Danny: Hey, I need you to be my boyfriend for a week.
Jason: What.
Danny: My parents are coming over and I've apparently accidentally talked about a partner more than once and only realized when they said they wanted to meet them.
Jason, currently still solidifying his power as a Crime Lord: Excuse me?
Danny: Let me get this out of the way, I do not consider you at all a person of romantical interest and a friend. But I need you to act as my partner for only a week until my parents go on their merry way over to my sister, okay?
Jason: Is there, quite literally, no one else to ask this?
Danny: You're my only friend who lives in Gotham, plus we share the same apartment.
Jason: That's almost sad.
Danny: You in?
Jason: Sure, why not.
===
Maddie: Danny, honey.
Danny: Yes mom?
Maddie: I don't mean to.... question, who you choose as your parent but. Well, me and your father was just wandering if he was a... [Maddie gestures with her hand] you know, one of those.
Danny, uncomprehendingly staring at his mother's hand: What.
Maddie: Oh dear, how do I bring this up. You know, one of those.
Danny: Mother I need more context.
Jack: If your boyfriend a crime lord!?
Maddie: Jack!
Jack: What? Beating around the bush wasn't helping!
Danny: Say WHAT?
===
Danny: Hey dude, thanks for helping with this even though you didn't need to!
Jason: No problem, I wasn't doing anything too [Crime Lord activities flash through his mind] important.
Danny: Can you believe my parents thought you were a crime lord though? Weird am I right?
Jason:
Danny: Jason. You are scaring me.
Jason: Haha, yea that's weird isn't it?
Danny: Jason.
Jason: Well, I have to leave now to attend to my totally real and totally not crime related job at the ice cream shop.
Danny: [Squints eyes]
Jason: [Internally sweating bullets]
Danny: Suuuuure, bring me back some ice cream though.
Jason: [Thumbs up and leaves]
4K notes
·
View notes
canon is dead I rule the world. dsmp you are MINE
dsmpblrs ocs shared between the 5 (five) singular people that inhabit this fandom
I'm taking the chance to just talk about my personal dsmp au that is basically canon if you don't think about it
I don't think we as a community wrote enough about demon ctommy. he was always my favorite it just gives him this evil vibe that I think is sooo funny and I always see it in ctommy art but never in literally any fic. and that's fine but imp or whatever-he-is-Tommy will always be real in my heart. in my head he used to be a bird hybrid, but when he died for what was supposed to be the final time they took his fucking wings and gave him cunty demon horns and tail. Death made him emo. for the sake of this narrative his wings used to be white too. Pair this with religious ctommy and you get peak
ctubbo. I think about him a lot. I think personally he wears armor under his coat. You'd think it start to get hot under there, and it does. his solution is to just Never leave the Arctic.
At some point he started developing resting bitch face, because it used to just be resting (autistic face of neutrality) but now he kind of just looks tired all the time. Not like Tommy's rbf where he looks like he's kinda pissed and has a headache 24/7. but at least they're semi matching now. bff's!!! (?) I can't write too much about ctubbo because my cutbbo is like 20 billion contradictions stacked on itself. he's not as simple as my ctommy.
He doesn't wear the red bandana anymore but he can't tell you why and he's not insecure about the scar on his face but he's not proud of it either. I FORGOT TO DRAW CRANBOO AND HIS WEDDING RINGS IM AN ANTI WHAT THE HELLL okay ignoring that blunder, their wedding rings are meant to be on their horns 💔 you can't fucking see cranboos singular (1) horn because it's out of frame, they're too tall.
