#rue is crying in joy

[ace1diots]

vote for them or ill explode so badly it causes another resonance cascade

Rue is not just played by a trans person and a trans allegory, but a canonical trans character, and she deserves all the love in this world. Rue means a lot to me as a whole, and her discovery of how she could be her own person without having to be who people expected her to be made me want to sob loudly. <3 qwq

Big B deserves to go all the way to the end of this poll because the primary life series fandom's somewhat casual disregard of him makes me so upset, and all the trans headcanons for him fill me with infinite joy <3 Its gotten a lot better over the years, but I feel he still deserves so much more recognition for all his good work

RUE - B SWEEP !! TRANSEST DUO IN THIS WHOLE POLL BABY!!!!

Rue:

Submitted for: Skyblock Kingdoms

Headcanons: Identity not specified, pronouns not specified

Propaganda: “Her whole character arc is a metaphor for being trans! She realized she wasn't who she was told she was and then chose her own name and made friends who saw her as HER! They're so special and wonderful and transgender!!”

“[The submitter] LITERALLY INCLUDED HER IN A PAPER [they] WROTE BECAUSE SHE IS SO TRANS.”

“Rue is not just textually trans, with she/they pronouns, she is ALSO a trans allegory! That's TWO trans aspects!”

“Rue is LITERALLY a trans allegory! They have a whole arc about realizing people are viewing them as the wrong person, creating a new identity, being hurt by that confusion, being lied to and told they need to act a certain way for people to like them.... THEYRE A CLONE OF A GUY WHO USES ALL PRONOUNS. THEY USE SHE/THEY PRONOUNS! THEY WERE TRAGICALLY KILLED BY THEIR ORIGINAL'S WIFE (possessed) AND DESERVE A WIN!!”

BigBSt4tz2:

Submitted for: Evo SMP, Third Life, Last Life, Double Life, Limited Life, Secret Life, Wild Life

Headcanons: Trans man, he/they

Propaganda:

“The vibe. They're so trans man coded. Like he would use a binder in the life series and, like, for example, Pearl would help him with it in Limited life, or Ren would help them cut their hair in Double life if he felt like being less gender ✨ He's just so trans man 😩 VOTE BIGB.”

“HE CAN BE ANY GENDER YOU'D WANT DUE TO CREATIVITY. I'VE SEEN MANY MAKE BIGB TRANSFEM OR NONBINARY!!!! YOU CAN EVEN MAKE HIM XENOGENDER OR USE NEOPRONOUNS FOR FUN.“

“C!Bigb being trans is so important. His character is very ambiguous (to [the submitter]. At least.) due to the hidden secretive nature of himself, he hides the lies, he masks his weirdness sometimes [which] can be a metaphor for a trans person not wanting to come out (also autism)((proof is [they’re] trans and autistic and [they] do this stuff)). You can color pick a makeshift trans flag from his mc skin also.”

“Every (Life) series, he changes up a lot of himself for whatever he's doing. This seems like he can't decide what exactly he is and is trying to rebrand himself as a different type of person every time, which tends to be something [the submitter has] noticed in a few trans people. The lack of clarity of who they are is definitely very genderfluid coded. It could also go for his character throughout the life series being a system, with each new series being someone else. [Their] main evidence for this is Terry (from Last Life). It can also go for being transmasc on some level because of how easy it was for him to be that character!”

“BigB's username literally has t4t in it. He's not cis [the submitter’s] sorry.”

Ethoslab:

Submitted for: Hermitcraft, Third Life, Last Life, Double Life, Limited Life, Secret Life, Wild Life

Headcanons: Agender, they/them; Transfem, she/her; Nonbinary, he/they/she; Nonbinary, they/he/it; Identity not specified, ladder/ladderself

Propaganda: “[The submitter] just think[s] she deserves boobies. [They] think they would be good for her. And also it's because [they] understand the way the universe flows and the nature of all things.”

“[Quote from Etho:]‘I’m ice man also, also the ice Queen […] yep, yep both in one.’ Etho has compared himself to a pretty girl before. ‘That’s me on the inside, beautiful, but on the outside it’s just this.’ (He’s talking about Falsesymmetry’s hermit head, a female head). Bigender, genderfluid, or genderqueer Etho trust trust trust.”

“T4T cletho. They’re both nonbinary and divorced (in an active relationship) and take turns on who's the ex wife and who's the ex husband.”

“When [the submitter] first joined hermitblr, [they were] genuinely confused about Etho’s gender for a bit because of the sheer amount of people on here that she/her him. [They] love it. Live your dreams.”

“Etho (ftm) but can be feminine. [The submitter] think[s] his vest is equal to the famous oversized trans hoodie (but with style).”

[sanjarka]

not to be a broken record but it's not quite fair to use the line but peeta wanted them so badly as proof that katniss was forced into having kids, or of her having them for all the wrong reasons. it exists within the context of not only the epilogue but an entire story before it. and i'm not here to convince you to like it. but to try seeing the point at least.

to expand on something i've spoken about before - in the epilogue their children are playing in a meadow from a song she sang to rue, a song that she now sings to her kids, in a meadow not unlike the one she dreams about after the beach kiss (as i drift off, i try to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no games, no capitol. a place like the meadow in the song i sang to rue as she died. where peeta's child could be safe)

so the tone in the epilogue can not be tragic and it is not regretful. it is hopeful.

the infamous line previously mentioned is not about katniss's lack of consent in being a mother but about the amount of trust she has in peeta as her life partner, as someone she loves. it's nothing but a connection to another line in the epilogue (where katniss is expressing her worry over teaching her kids about the games and her and peeta's role in them) → peeta says it will be okay. we have each other and the book. we can make them understand in a way that will make them braver.

it is about there not being another person who could've made this decision, this choice, safe (no one has held me like this in such a long time. since my father died and i stopped trusting my mother, no one else's arms have made me feel this safe)

it's about how his his hope made her wish safe (isn't it the thing i'd dreaded most about the wedding, about the future - the loss of my children to the games? and it could be true now couldn't it? if i hadn't spent my life building up layers of defenses until i recoil at even suggestion of marriage or a family?)

it's about how only peeta can give her that (what i need is the dandelion in the spring. the bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. the promise the life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. that it can be good again. and only peeta can give me that)

the choice to be a parent is not easy and careless and it never will be. she's absolutely honest about being terrified of her kids learning about the games, of them being scared and forced to harden like her and peeta were. the pain of the past is not ignored, it is not glossed over, and the nightmares never go away. but there's something else in the epilogue too.

when i first felt her stirring inside of me, i was consumed with a terror that felt old as life itself. only the joy of holding her in my arms could tame it. carrying him was a little easier, but not much.

how is this katniss being resentful and if she is why would she then have another kid? i've seen some people focus on the terror as it's this ugly thing proving her regret but is it not an entirely realistic feeling to have when carrying someone's life within you and understanding the neverending responsibility in keeping said life safe? there is such beauty in the phrase old as life itself. because it suggests the idea that this is something that isn't inherently tied to katniss's life, to her trauma and to her pain but to lifekind in general. and then the joy! how that terror is only settled when seeing your child eye to eye, seeing them breath and cry and live. it's such a gorgeous, intimate passage trying to let you in the love katniss has for her kids. it's not hiding away the sacrifice and the fear but it's also not hiding away how worth it it can be to make choices that scare you.

