#shes very romance-negative so i appreciated that

[libraryleopard]

Young adult coming-of-age novel

Loosely inspired by Jane Austen's Emma

Follows a college freshman during the ups and downs of her first year away from home

Bi main character with ADHD

[iwritesinsnottragedieshoney]

litty swimsuit (spencer reid)

paring: spencer reid x reader

summary: the team vacations at rossi's summer residence while spencer reid deals with insecurities, emotions beyond his control, and a y/n litty swimsuit.

genre: i guess fluff, but towards the end it changes into the beginning of smut, but nothing serious, actually.

warnings: spencer being a little insecure; one or two curses; some sexually tinged comments; maybe some spicy scenes at the end, but, like i said before, nothing hard; a lot of use of the phrase "frown".

word count: 11, 631

notes: this is the first time i post anything here and the first time i write something about spencer so i hope i didn't screw things up. english is also not my first language, some words may be used incorrectly just because the translator thinks it's a synonym and i believe him, so… have fun :) (every pic is from pinterest, i don't own them).

spencer walked out through rossi's glass door, his nostrils filled with the unmistakable smell of chlorine, mixed with a hint of summer afternoon and sunscreen.

the sun was in its full stage and he frowned slightly at the thought of the impact of sunlight on the human body and the consequences of the time spent outside then — he focused mainly on the negative ones, because they came to his mind the fastest. but he immediately pushed them away, frowning even harder. aside from forgetting his sunglasses from his room, he remembered what morgan had told him when they arrived at rossi's summer house: you need to chill out a bit, man. look, a whole week off work and a whole week with y/n in a swimsuit! she told emily it's litty.

spencer didn't understand a few things at the time, and unfortunately for him, they were all centered around y/n.

first of all, he had no desire to chill out a bit and didn't look like he was going to be able to do that anytime soon. two weeks ago there was a chance for a vacation for the whole team. someone (emily) discreetly remarked (gathered everyone in the check-in room thanks to garcia who sent everyone a flashing, unlockable message to the work computers) that it would be nice to spend time at rossi's summer residence at that time, which he readily agreed to (not really, but everyone had time to nod their heads appreciatively over garcia's presentation, where she presented the arguments for and rossi was bribed with the idea of themed Italian evenings).

spencer obviously didn't mind spending time with the team. apart from them, he didn't really have any other friends, and his mother was going to be involved in activities that would conflict with his possible visit, so he had no plans. he even lifted the corners of his mouth for a brief moment. that subsided, however, when the travel talks began a few days later, and y/n elbowed him lightly in the ribs and said she had a bunch of light and silly romances ready so she could read one a day, which is pretty much like as if they were reading at the same pace. then he realized that if he spent a whole week with the team, he'd spend it with y/n as well, and his stress-adrenaline spiked so high he nearly spilled the coffee he was carrying to his desk at the time.

it's not like he didn't like y/n. because he liked. actually, very much so. derek said he's totally head over heels.

and guess that was the problem.

when y/n joined the team, which happened exactly six months, eight days, twenty-one hours and thirty-two minutes ago, she totally turned his head, as penelope said. she was the most beautiful girl he had ever met, and her smiles were either very wide or delightfully stretchy (these were spencer's favourites, because then there were tiny wrinkles around her eyes and her cheeks were slightly pink), and when she greeted meeting him for the first time, she raised her hand in an awkward greeting at the same time he did, then laughed out loud before finally saying her name with the smile still on her face.

he wasn't sure if he was just imagining it, and he didn't even want to check if it was, but he felt that y/n had become a very good friend to him. someone who listened to what he had read last time in a new science article that appeared in a kiosk outside his block and didn't roll his eyes; someone who showed up with coffee and a donut when he was having a bad day; someone who used to come to his hotel room when things were done with chinese takeout to watch documentaries on TV; someone who played cards with him (even if y/n made up her own rules that were often meant to win only her); someone who eventually became more than just a good friend to him.

he couldn't even tell when he wished they were more. all he knew was that there was no chance of any change in that direction between them. girls like y/n weren't interested in guys like spencer, he knew it. he didn't want his stupid feelings to end. he liked the fact that y/n was somehow close, and if only she knew how he felt about her, he wouldn't have survived the humiliation of rejection.

anyway, when spencer realized that y/n would also be joining them on the trip, he panicked slightly. since she'd joined the team, they'd only spent time together at work and on field case, and that made their relationship somewhat limited (reason infinite why spencer thought maybe even their friendship was a bit forced). spencer would never have dared to offer her anything else because she might think he was asking her out (he hadn't asked derek yet, but he was pretty sure going to a museum to see the remains of a newly found tomb didn't count as a date, but he preferred not risk), and then she would surely refuse, which is why they did not meet outside of work. unless it was about going out to bars with the team.

y/n never proposed anything either (derek said it was because spencer wasn't giving her enough indication of his interest in such a proposal, but spencer thought being neutral about everything about y/n was safe and a chance to be too pushy), so spencer only confirmed his conviction. he was destined to be friend.

however, he began to have merciless thoughts about the possible end of their relationship, precisely because of the vacation trip to rossi's summer estate. eventually y/n will have to realize that spencer is actually incredibly boring, and his habits, behaviors, and interests are not at all caused by the situations that another case puts in their way. he will understand that spencer watches TV documentaries not because there is nothing more interesting on the hotel TV, but because he likes to do it. after all, no one willingly watches television documentaries! everyone knows it!

and on the one hand he knew that these thoughts were irrational rather than worth considering, but on the other hand he watched his surroundings for any signs that might prepare him for an imminent farewell to the warm feeling he felt inside when y/n appeared on the horizon.

spencer was sure that there were plenty of other things that y/n could find out about him during the trip and lose interest in him even at the level of work colleagues, so from the beginning of the trip he tried not to drive the stress reel and didn't think about it anymore, and it was either better or worse.

the other thing he didn't understand about derek was the y/n litty swimsuit. to be honest, spencer wasn't very interested in the y/n swimsuit until derek mentioned it. he didn't even combine the trip with swimsuits. but now he was definitely interested in it, and he was horrified that he was beginning to think of his co-worker and best friend in that context. he tried not to imagine it too often, but his thoughts involuntarily wandered in that direction when they were filling out reports at the office a day or two before, when he was in the shower, when he was going to bed, and when they were on the plane here. so, well, he wasn't doing very well.

but back to when he left rossi's house for his backyard swimming pool — derek was right, he needed to chill out a bit.

the swimming pool was rectangular in shape and was crossed by a volleyball net; on one side were hotch and morgan, and on the other side, emily and jj, who were clearly already engaged in the game for good, as the cheers directed at the men indicated victory and their considerable excitement. reid remembered derek's words again and refrained from telling them about the dangers of exerting himself in a place that was so exposed to the sun's rays. chill out a bit.

he descended the small steps to the stone path that flanked the pool, only guessing how hot the slabs of stone could get under his slipper-protected feet. he noticed that rossi, who was doing a crossword puzzle, was sitting at a table covered with a red umbrella, and probably wouldn't look up even if an african elephant ran in front of him. morgan's words rang again in spencer's ears, and he didn't stop to look over the man's shoulder and solve a few passwords. chill out a bit.

so reid walked on, toward white, comfortable-looking loungers. they were tucked away in the shade, far enough away that the noises coming from the pool wouldn't be annoying and that their distance wouldn't seem exaggerated. on one of them was penelope, holding a glass of iced coffee in one hand and a kindle in the other, which she was staring at intently.

spencer looked around discreetly, but saw no y/n anywhere. he knew she was the first to leave the house — at six o'clock in the morning he wasn't awake enough to get up, but he heard her soft footsteps down the hall and the slam of the front door. he didn't know where she was, but when he opened his eyes again, the whole team was downstairs, discussing something quite loudly. it was early afternoon now, and spencer was angry with himself for not being able to get up early enough. he felt as if he didn't know as much as the others. as if he missed something.

he sat down precariously on one of the deckchairs, the one closest to penelope's, and gripped the leather-bound book he'd brought with him a little tighter. he ordered it from his local bookstore a month ago, and the delivery difficulties only made him want to devour it whole, but now, when y/n wasn't around, he somehow didn't feel like opening it. he involuntarily looked towards the garden, remembering that when they arrived three days ago, y/n had disappeared there for a good hour. maybe she went to see that little pond she'd been telling him about...

"what are you looking for?" garcia's suspicious voice reached his ears, and he immediately felt a treacherous blush rise to his cheeks. "or rather, for whom."

she added the last one with a noticeable smirk in her voice, as if she knew the answer to her question all along, and spencer wouldn't be surprised if she really did.

he looked at her, still slightly surprised by her unexpected remark; the blonde lifted her sunglasses so that they rested on top of her head, her fingers gently, almost soundlessly, tapping the kindle's surface.

he noticed that her nails were painted a dark blood red. just like emily wore. and jj. probably similar to y/n. apparently it was the result of their ladies' night last night, which had dragged on until one in the morning, which spencer knew because there was a wall between his and emily's room that was thin enough for him to hear music and laughter coming from the room. that was the main reason why he got up later than the others today.

"i don't..." he began, but before he could somehow prevent a minor annoyance that would surely have lasted into the evening, the patio doors slid open and shut just as forcefully.

spencer looked over at them, frowning at the glare of the sun.

y/n trotted hurriedly towards them, her thick-soled flip-flops making a distinctive sound with each step she took. she was wearing a slightly tight, ankle-length skirt of mesh material with a lining and a light green tank top with thin straps. in her hand was a shopping bag, which she placed between spencer's and garcia's sun loungers. her chest was rising and falling at a rhythmic but not too fast pace, which indicated she was in a hurry.

“i will never go back there again,” she declared, plopping down on the lounger where spencer was sitting. she was clearly addressing penelope, but a second later she was elbowing him in the shoulder. "where have you been all morning? the vacation book club meeting must have started without you, though i swear i fought like a lioness."

even if she wasn't quite close, he could smell her cherry mist, and when he looked a little closer, he noticed that thin strings of a bikini trailed up from underneath the tank top and tied in a bow shape at the nape of the neck. chill out a bit.

"i overslept," he stammered, wishing he was someone with a better explanation.

"oh no, is it us?" y/n looked genuinely worried. „jj and i tried to turn the music down but emily was adamant. and then we went a bit too far with the alcohol and music was the last thing on our minds."

"no, i... forgot to set my alarm clock." thought up on the spur of the moment, but y/n tilted her head slightly doubtfully.

she didn't comment on it, though, because her attention was drawn to penelope, who until then had been interested mainly in the lines of text on her kindle, now clutched it tightly to her chest and, her lips parted in excitement, leaned towards y/n.

"did it work? does the red nail theory work? answer, woman!" her eyelids were wide open and her pale cheeks flushed a little pink.

"what is the red nail theory?" spencer asked, frowning again, this time in confusion.

he was used to the fact that he didn't know much about currently pop culture and usually had to get information from team members or search the internet himself. he did it a bit more often lately, because y/n would run into the office from time to time and tell him in an emotional voice about the latest happenings in the world of celebrities that he had no idea about. but if y/n was interested, he wanted to, if only so he wouldn't stand there stock-still and nod his head in an attempt to understand.

"oh, it's such a stupid notion that if you paint your nails red, guys will stick to you like flies," she replied, as always without impatience, waving her hand dismissively, which only underlined her attitude towards the matter. spencer, however, saw the red on her fingernails.

“it's widely believed that the color red symbolizes passion, desire and, of course, love. a survey was conducted which revealed that…” spencer began, unable to resist sharing this information with her; he stopped, however, when penelope waved a kindle in front of his nose, as if to chase away a persistent insect.

"y/n! did mark make a move?!”

"who is mark?"

in his defense, it had slipped out faster than he had time to think. the tone in which garcia's question was uttered indicated that mark had already been the subject of conversations and was obviously known to someone other than y/n. that in turn meant (spencer unintentionally connected the assumption with his own suspicions) that y/n was romantically interested in someone, and probably someone — how could not — reciprocated. especially since the woman's cheeks had turned slightly pink.

spencer felt his stomach turn inside out; never thought he had any chance with y/n, but sometimes it was nice to daydream a bit. but now those dreams had become almost utopian, though earlier, he liked to tell himself, they had been possible if he hadn't been such a coward and had perhaps agreed to go to the gym with morgan.

“he's a clerk in that little shop we passed on our way here. remember, the one with the white wooden sign and the blue lettering. anyway, penelope thinks he's a muffin ready to munch, which i guess means he's relatively attractive," y/n replied again, in the same tone as before; this time, however, she didn't wave her hand, but ostentatiously rolled her eyes.

"hello? when will it be time to answer my questions?” the blonde got impatient and slid her legs off the lounger and seemed ready to pin y/n to the ground and force all the answers out of her.

y/n smiled softly (apparently the danger in garcia's eyes was no problem for her) and bent down to reach for the shopping bag at her feet. she was clearly looking for something and was knocking over the rest of her purchases as she did so, but she took her time to answer penelope.

"i'm not sure about that theory, pen. i bought you a couple of canned sodas and some magazines from the display at the back of the store, and mark was mostly looking at my boobs, not my nails. this confirmed what i had always thought of him — that he is quite a jerk. i don't know, girls, maybe you should be interested in someone valuable."

spencer lifted the corner of his mouth, the one that the others couldn't see; he didn't know the whole mark, but enjoyed the way y/n thought of him. he just didn't know who he was. he liked to think he wasn't a jerk, but he wasn't sure he was valuable either. he was curious if there was anything in between.

“this is not some husband contest, y/n. it's our carefully crafted hot girls summer," penelope reminded her, and this time she rolled her eyes in exasperation.

reid refrained from asking another question.

“then i'm afraid our hot girls summers are quite different,” y/n replied, finally pulling a few magazines out of the plastic bag and stacking them neatly on her lap, frowning in concentration. “i bought rossi another crossword puzzle because i saw him finishing the one in the morning paper. jj and emily said they didn't need anything but i bought them a gossip magazine anyway. the only thing i didn't know was what to get hotch... anyway, penelope, i didn't spend a dime on you. it's for those stupid messages you've been sending me all morning! and for your information, my inner tigress didn't pounce on a couple of ribs."

penelope moaned martyrdom, throwing her head back and returning to her previous position, turning on her kindle again. y/n didn't seem too concerned about it, in fact, not at all, and turned around a bit to face spencer. her mouth stretched into that familiar excited smile, and her cheeks seemed to still be tinted with a soft pink as the woman proudly held out to him a sealed magazine with a dvd inside.

"dr. reid, here's the second part of the documentary we started watching during this case in baltimore." her tone was high, but spencer still sensed a hint of laughter in it. “on the way back i also saw a nice restaurant that delivers orders. it's not chinese, but i don't mind indian food. you like indian food, right? i can look for something else, i think i saw something at the end of the pier...

“indian food sounds nice, y/n,” spencer said reassuringly, giving her a small smile.

it all sounded nice. it was nice to think that y/n looked at the popular science section and thought of him; about wanting to watch a nature documentary with him and eat takeout. spencer didn't want to think otherwise, and even thought that maybe all his fears about leaving weren't very rational.

"oh god, i hope you guys gonna fuck while doing this or i'll drown you in the pool..." penelope's totally serious voice broke the smiling silence between them like a knife blade.

spencer made an indistinct noise, blushing to the tips of his ears while y/n seemed extremely angry.

“you know what, pen, i'd rather fuck spencer with a documentary on africa insects running in the background than go out with all that mark. i bet he's an indebted loser who doesn't even own a boat, which would be quite derogatory given the name his shop bears." hissed y/n.

spencer felt like he was shrinking with each passing second; y/n's hand and the magazine it held were digging into his chest, and penelope's eyes shone again with a dangerous glow, which together with the accusing finger was quite a disturbing sight.

"i see! so he invited you after all!” she exclaimed, and y/n dropped the magazine from her hand, which with a rustling sound fell to his lap and arranged her hands in such a way as if she wanted to strangle the blonde.

"yes, penelope!" y/n raised her voice. “he said something like maybe we can go out together or something and i said yeah, rather not, or something and immediately left the place. are you satisfied yet?”

penelope frowned a bit and sank back into the chair with a clearly disconsolate expression. she felt a little silly, just like y/n, who tried to straighten up a bit to give herself some dignity and brushed her skirt off her knee as if there were a few crumbs there, but they weren't.

"are you sure he was looking at your boobs and not your nails?" asked penelope after a moment.

"yes."

“well, then he is indeed a loser without a boat. pity. i liked his chin."

"oh, penelope," sighed y/n and smiled slightly as the blonde did the same.

y/n bent down again to put the magazines back in the plastic bag, and spencer moved his leg slightly, hoping the tense atmosphere had just ended. he didn't quite know what he could do if things got worse. he was also pleased to hear about the reunion of mark and y/n. he hoped he'd gotten away with it and wouldn't try to be interested in her again, but at the same time he wondered what he'd do if he heard the y/n words himself. yeah, rather not, or something. it sounded like his personal hell.

"pretty girl is back!"

they looked towards the pool. morgan was walking toward them in red swimming trunks that went past his knees, arms wide open, the corner of his mouth raised dangerously. apparently the little volleyball match had just ended; hotch was disappearing inside rossi's house as jj and emily were slowly approaching them.

"so what? we are going to play the game?" morgan asked, aiming the words at the y/n.

for a brief moment, the woman's face showed surprise, but then her mouth curved into a mocking grimace.

"if i didn't know you, morgan, i'd think you liked being humiliated. sure we're playing, i just need to get changed." y/n got up from the lounger and, grabbing the shopping bag, headed for the patio doors. as she passed the morgan, she looked over her shoulder at him, whispering, "i'll destroy you."

"you wish, honey." derek snorted, but it was hard to tell if y/n had heard his words because she didn't react to them in any way.

you wish, honey. he wondered what reaction y/n would get if he called her that nickname. he wasn't very good with words and it would probably end up painfully awkward. spencer would like to be like morgan — smooth in conversation, which he was able to combine with his appearance. would like to talk to y/n per honey. or whatever y/n finds attractive.

spencer saw the woman stop by rossi and hand him a crossword puzzle book, and the man patted her hand, giving her a smile. he didn't even notice how it appeared on his face as well. y/n was good, generous and open-minded, and spencer knew he could count on her, and that other people important to him could count on her, too.

"come on reid, get ready." threw derek in his direction, waking him from his lethargy.

spencer looked at him with surprise and maybe a little fear in his eyes. after years of being near derek's desk, he was used to the little teases derek gave him — he understood that they were never intended to hurt him, and he usually brushed them off or tried to respond to them in a similar way. but he also knew that sometimes morgan couldn't keep his mouth shut, and he feared that derek's swashbuckling smirk had something to do with y/n. he didn't know what it was yet, but he sure had it.

at the same time, emily and jj also appeared, sitting together on the deckchair on the other side of penelope and smiling at them, clearly tired.

"morgan, haven't you had enough? i wouldn't mess with y/n, she's pretty good at this stuf," emily muttered, scratching her ankle. "if i were you, i wouldn't pick myself up after a second failure."

"oh yeah, she took extra classes when she was in high school." jj supported her, nodding her head.

"oh please. i gave you a head start. like the gentleman i am." derek leaned forward with his hand on his chest, and they shook their heads in amusement.

spencer was about to ask what exactly it was about when the patio doors slid open again. automatically he looked towards the terrace and involuntarily parted his lips.

for a brief moment he thought he couldn't make any sound, let alone understandable and logical words. he didn't know what made him more emotional — how pretty y/n's face looked in the two braids that were now bouncing gently with her steps, or maybe the fact that her swimsuit was really litty and even spencer's mind wasn't in the mood could prepare him for how amazing she could look in it.

it was a two-piece, bottle green. spencer could see the bindings that held the top of the suit together — the ones at the nape of his neck (which he had seen before) and moments ago when she had her back to him for two seconds, closing the door behind her, also the one on her back. in addition, on both sides of her hips there were similar, but indetachable, decorative strings.

despite his sincere wish not to think too much of her in that particular sinful way, he had to refrain from imagining a moment when he would be allowed to pull either of them.

“i was just telling a pretty boy to get ready to kick his ass,” morgan said as y/n stopped in front of them.

"you didn't mention any kicking my ass and i still don't know what you mean," spencer replied, then frowned as penelope put in something from her kindle about how she liked it when he said ass.

"oh yes." y/n grabbed the end of one of the braids and gave him an apologetic look. “so a month ago morgan saw my volleyball medals while he was helping me redecorate my bedroom and said we absolutely had to go against him because he thinks he’s totally rocking.”

"because i rock."

"anyway, this morning while you were still sleeping, i got a little competitive and got you involved too." she sounded like she was genuinely sorry, but when her gaze met derek, her tone changed completely. "so you better stretch yourself morgan or we're going to crush you completely!"

y/n shot both of her index fingers at derek, and he laughed out loud and walked off towards the pool, where the woman's narrowed eyes led him.

spencer swallowed hard and clenched his hands again on the cover of his book. it was a real disaster unfolding to the cheers of the girls as y/n started her warm-up with feigned zeal.

subconsciously, he knew that he wasn't some important part of this two-man team — y/n clearly had no plans to involve him in the game beforehand, and it probably came about as a result of everyone's familiar scuffles between her and derek. yet he felt his stomach turn inside out again as he thought about the fact that he would have to take part in a game in which he was hopeless in front of everyone else.

"y/n." the woman looked at him, with a determined expression on her face, although a moment ago she had just been training her menacing gaze under the supervision of emily, whose role of focused trainer was not going very well. "can we talk somewhere else?"

"sorry girls, we have to talk about our super tactics"

they walked to the opposite end of the pool, hearing the excited voices of the girls behind them, who were just in the process of coming up with cheering slogans. spencer felt even worse when he thought that apparently most of the team knew about the planned showdown between y/n and derek and were looking forward to it.

"the thing is, i hit in your direction and you take straight to his half and so twenty-five times..."

"y/n, i'm not good at volleyball. actually, i'm not good at any sport that requires physical exertion." he confessed, reluctantly interrupting her.

for a nanosecond, y/n's enthusiasm waned a bit, but then she frowned, confused.

"what are you talking about? i'm sure you're great. besides, you're tall!" she remarked, sending him a smile and shrugging.

