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queenpiranhadon · 25 days

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Hello! You commented on my post about my dream request so here it goes...

Pro Hero! Dynamite is dating Underground Pro Hero! Y/N. He doesn't know she's a hero, doesn’t even know she has a quirk. She has a "job" where she can travel a lot; a model for Mitsuki & Masura (they know, because parent instincts). Anyway, YN gets sent on a lot of missions with Pro Hero! Deku since he's one of the few who likes working with everybody. Dynamite sees how close they are and is seething, and end ups turning it into a huge fight.

(i woke up at this point but pls make it comfort if you can)

thank you in advance!!🫶🏾🫶🏾

𖥔 ⎸⎸ 𝐆𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ⎸⎸ 𖥔

A/N: Idk if this is what you wanted but I loved this prompt so much!! Big thanks to @zanarkandskylines for beta reading and editing this I owe you so much 😭 Here's my masterlist! Divider made by @cafekitsune

Warning(s): f!reader, Katsuki and reader are dating. and they live together, reader is an underground pro hero with a pre-established quirk, mentions of blood, Katsuki thinks reader is cheating on him with Deku, angst to fluff, characters might be a little ooc, mentions of passing out, reader cries a lot, Katsuki does too, Katsuki almost kicks reader out, cursing, Katsuki calls reader princess.

Pairing: Pro Hero! Bakugou Katsuki x Underground Pro Hero! Reader

Shit.

Pain flares up in your abdomen as you try not to think about the blood gushing out of your side, as the taste of iron lines your taste buds, making you want to vomit.

You were on a mission with your close friend and pro hero, Deku, who you consider a friend till the end after endless mission assignments together. Your quirk, Rays, allowed you to control the lighting of any setting you were in- even if it were bright outside, you could plunge anything within a 100-mile radius into complete darkness if you chose to do. Along with that, you could illuminate anything within the same distance in the middle of the night. Your eyes would change colors while your quirk was active, growing lighter and darker with the lighting around you- a feature that allowed you to be hired as a model for Jiyū, a clothing company owned by renowned clothing designers, Mitsuki and Masaru Bakugou. They joked that that lighting always favored you during photoshoots, capturing your eyes in such an alluring way that it was almost like you were the one who made the clothing look exceptional. They’d often drop hints that you would, in fact, be a perfect fit for their hotheaded son. You’d laugh at their insistence, waving off their jokes. They never would guess the reason behind your choice of career path, especially as a secret pro hero.

You were an underground Pro Hero by the name of Sola – specializing in espionage and stealth, a major asset to Pro Hero Deku as you balanced his brute force with elegance and mobility. You loved your job, not ever having to need to be prominent on the Hero charts and found your reward through the knowledge that you were helping others. It was silly, you thought, to sneak around with a secret identity like all the books you read, unlike the Pro Heroes you knew that basked in attention. And even though you didn’t need people fawning over you 24/7, you still had one issue with all the secrecy.

That being your boyfriend, Katsuki Bakugou.

You loved him with your entire heart, and more, as he did you. The both of you got together a few months after the explosive blonde had graduated from UA, your relationship blowing up the tabloids with a bang as he climbed the hero rankings.

You trusted him with your life, and he trusted you with his heart, and yet you couldn’t tell him about your job as an underground pro hero.

This was one of the reasons why.

You hid behind a pillar in the abandoned warehouse you had caught a drug network alongside Pro Hero Deku. The both of you were tracking the pricks for months, coming home late every night with a new excuse to tell Katsuki. You knew it would burden him with worry, choosing to keep your secret hero identity just that - a secret, even from Katsuki. He couldn't worry about you when he had his own job as a Pro Hero to worry about.

Not to mention he wasn’t exactly on the best terms with the greenette you worked with constantly.

The fight ensued, you heard Deku’s grunts and the cracks of bones, no doubt his One for All in usage. You manipulated the light around him, effectively blinding your opponents while giving your partner the advantage of sight.

You were losing blood at a rapid pace, head becoming fuzzy as your body slumps to the floor, giving into the exhaustion from overuse of your quirk.

The last thing you heard before the world turned black was Deku’s triumphant call for you, reporting that all the villains were restrained.

When you woke up, you were in Izuku’s apartment, head hazy and your temples throbbed like they were being stabbed repeatedly by blunt needles.

You got up without a word, thanking Izuku for his hospitality before leaving to go home, brushing off his concerns and walking out his front door.

Anxiety gnawed at you on the taxi ride home, subconsciously fiddling with your shirt to make sure your bandages weren’t visible, and praying to whatever deity was watching over you that Katsuki wouldn’t notice.

You reached your apartment complex, taking a deep breath and settling for a somewhat content look, before inserting your keys into the lock and opening the door, basking in the familiar warmth of your shared home.

Spotting Katsuki at the kitchen stove, you creep up to him and wrap your arms around his waist, to which he stiffens, but you don’t think much of it as you tighten your arms around him.

“I’m home!” You sing, smushing your cheek against him but he says nothing.

Worry works its way through your mind, wondering why he wasn’t responding, until his gruff voice snaps you back into focus.

“Where were you.” he says, phrasing it like a statement, not a question.

Your heart drops into the pit of your stomach- does he know? Did Izuku tell him?

Wh-what?” A nervous laugh escapes you. Had you been caught? “I told you, I was in the US -”

“Cut the bullshit.” he snaps, and you let go of him – you can physically feel your heart snap in two. “Where. were. You."

“I...” you trail off, the words caught in your throat, willing the tears that threatened to spill not to fall.

You both stand there, wordless, staring at his eyes, full of pain.

“You never even loved me, did you?” he says, voice cracking full of emotion, your eyes widening.

“Katsuki no- I" You try to explain, but he cuts you off, the pounding in your head returning with the new rush of emotions.

“Just stop. Please. Leave and never come back.” He spits out, tears finally dripping down his face. “Go fucking be happy with shitty Deku because obviously he’s a better fucking boyfriend than me.”

He thought you were cheating on him. Those late nights coming home, prolonged trips without explanation- god you were so stupid.

You rush towards him, mind racing as you try to explain, try to fix things. You couldn’t lose him, you couldn’t- it would destroy you in ways unimaginable.

And yet, he pushed you away forcefully, making you cry out in pain as he contacts your wound in your side.

He almost stops breathing when he sees the blood, your blood, on his hands.

You panic, and he grabs you by the shoulders, lifting your shirt up to reveal the bandage wrapped around your torso that the blood managed to seep through.

“Kats-”

“Who fucking hurt you.” he growls, low and feral- all resentment from the previous conversation melting away with the realization that you weren’t with Deku – or at least in the way he thought.

“I’m an Underground Pro Hero.” You whisper, a desperate attempt to mask your feelings as you curl into yourself. You can’t risk looking up at Katsuki and seeing his reaction.

“You what- fuck, you have a quirk?!” He looks at you, eyes wide.

You nod hesitantly, his vermilion stare meeting your own, attempting to assess what else you could be hiding from him.

“I wasn’t allowed to tell you- the Commision wouldn’t let me, I wanted to tell you so bad Katsuki, but I knew you had so much on your plate, and I didn’t want to bother you, and-” you break down, Katsuki cutting you off as he encircles you in his arms, consoling you silently, letting your distraught form melt into his embrace.

Heaving sobs turned into choking cries, which dwindled into sniffles that lead to silence. You’d drifted off, cried yourself into a sleepy daze while he carefully cradled you in the kitchen. His own guilt ate away at him- he understood your situation, the Commission was as unsympathetic to a hero’s situation as the League was to anything. But it still hurt, that stupid Deku knew about your status as a Pro Hero before he did. He shook his head, dispersing his feelings. He hated himself for his words, for assuming the worst and thinking you were capable of doing something so low. Running his fingertips over your bandages gingerly, a pang of worry struck through him. He wiped the tears off his face, and then yours, lifting your sleeping form and headed for your bedroom.

Right now, he needed to take care of you.

Changing you out of your clothes, he settles you into one of your favorite worn out shirts of his, tucking you into bed before getting ready to sleep himself.

He joins you in bed, heaving a shaky breath after everything, wrapping his arms around you, one hand placed on the back of your head and the other on the small of your back, holding you against his chest like you were made of porcelain - too scared to let you go, but scared of breaking you, too.

“Goodnight, princess.”

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catt-leya · 1 year

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Mistress || Rick Grimes 18+ ❣Darker❣

First of all: Some parts of that fic are bothering me but I edited it 1000 times and I honestly can't stand to read it another time so I'm sorry 👉🏼👈🏼💗

AND I think I tagged everyone who wanted to be tagged...if I forgot somebody please leave a comment and I'll write it down for my next fic 🥺💗 it wasn't on purpose I just lost track 👉🏼👈🏼💗

Ah and that gif hm? It's doing something with me...

Summary: You're Negans daughter and Rick uses you for his advantage and as his reward.

Trigger: cnc❣, spanking, dirty talk, choking, praise kink, degradation, humiliation, age difference (no minors), oral fixation and my usual smutty stuff

You try to resist the iron grip of the guy behind you, but he unblinkingly drags you to the car waiting for him and you plead, "Let go of me, please."

Undeterred, he growls, "I most certainly will not."

This morning you were assigned to a base of your group and when you arrived at the building, it was already overrun by the assholes from out of Alexandria and you were about to leave to report to Negan, when you ran straight into the broad chest of this guy who has now tied your hands behind your back and is pushing you into the passenger seat.

You have no choice but to stare angrily at the guy with the blue eyes, and as he climbs into the driver's seat, you ask, "Where are you taking me?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him glance at you briefly before muttering, "You'll see."

The guy starts the car and you slide around on the seat to make it more comfortable with your hands tied behind your back.

The more you look at the guy next to you, the more nervous you get. Yes, he could have killed you right there like the others, especially since you didn't even see him coming, but he didn't and you don't know if you might not be better off dead.

You bite your lower lip as you think about how you could get out of the situation, but the blue-eyed guy is much bigger than you and you doubt you would have a serious chance against him.

That's why you sigh softly and ask, "Will you at least tell me your name?"

You get a simple "no" and could hit the roof in frustration.

If only you had just said you wanted to support another base this morning or not gotten up at all.

Instead, you're sitting in a car driven by a complete stranger who is now steering the car to a group of other cars.

Frantically, you try to catch a glimpse of the people in the other cars, but the cars are so staggered that you have no way of making out more than the reflection of the trees around you.

Questioning, you look to your driver because he turns off the engine and keeps his gaze out of the window.

Confused, you lean forward to see better.

All the cars have turned off their engines and you could swear that they are all looking in the same direction.

With a furrowed brow and your body tense with curiosity, you follow Mister Nameless' gaze and then raise your eyebrows in surprise when you see a guy on the hill sneaking up behind one of your colleagues.

You'd love to scream for him to turn around, but that's when it happens.

Your colleague turns around, but by then it's too late and the guy stabs him.

You want to scream and avert your eyes, but you can't do anything but stare as the guy grabs your colleague and friend by the neck and just throws him to the ground.

He lies bleeding on the grass and the guy who did this to him lifts his chin arrogantly and says something you can't hear.

As he turns his back on your bleeding friend, you start tugging at your bonds and hiss, "No, no, no."

The guy had the balls to do this on his own and it's not until he lets go of the walker, who's tied to a post so he can pounce on your colleague, that you realize the shit you're in.

The cars are started and you look at your driver who, like everyone else, is heading towards the guy who is now coming back down the hill.

You can't take your eyes off the man who is moving towards the cars with such confidence, as if he owns the world.

He has a certain charisma that you've seen a lot with Negan, too. Except that with Negan it's often accompanied with a lot of humor and levity, and the guy in the gray shirt doesn't look like humor is his secret weapon.

With him, it looks more like he wants to rip out the throat of anyone who gets in his way with his teeth.

You can't suppress a tremor as he gets close enough to your car and his hard stare lands on you through the windshield.

Your passenger gets out and walks up to the man in gray, "Rick, the base is taken and I found the woman by accident at the very end when I was heading back to the car."

Rick?

Rick.

Of course!

So this is the leader of Alexandria that Negan told you about. You've never seen him with your own eyes because Negan never allowed you to come along when he was with them, but he said that this Rick wasn't sane.

In fact, you saw respect in Negan's eyes when he spoke of Rick, which doesn't make you loosen up now, especially since Rick now asks in a low voice, "Then why is she still breathing?"

Panicked, you try to loosen the restraints one more time.

"Take a good look at her. Don't you notice anything?"

Your driver nods in your direction and when Rick looks back into your face through the glass, you are frozen.

The restraints are forgotten and you can't stop looking into his beautiful blue eyes.

Sure, the guy who drove you here had blue eyes too, but damn, they weren't even close to that beautiful.

Rick's dark hair and gray beard make them look more intense and you have to pull yourself together not to start drooling because he's generally incredibly handsome.

Shit, maybe the most beautiful man you've ever seen.

His gaze is glued on you and he tilts his head slightly when you suddenly see realization flash in his eyes and he starts to move.

Rick approaches the car and you try to slide as far away from the door as you can, but he pulls the door open and grabs your arm with ease, dragging you outside.

Stomping, you try to fight him off, but he remains completely unimpressed and pushes you to your knees in front of him.

It's so easy for him to push you around that tears come to your eyes as you look up at him.

You have no chance to get out of the situation and clench your teeth tightly as he slides his gaze over you again in the light of the sun, "You're his daughter."

It's not a question, but a simple statement that still makes you cringe, not knowing if that very thing would be your death sentence or if the fact that Negan is your father will save your life.

Tears run down your cheeks and yet Rick can clearly see the resemblance between you and your father.

When he looks at you, he can see your father in you and nevertheless he can't deny that he likes having you on his knees.

Your big eyes look at him pleadingly and at the sight his cock presses hard against his pants.

Fuck, you're so incredibly young and beautiful.

The way he's looking at you makes you feel uneasy, and all dignity is flushed from your body as you push your bottom lip forward and sniffle, "Rick? Right? Please let me go. I promise I won't say a word about what I saw here."

He lifts his head to look at the round of people gathered around you, and you take advantage of the brief moment when his piercing eyes aren't on you to eye him, but you immediately jerk your head back up as your eyes land on the slight bulge in his pants.

That's when you'd rather watch his chest widen as he takes a deep breath and announces to everyone, "Nothing changes in the plan. We're going ahead."

Kneeling, you turn your head and watch the others nod and head to their cars, the guy who brought you here also leaving you, and in that moment you miss the quiet assurance that he wouldn't have hurt you.

Looking back up at Rick, you're not sure what's going to happen and you just start crying harder.

It's always been that way.

Whenever you're scared, you can't hold it in, and now you're scared to death.

You're still kneeling in front of him when you hear the cars slowly pulling away and you try again, "Please, I just want to go home."

With dark eyes, Rick reaches out to touch your face and you wince as he brushes the tears from your cheeks with his thumb.

"Oh, I'll take you home, princess."

He grabs your hair and tugs up on it, making your scalp burn and you cry again, "Please don't."

His hand moves to the back of your neck and his fingers dig into your skin, "You don't even know what I'm going to do to you yet."

Anything but gently, he pushes you back toward the car and presses your small body against the cool metal, making you shiver again.

Rick's body is close behind you, but not close enough to touch you, and you squint your eyes as his deep voice reaches your ear, "I'm sure you want to make yourself useful in order to survive. Do I see that right?"

Sniffling, you nod, already having an idea of what he would ask of you.

But he grumbles, "Smart girl."

His hand slides from the back of your neck to the small of your back, and blush colors your cheeks as you notice your lower belly clench expectantly.

Through his flat palm on your back, he can feel you trembling in fear of him and that makes him smile.

It will be so easy to break you.

Slowly he presses himself against you and the feeling of your round ass against his hard cock makes him hum with satisfaction.

Your body is pure perfection and your huge fear of him has been apparent to him since the first time he saw you, which only makes everything that much easier for him.

Gently, he rubs against your ass and then murmurs harshly, "You do what I want you to do."

You lower your head and whisper a soft, "Yes."

Your fingertips graze his belt buckle as he rubs his cock against you, and your heart hammers in your chest as he leans in and whispers in your ear, "Like I said, I'm driving you home. Only now you're mine and I'm going to show that to your father. You won't do anything that I won't like, and if you're a good girl, you'll stay alive."

Before you can respond, he pulls back and drags you by the upper arm into the passenger seat.

With flushed cheeks, you watch him walk around the car and drop into the driver's seat next to you.

You swallow hard, not daring to take your eyes off him as he pulls up, afraid he'll take advantage of your inattention.

Your eyes are glued to his profile and you can't stop wondering if his hair is as soft as it looks.

You wonder how long his hair would be if you smoothed out the curls at the nape of his neck.

He raises an eyebrow and without looking at you, he asks, "Would you like to touch me?"

Hectically, you tear your eyes away from his face and direct your gaze to his hands on the steering wheel. Bottom line: this isn't much better.

Your voice betrays you as you mutter, "No."

A small laugh slips from Rick's lips because he can still feel your gaze on him.

He knows for a fact that you're afraid of him, but it's not all you feel.

He can't believe how lucky he is to have you run into his arms, and he'd be out of his mind if he didn't use that luck to drive Negan up the wall.

Looking out the window in disbelief as you see what Rick's people have set up outside the Sanctuary, you whisper, "Oh my God."

Cars reinforced with metal walls are parked in front of the main entrance and everyone is heavily armed.

Panicked, your eyes search for your father, but you can't see him anywhere.

Not yet.

Rick's raspy voice reaches your ear as you still stare at your home, "Remember what I told you. Don't do anything that would make me punish you."

You nod and tears come to your eyes again.

As Rick takes you out of the car you do exactly what he asks and don't resist his grip.

You don't resist as he brushes a few strands of hair from your face and stay close to him as he asks you to.

A short time later, you hear your father's voice and close your eyes tightly.

Your father doesn't take Rick seriously and you can hear that very clearly.

Carefully, you look over at Rick, who keeps his beautiful blue eyes fixed on Negan, "I found something on the way here."

Your father laughs, "What? A fucking bucket of gold?"

Rick juts his chin, "Better."

Blindly, he reaches for you and you let him pull you in front of him.

Immediately your eyes land on your father, all features slipping from his face.

He stares at you like you're an apparition and you can see the panic in his eyes as Rick places a hand on your lower stomach and hugs you tightly to his body, "What a coincidence, huh?"

Negan takes a step forward, "Let her go, you bastard."

You can't look your father in the eye as Rick slides his second hand over your shoulder and calls out in amusement, "Why should I? She seems to like it with me."

His hand closes around your jaw and he presses a finger against your trembling lips.

You know what he wants you to do, but you can't bring yourself to do it.

That's when he squeezes harder and hisses so only you can hear: "Princess."

You want to live. You really do.

That's why you open your mouth and Rick slides his finger into your mouth.

He's not worried about you biting because you're way too scared of him to dare.

That's why he just smiles at Negan, "She likes it a lot. She has talents you don't know about."

It's so incredibly inappropriate and humiliating, but his body against your back and his finger in your mouth makes you squeeze your thighs together unobtrusively and more as a reflex you start sucking on his finger.

Surprised, he straightens up a little further and slides a second finger into your mouth, mumbling softly, "That's my good girl."

Your eyes are fixed on the floor in front of you and you continue to suck submissively on his fingers.

By itself, his touches aren't very sexual, but when he then slides his hand under your shirt, Negan bellows, "I'll chop your hands off, you sick asshole. She's just a kid."

Confusingly gentle, he pulls his fingers out of your mouth and says loud enough for everyone to hear, "Please tell everyone how old you are, princess."

Rick has his sources and has known since before you were found by his people that Negan has a 23 year old daughter, so it doesn't surprise him when you murmur, "23."

His fingers dig into your skin and you repeat louder, "23, Rick."

The hand on your skin is warm and you get goosebumps as he pushes it a little higher, "And trust me. The things she can do are appropriate for her age."

Oh God, his hand feels so good on your body that you press a little further against him and he murmurs, "Princess, you make me proud."

Your head is spinning and just as you're about to lift your head to look Negan in the eye, Rick shoves you behind a metal wall and raises his voice, "Do you really wanna make me count?"

It all happens so fast.

At first everything is calm, until then all hell breaks loose.

Still with your hands bound, you let yourself slide to the floor and try to make yourself as small as you can.

Your gaze is fixed on Rick and you pray with every shot that it doesn't hit your father.

Wildly, Rick jerks his head around and yells over the din of the coming walkers, "Get up."

Unsteady as a newborn, you get to your feet and he grabs you by the arm to drag you back to a car.

Shots are still falling and you pull your head in as best you can to avoid getting hit as Rick practically throws you into the back seat of a car.

Because of your bound hands, you land ungently on your stomach and can't get up either.

The only thing you can somehow manage is to turn your head so that you can catch a glimpse of a woman steering the car and Rick sitting in the passenger seat, tensely trying to see something through the window.

You suspect he's trying to find your father, but the harder he searches, the more you relax.

He is alive. He must be alive.

In fact, that's your only hope of getting away from Rick and his people.

After some time, you clear your throat softly, "Rick?" As you do so, you try to keep your voice as soft and innocent as you possibly can.

He doesn't turn in your direction, but you hear a soft "Huh?" which you take as a quiet agreement that you may continue speaking, "Could you take off my shackles. I promise not to do anything you wouldn't want me to do."

Deliberately, you use words similar to what he used earlier and you hear him sigh softly in response, "Connie? Will you stop for a minute?"

The woman asks no questions and stops in the middle of the street, allowing Rick to get out.

You don't see him walk around the car, but he pulls the door open behind Connie and slides into the back seat, lifting your upper body and placing you on his legs, "You can drive."

Connie does as he says and he leans over you to untie your bonds.

As he does, your nose presses into his thigh and you whimper softly as you feel Rick tense beneath you.

His hands reach for the rope holding yours bound and he tries not to think about how hard you're breathing into his crotch and the sounds you make every time he moves even minimally.

He knew it would be easy to subdue you.

But he didn't expect it to be SO easy.

As gently as he can, he unties the rope from your slender wrists and immediately you sit up and slide as far away from him as you can.

