#so I have seen this character development play out live before my very eyes

[hisui-dreamer]

he lives in you

Characters: Leona, Floyd, Jamil, Lilia

Synopsis: You shared a night of passion with your lover before you left for the other side of the mirror, but fate's cruel hands strike once again as you realise you have to raise his child alone in your original world. Thankfully, your child is incredibly drawn to magic, and they opened a portal...?

Tags: slight angst, fluffy end because im a sap, fem reader, reader gives birth to a child, reunions, bot proofread

Word count: 2.4k+

Notes: uh i was practicing Japanese and researching Japanese names before writing this, so all my name ideas ended up in japanese? if it makes you uncomfortable, you can imagine that reader is japanese hehe

right in time for mother's day, so here's to a celebration of the motherly figures in our lives, blood related or not, for being there for us<3

Part 2✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist

A few months passed as you settled back into your routine at home. Eventually, with the noticeable changes in your body, it dawned on you that you were with child—his child, your lover from the other side of the mirror whom you could no longer reach.

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turn into months. You had adapted to the trials and tribulations of parenthood. Juggling the responsibilities of work, childcare, and household chores was no easy feat, but you found solace in the small moments of your child's growth and development.

Your child was a true joy to behold, a mirror image of their father in many ways, and you often see the ghost of your past lover in them. Having inherited his magic, your child experimented with their powers, leaving you to support them with what limited knowledge of magic that remained from your NRC days.

On one such experiment, your environment started to shift as a wave of magical energy engulfed you. When you opened your eyes again, he was there, right in front of you—

Hina (日来) with 日 meaning "sun, day" and 来 meaning "coming, future"

Leona reminded you of a shining sun that radiated warmth and light in your life, of how the it would surely shine again no matter how dark the night seemed, and so you named your daughter after that image

your daughter has the clearest emerald eyes and flowing dark brown locks that you often braided in a similar style to her father's

she's very energetic, always curious and asking questions, eager to learn more about the world around her

she's an obedient child, although she's eager to seek your affection and may whine a bit when things don't go her way

if there was one thing that was similar to the Leona you knew, it's that she's extremely clingy and constantly seeks physical affection, hugging your legs and asking for you to carry them any chance she has

and also the fact that she enjoyed her naps a bit too much

her lion ears are a bit of an issue in our world, but you often hide them with hoods, clever hair styling, or simply saying it's a costume

when you told her about the brilliant man her father is, she grew really excited about the possibility of meeting him, and started playing around with magic more to be like the intelligent mage he is

and then it happened, just an ordinary afternoon practicing magic had the two of you transported back to twisted wonderland, face to face to Leona

somehow, he had grown even more handsome in the years you hadn't seen him, but instead of his lazy smile, he looked confident and powerful, like the leader he was always meant to be

A sudden gust of magic swept through the air behind him as he raised his staff in response, only to immediately drop it in shock as your figure came into sight, and beside you, a small child that he had never seen before.

"Herbivore..." he whispered.

Without a second thought, Leona rushed towards you, his heart beating wildly in his chest. He felt a lump forming in his throat as he reached out to embrace you tightly.

"This better not be a dream," he murmured into the crook of your neck as he inhaled your scent. "It's really you."

after a tearful reunion and introduction, Leona quickly excuses himself from his duties with a quick meeting with Falena, and helps you and Hina settle into the palace

since you left, Leona's been working hard to do what he can do as per your promise with him

he's now in charge of foreign affairs and on better terms with his brother after much needed communication

he showers you in affection, he's even clingier than before that it almost starts a rivalry with your daughter

he puts in a lot of effort to spend time with Hina, learning her likes and dislikes and bonding over magic

uncle jack and ruggie are always fun to be around and play with her

though it wasn't his fault, leona feels guilty you had to bare the responsibility on your own for so long, and he puts in a lot of effort to make amends for any mistakes work to build a strong relationship with you two

he has a family now, and you're damn sure he'll protect it with his life

Leona looked down at Hina, feeling a sense of pride and wonder at the little girl standing before him. "Hey there," he said, his voice gentle. "Nice to meet ya, kiddo."

Hina stared at him, her eyes searching his face. "Are you my dad?" she asked, her voice small and uncertain.

Leona's heart ached at the question, knowing that he had missed so much of her life. "Yeah, I'm your dad," he said, reaching out to take her hand.

Hina looked at him for a moment before a smile spread across her face. "Can you show me magic?" she asked, her eyes lighting up with excitement.

Leona felt a sense of joy at her words, feeling a connection with her that he had never felt before. "Of course I can," he said, standing up and taking her hand. "What do you wanna see?"

Sakura (桜) meaning "cherry blossoms"

your daughter has sleek teal hair that reminds you of the sea, a single strand of dark hair, and mismatched eyes in the same manner as Floyd

Floyd had lovingly given you the nickname "Shrimpy", and it only felt right for your daughter to be named Sakura, after the tiny sakura-shrimp

she's incredibly mischievous and there's not a moment of silence with her, she's spontaneous and playful and you've got your hands full

though she is very considerate of you and will listen to your words, she's uncontrollable when she's bored and in need of a spark of interest

she's also a squeezer, much like her father, and hugs you every time she sees you or anyone she likes, and you're thankful her strength hasn't developed too much yet

she enjoys biting you, albeit gently, and you find your arms littered with bite marks, but it's her unique way of showing affection

her eel form won't show unless she's been in the water for too long (thankfully), and she enjoys squeezing you in her eel form even more

ever so curious, she's asked about her father many times, and you've told her how carefree and easygoing her father is, and that he'd love her the moment she saw her

which leads you to her magic actually teleporting you to him, her spontaneous idea having manifested itself, and you found in a dimly lit room similar to the Mostro Lounge

Floyd looked matured, his hair sleeked back and his features sharpened, though his wry smile that you loved had stayed the same

Floyd's eyes widened with shock and disbelief, and his steps quickened as he rushes towards you, his long arms outstretched in a gesture of longing. As he got closer, he noticed the beautiful and curious-looking child standing close to you.

"Shrimpy?" he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "No way... It's really you!"

Floyd pulled you close, holding you tightly as if he never wanted to let go. "I missed ya so much, I wish I hadn't let ya go," he said, his voice choked with emotion as tears threatened to spill. "You're not allowed to leave again, okay?"

Floyd is so ecstatic he can't stand still, once he's calmed down a bit, be immediately carries Sakura and drags you to Jade and Azul

Azul and Jade are pleasantly surprised at your return, and it's a warm welcome back

the two of them are glad Floyd won't be moping any time soon

the trio have now expanded into a franchise and divulged into many businesses, though Floyd largely acts as Azul's right-hand man

Now that you're back, he refuses to be apart from you, always holding onto you tightly and afraid you might disappear just like how suddenly you appeared

he does get mood swings where he's upset or angry, not at you though, just at how unfair things were and how he couldn't be there for you

he's a good eel who does everything to make sure you and Sakura are happy and comfortable, often cooking meals for you two

he's so curious about Sakura and enjoys playing with her and lifting her high up in the air

don't worry, he's extremely careful, this precious gem is why you got back to him!

Jade is the best uncle and Sakura wants to marry him??? (honestly same)

poor Azul is getting pranked by the daughter- father duo, though Sakura does comfort him afterwards with squeezes and kissss

Floyd looked down at Sakura, and he saw her staring back at him with wide, curious eyes in the opposite colours of his eyes. Though she resembled him physically, there was an air about her that was so distinctly his Shrimpy.

"Heya," Floyd said, trying to sound friendly. "I'm your dad."

Sakura giggled and reached out to him, her tiny hands grasping at his hands. Floyd froze, not sure what to do, letting her yand his hand forward. But then, she opened her mouth and bit down on finger.

"Hey!" Floyd cried, pulling back in surprise.

Sakura just laughed, her eyes sparkling with mischief. Floyd couldn't help but laugh too, despite the pain in his finger.

"Yer a feisty one, aren't ya, Sakura-shrimpy?" he teased, grinning down at her as he ruffled her hair. "You know," he whispered, "you can't just go around biting people like that. But I like your style."

Isami (功己) 功 meaning "achievement, credit, honour, merits" and 己 meaning "self, serpent, snake."

your son has smooth ebony locks and sharp grey eyes that make him look slightly intimidating

Jamil had shown you how much he valued his achievements over his social status, so you chose a name the could embody him

he's a quiet child who's always attentive and careful

he's rather shy in front of other people, but when it's you he'll soak up all of your affection and stare at you with longing eyes seeking praise

he's a cute helper at home too! he always volunteers to help you with chores and cook in the kitchen, though you're careful he's not close to anything sharp or dangerous

he does have an inherent fear of bugs, something he's inherited from Jamil, but thankfully you've taught him to be less destructive than his father

do expect screams and for him to be crying as a little fly chases him around though

he's incredibly smart and talented at magic, easily grasping the concepts of magic you can only teach him theoretically

when you told him about his father, you've told him about the diligent man that his father is, and how would let his guard down around those he treasured

he had listened quietly without much of a change in his expression, but you could tell there was a bubbling excitement building up in his eyes

and no long after that, he managed to teleport the two of you to a warm, airy room of marble walls

Jamil's features had sharpened, he seemed more openly confident and comfortable with himself

Jamil's heart skipped a beat as he saw you. It had been five years since he bid your farewell at the mirror chamber and lost you forever. And yet here you were standing here in front of him with a child in tow, a child who resembled him so much.

"It can't be..." he murmurs.

Without hesitation, Jamil dropped all the papers and rushed towards you, his heart pounding furiously. His eyes locked with yours, and in that moment, time seemed to stand still. He could see the love and longing still shining in your eyes, and he knew deep down that he had never stopped loving you.

Jamil couldn't stop the tears that began streaming down his face. "I've missed you so much," he said, his voice raspy. "Letting you go is the worst decision I've ever made." He reached out and pulling you into a tight embrace, his arms shaking with emotions.

he's a bit overwhelmed but still so thankful you're back in his life

Kalim barges in at this time and exclaims in surprise at your return and ??? OMG JAMIL YOU HAVE A SON?!!

Jamil has half a mind to dissuade him from holding a banquet immediately to welcome you back, and instead take things slow to not overwhelm you or Isami

asks Kalim for some privacy and the second he's away, he melts into your embrace

he hasn't felt so at ease in so long

if he wakes up in the morning and you're not right there beside him, he's panicking and searching all over the place for some confirmation you're still here

he's very curious about Isami and asks him all sorts of questions to piece together his development and personality

they definitely have a rivalry over who's braver over bugs but it just ends up with the two hugging you for safety

he's a bit awkward with how careful he is with his emotions, so it takes Isami some time to fully trust him

but trust me, Jamil will go above and beyond for his family and there's no way Isami will have to endure what Jamil did in his childhood

Jamil's eyes widened in surprise and wonder. He couldn't believe that they had created a life together. He knelt down to the Isami' eye level and looked into his eyes. "Hello there," he said, his voice gentle and warm. "What's your name?"

Isami starred back at him, his eyes wide with distrust and caution before he buried his face in your legs. Jamil chuckled softly. "It's okay," he comforted. "You don't have to be shy around me. I'm your dad."

Isami looked up at him again, this time with a mix of curiosity and wonder. "Daddy?" they said, testing the word out.

Jamil smiled warmly as nodded, his heart swelling with love and joy. "Yes, daddy," he parroted. "And I promise I'm never going to leave you or your mommy again."

Yuri (百合) meaning "lily"

Lilia's name always reminded you for lily flowers, and what better name for your daughter to embody him?

your daughter has straight raven hair with some of the hair flipping upwards resembling two horns, angular fae ears, and bright crimson eyes

she's always up for pranks and mischief, it's rare to see her without a smile

she loves exploring places, if you keep your eyes off her for one second, she's letting her curiosity take her to whatever she wants

if you're serious and stern though, she will listen to you, she wouldn't dare make her mother upset!

she's friendly with everyone and isn't shy to say hi to neighbors or absolute strangers

she's not overly affectionate, but she definitely enjoys hugs and kisses from you

she has an odd habit of taking stray animals back home in an attempt to adopt them, so you have little adventures with her trying to find an owner

do not let her in the kitchen

she has surely inherited her father's cooking abilities, somehow, she can render even a piece of toast beyond human consumption

magic comes as second nature to her, and she's always standing on ceilings

gosh her eyes absolutely sparkled when you told her about the teasing and mischievous fae that is her father

and soon, the portal opened and you found yourself in a gothic castle lit up by green candles

He's a lot taller, his hair longer and reaching his waist, and more enchanting than ever

Lilia stood in shock as your family figure come into sight. In all his years of living, he had never been so utterly stunned. After all these years, you had finally returned to him.

"Beastie..." Lilia gasped, his voice catching in his throat.

With a surge of energy, Lilia broke free from the trance-like state and hurried towards you, his hair streaming behind him like a dark flag as he enveloped you tightly in his embrace. "After all these years, you've truly come back to me?"

Carefully, Lilia held you at arm's length, studying your matured features, etching them into his memory like a cherished work of art. His eyes traced the lines and contours of your face, memorizing every detail that time had etched upon you.

