#so like. how does that work. how do you get convinced to buy a product by someone who

[gender-euphowrya]

sometimes i get in a mood to watch documentaries about stuff i've never heard of and will never have an opportunity to talk about in my life

[headspace-hotel]

Problems like climate change, where solving them requires millions of people to collectively work at hundreds of different solutions at once, are black holes for internal peacefulness because they give you a type of frustration where you alternately become bitter towards yourself or everyone around you. "If only I could work harder to fix the problem!" makes you exhausted, so you must become angry at others: "If only they cared about the problem!"

People who are already working on fixing climate change need to convince more people to work on it. And a popular thing is to share writings that describe how doomed we all are if climate change is not fixed, how terrible everything will be because of climate change, and how quickly all the treasures of our world are being lost.

There is a particular understanding of human behavior that is being accepted here without thinking about it hard enough. Popular news media shows headlines with terrible prophecies, written that way in hopes of getting the attention of otherwise disinterested people, who will then be "motivated" to fix climate change.

The trouble is that fear is no good for motivating thoughtful, patient, steady commitment to solving a problem. Fear is made to cause an organism to avoid things that might harm it. It creates a brief and explosive pulse of action where the organism's energy pours out as it instinctively, thoughtlessly reacts to escape the danger as fast as possible.

It's silly to blame people for avoiding thinking about climate change. The point of an organism responding to stressors is to avoid them. Oftentimes, the only tool people are presented with is personal choices about what products to buy, which inevitably is horribly frustrating and stressful, since a person will frequently be coerced by their situation into buying a certain product, and even if they don't they see others doing it all the time.

Relentless exposure to imminent threats that cannot be escaped causes Trauma, which severely impacts a person's ability to be resilient to stressors.

I think there is definitely a type of trauma associated with being constantly aware of the destruction of the environment and feeling helpless to do anything about it, especially since we as humans have a deep need for contact with other living things and aspects of the natural world, such as trees, water, flowers, and animals—a need that is often totally denied and treated as merely a Want or a hobby meant only for certain people who enjoy particular activities, like Hiking or Gardening.

We need to expand our minds on how this disconnection can hurt a human being. Imagine if a child's need to be loved by their caregivers, a person's need to be loved by their friends and family, was treated as a desire for indulgence or luxury, or a certain use of free time!

Yes, yes, one person has a condition that makes it hard to walk up hills, another doesn't like the bright sunshine, another is allergic to the grass or fungal components of the outdoor world, but WE ARE PART OF THE FAMILY OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH and WE EXIST IN SYMBIOSIS WITH THE ENVIRONMENT WHICH TAKES CARE OF US. Who showed you what beauty was, who taught you to feel peace and relief inside you in the form of a caressing breeze and rustle of leaves, who gave you awe and wonder at seeing the stars or the mountains? Where does every delicious food come from but the soil teeming with creatures? Isn't the most perfectly sweet berry grown from a plant, nurtured by the soil and pollinated by the bugs? Don't you feel delight at seeing a springy carpet of moss, a little mushroom, or a tiny bird? Think of all that the trees give us. Whose breath do you breathe? Whose body frames your home?

The writings of Indigenous writers such as the book by Mary Siisip Genuisz I am reading right now show me that the other life forms are our family. They take care of us and provide for us, and they would miss us if our species disappeared. Isn't that a powerful, healing fact? I think everybody is so enthusiastic about the book Braiding Sweetgrass because it is a worldview that those of us coming from the dominant colonizer culture are straight up ravenous, starving to death for.

Maybe, I think to myself, humans can experience a kind of trauma from being deprived a relationship with their Earth, just as they would experience trauma from being deprived relationships with other humans.

I really believe that it hurts us to be surrounded by concrete instead of soil, to see a majestic tree cut down on a whim without any justice possible, to see wild animals mostly in the form of mangled corpses on the roadside, to have poison sprayed everywhere to kill the insects that life depends on, to hear traffic and lawn mowers and weed whackers instead of birds and flowing water.

We KNOW that this is physically bad for our health, the stifling, polluted, and stressful environments of a civilization that doesn't know the ways of the plants, but I think it's a kind of moral injury too, right? To see a beautiful field turned into a housing development of ugly, big, expensive houses—no thought given to the butterflies and sparrows and quail of the field? To see a big old tree cut down, a pond full of frogs obliterated and turned into a drainage ditch beside a gas station? They aren't just things, they are lives, and while expansion and profit and progress are "necessary," a nice old field of wildflowers or a pond full of frogs are a different kind of necessary. I remember feeling this as a child without words for it—the sheer cruelty of a world that is totally without reverence for the other creatures.

"They own the property, they can cut down the tree" "They bought the land, they can do what they want with it" <but it can also be wrong, and many people know this on some level, even though our culture doesn't provide us with the framework.

Fear could never give people the motivation to fix climate change. Constant fear of what will happen in the future forces a person to protect themselves from the relentless stress by shutting it out entirely or developing apathy.

A fear based argument for fixing climate change either causes a worldview of nature with no bond of kinship at all, based on the physical and practical dependence on Nature as a "resource," or forces people to experience their kinship with Nature only through grief.

Fear tells us that we want to live—it does not tell us WHY to live. If a person tries to live on fear alone, they will eventually find the desire to live burdensome and painful in itself. I see this emerging on a society wide scale in the USA, feeding on influences from the Christian evangelicalism that sees the Earth as something already sullied and worthless, to be thrown away like a dirty tissue, and on the looming monolith of nuclear winter that gave our parents recurring nightmares as children.

If you go to r/collapse on Reddit (don't do that) you will see a whole community of people who cope with the threat of climate change by fantasizing about it, imagining it as a collective punishment for all humanity and a cathartic release from the present painful situation.

We cannot learn to live without seeing the reason for living. We cannot save the Earth without loving it. We cannot heal nature without caring for it. In order to collectively take action against climate change, we must be moved by something other than fear—and that something is love. Not just love of the outdoors as an activity, but love of the Earth as something that loves us.

The dominant Western culture cannot borrow Indigenous land stewardship techniques as though they are just one climate resilience strategy, without being also willing to change its dreadfully impoverished way of viewing human relationships with Nature.

What right have we to think, "Huh, maybe those guys were on to something with the multi-level polyculture systems and controlled burns" while still thinking humans are nothing but a disease on the Earth, and that Earth would be happy to be rid of us? The sustainable ways of using the land practiced traditionally by cultures who have lived in relationship with their ecosystems for many generations work because humans can exist in mutualistic symbiosis with the life forms around them. We care for them. They care for us.

I know for a fact that plants seek relationships with us, and I was taught by them to see how interconnected everything really is, and how I was made to be a caretaker of my ecosystem. I was, a few years ago, just as I describe above. Too scared and pessimistic about the future of nature to bother loving it, and because of this, I could not realize my niche in the ecosystem. It felt for many years like I could do nothing—i believed in climate change, but I felt hopeless, so I put it out of my mind. But when I began to cultivate a love and reverence for the sad, scraggly, beaten-down fragments of Nature around me, everything changed. So much became possible.

I am still learning and exploring, trying to open my mind to ideas totally different than the ones I knew growing up, paying close attention to every plant and learning its ways. And it stuns me to think—some people write about climate change without this process.

The author of the book "The Uninhabitable Earth" (a scary book about how doomed the Earth is because of climate change) says in the beginning of the book that he is not very much of a nature lover. You fool, love is our most powerful evolutionary adaptation!

[unhinged-simp]

Loving your hcs!! Piggybacking on the recent one, could I ask how Kaito, Haru, and/or Jin would court the reader?? I've been obsessed with the Kaito cuddling one you did previously and I cannot stop thinking about it

Kaito, Haru, and Jin Courting HCs

Jdkfj thank you so much for requesting! It makes me happy that you enjoyed them! I hope you enjoy this Sorry for the wait

Kaito had always thought of courting you, and when he actually got your approval to do so he was in heaven.

Kaito’s texts were quite frequent, often containing a really bad pickup line, or invitations to little dates.

He doesn’t really have much money to buy you things, but he'd still get you small treats like ice cream, flowers, or small pieces of jewelry. 

Kaito’s not much of a planner when it comes to dates, instead he prefers more spontaneous dates.

His favorite dates are amusement park dates and going out to get dessert dates. 

Kaito is ready for any boundaries set by you.

He's one of the ghouls who adores physical attention. He's clinging onto you in hugs and cuddles.

He also loves kisses, any kind of kiss, he wants it.

He'll be a little sad if you don’t like being touched, but he'll live.

You invited Kaito to tea parties at your dorm occasionally, usually as an excuse for you two to see each other.

Haru had been having thoughts about courting you. You had filled his mind during all hours of the day, even when he was working with the anomalies. 

He’d ask to court you, and when you gave him permission, he was so excited.

Haru texts you whenever he can, since he's so busy. He sends you lots of cute texts during all hours of the day.

He's more into complimenting you than actually flirting with you, although he will send a pick-up line or two occasionally. 

He'd get you lots of flowers, oftentimes picked out by Towa, and cute animal and anomaly keychains. He's definitely given you a keychain or Peekaboo.

Haru’s dates are often spontaneous since he has to take care of Jabberwock.

 Dates with Haru usually consist of café dates and scenic dates at places in Jabberwock. He's not that big a fan of amusement parks and some loud places.

He respects boundaries, any boundary you set he'd follow. 

Haru does love physical affection, but only on his left side. He doesn't tell you why, and you’ve never asked.

He does love kisses though. He kisses you every time he sees you. His favorite is your forehead.

You try to help him out with Jabberwock, taking care of him, Towa, Ren, and the anomalies. 

Peekaboo loves you. Haru has found both Peekaboo and you asleep together on the couch in Jabberwock before.

Jin originally wanted to court you to get his father off his back, but then he actually fell in love. 

When he asked you, you were so surprised, but you agreed nonetheless.

Jin is not much of a texter. He only sends them when he wants you to come to Frosthelm.

He gives you money to buy things, though if you mention a product in front of him he’ll get it for you. He does give you a keychain with his weapon on it as well. 

Jin doesn’t go outside that much for dates which leads to lots of indoor dates. 

Cuddle dates or tea parties are the stars you mostly get. If you convince him, you may get a date wherever you want.

Jin respects any boundaries you give, and he does expect the same for you. 

Jin lives on your cuddles and he calls you nearly everyday for them. He also loves kisses too, he's favorite being on your lips.

You take care of Jin which Tohma is grateful for. Tohma has definitely used you as a way to get Jin to do things.

You have been caught cuddling Jin by everybody who can get into his room.

[lexlovergirl]

Farleigh Start…p3

Tw:smut

Farleigh Start! Who had a really lonely childhood. He’s used to being alone so it takes a while for you to get close to him.

Farleigh Start! Who once he trust you enough, he doesn’t leave you. He wants/ needs to close to you 24/7, you’re his lifeline.

Farleigh Start! Who the more his high the more he’s a sub.

Farleigh Start! With whom you share lollipops. Switching with each other once in a while to taste the other flavour.

Farleigh Start! Who will rarely say “I love you” but you know he does by his love language (previous part)

Farleigh Start! Who will leave kisses on your neck and shoulders when you’re doing your hair/makeup.

Farleigh Start! Who doesn’t buy you gift often but when he does it’s expensive. And I mean like Louis Vuitton , Valentino, Dior, Prada, Vivienne Westwood. Anything you want he’ll get it for you baby girl.