Amused, he raises his eyebrows, especially since not too long ago you were pressing your ass against him.

Your eyes are huge and completely focused on him, and some dirty thoughts nestle in his head at the sight.

Slowly he lets his eyes wander a little lower, where your breasts press against your thin top with every frantic breath, leaving little to the imagination.

The fact that his blue eyes undress you with his gaze alone doesn't make you feel any calmer in the passenger seat and you take a deep breath, "What are you going to do to me?"

That's the question you've been asking yourself all along, and when he looks you in the face again, you're not sure you should like what you see in them so much.

His eyes are veiled and the way he tilts his head forces you to squeeze your thighs together again, which of course doesn't escape his notice and he grumbles harshly, "You'll see."

He doesn't try to pull you closer, or talk to you further.

Instead, you all wait for the gate of Alexandria to appear before you.

You, especially, are waiting for it because you've never seen it before.

Your father had enough reasons not to let you near it, except that all his caution couldn't prevent you from walking through the streets of Alexandria with Rick's hand low on your back.

You are hyper aware of Rick's presence, but his hand on your body can't stop you from turning your head in all directions to see as much as you can.

You've seen only a few of the communities that work with your father, but you like Alexandria best of all.

It looks like a cute little town, and you're so distracted by it that you barely notice Rick sliding his hand from your back to your hip, pulling you even closer to him.

Your body feels so good in his hands that he has to pull himself together not to groan out loud on the spot and clenches his teeth tightly.

He takes it up a notch and pushes you toward his house.

When it gets through to you where he's leading you, the curiosity is suddenly completely gone and you resist his grip around your waist, "Wait."

Unmoved, he pushes you further toward the door and you panic.

Being alone with him doesn't feel right and more than dangerous.

Especially with locked doors and the way he looks at you makes you nervous and you brace yourself with all your strength against him, "Please don't."

Sighing, he stops and rolls his eyes before he drops a bit and just throws you over his shoulder. You don't even have enough time to react before he stomps through the front door and as it slams into the lock, you finally start to fidget.

Like a fish out of water, you struggle and tearfully cry, "Put me down."

Rick grips your thighs tighter and has to stifle a laugh as you try unsuccessfully to free yourself from him.

At your wriggling, your pretty breasts keep pressing against his shoulder and he can't resist the urge to close his free hand around your thighs as well, except he lets his hand wander between them.

His hand is still a few inches away from your crotch, but even so, you immediately become very still and wait for what he would do next.

Your body is treacherous and when you notice your pussy clench expectantly because his big hand is so close, you grit your teeth and try to straighten up.

At that moment, he withdraws his hand before you feel it hard on your ass.

He hit you! He actually hit you!

Outraged and humiliated, you gasp, "Put me down."

Never would you admit that the sharp pain went right between your legs.

So you push yourself back up, Rick rolls her eyes and slaps your ass, harder this time, and at your soft whimper in response, his cock twitches in his pants, “Stop it.”

It's ridiculous how hard you try to get away from him because you wouldn't stand a chance anyway.

Especially because he knows you like it.

He steers you to his room with you on his shoulder and throws you on his bed.

Immediately your eyes are on him again, as if you were a deer in headlights, and only when he starts to unbutton his shirt do you lower your gaze.

Trembling, you sit on his bed and don't dare to look at him because you don't want him to read in your face how much you want to touch his bare chest.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see his shirt slide to the floor and you risk a little peek through your eyelashes.

His pants sit low on his hips and you briefly wonder how a belly button can be so beautiful.

Your eyes wander a little higher, over his scars on his left side and up to his collarbone.

God, even his collarbone is kneeling.

A soft moan slips from your lips and Rick takes a small step towards you, "Come here."

Carefully, you look him in the eye and can see the desire.

The man wants you badly and you're pretty sure it's mostly because you're the daughter of his enemy.

Rick raises an eyebrow challengingly. All you're supposed to do is try to resist him and put him to the test. You'll end up begging him to have his cock inside you.

Rick wants to defile you and break you.

Hell, he wants you to beg to be his.

He wants you to beg to touch him.

He wants you to beg him in tears to be fucked by him.

Afraid he'll pounce on you if you resist him, you slowly stand up and take a small step in his direction so you're only inches apart.

He lifts a hand and slowly runs it through your soft hair. You are so damn beautiful and pure innocence, which only turns him on more.

Gently he pulls your hair and you swallow hard as he leans in and his lips graze your pounding pulse, "You were a good girl today, princess. Did exactly what I expected of you and then some. Would you like a reward for that?"

'Oh God' is all that goes through your mind as he spreads hot kisses on your neck and you clench your hands into fists to resist the urge to touch his flat stomach.

Rick takes another small step toward you and now your breasts are pressed against his torso.

You feel his tongue sliding over your neck and you can't suppress a soft gasp, making him growl, "Well?"

At that, he grabs your hands and forces your small fists to unclench, pressing your palms to his bare skin.

He's hot and feels so incredibly good under your fingertips, but you force yourself to say, "No." And feel Rick's hands just below your breasts, "Are you sure, princess?"

Your fingers brush over his belly and you notice his stomach muscles tighten the closer you get to his pants.

Your touch is so light and innocent that Rick almost loses his mind, and as he takes a deep breath to bring himself under control, your scent goes to his head.

Shit, you smell so good, he'd like to press his nose into your skin the whole time.

His beard scratches your skin as you murmur in a low voice, "I'm sure."

Slowly, he lifts his head and looks down at you lasciviously as he purrs, "Then I'm just picking up my own reward for today."

Confused, you frown as he's already grabbing your waist and lifting you back onto the bed behind you.

He pushes you onto your back and you cry out in panic as you feel his weight on your body.

Rick is heavy as hell and you can only move minimally under him, which you might have actually liked under other circumstances...okay yeah, maybe you like it under these circumstances.

His hips are between your thighs and you can feel his cock between your legs.

At that, you're pretty sure he's big.

Bigger than you can handle.

Without a second thought, Rick reaches for your hands, which still linger on his stomach, and holds them above your head.

With huge eyes, you look back up at him and would love to brush some of his strands of hair that have fallen forward out of his handsome face.

You should be scared.

You should be screaming.

But all you can bring to your lips is, "Am I your reward?"

Quietly, Rick laughs out, "Would you like to be my reward, princess?"

You bite your lower lip and lower your gaze to his lips before muttering, "No."

Rick slides his free hand down your body to your pants, then mumbles softly, "Well, I'll just take it then."

You don't resist a bit as he undoes the button from your pants, moaning softly as he shifts his weight in the process and his cock presses into just the right spot.

He slides his hand down your pants and your whole body rears up at the first contact. His fingers run through the wetness he's been provoking all day and he hums softly, "You know, I only had to look at you once and I knew it would be easy to get you."

Fluttering, your eyes fall shut and he barks, "Look at me."

Immediately you open your eyes and look into his blue eyes that caught your eye in the first few seconds.

Slowly he draws circles around your clit: "The way you looked at me, princess. The way you're looking at me now. That is enough for me."

Your hips jerk up to meet his fingers, but his touch remains light, "You're mine now."

Shuddering, you take a breath as your pussy clenches for nothing, begging to clasp his fingers.

As if of their own accord, your legs lift and wrap around Rick's waist to pull him closer to you, and as a small reward, he runs his finger around your entrance, "You say you don't want to, but your body says something completely different."

You lower your gaze to his tanned arm reaching between your thighs and whisper again, "Don't."

That's when he slides a finger inside you and you moan his name.

He holds your arms tightly together above your head and can't take his eyes off the blush that's slowly working its way up your cleavage to your neck.

You look so beautiful as you try to squirm on the cool sheets, trying to escape his grip while wanting more from him.

His whole body screams to just pounce on you as your wetness spreads all over his hand, but he has other plans.

Your pussy clamps around his fingers and he laughs hoarsely, "So you want me to stop even though I can barely move my fingers because this little pussy wants to keep me so bad. How pathetic."

His finger strokes your warm walls and you moan, "Rick, please."

His thumb presses down on your clit and you press your head firmly into the mattress beneath you as you feel your belly growing warmer and forming a knot.

You barely notice when he lets go of your hands and wraps his hand around your neck instead.

Your thoughts only circle around the sensation he can invoke between your legs, and each time you clench tighter around his fingers.

What more could he want than to squeeze the air out of you while fingering you?

What could be better than feeling your pulse beat on both ends?

Gasping and struggling for air, you look him in the eye again and thrust your hips towards him, but just at the moment you think you're going to burst into a thousand pieces, he pulls his hand away from you and you howl, "No, no, no."

Slowly he lets go of you and shoves the finger that was inside you into his mouth before taunting you, "You made a mess, princess."

His hand shines with wetness and your cheeks blush even more as you imagine what you must look like between your thighs.

With embarrassment, you try to squeeze your legs together, but he just shakes his head arrogantly, "Nah. I want my reward."

You barely recognize your own voice as you croak, "I don't want to, Rick."

Your head knows full well that you shouldn't want him.

He's kidnapped you and forced you into his bed, but you also can't deny that your body aches for him and wants to feel his cock.

Preferably so deep inside you that you would never let another one between your legs again.

Grinning, he looks down at you because you say you don't want to and your now free hands still try to reach for him.

He leans back enough to grab your waist and turn you onto your stomach, where you immediately try to straighten up. But he puts a hand between your shoulder blades, holding you down with ease.

It is at that moment that you realize how much stronger he is and what an inescapable position you are actually in.

Cockily, he murmurs, "On your knees. Just your knees."

You bite your lower lip, knowing exactly what's coming as soon as you press your butt against his cock.

Awkwardly, you somehow slide onto your knees and he praises you, "Good girl. Doing exactly what I ask of you."

Rick removes his hand from your body and notes with satisfaction that you don't move an inch, closing your eyes in shame as your arousal slowly runs down your thighs and Rick can clearly see it.

Groaning, he puts his head back in his neck and his cock twitches in anticipation of entering you.

With his finger he has already felt how tight and willing you are, but the thought of sinking his cock into that pussy makes his heart beat fast.

The wetness runs down your thighs as you hear Rick undo his belt and pants.

For a brief moment, nothing happens and the only things you hear are your frantic breaths and your pounding heart.

But when you want to open your eyes, you already feel Rick's hand on your neck and his hard cock on your most intimate place.

With a jerk you push yourself towards him and whimper softly.

He feels so hot and hard against your swollen labia that you barely notice him teasing you, "I thought you didn't want to. Well, I'd say it's too late to change your mind now."

Confused because you thought he was going to fuck you, you frown, but before you can ask what he means, you feel it.

The hand that isn't on your neck has his cock in it, and he's jerking off while just pressing his tip against your pulsing entrance.

He doesn't penetrate you and that only makes you more desperate.

It takes all his willpower not to fuck your sloppy pussy, but the way you immediately start gyrating your hips to get him to penetrate you deeper is reward enough.

Moaning, you try to get him to take you, but you're so unsuccessful that it brings tears to your eyes again and he taunts you, "So you do want my cock?"

Instead of answering you try to press yourself further against him again, but you have no chance and the tears of humiliation fall on Rick's bed sheets.

His hand keeps slapping against your thigh as he continues to jerk off with pleasure and then wraps his hand from your neck around your chin and then slides two fingers between your open lips again.

Muffled, you moan out and he growls, "If you don't want to talk, I guess you'd best use your mouth to suck on my fingers, huh? That's what you want. Like in front of your father when you couldn't stop. Do you like being used by me?"

Completely out of it, you nod and he hisses, "Speak."

Muffled by arousal and his fingers, you moan, "Yes, Rick." Before you go back to sucking on his fingers in your mouth, barely thinking straight.

You have no idea if the wetness on your pussy is from you, or his precum mixing with your arousal, but you're ready to beg him.

Begging and pleading with him to fuck you.

Just what he's wanted from you all along.

With his fingers in your mouth, you beg, "Please Rick." And he laughs softly, "You want me to fuck your sloppy pussy?"

Hectically, you nod and whimper, "Yes."

He moves forward an inch and immediately your pussy clenches begging and he mocks you, "Are you my good girl?"

All dignity is flushed from your bones and you cry, "Yes, yes, yes. I'm your good girl. I-" With one thrust he penetrates you and your long drawn out moan fills the room.

He's so big and hard inside you that you feel like he's tearing you apart from the inside, and yet you try to get more of him inside you, gyrating your hips again.

You're so insanely tight that Rick briefly feels like he's going to pass out before he blinks and looks down at your trembling body begging to be fucked through and that's all it takes for him to pull back a little and then thrust hard into you again.

He pulls his fingers out of your mouth and tugs you up by your hair enough to murmur, "So nice and tight for me" in your ear murmur and in response you pulsate expectantly on his cock.

He thrusts into you again, "And willing."

You're so full and wet that you can barely bring more than his name past your lips as he lowers a hand to your clit, turning you to wax in his hands. His deep thrusts are everything you can think about and every time he hits that one spot inside you, you cry out in pleasure.

Gently, he sucks on your earlobe and murmurs, "Now, princess."

Rick clenches his teeth tightly as you hoarsely scream his name and your whole body tenses. He doesn't know any different and lingers inside you as you come on the fullness inside you and can't stop pressing yourself tighter and tighter against the man behind you.

His warm and big body behind you makes you go weak and as you hear him growl "Fuck," you moan his name and he growls, "Fuck, you were made for me."

And that's when you feel him twitch inside you and his thrusts become messy and erratic.

Breathless, you turn your head and as you see the pure arousal in his eyes you reach for his hand and intertwine your fingers with his.

As you do so, his body falls forward, burying you beneath him.

Gasping, he rolls off you and you cling to his hand as if it were your lifeline as you try to catch your breath.

You turn your head to the side to look at him and groan again as you see his chest rising and falling rapidly and how his curls lie around him on the bed like a halo.

Immediately he turns his head too and raises an eyebrow questioningly, and the only thing you can bring past your lips is, "You haven't kissed me once."

He shrugs, "So what? I wanted to fuck you."

You don't know what he sees in your eyes, but it makes him sigh softly and lean in to place his lips on your pout.

The kiss is incredibly gentle in contrast to his words and actions, and you lift your upper body to meet his.

Gently, he lets his tongue slide over your lower lip and you willingly open your mouth to him, which he immediately takes advantage of, making you sigh softly before he moves away from you and you follow him to reunite his lips with yours.

But he shakes his head, "That's enough."

Sluggishly, you drop back onto the bed and he hums softly, "Get dressed."

Questioningly, you look at him and he rules, "What did I say?"

Immediately you slide off the bed to put on your pants as he looks up at you lying in bed and grins, "Good girl." Because he knows you'll do anything for him.

@hail-yourselves @bean-is-reading @chanlvr2 @criminalwalkingsupernatural @sunshinevirus @toxic-ink @kingtwhiddleston @bloodycherry22 @vane28282 @bamslover @revesephemeres @emo-potato-virgil @tropodyn @mrsashleybarnes18-blog @igotbasicdrag @starsaroundmyscxrss @moonshine147 @1-800-isabellapotter @starkstiless @marvelfan789 @eternalrose81 @daryl-dixons-crazy-woman

(If anyone else would like to be tagged, just let me know 💗)

#rick grimes #rick grimes smut #rick grimes x reader #dark rick #twd #rick grimes imagine #twd x reader #the walking dead #andrew lincoln

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hardpacker · 2 months

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i did an interview yday and i sort of touched on this but not all of it, so i'm sharing these notes

i draw and write what i do because i want my work to look like me and i want to see me in it.

i'm not good at letting gender be a "vibe" or a "moodboard", intangible like that. in fact "my gender is __ even though i don't look like it, yeah it's my ‘aesthetic’" is pretty distressing for me. lack of embodiment and living exclusively thru projection/formless reflection is distressing. the queerness and queer sex i was formatively exposed to and gravitated toward was... classic, hard, hairy, leathery and even difficult to pin down with titles but still highly physical, or elicited that response/impulse in me. a lot of memories are lost to me and i don't know how to recover them— and so much time spent without another soul to reflect on it. i remember the first internet porno spam i saw. leafing thru erotic coffee table erotica. European comics about bears and twinks hooking up on the Mediterranean. Blixa Bargeld's strap-on harness. wet messy yaoi. but little for me to Be, in a real way.

it's so fucked and also only a teeny tiny example of a far bigger thing but i'll always remember when i first posted a picture of myself on deviantart, i think i was like 15 or 16, and people were like "oh i expected someone skinnier." this clearly really stayed with me, and it isn't an outlier. although it didn't shift anything then, things like this built up over time and my relationship to/presence in my work very slowly evolved. socially and in school, from the top down or among peers, there was no incentive or encouragement to draw trans people, fat people, anyone outside of stock shit, at all. you could work and labour and be rewarded for breaking yourself in half, all the while it's happening in a viciously transphobic environment.

over the years things have changed for better and worse as we pursue "representation" and "visibility," but i was really burnt by fluctuations in online culture that lead to trans men having to Be One Thing with either proper scars and muscle, or a textureless circle, and the sex they have is supposed to be smooth and tearful and deferential in service to the man or woman— or image of masculinity/femininity— they're with. and you still get fucking harasses for venturing outside of this, both in the work and as a real living person. i'd rather just be called a woman or a slur because at least that's an honest reaction, and not this cruelty, pity, disguised as care.

however, i also want to say that i was never given the benefit of the doubt that i was sweet and small and shy. there are the benefits of whiteness, certainly. but not transness. i've never been treated that way or protected by it. not with friends or family or police or the court. i don't think "sweetness" is neutral or that it's the most pressing issue that trans men face. being ill is its own strange degendering or forcibly gendered experience. being fat and ugly is its own degendering experience in which i have more in common with fat people of all genders. being seen as violent, visibility of transition only increasing this baseless expectation, that you can turn on a dime, that it's all harm or just plain difficulty waiting to happen and that's justification for being treated as an unreliable narrator of your own needs, your own life, that you need to rein it in or someone needs to control you to set you right. and that most of this is not seen, is a bigger problem than this strange idea of sweetness, this strange idea of being protected by your transness. protected by your assigned birth. do not remind me of my assigned birth. i'm trans because i'm not that. the people who DO benefit from protection in life, their visibility is like, completely disproportionate versus the reality.

if it is as big an issue as they say, then i think about like... if children are the most vulnerable people then being seen as a permanent and incapable child— especially at the intersection of things like fatness and neurodivergence, for example, where you're seen as untrustworthy, clearly can't take care of yourself— as property, but also as a womb, as a body for taking, facing domestic, sexual, medical abuse and neglect, homelessness and forced hospitalisation... death. revulsion, abuse and murder aren't the results of supposed smol beanification. it feels so mythological to me. so yeah i wasn't aware this was the way other people characterised us til mid-2010s tumblr— in which i learned in past tense that there was some pervasive way of handling us. i admit there are times i certainly would've liked to have been protected. but this idea of meek non-threatening sweetness (and, perhaps, wielding that like a threat when convenient) fell completely flat to me and many of my friends, especially ones working-class and nonwhite, or mentally ill in socially unacceptable ways, or with bodies seen as too sexual or built too big... so, aggressive, ha ha.

so i don't show this in my art either, not currently. it's alien. it is a concept i'm aware of only thru a game of telephone.

i show trans men being misgendered and deadnamed and pushed and pulled, the dressage, touched and beaten and abandoned. i've been told that portraying the real things we go through is tantamount to me committing those very same hate crimes and i've been told my work just has a “bad vibe” on sight. yes i do show trans men being punished from all sides despite every effort to ping pong between everyone's preferences. the exhaustion of trying over and over only to fail to please and suffer the consequences of abstaining, or giving themselves over to the performance forever until they burn out. art is play the way leather is play. and in my work trans men can be found both suffering from and playing with roles and expectations, the violence, reenacting these sources of trauma among each other.

#writing #trans #butch #SUPERPOSE #transphobia #t4t #trans men

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martian-garden · 2 years

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(Brief content warning for appetite disregulation and talking about eating habits)

So in light of ADHDAlien's cool posts and some of my ADHD friends and family starting college or being newly diagnosed, let me, a whole ass adult (somehow?) with a job, also share what has helped me with my ADHD so far! Conversation time!

Background: I was diagnosed at 7 and prescribed methylphenidate 18mg ER, starting immediately upon diagnosis and having maintained the same dose except for during college, where I scooted up to 20. I'm very responsive to medication of any kind, and higher doses make me uncomfortable physically, so be aware that this is the babiest of baby doses. Ritalin has a stronger effect with less intensity than Adderall, and for people who have severe symptoms, Adderall may be the only one that works.

In high school I began doing organizational tutoring to better manage my course load, and that was the single most helpful thing I did, but that may not be accessible to anyone. So here are some things that I've employed on my own. They may not be helpful for everyone, but in the event that they are...

-Time is fake, and the sooner you realize it, the more sense it'll make. We can't connect the current events in our brain to the end result, (usually done via anticipatory dopamine, which is literally what ADHD is: lack of that) and ergo we can't process that 2pm is [_______] from 3pm and we need to get ready at 2:15 or something... Like what. That's fake. The time it takes to complete a task is also fake. Divide your tasks into days/assign sub tasks based on either 1. necessary order they need completed in, and 2. energy, instead of based on estimated time. For me that's been far more intuitive.

-Body Doubling or inviting people over as an external motivator to do a task. Invite a friend over to motivate yourself to clean your room or make food. Either bc they show up and help or even just tell you to do it, or bc you want your space to be nice when they've arrived.

-SNACKS. Eat eat eat!!! You are hungry, more often than your body will acknowledge! Small things like fruit snacks or a pack of crackers you can eat slowly, one every few minutes while doing a task are ideal. Since we have shit anticipatory dopamine, we just have to reward ourselves, and food does an ok job. That said: be careful with dark chocolate, it can be an appetite suppressant if the cocoa content is high. Same with caffeine. My stimulants also make me more sensitive to caffeine side effects.

Also, take snacks with you during the day, because if you're like me, you get tired easily if you don't eat often. Chocolate milk or drinkable yogurts are great fast energy boosts. Plus they're fortified with vitamin D, which in my latitude is in short supply.