"My, how you've grown," Lilia murmured, a mix of pride and wistfulness coloring his words. "The years have shaped you into a remarkable individual."

it's family reunion time!!!

he immediately drags you to the throne room where malleus, silver and sebek are

malleus is now king with two incredibly reliable bodyguards, and Lilia's his most trusted advisor

malleus is so glad his dear human friend is back, silver is satisfied that his father will have someone to be with, and sebek is screaming about Yuri, though she enjoys his loudness

for a while, Lilia is extremely affectionate, trying to make up for all the years that had gone by

when you're sleeping together at night, he hugs you tightly and it's difficult to leave his embrace

he definitely tries to cook for you two, going on and on about how the two of you need to stay healthy and need lots of nutrients

you always volunteer your portion for Yuri, and she'll gladly eat whatever her father has cooked for her

silver is an older brother often on babysitting duty, and Yuri loves watching him spar with sebek and also wants to learn

Sebek is quite fond of Yuri, and he sees his half-fae self in her

Lilia is always trying to fun with Yuri, bouncing her high up in the air and teaching her to hang upside down and swing around

plans so many family vacations, he can't wait to be exploring places with his two darlings

"Is she... ours?" Lilia asked. At your nod, he reached out to caress Yuri's cheek, his touch gentle as if he were touching fragile porcelain.

"Well, I'll be damned," Lilia chuckled, his voice cracking with emotion. "I never thought I'd be a father again. But I'm glad to meet you, little one. What's your name?"

Yuri giggled and and beamed at his touch. "My name's Yuri," she said, her voice sweet as honey.

"Yuri," Lilia repeated, his heart swelling with emotion. "What a beautiful name for my beautiful girl," he reached up to fondle her hair. "You know, Yuri," Lilia said, his voice growing serious. "I may not have been there for you when you were born, but I promise I'll always be here for you from now on. No matter what happens, I'm your father, and I'll always love you darling."

Part 2✧Part 3✧Part 4✧Masterlist

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[nattikay]

Jake is a Good Dad and I will Die On That Hill

Howdy Avatar fandom. Over the past six months or so I’ve seen a lot of criticism directed toward Jake Sully as a father, ranging from him simply being a little too strict at best, to outright neglectful and even abusive at worst. This, my friends, is some grade-A nonsense, and today we’re gonna talk about why. Strap in, lads, this is gonna be a long one. Let’s roll.

So before we get into breaking down the events of the main storyline, let’s address the idea that Jake was always the super-strict “military dad” throughout the kids’ lives: put simply, bullcrap.

Out of the film’s over-three-hour runtime, we get to see very little of the Sullies’ lives before the RDA’s return—only about six minutes’ worth. If Jake was meant to be this strict militaristic dictator during this time period, especially in a way that would significantly impact the kids’ character development and their relationships with him, this would be the time to show it, or at least hint at it. But instead of any of that, we really get quite the opposite. Jake laughs and plays with the kids:

Jokes around and cuddles:

Teaches Neteyam to fish:

He even says in his narration:

“Happiness is simple…whoever thought that a jarhead like me could’ve cracked the code?”

Guys, this is quite literally the best time of his life. This man absolutely adores his family with every fiber of his being, they are his whole world. Like, look at him! He has stars in his eyes!!

We have zero reason to suspect that Jake was overly harsh or strict in a way that would impede his relationship with his kids during this time. The Sullies appear to be a normal, healthy, close-knit family. 

It’s only when the RDA returns and reignites war that things change. 

I’ve seen some people claim that Jake’s personality changed it the second movie. I disagree—it was not his personality that changed, but rather his priorities. 

A1 Jake was a disabled marine vet who was offered his brother’s contract after said brother was unexpectedly murdered by some thug on the street…and part of the reason he agreed to take that contract was that there really wasn’t much else left for him back on Earth, so why not go? A1 Jake had just about nothing left to lose, and therefore could afford to be more reckless.

A2 Jake, however, is another story altogether. A2 Jake can’t just run around poking and prodding and taking risks like A1 Jake did because now he has a wife and four children who rely on him and who he loves more than anything else in the world. It’s not just himself he has to look out for anymore, it’s them. He now has everything to lose. He says as much himself:

Not to mention that he’s older now. Did you really expect the 37-year-old father of four who’s been leading the clan for 15 years and is suddenly thrust back into a brutal war to behave exactly the same as the 22-year-old fish-out-of-water ex-marine sent to fill in for his scientist brother out of the sheer convenience of sharing a genome? A2 Jake’s behavior is not a sudden 180 from his personality in A1, it’s a natural progression and reaction for his character given the changed circumstances. 

“A father protects. It’s what gives him meaning.”

This is essentially Jake’s thesis for the movie. This is his #1 priority, his purpose, the lens through which all his actions must be viewed in order to understand them, and it’s important to establish it upfront because it sets up everything else.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at the train raid sequence as its aftermath. Jake begrudgingly allows his now-teenage sons to participate in the war party—from a distance, as spotters. Neteyam seems content to fill this role, but Lo’ak, against orders, eagerly insists that they “have to get in there”, even goading his brother: 

Tailed by an exasperated Neteyam, Lo’ak grabs a weapon from Tarsem and lets out a half-hearted warcry:

...let’s be honest here, Lo’ak doesn’t really seem to be taking this raid anywhere near as seriously as he should be; he’s treating it more like a game—on which point, y’know what, let’s pause to talk about Lo’ak for a moment.

Because the primary purpose of this post is defending Jake, it may at times appear that I am being overly critical towards Lo’ak. This is not my intention—I love Lo’ak as much as I love the rest of the Sully family (which is a lot lol). I think the things he struggles with are reasonable and valid struggles to have considering his circumstances. However, that does not always mean that he is in the “right”. Jake and Lo’ak’s conflict through the movie is not as simple as “son right dad wrong” or vice-versa; rather, it stems from a generational/age gap in experience and priorities. 

In this case, for example, Lo’ak is treating the raid more like a cool action game than a real battle with real stakes. Which may not be much of a surprise—he’s 14! He’s young, he’s naive, he’s never experienced anything close to real war until the past year or so—he probably genuinely does not fully grasp the stakes of this situation just yet. And why should we expect him to, really? He’s never had to before.

Jake, on the other hand, knows the stakes all too well. This ain’t his first rodeo. He was a solider both on Earth (where he was injured severely enough to become paralyzed from the waist down) and then again on Pandora driving out the RDA in a battle that killed several of his friends and allies, including almost completely wiping out the entire Olangi clan. 

Jake understands the risks of war and doesn’t want his kids anywhere near it. We see this not only in the film where he only allows Neteyam and Lo’ak to participate in the raid “from a distance” and ultimately fleeing his own clan altogether once his kids are directly threatened, but also in the comics in which he consistently turns down Neteyam’s pleadings to participate in the war efforts. Unfortunately for him, his sons do happen to be coming of age at around this time and there’s only so much he can do to keep them out of it, so he tries to let them participate in relatively safe ways, like as spotters.

Lo’ak…doesn’t understand this. Not really. And that leads to him recklessly taking unnecessary risks—be it out of curiosity, to get in on the action, or even simply to prove himself. Which understandably scares the crap out of Jake.

When the raid is over, Jake desperately searches the rubble for his sons. He finds Lo’ak quickly and makes sure he’s alright:

…before taking off to search for Neteyam, who he also promptly checks over for injuries. 

which is something I’d like to point out here: although Jake sometimes gets gruff with his sons, he never leads with that. He always always always makes sure they’re ok first. That’s important. We’ll come back to it throughout the post.

Anyways, it’s only after making sure that Neteyam is ok that Jake’s initial bout of fear subsides and morphs into frustration and anger: what were you thinking?! And it’s a fair question. If the boys had followed orders, they wouldn’t have been at such risk in the first place. Once the party returns to High Camp, Jake addresses this point with them, reminding them that by disobeying direct orders they put themselves in very serious danger, and reiterating to Lo’ak in particular that his recklessness nearly got his brother killed and grounding him.

In other words, Jake’s response to his sons going against his orders was…a lecture and a grounding. That’s…a pretty reasonable parental reaction, actually. Sure, you could nitpick and say his tone was too harsh, but given the situation, I struggle to blame him…

…which leads into the next relevant scene: while Mo’at and Kiri tend to Neteyam’s scratches, Neytiri gently chides Jake for being too hard on the boys, concluding with the infamous line: “This is not a squad. It is a family.”

Now, what I find interesting about this scene is that neither party is really in the wrong here. Jake is doing his best to fill his role as a father by watching out for his kids’ physical safety—even if it means being a little strict. Likewise, Neytiri is filling her role as a mother by looking out for her kids’ emotional well-being. As she should!

That said, I think people who use this line as proof of Jake’s supposed parental failure are forgetting the context. While Neytiri’s line is true in general, when the boys sign up to participate in a war party, they kinda do become a “squad”. In that moment, in that context, they are a squad, they have to behave like one lest someone gets hurt if not killed. 

I also think they forget Jake’s reaction to Neytiri’s line:

Look closely. There are tears in his eyes. This dude was terrified of the possibility that he may have just lost one of his sons in the raid, and all his strictness stems from that. And Neytiri seems to recognize this as well, as she can’t seem to decide how to respond. She probably worries about the same thing, after all, even if she handles it differently. 

On that note, let’s look at the next time Lo’ak disobeys instructions: going to the old shack with Spider, Kiri, and Tuk, where they first encounter the recom unit. 

Something interesting about the aftermath of the recom rescue is that no one gets lectured this time actually. Remember what I said about how, no matter how upset he is, Jake always checks to make sure the kids are ok first and foremost? Sure enough, that’s what he does here:

Not only for his daughters, mind you, but also both his sons (we’ll address the daughter-favoritism claims later):

With the recoms now targeting the Sully family specifically, Jake, feeling out of other options, makes the difficult decision to flee and find refuge among the Metkayina clan. 

whoops, there’s that “protection” theme again

When their request for sanctuary is somewhat reluctantly accepted, Jake calls a family meeting and tells the kids this:

Remember how earlier we established how “a father protects” is essentially Jake’s thesis for this movie? Well, this is an offshoot of that: Jake believes that hiding amongst the Metkayina is currently the best was to keep his family safe; therefore, throughout the Sullies’ time with the clan, Jake’s primary goal is to lay low and get along with the clan so as not to tread on their hospitality and get kicked out (even if and when that means setting aside one’s own pride). This, then, is the lens through which Jake’s actions must be analyzed while his family is staying with the Metkayina.

The first time this becomes relevant is after Neteyam and Lo’ak’s little scrap defending Kiri from Aonung and his posse. Jake is clearly not thrilled about Kiri being bullied, but again, his top priority is keeping his family safe and right now this entails maintaining a good standing with the chief, which in turns means that his sons getting into brawls with Tonowari’s son is a very bad look. Which is why, after a moment of internal conflict, he asks Lo’ak to apologize to Aonung (he even tries to explain when Lo’ak protests:)

On that note, while remaining on good terms with the clan has to take precedence at this moment, Jake is clearly quietly proud of his boys for kicking butt, as we see from his exchange with Neteyam (though yes, it is unfortunate that Lo’ak didn’t get to see this bit).

…which brings us to one of the bigger moments that people point to when accusing Jake of being a bad father: the “you bring shame to this family” line. Now, I can understand why this line doesn’t sit right with viewers initially, especially since we have just seen firsthand the truth about what Lo’ak experienced over the past few hours. However, when you consider what’s going on from Jake’s perspective, the line is not quite as unreasonable as it first seems.

Let’s back up a bit to when Lo’ak first returns to the village after meeting Payakan. At first Jake is just relieved that his son is ok (remember: he always checks first)

In fact, once it’s clear that Lo’ak is ok, it seems Jake just wanted to let it go and head home…the real conflict didn’t begin until after Lo’ak lied to take the blame for Aonung.

Up until this moment, Jake only knew Aonung’s side of the story, that he’d taken Lo’ak outside the reef and he got stranded there (it’s unclear whether Aonung specifies that he abandoned him out there on purpose, the little punk, but I digress). But when Tonowari (rightfully) declares Aonung’s responsibility for the incident, Lo’ak speaks up to take the fall, claiming that the whole ordeal was all his idea, which Aonung had tried to talk him out of.

Lo’ak does not have a reputation for lying…but he does have a reputation for pulling reckless stunts that put himself and others in danger, so for better or for worse, Jake has literally zero reason not to believe this claim. 

In other words, for Jake, the situation has just gone from “my son got taken advantage of by the local bullies and put into a precarious situation but he’s home safe now” to “my son dragged a bunch of other kids to a dangerous location where he knows he’s not supposed to go despite the chef’s son trying to talk him out of it, endangering both his life and theirs, getting lost in the process, and thereby worrying and inconveniencing the entire clan on whose hospitality we rely by making them go out of their way to arrange a whole search party in the dead of night just to find him.”

…yeah, no wonder he was flippin’ ticked. No wonder he “didn’t want to hear it” when Lo’ak tries to explain that he was “only trying to make friends”. We as the audience know that’s true, of course, but as far as Jake knows in that moment, based on what Lo’ak himself claimed just moments ago, he was trying to “make friends” by…dragging them out to a dangerous location despite their protests thus jeopardizing both his and their lives as well as his family’s standing in the clan who can kick them out at any time. Yeah, I wouldn’t want to “hear it” either.

When you look at it from that perspective, “you brought shame to this family” doesn’t really seem quite as extreme, does it?

