#so many designs... ESPECIALLY for the witches

[clegfly]

OUGH AH PLEASE DO!!!!!!!!!1 Favourite show ever 10/10 would brainwash all my mutuals into watching again

SHSHFBHS i actually really appreciate this reblog because I was working on basil and a lot of his concept designs have MAJOR spoilers so now I will know to add warnings!!! <3

I had a vision…

[okay-j-hannah]

The Kickstart | Smosh 💛

Smosh : Multishot

Spencer Agnew x Reader

Word Count: 10k

Warnings: slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, Spencer pining, reader is struggling in LA, not a lot of money, multiple jobs, poor studio apartment, inconsiderate boyfriend, lots of musical theatre talk, reader insert but a few things are already decided (last name is Bennett, favorite drink is Diet Coke, love the colors blue and green, artist, theatre nerd, etc.)

Request: This just came from my own head 😊  

A/N: I haven't written for Smosh in years... but the current cast and crew has me sucked back into the fandom. And I am sorely in need of more Spencer content 😭

I was initially inspired by this incredibly well done fic "Late Night" by @simpingsavant Please give it a read because it's a masterpiece.

Part 1: The Kickstart {You Are Here}

Part 2: Mama Bear

It was nearly three in the morning. The witching hour, you think with a smile. There was a light flickering near the fountain drinks. You lean against the checkout counter, thumbing through an aged script.

You memorize the cue lines that signal when quick changes are supposed to happen between scenes. The current musical you are working on is Hairspray.

Going through the script and your production notes really help pass the time.

The small rinky-dink gas station you manage is your reluctant home most nights. It wasn’t your favorite place, but it helped with the bills. Trying to make a living on production design for musicals isn’t the money maker you hoped it would be in LA.

You barely made anything doing hair and makeup for the community theatre. But it was something you loved.

And wouldn’t you rather be doing something you love than being miserable in a high paying corporate job?

Sure, you think.

It had been nearly eight months since you started working at this gas station. The owner was as rinky-dink as the store itself, speaking in short, to the point sentences and avoiding eye contact. There were only two gas pumps out front that rarely attracted customers.

The biggest commodity are the cheap drinks and snacks inside. Many stop by for something quick on their way to and from work.

Normally working the night shifts from 10pm to 6am, you are quick to notice any regulars. Not many people are awake at this time of night, let alone on their way to the gas station for a drink.

The bell sounds above the door as a familiar face enters. It was Glasses.

That’s what you called him after seeing him for the third time in a week, back when you first started working here.

He usually came in late like this, looking exhausted. He has curly dark hair, gold rimmed glasses, and some scruff. Today he’s dressed in jeans rolled up at the cuffs, brown boots, and a gray sweatshirt.

He gives you an awkward, close-lipped smile as he passes. You watch him go for the drink fridges. Energy drinks are his specialty, maybe the occasional coffee or breakfast sandwich. He always bought them two at a time, taking the slight discount for buying a duo instead of a single.

About every other week he’s there three to four of those days. You’ve always wondered why – especially when he always looked so tired when he came in.

But you’ve never had a conversation that’s lasted longer than the cordial exchanges.

“Hello,” you say.

“Hello,” he replies with his awkward smile.

You scan his drinks, Mountain Dew Kickstarts like always. “Find everything you need?”

“Yep.”

The computer beeps. “That’ll be $8.56.”

“All right.” He taps his card on the machine in front of him.

“Would you like your receipt?”

“No thanks.” He grabs his two cans.

“Have a nice night.”

“You too.”

It had been like that for maybe six of those eight months. After that, your curiosity began to plague you. The next time he came in, you watch him browse for a Kickstart and a breakfast muffin.

Saying hello to him had felt routine. But it was clear that you both recognized each other. So you decide to say something a little more than usual.

“Getting breakfast a little early?” you joke in your quiet voice.

He smiles, pulling out his wallet. “I just haven’t eaten anything all night.”

“Sounds like a rough night. That’s $9.34.”

He scans his card. “It has been.”

With him looking down at the keypad, you take the time to look at the circles under his eyes. “You should try the croissant sandwiches. Much better than stale muffins.”

He nods his head, “Next time. Thanks.”

You watch him walk away, still at a loss as to why he’s always in there this late at night.

A couple days later he’s walking in and giving you a wave. You smile at him as he makes for the drinks again.

He’s dressed in those same jeans and combat boots. Now he wears a t-shirt with a denim jacket. If you had friends to talk to, you’d want to tell them how Glasses loves to wear the same jeans and jackets all the time.

He comes to the counter and clears his throat.

You scan his drinks and a breakfast sandwich. A croissant sandwich.

You chuckle, “You won’t be disappointed.”

“I’m counting on it,” he says, tapping his card against his hand while he waits.

“Haven’t eaten anything all night again?”

He hums, shrugging his shoulders, “Felt peckish.”

“Do you want your receipt?”

“No, that’s fine. Have a good night.”

You throw the balled up receipt into the garbage bin beside you. “You too.”

You’d love to tell a friend that Glasses seems shy. He seems nice.

A few weeks later, you’re drawing sketches for costume designs. You were doing Shrek The Musical at the community theatre. Papers were full of drawings depicting a white rabbit, a wicked witch, a wolf in granny clothes, and fairies with colorful makeup.

You were humming one of the songs when Glasses came in with a yawn. His eyes search for you and he waves, “Good evening.”

“Good night,” you say sarcastically.

He grabs his drinks and comes to the counter with wandering eyes. You try to move your sketches and pencils out of the way.

“Sorry,” you say, “That’ll be $8.56.”

He scans his card, but keeps looking at your art. “You draw those?”

“Yeah,” you say, abashedly. “Little project.”

“They’re really good,” he pops open one of the drinks and takes a sip. “Are they just for fun, or…?”

You shyly pull out a drawing of a person in a dragon scale costume. “They’re for the musical I’m a part of. Down at the local theatre.”

“That’s cool,” his face lights up.

Something warm tickles your stomach. You were actually having a normal conversation with Glasses.

“Are you the costume designer?”

“Assistant,” you bow your head. “I’m head of hair and makeup.”

He nods, clearly interested. “Have you been a part of production teams much?”

“For years,” you smile, “I love theatre. I’ve done almost everything. Acting, costumes, set design, lighting – you name it.”

He pockets the other energy drink in his jacket pocket. “Sounds like fun. Have a nice rest of your night.”

“Thank you, you too.”

If you had friends, maybe you’d tell them that Glasses might become a friend. The only person you have to text is your new boyfriend Aaron. But he wasn’t a fan of nonsense texts – texts that were unnecessary.

A few weeks go by, now seven months into your job at the gas station. Glasses was still making his almost daily visits. You caught him standing outside the window for a minute before coming in.

You have confusion in your face, but a smile on your lips. “You okay there?”

He raises his eyebrows and talks as he walks to the fridges. “What do you mean?”

“Was there something on that window or were you just making sure you weren’t a vampire?” At his knitted brows, you continue, “You know… checking that you still had a reflection.”

Heat floods your face at the poor attempt at a joke, but Glasses laughs, nonetheless. “I might be nocturnal, but no, I’m not a vampire.”

You smile, admiring him walking towards you. His fluffy curls were sticking out from beneath a green hat. In white embroidery it says, Smosh.

“How were auditions?” he asks, getting his card ready.

You bite the inside of your cheek. “Good. I think we’ll have a good cast.” Earlier that week he asked about the latest Hairspray script that was on your counter. “The quick changes will be fun.”

He clears his throat, having paid but still standing at the register.

“I’m sorry, did you want your receipt?” you ask suddenly. “Normally you don’t so I stopped asking.”

“No, no – sorry. I’ve been trying to find some clever segway to introduce myself. But we’ve been seeing each other for months and it feels strange to do it now.” He rubs his forehead, struggling to maintain eye contact with you while he talks. “I mean, it’s not like I have a nametag like you.”

You look down at your chest to see (Y/N) printed on the laminated tag. “That’s true.”

He takes a deep breath and extends his hand. “I’m Spencer.”

You take his hand. It was very warm. “(Y/N).”

He smiles, “Nice to officially meet you.”

Maybe you’ll tell Aaron that Glasses has a new name now. Spencer.

One night at two in the morning, you were asked to do inventory while another employee managed the registers. It was strange to have a coworker with you on night shifts, but when things need to be restocked, it took a team.

You use a box cutter to break through packages, pulling out chip bags and candies. You roll them out on a dolly. Plastic wrappers crinkling as you restock shelves, you don’t notice who Eric at the counter is talking to.

But then a pair of glasses peek around the corner. “Hey!”

You smile wide, “Spencer!”

He smiles back, “I was worried when I didn’t see you at the registers.”

“Yeah, they need two of us here when we do inventory,” you shake a bag of doritos before putting it on the shelf. “How was your day?”

He sighs, opening his drink, “Long. Shooting weeks always are.” He tells you about the online comedy group he’s a part of. It was called Smosh.

“Oh, you’ve worn some merch that has that logo on it,” you say, moving a box out of the way.

Spencer nods, “Gotta promote whenever we can.”

“How large is the group?”

“Well, it’s more of an entertainment company. We have a huge production team and a cast. We film content for four different channels.”

“That’s impressive.”

He suddenly dips down to help hand you boxes of candy. “I guess. I think most of LA are internet personalities in one way or another.”

“I’m not,” you say quietly. “It is impressive.”

You learn about his directorial position on one of the channels. Being a head producer, he has a lot of sway on that content. You commend him on the responsibility, and he seems pleased, if not a little embarrassed.

He excuses himself not long after that.

You head towards the registers to restock the candy on the counters. Eric is there giving you a telling smile.

“What are you looking at?” you ask.

The middle-aged man scoffs, “That guy came in with the biggest smile on his face, but then he realized I was the one standing at the counter and he looked so disappointed.”

“I’m sure he was just in need of an energy drink.”

Eric shakes his head, “It wasn’t me that he wanted to see.”

Now in the present, you stand at the counter while Spencer leans against the other side. You had just revealed the fact that you have a boyfriend.

“H-How long have you been together?” he asks with much more nervousness than before.

You scrunch your nose in thought, “About two months. It’s been great though. He gives me rides to work and everything.”

“You don’t have a car?” Spencer asks, paying for his snacks.

You throw the receipt away, “No. I was taking the bus before I met him.” Noticing the awkwardness enter Spencer’s face, you say, “Rough I know. But I manage.”

“It’s nice of him.”

“Yeah, especially because I don’t really make enough to get a car right now.”

“Isn’t that why you have this job on top of the musical theatre stuff?” he offers you a package of your favorite candy.

It makes you smile, “Sure. But rent isn’t helping with my savings. Living paycheck to paycheck.”

“Does Aaron drive you to theatre too?”

Your gaze falls from Spencer’s, eating a piece of candy to give you some time before answering. “No, he’s not a big fan of musicals.”

Spencer scrunches his brow. Unsure of what was stepping over the line with this new friend of his, he tiptoes. “He won’t drive you because he doesn’t like theatre?”

“It’s kind of inconvenient asking him to come get me late after rehearsals. I shouldn’t ask for so much, he’ll think I’m dating him just to have a cab driver.” You snicker at your joke, but Spencer doesn’t seem to think it’s very funny.

He drinks from his can when another customer enters the store. That always meant he would excuse himself so you could get back to your job.

You start to expect Spencer each week. You wait for when you know a filming week was at Smosh. During that time, Spencer would visit for his necessary caffeine. He always stops to talk to you for a few minutes before leaving.

You always feel bad since he normally came in exhausted from work. He denies himself sleep just to spend a few more minutes with you.

It takes a couple more weeks, but he starts to stay even when more customers come in. He just steps to the side and waits for you to ring the customer up.

Then he comes back to continue your conversation.

“So do you prefer acting or production?”

You share the snacks that he’s purchased. “Production, for sure. I kind of developed stage fright a couple years ago. But I do miss being on stage sometimes.”

He looks at you while you talk. He’s an active listener. He zeros in on your face while you speak, ensuring he doesn’t miss anything.

But when he speaks, he tends to look elsewhere. “Did something happen?”

You shrug, “I just get nervous being in the spotlight now. I don’t like the attention much.”

“I get that. I haven’t always loved being on camera. It’s taken finding the right company to do it.”

You nod, “That sounds nice. To be so comfortable in the workplace. And to have everyone there as friends.”

He agrees, “Though a lot of them like to crack jokes about not seeing each other outside of work.” He chuckles as he remembers something. “It’s great being a part of a company where the goal is comedy content. You get to have fun with your friends every day.”

“And you’ve been there for so long,” you say, “You’ve definitely earned your place.”

“Thank you,” he feels warm around the collar, “It’s been hard at times, but well worth it now.”

You suddenly feel a warmth in your cheeks. “You know, um… my show opens next week. If – If you’re interested in seeing it. I’ll be there every night.”

“Helping Edna quick change into her fancy 60s outfit,” he smiles kindly. His eyes are soft and considerate as he watches your nervous gesture. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

You brighten, “Great!”

A week later you’re in the wings of the stage, sweaty with the heat the spotlights generate. A headset adorns your head, microphone near your mouth. You’re readjusting a costume onto a rack from the last quick change.

The last number of the show was currently playing: You Can’t Stop the Beat. You whisper the lyrics and subtly follow along with the choreography.

It was safe to do so with the curtains hiding you from the audience.

You listen to the applause as the cast bows. You imagine them gesturing to the tech booth, acknowledging the production team behind the scenes. You give a little imaginary bow to the audience.

Waiting in the dressing rooms, you help organize the costumes and clean up the makeup counters. Cast members thank you for your help, carrying massive bouquets and presents from the crowd.

You compliment the flowers and give your praise to their performances. It’s forty minutes later, having put the makeup and hairspray away, preening the wigs, and spraying down the character shoes, that you find your purse and head towards the front doors.

Outside on the sidewalk you’re met with an unexpected surprise.

Spencer.

He stands under the white lights of the theatre logo. He adorns his usual rolled up jeans and band t-shirt, denim jacket over it. His curls look extra defined tonight and in his hand are three colorful carnation flowers.

“Spencer? What are you…? I didn’t know you were coming tonight!” You walk towards him and for the first time since meeting him – you hug him.

Arms around his shoulders, smelling his clean, fresh scent. He seems timid to hug you back.

“Well… I did say I would come see the show.”

You shake your head. “I would have come out sooner if I knew you’d be here. I’m so sorry to keep you so long.”

“It’s no problem,” he offers the flowers. “Worth the wait.”

You give a smile, but your face is still regretful, “You shouldn’t have. I wasn’t even on stage.”

“Of course you were,” he says, “Your costumes and wigs and makeup were there.”

You hold the few flowers, completely endeared by him. “Thank you. This is really kind of you. You didn’t have to.”

He shrugs, shoving his empty hands into his pockets. “It’s kind of weird seeing you out of uniform. I’ve never seen you out of that polo and black pants.”

“Well, stage crew attire isn’t much different,” you laugh, gesturing to the long sleeve black shirt and leggings. “What did you think of the show?”

“It was excellent,” he says, “It’s such a fun show. I bet you loved teasing those wigs and picking out costumes with those crazy patterns.”