Farleigh Start! Who hates taking shower with someone else. As much as he loves you, that’s his moment of peace. He likes to take that time for himself.

Farleigh Start! Who has the longest hair routine ever. While you’re in your bed waiting for him to come join you, he’s putting idk how many products in his hair. One of the many reasons he’s doing it is you; he knows how much you like to pass your fingers through his hair so he want it to go smoothly, without any nots.

Farleigh Start! Who after you have a hard day will gladly give you a shoulder/back massage.

Farleigh Start! Who loves to give you hickey. He will try to make a heart of those bruises on your chest but will fail miserably.

Farleigh Start! Who after a fight will fuck you so good. Going slow and deep, praising you, pulling your body as close as possible to his, but almost never actually saying sorry.

Farleigh Start! Who is a total fashion icon. He changed your way of seeing fashion and your way of dressing.

Farleigh Start! Who hates showering with someone but surprisingly loves to take bath with you. For him a bath his extremely different then a shower. A bath is to relax, fuck, enjoy the warm water, so you’re gladly welcome. The shower ,I’ve said, is for him and him only.

Farleigh Start! Who loves when you’re loud during sex. He’s loud himself so he’s less embarrassed if you’re too.

Farleigh Start! Who when you tease him will punish you later for it. It’s not that he teases you that you can, yes he’s a sub but sometimes you get a little too comfortable for him.

Farleigh Start! Who is trying to convince you to fuck your tits. If you don’t want to, he’ll jerk off to the idea.

Farleigh Start! Who won’t put a label on his sexuality but wants dick once in a while ( if uf homophobic you’ve chose the wrong man, Farleigh is not 4 u)

My previous work:

Farleigh headcanon 1

Farleigh head canon 2

[jadeddangel]

Creepypast & Marble Hornets headcannons:

Jeff the Killer:

100% sneaks into your house/ room just to wake you up randomly to spook you

If he ever took you on a date it would 100% be to the cheapest cinema in town cause my man's is broke

Your the breadwinner, you can make $2 a month and still be the breadwinner

He buys axe body spray and sags his jeans like a middle school boy and you can't convince me otherwise

Opened a nesquick Powdered milk tub with a table saw cause he couldn't get him open

Doesn't know how to undo child proof locks on meds no matter how many times you explain it to him

"No Jeff your not listening. Press down and then turn it," your voice scolded

"I'm trying! Damn you woman!!" Jeff yelled back

Yea, he never opened the jar right

Masky:

It started with you and Tim dating and then when you met masky you trying getting to know him

He ignores you at first, more focused on doing his job then dealing with his other half's lover

He's smart, he'll pick locks open jars and complete puzzles in no time flat

He doesn't make money but Tim does so indirectly he's the breadwinner

He'll start hanging out with you after getting tired of sleeping on the downstairs couch

He's not nice, like at all, he's very blunt and when it comes to any type of criticism, constructive or not, he's pointing out every miniscule flaw

Don't bother lying to him, he can see right through it and it pisses him off

It doesn't matter your gender or your sex. He's turning around when you change any form of your clothes. He's big on privacy

"Masky? C'mon masky, it's just a sweater you don't have to turn. I'm wearing a shirt underneath, " you sighed, pulling your sweater off

Masky shook his head. "I don't care sometimes you don't wear a shirt under them, and i don't wanna see your nipples," masky spoke bluntly

Yeaaaa, if you can't tell your sex life is totally (not) amazing with man

Tim:

As I said before Tim has a job, he Linda needs it to pay for his smoking habits

Speaking of smoking, he hates when you do any kind of drugs, he doesn't want you to end up like he did

He's surprising clingy behind closed doors and really likes being your little spoon

He constantly takes showers and cleans your shared home, even if no one except for you, him and masky will see it.

He has this bad habit of just buying whatever he craves, so when he goes to the store, expect the bill to be rather high

As I said before he's clingy behind closed doors but when it comes to pda the most he'll do is lock your pinkies together

"Tim, pleaseeeee I just wanna hold your hand! Just five minutes, and if you don't like it, you don't have to keep holding my hand. " You tried to bargain

Tim sighed "fine fine but you're giving me your box of cigarettes. Don't think I didn't smell them on you"

He has a sharp nose, so there's no point in trying to hide things from him

Hoodie:

Hoodie was beyond confused when he first met you, he had a whole "who what when where why?" Moment

You and brain both pay for everything so there's not really a breadwinner

Hoodie is rather quiet, it's not because he's awkward or shy, he just has nothing to say

Hoodie Hates coffee, he's more of a tea or energy drink guy

I hate to say this(no I dont), but he's a stoner, he hates all vape or smoking products except for weed

He usually sticks to weed vapes since it's less work and he can be a bit lazy when it comes to that

I mean his hygiene is ok he doesn't really shave or trim any thing but his beard but yknow he do him

Speaking of , he leaves his beard shavings all over the sink and leaves the toilet seat up

"HOODIE! GET YOUR BUTT IN HERE NOW" You shouted to get the man's attention

Hoodie walked in. "What?" He said monotonely

You pointed at the sink and then the toilet "pick up your fucking mess!!"

Hoodie shook his head "Nah I'm good. Thanks for the offer, though. "

You would probably try and beat him up if he couldn't just wollop our ass

Brian:

He's such a sweet boy,it like he's made out of cotton candy

He's mostly did cleaning and cooking on top of his job but after switching back from hoodie, he's out of commission for like a week

He picks up after himself, and does his own laundry and there's never beard trimmings in the sink

He occasionally forgets to put the toilet seat down but it's rather rare

He's not too clingy but he does cuddle up sometimes

HES A FUCKING FURNACE WHEN HE SLEEPS

"Brian pleaseee get off!! It's the middle of summer! It's too hot to be cuddling" you huffed sleepily

"Shhh just let me hold you.." Brian muttered

Ticci Toby:

Your the breadwinner. Period

You think this man has a job? Hah funny

He hates when he tics especially when you are trying to have intimate moments together

You guys have to be silly during sex especially when he has a verbal tic and just yells bird

"Fuck toby right there~" you moaned out holding onto his shoulders tightly

"I'm so c-*whistles* shit sorry~" toby moaned out a bit embarrassed

"Toby it's ok it's normal~.." you muttered a bit trying to keep your voice even

Toby nodded "fuck I lov-Birds!" Toby shouted

You both looked at eachother before bursting out laughing just holding eachother close

Overall aside from Toby's horrible moodswings at times and his "work" you guys have a pretty helpful relationship

Slenderman:

No, Just no

This man is toxic asf when you guys first meet, definitely a manipulator

He tones it down after a bit but still gaslights you into getting what he wants

When he gets angry, please down run from him- he will track you down and may or may not resort to physical violence to get you to learn your lesson

If you ask about the missing children he WILL gaslight you into thinking that's he's told you before and it hurts that you forgot and won't tell you again

Sex? What sex? You think he would let you even get close enought to see that shit happen hah very funny

"Slenderman? Cmon I'm sorry you know I didn't mean to hurt you.." you muttered softly

"No. I already told you, and you forgot.. it is insensitive of you and unwise of me to tell you again, " he responded through your mind. And though he doesn't have eyes, you could only assume he was glaring

He's not healthy for you, but you've got yourself into this for life and there's only 1 way to get out

Eyeless jack:

Just like Jeff he'll sneak into your room

You literally can't get rid of him

He won't talk or anything, just stand and stares

He doesn't cuddle and he barely touches you

He definitely tried to offer you a kidney as a way of telling you he appreciates you

No hygiene whatsoever, he doesn't shave and it takes a month before you even get him to shower

He mostly just grumbles and groans to let you know he understands what your saying

He's really smart, puzzles, locks ,and riddles are no match for him

He's blunt, when he does talk it's rare, bit it's honest and unfiltered

You guys barely have sex and honestly you've probably never seen his face

"Jack, please!! I just wanna see your face, " you whined, laying yourself over his lap

"I said no, and if you keep asking, I'll eat you. Literally, " Jack retorted

Yeaaaa he meant it literally and you could tell

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Stellantis wants to make scabbing woke

I'm coming to Minneapolis! Oct 15: Presenting The Internet Con at Moon Palace Books. Oct 16: Keynoting the 26th ACM Conference On Computer-Supported Cooperative Work and Social Computing.

I know, I know, it's weird when the worst people you know are right, even when they're right for the wrong reasons: like, the "Intelligence Community" is genuinely terrible, pharma companies are murderous crooks, and Big Tech really does have a dangerous grip on public debate. The swivel-eyed loons have a point, is what I'm saying:

https://locusmag.com/2023/05/commentary-cory-doctorow-the-swivel-eyed-loons-have-a-point/

When conspiratorialists and reactionaries holler about how the FBI are dirty-tricking creeps who are framing Trump, it's tempting to say, "well, if Trumpists hate the FBI, then I will love the FBI. Who cares about COINTELPRO and what they did to Martin Luther King?"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FBI%E2%80%93King_suicide_letter

It's a process called "schizmogenesis": forming new group identity beliefs based on saying the opposite of what your enemies say, and as tempting as that is, it's extraordinarily foolish and dangerous:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/18/schizmogenesis/

It means that canny reactionaries like Steve Bannon can trick you into taking any position merely by taking the opposite one. Bannon's followers are even more easily led, so it's easy for him to convince them that we have always been at war with Oceania. The right has created an entire mirror world of "I know you are but what am I?" politics.

Anti-vax co-opts "bodily autonomy." Climate denial becomes environmentalism ("wind turbines kill birds"). Transphobia becomes feminism ("keep women-only spaces for real women"). Support for strongmen becomes anti-imperialism ("don't feed the war machine in Ukraine"). These are the doppelgangers Naomi Klein warns us against:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/05/not-that-naomi/#if-the-naomi-be-klein-youre-doing-just-fine

The far right has even managed to co-opt anti-corporate rhetoric. Culture warriors rail against "woke capitalism," insisting that when big businesses take socially progressive positions, it's just empty "virtue signalling." And you know what? They've got a point. Partially.

As with all mirror-world politics, the anti-woke-capitalism shuck is designed to convince low-information right-wing pismires into buying "anti-woke pillows" and demanding the right to pay junk fees to "own the libs":

https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/04/owning-the-libs/#swiper-no-swiping

But woke capitalism is bullshit. Corporations – profit-maximizing immortal transhuman colony organisms that view workers and customers as inconvenient gut-flora – do not care about social justice. They don't care about anything, except for minimizing compensation for workers while maximizing the risk those workers bear; and locking in and gouging customers for products that are as low-quality as can be profitably sold.

Take DEI, a favored target of the right. It's undoubtably true that diversity, inclusion and equity initiatives have made some inroads on correcting bias in hiring decisions, with the result that companies get better employees who would have been excluded without this explicit corrective.

However, corporations don't value DEI because they abhor their history of hiring bias. Instead, DEI is how corporate management demonstrates to workers that their grievances are best addressed by trusting corporate leadership to correct their error of their ways – and not by forming a union.

Before the passage of the National Labor Relations Act in 1935, corporations would create fake "Company Unions" whose leadership were beholden to the company executives. These were decoy unions: they looked and sounded like unions, but when they negotiated with management, they were actually working for the bosses, not the workers.

This is more mirror-world tactics. They're the labor equivalent of the "crisis pregnancy centers" that masquerade as abortion clinics in order to fool pregnant people and trap them with endless delays until it's too late to terminate their pregnancies. Company unions get workers to trust in negotiators who are secretly working for the bosses, who emerge from the bargaining table with one-sided, abusive contracts and insist that this is the best deal workers can hope for.

