#romance indifferent

[romance-evil-aro]

IT IS OKAY TO HAVE COMPLICATED FEELINGS ABOUT ROMANCE!!!!!! IT IS OKAY TO NOT BE ROMANCE REPULSED OR ROMANCE FAVOURABLE!!!! IT IS OKAY IF YOUR FEELINGS ON ROMANCE DEPEND ON CONTEXT!!!! IT IS OKAY IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOUR FEELINGS ON ROMANCE ARE!!!!

[asphyxiatedredherring]

Hey, just so you know, it's ok for your feelings to fluctuate. It's ok to be sex or romance repulsed one day and not the next. It's ok to be indifferent one day and favorable the next. It's ok it you think you're sex repulsed and then realize maybe you're sex adverse. It's ok to be romance indifferent one moment and adverse the next. It's ok. Your experiences are valid.

[aroplatonic]

not partnering, not nonpartnering, but a secret third thing (doesn't really give a shit)

[thermodynamic-comedian]

epic fight between me (polyamorous aromantic) and the phrase "you're the only one for me"

[love-your-art]

I'm the bitches

[aroaceconfessions]

how old were people when they realized they were aroace/on the ace or aro spectrum? im currently a high school sophomore and i think i might be somewhere on both spectrums, but i can’t really tell if my disinterest in sex and romance comes from age or being aroace.

Submitted February 14, 2023

[aroace-and-has-a-mace]

The different ‘parts’ of a-spec

if that title makes no sense, bear with me. so, if you’ve heard terms like ‘sex (or romance) repulsed’ or similar things, you might know what I mean here. there are several different views on sex/romance in a-spec identities, so i’m gonna explain them (badly, probably).

sex/romance-repulsed: someone who is disgusted by the idea of having sex/romance, or generally sexual situations.

sex/romance-averse: someone (like me!) who does not want to have sex/romance (not repulsed/disgusted by it, but doesn’t want to have it)

sex/romance-indifferent: someone who is not against having sex/romance, but doesn’t find it personally gratifying

sex/romance-favorable: someone who enjoys having sex/romance in certain situations (or under certain circumstances)

so, yeah! thanks for reading my aroace bullshit (also, someone can feel differently about romance than they do about sex, it’s not always the same)

[shk0lstun-flagz]

Moonset Aroace flag

Made my own Aroace flag with more inclusive meanings to show how diverse each Aroace experience is.

- anyone who is on both aro and ace spectrums can use (angled aroaces)

I’m a romance ambivalent and a sex favorable Aroace and I just wanted that to be represented in the flag that I use tbh

[our-arospec-experience]

I'm allo, but I do have a question so i can better understand this friend of mine, if that's cool! Is there a difference between being grayromantic and being a romance-indifferent aromantic? If so, what's the difference?

I’m glad you’re making an effort to understand your friend! romance-indifferent means that the person has no strong feelings regarding the concept of romance. grayromantic on the other hand, means that the individual can fall in love, but does so infrequently, possibly due to certain conditions. in short, romance indifferent is an attitude towards romance, while grayromantic is an identity describing people who infrequently fall in love.

[romance-evil-aro]

romance repulsed aros and romance favourable aros are both cool and valid but because i never see anything about us: shoutout to romance indifferent aros. romance neutral aros. aros who just couldn't care less. aros who have a conflicted relationship with romance. aros who are fine with romance in some contexts but not in others. aros who don't mind romance when it's not amatonormativity being shoved down their throats. aros who haven't yet figured out their feelings about romance. aros to whom romance is Just Something That Exists. y'all are rad as hell and it's okay not to 'pick a side'!!

[pvuzz]

im definitely somewhere between romance adverse and romance repulsed, at least as of recent

i dont mind aesthetic romance like from books or shows or stuff. thats all fictional, so it clearly cant hurt me. i actually used to really like it. but when it comes to the people around me..? i cant do that. i actively feel sick to my stomach whenever i think about someone liking me, or even someone liking some one else. romance in real life literally hurts my soul

[lunaryuwu]

You know how there are *insert character here* x reader fanfics? As an aromantic that’s romance indifferent(if that’s how you call it), I’d rather have self insert fics where the reader gets to be friends with the character. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion idk but I really want to read fics like that. It would bless my soul.