“And the quick changes?”

“I counted like 38 seconds,” he laughs, “That’s super impressive.”

You smile warmly, though the night air had a chill to it. “Thank you for coming, Spencer. It means a lot.”

“Of course,” he steps away, “I’ll see you later.”

You start to walk down the sidewalk, opposite the parking lot. Spencer suddenly has a thought. He runs up to you.

“Wait, how are you getting home?”

“Oh, I walk to the bus stop and take that.”

He looks down at your crossed arms trying to keep you warm. “Aaron really won’t come get you?”

“I don’t want to inconvenience him.” You wave away the look of worry in his face. “I do this every night, it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Yeah, but… you shouldn’t have to.”

“Have a good night, Spence.”

You’ve never used a nickname with him before. He huffs a little before following your retreating figure, “Then let me give you a ride.”

You keep walking, “Really, Spence – I’ll be okay.”

“I know,” he says, “But let me help. I want to give you a ride. It’s cold.”

Your fingers feel like ice against your arms. You look in the direction of the bus stop before looking at the pleading in Spencer’s face.

“Okay,” you say quietly. “Thank you.”

Relief floods his expression, “Great, this way.”

He guides you to his car and even opens the passenger door for you. It’s a kind gesture that you aren’t used to. He turns on the heater and your seat warmer before exiting the parking lot.

You direct him to your poor excuse of a studio apartment. The pair of you speak pleasantries the entire way. The lighting design of the musical, the strategic sets that move quickly, the realistic prop hairspray, and things like that.

He didn’t notice how you cower in the seat. He thinks it’s just because you’re still cold.

“Is the gas station good about changing your schedule so you can be there on show nights?”

“Yes, they’re so kind about it,” you say, playing with your fingers. It was a nervous habit of yours – pinching, rubbing, and picking at them. “I switch with a usual day shifter.”

Spencer nods, “I – I’ve missed seeing you at our usual time.”

“Our usual time?” you laugh, like your gas station hangouts were scheduled playdates.

He smiles, embarrassed, “Yeah, I mean… your customer service is so excellent. How am I supposed to get a Kickstart when you’re not there?”

“You know there are dozens of other gas stations and convenience stores around here.”

“Yeah, but they don’t have you.”

Something beats loudly in your chest. It sends a waterfall of warm, fizzing fireworks into your stomach.

Your apartment building is in a scary part of LA – but it’s what you can afford. Aaron was hinting at moving in together just for the ease of splitting the rent. It did sound appealing when you could actually save a little for a car.

“Thanks again for the ride,” you say, unbuckling your seatbelt.

He looks nervous again, “Anytime. And… maybe we could exchange numbers – in case you need another ride from the theatre?”

You look at him warmly, “I’m not going to ask you to come grab me when you could be in a filming week.”

He shrugs his shoulders, “I would still come.”

With a small smile, you take out your phone and open a new contact. In the name slot you put ‘Glasses.’ Spencer switches your phones and puts his number in.

You smile wider as you put your name in the contact and put a little theatre emoji after it.

“Glasses?” he asks, handing you back your phone.

“Yeah, that’s…” you brush warm fingers with him as you accept your phone. “That’s what I called you when I noticed you as a regular at the gas station. I didn’t know your name, so I gave you one in my head.”

He seems overly please about that. He has to look away from you and smile. “That’s funny, I like it. What would you do if you saw me without glasses? It would be a whole new identify to you.”

“Very Clark Kent of you,” you laugh.

He suddenly removes his gold rimmed glasses and looks at you all serious. “You’re right, during the day I’m fighting crime with the Justice League and at night I refuel at the gas station.”

“Superman refuels with energy drinks?” you laugh, causally reaching over to snatch his glasses. “I don’t know if Krypton would approve.”

“No, no – Kryptonians thrive off extra energy. Sun energy and now caffeine energy.”

His eyes are a dark green-gray color. Maybe that’s just because it’s dark outside. But you can’t decide what color they actually are. They’re definitely not brown.

You raise the glasses to your eyes and look at him. “I didn’t realize Superman was so blind.”

“It’s not that bad,” Spencer laughs, looking at you fondly.

You return the glasses, “Drive safe. Thanks again for the ride. Text me when you get home safely.”

He waves you off, waiting until you’re able to unlock your door before driving away.

Inside your apartment, you look at the chipped walls and cracked ceiling. The musty, uncomfortable couch in front of the small tv atop a table you got free off a lawn. To the right is the tiny kitchen with only one counter and no dining table.

Rummaging through a cabinet, you find a tall plastic cup to put your carnation flowers into.

The bathroom is straight ahead, where you go into to get ready for bed.

The porcelain of the tub and sink have rust stains around the handles. The tile of the floor is broken in places and the dim light above is giving off an ugly yellow glow.

You open the mirror cabinet to grab what you need to brush your teeth. Brand names are all obscure as you did get the supplies from a dollar store down the street.

If you had a little more money, you would buy a face wash and face towels. But the essentials were good enough.

You cross the hall to get to your bed. Being a studio apartment, there isn’t a separate room for your bed. It lies on the floor behind the tv stand and in front of the only window in the whole place.

The queen mattress was the one thing you spent a little more money on. It doesn’t have a headboard or support to keep it off the ground, but it was comfortable and had nice periwinkle blue sheets.

You change into sage green pajamas with little daisies on them, climbing into your bed and fumbling for the phone charger next to the mattress.

As you plug your phone in, a text message comes in from Glasses.

“Just got home. You did amazing tonight! See you later this week.”

You heart his message and give him a thank you in reply.

~~~

The end of the week is approaching and you’re at the theatre again. Headset on, you hang in the tech booth, grabbing a few more safety pins, mic tape, and alcohol wipes.

The oversized fanny pack you love to wear across your chest is open and full of supplies. You stuff the microphone items inside, watching the stage from the view of the booth.

Tracy was beginning the song Welcome to the 60s. You turn on the microphone by your mouth.

“Head to the wings for quick change pretty please.”

A muffled reply comes through the headset, “On the way, (Y/N).”

You leave the tech booth and walk out of the audience room to the side entrance of the wings. Waiting on stage right, you hold Edna’s new dress for the song. Two stage crew members help by holding accessories and waiting to take off Edna’s current costume.

“Go mama, go, go go!”

Edna comes running off to stage right, tossing their purse to the stage crew member. They wiggle out of their simple purple plaid dress and step right into the sparkly pink dress you have waiting open on the floor.

You pull up the fabric as you hear the lyrics continue on stage.

“Don’t let nobody try to steal your fun, ‘cause a little touch of lipstick never hurt no one.

The future’s got a million roads for you to choose, but you’ll walk a little taller in some high-heeled shoes.”

You zip up the dress and readjust the mic pack on the suit strap beneath. Stage crew throws a new necklace on and a sparkle to the lip makeup. The other stage crew snugs a fuller wig onto the actor, starting to pin it down onto the wig cap. You hand a feather boa to the actor and help pin the new wig in.

“Come on out, hear us shout. Mama, that’s your cue!”

Just in time, you think, sending the actor back onto stage. It always felt like a close call, but the audience shouting their surprise and praise always felt like a reward.

You smile at the stage crew members and wave them off to help with set pieces. You then take the old purple plaid costume to the rack to keep it from wrinkling on the floor.

While in the dressing rooms you meet the actress playing Penny Pingleton, “Hey, sis – I noticed your mic tape not sitting so good on your cheek.”

She smiles worriedly, the action making the mic tape unstick from her face and the microphone dangle from her ear. “Just a little.”

You pull out an alcohol wipe and roll of tape from your pack. “There might just be too much makeup in the way.” You wipe the spot where the microphone sits on her cheek, fanning your hand to make the alcohol dry.

Cutting two pieces of tape, you line the microphone and stick it in place. The actress keeps her face straight, letting it adhere.

“Thanks, (Y/N).”

“Anytime.” You leave the dressing room to find the man playing Seaweed. His mic belt kept twisting beneath his costume.

You track him down and use safety pins to secure the mic belt to his undershirt. Now as he dances and changes, the mic pack will stay in place. He shares his gratitude and runs off to the next scene.

The rest of the show goes without a hitch. The audience claps during the bows, and you give your imaginary bow to the curtains.

You begin to clean the dressing rooms when you get a text. From Glasses.

“Hey, I’m at the entrance by the concessions when you’re done in the back.”

A smile creeps onto your face. He saw the show a second time? You text back, “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

You’re quick to clean up and organize the costumes before heading out. The front was still packed with audience members trying to talk and take pictures with the cast members. You push your way towards the concessions table to see Spencer there.

He was wearing a black Creed t-shirt, arms full of silly tattoos on total display. Instead of holding flowers, he’s holding a Diet Coke from the concessions. You grin, falling out of the crowd and into him for a hug.

He catches you and hugs you back. You feel the cold soda against your shirt.

“I can’t believe you came again!” You pull away, eyes shining. You’ve never had someone to meet outside the theatre after a show before.

He extends the drink he got for you. “I told you it was an excellent show. And I wanted to bring a friend to see it too.”

A woman stands beside him, “And he misses seeing you at the gas station every day.”

You miss how Spencer nudges the woman with his elbow. You were too busy recognizing her face.

“Oh my god – oh my fucking god,” you accidentally shake the soda as you wave your hands. “You’re Angela Giarratana!”

Her brown eyes widen ridiculously, “Um… yeah, I am.”

“You were on Nerdy Prudes Must Die!”

A smile replaces the surprise on her face, “Oh, yes! I was in that show last year. You really scared me there for a second.”

Spencer licks his lips, watching the excitement on your face. “I wondered if you’d seen anything from StarKid.”

“Well, I’m a theatre kid, aren’t I?” you say, “I literally have a Hatchetfield Nighthawks letterman jacket. It’s so nice to meet you, Angela. I’m (Y/N).” You lean into a hug and Angela returns it kindly.

“I know, Spencer’s talked about you.” She steps away and compliments the show, “You did a great job with the costume design. Spencer and I were timing the quick changes.”

“I am very proud of those,” you say excitedly. “I’m sorry, I can’t stop smiling. Thank you for coming to our show. How do you know Spencer?”

Angela smacks Spencer’s arm, “We work together. He’s more behind the scenes and I’m more on camera.”

“At Smosh? That’s awesome!”

“Yeah, it’s all right,” she says, looking to Spencer and then laughing. “I gotta be careful or Spencer won’t put me in any of the videos on Games.”

You open your soda, drinking it like you were parched all night. “Are you working on any more theatre projects?”

“Eh, not at the moment,” Angela says, folding her arms. “I’m spending most of my time on Smosh sets.” She eyes you for a second before saying, “Do you have a portfolio by chance?”

“A portfolio?” you ask, wiping your lip of soda. “Of what?”

Angela rubs at her chin, “Sketches of your costume designs or makeup aesthetics. Maybe a performing arts resume. Pictures of your work on stage.”

“Um…” you pull awkwardly on the edge of your shirt. “No, not formally. But I could pull something together.”

“That’d be great. I’d love to see more of your work.”

Spencer looks incredibly pleased with himself, biting on his lips. “Would you let me give you a ride home?”

Your eyes are still shining, flitting your gaze between the two friends. “Um… yeah – that’d be great.”

All of you walk outside the theatre and towards the parking lot. Spencer is quick to open the passenger door for you and you give an awkward thank you.

Angela rolls her eyes and climbs into the back. “He’s such a doofus.” You watch Spencer walk around the hood of the car to get into the drivers side.

“A what?” you laugh.

“Just watch him – you’ll notice sooner or later.”

He climbs in and uses the seatbelt, “Watch who?”

You clear your throat, “Joey Richter. He’s another actor on StarKid Productions. He’s super talented.”

Angela snickers in the back. “What was the first thing you watched on StarKid?”

“A Very Potter Musical,” you laugh, “Way back in the day.”

“Classic,” Angela says, folding her arms and slumping into the seat. “What brought you to LA?”

You play with your fingers. “I wanted to move out of my home state. And I wanted to get more into the arts. But it’s been hard to find stable work.”

“You’re telling me. That’s the life of an actor – just jumping from one gig to another.”

“It would be the dream,” you sigh, “To do this full time. I just wish I had a little more security with it. A stable income. Not to be afraid with how I’ll afford food every month.” You awkwardly laugh as you realize you might’ve said too much. “But I’m doing all right.”

Angela agrees, “It’s hard to do well in the arts.”

“Hard to be recognized,” Spencer says. “(Y/N) already does well in the arts.”

You smile, your cheeks warm. “When is your next filming week?”

“Next week,” Angela sighs, yawning big. “Which reminds me – I gotta pick up that new pair of glasses for the office.”

“Angela is super blind and never wears her glasses during shoots,” Spencer explains. “Especially on the games channel. She’s always squinting super bad at the tv whenever we’re playing a game.”

“And I’ve been doing just fine!” Angela says loudly, “I’ve been training my eyes to see that far.”

Spencer scoffs, “Yeah, and the compilations of you squinting are growing at an exponential rate because of it.”

“Shut up!” Angela yells.

You laugh at their antics. “Are you allowed to yell at your boss like that?”

Spencer looks in the rearview mirror, “Yeah, Angela. As your superior you need to treat me with a high level of respect. I expect a full written apology and a certain amount of groveling before you’re allowed back on the Games set.” His tone was serious, but by the wide comical look in his eye, you know he’s using hyperbole as a joke.

“The heads of Smosh are actually Ian and Anthony, so don’t you even pull that superiority card!”

You keep giggling at this funnier, more outspoken Spencer. Proof that he was very comfortable with this coworker and their workplace.

It sounds nice.

~~~

Angela sits in the passenger seat now, slumped into the door and leaning her forehead against the window.

“She’s really nice.”

“Yeah,” Spencer says quietly, thoughts still lingering on you.

Angela looks over at him and smirks. “You like her so fucking much. I knew you did when you wouldn’t shut up about her at the office, but damn – seeing you with her was nearly painful.”

“What are you talking about? I’m so subtle about it.”

“So you don’t deny it!” she sits up stick straight, so fast that the seatbelt locks into place and stops her from moving anymore.

Spencer flounders, “I – what – no, that’s not what I said!”

“You totally did you little fucker! You like her so much it hurts. You like her so much your cheeks are going to burst into flames. You like her so much you can’t get a full sentence out.”

“Angela, shut the fuck up – you don’t know what you’re talking about!”

She bounces in her seat, “I’m so subtle about it. I can’t believe you. You’ve been talking about this girl for almost a year. Of course you have a crush on her!”

“Angela, I swear to god, don’t ruin this for me.”

“How would I ruin this? I want my little Spencey to have true love. You have to ask her out.”

“Yeah, genius – you’re forgetting about a teensy little detail. She has a fucking boyfriend.”

Angela freezes, sitting back. “Right.” She bites her lip, “Should have made your shot earlier.”

“And risk looking like a creep asking a girl out at a gas station? No thank you.”

“Is you considering her for the production team on Smosh an elaborate way to play the long game with her?”

“No!” Spencer grips the steering wheel, sounding like a bickering sibling. “She has real talent, and I think she deserves the position.”