"and what about it?"

"all volleyball players are tall." she shrugged again, and spencer sighed softly.

then y/n turned serious and placed her hands on his thin shoulders. even though her hands were only touching him through the gray cotton t-shirt he was wearing, spencer felt the tips of his ears turn red gradually.

the team knew about his reluctance to have close physical contact, and spencer made sure that all new people he met were also informed. he knew penelope had told y/n about it before the woman noticed him sitting at his desk, and he was grateful to her that he had missed this awkward conversation. however, spencer quickly realized that he actually doesn't mind physical contact as long as the person he's having it with is y/n.

her acts of kindness and friendship drew him into his terrible crush with each working day, and made him more and more aware of the need for her touch. he had even unconsciously searched for it, provoking occasions for his fingertips to touch hers, to pass documents, for her arm to brush against his as they walked down the not-too-wide corridor to the briefing room, and for his hand to be within reach, when one day the plugs in the office went out and it became completely dark.

he naively thought he was being discreet about it — but the team quickly noticed his lack of aversion to her touch and made jokes about it. spencer hoped that their remarks didn't reach y/n and that she didn't notice it herself — he was able to make do with whatever physical intimacy she unwittingly gave him.

however, he realized that y/n arranged the touch herself, almost on the same level as she maintained with the rest of the team.

now she was staring deep into his eyes, and reid hoped the red didn't spread to his cheeks as well.

"listen to me, spencer. i won't say it's just for fun because i'm fucking desperate to win and i'm not going to give morgan the satisfaction, but i will say that i believe your volleyball player is deep inside of you and just needs a gentle push to bring him to the surface," she whispered, which made spencer look pained.

"i'm afraid he's already there. he's floating, more precisely. because he's dead."

"you see? it's not so bad if you still have your sense of humor," she laughed, patting his shoulder, but her laughter died away as she crossed arms over her chests, leaning towards him with a worried expression. he tried not to show the disappointment of losing her hand on his body. "spencer, i can tell derek you don't want to play. i know i should have asked you first."

"what's going on there?! y/n, you can give up now!" derek leaned against the wall of his half of the field with a grin and waited for them to arrive.

they looked in his direction, but y/n quickly returned her gaze to spencer's face.

he knew that volleyball was not his strong suit. just as he knew the last thing he wanted was to humiliate himself in front of the team and, of course, in front of y/n because of it. but he noticed how excited she was. and he didn't want her to lose the sparkle in her eyes he saw when she explained their rather unreal tactics to him.

"i'll do it," he decided at last, nodding his head a few times, just in case, to confirm himself in this decision.

y/n opened her mouth in surprise and grabbed his wrist as he started towards the pool, forcing him to meet her eyes again.

"spencer, if you really don't want to, you don't have to."

"yeah, but suddenly i felt like kicking morgan's ass," he replied, though he didn't really know if he wanted to. he wanted to give her what she wanted, of that he was sure.

y/n stared at him intently, probably searching for something to contradict his words, but reid made sure his expression was convincing enough. in the end, the girl lost the fight with a huge smile, and from her chest came an excited sound like a combination of a squeak and a giggle.

"i like it when you say ass too!" she said and stole a kiss on his cheek, immediately turning on her heel and stepping into the pool.

spencer turned crimson and involuntarily raised his hand to touch his fingertips to the place where the muted pink y/n lips touched his skin. chill out a bit.

as he had predicted, he was not doing very well. emily, jj and penelope moved the sunbeds a little closer to the pool for a better view and started cheering for their team right from the start, which only distracted spencer and put even more pressure on him.

in addition, although he had suspected it for a long time, but now he was convinced of it, y/n, despite the whole package of good qualities, also had some worse ones, such as an unhealthy desire to compete and a need to be the best.

things seemed pretty stable at first — y/n let morgan go surfing first, definitely determined to win. she hit the first few throws and then ended them with a strong knockout of the ball that sprayed the water, announcing their first point. actually because of her, but y/n held up her hands for a high five as if it was a joint effort.

then there was a slight complication as derek hit the ball towards him, which spencer didn't expect at all and his bounce was too light for the ball to go over the net. y/n reassured him that everything was fine and kept playing, but spencer felt like the worst person in the world, especially since emily moaned in agony, even though that was only the first point lost (she had already taken another sip of something lemon yellow, but it wasn't lemonade and she was getting a little cranky).

y/n quickly rebounded and gained the upper hand, and spencer even managed to hit the ball a few times without sending it to the net or out of the water court. but eventually the losing streak came back and they lost points again, and a crease appeared between y/n's eyebrows that made spencer nervous.

it was twenty-two to nineteen for morgan, and the man had already indulged in a few snide comments. y/n with obvious impatience somehow made the ball finally hit the water on morgan's side and passed the ball to spencer with a serious expression.

reid liked it a lot better when he wasn't closer to the pool walls, and didn't get a few stressful stares on his shoulders while he was surfing, especially since he'd hit the ball out of court way too often. in addition, now he was sure that if he repeated it, he would hear a martyrdom moan not from emily's lips, but from y/n. then he would allow himself a small humiliating drowning.

he sighed softly, rolling the ball over in his hand. the kids at his school bounced it hard on the floor to give it a better bounce. spencer couldn't do that now, and he wasn't really sure if the tactic worked. every time he was in this place, he thought about how what he was best at would help him. however, there was not enough time to mess with physics.

he hit the ball down, grimacing, just in case.

however, contrary to his expectations, the ball went over the net and began to fall within the pool area, not on the stone path outside it.

out of the corner of his eye, he saw the corner of y/n's mouth twitch slightly upwards. the ends of her braids were wet with chlorinated water and dripping drops; spencer, wanting to preserve what little dignity he had, held back with all his might lest his gaze fall a little lower, where the drops ran down her skin and into the hollow between her breasts. he also judiciously ignored the fact that the soaked fabric of her bikini clung to her body, which seemed to reflect the sun's rays and seemed to glisten slightly. plus, her…

he couldn't say exactly what had happened, but he knew that one moment he was watching the y/n body moving in slow motion, and the next he was bended in half, feeling a dizzying, sharp pain shoot through his head. he remembered holding his hands to his face, feeling his nose twitch as still as a cartoon character who had just rung a big bell, and there was sudden chaos around him; several voices rose in surprise, someone close to him shouted his name, and the water around him surged, pushing him against the pool wall. he also felt something drip onto his fingers.

"god, spencer!" delicate, wet yet warm hands brushed uncertainly over his still veiled face, and spencer recognized the terrified y/n in that voice.

"dude, now you've got nothing left!"

"seriously, derek?!" y/n was furious, but when she turned to him again, her voice was soft but still nervous. "spencer, look at me. everything's all right?! pass the towel! rossi, go get the keys, we're going to the hospital! may be broken!"

the nose wasn't broken. which spencer knew as soon as he managed to get his questions answered from the panic-stricken team. no one noticed the swelling, and no hematomas appeared under his eyes; the profuse bleeding that y/n was trying to stop with more and more tissues, and the pain he felt didn't have to be signs of a fracture, though they could. the team wasn't going to take his word for it anyway, and hotch, though the most composed of the group, was firmly pressing on the accelerator.

spencer, apart from feeling like everything was spinning around him from time to time, he felt a bit overwhelmed; there was too much noise around him — his friends were arguing about who was to blame for his accident, y/n had her hand over his face (although he assured her he could still hold a few tissues) and was squeezing his hand tight, increasing the pressure when she was responding to morgan.

when they got to the hospital, and the doctor finally treated their panicked group, he only confirmed what spencer had suspected all along. he didn't even have a concussion, and this disturbingly profuse hemorrhage was caused by the rupture of a larger vessel. recommended ice packs and rest. something spencer could prescribe for himself.

they back to rossi's house in a slightly less nervous mood, though y/n didn't speak to derek, who had repeatedly apologized not only to spencer but also to her. y/n, however, seemed adamant and still preoccupied with the situation. spencer suspected she felt guilty because she had talked him into it, after all, though he had mentioned to her once or twice that it was nothing and that all symptoms would be gone by tonight.

as they crossed the threshold of the house, three waiting heads appeared from behind the living room wall, and again there was a din of explaining everything to the rest of the team, who had to stay because of emily's tip. spencer finally managed to get out of their company and quickly disappeared into his room before anyone noticed him.

from that moment on, two hours passed, which spencer spent lying motionless with an ice pack against his face. he stared at the ceiling and multiplied every now and then the number of panels on the floor. there was an eerie silence downstairs, and spencer wondered if everything was all right down there.

he was about to decide to get out of bed and go downstairs when there were two single knocks against his door. he called the person inside, and after a while a y/n head appeared.

"i have a bowl for your used ice pack and your book you left on the sun lounger," she said softly, smiling, seemingly slightly confused.

"come in," he replied, just as quietly, though there was no reason for them to communicate that way.

the previously awkward y/n grimace turned into her beautiful smile as she slipped inside, closing the door behind her. she was clutching his book to her chest and in the other hand she was holding the purple plastic bowl spencer had seen in the kitchen cupboard this morning.

he involuntarily smiled as he thought of how y/n reminded him of a small child who had just managed to sneak into a friend's room despite the watchful eyes of his parents — she jumped on his bed, then sat cross-legged and sighed heavily as spencer pulled the compress away from his face, to put it in the bowl.

"is it that bad?" he joked, raising his eyebrows to which y/n snorted mockingly.

"you don't even know how much. you look exactly the same!” she laughed as she placed the bowl with compress on the bedside table by spencer's bed. to do so, she had to lean over him, and this time the scent of her floral shampoo and mango lotion filled his nostrils; she must have taken a shower afterwards because he couldn't smell the chlorine on her. however, when y/n returned to her seat, her expression became a little more serious. "how do you feel? i know everyone asked you this way too many times already, but i'm really worried."

"much better. i think i've stopped feeling that throbbing pain, although that may just be because of the ice," he replied, smiling slightly. "and hey, you don't have to worry so much about it. i already told you it's okay and it's not your fault."

"yeah, but still. i don't know what we'd do if you slashed that pretty face."

spencer frowned as if he disliked her words, but y/n just laughed again. in fact, he had already wondered a few times if the fact that y/n called him pretty boy, like morgan, meant anything at all. a large number of voices in his head said that this was just another habit that the girl had picked up from derek, as she had done in the case of throwing balls of paper into the garbage cans. however, there was a part that made spencer's cheeks a little pink when he heard those words come out of her mouth. sometimes hearing it from her was completely different than hearing it from anyone else.

"yeah, morgan has already pointed that out," he said finally, feeling it had to be done.

it seems like y/n was just waiting for spencer to mention morgan because she suddenly gasped and jumped up on the mattress, frowning.

“you know, i was joking now, but it really pissed me off at the time! i was terrified because i had never seen so much blood while doing anything other than catching serial killers, and i thought it could end up much worse than a broken nose. and derek didn't care at all!" y/n's hands engaged the aggressive gesticulation mode that appeared on the horizon when she was really high. "i was so furious with him! and his irritating taunts on the way to the hospital!”

"what taunts?" he asked, confused.

of course he was aware that y/n and morgan had spent the entire drive to the hospital arguing, with garcia joining in from time to time, now trying to get them to agree, now putting in her two cents as if she couldn't hold back any longer. at the time, however, he was too preoccupied with his bleeding nose and maybe a little y/n touch as well to notice what exactly their heated discussion was about.

"never mind, suitably stupid for his level," y/n grunted, blushing unexpectedly and tucking her hair behind her ear, though not a strand fell to her cheek. “anyway, i had a bit of an argument with him, and now i feel a little guilty about him because, i have to admit, i went a bit too far. but i won't apologize to him so he doesn't think about it too much."

"but you'll reconcile, won't you? it would be a bit awkward if you won't," he murmured, partly to her, partly to himself.

before y/n could answer, however, the door swung open timidly after three hasty knocks. derek morgan's head looked inside, as if the man was well aware that they were talking about him and decided to intervene. however, there was a swashbuckling smile on his lips, the kind you couldn't be angry at.

"hey hey..." he crooned, smiling even wider. "how it's going?"

"how it should?" y/n answered the question with a question, annoyance evident in her voice. "he almost got a concussion."

"not at all," spencer interjected, but he was ignored by each of them.

"i'm sorry mom, it won't happened again," derek replied, making y/n utter an exasperated sigh. morgan walked in even though no one had actually invited him and approached them with a mysterious plastic bag in his hand. “penelope gave me a hint so i could think of a way to finally settle the conflict, and here it is: the chinese you obviously love. appreciate my efforts, pretty girl, they had to bring her from another town.”

"then i guess the thanks go to the supplier, mr. morgan," y/n noticed, and spencer saw that there was an amused sparkle behind the sternness of her gaze. the girl accepted the takeaway, much to morgan's satisfaction, and arranged it beside her. "nice of you. i stopped being mad at you about an hour and a half ago, but it's still cool."

morgan reached out to flick her nose and y/n slapped it, laughing loudly.

spencer, sitting with his legs stretched forward, leaned against the back of his wooden bed, watching their interaction. with displeasure he felt a nasty jealousy sprouting in his stomach; something about the sight of their casual touch, each of them knowing that this quarrel and the words that accompanied it had no meaning, made him almost see the green covering his fingers. and they had done it all right in front of him.

spencer laughed mentally. he was really pathetic — morgan and y/n were friends. and y/n still wasn't going to consider him, even if he got punched in the nose.

"oh, dude. i'd like to get punched in the nose too if it meant y/n would look after me," morgan sighed dreamily, turning to spencer, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"i'll take care of you too, morgan, if that's what you want. but before that, i'll give you a nose so we'll have one reason," y/n replied, causing the man to chuckle in an amused tone as he backed away towards the door.

"okay, i understand, i'm leaving now. have fun, kids," he said, then disappeared through the heavy door.

y/n shook her head, turning her body towards spencer. her silken hair, which had been braided since spencer had first laid eyes on her that afternoon, now fell over her shoulders, which were no longer covered by the t-shirt she had thrown on in a hurry as everyone ran around rossi's living room, occasionally catching spencer's shoulder, as if to reassure themselves that he was still standing there. she was wearing something a lot more elegant now, which belied spencer's idea that she had already showered. in that case, she'd already be wearing her yellow turtleneck pajamas, which spencer raised his eyebrows at the first time they had to share a room during the case.

instead of yellow turtles, reid saw a plain, rather thin, black shirt tucked into denim shorts. and it didn't look like a sleep suit. but actually spencer shouldn't be interested in that.

pushing those tactless thoughts away, he reached out for the plastic bag morgan had brought them.

it was filled with distinctive boxes, the sharp edges of which pushed the plastic bag apart, and the smell that wafted from them despite the paper reminded spencer of all those late nights spent with y/n in hotel rooms, during which the television was told by a weary voice about the life of individual species, and the woman was in the so close to him that her shoulder touched his. he only liked the smell for those memories.

y/n leaned over with interest to look at the bag as well. spencer realized after a short while that the girl's forehead was not far from his, and a little surprised by the sudden closeness, he lifted his head to look at her. y/n did the same, feeling his burning gaze on her and smiled softly without breaking eye contact.

for a brief moment, he felt as if there was absolutely nothing else around them. there were only y/e/c y/n irises, her lightly freckled nose that was to blame for the sun, and her pink lips. lips he would love to kiss. or even brush his own lips.

but before he opened it to say anything that might lead to that, his bedroom door groaned heavily, as it did when it was opened very slowly. they pulled away from each other almost immediately, turning their heads in their direction. spencer, for an irrational moment, even thought that hotch might be behind them, about to lead him out of his own room by the ear like a rascal of the worst kind. jesus, spencer, he reminded himself, you're a grown man. if you want to kiss a woman, you will.

however, it wasn't hotch's head that emerged from behind the door, but emily, who didn't seem as frisky as she had been a few hours ago. she eyed each of them and walked inside to the accompaniment of expectant silence from them.

"are you guys kissing?" she asked after a moment, an excited smile on her face as she tilted her head slightly.

"what? no!" spencer thought y/n seemed pretty flustered considering the fact that their faces were inches apart just moment ago and she was clearly trying to pretend that none of this had happened. well, nothing that spencer wasn't prepared for.

"say what you want. reid looks like a ripe tomato."

spencer choked on his own saliva, drawing the women's attention, and his hand immediately reached for the glass on his nightstand, which was half full of water.

"i-it's a compress." he wanted to somehow explain what his face looked like, but no one, including himself, seemed convinced (and the water had been standing here since last night and tasted bad).

"of course…"

"i thought you were going to look for a club," y/n put in a quick, drawing emily's attention back to her.

"because we're going. i just came to drop it off." emily held out a sealed magazine to her friend, in which reid recognized a nature documentary. "what a shame you're not going. it's always more fun with you."

"you'll be fine without me," she replied y/n, getting out of bed and walking over to the small TV set in the corner of the room. she sat down in front of the cabinet he was standing on and began unpacking the magazine with a concentrated frown. "thanks, emily. just don't overdo it this time, okay? you've already had a drink today."

"boredom!" the dark-haired woman dragged out the first syllable, grabbing the doorknob. "you talking like jj! i'm leaving before you infect me with your innocence!"

emily had indeed disappeared through the bedroom door, and after a while the sound of her heels could be heard as they left the floor in a hurry.

there was a silence in the room, one that y/n would surely describe as safely comfortable; such silences sometimes happened between them when they were filling out paperwork at their desks, sharing dried fruit (y/n loved dried apples, a fact spencer consciously remembered) when they were sitting side by side on the jet, sharing headphones because y/n wanted to show him her current musical obsession, or when they sat on the benches outside the office building during their lunch break and ate their breakfasts. they were good silences. and maybe that silence would be good too if spencer's brain wasn't working at full capacity. all the information he had gathered in the last dozen or so minutes was quite plausible.

"a penny for your thoughts, doctor," hummed y/n as she focused on pressing buttons on the rossi player; it was one of the more expensive ones, because it not only read vhs tapes, but also dvds. "i can hear them even from this distance."

"it's nothing, it's just... i wonder why you don't go out with girls," he replied after a moment's hesitation.

from his seat on the bed, he could see y/n's eyebrows frown a bit, but he wasn't sure if it was because of her ignorance about using the player or because of his words.

"i was about to go, i even let penelope rummage through my suitcase," she confessed. the player finally listened to her and slid out the dvd drive, where a disc with a nature documentary soon landed. “but i thought about the first day of our trip that i spent watching some action movie with morgan, and yesterday i got drunk with the girls. we miss each other a bit, don't you think? and today, when we finally did something together, you ended up in the hospital. so we'll lighten our spirits with some fun-facts about the insects of africa. how about that, doctor?"

spencer smiled weakly as y/n looked over her shoulder at him. now he felt even worse than when morgan had hit him with the volleyball — it all sounded to him as if y/n had decided to sacrifice a girls' night out of guilt and resentment for spending time with him.

“y/n, you should go out with the girls. it will probably be much more interesting than here with me,” he said finally, but as the words hung between them, he didn't feel any easier than he'd expected, and even harder. especially since y/n looked over her shoulder at him again, her brows heavily furrowed.

"you're kidding? i'd much rather eat chinese and watch a nature documentary with you than walk emily home drunk." she shook her head as if he had said the stupidest thing she had heard in a long time; the TV brightened up and showed the output page of the document. "by the way... we haven't watched anything together lately... i missed it."

"you miss it?" he stammered, perhaps a little too surprised in a voice judging by the way y/n was clearly confused, blushing.

“well, yes… i have the impression that this is our little tradition. you know, something that's only ours. i can't imagine morgan watching nature documents with us, because who would you whisper additional information into the ear first?” she asked, involuntarily laughing softly.

she got up off the floor, holding the remote in her right hand as she turned off the light with her left. the room went dark, and spencer swallowed hard, seeing the figure of y/n slowly approaching him, crouching by the nightstand to flick the light switch.

the light, dimmed by the lampshade, was a soft red that spread over the walls of the room. spencer felt like y/n had never looked so beautiful, and at the same time he felt the tension in the air.

"it's cool, i like it," whispered y/n, sitting tentatively on the edge of the mattress, near his hips. "but you've been acting weird lately and we stopped doing that."

"weird?" he repeated, frowning. god, he wanted so badly to place his hands behind her ear at that moment and pull her to him; he wanted the moment before emily came back.

“you stopped talking to me, starting conversations on your own and all. i felt like i was the only one trying. every time i walked into the room you and the team stopped talking and all eyes were on me. i don't need to be a profiler to know you were talking about me. but everyone said it wasn't about me, so i guess i let it go a bit and tried not to think about it too much, but it still wasn't the same between us." as she spoke, y/n kept her head down and didn't seem to want to look up at him. "i thought you'd come to my room when we had a case in chester like always, but you didn't. and not later either. and later too. and you acted like nothing happened. plus, it really annoyed me that you stared at me without saying a word, and when i asked what was going on, you said it was nothing, but then you did it again."

y/n jumped out of bed, crossing her arms over her chest. she also began pacing in a characteristic way, as if in thought. her eyes roamed all the furniture she could find, but finally fixed her gaze on him.

"okay, am i exaggerating? i feel like i kind of did, and now i've said all those things and i feel really stupid…”

"no!" spencer raised his voice a little more than was necessary. he sprang up from the mattress, tired of the thought that the woman might think that the matter they were discussing was not important to him. "i…"

"stay still, the doctor said you might get dizzy," y/n interrupted him as she approached him.

"i'm not dizzy," he replied, but y/n had already reached out to him, as if to gently push him towards the bed.

"lie down," she insisted, but without much thought spencer grabbed her hands and lowered them to the level of their hips.

"no, listen to me. i'm sorry i've been acting this way lately," he said, and when he finally realized he was holding y/n's hands firmly, he let go a bit, but not too much; so that he can still touch her warm skin. “i… i was avoiding you a bit because the whole trip was so stressful and i started thinking too much and it influenced my behavior, but…

"stressful? why?"