-In the same vein: Have low effort, high calorie food on hand. You will have times when you can't summon the energy or get sucked into a hyper focus wormhole and don't have time or spoons to cook. Frozen dinners/personal pizzas/canned soups... whatever to get meal-quality food into you fast. If you eat meat, take advantage of cured or preserved meats that last a long time and are harder to let spoil. Some are stable at room temp, like jerky. If you don't, peanut butter seems to serve people well (can't relate tho, allergic)

-A lot of this is revolving around food, but ime regular meals and easy foods I can get myself to make and eat is something I struggled and still struggle with a lot. Prep snacks when you have spoons and time to do so. Hard boiled eggs before bed. Make extra portions' worth of rice with your dinner. Anything to have extra calories on hand ASAP. Also, rice cookers and any kind of automation is a lifesaver. Just set a timer to remember to get it out later, or pair it with when you're hungry and motivated to get it out and won't forget >.>

-Setting timers. Sucks. it really does. but it's better than not setting timers. If you have a "it's time to leave for class or work" alarm, make sure you have everything packed and you're dressed BEFORE the alarm goes off. With time blindness, that can be hard, but we do typically process abstract "x BEFORE y", just not "15 minutes before y". Switching from direct numbers to just "this has to be DONE by y time" is easier ime.

-Wear an analog watch. Helped me with time blindness so much. I could watch the minute hand crawl as I walked across campus and it cemented how tasks or going places took. I can link "this takes this space on the clock" easier than "this is (abstract number)".

-AUTOMATE WHATEVER YOU CAN. I'm not just talking about rice cookers and dishwashers and roombas, though those absolutely count. I also mean computer programs--zotero for citation formatting, writing or finding macros or scripts for file processing so that you reduce the number of clicks while working. LEARN TO USE EXCEL and clone sheets, if applicable for your job. Anything you can press a button for instead of having to think about is more that will get done during a day.

-If you have a pressing task that is making you sad or just has been hovering over you, or a big assignment: take the anxiety as a sign to prioritize it, and set aside an entire day for it. I'm not joking. Take a mental health day and do your taxes. Even if it only takes an hour, time is fake to us. Energy is not. Escapism or productive procrastination (doing other tasks that do need done, though less pressing, while avoiding another) devour insane amounts of time. If that is your One thing slated for that day, then it'll get done. Promise.

-Yes, use a schedule planner, but GET ONE WHERE YOU CAN SEE THE WHOLE WEEK ON ONE PAGE SPREAD. That way, when you break up assignments (I may do a post about how to do this, but it's integral and entirely what my organizational tutoring was for) you can see how everything fits into the week and where you will put tasks that roll over between days. Teacher planners are good for this. This shit got me through my college projects. Also: write in the assignments and important deadlines for your whole class syllabus right when you get it, for students. It'll take like 2 hours but you can SEE where things fit in physical space instead of abstract time.

-Write lists, not for the purpose of doing the things on them, but just to sort out what's rattling in your head. I rarely LOOK at lists after making them, but knowing it's all down on paper means I'm no longer worried about forgetting it, and threads it into my brain piece by piece, I can process each individual concern. What should be on these lists? Anything bothering you: deadlines, worries, emotional chaos. Anything that circulates in and out of your conscious thoughts. Chores you haven't done, inadequacies. It's like defragmenting a drive when you write it down.

-Your RSD makes it feel like people don't care for you. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria is literally so central to my experience, and I don't see it talked about beyond "it exists and it makes me feel The Awful". It impaired my ability to have healthy boundaries and connections to people, because it compounded with my insecurities to make me feel like people weren't showing me they cared or giving me enough encouragement. I got frustrated and I felt like my emotional needs were unfulfilled. It took a lot of therapy to get to the root of it: that I felt unsupported and was reaching to people I shouldn't for external support, when most of the pain I was looking to heal was internal. It is okay to ask for help! There's just a part of RSD where��you have to learn to separate what is your OWN pain in response to yourself, your own echo of self-loathing attaching itself to another's behavior, and what is genuinely hurtful behavior. I don't mean that you are accusing anyone of this; rather until you separate the pain you feel from the impact of others, you will feel trapped and controlled by their reactions. It's complicated. I advise therapy if it's accessible, but even knowing to look out for it will help. Admitting the words "I am in pain because I hate something about myself, and their reaction makes me aware of it" is a huge first step. Yes, spoken aloud.

-If you're breaking stim toys or wringing your hands, crushing things... You're freaking out and you need to go deal with whatever is bothering you. Your unconscious movements will register before the importance of the emotion itself will. I find my emotions are like my appetite, it's inconsistent when I will actually process them on a conscious level. Learning to watch my hands helped me realize when I was overwhelmed. It may be another cue for you.

-Go decompress when you're overwhelmed. You may still feel functional: you should not attempt to work through it. It will continue to haunt your processing until you go stare into the void over your water bottle and breathe for a while. I advise going home early too, if possible. Our emotions tire us more than we process.

-Try taking an ibuprofen or acetaminophen when you're starting to get physically tired or frazzled. Dopamine disregulation also prevents us from modulating background pain signals adequately, I notice I get achy.

-Exercise if you have the means and time. Especially if there's a facility at work/home/school so you don't have to convince yourself to go to a secondary location. Somatosensory and kinesthetic feedback good.

-If you take a break from something, go touch stuff and move around. Again, somatosensory feedback good. Walk around the block and touch bricks, etc.

-Use your scenery as a memory aid. Your workspace is your working memory, your HUD. I have told my coworkers not to move anything in my work area for this reason. Where I have left things and what is nearby reminds me what I was doing. Same principle as listing; all of it externally in front of you, digestible without worry of slipping your mind.

-In tandem with above: control clutter. Excess input that is no longer relevant will only confuse you. Old notes, etc. It's okay to throw things or memos out that you wanted to do but don't feel like you ever will.

-Your physical location and status ground you. Going to specific locations to get work done, or dressing specific ways for certain tasks helps link what you're doing now to the task later, and signal to your brain that you're in focus mode. I can't get shit done in pajamas. If I'm not dressed by 12pm, that day is gone.

-If you can't see it, it doesn't exist. Chores, clothes, etc. The best ways to store things are in plain sight. Clear bins, cubbies, etc. Again, your space is your brain. Sort items in places that are relevant to their use.

-If your space makes it hard to do chores, your brain will too. Arrange your furniture to the best of your ability in a way that facilitates easy movement and makes sense to you.

-Cut your losses sometimes. If you cannot finish the project you started that's taking up space in your room, you're not a bad person for throwing it out. Plants you can't save. Art you won't finish. Waste production is a societal problem, but you have to prioritize your mental health. Using disposable lysol wipes instead of rags that will add to laundry, etc. It's okay to need the time saving route.

-If you have the means, it is okay to spend extra for convenience. That's literally why the product exists. If it's more compact or automates something, it was built bc it will help people, especially you. Time IS money, or for us, tasks ARE spoons. Pay extra for delivery if you can't leave the house. I was raised very frugal and disposable anything was very hard to justify to myself, but sometimes it is just necessary to have something DONE and not need to clean or maintain things. You are rationing your energy, it is not laziness.

-ENCOURAGE YOUR BRAIN TO BE ITSELF. It will feel forced, especially if you've been masking hard for years. I had to direct myself to go touch flowers awkwardly or pick up bugs, and at first I didn't feel anything. I just reminded myself that the bug was cool and tried to look real hard at the details. Reminding myself I used to love this. And then at some point I wasn't pretending anymore, and I was sending pictures of jumping spiders to my colleagues like "look what I found outside!" That love some of us have for the present experience, the deep connection we have to our surroundings due to how much we rely on them for our processing... that is so valuable and such a source of joy. Fight for it. Fight your mask, fight the expectations people have for you to act a certain way, fight the notion that unbridled interest with and engagement with small details is "childish". It is not. The world is free dopamine. Grab heaping handfuls.

I may write up a followup for the fundamentals of organizational tutoring; it was what really carried my ass through college/uni and more people need access to it.

Anyway, I hope this helps someone. Not everyone's ADHD is like mine, and not all of this is universal, but maybe you and I have enough in common that my experience is valuable to you.

#adhd #mars #adhd tips #eating disorder content warning--not discussed but potentially triggering relationship with food for people in recovery #neurodivergence

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compassionatereminders · 3 years

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Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Summary

(The full post with elaborate explanations can be found here.)

Being a responsible adult doesn’t have to mean doing things perfectly - it means doing what you realistically can. Can’t eat 7 fresh veggies and fruits a day? Buy some veggie juice or a smoothie and chug that. Can’t make a proper, healthy meal? Add some extra protein to your instant noodles. Can’t do the dishes? Buy some paper plates. Don’t worry about doing things “the right way”, just do what works.

It’s not cheating to do something the easy way. If there’s an easy or more manageable solution available, use it. Even if some people think it’s lazy. Don’t worry about that. Just focus on finding the methods of doing things which make life easier for you.

Fuck what you’re “supposed” to do. Yes, ideally you shouldn’t run the dishwasher twice, but if cleansing the dishes by hand is not an option and that’s the only way you can get clean dishes, do it anyways! When you’re in a really bad place mentally, fuck the rules. Do what you need to do to get shit done, even if it’s not how you’re supposed to do it.

Do stuff while you’re waiting to do other stuff. We spend a lot of time waiting, so spend the time you’d normally just waste getting some chores done. Collect the trash while your roommate is in the bathroom or wipe down the kitchen counters while you’re making coffee. You can even turn it into a game! How many dishes can you clean before the potatoes are boiling? How much trash can you collect and throw out before your load of laundry is done?

You don’t have to do everything at once. Don’t wait for the day where you’re up for cleaning the entire house cause then you’ll be waiting for ages. You can wipe down one counter and call it a day. You can put away a couple things and leave the rest. You can do one small chore and let that be it. You don’t have to choose between doing everything and doing nothing. Any progress is worthwhile.

Let go of the idea that something has to become a permanent habit to have any value. Doing a certain sport for a month is still healthy even if you then move on to something else. Exploring a new hobby for a while and then moving on to other stuff will always teach you something. What’s good for you today will not necessarily be what’s good for you tomorrow.

Don’t worry about the entire task. Just focus on the first step. Don’t worry about brushing your teeth - just get your toothbrush wet and put tooth paste on it. Don’t worry about writing the essay - just look at the assignment and open a document. Don’t worry about going to the store - just put on your coat and your shoes. Starting a task is a lot easier if you only focus on the step right in front of you.

Imagine that your body is a pet/animal you have to care for. Feed and hydrate yourself, keep yourself and your environment clean, make sure you don’t get under or overstimulated, allow yourself time to rest and relax, find ways to enrich your life (like socializing, media or hobbies) - and do your best to make sure you’re healthy and happy, even though you never actually signed up for being your own zookeeper.

Just because you can’t do it perfectly doesn’t mean you should stop trying. Packing lunch a couple times a week is better than never packing lunches. Journaling or making art once a month is better than never doing anything creative. Exercising every once in a while when you have the energy is better than never exercising. You don’t have to do something every single day for it to be important and helpful.

Put on a professional persona when it’s necessary. Try to separate the anxious and dysfunctional you from the Student You who’s sending that important email or the Client You who’s making that phone call or the Customer You who isn’t afraid to ask for help. It might feel like you’re performing a role, but to be honest, most of us do at times.

When you’re doing chores, act like you’re filming a tutorial. Narrate what you’re doing like someone’s watching. That might make it easier to maintain focus and to keep track of the various steps.

You don’t have to do anything perfectly. Wiping yourself off with some baby wipes beats not doing anything about your personal hygiene. Eating a protein bar beats not eating. Using mouthwash beats neglecting dental hygiene completely. Going for a quick walk beats not moving. It doesn’t have to be perfect to count and make a difference.

Make something you know you have to do the trigger for you to start doing something else. Tell yourself “next time I get up to pee I’ll take out the trash” or “when I get up to get something to drink next I’ll make lunch.” If you HAVE to get up anyways, you might as well.

Assign yourself a deadline. Tell yourself “once this video is over, I’ll do the dishes” or “once this alarm rings, I’ll do my laundry.”

If you struggle to be compassionate towards yourself, try visualizing your future self as a separate person who you like and want to do favors for. Try to think of your future self as a friend who is separate from your current self and do what you can to make their life easier by doing things like preparing that lunch, doing those chores, taking that shower or making fun plans. I know they’ll be grateful.

Make putting stuff back where it belongs so easy that you “might as well.” Organize your home so that placing stuff where it belongs becomes so easy that you might as well just place it there. For many people that means several laundry baskets, many trash cans and easily accessible and very visible storage options. So if you keep finding things in annoying places, make sure they get an easily accessible home!

Look into why you can’t do something. Is something about the chores you’re struggling to do actually causing you sensory distress and is there something you can do to make it more comfortable? If you hate mint toothpaste, get one that tastes like bubble gum. If old food grosses you out, do the dishes with thick gloves on. If showering makes you feel bad about your body, shower with the lights off. The problem isn’t always about self discipline, and in those cases it’s worth looking into why you’re struggling so much to get certain chores done.

Take care of yourself in order to take care of others ( whether pets or people.) Outside motivation is necessary for many people who struggle with executive dysfunction. For many people getting out of bed is easier when you know someone else is relying on you being somewhat functional. So don’t be afraid to find the motivation to take care of yourself in wanting to take care of others.

Make keeping your place clean as easy as possible. Make sure there’s easy one step access to the things you need often. Make sure that the place where a thing is supposed to be is actually within reach of where you use the thing. Make sure everything has a an easily accessible place to go, even if that means several laundry baskets and several trash cans. Examine what’s messing up your place and find a home for it where you’re likely to actually place it on a regular basis.

Choose one very specific thing to work on - like the bathroom sink or the oven or your desk. If you suffer from executive dysfunction you’ll likely be distracted, but having one specific focus point you can keep returning to will mean that in between getting distracted, you can return to your chosen project and get some shit done.

When something feels overwhelming, tell yourself to “just show up” and that you “won’t have to stay the whole time if it’s horrible.” Cause odds are that once you’ve pushed past your initial mental block, you’re likely to stay and finish what you started.

If you really can’t do something, accept your limits and find a different method. Don’t keep trying to push through via willpower alone. If you need outside accountability to get your shit done, find someone who can hold you accountable. If you know you can’t remember the stuff you’re supposed to remember, make sure to always write things down. If you keep forgetting your meds, set a daily alarm. Don’t keep expecting yourself to be able to do things you always struggle with.

Make your chores into a game. Assign certain chores certain points and make a list of fun rewards you can have once you’ve earned a certain amount of points through doing chores.

If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. Any amount of effort is better than none, so on days where you can’t do something well, do it anyways! Any amount of progress beats not getting started.

Find a momentum and use it to do that thing you’ve been struggling to start doing. You can’t get yourself together to shower? Well, find something you CAN do - and once you’re already doing something, you might be able to channel said energy into showering.

Take it one step at a time. I know a shower sounds overwhelming, but can you take your clothes off? If yes, can you turn on the shower? If yes, can you stand under the stream? Look who just tricked themselves into doing the thing by breaking it down into manageable chunks!

Don’t just break a task into smaller steps - break it into steps so small you can’t possible get overwhelmed and fuck up. “Clean my room” is far too vague - but “set a timer and collect all the trash you can in 10 minutes” is actually manageable and so is “move all dirty dishes to the kitchen” or “remove and/or sort all clothes laying on the floor.”

Don’t worry about how most people do things - worry about what works for YOU. You constantly lose your key? Make ten copies. You overlook your post it notes? Put something with the important reminder on it in front of the door. Got laundry and trash all over the floor? Get more laundry baskets/trash cans. Coping with executive dysfunction is not about learning to do things the neurotypical way, it’s about finding strategies which actually work for you.

When you’re overwhelmed and struggling, find the easiest and fastest way to get rid of some of the distress. Eat if you’re hungry, sleep if you’re tired, pee if you have to, get that thing you’ve been postponing done if you can. The more stressors you can remove, the better - and it’s okay to start with the smaller ones!

Don’t worry about aesthetics. When you struggle with executive dysfunction, maintaining a picture perfect home is probably unrealistic. So drop that dream and focus on making your space practical and functional. Remove the doors of your kitchen cabinets and closets if that will actually make you put stuff away. Get a paper shredder and a mail sorting station if you got mail and advertisements everywhere. Buy all your socks in one color if you struggle to pair them. There are many ways to make your environment more functional. Explore them instead of just trying and failing to make your home look nice.

Get started on your next task before you take your break. Write that first sentence, make that first sketch, get the vacuum cleaner out of the closet or collect the dishes for washing and THEN have your break. Many people with executive dysfunction struggle to start tasks, so for most of us it’s easier to continue something we’ve already started working on than to begin from scratch.

#kat gets serious #coping #executive dysfunction #disability #mental illness #self care #recovery

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thedamageofherdays · 3 years

Text

This week's (16-08-2021 - 22-08-2021) reading log is here. This week's reading log is super duper long and filled with lots of good things (my apologies for the long post, I really could not find a good spot to do a read more). I discovered some new favourites and re-read some old favourites and while I had an intense week personally at least the fics I read were absolutely phenomenal. I do recommend checking out the warnings as some fics are a bit heavier/angstier and you might wanna be prepared. Most of these fics are Stucky but there are a couple of other ships in between.

If you are looking for more fun and/or good things make sure to check out the @marveldisabilitycelebration as well to see all the awesome art, fics, meta, etcetera people created! And while I am mentioning events I am a mod for let me also just quickly mention that sign-ups for the @stuckygiftexchange are still open until the end of the month <3

Favourites are marked with a 🌻 Fics that are only available to AO3 users are marked with a 🔒 and Tumblr fics are marked with a 🍀

🌻 The Bends by dreamsinthewitchouse @dreamsinthewitchouse [Danbeau, side Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

Memory is not a house you can just walk back into after finding the key you thought you’d lost. It’s a thing you wade into and out of, rewriting it as it rewrites you.

It’s not without its rewards, either - recovering a memory about Maria and Monica, about her life, feels better than socking a thousand bad guys in the face, better than all the photon blasts in the world.

Then again, realising there’s still memories she can’t access, even after all this time, feels like drowning in space.

Not the one out there - the one inside her.

🌻 Sweet & Salty by musette22 @musette22 [Stucky, 3k words, Teen]

Idiots in love. That's it. That's the fic.

When life gives you lemons by moonythejedi394 @moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 34k words, Explicit] (11/15 chapters)

Or 13 Terrible Things to Do With Lemons Other Than Making Lemonade

Steve Rogers is a home health nurse. He works for an agency, which assigned him to the aging Winifred Barnes, the one and only Silent Era Hollywood darling. As her needs increased, she requested the agency assign Steve to her full-time. She could pay for it, so she got it. Steve then moved in with her, becoming her caregiver; he cooked, he cleaned, he managed her medications, he made sure she was comfortable.

Winifred's children treated him less than ideally. He was the help, after all. And then Steve had the audacity to go and turn out to be eldest son James Barnes's soulmate. No one saw that coming.

🍀 SamRhodey Tumblr Fic by ipoiledi [SamRhodey, ? words, Teen?]

“Wilson, this is Rhodey; Rhodey, Wilson,” Tony Stark says, and suddenly some six foot tall sexy guy is shoved right in front of Sam, and they both stumble a little, bumping into each other. This is a crowded party. “You guys have things in common, right?” Stark asks. “Uh, Army stuff. Talk about that. I hate wallflowers; stop wallflowering and talk to each other.”

Shorteralls by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 6k words, Explicit]

The first time Bucky ever saw Steve Rogers, he was struck by how Neanderthal-like his response was. It was immediately followed by a bout of mental scolding. The second time was just about the same. The third time, it was actually appropriate for Bucky to start a conversation with him, at which point he was determined to be the gentleman.

No such luck. Steve Rogers is, always has been and always will be, a relentless flirt. These days, Bucky's Neanderthal-ist feelings about Steve are consensual and highly appreciated. More so now that they're having a baby.

what the fuck are perfect places anyway by tigerlilycorinne [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

Steve clears his throat and stands. “Well, I should head in. I might want to begin packing.”

Bucky stills. “You won’t,” he says, trying to sound commanding. It only comes out uncertain. “Don’t.”

Steve shakes his head. “Maybe not tonight,” he says, and Bucky knows they’ll be discussing this again soon.

“Then stay. Play… play cards with me or something.”

Steve’s eyebrows jump up, his mouth tugging up in another of his bemused smiles that do things to Bucky’s insides, but he drops his hand from the doorway and steps back into Bucky’s room. Somehow, Bucky feels as if he’s won—not the war, just the battle.

Steve won’t stay forever. But he’ll stay for cards.

Steve and Bucky, on the run after Civil War (with a few alterations to canon), are laying low in Wakanda. But they can’t stay there forever.

🌻 honestly thought i’d be dead by now, but what you can trust is that i need your touch by moonythejedi394 [Stucky, 105k words, Explicit]

Bucky is 37 years old; he’s unmarried, hasn’t had a Sub of his own, is definitely not ripped, comfortable at his job as an Advanced Practice RN at Brooklyn General ER, and just got his Five Years coin from AA.

Steve is 26 years old; he’s unmarried, his last and only Dom has Alzheimer's, he's worryingly muscular, uncomfortable in his job as the government’s poster Alpha for masculinity and strength, and worries more than he should about his BMI.

Unfortunately, Steve and Bucky meet initially in a not-cute moment. Bucky’s tired as shit thanks to the sudden alien invasion that shook New York and Steve is tired as shit because he hasn’t slept more than 20 minutes at a time in – well, since 1936, probably. Bucky’s Alpha instincts get irritated at the sudden presence of another "Alpha" into his territory and Steve’s suppressed submissive tendencies latch onto this grumpy bachelor Alpha and he only suppresses it further.

Bucky’s grumpiness and Steve’s duckling impressionism aside, both of them are a mess. But since both of them are a mess? Their messes seem to fit pretty well together.