Company unions were outlawed 90 years ago, and for decades, labor had a seat at the table, with wages tracking productivity gains and workers getting protection for discrimination, unsafe labor conditions, and wage-theft. Then came the neoliberal turn, and 40 years of wage stagnation, increased inequality, and corporate rule.

Anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop. Finally, finally, we have reached a turning point in labor, with public approval for unions at levels not seen since the Carter administration and thousands of strikes and protests breaking out across the country:

https://striketracker.ilr.cornell.edu/

It's not just the Writers Guild and SAG-AFTRA, either. For the first time in history, the UAW is striking against all the major automakers, and they are winning:

https://arstechnica.com/cars/2023/10/striking-uaw-workers-win-key-battery-plant-concession-from-general-motors/

The automakers are getting desperate. Stellantis – Chrysler's latest alias, reflecting the company's absorbtion into corporate-human-centipede of global carmakers – has mobilized its DEI programs, trying to get marginalized people to believe that scabbing is a liberatory activity:

https://theintercept.com/2023/10/10/uaw-auto-strike-stellantis/

Stellantis calls each of its DEI silos a "Business Resource Group" (BRG): there's a "Working Parents Network," an "African Ancestry Network," "Asians Connected Together," a "DiverseAbilities Network," a "Gay & Lesbian Alliance" and more:

https://blog.stellantisnorthamerica.com/2021/07/20/business-resource-groups-drive-inclusion-and-diversity/

The corporate managers who lead these BRGs have established a scab rotation for each subgroup, calling on members to cross a UAW picket-line at a Michigan Parts Distribution Center run by Stellantis subsidiary Mopar:

Each BRG will pick a specific day of the week/weekend to volunteer as a team. Help continue to be the RESOURCE the BUSINESS can count on! Stellantis needs your help in running the Parts Distribution Centers (PDC) to ensure a steady supply of parts to our customers while negotiations continue. Working Parents Network has identified Friday, October 13 as WPN’s BRG Day at the PDCs!"

Now, these BRGs weren't invented by marginalized workers facing discrimination in the workplace. They come from literal union-busting playbooks produced by giant "union avoidance" firms that charge bosses millions for advice on skirting – or breaking – the law to keep workplace democracy at bay. All the biggest anti-union consultancies love BRGs, from Littler Mendelson to Jackson Lewis. IRI Strategies touts BRGs as a way to "union-proof" a business by absorbing workers' grievances in a decoy committee that will let them feel listened to.

BRGs, in other words, are the Crisis Pregnancy Centers of workplace discrimination. They're a Big Store Con, a company union dressed up as corporate social responsibility.

Now, let's not pretend that unions have a sterling record on race and gender issues. Giant labor organizations like the AFL had to be dragged into racial integration, and trade unions have sometimes been on the wrong side of anti-immigration panics:

https://www.archives.gov/publications/prologue/1997/summer/american-labor-movement.html

But unions have also been the most reliable way for people of color and women to win better workplace treatment. The struggle for racial and gender justice was fought through labor organizing. Remember that MLK's "I've Been To the Mountaintop" speech was given in support of striking sanitation workers in Memphis:

https://www.afscme.org/about/history/mlk/mountaintop

Black organizers have always been militant labor organizers. Labor Day commemorates the victory of the long, hard-fought Pullman strike, where Black workers brought one of the most powerful companies in America to its knees:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pullman_Strike

And women have always fought for gender justice through the labor movement: the New York shirtwaist strike is the Ur-example, when women-led unions fought thugs and scabs on icy New York streets:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_York_shirtwaist_strike_of_1909

It's no surprise that labor activism, anti-racism and feminism go together. Since the earliest days, the labor justice struggle was also a social justice struggle. To learn more check out Kim Kelly's Fight Like Hell: The Untold History of American Labor:

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Fight-Like-Hell/Kim-Kelly/9781982171063

The most exploited, underpaid, and abused workers in America are also the most marginalized (duh).

From nurses:

https://www.reuters.com/business/healthcare-pharmaceuticals/kaiser-healthcare-union-says-week-long-strike-possible-early-next-month-2023-10-09/

To teachers:

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-04-18/l-a-teachers-win-21-wage-increase-in-new-lausd-contract

To Amazon warehouse workers:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amazon_Labor_Union

To publishing assistants:

https://apnews.com/article/harpercollins-union-strike-ends-0a94238718879066d9b21af6266be526

To baristas:

https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/29/business/starbucks-union-wages/index.html

To fast-food workers:

https://www.ufcw.org/about/

The vanguard of today's labor surge is Black, brown, female and queer. Without a union, workers who face discrimination are on their own, hoping that their bosses will voluntarily do something about it. Black workers in Tesla's rabidly anti-union shops face vicious racism, from slurs to threats to violence. Without a union, they have to rely on the shifting whims of an Apartheid emerald mine space-Karen for relief, or hope for help from the NLRB or a class-action lawyer:

https://apnews.com/article/tesla-racism-black-lawsuit-class-action-21c88bddf60eca702560be58429495de

The far right isn't wrong when they holler that woke capitalism is bullshit. As with so many of their mirror-world causes, they've got a point, but only a limited one. The problem with woke capitalism is that it's no substitute for a union. The problem with relying on Business Resource Groups to fight racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia is that these struggles are all class struggles, and a BRG is never going to fight against the company that created it.

To understand how bankrupt woke capitalism is, conside this: Stellantis is calling on its "Working Parents Network" to scab this Friday. Stellantis is also being sanctioned by the Department Of Labor for discriminating against nursing mothers – the same "working parents" that the BRG is meant to protect:

https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/local/2023/02/08/investigation-finds-stellantis-violated-rights-of-nursing-mothers-at-sterling-heights-plant/

Woke capitalism is just another kind of "predatory inclusion," like Intuit's campaign defending its "Free File" tax-prep scam, where they're claiming that ending this ripoff is racist because it denies Black families the right to be tricked into paying for something they are entitled to get for free:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/27/predatory-inclusion/#equal-opportunity-scammers

When I learned about Intuit's wokewashing, I thought I'd found woke capitalism's rock bottom, but I was wrong. Stellantis's call for woke scabbing is a new low.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/11/equal-opportunity-class-war/#inclusive-scabbing

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[mikaleialt]

I just had a cute idea,what about Bada having a girlfriend with wavy/ curly long hair and taking care of her hair,reader saying she'll cut her hair short and Bada is like "don't you dare to kill our hair" while brushing it to style after

Hair | Bada Lee

Bada Lee x Reader

Cw: none. Fluff. Drabble

A/n: anon this is so cute and as someone with curly hair (used to be long but I recently got a haircut), I really love this idea

Eversince you and Bada started dating, it has been a tradition for Bada to be the one to take care of your hair.

You want to wash your hair? She'll do it for you. You ran out of that hair product you use to maintain your curls? She already has those is stock.

Bada is so inlove with your hair to the point that she does her own research on how to take care of it, what products are best for your hair type, all just to keep your hair long and healthy.

So you just couldn't imagine Bada's reaction when you blurted out all of the sudden the idea of cutting your hair short.

Bada who is helping you diffuse your hair suddenly stops, the hair dryer in her hand was immediately turned off.

"What did you say?" The shock on Bada's face is indescribable, she looks so offended as if you called her a slur.

"I just said that I think my hair is getting too long and I want to cut it" You touched the strands of your hair. You're not lying, it is getting too long. When wet, your hair can stretch down to your waist, but that's just how Bada loves it.

Bada, who has short hair started wearing hair extensions just to match the length of your hair, since she thinks its cute.

"Why?" Bada's face is filled with disappointment with a pout laying on her lips. She looks like a kid who didn't get the present they asked Santa for Christmas.

"Its just getting long, it consumes a lot of hair products already and it is getting expensive maintaining them—"

"Don't worry about it, I have the money to buy you all the products you need for your hair." Bada cuts you off, immediately disregarding your reason.

"Well, its also getting a bit hot—"

"We can always put it up in a different hairstyle, or I could just carry a fan with me all the time so you won't get hot" Bada retorted once again.

At this point you finally give up trying to convince Bada with your idea.

"You're not gonna let me cut my hair, won't you?" You look at her deadpanned as she turns on the hair dryer once again to finish her work.

"Yes, don't you dare kill our hair." Your girlfriend says in a strict manner as she blow dry your hair once again.

"You know you sound like Mother Gothel when you act like this." Bada just chuckles at your statement.

"Bada knows best" She just replied in a sing-song tone.

Finally another fic/drabble done. I hope you liked this anon. I'll finish more requests first before moving on to some of my drafts. Please feel free to send in your request, just follow my rules!

[transgenderteensurvivalguide]

Hey I just got my first period and I'm so fucking dysphoric about it what do I do I'm so confused I feel like shit and my dysphoria is through the roof

Lee says:

I would start off by exploring your menstrual product options which can make it easier to cope with having your period.

Period underwear is probably the easiest product to use because you already know how to wear underwear so you don't have to worry about putting it on wrong. Period underwear has built-in absorbent layers and is reusable and discreet to wear, but some people might feel self-conscious about washing them at the end of the day if they aren't used to washing their own underwear and don't have a private bathroom, or they might have dysphoria about washing them. You will likely need more than one pair (at least 2 pairs) even if you wash them daily because they need to dry, so there's a bit of an up-front cost but then since they're reusable it can be cheaper than pads and tampons in the long run.

The step below period underwear in terms of usability is probably pads. They tend to be pretty easy to use and also don't require insertion into the body, but if you don't place them right sometimes blood can leak around the edges where the pad isn't. Another placement issue might come up if you wear some styles of men's underwear, like boxers, it can be hard to use pads unless you wear a different type of underwear underneath which can feel bulky. Similarly to period underwear, blood on pads might feel more noticeable than internal options, which might increase dysphoria for some. You will need to buy pads over and over, so even they aren't that expensive to buy, the cost of buying them can add up. If your family buys the pads for you or you can get them at school for free then that isn't a big of a deal, but it does matter for some people.

Some trans people swear by menstrual cups because they're reusable and cost-effective. Once inserted correctly, they can be worn for up to 12 hours depending on flow, and the feeling of the blood can be less noticeable than pads or period underwear since it's not coming out. It can also be useful if you like swimming or have swimming classes, and/or if you're in a situation where you're stealth and have access to a private bathroom to wash the menstrual cup but don't feel like you can hide a whole package of pads in your stuff. But it can be hard to find the right size/model sometimes, so it can require multiple different brands and sizes to get the one that works best for you. Some people find the feeling of wearing one uncomfortable, have a hard time with the insertion, worry it'll affect their IUD, etc.

Tampons and menstrual discs have similar pros and cons as menstrual cups, although tampons are not reusable and some menstrual discs are. In all three cases, the process of insertion can be dysphoria-inducing for some trans individuals, but you also have the benefits of not having to feel the blood. You will also have more security to avoid leaks since you could choose to wear a tampon/menstrual cup/menstrual disc and then also wear a pad or menstrual underwear as backup.

After you've figured out what products work for you, I'd switch gears to the long game which is trying to stop your period in a healthy way. If you're out as trans, talk to your guardians and doctors about trying puberty blockers or using birth control to stop your period.