And yes, I feel for Lo’ak here, really, I do; he’s just been through a lot and yes based on the actual events that just occurred his father’s anger is the last thing the poor kid needs and I totally get why it would upset him…but at the same time, I can’t help feeling that he kinda brought this particular lecture on himself by voluntarily taking the blame for Aonung. Not really sure what he was expecting: that Jake would somehow read his mind and understand the way things actually went? That he would see through his lie and praise him for being so amiable towards Aonung by taking the fall perhaps similar to how Neteyam so often claims the blame for Lo’ak’s own reckless shenanigans despite how rude Aonung had been to him thus far? Or perhaps he just blurted out the blame claim as an olive branch of sorts to Aonung (genuinely trying to “make friends” in a way) without really thinking about the consequences of doing so. Who knows. But regardless of how Lo’ak did or didn’t think things would go, I think it’s a little unfair to blame Jake for his reaction. Based on his knowledge of the circumstances, which in turn were based on Lo’ak’s own account given only moments before (remember, Jake had zero reason to suspect he was lying), his reaction is actually pretty understandable.

Speaking of Lo’ak’s adventures with Payakan, the next time we see him clash with his father is when Tonowari lectures him for bonding with the outcast, and Lo’ak defends his new friend. Remember: Jake’s top priority is keeping his family safe which currently means not getting kicked out of the Metkayina. Lo’ak, regardless of whether or not he was in the right, was clearly upsetting Ronal and Tonowari in this exchange—Neytiri is actually the first to step in and warn her son:

…and when Lo’ak persists anyways, Jake has to step in in hopes of smoothing things over with the chief. 

It sucks that this upset Lo’ak, especially because we the audience know that Lo’ak is right about Payakan, but again, Jake is currently more concerned with not getting kicked out of the clan than with his son winning an argument about the validity of a tulkun’s outcast status.

.

...aaaand here comes the hardest part of this essay to write. Admittedly I wasn’t aware of this argument until recently, but now that I know it’s out there I feel obligated to address it here. Apparently some folks are out there claim that Jake did not display a sufficient amount of emotion at Neteyam’s death, and this somehow proves that he wasn’t as attached to his sons as he should have been. And all I have to say to that is: did we watch the same movie?? 

That man broke upon his son’s death. Did he wail and cry like Neytiri, no, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t heartbroken—wailing and crying simply aren’t how his character responds to trauma. He’s a solider, he’s probably trained to delay any external breakdown at least until a given battle is over.

But you can still see it in his face. You can hear it in his voice which breaks and shudders when he realizes that Neteyam is dying and tries to give him a few last words of comfort, wanting so desperately to ease his pain to the best of his abilities. 

...yeah. This man is broken in this moment.

…but his job isn’t over yet. The battle is still raging. He still has three more kids who still need him. As much as he may want to, he cannot take the time to fully grieve in this moment.

…which brings us to the big one, the main line people point to when arguing that Jake is a bad father:

Now, let’s be honest: was this an awful thing to say? Yes, absolutely. Should Jake apologize to Lo’ak for it after the fact, if he hasn’t already? Definitely, one-hundred-percent. I’m not disputing that in the least.

however…

In this moment, Jake has just spent the past however-long locked in a vicious battle, and hardly minutes before watched his firstborn son bleed out in his arms. And now he learns that his daughters—one of whom is a pre-pubescent child with no chance of defending herself—are still caught on the “demon ship” with the recoms, who have just very clearly proven that they have absolutely no qualms with killing these kids. Quaritch taunting in his ear certainly is not helping. 

The only thing Jake could properly focus on in that moment was getting Kiri and Tuk off that boat. Repeat: he wants to get his kids OFF the demon ship, not risk bringing any of them back ON. On top of that, Lo’ak, as established very early on in the film (see: train raid), has a reputation for struggling to follow orders…even when not emotionally devastated by the death of his brother. 

All these things considered, is it really any wonder that Jake did not want Lo’ak coming along on this mission? He’s already lost one son, why in the ever-loving flip flap would he want to risk losing the other by intentionally bringing him back to the danger zone with no guarantee he’ll come out again, especially given his apparent propensity to ignore orders and throw himself into danger? 

Heck, the only reason he lets Spider come is that Spider knows where the girls are and, unlike Lo’ak, Spider doesn’t have that same reckless reputation. Spider, in that moment, appears to be able to compartmentalize the fresh trauma well enough to focus on the task at hand, and can be trusted to do as Jake asks. Lo’ak…can’t. So, Jake wants him to stay behind.

Did he express it horribly? Absolutely. But saying one stupid insensitive thing in a moment of numbness underlaid by grief, pain, and fear does not make him a horrible dad overall, and I think it’s a little unfair to say that it does.

On that note, I do not believe for one moment that Jake genuinely blames Lo’ak for Neteyam’s death. Now, Lo’ak may well view it that way and I’m sure it’ll come into play for his character arc in future movies, which can be a topic for another day, but as for Jake’s perspective, no. I don’t think he truly blames Lo’ak. Even if he couldn’t necessarily process it all right away, I think he knows that Lo’ak is going through as much heartbreak as the rest of the family…especially given that Jake himself has firsthand experience losing a brother. He just said something dumb in a moment of pain.

(On the topic of Lo’ak being unable to follow orders, less than five minutes after Jake, Neytiri, and Spider leave for the ship, Lo’ak…immediately disobeys the order to stay safe on the island and heads back out to the ship anyways. Obviously in the grand scheme of things it’s good that he was there to save Jake from drowning after the scuffle with Quaritch, but still, good gracious son. Way to spectacularly prove your dad’s point.) 

So now we come to the point where Lo’ak saves Jake’s life. After a mutual choke-out with Quaritch, Jake is left to drown until Lo’ak finds him and pulls him to the surface, at which point he gasps for air and chokes out Neteyam’s name. 

This can be interpreted in a few ways. It could be that Jake is so accustomed to Neteyam being the “responsible” one that he irrationally thought it was him coming to the rescue, momentarily forgetting he had died or somehow thinking maybe by some stroke of fate he pulled through after all—this seems to be Lo’ak’s assumption, given that he promptly corrects him.

Now, some may take Jake’s “oh, Lo’ak…” as a show of favoritism, or proof that Jake values his first son above his second. I don’t think this is the case though—I don’t think Jake’s apparent disappointment is about Lo’ak being there so much it’s about Neteyam not being there. In other words, it’s not a personal slight against or disappointment in Lo’ak, but rather a form of still-very-raw grief for Neteyam who, remember, only just died, like, an hour ago.

It could also be that Jake is still so distraught following Neteyam’s death that it’s consuming his thoughts…he was able to shove it down and compartmentalize long enough to fight the recoms and get Tuk and Kiri off the boat, but that compartmentalization broke down while he was literally drowning and it took him a minute to focus and put things back together (which he manages to do a moment later when Lo’ak tries to apologize for his brother’s death):

The most excruciating interpretation I’ve seen is Jake thinking he had drowned and is rejoining Neteyam in the afterlife. ouch. Though that is, of course, just speculation.

Regardless, at this point Jake has just about given up. He’s exhausted, he’s in agony, both physically and emotionally. He’s completely drained. He wants Lo’ak to live but is ready to give up on himself (“I can’t make it. You can.”). It’s only when Lo’ak insists: 

 ...that Jake realizes he still needs to press forward. Because his other kids still need him. His other son still needs him and he’s not willing to give up on him. So he takes a deep breath (literally), puts his trust in Lo’ak, and lets his son lead him through the flooded passageways out of the wreck. When they finally break the surface, we have this lovely moment:

This moment is a resolution to one of Lo’ak’s primary emotional conflicts throughout the movie: living in the shadow of his legendary war hero father and prodigious older brother, finally getting the recognition and affirmation he so craved from that father. Some might argue that in terms of “ideal” parenting that this kind of moment should have come sooner, or that Jake’s recognition of his son should never have been in doubt in the first place, and while there may be some truth to that, I struggle to really blame Jake for it for reasons I just spent the past 4000 words discussing. I think the fact that this moment happened at all shows that despite their clashes and struggles and miscommunications, Jake does and always has cared very deeply about Lo’ak; his lectures and frustrations come not out of malice or some personal distaste, but out of fear for his well-being.

We see Jake comforting Lo’ak again after the family returns to Neteyam’s body on the rocks.

 As I said before, I don’t think for even the briefest moment Jake genuinely blames Lo’ak for Neteyam’s death. I don’t think he would be comforting him like this if he did.

…which, I suppose, brings us to Neteyam’s funeral, and Jake and Neytiri visiting his spirit within Eywa. No parent should ever have to bury their child and good golly gracious this scene ripped my heart out but I digress. I don’t even really have a lot of commentary to add to these scenes…just…just this. It speaks for itself.

look me in the eye and tell me this man “doesn’t care about his sons”. I flipping DARE you.

.

Well, that concludes the debunking of scenes that supposedly make Jake a bad father. But before we go, let’s look just briefly at this scene of him being a good dad with Kiri. I didn’t mention this earlier because while I’ve seen a lot of complaints about Jake’s interactions with Neteyam and especially Lo’ak, few people have qualms with the way Jake treats Kiri and Tuk—in fact, many people claim that he shows favoritism to his daughters, going out of his way “baby” them and treat them more gently and lovingly than his sons. I disagree and hope the above has done a thorough job dispelling that notion: Kiri and Tuk don’t go around throwing themselves headlong into the same kind of danger that Neteyam and Lo’ak do. They aren’t begging to participate in battle, they aren’t disobeying orders that land them in mortal peril. 

In other words: Jake lectures his sons more than his daughters out of necessity, not nepotism. Remember: Jake’s #1 priority is protecting his family, keeping them all safe and alive. That means that when one of his kids pulls a stupid stunt that puts them in danger he feels the need to crack down on that in hopes of preventing it from happening again. Lo’ak is, quite frankly, prone to pulling those kind of stunts, so he gets lectured a lot. Kiri and Tuk do not typically pull such stunts, so they don’t get lectured. It’s as simple as that, really.

Buuuuuut now that we’ve cleared that up, let’s talk just briefly about Jake comforting Kiri.

Like with the scene of visiting Neteyam’s spirit, I don’t have much commentary to add to this scene—it’s a very sweet scene and it speaks for itself really. Jake is very gentle and doing his best to listen to Kiri, even if he is a little unsure about her claims. He doesn’t criticize or invalidate, he just tries to be there for her. What can I say, that’s a good dad right there ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  

One last little point before we wrap up for real: the fact that Lo’ak and Neteyam occasionally refer to Jake as “sir”. I was originally planning to address this earlier but it didn’t quite fit in with the flow of the discussion and I consider it such a minor point anyways, I figured I could save it for a side note—but seriously, it baffles me what a big deal people make of this. 

It would be one thing if “sir” was something that Jake strictly enforced, if it was the only thing he allowed the kids to address him as, if one of them called him “Dad” and he barked back, “no! it is sir!” But…literally none of that is the case. He never explicitly asks them to call him “sir”, and they call him “Dad” just as often if not more.

The kids referring to Jake as “sir” in tense moments is a simple show of respect, nothing more. I recall my own dad also wanting to be called “sir” when we were in trouble and it was never really an issue. And I suppose your milage may vary depending on where you live, but growing up in the southern US, “sir” and “ma’am” are just very common basic courtesy in many situations (not just familial). 

Sooooo….yeah, the idea that Neteyam and Lo’ak occasionally calling Jake sir is somehow proof of Jake being too strict or cold or whatever else is really making a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not that deep y’all.

…aaaand I suppose that’s it for this post. 

In conclusion: 

Look guys, Jake does not have to be your favorite character. You don’t even have to like him, or agree with everything that he says or does. He isn’t perfect (which, by the way, literally no one is). But if nothing else, I hope this behemoth of a post has at least helped you understand his character and why he acts and reacts the way that he does.

Jake Sully may not be a shining beacon of parental perfection from a psychological development perspective (and all things considered, expecting him to be such is, quite frankly, a little silly), but good golly gracious he is trying his absolute darnedest in incredibly difficult and precarious circumstances beyond his control i.e. the RDA coming back to quite literally take over. This man’s family means absolutely everything to him and I’m done sitting back and watching y’all slander him just because he didn’t react to x situation the way you think he should have.

thank you and good night

[deathbxnny]

♧◇♡♤ --- ♤♡◇♧

Hello! I've never requested on your acc before but I've seen many of your works and wanted to give a request.

How about the Stellaron Hunters or the Astral Express Family with a child!reader who's like Ray from The Promised Neverland?

If you had never watched it before, Ray is an orphan from GraceField orphanage, and he's one of the smartest children there. He's very introverted and apathetic, so he mostly spends time reading books instead of playing with the other children.

Like I said before, he's very intelligent and a good strategizer. His plans often catch people off guard, but they do work.

And in the anime/mangga, he's pretty suicidal and tried lighting himself on fire. ( He was quickly stopped because [insert character] caught the match before it hit the floor. )

P. S. Yk Stellaron Hunter anon? They're my older sister 💀

-----♡

A/N: Omg hello! It's so nice to see even siblings enjoy my work enough to request something, so thank you for the request and the information on the character! Also greet the Stellaron Hunter Anon from me!<33

Content: TW!ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, child reader, platonic relationships, angst, hurt/comfort, parental/sibling figure characters

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

》Kafka

Kafka noticed right away, that there was something different about you. You were quiet and reserved, often keeping away from everyone to read your books alone. You weren't sociable and disliked anyone talking to you outside of work related things. You intrigued Kafka alot, especially as you at least seemed to tolerate her. Not that you had much of a choice, with her being your assigned caretaker.