I'll tell them that on bad mornings, it feels impossible to take pleasure in anything because I'm afraid it could be taken away. that's when i make a list of every act of goodness i've seen someone do. it's like a game. repetitive. even a little tedious after more than twenty years. but there are much worse games to play.

how is this supposed to be so much more bitter than sweet, how is this anything but a love letter to peeta, to her kids, to everything she gained after everything she lost. why would she be so afraid of losing it all if it doesn't matter and why would she make a choice to believe in the kindness of people if the life she has now is something she has no say in and something that at best she feels indifferent towards to?

and obviously you have a right to feel whatever it is that you feel. i hate even having to say this cause who am i to give you a right to feel any type of way. i'm not trying to push my feelings onto you and tell you that this story must work for you, that it must make you feel hopeful. that if you're not satisfied you just have to read it again. stories don't work that way.

but to imply that the intention of the story is for the reader to be left hopeless is wrong. and sure, maybe that intention doesn't seem that profound you, maybe it is not interesting and maybe you think is boring. and maybe you think that katniss and peeta wouldn't realistically have this life path, or have kids, and maybe you think the end is too predictable and too expected. and that's okay. whatever life you have lived is going to affect what stories you find deep and what stories you find shallow and so maybe, this is that story for you. the story that you don't get. the story that doesn't work for you. and that's okay too. but to be so convinced that its intention is to present katniss's life as something so very miserable that she didn't choose but just let happen around her is wrong.

[erinwantstowrite]

what would be the reaction of each one of the bats to peter hugging them out of the blue ?

i actually have an entire page in my notebook dedicated to keeping track of this (mostly it was a prompt to get in the writing mood but now it's a reference)

Dick: obviously met with joy and an immediate hug back, they will not be letting go until 30 minutes later. he is crying but trying not to let Peter tell that he is. yes he does this nearly every time

Bruce: i think he would cry. Bruce doesn't cry often (in front of people at least) but if this happened he would get all teary eyed. mostly because he's thinking back to when Dick was that age and he would hug Bruce + he knows it's a big sign of trust if Peter is hugging you. he'd also hug Peter back but it'd take him a second to figure out what's going on

Jason: freezes for long enough that Peter pulls away and says 'sorry.' this happens a few times before Jason is used to it and he hugs Peter back. he also now has to make up for how he reacted before so Peter's the only one allowed to hug him for more than five seconds (I hc that Jay isn't great with physical affection like he was Before but he does like physical affection.)

Tim: he's used to Dick's random hugs so while he wasn't expecting it the first time and he took a second, he gets the hang of this very fast and he hugs Peter back every time

Steph: absolutely overjoyed. she'll be confused but she's the one who hugs him back and swings him around. she will continue to be happy for the rest of the day. she's more used to Peter hugs (1. because of Dick, just like Tim but also 2. because Peter isn't as hesitant around her).

Duke: confusion, awkward hug with a pat on the back the first few times. the more hugs he gets, the more comfortable he is with it. the first hug = "If anything happens to this kid I will end the world as we know it." and by the fourth surprise hug Duke has learned to hug Peter first

Cass: she's not surprised at all. she knew it would be coming and by the time Peter figures out he wants to hug her, she's opened her arms. i think Cass would love gentle hugs for herself, but often knows what type of hugs other people need/like best. like sometimes you just need a hug that crushes you a little bit and other times you just want someone there. Cass has it figured out

Dami: SWEARS that Peter is being so weird and so awful but the longer he's away from the League and the more he hangs out with his family the more he understands that he likes physical affection. He hugs Peter back but it's hesitant the first few times. Later on, though, Dami accepts and gives hugs. and if Dami is sitting on the couch Peter will flop onto the couch with his entire body weight. Dami promises to kill him every time but never goes through with it. they'll chill there for a little bit. classic sibling bothering.

Babs: has been used to hugs from Dick for a while, but she's surprised to realize that Peter trusts her that much. that's also when she realizes how much she cares about him and, like Duke, decides that if anything happened to Peter, she'd make someone rue the day

Alfred: just like with all of his grandchildren, Alfie doesn't initiate the hug first. but they know that if they want a hug, Alfie's there for them.

[amgk22]

HIHI-

How would the hg characters react with a baby? 🤭- (main series and ballad, Gale doesn't need a baby tho because he's yucky)

on it girl!! personally I try to defend gale on everything EXCEPT prim reaping but ima be honest he would NOT be trusted yall

the cast of the hunger games with a baby

Katniss would freeze up if she held a baby. However, with some reassuring, she might sing it a lullaby and try to become more comfortable.

- Peeta would be in his element. He loves kids. Because he wants children with Katniss, he’d definitely give the baby a name and tell it stories.

- Gale would not be trusted with a baby.

- Prim would make sure nothing was wrong with the baby, checking for any sicknesses that she can help with- and once that was done, she’d take care of them and play with them.

- Haymitch would act similarly to how he does in THIS post

- Effie would put on a big, fluffy dress on the baby and take multiple photos of them. If she gets permission, she might even give the baby some makeup.

- Rue, having her siblings, would know exactly what to do. She’d introduce herself, then tickle them a bunch until they laughed.

- Cato would accidentally drop the baby, due to him not being prepared. After, he’d either apologize or scream at the parents telling them it’s their fault they can’t take care of their own kid.

- Clove would definitely curse out the adult for giving her the baby, but not be able to let it go when it’s time. Of course, she doesn’t want kids- but she wants to be the cool aunt. She won’t let the baby go until they can say at least one bad word.

- Glimmer would twirl the baby’s hair and sings to them, squishing their cheeks and being extra touchy. She’d spin the baby around and kiss it everywhere.

