fun times were actually endless.

9. What new habits did you start?

I worked out regularly the first half of the year and tracked my protein goals. Def need to restart these habits in 2024.

10. What are you the most proud of this year?

Pulling all of that off. Really proud of myself for honestly everything.

11. What did you learn about yourself?

I am capable of more than I could ever realize. All my manifestions come to fruition.

12. How did you live by your core values?

By never becoming complacent, always chasing my goals

13. How did your relationships (family, friends, work) evolve?

Talking things out that happened long ago in the past when I was struggling in life when in survival mode and thus hurting those around me. Having difficult convos with Drew about boundaries and financial goals for the future.

14. What was the best decision you took?

My WFH job

15. How did you fail?

Some of my UGC content wasn't great. It's a learning process.

16. What got in the way of your success?

My limiting beliefs. Not staying consistent with things.

17. What would you do differently if you could?

Stay consistent, be more organized with my routine.

18. How are you different than a year ago?

More fierce, authentic

19. What did you do for your physical and mental health?

Strength training, protein gains, & then switched to a cut so I could fit into my wedding dress lol. Mental health? Oh boy does she need some attention in 2024.

20. Who or what had the biggest impact on your life this year?

Being in the spotlight this year. I don't think I've ever attended to many events in my life that were directly related to people being there to support me. That was a wild experience and It was a bit uncomfy at times...

21. What did you let go of?

Friendships that were not serving.

22. What were the most useful resources you had?

Friends & fam

23. What are you thankful for this year?

Friends & fam

24. What did you leave unfinished?

Cleaning out my ENTIRE home.

25. What was the best compliment you received?

I feel like I only got compliments on my appearance which is kind of sad.

26. If you were to talk about this year like a story, how would you write it?

In a tumblr post

27. How do you describe this year in 3 to 5 keywords?

Adventure. Romance. Lux. Chaotic. Fun.

28. What energised you? what drained you?

Looking forward to events. Setting boundaries.

29. How kind were you to yourself?

For the most part yes.

30. What advice would you give your last-year self?

Don't let anyone make your moment about them.

#aesthetic #2023 #year in review

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soul-wanderer · 1 year

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Bones and All - book review (and movie comparison)

Let me preface this by saying that I watched the movie first, and I am somewhat glad I did, because if it had been the other way around, I might not have enjoyed the movie as much.

Reading the book, I actually did not expect a lot of surprises, but in the end, the plot twists that didn’t make it into the movie and the overall differences still managed to catch me off-guard, but not in an unpleasant way. I still slightly prefer the constellation of Maren living with her mum and her dad living, even though it seems like a more typical scenario at first. Still, the dynamic between Maren and her mum in the book is a lot more emotionally loaded and paints an almost tragic picture of a mother who feels obliged to care for her daughter, but who still doesn’t think twice when eventually abandoning her the night after her birthday, which is reinforced through the fact that she is hardly mentioned again, once Maren has found her, and that it is clear that she also made no attempts to see her daughter again, after moving in with her parents.

One of the most obvious changes from book to movie is the lack of diversity, which is not surprising, but it did make the movie slightly more enjoyable, but the book isn’t any “worse” just because the author wasn’t very creative about writing the characters.

(spoilers ahead in the following paragraph)

The fact that Sully turned out to be Maren’s grandfather did catch me off-guard, but I am still not sure if this twist actually added to the storyline, or if them leaving it out in the movie was a good idea. Because yes, it does add some meaning to why he is following Maren around, but I actually did get annoyed towards the end of the book, mainly because of the chaotic writing, which left me feeling unable to decipher his motives and felt like the author was desperately trying to attach meaning to his actions. In the movies, he is just portrayed as a lonely man, an outcast, who attaches himself to Maren, and for me that worked as an explanation. Sometimes it’s as simple as that.

Both the movie and the book require the suspension of disbelief, otherwise you will spend the entirety of the storyline wondering why some people are born as eaters, why society hasn’t caught onto them and how they could possibly eat entire human beings, especially in such a short amount of time. In short: It doesn’t make sense, but it isn’t supposed to make sense. It’s a metaphor, if you will, one that might be plain, but that still works, if you give it a chance.

What did bother me about the book a bit, was the sometimes almost jarring vocabulary, which, even though it seems impossible, at points felt more unsettling (not in a horror way) than the contents of this storyline. It’s always a bit annoying when different characters use a) the same vocabulary and b) the vocabulary does not match the mood. You can see that certain words were used in an attempt to evoke certain reactions, but it just didn’t work out. If anything, it felt like a teenager trying to describe too big of a concept, but failing in the process. On the other hand, the very reduced descriptions worked very, very well in other situations, meaning the author is in no way incapable of conveying certain emotions. In the end, it is not top-notch writing, but there’s still beautifully curated moments, which make reading this book worth it.

My main issue with the book: The final chapter. I read the chapter before that and half skipped past the last sentence, only to realize on the next page that I had missed something fundamental. The final chapter feels useless and takes away from how beautifully the chapter before that ends. Had the book ended on this final sentence, it would have been perfect, but we somehow still get this epilogue, that neither gives us hope, nor paints a terrible picture of Maren’s future. It doesn’t add to the story, really, and I wish someone had ripped out those pages before I had the chance to read them.

In the end, both the movie and the book, though the book a little more, raise questions about life and love and what makes us human and what keeps us going, without sensationalising the instrument the story uses to get its point across, and it’s exactly what it takes to keep the balance between typical young adult novel and pushing the limits of what we think is right and wrong.

#Bones and All #Camille DeAngelis #book #books #booklr #let me know what you think

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acollectionofneilsreveries · 1 month

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yap yap yap

Hi!

This is just one of the few documents I’m writing once again to process my emotions. Even before, writing has always been my company when my thoughts get loud. And in med school, there’s not a time when you’re not studying and if there were chances that you aren’t, it’s highly likely that you’re choosing to sleep to makeup for every sleepless night. But there are also times, when you get lucky enough, that you have a couple of hours to yourself. And this is one of those times (long weekend kasi, I have time).

So, a quick life update.

Life so far has been okay. I passed the boards. We’re #RMT2024! Grabe. It’s nice to actually put a closure to those four years I’ve spent in college. Looking back, I did enjoy my time. It was worthwhile and chaotic, to say the least. But, like any other life experiences, be it good or bad, it made me who I am today and I couldn’t imagine a version of me other than who I am today. Originally, the goal was to top the boards, but life happened. And sometimes, dreams get traded for something more precious. So, you can say that I hoped the stars would align for me but at the same time, I was quite scared that my dreams get realized, the deal I had with faith would get broken. And, I’d rather not top the boards than my other prayer not happening. It was bittersweet. But you can say, I wasn’t wholeheartedly desiring those dreams. Yes, I speak in codes and indirect phrases but, this letter is only really intended for me. I know future me would understand what I was referring to. But without that in mind, in taking the boards, I always believed that if it’s for you, then it is for you. Being a topnotcher in the boards was someone else’s story and that wasn’t for me. I am okay with that. A little sad with the fact, but I’m okay. Imagine juggling med school, sacrificing the only two months you have to be sane before the world of healthcare consumes your soul once again. Doing this to study for the boards, that’s already amazing as it is. And for that, I am proud of me. I am proud that I took the risk, I answered bravely and I admired how my faith never faltered as I took the boards. It was funny because I had a lot of mishaps prior to taking the boards, but all is fine now.

(Scrolled through tiktok for a couple of minutes. I started writing this because I was feeling kind of sad awhile ago, but I feel like writing did help and the tiktok fyp distracted me from those negative emotions that I now feel a little better. Actually Im okay now ulit.)

Okay, so this will have probably a different tone than what I was writing awhile ago because my emotions turned a complete 180. See. Writing does help.

Anyway, just to continue my story about boards, I’m happy that Im now an RMT. I just wish that I had more time to celebrate that win. Kaso wala eh, med school was already starting so the readings were piling up and the exams were lining up. Your fresh board passer, needs to review again. This time for the challenge that third year poses.

When it comes to med school, I am now in third year. And revalida is just two years away now. REVALIDA’s SCARY. SO, I think Im putting a little too much pressure on myself to digest everything. That sometimes, I forget to remind myself that I am only human, allowed to make mistakes and be a little slow sometimes. Hindi tayo leapmed student who was a brain speed that’s greater than the average person. But ayun, sab inga nila, if youre the smartest person in the room, then you’re in the wrong room. So okay lang at ana medyo mediocre tayo this time. There’s peace too in mediocrity. But of course, if you want to be stellar, I know I have it in me. Sadyang, Im getting old, Im now 25. Most times, I have already been daydreaming about settling with my own family. Someday soon. HAHAHAHA Also, probably the reason why I was sad before writing this was because I didn’t finish reviewing the materials for the exam a few hours ago, so my scores did pass. But it was exacty passing. In med, it feels like sometimes you’re okay to be mediocre but not to mediocre at the expense of your grades. So, it’s kind of chill and not chill. You just have the find the balance. Also, the revalida being closer now and my ability to diagnose diseases not being at par to my level stress me out that’s why I think it manifested as frustration and sadness when I didn’t reach my goals. But med school’s like that, ITS SUCH A ROLLER COASTER RIDE. One moment you get a perfect score, the next one, you don’t pass an exam. And it’s normal. Just don’t normalize it too much.

Anyway, you have your people in med school. The few that keeps you sane. And I will always be thankful that A4 is my subsec. This is a group of people who are just too good to be true and I’m lucky that I have them with me.

So ayun, I guess that’s the only update for now.

Okay na kasi ako. Thanks writing!

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 3 years

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any tips on how to improve writing skills?

The number one advice I would give is to practice. Your writing can't get any better over night, even if someone gives you tips. And you can't expect to see results immediately. Writing is influenced by so many factors. When I started writing film reviews at the age of 19, I constantly told myself that I would never get better, that I could never write as some critics that I admire because each of them had a particular style and I used to think it's impossible for me to reach such a level. Of course it was incredibly dumb on my part to think that way because I compared myself to people who had more than 10-15 years of experience or more. It's funny to see how naive we can be when we're only just starting in life. But I kept going, asked for feedback, which is really helpful. Constructive criticism is key, even when your entire piece looks like the Red Sea and you think you should throw it away in the trash can. I say this because gradually you realize the common mistakes you make, you can redo your text according to the commentaries you received and slowly, but gradually you develop your language, the text form that works better for you, some key phrases that help you express your idea in the best way possible.

As for actual tips:

You need a structure before you start writing. You need to know from the beginning exactly what you want to say and then you fill it in.

Write an introduction in which you state what is your purpose and what are you going to expand on the next paragraphs. Also, you can make it catchy in order to grab your reader's attention.

If your text is chaotic, all over the place, then your reader can get bored easily, or they can't really follow your ideas so they give up. Your text needs to have this red thread, which is your main theme, the core idea. Don't lose sight of it.

Depending on your topic, if you use a certain concept, it's always best to use examples so the reader has no issues in understanding what you're trying to explain.

Read articles similar to what you want to write. You can pick on a lot of techniques from there.

I wouldn't say this one is a tip because I find it essential, but reading. And I don't mean what I pointed out at no. 5. The more diverse is it, the better. I would always say that it's not enough for a filmmaker to go to film school and watch movies. They learn their job for sure, but how can one use the cinematic medium to have an actual discourse on cinema, on life, if they don't have some cultural background? And I don't mean this in an elitist way, I think we should acquire knowledge from different sources, to expand our mind, even if it comes in bits and pieces. A bit of philosophy, literature, art history, cultural studies, sociology, etc. And this is a never ending process. For this blog I had to read up on some topics that I wasn't always too familiar with, but that's the interesting part of it because researching and writing becomes a learning experience.

#asks #writing tips

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takoyakitenchou · 4 years

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You and I, a takumegu story

joy is meant to be fleeting. and yet.

Morning

“Takumi-kun,” Megumi yawned as she approached him bearing onigiri and a stainless steel HydroFlask filled to the brim with piping hot jujube tea.

The Italian greeted her with a steaming mug of coffee from his espresso machine in his kitchenette. “I wish I could say good morning, but I’m rather averse to the notion at this point.”

Megumi laughed. It was nearing 5 AM in Tokyo, and they’d been in Takumi’s office at Legislation with a veritable cityscape of the first and second seats’ paperwork organized by importance for the last ten hours. It was tragic that they had agreed to finish all their work a night early so they could enjoy each other’s presence, but this quality time had been relegated to the stupid office.

“Shall we continue?” Megumi asked, her words lacking any and all traces of conviction.

Takumi heaved a sigh. “I’ve signed so many documents today I can’t tell if I’m writing in Japanese or Italian.”

“To be honest, I’ve probably not even been signing my own name,” she mused. Then she blanched. “O-oh no! W-what if I sent t-the—”

“Relax, Tadokoro-san,” Takumi said, sensing an impending panic attack. “I’m sure Arato-san reviewed the documents before we sent them to New York.”

“I was the one reviewing them!”

Takumi put his hand over hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze. His eyes widened slightly as he realized what he was doing, but he brushed the feeling aside. “It’ll be alright, Tadokoro-san. It won’t matter too much.”

It looked for a second as if she were about to implode, but then she sighed, “I don’t have enough energy to hyperventilate.”

“I understood that on so many different levels.” Takumi took one of the onigiri and felt rejuvenated with the first bite, reveling in the warmth of the honey dressed pork. “This is a masterpiece,” he told her. “I feel better than I’ve been the rest of the month collectively.”

She smiled, a faint blush rising to her cheeks. “I’m glad you think so.”

Takumi’s eyebrows drew together. “Tadokoro-san, now that we’re both functional, do you want to visit the noodle festival in Dotonbori?”

She dropped her onigiri. “T-that’s in Osaka, Takumi-kun.”