With that said, she often praised you for your intelligence. You were alot smarter than you let on and whilst your plans were a little unique, they still always worked out perfectly in the end. She'd always stand there smiling smugly at those who doubted you too, knowing full well that your plans would work.

One thing she did miss though, was your disinterest in being alive. So it came to a shock to her, when she saw you attempting to light yourself on fire. She never expected it and so she moved fast to stop you from doing so. Kafka quickly pulled you into her embrace, unable to say a word, as she just rubbed your back whilst you cried. You were too important to her to die and ever since that day, she made sure you'd never be alone again either. You had her, after all.

-----♡

》Blade

Blade didn't mind how introverted and quiet you were. In fact, he preferred it, as it meant that you wouldn't ask much of him or annoy him either. You both enjoyed to keep everything to yourselves and only interacted when it was necessary. But this didn't mean, that Blade didn't keep his eyes on you.

He was secretly very impressed by your intelligence and skills, often wondering how such a child could come up with these elaborate and unique plans, that always worked flawlessly. It made him develop huge trust in you and your abilities, going as far as to even ask for your opinion whenever it's needed first. Despite your age, he still respects you.

One thing he definitely found off about you however, is that you were always so apathetic, which he found odd for a kid your age. He often questioned why that was, which would just earn him an indifferent answer. But he didn't need one, as your actions spoke for you. He was quick to shut your suicide attempt down and stop you from trying anything ever again. He isn't good with emotions and doesn't want to live himself. But you still had a chance at a good life and so he'd make sure, that you would have one.

-----♡

》Silver Wolf

Silver Wolf understood how you felt and often left you alone as a result of it. Or at least, visually alone, as she was usually still nearby somewhere to make sure you were okay. She eventually got close enough to you through your interest in books and her love for video games, which made you two practically inseparable. You were both indifferent and mostly introverted, so you got along well.

You always aided her during missions, coming up with elaborate and unexpected escape plans, whenever Herta was close to discovering you two. She also taught you how to hack or code, as you were very intelligent and learned fast. She'd always acknowledge how proud she was of you with a head pat and a snack she gave you.

But even so, she still noticed the darkness that manifested within you over time. She knew your indifference came from a sadder, lonelier part of you and that it was only a matter of time, until you truly had enough. And so, she always stayed close by, stopping anything that even looked like an attempt at your life with ease, whilst acting all natural, despite her aching heart. But you at least knew, that you could count on her.

-----♡

A/N: I hope this was alright! Thank you again for your request!<33

[limerenceheart]

Do you have any thoughts on self aware yandere Dan Heng? Also I really enjoyed your other works so far!

hello! thank you for being my first Dan Heng and for your support! <3 i try to write my works based on the character personality rather than using dark themes to create shock value, so hearing this make me super happy.

i personally think his reaction would be defined by the user's personality whether she remind me of March 7th or MC since they are the girls that he spend the most time with.

trigger warnings - cheating and slut shaming.

accepting requests!

Dan Heng would be slightly shock till he realised that he have bigger problems of being seen as a villain from his previous reincarnation.

At least, she couldn't do anything to him behind a screen, surely he could not be that unlucky.

There was one aspect though that irks him because the user reminded him so much of March 7th when she would do live stream with her friends.

The resemblance was uncanny that Dan Heng would need to hide from March 7th to get his thoughts together before he would reveal the truth to her.

The past already haunted the girl where he was sure finding out about this would cause her to have a meltdown.

Dan Heng doubted that March 7th could keep this a secret and if the crew finds out, chaos will spread like wildfire.

Some things are better left unsaid where he planned to take this secret to his grave.

So Dan Heng decided to be nonchalant about the whole thing and resumed his daily life till one day that the user logged in and seem to be extremely upset since her eyes were puffy.

The young man was uncomfortable when she automatically clicked on his profile and played his voice lines.

To make matters worst, the user proceeded to break down and rambles about an intense breakup.

"Dang Heng, he cheated on me," and Dang Heng was sure that if he have romantic lines, she would pressing the play button non stop.

The urge to run away heightened to a whole other level but seeing the tears streaked down her cheek unlocked a tightening feeling in his chide.

Sympathy ? Jealously? Dan Heng did not know but the sight startled him a lot that he wanted to break the act and speak to her.

The user may have her flaws but she distracted him a lot from his intense thoughts about Dan Feng and she always did clean up the monsters from the streets.

After that, the user started using him as her personal diary by clicking on his profile everyday to tell him about everything.

It was annoying at first but he got used to it and Dan Heng soon developed a curiosity about the outside world.

It's a shame that he could never ask her questions about it.

One day, the user started switching to other characters and her new favourite became Blade.

The worst man to ever exists and his friend decided to latch onto him like glue and Dan Heng couldn't help but feel betrayed at her actions.

It felt like the user just grew bored of him and the realisation made him want to go beat the shit out of Blade.

It wasn't a very sensible idea but the user must be special to him considering he have blew a fuse at the whole predicament.

Dan Heng made the app crashed though by using his spear when he thought that she was going to declare to Blade that he was the best.

The user didn't stay loyal to Blade for long and Dan Heng found his way to appearing back on her screen again.

The damage was done though so when the user played his thoughts about Blade, he snapped.

"Fuck off, you just used me, goes back to Blade slut."

It was worth it when seeing her hurt expression before her eyes widened in confusion, hoping she just misheard him.

[streets-in-paradise]

helloo!!

I'm gonna go on anon with this one cause it's my first time sending an ask n I'm lowkey shy lol

what do you think Achilles type would be(personality and looks-wise)?

Hi!

( Don't worry at all, i'm respectfull of your shyness)

This is an excellent question, I have so many thoughts!!!! ( And for so, this will be long so get ready. )

Let's get to the point: girls this gorgeous man would be into.

( First i'm doing a fem version of the answer because I think of this way too often and, since I am a woman, I tend to think about it from a fem perspective. Just my regular thoughts will take a lot of space lol, so let me know If you want a male version following this reply)

For a start, Achilles as a character is stucked in a paradoxical duality. I believe is the way in which the film makers tried to tell us from a de-mythification perspective that he is a demigod. Through human lenses in his characterization, we see him in two clearly opposite phases of himself that live in constant tension.

He is a soldier who despises the power of Kings, but also a militar leader followed by the myrmidons. For moments, a simple man, yet also a hero who ambitions inmortal fame and glory. There is a part of him that is very commoner, but another that feels royal. Half mortal and half divine, mundane and exceptional at once.

Taking this to romantical themes, i think Achilles can be into girls on a wide range within this dichotomy. The film confirms it, since Briseis is the synthesis of both opposite poles ( a slave girl and a princess, simultaneously the lowest and highest a woman can be.)

Social status wouldn't be a factor conditioning the attention of the myrmidon warlord: he is as likely to go for a slave girl as he is to fall for a free common girl or a princess.

In terms of personality, I think there are 3 core traits he would seek. Achilles likes brave, clever, caring girls. How this aspects would combine would depend of the unique personality of each girl, but it's most likely they would have any form of it going on. This means they don't necesarily all need to be unapologetically outspoken like Briseis. Let's say, for example, that a shy girl stands up against something unfair. He was not used to hear her voice, but now that he did he doesn't want to stop doing it. You don't have the courage to admit your crush on him, but you are calling out a soldier of Agamemnon for abusing of his authority? Achilles is thrilled, now he won't stop paying attention to you.

He loves being surprised, his expectatives challenged even despite you may not be openly challenging him. That's where the cleverness plays a role and, like explained before, he doesn't mind the source of it. Can it be streets wit, playfull trickery or calculative thinking obtained from transiting palace intrigue. Any show of cleverness put in service of courage from a kind heart would get him.

( Movie canon supports this in the moment Briseis schemes the assasination attempt for the sake of the people he may kill. Clever act requiring courage based on the doubts from her kind heart. We can expect different combinations of those 3 aspects would result in a similar effect)

On their approach to him, he also tends to prefer girls keeping a good balance between their appreciation of his core duality. He likes to have a girl admiring all the qualities that made him famous, but will find her way more attractive if she shows to have a mind of her own.

If she is only Interested in the handsome hero, and she has catched his eye, this may evolve into cassual sex, but Achilles falls in love for the woman willing to call him out from his bullshit. It doesn't have to allways develop in a negative way, with this I mean someone willing to scratch the surface of the cocky champion seen in the first ten minutes of movie because they are invested in discovering the man underneath.

To put it in other terms, it's a bit like this quote from Axl Rose I kinda remember from an Interview he did at the peak of GNR. He said that most girls wanted to date Axl as his character on stage, not him. " They don't know me, they don't necesarily want to know me. ", and this is how I think Achilles often feels.

The moment one shows up in his life invested in the complexities of his real self, he won't let her go.

Now speaking of looks, i'm more inclined to abandon canon for a bit with the hiper narrow standards of 2000's Hollywood making the only 3 girls we see him with look practically all the same except for hair colour.

It's hard for me to imagine him having a type when it comes to physical appearance. A short girl looking helpless under him? Lovely, he loves it. An amazon shaped tall girl challenging him to fight? Better call it a first date, he would be flirting the whole time. A skinny girl wearing an oversized garment of his? Perfection. A plumpy belly dancer giving him more attention than expected during a feast? Man is entranced. ( Don't let Hollywood deceive you, he would love bigger girls too. Have you seen the greek statues of curvy Aphrodite with her thick thights and soft belly?)

About his favorite body parts of his woman I can be more precise.

Canonically, he is seen paying attention to hair and I agree. The romance scenes always show some level of worship to his partner's hair. He likes to caress it, smell it, and he does it with surprising tenderness. Getting into spicier territory, I headcanon he has a thing for hips.

( I seriously loved so much to answer this, please come back anytime for more headcanons. )

[cealesti]

"The Benko Gambit"?

That's a chess move, isn't it? I feel like this is either Tom centric, or Ron centric. I have my bias, obviously, because I did so enjoy how you portrayed Tom and his relationship to chess in "with eyes like these", but I would be curious anyhow cause I love chess in general.

As a gambit, it's rooted in the sacrifice of pawns, right?

Wonder what that might say about the focus character. If it's not Ron or Tom, I'm betting on Dumbledore.

oooh, what to say about "The Benko Gambit"?

edit: Right off the bat, this is a fic that's sort of a love letter to a bunch of fics I adore. The idea of Harry as Senior Undersecretary, for example, is straight out of "All For Show". The Snape & Hermione dynamic is something I only thought of after reading Hauntingly. You get it.

This is one of the WIPs I'm most excited about, definitely the one I've written more for, and probably my next big project after the "anybody else" series is eventually done with. This isn't really centered around a specific character, there's an ensemble cast to focus on, but Ron is a very important piece of the puzzle and yes, that's part of the reason I chose to go for a chess-themed title. The objective would be for every chapter to be named after chess manouvers; think "x opening, castling, y defense, check" so on and so forth.

The general strategy [of the Benko Gambit] is to sacrifice your Queen-side pawns in order to gain advantage (...) If the gambit is accepted, some of the lines that can develop are complicated and difficult to play.

This fic follows a back-and-forth structure; we go back between the trio's fifth year and the present moment of the fic, a good five years later. They're drastically different timelines: after all, in the present, Hermione, Snape, and Kinglsey are leading the Order of the Phoenix; Vee is playing at Government with Harry as his Senior Undersecretary and Ron and Draco as his Junior Undersecretaries. Susan Bones is an Auror, Luna is an Unspeakable, and this is very convenient, because Sirius Black has just popped out of the Veil, for reasons still unknown.

You may be asking: how on earth does any of that happen?

Here's a "for want of a nail" scenario: what if, in OotP, Ron doesn't throw Percy's letter away? What if - stick with me here - what if he answers it?

Wouldn't that be a hell of a gambit?

Snippet under the cut!

(September, 1995)

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before.

Three friends sit by a fireplace, late at night in their Common Room. The room is empty but for the three of them and a large ginger cat, who’s content to lay on his owner’s lap and purr up a storm. The rain pelts against the glass windows of the tower, wind whistling sharply, and though the room is warm and cozy and familiar, there’s a whisper of unease in the air.

Something that creeps under the skin, like disease. Like rot.

They’re living through a war, though many would not call it that. Many would rather call a fifteen-year-old orphan a liar, ridicule him in the papers, as quick to turn on him as they are to seek his favour, in a maddening media circus that speaks to the fickleness of public opinion.

You’re sixteen years old. You’re bright, and you’re driven, and you’re scared. You’re a target yourself, too muggleborn and too clever by half, but that’s not even the half of it, because one of your best friends has a target on his back as well, and the rest of the world is more than happy to pretend that it doesn’t exist.

Your other best friend has a letter clutched in his hand. His knuckles are white, ears red with fury and a little grief, for that letter was penned by a brother that he hasn’t seen in months. A brother who walked out on their family, blind to their reason in the face of his pride, and who now urges your friend to do the same.

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before.

The three friends ridicule the letter and the one who sent it. They sit in their fury against an establishment that was meant to protect them. They go through the school year and form a rebellion, a resistance, jump through hoops and outsmart older and more experienced wixen with little more than their guile and their will. At the end of the year, they fall headfirst into a trap. They lose the first of many friends.