- Marvel would get TOO excited. He’d throw the baby in the air then catch it, shake the baby with joy, and throw it onto a pillow to see it laugh. He would never be allowed within six feet of a newborn again.

- Thresh would be scared that he’d accidentally hurt the baby, so he’d be very careful with them and make sure that they’re calm and asleep.

- Finnick would bounce the baby on his lap, telling them stories about himself. He’d probably get baby fever too, begging Annie to have one.

- Johanna would give the baby back immediately. She’s not gonna deal with one.

- Cinna would immediately see the baby and ask to adopt them. Once the parent says no, he’d give them back and go straight to the adoption centre to get a newborn for himself. He loves kids.

- Coriolanus likes to see children as a mini him. If it doesn’t look like him, then he’s not interested. However, if it looks like him, he’d immediately get possessive and think of a legacy of himself.

- Lucy Gray would sing the baby a song of hers, and give it a little hand-sewn pillow. She’d hold the baby tightly but softly until the parent came back.

- Sejanus would give the baby a snack from his Ma, and squish their cheek. However, as much as Sejanus tries, babies always cry around him. He always gets so sad when they do, and he gets anxious. Coriolanus likes to tease him about how ‘the babies are scared of the extreme homosexuality.’

- Festus would bully the baby, calling them names and poking their cheek aggressively. However, once the parent comes back, he’d blame it on the nearest person. Somehow, his charm wins the parents over, and he’s trusted as a babysitter. Not the best idea..

- Coral wanted to be a big sister so badly when she was younger, so seeing the baby was like her dream coming true. Even though she couldn’t keep them, she’d hold it like she’d hold a sister and secretly wish that they could be hers.

[jabberbaird]

hi I’m back with chapters twenty-one through twenty-three of sotr!

tag list: @theballadofthesunandthestars @please-help-this-little-lesbian @ameliaandreas3 @professionalwaterbender @username0derogatory0

Chapter Twenty-One

“I ditch my pack in a patch of katniss.” — KATNISS ‼️ ‼️ ‼️ 

okay despite being on borrowed time to save the Newcomers, Haymitch and Maysilee are really funny figuring out how to distract the porcupine. The sibling banter is fr.

RIP Buck, Chicory, and Hull :(

THEY’RE HIDING IN KATNISS. KATNISS!!!!!!

The pact of District Twelve…to be the worst Victor Panem’s ever seen…

Maybe I’m wrong then in my previous yappings? About why Haymitch is so beaten down? Dear Lord I hope I am and now I’ve found some hope to cling too ✌️ 

Chapter Twenty-Two

OH WOW THAT WAS FAST.

Gamemakers in the arena…hello behind the scenes. Though I gotta question that, because surely the Gamemakers knew there were Tributes close by…I propose: they were trying to off Haymitch again by relying on the District “reputations” of being aggressive towards Capitol people so they could bomb them. Because that bomb happened FAST

Though they weren’t able to track Haymitch and Maysilee…that might be a wrinkle in my theory.

“nothing they can take from you was ever worth keeping” — SCREAMING

oh I KNOW Snow’s been stricken with several heart attacks by this point lmao

Chapter Twenty-Three

Brief pause.

Alder: i have no fear

“When you’ve been set up to lose everything you love, what else is there to fight for?” — on the back of my book.

Alder: i have one fear. *stares fearfully at my previous ramblings*

The way this chapter ignites the memory of reading that little tidbit about Haymitch’s Games in Catching Fire…I know what’s coming. I know what awaits me.

Haymitch and Maysilee immediately checking on each other after hearing the canon :(

FUCK I KNEW IT. I KNEW IT. MAYSILEE. MAYSILEE NOOOOOOOOO

:’(

I swear if we DON’T get that shot of Haymitch’s face through the claws of the hovercraft as it lifts Maysilee’s body in the movie…I’m rioting.

Oh no Wellie is still out there…oh no please don’t Rue us again…I’ve already gone through Ampert PLEASE NO

The pure joy Haymitch describes for Seam kids to find a bike… :(

Oh. Oh. That end…gut punch. Haymitch quietly dropping down some chocolate to a crying Silka after caring for Wellie…wow. That’s going up there with Lenore Dove screaming in the rain, Haymitch facing down Snow at the parade, and that image of Haymitch’s face through the claws of the hovercraft after Maysilee. Top four favorite scenes. Perhaps there’s a fifth waiting for me.

[warriorcats-sot]

Tragedy would unfortunately strike the Clan during leaf-fall and leaf-bare... A greencough outbreak had swept through the camp, luckily many infected were young and able to fight off the cough with ease. However, Rue being as old as she was, wasn't so lucky. Fighting to the bitter end and thankfully being able to see her kits become warriors... She passed at 156 moons old.

Twigcrest's death is far more upsetting than Rue's however... He and Lilyshade had gone on a dual hunting patrol in leaf-bare, riding high on the joy of their first litter of kits becoming apprentices and progressing well with their training... Then a snowstorm raged through the territory and the two took shelter. It was thanks to Twigcrest's large frame and fluffy pelt that Lilyshade survived... However him taking the brunt of the cold meant he did not make it through the night and Lilyshade had to drag his body back home... Crying and yowling through her fur the whole time as she did so.

She and Brownreed became closer after the loses of their mates, taking solace in one another like he was another father figure for her. Brownreed couldn't help but be angry at StarClan for taking his mate from him... Why not take him too? He tries to push those feelings down by happily watching how his kits, now new warriors, came into their own and found happiness in the Clan.

After Rue's death, Firemeadow took it upon himself to make sure Quailspots fully understood how to ask for cats to tie her headfur back. He knew how much she couldn't handle it, not like her mother could. The two siblings didn't stay sad for long, finding it in their hearts to move on from the pain and carry on helping the Clan and giving more time to help Cloudscratch and Teaselpond in gathering herbs now that they were down a helper. Firemeadow also couldn't help but find himself silently oogling a she-cat who had caught his attention, Quailspots happy that her brother could find joy in the sadness.

Almondswoop was happy to get an apprentice this year, one of Lilyshade and Twigcrest's kits, Mudpaw. The only hard part was that Mudpaw was completely deaf. Mudpaw didn't let the lack of hearing hold her back, easily able to learn a few sets of tail signals and even read mouth movements like a pro. Her only issues were hearing prey noises which is why Almondswoop saw fit to make up for that by making sure she could accurately read and parse various scents of animals and plants. Mudpaw liked the challenge, always wanting to one up herself and beat invisible goals that she had set. Though rambunctious, she had the makings of a fine warrior if she stuck with it.