“Well, Nakiri Alice told me we’re free to take the jet whenever we want as long as it’s not in use.” Takumi lifted his hand. Dangling from his fingers was a lanyard with a small gold key. “Shall we?”

“It’s five in the morning…” But they both knew she was already more than convinced.

When they landed in Osaka, the festival was already underway.

The sun was slipping past the horizon by the time they realized they’d been gone the entire day and probably caused pandemonium at Legislation — tragic, how they were the sole pillar keeping the Elite Ten from falling to pieces — but neither seemed to mind.

They were sitting on a bench, watching the passersby, content with all the noodles they’d consumed.

Takumi furrowed his brows. “Tadokoro-san?”

“Yes, Takumi-kun.”

“How would you feel if we called this a date?”

Megumi’s eyes widened. “E-ehh?”

Takumi’s face turned red as he attempted to contrive a respectable excuse, but his panic was cut short when Megumi took hold of his hand with an uncharacteristically calm air.

“I would love that, Takumi-kun,” she smiled, and with one look, Takumi figured that not even the urban atmosphere around them could compare to the cosmopolitan vibrancy in her gold eyes.

Sunset

There has always been some vague concept of balance. Everything comes with a counterpart; there is no exception to this, and there never will be. It is a universal truth, as constant as the laws of motion, as flexible as time. Balance is often unseen, and yet it is there. Joy is countered with anguish, laughter with tears; neither can exist without the other.

And yet, every time Takumi Aldini’s electric blue eyes fell upon that sweet cinnamon roll of a girl — one hell of a chef when she was provoked, though — he realized that no law was absolute, because he had never experienced anything but exhilaration when he was with her.

Love was fleeting; that was another supposed aphorism he’d learned from the wise.

But loving Tadokoro Megumi was something he could do once, twice, twice eternity.

“It says in Nakiri-san’s memo that we’re supposed to be providing a lunch service for the jury of the Bocuse d’Or,” Megumi frowned, reading the post-it note stuck on the inside cover of the manila folder Alice had provided for this particular task.

Takumi finished off his espresso. They were watching the sunset in Vienna, drinking Melange and sharing a slice of Sachertorte with the sun descending beyond the Wiener Musikverein in the gentle Saturday backdrop. “For a second there I was going to ask you which Nakiri you’re talking about. Isn’t the Bocuse d’Or in France?”

“Lyon,” Megumi confirmed. “I’m betting Nakiri-san sent us here on purpose. Bocuse d’Or won’t even happen this year. Ah, look. She left us a note on the back of the post-it.” Megumi cleared her throat before reading, “Happy one year, lovebirds. You have twelve hours before Erina goes berserk and calls NATO to send troops to find you guys, so enjoy them. Call me when you want the jet to come pick you up from VIE.”

“Well, Tadokoro-san, I guess we can relax for the rest of the task period. Happy one year, by the way.”

Megumi gave him a bright smile and replied, “Happy one year, Takumi-kun.”

The sky was soft, an endless canvas streaked with muted shades of orange and pink, everything blending into a gorgeous view highlighted by the spectacular architecture — and yet Takumi couldn’t seem to register anything other than the remarkable girl blushing nervously across from him.

To think it had been a whole year. It was too good to be true. This was the type of love most men searched for their entire lives without once catching a glimpse of; this was the type of love in fantasy, romance novels — everything an illusion. And yet this was real, as real as the warmth of her heart beating against his when she pressed her nose to his neck.

Takumi knew even he, with all his virtues, didn’t deserve her. But maybe she’d be willing to take him along for the ride; wherever Tadokoro Megumi went, he would follow.

It was just then that Takumi’s phone rang, snapping both out of their shared reverie.

The Italian sighed as he read the caller ID: Nakiri Erina.

“Do I pick this up?” he mused aloud, but he already had his answer.

“Y-you have to, Takumi-kun! She’s the first seat!”

“What do you say we don’t go back to school?” Takumi said, turning his phone on silent and flipping it face down.

Megumi gave him a horrified look. “You just ghosted Nakiri Erina!”

“I mean, she’s probably too busy dealing with Yukihira’s chaos to care, right?”

“Chaos is a severe understatement,” Megumi admitted. “B-but what if she kicks us off the council?”

Takumi grinned. “It’ll be alright, Tadokoro-san. We have a whole week to ourselves.”

With a sigh, Megumi relented. “So… we’re in Vienna.”

“Right.”

“There’s this restaurant I really want to try… but there’s another place down the street that Ryo-kun said had really good rainbow trout. And while we’re in Europe… have you been to Budapest?”

Takumi clapped his hands together. “Say less. We’re taking a sabbatical for the rest of the month.”

Megumi gave a nervous chuckle. “For research purposes, right? Otherwise Nakiri-san is going to kick us over the Pacific Ocean when we get back.”

At this, Takumi burst out laughing. He managed to choke out, “You are truly one in a million, Tadokoro-san.”

And he meant it.

Dawn

To say Takumi Aldini was known for his elegant calisthenics would be a stretch, but when that chaotically graceful blessing was around him, swinging up onto the rooftop of the trattoria with a picnic basket perched precariously on his fingertips was most definitely not a problem.

Megumi was waiting for him with a fleece blanket around her shoulders and a gentle smile that warmed her gold eyes brighter than the Italian sunrise. “Hi, honey,” she said sweetly, as if she hadn’t prodded him awake ten minutes ago and told him to bring breakfast up to the roof in five. He’d never be able to catch up to her hopping hare speed, but he figured he’d gotten the basics of Tadokoro Time down. To be early was to be on time and to be on time was to be late. Considering he was five minutes past the downbeat, his girlfriend had probably been waiting for him since before the dinosaurs.

“Good morning, amore,” he replied as he sat beside her and opened the basket. Takumi produced a loaf of brioche and began cutting with expert precision, trying to keep his pulse steady as he felt her eyes on him. The small velvet box in his pocket was doing nothing to help this endeavor.

Megumi regarded the two identical 1.8-centimeter slices in awe before thanking him and lifting the first bite to her lips.

“This is delicious,” she said once the tranquil hum of the autumn pond had faded to the back of her mind. “The rosemary completes the ensemble really well.” He was truly amazing; they’d been cooking love confessions for each other for the last seven years and he could still make her heart skip beats. His love was unconditional, more pastel than anything.

“Grazie, amore,” he said. “It means the world coming from you.”

“I’m only telling you the truth,” she blushed. “If I have to, I’ll say it every day to make sure you know that.”

It was now or never.

“Listen, Megumi. There’s something you need to know.”

She gazed up at him curiously over her brioche.

Takumi took a deep breath. To hell with the speech he’d parsed out in his head last night — that kind of thing never worked anyhow.

Loving Tadokoro Megumi was about elements and worlds that weren’t in their dimension or maybe even in their universe; it was something beyond time and space that his mind couldn’t process, much less put into words, but maybe this dawn would help transmit this, somehow.

But it was highly probable that Takumi had been ready for this simple statement since the moment he first laid eyes on her. A night’s worth of drafting could not possibly hope to serve justice to everything he needed to say. It was the pinnacle of all his emotions that would do more than enough, right here, right now.

“If I said I knew exactly when I fell in love with you, I’d be lying, but if anyone asks I’ll tell them I love you now, and that is all that matters. Tadokoro Megumi, you are the most insanely talented, beautiful girl I have ever known, and I am the luckiest man in the world to stand by your side, so thank you for that. I know I’m far from perfect; I have my flaws, and you have yours, but you need to know that every little part of you is absolutely everything to me, and nothing in this universe could ever change that. With your hand in mine we will turn this wasteland into paradise. You and I, no… us. I promise that I will always be with you. Forever is finite. But my love for you is beyond that.”

At this point, Megumi closely resembled something similar to a red train — Takumi swore he could see the smoke venting from her ears — but he’d waded too far in to step back out.

“I have one question for you.” Takumi got down on one knee, reached into his pocket, and pulled out the Verragio box. The ring was elegant to the point where it possessed an ethereal quality. Diamonds seamlessly fused with rose gold on a platinum band; it was definitely flashier than anything either had ever dreamt of before, much less purchased, and yet it was heartfelt and deliberate. And, perhaps most importantly, it spoke volumes — more words and confessions captured within the metal than Takumi could ever express.

It was a promise of the unbridled love he had for her, the promise of a sterling future he wanted to build with her.

“It is a privilege and an honor to love you. Will you make me not only the luckiest, but also the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

She nodded, doing her utmost to fight back the tears. And as dawn broke in the sky above them, the girl that brought onigiri to his office at five in the morning, the girl that laughed at him over hiyamugi and squeaked whenever he wrapped his arms around her, the beautiful girl that always made him wonder what he had done to deserve her, said two words, and that was enough.

“I will.”

soooo um hi @taku-megu i was your secret santa this year! writing a takumegu fic is something i haven’t done before, so i’m really glad i was given the opportunity to write for you. i hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday with your loved ones!

and of course, thanks to @shokugeki-secretsanta for organizing this event :)

- reina

#shokugeki no soma #shokugeki no soma secret santa #takumi aldini #tadokoro megumi #takumegu #merry frickin chriSTmaS

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bookaddict24-7 · 3 years

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I said at the beginning of the year that I would share my reviews more on my blog instead of just on Instagram and Goodreads. I’ve been reading a lot so far this year, so my reviews will be delayed on here.

Friend me on Goodreads here to read my reviews in real-time!

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119. Night of the Mannequins by Stephen Graham Jones--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This book took a little bit of time to get into, but then it really grabbed my interest. The writing isn’t for everyone and at first I was a little put off by it, but then I realized the chaotic sentence structures actually worked really well at portraying the disorienting and odd mindset of the MC. Something about the writing just seemed chaotic and in a way, it’s absolutely perfect for the plot. This was just such an eerie book and not because of the murdering or the creepy idea of a mannequin coming to life. That discomfort comes from the mental hoops the MC jumps through to justify his actions. The ease with which he goes about his plans was the most disturbing part to me. And also, his descent into madness—which prompted me to ask friends who’ve already read this book: Was he always a little mad, or was that one moment in the book the triggering event that shattered his ability to see his reality? I enjoyed this for what it was (for me)—a novella that explores adolescence and what they might do when things are changing too much around them, the naive and incomprehensible reasoning behind certain decisions and actions, and weirdly beautiful and chaotic narrative of a mind being lost to a delusion. The one thing I wasn’t a big fan of was the conclusion. I think, after the madness and the power of the MC’s decisions, the end felt a little anticlimactic and contradictory. At the same time that I understand why the ending is this way, I was expecting something else. This makes me want to read more horror because of all the themes these books explore.

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120. Monster by Walter Dean Myers--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I’ve had this book on my bookshelf for forever. One of my bookstore coworkers has been talking this book up for years and I kept putting it off because it always looked emotionally intimidating. Then I watched the Netflix movie trailer. If you need a deciding factor on whether it’s time for you to read this book or not, watch that trailer. Books like this one, like I mentioned before, intimidate the heck out of me. The emotional bomb that they can set off for me as I read always terrifies me. And I felt it too—as I read this book and the case carried on and the assumptions were made and that ending happened—I felt that anxiety and growing pit of knowing something would come and break my heart. There’s a moment in this book where you can truly see that being a lawyer is just a job for some people. They wear the perfect masks and say what they can to ensure their client believes in the process. But a moment in this book—beyond the obvious prejudices in the case and the MC’s emotional deterioration—hit me the hardest when someone is shown to not be the person we think they are. But it also introduces the idea of perception. What did that person see when they stated at our MC? Though powerful in how it is told (as a film script), I found this book to be a little too short and quick. I still highly recommend it. It’s a bit older, but I think it’s the kind of book that is unfortunately timely even now.

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121. Finlay Donovan is Killing It by Elle Cosimano--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a fun mystery that didn’t go the way I was expecting, but was still enjoyable in its own unique way. It’s definitely an unexpected storyline for a mystery! I’m intrigued to see how far the author can take this premise—especially when the MC is a mystery writer who may or may not use these situations as inspiration. The mystery portion of it was fun, but I found the conclusion to be the part that put the finishing touch on the story. I’ll definitely be recommending this one for fans of mystery that want a younger and slightly quirky MC.

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122. The Ex Talk by Rachel Lynn Solomon--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I enjoyed this one more than I thought I would. I think part of it was that I listened to the audiobook as I read the book—it’s really a whole different experience when you listen to an audiobook that has podcast scripts in them. I loved that this was a good amount of spicy and the whole enemies to lovers trope—seriously one of my favourite tropes! I also enjoyed reading this story from the perspective of a Jewish character, and seeing the Jewish holidays and traditions sprinkled here and there in the story. One of my complaints is the narrator they chose for the audiobook. Her voice was so...sensual? Aha, I don’t know how else to describe it—like I was listening to a person over-emphasize their sensuality while reading the mundane parts of the book. This made it particularly...interesting during the spicy scenes. This was a cute romance that dealt with grief, surprise romance, and the consequences of lying. I highly recommend it (especially for summer reading)!

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123. Secret Crush Seduction by Jayci Lee--⭐️⭐️⭐️

Wow I took a long time to finish this one. In true Harlequin fashion, this was cheesy af but also nice and spicy. I enjoyed this for what it was and ate up the cheese. I enjoyed that this one had some meat to it in the form of the fashion show charity auction, and that there was a pretty fun cast of characters introduced because of it. Also, the grandmother is awesome. Finally, the cover model is GORGEOUS. I could totally imagine the female MC looking like her!

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124. The Year We Fell Down by Sarina Bowen--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This one was a re-read for me! I remember really enjoying this one, but never finishing the series. I bought the whole series as a bundle off Kobo years ago, so I figured, eh why not try to finish the whole thing? I really enjoyed the characters and their struggles in this one. I especially loved the slow burn and the angst. Hopefully I’ll enjoy the next book, too!

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Have you read any of these books? Would you recommend them?

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Happy reading!