Deep Sea Diving by Aida Ronan [Stucky, 5k words, Explicit]

Steve's wallowing in heat-related misery under a shade tree in Central Park when a man walks by in bright red booty shorts and a crop top. RIP Steve Rogers. It was nice knowing you.

honey, make this easy by steebadore [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

Bucky likes the way he looks. His silk button up with the tiny gold polka dots feels soft on his skin and is tailored perfectly; no pulling at his chest or belly. His hair falls in shiny dark waves and his skin is smooth and dewy. He looks expensive. He looks taken care of. He looks like Steve’s.

🌻 let's take it back to the start by howdoyousleep @howdoyousleep3 [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

How it all began.

This sleepwalking through my life. by barthelme [Stucky, 1k words, Explicit]

The internet is an interesting place and when Bucky came home (or, when he came to live with Steve), Steve did a lot of research. Apparently, it’s not safe to wake a sleepwalker. He assumes that waking a sleepwalker with traumatic dreams and PTSD is beyond just being frowned upon.

And he tells himself--has told himself--that this is safer for Bucky. That if he were to stop him and wake him up, that Bucky would be mortified to be slurping on his best friend’s cock. That all of the improvements he’s made would be lost, would be repressed, would be just--

They’d be back at square one.

So he lets Bucky do it.

🌻 the way i've been craving by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

"Lunch break at 12:30. My office. Hope you’re hungry…"

It’s the ellipsis that sends Bucky’s insides swimming warmly, his heart beating twice as fast against his ribs where he sits in class. Senator Rogers is concise, direct, to the point. Without an ellipsis this is lunch, this is a meeting. With it though?

This is a booty call.

nasty but classy by howdoyousleep [Stucky, 4k words, Explicit]

“No, you don’t have to know the purpose, that doesn’t matter. Nat showed me this challenge where couples drink a lot of wine and get drunk together but they can’t touch each other. And whoever touches the other first has to...has to give the other head.”

🌻 Put It on Repeat, It Stays the Same by giselleslash [Stucky, 20k words, Explicit]

Steve and Bucky have a one night stand that turns into a friends with benefits situation. A weekend snowed in at Bucky’s apartment brings to light how much that really doesn’t suit either one of them.

Greetings to the New Brunette by victoria_p (musesfool) [Stucky, 10k words, General]

"You said he should have a hobby. That it would help."

"I meant, like, knitting or coin collecting. Motocross, if he was feeling antsy. A baby's not a hobby. It's lifetime commitment."

🌻 Rogers & Barnes: Partners by triedunture [Stucky, 10k words, Teen]

Steve and Bucky have to pose as a couple for a mission. Nat insists it really is the only option. She's checked.

The complication: unbeknownst to even Natasha, Steve and Bucky's friendship has been rocky ever since Bucky confessed his tender feelings and Steve left him out in the cold. Can asexual, completely-in-love-with-his-angry-best-friend Steve complete the mission and win Bucky's heart?

(The answer is yes. Yay!)

this will be our year (took a long time to come) by biblionerd07 [Stucky, 4k words, General]

Bucky's therapist is worried he's using Steve as a crutch and wants him to try going on outings without Steve. It wouldn't be terrible, honestly, if Bucky could just manage to open his mouth and say something to Steve.

I'll hold my breath by Little_Lottie (tfwatson) [Stucky, 8k words, Mature]

Sometimes Bucky’s hands flex in Steve's direction. Neither of them knows exactly why, but at least one of them has a hunch.

Bucky touches everything but Steve, even though Steve is all he really wants to touch.

Start from the Beginning by Mumble_Bee [Stucky, 13k words, Explicit]

What about a sex pollen fic where the pollen-ed one doesn’t remember getting hit in the face with a sex flower, and wakes up midway through the depollenating?

Or: the one where Steve wakes up on his back with a stranger buried balls-deep in his ass.

Match by emphasisonem [Stucky, 4k words, Mature]

The situation’s actually kind of funny from the right perspective, Bucky thinks as he reads the message for what feels like the hundredth time. He’s finally matched with a hot, funny guy. Tall and broad and clean cut. An absolutely breathtaking smile. Bucky’s walking wet dream. And he’s good. They haven’t messaged on the app, but Bucky already knows him.

He knows him because Steve Rogers is an art history professor at his university. His art history professor.

Best friends and married since childhood by StuckySituation [Stucky, 1k words, General]

Inspired by @/peterssquill's post in tumblr: "bucky and steve got married on the playground when they were like eight and though neither of them would ever admit it to anyone, even each other, they still consider it official"

~♥~ ♥~ ♥~

“Natasha, stop trying to set me up with every woman you meet, I’m-”

“Too shy? Too scared?”

“No, I’m-”

“Too busy? You’re mostly retired these days, not a good excuse anymore.” Natasha smirks and then drawls: “Or just too gay?”

Steve flushes at that, even if isn’t true -- he’s bisexual, not gay. “Let it go, Nat, I’m not looking for anything. I’m already married, for fuck’s sake.”

Clearly not what she expected. “What.”

Steve grimaces. He didn’t mean to tell anyone that, ever.

“Sorry, can’t talk about it right now!” he says and jumps out of the plane.

Nobody Should Be Alone on a Holiday by emphasisonem [Stucky, 2k words, Teen]

“So, um-” Bucky begins speaking again, pulling Steve from his less-than-work-appropriate thoughts. The brunet has shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark slacks, and he’s shifting from one foot to the other as he smiles shyly. “I have a question for you.”

“Shoot,” Steve grins, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his broad chest. Bucky swallows deeply as one of his hands comes up to pull at the collar of his button-up, and Steve can’t help following the motion of his Adam’s apple.

“I was, uh-” Bucky continues- “That is, I heard you don’t have Thanksgiving plans?”

In which Bucky finds out that Steve's going to be alone on Thanksgiving and invites his coworker to spend the holiday with him.

🌻 It's Been A Long Season Through by thiccbuckybarnes @thiccbuckybarnesfic [Stucky, 49k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes is in desperate need of a change in scenery, which is why he makes the foolhardy decision to quit his job, leave his asshole of a fiance, pack up his life, and move to his grandfather’s old farm all within a single day.

He expects confusion, hardship, and maybe even failure. But love? He wasn’t expecting that.

Or, a Stucky Stardew Valley AU that nobody but me wanted and that’s ok.

oh, peach pit, where'd the hours go? by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 10k words, Explicit]

Can't see the forest for the trees.

Or, Steve learns that just because he and Bucky got their happily ever after, it doesn’t mean the past won’t come back to bite them.

I'll find my way by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 725 words, Teen]

Steve had watched Bucky fall, and nothing had been the same since.

AU-gust day 19: Daemons

special delivery by glim @glim [Stucky, 6k words, Teen]

It's not that Steve's bad at taking care of himself when he gets sick; he just wishes he didn't have to all the time.

At least he can order most of what he needs online. That's some small comfort, that he can have soup and ice cream and everything else brought to his door.

at first chance i'd take the bed warmed by the body by spacebuck @spacebuck [Stucky, 8k words, Explicit]

This close, Steve can see exactly how beautiful his hands are. He’s never really noticed before, or at least he’s never really had a reason to notice, but the man’s hands are large, tanned like he works outside all day. There’s an endearing callus on the heel of one of his palms, and Steve can’t quite work out when calluses became endearing.

Steve pauses the video. Swallows hard. Casts his eyes around for anything that’ll keep his mind off the hands on his screen, off the words inked into those hands, the delicate shape of a bird’s wing, the curling edge of a vine.

He looks down. The name of the channel is right there, blaring the man’s name right into Steve’s brain until it feels like he’s known it all along.

Bucky Barnes.

OR: the one where Bucky's a youtuber who solves puzzles on camera, and steve's smitten and horny

🌻 Rock On! by millesable @marvelousescapism [Clintasha, 700 words, General]

“Hey, Romanoff!”

He lifted his hand, index finger and pinky finger raised, thumb out, all other fingers tucked. Their secret sign; their confession for the world to see, safe in the knowledge that the world wasn’t listening.

“Rock on!”

🌻 You Like the Way I Look by dontcallmebree @iamthe-wo-manwhocan [Stucky, 2k words, Explicit]

Bucky sidles up to him, hand boldly coming to rest on his chest. “What about you, big guy? Care for a dance?” Steve watches Bucky’s eyes twinkle with satisfaction, somehow already knowing he’s got Steve on the hook.

A decade out of the ice, Steve Rogers returns to New York. Reeling from a battle against the Chitauri, a night with the troublesome Bucky Barnes might be just what he needs.

Join the Rebellion by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 765 words, Teen]

Bucky knew he shouldn't be out after curfew, but he couldn't resist the urge. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew it was where he wanted to be.

AU-gust day 20: Dystopia

🔒 Five Days in December by mywingsareonwheels @mywingsareonwheels [Evanstan, 4k words, Teen]

“Shit shit shit shit...” muttered Chris to himself, glad that the sound of piped Christmas carols was drowning out his swearing amid the picture books. Most of the store was heaving even though it was Sunday, he’d been recognised at least three times, finding presents for all of his nieces and nephews was proving far more of a headache than expected, and he’d just sent a pile of copies of "Strictly No Elephants" tumbling off the bookshelf.

He scrambled about trying to pick them all up, and then dropped them again as someone bumped right into his backside. He lost his balance, caught himself against a bookcase, and a landslide of "Carter Is a Painter’s Cat" joined "Strictly No Elephants" on the floor. He yelped.

“Ah fuck, I’m so sorry… Chris!”

* * * * * * * * * *

London, December 2021. Amid cats, books, and the cold English drizzle, Chris finds everything he was hoping for and thought he would never have.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

Reaching for Fire by dixons_mama @dixons-mama [Stucky, 7k words, Explicit]

Bucky has always felt a fire in his heart (and other body parts) when it came to his boss, Steve Rogers, but he's made sure to never feed those flames. When he finds out about Steve's second job, though, he's tempted to let that fire out.

i've been dreaming of a face like yours by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 3k words, Explicit]

Bucky is about to busy himself with making a small dinner for himself when he stops in his tracks at the figure drinking a cup of coffee in the kitchen, leaning against the counter and smirking at him.

It’s Steve.

“Surprise, sweet boy,” he says before setting his cup down.

Or, PWP reunion sex

🌻 Somewhere, Under Your Skin by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 16k words, Explicit]

Bucky Barnes treats himself to a one-night stand after having a very bad no good day.

The sex is good--great, even. Might be the best sex of his life.

But Bucky wouldn’t have slept with the guy if he had known that he was going to continuously run into him every day for the next fucking month.

Or, a Big Grump Bucky has a hot one night stand with a college kid who is popping up everywhere in his everyday life and he doesn’t know how to deal with it.

(Written for HYBB Bingo Square: Grumpy Bucky)

i've played heartstrings before but not in your key by thiccbuckybarnes [Stucky, 11k words, Explicit]

He glances down, seeing a folded couple of papers, before peering up at Bucky. The older man is biting his bottom lip, making it pretty and red. Steve wants to run his tongue across where his teeth are digging into his flesh.

"What's this?" Steve asks, setting his phone down, emails forgotten. Bucky shrugs and looks away.

"I dunno. You tell me, genius," he says, sounding bratty enough that it makes Steve's dick twitch in his pants. Jesus, there has to be something wrong with him.

Steve glances once more at Bucky, who now has his arms crossed against his chest and is pointedly not looking at Steve, before picking up the stack of folded papers. He opens them, seeing a collection of maybe five or six sheets of paper. His eyes immediately land on the list of familiar words with negative next to each one. -- Or, Steve Rogers is a jealous, possessive little shit that wants nothing more than to mark up his boyfriend and stake his claim. And Bucky knows it. (And he likes it.)

🌻 I'm Home (With You) by BonkyBornes @padfoot-and-the-marauders [Stucky, 2k words, General]

In any other circumstance, the apartment would've been perfect. But it was today, and the fact that he was here meant he wasn’t out searching. He knew they hadn’t had any leads for weeks and he knew Natasha was right; all three of them were exhausted and a break would do them good. It just felt wrong to Steve that he was comfortable while Bucky was still out there—somewhere. Probably cold. Probably hungry.

The knock came again. Sighing, Steve unwrapped his hand from the dog tags and remembered how to move. Cold wind and snow greeted him when he opened the door. The solitary figure was walking down the steps, collar popped against the chill.

“Did you need something?” he called.

The person stopped. They were still. And then they turned. *

Or, the Christmas Steve deserved after Winter Soldier.

The portrait by rainbow_nerds [Stucky, 915 words, General]

Steve Rogers has a Gift. He can help people find their soulmates, all he needs is some art supplies, a quiet place, and eye contact.

AU-gust day 21: soulmates

Maybe A Muse by buckybarnesdeservestobehappy [Stucky, 2k words, Mature]

When Bucky Barnes needs extra money, he’s appalled that his best friends think he should become a model for the art department on campus. Shy, nerdy, and socially awkward, he’s not sure that’s something he feels comfortable doing. Still, he needs money, and he likes the idea of becoming someone’s muse. The problem is he had no idea two things would happen. First, one of the students in the class is exactly his type; second, he has to model nude.

#my reading log #r's reading log #fic rec #stucky fic rec #fics recs #stucky #danbeau #samrhodey #longpost #long post #clintasha #evanstan

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adhd-attention-deficit-dumbass · 4 years

Note

Any tips for focusing on schoolwork? The quarter ends next week for me and I have 12 missing assignments but I can’t just sit down and do it smh. My meds don’t do shit to help me so I basically run on caffine and Doritos

I was planning on making a longer and more detailed post about this since I struggled with the exact same thing last semester but I’ll do a quick one since you’re in a hurry!

-Ask a university student with ADHD

How to overcome executive dysfunction and just get it done!

A quick overview for the stressed and depressed ADHD student

All strategies mentioned are ones I have tried during a very stressful period in my life and I can happily announce that I succsessfully passed all my re-exams!

1. Study at the library or a similarily quiet place, by no means attempt to study at home or god forbid a café you’ll regret it.

Studying at the library takes so much less effort and energy than studying at home or in s noisy café, save your precious energy for focusing on your work instead of trying to avoid distraction

Libraries are great and full of people who are also studying which will help you feel more motivated!

2. Get rid of your phone 📱

This one ☝🏻 oh boy, it was a game changer, I know you think you may have the discipline not to get distracted but it makes a world of difference

Put your phone in a seperate room on silent if you can, this is the most effective way.

If not, put it at the bottom of your bag and make it as hard as possible to find

Use wireless headphones 🎧 for music so you don’t have to keep your phone within arms reach

3. Write down exactly what you’re doing and divide into small easily doable tasks

Part of the struggle is not knowing what to do, or the task feeling too big and too hard. Write down the task in steps, as many as you need, as simple as you can. Break them down to the smallest and most easily done bits until you feel like you can handle them.

Example: For uni last semester I had 3 smaller tests per week apart from the usual exams. We had to translate between 1500-3000 words every two days on our own and during lectures We’d do a quick 15 min test based on what we’d read that would affect our final grade.

”Translate 2000 words” sounds like a lot so the way I did it was that I put the text into a word file and dived it into seperate paragraphs

I’d end up with 10-12 paragraphs and that would be my focus

So if I had two days to translate, I’d translate 6/12 paragraphs the first day and the remaining 6 the next day

It feels much easier than sitting with a document of seemingly endless work. Because we can have a hard time planning and looking ahead, it helps to give yourself some structure

4. Check off and visualize finished tasks to boost motivation ✅

Again, using last semester as an example

The way I did it is something I call:

The heart strategy❤️

At this time I was obsessed with Zelda games and I randomly drew a little heart in my planner while thinking of Zelda and thought ”huh, what if I used ”video game hearts” as a representation for my own work?” And I have been doing it religously since.

The way I did it was I drew 12 hearts in my planner in a line like this, seperating them with a line in the middle.

🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍 | 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

When I finished translating a paragraph I would fill a heart with a bright pink pen because I love pink💗 It was almost like a reward and it made me more motivated to keep going, it also provided a visual to let me know how much work I had gotten done and how much was left

So when my planner looked like this:

💗💗💗💗💗🤍| 🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍🤍

It would motivate me because it meant I was almost finished for the day and I knew that I had completed half of the task already.

5. Wireless noise cancelling headphones 🎧 + ADHD friendly music

Noice cancelling keeps you from getting distracted by 🗣🎶👏🏻✍🏻👣

Wireless is just amazing in general but it also keeps you away from your phone which will often distract you even when you’re trying hard. Some models allow you to even change songs without touching your phone, which is super helpful

Make a list of music or find good mixes on youtube/Spotify that are not distracting 🎶 They can be motivational and upbeat or slow and relaxing, whatever helps you the most

I have a ”Motivational study songs” list with a lot of upbeat high tempo songs that are about reaching your goals, a mix of rock, pop, Disney and musical songs

Never gonna give you up by Rick Astley is the perfect ADHD study song idk why but it just works wonders for me

But some days the upbeat music is just too distracting so then I put on classical music (mostly Tchaikovsky) or a lofi youtube video. Changing up music is good since your ADHD brain will get bored of the same thing easily

There are also quiet and very aestethic ”☕️study with me 📖” videos on youtube that are like 2 hour long where a person just sits quietly and studies

they can be great because it makes you feel like you have a study buddy but they wont distract you by talking 🙊 as long as you don’t get distracted by them

That’s all for this post! BELIEVE ME i tried SOOO hard to keep it short and it was a lot longer at first i’m sorry if it’s a lot to read🙈

I hope some of this is at least somewhat helpful. Thank you for reading and good luck with your studies!💗

#Ask a university student with adhd #adhd study tips #adhd help #adhd #adhd study #adhd studyblr #ask me anything about adhd #adhd post #adhd asks #answering asks #study motivation #adhd motivation #executive dysfunction

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prettyboykatsuki · 3 years

Note

basically,,,how do you deal w executive function? Especially since you’re unmedicated? Just like…how do you prioritize ur time like “ok now I’m gonna do this, then this, etc”…how do you push yourself to get started on an assignment and if you have, power through the whole thing without getting distracted? Im medicated but I still struggle to hell and back to do any work at all and barely hand in assignments, let alone on time. I’ve gone whole semesters without submitting or participating in a single thing and failing classes bc of this, and almost got kicked out of uni bc my gpa was so low but, I’ve gotten As at the same exact time so it’s not like I’m bad at this? ik I can do the work well, it’s just impossible to force myself sometimes, and I’m trying to get help and deal w it so it doesn’t keep happening but it’s EXHAUSTING and i feel like the mental effort put in vs the outcome just isn’t..productive at all. I just end up daydreaming endlessly and nothing happens 😭 do you have any tips/routines/methods that help you?

okay!! so. i actually have advice for this and it might not be what u wanna hear but this has changed my life and it's what i tell other people all the time. the number one thing for me?

do not go against your nature because you will lose.

i mean this. read it once, and then again, and keep reading it until its plastered in your brain. im gonna bet since you have adhd, you probably deal with severe feelings of failure and have tried tirelessly to become the perfect and productive person. i can guarantee it.

but you have got to stop going against the fundamentals of who you are as a person by trying to do things the way neurotypical people do them. you are not like them and you won't ever be and that's okay!! but do not try to fight yourself on things you simply cannot do. it's okay. nothing is wrong with doing things differently

i compare myself to a little pet all the time. my brain needs enrichment to function and survive. work with your needs instead of trying to work around them and cut yourself some slack somedays.

ill give u a tldr bc u u might not wanna read all of this LOL. here's what i do that i highly reccomend if u can't be bothered to read the whole post (i get it lmao)

a. change your environment. i go on campus 3 days a week, 3 hours a day - about 9 hours total. top floor, dead silent library.

a.1. noise cancelling headphones changed my life.

b. have every single thing in you need to do right infront of your face. buy post it notes and stick to them to the thing you look at most. as soon as you get an assignment, make it an alarm on your phone. repeat it everyday.

it needs to stress you out a little. creating a sense of urgency matters.

c. no idea about your medication but i drink a lot of caffiene. about 240mg for the three days im on campus + brown noise (NO MUSIC FOR ME) unless im doing something that doesn't require me to think like math

d. force yourself to make a game out of things. it helps.

i need caffeine to focus bc im unmedicated and ill probably need it after im medicated. it happens

now here is the more indepth advice

1. your work will not always reflect how much effort you put in. get comfortable with this and understand it has nothing to do with you. people with adhd do not feel rewarded by completing tasks the way NT people do and you have to understand that you will not garner satisfaction. treat your responsibilities like standing your phone up for a photo - it's fucking annoying to keep doing, but doing it will give you the best results.

2. it is 100% neccesary to trick your brain into doing something. force yourself to make it interesting if you can. instead of trying to study for a test, figure out the best way to cheat. why? because you'll inadvertently learn the content when finding out how. need to read something for a class discussion? read in a fucked up voice or accent that you do when you repeat shit to yourself. make a rap out of it. have an essay that needs to get written? use an ugly font to write the rough draft, and only let yourself use the nice font after you hit a word count. your brain needs dopamine and to produce dopamine you need to make shit interesting.

i use the forest app when im struggling. i get to plant a tree if i focus the whole time in deep focus mode and i feel guilty if a tree dies. it's not stupid if it works. sometimes that doesn't work and that's okay.

3. doing a little is always better than doing nothing. never, ever let your brain give up on something because it's a surefire way to not doing anything at all. if the hardest part is starting, don't try to sit down and force yourself to start. set a 5 minute timer and push through for 5 minutes and take a break for 5 or 10. doing it again and again until you can't anymore. eventually you'll either fall into hyperfocus and get work done or you won't. do something else productive and try to build momentum if you can. forgive yourself if you can't do anything. some days it's not in the cards for you to be productive and that's okay too.

4. this last one, use with limits because hyperfocus is so real but - you have adhd, which means you lose interest in things quickly, which means if there is something you're burning to do - just do it. you losing interest in thing means it's better to get that burning desire out of the way first. if you want to play halo for 2 hours, do it. you don't need to earn it. do it and when you get bored of that, whenever that is, go try and do your work.

generally speaking, cut yourself some slack. adhd is fucking miserable and hard. don't beat yourself too much and remember that you are putting in effort even when you feel like there's nothing to show.

i love u! i hope this helps.