"because... it's so stupid." he ran his hand through his hair, but his dark strands fell over his forehead anyway; it made him even angrier. “the thing is, i realized we'd start spending time together outside of work, and then you'd see i'm the same spencer from the office when i'm not at the office. and then you'll realize what a boring person i am and you won't want to hang out with me anymore. and i... i like you, y/n. i like you so much that i'm afraid of losing you because of me."

y/n frowned worriedly, tilting her head slightly. for a brief moment she stared at a point on his shoulder, as if searching for the right words. spencer, on the other hand, was feeling more and more nauseous as it dawned on him that perhaps the words he'd used shouldn't have been spoken to his friends, even though they sneakily sounded appropriate.

"well..." y/n sighed, leading him back to the mattress where they sat next to each other. spencer anticipated the worst and was slowly starting to feel like the biggest fool. he had a big mouth and always talked too much, everyone told him so. "i guess it's good that you're still spencer from the office when you're out of the office, right? because i wouldn't want you to be anyone else."

he looked at her and the woman smiled softly, still holding his hand.

"and you're not boring and i can't believe you think that of yourself! you're the most interesting person i know," she assured. “you are the only person in my circle of friends with whom i can watch all the movies in the world, because there is a 99% chance that you will be able to translate dialogues for me fluently! and the only one who can read and summarize the book i forgot to read for my book club, and i didn't have to be an ignorant who doesn't know anything about "pride and prejudice."

“you got all the threads with mr. darcy mixed up anyway,” he reminded her, smiling at the memory.

"i know and that's why i don't go there anymore!" y/n laughed as well, her shoulders trembling slightly.

even now he could picture in his mind the moment y/n walked into the office, heading without thinking to his desk with an expression of pure horror and embarrassment. half laughing, half almost crying, she related to him a meeting of her book club she had started attending. she told him how she got everything mixed up and made a fool of herself in front of the young women. she also didn't hesitate to mention how she drank wine in large gulps until the end of the meeting, and yet she was the first to run out of katy's apartment.

he felt y/n squeeze his hand a little tighter and looked at it again. the nausea he was feeling subsided a bit and he even started laughing at his panicked fantasies — it was y/n; the kind, always natural, and generous y/n who could never think of him that way.

“look, i know who you are may seem boring to you, but to me, you're the coolest person i've ever met in my life. and the nicest. i still remember how you remembered my birthday when others forgot. and when you brought me soup when i was sick. and i had two soups, because my mother had already brought one. you remember all the little things i tell you. that i prefer coffee with caramel syrup over maple syrup. that in 7th grade i fell out of a tree and have a scar on my knee which i'd rather you forget because derek still teases me." their soft laughs echoed through the room again. "you're the best spencer.

"thanks," he whispered.

so that's what it was supposed to be. misunderstandings and inaccuracies are resolved, y/n will finally choose one of the options that were displayed on the screen of a small TV and spend the next hour side by side eating chilled food from a chinese restaurant. it wasn't something spencer would have hoped for if his earlier speech had been worded better, but something he expected when he said what he had to say. but that was fine. he learned to enjoy the little things.

but suddenly he felt y/n fingers under his chin, directing his gaze back to her face. they were so close it hurt.

"and you'll never lose me, spencer. you can't get rid of me that easily," she said, also in a whisper. "i'm like a venereal disease."

spencer frowned.

"it was a disgusting comparison."

"i know, sorry."

"y/n," he whispered, never taking his eyes off the deep hue of her irises that scanned his face.

"yeah?"

he swallowed once more, hoping that the remnants of courage didn't run down his esophagus as well. he wasn't sure and couldn't be, but maybe this was the moment he should have heeded morgan and penelope and emily and jj and rossi and hotch...

"when i said i like you, i meant that..."

"i know, spencer." y/n smiled softly, and spencer had the impression that her face was a little closer than it had been two seconds before. "and guess what... i like you too."

spencer cursed mentally and, sliding his hand into y/n's hair, pulled her even closer to him.

the kiss was a bit tentative at first, and a terrifying thought crossed his mind that perhaps he had been in too much of a hurry and had misread some of the signals — he had done that all too often, after all, and the y/n words might have had nothing to do with what he was saying, with what spencer thought they had. y/n, however, returned the kiss, giving it a new pace for it, tangling her fingers in his hair. then reid realized he had stopped thinking about anything.

all that mattered at that moment was the taste of y/n cherry lip gloss, her hands on his neck, and soon his arms and chest as she climbed onto his lap. spencer thought it was too much — her scent filled his nostrils, completely befuddled him, her hands craving for closeness tracing every curve of his body, making him dizzy — and at the same time he felt that he needed more.

he lifted the hand he'd been resting on the mattress and ran it over y/n's bare thigh, not sure if he was allowed to do it. her skin was smooth, warm and cool at the same time, and spencer wanted to know how other parts of her body felt. y/n smiled through the kiss, reaching for his wandering hand, which she then placed on her hip.

spencer took it a step further and moved her down her back to pull her closer to him. he wanted to be as close to her as possible, possibly even absorb himself into her, if that meant he would always feel the way he did now.

y/n moved her kisses to his cheek, jaw, and behind his ear, where she sucked his skin. spencer moaned softly, surprised, and the girl with a smile headed towards his neck, biting it with kisses.

"thank god penelope left the house," y/n mumbled into his skin, saying the words in between caresses. “she probably would have said her i knew it! or didn't i tell you?!"

spencer pulled back slightly, mouth parting speechless. he remembered perfectly well what penelope had said when he heard that they were going to watch a nature documentary, and now his mind, despite being completely distracted by this unexpected situation, connected the dots — the movie was on but still not quite and the y/n slowly starting to rubbing his hips — coming to an unequivocal conclusion.

"are we going to…?" the unfinished question hung in the air, making y/n's eyes widen.

"what? no! not if you don't want to!” she assured quickly, blushing furiously. “but we can if you want… but we don't have to do anything! kissing is cool too. we don't even have to kiss…"

"no!" he protested, straightening up a bit, for he had been leaning more on the mattress on his elbows than actually sitting on it. "no, i want to. i want… everything,” he whispered, much quieter now, slightly ashamed of his apparent need. after thinking about it, he added, "please?"

y/n's face stretched into his favorite kind of smile, and the woman leaned toward him once more, causing spencer to return to his previous position. out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hand reach for the TV remote. without breaking eye contact with him, she hit the play button and pulled him into a kiss as the documentary began.

spencer felt like he was about to pass out.

"jesus, you're so cute i could bite your nose if it didn't end well," she said, making him snort in amusement.

"what?" he asked, but y/n just laughed along with him and reached for the buttons on her shirt, slowly unbuttoning it, while kissing him.

spencer never in his wildest dreams would have thought that he could be right here — under the thighs of the most beautiful girl who, he was sure, would never look at him the way y/n was now sizing him up, exposing more and more naked patches of her skin. he breathed heavily, stroking the skin of her thighs as she slid off the black fabric. he didn't know exactly where he had landed, actually, he didn't know much at the moment. his iq didn't matter anymore, he was just a jerk who stared captivated at y/n's swimsuit-covered breasts, his mouth slightly parted and his gaze absent.

"something's wrong?" a soft y/n voice cut through his not very coherent thoughts and distracted him from the dark green fabric where the nipples poked through.

"no," he replied firmly, propping himself up on his elbows a bit to bring his lips closer to hers. "you're just beautiful."

he kissed her hard, feeling y/n lift the corners of his mouth, and his hand, previously resting on her leg, moved up to the woman's back, where the strings of her swimsuit brushed the nape of her neck.

[maleyanderecafe]

A Double Sided Mirror (Visual Novel)

Created by: Glass Berry Studios

Genre: Horror/Romance

This r18 game is very well put together, especially in the quality of it's assets. This game is entirely voice acted, though in Spanish and it is a joy to play through. I think between the two "forms" I like Charlie a lot better than I like Charles since I really love softer and shyer boys. If you like this game you can check out more of them at @adoublesided

The story starts out with a call between Charlie and his sister, Lucy. Lucy seems to have had a nightmare while Charlie assures her that it's not her fault. Lucy seems to feel guilty that if she had not done what she did, Charlie wouldn't have to deal with such horrible things. Lucy apologizes for calling Charlie late at night, with Charlie mentioning that he has a date in the morning, causing Lucy to freak out a bit, stating that he's not ready to go on dates. A myserious voice explains that it's the reason why Charlie didn't tell her, with Lucy responding negatively.

We cut to the MC the next day wondering about their date. It seems that they have broken up at least fairly recently. They end up meeting up at the mall and wait for their date, however, after a while, it seems that he is never coming. Out of annoyance and anger, the MC ends up going to a cafe nearby and ordering something to drink. After waiting and talking to a scary barista named Cameron, she walks up to them and gives them cake, along with a note. It seems that the cake was bought by someone in the cafe, as Cameron ends up pointing at and it's the person that the MC was supposed to be on a date with, with the note apologizing for being too shy to talk to them.From there, the MC can either decide to talk to him or be creeped out.

If the MC decides to meet up with him, they'll huff about how late the date is and goes to talk to him. He is, first and foremost extremely nervous to see the MC, even telling them that he was trying to get the courage to apologize.

If the MC reassures him, he will start getting happily flustered before the MC starts eating the cake. The MC expresses their appreciation and offers to give some to him as well. He gets flustered as there's only one spoon and gets even more so when the MC feeds him suddenly. He basically gets so nervous he has to eat some drugs to calm down, though when the MC apologizes, he mentions that the drugs are for a condition he's had for a while. The MC wonders why he didn't tell them about his condition, with him stating that he didn't want to think that he was weak and not want to go out with him (which sidenote, that would make me want to go more out with him because bulliable and I like weakness in my men, anyways), which the MC reassures him about. He thanks them as no one has ever said that before, before the MC offers to go on another date with him. They also ended up eating all the cake much to their surprise. Before leaving, he has a big outburst wanting to exchange numbers. They also don't know each other's name as the app makes the two of them exchange nicknames for safety reasons (which seems weird but what do I know about dating apps), and the two introduce each other, with him introducing himself as Charlie. The MC rides the subway back, but while there sits next to someone who is very creepy. The MC feels extremely uncomfortable and panicked and leaves as soon as it hits their stop. When getting back, they are spooked by the sudden notification from Charlie before going to check the fridge, seeing that it's empty. After wishing that they had some more of that cake, the world seems to glitch before the MC notices that a cake did seem to be in the fridge the entire time. They end up eating it before bed and texting Charlie before going to sleep.

If they feel instead off about the situation, they'll talk more sternly to him, not even sure if he is the date at all. He will prove it by showing them their profile, but as they wonder about how they knew where they were after the date, he will then transform into a more confident version of himself. The MC seems to not remember what happened, but as he flirts with them, they realize they didn't tell him that they're not really interested in dating at the moment but rather just meeting new people. When they do tell him, he seems to be amused at the fact that they would think that's bad. When the MC does ask him on another date, he goes back to his shy version again. The story then continues as above.

If the MC is creeped out, they'll realize that it's very strange that he'd know where they were, considering that the cafe was pretty far away from their original meeting place. The MC becomes paranoid that he's been following them around and feels fear of what he could do. They end up throwing away the cake and confronting him, talking about how they waited for a long time and that a cake isn't enough to fix this issue. The guy starts shaking before the MC basically tells him that they never want to see him or interact with him again. The MC then leaves, becoming increasingly paranoid that he is following them and rushes into a nearby bookstore. Once there, someone mistaken them as a bookshop employee before coming back and asking if they are alright. The MC can then decide if they want to tell him or not.

If they decide not to, he will leave, leading to the MC bumping into someone else (who looks kind of like Charlie). He apologizes and notes the MC's behavior. To bring their mind off of their other date, he offers to buy them something near the food court. The MC seems to reject sweets at the moment as it reminds them of Charlie, so instead opts into eating something spicy. The guy ends up buying some spicy wings for them instead. After eating, the guy tells the MC that he actually did seem them in the bookstore and wanted to talk to them, but ended up bumping into them before actually figuring out a way to do that. He introduces himself as Charles and the MC asks for their number, to which he hesitantly says the he left his phone at home, asking for them to instead write down their number so that they can call them later. When getting back, they are trapped in a downpour, but Charles ends up bumping into them and offering them his umbrella for them to both be under. The two of them end up talking, with Charles mentioning that he was using this an excuse to not go to his family's gathering and to hang out with the MC. After some more light flirting, the MC ends up in their apartment, texting Charles before bed and going to sleep.

If they do tell him, the guy will help try to get them away from Charlie and even offers to walk them home. He introduces himself as Jeremy and promises to keep the MC safe. While doing so, we are interrupted by a not very happy creature (presumably Charlie) before going back to normal. As the two of them walk out of the mall, the MC and Jeremy hold hands (out of safety). The MC is able to arrive at their apartment safely and gets a text from Jeremy who asks if they are safe. After this, they notice that they've forgotten to buy food as the fridge is empty and goes to sleep hungry. Before falling asleep they notice that someone (Charlie) seems to be crawling up from the foot of their bed.

I just have to say first of all that this game is really well made for a demo, from the voice acting to the cameos in the backgrounds, to the UI and sprites, everything looks very polished. The more jump scary horror scenes are really good too, with the one where Charlie at the foot of the bed actually making me flinch because I wasn't expecting it. One of the more minor issues I do have is with the trigger warning screen and only because having to open up the game over and over again and having to wait a minute for the trigger warning to finish is pretty tiring. I would have liked it better if perhaps there was a way to skip it on second viewing by clicking on it. This is a pretty minor thing compared to the rest of the story going on.

In this game there are seemingly two yanderes, Charlie and Charles, who are the same person, but are able to change appearance and personality. From what I can tell, Charlie/Charles are closer to being an entity that is trying to become human that is attached onto Charlie. Charlie seems to be the dominant personality of the two as he's not only the first version we see in all routes but also the one we see calling Lucy in the beginning. From what I can tell, the personality/appearence tends to change into Charles when Charlie becomes majorly uncomfortable, as seen when he does turn into a more confident version of himself as well as when we end up seeing Charles after rejecting Charlie. It's likely related to the pulls that Charlie ends up eating in one of the routes after he starts shaking really badly. It does make me wonder if the Charles personality can suddenly appear if something happens, or if Charlie's personality would basically be gone for good. It would also explain the sudden change in his eye color and general appearance as his clothes also change pretty drastically (at least in terms of style, not so much clothing colors).

To no one's surprise, I like Charlie more than Charles because god he's so cute when he's shy. I actually streamed this game to @meo-eiru and we both agree that while he needs to get an outfit change he is way too adorable. The voice actor did a good job making him very shy and changing into Charles or when Charlie becomes a more confident person. From what we can tell Charlie seems to have stalked the MC for a while, even knowing that they went to cafe, but too shy to have actually talked to them, even knowing what kind of cake that they would like. He seems to have some sort of power as well that's shared with Charles, being able to change reality in some sort of way, either by changing his appearance/ personality, but also manifesting items as well, like when the MC wished to eat the cake that Charlie had gotten them only to find it glitched into their fridge. Like I said, Charlie seems to be the "base" personality of the character, likely affected heavily by whatever Lucy did to make him this way and seems to change under stress. So it could be possible that this is some sort of DID, however, it doesn't explain the glitches in reality that tends to happen in the game when it does happen. Most of the time though, we were both like go back to Charlie every time he became Charles. Stay Charlie, you're really cute.

Charles on the other hand is more closer to standard yandere love interests in these types of vns, being a lot more open and flirty with the player and confident. He does have his cuter side to him as well though like when he was spreading his arms excitedly when talking to the MC. Much like Charlie, we do know that Charles does follow the MC around as when he coincidentally was near their apartment when they go home in the rain as well as just bumping into them into the bookstore, though we don't know to what extent Charles and Charlie know of each other. He is at least aware enough that the MC does not want to see Charlie again, thus has to pretend that he's left his phone at home as to not let them know that they actually matched on the dating app. Apart from that, we don't really know too much of the extent of his yandere actions, at least not in the game, since we don't know exactly how much of it intersects with Charlie. We also learn from him that he's not on best terms with his family as he has been avoiding his family reunion, which does sort of make sense considering the interaction we see in the beginning where Lucy (from what I can tell) doesn't react too happily with Charles's response.

Conceptually in the game, there are a lot of mysteries that have been set up already, from Lucy and Charlie/Charles's relationship to who exactly Charlie and Charles are, to what's going on with all the glitches in the story to who if Cameron is going to get killed or not, so we'll have to see what will happen in the future. I do like the concept of yanderes that change depending on the player's actions (because I'm not biased at all as my game, Perfect Love, also does something similar) since that leads to a lot of possibilities. It's already pretty well made from what we see in the demo, so I'm sure it'll be something great to see whenever the full game is finished.

Overall, good game, with an intriguing mystery and well made. Charlie is the best boy and I hope I get an ending where I can kill him with my bare hands (lovingly or otherwise). I would recommend playing this game if you are interested in it.

As a bonus, have a meme that @meo-eir made after playing the game.

[jaegeraether]

Sunsets and footballers (Part 1)

Lucy Bronze x Reader (1)

Masterlist (other parts here)

(Slow start, but it'll pick up, I promise! I love little details, how am I doing for my first ever fanfic? :))

(*Slow burn hopeless romance with Lucy Bronze x reader. :) Smut in chapter 8.*)

Eyes closed, she took a deep breath in and out. The sea breeze whipped a few strands of hair out of her messy bun. She opened her eyes to look at the last rays of daylight as the wind shifted suddenly. A storm was coming – she could feel it. She smiled and looked up at the darkening clouds. She loved the feeling of the darkness creeping in, and the storm. She was unsure whether it was the potential violence of it, or the uncertainty, but she still loved it nonetheless. She felt comfortable in that space. She looked around the beach and saw nobody. It was so different to Australia, where people would be sitting on the beach regardless of the weather. Her eyes searched the beach for any sign of life, and out of curiosity, she checked the little alcove at the top of the sand - barely big enough for a couple. Sure enough, as had been the past several sunsets, she saw her again. She was a petite thing with a kind face, yet it held a frown and sad eyes. She had her arms wrapped around her shins, her chin resting on her knees. Her clothes, although the right sizes, looked like they were drowning her, and her expensive white trainers were ruined by the sand. She held a thousand-mile stare over the water and YFN wondered what she was thinking about. She looked like the kindest person, with the face that had the potential to light up at the smallest of things. She had been here every sunset for the past four days – which is how long YFN had been in the city. Who knows the actual number of times the woman had actually been coming here.

YFN puzzled over her. She wanted to make sure she was okay, but didn’t want to overstep with a complete stranger. YFN knew that look though, and would never be able to forget if she didn’t at least try.

She stood and walked slowly over to the woman, careful to not startle her. As she stopped in front of her, the woman lifted her head from her knees, a small look of surprise and worry crossing her face. Though, the surprise was one of a people-pleasing nature, a look that said she didn’t want to interrupt someone to go out of their day just to speak to her.

YFN sat diagonally to her so as not to block her view or force a close proximity to sit beside her. “Hey, I hope you don't mind me coming over to say hello. I just noticed you seem to be the only person here to appreciate sunsets as much as I do.”

The woman gave a little smile and her eyes softened. “I never really watched sunsets much in my life to be fair. This is a completely new thing to me.” Her accent was unmistakably English though YFN had no idea from where as she was so new to the country.

“Why the change, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I think it calms me. It helps relax my mind.”

YFN nodded. “I get that. I’ve always been a sunset and beach baby though. It’s just so… peaceful? I’m not sure if that’s the right word.”

“Do you like sunrises as well then?”

“Interestingly enough, no. I really don’t. I can admire how pretty they are, sure. But they give me anxiety more than take it away.”

She rested her chin back on her knees. “Ah. You’re not from around here, are you?”

“Is the accent that bad?”

“You sound quite English to be fair, but you speak a bit different. Where are you from?”

“Australia. Landed about four days ago, actually.”

“Australia?! I love Australia. No wonder you’re at the beach. You don’t sound very Australian though.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” She laughed. “I’m YFN.”

“I’m Jordan.”

“Nice to meet you, Jordan.” She smiled and received a genuinely happy smile in return. “To be honest, you’re the first person I’ve had a proper conversation with here, and I hope you don’t take this in a negative way at all, but I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

Jordan’s head lifted again in surprise, again that people pleasing worry that someone was going out of their way to worry about her was present. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. YFN continued to fill the void. “I’ve seen you here the past four days and I don’t mean to overstep, I just noticed you looked a little…upset…perhaps, and wanted to come over and offer myself as an ear or a friend, whatever you may need.”

Jordan’s lips twitched and she pressed them together as if she were trying to stop her tears from starting. Her chin quivered and she tilted her head back slightly in an attempt to stop the tears before they began.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Jordan.” She said her name to create a common ground between them. “Honestly, I pride myself on being the most understanding person you’ll ever meet so please, I’m right here if you need to talk, or need a hug. Anything you need. I’m right here.”

Jordan gave a little laugh and used the cuffs of her baggy shirt to wipe her tears away.

“I’m sorry I’m just blubbering away like a child.”

YFN pulled herself up the sand so she was sitting right next to her. “Don’t be sorry at all. I’m right here. To be honest, who else is better to talk to than a stranger you might not see again, hey?”

Jordan smiled and gave another little laugh, though the tears were increasing. YFN took a risk and put her arm around Jordan’s little body. She clutched her far shoulder and rubbed it to soothe her. Jordan leaned into her, her whole body a quivering mess slowly becoming undone.

“I…I…I’ve lo…lost everything.” Her hands went up to cover her face and YFN turned slightly, wrapped her other arm around her also, pulling her close. Her body was so little and fragile. She cried louder, letting herself be held by YFN.

���You’ll be okay, Jordan. Let it all out. I’m right here. Just take your time and let it all out.” Jordan relaxed a little and continued to cry, sniffling into her hands. YFN took a few tissues out of her pocket and slipped them into her hands.

“Th…th…tha…” She wiped her eyes and blew her nose. After she calmed a bit, she leaned back, her eyes red and puffy, with an attempt at an apologetic smile. YFN gave back the most heartfelt, empathetic smile she could. She kept one arm around her.

“Oh – I definitely needed that.”

“I think you did. I think you need a bit more to be honest, but that’s a good start.”

Jordan blew her nose again and a shiver rippled through her spine. YFN rubbed her shoulder to give her some warmth.