Angela holds up her hands, “All right, okay.” She side eyes him with raised brows, “… but you wouldn’t be upset if she suddenly became available and you could ask her out?”

He refuses to meet Angela’s eyes. “I’m not giving you the satisfaction by answering that question.”

“You basically just answered it,” she folds her arms, “You know… I can’t promise I can keep this from Amanda. Or Shayne.”

Spencer puts his elbow against the window and holds his temple.

“Or Chanse.”

“I figured.”

Angela gave him a sympathetic smile. “For what it’s worth – I think she has a real shot. We should get her portfolio to Ian and Anthony asap.”

~~~

You’re cleaning the counters at the gas station. It’s nearing the end of your shift, almost 6am. And Spencer hadn’t visited you like he usually did. It was actually making you worried.

You had spent the last few days collecting every piece of art and experience you had to compile a portfolio. It didn’t feel like a very thick folder, but it had every ounce of hard work from the last few years.

It sits within a blue cover under the registers, waiting for Spencer to come.

“Hey!” there he comes through the door. “I’m so sorry, we had an overnight shoot, and I forgot to tell you.”

You look confused, “Spence, you didn’t have any obligation to be here. We didn’t make any plans.”

“I know, but I usually…” he looks flustered and upset. “You know, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

You smile kindly, “It’s okay. I’m not angry.”

He runs a hand through his curly hair, his eyes considering you as you clean. “This early in the morning, we both look exhausted now.”

“Aw, we have matching dark circles under our eyes!” You go under the counter to grab the blue folder. “Here’s that portfolio Angela was asking about. I wasn’t sure how to get it to her, so maybe you could take it to work?”

“Um… yeah, for sure. Thanks.”

The bell above the door rings, signaling the appearance of a new customer. Usually at this point in the mornings, customers would come in for their sustenance before work. You’re focused on Spencer, unaware of the person walking towards you.

“(Y/N), let’s go.”

You turn your eyes around and see Aaron beelining for your counter.

“Oh, hey,” you say quietly, “You’re twenty minutes early.”

“And?”

This man was over six foot, broad shouldered, and unkempt. His eyes are lazy and hard pressed, his jaw tense as you contradict him.

You wring your hands, “I’m not allowed to leave until six.”

“Well, I’m here now. Let’s go.”

“That’s…” you suck in a breath. He smells like stale beer. “Let me clock out and tell my boss.” You round the counter and are quick to enter the back rooms.

Spencer stays where he is, holding the blue portfolio, and looking at Aaron with an air of disdain. It was not the first impression he was expecting when picturing your boyfriend.

“You waiting to buy something?” Aaron asks, frowning at the way Spencer’s looking at him.

“No, I was just…” he swallows. “I was just talking with (Y/N).”

Aaron squints his eyes, hands moving to his hips. “And you know her because?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“(Y/N) doesn’t have any friends.”

“Untrue, because I’m standing right here.”

Aaron flexes his jaw, “She hasn’t mentioned you before.”

“Yes, I have,” you reappear without your nametag and your purse now around your shoulder. “I’ve talked about him a couple times.” You stand beside Spencer and instantly feel the tension.

Aaron extends his hand like he wants to take yours. “If you did talk about him, I would have remembered. We’re leaving.”

You go to hold his hand, but he moves his to grab your arm, pulling you towards the door. You turn your head to mouth, “Sorry,” towards Spencer.

Spencer waves at you, his face placid and upset. He watches out the windows to see Aaron let you go on the sidewalk to get into the car yourself. He slams the car shut, neglecting his seatbelt, and squealing out of the parking lot.

Still upset, Spencer gets into his car and contemplates his next move. His instincts told him that you weren’t completely safe. He wonders if you and Aaron have moved in together yet – he was trying to pull the ‘cheaper rent’ card on that account.

It was blatantly clear that Aaron was gaslighting you. Within three minutes, he was pegged as an asshole.

Spencer pulls out his phone and sends you a text. “Nice seeing you today, hope you get some good sleep.”

He rubs hard at his face before driving off. He plans to show your portfolio to Ian and Anthony tomorrow.

~~~

You’re sitting on the couch, playing on your PlayStation, when someone knocks on the door. Enjoying the day off, you wonder what door-to-door salesman is at your house.

You open the door and a giant smile envelopes your face, “Spencer! You didn’t tell me you were going to visit.”

He take a breath, “Um… yeah, I wanted to ask you something and I couldn’t wait until you were on shift.”

You lean against the doorframe, biting your lip. “Well, I would invite you inside, but I have to warn you… it’s not very nice.”

“I don’t care,” he says matter-of-factly. “I just want to talk.”

“All right,” you say shyly, opening the door wide. You watch his reaction, already feeling embarrassment brewing in your stomach.

Spencer looks around for a second, taking in the minimal furniture and all around lackluster state of the structure. He zeros in on the old tv displaying your video game.

“Are you playing Red Dead Redemption 2?”

“Uh… yeah,” you say quietly, holding yourself and you walk into the living room. “It’s one of my favorites.”

Spencer smiles, finding it amazing to learn something new about you that he loves. “Nice horse.”

You laugh, sitting on the couch and grabbing your controller. Your cowboy character was riding a white horse in the middle of a river. “It’s the White Arabian you have to tame by Lake Isabella.”

“Is that… like the best horse or something?” Spencer comes to sit beside you, sinking into the musty couch.

“It’s the only elite Arabian horse that you can find in the wild.”

Spencer leans against the couch arm, resting his face in one hand. “I didn’t realize you were a gamer.”

“The more you know me, the more of a nerd I become.”

“Nothing wrong with that, you big nerd.”

You giggle, “What did you want to talk about?’

Spencer clears his throat. “I uh… I took your portfolio to work.”

“What did Angela think?”

“She thought it was all great. But um… a few others got a look at it too.” He shifts uncomfortably on the couch. “There’s this job opening on the production team, specifically on the Smosh main channel. But they would help with all the channels.”

You pause the game again and really look at him. “What is the position?”

“An assistant art coordinator. They help the art directors with creating sets, costumes, and character looks.”

“And what are the responsibilities?”

“They’re looking for someone to manage hair and makeup for Smosh skits and any character work on other channels. Most of the cast do it themselves, but we do need someone who specializes in prosthetics makeup. And you seem to have done that a lot in theatre. We also need someone to manage costume work – the upkeep of them.”

You swallow hard, arms slowly moving to hold yourself. “Do you know what the salary is?”

“I think it’s around 50k-60k. You’ll make between $24 - $28 an hour.”

You bite your cheek. “That’s great.” You look at your surroundings. This new job would be paying you over $10 more than you’re getting now. “Are you saying Smosh is interested in interviewing me for assistant art coordinator?”

Spencer nods his head. “That is basically what I’m saying.”

“Did you show your bosses my portfolio on purpose?” You lower your eyes but look at him through your lashes.

He takes a deep breath, stretching out on the couch. “Maybe. Maybe I thought you deserved a chance.” He looks at you seriously, “I think you’ve got some real talent, (Y/N). You should go for an interview.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll do it.”

You look at him, “I’m suddenly super nervous.” A laugh escapes you, “I… I have to talk to Aaron about it.”

“Okay,” Spencer says with an edge. He tries to be respectful. “Have you two…”

“We’ve moved in together,” you say softly. “To make bills a little easier. And… and as a trial run, I guess. I’ll be able to save up for a car now.”

Spencer has a finger on the corner of his mouth. “Do you think you could make an interview this Thursday?”

You think for a second, “I’m sure Aaron would be okay with that. I’ll just talk to him about it tonight.”

He doesn’t seem happy about that statement. But instead of saying something he might regret, he points to the PlayStation. “Have you completed this game before?”

“Oh, yeah – maybe three times,” you pick up the controller again. “This time I’m trying to complete all of the side quests before finishing the main story.”

“You should be wearing a cowboy hat while playing.”

“That would be awesome,” you laugh. You look at him with sincerity, “Thank you for looking out for me, Spence. I appreciate the chance.”