#return to sender #nd stuff #advice

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thebadboyfanclub · 4 years

Text

You Can Do Better (Rio x Reader)

Requested by anon, i’ve posted this for the third time and tumblr is being a fucking asshole to the point were i’m thinking of quitting this since every week I get a new way of them hiding my works. Enjoy it while it lasts

T.W. mentioning of attempted rape

(Y/n) had been Micks neighbor for a few months before the incident happened, this absolute dumpster was the only thing she could afford at the time, fresh out of college, in a foreign country without any family, but she was hoping to moving quickly. However, when Mick was coming home, he heard her screams and cries for help from the bottom of the stairs, he had seen her once or twice, even baked him cookies when he first moved in, she was nice and a quiet neighbor.

He found (y/n) being held down by two men in masks and one of them try to rape her, she was begging and screaming, he almost acted on instict when he shot the guy in the back, the other tried to attack him and he also ended up with a bullet in between his eyes. (Y/n) thanked him and Mick had to stop her from calling the police. Instead they called Rio. He was met with two dead bodies, A girl in her torn pajamas shaking and crying and Mick trying to calm her down.

“Those motherfuckers”

Was all he said, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what had gone down, Rio was a criminal and balls deep in despicable things, yet he was proud to say he had never laid hands on a woman nor a child. He kneeled in front of her, took a good look at her eyes, her entire body shaking as she looked at him, you could sense the trauma she had been through.

Rio had heard of her when Mick told him about this little girl next door that baked him cookies as a welcoming gift, he recalled how his friend laughed when he mentioned that the girl asked him his opinion about the next tattoo she wanted to get. Now this happy light hearted girl was replaced because two men thought they are superior.

“Hi sweetheart, I understand this is hard, we will take care of everything alright? You trust us?”

“I had locked the door, I was sleeping”

“I know sweetheart, it wasn’t your fault. We’ll take care of you ok?”

“Thank you”

Since Mick had vouched for her and Rio had seen her at her worst they felt obligated to take her under their wings, maybe even help her earn a little more money, get a good car, pay her bills comfortably, that sort of stuff. Until one day she asked to do more, get initiated

“Mama this isn’t the playground, we ain’t playing cops and robbers”

“I know, but you said I am learning quickly, why not teach me more?”

“Why you wanna do this? All of a sudden you feel like being a gangster? You were shaking in your shoes a few months ago”

“I’m done being your little child Rio, I want to hold my own. I will do this with or without you”

Rio looked at her with a serious face. She was growing, becoming fearless, ruthless, he had seen it coming, she was picking up more slack, asking more questions, she wanted to prove herself.

“You’re threating me mama?”

“And what if I am?”

She quickly not only proved herself, she became one of his most valuable members, she was his secret weapon, nobody would suspect a young little hotel receptionist being linked to them. She worked twice as hard and smarter than most if not all his men, advised him wisely and was always cool, calm and collected, she worked best under pressure. Scared little (y/n) felt like had never even happened, she was his soldier now, she had Micks status and Mick couldn’t be more proud, he had a soft spot for her.

“Hey mister policeman, Have some room for another criminal?”

She joked as she leaned at the door of her car, waiting for the new little boy toy to get out of the police station. Now the normal question is why is (y/n) around a police man, there is a two part answer to that. Great lover and also great cover, she was his little thing, so nobody would dare blame you for any crime, the girl of the police man being a gangster? it sounded like a joke.

“Depends on what crime we are talking about miss”

“I can think of a few, we can put those handcuffs to use”

As he approached her she smiled and took off her sunglasses. She looked amazing in her blue loose ripped jeans and a simple oversized white t shirt, a chain necklace around her neck and some nice rings on her fingers as her hair fell in front of her breasts, wearing a pair of high heels to style it up.

How you doing gorgeous?”

“Oh you know, thriving and surviving. How about you, I thought you had a day off today”

“Yes but I got assigned to a new case”

“Ohhhh should I be concerned? any criminal on the loose?”

“Not really, we are trying to find a link for this Rio guy”

Jackpot, this couldn’t have gone better. She tried to contain her smile and leaned back on the door, acting like nothing had happened.

“Oh I think you’ve mentioned him before, what did he do now?”

“Lots of things but motherfucker always slips away, chief thinks he has someone on the inside”

“Like a dirty cop?”

“Yes, so he wants me to look into it”

“Look at you, leading a case... Sexy”

The guy smiled at her, he was completely fooled and hooked. She hadn’t told anyone about her plan of seducing him to get information, she didn’t need to up until this point, yet what she did not calculate was Rio seeing her outside the police station talking to a fucking cop, the outmost enemy and being all close and cozy to him, acting all buddy buddy in broad daylight.

“I’m glad you like it miss”

“There’s a lot of things I like about you baby, anyway I have to go, I have a shift to clock in to”

“I’ll see ya later?”

“Maybe. Bye handsome”

At that (Y/n) got in her car and drove away. Rio was pissed, the girl he trusted and the girl he wanted was flirting with a policeman, how could she? He trusted her, taught her everything he knew, gave her everything with generosity and she was becoming a cops whore? Of course it wasn’t just about flirting with a cop, it was flirting with someone that wasn’t him.(Y/n) was a charming woman, he found her extremely attractive and she was even better now with the confidence she had gained over time, she was a woman he craved, the woman he wanted to have on his side, a queen that could hold the keys to his kingdom. Now all this was slowly shattering, no there had to be an explanation and he couldn’t wait to hear it.

Of course he could not just appear at her workplace, she was gracious enough to arrange a room for him incognito when Beth shot him, yet they had to act like strangers so all he could do was wait for her.

“Hey boss, sorry I’m late I had to take care of a few things”

“Like that cop friend of yours?”

She had barely closed the door of his office before he blurred it out, he had this whole plan of making her confess by herself, except when he saw her he lost control. Betrayal and confusion clouded his mind, as she stood there a bit dumbfounded for a quick moment before smirking at him.

“Stalking much?”

“I like to make sure my people are in line”

“Really? Is that why Beth is still walking around unharmed?”

He knew how much that had shook her up, (Y/n) took care of him almost as good as the doctor, she stayed with him until he fell asleep, helped him renew his bandages and anything else he needed, even though she never said it he was aware she was extremely concerned for him and he was grateful for her care, which made it even more complicated considering the fact that he was slowly becoming more addicted to her, needing and wanting more than she gave him.

“Let’s just cut to the shit, what were you doing there?”

“Talking”

“Talking? to a cop? what is this (y/n) huh?”

She sat in the chair calmly, any normal person would have either shit their pants or told him what they were planning right away. (Y/n) on the other hand found this amusing, she had grown tired of him doing things without considering the danger he was putting himself, especially when it came to Beth and the others, if it was anyone else they would have been six feet under the second Rio opened his eyes, now he had cut them in once again and had almost gotten Boss status.

“Yes, one of your little ladies is married to a cop, what’s the issue with me talking then?”

“Last time I check you ain’t never flapped your gums to a fed”

“I don’t flap my gums Rio, I have conversations and if you really want to know he is my new boy toy. He also was the one that told me about your case, how the fuck do you think I got the information? By holding interviews?”

Rio didn’t know how to feel, she was still working for him, had used her privilege to get information for him that had saved him a lot of money, however the whole “boy toy” thing did not sit well, she liked him, she gave him her time and even though she was stringing him along, she still had him in her life.

“You did what you were supposed to do and you got rewarded, so why you still talking to him”

“Don’t start the bullshit Rio, I’m not your daughter nor your girl so why do you care who am i fucking with”

“Where’s your fucking respect to your boss (y/n)?”

“Respect? how about where’s the respect for yourself? You let the suburban moms do whatever the fuck they are doing and I’m getting shit for having sex and getting you info from the feds?”

He was pushing it, he knew that and he didn’t care, it was time to reveal his cards and she was going to do the same, whether she liked it or not. Rio leaned back on his chair, his hand rubbing his chin as he looked at her, sitting there and looking right back at him, she wasn’t lying he knew that, she had a point for the suburban moms and she had expressed her disapproval for the little thing that was going on between him and Beth. What he did not understand was if she didn’t like it cause she was a tad bit jealous or because it fucked with their money and reputation?

“You are something else you know that?”

“Yet you still question my methods, if I remember correctly I wasn’t the one that planted three bullets in you”

“You are scared of losing me mama?”

She did not respond, she just turned and looked away from him. Of course (y/n) had picked up his little flirty remarks from time to time, she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit she had thought of how he would be in bed, how his embrace would feel, his raspy voice was enough to start fantasies enough to make a book.

“Let’s say I am, what are you scared of Rio? Why do you care who I’m sleeping with?”

“He is a cop”

“A handsome cop, I’m sure you noticed how nicely that uniform was on him, let me tell you it’s even better when he sweats”

“I don’t need to hear it”

“Why? Does it bother you Christopher?”

She raised herself from the seat and placed her hands on the desk, leaning closer to him and making her breasts show just enough as her back curved in a perfect little S, she focused in his eyes as her tongue went over her upper lip. Rio got closer to her, his hand reached her face, as he held on to the side of her head and his thumb went over the lower lip.

“You’re not for him mama”

“Why not?”

“A woman like you is not for no goody two shoes, you can do better”

“Really? like who?”

They could feel each others breaths, their faces were almost touching as they both spoke in whispers, this conversation was not meant for no one else, they didn’t even have to speak as their body language was saying everything it needed to be said. She felt her breath become more swallow, his scent was getting her a tad bit flustered and so was hers to him.

He wanted to take her right here and then, just the idea of her naked body was enough to drive him wild, her hair was so soft he could only imagine them stuck on her face from the sweat, the most amazing part was her lips, soft and full that made his mind go wild with the need to feel them in his lips and his body, the doors to her moans.

“I can show you better than I can tell you”

“Let’s get it then boss”

#rio x reader #rio imagine #rio x you #rio x oc #good girls rio #good girls nbc #rio good girls #good girls imagine #nbc good girls #manny montana imagine #manny montana x reader #manny montana x you #manny montana #good girls x reader #good girls rio x reader #good girls rio nbc #rio

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moldisgoodforyou · 3 years

Text

you didn’t kiss her back

wordcount: 2.5k

warnings: mentions of nsfw content, brooklyn :/

_____

In hindsight, he should have known.

He should have known when Brooklyn texted him the group invite for dinner in a separate text thread, not the intern groupchat, but he was too busy with work that day to even question it. Just liked the message as his usual form of RSVP.

He should have known when Brooklyn was ultra-polite to him at work that day, not adding any of her usual flirty comments or going out of her way to stroll by his desk. Instead, he was too caught up in work assignments and trying to figure out how late he could FaceTime Sophie that night without waking her up.

After the workday, Rafe was walking out to his car when Brooklyn jogged after him to catch up. “Hey, Rafe, wait up!”

He grimaced but turned around - he’d learnt to just deal with her presence over time. “What?”

“Um, my car’s almost out of gas and I don’t think I’ll make it to the restaurant and be able to make it home. Would you be able to give me a ride?” She asked, almost shyly.

Rafe calculated the drive time in his head. Eight minutes. “Uh...yeah. That’s fine.” He nodded shortly, then nodded his head in the direction of his car.

Brooklyn gave him a grateful smile, matching his quick pace to the car. “How was work for you today?”

“Fine.” Once he got in the car he dropped the act, just turning up the radio so they didn’t have to make more small talk. Just being near her made him feel on edge - the same way he often felt around his father. She reached out to touch his arm and he flinched away, making her giggle. “Someone’s tense.”

“Can you not?”

She rolled her eyes. “Touchy.”

“I’m trying to be civil here.” He remarked.

“Hm.” She let him sit in silence for a solid half minute, then spoke up again. “I saw Sophia posted some picture of her wearing a Cartier ring on her Instagram. Did you pay for that?” Brooklyn pushed, sounding almost nervous.

Rafe shrugged. “So what if I did?”

“You never bought me designer.” She glanced at her nails, trying to appear nonchalant.

He snorted. “You can buy yourself designer things just fine. We both know that.”

“Not the same.” She mumbled, then opened her mouth only to let out a sigh. “It’s just - never mind.”

He looked over with an annoyed glance, tapping his fingers on the wheel. “What.”

“Surely your dad doesn’t approve?”

Rafe tensed and she resisted a smile, knowing she had struck a nerve. Exactly what she wanted. “Since when have I cared about my dad’s approval?”

He might have gotten away with that with someone else, but Brooklyn could read him well. Too well. She’d seen him deal with his dad’s disappointment only a few times, - Ward was always on his best behavior whenever she was around, the model of a perfect parent.

Brooklyn laughed at that, shaking her head. “You’ve always cared about his approval, I find it hard to believe that’s changed in just a few months with some girl.”

“Eight months.” He corrected, his jaw clenched tight. “And you know her name. Don’t be rude.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Sophia or something. I just don’t get it.”

“It’s Sophie. Still. And good thing there’s nothing you need to get about my relationship.” His knuckles were nearly white around the steering wheel as he pulled into the small parking lot, then glanced around with a frown. “Where’s the other interns? Shouldn’t they be here by now?”

“Oh.” She raised her eyebrows, surprised. “I just sent the invite to you. You didn’t notice?”

He hadn’t, of course, but he wasn’t about to let her know that. He parked the car and turned it off, looking over at her with a confused expression. “What?”

“I didn’t send it in the group message, Rafe, I thought we could go out, um, with just us.” She gave him a small, earnest smile. “Like old times.”

He grimaced, closing his eyes for a second and taking a breath. “Are you forgetting that you broke up with me?”

“I mean - Rafe, come on. We worked well together. We could at least be friends.” Her tone took on a pleading edge and she leaned in a little closer, her arm nearly touching his on the center console.

“You made me feel like shit, Brooklyn.” He told her flatly, frowning. The last thing he wanted to do that day was rehash a conversation with his ex that they’d already had at least three times since breaking up. (The first was more akin to a drunken screaming match that ended in tears for both of them, the second was just bitter insults hurled back and forth, and the third was as short as possible, on the campus quad in between classes.)

“I just wanted to help you.” She murmured, then suddenly leaned over and kissed him quickly. He was so taken aback that it took him a second to spring back, eyes wide. “Brooklyn! What the hell!”

She blushed, embarrassed as she started stammering. “I didn’t mean - I wasn’t thinking -”

“Fuck.” He wiped his lips with the back of his hand and shuddered, looking disgusted. “Get out.”

She sat there for a moment longer, not looking at him. Her voice grew impossibly small and she picked at her cuticles, radiating anxious energy. “I didn’t drive.”

“I don’t care. Get an Uber or something, get the fuck out.” Rafe was practically fuming as he glared out his window, not wanting to acknowledge her.

“I - Rafe, I want -”

“Out.” He insisted.

She nodded quickly and scrambled out of the car, casting a wayward glance back after walking away. Once he was sure she was around the corner, Rafe slammed his fist on the steering wheel. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do more - throw up or go scrub his body clean of any trace of her. Brooklyn’s floral perfume lingered in the car and he felt nauseous, unable to think of anything but Sophie and how she’d react once she found out.

After he took a few moments to center himself, absolutely livid, he punched the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot, repeatedly swiping his hand over his lips in an attempt to get Brooklyn’s signature cake batter-flavored lip gloss off. (The summer after the breakup, Wheezie had started wearing a vanilla sugar perfume that smelled all too similar - Rafe had a headache for weeks.) He drove to a nearby park and sat out by the water to get away from the overwhelming perfume scent in his car, and his hand was nearly shaking as he hit the app to FaceTime Sophie, nervous as hell.

She picked up right away, grinning once his face filled her screen. “Hi! It’s good to see you. I can’t talk long, I’m getting ready to go out, but what’s up?”

“Um...” Rafe briefly debated bringing it up, anxiously pulling at a loose thread on his shorts. “Just checking in. How’s your day been?”

“Oh my god, so...” She launched into a ramble about a cool new project she was working on, and how she got to be with some of her new friends, and how she aced her Spanish test. He listened, a little impatient, as guilt ate at him.

“Soph -” He tried interrupting, knowing if he put it off any longer he’d make himself sick.

She didn’t notice. “And it’s kind of tricky -”

“Baby, listen.”

“- But it’ll be really rewarding -”

“Brooklyn kissed me.” He blurted out quickly.

She froze immediately, eyes wide with her lipstick raised halfway to her mouth. “She did what?”

He bit his cheek hard before replying, his heart pounding. “I’m so sorry, Sophie, I didn’t - I should have known, her stupid dinner invite -”

“Rafe, shut the fuck up, why are you apologizing? You didn’t kiss her back.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement of trust, but he almost flinched from the hard edge to her voice.

He shook his head frantically. “No! No, of course I didn’t. Fuck. She barely even touched my lips before I pulled away.”

“Fucking hell.” She had to set her phone down as she was practically shaking with anger. “I knew it.”

“Knew what?”

“I knew she was going to pull something, that - that -” She seethed, unable to get all her words out.

“That…?” He tried supplying.

“That bitch! Oh my god, what the hell? If I were there, I swear I’d - holy fuck. I’ve never wanted to punch someone until now.” She started pacing the room, flexing her fingers into fists.

Rafe couldn’t hide his tiny smile, raising his eyebrows. “You’re kind of hot when you’re mad.”

“Focus, Cameron.” She snapped. “Oh my god, she’s so fucking petty. First the Instagram messages, then this -”

“Wait, wait, hold on, what Instagram messages?” He interrupted, frowning. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh.” She scowled, crossing her arms. “She followed me a couple weeks ago and went through and liked the posts that you’re in, and keeps responding to my stories. Like that group photo I posted the other day at the bar, some of the guys were in it? She literally responded with ‘wow, glad you’re getting some in Spain.’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Sophie, you should have told me.” He rubbed his temples, upset but completely unsurprised - Brooklyn had done that same to a friend he had taken to a date party once when they were in one of their many short breakups. “I’ll talk to her, tell her to knock it off -”

“And have her try and kiss you again? No, I don’t think you need to give her any reason to be one on one with you.” She huffed, indignant. “How many days again?”

He paused to think. “Thirty? Twenty-nine?”

“Jesus Christ.” She sighed, running her hand over her face. “Any chance you want to come early?”

He looked apologetic, shaking his head. “Can’t, baby, I’m committed to this internship right up until I see you.”

“Damnit.” She flopped back onto her bed and rolled over onto her stomach to face the camera again. “Next time you’re at dinner, let me know and I’ll text you a picture of my tits or something.”

Rafe snorted. “I don’t know if that’s the best approach, but I wouldn’t be opposed to getting more nudes from you.”

“No, you’re right, she’d probably just tell you I’m slutty or something.” She rolled her eyes, only for him to frown. “You’re not slutty, baby -”

“I know, I know, whatever. What happened, seriously? Why’s she so hung up on you? I mean, I know why, look at you -” she gestured at the phone, making him laugh, “- but for real. Will you tell me?”

He nodded, taking a moment before he spoke. “She, um, cheated on me, but I didn’t find out ‘til after she broke it off. Not until the charity gala, actually. She’d say things like, ‘you’re so needy,’ then would get mad at me if I went to hang out with the boys.” Rafe paused, thinking. “She invited herself to the Bahamas, both times. My dad loved her, that should have told me enough.”

“Oh.” She murmured, frowning. “That’s fucked, Rafe, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, took me a while to snap out of it.” He half-joked, then his tone turned more sincere. “You should know, I was going to take you to the Bahamas house this spring, actually. But I didn’t want you to think I was showing off or something.”

“Rafe Cameron, showing off?” She teased, lifting her hand with the Cartier ring and raising her eyebrows. “Never.”

He immediately blushed, protesting. “That’s different!”

She grinned. “Is it?”

“It is. Totally different. I almost bought you the one with diamonds, that’d be showing off.”

She narrowed her eyes. “You didn’t.”

“Yes, I almost did.” He grinned, noticing that she wore the ring on her ring finger instead of her middle finger like he’d originally put it on her. “Sarah talked me out of it, so go complain to her if you wanted that one. She said you’d probably have my head.”

“Smart girl.” Sophie laughed.

“Do you always wear it on that finger?” He asked with raised eyebrows.

Her cheeks tinged pink and she shrugged, trying to be nonchalant but her tone took a defensive edge. “Maybe. It doesn’t matter. It’s just a finger. Why? Does it make you feel weird?”

“No. Does it make you feel weird?”

“No.”

“Good.”

“Good.” She shot back, pressing her hands to her hot cheeks for a moment. “I have to go, I’m late for meeting my friends now.”

“Wait, Soph.” He smirked and she narrowed her eyes again, wary of what he was about to say. “What.”

“Love you.”

“That’s it?”

He laughed, grinning. “I’m still not opposed to you sending me pictures of your tits when I’m at dinner.”

She rolled her eyes. “Do you know how difficult it is to take a good nude? I have to be alone, I have to contort myself in a weird position or use the self timer, then I have to edit the lighting because I have to take them at night -”

“Alright, alright, I get it. I’m just kidding.”

“You absolutely were not. I love you. Go appreciate the pictures I’ve already given you.”

“You gave me three for the entire summer.” He complained, and she rolled her eyes. “That’s a lie, I left you with three and I’ve sent you a couple since then. Goodbye, Cameron, love you, you ungrateful son of a bitch.”

He grinned. “Wait, Sophie, wait.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re not mad? At me?”

Sophie paused, furrowing her brow. “Do I have a reason to be mad at you? You’re already forgiven for not telling me, is there something else?”

“No, no.” He shook his head quickly, voice going quiet. “I just, um. She would have had my head for what happened. I know you’re not her, but I’m just used to that, I guess.”

She softened, wishing she could hold him. “I trust you, Rafe. I mean it. I’m not mad at you. I’m pissed off at her, but you didn’t do anything.”

“And you’d tell me if you were?” He rubbed the back of his neck, a little anxious.

Sophie laughed softly, nodding. “You’d know if I was mad at you, baby, it’s hard to hide.”

“Right. Okay.” He didn’t seem fully convinced, but nodded anyways. “I’ll let you go, then.”

“Not mad at you. Good night, my favorite boy.”

