#see tws above!!

[lilymatthews]

Welcome to Aurora Bay, [LILY MATTHEWS]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [MARGARET QUALLEY]. You must be the [TWENTY-FIVE] year old [WAITRESS AT TEJAS CANTINA/GRAD STUDENT AT AURORA BAY COLLEGE]. Word is you’re [OUTSPOKEN] but can also be a bit [ENTITLED] and your favorite song is [BLOOD AND BUTTER by CAROLINE POLACHEK]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS]. I’m sure you’ll love it!

*Trigger Warnings: Drug abuse, drug overdose, divorce, drowning

STATS.

Full Name: Lily Matthews Nickname(s): Lil, Lils, Lilypad (her parents only) Gender: Cis woman,she/her Sexual Orientation: Bisexual Birthday: April 29, 1998 (25) Religion: None Nationality: American Ethnicity: White Hometown: Houston, Texas Current Residence: Ocean Crest Apartments Length of time in Aurora Bay: 3 months (as of 6/30/23) Occupation: Waitstaff at Tejas Cantina Education: Currently enrolled at Aurora Bay College working towards a Linguistics MA

Height: 5′6 Tattoos: Three butterflies under her right titty Piercings: Both lobes Scars: (tba)

Mother: Addie Matthews Father: Darren Matthews Siblings: Xavier Matthews (32) Pet(s): A teeny tiny little 4-year-old rat terrier called Norma Jean

PERSONALITY.

+ Outspoken, intelligent, witty, sympathetic - Entitled, sarcastic, judgmental, insecure

CURRENT CONNECTIONS.

@xaviermattthews — Lily's older brother

@lorelailewis — Cunty besties

QUICK FACTS.

not a bitch unless she gets pissed off then she's a stone cold bitch

slut!

great gf tho, very loyal would never cheat

pop princess. looooves pop music always blasting charli xcx on the way to the clubs

fashion girly. can be caught online shopping at 2.30am squinting at the screen 3 inches from her face

good artist but doesn't rly do much with it

drink fiend. always has like arizona tea or kombucha with her

genuinely loves linguistics and is fascinated with language (ideally wants to do research with language and apes) but she's not super ambitious so she has to work extra hard to make herself go out and do her research projects and work on her thesis and is secretly very anxious about her future in the field bc of it

between feeling like she could never possibly live up to what xavier's accomplished on one hand and on the other being pressured by her parents into "doing better" than her drug-addicted brother, she's developed massive insecurities about what she actually wants and who she is

almost drowned in the gulf of mexico when she was 12 after hurting her ankle and then going swimming after she was told not to. when she’s especially stressed or in a bad headspace she’ll have drowning dreams and it takes a while to fall back asleep. is totally fine with pools and will go into the water at the beach up to her waist but being fully submerged in open water will start giving her anxiety usually

DEEP DIVE.

Lily wasn't planned, which is ironic considering she wound up the golden child before she even turned ten -- Xavier, eight years older than her, went off the deep end when their parents divorced and by the time he overdosed five years later, Addie and Darren had both all but written him off and set about channelling all their hope for the future into Lily

She was six years old when their dad left and tried to compensate by becoming super-dad to her, and Lily was too young to understand the dynamic shift between her dad and her brother, or why it affected Xavier the way it did

Her teens were easy in a lot of important ways. She had a lot of friends, usually had a boyfriend, did well in most classes without having to spend all her time studying, and her parents got her pretty much whatever she wanted

In other important ways, her teen years were incredibly difficult. Her parents often used her against each other, which as she got older and started to see it saddled her with a weird type of guilt and resentment. Meanwhile her brother, whom she idolized growing up, was off doing drugs and, eventually, getting famous

She got an English degree right out of high school at the University of Houston but took a couple years after that to try and figure out what exactly she wanted to do, before finally deciding on Linguistics only last year

In that liminal space in between, she worked a waitressing job at an upscale restaurant and lived with her boyfriend whom she'd started dating her sophomore year of college. It was a healthy relationship and her parents loved him, and in the end it was him wanting to start settling down together before either of them were 25 that led to their breakup

It was a combination of that breakup one year ago, and her brother getting sober just about a year before that, that spurred Lily on to making a huge change in her life -- that being, moving to Aurora Bay to finish her MA, and to try and reconnect with Xavier

She's been here three months, is just settling into the new routine of things, and still hasn't contacted her brother to tell him she's in town

[wis-art]

Lucy celebrating her 31st birthday!

