#shipping;;

[twistmusings]

Navel-Gazing - Jade and Azul

CW: Friends-to-FWB/Lovers, Mentions of Alcohol, Assumes Twisted Wonderland's legal drinking age is 18 but that alcohol is prohibited on campus grounds, mentions of codependence (not in a romantic relationship), mentions of sibling bonds and family issues, feelings of abandonment, mentions of Floyd being in an off-screen relationship. Long as all hell, this is really more of a drabble than a headcanon list womp womp.

At the start of their “relationship”, neither Azul nor Jade were looking for a partner. In fact, the both of them were pretty solidly in the “I don’t want to be tied down when I have something else I have to focus on” camp because they were both preparing to graduate from Night Raven College at that point and are starting to figure out how to go and do their own things. They were both just confirmed for their internships and were planning how they wanted to move forward with their adult lives. They really didn’t have time for a full relationship.

What ended up driving them closer together was, surprisingly, Floyd starting to date someone. That might sound surprising, but the reality was that Jade wasn’t prepared for how different his life would be when his clingy sibling decided not to be around him nearly as much.

Jade would never admit it aloud, but he got lonely. Floyd and he had been together basically every day most of the day since they were fry. They shared a dorm room, even. Being that used to having someone around him at most times meant that when Floyd suddenly wasn’t there to spend time with (read: pester with his nonsense at all times of night), he found it harder to function in general. He often found himself going to say something to Floyd only to remember he’d gone out. He also found it harder to sleep when he was entirely alone-- as it turns out, his instincts had grown attuned to always having someone there he trusted to help keep him safe so now that there wasn’t, he’s on high alert.

In addition to that, Azul began to rely more on Jade for day-to-day tasks. Floyd was spending less of his free time at Mostro Lounge and Octavinelle, so of course Azul would turn to the other person he trusted to handle ‘delicate’ matters. This often led to jade taking on more of the errand-based tasks that Floyd would normally be sent on to work off his energy. 

Jade was… snippy. Or, truthfully, more snide than he usually was. Azul had noticed this, and this made the tension between them start to grow. Azul felt uneasy-- thinking this was a warning sign that Jade would be not long from abandoning him as well, and the thought of being entirely alone sets him on edge.

“I see.” Jade replies, though Azul notes the clipped sound of agitation in his voice. Really, Azul is positively sick of whatever had gotten into Jade, so he shoots Azul a glare. Jade acts like such a brat at times-- like Azul isn’t also struggling with Floyd not being there. For the sake of the Sea Witch, he was balancing his studies for finals, his business, preparing study guides, rearranging his workloads, trying to get in contact with high profile companies for the sake of his internship AND he wasn’t letting his attitude get the best of him!

"Is that a problem, Jade?"

"Hmm." However slight, Azul notices the way that Jade frowns as if he's got a bitter taste in his mouth. "I simply don't think it is the best use of my talents."

Azul sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Jade, you know I would never trust someone other than you with something so important, right?" Azul says, intending to continue that thought, but before he can continue Jade cuts in.

"That isn't true and we both know it. I’ve never been the person you’ve asked to do this before."

The implication hangs heavy in the air-- that Azul is replacing Floyd with Jade. Azul looks up at Jade, surprised, but Jade’s expression is entirely unreadable at the moment. Azul takes a moment to gather himself and brace for whatever argument Jade is trying to start though he really would like to do nothing more than to rise and meet Jade’s antagonism. That particular idea would be unwise. He’s not in his mer-form so he stands little chance against someone Jade’s size.

"What is this about, Jade?" He asks, measuredly, needing to hear Jade explain precisely what had gotten under his skin-- he's leaving no room for misunderstandings.

"This is something you would normally ask Floyd to do. I simply don't understand why it's necessary to ask me."

And that's all it takes for Azul to be at the end of his patience. Perhaps the situation was wearing more on Azul than he had thought.

“Jade, you can see as well as I can that Floyd isn’t here right now. I can’t ask him to do it.” Azul drops the pen that he had been holding unceremoniously onto the stack of papers in front of him, instead clasping his hands in front of him to try and squeeze the frustration out before he does something foolish with that energy. He levels Jade with a stern stare. “I wouldn’t be asking him to do this regardless. I trust your judgment and discretion in this situation more than I would Floyd’s. So what, precisely, is the problem? Do you want higher pay? A favor? What is it?”

Jade looks at Azul, eyes widening fractionally, then he seems to remember himself, taking a slow breath.

"I don't need more pay-- I certainly wouldn't say no, of course--" Azul rolls his eyes at Jade's aside. "--I simply fail to see why this warrants my attention. What you’ve asked me to do is, effectively, grunt work. You know I prefer not to get my hands dirty if I can help it, so whatever it is that has you so worried, I can’t understand why you need me to do it.”