He gave her a small, shy smile. “You promise?”

“I promise. You’re always my favorite.” She returned a bigger smile. “I’ll text you when I’m home if you need to talk more.”

“No, no, I’ll be fine.” He waved her off, not wanting to seem too dependent.

She nodded, blowing him a kiss with a grin. “Night, baby. Sweet dreams.”

taglist: @whoeveniskendall @kkmaybank @karsinner @outerbanksbro @outerbankspreferences @randomficsandshit @sunshineitsfine44 @jailcalledlife @tovvaa @moniamaybank @illbesafeforyou @dontjinx-it @freddymaybank @jjmaybankzz @g4bster @oopsiedoopsie23 @babygal-babygal @thecuthoney

#rafe x sophie #mine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron fanfic #outer banks #outer banks fanfic #college outer banks #college obx #obx fanfic #obx #college rafe #frat rafe

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utilitycaster · 3 years

Text

In a very on-brand move thinking about how much the “haha this group has one brain cell and this character has it” meme annoys me sparked like, between two and seven different rants for me (I edited myself down to four, mostly) so I’ve helpfully numbered them into something that is debatably readable.

The main reason I don’t like it in any media is because usually it’s not as simple as ‘this is the brains of the group’, because people are multidimensional. I also don’t like it in actual play specifically for “stop acting like stats mean absolutely everything” reasons, which is a thing I’ve been on about recently; think “Caleb Widogast (20 INT, 16 WIS) and the Emerald of Death that Absolutely Could Have Been Left Alone”.

It is my belief that people who do not take impulsive and/or risky actions in D&D are bad at playing D&D. There’s a good quote from Travis Willingham about this - that you can’t just play it safe. If you want to be pedantic and optimal about it the smartest thing to do would have probably been to never touch the ship full of corpses and the +1 Spider Crown of Makes Good People Throw Up*. But I think most** people understand that to have a story, that is, to find out, one must first fuck around. When players delicately try to skirt around every possible thing that might deprive them of a single hit point, it is unbelievably frustrating. It is not unintelligent or ‘lacking in brain cells’ to take risks. Dorian and Opal made great choices! They saw that the Nameless ones were going to be a threat that they could not avoid, and took actions to address that! Which brings me to my third point.

I find that fandom often pivots with all the grace of a broken Zamboni driven by an elephant, which is to say they do not react well to changes or new information. When the Nameless Ones show up, and it becomes clear that the plan of quietly running away undetected had failed, a lot of people seem to short circuit (presumably) and perceive whoever drops that first plan - even though we already know it has failed - as being the cause of the new problem. This is wrong; the person who drops the plan is the person who reacts first to a new and changed situation instead of hanging on to plan A when they know it won’t work. This happens a lot; I may be turning over a huge amount of dead discourse about Rumblecusp but it was fascinating to see how many people were frustrated by the inaction against Vokodo but then championed inaction in terms of reacting to Jester being in trouble; it seems many people make a connection between inertia and ‘the brain cell’ even though sticking with a plan you know has failed is not smart. This also, I should note, tracks with neutral good characters often being assigned the brain cell by the fandom, so onto point 4, which is…

It’s easy to appeal to law or chaos - in fact, it’s much easier to appeal to that than to morality (good/neutral/evil). True neutral is also not terribly hard to appeal to in that you either zero in on the character’s personal goals/beliefs and ignore alignment altogether, or you trust the player isn’t a total dickhead and will go along with the party majority. Neutral good and neutral evil are the trickiest alignments to motivate, and since neutral evil is both rare among PCs and especially tricky***, let’s talk neutral good. Neutral good characters want to help but they lack the certainty of a lawful character or the spontaneity of a chaotic one; they typically need to analyze everything to figure out how they can best help since all they really have to go on is ‘am I helping’ and that’s often a complicated question. And it’s not bad to do this! It’s a valuable perspective to have in a party. But it’s not a sign of intelligence so much as a sign of having a specifi philosophy, and while I’m sure there’s someone out there who wants to watch a 7 hour trolley problem debate, I do not, nor do most people, so another character will often take action. This in turn doesn’t mean they’re impulsive, so much as they acknowledge that the trolley waits for no one.

In summary I think a lot of people associate “the brain cell” with extreme caution, but in a world where pausing for six seconds can get you hit by a poisoned dagger (and also resurrection exists), there is a lot of sense in making a quick decision.****

*if you were going to say “um actually this is the circlet of barbed vision” unironically may I gently suggest you learn what jokes are.

**not many, and yet still, far more than the acceptable amount, which is zero.

***this is a whole new too-long post but in short while neutral good usually wants to actively help, neutral evil often just doesn’t care if they do harm, but doesn’t actively seek it. Many neutral evil characters (eg: pre-Mighty Nein Essek) have relatively morally neutral goals; the evil comes from them being willing to hurt others in their pursuit of those motivations. They do not necessarily see doing evil as its own goal or reward the way a neutral good character may feel about doing good.

****for more on this see every time I have ever complained about how people are all about more thorough examinations of worldbuilding when it comes to boring shit like fabric arts but refuse to apply it to like, the sociocultural implications of a world with complete gender and sexuality equality and wildly different lifespans among different peoples and the presence of magic and gods.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #exandria unlimited #long post

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illyria-12 · 3 years

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AOT Headcanons

I’ve been thinking of posting some of my headcanons and other shit here a bit more. I’m much more active on other platforms, but figured, why not?

So have something I threw together at... I dunno, maybe 3am Monday morning? :)

Warnings: None that I am aware of.

Includes: Eren Jaeger, Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hanji Zoe, Reiner Braun (At present, maybe more added at a later date.)

AOT Characters as Study Buddies:

Eren Jaeger:·

Do not expect this boy to remember that he agreed to study with you. He could have agreed to study with you just a few hours ago, and would forget. He needs regular reminders.

Remind him a couple of days before, the day before, on the day, during lunch and definitely make sure you text him after school.

Is always late.

He starts off really focused. Pulls out his books and notes and is eager to help.

But he also gets very easily distracted.

Will often check his phone. It’s a really bad habit he can’t seem to control. Whether it’s just checking the time or clearing notifications, expect his phone to be in his hand at least 60% of the time. Clearing notifications often leads to him scrolling through social media, sending snaps or replying to texts too.

Will always involve you, telling you why he is laughing, showing the funny video or meme he has found or explaining a conversation he is having.

It’s entertaining, but not exactly the reason you are here...

He doesn’t have a preference of where he studies, he is pretty content anywhere, but if you go to his place, he will frequently bring in snacks or order pizza. Also is much more easily distracted when at home.

His attention span isn’t great, and although he loves the idea of being helpful and studying with you, he gets bored quickly.

Can also get confused with his own notes.

Will often try and get you to call an end to the study session rather than do it himself. It makes him feel accomplished that way; like he has done his job and you are the one who has had enough.Will often groan things like:

“Are we done yet?”

“My head/back/wrist/eyes hurt.”

Occasionally he will suggest ‘taking a break’, but once that has been agreed to, it is pretty much the end of studying for the rest of the night.

Likes to try and make studying as fun as possible. Bright colours, highlighting, bubble diagrams, sticky notes. You best believe his version of pop quiz is to write random answers on a sticky note and stick it to your forehead and then get you to ask questions until you get the answer right.

Will definitely reward you with a kiss when you finally get it right.

Sometimes leaves sticky notes in your book of ‘motivational quotes' to make you smile when you eventually come across them.

Armin Arlert:-

By far, the most committed study buddy you could have hoped for.

You have weekly study sessions at the library every Friday after school.

Armin is always there before you, fully prepared; books laid out neatly on the table. Sometimes he even starts his homework while waiting for you.

Is very much a fan of making a little itinerary of things you are going to work through on the day.

Doesn’t mind odd conversation but is an expert at getting you back on the subject at hand. He can often even relate whatever you’ve said back to the topic... although sometimes it doesn’t make sense. But it’s still funny and endearing.

“You know who else thought Mrs Bratton was a bitch? William Shakespeare.”

Is incredibly patient.

Is a great supporter, always encouraging you and praising you when you get things right.

Would never admit it but he finds it cute when you just can’t wrap your head around something and then out of nowhere, the penny drops.

The faces you pull entertain him. Either when realization finally dawns on you or if you’re thinking very hard.

“Hey, don’t worry, you got this... let’s just go through it again.” “That’s it! See? Told you you’d get there.”

Will always make sure he brings you something to drink and snack on during session. Usually a sandwich, crisps or some chocolate to give you a bit of a boost.

Doesn’t push you too hard, if you say you have had enough, he will generally leave it there, or try to convince you to do just a bit more, but never in a demanding sort of way.

“Okay, shall we finish this page first?”

“One more section? Promise.”

Armin's biggest downside? He is so soft on you.

Very often gives you the answers as opposed to forcing you to figure it out.

Absolutely can not be stern. If you are feeling playful, or really not in the mood and start teasing him,he is quick to admit defeat rather than stand his ground and force you to get through the work.

Absolutely will do 99% of the work on group projects but share the credit with you.

Levi Ackerman:·

Will make it seem like he doesn’t want to study with you, but will ultimately agree.

“Why don’t you ask ...... instead? Tch. Fine.”

At first he will always read what it is you have to do, and then proceed to tell you what you have to do, but not necessarily tell you how to do it.

Eventually he realizes you already know what you’re supposed to do... (you can read, Levi.) And then proceeds to actually help.

Expect a lot of sarcasm and insults. He doesn’t necessarily mean them, but he will say them anyway.

"Whining about it isn’t going to magically speed this up. Get to it.”

Very rarely strays away from what it is you’re meant to be doing.

Complaining gets you nowhere with him.

“No, we’re not taking a break, you should have eaten before.”

It’s not that he doesn’t care, he does, but he also knows you will do anything to get out of studying when you’re frustrated, and tend to over-exaggerate. You’re not ‘starving’, he saw you eat at lunch... which was only a couple of hours ago.

Likes to prioritize your subjects. Will take into account when assignments are due in, how difficult they are going to be and how long it will take to get done.

Strict. Very strict.

Prefers to study in a quiet and familiar place. Libraries or either of your houses where there are minimal distractions.

Absolutely will not let you copy his notes. You’re welcome to read them, but he expects you to refer to your own. That doesn’t mean you don’t steal snippets here and there though, much to his annoyance.

“Do you pay attention in any of your classes?”

Very good at breaking things down and explaining things. You actually pick things up pretty quickly when studying with him, probably due to his ‘no nonsense’ approach.

Will occasionally randomly test you to see if you’re actually paying attention and remembering what you are doing. He always smiles a little when you can answer his questions.

Is not going to do the work for you, and certainly isn’t going to give you answers, you have to really work for them.

Is patient until you start misbehaving.

His occasional praises are a treat.

Erwin Smith:·

Loves to study with you in different places. This man will plan a whole day for it.

Will always bring a picnic when you study in a park. Happy to share a cocktail if you go to a bar, or a milkshake and burger if you go to a diner.

If you do happen to study in a library, he will always take you for food afterwards.

His notes are detailed and beautifully written and he has no problem with you using them.

Don’t expect him to give you the answers though. Erwin is the sort of person who will ask you what you think.

“How do you think we figure that out?”

“What do you think we need to do?”

“What do you think this means?”

It’s not that he doesn’t know. But he wants you to try and figure things out yourself. As long as he can see you’re making an effort though, he is happy to guide you and let answers slip here and there, or word things in such a way that you suddenly have an epiphany and get the answer.

Is a great motivator and supporter.

Doesn’t mind taking breaks every so often and uses this time to have general conversation with you. Nothing work related in the breaks, it’s meant to be a break.

Is not above bribing you. Whether it be with food, physical affection, surprises...

Yes, Erwin has in fact brought you gifts and refused to give them to you until you do the work and get it right.

And he would do it again.

Erwin knows a decent amount about a lot of different subjects and sometimes shares random facts regarding topics you’re studying about. Sometimes they are not at all relevant. But they are usually always interesting.

You have this man’s undivided attention throughout the study session. Erwin is usually very busy , so when he does dedicate time to help you, he likes to be fully committed.

Will ignore his phone completely. Texts, phone calls... everything, until you both take a break.

Hanji Zoe:·

When the two of you get together to study, it is very hit and miss as to whether you actually get the work done. She is so intelligent, but also, such a ditz at times.

Hanji can talk.

Like, a lot.

She very often will start off talking about a topic and swerve off into other lanes and get completely side-tracked.

You once started off writing a biology paper and somehow ended up getting a history lesson about Ramses II, after learning all the details of the Black Death and even touching on Jack the Ripper.

But she is highly intelligent under her scatterbrain-iness.

But can become very easily distracted. Especially if you start talking to her about something she is very excited or passionate about.

Will sometimes forget to bring textbooks you need to use.

Will hyper focus at times. Sometimes a bit too extensively. It can be very draining.

Can be known for getting lost in the details.

Never comes to a study session without a coffee for the both of you.

Absolutely has no problem sharing her notes with you, will often steal yours too.

“A fresh set of eyes and all that.”

“Ah, this is good! Who knew you were a certified genius?!”

Has no problem pulling her weight on group projects, but also has no problem letting you take the lead... or do all the work.

Tends to be much more productive closer to the end date of an assignment.

Fidgets a lot. Always tapping a pen, nibbling on the end or twirling it between her fingers. Knee bouncing... almost constantly.

Likes to take regular breaks to analyse and go over what the two of you have learned and accomplished so far and decide where to go from here.

Procrastinates.

Reiner Braun:·

Reiner is always happy to study with you. Even though his calendar is pretty full, he will always make an effort to squeeze you in.

Definitely the kinda guy to put a game night on hold, telling his friends online he will be back in a couple of hours to help you first.

Always greets you with a kind smile and asking if you’re ready for the session.

Doesn’t mind where you study, but does prefer to study at his house so he can give you a snack or something to drink.

Really likes it when you go and study in the garden. It is probably his favourite place to study with you. Just because it is nice, quiet and peaceful.

Very chilled out; will often make jokes and try his best to keep the mood light.

Very patient; has no problem going over things multiple times and trying lots of different ways to try and help you understand.

Likes to be close to you when you work together. Knees occasionally touching, shoulders brushing. Just give this man a reason to touch you in anyway shape or firm. A reassuring hand on your shoulder, a quick one armed hug in the chair, ruffling your hair, squeezing your hand... he is all about that shit.

Will celebrate your victories and praise you constantly.

“Hey, well done! See I knew you would get it.”

“We’ve done a lot today, I’m proud of you.”

Always down for a cuddle or a movie afterwards, or maybe even a walk through the park to get some air and unwind.

Will digress sometimes but it’s very fleeting and he picks up exactly where he left off again easily.

Has no problem with you taking some of his notes, or searching the Internet for answers.

Will explain how he got the answer and break things down into manageable chunks for you.

Chocolate is always on the table.

If you get too stressed he will let you take a break.

Will offer to give you neck, back or even hand massages if you get too stiff.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

#Headcanon #aot headcanons #hc #AoT #snk #Eren Jaeger #armin arlert #levi ackerman #hanji zoe #Erwin Smith #reiner braun #writing stuff

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eurydicees · 3 years

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top 10 ouran manga-only arcs

this is going to be such a long post i apologize in advance. the ranking system has absolutely no criteria other than "does this pass my vibe check.” bonus points were awarded if i could think about tamakyo while reading it; points were also awarded every time tamaki did something cool. this was a delight to make. anyways, without further ado, here are my personal top ten favorites, and no i will not be taking criticism.

1. THE TAMAKI EXTRAVAGANZA

(vol 16 chp 73 - vol 18 chp 80)

PLOT:

So much happens here that I couldn’t think of an actual name, and uh does it count as a single arc? Probably not, but I’m counting it as one because it has a single thread: Tamaki. My beloved. So. First, Tamaki finally, finally, finally moves into Suoh mansion #1, but when he gets there, he gets told that he’s only allowed to study the Suoh business and go to school and nothing else— meaning he has to quit the host club. Shizue threatens to out Haruhi as a girl and ruin her reputation— possibly losing her the scholarship— if Tamaki doesn’t break off all ties with her.

The Host Club disbands. Kyoya begins an Investigation™ into Tamaki’s mother— she had been incredibly weak and unhealthy when Tamaki was a child, but when Kyoya met her, she was pretty healthy. After some sleuthing, the hosts minus Tamaki discover that she probably had Bisco Hatori’s fictional version of lupus, which was cured by a mysterious foundation— which they discover was run by the Grantaine family, funded by the Suoh corporation, and actually researched by the Ootori conglomerate. Literally everyone is in on it. It’s fucking wild. Like. Huge “holy fucking shit I need to stop and take a breath” moment.

This information is suddenly released to the public, and then the Suoh corporation all vote Shizue out of her position, saying that she’s no longer fit for the job. She locks herself in her room and refuses to speak to anyone, breaking Tamaki’s heart. But now that she’s no longer top dog, Anne-Sophie can come to Japan— Yuzuru is super hyped and expects Tamaki to be as well, not understanding that Tamaki’s family fantasy includes his grandmother. Tamaki stops going to school and plays piano every day in order to cheer up the house, eventually luring Shizue out to listen to him play their shared favorite songs from J-dramas.

They begin to bond and Shizue sees that he’s not a failure because of his parentage, but it’s too late because Anne-Sophie is about to fly back to France. All is hopeless.

EXCEPT THEN. All of the hosts and all of the clients realize what’s happening and rush to help him get to his mother. They all adore him so much, and give their all into getting Tamaki to the airport. Shizue finally encourages him to go, realizing— with the help of Haruhi— that she has been bitter and selfish and Tamaki deserves better. They rush to the airport, and through a series of shenanigans that are no match for the combined power of the hosts and every single girl at Ouran, Tamaki makes it to the airport. They make it there JUST in time, and Tamaki gets a five minute reunion with his mother. Haruhi finally confesses to Tamaki that she loves him.

WHY I LOVE IT:

oh my God oh my God oh my GOD. Like. This is just. So much. So Much. We all know that I’m like. The #1 Fan of Tamaki Suoh. Like. President, vice president, treasurer, and secretary of the fan club, all at once. I love him so much, and this just gives him so much development. There is so much opportunity for him to grow and you not only really see who he is as a character, but you also see how much he’s grown as a person from his first introduction. You also get more of a glimpse into the world of Rich People, and the way that all of their families interact with each other, and then also with the way that they interact within their families. It’s just such an intense arc and it’s so beautiful and I love it so much.

2. THE SPORTS COMPETITION

(vol 10 chp 46 - vol 11 chp 49)

PLOT:

This one is HARD to rank, because I love it, but it also Hurts. Like. I genuinely cried over this one, though that’s not actually saying much because I cry at everything. So. Here’s what’s up. Tamaki gets into this idea of a sports festival, and then Kuze wanders in to fight Kyoya again, so Tamaki suggests a competition between the two of them. This is a very Tamaki thing to do, but Kyoya gets fed up with it and refuses to participate— until Kuze accuses him of being “Suoh’s pet” and that he’ll always let Tamaki win, and then Kyoya gets fired the fuck up.

But he’s still bitter at Tamaki for starting this, so the two of them stop talking and my heart breaks. This does not stop Tamaki from having heart eyes for Kyoya 24/7. Hikaru and Kaoru are assigned to competing teams, and begin their Very Long Journey into not being so codependent— Hikaru is on the red team with Tamaki, Haruhi, and Kuze; Kaoru is on the white team with Kyoya and Honey.

Essentially, each team goes through rounds of races in different areas that are like. Complete bullshit games, but whatever. It’s Rich People World. The white team gets ahead; the red team performs a scene from a Shakespeare show to rally their losing team together and begins to win, until they’re on even footing. The final race is between Kyoya and Tamaki.

There’s a heartbreaking series of panels of Tamaki just… thinking about Kyoya. I cannot get enough of it. Then there’s an even more heartbreaking series of panels of Kyoya just… thinking about Tamaki. You realize, alongside the other hosts, that Tamaki pushed for this race not really for benefit or fun, but to give Kyoya a chance to compete in something for real, without having to set it up so that Tamaki wins (as we see in the race for the central salon). It’s a chance for him to win and not put his family first. Tamaki still tried his best, because Kyoya would hate him if he threw the race, but he lost because Kyoya fought with the intention of winning for HIMSELF, and not just playing support to Tamaki or impressing his father.

Finally, in the last panel, it’s revealed that the class trip will be to France.

WHY I LOVE IT:

God it burns so good. So Good. The Tamakyo, the Hikaru & Kaoru character growth, the Kyoya development, the Tamaki being so so so good, the Kyoya being so brilliant, everything oh my lord. This is really one of the biggest points of Kyoya’s character development, and it’s the first place I’m going to point to when thinking accurately about who he is as a person. It shows who he is, and who he believes he is, and who he wants to be, and who other people see him as. It’s also just a Tamakyo goldmine, even though they don’t ever actually talk. It’s so beautiful and it makes me cry.

3. THE ORIENTEERING RACE

(vol 14 chp 66 - vol 15 chp 68)

PLOT:

In an attempt to make Tamaki realize that the hosts all love him just as much as he loves them, the hosts sans Tamaki put together an orienteering race. There are six checkpoints, each one with a task to be completed in order to get an ingredient that will make the best meal at the end of the race.

Hikaru and Kaoru play the return of the “Which one is Hikaru?” game, knowing that Tamaki has been able to tell them apart for a while by now; Nekozawa’s checkpoint is a quiz on cursed items, knowing that Tamaki is familiar with Beelzenef; Honey’s checkpoint is a game of whack-a-mole with little mini Usa-chans, knowing that Tamaki isn’t afraid of making him upset over a game, though all the girls are; Mori’s is a sword slicing thing to show that Tamaki will never give up on something; Haruhi’s is a “tell the truth or never pass” kind of thing; and Kyoya’s is a crossword puzzle of all the answers made up of things from previous club themes.

Tamaki pairs up with Konoya— who is in love with him and is the “perfect Haruhi” trope— and realizes that she’s incredibly different from Haruhi, and that he loves Haruhi for who she is and not who he thought he wanted her to be. He also realizes that— because the hosts have gone through all of this for him— they do love him for who he is, no matter what, no matter the bad parts of his personality, and they’re never leaving him.