“Would you like to talk about it, or we could sit in silence if you’d like?”

Jordan looked at her. She felt relaxed and like she could be herself around the woman. She felt like a genuine, nice human. Jordan also assumed from everything that she had no idea who she was and what she did for a living. That helped encourage her to open up. “I just feel so sad all the time lately. I don’t get it – it’s not me.” YFN stayed quiet and let her talk. It was healthy to talk. “I lost my partner, I lost my c…club of over ten years…it was my h…home. I lost my spot on the England squad. I can’t even represent my c…country. I’m just.. really not doing well at the moment, and I don’t know what to do or who to talk to.”

“You’re an athlete?”

Jordan nodded. “Football.”

“Ah, I heard that’s pretty popular here.”

Jordan laughed. “Yeah, we’re a bit obsessed over here to be fair.”

“Do you have a new club?”

“Yeah…yeah I do.”

“Was it your choice to leave?”

“Yeah it was. I wasn’t getting enough play time. I’m a footballer – I need to play. And my ex is at the club, and it was getting hard to see her every day. Leaving was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.”

“Did someone help you make that decision?”

“Yeah actually, I had a friend who I was speaking to about it all. She was really encouraging about it all, to be fair. She said leaving was the right choice.”

“Well I don’t know this friend but I’m one hundred percent certain she was right. You made the right choice for your career, and for your emotional health. It may feel like you’ve lost everything, but you need to look at it instead as a new beginning. Because that’s exactly what it is. New beginning with new friends in a new location. More play time. Time to yourself and away from your ex. This is such a positive step!”

Jordan smiled and her body relaxed as she looked up at YFN. “Really?”

“Really. I promise. It’s only hurting because it’s all so new. Change is scary but it’s a good thing for you. It’s exciting to be honest! So much more opportunity.”

Jordan nodded. “You’re right.” Her lip quivered again. “It’s just so hard at the moment and I feel so alone in all of this.” She shivered as a gust of cold wind swept over them.

YFN rubbed her shoulder again. “Who’s your friend who helped you make a decision? Can you call her to spend the night and help give you some advice and support?”

“L…Lucy. She should be in London for camp at the moment actually.”

“Perfect. Maybe we should call her and you can spend the night. Do you think she’d like that?”

“Y…eah. I just wouldn’t want to ruin her camp.”

“She’s your friend. I’m sure she will prioritise you above all else, hm? Friends come first.” Jordan looked unsure – her people pleasing face on again. “It’s okay to ask for support.” YFN whispered to soften the blow. She rubbed her shoulder. “Can I call her for you?”

Jordan nodded and took out her phone. She brought up the contact and gave the phone to YFN.

“I’ll be just a minute, okay?” YFN took the phone and moved away from Jordan. She shivered again, her little body not dealing well with the wind. YFN knelt down in front of her and took off her jacket, ignoring Jordan’s protests as she put it on her. Jordan gave her a thankful smile. YFN smiled back and stood, walking just far enough away that she wouldn’t be able to hear. She dialled the number.

“Hey Jords, what’s happening?” Again, another English accent, though this one was stronger and still just a mystery to YFN.

“Hi…Lucy? This isn’t Jordan, it’s YFN. You don’t know me, I only met Jordan ten minutes ago.”

“Is she okay?” The voice was immediately worried and concerned.

“She’s okay. We’re just at the beach. I noticed she’d been coming down here for a few days, and looking a little upset and lost. I just came over to make sure she’s okay and she’s not. I think she’s had a rough time lately with her ex and her club and the England squad she mentioned? Anyways, I think it’s best if she had a friend to talk to and spend the night with.”

“Absolutely. Which beach are you at? I’ll come right now.”

“I’m not sure actually, and I think that’ll be a bit too much for her. She needs support but I’ve noticed she doesn't like the idea of putting anyone out. I think you turning up here might be a bit too like an intervention. She mentioned she didn’t want to ruin your camp also.”

“Argh Jords.” She sounded frustrated and worried. “Okay well do you think you can get her to my place at all? I’m sorry to ask more of you.”

“No, it’s okay, I promise. I don’t mind at all. She seems like an amazing person, and so do you, to be honest. I just want her to be okay and know that she has support. It’s really important.”

“Yes, it is. Okay come to mine, Jords knows the address, and I’ll see you soon, okay? Let me know if you need me to come get you from anywhere.”

“Thanks Lucy, we’ll see you soon.”

YFN hung up and walked back over to Jordan who was zoned out again, staring at the sand. She knelt down and gave her phone back with a smile. “Lucy seems lovely. She’s excited to see you.”

“She’s a good friend.” Jordan smiled in return.

“She wants you to stay the night. Do you know how to get there from here?”

She nodded and paused, looked up at YFN. “Can you come with me?” She asked hesitantly, as she struggled to ask for help.

“Of course I can!” She took Jordan’s hands and helped pull her up. She went to take the jacket off and YFN caught her. “Nuh uh uh. Keep it for now, please. You look freezing.”

They walked up the beach to the stairs and ascended them, the wind getting even more aggressive. Jordan stopped at the top and took her shoes off one at a time to empty the sand out. The wind almost knocked her little body over as she was balancing and YFN caught her before she fell, holding her steady while she put her shoe back on.

“Jeez, you’re like my guardian angel.” Jordan laughed.

“Chivalry isn’t dead when I’m around, mate!” YFN put on a strong Australian accent.

They walked in comfortable silence for a bit, YFN not wanting to push her to talk or to get emotional again. The silence was the good kind though, the comfortable kind. They would brush against each other by accident, setting a pace perfect for them both. YFN looked up at the dark storm clouds above them and smelled petrichor. She loved the smell of coming rain.

“I never asked anything about you. What are you doing here?”

“Are you about to tell me to go back to my own country?”

Jordan laughed. “No, of course not!”

“I’ve always wanted to visit and was sick of waiting for people who always had excuses, so I decided to do it alone. Best decision. Have you travelled much?”

“I mean, I’ve travelled a lot with football, but mainly in Europe. We had the World Cup last year over in Australia though. That was the best time of my life. The beaches and the weather were incredible.”

“Do you have anywhere else you want to go?”

“So many places, but I always expected to go with Leah, you know?”

“Your ex?”

Jordan flinched, realising she had just mentioned Leah Williamson, Captain of the England Squad and world-wide known celebrity. She looked for a reaction at the name from YFN and didn’t get one. It comforted her that YFN genuinely had no clue about any of them. “Yeah… yeah. We sort of…fell apart. I don’t know how I can love someone else. She was perfect. I was so lucky.”

“What happened?” YFN asked softly. Jordan hesitated. YFN opened her mouth to give her an out.

“She grew. I didn’t. I stayed the same. Same old me. Never getting games, just happy to be there. Watching my friends all get game time and do amazing things while I was only there because I was dating the Captain. She learnt so much and I just… wasn’t enough anymore.” She was crying again, harder. So hard that she couldn’t see where she was going. YFN offered her arm and she took it, letting her lead the way. It started raining then, and it didn’t begin slowly, it came down hard, hard, harder. Big droplets. They were both soaked in an instant. They continued to walk, almost unable to hear each other in the rain. YFN saw a little alcove and pushed Jordan back into it so she would be dry for a bit. YFN, however, was still in the rain. The alcove was only big enough for one.

“Is it far?!” She almost shouted above the rain.

Jordan shook her head, and YFN could see that the rain had sombered her mood even further. “I lost everything. I lost her. I lost my family. My club. Everything.” She let herself feel her emotion loudly, being comforted by the deafening sound of the rain. YFN’s heart broke and she wrapped Jordan up into an all-encompassing hug. She knew the feeling all too well. Jordan sobbed loudly, as she clung to YFN as if she were a life support. YFN rested her chin on her head and rubbed her back. “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I promise. I’ve got you.”

Jordan clung tighter, her whole body quivering with grief. YFN felt Jordan’s phone vibrate and let her continue to grieve, grabbing the phone out. Several missed calls from Lucy, as well as messages. Just as she was about to message back, she called again. YFN held Jordan tight against her with one arm in the little alcove, her other answering the phone.

“Hello?”

“YFN? Is she okay?”

She tightened her grip around the woman. “We’ve just had to make a stop with the rain.”

“There’s a storm. That’s why I’ve been calling. I’m in my car driving around to find you two. Where are you?” Lucy’s voice was worried and commanding.

YFN looked at the store window they were leant up against. “Daly’s Deli? Do you know where that is?”

“I’m just turning the corner now. I’ll be there in a minute.”

The phone hung up and YFN pocketed it. She placed her arm back around Jordan.

“Everything…everything…Leah…Arsenal…my England squad…my friends…”

“Jordan… you need to stop following this grief. Allow yourself to grieve, yes, but we need to think of the positives also, okay? New club, new people, new opportunities, more play time. It’s scary to start new but it’s incredible. You’re going to have so many new opportunities!”

A car quickly pulled up by the curb behind them and a woman stepped out, car still running, and came over. She didn’t seem to care about the rain, her focus on the two women holding each other in the alcove. Lucy’s dark brown hair was up in a messy bun, her clear framed glasses getting soaked in the rain. She wiped them as she hurried over. Her eyes met YFN’s and she paused, blinking. The two shared something, and then their attention shifted to Jordan.

“Jords, I’m here.” Lucy placed a hand on YFN’s back, and Jordan’s head, as if to protect them both in their little alcove.

“L…Lucy?”

“I’m here, Jords. Let’s get you warm and dry. Come on.”

Jordan refused to let go of YFN as they all made their way to the car. Lucy opened the door as the two slid into the back. Lucy got into the driver’s seat and drove the rest of the way to her house. She pulled into the garage where it was dry and they managed to get Jordan out and into the house.

“Alright Jords, straight into the shower please. Warm yourself up. I’ve put some clothes in there for you. I’ll be right out here, okay?”

Jordan nodded grabbed YFN’s arm. “You’re not leaving, are you?” It was a question that sounded like a plea.

YFN looked at Lucy. “If that’s okay.”

“Absolutely. She’s staying Jords. Now go warm up please.”

Lucy and YFN took a seat at the kitchen bench, both drying themselves off with towels.

“Coffee? Tea?”

“No thank you, I don’t drink either.”

Lucy raised her eyebrows like she was impressed. “She’s going to want you to stay the night, you know.”

“How do you know?”

She rolled her eyes. “Jords has been one of my closest mates for over a decade. I know.”

YFN couldn’t take her eyes off the woman. “I don’t know if that would be appropriate. We did only meet an hour ago..”

If YFN didn’t know better, she’d say that Lucy looked disappointed. “Well, you’re more than welcome. I have a spare room and spare clothes. If you do end up going, at least let me drive you there so you avoid the rain.”

“I love the rain.” YFN almost whispered.

“Me too.” Lucy stated, sharing a look. “But we can’t have you getting sick or walking home alone. Where is home, by the way?”

“Ah, I’m just staying at a hotel in town.”

Her dark eyebrows raised again. “You��re not from here?”

“Australian. Visiting. Arrived four days ago.”

Lucy looked even more intrigued. “I love Australia. That explains the accent. How long are you here for?”

“I didn’t really set a timeline, I was hoping to be in England for at least two weeks, then onto some European countries.”

“Are you travelling with a partner..?”

YFN smiled at the question. “No partner, just me.”

[a-doubleh-x]

Why I like Chaggie

Hey! My last casual ship review did pretty well, so here I am with another! Needless to say, but thank you all for the interactions, I appreciate it very much 🥰

Last time I talked about Charlastor, a notorious controversial ship and today I'll talk about a surprisingly controversial ship: Chaggie. Why do people dislike this ship? I'll go a bit into it on the second half of this post, but first I'll talk on the positive I see in this cute couple.

First of all, as a guy in his late twenties who's been on at least one relationship, I will say that I appreciate a relation that's mostly based on comfort and support. Some people might think that's boring or not quite the basis of romance, but I think quite the opposite. Johnathan Decker, a licensed couples therapist on youtube (you might know him from Cinema Therapy) often talks about how safety and mutual understanding are the basis of any lasting relationship.

At the start of the Amazon series, Charlie and Vaggie have been together for 3 years, which is evident in many of their day to day interactions. They're comfortable with each other, they rely on each other and best of all, they still coo every now and then over how adorable the other is.

That is not to say the relationship is without conflict, which in my opinion as a writer it's the lifeblood of any good story. Vaggie is clearly quite codependent of Charlie, which is why a large portion of her self worth is based on being useful to her. However, I think the two of them do a decent job of talking through the problems this brings sometimes, such as episode 3.

I think it's cool that the relationship seems to work despite their rocky moments. Charlie most likely thinks a person like Vaggie is a breath of fresh air in Hell, she's selfless, loyal and dedicated. That's probably the reason why she has so much patience with her, a feeling that I'm certain is mutual. Vaggie is clearly very aware of how silly and idealistic Charlie is, in fact she often tries to nudge her to be careful with her attitude. And even though she may not agree with everything, she still always supports her without appearing judgemental, which I think speaks volumes of her character.

Now, let's talk about the shortcomings in the face of the audience. Some people think there's not enough substance in canon to be sold on the couple, which I think is a valid opinion. Some people argue that Chaggie's relationship is boring and not quite as interesting to watch as Charlastor, which I don't entirely agree with. Some people plain dislike or hate Vaggie because they think she's just a naggy chick who is an awful partner to Charlie in every way, which I *definitely* don't agree with.

My opinion falls in a more moderate standpoint. I think, even in the series, their relationship isn't boring, but it could've been presented better. While I said earlier that I think conflict is good in a story, I think a problem in the series that's probably unintentional is that most of the story beats with Charlie and Vaggie are negative.

In episode 3, they have a fight over their lack of communication. In episode 6, Vaggie puts her own secret status as a fallen angel over Charlie, which harms her later. And in episode 7, Charlie spends most of the episode mad at Vaggie and they make up offscreen, which is something unilaterally most fans believe was a mistake.

To the showrunner's credit, there are some positive major story beats. There's Charlie's trust fall on Vaggie, which was cute. There's their beautiful duet in episode 8. And there's them fighting alongside each other in the final battle.

Unfortunately, the fact their arc is a bit wonky and doesn't have a proper buildup makes it so that the climax (the duet) may feel a bit unearned. I don't want to make this whole post about the series because I could spend all day talking about it, so I'll just say for now that i underdtand why some people aren't sold on the ship.

I will say. Some fans have some very beautiful, gorgeous pictures of this ship. There's this great comic made by squids-and-fruitcake that's been running around about Charlie giving Vaggie a gift for Christmas (here's a youtube link in case you want to watch a dub, I couldn't find the original)

I think it's a great example of why this relationship works: they love each other. They may not completely understand each other's circumstances, but they try every day and are still together because of their mutual effort.

Charlie herself, as Hell's number 1 laughingstock can really use the support and the fact that Vaggie supports her even though she doesn't have all the answers means a lot to her. She brings her stability, peace and affection, all things she lacked until she met her.

Vaggie, on the other hand, who was plunged against her will into a pit of violence and cynicism also needs Charlie's perspective. She loves the fact that she cares about something bigger than herself, that she wants to help damned people like her, which given her circumstances I think it's something she also needs in a fundamental level.

That haz bin my review for today! What do you think? Do you like Chaggie? Do you think it could've been written better? What's your favorite interaction between them? Let me hear your thoughts! It's been fun to put my thoughts down for casual reviews, I hadn't done it before, so expect more in the future while I'm still working on the next chapter of my fanfic.

I think I already have an idea about what my next Hazbin post is going to be about (hint: it has to do with Angel Dust). Thank you again for all the love, hope to see you all soon!

[synergysilhouette]

An alternate take on "Wish" (2023)

I was hoping I wouldn't have to make something like this. I've already done remakes for movies I liked, and I wasn't expecting to make one on this so soon. I heard a lot of discourse about this movie, as well as a lot of praise, and sadly, the negative feelings for the movie are what I aligned with more. It felt like it was rushed and missing important pieces--weird for a movie that's an hour and a half--as well as unrealized concepts altogether.

Human Star--We all know what I'm talking about. At one point, Star was supposed to be a human who romanced Asha, but this was never realized. Some people surmise it's because Star was confirmed to have (at one stage) been modeled after Asha's grandfather Sabino, who would've been dead. However, in my version, Star is Asha's love interest, sans-Sabino inspiration. He (or whatever pronouns you'd like to use, since Star is nonbinary) would've appeared as a Star at first, helping Asha before taking the form of an ethereal young man after hanging out with Safi, Gabo, and Dario. His fashion would be standout from the get-go, very ethereal and vibrant like a walking ball of light--or a peacock, if you will. In contrast to the yellow aesthetic in the concept art, I'd like a rainbow look or a silver and blue appearance, bringing to mind "Colors of the Wind" and "The Soreceror's Apprentice." He wouldn't speak, instead miming and using sign language to communicate, forming close bonds not only with Asha, but Bazeema and Dario. He's funny and silly, but knows when to be serious and empathetic, like a slightly more serious and wiser version of Sisu. When Magnifico sucks the magic out of him, he falls and starts to flicker, similar to Tinker Bell when losing her magic. This is when the reprise of "This Wish" begins.

2. Asha's personality--You know, she wasn't as cringey as I was expecting since she was supposed to be adorakale, but I do prefer her being a bit more mature. I'd make her in her early 20s and give her a personality similar to Mulan and Pocahontas--athletic, determined, and heartfelt, while still being vulnerable without feeling like she tries too hard to be relateable (I swear, the scene with her grandfather and mother reminded me of Mulan being told to learn her place). I'd also give her (and Magnifico) a different design, but I've already made two posts about that. And I'd make her a bit less perfect with her ideals; she cares about others, but she's somewhat of a social climber, wanting to be Magnifico's apprentice specifically so he can grant her and her family's wishes. Magnifico appreciates her for her moment of cynicism, stating how Rosas has only grown in size because people want to use Magnifico's powers and leave.

3. Asha gets the job--Asha gets recommended by Simon to be Magnifico's apprentice, as he's a knight for the king and he trusts his imput. Impressed by how (unintentionally) translucent Asha is, Magnifico decides to make her his apprentice, giving her the power to use magic like he can. As such, she's his apprentice for a bit before running away.

4. Sakina's wish--Since Asha is over the age of 18, she has already given her wish to Magnifico. She's fine with not achieving her wish, but finds out that her mother wished that her father were alive, as she desperately misses him (it's been about a decade by now). Magnifico becomes something like father figure to Asha, but when she realizes he destroyed Sakina's wish in order to give her magic, she's horrified (she actually finds this out by accident, having overheard Amaya and Magnifico) at his disregard for others' dreams and runs away from Rosas. Magnifico sends people to find her and return her, unharmed, but her magic and her pain summons down Star to help her. Magnifico reveals that bringing Asha's father back from the dead is something he can do--but shouldn't, as it would create unforeseeable harm.

5. Magnifico and Amaya's Past--It's weird how a film's villain gets such a short and not-so-sweet backstory despite this fueling their whole ideology, huh? Deciding to pay homage to Disney, I decided to change his backstory, making it so that he is a genie--or, he was. He spent centuries being used and abused by mortals who wanted his wish-granting power, until Amaya found him and they fell in love. She wished him free, but only with the condition that he stay by her side forever, for while Amaya loved him, she loved power as well. It's revealed that she's a sorceress, but her power is much more limited than Magnifico's (see 1992's "Aladdin" for the power dynamic between sorcerers and genies). Similar to the Evil Queen, Amaya keeps a magic mirror that allows her to see anywhere in the realm she desires, as well as transferring her image to any location, and she is able to shapeshift. She is shocked when she discovers that Magnifico can gift others powers on his level, but that he never offered it to her.

6. "At All Costs" and "I'm a Star" are changed for different situations--It's revealed that Amaya is also a villain, and while she loves Magnifico, she has difficulty expressing it, as she frequently emotionally manipulates him in order to control him, as he's never learned the limits of his powers, and believes in maintaining the wishes of Rosas in order to maintain balance and keep bad wishes from being fufilled, which suits his wife just fine, since it makes her subjects more compliant. As a result, "At All Costs" is sung between the two in a powerful, rumbling, vibrant number that shows their twisted love for each other and their subjects. "I'm a Star," on the other hand, is a power ballad Star uses for Asha and the Teens to gain confidence in themselves, using the animals (and having Asha sing) in order to convey the message to her.

7. The Teens are more present and have lives--Simon is already a knight for Magnifico, Dahlia being a cook for Magnifico is more promiment, Safi comes from an affluent family, Hal and Bazeema are dating (just got the vibe; I'm not saying anything is canon), Dario is a farmer's boy with dreams of being a performer, and Gabo is still figuring himself out, fueling his bitterness in the group since everyone else has stuff going on in their personal or professional lives. As such, no one bretrays or turns their back on Asha--at least, not deliberately; Safi and Bazeema are quick to submit when their families are threatened, while Simon is manipulated into thinking that getting Asha back is solely for altruistic reasons.

8. Amaya's deceit--Intending to get Asha back when she realizes she's summoned Star, Amaya shapeshifts into her father (who we'll call Ignacio for now) and says that Magnifico brought him back in order to have her return. Star attempts to alert her of the ruse, but they have a falling out over it, and Asha and "Ignacio" sing a reprise of "At All Costs." However, once they return to Rosas, Amaya reveals her deceit, torturing Asha with depictions of a violently bruised and battered Ignacio before stripping her of her powers and throwing her, Dahlia, Safi, and Bazeema in the dungeons. As such, Star must rally Gabo, Dario, and Hal to help them escape. During this time, "Knowing What I Know Now" starts off on a sad note, as Asha reflects on the complexity of wishes and how Magnifico was somewhat right.

9. Magnifico's Carnage--I want Notre Dame-levels of mass hysteria and destruction; houses are being raided, people are being injured (maybe even killed? Too much?), all because Magnifico is unraveling; after being abused for so long and even learning that his own wife has been secretly using some of his captive wishes and using it to increase her own power, he goes on a rampage, showing the kingdom how selfish they are, and how despite his best efforts to please them, they always wanted more. As such, the kingdom is left in ruins, and Amaya battles him, enraged that she has no one to rule over. Magnifico, not holding back any longer, takes away her own natural powers, leaving her a helpless queen, and during a battle in the throne room, Asha and the gang uses the magic mirror to repel Magnifico's attacks until one of them hits him and Amaya, turning them into a statue of silver and gold.