Azul scrubs a hand down his face. 

“Fine.” Azul says through gritted teeth. “I suspect that some of the employees are skimming money from the lounge by not cashing things out properly. I trust you to keep a keen eye on your surroundings and report back to me. Not to ‘beat the tar’ out of them. I am trying to gather enough evidence to file a report to the Headmage.” Azul explains it carefully, almost as if he’s trying to break it down to a child. Jade might have felt condescended to were he not so shocked at the revelation that someone would be brave and foolhardy enough to try to cut into the profits of Azul of all people.

“The last thing I need is for Floyd to run in and get himself into trouble because of his temper.” Azul finishes. Jade nods thoughtfully, frowning, but seems unconvinced. Azul sighs heavily. "How about I reward you? Whatever you'd like so long as it doesn't cut into the profits of the lounge egregiously."

That seemed to perk Jade up.

"Anything?" Jade ventures, tentatively. He pauses to think for a moment, then asks; "Must I decide what I want now?"

"Whenever you'd like, so long as you give me the time to prepare the materials."

Jade watches Azul carefully, as if waiting for further stipulation before nodding.

"Very well. Give me three days, I will gather all the information you need."

Jade succeeds, of course. There’s no way he wouldn’t given the stakes. It’s rare that he has the upper hand on Azul fully and even rarer that Azul offers it willingly.

Azul, on the other hand, is cursing himself for that exact thing: he can’t believe he gave Jade full control like that. He might trust Jade with his life and his finances, but he doesn’t trust him with his dignity.

Azul steeples his fingers.

“So, Jade, have you decided what you would like?” Azul ventures, trying not to let his tension show through in his voice. He is, apparently, unsuccessful, as Jade smirks at him broadly.

“I have.” He replies, though he doesn’t expand on the thought, thoroughly enjoying Azul’s discomfort at what he doesn’t know. The silence extends longer, and Jade’s grin only seems to grow.

“Well, are you planning on sharing with the class?” Azul ventures.

“I would like…” Jade begins, though he pauses rather theatrically, drawing out the tension the way one might for a crowd at the circus rather than for the impatient cephalopod before him.

"...Yes?"

"For you..."

Jade attempts to pause again, but Azul preempts him.

"Get on with it Jade, I don't have all night for histrionics."

Jade sighs, feigning disappointment with a shrug.

"...I’d like for you to make me my favorite meal."

“...” Azul's guard drops for a moment, showing his unveiled surprise. However, within moments, it's back and he's eyeing Jade suspiciously. "That’s it? You're positive? You could have nearly anything you'd like and that's what you want?"

"Quite." 

Azul still seems to expect a trap.

"You just want me to make you Octopus Carpaccio? That's really it?" He asks, and Jade merely smiles broadly and nods. "...Why?"

"Why?"

"Yes, why? What's your angle?"

Jade's smile widens.

"I'd like you to take the night off and give me your company." Jade states, simply.

Jade gets the pleasure of getting to watch the cogs begin to turn in Azul’s head. Azul has always had a distaste for taking time off, no matter how ill or infirmed he may be. He always says that coming back to work will only make for twice the work to be done in half the time.

“It’s been quite some time since I’ve gotten a chance to fully monopolize your time for myself, and if I have a reason to get you into the kitchen I’d be a fool not to take it. You have exacting tastes, after all.” Jade explains, his brows lifting as he grins.

Despite him not being particularly keen on the arrangement, Azul can’t quite keep himself from preening at the compliment.

"You know me well." Azul replies, trying to fight the smile that threatens to curl the corners of his lips. "My mother would have nothing but the best, so of course I have a taste for good food."

“And that’s precisely why I would like to steal you for myself for an evening.”

"No... Fair enough. Far be it from me to tell you what to do with your gift. Consider it a deal."

Jade, for his part, is surprisingly chipper in the span between then and their dinner together. Dare I say he was even a bit excited. He doesn’t realize it, but part of that is because he is looking forward to not having to spend the night by himself in total silence.

Azul does set the time aside for Jade. In fact, he goes above and beyond what is asked. Azul never does things in half measures, and it’s good to repay kindness with kindness. That’s simply good business sense. Azul is a great cook, to put it frankly. He rarely utilizes the skill because he focuses more on the business aspects of the lounge, but he knows his way around the kitchen quite well. It is a rare treat, indeed, to get a handmade dinner by Azul.