WHY I LOVE IT:

Look. We know that anything about Tamaki is gonna make me happy. I am a simple woman and so easy to please. This is literally just three chapters about how much all of the hosts love Tamaki and want him to be happy. I cannot express in words how rewarding it is to watch Tamaki realize how important he is and how much he’s loved— because he is loved, he’s so loved, he’s so so so loved. This is also the arc with the building block / building a home metaphor, and it destroyed me both physically and emotionally (vol 14 chp 66). This is where the found family is really solidified, and we all love a good dosage of found family.

4. RACE FOR THE CENTRAL SALON / THE SCHOOL FAIR

(vol 6 chp 22 - vol 6 chp 26)

PLOT:

This is where the anime diverges from the manga, and I have to say that this version of the school fair is just so much better than the anime version. Like. Just So Much Better. Basically, the club is setting up for the school fair, and the best spot to set up— essentially, the spot that will get the most foot traffic form the parents— is in the central salon. To figure out which club is going to get the spot, they all compete in a literal race, both mind games and physical games and it just slaps overall.

The b-plot is that the Host Club is getting threatening letters telling them to drop out of the race, alongside blank papers that are sent with the notes; the hosts have to figure out who is sending the notes and confront it. This is the arc that introduces both Kuze and Yuzuru Suoh for the first time. Kuze is captain of the football team and Kyoya’s rival and also definitely his secret ex-boyfriend. Chairman Suoh is… just. A lot. Just. That’s it. A Lot. He’s A Lot.

Anyways, part of the winning race is capturing this crown that’s hidden on campus, which turns out to be at a swimming pool. The football team gets there at the same time as Haruhi, and Kuze pushes her into the pool and goes for the crown. Kyoya and Tamaki reach her at the same time— Tamaki’s instinct is to go for Haruhi, but Kyoya tells him to get the crown and thus the glory of winning, while Kyoya rescues Haruhi.

Later, it turns out that Yuzuru was sending the blank papers with harmless messages written in invisible ink as a prank to emphasize the literal hate mail that the hosts were getting. The follow up to the race is the actual school fair, where we meet Yoshio and Shizue. Fuck Shizue, not even going to get into that right now because I WILL cry, but just know that it’s even worse than it is in the anime. Yoshio, though, is eons better in the manga than in the anime— he is genuinely proud of Kyoya and says that he actually wouldn’t mind appointing Kyoya as heir.

WHY I LOVE IT:

Volume 6 does SO MUCH for Kyoya and Tamaki and we all know that I’m ride or die for the two of them. Kyoya finally gets a chance to shine as team leader and it’s what he deserves! Tamaki takes a little more of a backseat, which I don’t even mind, because Kyoya does such a good job of pulling attention here. The scene at the swimming pool is just so good— it really shows the huge amount of trust between Tamaki and Kyoya, and does a good job of setting up the relationship they need to have as Rich People, outside of their friendship, which is something that we don’t see a lot of. Overall, it’s a very Kyoya-centric arc, and it does amazing things for the development of his character and personality. It’s one of the biggest insights into how he functions as a kind of mastermind for the club. We also finally get Tamaki’s full-ish backstory, which genuinely makes me cry every time.

5. THE HITACHIIN FAMILY

(vol 10 chp 45 / vol 11 chp 51 - vol 12 chp 53)

PLOT:

So this is technically two plot lines, but I’m going to count it as one because it’s all about the twins, my loves. In vol 10 chp 45, we get a little insight into the life of the Hitachiin family and why the twins are as fucked up as they are. Quick rundown— their parents can tell them apart but pretend not to for whatever godforsaken reason; Kaoru admits he’s in love with Haruhi for the first time and Hikaru remains oblivious; Kaoru begins to realize how unhealthy he and Hikaru’s relationship is and how, one day, they aren’t going to be able to have all of the same things; there’s a cookie metaphor; Tamaki gets lost in the Hitachiin manion; it’s all a good time.

In volumes 11 and 12, we begin the actual split between the twins, where they realize that they can’t stay the way that they are forever. They can’t be one person forever. They realize this in a fight over Haruhi, where Hikaru suggests they “share” her as a sister, and Kaoru rightfully thinks this is bullshit. They get in their first— and only— genuinely real argument. Hikaru breaks down in Mori’s house, Kaoru breaks down at Honey’s place, literally no one is happy and I am crying.

Kaoru asks Haruhi out on a date, and then ends the date by explaining that he could never date her knowing that it would be hurting Hikaru. Haruhi is, understandably, very confused by this whole thing, and no one is telling her anything.

Kaoru then makes up with Hikaru, saying that he’ll give up on trying to pursue Haruhi, but tells him that they actually do need to live separate lives at some point— and that point might as well be now. He wants to break apart entirely, but Hikaru explains that while they need to break apart in a lot of ways and find their own identities, they can never fully forget each other. They agree that they can influence and love each other without depending on each other for a personality.

They keep up the incest ACT at the club, though. Bisco Hatori couldn’t manage to write her way out of that one.

WHY I LOVE IT:

So this one just. Really hits home for me. It’s a genuinely heart wrenching arc, and the progression of the whole thing was just so slow and so steady and it was so well done. The twins are two of my favorite characters in the show/manga, and their relationship is something that I can analyze for days, and this arc is a huge part of why it’s so interesting. It does amazing things for both of them as developing characters, but it does even more amazing things for their character growth as people. It also provides a nice catalyst for the Hikaru/Tamaki/Haruhi love triangle. Anyways, it made me cry and apparently that’s my only criteria.

6. THE FRANCE ARC

(vol 10 chp 46 - vol 12 chp 56)

PLOT:

On the Ouran 2nd year school trip to France, Kyoya decides he’s going to spend the trip searching for Tamaki’s mother, rather than spending it with the other students. He works himself to death trying to find her— he ends up literally falling asleep on the ground because he’s so exhausted from searching and taking literally no breaks. Kyoya finds her eventually, and has a really nice conversation with her— she has a bunch of photos of Tamaki, and clearly is constantly thinking about him. When he gets back to Japan, he tells Tamaki about her— about how beautiful she is, about how she smiles, about how she thinks of her son every day.

We get more of Tamaki’s backstory, and his close relationship from his mother and how his mantra— living life in Japan to the fullest and being as happy as he can be every day— all comes from his mother. She told him that she’s happiest when he’s smiling, and so when he leaves her behind in France, he decides to be smiling every day and make everyone around him smile as well.

While Kyoya is in France, Tamaki stays behind in Japan— he gets closer to his father, who offers to begin to train him to take over the Suoh business. He visits Haruhi, and tells her a little bit about his life in France, and Haruhi’s love for Tamaki begins to make an appearance for the first time.

WHY I LOVE IT:

So I went into this list thinking that this would be my favorite plot, so it’s wild to me that it didn’t even make the top five. It’s kind of weird and I didn’t expect it, but I’m still satisfied with this list. Anyways, I really love this one, even if it’s not the top five. It’s like. The ultimate Tamakyo story, and there’s just. There’s just so much to unpack there. Like. We don’t have time for me to go through the whole thing and analyze every part of it because there’s just so much of it. It’s so good, and it makes my heart grow three sizes. It’s another brilliant development piece for Kyoya, and shows his softer side, as well as just how much he loves Tamaki.

7. MORI AND HONEY GRADUATE

(vol 15 chp 71 - vol 16 chp 72)

PLOT:

Honey and Mori announce that, after graduation, they’ll be splitting up and going to different universities. This proceeds to emotionally destroy literally everyone except for them. Mori is challenged to a series of duels at the Kendo club in which he has to fight every underclassman who wants the honor of fighting him before he graduates. He’s exhausted and worn down, and he loses to a second year, which is bad for like. Honor reasons. RIP. Anyways. He reveals that he’s just been really worried about something but before he can tell anyone, he has to duel Honey. It hurts.

They start preparing for the fight— which Kyoya is capitalizing off of via movie rights and betting rings— and scare everyone that they’re going to never speak again. When the fight comes, they fight on the Windswept Hill™ at Ouran (the same place that Chika and Honey fight on way back when). They go for it and pull no punches, until Honey tries to do a flying kick and Mori catches him and gently places him outside of the boundaries of the fighting ring, thus winning the duel.

Because he won, he pulls out a sheet of paper in which he’s written down all of the things that Honey needs to do in university because Mori isn’t going to be there to take care of him: brush his teeth, cut down the cake by 90%, and stop bringing Usa-chan to classes. Mori felt that he didn’t have the right to tell him these things until they were on equal level because he had won the duel.

They make up and everything is okay— they graduate, everyone cries, including me. Kasanoda gives Mori flowers, it’s all very cute. Haruhi makes cookies, and when Tamaki goes running down the hallway to find her, they bump into each other and drop all of the cookies. While they’re picking them up, they share the classic ~accidental kiss~.

WHY I LOVE IT:

This is one of the only Honey & Mori-centric plotlines that gets fully fleshed out and like. More than a chapter. It really does lovely things for their relationship, and it’s the end of an era. Even though it’s the end of an era, though, the resolution is incredibly satisfying— Honey and Mori’s stories are wrapping up, but it’s really well done. It’s sad, but it’s a really rewarding ending. They’re such sweet boys. Also, it’s not like they’re gone forever, so it’s all okay.

8. REIKO x HONEY

(vol 10 chp 41)

PLOT:

Reiko is part of the Black Magic Club, and falls in love with Honey when he gives her a hand in getting up after she trips over Usa-chan. However, she believes that falling in love with Honey is equivalent to him “stealing her soul,” and so she uses “curses” to steal his soul back. These curses are basically just love spells.

In the end, Honey tells her to just, like, be herself. Talk about her interests. Get to know him. Be honest. Then she won’t need love spells to make him like her. Even if she messes up or is awkward or says something weird, he’ll still like her because she’s being true to herself. This is one of the only Honey-centric chapters, and Reiko is one of my favorite side characters.

WHY I LOVE IT:

They’re the OG goth x pastel couple. The blueprint for all other couples. Icons. I love them so much. This makes it on the list just because I love their relationships. I also love the whole Moral Of The Story, in that it’s important to be true to yourself. It’s so sweet it hurts.

9. HARUHI AND TAMAKI’S FIRST DATE

(vol 18 chp 81 - vol 18 chp 82)

PLOT:

So. Right after the two of them confess their love to each other, everyone expects them to get together and be a couple right away, but Haruhi is just kinda chilling. She’s not super stressed about dating, it’s just a relief to have said it out loud. Meanwhile, Tamaki is kind of a mess, stressing out over their first date and trying to make it as perfect as he possibly can. Seeing him so stressed, all of the hosts band together to help him out in planning a date. When Tamaki finally gets up the nerve to ask her out, he falls in the fountain and Haruhi has to fish him out. She’s then the one to ask him out to the amusement park.

In true Tamaki fashion, he gets incredibly stressed out again. He gets fashion advice from a series of unfashionable people. The hosts sneak around the amusement park and follow them around, finding out that it’s actually going really well, as long as they’re not interfering. After the Lobelia girls show up and try to sabotage the date, Tamaki and Haruhi run away— while Kyoya Handles™ the situation— and they go to her mother’s grave. There, it’s revealed that Haruhi will be going on an exchange program to America.

WHY I LOVE IT:

It’s just. So cute. Like. I’m Tamakyo for life, but I do adore them so much. It’s lower on the list because of the sheer amount of second hand embarrassment, but overall, I loved reading this one. Tamaki is just so genuine and earnest about everything he does, and I think these chapters do a lot to show why the two of them work as a couple. It also does lovely characterization points for Haruhi, and begins to wrap up the ending. Bonus points for a jealous and heartbroken Kyoya.

10. PRINCESS MICHELLE

(vol 9 chp 38 - vol 9 chp 39)

PLOT:

Princess Michelle comes to Ouran to do a week of school in Japan. After meeting her, Tamaki essentially puts him and the Host Club at her beck and call, doing anything that he can to make her happy, no matter how insanely extravagant her demands are. Everyone else finds this infuriating, until Kyoya points out that Michelle looks similar to Tamaki’s mother, saying that the last time Tamaki saw his mother, she was crying— and if he sees Michelle smile for real, it might help him picture his mother smiling again.

Overall, it’s just a very soft arc that begins to unfold Tamaki’s family-related trauma. It also kickstarts Tamaki’s realization that he’s in love with Haruhi and doesn’t actually have paternal feelings for her (that’s the whole next chapter, but make it funny rather than introspective); and it’s one of the moments that Haruhi realizes that Tamaki is genuinely just a good person.

WHY I LOVE IT:

I wasn’t sure that this one would make the list at all, but I do really love this story. It’s pretty short, just two chapters, but it’s overall really sweet. I like Michelle as a character a lot— she seems a bit like a bitch at the beginning, but she gets fleshed out and given an actual personality as the chapter goes on. It’s a really good example of Bisco Hatori’s writing.

HONORARY MENTIONS:

Mei (character): probably the most significant character in the manga that doesn’t appear at all in the anime, which is pretty tragic, but I think that the anime really wanted to emphasize that Haruhi doesn’t really have any female friends / friends outside of the hosts. But anyways, she’s Misuzu’s daughter and Haruhi’s friend; she’s lowkey transphobic but she’s getting better! Had a brief crush on Tamaki but she ends with being the #1 Tamaharu stan. Great friend to Haruhi.

The masquerade ball: Haruhi's going away party, and the reveal that she's a girl.

Haruhi gets kidnapped: Haruhi is kidnapped and held for ransom, the hosts find her and break down doors to get there.

#ohshc #ouran manga #ouran koukou host club #ouran high school host club #ouran liveblog #ouran #ouran high school host club manga #please rb this i worked SO HARD on it #also please add your opinions #there are a few different lists that are valid. and many that are not.#i will vibe check your lists if you post them

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dracothedeatheatingcupcake-ao3 · 3 years

Text

TPWP One Shot: The Problem with Apologies

Hey guys!!!

So! Yesterday, someone commented on how Mondo had never really apologized to Taka about anything, and I realized that... yeah, I never did have him do that, did I? I always intended on it, but it never fit with the story and the more that time went on, the less sense Mondo apologizing would make sense. I always assumed that Mondo did apologize at some point, though, but I know y’all can’t know that unless I write it.

So! I did!

This is a little mini one shot that fits in between chapter 11 and chapter 12. Which, for reference, is right after their first sleep over after they became friends, but before the pool game between Mondo and Sakura, the chapter that we learn about Taka’s first “friend.”

I will eventually be adding this to AO3 and FF . net, but it’s going to go into it’s own story, something made for these little mini one shots and things like that, if I ever have anymore. If not, it will just be by itself. I don’t want to actually add it to TPWP, since it would mess up the chapter numbers, which I use for my own reference as to when things happened. Plus, I’m... not entirely sure how well it fits in that location??? It’s been a while since I read/edited those chapters, and while I think it fits, I’m not entirely sure. So, leaving it as a bonus thing makes most sense to me. I’m posting this here now, though, since it’s done and since some people have been wanting it. :-) Think of it as a reward for following my Tumblr, ha.