He gives a close-lipped smile. “Always.”

~~~

You step off the bus and begin to walk down the street. Using your phone, you follow the directions that Spencer gave you.

The Smosh office was right around the corner.

You enter the building, pulling on the only pair of dress pants you own. You readjust the simple blouse to show off the single diamond necklace you wear around your neck. You hope it gives you a professional first impression.

The main entrance of the building shows a little receptionist desk and plush chairs to wait in. You advance the desk while noticing behind it are many tables and folding chairs – probably for lunches.

“Hello, how are you?” a nice lady at the desk says.

You wave shakily, “I’m good. I’m here for an interview with Mr. Hecox and Mr. Padilla.”

She seems to find you saying their surnames comical judging by the little smile on her face. But she gestures to the plush armchairs behind you. “Sure, just wait there and I’ll call them.”

You turn around and notice that behind the chairs is a large window showing a large kitchen. The lunch tables and folding chairs makes more sense.

“Thank you,” you say, looking down at the name plate, “Selina.” You sit down and holding your famously large fanny pack in your lap. It gives you something to hold with your fidgeting hands.

Now sitting, you can see the wide windows behind Selina’s desk. There’s a long conference table in there with a television and speakers on a stand. There’s a phone speaker in the middle of the table for any people that are being called in remotely.

Behind the conference table is a little sitting area with a couch and armchair. A couple tables and folding chairs are in the rest of the open space. It’s probably a big room for any meetings with teams or big groups of people.

“(Y/N) Bennett?” someone asks. You jump and stand to see two men coming around the corner.

One is taller with dark, wavy styled hair, a nose ring, and cool tattoos spidering up his neck. He has a great smile and just radiates a natural energy you like.

The other is slightly shorter with brown hair in a classic cut. He has a scruffy beard and black square glasses. He gives very much dad energy with how he’s dressed.

“Yes,” you say rather breathlessly. “I’m (Y/N) Bennett.”

“I’m Anthony,” the taller says, “And this is Ian.”

You shake hands with them, Ian gesturing to the conference room. “We’ll meet in here.”

The three of you walk into the room and take seats around the long table. “It’s nice to meet you,” you say quietly, “Thank you for offering me an interview.”

“For sure,” Anthony says, leaning forward in his chair. Ian sits and immediately starts spinning back and forth. “We saw your portfolio and were really impressed with your work.”

“Thank you,” you say eagerly.

Ian clears his throat, “Could you tell us a little bit about yourself?”

“Well, I’m living here with my boyfriend. I’ve lived here for about two years. Before that I was in Nevada, just outside of Vegas. My family is still there,” you say quietly. “I’ve been a theatre and fine arts student all my life. I’ve been doing community and school productions since second grade. I have experience in both stage acting and in tech behind the scenes.”

“Which do you prefer?” Anthony asks.

You hold onto your fanny pack, “Right now, probably tech. I really enjoy designing costumes and putting characters together. Sometimes I do miss acting though.”

“What do you enjoy about art design?” Ian questions.

You focus on his chair spinning back and forth. “I’m a fan of storytelling. I think one of the greatest talents a person can have is in telling a story, no matter the platform. If I can be a part of that process, I’d enjoy every second. I want to show the story in costumes, hair, and makeup. It’s the most expressive way to describe a person or character.”

“Well said,” Anthony nods. “How would you manage a set when coordinating those things?”

“I would need to see the costume closet to know how to care for it. Organization is key, ensuring you don’t lose any pieces. You’d need a costume rack on set and some essentials, like safety pins, apparel tape, a lint roller, things like that. Makeup vanities will need to be disinfected and cleaned after use, brushes clean and organized. Prosthetics and stage makeup would need to be cared for to make sure we don’t share any germs and possible infections. The same goes for any hair and wig essentials.”

Ian seems a little lost in your explanation, just impressed that you were on top of it. “You have a fine arts degree, is that right?”

You nod, voice still quiet with the nerves. “That’s right. I got a bachelor’s in fine arts at Utah Tech University in St. George, Utah.”

“Is that close to where you’re from in Nevada?” Anthony asks.

You smile, “Yeah, it’s just over an hour away. It has a well known outdoor theatre called the Tuacahn Amphitheatre. I helped with a few tech things during summer shows. And then I acted at the college.”

“What shows did you act in?” Anthony asks further.

You play with your fingers. “We did Footloose, Addams Family, The Drowsy Chaperone, Elf: The Musical, Measure for Measure, and Much Ado About Nothing.”

Anthony whistles, “You did Shakespeare?”

“I love Shakespeare,” you say. “Much Ado About Nothing is my favorite play.”

“You are a major theatre kid,” Ian says, “Why don’t you act anymore?”

You squeeze your fanny pack, “I’ve gotten a little camera shy the last couple years. I prefer helping with quick changes and fixing any mic tape mishaps.”

You take a turn asking some questions about their art department and typical filming schedule. You learn about their expectations for the job and what the salary would be. It was exactly as Spencer had said.

Ian and Anthony share a look with each other before leaning forward. Anthony looks at you kindly, “Would you mind if we conference for a minute? We want to give you an answer today.”

You widen your eyes, “Yeah, of course. Thank you.”

The pair stand and excuse themselves to discuss things outside the room. You’re left in the swivel chair, picking at your fingers and praying that the interview went well. It would be incredible to be given a job that grants you the security and stable income you wanted.

There was a chance to have friends here. Spencer and Angela would be here. You would be storytelling in little comedy sketches. You’d be a part of a team that designed characters. You’d be in charge of ensuring faces weren’t shiny on camera, hair was in place, and clothes looked good.

This could be a home for you.

It takes almost ten minutes for Ian and Anthony to return. They come back with two others that are introduced as Cassie and Erin. They are art director and assistant art director for all productions.

You would be working beneath them should you be offered the position.

More questions are asked by the newcomers, and you find them to be very kind and artistic like yourself. You agree on many fronts, having many things in common. You would be happy to be working in their department.

Ian and Anthony both have smiles on their faces when they say:

“(Y/N), we want to formally offer you the position of assistant art coordinator. Responsible for hair and makeup, and the costumes of the cast. You’ll be our main reference for any special effects makeup and prosthetics. And you’ll help coordinate for all four channels.”

Tears start to form in your eyes. “Really?”

Cassie and Erin had faces full of sympathy. Cassie was covering her face with her hands. Erin was folding their arms and smiling.

Ian was standing their awkwardly, looking at your emotional reaction, but Anthony was quicker to ask. “Is that a yes?”

You laugh tearily, “Yes! Yes, I’d love to take the position. Thank you guys so much. I’m so excited – I don’t know what to say other than thank you.”

They all clap momentarily, Ian announcing, “Then we should call everyone to the lunchroom and make introductions.”

“We’ll have Selina bring up contracts to sign,” Anthony says, gesturing to the door. “You want to follow us?”

You nod enthusiastically, shaking hands with everyone on the way out. There are lots of thank yous and congratulations.

Cassie, Erin, and Ian go to round up cast and crew to the lunch tables you spotted earlier. Anthony goes to speak with Selina at the receptionist desk.

You exit the conference room, wiping tears away and clutching your fanny pack.

Spencer was there, pacing by the plush armchairs you sat in earlier. He has his arms crossed, one hand at his mouth, tracing his lips in a nervous gesture.

At your arrival, his head whips to you, eyes wide at the tears running down your face. He looks so afraid, unsure of how the interview went. But he might’ve misinterpreted your tears.

“(Y/N),” he says softly, “What… what did they say?”

He didn’t even notice the other people gathering at the lunch tables.

You walk towards him, still trying to wipe at your face, “Spence.”

He wants to hug you desperately then. He wants to comfort you. And he wants to hurt whoever decided to make you cry.

You throw your arms around his neck, burying your face there. He holds you back, still at a loss as to what the final verdict was.

“(Y/N)!” you hear Anthony, “Get over here!”

Spencer still holds you as you whisper to him, “I got the job.”

He pulls away and holds your waist, “What?”

“I got the job,” you whisper more excitedly. “They’re about to announce it to everyone.” You flounce away to stand at a counter with a few mini fridges, addressing a group of cast and crew. You notice Angela standing in the crowd.

She gives you two thumbs up and you wave back.

Spencer walks over just as Ian begins to talk.

“Hey, guys! We wanted to introduce our newest member of Smosh. This is (Y/N) Bennett!”

Anthony continues, “She will be working in the art department as an assistant art coordinator. She’ll be our head of character design and management of costumes, hair, and makeup.”

The crowd begins clapping and shouting their congratulations. Spencer joins them, standing next to Angela and a few others.

Unbeknownst to the pair of you, some cast and crew were sharing looks. People you hadn’t met yet were winking at each other. They knew full well how much Spencer wanted you to get this job.

You wave at everyone, “Hello! I’m so excited to meet you all and start working on these projects.”

Everyone breaks apart to introduce themselves.

Angela brings over a number of people, “Hey, (Y/N).” She says, “Here are some of our castmates.”

A tall woman in a beautiful jumpsuit says, “I’m Amanda, welcome to the Smosh family.”

“I’m Shayne,” a fit blonde man shakes your hand, “And this is Courtney.”

“Hi,” a blonde woman then shakes your hand, “It’s nice to meet you.”

Angela sticks her head in, “Those two are married.”

You nod, giggling, “Wonderful.”

“I’m Chanse,” a curly haired man says, giving you a hug, “Welcome to the team.”

A tall man with a great mustache waves, “I’m Tommy!”

“Hi!” you say, “It might take me a while to remember all your names. Thank you for being so welcoming. I’m so excited to start.”

“Spencer’s told us a lot about you,” Amanda says with a cheeky smile.

You look toward Spencer’s rosy face. “All good things, I hope.”

“Oh, definitely,” Shayne laughs, “He has nothing but praise for you.”

Spencer ignores the immediate retort that the single worst thing about you is your boyfriend. “You guys need to calm down.”

“Can we give you a tour?” Amanda asks, taking your arm, “The office has a lot of sets and rooms.”

Courtney appears on your other side, “We can show you the art department and the costumes closet!”

“And the makeup vanities,” Chanse says, already leading the way, “There are a couple by the sets, but there is one in the green room where Angela takes her naps.”

“Hey!” Angela instantly retorts, “Hey, hey, hey… uncalled for!”

Amanda scoffs, “But true.”

Angela snorts, “Yeah, sure.”

You are dragged away by Amanda and Courtney, Chanse and Angela still bickering along the way.

Spencer stays where he is with Shayne. The latter having a very knowing smirk on his face. Spencer ignores him as long as he can.

“Have you ever been told that you shouldn’t make faces because you’ll be stuck that way?”

Shayne chortles, “I’m just curious how you feel about this.”

“Clearly you already have a theory.”

“I do, based purely on the last eleven months of you pining over this girl.”

“I am incapable of pining.”

Shayne wheezes, “Yeah, sure. What do you call bringing up (Y/N) whenever possible, talking through ways to introduce yourself to her, workshopping conversations with me to get to know her…”

“All of those things were in confidence.”

“And all blatant examples of pining over a woman you’ve grown attached to!”

Spencer licks his lips, watching you being dragged by Angela towards the pods of employee desks. “I don’t… I can’t do anything about it now.”

“I’ve never seen you like this, man,” Shayne chortles. “It’s kind of throwing me off right now. You don’t talk about girls much.”

“The dating apps have been seriously lacking the last year.”

“Because you’ve been talking up some chick at the gas station,” Shayne laughs again. “I have to commend you for playing the long game.”

Spencer shakes his head, “I have to be fine with being just friends.”

But that didn’t mean he couldn’t try to be your best friend.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hi mx witch, I’ve been debating whether to send this in for a bit but I am curious what you think. I’ve been going back and forth on the ongoing “can you read at least one singular book by a Black woman” discussion bc there is a thing where especially white readers (I am also white, non american but also somewhere with significant Black diaspora) hold up Black authors as somehow being the pinnacle of diversity and ending the conversation there. I don’t think you are doing this btw but this is the reading comprehension site. I just worry it doesn’t prompt people to think about more general issues of diversity in publishing when E/SE/S Asian authors also get screwed over in the industry (especially Asian women who don’t want to write about being Oppressed by their Traditional Culture) and there are just shamefully few published Indigenous authors from any continent.

HOWEVER. then I see some of the more tar pit responses to your book posts and to the rap discourse (oh my god the rap discourse) and I am like. hmmm maybe we should stay focussed on prompting people to challenge their anti-blackness for a bit when so many people are clearly incapable of the baby step of reading more widely. Much to consider.

📚

ps if you post this and anyone reads it and goes “oh wow this is so right, I guess I don’t need to read books by Black women”: no

pps SORRY for spam if this is a second anon, I asked this morning with dodgy signal and have no idea if it went through or if you are just swamped/don’t want to reply. no pressure.

hi anon,

I think it's a really good and thoughtful question, and I appreciate the good faith engagement with this question a lot! your concern reminds me a lot of something Yaa Gyasi (an author who's come up a lot in discussion about Black women writers!) said in this interview a few years ago:

Representation isn’t enough. It’s not enough to see people as representatives, and not actually engage with what they’re trying to say. I guess I’ve been feeling dispirited about the way that my work gets read, as it allows people to pat themselves on the back and feel like they’ve done something. Is literature enough? That’s frankly the question I’ve been asking this past year. I used to be the kind of person who would say this is making us more empathetic. But I’m not sure anymore if that’s what’s happening. Are you reading, or are you reading? 

and I definitely agree with her, and think that a lot of people have a tendency to reduce authors who aren't white, heterosexual men to tokens whose work they're morally obligated to read to be Good Allies, rather than because the work genuinely speaks to them, entertains them, moves them, challenges them, or does anything else that literature is capable of. it doesn't help that the publishing industry itself has an awful tendency of tokenzing authors, as you alluded to.

this is one of the reasons why I never include spaces pertaining to an author's personal identity on the reading bingo sheets that I design. I know that prompts like "read a book by a Native author" or "read a book by a trans author" and so on are quite popular in many book bingo spaces, but to me they run the risk of tokenizing those authors and make it seem as if it's fine if, for instance, no Native or trans authors are found anywhere else on the sheet, since they have a designated space. which isn't a perfect solution, to be sure - without a specific prompt, it's just as likely that there will be zero authors who are Native or trans or whatever other marginalized identity one can come up with on the bingo sheet. I'll be honest: as much as I love seeing the bingo sheets my followers are filling out, I'm a little stunned and disheartened to see how starkly white many of them are!

in this conversation, where people are being challenged to name even a single author who's a Black woman and coming up short, I think many people, especially hobby readers, are maybe realizing for the first time that they way they read doesn't quite live up to the ideas of equity that they personally hold and they're interested in changing that now. I've received a lot of feedback that does boil down to people excitedly reporting that they're now deliberately rushing to the library to seek out books by Black woman, and I can easily see how, pessimistically, that could be seen as further tokenizing those authors.

as much as I've rolled my eyes at the people who loudly insist that they couldn't possibly know what gender, race, ethnicity, etc, any author is because they only care about the story (with the implication being that knowing anything about the author would somehow cheapen the story - lmao), I do somewhat understand where they're coming from. while colorblindness is certainly not the solution, it would be ideal if nobody had to think much about hitting any kind of quota in regards to their reading habits. and I'm certainly not advocating for anything that strictly structured! but if so many people can't name a single Black woman who's written a book, then we need to acknowledge that there's a reason for that, and that not all authors are being read equally, and that it takes an active effort to course correct something like that.

my hope is that, with time, readers broadening their horizons enough that they don't have to actively seek out Black women authors (or Black authors in general, or Asian authors, or Latine authors, or trans or Muslim or disabled or Jewish authors, or authors translated into English, and so on) because those authors and their works will become a natural part of their literary diet that no single author is a sole representative of any group or perspective and can be appreciated solely on the basis of their craft.

but maybe the first baby step, as you said, has to be googling "Black woman authors." and maybe that's a little tokenizing! but when we're beginning from the rock bottom position of people struggling to name a single Black woman author at all, you have to start somewhere. I'm really glad to see people actually getting excited to do the work, and I hope they don't stop at reading one (1) book by Yaa Gyasi or Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie because a tumblr post made them feel uncomfortable.

I hope that makes sense and is a satisfying answer!

[angstyhikka]

Critical review on Carved and Modeled - Wittebane collaborative album - The Owl House by @a-magpie-in-gravesfield

On the day of the premiere, the four horsemen of the apocalypse (that’s me, @lasymit, @tuumcleander and @levshany) sat down with jokes and banter to watch the hour-long musical album. The project is impressively high-quality for fandom work, and the sheer amount of effort put into it commands respect. There were a few songs we especially liked, which deserve special mention.