On top of that, Azul reserves the private room of the lounge. (That one is mostly selfish-- he doesn’t want to be bothered if they are going to have dinner and a night off. Besides, if they were interrupted, Azul had no doubt Jade would leverage it into a do-over if the night isn’t perfect.) He even goes so far as to procure a bright, fruity red wine to pair with the main course. (He has to sneak it in; he highly doubts that the Headmage would be too keen on him having alcohol on campus regardless of the fact that they are of drinking age.)

Jade is… impressed. He had been sort of riding on the knowledge that Azul doesn’t know how to not take things to ten and he’s not disappointed.

Azul has some… realizations in rapid succession when Jade shows up. See, Azul has always been aware he wasn’t precisely what landfolk would call straight. He’s never really cared much to label it because that’s pretty uncommon under the sea. And he’s always known objectively that Jade was handsome. He’s tall, broad shouldered, has sharp features, and is charming. However, it wasn’t until right about then that he managed to piece together that the two things were even remotely connected. He very nearly drops the 24,000 Thaumark bottle of wine because he fumbles it when Jade walks in.

Azul files it away under something he’s going to deal with later (read: never).

What had made Azul fumble the bottle was seeing how Jade was dressed. Jade has a handful out outfits that Azul has seen-- the uniform for the school, the formal clothes he wears to work in the lounge, the climbing gear he wears when he’s preparing for a weekend excursion to go scale a mountain or whatever he does in his club-- but he can’t recall a time that he’s seen Jade dressed down. He looked as though he was ready for a date, really. It’s not even that different from what he usually wears, but regardless it makes Azul’s palms sweat. He’s got dress pants and one of his white button-ups on, but the cuffs of his shirt are rolled up to his elbows and the top couple of buttons of his shirt are undone just enough to show a bit of his collarbone.

Azul absolutely curses his attraction to people with their sleeves rolled up. He really tries to pin it entirely on that-- it’s not the first time he’s noticed it on someone but it is the first time he’s noticed it on Jade. There is no reason a silly shirt should be making him feel like this when he’s seen Jade without clothes entirely in their mer-forms hundreds of times. It takes him several seconds to get a grip on himself.

Their dinner has been nice. Jade is quite pleased to be able to eat Azul’s cooking, and Azul seems to have relaxed and unwound a little bit. They have both been nursing a single glass of wine all night, just enough to toast their upcoming internships.

“... I admit, I’m a bit surprised that you and Floyd decided to go to different places for your internships.” Azul says, humming at the thought as he sips at the wine. “You two normally come as a set.”

Jade glances toward Azul, wondering if he knows what a landmine of a topic he’d just brought up. He quickly diverts his gaze back to the remaining few ounces of wine as it swirls around the sides of the glass, attempting to distract himself. He’s uncharacteristically quiet for a moment.

They did typically come as a pair, didn’t they? Well, they had come as a pair-- after all, they were already beginning to grow more separate with Floyd spending more time making plans with his partner than he did in their own dorm. They weren’t going to be glued to each other for their entire lives-- they would have to learn their independence sooner or later, right? It simply made sense that they would go to separate places for a few months. Learning how to be by themselves would be healthy for both of them.

“...Jade?” Azul asks. His voice snaps Jade out of the thought that’s preoccupying him, and he looks over at Azul once more.

“Yes, well, it will be good for the both of us to learn to be more independent. It’s already starting to happen, you know? I get the feeling you’ll be seeing more of me on my own.” Jade replies, trying for an unaffected tone. However, Azul seems to see right through him, and for a brief moment, Jade feels uncomfortably seen. Jade wishes he wouldn’t look at him like that-- like he can see right through him.

“You seem lonely.” Azul begins, tentatively, as if he’s not quite sure how Jade will react to his words. “Floyd’s new relationship… has made you feel left behind, hasn’t it?”

Hearing it laid out plainly like that, Jade isn’t sure how he’s meant to respond to that. It feels… silly. Realistically he knows his brother is just excited to have a partner in his life who accepts him with open arms and who clicks with him. It’s not like he’s cut Jade off cold contact-- not anything of the sort. In fact, there would be little either of them could do to permanently sever the close sibling bond they’ve had for years, and Jade has no intention of trampling on whatever happiness Floyd has found or will find. That being said… It's certainly a change not having Floyd around to fill the silence or to be a sounding board for whatever thoughts wander into his mind.

Azul gives him a pitying look, and Jade decides that he hates that look infinitely more than he hated the look that made him feel like Azul knew him through and through.

“...I’m sorry, Jade. You deserve to be happy, too.” Azul adds, voice lowered, like he’s speaking to a scared animal. Jade wants to flinch, but instead he merely closes his eyes pensively.