This is not that story - though it might not be obvious at first.

In this story, they still fall headfirst into a trap after a misguided attempt at rescue. They still lose a friend. They still form a resistance, outsmart their watchers and all of those who would see them condemned for speaking the truth, and they do it with little more than their wits and their heart and their conviction.

But in this story - they don’t dismiss that letter.

In this story, your best friend, who is proud and brave and selfless, the epitome of what a fairytale hero should be -

In this story, he raises his head, green eyes flashing with something shrewd. Something new.

In this story, he pauses, and says:

“We can use this.”

[roguesscribbles]

My Time at Sandrock FINALLY had its full release, so guess what I've been playing! I made a character that I've grown really fond of and have developed into a full OC, so meet Zoey the Builder!

I decided to draw her in her early game outfit cuz she looked cute in it. I'm still pretty early on in the game so her outfits will change with time. :D

Backstory and character info under the cut!

Backstory

Before becoming a Builder, Zoey previously worked as a freelance bounty hunter, travelling across the Free Cities and beyond. She got into the work through her parents, who were also bounty hunters and trained her as they raised her.

When a job went wrong and she was forced to kill a target who fiercely fought back, she had an epiphany as she looked at her blood-soaked hands. She didn’t want this. She’s not sure if she ever did want this.

Following this, she decided to abandon her life as a bounty hunter and try to make something of her life. Only issue is, this is the only life and skill she’s ever known, and she’d like to avoid another career that’ more fighting. Thankfully, her aunt and uncle living in Highwind were happy to take her in and help her figure things out.

It took some time to figure out what she COULD do. Due to her upbringing, she didn’t have a traditional education, which meant a lot of special education was locked away from her. Eventually, they settled on something that’s accessible to everyone: a Builder.

After going through her training, she was granted her Builder’s licence. At the same time, an interesting opportunity caught her eye. Sandrock were putting out a call for a new Builder to replace the one that was retiring. She’s never been to Sandrock other than passing through, never really need to. She had no ties to an existing workshop, and there was practically no chance of anyone from her old life recognising her there. It was perfect. It was the true start to her new life.

About Her

Late 20’s when the game starts (Mid 20’s when she stopped being a bounty hunter)

Cis Woman, Bisexual

Around 5ft 3in

Due to her past, Zoey struggles to property express herself emotionally. She shut the emotional side of herself for years for her bounty hunting work, and she is trying to cope and recover from that. She usually has a straight face or a resting glare, and she is very quiet, usually only giving short answers and speaking when spoken to. This changes the longer she lives in Sandrock.

As she struggles with her words, she expresses her feelings through her actions. She will give people gifts, varying from things she knows they like to things they’ve said they need in passing, and will help people even if they don’t ask her to. She’s self-conscious about coming across as rude or cold to people (at least the ones she likes) so she hopes that her actions make up for it.

She stopped training and fighting when she retired from bounty hunting, so she’s very out of practice when she arrives to Sandrock. She’s slowly building her skills back up again, this time to help the town and keep people safe. And because Pen kicking her butt and nicknaming her “Skinny Arms” will never not tick her off.

She’s close with her Aunt and Uncle, who both live and work in Highwind. They’re the ones who send her letters during the game, she hasn’t seen or spoken to her parents in years. She met Nia while Zoey living with them in Highwind and Nia took to her very quickly, she could talk more than enough for the two of them.

Zoey wasn’t sure if a Builders like would suit her when she first started but she soon discovered that she loves making things with her own hands. She likes to experiment with different mediums of arts and crafts when she’s not working.

Here's what she looks like in game with the outfit I referenced!

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 Truly, Madly, Deeply Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD Do you believe in love at first sight? ❓ 🦇 Sparks fly when a lovelorn romance novelist and a divorce lawyer who has sworn off relationships agree to cohost a podcast series offering dating advice to viewers. As a bestselling romance novelist, everyone thinks Truly Livingston is an expert on happily-ever-afters. Unfortunately, she feels like an imposter after catching her fiancé cheating learning that her parents are separating. When she meets Colin McCory, she's anything but ready for a relationship, even if Colin drives her a little crazy. Okay, a LOT crazy. Can he change her shattered view on love, or are there no more happily ever afters?

💜 Excuse me while I shove my entire fist into my mouth to squeal in delight from the absolute cuteness of this. For the record, I read most of this between 10pm and 1am with my girlfriend fast asleep beside me. I lost track of how many times I had to stop reading to silence myself before some giddy, disgustingly adorable, definitely disruptive sound of glee escaped my body to keep from waking her up.

💜 Now that we got that out of the way, why are we not talking about this book? You bookish bats LOVE asking about book boyfriends/girlfriends. Have you MET Colin? You need to meet Colin. Just, trust me. Listen to me. Meet this man.

💜 It's 2am as I write this all heart-eyed, with a fire alarm chirping across the house and a storm raging outside, and I don't care about any of it because this. WAS SO. CUTTTE. From the MOMENT Truly sets eyes on Colin, all bets are off. She describes him as gorgeous, her breath hitches, she (a writer) stumbles over her words. We expect that from plenty of rom-coms, right? But the moment they get at it, their witty banter CAPTIVATES, chemistry off the charts, screaming off the page. I told you I had to pause reading multiple times? Every, EVERY time, it was because of a quick-wit exchange between these two. Truly looks at him appreciatively at first, sure, but otherwise tries shutting her heart off. Colin, though? Colin is full-on SMITTEN over her. He's lost from the beginning and KNOWS IT from the very start. And then we get to the smut and woooooh I had to get out of bed to find water and the nearest AC vent.

💜 And then. AND THEN they both realize they're bi but have never been with someone of the same sex, and maybe don't quite feel "queer enough" because of it (please, check the quotes I shared!). Bierasure is a real thing, but it's not often that we talk about internalized biphobia (a topic I haven't seen in a book since Perfect on Paper by Sophie Gonzales). Bisexuality is part of the queer spectrum. We're not confused, and who we're with does not change or negate our sexuality. This was such a perfect scene to read at the start of Pride Month.

💙 The pacing for this one was a bit off for me. While I loved every scene, the momentum doesn't pick up until the very end, and by then, we're nearing the epilogue. The Parent Trap-esque sub-plot, while important to Truly's character development, felt awkward and a bit immature (though perhaps fitting for a romantic who defined love based on her parents' relationship). My biggest hang-up is the lack of real conflict, which is more internal (Truly's doubts about love) than external (which only manifest as Truly keeps Collin at arm's length...briefly).

🦇 Recommended to fans of Practice Makes Perfect in search of a steamy, queer rom-com that's full of tension, heat, and witty banter.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 📚 Bi4Bi / Queer Romance 📚 Contemporary Rom-Com 📚 Parent Trap Sub-Plot 📚 Opposites Attract 📚 Forced Proximity 📚 Witty Banter 📚 Musical Theatre References 📚 He Falls First

💬 Quotes ❝ No one, and I mean no one, deserves to be living rent free inside your head if they aren’t making you come so hard your brain leaks out your ears.” ❞ ❝ “Maybe I don’t want to play nicely with you.” ❞ ❝ Words were her thing, and Colin gave as good as he got. ❞ ❝ Colin’s praise was like swallowing the sun. It left her hot all over, flushed not just in the face but from her hairline down to her feet, damp in the creases of her elbows and her knees, uncomfortably sweaty all over. ❞ ❝ There’s no such thing as being queer enough. Action and attraction are two different things. You could go the rest of your life never dating a woman and it wouldn’t change a thing. If anything, I think you’re the perfect person to talk about bi- erasure in media because you spent the last six years in a straight- presenting relationship that was queer because you’re queer. And the gender of your partner? Doesn’t change that.” ❞ ❝ Truly (11: 16 p.m.): Screw you, McCrory. Colin (11: 16 p.m.): Promises, promises. ❞ ❝ As much as she got a thrill from playing verbal tug-of-war, there was an argument to be made for this tenderness, in laying down her sword and letting Colin hold her. ❞ ❝ With anyone else she might’ve considered the moment broken, but with him it just felt like turning to the next page in a book she’d never read. A book she’d left lingering on her nightstand for weeks, picking it up and putting it back down, her hopes for it so high she feared there was no earthly way the reality of it could live up to her expectations, too afraid she wouldn’t like the ending. She didn’t know what would happen next, but for the first time, the thought didn’t make her want to close the book and it didn’t make her want to flip ahead. ❞ ❝ I do like you. I like your obscure facts and how your eyes light up when you talk about them, when you share them with me. I like it that you aren’t afraid to call me out on my bullshit and that for some reason that’s completely beyond me, you haven’t given up on me even though I’ve given you a hundred opportunities and a thousand reasons why. For some reason you like me and most of the time I’m not even sure why, but you do and I like that, too. I pretty much melt when you say my name, it sounds better when you say it, and when I’m with you, it’s easy to forget what I’m afraid of, but when I’m not, I guess I have a tendency to get in my head.” ❞ ❝ “You said it yourself; we’ve all got flaws. But the day I don’t want you is the day the earth starts rotating backward, okay?” “That’s a hell of a bold statement from a guy who’s known me two months.” “Remember this moment in twenty years. Can’t wait to tell you I told you so.” ❞ ❝ “I see, caffeine and kisses are the way to your heart in the morning. Good to know.” ❞ ❝ Love launched ships and started wars and inspired sonnets and drove people to madness. Love was heaven and hell, sin and redemption. It was as real to her as any other force of nature, hurricanes and earthquakes and lightning storms and meteor strikes. It fascinated her as much as it terrified her as much as it humbled her and— She’d spent her whole life trying to put it into words, eighty thousand of them at a time. Love had to be enough. There was no point if it wasn’t. ❞

[anantaru]

soooo... 🤭 i finished the sumeru archon quest and this was hands down the best archon quest so far, like they really put all their badussy into this one. I love seeing the development in both their cutscenes and story writing as well, whoever wrote the sumeru archon quest give them a raise!👺 i wasn't this emotional in a long time, literally the last time i had tears in my eyes because of a game was when i finished the flame chaser arc in honkai🥹🌸

other than that tho, i like how everyone played their part and how there was actually character development taking place, not to mention that the way they explained everything was nice too so there weren't any plotholes and ??? moments. BY THE WAY 🤭 LISTEN 🤭 al-haitham is my little meow meow, oh my god i have the hots for him so badly heizou look away, he's such a little bitch with his little smirk in the end (also im sorry but his acting skills ??? this man has it figured out, if he doesn't want to be a scribe anymore he can become the best actor in all of teyvat fr) + dottore did it for me as well AND KAVEH OH MY GOD I CAN‘T CHOOSE, al-haitham, kaveh and dottore all stole my heart in this archon quest, they're amazing and i like dottore as a villain too. 🙇🏻‍♀️

nilou's cutscene was low-key funny when the guards watched her instead of doing something at first, also she really dodged a bullet there 💀! scaramouche's cutscene broke me it was so fucking sad, i never heard him say 'please' before or beg for something, that just shows how much he depended on the gnosis and that it was the only reason for him to continue living -> as seen when nahida took it and he just plopped on the floor with his eyes loosing the light in it. In the end though, when nahida deleted rukkha, WHAT IF THAT WAS MY LAST STRAW LIKE DAMN SUMERU BE HAPPY FOR ONCE PLEASE!!!! the lore dump we got had me speechless too, the whole descender thing is very interesting and also how nahida was the first archon to finally tell us useful information instead of dancing around the things we actually wanted to know.

i can't wait for focalors in fontaine, the name sounds amazing (buer sounded so badass too) also since they most likely will base it off france I'm hoping they include lots of the negative aspects of france as well in the story, (i'm part french and born there!) so fontaine was always my number one most anticipated region!!!! all in all 100/10 archon quest, i can't wait to see dainsleif come back too!!! 💗

[triptychgrip]

Now complete: my 34K word, married Viktuuri "Fanfic within a Fanfic"

I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to try to write a Yuri!!! on Ice story that is both meta (see the fake ao3 interface in the above screenshot from Chapter 1) and involves a role-reversal element, but I'm really glad I did: the experience gave me tons to think about with respect to the challenge of paying homage to canon when you're "reversing" characters that have very different personalities. To this point, when I've gotten things down somewhat coherently, I might make a 'reflections' post.

Put It In Reverse For Thirst (which is the name of the fic that married Viktuuri write together and then read aloud/attempt to roleplay) is premised on Yuuri proposing a concept for him and Viktor to write sappy/smutty fanfiction around: one in which he is the 5-time World Champion, Living Legend of figure skating, and becomes coach to a younger Viktor. In their story-verse, Viktor qualifies for his first Grand Prix Final in December 2018, and they meet and dance together at the Vancouver post-competition banquet.

At the point their story begins, Viktor is debuting the Eros program in competition for the first time, and they've been coach and student for a year and a half. By now, their relationship has developed into deep friendship, and while they're both desperately in love with one another, it takes the emergence of possessive Yuuri, a hurt Viktor confronting his coach, and the realization around their banquet meeting nearly two years prior to prompt them to muster up the bravery to confess their feelings.