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dereksmcgrath · 3 years

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Y’all are talking up Star and Stripe, while I’m impressed how this series finally gave interiority to Stain.

“No Man Is an Island,” My Hero Academia Chapter 328. By Kohei Horikoshi, translation by Caleb Cook, lettering by John Hunt. Available from Viz.

Content warnings regarding rape and violence against women.

Before I get to Stain, let’s start with the end of this chapter, given how much of a splash Star and Stripe, our newest character, has made so far with readers.

Is Star and Stripe All Might’s student? I don’t want to bring out the Todoroki red-string board determining a list of All Might’s potential offspring, and I don’t think that’s her role in this story, as calling her mentor her “master” is far more a student-teacher relationship than anything else. But if she is All Might’s student, what does that change in what I have considered about All Might up to this point? I have frequently derided his skills as a teacher, and nothing in the story has suggested otherwise that he isn’t used to it: flashbacks we’ve had of Nezu talking with All Might implied teaching would be something new for him, his innate learning clashes with someone like Izuku who prefers things explained to him, and the series has made gags about how he needed the equivalent of Teaching for Dummies to know basic pep talks to give to Izuku’s classmates. That’s not to say he was never a teacher to Star and Stripe--but it is to say that it has not been obvious to me that he had such experiences, or was that suited for it. It may be that All Might, despite himself and what he thinks of himself, was indeed a teacher to Star and Stripe, or at least she thought he did a good job as one, whether directly or, as is just as likely, serving as the role model, literally the person she has modeled her look and theming around.

You’ll also forgive me if I look at that chapter’s title and not still think how much All Might isolated himself for so long, so it’s rich to have such a title like that, when it’s too little, too late, for All Might to suddenly engage in the collaborative work that heroes should engage it, that has been part of Izuku’s ethos for so long, that is at the heart of One For All, when All Might has kept trying to handle everything on his own with no help from others. Granted, I’m being unfair: All Might has seemed to have more coordination with the police than other Pro Heroes from what we’ve seen in the comics, and it’s not like they can’t retroactively change that (Big Red Dot refers to All Might as a “friend” in this chapter, so maybe All Might is a more collaborative hero than I’m giving him credit.) Weirdly, All Might’s tendency to work alone kind of makes him and Stain alike in a lot of ways--but we’ll get to Stain later. And yes, I can also see the island conceit is referring to Tartarus, but I’m looking at the subtext first before the text.

But turning back to Star and Stripe, and without whining too much about this point, it is bizarre this late in the game to get yet another character who was influenced by All Might. But it’s not unbelievable. Of course there are more than just Izuku and Bakugo who modeled their look or name after All Might. Of course there are more than just Melissa Shield and Nighteye inspired to go into support or hero work by his example. And of course, when All Might studied and practiced in the United States, and whose theming is built around Superman, the quintessential United States superhero (albeit one co-created by a Canadian creator), of course we’d get a US Pro Hero inspired by him. And she’s a woman, and I appreciate that inclusiveness and representation.

Too bad, as usual, including another woman in the story leads to two problems I have with fans’ reactions: one, for fans who are fixated on objectifying women characters, and two, for an Edgar Allan Poe scholar like me who keeps reading into things, rightly or wrongly, and thinking everything is going to turn into killing off a woman character to motivate the men characters.

I really wish I wouldn’t have to write this ridiculous disclaimer, but the “horny on main” crowd on social media gets tiresome. It’d be nice to have a new woman character be introduced without immediate reactions being primarily “she’s hot.” Sometimes you just want to enjoy a new character like Star and Stripe as a Captain America-style pastiche and their superpower work without just seeing her as another freaking waifu for someone. Nothing precludes her from being someone that people find attractive; I just find it tiresome when it seems like still that this tends to happen to women more frequently, especially with the long history of reducing women, in real life or in fiction, for objectification and not seeing them as fully realized people where, yes, any sexuality or asexuality is part of them, but just a part, not all of them.

And while I criticize the “horny on main” crowd, it’s not like I don’t have my own problems in writing these reviews regarding women characters: I have set a countdown clock for how long before Star and Stripe gets fridged, because that’s my fear. At least recent art in the newest My Hero Academia volume in Japan features new artwork of Nagant, so fingers crossed she’s not quite dead following All For One’s inevitable explode-y betrayal. And it’s not as if this series lacks diverse representations of girls and women, especially in roles they take (Pro Hero, Villain, Vigilante, or civilian) and personalities. And it’s not fair for me to risk limiting the story’s potential by insisting a character not be killed off. But when I think popular culture at large still limits roles for girls and women in action stories, especially in superhero stories and shonen, it’s hard for me not to cringe with worry that, shortly after a girl or woman character is introduced to the story, that she’s going to be sidelined in some way, whether objectified or killed off, largely for the sake of boys and men fans and characters.

Or maybe I’m just annoyed seeing as this chapter starts with a Tartarus escapee shouting about “females” like Quark from DS9 before Stain kills him. Thoughts and prayers for that dead jackass.

Still, that character’s presence is troublesome. In Horikoshi’s works, and spinoffs like Vigilantes, violence against women perpetuates as a way of identifying someone as really super-duper evil. It feels like that Mark Millar quotation referring to rape as one of the ways to really clue in the audience that this person is evil, no different than if a villain decapitated someone. It’s far more complicated than that when writing in fiction for two reasons. First, it’s victimizing women for a story so that it traditionally falls upon the protagonist, usually a man, to avenge those women--so, Stain killing this guy kind of fits that cliche. Second, it’s not believable, and it does a lot of harm acting like a rapist is that obvious villain over there rather than a lot of people that we keep thinking are nice guys before, bam, we realize they’re fucking awful. It’s the banality of evil that perpetuates, to ignore that rapists in real life are not just mustache-twirling villains but can be people of all types, even people in the highest levels of government, entertainment, and business who are supposed to come across as reasonable, normal individuals who contribute to society but instead are also freaking monsters who committed sexual violence against someone else.

I wish I had any sort of transition to get back to other parts of this chapter, so the best I can say is, let’s turn back to Stain.

I do appreciate what this chapter does with him, especially giving us something we haven’t had from him in a long time, if ever: interiority. Getting into Stain’s mind should be petrifying, like how his stance against the Pro Heroes froze them in place, with or without use of his Quirks. (If it turns out he actually had a “Quirk awakening” like Toga and Shigaraki, I’m throwing copies I have of this manga against the wall.) Instead, Stain is weirdly rational. He assesses the situation, sees how chaotic things are in this prison, realizes things must be chaotic outside, so his first stop is to see who has information, such as any computer data, and that’s where he’s lucky enough to find the last surviving Tartarus guard protecting the hard drive that he passes onto All Might. He’s even weirdly honorable to not take that weapon on his way out, not kill this dying guard, and not just be evil for evil’s sake. As Stain himself said, he’s an ally, but also a beast.

It’s incredible. What character progression.

I was ticked off with the last chapter having Hawks dismiss Stain’s note as a “love letter” to All Might: that’s right up there with UA dismissing Shigaraki initially as a “man-child.” These characters are more complicated than these off-putting insults that seem to be more about criticizing men for failing to stand up to some expected behavior. Like, if you’re going to go after Stain and Shigaraki, I would start with the fact that they are freaking murderers before lambasting one as looking up to All Might and the other as enjoying video games and being immature for his age.

So, after how annoying those character derisions are, I’m impressed how this chapter took us through Stain’s thought process in a way to have him be more than the crazed vigilante we saw in Vigilantes and the Hosu Arc. It added depth to him without negating what evils he has done. It showed his thought process beyond cliches of some Death Wish hyper-violent weirdo without, again, retconning those aspects as if they were never part of him. This chapter isn’t quite a retcon, so much as a fleshing out of a character to show how he was able to get the jump on Pro Heroes and kill or disable so many of them. This makes him look smart and capable rather than, as I will continue to complain about Villains like All For One, just lucky and the beneficiaries of plot contrivances. That contrast, to have Stain looking at All For One, who stands before escaped prisoners like the Messiah (or Anti-Christ) figure he thinks he is, just cements for me how well Stain is written, and how poorly in contrast All For One comes across.

Then again, Stain did just happen upon the guard having those drives of digital information, so he could have just been the lucky beneficiary of a plot contrivance. Or, as at least one person online wrote, All For One planted that evidence to trick the Pro Heroes into thinking Shigaraki is nearing his finalization so he can draw them into a trap. For now, though, I’m choosing to take this as an example for how an antagonist should be written: capable, smart, and not just getting by on the plot deciding they should win.

I had said about the previous chapter how that one felt incomplete. But I can’t say that any of Stain’s story in this arc has felt incomplete. I usually hate bouncing back and forth between flashbacks and timeskips in stories (but I’ll say more about that later when getting back to some Episode 7 posts), but going back to explain how Stain got the information from Tartarus worked for me. It wasn’t just to fill in back story; it also clarified what Stain thinks his role is right now, after what he did in Vigilantes and what he did to Iida’s brother: at least to me, or maybe because by now readers are more familiar with him, he seems to have more self-awareness. There is no glee like there seemed to be when he took down crime bosses and unintentional Villains in Vigilantes, or when he disabled Tensei. He seems oddly more rational--which is terrifying, given how much to shit society has gone in the manga, where someone like Stain seems reasonable compared to All For One gathering enforcers from Tartarus. It’s kind of fitting that the chapter that really re-introduced Stain to this series was titled “Who Are You Really?” which is pretty much the question that surviving Tartarus guard said to Stain, whether he will be a hero or another villain.

(Speaking of that guard: we’re told pretty much all the guards at Tartarus died, whether killed by the prison escape, the building’s damage, or drowning. But wasn’t there one guard that All For One’s team took with them to pilot their escape? I’m not getting my hopes up that Shishikura’s father survived, but it would be a waste to kill him off just to motivate Shishikura instead of that motivation being in part to rescue his dad. Granted, I’m skittish around killing characters before their usefulness is exploited, as awful as that is to phrase, but unfortunately, I just complained about fridging, so I’m being annoying right now.)

After that back story for Stain, we catch up to All Might returning from his pep talk to Izuku to meet with Tsukauchi. For a lot of reasons, Tsukauchi has been criticized by fans, some of inspired for good reasons by our moment of reception (many police not meeting the standards set for them in the wake of their unjustified violence, especially against marginalized people) and some that are either plot-based (he is not the biggest fan of our protagonists in Vigilantes and actively upsets their work) or undeserved (he’s actually been competent by this point in the manga). So, it’s weird to hear him complain about needing Stain’s help--when, given how bad things are in Japan in this story, he’s not exactly doing that great a job himself.

Also, poor Sansa back there has a head scar now.

Where this chapter falls apart a bit for me is its attempt at worldbuilding. I appreciate that we are learning along with All Might just how One For All works. He himself didn’t quite get what Izuku was seeing of the Vestiges way back in the Sports Festival Arc, so it makes sense that he is our audience surrogate to explain to Sansa and readers just what he can and can’t sense of them when near Izuku. The problem I’m having is that this is information related to about a month or so ago when he was with Izuku in the hospital. It wasn’t as clear to me then that All Might had this much of a deep understanding of One For All, so to now have it explained in this detail feels like we’re skipping some steps in logic. It’s not unbelievable that All Might needed that month to finally understand all of this; it’s just bothersome as a reader to have the info dump happen in this manner. I understand that info-dump would have disrupted the narrative flow in those earlier chapters; I also think delaying that information until now is frustrating, the equivalent of having to set down this chapter to go back to the earlier ones. It’s not the joy of re-reading a story with new appreciation for something else to discover in the earlier chapters; it’s more like reading a textbook and having to skip to endnotes at the back of the book to read something in more detail.

And speaking of getting buried in needless confusing self-contradicting explanations: the manga then cuts to a Pro Hero version of the United Nations, full of shadowy people explaining how it’s too difficult to coordinate nations to convince them to let their Pro Heroes go to Japan and help with relief efforts. It’s bad enough how much I hate “shadowy people in government” as a trope: it felt lazy in the first Avengers film, and after more than four years in the United States having to hear deep state bullshit by hucksters and far-right fascists, no, I’m not up for such symbols that don’t put a face on the people responsible. I know I’m invoking Avatar: The Last Airbender so soon after talking it up in the previous chapter review, but we delayed showing Ozai’s face to make him faceless so that, when it is finally revealed, and he looks like a normal guy, we realize how this evil can come from even the most normal looking person, especially as a contrast between his unscarred face and Zuko’s scarred face, where the scar in a lot of stories is traditionally used to mark someone as ugly and therefore evil, while Avatar shows how obviously prejudiced, wrong, and illogical such mental and symbolic associations are. I know it would take more work to draw designs for all these bureaucrats, but give them faces, make them known, make them actual characters. I get that making them relatable causes as much of a problem as making them too relatable and therefore making their absurd points logical, but I can’t stand to keep perpetuating “deep state shadow government” nonsense in destabilized times.

Then again, when it comes to the delays in sending out the Pro Heroes, it’s not that unbelievable or unrealistic, given how bureaucracy hampers international relief efforts all the time in the real world. But it’s just bizarre, for a work of fiction that has shown Pro Hero society making so many advancements yet still bogged down by something so quotidian in a fantastic setting. Granted, I’ve repeated over and over again in these reviews how I thought this setting was a utopia--a world where people of different abilities and sizes had accommodations with regard to clothing, housing, and buildings--only to have later chapters undermine all of that--housing for giant-size people is in inconvenient locations, subsidies are not easy to get for being giant-size, people with non-human appearances are abused and tormented.

But, to the story’s credit, ending with Star and Stripe ignoring such bureaucracy, so, this is very much Horikoshi having his cake and eating it, too.