“Don’t misunderstand, Azul, I’m not unhappy. I’m not particularly keen on the idea of a relationship right now, either. I don’t really have eyes for anyone at the moment who I think would reciprocate.” Jade replies quietly, voice measured but audibly uncomfortable at having to express the emotion out loud. “I always knew that Floyd and I wouldn’t be side by side forever, I simply wasn’t prepared for it to happen so soon. It’s… a difficult adjustment when you’ve been around someone since you were a fry.”

“That’s understandable, though I hope you know that he still cares about you. He is your brother, even if he is a bit… preoccupied with other things at the moment.” Azul attempts to comfort, though he seems just as out of his element with this as Jade is. It almost makes Jade want to ask him why he continued to press the matter if neither of them wanted to be having this conversation. His fingers scratch awkwardly at the back of his neck. “I know it’s not the same but I am still here for you, as well.”

Jade can’t help but to laugh, shooting Azul a wry smirk.

“Somehow I doubt that latching onto you in the absence of my brother wouldn’t be much of a solution at all.”

Azul flushes slightly, trying to keep himself from frowning and only earning another laugh from Jade that he reaches to cover a second too late.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“I know what you meant. I simply suppose that I will have to learn to be more independent. And if that fails, then I’ll desperately fall back on you.” Jade says with a grin. Azul gives him a surprised look for a moment, and then laughs along with him. Azul hadn’t expected him to bounce back from his dour mood quite so quickly.

“Well, no, I suppose that wouldn’t help much. I’ll admit you’ve never really struck me as the codependent type, though. You’re not entirely reliant on your brother, are you?” Azul tips back the last of his wine.

Jade’s grin grows wicked in the way it always does when he’s about to say something to make Azul suffer.

"I don't suppose you would like to find out, would you?"

Azul chokes on his drink, and Jade can't quite hide his thinly veiled delight at being able to elicit the scandalized look that comes to Azul’s face.

"And what precisely would that entail?" Azul coughs

Jade feels like he must not have heard that right. That was not at all the reaction that he had expected-- he’d expected vehement denial. His eyes widened fractionally in realization. Surely that can’t be right, right?

"Oh." Jade replies, intelligently, the singular syllable being the only sound to pass between the two of them for a moment. Jade swallows thickly, having to quickly recalibrate and rearrange the thoughts in his mind. He looks down at the last of the wine in his glass, considering, before downing it in a single, large gulp. He clears his throat, setting the glass aside and using that as an excuse to avoid Azul’s expectant gaze.

 He replies, the singular syllable the only sound that passes between the two for a moment. Jade swallows thickly, again looking down at the last of the wine in his glass, considering, before he downs it in in a single, large gulp.

“I don’t sleep particularly well when I’m in a room alone.” Jade says it, then seems surprised by his own admission. He’s nowhere near inebriated enough for it to warrant the sort of unfiltered emotion to be pouring out of his mouth like this. It’s an uncomfortable thing to divulge, and the mere mention of it makes him feel sort of pathetic. “We’ve shared a room for years now. I find it hard to fall asleep now that I’m alone. It just…feels like something is wrong. Like something is missing. I think, perhaps, it’s my instincts putting me on edge because I have no one looking out for me when I’m most vulnerable.”

Azul blinks at him blankly, and then he is the one who gives Jade a shark-like grin, as if this is fun for him.

“Awe, what do you miss most? Waking up to Floyd looming over you at three A.M.? Or maybe it’s how he picks fights with people in his sleep? Oh-oh, or is it holding the pillow over his mouth when he snores?” Azul’s tone is positively tickled, earning a roll of the eyes from Jade.

It is decidedly less fun to be on this side of the teasing. For some that might have meant that they would knock it off next time, but for Jade it merely meant that he would be sure to be positively insufferable the next time Azul embarrasses himself.

Azul, seeming to have gotten his fill, trails off. For a moment, Jade meets his gaze, and Azul takes that chance to examine him thoroughly. Jade resists the urge to squirm, feeling like a lab specimen being examined. Azul is one of the only people he would tolerate that from.

“Do you need someone to be there with you?” Azul asks lowly, as if there’s anyone around to overhear him, tone entirely sober. Jade is surprised once again, looking at Azul in silence.

How is he meant to take that offer? Jade truly can’t tell if his suspicion is on base, but it feels like Azul is hitting on him, and as reluctant as he would be to admit it, the thought makes a heat creep into his stomach. He swallows again, though this time there’s no wine to try and cover it up.

“That would depend on what was being offered…”

"You know a good businessman never makes the first offer."

Jade considered his options carefully. Azul is a friend. This is not something he should be doing, he knows it would be foolish, but… if this is happening, he doesn’t think he can deny himself the chance. If Azul backs down he’ll have his answer, and hopefully if he does it will serve as a reminder for Azul not to toy with his emotions.