I'm super, super proud of this story for many reasons, but I think the primary one is that in seeing Yuuri and Viktor "react" to their fic-selves' actions and dialogue in real-time -- because they're reading the story aloud with the intent of roleplaying the smutty parts later -- it gives you a sense of how in awe they are of their own beginnings, and juxtaposes where they are now: married for over a year, and together for over three. Needless to say, there are many happy tears as they progress in reading their fic.

I'm including one of my favorite excerpts below from Chapter 2, which I hope piques your interest in checking it out, and/or my other YOI work! (Note, the first part in brackets is from their fic, while the second is them in "real life") ------- [A feeling of rightness stole over him as he thought back to the very first of their beachside heart-to-hearts, all the way back in June of 2019.

That had been almost a year-and-a-half ago, the conversation serving as the first blow to the pedestal Viktor had long placed Yuuri on, ever since he’d first seen him skate on a tiny tv in St. Petersburg, Russia, as a bright-eyed slip of a twelve-year-old boy.

Their relationship had transformed over the last sixteen months, and now, they were no longer distant god and lowly worshiper.

Nor were they merely coach and student.

For maybe the first time in his life, Viktor could say he knew how it felt to be deeply, closely connected with someone else. Indeed, he had long since accepted that Yuuri was the closest friend he’d ever had, might ever have…

He was his best friend.]

Viktor sensed the touch of his husband’s hand on his shoulder and paused his reading to turn. He smiled at the feel of the sweet kiss pressed to his cheek.

“And you’re mine,” Yuuri said, back to playing with his ponytail.

The fondness in his gaze was obvious, and Viktor hid his flushing cheeks in his neck, nestling it just above the collar of his dress shirt.

“What’s this, Katsuki-Nikiforov, already blushing? We haven’t even gotten to the big kiss or love confession, yet,” Yuuri teased, poking at the ticklish spot right underneath his ear.

He yelped out a laugh in response before leaning back to make eye contact.

“Well chop chop, then, Katsuki-Nikiforov! Let’s get these two lip-locking, stat!” Viktor cried, pointing at his pile so that he’d get the hint to take over.

[burning-sol]

Had a talk with someone about traumacore somewhat recently, and it's got me thinking about the weird backlash it got all over again. People seriously approached the subject matter with no nuance, no understanding, no want to understand, and ended up basically just telling traumatised people to go back to hiding where nobody else could see them.

People earnestly would ask, "but why do these artists have to use cute characters? they shouldn't have bad things happen to them," and not see the obvious answer bestowed upon them by they eyes. I wonder why people would be portraying innocent characters, arguably symbols of innocence in themselves, as going through bad, undeserving things. I wonder if there's any context there. At all. I wonder if the artists have any sort of experiences that they obviously blog about that could shed light on this.

"People shouldn't make trauma an aesthetic though," truly being the most mind numbing of takes as if you could, again, not just see what is being blogged and come to understand that despite being trauma'core' this art has no intention to be an aesthetic. "Well why don't they just choose a different name then," <- the words of someone who has no idea how communities or linguistics develop. Sometimes the words and labels that come to be aren't well fitted to what is being represented, but that's just how shit works. For example, I personally don't like a particular ship name in my community, I think it's confusing and ill fit, but am I going to call those people bad because of a name that has come to be integral to the community? No. The community in the time before I was even active came together to make that ship name, and has become attached to it, and it's not my right to say that nobody should use it because it doesn't fit perfectly.

"But what if people are harmed by the art." You can avoid it?? Block the tag. And if someone goes out of their way to trigger themselves by not blocking it and engaging with it, that's none of your business, and you're not at fault for someone else's issues. Mental health is fucked up and it's not your place to speak over other people and say what's good for them when everyone heals and improves in different ways at different rates. You know what's actually harmful? The fact that trauma victims are likely to be victims of trauma again, and there are people on the internet who seek them out KNOWING this. The traumatised people minding their own business and making art to comfort themselves (which can also be comforting for others to see) are not the problem here. Tired of traumatised people being talked over by others who have no clue what its like to live that life, trying to tell them what is or isn't acceptable and what they think they should do to heal. It's NOT your trauma to bear, and it's NOT your trauma to heal.

And leaving my least favourite for last, I've seen people who don't HATE traumacore, but still feel the need to make fun of it (in a not friendly way) because of the artistic choices at play. I do think traumacore can look silly, but so can a lot of art depending on your own sensibilities. Sometimes what people think are well rendered art pieces, I think are too maximalist for me to not giggle at. And I'm allowed to giggle to myself, but would I then go about saying, "how does ANYONE take this seriously???" Ideally not, because that would make me a self centered asshole. Sometimes you have to let yourself sit with art for a while rather than just glancing at it passingly and brushing it off. Look at the art and sit with it, engage with it, earnestly recognise the elements at play and the style and the intentions behind the artwork. Art can exist outside your sensibilities and that does not dimish it in any capacity, that just means it's not for you.

Also, to point out the obvious, so obvious I nearly forgot to make this point, YOU'RE MAKING FUN OF ART ABOUT A *VERY* SENSITIVE TOPIC. But let's not forget this art is not only ABOUT trauma as a general subject matter, but also a lot of the art can be tied inextricably to specific incidents the artist has experienced. These aren't just vague pieces of art that say "what if hello kitty was sad and hurt," this is art that can be horrifying recounts of what someone actually experienced. There is someone on the other end who has been hurt, and you're laughing at the work they made to express that. "But what if they aren't trauma victims like you say," I was engaged with the traumacore community for I don't know how many months and I NEVER came across art that wasn't made by someone without trauma. Even people who reposted traumacore were still people who were victims of trauma. These blogs were all run by people, ALL blogs have people behind them, and it's no surprise that every blog I came across was ran by someone who was traumatised.

Traumacore is not a silly trend people want to hop on. People who 'hop on the trend' are usually people who have recognised for the first time that they've been traumatised, because it's quite literally a symptom that trauma victims are unable to recognise or acknowledge their own traumas. And even if people WERE hopping on it as a trend, making fun of them still harms the others who are engaging with the art earnestly. You can't just trash an entire community because there are a couple of bad actors, that's just shitty behaviour.

So yeah, that's my big rant on why people who make traumacore are the coolest and I love them and their art and I think traumacore deserves to exist and be respected. For fucks sake, just think about something for more than two seconds or, idk, actually try to engage with the community and art before you just to conclusions. The answers to your questions are literally right there in the text itself, you just gotta put in the effort to read it and process it.

[brainbuffering]

The Invisible Man and His Soon-To-Be Wife Manga Review (A: Iwatobineko T: Elena Kirilovna L: Vanessa Satone E: Kristina Korpus)

[ID: English Book cover of The Invisible Man And His Soon-To-Be Wife by Iwatobineko Vol 1. An invisible man in a pin stripe suit and polka dot tie sits on a plush green leather sofa. He reads a book in one hand, and holds the hand of the young woman next to him with the other. The girl has a red/brown bob cut, and wears a long black skirt with a matching black sweater-vest over the top of an untucked cream blouse. Her eyes are closed, and her spare hand grasps her skirt in her lap. Text in calligraphy underneath reads “we were meant to be together.” END ID]

I put this book as my most anticipated for 2023 and so when it finally came out I felt honour bound to write an immediate review! As I said before, I am always on the look out for new series with disabled characters in the lead and as a fan of goofy and cheesy romance this one did look promising! 

The story is a series of short comics following Yakou Shizuka – a young visually impaired/legally blind woman who works as an assistant at a detective agency – and her boss Tounome Akira – a dapper detective whose body is invisible. The series takes place in an 'anything goes' fantasy world that combines Furries, Elves and Aliens in a seamless melting pot. So if you're looking for a serious detective story, this is not the series for you. The "cases" exist mostly for humour's sake, without any sort of reward or character development put in place through them. 

Artistically the series stands out due to its use of sky blue backgrounds. Whilst it definitely makes for a visually pleasing alternative after reading lots of just black and white manga, it does equally feel like a little bit of a cheat's way out of drawing backgrounds. A stone I throw knowing full well that I live in a glass house. I do think that Iwatobineko did an excellent job of drawing all of Tounome's suits though, so if you're a fan of dapper men in dapper suits, it's definitely worth taking a look at. 

I love the concept of a person who cannot be seen falling in love with someone who cannot see. Whilst the series plays into the "I lack one sense so all my other senses are increased ten fold" trope I don't mind it in a fantasy setting, especially as it still presents Yakou's disability as something very real. It's interesting to note that the series only presents her disability as a problem for her in relation to how other people behave. She would not have had a problem walking to work if someone hadn't thoughtlessly left their bike in the middle of the road. If nobody had sat in her preferred spot then she'd never have sat down in someone's lap! It presents these things in a light hearted way, appropriate to the tone of the series, but still does – in my opinion – an honest job of pointing out that it is not always disabilities that are debilitating, but rather having to live in a world where able-bodied people do not take your needs into account.

I also appreciated how Tounome's invisibility was presented as often disabling. Whilst Yakou suffers from bumping into unexpected objects, Tounome is the one being bumped into by strangers. He also struggles to take care of himself sometimes due to not being able to see his own body, something that he and Yakou bond over. With only one volume out so far, we're only just scratching the surface of what sort of stories can be told but I think so far it's off to a strong start.

I am not visually impaired (although my MG does cause intermittent double vision so I suppose jury's out on that one) so I cannot judge in terms of whether the series offers good representation or not, however I was happy to see that Iwatobineko did their research. In the back material they talk about how they consulted numerous visually impaired people at the Kansai Student Library (http://kansaisl.web.fc2.com) before writing the series. This research shows through in the little things, such as Yakou's use of assistive technology in both her day-to-day life and her workplace. 

I appreciated that in the opening page when describing the world that these characters exist in we see not only a crowd of different fantasy races, but multiple disabled characters too! Including what I am going to insist is a cameo of Yuki and Itsuomi from "A Sign of Affection". 

I would add that the series does feature a "Dark Elf" and "White Elf" couple, where the male "Dark Elf" is the only recurring character with dark skin. Many before me have spoken of the inherent problematic nature of "Dark Elves" as a concept. The choice to use "White Elf" as the social counterpoint rather than "Light Elf" is perhaps a little troubling, especially since the series leans into the couple being seen as deviant in the eyes of elf society. The couple themselves are the manga trope of "Husband is a goofball who can't read the room, and the wife is a sophisticated beauty who will drag him away violently by the collar" so I don't feel as though they're falling into any particular racial stereotypes, but this is absolutely a "Your Mileage May Vary" situation that I don't feel qualified to speak on with any authority. I'd be very interested to hear the opinions of BIPOC folks on this one though! 

Other than the decision to go with "White Elf" over "Light Elf" (although I am still not certain which would be best and would be happy to take consultation on that one!) I felt as though the translation read very smoothly, and everyone had Very clear characterisation. The lettering was solid, and I enjoyed how different typefaces were used throughout to convert tone of voice. I felt as though it helped to aid with the characterisation and humour of the series. 

On the whole, I don't think that this manga is going to be any sort of game changer. It's a fun little series of sweet romance stories about an engaging couple but doesn't really go anywhere beyond that. Whilst I do want to see how their relationship develops, I am not routing for them in the same way I route for – say – Kyo and Tohru from Fruits Basket. If you're looking for a romance featuring disabled characters that has a little more depth to it than "I Hear the Sunspot" would probably be more your speed. 

However, true equality is that there are just as many light hearted romcoms about disabled folks as there are about able-bodied ones! Whilst I wouldn't say that you should rush out and buy the series immediately, if you're looking for some non heteronormative stories that explore romance between disabled people it is something I would recommend reading. 

I would give it a solid 3 stars in total! 

[clairelsonao3]

Happy Storyteller Saturday!

Are there any places, objects, or even people in your stories inspired by or directly borrowed from your real life?

Share a snippet if you like 💜

Thanks for the ask, Winter! Happy STS! So sorry it took me almost until the next STS to answer! I wanted to make sure I did it justice.

And your answer is:

Yes, many. I think virtually everything I write is to some extent seeded in reality, no matter how wildly the story diverges from there.

My YA romantic thriller The Adored (which I haven't shared much about here yet) was heavily inspired by having grown up in a musical family (with members who were much more successful at it than I was!), singing in school choirs and musicals, and then later being involved in the indie music scene during college and grad school. Some of the MCs, their friends and family share personality traits with friends and even family members of mine, although altered enough to be unrecognizable (I hope!)

Even Good Slaves Never Break the Rules, as out-there as the plot is, has some drawn-from-life elements sprinkled around.

I started writing it almost eight years ago to entertain myself on a transatlantic sea voyage (that's worth another whole post altogether), and some of the characters and early situations (I won't say specifically which ones!) were inspired by that. In general, the unusual dynamics that pop up when strangers from vastly different origins and roles onboard are pressed together in a small space with no choice but to work and spend time together (although needless to say, very soon, my imagination wildly diverged from what actually happened 😂). There were numerous other influences of course, including several plays and other works of literature, but those are best suited for yet another post, I think.

And yes, I did live in Arizona and even went to university there [although the one I attended has been ported over to the larger city to the north for plot purposes], though I didn't grow up there and have lived abroad for years now. (I do go back frequently, however). The excerpt I'm going to use -- after much thinking and probably some more interesting snippets I'm missing -- has to do with that. As it happens, the university (and its fictional, relocated counterpart) is actually world-famous for its research on both optics and astronomy, which explains why it's host to one of the world's largest liquid mirror telescope labs -- which of course found its way into GSNBTR, only appropriate given the characters' interests in science.