And I hate to end this review on a down note, but I am cringing at potential unfortunate implications incoming. Star and Stripe is riding atop what looks like a futuristic fighter plane that, I have to imagine, within this plot, is related to the United States government and, if not, at least by her entire US-patriotic theming, might as well be. And she’s flying a couple of these fighter planes to Japan. I really, really am trying not to cringe at potential invoking of the United States’ attack on Japan during World War II, and I’m really trying to hope the story won’t make some misguided references to nuclear bombing. I know this is a stretch, but after the trouble Horikoshi rightly faced for how he named All For One’s doctor, it would not surprise me. Plus, it’s not as if this hasn’t been a difficulty in localizing these Japanese works in United States audiences: I play that Bungo Stray Dogs mobile app game all the time, but there’s a reason that game, upon initial release in the United States, almost immediately changed a special move’s name from “Kamikaze” to “Beatdown.” And seeing as that Bungo film ends with Agatha Christie almost carpet-bombing Japan, yeah, you’ll forgive me if a lot of these thoughts are circulating in my mind anticipating what could happen next in this series.

#my hero academia #mha spoilers #stain #star and stripe #manga review #cw: rape #cw: violence against women

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a-sleepy-reader · 3 years

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The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo: an Analysis and Review

Foreword

If you want a review free of spoilers, please scroll to the section labelled ‘Conclusion/Review without spoilers.’

Introduction

Few modern novels have been as celebrated in the mainstream media as Paulo Coehlo’s The Alchemist. It has been praised by Publisher’s Weekly, Booklist, and Kenzaburo Oe, winner of the Nobel Prize in Literature.

“The story has the comic charm, dramatic tension, and psychological intensity of a fairy tale, but it’s full of specific wisdom as well… a sweetly exotic tale for young and old alike.”

-Publisher’s Weekly

The Alchemist has the tone of a children’s book and the genre of a fable taking place centuries ago, with wisdoms claimed to be as old as its setting. So, does The Alchemist deliver on these high hopes?

Plot synopsis

Santiago seems disheartened by his life as a Shepherd boy in Spain before he meets a wise and likely supernatural king. The king tells Santiago that he must follow his personal legend(life purpose), which is to travel to the Egyptian pyramids in search of treasure. Santiago has dreamt of the pyramids and treasure before and takes this as affirmation that traveling to such a place is his life purpose. The shepherd boy sells his sheep and takes to selling crystals for money before he sets out on his journey and encounters The Englishman. He is an alchemist looking for the wisest practicer in his field, promptly titled ‘The Alchemist.’ The two set out on camels and stop at an oasis, where Santiago instantly falls in love with a woman named Fatima. The Englishman also manages to find his coveted alchemist, who shares many wisdoms with the two, for example, that, in this world, the language of the world is the spiritual communication of all beings, such as omens and body language. The Alchemist urges Santiago to follow his personal legend despite his bond to Fatima and, by proxy, the oasis. Though torn between staying with his love and realizing his personal legend, he sets out to the pyramids with The Alchemist. In the midst of their journey, however, Arabian soldiers capture them; Santiago is only spared his life by The Alchemist convincing the soldiers that Santiago will turn into wind. Santiago is able to communicate with the desert and summons a sandstorm that makes the soldiers let him go. At the pyramids, he is informed of a stranger's dream and personal legend, one of treasure waiting in Spain where Santiago began his journey. Realizing his treasure really required an appreciation not of a place but of given circumstances, Santiago plans to obtain his treasure and return to Fatima.

Analysis

Coehlo says he is a catholic despite the fact that some of his beliefs do not align with traditional Catholicism. Many of his stances resemble that of spiritualism, such as a belief in omens, existentialism, and prophetic dreams. This explains many of The Alchemist’s themes, being as focused on personal legends and omens as it is. The Alchemist has many morals beyond very individualistic beliefs, however, such as faith in true love and soulmates, of a God, the purpose of life laying not in physical progress but in spiritual acceptance, and a disapproval of those too scared to pursue what they want, amongst others. Overall, however, I believe the book’s message can be boiled-down to ‘learn the language of the universe,’ that is, learn to interact with the spiritual world Coehlo believes in through means of personal legends and communicating with the world through omens.

Review

At first glance, The Alchemist looks like a simply-written yet sophisticated book; it has an understandable plot and writing style yet many morals, so who’s to say that it’s incomparable to works like The Little Prince by Antoine De Saint Exupery(I will be using that comparison often in this review)? Well, I think The Alchemist has the bones of an extraordinary fable like Exupery’s, but its meat is lacking. That is, I believe The Alchemist is a chaotic and underdeveloped mess of a book, The Little Prince but if it were written in a day or two. It had potential that was squandered by the lack of thought put into essential parts of storytelling, from its morals to its writing to its characters and tension. Let’s begin respectively.

The Alchemist has few qualms with throwing an idea at the reader and presenting it as a conclusion rather than a speculation or the beginning of a well-developed theory for the reader to elaborate on themselves. For example, omens are integral to The Alchemist, and since the novel is advertised as a sort of self-help book with a plot, one would expect Coehlo to try and tie this idea in to the real world somehow or at least provide some reasoning for why he believes this aside from omens only obvious in The Alchemist. No such evidence or support is provided; omens are obviously present in The Alchemist but their validity relies on the nature of their being in the book unfounded or more difficult to find in the real world, and Coehlo never even explains why he believes in omens, so it’s a setup for nothing. This is a common theme throughout The Alchemist, from its support of personal legends to prophetic dreams to love at first sight to the language of the universe, Coehlo relies on the sheer obviousness of the world he made to get his points across and loses their potential support in the process. This harm’s the book’s philosophies regardless of whether they are accurate or not.

Adding to the novel’s problems, the writing itself(that is, the English translation) is not very good. Now, I want to make something clear: a book doesn’t need to be Nabokovian to have good writing. One can use very common words and simple sentence structures and be better writers than the greats if they write wisely and make the most of its simplicity. The Little Prince has a simple writing style, but it flows with believable dialogue, clever metaphors, and good pacing. Compare those qualities to this excerpt from The Alchemist:

“The first day passed. There was a major battle nearby, and a number of wounded were brought back to the camp. The dead soldiers were replaced by others, and life went on. Death doesn’t change anything, the boy thought.”

This paragraph is clunky. Sentences that could have led from one to the next in a steady, effortless rhythm instead clash and seem to be thrown together to form a mix of disconnected and boring facts. This could have been written so much more interestingly; does Santiago feel bad for the soldiers? Does he feel guilty for not helping with the battle? What did the wounded look like? How does he feel? A running problem in The Alchemist is how emotionally barren it is. True, I still would have grilled Coehlo if he wrote ‘Santiago is sad,’ but that is because the point could have been gotten across more subtly and believably: ‘The metallic stench of blood weighed on Santiago,’ for example. Expanding on this, let’s see what happens when I add my personal interpretation of how this paragraph could have been more fluent and emotionally powerful;

“The soldiers fought through the day and through the night, only that and the growing stench marking the time. A time-marker of blood, of hope, of death, of the many qualities of the people in the oasis, shattered to sand. Once those grains were gone, more rushed to the battlefield, sandstorm after sandstorm, life after life, gone. In the end, though, it changed nothing. Blood, hope, and death never really do.”

By no means do I think this is perfect, but I think it goes to show a sliver of how much can be accomplished with relatively simple writing styles; they do not have to be clunky, they do not have to be bland, and they can get a point across and convey emotion at the same time.

Then again, even if Coehlo’s prose was Nabokovian, this would not erase the blandness, homogeneity and monotony of his characters. Now, I found Santiago’s personality to be enjoyable enough; Coehlo represented his longing for something beyond the fields of Andalusia, his metaphorical mind as well as his determination yet uncertainty in life well enough. I have no problem with Santiago, but it would be very nice if every character in the book weren’t Santiago. What character doesn’t believe in the universal language? Who ever challenges Santiago’s certainties? When is Santiago not only mistaken in the way he goes about pursuing his personal legend but in an integral part of his worldview? I will summarize all three with these words; ‘noone,’ ‘never,’ and, ‘never - again!’ Everyone in this book nods along to Santiago’s beliefs; if the universal language is so rare, why does everyone agree on it? The characters feel less like individuals and more like fourth-wall breaks for Coehlo to dump yet another underdeveloped idea on the reader or pat himself on the back about how everyone in a fictional world he made agrees with him. Maybe if one or two characters opposed Santiago’s beliefs, made him question, realign or maybe even change his worldview, The Alchemist would feel more like the philosophical contemplation it was marketed as and less like a spiritualist self-help book with a plot. Instead, however, Santiago accomplishes his personal legend and has each of his beliefs solidified by every single character in the book. Where’s the internal struggle? Where’s the idea that things may not always be as they seem, that humans make mistakes? Such themes are forgotten in the world of The Alchemist.

I give The Alchemist by Paulo Coehlo a 30%.

Conclusion/Review without spoilers

I had a rough time with this book. The wise, helpful, and insightful self-help it was sold as did not deliver on any of those qualities for me due to its portrayal of very subjective values as universal truths without any evidence or reasoning provided for them outside the universe of the book and poor writing. Despite all this, I understand how this book has helped many, especially those who already had beliefs similar to Coehlo’s. Beyond my relentless criticisms, The Alchemist is a hopeful fable of finding your purpose in the world. It may not have connected to me, but it is no coincidence that celebrities call it a favorite, that it’s a bestseller, and is beloved amongst many. This review evaluated The Alchemist’s objective value, to which I say that it is bad literature. Subjectively, though, it impacted so many people, it motivated, it inspired, and no matter how many bland characters, lazy writings and oversimplified answers it may have, I will forever admire The Alchemist for touching so many people. After all, what is literature but a communication of one’s self, of sharing that self with others for them to internalise and keep a personalised fragment of this person within them?

I recommend The Alchemist to those in need of a meaning in life, who don’t want to wade through dense prose and complex stories or characters. Sometimes, all we really need, all we really should have, is something that keeps us going in life. I’m sure The Alchemist will fulfil that for many, and for that, I am forever grateful.

#books #the alchemist #book review #paulo coelho

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the-final-sif · 4 years

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interview about writing processes

Hey Lady Sif,

thank you for taking time for us and agreeing to answer our interview questions.

Since this was of short notice we decided to change the deadline to June 19.

We hope the time frame suits you.

Here are our questions:

Can you shortly describe us your writing history? How did you start off? How did you come across fanfiction?

Do you have a writing philosophy that helps you overcome challenges in writing?

Could you describe your writing environment? (workplace, prefered writing tools, fandom discourse, discourse with friends)

What inspires you to write and post in and for a fandom? What triggers your headcanons? Does your educational background influence your writing?

In how far does your fandom experience influence your writing?

In how far do you work with others to create fan content? And what ideas do you integrate in your writing?

Are there certain steps you take/decisions you make when/before responding to a post/prompt?

When and why did you decide to host writing events like your fake fics event? What was the purpose and how did you approach the title prompts?

How would you describe the difference between writing alone and writing spontaneously with others (first in creating fan theories and headcanons and second in creating fanfiction)?

Do you think knowing that others read and can comment on your texts subconsciously influences your writing?

What motivated you to create a story where your readers can decide for an ending (name)?

Is there anything else you consider important in your writing process that you would like to tell us?

Thanks again for your time and effort, we are very much looking forward to your answers!

If you’re interested we’ll keep you updated on our findings.

Kind regards, Dana and Helena

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Can you shortly describe us your writing history? How did you start off? How did you come across fanfiction?

I started writing when I was very young! I was a huge reader, and even before I was writing stuff down I was a storyteller. It’s a really important part of my family & how we communicate with each others and others.

My first experience with fanfiction was when I was,, 7 or 8? That sounds about right. I hand wrote a fanfiction called “ShoppingCats” which something between warrior cats and Cats vs Dogs, but also made primarily of my OCs (+ a handful of warriors characters I liked). I still have most of it, it’s sitting in my desk drawer in it’s original binder, since my mother saved it.

I came across fandom spaces / online fanfiction in 2012 with fanfiction.net, and published my first fanfiction in 2013 (under Rosae-Sif on fanfiction.net). I’ve taken breaks as my interests changed & life got chaotic, but I’ve always enjoyed retelling stories that I hear and changing them to suit me more / explore new themes, so I’ve stuck with it after all this time.

Do you have a writing philosophy that helps you overcome challenges in writing?

Yes! I write for myself above all else. It’s fun to write stuff for other people sometimes, and I like getting feedback and what not, but I never let that be the focus of my writing. I always try to write what I want to be reading, so when I go back and reread what I’ve written, more often than not I find I’ve produced something that makes me happy, and that helps keep me going when a lot of other things couldn’t.

Could you describe your writing environment? (workplace, prefered writing tools, fandom discourse, discourse with friends)

Uhhh, I don’t really have any one set thing. I mostly write on my laptop, sometimes I use a notebook + pen. I have 5$ fountain pen that I got that I really love when I have writer’s block.

I think the most consistent “workplace” for me is actually discord/my friends. Almost all of my AUs/fics/ideas start as me storytelling (either typing things out or out loud) to someone else. That’s where the spark comes from, and then that slowly is refined through several iterations until I have something I like.

I really like taking long walks with headphones & nobody else around. That’s when a lot of the very early forms of my favorite ideas come to me. It’s a key part of my writing process the few times I get stuck on stuff too. I just go walk till I figure it out.

I don’t really get involved in discourse much. I like debating people, but I try to stay away from destructive stuff and just have my own fun corner where I create things. I’m in fandom for fun, and I refuse to let me experience be tainted by people who try to turn it into Discourse Central.

What inspires you to write and post in and for a fandom? What triggers your headcanons? Does your educational background influence your writing?

As I mentioned before, I write and post primarily for myself! I have a lot of ideas in my head all the time, and things I want to see, so I create those things and then put them here. It’s fun when other people interact with me + add onto my ideas + create things in response!

My headcanons are usually just kinda,,,, coming out of my brain. I think it’s just how I am. I have a question or a thought and I start looking into it and before I know it, a whole new thing has come out of it.