If you're not out as trans, you can still try convincing your parents to take you to the doctor to discuss the use of birth control in stopping your period without mentioning gender dysphoria:

You could say you have a heavy flow and starting birth control will make it lighter

It can help with anemia because you aren’t losing any iron through your period blood if you don’t get your period

You could say your friend/s have done it and it helped them

To stop period related cramping and pain

You could say you have gross period side-effects (like diarrhea and more farting) for the week of your period

It can make your periods more regular (or make it so you can control when it happens so you’re not caught off guard)

Helps with PMSing so you don’t have to deal with any of that

It’s more convenient and you don’t have to remember to change your pad/tampon

If you’re disabled, it can help save spoons and effort and make your week easier

You may not be able to change your pads regularly if you’re disabled and that’s kinda unsanitary and the pads can break so stopping your period can help with that type of stress

Save money on pads/tampons

Save time having to use pads/tampons and keep visiting the bathroom during class

It can help with migraines if you get headaches or migraines near your period

It can help with PCOS, PMDD, and endometriosis if you have any of those conditions

It might lower your risk of ovarian and endometrial cancer (but increase your risk of breast cancer) so that's something to discuss with a doctor based on your family history and personal risk factor

If you swim, it’s better to not have your period (And it’s inconvenient for athletes in general)

It can help regulate your mood (especially if you’re mentally ill and find mood fluctuations around your period hard to handle)

Why have a period when you can not have one? Some people feel there are no positive things about having a period because they feel it is inconvenient/[insert personal adjectives]

It’s pretty safe and many people do it, and if your doctor prescribes it and monitors you then there’s not a big risk in it

How do I talk about birth control with my dad?

Here’s a NY Times article called “For the Teen Who No Longer Wants a Period”, I’d start the conversation by sending them that link then if they ask more, give them the excuses above!

Finally, there are coping strategies that you can explore to manage the feelings of dysphoria that you may experience when you have your period-- this post has more info on that.

Followers, any advice for anon?

[contentloadingandstuff]

Lisa, Kujou Sara and Ningguang caring for a sick S/O

A/N: Just some short and silly headcanons since I'm a little ill. The characters were picked by The Wheel. Don't ask why ALF is on the cover.

Lisa

"Don't worry, sweetie. Mommy Lisa will take very good care of you~" 

Enough said, Lisa is an expert at potion crafting. As soon as she notices you're sick, you'll have one of her most effective tinctures delivered to you in no time. It's bitter, but it will help - you'll be frolicking again in just a few days. If it helps, she'll be more than happy to spoon feed it to you! 

Nothing helps the body quite like a rich broth. Add some chicken, boil with carrots and top it off with some fresh marjoram straight from the windowsill, and viola - just like that you have yourself a tasty revitalizing soup. Lisa doesn't like eating meat, but she knows how important proteins are for recovery. 

Tending to you is a great opportunity to pamper the absolute life out of you. Tissues and medicine? Right on the spot. Feeling peckish? Here, let her feed you. Thirsty? The best tea will be brought directly to you. Sleepy? Lisa will tuck you in, or let you rest your head on her thighs if you want to. You will have everything you need and even more without having to move an inch. 

Lying in bed is important - it lets your body sleep and regain strength. Still, boredom strikes sometimes. Lisa will provide you with a few books from her personal collection. If you're too tired to read yourself, she will do it out loud. Her narration skills are really something special, and will keep you entertained for hours on end, or until you doze off in her caring arms. 

Kujou Sara

“The medic will be here shortly. Do you need tea or a cold compress?”

Although Sara isn’t well-known for her caring nature, she really does worry about you. Inazuma’s climate tends to be quite harsh, with all the frigid sea winds blowing through the islands day by day. Even a minor ailment can quickly turn into a long-term illness in these conditions, so she will convince you to stay home when the first symptoms appear.

If you work in the military, your leave will be signed by her without further issues. If you’re working in the civilian market, however, she won’t restrain from using her position to ensure your leave is approved by your boss. Because who in their right mind would argue with the Tengu General herself?

It has been some time since the conclusion of the Inazuman civil war, so most work regarding that period is far behind her. Sara’s general duties revolve mainly around paperwork - reading through inventory reports, approving funding requests and purchases as well as some officer training meetings every now and then. Thanks to that fact, she can work from home and keep an eye on you.

Sara isn’t the best of cooks, so most meals will be handled by your maids. This doesn’t mean she won’t contribute to your recovery. She will check up on you frequently, whether to see if you’re taking your medicine correctly, or just to keep you company.

Of course she will call a physician to examine you, and buy all the necessary medicine - she has an immense pile of money saved up due to her fairly modest lifestyle. 

One thing though - she’s sleeping on the couch. Sara can’t afford to get ill herself, even if it means forcing you to recover in a cold bed. Don’t you worry, she will give you more than enough affection to make up for that shortage once you’re back in full health. 

Ningguang

“Don’t worry, my dear. You will get better soon. Meanwhile, why don’t you try another cup of tea? I am sure it will help.”

Ningguang is a busy woman who has no time for sickness. But you? She’ll make sure you get the proper rest, else your weakened body will fall to another illness. There will be no work for you until you are fully recovered - just like Sara, Ningguang will not hesitate to pull a few strings to make sure you can rest without worry.

Baizhu will deliver only his best products, as money is hardly a concern for Ningguang. Every Mora used to help you get better is a Mora well-spent in her eyes. 

Although not a doctor by any means, Ningguang will use some homemade remedies as well - especially white tea with two spoonfuls of honey. The warm sugary drink will surely bring back your strength in no time… or at least lift your spirits. 

She will check up on you from time to time, yes, but will not take a day off. Liyue needs her, and there’s always money to be made. 

Ningguang will make sure to keep her distance - even if it is just a cold, it could affect her as well and make her work that much more annoying. That means no cuddles until you’re healthy - but, with the best medicine money can buy, you’ll be in her arms in no time.

Thanks for reading!

[rinatic]

NCT 127: kinks

[Taeil]

Voyeurism - he'll never admit this lol but he gets off by watching his partner masturbate and it gives him the urge to touch himself too.

Sensory deprivation - blindfolds are his thing, he really loves doing his unholy work on your body while you can't see anything.

Choking - he loves the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your neck as he pounds into you, he loves how tears form in your eyes and how you struggle to breathe well, whether you choke because of his hands or cock.

Mutual masturbation - he likes having someone's else hand on his cock rather than his, and he wants to give you pleasure at the same time so this happens often.

[Johnny]

Domination - he can't be a sub, he will always want to be a dom because he doesn't like being vulnerable and it gives him sense of power and control.

Exhibitionism - this little shit probably likes seeing people get off by seeing him masturbate or just being naked lol, he enjoys showing off.

Size difference - seeing you being way smaller and vulnerable turns him on, he likes how he's way bigger than you, and his favourite positions are where the size difference between you two is very obvious.

Spanking - being a dom, he likes spanking and he often does it when he's punishing you, likes the sound it makes as well as how pink your skin is after.

[Taeyong]

Objectification - he strikes me as someone who wants to be used like a sex doll, will definitely tell you to perform your fantasies on him as you wish. Being dehumanized and humiliated turns him on.

Pain kink - you can't disagree with this, being subjected to physical pain definitely makes him hard, especially when you grab his hair or when you're harsh with him.

Bondage - i feel like he is a switch who likes to be a sub more, and i think he likes the feeling of being restrained. Tying him up and dominating him is surely one of his endless fantasies.

Pet play - this one is obvious, you can't tell me that taeyong won't enjoy this, i feel like he won't ask to do this except when he really trusts his partner, however, he definitely wants someone to unleash his inner kitten.

[Yuta]

Age play - you can't convince me that he doesn't like the whole daddy and little girl thing.

Role play - being the teacher and you being his little girl who is asking him to teach you dirty stuff makes him wild lol he definitely likes it.

Hickeys - it's what he often does, his possessiveness makes him enjoy marking your body, expect to wake up and seeing your neck decorated with love bites almost everytime you have sex with him.

Gagging - he wants to see you gag on his dick as he fucks your mouth, he often thrusts far into your throat just to hear your gagging noises, it makes him feel powerful.

[Doyoung]

Breath play - fucking you and controlling your breath at the same time gets him going. Sometimes he'll be a little too much with it because he's a little shit.

Sensation play - buying sensation play products to use on you from time to time is his thing. Candles are his favourite though.

Corruption - kim doyoung wants to ruin you. He wants to ruin his sweet shy baby with his filthy mind, he definitely likes taking virginities as well as introducing you to hardcore kinks for you two to try.

Orgasm denial - he loves to stimulate you until you're close to orgasm, refraining you from releasing makes him feel powerful, he probably enjoys controlling and teasing you.

[Jaehyun]

Sex in public - for some reason, i can see jaehyun being a shameless man, especially when he's blinded by his arousal, he doesn't mind taking risks in semi safe places like changing rooms and public bathrooms.

Threesomes - i can see jaehyun being so excited to do this lol, especially if it's more of a competition between two men, he'll be so competitive and want praises

Sexting - this mostly happens when he's on tour, jaehyun is a busy man and a horny one so he uses this (and you lol) to relieve himself when he can't see you in person.

Cum play - he does this when he doesn't have a condom nor wants to get you pregnant.

[Jungwoo]

Oral - this mf would be shivering and moaning when you give him a blow job, i just know he does this, and i know he's so good at giving too.

Lingerie - i feel like he's turned on by sexy clothes, he definitely likes it when his partner dresses up for him.

Hair pulling - this is both giving and receiving. He enjoys grabbing your locks while you suck him off and you doing the same while he pounds into you.

Rough sex - he prefers it more than slow sex and it's more better when he can see your ruined face.

[Mark]

Bdsm - he will be shy to bring it up at first, but the more you have sex the more he's ready to tell you about it. The idea of making you serve and please him drives him crazy. He definitely wants to explore everything included in this kink except hardcore stuff.

Oral - this is more of a receiving one, but the feeling of your lips around his cock does things to him.

Cum play - for some reason, i can see mark being so dirty that he wants to paint you with his cum. It's something i feel that he would enjoy.

Auralism - your moans are definitely a turn on for him, all the soft whimpers, groans and hisses makes him extra aroused.

[Haechan]

Corruption - that's why he wants an innocent inexperienced s/o.

Consensual nonconsent - he just wants to have sex without having to motivate you nor having to do foreplay. Also, he likes when you reject him at first and then he changes your mind by ruining you lol.

Dirty talk - he likes it especially if you were innocent, it makes him feel good that he is the only person who can make you change like this. Also, it gets him more in the mood.

Praise kink - if sends him over the edge when he's being praised. Since he can be a little unsure of himself sometimes.

[skippyv20]

Jamming Magazine - An exclusive interview with Meghan Markle

Meghan Markle is CEO and founder of Ain’t It Crap ( AIC) . This is a new and exciting venture she has planned since she was 11. When she was 11 she helped change the way men and women thought of dishwashing. She alone did that! Washing dishes was not any longer just a “woman’s work”. She wrote to the soap company and put her foot down. At 11 years old. That change was revolutionary for all. It was at this time she realized she had power like no other. She could use her (whiney) voice and change anything she wanted. She was powerful.

I sat down with Meghan for a “exclusive” interview, and let me tell you….it is time I will never get back. We sat down at one of the many homes she rents. There were no children present. Harry was not present. I don’t know where they were, as she never answered when I asked, she just starting talking!

Interviewer: Meghan, so look at you! You are beaming! You must be quite proud of yourself?