10. Lessons learned--While Star doesn't come back (kinda want a "If I Never Knew You" song for this generation), his magic is infused into Asha due to his love for her, allowing her to regain her powers and become a fairy godmother. Asha takes this seriously, seeing how her last experiences with wishes taught her so much and cost so many lives. The people of Rosas are humbled by the experience, and the citizens leave the land as night falls, a shooting star pointing to a distant land for them to inhabit. In the end, everyone wonders what future awaits them, and Asha vows to use her magic to help make it a home--though she asks them to be patient with her, since "even miracles take a little time."

11. We get more vibrant colors! SO much looks like they've been watered down instead of colorful and vibrant like "Sleeping Beauty" (the visual inspiration for the film) was.

Lemme know what you think! Keep in mind, I only recently saw this film, so as time passes, I may edit this--or delete this and make a brand new remake post altogether.

[mybworlds]

CHAPTER 2

status: ongoing

pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: your life is full of 'must'. You live with your overprotective mother who controls every aspect of your life. You have a dream, to write romance novels, but love - real love - you haven't found yet. Your mother has even decided what you must do in your free time: play music. One day, however, when you go to your music teacher's house, you will have an unexpected encounter and from that day on things change…

rating: 18+ explicit (minors, DNI)

Masterlist

Before to start... please remember English is not my first language, so please be kind.

If you like or you want to reblog and/or leave a comment I'd appreciate 🥹

If you don't like my story, don't be rude and go away ✌🏻

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

There are two ways this story could have gone-if it was a story heard in the bar-either the protagonist turns her back on the mysterious and charming man or she gives him a chance, even though she feels she shouldn't.

You decide to look into his face and see a strange light in his eyes, very reminiscent of that magnetic, mysterious light that Tommy emanates. That light you've never been able to understand.

Who knows with the second Miller maybe?

What are you talking about, you don't have to understand anything at all! Tommy Miller is just your music teacher and this one in front of you is just his brother, a strange, somewhat know-it-all, cocky and unfortunately charming brother.

You don't know him.

You have only seen him for two minutes, but you already have mixed feelings.

On the one hand you want to run away, on the other you absolutely cannot avoid his gaze.

"So what have you figured out about me in less than a minute?" he challenges you with an amused air.

"You're older than Tommy, you're very confident, you're convinced you can do and say anything you want. No one will ever punish you, will they?"

You're not usually like this, you're definitely more resigned, reserved, but not with Joel Miller.

He smiles as he lowers his head and shakes it slowly, then looks back up at you.

"I like you, little girl. Tommy told me about you, but I thought you were a pretty little thing who just stood there and listened and obeyed."

Is that Tommy's idea of you?

Wait a minute, is that everyone's idea of you?

You are too focused on those words and pay no attention to the fact that he just called you, or perhaps his brother, pretty.

"Who is he now judging without even knowing me?" you chuckle at him with your chin out and crossing your arms.

He laughs, it's a warm laugh that sweeps over you, sweeps over you like a wave, like a warm gust of wind, like a ray of sunshine after weeks of rain.

Your heart loses a beat.

"I'd better go now," you say, hoping to get out of the situation that is taking on less and less clear tones.

"In a hurry to get back to your bubble?" he asks causing your heart to lose another beat.

"What bubble? What are you talking about?"

You know what he means, but what could he possibly know? You have never told Tommy anything about yourself.

Your music lessons were conducted in a specific order: you would come in, he would offer you a cup of coffee, which you promptly refused-your mother instilled too many negative thoughts in you-then Tommy would invite you to take the sheet music and finally he would take the guitar and make you strum a few chords, nothing complicated.

There was no room for any confidence either from you or from him. In fact, you had no idea whatsoever that he had a brother.

"You looked pretty sad to me when you got out of your mother's car," he replies for the first time without a trace of mockery or irony in his voice.

Your heart is pounding in your chest.

But how...?

You lower your gaze, losing that unfamiliar resourcefulness that had accompanied you until moments before.

"It's the same sadness I see in your eyes right now," he says again in a soft, calm tone.

"Let it go." you say in a whisper, lowering your gaze.

You don't want to talk about it, not with a man you barely know, you've never talked about it all the way with your friends, why should you talk about it with him? With a man much older than you who until that moment before has teased you by making you feel like a child?

He doesn't insist, thankfully, but the silence becomes harder and harder to break, and you have even more difficulty backtracking and going back to where you came from.

To that life that-even though you stubbornly deny it-becomes more limiting and narrower with each passing day.

"Do you want to come in?" he asks you in the same tone as before.

You look up and feel for the first time naked before that man; no one has ever really made you feel so helpless.

You have to run away.

"No." you reply, looking up and noticing in your tone of voice almost a trace of fright.

Before he can add anything else, you turn your back and leave. You run for the stairs, your heart in your throat.

You almost can't think.

When you are outside the building, you realize you have been holding your breath. You linger with your eyes on what to do for the remaining hour you were supposed to spend playing.

You cross the street, risking slipping on the thin layer of ice, and then head into the small bar across the street. It is a bar and you sit down in front of the counter.

"What can I get you, honey?" asks the young man. He is good-looking, with green eyes and dark hair, quite muscular.

He smiles at you.

"Um, a coffee." you reply, drumming your fingers on the counter and looking toward the doorway of the building you just came out of.

"Right away." he says, "This is not the first time I've seen you around here."

You look at him and notice that he is watching you intensely.

You remain with your mouth open.

You don't know what to say or whether to actually say anything.

You just nod.

"I don't want to look like a maniac," he clarifies, smiling at you. He has a bright smile.

"You don't look like one." you say smiling at him a little more relaxed, but not too much.

"Jack." he says holding out his hand to you. This is the second time someone has introduced himself today.

This time, unlike before, you shake the young man's hand by introducing yourself. He smiles, repeating your name.

You are not sure why you introduced yourself with him and not Joel. Not certainly because Joel is a man and Jack a young man. Age has nothing to do with it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that you are in a public place now, whereas before you were not.

You start talking about a lot of things, you find out that he is a sophomore in college, studying psychology, working there, and in his spare time volunteering. He seems to be a very interesting person.

You tell him about yourself, part of your life, the things you find most interesting about yourself, your love of writing, your passion for classical music, books, movies.

You talk about so many aspects of your life, you talk almost freewheeling. You should go back in, but maybe it is precisely because your mother is not home tonight because she is in the hospital that you don't mind being a little later and especially being with someone you think is nice and interesting.

It is almost eleven o'clock at night and Jack closes the shutter. You are both outside the club. It's cold. It looks like it's going to snow.

You shiver, clutching your shoulders, and he, with a smile, pulls off his jacket and hands you his.

"Is that better?" he asks you thoughtfully, you nod.

"Can I walk you home?" he asks you again.

Perhaps you might dare, but part of you decides it's better not to.

Jack seems to understand your intention from your gaze, he nods, gently caressing your left cheek.

"Forgive me, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself," he says, squeezing into your shoulders.

"No, no. Um, forgive me, just maybe another time."

His eyes light up "So would you like to meet again in the next few days? Maybe after you finish your music lessons?" he proposes, and you find yourself nodding with a small smile.

Jack seems like a very sweet guy, you like the way he thinks, the way he talks, you decide to give him a chance.

"See you next time, then," he says, giving you a gentle kiss on the cheek.

He is leaving, but you call him over and return his jacket, which Jack takes back with a smile, then leaves.

You have a smile on your face, see him leave, and then slowly walk home.

It's really cold.

There is a very strong wind, you huddle in your shoulders.

At some point you hear a honk not too far from you, you turn around, and at that moment the window of a dark SUV rolls down.

"Juliet, are you left alone?"

It's Joel Miller.

"Romeo's gone?"

"What do you want from me?" you ask him, crossing your arms and approaching his car.

"Nothing. I just asked you a question," he replies with a shrug.

You roll your eyes and resume walking, hearing the car walk slowly beside you.

"Was it a pleasant afternoon?" he asks you.

"Definitely better than how the evening is ending," you reply annoyed.

"Are you going to walk in the snow?"

"It's not snowing, it's just windy," you reply in an obvious tone.

"It's going to snow soon."

"Now you're in charge of the weather too? You know how to do everything!" you exclaim "Your wife will be satisfied!" you add, visibly shivering.

"Get in before you freeze to death!" he blurts out seeing you clutching yourself in your coat, you stop and look toward him "Come, I promise not to bite." he adds.

You look at the road, at the sky and then at Joel, who looks at you indecipherably, then you make up your mind: you open the door and get in.

"Here." he says slipping off his windbreaker and laying it on your shoulders in a sweet gesture of great care for you.

"Thank you." you say slipping on his jacket that is definitely big for you, then you see him turn on the hot air.

"I'll drive you home. Tell me what your address is."

You tell him your home address and he nods and puts the car in gear and drives off.

He looks at you briefly.

He does this a lot.

You don't know what to say.

"We're here." he informs you.

You make to get down immediately and launch into the house, but then you reconsider and make to return his jacket.

He shakes his head.

"Keep it. You give it back to me next time in class," he says.

"In class?" you ask still trembling.

"Don't tell me you've already forgotten your guitar lessons!" he exclaims "You really have a short memory!" he adds in what should be a serious tone, but the upturned corners of his mouth betray what was perhaps meant to be a reproach or who knows what else.

"Witty." you say "All right, then I'll see you in two days." you add in an exasperated tone as you get out of his SUV.

You are about to close the door, but then you reconsider "Thank you, you didn't have to."

"You're right, maybe I could have done like your Romeo and left you out in the cold, but I didn't have the courage."

"Whatever the reason was," you say, "thank you, obnoxious." you add, closing the door, as you close the door to your building an asshole escapes your lips.

It will be hard to have a teacher like him.

[peachykoii]

…

I–

All right, y’all, I’ve got some things to say.

Spoilers for ramblings about Dislyte Unknown Collection Story Mode:

First, some positives!

• There were some pretty interesting concepts introduced: Raven having premonition and memory-erasing powers, using her wings + comet/shooting star + all how it influences the EU: the use of stone tablets, giving out only pieces of information to the public, not interfering with the future, etc.

• I liked how the Esper Union felt more gray aligned than straight up black or white considering its origins.

• I enjoyed seeing Triki a bit fleshed out, but let me just say that I'm biased about this because I literally don't have him yet so I don't know too much about him aside from the basics. A little disappointed to not have seen the whole crew. I was also hoping to see Zora and Ren Shi too. 😭😭 I will say, I can appreciate Yamato just coming around to be a menace and have fun, lol

• The silly and cute things like the Draw and Guess game, Tevor’s photo with Hilda??? (When and how even was this/could this happen, lol), commander Xuan Pin post-Immortal Fire and her relationship with Mateo, Alexa and Abigail having their moments together, and Alexa being a Wattpad writer amateur romance novelist on the side, lol.

• Lots of lovely and memorable artwork especially! Sachiko was obviously the devs’ favorite since they drew her so adorably, lol Assassin’s Creed reference?

Negatives.

• Y’all… This felt like an alternate universe rather than an addition to literally everything we’ve ever been introduced to in canon, so I’m just going to treat it as such. I could've avoided this and wouldn’t missed out on anything.

• Also, as interesting as it is, Raven being clairvoyant came out of nowhere, lol There’s no mention, reference, or anything anywhere suggesting this in Dislyte canon, besides the fact that Odin (Norse Mythology) has that ability. I do miss her bike and wolf though, lol The [Player] character gave more Mary Sue isekai’d into the game vibes rather than someone literally not from this world who’s experiencing Grandis and Miracles for the first time. If Markiplier can be canon in the universe but not in a weird way, then they could’ve done something along those lines for him too. Why exactly did Tang Na turn into a “Miramon”? Usually, overdrawing on your powers (could) just kill(s) you like in Gaius’ or Leora’s event. I guess it changed for then humanity/divinity balance. Where’s Discboom? She could’ve been a good lock instead. 😔😔

• What was going on with the writing and pacing? There were lots of typos, weird wording, and kind of a strange flow from chapter to chapter. Maybe localization editing was rushed? Like, I could appreciate trying a new style, but it also felt off-putting a lot of times and not as cohesive or seamless as it could’ve been. The Shackled Collection, the OG story mode, was much better in this regard. And then, there’s…

The ending…

• Honestly, it’s a bit hard to play devil’s advocate with that ending because from the standpoint of a first-time new player, who hasn’t been through Gaius’, Norah’s, or Embla’s event, the OG main story/Shackled Collection, or any other big lore heavy events, it might feel like “whoa, plot twist! That’s interesting!” But it’s still a little lackluster.

As a long time player whose way too DEEP and invested in Dislyte lore, characters, and world building, I was very disappointed.

I mean, he didn’t even have a hinted-at “I want” moment or off-putting conversation with the [Player] to help build it up. All the Anesidora moments literally could’ve been her talking to Embla or Hyde for all I know. I think that I needed better breadcrumbs not because I didn’t see the twist coming, but because it didn't really pay off. As if they chose him to be the villain for the sake of shock value instead of any substance. Why does he want the power? Gaius. Union Hub Director and Researcher Gaius? He was just like, “Good job, Mayor Abigail. Pot, kettle. Yes, I’m bad. AND I want a new world order. 😈😈 What'd you wish for, Sachiko!???” And was anti-climatically blasted away.

The Shadow Decree is more than just “bwahaha evil villainy because evil” kind of people and we’ve seen that several times now so there was a lot to work with. Personally, I’m anti-evil Gaius, but if they wanted to make it a bit more believable, here’s three different scenarios off the top of my head that fits Gaius’ personality and the whole fate theme going on.

1. Desperate Gaius “It’s been more than a decade of fighting and failure and bloodshed. I’m tired of seeing Raven hurt because of her [powers™] and witnessing both the Esper Union and SD fail at achieving what for mere humans and Espers is impossible. But then, I remembered Hannah’s private research from long ago all this time about [insert gate of promotion info to explain how that even cropped up]. And it was all true. Yamato finding [Player], Raven’s vision, and Abigail’s intel confirmed that even further. Hyde, not believing in [insert gate and wish stuff], had tried to counter it with his artificial esper project, but it devolved into something entirely different [insert Sieg]. But I knew if I wanted to prove it, I needed to take measures beyond just the Union’s resources. So, I reached out to Yamato and Hyde and the rest was history. Hannah told me that I could use my powers for good. With the full power of the Starlight’s Miracle Nexus, I can save this world from the havoc and turmoil the Miracles created — by making a new one.”

Or like, 2. Slightly Ominous Positivity™ Derails into Deluded Gaius, “Don’t worry, Raven and [Player]. Just as I trust you, trust me. Even if that was her final premonition, I trust that all will play out according to fate. If fate brought us [Esper Seven] together, if it brought Hannah into my life, then I know that it will lead me to where I need to be to help everyone that I can.” Slowly turns into obsessive, corrupted selfishness as he stresses over of Raven’s prophecy, learning about the Gate of Promotion does through Yamato and the Shadow Decree, corrupted with thoughts of its unlimited potential and what it can do for him; “Can you believe it? Fate brought us to the Starlight Miracle’s Nexus that can grant me the power to do anything. Raven was wrong. This is true destiny [taking all the divine power for himself]. Hannah, give me the strength to best this fate like you did for me to save everyone. I will succeed no matter who’s against me!”

Heck, even a 3. Turned His Back on the Light to Save His Friends Gaius “They’re my friends. Us Seven have been through more than you [Player] can ever imagine. So, when Hyde and Embla came to us [Raven and Gaius] with a truce and told me that we could use this power for actual good for the world... I had to make a decision. One that could change the fate of everything Raven knew, regardless of what she saw, but be our only chance at saving everything. I know Raven would never forgive me after what I did… especially to her… but as the Esper Union Hub Director, I will do anything and sacrifice everything I have to save as many people as I can, even if it means colluding and sinking to the darkest places. Even breaking bread with the dark forces I once knew as my comrades. I promised Hannah that I would help others. You need to understand that the ends will always justify the means.”

Or something like that since we know he can be incredibly selfless/borderline sacrificial when it comes to saving people close to him and up keeping this position. Also, is Leora’s backstory still the same bc I feel like she would’ve already tried to tell everyone about Gaius being a shadow councilor when she defected since she was mentored by Embla, a shadow councilor. They hold annual end of year All-Hands, for crying out loud, lmfaooo Ain’t no way she didn’t know.

I don’t know, y’all. I’m just rambling at this point.

I really needed the seasoning Gaius was missing in his life if they’re going to make him bad. He wasn’t a very compelling bad guy. 🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

Furthermore, it felt like they potentially retrofitted the general Dislyte lore/world building for a lot of stuff?

For me, one of the biggest things was everything around the Gate of Promotion in the Nexus. “The Miracle Nexus, the source of all Miracles,” Mkay, but how did they learn about the Gates? How did Narmer and Cang Ji, dudes who LOVE researching and exploring Miracles, not find it or learn about it years before? It’s been about 10+ years since the whole Miracle-Miramon situation began when the Esper Seven explored Miracle Prime and you’re telling me that supposedly somehow only now Yamato, Gaius, Raven, Abigail and the SD know about the Gates? And if Raven’s premonition gave that info, that still doesn’t explain why everyone else knew about it before then like Xuan Pin, Abigail, and Yamato. And about the lock too. Who gave everyone this knowledge? Like, Did the [Player] character come with a manual that Yamato’s been making leaks of or something, lol? He’s supposed to be a whole ‘Miracle destroyer’ and no one else is interested in that?

All in all, all I can say is that it was a choice and I had fun if I just think of it as an OVA or Isekai AU or something.

Bonus pics bc Hall’s censored for some reason lol AND my bby girl, Jiang Man, is looking cute here.

[spider-man-199999]

Hey, how are you? could you write something with blackcat!reader? maybe they are in college and after a patrol peter manages to follow her and discovers that she lives in a frat next to his. Peter discovers her identity and is surprised that she went to school with him in midtown but doesn't remember him, just spiderman and the relationship they had before the spell.

(does that make sense? I don't know if it does, but whatever you want to do with it is completely fine✨️)

Oh boy, oh boy I love Blackcat x Spider-man as a couple. Me and Felicia are equally obsessed with Spider-man.

Thank you for the request! I really appreciate it and I hope I do well! University is kicking my ass right now.

pairing: college!Peter Parker x Fem!blackcatReader; Post nwh

word count: 3 k

warnings: It's cringe on purpose; drinking

Peter hated the state his life was in. He knew things were better the way they are now, for his safety, for everyone's. But it didn't mean he hated it any less. All his closest friends were at MIT and didn't even remember him. Not as Peter Parker at least. So, he decided it would be best not to go there after all. The idea of trying to get close to them again was giving him a headache. He desperately wanted to do it but he had to stop himself because it was better off this way. That was what he believed, at least.

If people could remember who he was, they would have been very surprised that he ended up being a frat guy in college. He didn't expect to become one either. After all, he thought these things were lame, propaganda from dumb movies or dream-sellings from romance novels. But Peter Parker was a frat guy. There was something about brotherhood that gave him some sense of security and comfort now that a new leaf was turned. It reminded him of the time he spent with the Avengers, in a way. He liked not feeling alone. The months he spent at college made him feel normal to some extent. He actually enjoyed this period of confusion, he could finally relax for a bit and feel normal. Go to a few parties, do his homework. It was nice, but so goddamn boring.

His life seemed so fucked-up, so different. He hadn't been on patrol for months, the thought of Spider-man was just too overwhelming. Plus, he needed to recover from everything he went through both emotionally and physically. He wanted to put the mask on again but whenever he did, he got vivid flashbacks - almost losing MJ, May dying. It would all come back to him, cold sweat running down his back, tears in his eyes. He just couldn't handle being Spider-man. But when he saw Black Cat running around in the streets close to his campus one night, everything changed. 

All of the memories from patrols with the girl in a black suit hit him like a train. She never knew who was behind the mask. And somehow Peter felt like she saw who he really was anyway. The urge to put the costume on was strong now, plus he had added some new upgrades he needed to try out anyway. So, on the most ordinary wednesday night, Peter put on the spider suit again, and jumped out of the window of his bedroom to go on patrol.

He was swinging around the city and it felt like a walk in the park. It seemed like he had forgotten how freeing it could be. Despite all of the negative feelings linked to the red and black suit, he found comfort in it now. The memories were still there, in his mind, and the people he loved were there too. He owed that much to them, to keep their legacy alive, even if they're gone now. With time, he was sure he could heal. Time was all he needed.

Suddenly, his spider-sense tingled, making his head shoot to his left. He was swinging by some old brick buildings around his campus when Black Cat practically tackled him into a wall, wrapping both her arms and legs around his torso. He turned his back to take the hit for both of them, wrapping one arm around her waist for support. Sidey used the other hand to continue swinging both of them around the city.

"SPIDER!" she said, hugging him tightly. "Mi amor, I hate you, where have you been?"

"Looking for trouble, as usual." he said with a laugh. Peter actually enjoyed her warm embrace for once.

He never had anything against the girl, her excessive flirting and implications that she was in love with him could get a bit out of hand sometimes, but he found it charming. Plus, before he was dating someone else and he couldn't really pay her the attention she craved from him. He actually missed that more than he had previously realised.

"You still have a girlfriend?" She asked, her head rested on his collarbone for a while.

Peter landed both of them on a rooftop, letting her step on her own as her limbs untangled from his torso. She placed her hands on her hips, foot tapping on the ground while she waited for his answer.

"Actually, no. I don't."

Her eyes sparkled with his words, throwing herself at him again. Her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Oh, Spider! I'm so happy! And sorry, obviously, why did you two end it?"

Peter usually would reject the affection she offered, but now he needed it more than anything. She was the closest thing to a friend he had left. They finally let go and he still wasn't talking. She tought the break-up was probably still fresh.

"Okay, Spider. Patrols haven't been the same without you, I missed you." she told him, her hand resting against his cheek.