(I am manifesting getting to live to 30 as a trans woman)

[s0fter-sin]

ghost fucking soap so hard and so good he passes out but he utterly panics about it

he thinks he must’ve ignored soap asking to stop; was it pain that made him pass out? how bad could it have been to make him pass out when he’s been shot and kept going? should he bring him to medical? he’ll never touch him again, he’ll never so much as look at him again; he’ll ask for a transfer- fuck that, a dishonourable discharge. there’s no coming back from this

he spirals, guilt chasing hatred chasing despair chasing fear, until soap finally wakes back up

soap's still floating, loose-limbed and buzzing; fucked so thoroughly out of his head that it takes him a while to notice ghost isn't in bed with him anymore. he frowns, lifting a heavy head off the pillow and freezes. ghost's on the other side of the room, curled up tight in the corner as far away from soap as he could get without leaving him alone

(he would've left, would've made sure soap never had to see his face again and be reminded of what he did to him, of the monster he’d let into his bed- but he couldn't just leave him unconscious; what if he didn't wake up, he had to make sure he was safe first even if he'll rightfully hate him forever when he does wake up)

soap's voice when he calls out to him makes him flinch, his head burying deeper in his knees. cold worry chases the bliss from his blood and soap pushes himself up but his shaking arms can't hold his weight

the sound of him collapsing back onto the bed makes ghost rear up, his panic growing and soap's heart breaks at his red rimmed eyes

it takes a long time for soap to coax him back to the bed, countless loops of, "sweetheart, please, come here, what happened? it's okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

(and how ghost’s self-hatred grows hearing soap comforting him; hearing the concern and love in his voice when he doesn’t deserve a drop of it)

it takes even longer for ghost to believe soap when he says that he passed out because he felt so good; that he never asked ghost to stop, never wanted him to stop. that he trusts him more than anything and knows he'd rather die than ever hurt him, especially like that

“you’re not a monster, love,” he promises, soft with conviction and it’s as much a surrender as a relief when he collapses into his lap and lets him hold him close

ghost believes johnny but he still can't bring himself to be intimate with him for a while; that fear still haunting him, but soap doesn't hold it against him, doesn't complain about ghost's perceived "step back" in their relationship

hell, ghost seems to hate it more than he does; he misses being with soap, misses the connection, the closeness they shared, the safety and quiet he found in his embrace, but he's always trusted soap more than he trusts himself

soap doesn't let him be consumed by his fear or worse, sabotage them and turn it into a punishment; doesn't let him even get through the suggestion of switching because he knows how much he hates it and he won’t let him twist something as good and pure as their physical love into something self-harming

instead, he brings them back to the basics, working through the steps to get ghost comfortable with intimacy again, to get him to trust himself again; spends happy months just grinding and exchanging handjobs like when their relationship first started

and it's a happy day for them both when soap finally falls apart on his cock once again, anxiety the farthest thing from ghost's mind when his arms are wrapped so tightly around him, kissing a smile against his lips

[sarcasticmothdraws]

⚠️ Content Warning: Gore

Specifically head injury/blunt force trauma(?)

Vash is fine btw.

Btw this is not really an au or anything, more like redraws. I don't think the trigun gang matches these characters, I just thought it would be funny to put them in the saw bathroom.

[uncanny-tranny]

I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.

Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.

Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.

"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.

That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.

[thatsbelievable]

[babblingbonnabel]

🪡 + 🔨 | more yapping!!

NOTE: because so many bigger members of the Avarice Battalion are from the Omega clan, a big portion go to The Garden to celebrate the Omega Tree every Spring (a large symbol of longevity and legacy for the clan...before they burned down lmaooo!!!).

[frownyalfred]

Ever since I read two fics about Bruce's kids being in the tower when it's falling, it's made that scene a million times tastier. Like, in one fic, the kids all lived and helped other people, and Bruce was a terminator trying to get to them and make them leave but they kept helping others to his great pride and anxiety. In one they all died and it fucked me up, particularly when Bruce told Clark after the events if BvS, and holy shit, I was crying like a little baby like that shit just hits different.