Mudpaw's sister Heatherpaw was also one who in a lot of cases had to prove herself like her sister. Heatherpaw was born without her left leg. Never once did it slow her down however, Otterswirl shocked that she had to practically use all her energy to keep up with the young cat! Heatherpaw always spoke with such kindness and was always so eager to listen, one would think she should have been a mediator apprentice. But she took her training very seriously, learning how to fight larger opponents thanks to her and her mentor's size difference and her nimbleness proving to be a valuable asset.

[fangirlsaywhaat]

Din and Luke hunger games AU. Luke is from 12, from the Covey only here Covey is called Jedi. They traveled around, bringing peace and helping others as much as they can. They also bring song and dance and joy wherever they can. They were confined to 12, just like the Covey were. A few years ago, they were almost all whipped out (Palpatine I snow. Anakin becomes a kind of halfway between haymich and Lucy grey, and the covey/jedi were almost whipped out because of it. Obi-wan survived, and also saved Luke and Leia. He raised them.) So Luke gets sent into the arena at like 16 or 17. And he's a pacafist/believes in peace so instead of trying to kill, he tries to protect. There's a 12 year old, like Rue, that he tries to take under his wing. Rue tells Luke that they should try and join up with Din, her district mate, because they will do better with him protecting them.

They make their way over to the other half, where they think Din is, but right when they get him, Rue runs up ahead because she is so happy to see him, but gets killed. Din kills the tribute that killed Rue, and Luke tries to save Rue but she's too far gone. Before she went, though, she made Luke promise that he won't lose who he was. Luke starts crying, and Din eventually has to pull him away. Luke is to distraught to realise that Din has been gently leading him towards Din's sort of base. Din takes care of Luke, gives him water as his tears dry.

Eventually, he asks Luke what Rue meant. Luke tells Din about the jedi and what it means. Din gets kinda mad at him about it (how the hell do you expect to stay a pacifist of you are in a life or death scenario!) but eventually agrees to take care and look after Luke. Luke asks why, and Din explains that Luke remaining a jedi is Rue's dying wish and as a Mandalorian Din is duty bound to see it through. Rue is a child, and the wishes of children are sacred above all else. So they team up. Din hunts and Luke gathers and one night, they kiss. They had been slowly falling in love with each other, after all. And they figured "we are going to die anyway, might as well kiss who i want to kiss, love who I want to love."

So it's them and one other person. The other person is going after Din, knowing that he's the bigger threat, and they end up in hand to hand and Din is getting choked to death. Luke gets in one good swipe, using a sword to slice his thigh. It gives Din just enough of a respite to throw him onto the ground and take a final blow. Luke who has up, until this point, never drawn blood, starts crying. And Din comforts him, but Luke says that he's a healer and he knows a killing blow when he sees it and knows where the arteries are. That blow would have killed him, eventually. But Din just holds him.

It's only the two of them. In order to delay the inevitable, they take a walk around the arena. Eventually, they make their way around to the cornucopia. There, Luke pulls out the berries. He doesn't want to kill Din, he can't. And not because he can't kill anyone, but because he loves Din. Din also can't kill Luke. And not because of the Rue's wish, but because he loves Luke too. So they decided to eat the berries. But the game makers stop them, saying they can both be Victors.

[xielianhusband]

My love for you

Male y/n comes home from work he was usually a calm out going person and sweet but something was off he started acting weird for the past few weeks he stopped talking to his friends and even his own boyfriend kaveh.

Y/n even ignored him as y/n went into his bedroom as y/n looked at himself in the mirror insecure he was jealous of one of his coworkers named rue she was pretty and out going she made y/n jealous and he even felt envy he was so jealous of her to the point he hated how much he weighted or even his appearance

Kaveh came in the room y/n you’ve been ignoring me tell me why are you okay please I’m here for you y/n stared as his eyes filled with tears as he cried breaking down on the floor I hate myself okay I hate the way I look the way I weight everything rue is just the prettiest and perfect woman ever I want to be her y/n says crying harder Kaveh grabs him and hugs y/n

listen I love you no matter how much you weight or look you’re the love of my life y/n and I need you to know that your the prettiest boy I have ever seen I truly love you you’re so gorgeous I mean it as Kaveh kisses y/n I love you to the end of time you truly are my life and joy as Kaveh hugged him. Y/n smiles as he hugs Kaveh tighter I love you to.

Sorry if I was gone I was busy with a lot of things I really tried with this 😭😭

[rodeo-dyke]

music yap sesh 1

i'm the worsttttt music nerd ever😭 worst meaning like how obnoxious i am about it. it is the number 1 thing i talk about non-stop. so mwahahahaha i'm aiming for a career in A&R, and part-time music production and mastering. so here's just me yapping multiple times for no reason🩶😛

march 11, '25 - songs y'all need to start bumping IMMEDIATELY!!!!

may you never forget me - temachii

my my - chenayder @chenayder

safe house - nectar woode

something blue - sarika

beautiful boy - esha tawari

on my body - crae wolf

bite size - sixsaidit

lovebites - lava la rue

black licorice - peach pit

cleaner air - yeek

everybody wants to love you - japanese breakfast

don't delete the kisses - wolf alice

it almost worked - tv girl @tvgirl

get with u - clairo

strawberry letter 23 - shuggie otis

two weeks - grizzly bear

heybb! - binki

pookie's requiem - sailorr

crack rock - frank ocean

april 22, '25 - the most dykey songs to ever dyke (some not *necessarily* sapphic but idc)

most wanted man by lucy dacus @lucydacus (yippee! i got to see lucy live on sat. night :3)

sugar in the tank by julien baker and torres

be my own boyfriend by olivia dean

green eyes by arlo parks @arloparks-blog (i have the most massive crush on arlo🙏🙏)

new flesh by current joys

jackie and wilson by hozier

son of a preacher man by dusty springfield

super massive black whole by muse (alice cullen...)