Oh how she wanted to kiss him, like usual. He used to jump and run whenever she touched him, in fear that it would somehow affect his relationship with MJ. But now he didn't. He let her touch his face, smiling softly behind the mask. Even if everything was fucked up, even if everything was different for him now, she just wasn't. She was the only thing that remained like a token from his past life. The Black Cat was the only thing he had left.

---

By the end of their patrol both of them felt really beat up. Fighting crime was not an easy job, especially when your opponents were skilled. No major super-villains were threatening New York right now, but there still were bad guys to fight.

Spider-man and Black Cat were sitting on the edge of a rooftop, swinging their legs as they took a moment to breathe. Cat had a few scratches here and there and Spider-man was probably bruised under the mask as well.

"Spider, this was so much better with you here!" She exclaimed.

The wind blew her hair gently to the side while she looked down on New York. Peter turned his head to look at her, her face showered in the sparkling city lights. He thought about how pretty she actually was, but he never had the chance to notice that before. Maybe it really was the comfort that she gave him that was making his heart beat faster while he stared at the scene. She looked like a Van Gogh painting - vibrant, breathtaking, gently touched by the warm light.

"Yeah." He replied, making her look at him in return.

"You were totally falling in love with me right now, weren't you?" she said with a giggle.

"What? No, no, no, no." he shook his hands in defence, denying her accusation.

She stood up, looking somewhere ahead of her.

"I would love to stay and let you fall deeper in love with me, but I have to run, early morning tomorrow." And with that she left.

Peter lay down on the rooftop for a little while, overthinking her words. Was he actually falling in love with her? Maybe... He didn't want to jump to conclusions, he didn't want to make her a rebound after MJ either. It was starting to mess with him, just as he found some serenity. It was like he couldn't have a single moment of peace in this costume. After a good 15 minutes, Peter decided it was time to swing back to the house, just like Black Cat, he had classes early in the morning.

He had almost reached his place when a familiar figure caught his attention. He stopped, sticking to a wall just to make sure. It was Black Cat, and she was on campus. His campus. Well this was getting a bit too interesting to pass up. He crawled and jumped around the buildings to follow her, stopping when she did. He climbed up a wall to a house next to where the cat stopped, peeking just enough to see clearly what was going on. The Black Cat took her mask off, placing it in a gym bag that was hidden next to the back door. His mouth flew open when he realized he finally knew who she was. Not only was she someone on campus, living a sorority right next to his frat house, but he also knew her personally. Peter hid behind the wall completely, trying to process the information. It was you, the girl that he went to high school with, the girl that took AP history with him. It took him a few seconds, but when he looked again, you were already gone. A room in the house light up soon after, and he started feeling guilty for what he did. He would have hated it if someone did this to him.

"Good going, Spyder-man!" he cussed at himself, finally going home for the night.

He tried not to make things awkward with you for the next few weeks, but oh gosh was he terrible at that. The two of you were never close, the fact that you came from the same school never really meant anything to the either of you. But now that Peter knew your secret identity, it meant everything to him. It felt like he had found a long lost friend in you. He tried to get closer, talk to you more whenever he saw you, even invite you to the latest frat party. If he knew one thing about Black Cat, she loved having fun. And what better occasion to have fun than an actual frat party, at a frat house.

Of course, you agreed. What was one night away from the crime scenes? You deserved that, plus, Spider-man got you covered, right? Nothing could really go wrong, you literally needed seconds to get into the suit and go if you had to. You did find Peter Parker's new attitude towards you a bit peculiar, but it was cute nonetheless. You were only really interested in Spider-man, but you loved attention no matter who was giving it. Outside of the costume, you still had this care-free, very self-assured personality but a little toned down. It wasn't always easy to be the one to fight the battles for yourself all of the time. And you had to do it, every single day. Maybe there was a reason why you liked Spider-man so much, you two felt like a team, like it wasn't just you alone against the world for a change.

----

The time of the party came quicker than you thought. Your "sisters" were already pulling you by the hand out of your room. In true Black Cat spirit, you just had to wear a tight black dress with a slit on the side. And a choker around your neck. It was only normal to make heads turn when you walked in the frat house. Your sorority wasn't one that liked partying all of the time, but when you did party, things just got crazy.

"Y/N!" you heard, turning your head to see an unfamiliar boy.

He shoved a cup in your hand.

"Peter is in the backyard, wanted me to take you to him when you got here."

"Yeah, cute, but that's not gonna happen." You winked at the boy and walked off to mingle somewhere else.

You actually really wanted to dance with your girls tonight. And you did just that, a full cup in your hand the whole time. At some point you couldn't really remember how much you drank, there were some shots involved. You were having so much fun, even dancing on top of a table. A hand grabbed your arm suddenly making you look, it was the guy from earlier tonight, you got off the table with a jump so you could talk. You were obviously annoyed by his interruption, crossing your arms in front of your chest. He scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Look, I'm so sorry to bother you, but it's been 2 hours and Peter was asking me about you-"

"I don't care." you interrupted him, turning around with the intention of leaving him there. He placed a hand on your shoulder to stop you.

"Please, I've been lying to him for two hours, I'll be in so much trouble."

You looked at him over your shoulder, gently removing it with your hand.

"If Parker wants to see me so bad, he should come get me." You winked at him and left.

Dancing on top of tables didn't seem so fun now, and your head was feeling pretty light from all of the alcohol. You overheard some girls from your house mention a pool and you immediately walked over to them, placing your arms on the shoulders of each one of them, standing between them.

"Did I hear pool?" the three of you giggled after the question.

----

Your dress was wet, along with your hair and pretty much everything else on your body. Yes, the three of you really did jump in the pool, which caused a chain reaction of other people jumping in as well. Soon the party had drunk, wet people, running around everywhere. Cats rarely liked water and you were no exception. You didn't mind it as much as long as you weren't in the costume. So, after swimming for a little bit you got out, squeezing out some water from the hem of your dress when you felt something cover your shoulders. You turned around, your eyes meeting Peter's, who had placed a towel on you and smiled. You squinted your eyes at him, letting go of the dress and standing up straight to look at him.

"It's cold." he said

"Yeah, thanks?"

It was so sweet of him to be so considerate, it made you feel very weird things, but maybe it was the alcohol. Peter put his hands in his pockets, rocking back and forth on his heels nervously.

"So..." he started "How's it going?"

"Are you usually this awkward or...?"

''Yeah, kinda"

"So it's not my stunning beauty, just you?"

"No, well I mean, your beauty does make it a lot worse for me, but no."

You laughed, drying your hair off with the towel.

"If I didn't know any better, I would assume you were crushing on me." you said, giving him back his towel.

"No, what? What gave you that impression?"

"Doesn't matter, I'm in love with someone else."

"Wait, who?" he asked, trying to act confused.

You turned your back to him, trying to hide the blush you had on.

"Well, I don't really... know yet." you said, already taking off so you could hide from him.

-----

It was kind of embarrassing to admit that you were in love with someone you didn't really know. It's not like you didn't know Spider-man, you just didn't know who the person behind the mask was. But truthfully, you never felt a need to do that. You were content with the teammate you had, the person who was there to watch your back. You were in love with the person who would put himself in harm's way to save others, the person who always seemed to know what to say. He was so brave and dedicated to his mission, his heart was pure. Sure, you used to be curious about his identity in the beginning but with time it just stopped mattering. There was something bigger, something greater about your love for him because of this.

And you couldn't help but feel conflicted when you started feeling the same things towards Peter Parker. He definitely wasn't the first guy to express an interest in you, or be consistent with said interest but there was something about him that just made you feel warm inside. Maybe it was his nerdiness and how smart he was, or it was the way he would smile whenever he saw you. How he would try so hard to find something to talk about with you and how he would research any topic you would mention. He was so overly-sweet and protective that it brought out a soft side of you, one you didn't really know you had before that.

So, meeting Spider-man and Peter was becoming increasingly difficult for you. It got to the point where you would avoid Spider-man on patrol so you could spare yourself some emotional damage. It didn't take him long to figure you out though.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on finally?" Spider-man asked you one night after probably the worst patrol the two of you ever had. You were so distracted the whole time that the two of you took quite the beating. His costume was torn and so was yours, wounds and bruises everywhere.

"I really don't know." you said, pressing your back against a brick wall in the alleyway the two of you hid. You slid down the wall, sitting on the ground and hugging your knees.

Spider-man sat down next to you, pressing his head to the wall and looking up at the metal fire-escape that the two of you were sitting under.

"Something from your personal life?"

"Well, I'm not so sure."

"How can you not be sure?"

"You know I have this undying love for you, right."

He laughed, turning his head to look at you.

"I know."

"Well, I might have it for someone else too."

"Someone else?"

"Yeah, he's... well he's not as great as you are, not even close, but he has this nerdy charm about him."

You turned to him, cupping his cheek with your hands while you looked at the mask. You leaned in, placing a soft kiss where his lips were supposed to be.

"You're still my greatest, biggest love, Spider."

He looked at you for a while, his hand hesitantly pulling his mask up enough to uncover his lips before he pulled you in for a real kiss. It was a sweet, warm kiss, your lips moving together while your hands were holding onto each other. It was a kiss that the two of you had anticipated to share for so long, dreaming and imagining how it would go. And it went even better.

[notexactlyrocketscience]

Love, Theoretically by Ali Hazelwood: a critically kind review from a femme acespec physicist <3

> scroll to the next section for my review on the physics academia content in this book!

First, a quick romance novel review!

spoiler: it wasn’t my favorite but I gave it a ⭐️⭐️⭐️.75 because being a writer has made me a generally more appreciative reader + I am so starved of woman in physics rep.

the good

It just felt good to read about a woman physicist, who are still incredibly underrepresented in fiction, especially as protagonists. (I’ll go off about that in a minute.)

The romance is so swoony with shoujo manga vibes, I haven’t read straight M/F adult romance novels in a while and I just loved the flutteriness of it.

A couple of chapters were so soft with excellent pillowtalk. There was something about the ambience of the snow, the hypnotic sadness of failure, the prescence of a comforting person.

I enjoyed identifying the relatable parts about physics academia. Hazelwood clearly did a lot of research, and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. It definitely kept me reading!

the bad

The academia issues are so over-simplified it’s almost juvenile. For an adult novel, even one marketed as a romcom, I expect more nuance, more explanations, more explicit lingering in tight positions.

And then the romance tries to be complex (and has a lot of potential!) but not a lot of conflict really happens.

A fictional physics fued between theorists and experimentalists is a really fun (and actually not far off) concept, but I would have expected some things to be the other way around. (More on that later!)

Okay this is personal but the main couple both have terrible taste in movies. Twilight vs white male rage movies??? There is no lesser evil here

Elsie’s hardships aren’t put in a very serious light. Her diabetes and lack of access to health insurance is used as a plot device to engineer romantic momentum between the characters and/or comic relief.

Just overall, the book tried so hard to remain “light” that I think it fails to garner depth. Because adult lives really aren’t that light all the time, and a book can bring relaxation and joy whilst including real worldly negative experiences.

There were aroace and sapphic side characters, but I wanted so bad for Elsie to be demisexual. It's set up so perfectly only for it to be averted—As a demisexual person myself, Elsie’s feelings about attraction felt acutely familiar to me, and every other reader I've spoken to has agreed that the book took a dissapointing and unexpected turn. I understand Hazelwood may not feel equipped to write queer protagonists but if I were her editor, I would have flagged that and recommended she make it canon. It would have added so much more context and dimension to Elsie, and would’ve put hetero demisexuals on the map. </3

Following up on the above: The smut tries so hard to be meaningful but it ... really is icky, stereotypical, unrealistic allocishetero stuff. Think: the shy inexperienced girl vs the man who knows exactly how to advise her. The characters try to subvert the trope by calling it out, but it feels performative because all is forgotten in the next second. The PiV sex is weirdly conventionally idealistic considering the pairing’s size difference. I’m picky about smut but also forgiving when I do like the dynamic. I just didn’t here.

Following up once again: I was ready to ignore all the repetitive comments about how sexy Jack’s height and muscles were, because sure, I guess Elsie has a type. But the sex scenes solidified the redundancy of it all. I've read this same dynamic in countless smutty heteronormative M/F paperbacks. And I have also been made aware by every Hazelwood reader that all her books focus on this kind of physical build pairing. I just want more diversity, you know?

IDK, I just wanted more physics in here than complaining about teaching, glossed over toxic mentors, and using some quirky physics term in every other sentence. (More on that below!)

I just wanted ... more? It’s not an extremely short novel, but both the plot and the character development fell flat. The ups and downs were too fast and easy, and the placement felt off. I finished the book and wondered, “That’s it? That’s all that happened?” It just wasn’t fulfilling. The side characters aren't expanded upon, and don’t get enough pagetime. My other romance reads this year were Bellefleur's The Fiancee Farce and Mcquiston’s One Last Stop. In both of those novels, the drama was fleshed out with so much care and detail. In comparison, Love, Theoretically may mention similar social difficulties in passing, but failed to really, really show us.

Overall ... the novel was fun for being about physicists but I really don’t see myself picking up another Hazelwood book, especially considering this isn’t even a debut novel. The conventional white steminist vibe and the particular allocishetero M/F dynamic just isn’t my thing.

But perhaps a reader wanting more of a novel and its characters is a good problem to have. Never say never, I guess! I look forward to keeping tabs on what Hazelwood publishes in the future!

Now, onto the physics!

First, most physicists, as good scientists, understand that theory and experimentation are fundamentally linked. It’s true that we each are often biased towards our own methods of research, but it is quite a stretch to imagine full professors so blatantly feud against others solely because of theory vs experimentation. Regardless, I was happy to suspend my disbelief for the sake of the plot that was framed in a genre-specific, lighthearted, humorous way.

Secondly, both theory and experimentation have sources of funding that are motivated in different ways, and Hazelwood's decision to have the theorists struggle with funding cuts due to declining interest in pop culture/the general public is actually quite credible. Experimentation garners a lot more interest from the application and engineering end of society, parts that are easily fueled by capitalism.

However, I think experimentalists in general are far less likely to be mean to theorists than the reverse scenario. Dr Fatima Abdurrahman has a great video essay about that called on her YouTube channel called “Quantum Physics, Feminism, and Objective Reality: What Physicists Don’t Want You to Know About Quantum Mechanics.” Dr Fatima outlines how old white men in physics have maintained this image of unwavering scientific objectivity in the name of rigor, despite studying a field that fundamentally is barely fathomable for humans. In simpler terms: Men, even in theory, pretend to be better, smarter, and more valid as physicists despite being in an infamously iffy field. And I would have liked to see that represented. It was just really hard for me to buy narcissistic grad students mansplaining Elsie about her field, and Elsie’s righteous feminine rage, when the field in question is … physics theory? It just didn’t make sense to me, when all of my personal experiences point to the opposite.

But every cloud has a silver lining, and having a woman theorist in a physics field that’s less popsci-oriented is actually … really cool. And having her love interest be a man in experimentation … sort of subverts gender roles and conventional media expectations.

Let me explain. The reality is that when women are represented in STEM, media prefers to put them in biology, like a nurse to a doctor, a people-oriented nurturer, a mere sidekick to the real “objective” scientist—often a mathematician or an astrophysicist who is always a man. And when women are placed in physics, they are automatically assigned to observational astronomy, which is dismissed as passive and easy. (This is wildly untrue—though styles of research in astronomy has interestingly allowed a somewhat more diverse array of researchers in history. Even today, you’ll see a higher frequency of women and queer people in every astronomy department.)

I think my ideal version of this novel would be retaining Elsie in theory, while also making theorists the overall bad guys in the feud. I would love to have her talk about the unique sexism she faces as a theorist. I would kill for a scene in which Jack gets gobsmacked by how fucking good at math she really is, compared to him (instead of, like, only making fun of it like it’s easy). I would love to read about her getting a tour of his lab, and just more physics content. But maybe I’m the only one saying that, because I’m a physicist. Maybe Hazelwood simplified it all to keep the book appealing to the general masses.

Still, it all read more like a girlpower!!! chant rather than a real commitment to represent a woman in STEM. I savored every moment Elsie or George would go off about physics. I loved Elsie’s conversations with Olive, a different STEM academic. (Monica was more complicated and actually quite interesting, and I wish we could have seen more of her. Heck, I wish we had actually been given any tangible info about Jack’s mom, even.) But I genuinely felt these instances were rare. Elsie referred to being a physicist a lot (and frankly, her mind is more physics-y than any IRL physicist considering the sheer number of physics-inspired figures of speech she uses … but I excused that as silly comic relief, a quirk in Hazelwood’s writing style). But she didn’t tangibly do physics on page. It was disappointing, considering women characters in STEM is what Hazelwood is known for.

And there are physicists who love teaching—even physicists who solely want to teach. Physicists who do pedagogy research. I know the book was mainly trying to criticise the adjunctification and dismissal of physics higher education, and it’s actually quite accurate in representing that most physicists in academia would prefer not to teach. But the excecution also ends up erasing physicists who aren’t in academia just for research. And I say this especially because the validity of teaching physicists as physicists is dismissed in real life. It’s used as justification to further force all physics academics to try to juggle between both research and teaching, whether they want to or not.

Which leads us to bad mentors. I’ve had a bunch of those. As Olive pointed out in an excellent quote, “Academia is so hierarchical, you know? There are all these people who have power over you, who are supposed to guide you and help you become the best possible scientist, but . . . sometimes they don’t know what’s best. Sometimes they don’t care. Sometimes they have their own agenda. […] Sometimes they’re total shitbuckets who deserve to step on a pitchfork and die.” And the thing is, the novel really doesn’t show us any of that (perhaps other than in Monica). We don’t fully get to know what happened to Jack’s mom, or Olive. We are not shown what Dr L’s agenda really was. Their final confrontation was so quick, when in reality shitty mentors are often sticky and entwined with your work, hard to cut off and scarier to talk back to even after you’ve finally realized they’re toxic.

Which isn’t to say the novel is just inadequate about everything. It’s correct in how goofy physics faculty are, and how white man-dominated the field is, how students try to mansplain women profs, how theorists madly work on their computers (as an experimentalist, I could never understand), how publishing is finicky (to put it kindly), and how tenured faculty fail to understand the reality of the job market in academia today. There are certain parts (like the quote above!) where I felt incredibly seen as part of a minoritized identity group in STEM academia. It’s rare to have a book written from this PoV, and as a first I think this novel will always be special for me!

If you’re interested in reading about more fictional women physicists, I would highly recommend skimming through this list I made on GoodReads (and feel free to add more!).

And if you’d like to support memoirs and science communication books by IRL women physicists, then look to further than this other list I’ve also made. (We’re actually currently seeing a boom in these which is inanely exciting to me, so again, contributions are always welcome!)

[variousqueerthings]

i think in many ways it's harder for me to write about rose than any other companion of the show. with martha-detractors I simply go "be on your way, you are incorrect" (same with donna, but with less judgement), and I think that while I do have my niggling things about amy and clara, from what I've seen, the discussions around them (in these here parts of the interweb) are reeeelatively chill? or at least, if I've had positives or negatives to bring up about some of the writing, I think people tend to stay in their space of what does or doesn't work for them about these characters, whether or not they agree with what I'm saying (I think, same for river song)

this not to say that there isn't presumably drama out there, but I don't really care to seek it out, and so far I haven't seemed to invite it

with rose, my favourite companion because she was my first doctor who companion and I have such warm memories of her as a character type I looked up to, I'm kind of very affectionate of how I read her, and it's very based in feeling like her ending removes a lot of her agency

and I think she gets put so much into a box because of that ending, that trying to complicate that box makes people's hackles rise, even if you're not... saying anything bad about her? because you're a fan of her character? I don't think I've ever said anything to the contrary? specifically amatonormative box-wise, and I even read rose as an alloromantic character most of the time (unless I'm having fun going even further on complicating that, which I should do more often honestly)

people who don't like the idea of rose and doctor as romantic endgame get annoyed that they have to think about her at all, and it seems those people frequently put her low/lowest on their companion rankings because of the amatonormative read they have of the arc that they also don't like, and that is all she is as character to them in the end, which is such a shame

and people who do like the idea of rose and specifically tentoo as romantic endgame get annoyed because... well, I don't like it much? and I read rose and the doctor's relationship differently to something so straightforward? and I like challenging the ending that she's given that to me is very open and seemingly under-explored

in the end it's a shame that she's not "allowed" to have her narrative complicated in read, without inviting annoyed responses. and I don't technically care, it's whatever the character-read version of kink tomato is, you do you and if someone's taking that personally, that's whatever, that's the kind of shit that happens in fandom sometimes right? block and move on

but it does make her harder to write about, on the whole, knowing that she's not a character that's so open to interpretation in a lot of peoples minds, because it starts and stops with the romance. makes me think I should go harder on why I don't read that so simply, not to be spiteful, but just because there's not a lot of people from the looks of things who are fans of rose, but don't read a straightforward alloromantic narrative in her relationship with the doctor or with tentoo, so I do feel like I'm mooostly writing to the void (appreciated your comment a lot @figgyblossom and everyone who does engage with rose-posts that read her differently)

just uh... don't take this so seriously. I'm a rose fan, I wouldn't be writing about her so much if I wasn't

[kitabread]

-> arrow one: Radio Romance

Genre: Fluff, maybe angst?, happy ending but getting there takes a while lol

Pairing: Atsumu Miya of Haikyuu x Black female OC

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: Misunderstanding, profanity, a tad bit suggestive at the end, quite a bit of italicized font, in case that is an issue for anyone

a/n: it's been quite a while since I've written (for a number of reasons) but I hope everyone enjoys !

"From the moment I saw her I knew this one was worth the broken heart." ― Atticus

“Come on, Hima. Surely you must be into somebody on the team!”

“Negative. Nobody wants to deal with guys that can’t take anything but volleyball seriously, anyway. Why would I want to deal with that?”

Those words rang through Atsumu’s head like a siren as he watched the owner of the voice pass by, her laugh disrupting the flow of the busy hallway in the best way possible. He watched as her primly pressed hair cascaded down her back in layers, brushing up against the backpack that hung off her shoulder.

In all honesty, Atsumu didn’t quite notice Himari at first. She kept to herself in class, and they didn’t have any mutual friends so run-ins were scarce. He just didn’t have the opportunity to truly see her, until…

The sun was high in the sky, and the four walls of the gym did very little to keep the heat at bay. The match had already started by the time the girls got there, with the second set in full swing as they managed to find just enough seats for their group of four.