Just, grieving dad Bruce, who doesn't have superman and Tim to stop him from killing, trying to avenge all five of his kids like 👀👀👀 it was so good!

Yeah!! Not to get too weird about BVS (again) I think there are some serious parallels between 9/11 and the attack on Metropolis that critics really intentionally overlook -- not just that the destruction is similar, but that Bruce's anger/fear/etc closely parallels the US reaction in the immediate aftermath.

He lost a whole skyscraper of his employees -- people who were supposed to be safe in Metropolis, safer than they would probably be in Gotham. And yes, in certain fics, he loses not just his loyal employees, but his kids, too.

I will be the first one to mock BVS (for a variety of reasons) but the whole "oooh Batman started killing and acting OOC out of nowhere" thing always seemed kind of silly to me.

There's a reason his first adult on-screen introduction in that movie is literally him running into a dust cloud in shirtsleeves and loafers -- it's not about Batman. It's Bruce Wayne lifting beams and dragging children out of harm's way.

The Black Zero Event/Battle of Metropolis likely resulted in the death of thousands of people -- several times the destruction of 9/11, though I'm not sure if anyone ever gave an exact number.

It's strange that an event that is clearly presented to evoke that parallel is taken as a mediocre or misguided motivation for any character, much less Bruce -- who is in a unique position as a vigilante to actually do something, however small, about it.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Maybe this is a bad faith reading of how some people feel, but I've always been bothered by the whole "poor jews :(" reaction some people have when discussing antisemitism and/or jewish history in general. At times, it really comes off like antisemitism is a natural consequence of there Being Jews in the world, rather than a system of beliefs, thoughts, and actions that are learned, not inherent. It seems like an ideology of inevitability - it's inevitable that there will be another pogrom, all we can do is be bummed about it - say, "poor jews:(" and move on.

The thing about antisemitism is that, yes: it's an ancient bigotry. But it isn't inherent. Antisemitism is not required for the world to rotate. It can be combatted. And to me, "poor jews:(" doesn't substantively do enough to combat it.

*Do note that I would rather somebody be bummed about antisemitism than being willfully ignorant, or, worse, actively prevent themself from even learning about antisemitism, jewish history, and the fact that jews are (surprise, surprise!) inherently equal, complex, and human.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

"yes im so fine"

*researches whether i can get my hands on ipecac*

[blondedingdong]

A fairly personal piece of my persona John that I like a lot. It's her FF7!AU version. Lyrics are from the song "Good in Red". Prolly making this her theme for this AU since the lyrics resonate a lot with me. ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

[Where to find me] Toyhouse | Linktree

[rhineposting]

So is the implication from that headcanon is that Belos sexually a*saulted Hunter? If yes, why did he do it? Is it like a chain of harm thing, like he himself was abused as a child, or was it just to be a prick?

The short answer would be yes, but the long version is a bit more complex than that.

More in-depth, but possibly triggering answer, below the cut

Okay, so. I'll begin with a disclaimer again.

The Belos pictured above is not canon Belos, and never was supposed to be. He exists solely as a device to explore an alternative scenario that would not make sense for canon Belos, as well as the weight behind it.

The main difference between this Belos and the canon one, is that he does not perceive Hunter as his nephew - to him, he was simply the boy he made specifically for being available at the snap of a finger. The abuse depicted in canon was clearly based on familial bonds, so I wanted to stray from that.

Disclaimer over.

So. Let's begin with Hunter.

While he is certainly a victim, assault isn't exactly the word I'd use to describe the specific type of sexual abuse he had gone through. To me, assault always implied something sudden, violent and unwanted from the get go - you know it's wrong from the start.

And that's precisely the opposite of Hunter's situation as depicted in the fic.

He's what I like to call an Unsympathetic Victim - the kind that most people doubt when they describe their story, the kind that doesn't fit into the convenient, tasteful or sometimes fetishized box of what being a victim means. Sucks, but unfortunately, it still happens everywhere. Those people, though their experiences and feelings are viewed unsavory or even sometimes disgusting by society, are still just as valid as those approved by it. Trauma isn’t a fucking measuring contest, and that’s that.