A Dark Beginning, depicting the execution of Caleb and Philip’s parents, was dark and atmospheric—the music perfectly matched the tone of the narrative. 

Witch Hunters, a song about hypocrisy, nailed the emotional weight, particularly the lines about how their parents “lost the game” they’re now forced to play. 

I Can Be Your Friend! was also great—it perfectly captured the character’s energy and was dynamic as hell. The concept of Philip meeting the Collector in the in-between realm when he first crosses worlds is genuinely interesting. Too bad their relationship isn’t explored further. 

Curse is absolutely magnificent—from the voice acting to the body horror atmosphere, it’s our favorite track.

Disclaimer

First off, we deeply respect Magpie for their dedication, enthusiasm, and the high-quality merch—clearly the result of painstaking work, with carefully chosen materials and lovingly crafted designs. We also appreciate their attentiveness to every customer and the monumental effort poured into this project!

What follows is serious criticism and our raw reactions. If you’re part of the project, loved the album, and are sensitive to critique, please stop reading here. Otherwise, we’re open to discussion—just keep it civil. We’ve done our best to make this critique constructive and not hurtful (we kept some cursing and CAPS for humor, because otherwise it would be a boring long read). Our goal isn’t to offend but to voice our perspective.

We disagree with Magpie’s interpretation and feel it’s important to say so, especially since this project is massive, gaining traction fast, and some fans are calling it "100% canon" and "better than canon". The fandom’s response has been overwhelmingly positive, likely because this is one of the biggest fan projects of its kind, made with contributions from so many people. Philip’s fans are proud that our fandom can produce something this ambitious.

But in our view, much of this fan-made story contradicts canon or works worse than the original series. Below, we’ll break it down.

Analysis

A Dark Beginning – Tragedy for tragedy’s sake. The music nails the vibe, but the uncle character could’ve been anyone—this song exists solely to hang Caleb and Philip’s parents. This plot point only matters until the second song and then vanishes.

Witch Hunters – The song itself works well as a follow-up to the previous track’s buildup. But despite expectations, the brothers’ conflict with society’s beliefs goes nowhere. Caleb briefly mentions being tired of pretending to be a witch hunter, then it’s dropped. This tension could’ve resurfaced when Philip decides to kill all the witches, but his motivation there is shaky too.

Daydreaming – Caleb dreams of a better life. But it’s unclear what’s weighing him down—everything around him looks rosy, romantic, and peaceful. The lyrics spell out his struggles, but visually, he’s just chilling and daydreaming. We don’t feel his pain.

Distance – Caleb tells Evelyn he wants to leave Philip behind… but also loves him. Why not just take the kid with them? Philip, a literal child with no malice or grudge against Evelyn, watches them sadly from afar. What’s the conflict here?

Struggling Light, Only For A Few Days – No real motivation or tension in Caleb’s decision to abandon Philip. Author tries to parallel Caleb and Luz, but it doesn’t work—Philip is a minor, and Caleb is almost an adult responsible for him. Again, why couldn’t they take Philip with them? Even if Caleb’s tired of parenting, we don’t see any emotional breakdown—just whining. Evelyn supports Caleb but doesn’t push back. She’s just… there.

They could’ve had her egg him on, making Philip resent them both, leading Caleb to make a rash, impulsive choice to leave without Philip. Or shown Caleb blaming Philip for all his problems. But none of that happens, so his motivation falls flat.

The Other Side – Caleb feels zero guilt, which is infuriating. He writes letters he never sends and even smiles while doing it! There’s no explanation for why he can’t return. Maybe the portal couldn’t reopen? Not a word about that. It feels less like he’s chasing a dream and more like he’s just oblivious, acting like a selfish ass with no self-awareness.

Were They Right? – Philip’s suffering again, somehow blaming himself. He’s not allowed to show negative traits. Where’s the betrayal brewing if he never saw the note? Why doesn’t he blame Evelyn? He and Caleb don’t even have one conversation in the whole album—not even before their fight.

Now Philip starts believing the witch hunters were right, that Caleb was enchanted… but nothing leads him to this. He just changes his mind over time. No trigger.

If Philip already thinks Caleb was enchanted, why doesn’t he act on it when they meet? Why not grab him and run? Instead, he kills him. Seems like he realizes Caleb wasn’t enchanted after all but keeps lying to himself. Except the lie’s so weak it doesn’t even convince him, so his real resentment spills out, and he kills Caleb. So is the delusion there or not? If it is, why doesn’t it work? If not, why include it?

If he believes in the enchantment, why not attack Evelyn, the supposed enchanter? If he’s just comforting himself, he could’ve picked a better lie. Why even chase Caleb if he doesn’t believe he was taken by force? Why is he so easily swayed that he kills Caleb on sight?

Cover Up – Over a piece of paper, they’re ready to burn him without trial. The story desperately lacks the systemic oppression that would’ve shaped Philip into who he is. The villagers’ vengeance feels half-baked, but at least the momentum’s engaging.

Finally, we get Philip’s motivation to find his brother.

I Can Be Your Friend! – A high-energy, dynamic song that perfectly fits the Collector’s vibe. Nothing concrete happens—it’s just Philip and the Collector vibing in the in-between. Fun stuff. Too bad the Collector disappears afterward.

Where Is Home? – The first murder feels unearned, and Philip has zero reaction. The description calls it an accident—let it be so���but killing someone point-blank over apples? Really?

WHERE DID THAT DOOR COME FROM SO FAST? WHAT DID HE MAKE IT FROM? DID HE JUST FIND A PORTAL IN THE BUSHES?

Has He Forgotten? – Cavelyn ex machina, resentment with no setup. Philip’s moping again. Earlier, he thought "maybe he was enchanted," now he’s suddenly certain it’s magic and leans into the delusion. The lyrics are too on-the-nose, the tone clashes with the visuals, and the pacing’s off. His motivation needed time to develop—this is a pivotal moment, but it’s rushed.

It feels like Philip just pulls out a knife out of nowhere. The song seems to frame it as a crime of passion, but he’s eerily calm when making the decision. Psychopathy fits Philip, but you can’t have it both ways—here he’s cold and calculating, in the next song he’s rage-fueled and impulsive. Which is it?

Murder – Caleb’s "I’ll always be there for you" rings hollow when he never even tried to return. This ties back to Caleb’s weak motivation—he’s completely oblivious to the consequences of his actions. Screw the note! He should’ve known it wouldn’t explain or justify anything, even if Philip read it.

We can’t tell who Philip’s attacking—Evelyn’s not in frame. If it’s Caleb, WHAT THE HELL IS HE DOING WITH HIS BACK TURNED? Why stab him? Is he angry? Trying to "break the spell"? Maybe the "spell" is a metaphor for his (unshown) resentment.

How did he spiral like this? No buildup except one mention in Were They Right?. Philip seemed to want Caleb back, but then he kills him because… he’s mad? Hurt? A fucking idiot? Does he genuinely believe Caleb was enchanted? The framing’s so vague we’re not even sure if we missed hints or if they just weren’t there.

WHERE THE FUCK WAS EVELYN THIS WHOLE TIME?

The lyrics say "SOUL IS TORN APART," but Philip’s face is stone-cold, like everything’s going according to plan. Delusions need REASONS, CONFLICT—they don’t just pop up. The emotional core is missing. Instead, we get "depression in my mind, misery in my behind", with none of the doubt that should be there after KILLING THE PERSON HE LOVED MOST.

The Door – Why doesn’t Evelyn, knowing where Philip is, try to kill him? Why is HE so calm, thinking logically AFTER MURDERING CALEB—the most traumatic event of his life? WHERE’S THE BREAKDOWN? THE SHOCK? THE DESPAIR? This should’ve shattered him—horror, tilt, depression. He should’ve cycled through grief and gotten stuck on denial, fueling his future canon actions.

This needed its own song because the dissonance between event and reaction is jarring. You could argue psychopathy, but even psychopaths aren’t usually this detached. Even for them, core motivation has to come from somewhere emotional.

There’s so much fanart of Philip losing his mind digging up Caleb’s body, but here he’s just… lonely. Sticking to canon here undermines Philip’s motivation, especially for his future arc. It’s flat. Pathetic. Frustrating.

The audience can’t connect Philip’s emotions to his choices because the initial conflict was undercooked. Now the story doesn’t work. Caleb’s role in Philip’s life feels interchangeable—it could’ve been anyone. This breaks the Grimwalkers’ concept—if he just needed someone, why not make it literally anyone else?

Why does he want to kill all witches? Over Caleb? But he seems to give zero shits about Caleb to dedicate 300 years to this crusade.

Canon Hollow Mind pictures don’t fit the narrative and feel illogical. If you’re using them as a foundation, the story should’ve been different.

What Now? – Evelyn leaves him in her world… WHY??? So he can genocide her people? "Let’s lock the maniac who murdered my child’s father in a room with my entire species"—BRILLIANT plan. Her reasoning—"I won’t let you hurt anyone else"—HOW does hiding the portal stop him, dumbass? Why not execute him publicly?

Philip wants to kill all witches so his people will "forgive" him. How he reached this conclusion is unclear. Is it guilt over Caleb’s death (which we never saw)? Who knows.

Later, he claims he’s "protecting" humanity from witches luring them with magic, like Caleb. COOL. Then why the earlier motivation? Why the contradictions? Is this his delusion or bad storytelling? Since it’s not clear at first glance, it feels like the latter.

He does express doubt—saying he’ll "believe the lie" to avoid pain—which is a great angle, but it’s buried under noise (like Evelyn’s portal door).

And, by the way, why didn’t he kill Evelyn? Their conflict has no resolution. He kills Caleb but ignores her, even though he blames her and all witches for this mess.

He wonders if Caleb was enchanted… but he already killed him over it. This doubt should’ve come before the murder.

So he makes Grimwalkers to "prove" Caleb wouldn’t betray him without magic? And because he’s terrified of forgetting Caleb’s face? But earlier, his motives were different. It’s a mess. Does he want revenge? To "save" Caleb? To protect humanity? Too much for one song—pick a lane.

Grimwalkers – He’s not deluding himself anymore. He knows killing Caleb was wrong. So why keep making Grimwalkers? The song implies he’s addicted, afraid to forget Caleb. But without the delusion, where’s the guilt? Why does he regret killing Caleb but not the Grimwalkers?

Again, Philip’s murders are treated with bizarre indifference—no reason, no emotion, in lyrics or visuals.

This song’s motivation isn’t bad, but it clashes with his inconsistent behavior earlier. The overall message still falters.

CURSE – ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS. NO JOKE. WE’VE BEEN REPLAYING THIS ON LOOP. Best song in the album. The visuals sync perfectly with the music—his madness is on full display. THIS is Philip. Deranged, obsessed, desperate, agonizing under crushing guilt.

It echoes Transformation from Jekyll & Hyde, taking the best elements we’ve always associated with Philip. The whispering sends chills—his torment crawls under your skin. The vocal delivery masterfully conveys his fractured mind, pulling the audience into the horror. Priceless.

Why does it work? Because it’s a self-contained vibe—no narrative, just atmosphere. And the atmosphere is perfect.

The Titan's Will – Just canon events retold Hollow Mind, with no added depth. This song adds nothing. Cut it, and nothing changes.

Mask Of Gold – The lyrics mention "all the lives that were lost," but no kill besides Caleb’s was justified. Even Caleb’s death felt rushed. Philip rarely seems troubled by any of it—we see hints in CURSE (guilt) and Grimwalkers (doubt).

Which "lives" is he mourning? If it’s Caleb and his own, that’d make sense. But he shows no remorse for anyone else. The tragedy falls flat.

The tone doesn’t match what Philip should feel. The lyrics don’t fit the context.

It’d be more effective to show his melancholy creeping through his imperial routine—how, despite his busyness, intrusive thoughts break through his denial.

What we see—him indulging in sadness—would’ve destroyed him over 400 years. If this happened often, he’d be dead. He survives on hatred and denial, especially before the Day of Unity. He’s too busy to sit around staring at a world he despises.

Conclusion

We need to say why this post exists: It hurts to see Philip treated like this. This character means a lot to us—we’ve spent ages analyzing his motives and psyche. Seeing a project that glosses over both claim canonicity is disheartening.

This was meant to "fix" canon (where everything’s bad), but it fails just as hard by clinging to canon while creating new plotholes.

It ignores historical context that should’ve shaped Philip’s trauma and worldview, flattening his character.

There’s not one scene fully dedicated to his emotional pain—the core of his character. No standout moment focusing on his psychological damage—unlike CURSE, which highlights his physical agony and guilt.

We don’t want this project to become the "definitive" fandom interpretation. Canon left gaps in Philip’s backstory and motives, letting fans theorize and adding depth. But this album’s story leaves no room for interpretation. It offers half-baked "solutions" that raise more questions than they answer.

The attempts to patch canon’s holes clash with character motivations, making them shallow and their actions nonsensical. They’re hard to believe.

To understand their motives, we had to rewatch the album ON MUTE because the songs’ moods often clash with the events, distracting from the story. On first watch, we missed key details—there was no emphasis. We thought there was no improvement over canon. The album wants to tell a story, but its structure gets in the way.

We rewatched it twice and wrote this review to dig deeper. We did find some compelling ideas about Philip’s motivation, but it was as exhausting as dissecting the original show.

Magpie, if you’re reading this, we truly hope this critique doesn’t hurt you. Its goal is to offer constructive feedback on character writing. Whether you take it or leave it is entirely up to you.

Thanks for reading.

[thankskenpenders]

Amy's fortune cards

The Sonic fandom has long been the kind of fandom that takes minor details very seriously, for better or worse. On the one hand, this means fans will really dig for the diamonds in the rough, latching onto fun character interactions, animations, bits of background worldbuilding, and more in pieces of Sonic media that many would write off as "the bad ones." But it also feels like every week another needlessly hostile debate over Sonic minutia erupts on Twitter, whether it's over individual lines of dialogue, fanart that makes Tails' shoes blue, or the ideal length and volume for Sonic's quills.

So it was probably inevitable that a fandom-wide debate would erupt upon seeing Amy's new gameplay style in the DLC for Sonic Frontiers, which takes the once-obscure fact that she enjoys reading tarot and shines a spotlight on it like never before.

I mean:

The thing is, while I basically always try to tune out Sonic fandom bickering... for once, I kind of sympathize with the detractors? Don't get me wrong, I like Amy's tarot stuff, and people on all sides of the discussion are being overly nasty about their opinions, as usual. (Sonic Twitter remains my personal hell.) But when I set aside the hyperbole and zoom out, I do think I understand why some fans are put off by the sudden shift in focus for the character, even if I think it's cool.

It's complicated. Let me attempt to present the cases for and against Amy's fortune cards

For years, I was always one of those fans who thought it could be fun if they played with Amy's tarot reading, or even leaned into some kind of magic with her. Part of that is my own biases showing, but there's just something that makes sense there, especially when you look at Sonic, Tails, and Amy as a trio. (I would argue that's the real "Team Sonic" these days, especially in the comics where Knuckles is more likely to be stuck on Angel Island or otherwise doing his own thing.)

You could argue that Tails is all about logic, relying on science and technology and deductive reasoning to solve problems. But Amy is all about emotion. She wears her heart on her sleeve, is extremely empathetic, and is very prone to magical thinking - both figuratively and sometimes literally. Her origin story has always been that her tarot cards told her it was her destiny to meet Sonic on Little Planet. She's claimed to be able to "sense" peoples' presences - particularly Sonic's. She's the type to believe that The Power of Love is a literal magical force. So, on some level, it makes sense to mirror Tails's science by having Sonic's other best friend believe in magic. And then Sonic is somewhere in the middle, primarily following his own gut instincts but taking advice from both of them as needed. This isn't totally accurate to how their dynamics actually function in canon stories, but I think it's a mode that could work for them.

Going off of that, it's fun to lean all the way into Amy being a magical girl, or even a witch, using her fortune telling as a foundation. Take, for example, this version of Amy from Diana Skelly's old Sonic cast redesigns from before she freelanced for Archie and IDW. This is one of MANY such redesigns for Amy.

Fast forward to the 2020s, and Amy's tarot cards are, in fact, finally getting brought up again in canon. Which is fun! I like seeing that. I like all of the individual stories involving Amy's fortune cards. This is a fun character trait for Amy, a fun nod to old lore, AND a fun storytelling device, all in one. It's really cool that the Sonic universe has its own thematically appropriate arcana, and that the cards are getting made as physical merch. And sure enough, the official card backs and borders were designed by none other than Diana Skelly, in yet another cool example of an ascendant fan leaving their mark on the series.

BUT... when you step back and look at the big picture, I get why some fans find this shift in focus jarring. At the moment, it's starting to feel like every new story about Amy involves her fortune cards to some degree.

The most recent mainline comic arc to feature Amy as the lead character, 2021's Trial by Fire arc, prominently features a sequence where she reads fortunes while camping with the girls. The Origins version of Sonic CD now bookends the game with scenes of Amy and her tarot cards. Sonic randomly mentioned it in a scene in Frontiers. And now, just this week, we got the (very cute, gorgeously illustrated) Amy's 30th Anniversary comic with a story revolving around Amy's tarot cards, followed the very next day by the Frontiers DLC in which she gets a brand new tarot-based moveset. Even her base melee attack now has her throwing tarot cards instead of swinging her hammer. Again, I like all of these individual things, but after years of it almost never coming up at all, it's VERY noticeable that Amy's tarot cards are suddenly everywhere.