Meghan: Well, yes I am. Although I must say, I am always proud of everything I have ever done. When I was 11 I wrote to a soap company. I changed….

Interviewer: Excuse me Meghan, we are here to talk about your new company and your only product Jam….

Meghan: Who is in charge here? I am! Anyways, I saw a tv commercial and the woman was washing dishes! Well, knock my socks off! No way! I found a pen and paper and wrote a letter! I said it was wrong to have women washing dishes! Women have one place only, and it’s not in the kitchen washing dishes! Anyways, I strongly suggested that I would NEVER buy their soap again, unless they put out a commercial right away with a man washing dishes! I changed the way people all around the world view dishwashing. I alone did that at 11. Next question?

Interviewer: So your new company is called Ain’t It Crap. How did you come up with the name?

Meghan: Well, when I was 11….I had a vision of me, myself and I owning a company. Not just a company, but a company that would surpass Betty Crocket! I wanted a company that both men and women could purchase from. I wanted a company that could pass off anything. A secret? My ultimate dream was a company SCAM….and what rhymes with SCAM? JAM does! I knew my first and only product would be JAM. I wanted to do things differently. I refuse to put any ingredients, etc on my label! It’s no one’s business how many calories are in it. No one’s business what ingredients are in my JAM. Although I will tell your readers only….the ingredients are a mix mash of fruits and veggies, lots and lots of food colouring, and a teaspoon of honey. Do I make it myself? Oh no! I can’t even boil water! I can only “act” like I cook for the cameras!

Interviewer: It is said that Harry cooks the JAM? True, or not true?

Meghan: Look, Harry has one job! His job is to keep trying to convince the world he is a Prince. I would say a Prince can sell JAM easier than Tony, Bob, Joe down the street! Shout out to you Tony, Bob and Joe!

Interviewer: So who does make the JAM? People are saying only 1 jar of JAM exists? They say, you buy other jam, and package it as your own?

Meghan: You know, haters will always hate! People are so jelly of me, people don’t see the amount of time and number of people it takes to make one jar of my JAM! Can we take a break? I feel one tear, left eye coming…there it is…. Did you get the picture? Focus in on the tear.

Interviewer: Is your JAM good, what does it taste like?

Meghan: Where did you learn to interview? It is the BEST JAM in the whole wide world. There is nothing like it! Listen, I pay for people to like it, you can see that in my two reviews! They love it! I think this is about my race. Are you a racist? You don’t like my JAM? Have you tried it? Here, try it!

Interviewer takes a taste.

Meghan: Why are you making faces? Is it because I am biracial? Why?

Interviewer: That is the worst JAM I have ever tasted. I would not buy it, I would not tell anyone to buy it.

Meghan: You are a racist! Harry is going to sue you when I tell him! You will pay for this, I will sick the sugars on you! I will ruin you! You have done nothing but pick on me…and my JAM!

The interview did not end well! She threw chairs, threw herself on the floor, kicking and screaming…threw the jar of JAM, and her wig went flying! It was quite the scene. She couldn’t calm down. She was even hissing like a demon. Don’t buy her JAM! You don’t know what is in it! Could be Devil’s JAM for all we know. Could be DNA changing weapon….we just don’t know!

NOTE: Parody only! For fun and entertainment. Not a reflection of actual product.

[mildlyanxiousverge]

The Slytherin trio(Barty, Evan, Reg) after running away from their rich families and living together at an apartment Reg got under his name not used to not having moneys so they made a plan and use their expertises to hustle in Hogwarts:

Reg being a god at potions and herbology, money maker, with a businessman's mind, with good manipulation tactics to make his products the 'it' factor😌 selling anti-sleeping potions (ravenclaws are his no.1 costumer with this), anti-nighmare(Slytherins, this is also why no one at the greenhouse messes with them), prank goos and other pranksy stuff(surprisedly this is a hit at the Huplepuffs), and anti-talking(the Gryffindors adored him for this one, I wonder why?👀) and other good stuff and convinces you to buy and agree to shit like he's Ursula and Dr. Facilier at the same time.

Barty selling his notes (he's got 12 owls, this bitch is smart), making his assignment duplicates and altering them with and altering spell he somehow knows, tutoring shit, making his mind open with answers at the exam and letting people enter, matchmaking king, he's Hogwarts cupid, he also does extra background checks for your crushes to see if they have red flags😌

Evan master at conviction and charm, he is rented for breakups because he can somehow make bad things sound like a dream, master at reasoning people need him when they want to win a fight, the messenger god, here to bring message from people are too cowardly to tell someone, sometimes people go to him to help the confess and barty is bitter because 'that's supposed to be his costumers Ev'.

They also have other deals, and can deal with your shit, so if you have a problem go to the trio for help, need to humiliate ur ex cuz he cheated? they've got you!!! Need your parents to never know the shit you do at school??? they'll cover!!!Need to kill someone but torture them brutally first???well...*looks to cannon* sorry not today

They also sell tea about people, they know shit, they know her ex's boyfriend's secret mistress, AND BLACKMAIL!!! Don't forget that they'll sell it at a high price!!! but if you need it, you know where to go!!! They can also get you out of trouble, no one knows how they'll do it but whatever they do works!!! They can prank someone you hate at a reasonable price (and they don't get caught unlike some people 🙄)

Regulus also got their business legalized(idk how he did it he's just that awesome) and have documents and does all thing legally (loopholes baby) with processes of contracts before agreeing with a client so something can't go wrong (and the teacher can't do about it) HAHSHSHAH

Pandora and Dorcas fully support them They're the managers and handles a lot of shit we don't talk about😌😏

Imagine Sirius' reaction when he finds out not only his brother run away but he also runs a sketchy yet legal(?) business with his friends and they're thriving JAjsjajajaHAJAHAHAH Remus at the background impressed about the whole thing and James drooling at Regulus' business suit atire AHAHSHAHAGHAAH Peter is a honorary member for being an investor with secrets, blackmails, and gossip that he adds

[leclerced]

lando with a girlfriend that has a very complicated hair care routine and it confused him at first but she taught him about it and now he takes better care of his hair. I’m absolutely a sucker for self care and smth about him and his girlfriend taking care of themselves together just drives me insane. in a very soft mood right now, but I can’t help it. someone needs to protect his curls 😔

-

🩰

pls i tried having a curly hair routine for like a year but ive reverted and gone back to straightening it once a week bc its less work /:

the first time lando stays over, she says she’s going to shower and he wants to join. she immediately tells him this is a real shower, no fun. he thinks he can convince her until he sees all the products and she starts telling him about his routine. it’s torture for him watching her wash her body, exfoliate, use an in shower moisturizer. after her body routine, she uses a deep cleansing shampoo, followed by her regular shampoo and after rinsing, starts massaging her scalp with a massager and follows that with a deep conditioning treatment. after rinsing her conditioner, she uses a scalp treatment and a repair mask on the ends. while it sits she might shave or massage her scalp more. then she finally rinses her hair and he thinks she’s finally done. he’d have washed his hair and entire body while she was doing her three step body routine and just watched the rest, swapping places with her when she needed out of the water stream.

he gets out of the shower and tries dragging her to bed before she can even touch her robe. she pushes him away and tells him to wait, throws him a towel and wraps herself in her robe and her hair in a microfiber towel. he thinks she’s teasing him when she rubs lotion on while he watches, but it’s just to lock in moisture from the shower. then she brushes her teeth and does her entire skin care routine, and he’s again thinking she’s done, until she lets her hair down and begins another routine, creams and gels and oils, scalp massaging and combing. its like a two hour process from start to finish and he wonders what it feels like to be so pampered. when she finally puts on pajamas and crawls into bed, he asks how often she does that and she’s like, “which part? that was like an everything shower, i won’t do all of that tomorrow, and i’ll do a different skincare routine in the morning because that’s my night skincare routine, and it’s a thursday, so tomorrow night i have to use different products because there’s certain ones you don’t use two days in a row, y’know?” lando nods and agrees even thought he has no clue what she’s talking about.

he wakes up while she’s doing her morning routine and is offended she started without him because he wanted to see what was different. she stops and shows him what she did and then continues once he’s caught up. then she offers to let him use the products or asks him about his skin and shows him all the products she has and what they’re for, pulling out the ones she bought and never used because they didn’t work for her. he goes to shower later and asks her about her hair products and she immediately offers to join and show him. he’s thinking shower sex again, but she showers with him and tells him about each of them again while washing his hair and massaging his scalp.

he’d pretend to be neutral about it when they get out and she asks if he wants her to keep going and do the rest of her routine with him, like, “yeah sure if you want to” but he’s honestly dying for her to keep running her fingers through his hair. he sits on the toilet while she does her routine on his hair and then she shows him what her skincare routine for the night is and they do it together. they keep doing it every morning and night and the first time he’s away at a race, he calls her from a beauty store asking her what products he needs to buy to do their routine and she’s like, “oh you’re like, actually doing it?” and he’d whine, “well yeah? i didn’t think i’d need to, so i didn’t bring anything and my skin feels awful. so now i’m supposed to do a deep cleanse on my hair tonight and i can’t remember which one we use.” she tells him to pick one he likes, but to make sure it’s for curly hair, and he tells her, “no, i want the same shampoo because it smells like you.” she just about melts inside and rushes to the bathroom to send him a photo to ensure he gets the right one, and then sends him photos of all the other products he needs for his routine. he facetimes her after his shower because he wants to do his routine with her, and she’d have been waiting for his call to start hers because she had a feeling he would want to.

[blowmyloadd]

| MLP HEADCANNONS

contains: sexualities, ships (don't come at me just my opinion), random stuff, rivalries (don't come at me just what i think)

notes: this is my first post and i literally don't know how to use any of the tools so help a girl out🙏🙏. also me and my cousins have been OBSESSED with mlp lately and i wrote these at 2am so there might be some typos. these may be inaccurate cuz im just going off of when i watched the show at 8 yrs old (i know i should watch the show, just keep forgetting LMAO). so ya enjoy these lmk if you want more!!!!:)

twilight:

- [👾] is bisexual, she prefers girls because they're less "slobby" but if she met a well groomed guy then she would consider it

- [👾] is def on booktok but doesn't recommend or read "spicy" books

- [👾]she smells like a fresh book

- [👾] has like a million hair products but only uses like 2

- [👾] def wears clean girl makeup

- [👾] she hates apple jacks and dashes way of life but she puts that hatred aside for her friends

- [👾] she likes to say she's an independent woman but if she has to do yard work (other than gardening) she would literally disintegrate

- [👾] she hates getting dirty and takes 2 showers a day

- [👾] she always smells applejack and rainbow dash (HEAVY ON DASH) and thinks they smell like bounce that ass (pls get the refrence) but never tells them anything