‘Coming through, sorry!” The girls recited like a mantra until they made it to their destination.

“This all could’ve been avoided if Himari would’ve just accepted to come in the first place.” Satomi chimed in, avoiding the glare the other girl shot her way.

“You guys could’ve come without me.” She pouted, slumping down in her seat.

“No, we agreed this would be a GROUP outing. No one left behind.”

“Why did we even have to come at all? None of y’all are into sports.”

“I may not be into sports, but I’m into him.” Satomi nodded towards the curly-headed #15.

“Kiyoomi? I should’ve known. He never talks, and that’s exactly your type.” Himari said, laughing when all she received was a smirk in response.

“What about you, Himari? Who's your type on the team?” Sakura asked.

“Don’t have one.” Himari shot her down immediately.

“I can see you with Shugo, Hima!” Satomi enthused.

“You girls are impossible. I shouldn’t have come.” Himari sighed, standing up to leave. This was a waste of her time after all.

“Hey dumbass, duck before you get hit!” Someone shouted. Himari turned to see a ball flying her way. Her fight or flight failed her, and their less popular sister ‘freeze’ presented herself at what had to be the worst time possible. She closed her eyes, awaiting the object’s brash introduction to her face.

Yet, it never came.

Instead, she heard cheers all around her. When Himari opened her eyes, she came face to face with a man much taller than her holding a ball and donning a dazzling smile.

“You okay?” He asked, his bleach blonde hair drenched in sweat.

Himari nodded frantically, unable to do anything but sit back down.

The game quickly resumed, but the swift movements on the court did very little to slow the thumping of Himari’s heart.

They stayed until the ball rolled off the court and into the team manager’s hands. The girls kept in close proximity to each other as the whole gym attempted to shuffle through the double doors.

“Sooo…Hima…” 

Himari sighed. Nothing good ever came when Satomi used that tone of voice. “Yes, Satomi.” She replied flatly.

“I saw that smile Atsumu gave you. What do you think?”

Atsumu. So that was his name.

“I’m appreciative of him catching the ball before I lost my face.That’s it.”

Satomi groaned. “Seriously? Not even a little interested? He was totally checking you out! You guys would be so cute together! Star volleyball player and academic prodigy!” She said dreamily. “Even if it isn’t Atsumu, maybe somebody else? “Come on, Hima. Surely you must be into somebody on the team!”

Knowing she couldn’t get herself out of this conversation any other way, Himari said:

“Negative. Nobody wants to deal with guys that can’t take anything but volleyball seriously, anyway. Why would I want to deal with that?”

Ever since that day, Atsumu kept his distance despite his feelings. After all, pining after a girl that saw athletes as a waste of time surely wouldn’t end well for him, right? Yet, the young setter just couldn’t shake how he felt. He observed her on her way to class, greeting professors in the hallways. He noticed how she took the time after class to help others with the material. He even ran into her occasionally feeding the stray dogs in town. Surely someone like that couldn’t possibly dislike sports players for such a futile reason…?

But that’s what she said.

His stupid brain reminded him every time his eyes lingered. Every time he found himself laughing at the jokes she’d tell her friends right before class began. Every time she wore that one skirt to class that flowed just a little too fluidly when she twirled around-

“Athlete. Not her type. Right.” Atsumu mumbled to himself, snapping out of his thoughts.

He walked the halls, nearly walking past a group of students putting up a large sign near the entrance.

Don’t Kiss, Just Tell! Do you have someone you’ve always wanted to confess to, but just couldn’t bring yourself to? Let it all out in a radio message! Tell them everything you like about them, and leave nothing out. Calls are accepted both identified or anonymous. Will you be brave enough to proudly profess your love? Who knows, you might just land yourself a Valentine… Courtesy of the A/V Club

Atsumu read the number and date at the bottom of the poster. The event was two days from now.

“Thinking of finally manning up and confessing to your genius girlfriend?” A familiar voice said behind him.

Atsumu rolled his eyes and turned around to face his gray-haired brother. “Fuck off. I was just reading it.”

“It might work if you ask me. You’re so obvious she’ll realize it’s you even if you stay anonymous, she’ll marry you out of pity and your future kids will have a fighting chance at being smarter than you.” Osamu listed off his reasons only to barely dodge the punch Atsumu sent his way.

“Sheesh, tough crowd.”

Atsumu laid in bed that Friday night, twirling his phone idly. It was radio show night, and “Don’t Kiss, Just Tell!” was in full swing. There were multiple, rather public displays of affection, including some loser from the soccer team practically objectifying some poor girl, insisting he wanted to “see them tiddies.” That one nearly made Atsumu cut the broadcast off altogether. He wouldn’t blame Himari for hating someone like that.

The small device in his hand buzzed, his brother’s name appearing on the screen.

Samu: haven’t heard you profess your love yet, Romeo

Atsumu rolled his eyes, of course Osamu was tuned in while working at his on-campus stall and anticipating his contribution.

Atsumu: don’t you have customers to attend to?

O: it’s this pretty little thing called multitasking. Call the show! Unless you want someone else to call about her.

The boy sighed, sitting up. He definitely didn’t want that. But what was he going to say? What if he sounded stupid? Atsumu wondered if Himari was even listening.

No. It didn’t matter if she was listening. There was the option to be anonymous, so he could just call in, get these feelings off his chest, and move on from the one-sidedness of whatever this was.

Atsumu’s fingers tapped his phone screen in quick succession before his brain could catch up and potentially stop them.

“Wooo! Everyone settle down and listen up because we have another caller!” Fuck.

“Caller, either state your name or speak your mind! Either way, no judgment here. Just say what feels right!”

Atsumu didn’t give his brain time to second guess itself OR time to think of what to say.

“Well, I’m not sure what to say, but I guess I can start at the beginning. The first time I ever noticed this person was in the middle of a match. I was frustrated as the odds weren’t in the team’s favor at the moment. I was close to losing it until I saw you. It was the first time I’d smiled since the game started,” He rambled, trying his best to keep any specific details out. “Ever since that day, I can’t get you out of my mind. You walk through the halls, laughing with your friends and you’re the only person I see. Your laugh is quickly becoming my favorite song. Professors announce the highest marks on recent tests and your name is called every time. Of course it is, you’re so smart. With that level of intelligence, I wouldn’t even blame you for being stuck up or presumptuous, but you’re not. You take time out of your day to help people that are confused and you’re so patient. I even see you tending to the stray dogs in the area, and it warms my heart how sweet you are.” Atsumu sighed. He was sure people were sick of him, but it felt impossible to stop once he opened the floodgates. “I’ve longed to get to know you for months, but I doubt you’d ever like me back. So, I just wanted to speak on my feelings so I can move on.”

“Excuse me, but if I can just interject.” The host spoke up. “Are you sure you don’t want to identify yourself? This is the most genuine confession we’ve heard all night!”

“Uhh, yeah. I’m good, man. I’d love to treat her the way she deserves, but I don’t think she’d go for a guy like me.”

“Do you at least want to say your crush’s name? They should at least know they’ve made someone feel this way.”

Atsumu hesitated. He hadn’t thought about revealing who Himari was. Should he? It’s not like she’d figure out who it was regardless.

No. Himari is a pretty reserved person. She wouldn’t like her name attached to such a public announcement. She barely enjoyed the praise in class. Also, wouldn’t naming her make it seem like Atsumu wants to seduce her? His intention was purely to get it off his chest.

“Are you still there?” the host asked, yanking the blond-haired man out of his internal dilemma.

Without responding, Atsumu lowered the phone from his face, hitting the red button.

“That’s the end of that.” He mumbled.

 Buzz.

Buzz.

Himari tossed and turned in bed, sighing deeply. Her phone had been going off for the past hour, and she’d been waiting patiently for it to die down so she could go back to sleep because who could possibly be bothering her at 9 AM on a Saturday?

The buzzing subsided for a while, and Himari thought she was in the clear. Until she heard her ringtone, that is.

She slammed her pillow on her head, screaming into the muffled void.

She checked the screen. “Satomi, what do you want?”

“Come open the door.”

Himari shot up from the bed. “There’s no way you’re at my house right now.”

The banging on the front door was confirmation enough. Trudging out of bed, she swung it open to reveal her two best friends on the other side.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“You weren’t answering the phone.” Satomi brushed past her, making a beeline for the living room.

“That’s because if you’re having an emergency, you need to call the police.” Himari fell back on the sofa, closing her eyes.

“It’s not that kind of emergency, Hima. Did you listen to the A/V club’s episode last night?” Sakura asked.

“You know I don’t listen to that mess.”

“That means you missed your love confession, then.” Satomi mused.

“My what?”

“Allegedly, Satomi.” Sakura side eyed the younger girl. “Hima, listen to the recording. We really think this could be about you.”

Himari watched as her friends pressed play.

“The first time I ever noticed this person was in the middle of a match.”

“Professors announce the highest marks on recent tests and your name is called every time.”

“You take time out of your day to help people that are confused and you’re so patient.”

“How do you know it’s about me? He never said a name. He didn’t even say his own!”

“But,” Satomi raised her finger in the air, “He did say the first time he saw her was during a match where he was losing. Our team has either been losing or lost at all the matches you’ve been to.” She pauses. “Hmm, on second thought, maybe you’re the problem.”

Himari ignored Satomi’s sly remark. “Lots of girls are there…”

“But most girls that are there, Sakura and I included, have been there before. It sounds like this guy’s first encounter with the girl was recent, so of all of us, who could that be? The girl that just recently started going to matches or girls he sees on the regular?” Satomi raised an eyebrow and nodded toward her friend. 

“So,” She started, choosing her words carefully, “If the confession’s about me…now what?”

She sighed as she saw smiles spread across her friends’ faces. “Oh my gosh…” Sakura leaned forward, her chin resting in her hand.

“I knew it!” Satomi shot up from her seat. “I knew you liked someone on the team! You couldn’t peel your eyes away from the court that day! I even tried to get you to admit it but you spewed some nonsense about not wanting to deal with any athletes. But then you kept going to matches with us! Why would you come if there’s no benefit? Who is it? Tell us!”

Sakura yanked Satomi back down on the couch, giving her a look when she complained. “Do you like someone on the team, Hima?” She asked.

Himari fidgeted in her seat, thinking back to the first time she saw Atsumu. The way he swooped in and caught the ball so effortlessly, tossed it to his spiky-haired teammate, and then turned to her with the brightest smile before asking if she was okay. Himari was even sure he was glowing. How the heck do you even glow midway into a volleyball match?

But that was just it. The Atsumu she knew was a star player. He was outgoing, brash, and a jokester. Surely, he’d never sound like the dejected caller from last night that sounded so unsure of themselves, right?

“I do, but I don’t think this is him.”

“Huh? Are you sure?” Satomi asked, pouting when Hima nodded, “I was hoping for a perfect love story. Two people crushing on each other coming together for a whirlwind romance!” She exclaimed.

“Well, why don’t we try tracking down who it is? Even if it isn’t the guy you like, maybe you’ll gain a friend? Something more?” Sakura asked.

Already feeling like her friends aren’t going to let this go, she shrugged and looked up at them:

“How do we do that?”

“Thanks, Atsumu!”

The blond smiled, waving the customer off before sitting on the small stool for a break. Osamu had run off to see some girl, leaving his twin in charge of his on-campus food stall.

Must be nice, Atsumu thought.

The past week had been…interesting, to say the least. Atsumu had to endure his teammates’ pestering as well as his brother’s teasing from his confession. The whole team wanted to know who had stolen the star setter’s heart. Atsumu didn’t entertain the conversation (He did, however, make Bokuto promise to not say anything when he guessed correctly as to who it was.)

All Atsumu wanted to do was head home and wallow study, but here he was selling onigiris while his brother was off falling in love somewhere. He sighed, resting his head on his arm atop of the counter.

“Just go ask, Hima.”

Atsumu’s ears perked up. That sounded like Himari’s best friend, which means…

He peeked out the corner of his eye, and there she was. Dressed in a hot pink crop top that revealed her melanin-kissed midriff, light blue jeans and white sneakers, her high ponytail swayed back and forth as she approached Kaito, a guy Atsumu recognized from his Psychology class.

“Hi! Kaito, right? This might seem really awkward but it’s about the radio episode from last week…”

Atsumu watched as Himari mentioned his confession to another guy, asking if it was from him. So she had heard it. Atsumu was conflicted on if he should feel happy that she heard it, or sad that she hadn’t figured out it was him. Did she really think Kaito was the type of guy to pour his heart out like that? Did she like Kaito? Had she spoken to any of the other guys? Why hadn’t she come to ask him yet?

He pulled the hat further down onto his head, covering his eyes. As much as he wanted to go over there and admit it was him, he already made up his mind that he would let it go. How could he be so sure her reaction would be positive? For all he knew, she was probably prepared to tell Kaito off. Maybe it was for the best that she hadn’t suspected him. He watched her walk back to her friends and leave the area before calling Osamu:

“Get back here before I close your stall for the day, I’m going home.”

Himari rubbed her temples as she shut off the radio show. She spent the past two weeks talking to more classmates than she ever had since orientation. She was met with many confused expressions from students either wondering why she thought it was them or why she was sure this person was talking about her. In the end, she resorted to listening to the radio special in hopes that the confessor would change his mind and call back to either reveal who he was, who he admired, or in an ideal situation: both.

Of course, this was to no avail. All she heard was call after call of people using cheesy pick-up lines and practically begging to not spend tomorrow alone. Himari walked over to her front door, slipping her sneakers on for a quick walk to the convenience store. Maybe some fresh air would calm her thoughts.

She zipped up her coat as she turned the corner, watching how the snow settled on the treetops and glittered on the roofs of the cars.

I wonder how the dogs are holding up, she wondered. She made a mental note to stop by on her way back. The bell rang as she stepped through the threshold, signaling her arrival. She waved at the cashier as she headed to the fridge, grabbing a few drinks and some ice cream to eat at home. Noticing the dog food on sale, she grabbed a few to take with her.

“Nice to see you again, Hima!” The cashier smiled, scanning her items. “Heading to see the dogs today?”

“Yep! Just for a bit. I wanna see how they’re doing in the snow.”

“Oh! Take this with you. They can use this.” She turned to a small cubby area, procuring a fluffy, gray blanket. “I don’t use it much so don’t worry about it. It’ll keep them warm.” She handed the blanket over along with Himari’s purchases and receipt.

“This is amazing, they’re going to love this. Thank you so much!”

“Don’t mention it, see you next time!”

The snow had let up a bit, but Himari still made haste to the small alleyway where she usually found the dogs. She walked in, but instead of hearing the usual barks and pitter patter of paws heading towards her from them, she saw open, half-eaten tins of food. She saw the wagging tails of the dogs who were facing away from here.

And she saw very distinct bleach blond hair peeking out of a black hoodie.

“Leave me alone.”

“She’s been running around campus trying to figure out who you are, and you still think you don’t even have the tiniest chance?” Osamu asked.

Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose. Osamu had been following him around the house, pestering him about his inactivity in the matter. He just couldn’t understand how his extremely outgoing brother was suddenly taking a vow of silence regarding his feelings.

Atsumu grabbed his keys off the hook. “I’m going out for a walk.”

“I’ll come with you.” Osamu said.

“I’d rather take my shoes and socks off and walk through your collection of Legos.” He replied, slamming the door on his way out and ignoring his brother’s giggles.

He walked aimlessly for quite some time, pulling his hood over his head at the first sign of snowfall.

Is Osamu right? Isn’t just leaving her be the right thing to do? He thought to himself. It’s true that he’s never been the type to back down, but is that really the best course of action with someone he likes this much? Or maybe, his focus should be on proving to her that her thoughts about athletes are wrong. He can care about more things than just volleyball. That’s it! He’d prove her wrong and when she’s finally seen the truth, he’ll-

Atsumu was dragged out of his thoughts by a strong thump against his leg. He looked down to see a brown-fur dog wagging its tail at him.

“Now what are you doing out here in the snow like this, huh?” He smiled, leading the dog back into the alleyway. He noticed the other dogs sitting next to a trash can, also getting wet from the snow.

Finding a discarded wooden door, Atsumu laid it atop of the trash cans, giving the dogs a roof.

“There you go, that should be good enough at least for tonight. You’re probably hungry, huh? Should I get you something to eat?” Atsumu laughed at the increased wagging at the mention of food. He ran to the store around the corner, coming back with a few cans of dog food.

“Hmm, come to think of it, doesn’t Hima usually feed you guys? I guess it makes sense that she didn’t come out in the rain.” He crouched down, watching the dogs dig in. “How crazy would that be, running into her here?” He laughed to himself.

One of the dogs suddenly ran out of the makeshift doghouse, darting down the alley.

“Hey, where’re you going? You’ll get wet!” He called out until he noticed the dog stop just shy of a pair of white sneakers. The same brand he saw Hima wearing earlier that week.

His eyes fluttered upwards to meet a round, brown pair. “Oh, shit.”

“It’s you.” She said.

“Sorry?” He asked, finding his way back to his feet.

How did Himari ever think it was anyone else? “‘The first time I ever noticed this person was in the middle of a match.’ The first time I ever went to a volleyball match, you saved me from a ball to the face. ‘ Professors announce the highest marks on recent tests and your name is called every time.’ You congratulated me last time that happened. You even mentioned me feeding the stray dogs, and here you are! Oh my gosh, it’s you.” She blurted out, taking a step closer.

Atsumu scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I heard you’ve been looking for me everywhere. I’m sorry.”

Himari furrowed her eyebrows. “Wait, why are you apologizing? Wait, wait, if you knew I was looking for you, why didn’t you just say something? I ended up in the awkwardest conversations looking for you.” Himari’s face contorted into one of disbelief.

Atsumu laughed softly, finding her adorable in the moment. “I thought it was better this way. I knew you wouldn’t like me.”

“You said that in the call, too! Why wouldn’t I like you?”

It was Atsumu’s turn to look confused. “ …You said so. You said nobody wants to deal with guys that take volleyball seriously. That same day you were talking about.” He said, pointing at the much shorter girl.

Hima stared at him blankly before it clicked. She scoffed, looking off to the side. All this time, the guy she liked thought she didn’t like him for some off-topic comment she made to Satomi.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just wanted Satomi to leave me alone. I had just developed my crush on you, and I knew if I had admitted it right then and there, I’d never hear the end of it. I never meant for you to hear that. It’s not true. I’m sorry.” She looked down, focusing on the gravel below.

Atsumu disregarded her apology completely, a dazed look on his face. “You…what?”

“Huh?”

“Say it again.”

“Say what?”

Atsumu groaned. Now was not the time for miscommunications. “What you just said. I need to hear it again.”

Oh. He meant that. “I…developed a crush on you that day. I’ve liked you ever since.” She felt heat rising across her cheeks as she spoke.

“Huh,” Atsumu said incredulously. “I can’t believe I owe that idiot an apology.” He mumbled.

“What idiot?” Hima asked.

“Can I walk you home?” Atsumu said abruptly. “Please?”

“Oh.” She said, surprised. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

They left the blanket for the dogs, deciding that Himari should take the rest of the food home to give to them another day. They made the short walk back to her building, squeezing themselves into the small hallway leading to the lobby.

“I can’t believe you liked me back this entire time. I should’ve just said something.” He shook his head.

Himari smiled. “That makes two of us. Well, this is me.” She motioned to the lobby.

“Right! Well, good night! I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled, turning to the door.

She giggled. “Really? You’re just going to leave?”

Atsumu turned back to face her.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?” She laughed harder when she saw the mental gymnastics visibly etched on his face. “Think about what day tomorrow is. There’s a very specific question to be asked.”

A lightbulb went on in Atsumu’s head. “Ah! Um…” He tugged at the sleeves of his coat. “Right, um..Hima?”

“Yes?” She asked, loving how her nickname rolled off his tongue.

“Can I be your Valentine?”

She smiled. “I’d love to.”

A rosy hue dusted Atsumu’s cheeks, reaching the back of his neck. “Wow. Okay. Well, as your Valentine, can I make a small request?”

“What’s that?”

“Maybe, tomorrow when we inevitably go on a date, you could probably wear that skirt you wear sometimes? The really flowy one with the slit?”

Himari quirked an eyebrow. She knew exactly what skirt he was talking about. “Hmmm, for you, I think that can be arranged.”

“Yeah?” He stepped closer.

“Yeah.” She closed the gap between them.

“I’m quite the lucky guy, then.” He whispered.

“You have no idea. Even though you had no hope of this working out, you still got your radio romance.” Her eyes fell to his lips.

Atsumu took this opportunity to press them against her own, sighing in relief like he’d been holding in the urge this entire time. Maybe he was. He gave her pout a few chaste pecks before resting his forehead against hers. They both let out a soft laugh before their lips found each other again. 

arrow one: complete

[lingering-42-long]

Hello! May I request a Ghost x !fem Reader where Simon and the reader are best friends in highschool, they always secretly help each other during tests (It would be so funny to see the two of them cheating during a test just so they can give each other the right answers) they hang out at the reader's house and they are just an amazing duo.

Simon trusts the reader with his LIFE since she's always there for him, she always comforts him, support him and cheer him up whenever he has negative thoughts about himself... Simon tells her about his father and opens up to her about the way he feels. Both of them end up realizing they have fallen in love with each other. (Teenage ghost deserves more appreciation :( and I just love the way you write)

Though Tick and Thin

You two, thank you so much for this ask, since it was practically the same, I just combined them. I was reading on how old Simon is, to understand what year he went to school with the reader. He enlisted himself after 9/11 (16 is the earliest you can enlist in the UK). So the setting is 2000, before the attack. The reader and Simon would be 15, a perfect time to find romance. I loved this childhood romance so much I might make it into a series. Y’all let me know if I should.

Warnings:

Note: This means Simon is an old boy coming in at roughly 37 ish this year. Love this old man!

Also!: I said that I wasn’t going to be posting as much during the holidays but I did finish this earlier than expected so here’s a special unplanned gift to y’all!