SPEAKONG OF CRANBOO!!!! snakes in his hair because Hahhaa hattte eye contact????? Medusa???? get it guys get it do you guys get jut
The snakes talk to him. Take that as you will. He's a chronic suit wearer and will literally not wear anything else unless it's under or over the suit. he would like to never try anything new ever he needs this constant in his life or everything will fall apart and the world will end. He knows how to kit up and wear armor but just as a joke he wears random bits of armor in places he literally needs it least. as a fashion statement. Tommy doesn't wear any armor usually bcz who gaf he's not doing that shit
in my perfect world the egg plot in dsmp actually got used better and becsme more than a background plot. it could've been everything. anyway my dsmp au is egg war las Nevadas craziness and I'm right goodnight
3K notes
·
View notes
🐾 Cat Scratches - [James “Logan” Howlett x Reader]
WARNINGS: lots of fluff, brief mention of neck kisses, some suggestive comments but nothing past PG
CHARACTERS: James “Logan” Howlett (Wolverine, MARVEL/X-MEN)
🐾 .*.. 🕯️
Logan laid comfortably on your stomach, his arms wrapped around your lower back and hips as he buried his face into your abdomen, the bare skin of your tummy visible just slightly underneath your sweater.
Lazily scrolling through your phone, splayed out across his bed with him on top of you, your fingers trailed over his upper shoulders, scratching the fabric of his white compression shirt, rubbing his sore muscles from a long day of training and battle practice.
As your fingers trailed upwards mindlessly on his back, your manicured nails finally reached the nape of his neck, teasing the edge of his hairline.
Scrolling down further through your instagram, you let out a soft sigh of content as your fingers finally buried into the hair on the back of his head, eliciting a low rumble from the back of his throat.
You perked up at this, glancing past the dimmed screen of your device, an eyebrow quirked upwards at his reaction.
“You alright, Lo?”
You muttered out, a small, curious smile tugging at your glossy lips, damp from your teeth gently biting at them out of unconscious habit.
“Mmmh,”
He responded in a low hum, leaning into your fingers as you smiled, a small, amused chuckle leaving your lips at his fingers that slid lower on your back, cupping the backs of your thighs with a slightly possessive grip.
You felt a soft, warm press of his chapped lips against your stomach, just above your panty line, and a small laugh left your lips as he buried his nose further into you, inhaling without hesitation. In response, your legs opened slightly underneath him, wrapping them around his broad midsection with a light squeeze.
Preferring the man in front of you opposed to the celebrities on your phone, you dropped it at your side, letting it become lost in the fluffy, unkept sheets next to your form as both your hands wrapped around his head, burying your fingers into his scalp.
A low, animalistic-like growl left his lips as you scratched through his hair, meeting the place behind his ears, where you knew he was most sensitive.
Tracing over the area where his jaw connected to his ear and neck, you let out a low hum in response, tilting your head propped up on one of his pillows to the side, your eyebrows knitting together lightly in curiosity at his pleasant reactions.
“Feels good, bub. Right- mmh. There.”
Your eyes narrowed at his borderline inappropriate hum, and you nodded, wordlessly continuing to scrape through his fluffy, unkept hair.
“I didn’t take you for a cat, Logan,” You teased quietly, a small vibration leaving your own form, similar to that of the buzz of an old stereo.
“Don’t mock me, sweetheart. Can’t help it,”
He shot back, his furry eyebrows knitting together as he finally shifted, pulling himself up further, allowing his face to move from your stomach to your collarbone, trying desperately not to go full deadweight on you, knowing he’d crush your frail form.
“Plus, ever since you got yer nails done-”
He didn’t finish his sentence as you raked through his head of hair once more, pushing his face into the warm skin of your exposed neck, muffling any protest from him.
“Stop talking, James. Sleep.”
You effectively hushed him, a small smile pulling at your face as he grumbled out something along the lines of ‘mm. Whatever,’ and ‘fine.’
You felt him pepper a few hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck, his teeth teasingly biting down on your exposed shoulder, before lapping at the new mark with his tongue, admiring his work with your taste.
“G’night, bub.”
You smiled at his subtle acceptance to your demand, your fingers frozen in his fluffy hair and partially in his long side shaves, nodding.
“Goodnight, kitty.”
2K notes
·
View notes