“Believe me, Azul, I’m well aware that you’re a sharp businessman. You’re incredibly persistent when you put your mind to something. I’d never underestimate you like that.” Jade’s tone is unfamiliar to himself, assertive, low, and dark as he rather shamelessly flirts right back with Azul. He lays an arm across the back of the booth that they’re sitting in and he leans closer into Azul’s space. “But a good businessman knows how to make the first offer when they need to. So, why don’t you try making me an offer I won’t refuse?”

It has the intended effect, and Jade feels a small thrill that maybe he shouldn’t as he watches the redness rise into Azul’s cheeks. In spite of that, Azul smirks.

“That’s what I like to hear. You really do pick up on the ins and outs of making deals when I use my unique magic, don’t you?” Azul laughs. He shifts himself, leaning into Jade, rather than away. “Tell me this, then, if you got whatever you wanted from tonight, what would it be?”

Oh dear. Well, it seems his intuition is right-- Azul seems surprisingly keen on this. He’s suddenly thankful for Azul’s foresight to reserve them the private room, because it means he doesn’t have to worry about someone barging into their conversation-- if someone interrupted them right now, Jade just might snap.

“I want a lot of things.” Jade admits, his voice practically a purr. There’s something almost possessive to his tone of voice. “I’m a bit torn, really.”

“Isn’t that a shame. Why not tell me? I’ll humor you. Maybe I’ll be able to help you sort your thoughts.” This time, it’s Azul’s turn to swallow, his gaze that has been holding steadily this entire time darts toward Jade’s lips as the heat in his face only continues to grow. It’s brief, but Jade doesn’t miss it.

“You want to kiss me.” Jade says-- it’s not really a question, nor is it a statement. It’s a realization, and Jade sounds a little giddy with it. “So what are you waiting for?”

The prompting seems to be all it takes, as Azul surges forward, closing the gap between them. Jade feels a flood of something warm into his chest as Azul kisses him, and something entirely different settles into his stomach. Azul’s kiss is eager-- borderline desperate, really-- and Jade allows him to squirm closer, encouraging him by placing his hands onto Azul’s waist.

It’s intense. Jade has had a few brief kisses in passing, but nothing that has felt quite like this-- nothing that makes heat creep along his skin and makes him itch with desire to pull Azul closer because he can’t get close enough. Azul seems to mirror his enthusiasm, adjusting the tilt of his head and deepening the kiss easily once Jade allows him.

It’s only once one of Jade’s hands creeps to the back of him, dipping a bit lower to--

“Jade! What--” Azul breaks the kiss abruptly, startling backwards from him with a squawk. His face is intensely flushed, a sight that Jade admires as he falters with his words. “Did you just goose me!?”

Jade giggles, a fond but impish wide grin splitting his face.

“Apologies. I’ve always found it rather cute, and I admit I was a bit curious how it would feel since it’s a rather recent development.” Jade is thoroughly amused. Azul merely scoffs, shaking his head, though he doesn’t seem too truly offended, considering he flops forward, attempting to hide his blush in Jade’s shoulder.

“You are a menace.”

[catsofyore]

In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.

[screampotato]

Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).

When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".

When the boat is still being built, your say "it".

When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".

When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".

When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.

If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").

If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")

If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").

If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.

If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.

I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.

[mewvore]

[hadeantaiga]

I really think everyone needs to truly internalize this:

Fictional characters are objects.

They are not people. You cannot "objectify" them, because they have no personhood to be deprived of. They have no humanity to be erased. You cannot "disrespect" them, because they are not real.

[becuzmdsaidineededpersonality]

[punk-dad-sharkz]

guy who says "FUCK!" to every minor inconvenience x guy who says "oopsie daisies" to earth shattering catastrophes

[piratepolls]

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

do i ship these characters or do i want them to form a sketch comedy duo

[ufolvr]

Robot characters who are given names like SL-308-62 but instead of their human friend going Well let's call you Sally for short, they instead ask the other if they Like their current name.

"Do you like your serial number?" they ask. "Yes, quite. It reminds me of who I am" the robot replies. "I have heard others like me go by different names after some time, and maybe one day I'll choose one for myself, too. But right now that is my full name, yes" they continue.

Because it's not your decision to make whether or not the robot will receive a new name. It should be theirs only. What's the difference? One is more complex and the other is simplified. They were both given by strangers instead of themselves.

"62 will do," they conclude. "It's my model number - there will be no other 62 after me."

[twistmusings]

Hi Mod Azul! I was wondering if I could request some parenting headcanons for Riddle x Floyd? :) (With them probably adopting lmfao).