To be fair, I'm looking at this from the perspective of a superfan who's actively following ALL Sonic media. Casual fans - especially kids - aren't necessarily going to be reading the comics every month, buying the thousandth rerelease of the Genesis games, or playing the ultra-hard new alternate ending DLC for a game that came out last year. Each of these stories is going to be someone's introduction to the idea that Amy can read tarot, and that's probably part of the idea behind this unified push.

But to play devil's advocate, for my fellow superfans, I understand why it feels like a very minor footnote of Amy's character is suddenly becoming the entire focus of her personality. While Amy has always been said to enjoy fortune telling, that wasn't really a character trait in and of itself, but rather an example of her being a typical girl who hopes she'll be able to find true love one day. It's less that Amy can literally predict the future and more like her using a cootie catcher or going "he loves me, he loves me not" while picking the petals off of a flower. So I get not vibing with this stuff, or feeling like it's being pushed very hard out of nowhere.

What I don't agree with are comparisons like "it's like if they made Knuckles' moveset revolve around him liking grapes." Like, I get it. Ian Flynn loves shoehorning in his little winking references for us nerds, and mentions of Amy's tarot cards were previously on the same level as other random bullet points from old Japanese manuals. But a multifaceted hobby like fortune telling that opens up so many narrative and aesthetic possibilities is obviously very different from having a favorite food. It's ALWAYS been a part of her story, not just a random fact, and there's no reason why the fortune telling can't be elevated to something more.

And, hell, even if it wasn't an established character trait, there's nothing inherently wrong with injecting new ideas into a character. One of the best Amy stories in recent years, the Free Comic Book Day special "Amy's New Hobby" written by Gale Galligan, came up with the idea that Amy's secretly been drawing little comics about her and her friends. Is this based on Lore? No. But it's cute, and helps tell the story of a younger Amy who's still coming out of her shell as both a hero and a friend.

Certain fans are also looking at Amy's Frontiers moveset and using it as evidence that once again the Vile American Contributors like Ian are CORRUPTING Sonic Team's perfect vision of Sonic with their misinterpretations. And like. Come on. Ian does not control the gameplay. He's a freelance writer. The tarot stuff is clearly something that Sonic Team likes if they made it the basis of Amy's new moveset - and, you know, if they keep approving comics and animations about Amy's fortune telling. None of this gets made without their blessing, and lord knows how much they can micromanage shit and shoot down ideas over the most minor of details.

Like, yeah, Amy's fortune telling was probably conceived less as a sign that she Knows Magic and more as a pretty mundane hobby for a lovesick young Japanese girl to have. But you're gonna sit there and tell me that using Amy's tarot cards for more than that could only be the result of a cultural misunderstanding? That nobody in Japan uses tarot card theming and aesthetics (or the general idea of magical cards) for the cool factor? Stardust Crusaders? Persona? The Astrologian class in FFXIV? Cardcaptor Sakura?? Hello??? Do you think Capcom put Gambit in Marvel vs. Capcom ironically because they thought using magic to throw cards at people was stupid? There's tons of precedent for this! It's nothing like Knuckles throwing grapes at people, be for real.

Giving Amy a very magical girl-esque moveset also just makes a lot of sense. For decades her hammer attacks have literally made sparkly heart shapes appear around her. Leaning into both that and her tarot cards in her new moveset makes a lot of sense to me.

But, admittedly... I do think it's very odd that her hammer is treated as a secondary element here, rather than having her primarily use her hammer and adding the cards for extra flair. If hitting the attack button made her swing her hammer instead of throwing cards, I'm not sure we'd even be having this discussion right now.

But the tarot-cycle and Amy riding her hammer like a witch's broom are fucking SICK and I will not concede on this point

The thing is, this whole fortune card discourse is but a small piece of a bigger problem. Amy's been a character who needed some work for ages, but there's basically nothing you can do with her without pissing SOMEONE off.

Years of stories where Amy's crush was her primary motivator and Sonic went "Ew, cooties!" have lead many casual fans to believe that being Sonic's obsessive fangirl is Amy's entire personality. At best people might call her Sonic's Minnie Mouse. This isn't just a matter of Amy having haters within the fandom - venture outside of that bubble and you'll realize that this is how MOST video game playing people seem to see her to this day. I don't feel like this is a fair assessment of the character, but this idea didn't come from nowhere. No matter how much good deeply entrenched Sonic fans may see in their old dynamic where Amy perpetually chases Sonic, this is a very real problem that Sonic Team has to contend with for their leading girl. Of course all those games where the way-past-cool protagonist thought Amy was annoyingly clingy and tried to get away from her made people think less of her.

If new stories were to go back to emphasizing Amy's crush on Sonic a little more, they'd probably be taken as confirmation that Amy's just the girl with a crush on Sonic and that this is her entire personality. Conversely, when the crush is played down, you piss off the hardcore SonAmy fans who don't seem to understand that they're Charlie Brown and Sega is Lucy holding the football. You can't win.

And so here we are. In the absence of what was once her defining trait, now reduced to an occasional blush or wink in Sonic's direction, new stories are trying to mine Amy's past for additional material to work with. Having been a thing fans wanted to see for years, right now we're getting a lot of tarot, but we're also getting reminders of her compassionate nature and her desire to go out of her way to help the little guy. This is an ongoing process. I continue to hope that her bubbly, exuberant demeanor can shine more in future stories. Now, I also hope that the tarot stuff gets balanced out a little better with other traits of hers. But I don't want it to go away. I think it's fun.

This course correcting is far from exclusive to Amy. Knuckles is getting stories that remind us that he's a competent fighter, an experienced treasure hunter, and even a self-taught archaeologist after years of him being perceived as either the dumb one or just the guy who stands in front of the Master Emerald all day. And Tails has been getting some stories reminding folks that he's a capable hero in his own right and not just Sonic's timid kid sidekick.

But no supporting character will ever compete with the sheer number of new ideas Sega has tried with Sonic himself. Like Amy, his Frontiers moveset has also given him half a dozen new superpowers that he never had before, from the Cyloop to air-slicing projectile attacks to his own take on Shadow Clone Jutsu and beyond. He's also been a hoverboarder, a swordsman, a time traveler, an Olympic athlete, a racecar driver, cursed with a Flame of Judgment, imbued with alien power, a fucking Werehog with stretchy powers, and on and on and on.

If Sonic can do all that, Amy can try out using a tarot-cycle.

Anyway TL;DR the REAL problem with Amy's current characterization... is where the FUCK is Amy's bestie, Honey the Cat???????

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

What kind of outfit do you think Miss Raven will wear to the Coral Sea's Eternity Float event? Will she wear a pink outfit given to her by her mother-in-law? And what about her reaction to receiving an outfit, a pink dress? Based on what Floyd said about her?

I actually designed a Shore's Celebration outfit for Miss Raven a few weeks earlier (just because I was so excited for Eternity Float)! This was, of course, before the event came out and the dialogue specified that Georgina prepared outfits for everyone based on Floyd’s nicknames for them.

Yuu is given an outfit with pink accessories since Floyd calls them Shrimpy! So Yuusonas and any characters in their position would be canonically with oink accessories. Miss Raven’s not a Yuusona or meant to take that role though (she’s not a shrimp!), so I don’t necessarily see her in pink.

Here’s an earlier version/sketch of her Shore’s Celebration outfit though?? I never colored it in, but you can project pink if you want since I did base it on Ariel’s pink dinner dress.

Most of the smaller details—like the seashell locket—take inspiration from an idol anime (Mermaid Melody: Pitchi Pitchi Pitch) one of my cousins showed me! I thought it might be fun to combined elements of the pink mermaid princess, Lucia, with elements of Ariel.

Floyd’s nickname for Miss Raven is “Black Pearly” (which I know isn’t a sea creature, but this is intentional and meant to indicate that she feels she is an “out of place” character in the cast). I did whip up an alternate Shore’s Celebration outfit that fits the nickname better.

For this one, I based it on Ariel’s silver dress—especially how it forms a train that drags behind her on the water’s surface as she steps out. I also considered many of Halle Bailey’s gowns worn for promotion of The Little Mermaid live action. The overall shape of the dress, especially how the top opens, is meant to represent an oyster, from which a pearl is birthed.

I think I still like what I ended up with as the final design the best, even if it ended up not going along with how the game determined the looks. I’ll write my own version of canon in which Floyd describes Miss Raven’s as someone who’s always “getting tangled up in trouble” and “trying to pass as a fancy lady” to explain her outfit! That might be why she has the rope elements or has a dress that resembles the one the Sea Witch wore when she went to land and a human immediately fell in love with her. It’d also fit in with the idea of Miss Raven being a little “out of place” since she’d technically be the only one on the group with an outfit not explicitly inspired by Floyd’s nickname for her. She always becomes an outlier or off-kilter one way or another…

Miss Raven would react a little differently based on what clothing she receives… The pink dress she’d say reminds her of a fairy tale princess. “Just for a day, I can pretend to be one!” The silver dress is a little daring—“I-Is it really okay to wear such a thing…?” And I think she’d be flattered about the final dress. After all, it’s emulating one of the Sea Witch’s iconic looks! “Th-Thank you, ma’am!! I will wear this with dignity so as to not sully her good name.”

No matter which dress it winds up being, she’d be nervous padding around in it because the outfit seems so expensive, especially with all the pearls and delicate seashells!! Miss Raven’s also not used to walking in anything that’s not flats (she unfortunately is stuck with heels or wedges) 💦

“Fufufu. Well, isn’t she a sweet little thing.” Georgina actually purposefully picked these shoes so she could watch the girl struggle/j chuckles and then suggests that she lean on J word someone for support until she can find firmer footing. “Be a gentleman and lend her your arm,” she tuts.

Edit: I saw this post and thought the pearls and the colors made the dress look like another potential Shore’s Celebration outfit for Miss Raven! The neckline and sleeves look like Halle Bailey’s in-film blue dress. The way the top shirt scallops over the bottom also reminds me of a scalloped seashell 🐚 ahdbasdibasd So I made some alterations and doodled this variant too!

[annagaw]

the medical significance of Draco Malfoy Holding A Baby™: a micro-trope reading list

I am at a very particular point in my hormonal cycle and god damn it once again I have been asking the sub to rescue me in my time of need. It is at present biologically necessary for me to absorb content featuring Draco Malfoy Holding A Baby™.

In case anybody else suffers from the same health condition (called "having a uterus and dipping one toe into my 30s" - it is extremely serious and requires constant intervention), please allow me to share the fics that I have so far read and awarded this tag. I shall endeavour to update the list as I add to it.

For science, you understand.

NB: I have hidden fics for which baby content might be considered spoilers, but have not done so for fics in which the primary focus is pregnancy/childbirth. If you find the appearance of a baby at the end of your HEA pregnancy fic shocking, fair enough, but I refuse to hide the truth from you. Also there are a great many more wonderful fics that feature this trope than the ones on this list - this is merely a curated selection and not my definitive statement on which are Good.

-

Two Idiots and a Baby by ellemenno (M, 27k) - One could be forgiven for thinking that the sole motivation for writing this fic was to find an excuse to get Draco and that baby in the same room and let the magic happen - because my god does the magic happen! But ellemenno has the audacity to deliver it to us with as much style and humour as possible. The fact that this baby situation is occurring within a genuinely intriguing murder mystery and a hilarious idiots-in-denial, colleagues-in-love plot (reminiscent of Bad Omens and Scary Partner Privilege) is especially impressive. It contains another favourite micro-trope of mine: the Very Professional Business Sleepover.

Love and Other Historical Accidents by PacificRimbaud (M, 154k) - I know for a fact that this fic was the beginning of this particular fixation for me. It was one of the first fics I read when I discovered Dramione, and it lured me in by my need for regency romance, keeping me all distracted, before slapping me in the face with this perfect baby scene that I still think about constantly. Draco? Draco Malfoy? Having a one-sided conversation with a baby while staring out a window in a regency suit? Fetch the smelling salts, drag the bloody fainting couch over here, I am destined to swoon!

Cave, [Redacted] (E, 31k) / An Auror’s Guide to Horizontal Dueling (E, 16k) by Accio_Funky_Pants - Now, if Draco Malfoy merely holding a baby does funny things to your reproductive organs, let me tell you, you are not even ready for Draco Malfoy delivering a baby! (Hermione's baby, to be exact.) I used to struggle to read childbirth scenes, but the first fic is multiple chapters of...well, exactly that, and it is magnificent. Intimate, cathartic, warms every last cockle of your heart - truly not a cold cockle nor a dry eye left in the house (and no babies left in wombs either). The sequel fic is an extended epilogue in which, yes, you guessed it, Draco interacts yet again with a baby (and then gets laid after everyone demonstrates an extremely thorough understanding of consent). Good for him!

Witching Hour by neilistic (E, 12k) - This one is so overwhelmingly tender, I skimmed it a moment ago to make sure I remembered the plot and that alone nearly succeeded in wringing tears from me. Nice try, neilistic! (No, really, a masterful effort.) There's nothing like two people bonding over their trauma, their loneliness...but (gently) toss some tiny newborn babies into the mix? A dirty trick, designed to undo me, specifically. Ungentlemanly. (But neither half of Dramione have the energy here to be gentlemen. Oh, and did I mention? There's only one bed.)

The Phoenix Potion by FedonCiadale (T, 237k) - The whole cast of OC Granger-Malfoy offspring in this are completely charming. They're all distinct from each other, kind of weirdos in their own way, and I respect the hell out of it - they really do feel like the children of this particular iteration of Dramione. Hermione works a lot, Draco is a very hands-on father, and everything about their dynamic here feels so lived-in and safe, even when the rest of the world is not: their inside jokes and shorthand, their domestic routines, the way their kids make fun of them, all of it! And then there's just copious amounts of Draco handling babies. I rest my case.

epiphanies by HawthorneWhisperer (M, 31k) - single dad Draco gets a lot of page time in this fandom, and deservedly so. Yes, he is a father, but - more importantly - he is Daddy, and this fic wants you to know that it knows that. It is a perfect bite-sized distillation of everything enjoyable about this trope. Special shout-out to baby Scorpius' chubby little limbs, the real MVPs.

Mind the Bump by Soap1 (E, 84k) - There are an overwhelming amount of unplanned pregnancy fics out there - and believe me that could not be further from a complaint (for you see I need my delicious trope soups, their fertile broths sustain me) (I do hate that I typed that). This one has every ingredient necessary for a balanced diet - lots of lovely gentle caretaking and medically-enforced proximity, small bite-size pieces of drama to keep things a little spicy (please, soup metaphor, let me die). Oh! And...what's this? I won't name names, but did two people bring along all of their emotional baggage from their previous relationships with them? Well, I suppose we have room to store it all somewhere in the Manor.

Pros and Cons by ChaosAndCrumpets (E, 48k) - An unplanned pregnancy fic where everything happens in the run up to an election, a famously relaxing time, especially when you are the present M-oh-M! This fic gives you a political strategist Draco of such dazzling competence that it begs the question: is Draco holding a baby merely a matter of perspective? Perhaps anyone held by such a man is rendered a baby in comparison? But don't worry there's a literal baby too (eventually), and before that there's a disgusting slimy baby-man: Cormac McLaggen! (Though, unlike a baby, McLaggen is never held by anyone willingly, or Draco ever.)

The Pureblood Society of Stay-At-Home Dads by PurpleSugarQuills (E, 2k) - I feel like all the information you really need about this one can be contained in one exceptionally powerful sentence: it begins with Draco getting up to do the night feed with a sleepy little four month old. Hush, little one. Domesticated Draco has come to take care of you. Daddy's home. (Which makes sense because he works here.)

Wait And Hope (M, 95k) / Beginning and End (E, 242k) by mightbewriting - Although I do of course love Draco interacting with his own homemade organic babies, my actual favourite iteration of this trope is the moment that Hermione sees Draco with literally any generic brand baby for the first time, and is like, "oh. I see. I had not considered this. I did not know this would feel this way." And that is captured so very beautifully in both of these fics, at different moments, in different ways (and literally remarked upon by Ginny in the former).

Entries below the break contain mild to moderate spoilers

BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC by WhatMurdah (E, 195k) - You would think that the ceaseless emotional and literal carnage of this fic would prepare me for how unhinged Draco would be as a father and how much it would Affect Me Personally. Alas, apparently fucking not. Draco striding into the pub with his baby that nobody else is allowed to hold? Draco napping with his baby? Don't touch that baby! That baby is His Baby. (And that Draco is My Blorbo.)