lethal lolita by red aunts

gunpowder & lead by miranda lambert (fem top revenge song)

worry with you by sleater-kinney @sleater-kinney

i like the way this is going by eels

rollerblades by dominic fike

mistakes by lake street dive (situationships💔💔💔💔)

drag king bar by bitch and animal

butcheress by rabbitology

christmas wrapping by the waitresses (only a lesbian would see their ex situationship and go hey let me spend xmas with you)

meet me in brooklyn by yaya bey

vanilla tobacco by eloise

animal enough by maya hawke

i'll be your woman by st. paul & the broken bones

give you the world by steve lacy

crimson and clover by the shacks

may 10, '25 - i went to a lucy dacus concert and left as a religious person

okay the title is somewhat of an exaggeration because i'm not *actually* religious but i felt closer to any cosmic power than i've ever felt there. i went to the may 9 lucy dacus concert in dallas and it sincerely blew my mind.

i'm not one to cry at movies, books, concerts, plays, etc. unless i'm extremely hormonal. usually it takes me a couple days to process and then i'll cry. however, when i went to that concert and sat in box M... i felt otherworldly.

i was crying like a baby through most of it. i felt like my heart was floating out of my body like those cartoon ghosts post-mortem. me and my best friend wiping each others tears cause the other was too distracted to notice. having silly conversations about elementary school memories in between sets. screaming my life away to night shift like a mega church attendee when they hear oceans by hillsong united. head and heart connected to each and every one in that big ass opera house.

i grew up in the southern baptist church, i moved to methodism, nowadays i'm agnostic of sorts. i never understood those people who sung louder than the choir at church and read bibles 24/7. now i understand it.

i did a presentation called sacred secular in my parents sunday school class a couple weeks ago and it was all about songs that feel holy and sacred and gospel-like but aren't church songs. rejoice by julien baker was the first song on my list. i feel like it really applies to my current state and this concert. screaming the lyrics to all of lucy's songs and airing my grievances without saying anything. embracing my queer joy, grieving my former loves, embracing my hormonal lesbian self, and tearing up over my issues with self-confidence. "i rejoice and complain" is relatable beyond belief. fuck man. i'm sobbing now.

[sankttealeaf]

16, 17, and 19 for Rue?

of course!!!! answering these character asks!

16. Is there any memes or running jokes associated with the character, both in- and out of universe?

in universe:

the tadpole gang refuse to let her cook because they saw her eating dwarf meat ONE time and they will continue to bring it up

rue: i'm so hungry i could eat a-

everyone: a dwarf??

also, being a sorcerer she and gale have very different ways of casting spells so rue will sometimes (in the early days of her crush on him) go up to him and be like "gale, i dont know how to cast fireball. can you help me?" despite casting it half an hour ago in combat (she just wants to hear him talk!!)

the others pick up on this and tease her about it. astarion and karlach are the WORST and rue gets so embarrassed whenever they go up to gale to be like "gale 🥺 please help us cast spells 🥺 please kiss me afterwards 🥺🥺"

(she "accidentally" catches them in her next aoe spell she casts as payback)

out of universe:

i cant remember how it came to be but despite rue having tav 4's voice (soft spoken and posh) @kaleido-scope-lady mentioned rue having a scouse accent and there have been a few dramatic readings of various fics of mine with scouse!rue (and yorkshire!gortash) and its hilarious. rip rue you wouldve loved living in liverpool (ive never been. couldnt tell u what its like up there)

17. Are there any motifs or symbols associated with the character? How are they represented, in their design, personality or in some other way?

dog motif is a big one!

bhaal's loyal pup.

gortash's attack dog.

a feral beast who needs to be put down.

ketheric calls her gortash's dog and she loses her mind.

raphael makes a comment about how gortash ought to have a stronger hold on her leash and she wants to rip into the devil there and then

gortash calls her bhaal's perfect little pet and she growls at him.

she looks in the mirror and sees a loyal dog who sits and begs for love from men who will never give it to her.

she bites and she bites and she bites

despite the murder flowing through her veins she wants to be good and if that means muzzling herself, so be it.

there's also several songs with dog imagery on her playlist (im your man - mitski, bet on losing dogs - mitski, dog years - halsey, that unwanted animal - the amazing devil (counts because animal imagery), saint bernard - lincoln, it will come back - hozier)

something about loyalty, hopeless devotion to beings who use her for their own gain. a farmer has a dog to protect its livestock. gortash has rue to help him up the social ladder of the gate. bhaal has rue to kill in his name, to breed in his name, to sow fear in his name.

she'll sit and be submissive and follow orders because it will get her affection. a pat on the head. a kiss on the cheek. they'll want her because she's useful. she'll always be useful because then they cant replace her.

she's good and will sit and stay and only bite when asked to. give her time and she will curl by the fire. put her down because it's kinder than watching her suffer. that's how orin saw it.

19. What is your general favourite thing about the character? What is your least favourite?

there's hope throughout her story.

hope that things will get better. things will change. it will hurt and it will be painful but it will get better.

she's a character with a lot of trauma, a lot of bad shit happened to her and because of her and its very easy for her to fall into the trap of blaming herself because she cant see the bigger picture. but with time she understands that that isnt always the case

i look at rue and i see hope. that life can get better. it will, if you allow it to. mourn, grieve, cry over the version of yourself you will never get to have again, but embrace the new part of you with joy and kindness

my least favourite part of her is the fact that she chose gortash out of all people to fuck. she shouldve been a lesbian ;-; (/hj, but she really is too pretty for him. rue, im right here. be with me instead)

[idv-ask-the-showman]

Unexpected Guest - Part 2

I really struggle to write this part so it may sound a bit fast paced and all over the place but I just wanna get this over with lol- so forgive me if there is any typos or if the writing is genuinely bad qwq

Part 3 probably would be the final one tho :3

“COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BRAT!!”

The hunter yells on the top of his lungs at Flynn who was running away from the hunter and basically Kiting him.

Each time the hunter gets close to him, Flynn uses one of his daggers to throw at him which leads to either actually hitting the guy or him avoiding the daggers or even melting them with his flames… which makes Flynn upset to watch his beloved daggers being destroyed.

“ALL YOU DO IS RUN!”

“Fancy coming from you- OH SHOOT!!”

The hunter dashed at Flynn ready to punch him with a fist of flames but in the nick of time, Flynn avoided it and only got his left arm hit, although it ended up with his sleeve burned, he immediately put it out. Although it exposed the bullet wound on his arm… seeing the wound, the hunter couldn’t help but laugh at the sight.

Remembering fondly how he shot the dame kid on his arm.

“Such a nasty wound you got there~ I can tell you didn’t even bother to get the bullet out, right?”

Flynn frowned while covering his arm with his hand yet soon smirk, remembering how this bullet means nothing compared to what HE DID to Hugo.

“Do not even try to act all proud now, remember how i stabbed you 47 TIMES?”