-[👾] her and rarity are the duo that talks shit about everyone else

- [👾] she has reading glasses

- [👾] is a swiftie and her favorite era is reputation (she thinks she's such a bad boy for liking it)

~~~~~~~~~~

rarity:

- [💎] straighter than a ruler

- [💎] if she ever meets a gay girl she always says "well don't get a crush on me!!😂😂"

- [💎] is literally so stuck up omg

- [💎] she also is very clean and takes 2 showers a day

- [💎] doesn't listen to music but if she does it's ether taylor swift or classical music

- [💎] she hates how dirty dash and apple jack are and talks about it to twilight

- [💎] she secretly hates rainbow dash cuz she gets more attention that her

- [💎] attention whore

- [💎] IS racist but literally doesn't know/passive aggressive about it. like she would order fried chicken for her black friend without warning

- [💎] has a million different smell good products and uses them ALL

- [💎] smells like roses

- [💎] def wears heavy eyeshadow and red lipstick

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

rainbowdash:

- [🌈] is a lesbian but denies it

- [🌈] gets ALL the hoes

- [🌈] listens to rap and dad rock

- [🌈] she gets flustered when girls hit on her but she acts like she's not interested

- [🌈] def the most woke person (other than pinkie pie)

- [🌈] her and apple jack are like 🤞

- [🌈] is not ashamed to speak up for herself when they get her order wrong at a restaurant

- [🌈] is SOOOO competitive

- [🌈] helps apple jack at the farm a lot

- [🌈] thinks fluttershy is a pussy and hates that she speaks so low (THIS SOUNDS SO MEAN WHAT WAS 2AM ME ON??😭😭)

- [🌈] doesn't get the concept of being afraid, having anxiety, or being jealous

- [🌈] if anyone starts talking bad about themselves in front of her she starts agreeing with them and reveals all of the things she hates about that person

- [🌈] is so brutally honest it hurts

- [🌈] sleeps with a stuffed animal and hides it if anyone comes over

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

applejack:

- [🌾] sometimes kisses her parents on the mouth and all the rest of the ponies are like 😨

- [🌾] LESBIAN 100%

- [🌾] emabraces the fact that she's a girl kisser and sees no wrong in it

- [🌾] is literally so aggressive all the younger ponies are TERRIFIED of her

- [🌾] her sister (or sisters idk how many siblings she has) keeps trying to convince the other kids that apple jack is actually a sweetie pie

- [🌾] apple jack tries to win over the children by buying and making them things but always ends up making them scared again

- [🌾] has a crush on rainbowdash but doesn't tell her because she doesn't know if she's 🏳️‍🌈 or not

- [🌾] if she knew dash was a girl kisser she would def tell dash she liked her

- [🌾] her and her brother are so close like it's crazy

- [🌾] when she was little she accidentally choked on an entire apple and was rushed to the hospital. she had a fear of apples for like 5 years after that

- [🌾] knows that twilight and rarity talk shit about the other ponies and hints to them that she knows

- [🌾] is literally a heart throb for all the girl kisser ponies in pony land

- [🌾] all apple jack has to do is address to another girl as "ma'am" and the girl is already pregnant (past me what was you on!!😟)

~~~~~~~~~~~

pinkie pie:

- [🎈] is so into raves

- [🎈] has tried coke, heroin, shrooms, and literally everything else

- [🎈] has been caught drinking by the other ponies and had no shame in it

- [🎈] has been in rehab

- [🎈] would 100% be one of the most aggressive ponies (apple jack and rainbow dash being the most aggressive)

- [🎈] plans EVERY SINGLE party, funeral, if it involves planning pinkie pie is ON IT!!

- [🎈]def pansexual, has no preference

- [🎈] doesn't do anything to her hair, thinks it's a waste of time.

- [🎈] for that reason her hair is always frizzy and or tangled, rarity is REPULSED by it

- [🎈] pinkie pie thinks her and rarity are best friends and rarity plays along and tries so hard not to laugh at her

- [🎈] if pinkie pie ever found out rarity and twilight were talking smack she would smack them into oblivion

- [🎈] if anyone was messing with ANYPONY in her vicinity she would roast the living hell out of them, like they would need medical help after.

- [🎈] listens to scene, hyper pop, 2000s, normally but when she's sad she listens to mitski. only mitski.

- [🎈] smells like candy, like sometimes it's intoxicating how sweet she smells

- [🎈] has a crazy side to her, not like in a millennial way but in a "i'll rock your ass and make you bite the curb if you talk shit about me"