I think my family actually influenced a lot of my writing style more than anything else. I mean, I was homeschooled for a long time, and my parents were very encouraging of whatever weird projects I was creating (my dad once even let me cut down and drag actual brambles into the basement to create a warriors style fort). I was allowed to dress however I wanted (during high school I worn nothing but PJ pants b/c they were most comfy for me, and also I had/have several capes that I would rotate through), I was allowed to dye my hair (still do! it’s current a side shave in red + purple + blue!), and I was encouraged to just,,, be weird and happy. I think that shows in how I write. I pursue the ideas I want to go after, I indulge myself, I commit to thinks and I focus more on what I want to write rather than what I feel I should write.

That being said, a lot of science nerding that comes out in my writing is def from my educational background. I’ve got a bachelors and stuff. I did take some writing classes, but to be honest, I think my fanfiction experience influenced those a lot more than they influenced my fanfiction (years and years of writing constantly and quickly paid off in college where I would BS papers the night before and get top marks on it).

In how far does your fandom experience influence your writing?

Hmm, I don’t think it does that much? I mean, for the BNHA fandom in particular, I think that seeing all the cool content + ideas other people create really keeps my brain chugging along and creating new things, and god, having seen people make fanart and fanfiction for my stories has been one of the best feelings I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t think that’s really changed how I’m writing.

At my core, I’m still doing the same thing my 8 year old self was doing with her pencil and that binder full of paper. I take the strange thoughts out of my head, and I follow them onto the paper until I create something that makes me happy.

I’ve had some negative experiences of course. I mean, everyone does. They’ve all been fairly minor, mostly just people trying to tell me I’m wrong about stuff that’s either in an AU that’s already not supposed to be canon, or stuff I’m right about. Most of the time it’s just annoying. Sometimes it’s concerning. I ignore or delete the annoying stuff, I don’t want to give it any of my time or attention.

The concerning stuff I try to reply to. It’s been rare, but sometimes I get comments on certain fics trying to tell me what’s being depicted in my fic isn’t abusive when it absolutely is. I try to correct that and link to resources when I do get that. I usually don’t get a reply, but a few times I’ve had people realize that what they thought was normal was actually abusive behavior. I’m happy that I’m able to help people come to that realization.

In how far do you work with others to create fan content? And what ideas do you integrate in your writing?

Hmmm, I’ll be honest, I’m not quite sure how to answer this one. I don’t exactly work with others when creating my fan content? All of my writing (save one RP collab homestuck fic from ages ago) is done by me exclusively, and most my ideas are also mostly from my own brain. Although I will say one exception to that is @windschildfanfictionwriter whose an amazing bnha writer I chat with fairly frequently when I need help figuring something out.

It’s less of “working” with people, and more discussing things/ideas, and being excited about stuff. Sometimes literally all I need is someone to be my rubber duck while I talk about an idea for 2-3 hours to get it solidified. People in my discord server often help me by betaing (editing/reviewing) my wips. My adhd means I often make weird mistakes, and they’re wonderful at helping me catch that.

As for ideas I pull into my writing, it’s hard to pick out specific ones. I think I kinda create + absorb + integrate lots of stuff at once. A lot of the times my ideas don’t come from things other authors write, but instead come from things other authors didn’t write. When I see an thought/idea/thread in a story that isn’t followed up on, or isn’t handled how I think it should be handled, that often inspires me to either use a similar base concept or similar thought but in the way I wish it had been done.

Are there certain steps you take/decisions you make when/before responding to a post/prompt?

Not really? I tend to just go with whatever comes to me or what I already had prepared. I’m rather impulsive, so unless it’s a delicate subject matter, I roll with whatever’s going on.

I do always make myself take a step back before responding to stuff that annoys me/any sort of anon hate. I have to remind myself it’s not worth the effort and I should focus on positive/fun stuff. I’ll admit though, I have a very combative nature that can get the better of me sometimes. I’ve gotten better at that though! Hooray for proper adhd medication to help prevent destructive stimulus seeking behavior and therapy! Although I do still like to debate stuff for fun, I just don’t let myself get hostile about it.

When and why did you decide to host writing events like your fake fics event? What was the purpose and how did you approach the title prompts?

Oh, I just saw the post and thought it looked fun so I reblogged it. Stuff like that is mostly an impulse more than anything else.

I just kinda went with the flow for the titles. God, I got so many of those, I still have a lot of them sitting in my inbox, most of which I probably won’t ever post. For the ones I did do though, I picked ones that sounded like fic titles I would actually use, and then asked myself what sort of story I would use that title for. Then I just kinda wrote whatever came to me.

How would you describe the difference between writing alone and writing spontaneously with others (first in creating fan theories and headcanons and second in creating fanfiction)?

Hmmm. This one is also a bit hard. It’s rare I truly “write alone”, most of my stories start as a form of oral storytelling and then are adapted to “proper” writing. Most of my theories/headcanons start the same way.

You’ll notice a lot of my posts start with “Also” “Okay” or “I’ve been thinking” or “You know”. When I’m writing my headcanon/theory posts, it’s all written very conversationally because I’m still following my family’s storytelling in a way. It’s a public post, but I’m not just making statements to a void. I’m still talking to people, addressing them, leading them through stuff. It’s just how I communicate on a very fundamental leave.

I’m still writing for myself, I’m creating for myself, but I’m doing it with others. I’m telling a story constantly, and sometimes I’m telling that story to myself, but I’m still telling it to someone.

I think you can read that in my fics, with the perspective I tend to use. I use limited third person POV, but when I’m writing, I try to write it how the character I’m writing from the POV of would tell their own story. I’m not just describing what’s happening, I’m letting this character tell their story through their own voice, to others, to me. It’s a core part of my writing, and that makes it hard to say that it was ever really written alone.

Do you think knowing that others read and can comment on your texts subconsciously influences your writing?

I mean, it’d be impossible for it not to. But I don’t think it influences me that much. I’m still writing for myself most of the time, and I hold onto my bullshit tightly. I don’t change my writing based on what I think other people want to see from me.

That being said, it’s still something I think about. It’s more of a conscious choice, but specifically regarding my stories that have abuse in them, I try to connect in elements of realism and common underrepresented traits/habits of abuse (which I do try to check via research when I can) and ensure that they are then called out as what they are. I’ve gotten a number of comments/asks/discord messages from people telling me that my works helped them realize they were in a crappy situation / understand what they were going through, and that’s something that’s important for me.

I think The Green Eyed Monster is an example of that, where I explore platonic stalking/obsession/pressuring. It’s something I don’t see taken seriously often enough, so I wanted to frame it in a serious but realistic light and make it clear that what was happening was wrong and harmful. I wanted to explore this concept, but I purposefully did it in a way that I hoped would help others who might’ve dealt with it on some level understand it for what it was, and I think it really shows. In the comments of that fic, there’s a lot of very personal responses/stories from people who went through similar experiences. I think that’s important, so it’s something I try to do when I can.

The other thing is I do 100% put references/lines in certain stories with an evil grin on my face knowing that a certain handful of my commenters are going to rip their hair out over it, either because they have no idea what I mean by it, or they know exactly what I mean by it. But hey, I’m a hurt/comfort writer at heart, so you can hardly blame me.

What motivated you to create a story where your readers can decide for an ending (name)?

Oh, uh, “Seven Year Old Katsuki Has The Ability To Kill A Grown Man And No Concept Of Legality”.

I actually can’t remember the exact inspiration for this one? I think I saw uhhh, Markiplier, playing a text adventure game, and I got curious about creating something similar.

I considered using a platform meant for text based games, but true to my family’s long history of needlessly complicating things and creating things where they aren’t meant to be created out of some mix of spite and creative hubris, I decided I wanted to make it on A03 instead. I looked up a style formatting guide, and went to work.

That whole project took like 1-2 months, around school work and everything else. It was created entirely using links that sent you to the next page. That’s it. That’s the only ‘code’ functionality I had to work with. So I made a whole paper map of the routes, separating them out into “steps” and then created unique text blocks for each step based on prior choices. I used a secret point system for one of the main routes, and ended up with 97 unique steps, and 155 different text blocks/variations.

Fun project. A03 was having some trouble/going down right after I released it, and to this day, certain members of the discord server still blame me for that as I was forcing the website into bullshit it was not meant to contain.

Is there anything else you consider important in your writing process that you would like to tell us?

Nothing I can think of off the top of my head. Other than maybe I have an African Gray named Cecil, and sometimes when I’m not ready to share an idea with humans, I’ll talk it out with him first. He’s an excellent listener sometimes, and by that I mean he’s usually ignoring me or I’m giving him scratches and he’s not paying my rambling any mind.

Though sometimes I get lucky and when I finish up a point and ask for his opinion, he’ll just look at me for a moment and say “I love you.” He does it because I’ll always cave and give him treats since I’m weak for him, but it still makes me smile.

#sif speaks #sif answers #my writing #long post #if there's anything else #just let me know!#submission

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diveronaevents · 4 years

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AUTHOR: Rogue

MENTIONED: ORSINO, ROSALINE, JULIET

TRIGGERS: Discussions of past torture/bodily injury, PTSD

SUMMARY: After taking some time to reflect, ROSALINE and ORSINO make a plan to leave Verona. As of MAY 23rd, ROSALINE and ORSINO are permanently in Amsterdam in order to take the city for the Capulets. Rosey will no longer be writing Rafaella in any capacity, but Rogue will continue to write Orion in an extremely limited one (occasional phone calls, emergency visits from characters to Amsterdam should you wish it, etc).

The positions of SPETTRO and ADVISOR are now open. Currently, Cosimo and VOLUMNIA are reviewing candidates for the ADVISOR position. If your character is interested in the SPETTRO position, you are welcome to think about their development, and also to send those thoughts to the main so we can discuss them! Thank you for bearing with us as we figured this out!

The sounds of the city below are a low hum he’s learned to tune out. It’s calm tonight, very few sirens, no drunken raucous to be found as he listens to Rafaella’s quiet breaths, feeling them as her chest rises and falls beneath his head.

He used to hold her like this often. Orion has no issue in the switching of position; it’s the why that trips him up, stealing one of the rare nights of peace until the quiet buzzes like a wasp’s nest in his mind.

She runs her hands through his hair and it feels different. The long nails she used to wear haven’t yet grown back, the foundation slow if they want her hands to eventually be strong and healthy again. She won’t ask, but she feels more than hears her hum as she presses her lips to his temple a moment. He sighs.

“Today was bad.” That’s putting it delicately, but it’s not untrue. Rafaella makes that tiny hum again, but her focus has shifted entirely from her book. It’s set aside on the end-table now, her formerly preoccupied hand finding his so she can link their fingers together. They’re very unlike each other in this one specific way, for all the things they share. When Rafaella tries to hide her hurts from him at first, trying to protect herself or him in some immeasurable way, Orion has no issue sharing his.

He outlines it clearly: there will be no intensive movement of his shoulder for the next twelve months. Were he to do so, he would certainly lose any range of motion, and may end up paralyzed. There are other, more minor hurts that will still take an awful lot of time to heal, but this is the most egregious. This is the injury that debilitates him in the eyes of her Uncle, and Orion has an awful sinking feeling in his chest that he tries to ignore.

(Will it debilitate him in the eyes of Rafaella, too? He’s never worried about this before. He’s never been weak.)

Orion laughs with no bitterness, genuinely amused by how thoroughly Marcelo has decimated him. “They’re really good at their job, hm?” He blinks up at Rafaella, almost coquettish. “I have a type. Competent with a shitty home life.”

Rafaella lets go of his hand and runs a finger down the bridge of his nose before tapping once, lightly. “Don’t forget beautiful.”

“Yes, and works of art. The triad.”

Her mouth twitches at the corners, soft and fond but still reserved compared to several months previous. His Rafaella is quieter, now. He finds he doesn’t mind.

“How long,” he asks calmly, “until Capulet disposes of me?”

The hand in his hair freezes.

“He’s not a man to take kindly to wasted resources,” Orion continues, blithe, even as he reaches for her hand again. He squeezes until Rafaella squeezes back, until he has awareness that she’s listening again. “I’ll certainly be demoted, but I could handle that. It’s the rest that has me on edge.”

Rafaella shifts him off of her so she can look him in the eye. She doesn’t let go of his hand, warm and solid in his. “You are not disposable.” Her eyes are red. He wants to kiss them at the corners.

“Not to you,” he reminds her. “Not to some.” It’s not good enough, not if Capulet is truly headed for war. “I know too much, and there’s no way to ensure my compliance if I’m not being paid for anything. There’s no reason to pay me if I’m not doing anything, and I’m not the right person to be an emissary, even if they weren’t leaning more into fights lately. Two plus two equalling four, the easiest solution would be — “

“No.” This is practically a snarl. Rafaella’s gaze is biting, some of her former venom appearing in the way she bares her teeth with the sound.

He waits. Her mind is so sharp, twisting and unfurling until it blooms with new ideas, potent strategy, or something witty and bold. He wishes he could listen to her think, sometimes. He wants to be in that maze, curve around the edges, hug the walls until he finds her waiting for him at the center.

If he’s realized something, it cannot be long until she realizes it too.

There. He finds it in her eyes, when anger becomes defeat and quickly rallies into determination. “That’s not happening.”

“Of course not.” Orion smiles.

It must be contagious, because her lips curve too, shaking her head. She has far less faith in her ability than he does, but that’s fine. Orion has never been over-burdened with insecurity, but some have said he may be overwhelmed by overconfidence.

If he splits some with Rafaella, it will balance.

“Since it’s not, though,” he points out, “we’re going to have to do something about it, and I don’t have anything in mind.” His head is still fuzzy, sometimes. Things don’t come with perfect clarity. He has been assured that they will, after extensive scans of his brain, but that will come slowly, too. His treasured independence has been cast aside in favor of being coddled and taken care of, and he doesn’t mind half as much as he should, so long as it’s Maeve or Rafaella doing the caring.