Summary: Kids being kids, just before summer break, getting themselves into trouble, living life, and realizing that their friendship might be more than just friends.

“Come on! We’re going to be late!” A young girl in her fithteens shouted from outside as Simon was trying to get out the door. “I’m coming! I’m coming!” He huffed, “geez your impatient arnt ya?”

“Yes. Now, hurry up!” The girl puffed her chest. “School starts in 10 minutes.”

“I’m aware of that” he grumbled as the he trotted to catch up with her.

Simon finally caught up with this girl as they briskly walked to the school. Her name was (y/n). She was a spunky teen who had too much energy and was always getting herself (and him) into trouble since grade school. He and (y/n) had become bonded buddies and did everything together, she even helped him land a job with her father, a local butcher here in Manchester, England.

The reason as to why (y/n) was rushing to school was because they had finals this week before winter break. (Y/n) was looking forward to spending the holidays with her best friend. “Did your folks say yes to you spending the night with me?” She asked.

Simon nodded, “Dads out of town this week and mom said I could go”

“Oh thank goodness!” She squealed and hugged the lanky boy tightly. She was one of the very few people who knew about his dad’s abuse, and one of the few people that could comfort him. He was pretty shy around others, in reality he just didn’t like talking to strangers unless needed too. (Y/n) was different, she came though his locked doors like a bomb and made herself at home in his heart.

School bell rang as the two young teens slipped into there seats. The teacher was talking about polynomials and droning on about them. (Y/n) almost fell asleep. Simon watched her. The way her head dipped and her pretty eyes closing ever so slowly… no! He wasn’t in love with her! She was his friend, he couldn’t fall for his best friend… could he?

School was long and boring for both. There was going to be a test before winter break, both Simon and (y/n) cringed as the teacher droned on about it being important for them to study. (Y/n) already got in trouble twice for dozing in class, she, being the hot headed person, spat back quietly without the teacher noticing, “well if your class wasn’t so boring maybe I’d pay attention.” This made Simon chuckle at his friend’s antics.

Finally school ended and the two headed to (y/n)’s house. “Moms making a roast for us tonight. I think dad will be home from work soon too.” She held his hand as the two walked. Simon only nodded and held her hand back. He liked listening to her talk. She made him feel good about himself. Any time he was ever alone, scared, or sad, he always relied on (y/n). He hated for her to see that side of him, his overstimulated, self loathing, pathetic self. He hated that he was being protected, all he wanted was to protect others.

As his intrusive thoughts infected his mind, he felt a poke in his ribs, “Earth to Simon, come in Simon, do you copy?”

“What? Oh, yeah I’m here.” His mind snapped back to the present.

“Oh good thought I lost ya!” (Y/n) grinned. “We’re home” she pointed to her family’s small home, with the chimney puffing out smoke and the lights in the window illuminating the rooms inside. To Simon, this was what home should be like, warm, comforting, inviting. He wished his home was like that.

Shivering a bit the two kids stepped into the house and hung there jackets up and put away there shoes. “Mum! We’re home!” (Y/n) shouted. Their dog came running to them, the big black lab, named Belle, that was always happy to greet newcomers. Simon liked the dog. He gave her a scratch behind the ears.

“Come in you two!” (Y/n)’s mother came from the kitchen and hugged both of them.

“How was school?” She asked

“Boring! I fell Asleep twice.” (Y/n) groaned. Her mother clicked her tongue “your teacher is taking the time to teach the lot of ya. Best give them the due and listen to them”

“Sure mom” (y/n) huffed.

“Why don’t you too set the table, your dad will be in soon.”

The two started setting the table, but Simon’s mind was elsewhere, he knew (y/n) was talking, but right now she sounded like Charlie Brown’s teacher. He liked watching her, analyzing her behavior, the way she walked, the way she would get all worked up on something she loved, the way her hair fell… WHAT WAS HE THINKING. He was acting like a love struck male. The hell?! He was trying to get those thoughts out. Those lovey-dovy feelings made him sick. He didn’t believe that he would find love, not with his shitty life.

“You been spacing out a lot… you ok” (y/n) asked concerned for her friend/crush. She had always had a crush on him since they met at school. (Y/n) always cherished the relationship with him. Simon was her best friend. The two got into trouble, joked about things, and spending copious amounts of time together. Him spacing out like this worried her.

“Yeah I’m fine… just thinking.” Simon blushed

“About?” (Y/n) pressed

“The test tomorrow… I need to pass it…” he lied

“Look I got a plan..”

“You always got a plan… mostly we get caught.”

“Not this time! It’s foolproof. I have been working on it since yesterday night.”

“Oh goodie… a plan that was made last night” he rolled his eyes

“Oh hush you.” She stuck out her tongue. “Unless you have a better idea.”

“I don’t.”

“Then it’s settled! We will go with my plan.”

Before Simon could argue, (y/n)’s dad came in. “Hunny, kids I’m home!” He called out. The mom came and greeted the big burly man and so did (Y/n). Simon just shook the man’s hand. “Good to see you again Simon” the man smiled, he was also Simon’s boss at the local butcher shop.

“Dinners almost ready” the mom called out as everyone made there way to the table.

After dinner the kids helped clean up the dishes then went into (y/n)’s room to study. The parents were in the living room watching tv. They trusted Simon and (Y/n) together and had no problems with the kids hanging out and having sleepovers, knowing that Simon was not coming from a safe household.

The two sat on the floor looking over at the study guide for the test. “Ok so we will write the formulas on a piece of paper then we eat it as we go.”

“Really? Your plan is to eat paper?” Simon rolled his eyes.

“Yes! The teachers will think we are chewing gum and if they ask us to get rid of it we swallow.

“I don’t know???? It might work.” He shrugged.

“It’s our only option” she flopped onto his lap and stared at Simon. “I have a headache.”

“You are a headache” he chuckled and played with (y/n)’s hair. She always let Simon mess with her hair, though he would not admit it, but her laying on him was giving him a heart attack.

“Hey! Rude!” (Y/n) huffed but smiled. “At least your my pain in my ass.”

He chuckled, “ how about this, we are both each other’s problems.”

“Deal?”

“Deal.”

They pinky promised.

The next day the two where ready. The test was long but the plan was coming together beautifully. Soon the teacher was catching on. “Miss (y/n) please come over here… you too Mister Simon” we both exchanged small glances as we made our way to our teacher. Miss (y/n) I have been noticing you have been stealing glances, don’t play dumb with me I saw you glancing at Simon’s work… Mister Simon, are you helping her cheat?” She questioned. He paled… if the teacher sent him to the principals office he would get the worst beating of his life from his dad. “No mamm” (y/n) spoke up her voice quivering, desperate to save her friend. “He wasn’t aware I was cheating.” She looked at Simon “no mamm I didn’t know.”

She pondered for a bit. “Since mister Simon has never been a troublemaker I will let you go… miss (y/n) your test will not be valid and you now go see the principal. Now.” The teacher glared over her glasses. (Y/n) nodded and shakily made her way to the head masters room. She was in for a lot of trouble.

It had been three weeks since Simon got to hang out with (y/n). She was grounded for that few weeks and had detention for three Saturdays. It was fine. He worked at the butchers shop with her dad who apologized for his daughter. Simon said it was fine and there friendship wasn’t ruined. This pleased the dad greatly. He liked Simon.

Once she was out of her punishment the two were once again hanging out at her house, relaxing. Simon looked over at her who was listening to music on her CD player. She chose music that would not hurt Simon’s ears. She knew his dad was a cruel man that tormented his son in lots of ways.

Simon smiled at her as she began to speak, “it was sooooo boring without you! Mum took away all my electronics for 3 weeks! 3 weeks I was sitting in my room doing nothing.”

Simon chuckled “it couldn’t have been that bad.”

“Si,” the nickname she gave him he loved her when (y/n) called him that.

“You are my best friend. Without you I might as well die!” She dramatically threw herself onto the bed and groaned.

Simon chuckled, “your still alive now” he sat next to her draped frame.

“True” she sighed. “I’m bored”

“Hi bored, I’m Simon”

“Haha your sooooooo funny” (y/n) rolled her eyes but smiled.

“Let’s take a walk.” Simon stated.

“Now?”

“You got a better idea”

“Hey that’s my line you can’t use my line”

“Love, I’ll use whatever line I want too.” He had not realized he called her “Love” it came out so naturally. When he realized he had said it, Simon nearly thew up. (Y/n) didn’t seem to care or mind (deep down she was screaming). “Sure! Let’s go!”

The two walked together’s in silence out in the cold, England air, content with each others presence not having to see much just living in the moment. Simon felt (y/n) wrap her arm with his and hold him close, this made him whimper a tiny bit. His whole body shook as he looked down at her. “Um, (y/n) I got to tell you something.” The jacket, he was wearing, felt like 50c and he stopped then turned to face her, holding her hands. “(y/n) I-…I love you…. A lot…. I g-get it if you don’t…. I wouldn’t blame you… b-but…” Simon gasped for air, “I w-want to have a R-relationship w-with you… more than just f-friends… Y-you mean s-s-so m-much to me.” He was on the verge of crying.

“Oh hush! Your working yourself to death. Of course I would love to be your Girlfriend! I have been wanting this since grade one!”

“W-what if we f-fail at t-this? I d-don’t want t-to hurt y-you. I don’t w-want to b-be like my dad”

“You are a hundred times better than that beast of a man, I trust you with my life. Plus it would have to be something important for us to break up on. Even if we did I would still be your friend. I love you Simon Riley.” She lowered her head to his chest, he was taller than her her from a recent growth spurt that summer. Simon hugged her tight. “I love you (y/n) (y/l/n). Though thick and thin.”

“Though thick and thin” she repeated.

“May I… you know… kiss you” he asked, shyly.

“Anytime you need it” (y/n) replied.

The first kiss that they shared was definitely not the smoothest. Since it was both their first time they had no idea how to properly kiss one another without bumping noses or biting tongue, but nether the less, The two enjoyed the experience. (Y/n) giggled “sorry I’m a horrible kisser.”

“No your the best kisser ever.” He nuzzled her shoulder as the two walked back to her house.

“As if you know what a good kisser is” she laughed.

“True but I love you. “ he smiled, truly happy for once.

“I love you too.”

[sailorblossoms]

Unrelated reasons have me thinking about “it was fine, it was sex” again, a line that packs a lot both in context... and even outside of it. 

When we talk about things that (ideally) should be good, just “fine” will be perceived as lukewarm at best, if not just a negatively. Just “fine” is a dismissal. Indifference. It’s indicative of disappointment, even. (I mean, picture cooking dinner for someone and then asking “how was it?” and they go “it was fine, it was food.” You probably wouldn’t want to cook for them again, because it’ll give you the impression that they didn’t really like the damn food. It might even make you wonder what’s wrong with the food, your cooking, or the person who ate it.) We usually regard sex as something that should be “mindblowingly good,” especially in the kind of stories shaping Simon’s perception of how dating and romance ought to be. So good that if someone doesn’t want it, then “something is wrong” with them (Simon’s thoughts in awtwb indicate more than once that he doesn’t get the point of sex for the sake of it).

In context, Simon is one to downplay or to be used to discomfort. He’ll go “it’s fine, whatever, I’ll live” and the dude can’t even move his wings from the pain. But even outside of that, sex is something that can be very vulnerable and complicated. It’s something that, in certain circumstances, can absolutely just feel uncomfortable and weird, even when all parties involved are trying to make it work. Sex is thought of as synonymous with pleasure, but it doesn’t always work like that... Negative or bad orgasms are a thing, associated with going though the motions sex, meaning even an orgasm can feel unpleasurable, uncomfortable, and even hurt (I remember reading a study where someone reported having experienced those with so much frequency they started to feel repulsed by sex). But it doesn’t have to go to that extreme. There’s the notion that men always come fast, but they can absolutely struggle with even keeping an erection and not being able to get off no matter how much they try. 

Arousal non concordance is a thing, meaning that genitals can respond to touch even when you’re not into it at all. The body and the mind aren’t connected here. (Picture absolutely hating the sensation of people tickling you, but you can’t help laughing anyway because you’re ticklish). This is crucial to understand that a body responding to stimulation doesn’t mean someone secretly “wants it,” and perfectly explains how someone like Simon can look back and say “yes, I did it, but I don’t think it proves I was attracted” and then fight the insistence that he was.   

Someone could get wet or get an erection while watching paint dry simply because they’re being touched. Going through the motions sex can have negative consequences on people mentally and emotionally, it can kill relationships, and even make things harder for following ones. All things we normally don’t talk about in the kind of stories – where heterosexual romance is framed as an endgame and synonymous with happiness and success – that Simon would be used to seeing. Add to that traditional expectations that make men active and women passive (it’s “up to the man to perform” while the woman “just has to be pretty” – if we don’t get into the whole “women have to serve” bs) (that men have to always want it and want it early and often) and you get another level of fucked up when Simon finds himself not wanting it and adding it to the list of “I did what I thought she wanted but got it wrong” (his reaction to “does Wellbelove?” [appreciate a job well done] says a lot)

When hearing “sex,” one automatically assumes that desire, pleasure and (positive) orgasm are involved, even we get signs to think otherwise – I mean, I’ve seen people make the very assumptions these book challenge about these characters (some then even giving the author shit over it haha ah). But Simon having had sex doesn’t mean he had to be attracted in some way in order to “be able to do it.” That sex took place doesn’t mean the participants experienced pleasured or that it ended because anyone had any release (going through the motions!). Not wanting it doesn’t always look like being unable to get the mechanics of it done, or “genitals not reacting at all” (again, arousal non concordance is a thing) (this applies to Agatha as well, but I focus on Simon because he’s the one who more often falls victim to assumptions because he’s the boy, and “boys always want it” etc etc).  

Part of it is that it can be something that one wouldn’t (or wouldn’t want to) describe as “bad”  if it doesn’t reach extreme levels of distress or something like that. Even if it’s low-key traumatic and/or experiencing it awakens feelings that makes one not wanting to think or deal with it at all. Embarrassment, shame, confusion, discomfort, etc. It’s complicated. If it happened in a situation where is acceptable or there is even pressure to want it (in a relationship) one might even hesitate more to say or consider it as bad, and be more confused when they’re not into it (especially when one doesn’t want to admit the relationship isn’t working). 

Before being with Baz, Simon lives his adolescence trying to conform to traditional roles and expectations, pushing through while avoiding being alone in his head, reframing and hiding away everything that would tell him “I don’t want this,” “I don’t like this,” “this does absolutely nothing for me.” (”I’m unhappy” and/or maybe even “I’m bored”). He’s absolutely the kind of person who would struggle with even arriving at the questions “what does it mean that I did this thing even though I wasn’t attracted? Or didn't really want it? what does it say about me?”) (”it was just going through the motions” say so much about lack of pleasure/not liking it, even more if you add in how food is the only way Simon can seem to understand pleasure before he’s with Baz, and would contribute to how hard it is to suddenly deal with so much desire when his past experience dealt with no desire at all)

In this vein, I think it’s important that Baz and Simon actually talk and reassure each other about liking it after having sex for the first time, because orgasming by itself doesn’t necessarily mean someone felt good or had a good time. 

[In terms of pressure on Agatha and Simon: to be clear, I think expectations made them pressure themselves. (See Agatha going “I’ll be by his side if that’s where he wants me” but then you pass the mic to Simon and he goes “I was just doing what I thought she wanted.”) It’s “what they’re supposed to do” and so they did it. Maybe not wanting to let the other down, but getting it “all wrong” all the same, because the person they’re with is wrong for them, wrong for the experience, etc]

[fizzyxcustard]

I Have Time.

Part 1 can be found here

Fandom: Robin Hood (BBC TV series)

Pairing: Guy of Gisborne x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Pining, smut, insecurity

Summary: From the imagine, “Imagine telling Guy about your 21st century Christmas traditions.” Part 2.

Comments: If you would like to be added to or removed from my tag list, please let me know. Requested by @sydmarchsstuff

I'm going to sound like a broken record, as usual, but thank you to all of you who regularly engage with my fics. I appreciate it more than you know. :)

The knock at your door had completely broken the spell from around you and Guy. The two of you moved over to your small table, which you noticed that Guy had already set and he began plating the food. 

“You really didn’t have to do this,” you told him. 

Guy merely smirked at you and then pulled your chair out for you. “Would you like your shawl? You’re shaking.” 

As the spell had been broken from around you, you had never even noticed the temperature. Your mind was too pre-occupied with this gorgeous man before you. He aroused you in so many ways, not just physically, but also emotionally. Those icy eyes held so many negative emotions, and whenever in his company, something made you feel sad for him. 

Before you could answer and Guy had got your shawl and was placing it around your shoulders. You couldn’t help but notice how his hands lingered on your shoulders for a couple of seconds and then slipped away. The truth was this: you had always found it impossible to read men and know their intentions. Was Guy really interested in you for more than just friendship? 

In his own seat, Guy remained silent and still, watching your reaction to the meal he had organised. But you remained closed, your shoulders and back straight, your face straight. He sighed and tightened his fist, not realising that you had noticed him. 

“Is everything alright?” you asked. 

“No, it isn’t,” Guy growled. His jaw was clenched, and his own uncertainty and indecision was driving him mad. He thought back to pursuing Marian; that had been easier. He had always known that she would never love him, and that somehow spurred him on to try and change her, presenting a challenge. You, however, were so difficult to read, being a different creature entirely. When he had touched your hand earlier, by the fire, you had not moved. Was that his sign? 

“Have I done something wrong?” you asked, feeling immediate guilt rise in your chest, and you had no idea what you were feeling guilt for. “Please, Guy, I would never judge you for telling me your thoughts.” 

His gaze locked on yours from across the table. “Most women I’ve encountered and their intentions I can read. Yours I cannot. You confuse me.”

“My intentions in what way? As in, romance?” you asked, your eyes wide in shock at this sudden admission. To think that Guy of Gisborne had power and persuasion, beneath all that was a deep vulnerability. 

“You could call it that, yes,” he replied simply. 

You sighed and looked down into your lap. 

Guy watched you, and noticed a very slight smile on your face. What did that suggest? Amusement? Happiness? 

“Why do you smile?” he asked bluntly. 

“Because I’ve felt the same way about you. I’ve been here a few months now, and I thought maybe I’d be able to read you because you’re not like a lot of the men I’m used to.” 

Guy smirked. “Is that so? Indulge me.” 

“I don’t mean it in a bad sense at all. Far from it. I’ve never really been what men want back where I come from. I began to think you were the same as that.” 

“So, how am I different to these men then?” 

“It’s hard to explain, Guy, and you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” 

Guy got up from the table and stepped around it towards you. He leaned down, feeling that intense draw to you, an invisible connection. It beckoned him closer to you, and then he stopped. 

You reached for the edge of his leather tunic, which had two fastenings open at the top. You grabbed the edge of the tunic and pulled him toward you, stopping for a second so your faces were no more than two inches apart. 

Guy inhaled sharp and then kissed you hard. The two of you succumb to that heat which had been rising for months now. The kiss deepened and your tongues met. You got to your feet and the two of you, still kissing, fumbled over to the bed. 

With shaking hands, in anticipation and excitement, you unfastened Guy’s leather tunic, peeling it from him. He threw it to the floor, thankful to get rid of it. And then you continued kissing. 

Once completely disrobed, Guy lay over you, kissing you. The kisses were less forceful now, and instead were full of love. You brushed your hand up into his hair, lacing your fingers in the raven locks. 

Guy’s hand trailed down your warm body, followed by his lips. “I’ve waited so long for you,” he groaned. 

“You have me now,” you replied. 

The two of you made love slowly, tenderly, deeply. There was no rush in either of you. Everything was about savouring the moment, remaining joined for as long as you could be. 

Guy rocked against you, his head at your neck. Your hands were locked in his and your legs were closed around his waist. With each deep thrust, you felt him press against that pleasure point. It made the waves mount as if each time he hit that spot, it flicked a switch, increasing the electricity. It was building, like a pressure in the very base of your stomach. 

Every sensation that Guy felt was pure pleasure, warmth and love. He was encased in you, protected by you. For a second he pulled his lips from your neck and looked into your eyes, smiling as he did so. His whole heart told him that you were his home. Guy had never known a true home, until now. He continued thrusting into you as you kept your gazes locked, and he watched your smile change, transforming your expression into one of wonder; eyes shut, mouth open. This was his sign to thrust that little quicker, and as he did so, he saw your expression mirror your ecstasy even more intensely. His name slipped off your tongue, becoming caught up in a groan. Your body shook around him, and he could feel you tightening his girth. 

As the orgasm reached its peak and died away, you opened your eyes, feeling aftershocks flicker down your legs. And it was here that you knew Guy had also reached his climax. His eyes closed and you watched him come closer, putting his lips to yours. He groaned into your kiss. You held him as he rode that beautiful wave out and then let him slip down onto your chest, panting. 

Guy closed his eyes, that sense of being at home so intense now. Your heartbeat pulsed against his ear, gradually slowing the longer he remained there, the two of you skin to skin. 

The afterglow lingered around the two of you for a few minutes, until Guy spoke. He lifted his head from your chest and looked at you, brushing a stray piece of sweaty hair from your brow. “You have yet to tell me exactly where you’re from,” he said, smirking. “I was hoping that this may have warmed you into trusting me enough to tell me where you are from.” 

“You won’t believe me, Guy. I know you won’t,” you replied defensively and pulled yourself up the bed so you were sat up. 

Guy shifted beside you and laced his hand in yours. “Trust me, please.” 

You sighed and focused on him, finding him the most handsome man you had ever seen. And somehow he was now yours. “I’m from the future.” 

Guy stared at you blankly. 

“See, I knew you wouldn’t believe me.” 

Guy furrowed his eyebrows. “I never said I didn’t believe you. You’ve assumed immediately what I’m thinking. It’s hardly something that you hear on a regular occasion, is it? So how do you expect me to react?” 

You continued. “I’m from the year 2022. I’d read stories about time slips and never believed they existed. I always thought they were silly ideas or just stories made up by drunk people. This is why I don’t talk too much about home. England is extremely different to this in the future. It would take me a long time to talk about everything.” 

Guy just stared at you and propped up on his elbow, resting his head on his hand. “I have time.” 

***

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