- [🎈] goes to raves and concerts with rainbowdash on the daily

- [🎈] has once tried to hug twilight by jumping on top of her and twilight punched her. she had her teeth knocked out of her skull. not literally but twilight punched her pretty hard

~~~~~~~~~~~~

fluttershy: (why isn't there any yellow omg)

- [🦢] is literally such a sweetheart but it makes dash mad at how slow and low she talks

- [🦢] has tried to tame a tiger but it didn't like her for some reason and almost got killed (apple jack saved her)

- [🦢] she thinks every pony and every animal likes her but everyone's just nice to her because she doesn't know any better (WHAT THE HELL LMFAO)

- [🦢] 100% has autism

- [🦢] listens to laufey, mitski, lana, clairo, and girl in red while painting or some corny ass shit like that

- [🦢] sings to the birds every morning and dash holds back the urge to hit her

- [🦢] apple jack quite enjoys fluttershys early singing because it gets her up in the morning

- [🦢] goes to sleep with all her stuffed animals on her bed and wakes up with all of them and the blanket on the floor, she doesn't know how.

- [🦢] walks (or struts or whatever the horse version is) outside and all the birds and animals immediately latch onto her

- [🦢] rainbow dash DESPISES her but has literally no reason to (me too girl) (ifykyk)

- [🦢] her room is so coquette its crazy

- [🦢] smells like vanilla and coconut

- [🦢] is a lesbian and like FULLY fem

- [🦢] once she tried to help apple jack on the farm and ended up getting one of her wings caught under a pile of hay (somehow)

- [🦢] when someone falls in front of dash applejack, and fluttershy, rainbow dash and apple jack start laughing but fluttershy cusses them out and helps the person up. (dash and applejack are left speechless by this)

- [🦢] so has a crush on rainbowdash

- [🦢] loves everything pink

- [🦢] her wallpaper on her phone is her favorite animal (she hides it from the other animals worried they might think she picks favorites) (she absolutely does)

- [🦢] when someone litters she picks up the trash and hands it back to the person

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i reread these before editing them and omg what was i on😭 i had to delete like 5 of these cuz they were absolutely ABSURD

but omg lmk if you want more and give me your thoughts on these i would love to hear them

OK BYEBYEBYE🫀🫀

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part thirty-eight: "The Black Suit"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You finish up work at The Bulletin late, but Matt still asks you to come over while he's out as Daredevil and wait for him to return home.

Or

You forgot the red suit was being repaired, and that black suit really does something to you–which has Matt very much intrigued.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 5.4k

a/n: Another smupdate--this time featuring Reader very much appreciating the black suit. Because why the hell would there not be black suit Matt smut in FFTD? This is offically the halfway point (so far) of all the installments currently published on AO3! You can find the entire list of installments for this series on tumblr here. And if you're enjoying the series, let me know!

Staring at the laptop screen before you, the article you were working on for The Bulletin was finally written. You'd been working on it for the past couple of hours since you'd been at Matt’s and had been working on finishing editing it now. Though you'd been constantly distracted by how weird it felt being at Matt's by yourself tonight.

He had given you a key to his place not too long ago, wanting you to start making yourself feel comfortable and at home here so you could hopefully transition to living here with him in the spring when your lease was up. And honestly, you appreciated the fact that he wasn't rushing you with this and instead letting you both take some time to adjust before jumping into it. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't been already overthinking absolutely everything you possibly could about being in the same space with him all the time–hell, you'd be disposing all of your used period products at his place then. And if you got sick he'd hear and smell you throwing up in the bathroom. You cringed at the thought. Shaking your head, you tried to focus back on editing the article and not letting your mind spiral on everything Matt would inevitably become aware of with you living with him. 

Though that weird feeling of being here alone still sat with you. You'd gotten off work late at The Bulletin and Matt had told you he was already going out to do his Daredevil thing but he'd wanted you to come over anyway. To be here when he came home. Tonight was the first time you’d actually needed to use the key, letting yourself in while he was already out. 

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. Maybe you just needed a break. The article was ahead of deadline anyway. You could just relax and watch something on your laptop until Matt came back. You'd thankfully convinced him the other night not to buy a television just for you, since he would never watch it and you already had one. You'd insisted you would just watch shows on your laptop when you were here. 

Saving your progress on your article, and triple checking that it was saved, you exited out of the program. You were about to open Netflix on your laptop, but the door to Matt's roof access opened with a loud creak and you jumped on the couch, throwing a hand over your startled heart. 

"Sorry," Matt's deep voice apologized quickly. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"I just wasn't expecting–" you said, closing your laptop and turning towards him on the landing. Your breath caught in your throat, your sentence briefly hanging in the air. He wasn't dressed as Daredevil–you'd forgotten how he was still getting the suit fixed from when he'd had the helmet smashed in the other night–he was dressed in the all black suit you had personally never seen on him. Swallowing hard, your heart still racing as he began descending the steps, you finished your sentence with a breathy, "You."

His masked head tilted curiously to the side as he made his way down the stairs. "Didn't scare you that bad, did I? Your heart is still racing," he pointed out.

"I–uh, no," you said nervously, your eyes instantly dropping from his mouth to the perfectly defined abdominal muscles the black fabric was somehow making look even more defined with the way it clung to him like a second skin. "I just–just uh, forgot that you–you weren't wearing the other suit tonight," you stammered as he reached the bottom of the steps, feeling your cheeks heat up as your eyes dropped to how thick his thighs looked in those tight, dark pants. 

He paused a few feet from the bottom of the stairs, his attention fixed on you sitting on the couch. His figure looked intimidating, dangerous, and incredibly muscular in the black suit as he towered above you across the room. Your bottom lip slipped between your teeth as your gaze continued to linger on his body, actively roving every inch of him so intensely you were sure he had to be able to feel it. You forced yourself to try and calm your breathing and your heart as you did, both beginning to get wildly out of your control. For some reason you desperately had the urge to tear that black shirt off of him with your nails and bite every bit of flesh you could get your teeth on.

Which certainly was not like you.

"You know," he said slowly, drawing you back to the present and causing your attention to focus on his lips beneath the mask as he spoke, "before I came in here you were pretty calm. Tired, even. And now I come back," he continued, his masked gaze gradually surveying you from top to bottom, the gesture raising goosebumps along your arms, "and your heart is beating pretty fast. Your breathing has significantly picked up." 

His mouth curled into a smirk under the mask and your thighs pressed together on the couch at the sight, fighting the urge to squirm under his covered gaze. You watched his tongue very slowly appear between those plump lips, his smirk growing even more when it had disappeared back into his mouth. Embarrassment mixed with your increasing arousal. He knew. He fucking knew how your body was reacting to him right now and he was enjoying it.

"You like this, don't you?" he mused, a gloved hand gesturing to his suit. 

Your mouth opened and closed a few times, heat burning your cheeks. How the hell was a handful of clothing items doing this to you? Working you up into a frenzy? 

He took a few step towards you and your heart stuttered in your chest, thighs clenching tighter. He hadn't done a damn thing and already you felt yourself getting wet at just the sight of him.

"Answer me, sweetheart," he demanded–the Devil’s voice, not Matt’s, you noted.

"Yes," you breathed out. 

He chuckled lightly, shaking his head as he crossed his arms over his chest. You internally mourned the obstruction of half of his torso, but the position allowed for a better view of his thick arms. Desperately you wanted those arms pinning you down to the bed. Or a wall. Fuck, anywhere really.

"Why?" he asked curiously. 

"I don't know," you whispered back.

He took another step towards you, the smirk still on his mouth beneath the black fabric. "Lie," he called out, tone teasing. 

Licking your lips nervously, your hips shifted on the couch. Your cunt was aching and desperate for attention right now. He was toying with you on purpose, you knew that.

“I’ve–I’ve never seen you in the black suit,” you finally admitted shyly. “I’ve only seen pictures of it. On the news. Before I–I knew you.”

He took another step closer to the couch in those black boots. You could feel your own pulse hammering in your throat at the almost predatory way he was slowly stalking towards you in that goddamn black suit.

“And you liked what you saw, hmm?” he asked, voice low.

“The uh, grainy photos certainly didn’t quite do you justice,” you muttered breathily, eyes glancing back down at his abs again.

Another step closer, the smirk still lingering along that perfect mouth of his. “I haven’t even touched you, sweetheart, and you’re positively wet already. You like this that much?” he questioned. 

Hands fisting the material of the sweatpants you’d changed into after arriving at his apartment, you nodded slowly. “Yes,” you answered.

A pleased hum rumbled in his throat as he took another step closer, now standing almost beside the coffee table in front of you. “You want me to fuck you in this?” he asked next.

Something like a hot spark shot through your entire body, raising the hairs along your arms. You definitely, definitely wanted him to. But would he?

“Yes,” you whispered instantly.

The smirk on his mouth changed, shifting into something sinful and devilish at your response. He uncrossed his arms, waving you over with a gloved hand. “Come here,” he urged.

Nervously you rose from the couch, knees shaking slightly as you carefully approached him. You came to a stop right in front of him, bare feet just in front of his booted ones. One of those gloved hands came out, gently landing on your hip. Your skin felt like it was on fire underneath the layers of fabric between the skin of your hip and his hand.

“Before I fuck you,” he began, pausing to enjoy the way you swallowed hard at his words, “I’ll let you take a moment to appreciate the outfit. Since I can tell just how much you like it."

“What?” you asked, eyes narrowing.

His hand moved fast, darting out to grab your wrist before placing your palm on his chest. You could feel the solid muscle just beneath the thin, smooth fabric of his black shirt. Gradually he dragged your hand down the front of him, his hand still encircling your wrist. You could feel every dip and crevice between each individual muscle along his torso until he stopped your hand just above the belt looped through his dark pants.

“Go on,” he urged, smirk returning to his mouth as he released your wrist. “Touch me. I know you want to.”

He stood there before you, head tilted to the side as he studied you beneath the mask. His arms returned to his sides as your hand still rested low on his abdomen, just above his belt. Your breath was coming in even faster now, almost shaky with each inhale and exhale. 

Hesitantly, your fingers glided back up over his abs, appreciating the firmness beneath them. Your left hand carefully came up to rest just over the firm right pectoral muscle of his chest. Risking a glance up, you could hear the sharp exhalations coming from Matt. The smirk was gone though, replaced with something almost feral and wild as he held himself back from you. Hands shaking, both of them gradually made their way up towards his broad shoulders. 

Every part of his body felt so unbelievably solid and powerful. Not that you didn't already know how tone he was underneath everything he wore, but all that muscle wrapped in that clinging, black fabric, which had frightened and threatened countless dangerous criminals, as he just stood here before you motionless and willing was fucking exhilarating. 

Your hands slid up his warm neck, cradling his face in between your palms before roughly pulling his mouth towards yours. He kissed you back with a level of restraint that you certainly couldn't miss with the noises building in his throat and the tension growing in his body. When you broke away from his mouth, you heard the grunt of protest from him, but he remained still and patient as your hands slid over him while you moved around behind him.

You hadn't even seen the back of him yet, and your eyes adoringly raked over every inch of his muscled back visible along the expansive plane of his body. Immediately your focus dropped down–those grainy photos didn't remotely do his ass justice in these pants. Gradually your hands made their way down his back, a few of his muscles jerking under your touch as they went. 

Your hands paused at the top of the waistband of his pants. Your eyes were still very much focused on his ass that you knew was so round and firm and perfect beneath that fabric. Matt's head shifted over his right shoulder looking back at you with a grin.

"Go on, I know you want to," he teased.

Both hands quickly dropped down, landing on his ass over the dark pants. For a brief moment you paused, appreciating the fact that you were grabbing The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen's ass over those same dark pants that Katy had zoomed in on in the old photos of Daredevil's early days so many times before. Biting your tongue, you decided to take a risk and do something you'd imagined a few times too many before you'd even met Matt and had learned who the man in black really was. Your right hand released its hold, drawing back just a bit before you swung it forward, landing a solid but fairly gentle smack on his ass. Matt startled slightly for a moment before he glanced back over his shoulder, emitting what sounded like a playful growl.

"You enjoying yourself back there?" he asked, tone amused.

You couldn't fight the little grin on your mouth. You were, in fact, very much enjoying yourself.

"Quite possibly," you teased back.

A chuckle rumbled in his throat. "You need more time back there or can I move this forward, sweetheart?" he asked.

Your pulse quickened again at the thought of fucking him in the black suit. You hadn't even fucked him in the Daredevil suit before, though you'd certainly imagined it. And definitely would be imagining it more after tonight…

"And what do you have in mind?" you questioned him curiously.

He spun towards you the moment you'd asked your question. You trembled a little at the masked face that somehow was still hungrily staring back at you behind the black fabric. Without responding, he lunged at you, taking you by surprise before his mouth was on yours. His gloved hands grabbed you hard by the hips as he tugged you into his body so tight you could feel his own arousal pressing into you. He was kissing you feverishly in a flurry of tongue and teeth, his mouth only riling you up further. 

You were moaning back into his mouth, far past your usual level of arousal with Matt because of the damn suit as your fingers dug into his back, when you felt his hands moving down your body. Swiftly he grabbed you just under your ass and pulled you up onto himself. Releasing his mouth, you gasped out in surprise as your arms quickly wrapped around his firm shoulders to steady yourself. He was nipping at your neck as he began carrying you, and as you felt more wet heat dampening your underwear, you expected him to bring you to the bedroom.

Instead you realized he was carrying you to his kitchen. Your brows furrowed in confusion, enjoying the amazing feel of his mouth on your neck but wondering if he'd somehow gotten himself turned around. Until he very intentionally plopped you onto the kitchen counter before him, his two thick arms boxing your hips in from where they were positioned on either side of the counter. He leaned forward, lowering himself so his masked face was level with yours, mere inches from you. Your hips squirmed needily along the counter. He was toying with you again, you could feel it.

"I take it you've thought about fucking me long before you knew who I was," he murmured, the sound of the Devil’s voice sending a shudder down your spine. 

"Mhmm," you hummed back.

You were dying for him to touch you already. 

His jaw clenched tight at your admission, his head rolling back a bit as if that alone had turned him on. And then he was focusing back on you again, that dark smirk on his mouth–exactly where your gaze was currently focused.

"Naughty girl, thinking about fucking the Devil," he ground out. 

He was going to kill you with anticipation. 

" Matt ," you whined. 

"Hey," he countered, that sly smirk still on his mouth, "you had your fun, sweetheart. Enjoying the suit. Now I'd like to take a minute to appreciate the fact that you wanted me , like this, long before you knew me." One of his gloved hands appeared between your legs, his fingers gently resting on your clothed cunt. "You ever get off to me before?" he questioned curiously. 

"What?" you asked, eyes widening.

"You know what I mean, sweetheart," he murmured back, his fingers adding a bit of pressure along your sweatpants. "Answer the question."

You whimpered in response to the light touch over where you desperately needed him. Fuck you needed more than that. 

 "Yes," you answered softly.

There was a pleased hum that vibrated in his throat. "And what did you think about?" he pushed.

Immediately your cheeks flamed at the question. That seemed quite personal. 

"Matt, what're you–"