“!!!”

That dame Childe even remember how many times he stabbed him…

Flynn smirked “what~ Not so smug now?”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DEMON!”

The hunter dashed in rage towards Flynn once more. Flynn was about to use another dagger to stun him, but sadly, he ran out of daggers. He had no choice but to run as fast as he could before the hunter got to him. He ran towards a pallet, but only stood in front of it on the opposite side, not showing any signs that he was going to drop it. He just stood there, waiting for the hunter to get him.

The hunter didn’t think much of it and continued dashing towards the survivor until - BAM! Even though Flynn didn’t move at all, the pallet still fell down and stunned him. Apparently, Sam was hiding behind the wall next to the pallet, waiting for the hunter to get near.

While the hunter was recovering from the stun, Sam grabbed Flynn and ran away with him. Once the hunter finally recovered, he was about to chase after the kids, but before he could, he was immediately stopped by Rue, who jumped right in front of him, pointing her sword at him with a calm yet serious look.

“Do not even think about it…”

{meanwhile with Flynn and Sam}

When they finally arrived to a safe spot, Flynn finally allowed himself to fall to his knees. He was so exhausted already and the burn in his arm didn’t help.

“Whoa there! Take it easy, we already lost him…”

“Yeah… god that was- OUCH! HEY WATCH IT!”

“Don’t be a cry baby now, I am trying my best!”

Sam tried to help Flynn with his burn wound… you can tell she is struggling with how to treat it.

“that’s a really bad one, that guy truly want you head.”

“Tell me about it…”

It didn’t take long before they heard footsteps approaching them, they were ready to make a run for it if were the hunter!

“H-Hey! It's alright you two, It's just me!”

It was thankfully just Angel… he approached the two and kneeled down.

“That’s a really bad one… your brother would be upset when he see it, Flynn”

“I know….”

Angel sigh and looked at Sam “you go ahead and focus on decoding the last machine, I will take care of Flynn” Sam hesitated for a bit but sigh and nodded, before she stand up she took something from her bag and handed it to Flynn.

“Here, I found one of your daggers on the ground.”

“OH MY SWEET BABY YOU ARE SAFE!”

Flynn immediately took the dagger with pure joy and relief on his face as if Sam just found his lost child. Sam just sigh to that while Angel laugh nervously a bit… if only he cared about his own well being as much as he cares for his daggers.

With that Sam left while Angel stayed with Flynn and treating his wounds. They can hear from the distance the sounds of Rue and the Hunter fighting.

“Would Rue be okay?”

“I hope so…”

{back to Rue and The Hunter}

Rue was hold the hunter back from going after the others and with each passing second, he keep raging more and more to the point his flames started to engulf the area and even at some points Rue’s sword would be engulfed with flames but she would put it off immediately or use it to her advantage.

She seemed calm the whole time while the other started to get impatient yet tried to talk to her… more like yelling.

“GET OUT OF MY WAY WOMAN! You are not who I am after, leave and I promise you I would let you and the other get the win, I just need that BRAT!- GAH!”

Rue cut him off by kicking him with her leg, sending him back far away from her.

“You are trying to kill him… that against the rules of the matches.”

Between his coughs after the kick, he started to laugh for awhile.

“Rules?… RULES??!!! WHO CARES ABOUT THAT??? THAT CHILD MURDERED ME!! HE IS A KILLER!!! HE SHOULD NOT BE PROTECTED BY THOSE STUPID RULES!”

Rue swing her sword at the hunter, in which he managed to avoid it.

“So also half of the people in this manor… your point?”

Talking to this woman is pointless, she is as stubborn as a rock and would change her mind no matter what he say or do. He better find another way to get pass her…

-To Be Continued.

[mischieffoal]

Wonder - a Delloso de la Rue fan animatic

Set to "Wonder" from the Lord of the Rings musical, to combine my two current obsessions!! Galadriel and Rue have similar roles - people with a lot of power, who have had that much power for far too long, and have had to learn to be kind, rather than to do what they think is right.

Video description and favourite stills below the cut:

Video description: animation of print outs of Fey and Flowers character art alongside plants, letters and other trinkets. Image changes with each lyric:

"I sang of leaves / of leaves of gold / and leaves there grew Of wind I sang / of wind there came / and in them blew Lothlorien In light I wove / a secret land / of timeless joy My perfect child / no mortal hand / could dare destroy Lothlorien Beyond the sun / beyond the moon Wonder"

Then here's my fave shot, it's now my desktop background because the colours just came out so perfectly

And finally, the ripped up letter to cry over

[bookclub4m]

Episode 196 - Battle of the Books 2024: One Book One Podcast

This episode we’re giving our book pitches for our Battle of the Books 2023! Each of us has picked one title that we think we should all read and discuss and you get to vote for which one it is! Will we read Trust Kids!: Stories on Youth Autonomy and Confronting Adult Supremacy edited by carla joy bergman, The Seep by Chana Porter, A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking by T Kingfisher, or Inheritance: a Pick-the-path Experience by Daniel Arnold, Darrell Dennis, and Medina Hahn? You decide! 

You can download the podcast directly, find it on Libsyn, or get it through Apple Podcasts or your favourite podcast delivery system.

In this episode

Anna Ferri | Meghan Whyte | Matthew Murray 🦇 | Jam Edwards

What Book Should We Read?

Trust Kids!: Stories on Youth Autonomy and Confronting Adult Supremacy edited by carla joy bergman

The Seep by Chana Porter

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking by T Kingfisher

Inheritance: a Pick-the-path Experience by Daniel Arnold, Darrell Dennis, and Medina Hahn

Our Long Lists

Jam

How Far the Light Reaches: A Life in Ten Sea Creatures by Sabrina Imbler

Floating Hotel by Grace Curtis

Anna

Technoableism: Rethinking Who Needs Improvement by Ashley Shew

Laziness Does Not Exist by Devon Price

Meghan

The Saint of Bright Doors by Vajra Chandrasekera

Matthew

Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World by Naomi Klein

Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men by Caroline Criado Pérez

Podcast Episodes

Episode 058 - The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making

Episode 079 - Which Book Should We Read?