She brings their hands up to kiss his knuckles, her gaze very far away.

“I might,” Rafaella admits. Orion never doubted it. “Give me some time.”

When Rafaella Capulet tenders her resignation as Cosimo’s advisor, it does not go the way anyone thinks it will.

That it happens at all is a shock to the bloodstream for almost everyone.

She attends three meetings in the span of a day, one public, one revealed but under the guise of being secretive, and one that is truly kept from the world at large. There are other goodbyes, of course. Other meetings to be had for herself and Orion both, other tender words to share with those who love them and are loved in return, other stolen moments where the pair can be themselves and acknowledge what they’re giving up.

But first, it goes like this:

Near dawn, Rafaella and Juliana Capulet share espresso in Orion’s kitchen. He would call it their kitchen, but she still can’t believe that, can’t hold onto it without fearing she’ll break it. Orion’s house, Orion’s kitchen. She’s an invader he refuses to get rid of.

They talk at length, until the sun is high in the sky and Orion has left for physical therapy. What they speak of, it’s too soon to tell. What they plan for, only the two of them know. In the end, they simply hold each other, holding tight for a very long time, all the while knowing that even when separated, family doesn’t truly end.

Hugs do, though, and finding solace in one another will never quite be the same.

Next, Orion and Rafaella go together to meet two non-descript men in a simple cafe. Nothing is ostentatious, everything quiet, their heads bent low. The Montagues and Capulets alike who pass them by hear Orion and this man conversing in stilted, passable Dutch. When the two men depart, the couple seem extremely satisfied, Rafaella curling around Orion like a cat stretching toward the sun.

The third, of course, is the hardest. Meeting with Cosimo Capulet is never easy. Telling your Uncle you’re leaving him behind is infinitely worse.

Somehow, though, she manages it. She stands strong as she calmly explains their reasoning. Both Orion and Rafaella have been torn apart by this war, bloody and raw, but she doesn’t point that out. They have been nearly broken, slashed into so many times they’re shells of their former selves in so many ways, but these are not reasons that will impress Capulet. And so, with Orion’s hand tight in hers, she lies.

She lies about the up and coming organized crime groups in Amsterdam. She explains the disorganized and chaotic nature of the warring gangs, of how many have fallen victim to hubris and the law. She opens his eyes to a world of her own creation, where Amsterdam has a power vacuum in dire need of filling, and the Capulets desperately need allies if they’re going to win this war without dying out in the process. She spins and spins her web around him with enough half-truths and persuasive words to bring glory to his thoughts, and all the while, Orion’s hand stays in hers.

A role better suited to our current position, she admits, letting the hint of vulnerability in her show for just a moment. Or should I say our current predicament?

It’s easier than she wants it to be. Selfishly, desperately, she wants him to fight for her to stay. Rafaella has been accepted as his family; should he not fight to keep his family together? Yet he considers it with almost cerebral calm, like he’s watching a chess game rather than thinking of the future of his family, and Rafaella’s heart hardens.

When Verona implodes around him, when his throne is viciously stolen, when everything he’s built flourishes while he crumbles himself, Rafaella tells herself she will not be sorry.

#torture tw #torture mention tw #ptsd tw #ptsd mention tw #injury tw #a bittersweet farewell!#diveronadevelopment

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letterboxd · 4 years

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Horse Power.

The Nest’s writer-director Sean Durkin talks about creating atmosphere, watching films without judgment, and the best movies of 1986.

Downfalls in Hollywood movies tend to be chaotic, dramatic and a lot of fun along the way. From Citizen Kane to The Wolf of Wall Street, outsized ambitions are realized on screen in castles, exotic holidays, wild parties, sweeping us up in the extravagance of it all, before the inevitable crash. The Nest takes a slower, far more British view of ambition and its effects on family—or, as Charlie writes, “this movie is a reminder that people who call themselves entrepreneurs should instead be stay-at-home dads”.

The new film from writer-director Sean Durkin, the brain behind cult-survivor slow-burn Martha Marcy May Marlene, is less “strap in and enjoy the ride”, more “slow disintegration of all sense of sanity”—a tense psychological drama focused on the person who usually gets hurt the most: the wife. And that horse-lovin’ dream wife Allison, as played by Carrie Coon, is a character to behold (and the subject of many obsessive The Nest reviews on Letterboxd).

Just as Durkin takes time to carefully explore Martha’s vulnerability in his earlier film, in The Nest, he closes in on Allison, as she and their children adjust to 1980s life in an English manor, far from the comfort of Allison’s American home, while wheeler-dealer husband Rory (Jude Law) chases a new opportunity.

There are thematic similarities in both films; a case to be made that ambitious men wreak a comparable mental destruction on their families as cult leaders do on their followers, breaking them down with charm, persuasion, false promises. There’s also something about the juxtaposition of periods in the film—the fifteenth-century manor vs the ’80s bangers on the soundtrack—that adds to The Nest’s unnerving atmosphere (other parts of the soundtrack are composed by Arcade Fire’s Richard Reed Parry in his first film-score credit).

Keen to understand more about Durkin’s influences and memories, Jack Moulton put him through the Letterboxd Life in Film interrogation.

Carrie Coon as Allison O’Hara in ‘The Nest’.

The Nest feels like a very personal film. In what ways are the emotions of the premise personal to you? When I was making Southcliffe in 2012, I was back in England where I spent my childhood and I hadn’t been back in close to twenty years. It really struck me how London and New York felt very similar now but they didn’t when I was a kid. I thought maybe I wanted to make a film about a family that moves in that time and how a move can affect a family. As I wrote the script, I became a parent, so it became as much a reflection of modern adulthood as it did about my childhood in the ’80s. Although it’s a period piece, I wanted to make it feel very close to today to look at the celebrated values of the time and how those are still very relevant.

The mansion the family moves into is the titular ‘nest’, and the use of space and atmosphere contribute so much to the film’s subtext. What were you looking for when location scouting for the house? Was it an easy or difficult process? Yeah, it was difficult. It was like doing an open casting call. I had a very specific idea in my head but [my production designer] was able to put it into actual architectural terms so we were able to find a house that a successful commodities broker would live and commute from in Surrey. We needed something beyond that, but if you go too far, you get small castles. Once we located the right exterior, there were a bunch of [houses] that would’ve been great, but when we got inside, there were no open spaces. I wanted to have long hallways to be able to see through multiple rooms to create that isolation—the opposite of the cozy American house that they were living in before, to really highlight the good life they left behind.

Carrie Coon and Jude Law in ‘The Nest’.

We love the soundtrack; not just the choice of songs but the way that they’re mixed. Can you give us some insight into the song selection? When writing, I build a playlist that I write to. This one was a mix of personal memories from childhood—like Simply Red, which takes me back to falling asleep in the back of my dad’s car—so there’s a way into writing there on a sensory level, and then I build upon it with songs that I love from the time. I was listening to Richard Reed Parry’s Music for Heart and Breath album a lot and he ended up being the composer of the film, so his music was always part of the heart of the movie as I was writing it.

I would spend my drives to set with my assistant talking about music and he would turn me onto some stuff that would make it into the movie. It was a mix of a long-running preparation and things that I pick up in the moment then making that all work at the right level so it feels of the world. Like with The Cure, we actually played that off a tape cassette when Allison walks into the room.

Since your debut feature in 2011, you’ve had a prolific career in television and as a film producer; you’re a founding member of Borderline Films with fellow directors Antonio Campos and Josh Mond. Do you see yourself more as a producer who only occasionally directs films yourself? No, I don’t really consider myself a producer. I’ve produced movies for filmmakers and friends and I help people where I can. I’m not someone who’s out getting properties and thinking about how to put together a film, I’m only thinking about my own work as a writer and a director. Between finishing Southcliffe in 2013 and The Nest in 2018, I had a five-year gap where I was developing lots of projects one after the other—two features and a television show—that were both so close to [being greenlit] but something fell through, which was really bad luck.

What film made you want to become a filmmaker? The Goonies and Back to the Future were those movies as a kid that first made me want to make movies and tell stories, but the moment where I realized what filmmaking is was seeing The Shining. I saw it for the first time when I was eleven or twelve and a friend showed it to me because his older brother had the VHS. It was my first time understanding atmosphere and direction and I just had a sense that I could do it too. It was a really crucial moment, and I kept that thought to myself for a very long time.

Cinematographer Mátyás Erdély shoots Carrie Coon in Soho.

What’s your scariest film that is not technically horror? AKA, your area of expertise. Oh man, scariest? Something I’ve watched recently is The Vanishing and it’s probably one of the most unsettling films I’ve ever seen. It was incredible to rewatch it because I’d last seen it when I was in college—I watched everything back then—and I’d also seen the American remake, so when I watched it this time, I was trying to remember things [that were different] from the remake. I was like “he’s gonna get out, right?—oh no, that’s in the American version!” I find it an astonishing movie. There’s a real human element to the pain of the killer.

Let’s nerd out: what’s your top film of 1986, the year that The Nest is set? [Laughs] I’ve no idea what came out in 1986. Can I look up a list and I’ll tell you? Let’s see, films of 1986… This is fun! Alright, “popular films of 1986” I’m seeing: Blue Velvet, Short Circuit, Stand by Me, Platoon, The Color of Money, what else have we got here? River’s Edge… Pretty in Pink… Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—Ferris Bueller’s gotta be up there. Big Trouble in Little China! That’s it! I’m sure there’s other things, but from my quick search, I’d say Big Trouble in Little China. That was a movie that was always on in my house because it was one of my dad’s all-time favorites.

Which is Jude Law’s best performance? I love The Talented Mr. Ripley so much. I constantly rewatch that movie—it’s perfect. I also loved him in Vox Lux recently.

Sean Durkin and Jude Law on the set of ‘The Nest’.

What is the best film about marriage and why does it resonate with you? Shoot the Moon was really influential for me. I’d say it’s a bit more about divorce and family than it is about marriage but [it depends on] if you take the ending to mean that they’re going to stay together—I kind of do. You could say a separation is part of a marriage. I love that movie for how it finds light in humor. Albert Finney is struggling with his masculinity where, even though he’s the one who left, he still thinks he owns it all, and Diane Keaton is quite liberated by this scenario. It’s like their journey to find language again. I find it very beautiful.

Which film was your entry-point into international cinema? I’m trying to think back to what I would’ve seen, there certainly wasn’t a lot growing up. In college I really discovered Michael Haneke and Michelangelo Antonioni. L’Avventura made a huge impact on me. I think [because of the way] the mystery kind of dissolves and it’s about the journey, not the solution.

What film do you wish you’d made? I don’t. Filmmaking is personal and it’s so much an expression of perspective when done with care and love—though obviously, there’s stuff that’s just churned out. I never see something and say “I wish I made that”. One of the things I find hard is when people critique films and say they would’ve done this differently. I’ve become very sensitive to that over time because every choice you make as a filmmaker is so specific and thought out. I try to consume movies without knowing anything about them or making any kind of judgment. I just let them be what they are and wash over me.

Which newcomer director should we all keep our eyes on? I don’t think I’m looking out for new stuff necessarily. Once I get to see something, everyone else already knows about it. One person I would say is Dave Franco, who I just worked with on The Rental. I was an executive producer and I was a creative bounce-board for Dave through the process. It’s his first film and it’s astonishingly directed. We were getting dailies from the first week and we were like, “This is his first movie? This is insane!” I think he will do some exciting things.

Finally, what’s your favorite film of 2020 so far? I was absolutely blown away by Eliza Hittman’s film Never Rarely Sometimes Always. I miss having retrospectives at local theaters, which I’m always keyed into no matter the city I’m living in. I’ve started watching a lot of Criterion Channel and I watched a movie recently that’s taken over my brain: Variety, by Bette Gordon, from 1983. It’s set in New York City around Times Square, and it’s this incredible journey that this woman goes on that captured my mind.

Related content

Sean Durkin’s Life in Film list

Sean Durkin’s Sight & Sound Top 10

Clarissa’s list of films that burn slowly

Everything Carrie Coon watched during quarantine (and the best of that huge list)

Tracy Letts and Carrie Coon’s 24-Hour Movie Marathon

Follow Jack on Letterboxd

#sean durkin #the nest #film director #filmmaker #jude law #carrie coon #slow burn #psychological thriller #letterboxd #life in film #martha marcy may marlene

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tact-and-impulse · 4 years

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behind the scenes

I was so busy, but this blog is 5 years old! To commemorate, I’ll share notes and thoughts on some of the stuff I’ve written, like a behind the scenes look. Also, I’ll do anything to not think about my apartment right now.

Eating Together, Drinking Alone

Originally, Hiko was going to be responsible for some of the foreigner killings, but I thought this was too close to Kenshin’s past and it made more sense for his backstory that no one could personally be blamed. It’s easier to blame a specific person, something less abstract, and a different kind of personality would result from that trajectory. For Hiko, who removes himself from the world, the world itself had to be at fault. A natural disaster seemed to fit.

I expanded on Tae’s personality, since I think what we see in canon is her customer service face. It’s the nicest, most self-effacing version of oneself. She’s still pleasant of course, but she’s also brave and lively and that’s the side I wanted to showcase more. Not drastically different from her public face, but a different face regardless.

I never intended for Hiko and Tae to kiss. Sorry! Part of it was that a lot of period dramas don’t necessarily have kissing, and part of it was while I was writing it, I wasn’t really thinking of them together in a physical sense. I was more focused on their emotional connection and actually getting Tae to fall for him. Also, with how intensely private Hiko is, any intimate scenes would be fade-to-black.

I fully believe that kids aren’t a requisite for a happy ending, and I hint that Tae would probably have fertility struggles anyway because her sister and mom did. However! If they did have a kid together in an AU, I imagine it’d be a daughter who’s ambitious and confident and the epitome of “hi I’m here to ruin everything”.