[aroplatonic]

romance indifference is so funny. foaming at the mouth over these two fictional ships but all the other ships are annoying and fandoms should stop being so ship focused. dating is stressful but my friend's relationships are cute and I want the tea. if someone asked me out I would get back to them in 3-5 business days

[thermodynamic-comedian]

reblog if you're aromantic and not soft or cute or fluffy. i feel like so many aromantic people feel like they need to make themself 'more human' by forcing these qualities onto themselves, and that's fucking sad. you are human. your aromanticism does not make you less human. you do not have to fucking 'redeem' yourself over being aromantic. your anger and your rage and your unapologetic lovelessness and heartlessness are also human. don't hide them in order to appeal to aphobes.

so yeah, reblog if you're aromantic and angry and intense and sharp around the edges and refuse to play the 'acceptable aro' game. i adore you.

[askanaroace]

Ask An Aro Ace ASAW Day 2: Being a Non-Favorable Aromantic

Today is another day where I kinda talk about something that's treated as different within and without the community. Today I want to talk about being romance-indifferent or romance-averse or romance-repulsed.

A quick primer for those who might need:

Romance-favorable: generally likes and is open to romance.

Romance-indifferent: generally unbothered by and doesn't think about romance. Doesn't really want it but isn't strongly turned away from it.

Romance-averse: generally uninterested in romance but not especially upset or uncomfortable with it.

Romance-repulsed: generally experiencing discomfort and upset surrounding romance.

This may be in the realm of romantic content to personal outlook on romance and the desire or lack thereof to be in a romantic relationship. And not everyone has to use these or may even feel the scale is useful to them, for example because someone might be favorable to romantic media but repulsed by the idea of personally participating in romance or their feelings may fluctuate over time and be different at different times.

I would say I fall along the lines of being romance-indifferent. In the past, I have been touch-repulsed and sex-repulsed (and now probably lay somewhere along indifferent to averse), so I have general experience with how intense and upsetting repulsion can be and how it can impact your life, though I can't speak specifically to romance-repulsion.

What I want to talk about is the extremely different perspective that comes out about romance depending on if you're looking at things from within or without the community.

When your general allo hears about aromanticism, they are most likely to assume someone completely uninterested in romance and potentially even repulsed by it. You may get gross comments about being picky or immature or afraid of commitment and have it said or implied that the "right person" will "fix" you (as if romance-favorable aros aren't still aro!). Dehumanization is especially common with aros with claims of "love is what makes us human".

But within the community, this treatment by allos has led to a sense of shame surrounding aversion and repulsion, as well as aplatonicism, heartlessness, and lovelessness. There is a tendency to try and defend aros from such judgements by using amatonormative claims like "aros can still want to date!" and "aros can love in other ways!" which leaves out aros for whom these statements aren't true and sets up the prospect that the only acceptable way to be aromantic is to be romance-favorable and partnering (whether that be a romantic or queerplatonic or platonic partnership).

I know very well that romance-favorable aros face their own struggles and often feel invalid and fake due to their favorability. That's a real and valid feeling and struggle. But truth is that I see a lot of validation, positivity, and encouragement for favorability.

And if you run in the right circles, you'll see that same energy given towards indifference, aversion, and repulsion. But overall, it can be very difficult to talk about being repulsed in particular. People treat you like your discomfort is difficult to accommodate, like your feelings are a burden to them. And it's an especially terrible burden for a repulsed person to have to carry because we're the ones dealing with literal repulsion over these subjects. Accommodating us takes a little conscious, thought yes, but when I was repulsed, that could manifest as:

Being unable to stomach watching certain shows/movies

Getting very easily embarrassed and flustered and uncomfortable with such material

An actual, physical sensation of freezing up and my body shutting down

Dissociation

Involuntary flinching

Anxiety and fear over having to face certain situations

People can also experience things like nausea, dysphoria, depression, etc.

I get that accommodating us does take some mindfulness and effort, but I promise that it is easier on you than it is on the repulsed person to go through the above.

And acceptance for this definitely has improved over time. But making room for non-favorable folk means more than us being an after-thought. It means including these experiences in your definition of aromanticism. It means updating your content warnings. It means changing the way we defend our identity.

Humans are defined based off of general biology and society building defined by traits like bipedalism, language, tool-making, foresight, and opposable thumbs. Nothing at all to do with love, which is something we can observe throughout the animal kingdom. All aros are humans because that's the scientific classification we're born into. You don't need love to be compassionate or kind towards other people. Every living creature is worthy of basic respect. Aromanticism doesn't harm people (anti-aro bias and amatonormativity do). Whatever our feelings, those deserve to be respected and considered.

By breaking down these barriers and stereotypes, we help everyone. Because there's a lot of different ways to feel and live, and we deserve to get to explore those options.