I Love You Always Forever by EvergreenTuesdays (E, 13k) - This is a somewhat unhinged addition to the list, because yes, that is a baby Draco has in one arm, but in the other hand I'm pretty sure I'm clocking the remains of a dead dove. Distinctly un-chic. Yet undoubtedly compelling. This one has forced marriage, domestic abuse, murder, gore, a gorgeous (but graphic) illustration...and is also tagged "MILF Hermione". So something for everyone, really!

[stcandjsabmemes]

COOKIE RUN KINGDOM FAN THEORY INCOMING!!!

So, you know Black Forest Cookie, right? How she's so obsessed with the witches? Well, the one she's always devoted to may be us, the players. Look at one of her lines.

(Yes, that is the flag of Finland she's standing on, because I'm also a Geography person too.)

She says "All this... is Their design", possibly referring to our own kingdom. I know this because she always refers to her future spouse with they/them/their pronouns, the 3rd person singular kind (yes, I'm also a linguist, so I use those terms too.), inferring that the devs know that people of all genders play Cookie Run Kingdom. Not to mention that the one she's obsessed with is a literal higher being, at least to the cookies, so I guess we, the players, are also one of those higher beings to them?

Still, this changes so many things about the game's lore, especially in regards to the St. Pastry Order, of which Black Forest Cookie is a part of.

[benito-flakes]

The regressive nature of sysmedicalism in regard to trauma survivors

Sysmedicalism is usually attributed to being directed towards endogenic systems in particular, but what happens when those beliefs are turned against the groups they wish to protect? Where does the line get drawn between the seemingly noble desire to stop misinformation and the outright witch-hunting of systems online? 

As a system who has relabeled their identity after years of self-discovery, I have engaged with sysmed rhetoric from the side of an endogenic system as well as from that of a traumagenic one. Unfortunately, I continue to find myself negatively impacted by its effects even now. Despite being the very thing that would be recognized affirmatively in the eyes of a sysmed, I worry I still am not good enough. 

This feeling of personal inadequacy is mixed with a sense of fear, a sinking dread of never fitting a diagnostic mold that will validate me in the eyes of my traumagenic peers. I have no reason to feel this way; I have a trauma history beginning in childhood and my therapist has affirmed the existence of both my system and the individual identities within. I have rushed after a CDD diagnosis to assuage my own fears when my treatment without one has yielded positive results regardless. 

Why do I continue to feel this way? A large part of it is how online communities handle system origins. I find that in attempting to protect traumagenic and/or disordered systems, the medicalized plural community has inadvertently left scars on their own members. When encountering the level of vitriol often directed at non-traumagenic, “non-valid” system types it becomes very easy to develop a mindset of fear. 

Sysmed rhetoric is inherently exclusionary. It promotes dichotomies fundamentally designed to separate: 

Individuals as “valid” vs “invalid” Experiences as objective truths vs experiences as subjective realities “Them” vs “us”  The truth, of course, is that individual experiences are widely variable even within a clinical environment. Diagnostic criteria serve as guidelines but cannot hope to fully encompass the range of structures that function within it.

The hyperfocus on these comparisons is of course problematic, but it is especially so in a community full of traumatized individuals. Knowing that you will be turned on for not fitting a mold, feeling a growing anxiety at presenting yourself in an inoffensive manner, never speaking, behaving, or acting out of line. The need to fawn and placate for fear of harassment and abuse is a perpetuation of trauma cycles that many of us have experienced firsthand. More drastic results of sysmedicalism–fake-claiming and targeted harassment–come from a place of pain; a need to exert control over perceived threats real or imaginary. 

We silence because we have been silenced. 

We tell others they are not good enough because we have been made to feel not good enough.

We hurt because we have been hurt. 

It is not my goal to attack or condemn others for feeling their feelings. What is my goal, however, is to invite plurals to approach one another more compassionately. Viewing my therapy process as personalized to my lived experiences has been incredibly healing when engaging with spaces that often push one-sided viewpoints. Trauma healing and mental health treatment is an individual, tailored process, and that is what we traumagenic plurals should be emphasizing. 

[silvermoon424]

Eternal Erina

Left by @chommission, right by @linyu3u

An anon innocently asked me to talk about my OC Erina's final form, Eternal Erina. Unfortunately, it's impossible to actually explain her deal without also explaining the story of my story/paracosm. Which is, uh, LONG AND COMPLICATED.

For anyone who doesn't want to read the massive incoming infodump, the main plot of my story/paracosm revolves around Erina and her journey from a frightened, troubled child into the savior of her people (mages, aka magical girls and magical boys). That involves becoming a goddess, a concept, and a universal force. So like Ultimate Madoka, basically. If the design didn’t tip you off, my story is HEAVILY inspired by PMMM, lol. 

The details are hidden under this Read More. If you end up reading it, I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts!!

Order and Chaos

So basically, magic and life (especially sapient life) is governed by the Rule of Cycles, a mostly benevolent being/law of nature. It is opposed by Chaos, who governs black/chaos magic but cannot create true life, only shadows of itself or People of the Cycle that have been corrupted. Chaos hates RoC because it's envious of RoC's creativity and ability to create life, not to mention that Chaos used to be a part of RoC at the beginning of the universe and wants to once again be one with everything. 

Mages have existed for billions of years, all across the universe. Where there is sapient life, there is magic. Mages are born when they resonate with the Rule of Cycles and are granted a wish/miracle. But if they fall into despair or fail to replenish their magic they will become Wraiths, beings of Chaos (again, like magical girls and Witches from PMMM).

Also, if you couldn't tell by the names, the Rule of Cycles and Chaos are basically Order vs Chaos personified. This is inspired by the Stars arc of Sailor Moon and the ultimate villain Chaos.

Also, RoC and Chaos can't fight directly without damaging the fabric of the universe and/or causing mass destruction, so they manipulate beings and create proxies to fight a proxy war. Erina, my main OC, is the RoC's chosen champion and can tap into it directly. Chaos doesn't have a champion (yet) and mostly just sends out powerful extensions of itself, although it does also have corrupted People of the Cycle at its beck and call.

Also, in my paracosm, the RoC was created by an even greater being that created the multiverse who's since basically fucked off and doesn't intervene at all. Soon after the creation of the universe, billions of years ago, Chaos split off from the RoC and they've opposed each other ever since.

The Philosophy of the Cycle and Unnecessary Suffering

However, even though the Rule of Cycles and Chaos are opposed, they are inextricably bound together. Just like as the darkness needs the light to create shadows, the light also needs the darkness to shine more brightly. 

In other words, without evil, we couldn’t truly comprehend good. Without sorrow in the world, there would be no compassion. If we never lost anything, we would never truly appreciate what we have. And so on. The Philosophy of the Cycle- the path that mages spend years walking- is making peace with the fact that sorrow/evil/suffering will not only always exist, but is in fact vital to the very foundation of the universe. 

With all that said, even though suffering and sorrow are inevitable, we must try to diminish it in any way we can. Making peace with the foundations of the universe does not mean totally accepting it the way it is and sitting by passively while bad things happen. Because not all suffering-or even most suffering, one could argue- is inevitable. A lot of suffering is due to unjust systems, systems that need to be torn down and replaced with something better. 

You know, unjust systems like the current mage system.

In my story, being a mage isn’t an immediate death sentence like in PMMM; many mages go on to live full adult lives. However, the death/corruption rate is still around 1/3 to 1/2 of all mages. So even if you don’t succumb to Chaos yourself, you are essentially guaranteed to know and love someone who will or already has.  

I haven’t sat down and figured out how the mage-Wraith system came about; all I know is that it wasn’t always there and is the result of  tampering. It’s been in place so long that there are only a scant few records talking about the before times, but there is evidence it didn’t always exist.

Also, Wraiths aren’t the only Chaos Beings around; mages also fight Demons. Unlike Wraiths, they are mere extensions and creations of Chaos and did not used to be sapient. There are enough Demons around to support the mage population’s need for purification, once again proving that Wraiths are unnecessary and cruel.  

 Some cycles need to be broken. Enter Daenerys.

The Oracle

Daenerys aka Dany (yes, named after that Daenerys!) comes from a noble family of oracles who once reigned as the monarchs of a country of mages before it was destroyed. Dany is the most talented far-seer ever born and, after seeing a vision of Erina as a goddess whose ascension broke the cycle that turns mages into monsters, has dedicated her life to ensuring that future becomes reality. Even the wish that turned her into a magical girl was in service of her goals: she wished to be the fount from which a true hero would be born.

(idk where else to put this, but another major plotline of my story is a government conspiracy. Countless children with psychic powers and/or the potential to become mages were kidnapped and raised in a top-secret research facility. Dany was one of the first victims of this program due to precognition being a very rare ability. Dany (not a mage yet) was deep in despair when she had her vision about Erina. It gave her a reason to live and keep going, which is why she’s so dedicated to Erina and her mission)

Twisting and weaving the threads of fate, Dany carefully manipulates things to ensure the future she saw. She does whatever she can to add onto Erina’s karma (which, like in PMMM, determines how powerful a mage is). Dany also became a mage years before Erina, so a lot of this happened when Erina was still completely ignorant of what fate had in store for her.

Erina’s Entrance

I truly cannot give as much background as I want on Erina herself because this is so fucking long already lol, but I’ll give the main points of her background:

Her mother died about a year after giving birth to her, and she was then raised by her grandmother until she was 5. After her grandmother suddenly died, she was put into the foster care system.

The main story starts when Erina is 12. I’m literally not even gonna try explaining all that goes on lol, but the important thing is that she comes under the care of a young man named Eric who becomes her adoptive father.

Again, due to reasons I won’t get into now, Erina was nearly driven to suicide due to despair (she has C-PTSD and was at a point where she thought the future was bleak). The love and care Eric showed her gave her hope and made her want to keep going, and she is left with the strong desire to inspire hope in others the way he did in her.

Flash forward a bit and Erina becomes a magical girl, using her wish to save Eric’s life in a dangerous situation. She immediately and wholeheartedly embraces her role as a magical girl, seeing it as a way to help others and inspire hope like she so dearly wants to.

Erina finds herself in a found family with fellow mages Luna, Rhae, Iris, and Flora (the other main OCs of my story). She also formally meets Dany and becomes close with her. She also becomes friends with lots of other people (including many mages) and has a lot of fun experiences.

Doppelgangers: The Other “Me”

It’s soon revealed that Erina’s magic has created a purifying barrier around the city she and her friends live in; instead of becoming Wraiths, mages who exhaust their magic will instead summon Doppelgangers (YES I LOVE MAGIA RECORD AND IT’S OBVIOUS). I’ll try to explain the Doppelgangers and their relationship to the overall lore:

Doppelgangers are actually symbiotic organisms from another dimension that attach onto the souls of sapient beings because they themselves lack souls as well as self-awareness and consciousnesses (although they do have intelligence).

Doppelgangers are normally benign, but they respond to their hosts' emotions and can turn into Wraiths if overcome with despair. Again, this did not always used to be the case. It’s implied that Erina’s magic is shielding the city from the effects of Chaos, and therefore Doppelgangers cannot be corrupted.

All People of the Cycle (intelligent life) have Doppelgangers, but only mages have the power to manifest them in our dimension.

Doppelgangers are also manifestations of the host's soul. As such, the host might be self-conscious of their Doppelgangers or outright reject it if they don't like what they see. In turn, the Doppelganger might keep trying to force its user to confront their own demons or flaws in an attempt to help them (basically, sometimes a Doppelganger can be a really intense therapy session lol). 

A Doppelganger is a reflection of its user, and accepting one's Doppel is an act of self-love and self-acceptance. Doppelgangers themselves LOVE their hosts and are unquestioningly loyal to them. However, more than the host’s words, the Doppelganger obeys their heart.

If the host rejects their Doppelganger, the Doppelganger will still come out in the automatic purification field. The mage just won't be able to control it. Outside of the city, they'll turn into a Wraith unless they come to terms with the Doppel and are able to summon it. 

Dany hopes to expand the purification barrier across the entire universe. She plans on doing this by having Erina resonate with the Rule of Cycles once again and be granted a second wish.

The vast majority of mages are only given one miracle. However, mages who have accumulated exceptional amounts of karma and are judged to be worthy are capable of being granted a second wish. This is why Dany has been working so hard to build up Erina’s karma. To help her with this goal, Dany creates a group called the Weavers of Fate.

Oh... It’s a Cult

Yep, the Weavers of Fate are pretty much a mage-based cult based on their belief in Dany’s visions and Erina’s future as a goddess. But can you blame them for latching onto hope when their fate is so dicey? Dozens (and later thousands) of mages work to assist Dany in her goals.

The Weavers of Fate embrace and revere Erina as their messiah, sometimes making her uncomfortable because she just wants to live a normal life with her loved ones. But as the story goes on, Erina becomes more and more convinced that she needs to embrace the role if it means saving her fellow mages.

Side note: at a certain point in the timeline, the existence of mages becomes public knowledge. There’s a lot of sociopolitical drama that I won’t get into here.

Dany’s Changing Priorities

A few years into the timeline (after a LOT of things happen that aren’t relevant to this writeup), Erina shockingly and unexpectedly dies in a climatic battle against Chaos. Dany is utterly devastated and, in her grief, resonates with the Rule of Cycles and makes a second wish (by this point, Dany has wracked up TONS of karma herself). She wishes for a chance to redo things, and is given the ability to go back in time. She can only go back in time at the static rate of a few months, but this gives her enough time to plan ahead for the climatic battle.

Well, long story short, Dany goes through several time loops, failing each one, and gets more and more traumatized each time. Yes, she’s literally Homura but better off in a few ways. Anyway, Dany learns that Erina’s ascension to godhood is not guaranteed; with the more karma she accumulates, she is more and more likely to become a Wraith. And not just any Wraith, a Wraith that could easily destroy the entire world (and later, even the galaxy).

After years of single-mindedly pursuing her goal, Dany decides that all she wants to do now is protect Erina and her other friends. She’s done with being a pawn for cosmic forces greater than her. She feels immense guilt for putting Erina on a pedestal and putting her through all this, as she now deeply loves and cherishes Erina as a friend... or maybe something more than a friend.

Except oops, she’s already done so much at this point that she’s completely screwed over the chances of them all having a normal life. With every reset, things just get worse. But she refuses to give up, continuing to hold out hope even in the face of overwhelming odds.

How It All Ends

Dany finally reveals everything to Erina, expressing her regret and asking for Erina’s forgiveness. Erina says there’s nothing to forgive, as she wouldn’t change the life she’s lived and the experiences she’s had for anything.

The climatic final battle begins. Wraiths from all over the world descend on the city where the story takes place, overriding the purification barrier and causing mass death and havoc. Erina is forced to sit it out due to the dangers of her dying or becoming a world-destroying Wraith, like Dany has seen happen so many times. A lot of the main characters die fighting, and Erina is left devastated.

Despite all that, Erina affirms her belief in hope and her desire to give it to mages- her people. The way she sees it, mages are being punished for believing in hope and wanting a better life, and that is unacceptable. She remembers a dear friend who became a Wraith, along with all of the other people she’s known and cared about who suffered the same fate.

She knows what she has to do.

She has an emotional conversation with Eric, her adoptive father, and thanks him for setting her down this road. Despite his pain and reluctance to let her go, he gives her his blessing. Erina says goodbye to her remaining friends and loved ones, thanking them for showing her how beautiful the world is. There are a lot of awful, terrible things in the world, but the good things it has to offer are enough to make it worth fighting for. Erina knows this better than anyone.

Resonating with the Rule of Cycles once more, Erina makes her second wish: To have the power to grant the promise of “tomorrow” to mages. She ascends to godhood, and the purification barrier becomes a universal law of nature (much like Ultimate Madoka). Unlike Madoka, however, everyone remembers Erina and knows about her sacrifice.

Time restructures itself, and because the Wraiths that killed everyone no longer exist, the people who died in the final battle are resurrected. Erina’s friends and family- ESPECIALLY Dany, who is absolutely guilt-ridden- deeply mourn her loss, but vow to keep protecting the world she loved and cared so much about.

🩷 The End 🩷

I Lied, There’s More

Okay, so that’s the ending of the main paracosm. However, there’s a sequel! I have not spent nearly as much time on this as the main story so a lot is very sketchy. I’m just gonna list out my main ideas:

A little while after the ending of the main story, an alien union/federation/whatever makes first contact with Earth; they were also saved by Erina's actions and want to return the favor by helping humanity out.