Kinda random, but this was actually sparked by your "Riddle's Conversation with his Mother" post lol. I also just wanted to compliment you on it and how well executed it was. I appreciated the honesty that went into it. How some people will always think they're in the right; they won't listen to you, nor will they change, and sometimes you just have to move away from that. (Also Riddle wanting to cry and go to Trey, but him also knowing that doing so will make things worse??? Him seeing Trey's family, their relationship helping him learn how his own mother's treatment of him isn't right????😭😭😭) Riddle's sorrow was palpable, but so was his determination and hope. The line about Riddle wanting to break the cycle particularly struck me! Ofc, this comes with Riddle growing apart from his mother and into a healthier lifestyle, along with a lot of reflection and struggle and! Betterment!! :) It got me wondering how would Riddle be like as a parent growing out of that kind of cycle? And on a much less serious/more random note, how Floyd's spontaneity may agitate or encourage that growth. I just thought it was interesting :) but i also totally understand if this request is too random/specific🤣🤣🤣 and being able to communicate my appreciation for Riddle's Conversation is enough:)

Thank you for everything you write :) i hope moving is going well!! take care Mod Azul <333

This message is so incredibly sweet. I am so genuinely touched that you liked my Riddle post because I know that the subject of dysfunctional families isn't always something fun to read about. And on top of it all you ask me for florid, which, if I may be biased for a moment, is one of my favorite ships. 😭

Floyd and Riddle as parents.

CW: Mentions of unhealthy parent-child relationship (Riddle and his mother), fluffy as fuck and long as fuck.

Note: This is set with both characters being in their late twenties.

I feel like becoming parents was a very long process for the two of them. Not in a bad way, actually, it was just very well thought out.

Floyd was the one to prompt the discussion: I've mentioned in the past how his biology gives him bad baby fever when he feels comfortable and safe in his life, so that was what prompted it. Riddle, on the other hand, had never really thought about kids. (Nor had he really thought about being in a relationship, either, but here he was, in a committed relationship with Floyd.)

To his credit, Floyd thought out his approach very carefully. He had only heard bits and pieces about Riddle's mother and had met her a grand total of once before the both of them were kicked out of her house. (Sometimes Floyd still remembers how worried he'd been that Riddle would be devastated only to look over and see him with a very smug and self satisfied smile on his face at her reaction. It turned out that Riddle had done it intentionally to piss her off so she'd kick him out 'to think about his choices' so he didn't have to deal with her for the holidays. Its disgustingly sappy, but he's pretty sure that was the day he well and truly fell head over heels for Riddle.) He knows that there's not a good history with his mom, so Floyd had thought it would be best to test the waters before actually asking outright if he wanted kids.

He tried to be subtle about it, just pointing out children when he saw them, hoping to get a temperature read on how Riddle felt about kids in general. "There's a whole line of kids dressed up for halloween! The one with a crown on reminds me of you." or "Hee hee, they have mini-sized boots for baby feet." Riddle would always acknowledge it but was surprisingly quiet about his thoughts.

"Oh, Riddle, look! There's a school trip!"

Riddle looks up from the case of desserts he's looking at in the direction that Floyd is watching, and sure enough a line of children is waddling by behind a guide and their teacher on a field trip, he assumed.

He glanced back to Floyd, wondering why he'd been mentioning baby stuff so much recently. Floyd had already told him before that he tended to get a little baby-crazy at times, and he was about to ask if it was starting up again when a slight movement caught his eye.

His eyes dropped to where he hand that wasn't holding his own had come to rest on Floyd's shirt. It flexed a little, fabric gripped between it, and when Riddle glanced at his face, he noticed that the others eyes were glittering and crinkled at the corners as he smiles.

He follows his gaze back to the group of children who are excitedly pointing at the sweets on display, and that's what makes it click.

"Floyd..." The other perks up, fingers still tangled in his shirt and smile still gracing his lips. "You want kids, don't you?"

It's not a question-- more of an accusation, really.

Floyd's face drops and he opens his mouth and makes a couple of aborted noises. Riddle recognizes it as what he does when he back-pedals-- what he does when he thinks he's done something that actually makes Riddle mad.

"I dunno what you're talkin' 'bout, goldfishy~." He settles on, trying for his normal sing-song tone but sounding a little strained. Riddle shakes his head with a sigh-- while he was glad that Floyd had learned to be a bit more tactful with showing his affection, sometimes he wished he would just drop it and be blunt with him.

Riddle squeezes the hand that's still linked with his own, falling silent and looking back toward the desert case. He sorted his thoughts in the time it took for the waitress to take the order for what he wanted.

As she took the tarts aside to put them in a box, Riddle squeezed Floyd's hand again.

"You could have just asked me outright, you know I wouldn't have been upset with you. So why didn't you?"