It’s about 4K words, so pretty short for my standards, but I kinda like it. :-) I hope it’s a good apology from Mondo for how he acted in the first 10 chapters, before they became friends.

~~~~~~~~

The Problem with Apologies

Taka sits beside Mondo on the couch, working side by side on their homework. Ever since they became kyoudai (!!) a few days ago, he and Mondo have been doing things like this a lot. Working on homework, studying together, things like that. It’s honestly been a lot easier to tutor Mondo now that they’re friends (and now that the biker is using his glasses, which he’s been fairly good at doing. When they’re alone, at least), which relieves Taka greatly. Part of him had honestly been concerned that things would go back to how they were before, even with their newfound brotherhood, but so far… so far that’s not been the case. Thank goodness…

It’s also been kind of… nice. You know? To have someone beside him to study with, enjoying the quiet with them, helping them when they need it. And Mondo definitely needs it, there’s quite a lot he doesn’t know in relation to, well… everything. But he’s been trying his hardest to listen to Taka when he speaks, to not get frustrated and yell, doing all he can to accept Taka’s help. And in return, Taka has been doing his best to realize when Mondo has had enough and stop before he reaches that point, and it’s all just been… good. Nice. Really, really nice…

Currently, they are both working on their algebra homework, a subject that Mondo is actually pretty good at now that he can see the numbers without struggle. He still needs help figuring out how to do some of the problems, but once Taka explains it, he usually understands and can do the rest of the similar problems without issue. It honestly makes Taka feel so proud of his kyoudai, his heart fluttering with the feeling.

Minutes pass as the pair work, Taka going back to check his completed answers once he finishes the page they were assigned. No words are uttered as they work quietly together, the atmosphere amiable and light. Mondo is relaxed beside him, and everything is just… good. So very, very good…

Of course this peace had to be broken eventually. It always does…

It’s right as Taka has finished going over his work for a third time (you can never be too careful!!) that Mondo finally puts down his pencil, leaning back on the couch. Taka— assuming this means that Mondo is done— turns to face his new kyoudai, smile bright on his lips. The smile dims when he sees the troubled expression on Mondo’s face, the biker looking at the ground with a frown, seeming very unhappy about something. So unhappy that even Taka can notice it, which is saying something considering how bad he normally is at reading facial expressions. It concerns Taka greatly, not wanting his new friend to be upset about anything, really.

As such, Taka carefully does his best to ask the biker what— exactly— is wrong, hoping that he’s not offending the teen.

“K-kyoudai? Are you… alright? You seem… perturbed…” Taka asks softly, nerves filling him at the thought that he said something wrong, and that Mondo is going to yell at him for bothering him. Yes, they’re kyoudai now, but… b-but that doesn’t mean that Mondo won’t get annoyed by him, that he won’t get angry like he has before, that he… h-he won’t yell and storm out and say he doesn’t want to be kyoudai anymore, and… a-and…

“Huh? Oh, uh… n-nah, I’m good, man. Just, uh… thinkin’ ‘bout shit, ya know?” Mondo mutters after a moment, breaking Taka from his thoughts. Taka looks back at Mondo and sees the biker looking at him, though his eyebrows are still furrowed, and his lips are still turned down. Hm… that doesn’t seem good… “The fuck does that word even mean, though? Per… whatever ya fuckin’ said. Swear yer makin’ up half a’ these words, shit.”

Unbidden, Taka finds himself smiling softly, some amusement filling him at the now typical question, even despite the concern he still feels. Mondo always is confused by the terminology that Taka uses… at least the teen feels comfortable enough around him to ask about it! It’s… something.

“Ah! My apologies! Perturbed means upset or unsettled, kyoudai! And I… I apologize for my assumption that something was wrong! I’m… not very good at reading facial expressions, I will admit…”

Taka’s cheeks blush red at his unintended confession, his eyes falling to the ground with his shame. He’s been trying his best to be a good friend to Mondo, but there’s so much he doesn’t know and it’s times like this that that becomes apparent. He… he wishes he knew more about being around other people… he wishes he could be a good friend to Mondo… he… h-he…

Taka startles when he feels gentle fingers touch his cheek, his eyes wide as his lifts his face to look at the teen before him, heart clenching at the sad, somewhat guilty look he finds there. Oh… oh dear, that wasn’t what he wanted… not at all…

“Hey, Taka, it… it’s good, bro. Not a fuckin’ problem. An’, uh… shit. Guess ya could say I’m fuckin’, uh… perturbed, or whatever… j-just, uh. Ya know. Thinkin’ ‘bout shit.”

Taka can see Mondo fidget on the couch beside him, the biker taking his hand back now that Taka is facing him, and he… he wishes he could help his kyoudai with whatever is bothering him… if it’s bugging him this much, it must be serious and he… he wants to help. If he can…

“A-ah, I… I see. Um… would you… like to talk about it? Y-you do not have to if you do not wish! Please do not feel pressured! Just… I- I am here… if you’d like to talk…”

Taka does his best not to fidget as Mondo stares at him following his offer, his cheeks bright red and burning hot. He feels like such an idiot for offering such a thing, of course Mondo doesn’t need his help, Taka is terrible at social matters, terrible at being comforting, terrible at… at everything relating friendship, really, g-god…

“Oh, uh… s-shit man, I uh… I don’t wanna bother you with this shit, ain’t yer problem… t-though, uh… shit. Shit, I… I guess it kinda does involve you, so maybe… uh… fuck.”

Taka watches as Mondo continues to fidget in his seat, his face pinched and tight, the biker clearly uncomfortable but Taka has no idea how to help. Or what Mondo means when he says that it… it involves him… hm…

Feeling very uncertain, Taka does his best to shove away his anxiety and smiles shakily at Mondo, hoping that what he’s about to say will help, not make this worse…

“Ah, I… I see. Well, just know that I am here for you, kyoudai, and if there is anything you wish to talk about, I am more than willing to participate! We are friends, and friends help one another! R… right?”

The sad, sympathetic look Mondo gives him for that comment makes him feel weird inside, his stomach squirming at the look. It’s not the first time Mondo has looked at him like that, especially after he makes reference to the fact that he never really had friends growing up and thus doesn’t really know how friendship works, and he… he doesn’t like it much. Hm… oh dear…

“Yeah… yeah, friends do help each other, kyoudai. I just… I don’t wanna bring up shit that doesn’t matter, ya know? But I can’t help but think that maybe it does, an’ I just… f-fuck, man. I dunno. Don’t even know why I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this shit now. Just… shit. God fuckin’ dammit…”

Taka’s heart clenches further at the grimace Mondo has on his face, and Taka really has no idea what to do. Should he… try and comfort? Reassure? Say nothing and let Mondo handle it on his own? He… he doesn’t know, he truly doesn’t, and he doesn’t want to mess up and ruin things between the two of them, certainly not now that they finally worked everything out and things are good and… a-and…

“Shit. Okay, look, I… I was thinkin’ ‘bout these last few days, right? How… how this shit is nice. Doin’ fuckin’ schoolwork beside ya, not needin’ ta talk ta fill the silence or shit. It… it’s fuckin’ nice, ya know? Ta me at least. An’ I, uh… I was thinkin’ ‘bout how I’m glad we’re kyoudai now. Shit, Taka… words can’t describe how happy I am that we… we’re fuckin’ kyoudai,” Mondo admits, looking kind of embarrassed, but mostly genuine. Taka is confused, though. That… that doesn’t sound bad… right? So why… w-why does Mondo feel perturbed?

Taka doesn’t get a chance to ask before Mondo is continuing, the biker sighing and shifting awkwardly on the couch, looking decidedly uncomfortable, though on he goes…

“But… shit. I couldn’t help but think ‘bout the shit I did ta ya. B’fore we became kyoudai. An’ how I… how I fuckin’ treated ya. The shit I did. The shit I said. An’ I… I fuckin’… shit…”

Mondo trails off, the unhappy, uncomfortable look growing worse. It makes Taka’s heart clench, and he’s reaching out to gently touch Mondo’s hand before he can tell himself not to. He feels his heart skip a beat when Mondo’s lavender eyes immediately meet his, the emotion swirling in their depths too much for him. But he can’t say nothing, can’t let Mondo be upset about something like this, so he pushes the emotion within him down and does his best to smile reassuringly. If such a thing is even possible for him to do…

“Ah, kyoudai! You needn’t worry about things like that! I… I’ve forgiven you for everything that happened before we became friends, you know that! We… we are good, my kyoudai! You needn’t worry about what happened before! It’s in the past and it doesn’t bother me, kyoudai! It… it truly doesn’t.”

Taka can feel his throat get thick and his heart clench again when Mondo gives him a sad look, his smile forlorn and twisted. Oh… oh no, Taka doesn’t want that, he… he…

“But I… shit, man. I never fuckin’ apologized fer any a’ it… did I? The shit I did. How can ya fuckin’ fergive me if I ain’t done shit ta earn it? Ya… yer too fergivin’, man… s-shit…”

Something about the words hurts Taka inside, his heart clenching painfully at the softly spoken statement. He gives Mondo a slightly desperate, pleading look, wishing he knew what to say to make Mondo stop looking at him like that. Like he… he’s unhappy with him, g-god…

“I- I… t-that doesn’t matter, kyoudai! If you- you apologized or not! You have shown me through deed that you regret what you did and I… I know that things are different now and that we are- are friends now. And that… M-Mondo, that… that means more to me than words can say, truly… and I… I don’t need an apology, Mondo… kyoudai… i-it’s truly okay…”

The sad look in Mondo’s eyes gets worse, then, the biker letting out a soft, unhappy sounding sigh. It makes Taka’s eyes water, his breath shuddering in his chest, wondering what he did wrong, why- why Mondo is still unhappy, he- he forgave him, didn’t he? I-isn’t that what Mondo wanted? To be forgiven? Does he want something else from him? God, if Taka knew what he wanted, he’d give it, he swears he would, he just… he doesn’t want to lose Mondo, not so soon, he can’t… he can’t…

Taka startles when he feels a warm hand grasp his own, their fingers twining naturally. It makes Taka’s heart race for a different reason, his cheeks flushed from more than just embarrassment now…

“Shit, Taka… fuck, bro. Ya shouldn’t hafta settle fer second rate shit just ‘cuz… I dunno. Ya think ya gotta. Ya don’t fuckin’ deserve ta be treated like shit… ya… ya do know that, right? That the shit I did ta ya was fuckin’ shitty an’ ya… ya didn’t fuckin’ deserve it? Taka…”

Taka squirms at the things Mondo is saying, feeling very uncomfortable right now. Part of him wants to pull away from the biker, to stop this conversation from happening, not wanting to talk about this, but… but he… god. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to offend Mondo, either, and he just feels so conflicted… hm…

“I… I know that, I… I just… I’ve forgiven you. I- I… I don’t know what else you want me to say, Mondo… k-kyoudai… I… I’m sorry…”

Mondo sighs again, the sound carrying more emotion than Taka can decipher, and it makes him feel awful. God… if only he were just better at this sort of thing, then maybe… maybe Mondo wouldn’t be upset, and they could go back to working quietly together without worrying about- about what happened in the past, about useless apologies and… and things like that. He just… he wants to focus on the future, not the past, he… he wants…

“Taka… fuck,” Mondo mutters softly, sounding so very sad. It guts Taka and he hates it and he just… he wants… but then Mondo is shifting closer. Their hands are still twined, but now he is pressed closer to Mondo, can feel his overwhelming warmth, and it’s so much, too much, and Taka doesn’t know what to think, and he just… h-he just…

“Taka. Kyoudai. I ain’t mad at ya… okay? None a’ this shit is yer fault, man. I don’t expect shit from ya, ‘cuz y’ain’t done nothin’ wrong. It… it’s me who’s fucked up here. I’m the one who did all that shit ta ya. Who acted like a fuckin’ jackass an’ hurt ya. Y’ain’t done nothin’ an’ it ain’t you who’s gotta apologize. This ain’t yer fault. Okay? It ain’t.”

Taka can feel his eyes water more, his insides hurting at the soft, gentle words. Mondo… he… he isn’t mad, he… he’s…

“An’ I… I am sorry. Ya know. ‘Bout the shit I did. Know that sayin’ it ain’t enough, know I gotta prove myself ta ya an’ fuckin’ make up fer my fucked-up bullshit these past couple a’ months. But I… I’m so fuckin’ sorry I did that shit ta ya. That I acted like a jackass an’ hurt ya so fuckin’ bad. That I… I made ya cry so many goddam times. An’… an’ that I called ya that word. That fuckin’ slur. Ain’t shit I can say ta excuse that shit, any a’ it, so I’m not even gonna bother tryin’, but I… god, I’m so fuckin’ sorry, Kiyo… I really fuckin’ am…”

Taka can feel the first tears start to fall then, his insides roiling so unpleasantly at the apology he didn’t expect, and… and didn’t really want. He… god, he didn’t want to think about all of this, didn’t want to think about the things Mondo did to him, the pain he went through at the hands of his now beloved kyoudai, he… he doesn’t…

“A-an’ now I’m makin’ ya cry again… f-fuck, I’m so fuckin’… I’m so sorry, Taka, I… I’m so fuckin’ sorry… didn’t mean ta make ya cry… hate seein’ ya cry, I… Kiyo…”

Taka shakes his head, frantic and fast, and he looks Mondo deep in the eyes. The pain he finds there hurts him badly, and he can’t help how he shifts even closer to the biker, wanting to- to be closer, to… to get comfort, to provide comfort, he- he doesn’t know, he… he doesn’t…

“M-Mondo… k-kyoudai… i-it’s okay! I… I told you, I forgive you, it… it’s okay… a-and it’s not your fault I’m crying, I promise! M-Mondo, I… I’m sorry…”

Mondo lets out a soft, unhappy noise then, and before Taka can feel afraid that he messed up more, that Mondo is unhappy with him again, he… he feels…

He feels Mondo pull him close… the biker’s arms around him, warm and secure, pulling his head to a warm, broad chest. Taka doesn’t know what to think as this occurs, doesn’t know what is expected of him, but he can feel some of the pressure inside of him fade as he allows himself to go easily into Mondo’s arms, the steady thumping of his kyoudai’s heartbeat more soothing than words can say.

“Kyoudai… shit, man. Y’ain’t gotta apologize fer that shit, okay? I don’t need ya ta apologize fer that kinda shit. Y’ain’t always gotta apologize. My fucked-up bullshit ain’t yer problem, man. Neither is my fuckin’ guilt. I hurt you, Kiyo. I should feel some guilt fer that shit, even if ya do fergive me. Yer too fuckin’ fergivin’, man. I… shit…”

Taka says nothing as he buries his face in Mondo’s chest, his breathing more ragged than it likely should be. He can feel Mondo’s hands rub soothing circles on his back, and it makes him simultaneously feel better and worse. Silence descends around them after that, the only sound Taka’s soft sniffling and Mondo’s quiet breathing. It’s… it’s oddly peaceful…

Before long, Taka feels okay enough to pull his face back from the nest he’d made on Mondo’s chest, though he doesn’t remove himself from Mondo’s arms, not… not wanting to leave the warm embrace just yet… and while part of him wants to ignore the conversation they just had and continue on without ever talking about this stuff again, he… he doesn’t want Mondo to think he’s upset with him, or that he doesn’t actually forgive him, or… or anything like that…

“I… I understand, kyoudai, I just… y-you’re the first person to apologize to me, y-you know. For how you… how you treated me… but it- i-it’s unnecessary, kyoudai… you’ve proven through deed that you regret what you did, which is already more than what anyone else has ever done, so you… y-you don’t have to say it… I- I… I don’t want you to say it, I…”

Taka can feel the burning look Mondo is giving him, though he can’t bear to look Mondo head on to see the look himself. He can’t… h-he can’t…

“Ya deserve ta be apologized ta, Taka. Ya deserve ta have people acknowledge the shit they did ta ya. Ya… ya shouldn’t hafta blindly fergive people who can’t even be bothered ta say that shit, I… Taka…”

Taka bites his lip, shrugging stiffly, unsure how to explain what he means. God, is it hard…

“I… I know that, kyoudai. But… I- I don’t know. I- I don’t… I don’t like… h-hm. C-can we please stop talking about this? W-we still have some more homework to finish, I know you’ve not done our physics assignment… and I wanted to go over it to make sure I did it properly… M-Mondo… p-please…”

Taka can feel the burning look intensify, can feel his stomach squirming in response, and he wants so bad for this conversation to be over with already, to not have to keep talking about this, to just… j-just be done with this already, please… he’s forgiven Mondo, he has, he doesn’t know why the biker refuses to accept this, he… what more can he give, he doesn’t know, he just… just…

“I… shit. Fuck. I… yeah. Okay, Taka. If ya wanna move on an’ do our fuckin’ homework… okay,” Mondo mumbles, his tone clearly unhappy, but Taka can’t fix that. He… he doesn’t know how to fix that…

Instead, Taka nods stiffly and moves to grab his book bag that he keeps all his textbooks in, hating himself for his inability to be what Mondo needs him to be. He feels some regret at being forced to leave his kyoudai’s embrace to grab the book, but maybe… maybe it’s for the better…

An uneasy silence fills the room as the pair grabs their stuff and prepares to work on the assignment their teacher gave them. Taka had already finished the work a while ago (like he’d already finished the algebra work, though he’d pretended he hadn’t for Mondo’s sake), but it’s always good to practice! Practice… practice makes perfect…

However… before Taka can start talking about the assignment and explaining to Mondo roughly how it works (even though he’s not one hundred percent sure himself, he’s not the best at physics after all), Mondo… Mondo speaks again… oh, god…

“Hey. Taka. Know ya… ya wanna move the fuck on, an’ I’ll respect that shit, okay? I get that my apology made ya uncomfortable, an’… shit. If ya don’t like it, I won’t do it again, promise. But, Taka… know that I mean it when I say ya don’t deserve ta go through that shit. Okay? An’… an’ while I won’t try an’ do this kinda shit again, don’t wanna make ya upset… know that when I fuck up? I am sorry. An’ I… I will do everythin’ I fuckin’ can ta show ya how sorry I am. ‘Through deed,’ as ya put it. I may be a fuckin’ criminal biker, but I know when I fuck up. An’ I… I won’t make ya uncomfortable, Kiyo, but I ain’t gonna do nothin’ when I fuck up. So… I’ll just hafta show ya how sorry I am. I guess.”

The comment hurts Taka as badly as all the others, knowing he doesn’t deserve it, but he doesn’t say that. He just nods stiffly, eyes firmly on his textbook, waiting for Mondo to open his to the right page. Which— after a tense moment— Mondo does, the biker sighing softly again.

After that, Taka begins talking about the assignment, voice a little too shaky, but he does his best to explain everything the best he can. As time goes on, it gets easier to talk, Mondo chiming in here and there with his own comments on the work. It takes a while, almost half an hour, but by the time they finish the work, things between them are easy again. Taka’s smile is real, and Mondo’s eyes no longer hold the heaviness that Taka couldn’t help but notice. And that… that’s good. It’s… it’s good. Taka determines to forget this ever happened, not wanting to dwell on negative things that don’t matter.

However…

However, as he and Mondo are cleaning up, Taka having a meeting with his local Morals Committee that he’s been working on in his spare time… he feels the urge to say something. Not anything big, but just… something.

“Hey… Mondo?” Taka asks softly, fiddling with the bag strap he has hanging across his chest, eyes on the ground even though he knows how weak it makes him. He can feel Mondo’s curious gaze upon him, and it almost makes him lose his nerve entirely. God…

“Yeah? What’s up, kyoudai? Somethin’ the matter?”

Taka bites his lip, shrugging uncomfortably, not knowing how to say what he wants to say, but knowing he wants to say something. What a conundrum…

“N-no, nothing like that. I just… well. I wanted to thank you. For… for what you said earlier. I know I may not have seemed the most appreciative, but I… I did appreciate your words. Your… y-your apology. It’s just… I don’t need that, kyoudai. I really don’t. Having your friendship is enough for me. I promise you that it is, my dearest kyoudai. I promise.”

A pregnant silence fills the room this time, Mondo’s eyes heavy upon his person, and it makes Taka feel very uncomfortable, though he does his best not to fidget. He still can’t meet Mondo’s eyes, and he… he hopes that’s okay…

“Shit… yeah, I, uh… I get what ya mean. I… shit. I’ve never liked getting apologies either, ya know. Daiya, he… he’d apologize sometimes fer shit that wasn’t really his fault, or even shit that was, but I… I… shit. Never much liked it. So, I… I get it. But that don’t mean I don’t feel it, okay, Kiyo? Sorry fer hurtin’ ya. An’ if I ever hurt ya again, real bad, then I… I can’t promise I won’t try an’ apologize then. But unless that shit is big, I… I’ll try not ta do it. Okay? ‘Less ya tell me otherwise. That… that’s all I can offer, heh…”

Taka finds some hidden strength in him to look his kyoudai in the eye, a small half smile on his lips at Mondo’s words. While it may not make sense, he… he’s honestly glad Mondo promised that. He understands the importance of apologies and he thinks it’s good to apologize to people you’ve hurt. But he just… for himself, he… he doesn’t need that. He doesn’t really even want that. He just wants to move on and forget it ever happened, really.

“I… t-thank you, kyoudai. Thank you.”

After that, he and Mondo exit the room, the biker lifting a hand to wave goodbye as Taka heads to the location that his Morals Committee meets. So far, it’s only him, a couple reserve students, and one staff member, but that’s okay! Taka has started Morals Committees with less people before, and they clearly did well enough that it got him here, didn’t they? So, he’s not bothered by it. All he needs is time, effort, and dedication!

With that… anything is possible.

~~~~~

(In case anyone is confused, Taka’s problem with apologies is that they embarrass him. He doesn’t think he deserves to be apologized to, nor has he ever been apologized to before by anyone, so having Mondo apologize makes him very uncomfortable. I have a similar problem, though I’m not that bad with it, ha. I also put it to kind of explain why Mondo doesn’t apologize that much later in the story. Maybe it’s a bit of a cop out, but eh. It’s something, and I hope y’all like it.)

#Danganronpa #Kiyotaka Ishimaru #Mondo Owada #Kiyotaka Ishimaru POV #Danganronpa fanfiction #My fanfic #TPWP #TPWP mini

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coralstudiies · 4 years

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hello everyone! I got an ask from an anon asking for tips on time management so i decided to type this out before school starts heheh…

poor time management and procrastination, unfortunately, plague just about all of us lol. people with a short attention span (like me) and who are pretty much always on their phone (me again) and who hate scheduling are the most susceptible to these.

over the years i struggled with time management(studying the night before the exam 🤙🏼) but! these are some tips that have helped me in scheduling, avoiding procrastination and improving time management.

1. Write it down

as always, we’re starting with BEFORE the actual task. write all tasks, assignments, projects and homework, test dates down somewhere (notebook preferably so that you dont lose it. it doesn’t have to be your bujo and you do not have to start a bujo for this specific reason!!!) and write the deadlines. this is subconscious pressure to do work once you get home. also, since you can see everything, it’s easier to schedule it out later

2. Use travel time

i cannot stress this enough!!!! sorry that it appears in all my tips posts but it truly is very useful. for short commutes, review the content you’ve learnt so that when you start on your homework, you’ve already got the hang of it. ie you dont struggle to understand the chapter and be put off from finishing your work because you hate it. long commutes can be used to complete work itself. i like to place some books and a file under my worksheet while i write (if i have a seat lol) or you can take this time to plan your time in greater detail

3. Actually plan your time

you dont have to fancy it up with like, brush pens and highlighters. just do something on google sheets or excel. divide the day into appropriate blocks of time.

for me, since i use a focus timer (50+10 or 100+20, rare cases i do 120 with a long break after that) i keep my days in 1hr blocks. so i’d block in about 1hour after i reach home to chill, clean up and so on, 2hrs for homework and the remaining time can be divided by hour/2hours to complete my work. you can tweak the timings to work for you but so far this one suits me pretty well.

4. NEVER RUSH YOUR HOMEWORK AND REVISION WHEN PLANNING!!!!

i repeat, never rush. because when you give only, say, one hour to review 3 chapters and you fail to do so within that time limit, you feel demoralised and hence, will not want to work more. this is a very common issue i believe. sometimes i would rush revise and when i couldnt stick to the timelines, i’ll feel so defeated that i’ll probably binge watch youtube to cure my self-pity LOL

give yourself an ample amount of time. Assign one or two hours a day as ‘delay time’ (this was my free time) so that you can catch up on anything that unfortunately, you couldn’t finish. Assign one day of the week to be the ‘delay day’ -- anything that you cant finish the week before, do it now. this means that you can still ‘save’ your plan even if it screwed up somewhere along the way. it works wonders, believe me! i used to have ‘delay hours’ after training where i would (ahem sadly) study from 2330-0030 if i needed to. while i was tired, i always got my work done.

5. Prioritise

this one needs no explanation. i usually choose which task to start on based on a combination of deadline+importance+graded/non-graded. i start early for graded assignments because they count towards my semester’s final grade and i want to hand up the best quality work i can. find a system which works for you! note: start project work and large assignments early.

you can assign simple tasks first to start the ball rolling, and proceed with harder tasks.

alternatively, if you’re at your prime focus, start with the hardest and scale down to the simple.

6. Make good use of holidays + Wake up early

ok i used to game a LOT and go to training a LOT (still happens now lol) during holidays but i wouldnt get any of my holiday work done.

do your holiday homework first. schedule your time well, and maybe stay home and resist the urge to go out for the first 5 days. finish all your work (again, schedule well) with breaks in between.

thereafter, schedule maybe 3-5 hours a day to revise. if you’re going out with friends, i’d suggest you wake up early to study because once you come home you’re usually dead tired HAHA

so how early is early?? during my o levels study break i would wake up at 0330 (yes, for real) but i slept at 2130 every night. so thats 6 hours of sleep wew but AT LEAST i was very productive. think about it this way: waking up early to study at 0330 makes you more productive than studying till 0330. you don’t have to wake up THIS early, but preferably early enough when the sky’s still dark so that you can fit in those extra hours. DO NOT sacrifice sleep. that’s why you can see i’m still sleeping my usual amount, albeit sleeping and waking earlier.

more perks of waking up early: its quiet outside, the air is cool, your mind gets into the ‘get shit done’ mode, and if you absolutely have to use your phone to search something up, your social media probably won’t be pinging. in other words, early mornings are actually a great time to study! remember to eat something though :>

7. Remove all distractions to prevent possible procrastination

YES i know this is the dreaded one. lock your phone somewhere inconvenient and put the key outside your room. or if you don’t lock it make sure your phone is far away from you as possible. please i know how deadly your phone can get so just put it away.

if you find yourself drifting away and looking at something else, remove that.

alternatively, change up your study environment. you don’t have to go to the library or something (you can if you want to). this is as simple as studying in a different part of the house. a new environment helps to ‘prick’ my mind and help me ignore distractions. i dont know if this is scientifically proven but oh well, worth a try.

8. 2-minute rule

this is something i picked up from @studyquill! it’s pretty helpful (although i was skeptical at first). Tell yourself you’re only going to work for 2 minutes, which helps you get into the workflow. chances are you’ll get so into it (ok not in an excited but rather in a determined way) that you don’t feel like stopping.

if you’ve had a long day and after 2 mins you still don’t get any momentum, just stop and take a 15 min break. that means you’re really too tired and there’s no point in forcing yourself to complete your work.

9. Use reminders

set reminders on your phone for the tasks you need to do. for example, if you’ve planned to start work at 1500, set the reminder to ring 5 minutes before so you have time to gather all your stuff and ready yourself to do work. no excuses!!

set reminders for your breaks as well! those are equally important.

10. Reward yourself

if everything you need to do is done, give yourself a pat on the back. have you been extremely productive? great, treat yourself to your favourite drink/snack. honestly i feel like many of our brains function on the ‘reward’ system. if we reward ourselves for a job well done, we’ll be more willing to complete tasks and stay on time in the future (the brain thinks there’s a reward coming)

remember to take care of your mental health as well! this is one good way to ensure you don’t end up mentally exhausted.

Apps to help with time management

1. Tide - focus timer, meditation, beautiful and calming soundtracks (my fav!)

2. Pendo - everything in one tbh, schedule, to-do list, journal etc. (my fav too!)

3. Forest - focus timer $$$ (free alternative: flora)

4. Donut Dog - focus timer

5. Todoist - minimalist to-do list

6. Minimalist - minimalist to-do list

7. Google Calender - your entire schedule

8. Todait - smart study planner

a quick search will bring out many more! note these are all available on iOS but i’m not sure about google play. you don’t need everything to be productive. i rely only on Tide, Pendo and my iPhone calender and reminders. It’s less about having many ‘tools’ and more about how you properly and wisely utilise them to boost your productivity and manage your time.

also i don't think pendo is very well-known?? so this is how its interface looks like for 'Notes':

it's pretty, simple and clean and there are several themes to choose from! i rly like it omg HAHA (not a promo)

alright that's all! hope it helped :>

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