The direct route to the mirror telescope was in a red brick building not entirely on the other side of campus, but almost.

"Hey, it's — what are you doing?" she exclaimed, chasing after him. "You’re going in completely the wrong direction.” 

“Maybe it would help if you actually told me where we’re going.” 

“Maybe it would help if you’d listen to anything I said!"

He crossed his arms impatiently. "Well?"

"The mirror telescope building,” she said. “To meet someone named Milagros.”

To her shock, his whole expression transformed before her eyes. “Wait. Mirror telescope? The Zenith telescope?”

“Yeah, it’s made out of liquid — "

“Liquid mercury, I know," he continued eagerly. "In a paraboloid shape. It’s the biggest in the world outside of the Himalayas. They’re now testing the same technology in microgravity to see if they can build one like it in a crater on the moon.” 

If she weren’t still so angry, she might have actually smiled at how this sudden overload of sheer science-geekery had his eyes shining like she hadn’t seen them shine in days.

Lastly, anything concerning business, finance, and/or the world of startups and technology is drawn partially from my interest in those topics I developed writing about them as part of my IRL writing job.

Thanks for a great question!

[roninkairi]

Quick Review- "The Super Mario Bros. Movie" (SPOILERS ALERT)

Anyone who knows me already knows how much of a Mario fan I am. Hell, my family could probably tell you some wild tales about my Super Mario Bros. addiction during my grade school days. But even the announcement in 2018 that Nintendo was going forward with Illumination to make an animated feature length film based on their flagship franchise made me more that a little overly cautious; after all their previous effort (the live action 1993 film) did not exactly do them ay favors either (and while were at it, the TV shows, while memorable, still leave much to be desired). This also is not the first time that the Mario Bros. would be in an animated film (Back in 1986, there was an anime called “The Great Mission To Rescue Princess Peach!”, which never got a US release. Doug Walker actually reviewed it so if you want you can look it up)

Fast forward to now. The movie has now made about $600 million at the time of this review and has yet to be released in Japan. I have a feeling though that after it is released it will make a lot more. And I’m not just saying that because I’ve personally seen this movie twice. That’s something I very rarely do as far as my movie theater habits go  and if I do that its most assuredly a sign the movie in question is worth my time.

“The Super Mario Bros. Movie” serves as an origin story for the two Brooklyn born plumbers, the plot being straightforward and simple much like the mainline Mario games: the two siblings somehow find themselves whisked away into another parallel dimension and get separated, with Luigi ending up in the Dark Lands and Mario landing in the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario enlists the aid of Princess Peach and, along with Toad, sets off to save Luigi from Bowser, the king of the Koopa tribe, who just acquired the Super Star. The group journey to the Jungle to enlist the aid of the Kong Army, led by Cranky Kong and his son, Donkey Kong.

As I mentioned before, the plot is pretty straightforward and to the point: at 92 minutes there is quite a bit going on and it comes at you fast. Not too much time is spent on character development for certain individual members like Luigi and DK. We get a revelation about Peach’s backstory (not being from the Mushroom Kingdom is certainly an eye raising reveal) and hints about the relationship between DK and his dad, but its not really a focus. You get the sense that Nintendo wanted to play it safe with the story, but at the same time you want just a little bit more. Thankfully the story is enjoyable as it is, and has enough humor, action and equally touching moments to sustain itself. A lot has been said about the choices for casting in the film and for me, while the choice of Chris Pratt was very questionable when I first heard about it I was glad I took a wait and see stance to it. He did quite a good job in the role and so did Jack Black as Bowser in all of his evil, kinda hammy. Scene chewing role. Of course, his demeanor changing whenever the subject of Princess Peach being brought up is also VERY notable. I mean dude practically sung a love ballad about her (TWICE) and stole the damn Super Star just to try to impress Peach. I can understand that though, given how she is in the movie. Princess Peach, voiced by Anya-Taylor Joy, serves as Mario’s guide and possible love interest in the movie and instead of being the person who has to be saved for most of the adventure, is the more action oriented and confident character accompanying Mario. If the prospects of Peach jump kicking Bowser, using power ups and generally willing to throw down with a gang of Koopas at a wedding reception seem to be alien to you or out of character, I will assume you have never played Super Mario Bros. 2…

…or Super Mario RPG…

…or Super Paper Mario…

…or any Mario Party games…

…or Mario Strikers…

…or Super Smash Bros…

…or the Mario + Rabbids games.

You’re lucky I didn’t even mention the stuff she did in the Super Mario Adventures manga! Anyway the point is, she is pretty darn awesome in this film. Fred Armisen’s take on Cranky is…well…ok why does he sound like Larry David? I half expected to hear "Frolic" by Luciano Michelini play when he got caught oy the Para Koopas on Rainbow Road.

Visually, the movie is animated very well and does a great job of animating the worlds in great detail, including familiar locations from across the games that you may immediately recognize. There are also TONS of audio and visual easter eggs and references not just from Mario history, but Nintendo history as well. (Quick show of hands, who found the Wave Race reference? The Hidden N64 Controller? Who found Mr. Game and Watch or recognized Disk Kun) The movie happily, and with no shame, throws in all of these nods to Nintendo’s past and I have no issue trying to find them all. Which says a LOT about my attention span. There are 4 different licensed songs used in the movie though but their inclusion doesn’t really detract from the enjoyment. (Ok 5 songs. One of them is directly tied to Chris Pratt and another certain movie series he is involved with.)

The movie is not exactly perfect and that’s ok. I was not expecting a huge scale thought provoking movie that makes me question the motivations of humanity (I’ll save that for whatever DC movie comes out next) I just wanted a fun adventure anyone and everyone can enjoy. And this movie certainly delivers on that.

[dotthings]

The idea that a 23 episode season is necessary to flesh out characters and show different, fun situations, to pause and let the story and characters breathe and develop has no connection to my direct experience watching tv shows.

Speaking from the pov of intaking the story, “reader” pov.

The quality of the writing, choices on pacing, the size of the cast, the budget are all factors that can impact story, but I’ve seen large ensembles do deeper character more satisfying character interactions in 8-13 eps a season than some smaller ensembles do in 22.

Shows with 8-13 eps a season can make their worlds feel real and deep and rich in ways some 22-23 ep shows of the traditional era couldn’t. Maybe that richness in part is a by-product of seasons where the budgets aren’t stretched thin—if 22 ep season and a 13 ep season cost the same overall, the 13 ep season will have more money to deploy per episode, so there’s a richer, deeper feel to it.

Some shows are shorter because in fact their budgets are so high, and the results are beautiful but it’s expensive to make. A 22 ep season would be prohibitive costs and each episode would suffer for it.

Most of this pertains to the streaming model. Linear broadcast is a different model, an linear broadcast is gasping to keep its life.

It’s not great news when linear broadcast series get episode orders cut. It means budgets have been cut. It means danger of cancellation. It’s rarer on linear broadcast still. But since linear broadcast stories are practically an endangered species now anyway (and genre is almost completely extinct on linear broadcast) it’s almost moot. More change is going to come. Full length seasons are turning into unicorns even on linear.

But in the overall, TV shows as a storytelling format have evolved over time. “Filler” eps are over-rated. Or my definition of “filler” is very different than other people’s. Short seasons do eps that break their format. Long seasons do eps that break their format. That’s not “filler” that’s called doing something innovative.

“Filler” to me is oh not this again and low stakes episode I feel like I’ve seen before, it’s just a different dead body/monster/planet/threat. Something has to fill those 22 hours for ad time slots.

Length isn’t the determiner of brilliance and when I think about the incredible 8-13 ep season shows I’ve enjoyed, some of which have been wildly innovative, outside the box, or doing outside the box things playing with a box formula, this popularized nostalgia for the supposedly inherently creatively superior in all ways 22-26 season era starts to rankle. Saying this as a fan of many shows of that era.

Maybe it’s because I’m gen X and so I watched a lot of 22-26 ep season glory days series as they aired instead of inhaling a whole series in 2 weeks on streaming and experienced the frustrations of the longer season format live.

Fun fact, the reason traditional linear broadcast (which is different than cable network or streaming business models) had such long seasons was ad revenue. Networks wanted to fill up the broadcast hours slots during a traditional tv season time period. (A scheduling model that’s fading before our eyes).

Now, with streaming having to cry uncle and moving back to an ad revenue model, maybe longer seasons will return someday. I don’t know. But they can probably make more money capping seasons at 13 and it’s a completely different world and business model than it was in the 90’s and 00’s. (And the 80’s was an extra bloated era full of filler eps. I love many of those shows too but the formula wore out and styles moved on).

Seeing some really beautiful work on shows get trashed solely because people claim short seasons made them trash, it’s gotten old.

It’s dumping on the work of creatives who are having to work harder and be more innovative to tell their stories effectively in a shorter format for less salary (because fewer eps to write and they’re paid per ep). And it’s dumping all over TV as a format, period. If you no longer enjoy TV that’s valid. It doesn’t mean it’s a universal truth that longer seasons = better storytelling.

How is it people can understand that a film with bloated runtime is not necessarily creatively superior to a brilliant tightly plotted 90 minute masterpiece but not get this about TV seasons?

[twin-scars]

-Edit updated to add songs I missed throughout the seasons.

Sleepless nights make me over-analyze. I've been going through the music in some of my favorite scenes (mostly those that pertain to Jonathan and Nancy, whether collectively or individually, with a bit of Stancy thrown in because, well, why not).

I started in Season One. (All the themes themselves are pretty self-explanatory and don’t need interpretation, but I’ll mention them anyway. Plus it gives you an idea how much better seasons one and two are in comparison to three and four.)

Nancy is studying in her room. This is right after she fights with Karen about not being able to 'study at Barb's'. Every Little Bit (Jackie James & Ian Curnow) I believe the time is right / Have to tell ya I'm hear over heels in love / Too afraid to let you in Pushed you away, now it's gone far enough / I never felt this way before / Don't wanna wait one second more 'Cause every little bit of my heart is true / This is where I belong

Very much a song appropriate for Nancy crushing over Steve. A lot of the music in season one gives depth to the characters and relationships. I think that gets kind of lost in later seasons...But anyway, Nancy is developing a lot of feelings for Steve. True, she's changing herself to fit in with him and his friends, but she genuinely likes him and wants his approval.

When Steve is helping Nancy study Africa (Toto) It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you / There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do I bless the rains down in Africa / Gonna take some time to do the things we never had / Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

The song is literally about a guy talking about how much he loves Africa, but the lyrics are romantic, and it fits how Steve and Nancy feel about each other.

In episode two, Jonathan is driving to see Lonnie. This is the song right before Should I Stay Or Should I Go comes on, and it's such a Jonathan song. Go Nowhere (Raegan Youth) You're a gonowhere! / And you don't care! / You're a gonowhere! You're not even there! Living your life on the conveyor belt / No time to think so your brain just melts No destination you're lost inside

Like...good grief, he really thinks he's stuck in life. It's so depressing.

And while Jonathan is parking to see Lonnie Dark Stars (Mark Glass) I can't understand the lyrics for the life of me, but it's heavy with the synths and edgy, which seems right for Jonathan's confrontation with Lonnie. I'm Taking Off (Shield Your Eyes) -- (Space Knife) Drifting through space / all I feel is cold / all I want is the power of the night / and you to hold / and I was wrong to let you go / and now we'll never know Jonathan is confronting Lonnie about Will. Jonathan no doubt blames himself for Will's disappearance (hence the 'I was wrong to let you go') (Fun fact: this band isn’t from the 80s, the song came out in 2013, and the band is based in Atlanta.)

Later on at Steve's party while they're all throwing themselves in the pool (except for Barb) I Melt With You (Modern English) Moving forwards, using all my breath / Making love to you was never second best / I saw the world thrashing all around your face / Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace / I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time / There's nothing you and I won't do / I'll stop the world and melt with you

Fun and flirty, kind of romantic, but not too heavy. Just another fun song that fits Steve and Nancy. Their feelings for each other are still new-ish and the attraction is high. It's cute and light.

This Isn't You (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is played multiple times throughout the series. I think in season one I heard it while Nancy and Jonathan were at the police station. But it seems to be Steve and Nancy's theme, because most of their scenes have this song or some variation of it. It's sad, because Nancy (in the beginning) changed for Steve. So much so Barb said it to her several times, afraid that Nancy would leave their friendship. But even when Nancy and Steve start embracing who they are, they're just not compatible. Nancy is always holding back from Steve.

She probably loved him at one point, but since losing Barb her focus in life changes, as do her feelings.