The line “You’re not business, Sekihara” caught me by surprise when I was rereading earlier this year, because I don’t remember writing that? But it’s so swoon-worthy? Damn, good job, past me.

In the epilogue, when Keita mentions “Aoshi and the girls”, that was supposed to be a setup for a work about the kids. So, Aoshi and Misao have three daughters, who are rowdy and energetic and exactly what their dad deserves lmao. They’re a bit on the younger end, closer in age to Keita and Sumire. Their names were Narumi, Ruriko, and Sorano!

The Master and Her Pet

The master of the other dojo in the tournament, Ishii, makes a cameo in At Arm’s Length, in one of Koshijiro’s teenage flashbacks!

From what I recall, the alcohol that Sano sent them is sombai, which is a strong liquor with herbs. I’ve never had it, I just read descriptions of the taste. It seemed to be suitable because I imagine he’d be in the part of the world it comes from, and since it’s a rice based liquor, it would be palatable to them.

One of the reviews thought that Hitomi is pregnant but she’s not. Tbh she’s down to smash any time, but Kazumasa would never have sex before marriage. Also, it’s funny that while the guys are in the parlor, having a deep conversation about what it means to be a good husband, the girls are upstairs talking about the logistics of 69′ing.

With These Hands

Things may seem off in regards to Kaoru’s residency, but that’s because I used the Japanese version, which is different than here in America, and because I was younger then, so I didn’t know as much about the process. I’ll probably rewrite and fix things around when I have time!

I kinda threw Soujiro under the bus, but I wanted to use him as a stand-in for what someone told me. Over the years, I’ve also realized that while it may be true, I’ve been more receptive to the same advice when it comes from a woman, because it’s a matter of firsthand experience. Otherwise, it just sounds like the person is contributing to the problem, despite their intentions.

There’s an in-story reason why Kenshin is so forward towards Kaoru, and it’s not necessarily romantic (at first), but yeah, it’s on purpose!

At Arm’s Length

To be honest, I don’t put a lot of stock in Freudian psychology, but it’s not coincidental that some of Koshijiro’s personality is similar to Kenshin’s. They’re both introspective, protective, idealistic, peace-loving. It’s the kind of personality that would believe in Kamiya Kasshin and its success.

Hayashi rice was a thing around this time, and the wine in it would have been off-putting to Koshijiro.

I wanted to explore why Koshijiro would fight for an end to the shogunate’s oppression, and the logical conclusion was that his mom was a commoner. Also, it made sense for his name. Miyo had just turned 20 when she had Koshijiro, and Keiichiro was in his 30s. I do have an idea for an omake about how they met, once the main story is done.

I’ve dropped some hints but Kyoko has lupus. When I was first starting the story, I didn’t really have a good idea on what her affliction was, but as I learned more, it really fit what I wanted for her (chronic, fatiguing, possibly explaining why Kaoru’s an only child, and eventually fatal at a young age in historical times).

Kyoko fell for Koshijiro when he said he wouldn’t forget her name. She’s used to being shut away and isolated, so that little reassurance meant a great deal to her. It was a crush that deepened when he got the books for her, and she cried a lot when he had to leave.

Kyoko’s parents are supposed to be a contrast to Koshijiro’s. Her parents have fallen out of love and now hardly tolerate the other’s presence, but aren’t able to separate without harming Kyoko in some way (though their staying together makes her tense too). Meanwhile, Miyo and Keiichiro can’t physically be with each other, but they’re still immensely fond of and attracted to the other. Koshijiro is just awkward around them because he doesn’t know how to deal.

I’ve written the last line already, like in 2017? So, yeah, there’s no way I’m dropping this story.

Life’s Blood and Burning Sunsets

Akane’s cousin in the WWII AU was intended to be Kagari. RIP.

I was originally going to write a spinoff about Aya, as an Inspector investigating Akane’s sudden disappearance and finding out that Kougami was her dad, but it looks like canon is going in a different (less angsty for the OTP) direction and I’m on board! Aya’s name is written as “truth”, though I imagine it’s a popular name for her generation, except written as “color”. Also unintentional, but I didn’t realize until recently that her name has the A from Akane and the -ya from Shinya. Lol.

Storm Clouds of a Faraway Sky

In Chapter 3, the rice riots really were a thing! The chaotic atmosphere fit the riots from Season 1, so it made sense to set the story in that specific year.

I stayed up until 2 am to write the last prompt and man, I don’t regret it. I still reread it now and then.

Puzzle

Originally, my gut reaction to this scene was “They’re married! They’re married!” But logically, that’s probably not the case. This was to just reconcile the two lines of thought. Having Arata as our narrator made sense because he’s an outsider, he doesn’t really know either of them, so he’s working from the ground up. And of course, there’s room to speculate.

Stouthearted

I don’t know how many people will catch this, but the way I write Tomoyo for most of the story is that she’s essentially wearing a mask. More specifically, the mask of Satoru. In my mind, she’s internalized him so well and for so long, it’s difficult even for her to drop it. Her true personality is very straightforward and direct. It comes out in little moments like when she’s crying at night, or the scene when she says “I didn’t like it when Shinya started, and I still don’t.” I was going to reveal this via a flashback when she met with Professor Saiga at some point, and he notices this, which instigates her strong dislike of him. But I couldn’t find a way to naturally put it in. Maybe as a separate oneshot someday?

#personal #writing #rurouni kenshin #psycho pass

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piercebaron · 4 years

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anime and manga differences: episode 12

Think of this as a sequel to this post, though there’s going to be less meta on adaptation and more chatting about what got cut. There are some allusions to spoilers from later in the manga (chapters 40 and 46, specifically!), so be warned.

I’m slowly working my way through the official English releases and was bemoaning earlier about how some of my favorite bits from the whole academy arc got cut. I also realized that a number of people following this blog have maybe only seen the anime, so! I wanted to dive into what was changed.

Up until episode 12, which is the episode that kicks off the whole academy arc and really digs into the meat of the story, the anime didn’t really cut that much from the manga. Episode 7 was filler, with Hina and Lynn meeting for the first time and having their great cook-off, though that incorporates elements of Hina’s character that actually show up later in the manga. They also make some changes to Sonohara’s entrance, including showing the pilot of the chopper (which. I won’t spoil, if you’re not familiar, but it’s shocking to say the least).

Episode 12 is where they really start to cut and make changes, subbing in some characters for others and folding arcs together. It covers chapter 13 up until halfway through chapter 15, so it has a lot of ground to cover.

Big change #1: Jail fights with Tokikaze, not Douan.

In the manga, Tokikaze encounters the group outside, just after they see Sonohara and Rihito walk inside. He and Jail get into it, and this spurs the rivalry they have throughout this arc. This is where Jail first realizes he can’t use his ballot.

The anime has Jail scuffle with Douan instead, and Tokikaze later intervenes. This honestly does wonders for Douan’s character, especially with how the anime has been structured where it’s ending with his big battle. We’re immediately introduced to Douan as an antagonistic force and his connection to Sonohara. Originally, the first time we see Douan is when he steals Sonohara’s stars in chapter 16.

This scene is in the anime! We get it in episode 13. But unlike the manga, it's just a continuation of Douan being a bully whereas in the original, it's our first real look at Douan. And instead of bumping into girls and picking fights with Jail, he's just straight up antagonizing Sonohara right out the gate. It's interesting! I feel like the anime allows us to have more time with Douan early on and builds up the emotional gut punch that is his relationship with Licht.

(a small note: the anime does later have Douan be way more antagonistic, especially towards Sonohara, but that's scattered throughout the arc and as of writing this, I haven't gotten to those chapters in my review, so. you know.)

What we lose out on, though, is Tokikaze stuff. Jail and Tokikaze's rivalry is never really established beyond a brief bout of bickering before the enrollment ceremony in the anime, so his actions later on when it comes to giving his stars to him don't quite have the same punch.

In fairness though, their relationship hasn't really been a focal point since that arc ended, so uh. Maybe nothing was really lost? It was just nice seeing the nuances of these two characters as they bounced off of each other.

Big change #2: When we first really see Rihito.

Here's my big confession: I'm really not into the ecchi parts of Plunderer. I joke a lot about how horny Minazuki is and how GeekToys are even more so, but also it detracts from what is a genuinely compelling story with a lot of heart and some really, really great characters. It's just not my cuppa! I try not to critique that part too much because it's very much an opinion thing, but.

But hoo boy does it factor in here.

This is when we first really meet Rihito Sakai in the anime! And he's . . . staring up Hina's skirt. This is a parallel to the first chapter / episode, yes, where our first introduction to Licht is him looking up Hina's skirt. Full circle storytelling-wise and whatnot!

It plays out differently in the manga. We don't see Rihito again until he interrupts the chaotic enrollment ceremony, holding Schmerman "hostage." And it's one hell of an entrance, especially with how Minazuki lays out his panels. I'm going to paste the rest here, because words don't really do it justice.

How can someone so efficiently reintroduce their main character in just a few pages? Rihito is immediately endearing and foolhardy while still being the same dolt we know and love at heart. This is the first time we really see him, so it's the first taste we get of Rihito's good nature, despite the fact that he's, well, a perverted moron.

My own personal eyerolling aside, you don't get quite the same "oomph" from the anime's introduction.

Big change #3: Pele.

look, you all knew I was gonna be biased as hell in writing this.

Sonohara's introduction is the first glimpse we get of Pele maybe not exactly being who he says he is, what with him instantly reacting to the Secret Service agents about to shoot Lynn. Throughout the academy arc, he starts stepping up more and, in the process, there are more subtle hints that he knows more than he says he knows. A lot of his stuff got cut/streamlined for time.

In the anime, he does some off-screen investigating and then leads Jail and the others to a computer where he does a brief info dump. In the manga, this plays out a bit differently in that he appeals directly to Alan, immediately feeding him a story about the four of them being from the boonies and gosh, where could they get some more information?

and then this leads to what is the funniest exchange and what sold me on this manga entirely.

Pele controls the computer from then on -- he's reading through a computer how-to book in that last panel above, for the record. And he's pretty careful, all in all! It really does seem like he's learning along with the rest of them and doesn't know a thing. But this is really when we start getting blatant hints that there's something up with Pele.

Some of that makes it in, like his brief exchange with Tokikaze in episode 13 asking him who he'll steal stars from. There's something darker about it in the manga, though.

. . . though I really do love this scene in the english dub, especially with how his voice darkens at that line.

Most of Pele’s stuff from this arc gets cut for time, though. Later, after Jail leaves young!Nana’s room, he doesn’t run into Alan. Instead, he reconvenes with Hina, Lynn, and Pele and the four of them watch Nana’s video together -- at which point Alan busts in and holds them all at gunpoint.

And he’s ultimately foiled by Pele.

This then leads to the Jail-Alan confrontation that is seen in the anime. This is really why Lynn, Hina, and Pele are with Jail, though! After all, they were in the room with him and Alan marched off with all four of them.

But it’s later revealed that Pele didn’t delete the files on Nana’s drive; they were different files entirely, and Pele bet on Alan not even bothering to check. How Nana’s video plays out is another essay entirely, though.

Chapters 13 through 15 are the first real hints we get that maybe there’s more to Lynn’s subordinate than meets the eye, and maybe his little stunt with disarming the Secret Service wasn’t just a fluke. Minazuki is very good at laying seeds for things to come, which is also why I’m hesitant to write off the Jail-Tokikaze relationship / rivalry just yet.

also the animation quality in episode 12 is, uh. It’s not good, my dudes.

. . . okay, okay, I feel like I’m picking on the anime a little bit (reminder that animators work under a lot of pressure and aren’t given a lot of time and resources to produce quality!), but the animation is really noticeable in this episode.

Anyway, if you enjoyed the anime, please support the official releases in your country and read the manga! It’s interesting to see all the little shifts and tweaks that were done to the story in the process of taking it from page to screen.

#plunderer #manga and anime differences

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blackcatmanor · 5 years

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RWBY V7 Episode 12 Photo Review (Spoilers)

..................WUT

I mean….I can’t really process what happened

So let’s get this part out of the way:

The Good:

Penny and Winter are the true BFFs

Penny becoming more human is endearing to see, and it’s been interesting to see her struggle with understanding emotions against Winter, who also struggles to understand them, in a way. Penny challenging Winter but never abandoning her to join RWBY is nice, and their light conflict is very well done because it shows Penny’s growing humanity struggle against Winter’s much chillier perspective. I really like the dynamic between these two and hope they continue on in the next volume (If Winter dies too this volume I’ll ragequit RWBY), and to be honest it’s become more of a cute bond than Ruby and Penny this volume. Don’t @ me

The fights

Although a lot of the “fights” in this volume were done off screen, when there is fighting this volume it has been extremely good. The camera moves around a lot less so we get a better sense of what is going on, and the moves feel more deliberate to whoever is doing the fighting, such as Ruby and Harriet who dart around a lot, delivering only occasional blows (and Ruby taking more of the blows because she’s not as good as Harriet in hand-to-hand), while Yang and Elm go all-out lady brawl (and it’s nice to see Yang’s semblance again)

Exception: Weiss.

Weiss’ over-reliance on Summoning is making her boring to watch in fights. Seeing the 300 different ways the animators show her spinning around and waving her sword like a magic wand is getting OLD. If you’re going to have her summon all the time, fine, but stop focusing the camera on her. Just show her very distantly in the background waving her sword/wand and focus on how people fight whatever she summons.

The meh:

RWBY vs Ace Ops- welp… I didn’t think the Ace Ops were gonna lose, I thought RWBY would flee and barely get away because the Ace Ops were supposed to be the best of the best. I guess I’m glad they didn’t just go down like total chumps (except Vine- sorry dude), but apparently if you train with the Ace Ops for 6 weeks, you’re as good as them. *Shrug* Who knew? It’s like Fitness Bootcamp- Train with a soldier on an obstacle course once and you’re basically ready to become a member of Seal Team 6, right?