Episode 083 - The Fifth Season

Episode 103 - Battle of the Books 2020

Episode 107 - Pet by Akwaeke Emezi

Episode 130 - Battle of the Books 2021

Episode 134 - Piranesi by Susanna Clarke

Episode 154 - Book pitches

Episode 159 - Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose by Leigh Cowart

Episode 179 - Battle of the Books 2023

Episode 183 - One Book One Podcast: Upright Women Wanted

Links, Articles, and Things

One City One Book (Wikipedia)

Canada Reads (Wikipedia)

Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

INHERITANCE - a "pick-the-path" teaser (YouTube)

Inheritance: a pick-the-path experience - trailer (YouTube)

Inheritance - interview with the playwrights (YouTube)

22 Nature/Outdoor Non-Fiction by BIPOC Authors

Every month Book Club for Masochists: A Readers’ Advisory Podcasts chooses a genre at random and we read and discuss books from that genre. We also put together book lists for each episode/genre that feature works by BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, & People of Colour) authors. All of the lists can be found here.

Spirit Run: A 6,000-Mile Marathon Through North America's Stolen Land by Noé Álvarez

Better Living Through Birding: Notes From a Black Man in the Natural World by Christian Cooper

Soil: The Story of a Black Mother's Garden by Camille T. Dungy

Black Faces, White Spaces: Reimagining the Relationship of African Americans to the Great Outdoors by Carolyn Finney

Fresh Banana Leaves: Healing Indigenous Landscapes Through Indigenous Science by Jessica Hernandez

Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer

The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World by Robin Wall Kimmerer

The Home Place: Memoirs of a Colored Man's Love Affair with Nature by J. Drew Lanham

The Urban Birder by David Lindo

Nature Swagger: Stories and Visions of Black Joy in the Outdoors by Rue Mapp

Wild Girls: How the Outdoors Shaped the Women Who Challenged a Nation by Tiya Miles

The Adventure Gap: Changing the Face of the Outdoors by James Edward Mills

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments by Aimee Nezhukumatathil, illustrated by Fumi Nakamura

Heartbeat of the Earth: A Handbook on Connecting Children to Nature through Indigenous Teachings by Launa Purcell

Trace: Memory, History, Race and the American Landscape by Lauret Savoy

A Darker Wilderness: Black Nature Writing from Soil to Stars by Erin Sharkey

A Short History of the Blockade: Giant Beavers, Diplomacy and Regeneration in Nishnaabewin by Leanne Betasamosake Simpson

Dispossessing the Wilderness: Indian Removal and the Making of the National Parks by Mark David Spence

The Backyard Bird Chronicles by Amy Tan

Why We Swim by Bonnie Tsui

Wild Life: Finding My Purpose in an Untamed World by Rae Wynn-Grant

An Immense World: How Animal Senses Reveal the Hidden Realms Around Us by Ed Yong

Give us feedback!

Fill out the form to ask for a recommendation or suggest a genre or title for us to read!

Vote for which we should read!

Check out our Tumblr, follow us on Instagram, join our Facebook Group or Discord Server, or send us an email!

Join us again on July 2nd we’ll be discussing the genre of Law/Legal Non-Fiction!

Then on Tuesday, August 6th we’ll be talking about the romance genres of Yaoi and Danmei!

[poemoftheday]

Poem of the Day 1 January 2024

The Death Of The Old Year BY ALFRED TENNYSON

Full knee-deep lies the winter snow, And the winter winds are wearily sighing: Toll ye the church bell sad and slow, And tread softly and speak low, For the old year lies a-dying. Old year you must not die; You came to us so readily, You lived with us so steadily, Old year you shall not die.

He lieth still: he doth not move: He will not see the dawn of day. He hath no other life above. He gave me a friend and a true truelove And the New-year will take 'em away. Old year you must not go; So long you have been with us, Such joy as you have seen with us, Old year, you shall not go.

He froth'd his bumpers to the brim; A jollier year we shall not see. But tho' his eyes are waxing dim, And tho' his foes speak ill of him, He was a friend to me. Old year, you shall not die; We did so laugh and cry with you, I've half a mind to die with you, Old year, if you must die.

He was full of joke and jest, But all his merry quips are o'er. To see him die across the waste His son and heir doth ride post-haste, But he'll be dead before. Every one for his own. The night is starry and cold, my friend, And the New-year blithe and bold, my friend, Comes up to take his own.

How hard he breathes! over the snow I heard just now the crowing cock. The shadows flicker to and fro: The cricket chirps: the light burns low: 'Tis nearly twelve o'clock. Shake hands, before you die. Old year, we'll dearly rue for you: What is it we can do for you? Speak out before you die.

His face is growing sharp and thin. Alack! our friend is gone, Close up his eyes: tie up his chin: Step from the corpse, and let him in That standeth there alone, And waiteth at the door. There's a new foot on the floor, my friend, And a new face at the door, my friend, A new face at the door.

[ukdamo]

Amoretti LIV: Of this worlds Theatre in which we stay

Edmund Spenser

Of this worlds Theatre in which we stay, My love lyke the Spectator ydly sits Beholding me that all the pageants play, Disguysing diversly my troubled wits. Sometimes I joy when glad occasion fits, And mask in myrth lyke to a Comedy: Soone after when my joy to sorrow flits, I waile and make my woes a Tragedy. Yet she beholding me with constant eye, Delights not in my merth nor rues my smart: But when I laugh she mocks, and when I cry She laughes, and hardens evermore her hart. What then can move her? if not merth nor mone, She is no woman, but a sencelesse stone.

[ruthholloway]

#️　　𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚑𝚘𝚕𝚕𝚘𝚠𝚊𝚢　　╭  a   dependent   blog   affiliated with windsorbay  loved   and   taken   care   of   by   j.

❛ ⸻  BASICS .

name:  ruth anna - maria holloway.

nickname:  rue. 

birthday & age: feburary 7th, 1990 & 35.

zodiac:  aquarius sun, leo moon, sagittarius rising.

positive traits:  authentic, emotionally intuitive, resilient.

negative traits:  avoidant, self-sabotaging, emotionally dependent. 

hometown:  windsor bay, oregon.

length of time in windsor bay:  her whole life, off and on.

occupation(s):  musician / singer - songwriter.

gender & sexuality:  cis woman &  doesn't care to label herself. she likes who she likes and thats that.

❛ ⸻ AT A GLANCE .

THE CACKLE OF VINYL BEFORE A TRACK STARTS, ECHOES OF THE SPOTLIGHT, GLITTER FADING, EMOTIONS RAW UNDER STAGE LIGHTS. DEMOS RECORDED IN MOTEL BATHROOMS. SONGS THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CRY FOR HELP. WORN LEATHER JOURNALS WITH LYRICS SCRIBBLED IN PEN. SALT - STAINED DENIM, WINDSWEPT HAIR, FEELING LIKE A MEMORY INSTEAD OF PERSON. MISMATCHED RINGS, CIGARETTE BURNS ON SLEEVES. A GIRL WITH TALENT AND TRAUMA TANGLED LIKE IVY; STILL BLOOMING THROUGH THE CRACKS.