Floyd huffs, clearly not wanting to answer this line of inquiry. He tries to pull his hand away from Riddle's, trying to close himself off. Riddle doesn't let him, already familiar with this little trick of his.

"Jus' thought it might be a sensitive subject." Floyd sighs brusquely, and when Riddle looks over at him in confusion he realizes that Floyd is resolutely not looking in his direction. Instead he's watching the children playing again and rubbing at the back of his neck.

"Why would it be?"

"... Cause of your Ma."

Ah. No, that tracks. Truly, sometimes Floyd was too smart for his own good. He seemed to be better at reading Riddle's feelings before he was, sometimes.

"I see." Riddle hums. His mom... he hadn't really thought about that. In fairness, he'd never thought of kids in general, though, either. He doesn't think he would be like his mother but... well, he's never really been in a parental role either. Sometimes he does catch himself saying something and hearing her voice coming out in place of his own. It makes him shudder a little every time, but surely that was a sign that he was trying to be better, right?

It's not exactly a comfortable silence between them, for the next few minutes as they take a seat at the table in the bakery and pull out their desserts. Floyd has barely picked at his tart, Riddle notes, as he chews his own slowly and considers what's on his mind. He glances back over at the field trip group as they finish getting their own treats and go trotting out the door chipperly.

"...Do you think I'm like her?"

Floyd snaps to attention, looking at Riddle like he'd grown a second head.

"What? No." Floyd frowns, gesturing with his hands and glaring at him as if he's personally offended that Riddle would compare himself to his own mother. "No."

"You think so?"

"This is a joke, right, Riddle?" Riddle can't help the slight quirk of his lips at the use of his real name, it's how he knew Floyd was being serious. "She would be too busy counting the calories in that tart to think about anything else."

"Mhm. And she would be arguing with the waitress right now and demanding the nutritional information from the waitress." Riddle places the last bite of his tart into his mouth to hide his smile.

"And then she would ask if they could substitute the flour for oats or sawdust or somethin' because it would be healthier."

"She would."

"And then she'd tell the whole school group off for letting those kids have that much sugar and how it's 'bad for their growing brains'."

"Yes. And she wouldn't try to do this." Riddle says, jabbing his fork toward Floyd's own tart, which Floyd preempts and slides it far enough across the table that it's out of his reach. Drat.

"Ooh, devious goldfishy~! Too slow." Floyd laughs, mood already improved noticeably, hand propping his head up against the table. Despite not letting him steal it, Floyd cuts a chunk off his own tart and holds it up for Riddle to eat. "You know, she would be screamin' her head off even seeing you eat one of these. Like food can be 'bad' even if it tastes good. You're nothin' like her."

Riddle accepts the offered bite, carefully tucking his hair behind his ear as he leans forward to eat it off the other's fork. He also, rather insistently, threads his fingers between Floyd's, trapping the fork between their hands. Floyd laughs at that, too.

"You make it hard to eat when you do that." Riddle merely smiles back impishly, daring Floyd to figure it out. He truly brings out the playful side of him.

He hums thoughtfully, wiping his mouth with his napkin politely as Floyd unwedges the fork from between their hands so he can eat with his opposite hand. Riddle watches him finally take a large bite of his tart, thumb absentmindedly stroking along the back of Floyd's thumb.

"You know what else she wouldn't do?"

"Mm?"

"She wouldn't be considering having a discussion with Floyd Leech when we get home about if he would like to have kids together." Riddle's nerves get the best of him, as he speaks it, so he hears rather than sees the fork clatter to the table and him start coughing as he inhales the mouthful of food.

"Floyd!?" Riddle panics, reaching for the other. As if sensing the rising panic, Floyd squeezes their linked fingers and manages to clear his throat.

"For real?" Floyd manages, voice rough and croaky but not matching the way his eyes look at him so adoringly. Riddle sighs, smiling fondly at Floyd and shaking his head.

"Yes, for real. I wouldn't tease you like that."

Floyd barely manages to push his tart out of the way of his body as he leans across the table with ease and loops his arms around Riddle with an emotive, disbelieving cry of 'goldfishy!'

Flustered at the public affection, Riddle pats his arm gently.

"Floyd, eat your tart before I eat it for you."

"You can have the tart, I've got all I need right here~."

"Disgusting." Riddle rolls his eyes, but that doesn't stop him from reaching over and stealing the tart.

It takes some discussion, but they do decide that they're ready. They're not married, but close enough given how long they've been together. (Besides, marriage isn't really all that common for people from the Coral Sea and Riddle has never really had much need for there to be a wedding to know that there is a commitment.) They're both financially stable and are in stable living conditions. They are in the best place mentally that they've ever been in their lives... if there was a time, they felt like the best time would be now.