I wish they would have explained this a little more- maybe looping back to the discussion they had in Episode 4 about being friends vs teammates. Maybe RWBY’s personal bond gives them more incentive to win, while the Ace Ops are just going through the motions because it’s just a job to them. Plus I think Elm and Marrow’s inner conflict also maybe helped tipped the sales towards RWBY, perhaps they weren’t trying their hardest, but I wish this was a little more clear

JNPR vs Neo

It’s kind of weird that Neo didn’t incapacitate Oscar, if she was planning to try trapping JNR as well… Or maybe Oscar barely managed to get away? Regardless, Neo had the lamp, so why stick around and wait for more people to show up? The plan was for her to get the lamp FROM Oscar, not necessarily grab Oscar as well. Maybe Neo has her own agenda, which would be cool, but from this episode it looks like she completed her objective but then waited around to fight some more. Maybe getting the lamp was too easy and she likes a challenge...? Who knows (I am saying that a lot for this episode, huh?)

Cinder vs Winter and Penny

This is obviously meh because not much happened, and it’s just set up for the big final fight. With the Ace Ops incap’ed, hopefully RWBY can come in as well to finally fight Cinder directly after dancing around her in V5. I think most of this will go down probably in the Relic room because a grand fight in a cramped hospital room is hard, so I think Cinder will be able to Grimm-snatch the Winter Maiden powers and go down to the relic room, or she will incapacitate whoever does get the powers and drag them there, only to be stopped by RWBY for a big battle. However I don’t think it’ll be Winter Schnee getting the powers since it’ll take too long for the transfer device and they are out of time. I KINDA think now it might be Penny- a girl with an aura/soul- somehow she’ll receive them and it’ll be part of her becoming a real girl (like Pinocchio). Who knows? At this point who gets them is totally up in the air.

The Ugly:

I guess I was right about Tyrian escaping custody again, but it wasn’t because of Salem intervening with Grimm like I thought. It was because Robyn is a terrible person!

Robyn- Please kindly f- off:

I officially HATE Robyn the most. After teetering on a “meh-leaning-towards-general-dislike” feeling, I loathe her now and I hope she gets killed off quickly. She’s a one-dimensional generic hothead character with no personality that is purposely stuck in to create conflict. She is the good guy’s Tyrian- but Tyrian has a reason to be chaotic: He’s an insane zealot. Robyn is just a poorly written idiot.

Robyn just does stupid things that get in everyone’s way all of the time, and actively works to undermine the hero’s at each turn. She prevented the launch of Amity by stealing all the supplies, and now she is going to try and fight in the middle of a cramped ship, risking Tyrian’s escape rather than waiting 5 minutes to duke it out with Clover once Tyrian is safely in jail. The entire time they were squaring off on the ship I kept thinking “Uhm Tyrian’s right there….Tyrian is RIGHT THERE! He’s gonna get out!” Robyn is a liar. She doesn’t care about the people of Mantle, because she’s doing things that could (and did) lead to a serial killer who killed Mantle Citizens escaping.

Not to mention she could have taken Qrow’s advice and talk to Ironwood first! Literally 2 episodes ago you were saying the General had your support and now you’re like “I’LL FIGHT ANYONE, ANYWHERE. Forget talking to people to get the full details and actually following through upon that trust I claimed I had in Ironwood two episodes ago, I’m gonna risk everyone’s lives to fight this out RIGHT here!” She’s the worst!

Confrontation with Qrow and Clover-

This falls under the Ugly because, despite some good dialogue between Clover and Qrow, with Qrow expressing that he feels manipulated while Clover tries to explain his own point of view, every decision made from here on Qrow’s part is inexcusable and totally irrational.

Tyrian joins the fray and inexplicably Qrow agrees to team up with him to take down Clover because THAT can’t possibly fail spectacularly.

Tyrian suggests “putting the kid to bed” but the entire time I knew Tyrian would betray Qrow and go too far with attacking Clover because OF COURSE HE WOULD. But I thought he would sting Clover as a chance to get away, because Qrow would have to focus on getting Clover help. However, what we got was…much, much worse.

Qrow’s questionable decision making

Hey DUMMY- Why not team up with Clover first to neutralize Tyrian again, and then you and Clover can duke it out. Or you and Clover can go talk to James like you wanted to 10 minutes ago!

Oh right…because “You got a score to settle” with Tyrian because this is now a cheesy western where your ego is more important than logic.

I think his bad luck semblance is really just an idiot semblance- like occasionally his semblance makes him do stupid things, leading to horrible outcomes but he mistakenly chalks it up to “bad luck.” It’s also frustrating because this volume they were setting Qrow up to grow into a good character- someone with a lot of anger from the past who learns to cope with it, and learns to accept friendship from others. I guess that’s all over.

So, sadly, Tyrian then murders Clover. It was shocking I will say that...I actually GASPED, and it led to this really cool shot:

But the shock was partly for the wrong reason. Like I said before, I thought Qrow being a dumb-dumb would lead to Clover being injured, sure, but KILLED? Yikes! Qrow’s idiocy leading to Clover being injured would be frustrating, but not unforgivable narratively and he could learn from it. He would learn to not treat his friends as transactional, and automatically write them off when one hint of struggle happens. Qrow’s idiocy in teaming up with a serial killer and getting Clover killed kinda makes Qrow unforgivable in my book. Does CRWBY want me to hate Qrow? I guess so, especially because Clover’s dying scene didn’t exactly stick the landing and alleviate my anger towards Qrow either....

So poor dying Clover is lying there, and a visibly shaken Qrow kneels next to him. So the thought is Qrow is going to realize his horrible mistake, and dive down a pool of self-loathing: tearfully blaming himself, blaming his bad luck, APOLOGIZING, upset about how it’s all his fault, etc. Instead, he delivers (with a straight face) the weirdest line ever about James taking the fall. UHHH- WUT? You teaming up with Tyrian led to this. WHAT IS HAPPENING?!

This sucks. On several levels. Clover’s death was just plain poorly done and a good character was wasted. I really liked Clover. I thought Qrow was going to actually get a break from being shit on this entire series and finally get, at a minimum, a friend that would continue to help him grow and develop as a character, pushing Qrow to see the best in himself and stop continually hating himself. With that cut short, I of course felt super sad and emotional about Clover’s death, even to the point of almost crying.

However, I can’t pretend like a significant part of that isn’t pure frustration anger about how this episode played out. Not only did Clover’s death came about in the dumbest way, but his final words with Qrow were wasted by the weird “James will take the fall” bit.

Qrow should have blamed himself and his semblance (I mean...it actually kinda is his fault, not gonna lie), and Clover could have maybe been the ultimate friend to him, telling Qrow that it happened because Qrow was fighting for what he thought was right, and even though the outcome was horrible he shouldn’t stop fighting for what he believes in…? I dunno….ANYTHING other than “GRRR James will pay”

I can’t help but remember a mere few minutes ago.....

This episode.....woof.

In a long series, you want your hero’s to sometimes lose just to keep it interesting, and to give them something to have to crawl back from. However, what’s interesting is seeing the characters try their best, make reasonable and decent decisions and still suffer a loss, because it makes us want to continue to cheer them on and watch as they make a triumphant comeback. Seeing hero’s simply choke and fail because they make the dumbest, irrational decisions with no logical reason is just frustrating and excruciating to watch, and seeing those moments lead to other characters suffering makes your “hero’s” unlikable.

This argument was made for the V6 climax- that RWBY made a dumb decision and others suffered the consequences, making them “evil” to some hateboner watchers, but I thought this assessment was over dramatic. You have to take things in context, and literally nothing came of RWBY’s decision to steal an airship: the universe was the same as it was before with some filler in the middle. No one was injured or killed, and even the damage to the city was minimal (one roof). Clover, though, is full-on dead and that is entirely Qrow’s fault. I just can’t believe the writers put this down on paper, re-read it, and though- “yea....Someone who totally make the decision to team up with a murderer to subdue their good friend....this is gonna be GREAT.”

But who cares about the story- NEW MERCH DROPPING SOON AMIRITE?!

Ok that was a low blow, but the writing and characters inexplicably took a logical nose dive this episode, after having a lot of thought put into last episode. The characters (especially Qrow, but also Robyn and to a lesser extent Clover) could have made some reasonable and logical decisions and Clover still could have died, which would have had way more impact and made the situation seem way more hopeless. Instead we got Robyn kicking off the shitshow by being just the worst, and Qrow taking the shitshow torch and cranking it up to 11, effectively un-doing all of the development we’ve seen from him this season.

Lastly, even if you are going to have the characters completely fail at making decisions and it leads to a horrible outcome, at least stick the landing and don’t have them go off on some odd tangent about how this is someone else’s fault. *facepalm*

Overall I’d give this episode a very generous 2/10.

The 2 points is because of the decent fight animation and occasionally decent dialogue.

I’m tired...

#rwby v7 #rwby spoilers #rwby vol7 #Robyn Hill #qrow branwen #clover ebi #marrow amin #ruby rose #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #weiss schnee #penny polendina #winter schnee #cinder fall #tyrian callows #rwby salem #oscar pine

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codematurgy · 4 years

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you could definitely say that what follows next is a quarentine diary of sorts, but i’m writing it up here because it relates to theme making in some ways; additionally, i just want to write something positive in the middle of this!

stay safe, of course - if your finantial conditions, likely because of the government of your country and/or your employer being criminals, aren’t good enough for you to stop working, i can’t say i’m exactly praying for you because i don’t have that practice, but i do hope you’ll be fine. this moment shows us how capitalists are willing to treat the working class. mandatory class struggle aside:

for starters shout out to tumblr because i love the new dashboard ok. i’m using the cybernetic palette and i really wish it was available on the app too. of course, my love of it isn’t related to the colors alone - i always thought the dashboard looked a bit messy in structure, so building it again from zero was a fantastic decision. love that i can see the words for image or avatar while the images are loading as well; they really took care of accessibility here, which was already an ongoing process with stuff like page order or focus, etc.

i just wanted to write that shoutout because i’ve seen a lot of people complain about it - mostly because xkit stopped working - while ignoring that the folks at xkit did explain how they’re helping the tumblr developers directly, and in turn their work at rewriting xkit would be even smoother. i don’t think people actually give tumblr developers credit where is due, and i’ve been fascinated with their work ever since i found out about official blogs such as @javascript or @engineering. it also clarified a few problems i’ve had when dealing with the mechanics of reblogs, even if some bits of it still drive me nuts! in a sense, thinking about theme making for tumblr has become more gratifying when you get to understand just what you’re doing. anyway, moving on.

i haven’t really done a lot of “theme making” for the past weeks - i did do a bunch of bug fixes to the npf photosets plugin, but nothing related to designing or creating and so on. it doesn’t mean that creating was completely lost to me, though i did channel it to something entirely different: movie reviews.

yeah. that sounds pretentious, i know.

i’m not a big fan of cash grab movies(read: pretty much most of recent disney work, and anything that feels similarly souless), but i never found the strength to watch the ones that are new and more popular around here; namely, stuff from a24. which is not to say those are bad! i’ve watched my share and they are really good - i’m absolutely enamored with the vvitch, for example. however, i’ve realized that i want to discover new worlds, and not all of them too serious neither constantly bombarding my tumblr dashboard or twitter timeline. people have been doing movies for such a long time and i keep wondering, how many incredible gems i’m missing on solely because i can’t be bothered to look back?

thanks to that, i’m watching movies i never thought i would watch. and more importantly, i’m writing about them - about the things that make them this single, incredible work. much like being in a show’s fandom, i guess, and writing such long metas on it, except i get to write shorter essays because i’m not getting an entire season, ahaha. i had never watched an art film up until now, i think, and although it wasn’t my favorite format from this first experience, it was nice and i’m actually willing to try it again.

one great takeaway from this experience, besides how awesome film-making is, relates to my creations here. a fascinating thing about movies is when their envisioners work to have this coherent, complete piece of work filled with all it needs to be solid, instead of letting these loose threads. this is not in a plot sense strictly, but for so many aspects like choosing to add something to costume, set, or prop design; the choice of a weird but so incredibly telling original score; a photography that goes beyond having a pretty centralized shot and adds weight to every shot... wow, that stuff is unreal, and it is so full of purpose!

this feeling of completeness is one i think i have been working on gradually, but still could do better. i have this terrible process in which i barely have a full sketch for a theme - i just think that i want this one thing and build the whole theme around that detail live on the code instead of actually planning it. i believe that, likely because of this, it feels like my themes are just this tiny design in the middle of a blank website. Chamamento, SETE and Ágora feel like outliers in that sense, even though the process was still chaotic, solely because at one point i actually sat myself down and i said “i want this”.

hopefully, i can take this knowledge with me on the next themes coming around! i don’t know when they will come, but i do have an idea for post styling and another one for a “complete” layout - i’ll try not to merge those in my weird process so it’s not too much information, though. there’s one theme in the works for a while too, which is based on the one i mentioned working on as i first mentioned Temporal, but it’s been reworked into an entirely different beast which i’m quite happy with; mostly because there is no pixel based post size! in fact, i’m considering not having typical post sizes for all next themes, choosing a more typical blog approach. it sounds weird but so far it looks really cool, although probably not as much if you’re doing graphics with set sizes... well, graphic makers were never my demographic to begin with.

and well, on an entirely different note: i keep forgetting that when you have a theme uploaded to tumblr, you can check active installs. actually seeing people using your themes, when before the only way you could see it was by hoping whoever reblogged or liked it had in fact installed it, is so exciting!!! it actually confirms that the people using my themes, or at least using Temporal, are often just your average blogger sharing memes, fanart and talking about the latest podcast - you know the one. it’s a pleasure to be making themes for y’all!

#code blogging #i'll warn you that this read more is a wall of text

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