“ DO YOU HAVE ANY REGRETS? WHAT ARE THEY? "

rue leans back in her chair, fingers toying with the edge of her sleeve, eyes distant. " yeah. i’ve got regrets. too many to count, honestly, but if i had to choose one that cuts the deepest — it’s not walking off that stage sooner. not saying no when i knew i needed to. " rue hesitates, debating if she should say anything further. " i kept performing long after my soul left the room, just to keep my mom smiling, just to prove to people that i was still worth something. i thought if i sang loud enough, maybe someone would love me for real. but i regret giving away parts of myself just to be seen. i regret chasing people who were already walking away. " a beat of quiet thought. " ... and i regret not asking more questions about my brother. i let silence win. "

" ARE YOU A LEADER OR A FOLLOWER? "

she lets out a dry laugh, somewhere between tired and knowing. " neither. or ... maybe both, depending on the day. " a shrug is given. " i don’t like telling people what to do — it feels too much like control, and i’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime. but i’m not great at following, either, not anymore. i followed my mother’s dream until it swallowed mine whole, y'know? and now? i think i’m trying to just walk my own damn path. even if it’s crooked. even if i trip. so, i guess i’m learning to lead — but just myself. for now, that’s enough."

" IT'S THE LITTLE THINGS IN LIFE; TELL ME THREE THINGS THAT BRING YOU A GREAT DEAL OF JOY OR PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE. "

her face softens. the guardedness fades, just a little. " okay ... one — when the tide comes in right around sunset, and the whole ocean turns this smoky gold? that. it makes me feel like the world is still beautiful, even if i’m not. two — old records. like, vinyl. i’ve got a stack of them in the attic. sometimes i’ll put one on, lie on the floor, and let the needle crackle before the music starts. it’s the only kind of silence i like. three — kids who sing off-key but do it anyway. y'know, like they don’t care who’s listening. there’s something honest in that. something i used to be. "

❛ ⸻  THE STORY .

trigger warnings: missing child, child neglect, public breakdown/panic attacks.

ruth holloway — “ rue ” to anyone who knew her before the cameras — was born in the coastal hush of windsor bay, oregon. her story began like a bruise: slow, spreading, and easy to overlook if you didn’t look too closely.

her father, jesse keller, disappeared when rue was three, leaving behind only his last name and a hollow kind of silence. her mother, elena holloway, unraveled ten years later when rue’s older brother, federick, vanished without a trace. rue never knew him — just the shape of his absence. after federick’s case was closed a month later, elena was never the same. rue would later come to understand that she was not a daughter born, but a second chance summoned.

for years, rue lived as a ghost in her own home — ignored, invisible — until elena overheard her thirteen-year-old daughter turning grief into melody. that day, rue became something else: a lifeline, a prodigy, a project.

elena threw her into voice lessons, songwriting bootcamps, acting schools. rue didn’t resist — attention was attention, and for a while it felt like love. but when the competitions began, rue realized the painful truth: she wasn’t elena’s child. she was elena’s redemption arc.

still, rue had her own reasons to stay in the spotlight. on stage, she felt whole. heard. safe. she sang her way into local fame, released a few indie ep's that danced on the outskirts of chart success, and became windsor bay’s hometown star — the broken-girl siren with lyrics that cracked your ribs open.

after the eps came the offers: a voice role in a brightly coloured kids' show about a jazz-singing otter, then another — a space-exploring koala with stage fright. rue lent her voice to characters who knew exactly who they were, even when she didn’t. the gigs paid well. the attention didn’t hurt.

commercials followed — soft drinks, headphones, eco-friendly sneakers. she smiled on cue, sang two-second hooks that wormed into people’s heads, and watched her face flicker across tv screens like she belonged there. and maybe she did. for a while.

in 2015, she won best album for saltwater skin, a raw, sea-soaked record that critics called “ achingly cinematic. ” she did it again in 2018 with the hollow hour, a darker, sharper project stitched with references to grief, ghosts, and vanishing acts. the trophies looked good on her mother’s mantel. the headlines called her a haunting.

and yet — after all of it, all the winning and the exposure and the applause — ruth was beginning to feel empty. tapped out.

the girl who once sang to survive couldn’t remember what surviving even meant. the spotlight had become a kind of anesthesia: warm, numbing, blinding. and somewhere behind it, the real rue — the girl who hummed to herself in a silent house, who sang just to be heard — was beginning to disappear.

everything changed when elena signed her up — without consent — for a high-profile international showcase tour. rue said no. until she saw one of the stops: the city her father once sent a lone postcard from on her 18th birthday. a breadcrumb in the dark. the tour became her chance to confront jesse. to ask why she was the one left behind.

she performed in countries she couldn’t navigate and slept in hotels that didn’t remember her name. when she finally reached her father, she found a man with a new life, new children, but he let her in anyway. made her coffee. called her "kid" like it still meant something. they talked. they made up, sort of. in the way people do when they’re too tired to fight anymore. for a minute, she thought she could stay. for a minute, she thought this could be something.

but it took a few months — a few weird phone calls, a few too many " hey, can you help me out just this once? " — before she realized: he didn’t want her back. he wanted her money. that was the break — not of her heart, but of everything.

what followed was quiet chaos. panic attacks disguised as sound checks. emotional spirals mid-encore.

then came the stage in berlin — where the lights felt too bright, the song too fake, the crowd too loud. rue walked off mid-verse. then collapsed. the video went viral before she even reached the airport.

now, rue is back in windsor bay. the town is the same, just smaller. her mother is older, colder. the music industry moved on without her. the fans now write concerned reddit posts. her voice still works — but she hasn't touched her guitar in months. it's not hard to tell that most know what happened. the whispers follow her at the grocery store, in the gas station parking lot, outside the community center where she once sang for free. rue tells herself she came back to heal, but the truth is, she didn’t know where else to go.

she sits by the ocean sometimes. the same cliffs her brother used to walk before he disappeared. she hums melodies no one hears, writes verses she never finishes. she’s not sure if she’ll sing again. not for crowds. not for charts. maybe just for herself.

she’s not a star. not a daughter. not a brand. she’s just rue again. and maybe for the first time in her life — that might be enough.