Waiting for a Girl Like You (Foreigner) I've been waiting for a girl like you / To come into my life / I've been waiting for a girl like you (waiting for a girl) / A love that will survive / I've been waiting for someone new (I've been waiting) / To make me feel alive / Yeah, waiting for a girl like you (waiting for a girl) / To come into my life Nancy is sleeping with Steve for the first time. Even this early on we can tell that Steve adores Nancy and knows she's different from any other girl he's dated. Carol and Tommy even make fun of him and say he's in love with her. But it's sad, though, because Nancy is changing who she is in order to fit in with Steve and his friends. Steve knows that's she still different though--her speaking to Jonathan in the hallway is testament to that. Photos in the Woods (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) Jonathan’s theme. He’s (obviously) taking photos in the woods. It’s heard in a later episode when Jonathan and Nancy are in the dark room trying to figure out what the demogorgon is, and Jonathan gives Nancy an apology. Later on it’s followed by Something in the House (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) which is while Nancy and Jonathan are in the woods, and then it’s Tendril (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) when Nancy gets stuck in the Upside Down. The track is literally twenty-six seconds lol. When Jonathan rescues Nancy, it’s No Weapons (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) because, obviously, Nancy was defenseless in the Upside Down. Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart) While, she's deceiving me / It cuts my security / Has she got control of me? / I turn to her and say / don't switch the blade on the guy in shades, oh no / don't masquerade with the guy in shades, oh no / I can't believe it / 'Cause you've got it made with the guy in shades, oh no

It fits Steve’s mood when he’s driving to Nancy’s house to check on her: Also foreshadowing a bit, as Nancy masquerades how she really feels after they get back together at the end of the season. Hmmmm. Tribulations (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is beautiful. It’s melancholy, lowkey anxious, but also really sweet, which is the mood between Jonathan and Nancy when they’re in bed together. When they wake up, The Upside Down (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is during their discussion on how to help Barb and Will. When they escape out Nancy’s window, I See The Future (Andrew Pinching) is blasting on her stereo. The beat is really good and I wish they played more of it as we see Nancy and Jonathan shopping for bear traps but instead we have The Bargain Store (Dolly Parton) Why you take for instance this old broken heart / If you will just replace the missing part / You would be surprised to find how good it really is / Take it and you never will be sorry that you did / The bargain store is open, come inside You can easily afford the price / Love is all you need to purchase all the merchandise / And I can guarantee you'll be completely satisfied WOW. Jancy song, especially on Jonathan’s end. But of course it all comes crashing down with

Speak of the Devil (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) because Nancy is being slut shamed and Jonathan is being harassed which leads to them fighting and starts Exit (Tangerine Dream) which is so emotionally packed I think of Jonathan fighting every time.

At the police station This Isn’t You is there, again. I guess because this is Steve and Nancy’s theme is why it’s played? I don’t know. 

And just like Exit (Tangerine Dream), Run Away (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) has the same emotionally charged vibe. Steve is choosing Nancy over his friends.

They Found Us and Spiked Bat (both by Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is while Jonathan and Nancy are preparing to fight the demogorgon. Jonathan and Nancy have quite a lot of little themes in this season. Something in the House is played again when our monster hunting trio are trying to slay.

At the end of the season, we hear This Isn’t You again while Nancy is giving Jonathan his present. Once more it’s subtlety reminding us that being with Steve isn’t who she needs to be with. Season Two:

Which we get more of a feeling for when Steve and Nancy are talking in his car. Talking in Your Sleep (The Romantics) plays in the background: You tell me that you want me / You tell me that you need me / You tell me that you love me / And I know that I'm right / 'Cause I hear it in the night

Perhaps Nancy started talking in her sleep. Besides nightmares about Barb and the Upside Down, it's possible she dreams about Jonathan. But I think it's more like how Steve feels about Nancy. She's the love of his life and she does tell him she loves him when he says it.

The music that's associated with Steve and Nancy are romantic, but feel so fairy-tale like. The sentiments are sweet, but there's not much substance to them. They're cliches and that's what Nancy has called Steve.

In the hallway when Nancy is walking to her locker, First Kiss (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is heard, and that's Mike and Eleven's theme. Why play First Kiss for Steve and Nancy? Nancy is looking at Jonathan walking away, so perhaps it's in reference to Jonathan, who is the one she really wants to kiss. This is not to be confused with A Kiss, which is Steve and Nancy in season one.

Nancy and Steve, and Nancy herself, seem to have sad songs attached to them. When Nancy visits Barb’s parents for dinner, Eulogy (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is such heartbreaking song. Nancy misses Barb terribly, which is why later on in the library A Familiar Face (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is heard. but when she runs to Steve for comfort... This Isn’t You is repeated yet again when Steve says they should just act like stupid teenagers. I get the feeling that Steve and Nancy aren’t supposed to be together. How many times is this theme played? As Jonathan drives Will to the Wheelers, it’s Blackout (Swing Set) Blackout, blackout - blackout tonight / Oh, oh - and the city hides Watch out, watch out - watch out tonight / Oh, oh - lock your heart inside /  And you're lonely tonight / and you need someone - someone to hold on Foreshadowing that Nancy is going to get black out drunk and she’ll need Jonathan to hold onto, because we know Steve is going to ditch her. Although I hate that Girls On Film by Duran Duran plays when Jonathan shows up to the Halloween party. We don't need a reminder of Jonathan taking an inappropriate photo of Nancy (which he did apologize for, by the way, and never does it again). When Jonathan takes her home it’s the beautiful, gorgeous theme Outside The Realm (Big Giant Circles). It fits so much within this scene--Nancy’s need for Jonathan’s support, her grief and depression about Barb swallowing her whole. It’s sad all the way around. The Ghost In You (The Psychedelic Furs) A race is on I'm on your side / And hearing you my engines die / I'm in a mood for you / For running away / Stars come down in you / And love, you can't give it away / Inside you the time moves Nancy and Jonathan are talking about her relationship with Steve and Jonathan confirms he is the one that took her home. The conversation expands and they discuss how nothing in their world will ever be the same. Nancy gets the genius idea to take out the government. The whole song is very much Jancy and how Jonathan is ride or die for Nancy. How I Feel About You - Jumpstreet No lyrics for this, but one listen will definitely will have you thinking Jancy. This is the scene where Mrs. Wheeler stops Jancy to say hello to Jonathan. When Nancy calls Barb’s mother, Spiked Bat is present.

Fresh Blood (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) is when Nancy and Jonathan are driving away from the lab to get to Murray’s.

When Jancy is together, the pattern of the songs are more deeply romantic, focusing more on love than cliché promises. At the motel, trying to rent a room, Try My Love (Carroll Lloyd) plays: After everyone get you down / I know I must be a fool/But here I am standing around Begging you to try my love / Try my love / And I know we can make it, yeah You may think what I'm saying isn't true / If you believe in me, you can bet your life / I believe in you Oh like I need you / Oh I want you

The attraction between them is pretty undeniable. Just like Steve and Nancy's theme is This Isn't You, Jonathan and Nancy's is Scars (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). (And later on, The First Lie). It doesn't have quite as much of a sad undertone like This Isn't You, but both are heavy with emotion.

On the way to Murray's, Jonathan plays Can I Do What I Want (Shock Therapy): My hands do the work they know so well / My mind hides the feelings deep inside / A feeling that there is another way / Thinking maybe there is something I can't hide / Doing what I can, can I do what I want, what I want?

A good song for taking down the man, but it also kind of hints at Jonathan and Nancy burying their feelings yet again. Of course Murray offers his advice: There Is Frost On The Moon (Artie Shaw and His Orchestra & Helen Forest) There's frost on the moon and snow on the ground / But with you around / There's Spring in my heart. / Don't need my racoon / 'Cause everything's fine, As long as you're mine / There's Spring in my heart.

Awwwwww, these two so belong together.

The night they spent together at the motel sucked since Nancy was mad at him. At least at this point, though, they both know their attraction was mutual. They spend time with Murray making sure the lab burns to the ground and he pushes them together, and when it's time to sleep, the tension ramps up.

You Better Go Now (Billie Holiday) You'd better go now / Because I like you much, too much / You have a way with you / You'd better go now Because I like you very much

Leads into...

The First Lie (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) which is Jancy's main theme. It's the music that plays when they kiss for the first time. It's more hopeful and upbeat. Scars in comparison is much more dark and emotional, but it’s played more often.

Next morning is breakfast at Murray's Blue Bayou (Roy Orbison) Oh that boy of mine / By my side / The silver moon / And the evening tide / Oh some sweet day / Gonna take away This hurting inside / Well I'll never be blue / My dreams come true / On Blue Bayou

This is such a Jancy song. Oribson said himself it's about 'loneliness that precedes happiness' and that fits Jancy perfectly.

And at the end of the season we have the Snow Ball.

Twist of Fate (Olivia Newton-John) A higher voice has called the tune / Two hearts that lost the beat will now resume / The gift of life extension by divine intervention / It's gotta be a strange twist of fate / Telling me that heaven can wait / Telling me to get it right this time / Life doesn't mean a thing without the love you bring / Love is what we've found the second time around / Don't understand what's going on / Woke up this morning, all the hurt was gone / This is a new beginning / I'm back in the land of the living

I think it's kind of referencing all the couples, but it fits Jancy the best. Both Nancy and Jonathan have been depressed and grieving. Jonathan's way of life will never be the same, because Will's isn't the same. Nancy lost Barb. And during the year they were apart, they had feelings for each other but kept them buried. Season Three

Jancy's theme changes to We Don't Understand Each Other (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). We all know about Jancy's fight. Interestingly enough, this song doesn't get played again, as far as I know.

Later, when Jonathan is developing photos for Nancy at the Hawkins Post dark room,

All Your Reasons Why (Smart Remark) These times and words are wearing thin / To stop and think of how you've been in life / To draw up one conclusion in your mind / And make it right, for all your reasons why / And you hurt me when you cry

Pretty appropriate for the scene afterwards. We know Jonathan hates seeing Nancy upset, and knows she wants to be right more than anything.

Six Facts (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) Jonathan and Nancy are getting yelled at by Tom. Pretty easy to see what this song means. Poor Jancy. And later on when Jancy is investigating Tom's house there's Heather's (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). This one is self-explanatory too.

In Our Hideaway (Valentino) Elevator music, literally. Jancy make up. But why pick such a specific song titled 'In Our Hideaway'?

You're A Fighter (Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein) is when Jancy is saying good-bye. It's safe to say that both of them are fighters--not just of monsters, but of their relationship. They don't break up, choosing to go the 'traumatic' route and stay together.

Season Four (there’s not much here at all)

Journalistic Instinct (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) I don't know if this is another Jancy theme or a Nancy one. Maybe it's a bit of both. Jancy are great detectives.

Palm Tree Delight (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) Clearly Argyle & Jonathan's theme

Scars (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) plays while Jonathan is staring at the picture of him and Nancy on the fridge.

This Isn't You (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) in a later episode, maybe in the one after (?), where Nancy is pulling spiders out of Steve's hair. If this couple is endgame, or has even a possibility of a future together, why not create a different theme? Instead we have the depressing This Isn't You again, which reminds us that Steve and Nancy aren't compatible. Yet...

Does That Make Us Friends? (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) I assume is Nancy and Robin's theme. Nancy is explaining what her relationship with Jonathan is really like. She's venting her frustrations to Robin. For a theme, this song sounds so bizarre. I don't know, it just sounds off to me? Maybe not off, but it's like a mixture of sounds that shouldn't go together but they do. And it's dark and emotional.

Later on, Scars plays again right before Steve jumps into the lake to find watergate. I imagine Nancy is thinking of Jonathan, wishing he were there with her and Steve. You can't blame her--they all kicked ass in season one against the demogorgon. But it confuses me because...

She Wants Me To Find Her (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stine) is during the scene where Eddie is telling Steve to pursue Nancy. This song was way back in season two, with Eleven pursuing Kali in episode 7 ('The Lost Sister') We know El finds Kali, but ultimately leaves her. Interesting choice, unless they're trying to subtlety show that Steve and Nancy will eventually have a doomed relationship (because El left Kali, which leads me to think Nancy would leave Steve again if they were to get back together).

What I love in season four, is when Nancy is being tormented by Vecna, the theme is called Soteria (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). Soteria is a greek goddess that ensures safety and gets people out of harm's way. Basically salvation and protection from harm is her thing. BUT BUT BUT it's also the name of the device in Henry/01's neck. Useful for nullifying his abilities. Essentially, Brenner named the device after the greek goddess of salvation and deliverance. Clever! The song works for Vecna and Nancy--Nancy because Vecna releases her, and we learn about Vecna's past.

We know that after this, Nancy is determined more than ever to destroy Henry/Vecna/One, but Steve is thinking of something else.

Fire and Rain (James Taylor) Been walking my mind to an easy time / My back turned towards the sun / Lord knows, when the cold wind blows It'll turn your head around / Well, there's hours of time on the telephone line / To talk about things to come Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground / Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain / I've seen sunny days that I thought would never end / I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend But I always thought that I'd see you, baby / One more time again, now

It's on the radio as Steve is making his famous speech. The song itself is depressing, as James Taylor explained it discussed s*icde, drug addiction, and staying in a mental hospital. Not exactly an uplifting song. But it seems to imply Steve wants one last chance with Nancy. She doesn't look thrilled, which leads to the theme

A Proper Thump (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein). Steve credits Nancy for helping him change, but in reality, I think it was more Jonathan's punches that got through.

When the Cali Crew return to Hawkins there's the return of Eight Fifteen (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) which gives off a happy miraculous vibe. We heard it back in season two when El returns from staying with Kali.

The last interaction between Jonathan and Nancy is them repairing Hopper's cabin. Tammy (Kyle Dixon & Michael Stein) goes well here. It was back in season three when Robin was confessing to Steve she really liked Tammy, and revealing to him she's gay. It's a heavy conversation with a confession, the kind of conversation Jonathan and Nancy (mainly Jonathan) is trying to avoid.

Okay I'm done now lol