As for the child... They actually have some pretty similar ideas of what they'd be looking for. They both agree that they would like to adopt a child that's a little older (think between 4-12ish) and if possible they would like to have a girl. Floyd wants a girl because he likes girls fashion and he wants to help her find her own sense of fashion and... Riddle because teenage boys are insufferable. He should know. He went to a school literally just for teenage boys.

It takes some talking, but they decide it's for the best to adopt a human. Despite their outward appearances, they are an interspecies couple, and Floyd knowing the difficulties with coming on land as a teen he explains that he just simply can't expect that of a child. The first time shifting from a merperson to a human is deeply uncomfortable and can sometimes even be painful depending on how big of an anatomy change you have to go through. (He distinctly remembers Azul's transformation being worse than his own.) It might get a bit easier after you have time to adjust for that, but he knows it would be terrifying and traumatic for someone anyone that young. Besides, they already live on land, so it works out to be easier than moving to the sea. (Riddle would be willing, but Floyd doesn't want to do that to him either. Besides, he likes shoes, damn it, he's not giving it up to go back to the sea.)

The caveat is, of course, that Floyd's own parents would have to transform to see their grandchild, but somehow Floyd imagines that they would be more than willing. (They already love Riddle even if they accidentally scare the shit out of him sometimes, so Floyd can only imagine how much they will want to spoil their child. And that isn't counting Jade or Azul or any of their other friends.)

The adoption process is slow, but not as slow as it could be because they are considered common law married by the Queendom of Roses.

Once they do eventually get through the adoption process and get their child home, Floyd and Riddle definitely have some things that they have to teach themselves pretty fast that don't come intuitively. Things like how to deal with a child's irrational fears, how to deal with tantrums, how to talk to them about hard questions, that sort of things.

Floyd is really good at the emotional side of things-- he's had years of dealing with his own fluctuating mood so he's good at teaching his kid ways to help talk themselves down when they're getting angry and how to talk themselves up when they're feeling low. He surprises Riddle with how unconditionally supportive he is (though Riddle supposes he's always been the same for him, so he shouldn't be too surprised). He's excellent at finding the right things to say when he needs to say them.

Riddle is great at the academic side of things. With him, it's not anything like his mother was-- his teaching is based on education and helping her to find what works for her. If she has a hard time learning something, he's great at finding a different method to teach her that clicks for her. He's also really good at teaching her how to be responsible and how to think critically and for herself. He never got that as a child, and he never wants her to enter a situation that she can't think through herself. God forbid she should ever feel that kind of pressure, but he thinks about his own overblot and feels like it's necessary for her to know how to step back and and look at a situation logically. He trusts Floyd to teach her how to handle the emotional part of it.

She loves them both, but she's definitely Floyd's little princess. Floyd adores her and spoils her rotten. Riddle has no objections because it's really sweet to watch how well he handles her and matches her energy.

She also loves uncle Jade and Azul. However, uncle Azul is never allowed to babysit because the last time he did, she tried to scam her schoolmates out of money.

Uncle Trey is fun too, and brings her a bunch of sugar and then bails. Riddle threatens to never let him over again, but Floyd had a lot of fun with it and ends up convincing Riddle to stop threatening to cut Trey out of his life over a goofy prank.

Probably the most difficult conversation that they have ever had to have with her was to explain why Grandma and Grandpa Leech visit but why grandma Rosehearts doesn't. Riddle and Floyd tackle that one together, Riddle explaining how his childhood was and Floyd stepping in to take over when he noticed Riddle was getting emotional. Of course there were questions about why and what kinds of things she did, and of course they didn't give her the nitty gritty, but it was enough for her to grasp it. She and Floyd wanted to snuggle Riddle that evening, so it ended up in Floyd and her falling asleep halfway through a movie, one on either side of Riddle.

[saintmachina]

Shipping fictional characters isn’t representative of your moral values. It’s representative of your particular psychic damage and the themes and motifs that haunt you. Hope this helps.

[sangled]

shipping win! they have different but equally terrible coping mechanisms

[rapidashrider]

The agonising feel when a character tag is full of shipping that you Simply Do Not Vibe With. The solution is, naturally, to keep scrolling. But the wince, the WINCE.

[brawnie]

*grabbing mlm shippers by the shoulders* guys nobody needs to be the twink. nobody needs to be the sub. nobody needs to be the femboy. they can both be big fat hairy men who bask in each others masculinity or they can both be unspeakable monstrous creatures with inhuman genitalia it’s okay I’m holding your hand. Let me show you the way

[aimandfire21]

People feel like they have to... Justify their ships now? When the hell did that start? Ask me why I ship something and it's like, the characters were in a room together one time. The fuck more do you expect from me?