As for what that exactly entails...

Hunter, due to being isolated from peers and other adults, ended up developing an unhealthy infatuation with Belos, which resulted both from him being the only "good" adult in his life, as well as intrusive thoughts based in his already existing trauma, on top of teenage hormonal changes. Of course, he had no idea that it was wrong. He had no reference points whatsoever on what was right and wrong.

At some point he had admitted to those feelings and normal for his age desires - which, unfortunately to him, Belos decided to entertain. I won't go too much into detail, but eventually, Belos and Hunter's already awful relationship ended up gaining a sexual layer to it.

Here is where the "unsympathetic" part starts :

Due to his lack of proper education and severe emotional manipulation from Belos, Hunter never considered himself a victim. Right up until he started watching that movie with Luz, he thought it was perfectly normal for a teenager and an adult to be in a sexual relationship. Of course, for him the adult in question turned out to be a genocidal maniac and narcissist, but he never hated those more intimate parts. If anything, he was always happy to participate as he did enjoy it, as ugly as it may sound.

Of course, his logic skips on the parts where Belos guilt-tripped consent out of him, or that he was afraid of the disappointment that would follow after openly saying no, which as we know resulted in physical abuse in canon. All he knew was that he trusted Belos and that the act itself was physically pleasurable for both of them, so it couldn't have actually been something wrong. That it couldn't have been abuse as well.

That is, again, right up until he was proven otherwise by Luz, to which he reacted with brief panic then shutting down. Not only was that last illusion of normalcy taken away from him, now he believes it was his fault for having those thoughts to begin with. If there was one thing Belos taught him well, it was the art of self-victim blaming.

But in shorter words...

No. Technically speaking Hunter was not assaulted - rather, he was groomed and coerced, and mayhaps gaslit. While those two situations are both sexual abuse, they are two different kinds of it and that kind of distinction is important.

Now, as for Belos...

I personally do not like writing him with a "chain of harm" trope, as likely as it might've been, because I feel like it defeats the point of him consciously making the decision to do the wrong thing for over 400 years.

However, reducing it to him just "being a prick" misses the point as well.

Canon Belos first and foremost, wanted to have complete and utter authority and control over Hunter, while also demanding devotion, adoration and loyalty from him - which applies to This version of Belos as well.

So, when Hunter ended up coming forward with his intrusive thoughts and desires, to Belos it was an opportunity for two things :

Truly becoming Hunter's number one everything - further preventing him from finding someone else to possibly prioritize over him, which is why in canon he detested the sight of Flapjack so much, on top of him being Caleb's/Evelyn's palisman. Anyone from the outside of his influence was a threat to his control over Hunter. So, with him being Hunter's God, mentor, caretaker, superior and then """lover""", he was This close to stopping the redemption arc from happening. Alas, Flapjack and Luz still came around.

Satisfying physical urges without having to look too far, and without the risk of landing with someone who could stab him in the back. Hunter just so happened to be the perfect fit : willing, obedient, not ugly and always available. Sometimes, that's all there is to it with abusers.

In shorter words, again : 

It was more about asserting his control and blowing off steam while at it, not just being an asshole.

Again, I cannot stress enough that this headcanon/interpretation/whatever is NOT meant to be in any way titillating or romanticizing sexual abuse. It is, first and foremost, a character study that’s based and inspired both by personal experiences and observations of both fiction and real life - in hopes of partially bringing light to often overlooked or stigmatized effects and types of trauma. In case you were wondering, no I am still not a therapist or any other kind of licensed professional, so do Not take my word as 100% credible and without fault as I am only human. That will be all for now.

[uweiy]

OKAY. *Inhales* OH NO HERE COMES TROUBLE WAS SO GOOD. SO ABSURDLY GOOD my god.

Not one weak episode from beginning to end. Such a compassionate take on pain, through how Pu Yiyong deals with "obsessions" left behind after a dear person departs.

It's such a show where there is no need for deeper analysis beyond the story because the story already CONTAINS multitudes. It's the story where you don't need to see yourself on the characters (even though you can) because they are such fully fleshed out human beings that you can watch the show for them and not for what you see in them.