"Did you think about the man in the mask saving you in an alley?" he mused. "And then you'd thank him by letting him have you against a brick wall?" His fingers very slowly rubbed against you and a moan slipped out of you. "Or did you think about me climbing into your window late at night? Fucking you so hard into your mattress?"

"I–" you began, feeling shy as he waited for a response. But his fingers were rubbing harder over your sweatpants and you hoped an answer would get you more. "I thought about you breaking into my apartment," you breathed out. "Running into you when I–I came home from work." He made a noise in response like he wanted you to continue. Your heart sped up at what you were about to admit. "And you'd…eat me out on the kitchen table before fucking me over it."

"Oh sweetheart," he nearly purred, his fingers stopping and causing you to whine in protest. "I can most certainly taste that beautiful pussy, but I’m going to fuck you on our kitchen counter until you're a mess." He removed his hands from you, pulling the gloves off and throwing them aside. 

You most certainly hadn’t missed the way he’d said ‘our,’ but you were currently more interested in the fact that his hands were tugging at your underwear and sweatpants, yanking them roughly down your legs at the same time. Your own hands grabbed the hem of your shirt and pulled it up quickly over your head before you began unclasping your bra. 

The moment you saw his hands about to slide the mask off his face, you blurted, “Leave it on.”

His hands paused at the edge of the fabric, a slight huff of amusement falling from him. “If you insist,” he replied, voice deep as his hands came to rest on your bare thighs. 

“Are you done teasing me now, baby?” you whispered, staring at the black material obscuring half his face.

His lips curled upward at the corner, that almost feral expression returning. One of his fingers dove straight into your cunt and you sharply gasped in surprise before the noise broke on a sound of pleasure. 

“So impatient for me,” he mused, his finger pumping into you.

“Baby, please,” you breathily begged.

“You like calling the Devil that?” he asked, slowly dropping down between your legs. 

You eyed him below you with an unwavering gaze of your own, his mouth just hovering before your cunt. His warm breath was brushing over your skin, the sensation mingled with his finger still thrusting into you deliciously pleasant.

“I think you like it when I call you that,” you shot back.

Taken aback, his finger actually stopped its motion inside of you. Slowly, his masked face shifted up towards yours, gazing back up at you between your thighs. He was genuinely smiling up at you.

“You're damn right, I do," he agreed, tone gravelly. "And for being so open with me tonight, sweetie, I’m going to give you exactly what you want."

He didn’t even give you a chance to respond before his mouth was on you, a second finger slipping inside of you. Your head fell back over your shoulders, both of your hands sliding back a bit behind you on the counter as his tongue wholeheartedly lapped at your clit. After the building anticipation, your body had been yearning for attention. But despite how amazing it felt, you forced your head back up, your eyes landing on the sight before you.

The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen was between your thighs as you sat on the kitchen counter, black mask covering half his face as he practically devoured you, two thick fingers thrusting into you with a vigorous pace. His grunting and the occasional sound as he sucked your clit mixed with the wet sounds of his fingers pumping into your very wet cunt in the kitchen. One of your hands darted out, gripping the material of the back of his mask between your fingers. A deep noise rumbled up out of him and vibrated along your clit. The sensation had your legs shaking. 

“Shit, Matty,” you whimpered, grip tightening on the mask.

With a loud grunt, his fingers slid out of you. A moment later his hands were throwing your legs over his shoulders before he roughly yanked you further towards him. You fell back onto your elbows watching as his left hand came up to rest on your stomach as his fingers took over working your clit. His mouth lowered, his tongue mercilessly fucking into you over and over. 

"Fuck," you whimpered, eyes focused on him between your thighs.

Your vision felt like it was blurring, your breath coming in sharp pants as Matt's tongue continued to drive you wild. But as your body shook along the counter, growing closer to your climax, you wanted more of him. You wanted him to fuck you, wanted to feel him inside of you.

You wanted him to let the Devil loose on you.

"Matty, I need you," you begged. 

His mouth came off of you immediately at your words, though he slipped two fingers back inside of you. You watched him lick his lips as if he was savoring the taste of you on them. The sight had you fighting your eyes from rolling back.

“How does it feel, sweetheart,” he purred, pausing as he turned and placed a sharp bite to your inner thigh that had you hissing out, “to be the only one who’s had the Devil?”

Surprise briefly washed over you as his fingers kept their pace, his tongue soothing where he had just bitten. "I–I am?" you asked, legs still trembling. 

He grinned at you, his head nodding briefly. "Yes, sweetheart. So how does it feel to finally have me?"

“So good, baby,” you breathed out, gasping when he bit down on your thigh again. "But I–I want all of you."

His lip curled back as he released your thigh from his teeth and slid his fingers from your cunt. Carefully he lowered your legs from his shoulders, rising to his feet as his hands helped you further back onto the counter. You whined in frustration at the loss of him inside of you, Matt only chuckling in return. And then he raised the two fingers he'd had inside of you to his mouth and obscenely licked your arousal from them. Your eyes were glued to the view before you, cunt clenching around nothing as you watched. There was no denying that the black suit did something to you.

When he lowered his hand, both of them landed on his belt buckle. Casually he undid it, the clinking sound of the metal exceptionally loud in his otherwise silent apartment. You swallowed hard, goosebumps raising along your naked skin as you watched him unzip his pants next.

“So when you imagined me fucking you,” he said, breaking the silence, “was I gentle?”

Your focus was on his cock as he slowly slipped his pants and boxers just partway down his legs. He really was going to fuck you in the entire outfit.

“No,” you whispered.

“And do you want me to be?” he asked next.

Your gaze shifted, making its way up to where you imagined his own eyes were behind the mask. Most likely they were focused somewhere along your chest listening for the truth to your words. 

“No,” you answered.

Hands landing roughly down on your thighs, he shoved them apart before he pulled you forward to the edge of the counter towards him again. A faint noise of surprise left you before his mouth was on yours, kissing you fiercely. You could taste yourself on him as his tongue eagerly fought its way into your mouth. Your legs wrapped around his hips and bare ass as your hands landed on his back, fingers digging into the solid muscle under that thin shirt. A moment later you felt his cock at your slickened entrance, and then he was sliding all the way in without pause for the first time. 

Your mouth broke away from his as a strangled moan flew out of it, your forehead falling forward against his chest. Before he could even ask, you muttered, “Keep going.”

Obliging, Matt didn’t give you a moment to adjust to him as he always had before. Instead he began thrusting into you over and over, his hips rapidly picking up their pace. Your nails dug into him next, clawing at his back through the black shirt as you held on to him. There would be nothing slow and gentle about the way he fucked you this time.

The sounds of his grunts with each pump of his hips fell right into your ears. You shifted your face so you could look up at him, but all you could see beneath the mask were his lips pulled back over his gritted teeth. Your own hips did their best to meet his at the awkward angle, but his were almost vicious in their motions, slamming himself into you over and over. That warm wash of your climax was gradually building to a peak again, easily brought on by the visual of the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen actually fucking you and not just a fantasy you’d had in the past.

“You’re enjoying this,” he ground out as his pace picked up. “I can tell. You’re already so close.”

You nodded against his chest, whimpering out an affirmative noise that wasn’t quite a word. His hands slid a bit further back along your thighs, coming to grip your ass. He tugged you in even closer towards him as his hips abruptly sped up, Matt practically assaulting you with his cock. You cried out in a satisfied surprise, burying your face into his shoulder. The sound of skin on skin echoed through the apartment as that mouthwatering familiar sting hit you each time he bottomed out with his thrusts. 

His cock like this felt so good that you’d suddenly readjusted just a fraction along his broad shoulder and bit down on the firm muscle below you to keep from filling his apartment with your screams. A deep, rumbling growl fell out of Matt in response to your teeth. That sound drew your peak nearer, so you released him, shifting your mouth a fraction, and bit down again. The noise that came out of him next–a beautiful deep, low groan that he'd never made before–threw you right over and you felt your body beginning to tremble against Matt’s.

“Yes,” he breathed out, encouraging you in that dark voice of the Devil as he continued to grunt roughly with each sharp thrust of his hips. “That’s it, sweetheart.”

Nails digging into his lower back, your teeth still clamped on his shoulder, you reached your orgasm. Your eyes snapped shut as a shuddering moan drew itself out of you, your legs tightening around Matt. That pleasant wash of pleasure raced throughout your body as you came, still clinging to Matt as he continued to fuck you. 

It was a few moments before your mind felt like it came back to you, Matt keeping his pace. You released his shoulder from your teeth, raising your head to look up at Matt. His lips were pulled back in something like a ferocious snarl as he focused on you. 

“You close, baby?” you asked.

“Yes,” he grunted out, pace unwavering.  

You lowered your mouth, focusing on lapping at the skin of his neck and reveling in the feel of the satisfied vibration coming from under your tongue along his throat. Curious, you gently bit down on his pulse point–the sensitive place on his throat that you knew always drew interesting reactions. Matt's hips suddenly jerked sharply into you in response as you did. Your mouth curled into a smile against his skin, tongue darting out to lick the spot you’d bit.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he groaned. 

You bit him again, a little harder, in the same spot. A string of curses flew out of his mouth as his hips began to stutter. He was right there, you could feel him teetering on the edge. Releasing his skin from your mouth, you maneuvered yourself beside his ear, so close your lips brushed his skin when you spoke.

"You feel so good," you whispered into his ear. "You make me feel so good, Matthew."

Matt actually growled in response, goosebumps raising along your arms at the sound. 

“Cum for me, Devil,” you ordered firmly.

“Shit,” he breathed out, voice strained.

His hips spasmed against yours a few moments later and then you felt him cumming inside of you, a growling moan tearing out of him as he did. You returned to his neck, sucking that particularly sensitive spot into your mouth as you helped to carry him through his release. He grunted roughly as his hips gave a few more thrusts before they stopped. 

You placed a kiss to his neck before you sat upright. Matt was breathing heavily, head bowed forward towards you and shoulders heaving. Carefully you raised your hands up, slipping the mask up and off of his face. His eyes were half-lidded, quickly searching for you with the mask off. A sheen of sweat glistened along his forehead, his dark hair mussed from the mask.

You cupped his cheek with a hand, drawing his face towards yours. "Hey," you said quietly with a smile. "There you are, Matty."

He grinned a drowsy, blissed out smile back at you, his eyes landing on your left cheekbone. "Hey, sweetheart." 

He exhaled a sharp breath before he pulled his cock out of you, settling you more fully back onto the counter. That's when you really noticed how sore your cunt was–you'd definitely be feeling this tomorrow. 

"I can't believe all this time you had a thing for the man in the mask," Matt teased, breath still coming in short.

You blushed, running a hand across your forehead. "I can't believe I just fucked the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen," you responded, eyes briefly darting around you. " In a kitchen."

Matt barked out a laugh as he adjusted himself, pulling his dark pants and boxers back up but not zipping himself into the pants. "If I had known what this did to you, I'd have pulled it out sooner," he teased. "Maybe I'll have to get it out again."

Your heart sped up excitedly at the prospect of fucking him in the black suit again. Matt's gaze fell along your chest, a cheeky grin sliding on his face. He'd definitely caught that increase in your heart. 

"I don't think my legs are going to hold me at this point," you said, sliding off the counter.

Matt's hands instinctively darted out to your hips, carefully steadying you when your feet hit the floor. Once you'd regained your balance, you felt more heat creeping up your neck, awkwardness washing over you. 

"What's wrong?" he asked, head tilting to the side.

"Nothing," you said, shaking your head and laughing a little nervously. "Just uh, just awkward being the only one completely naked here."

Matt smiled before he bent down and grabbed your clothes from where they’d been tossed onto the floor. He handed them back to you and you muttered a quiet 'thanks' in response.

"You can always stay naked,” he suggested slyly. “And I'll join you in the bedroom just as naked after we get cleaned up.”

Biting your lip, you glanced back at the counter. It was definitely damp. “I should probably scrub your counter after that,” you said.

“Our counter,” Matt corrected firmly. Another cheeky grin slipped onto his face as he grabbed your hand. “And I can take care of it tomorrow morning. I won’t be eating on it anymore tonight.” 

He sent you a suggestive wink and you couldn’t fight the giggle that rose up out of you. Your clothes balled in one hand, you followed Matt out of the kitchen and towards the bathroom, your eyes scanning over the back of him in the black suit. You weren’t sure if and when you’d see him in it again and you wanted to commit the real thing to memory over those grainy, blurry photos.

[bloodblanks]

do you want your very own yandere boyfriend?

what if i told you that you could actually have one? and by that i mean, i can offer you your very own personalized yandere boyfriend OC. sadly i cannot manifest one for you in real life, but what i can do is offer a complete, detailed character description sheet and headcanons, complete with a drawn illustration of a custom yandere boyfriend, carefully tailored according to your own personality and needs! if any of this sounds appealing to you, you should totally keep reading :3

this is a collaboration with the lovely @nemugyo! ♡

hello! thank you for your interest in your very own personalized yandere boyfriend!

i understand that you likely have hesitances and questions regarding this so called ‘yandere boyfriend.’ which makes sense, considering that you don’t know everything about it yet. that is completely understandable. hopefully, i can provide you with enough information to satisfy your inquiries below.

how does it work?

well, first of all, you send us a message, and we’ll ask a few questions to get a general idea of what you’re looking for, as well as check what content* you are comfortable with. *more information on content below.

then, you write a description of yourself and send it to us. the more detailed, the better! you can freestyle it (we have examples to follow) or we can give you some ideas and topics to write about. most commonly, we ask for information such as: age, height, appearance, personality, hobbies, likes/dislikes, and so on. you never have to share anything you’re uncomfortable with sharing! you can send us pictures and/or also any other additional information you want us to know. don’t hesitate to infodump! the more you tell us, the better we can design your yandere boyfriend.

afterwards, we’ll create a yandere boyfriend for you based off the information you gave us. it is possible to check in with us at this stage and go over the rough drafts/sketches with us and request any additions and/or changes. however, you can also choose not to give any input or see the drafts if you want to be surprised with the final result! whatever you choose, we will do our best to satisfy your needs, and from there we’ll finish creating your yandere boyfriend.

if you have any more questions about the process, feel free to ask!

are there any demos of what the work will look like?

of course, i don’t expect you to buy a product without having any idea of what you will get. and so, here is an example of a finished standard yandere boyfriend!

[click here]

if you have further questions about the work feel free to message as well!

what specific content and concepts can be included?

the following content can be requested: artwork — blood, nudity, gore, and more. written work — various acts of bdsm, stalking, kidnapping, stockholm syndrome, manipulation, gaslighting, abuse, restraints, confinement, violence, murder, dub-con, non-con, and more.

if your idea/concept is not listed above, feel free to inquire about it in dms!

lastly, what are the prices?

here is a detailed illustrated list of our prices.

[click here]

if you have any questions about the prices and payment, don’t be afraid to ask us!

i hope that answered all the questions you may have and convinced you of how great a custom yandere boyfriend can be! however, if you still have doubts or unanswered questions, please do send (either of) us a message!

we are available on tumblr as: @bloodblanks and @nemugyo

we are available on discord as: bloodblanks and nemugyo

thank you for reading and for your interest in our custom yandere boyfriends! ♡