And the balance between comedy, emotion and mystery is IMPECCABLE. Acting is top notch. I just.... Top 2023 drama FOR SURE. I think I'm going to be rewatching it right away.

I also think that the writers definitely left the possibility for a season 2 open, because although every thread has been neatly organized and brought close together, there is still opportunity to tie them tighter, and for the characters to grow. Personally I definitely HOPE for it, so... Spread the word I guess ╮⁠(⁠＾⁠▽⁠＾⁠)⁠╭

I loved it, I absolutely loved the journey, and I will miss it lots now that it's over.

[inthewaytoamultilinguallife]

hello, ive been learning portuguese for a bit and i was wondering if you had any recommendations for media? like youtubers, blogs, movies or series. if you do, thanks in advance

uff fuck, i will sure try my best but i can’t promise anything

I normally get my dose of Portuguese via going to academic workshops or working alongside Brazilian people, so I don’t exactly engage with media in Portuguese as a conscious learning process, I'm afraid. Like, for example, i normally just get a bunch of Instagram reels and TikToks cause I'm on the Brazilian side of instagram/tiktok, and not exactly because i follow any particular account or something, and i don’t level or recognize how hard the Portuguese is in each one, etc 

I have some series that i remember watching and liking tho, which are:

De volta aos 15: a drama/comedy series around a 30yo woman that time travels a few times to when she was 15 and tries to fix everyone's life, as one does

A sogra que te pariu: a very absurd sitcom in the best latinoamerican style (and set during covid)

Samantha!: Another comedy, now about a kid star from the '80s who is trying to launch herself back

Lulli: comedy, drama and romance. A medic student gets electrocuted and starts hearing everyone's thoughts

3%: suspense, fiction, drama. Set on a diasporic word where, while everyone gets a one-time change to better their life, only the 3% makes it

Ciudad invisible: Drama, mystery. This one has lots of references to folk culture and stories! It's about a man who, after a family tragedy, starts seeing different mythological creatures that will help him uncover the past

omnisciente: sci-fi, drama, thriller. The city is controlled and watched all the time everywhere by drones. A woman tries to solve a murder that the drones never picked on + plus discover how fucked up the system and the drones are

Coisa mais linda: Drama, romance, set in 1959, after getting cheated on and left alone, a woman sets herself to open her own bossa nova club

ninguem tá olheando: comedy, drama, fantasy after discovering some secrets of the bureaucratic angelic system, a guardian angel set himself to break every rule that there is for protecting humans

Valentina: drama a young trans girl moves to a more conservative rural town 

Alice júnior: Coming of age film about a YouTuber trans girl as she challenges her catholic school's conservative ways 

[smoothshine]

Finally! Publishing these shots I started a while ago and just couldn't decide which versions I like better, but here they are!

(The last shot is based on a scene from a "Lethal weapon" series, definitely more bloody than the original source material though, hehe)

[area51-escapee]

I really, really hate the fact that people are using minorities within the U.S. to try and guilt people into voting for Biden. I hate that when you criticize him or just state you won’t vote for him people always want to come back with “oh so you hate minorities? You hate transgender people? You think kids belong in cages?????”. Don’t you fucking dare use the suffering of actual people to try and garner support for that man, you don’t get to just ignore that immigrants are still being detained at the border, that he decided to continue with the fucking wall, that immigrants, even U.S. born Latinos are still being treated as fucking criminals. You don’t get to ignore that he’s done nothing to protect the transgender community from absolutely vile transphobic laws, you don’t get to ignore the suffering of these communities until it’s suddenly convenient for you. Police brutality has only gotten worse, nobody can afford to fucking live, Covid is still killing and disabling people every fucking day, you can’t just ignore these things because Biden is president. Nobody thinks Trump is going to be “better”, but we recognize that Biden is fucking wretched both domestically and internationally, we recognize that things are already so fucking bad it’s going to be real hard to make anything worse, sometimes it feels like the only thing that’ll end up changing if Trump wins the election is that you fuckers will suddenly speak up about all these issues again just because you can blame it solely on Trump now.