Stuff Happens but I don’t know exactly what yet lol. I do know there’s a lot of space battles because that’s just cool.

Erina eventually comes back into her physical form because Dany is in danger (I imagine it's a situation similar to Rebellion; I haven't hammered out the details yet though). There are also Chaos machinations, which could be catastrophic for the universe.

She manages to save Dany and also connects with Chaos itself, making it realize it needs to chill out. Like it can still be Chaos but not so extra.

Erina with her loved ones, also getting to meet the new characters. She is sad about needing to leave them again, but knows her duty is more important.

However, the Rule of Cycles is very grateful for all of Erina’s help; after all, she ended Wraiths and managed to get Chaos to calm down just a bit. The RoC asks Erina if she wants to live out the rest of her natural lifespan in the mortal world. She says yes, because there's nothing she wants to do more than live her life with her friends and family, in the world she loves so much.

I imagine the system her wish made is still in place because, like Madokami, she's both Erina the individual and Erina the force of nature. It’s not great to have Erina the individual missing, but since it’ll only be for a few decades the universe can cope.

In the ACTUAL, FINAL ending, Erina becomes a teacher for young mages. Erina, Dany, and Iris (a main character whose relationship with Erina is also a major theme) officially become a polycule. LOVE FUCKING WINS!

If you made it this far: THANK YOU FOR READING MY STORY, both the story itself and your interest mean more to me than anything!!! 🩷🩷🩷

[voice-of-the-tired]

(ramblings of a madman upcoming. this is borderline nonsensical but I just gotta get this out there)

ugh, I LOVE the voices parallels so much. they make me insane. and I've been thinking about opportunist/hunted and skeptic/smitten the most rn.

for the first two, in their respective chapter 2s they are survival responses put in situations where said responses are entirely reasonable, but will end up reinforcing the "status quo" if entertained. this is somewhat the case with most of the voices, but I think it's especially noticeable with them.

the opportunist has a "betray them before they ever get the chance to betray you" mentality, and would you look at that, the witch has the very same mentality! and he is CORRECT in thinking she will betray you. because she will. but by following him and what he thinks, you're just making it impossible to break the cycle of violence (this is literally the point of the thorn).

the hunted behaves... well, like prey, and uh. the beast IS a predator. he IS prey. she is hunting them. but if you just follow your instincts you'll never be able to free her, or defeat her, or leave together or learn about reconciliation or do anything else that isn't survive.

so their situations are reinforcing their behaviour, then their behaviour in turn reinforces their situation; they are stuck in a cycle. at least with the hunted you can have the skeptic to make a plan later on in the den, I guess. but it's still a fascinating thing.

I think the stubborn and the broken chapters are a bit similar to them in this regard, but those have more to do with giving meaning to the princess and choosing whether or not you should fight against it in the end. it's a bit of a different situation. skeptic and smitten also don't quite... doom themselves if you just follow them, even though they actively feed into the chapter's "concepts", because they're sort of "tools" made to complement and help you towards your goal (free the princess through skepticism or blind devotion) as opposed to survival responses.

talking about them... oh boy, skeptic and smitten in their respective chapter 2s. you can just go through with whatever the plan was (leave with her), but if you don't, they won't ever get the only thing they sought and will hurt others (and themselves) in their desperation. you take away smitten's happy ending, and you leave skeptic without answers, and to that they just. fucking lose it. going with the previous tool comparation, you could say that's what happens when a "tool" isn't useful in a specific situation any longer. it can't do anything else except for its designated function. so

when the illusion that love makes everything possible and that all you and the princess needed was each other shattered, the smitten couldn't believe it. this was everything he ever wanted and everything he knew; you are the hero. she is a damsel. you are in love. you save the damsel and live happily ever after. that's what HAD to happen, and if it didn't, then it will. he has to make it happen, because it can't and shouldn't work in any other way.

in the prisoner, if you don't take her head, you are shoved into eternal nothingness while left with only questions. what is this place? who is the narrator? what is he hiding? who is the princess? why is she locked up? how could she end the world? is there a world? where is it? why are we the ones doing this? why did the princess cut off her head? not only could they not go through with saving the princess like they tried before, but there are SO many questions, and skeptic didn't get any answers! they can't be left unanswered, the truth HAS to be unraveled. that's what he's been trying to do all along. it's the only thing that matters. they WILL keep going and they WILL figure it out.

they are too obsessed to care about anything else. they are too stuck in their tunnel vision to accept anything else. they are too far gone to do anything else.

lord help me I am going insane because of this game /pos

[atamascolily]

I'm not the first person to observe that magical girls are literally a brighter and more vibrant version of their ordinary selves, but I like this particular Memoria from Magia Record, "Girl's Boundary" ("That Which Divides" in the North American server) not only because it shows this juxtaposition directly, but because it also makes the subtext explicitly text:

There is a vast gap between ordinary girls and Magical Girls. An invisible but tremendous gap. However, armed with their "feelings" and "wishes" they can cross that gap in a single step.

There's a tendency to focus on the downsides of contracting--and for good reason--but I think that it's also important to focus on the very real appeal (especially for adolescents) of stepping out of your boring everyday life and becoming an idealized and powerful version of yourself, complete with ruffles and sparkles. (The sparkles in this drawing indicate that this is 2-star Memoria, and probably were not meant to be Magical Girl Madoka is sparkling, but wow, does it sure look like it at first glance.) It's such a powerful fantasy, and this card does such a great job of depicting that, and showing what it's like for it to come true.

The use of "boundary," 境界 (kyoukai) here is interesting to me in contrast to the kekkai, 結界, or magical barrier created by witches (translated as "labyrinth" in the official English version). Becoming a witch is literally being bounded, circumscribed, limited in possibilities; instead of being able to transform back and forth, they are fundamentally stuck in a monstrous and inhuman form for eternity. A witch is neither a magical nor an ordinary girl but a secret third thing, reviled and trapped in their own personal hell, existing in a liminal space that is anathema to the world around it (represented by the change in animation). Magical girls, however, have the freedom to cross over at will because their feeling and wishes give them strength and power to do so.

This card's text also reinforces the idea that magical girls literally exist in a different world that ordinary people cannot experience. In the original series, this gap serves to isolate and alienate them from their previous existence and ensure there is no turning back (and Madoka and Sayaka do not even have to contract to experience this for themselves; just being introduced to that world is enough).

However, the act of becoming a magical girl--both the original contract and the transformation--is, like electrons, fundamentally quantum in nature: it allows them to instantly* jump from world to world without passing through any points in between. Which makes sense in a weird sort of way, since "feelings" and "wishes" are literally energy, and the transformation of soul gem to grief seed comes with a powerful explosion reminiscent of nuclear fission.

(*Many arguments have been made about how long magical girl transformations actually take in-universe and whether the slow montages are experienced by the girls and/or observers or are only a representation for the audience; YMMV, but on several occasions we see magical girls in PMMM transform instantly without an extended sequence, which makes the latter seem more likely.)

Speaking of transformation sequences, this card evokes Madoka's in the opening of the PMMM, where she dances with her double. More poignantly, it also speaks to Madoka's profound self-worth issues, where she feels she is useless in her ordinary life and can only find fulfillment as a magical girl.

Finally, I have a lot of questions about that magic circle design in the upper right corner, and I wish more of it was visible in the background.

[obae-me]

Folks... *clap*.

I'm all done with the Nightbringer story. And for whatever reason, I feel the need to share my opinions on it as a whole. So, to simplify the churning spaghetti mess of thoughts in my brain, I'll be following a Great, Good, Bad, Ugly sort of format.

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional game designer or writer or...anything really. I just write a lot and play a lot of games. This is purely my opinion after being hooked on Obey Me for... five years? Jeez....

Is this really analytical? Not really. This is quite literally me just saying what I did and did not like in such a way that I hope makes me sound somewhat smart.

Let's get into it!

Warning: Spoilers for Nightbringer ahead!

Music Design:

The Great- Some of the songs are so good unironically! Most of them fit the characters so well. I remember when they first were coming out, so many people wanted Satan to have a heavy metal song, and when his song was one of the softest ones, I remember the entire fandom cried. "We also judged him based on just his anger when he's so much more!" the people wailed. I know, I was there, I was one of them. Do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.

The Good- Some cringe and heavy autotune aside, I can tell they all improved every time a new song was released. They are just so fun, and I can tell that most of them had fun singing them. It's just a good vibe all around. There's something especially fun about the holiday ones... If only it had been around long enough to maybe do a Valentines....

The Bad- This one and the Ugly opinion kind of tie into each other, but I feel like there's a lot of missed potential here. I've played a few rhythm games here and there, so I wouldn't call myself the most knowledgeable about them, but I'm so surprised they only relied on new songs. Meaning character songs and the like. Some of the OST slaps! I don't understand why they didn't take some of the already existing songs and remix them into playable levels? Maybe the songs just couldn't transform into something catchy enough? And mentioning that, I'm going to immediately lean into the Ugly.

The Ugly- Oh....my god...it gets so repetitive after a while. Not even a while, it gets repetitive FAST. And maybe this is mostly just a 'Me' issue, because even with other rhythm games, I usually only have about an hour in me before I have to move onto something else. There's no way to pick the song you'd rather listen to, and like I said before, they ONLY use the character songs, nothing else. Some lessons have three or four of the same song... I love them, and I often have my songs I listen to on repeat for hours, but even I have my limits. I've played each song so much, I kid you not sometimes I can play with NO music on, and be able to tell which song is playing just based on the level.

Overall: The songs? So cute, even if a little cringe. And for something that used to literally just be tapping game sprites after a few seconds to "battle", making a whole rhythm game is such a step up. And for the VAs to not only work on voice lines for the game, but also work on podcasts and songs at the same time? I can only hope they are paid better than... most VAs here at the moment. And because for some reason I love ranking things? Obey Me Nightbringer's music gets a 6/10. I subtracted one point because I CAN'T FIND the OST for that very specific one music box background song!

Game Design:

The Great- I thought the UI looked so much nicer in Nightbringer! Moving around, even just basic swiping felt a lot more fluid. They added a lot more shortcuts to get to places faster. The chats looked better. The little details and the backgrounds were so cute! (Although my one stipulation is that for a while I thought the Ruri-Chan backgrounds correlated what was happening in the lessons and I was very disappointed when that was... not the case). I loved that some of the cards had moving wallpapers for the app. The moving background for Akuzon? Mwah, love. Aesthetic is very important to me, and they pulled off demonic but modern well in my opinion. The design team, may your pillows stay cold.

The Good- If I remember the first game compared to this one, I think Nightbringer had more chats and phone calls in total? Which I enjoy (let's not talk about the 30 dollar one). I love little flavor texts, it makes the world feel a bit more alive, and helps add to characterization. The addition of the occasional audio message? So good! I wish there were more chats that we as MC could participate in, but that's just a personal preference. The new emojis/stickers are also so cute! It's just a damn shame they came out shortly before the game wasn't going to have anything new. I wanted to see and use so much more of those...

The Bad- Now, some of these complaints of mine are based on my experiences with other otome games. Which, I realize, is quite like comparing apples to oranges. But....seeing that it's all I have since I've never played any of the other Solomare games, we'll have to make do. The Gatcha aspect is SO expensive, in my opinion. I'm used to other games where there's some kind of pity system for pulls? To my knowledge, there's no eventual guarantee for the one you want? Well, until they added in the ticket system, but that came so late in the game... If I recall, 100 tickets allows you to pick the card you want. 100 feels like SO much in Nightbringer. A lot of the best bundles are hidden behind VIP, you don't get a lot of bang for your buck, and a lot of times 50 bucks only really gets you like 30 pulls (don't quote me on that). Yes, that's part of the gambling, and I recognize that, but other games seem a little more forgiving. Even if only by a little. And if I'm totally wrong with the pity thing, that's my bad. I don't ever really see anyone talking about it, only ever if they got the character card they wanted or not.

The Ugly- Now, this might sound spoiled of me. But... there's just... not a lot to do? Yes, it's a rhythm game, so most of it is music levels, but like I mentioned before, it doesn't feel like a full rhythm game. Farming the hard levels is... sometimes torture. So, then they added that minigame for farming for card materials. It was cute the first five times I played it, and then I never touched it again... The Fab Snap videos? Cute for the first few days, and then I haven't touched it since, and I haven't even seen anyone else talk about it. The Wanderer Whatever (I forget the name) cute for a while and then hardly touched it. At some point too I think the game just...stopped adding those as well. I haven't seen a notification for it for ages. Not to mention most of the events/interactions are locked behind a paywall. Normally like...four to five American dollars for a 45 second scene. Extra calls and chats and 3D model scenes are stuck in cards behind skill levels, and with chats especially, they don't even always talk to you! If I spend extra Grimm and materials leveling up the skill just to get to a chat and it's one I can't even make a chat option in?? What are we doing here, am I not the Main Character? Sometimes it feels that way. Although that particular take is nuanced, and one I will dive deeper into with this next one... my white whale...

Oh, but rating first, I give the overall Game Design a 4/10. Looks super nice, lacks a bit of substance. I could've given it a 5, but based off of other games I've played, it needed some more substance to keep me around more as a player.

Writing Design:

This one is gonna be a doozy, folks.

The Great- I'm gonna be honest here. Most- if not all- of my praise is directed towards the first season. Was the writing perfect? No, of course not. Was it revolutionary? I would not say so. Did it keep me engaged? OH yeah. I sat there every week or so waiting for the new lesson to launch like I was waiting on the next episode of my favorite anime. It had me kicking my feet and giggling. It had drama, it had love, it had curses, magic shenanigans, goofs, gaffs, but most of all- what do we say, class? It had, yep, that's right, commitment. I'll explain that more in detail when we descend into the ugly, but just to give you my favorite examples. Lesson 12, when MC was affected by the curse of the reapers cave or wherever that was, after Lucifer attacked us because of the grimoire. That whole scenario was SO good. Finding out we were human, Belphie and Solomon being angry at each other, running away, all of it! And then again when Lucifer was taken prisoner and brought down into Cocytus, bound in chains away from his family. That is what I came here to see!

The Good- I love that a few characters had very distinct differences being that far back in time. Satan being so new and sounding so... clumsy and confused. Barbatos just having some absolute vitriol towards Solomon. Seeing Solomon having a lot more jealousy and anger and vulnerability than we had seen before. Diavolo needing much more validation and guidance than usual. Wonderful, I love it, it's not very often in media that we get to see character development devolve. I only wish they would've played around with that a liiittle more, and maybe for all the characters. But what we got was good! Good delicious characterization soup.

The Bad- Alright... let's start to crack this bad boy open a little, huh? This is just the bad and not the ugly yet, so we'll just go over my surface level complaints, along with some acknowledgement of why I assume most things are the way they are. I get that translation might be an issue. I get that censorship might also be an issue. Even sheer workload, pumping out lessons and cards and events oh my. Which is what I will be covering in The Bad... the events. Now, don't get me wrong, I know there was a lot to fully be desired in the first game when it came to the events. I remember the Paw Panic and the Halloween Mask event really sticking out to me, and then the rest... I doubt I could even pick one out and describe it. When you have SO many events to make, ideas start to sometimes run low. Some of Obey Me's events sounded like some sort of plot a Mad Lib would come up with. (YET WE STILL NEVER GOT A MERMAID EVENT). So, unfortunately, a lot of events fell short. Just a little pause of entertainment we got to have while we tried to grind for those beautiful cards.

The Ugly- Quickly moving into the ugly category, it's time to get into the meat and potatoes of what I'm really here to talk about. That's right. All of what you probably skimmed through before was just the last minute free ramble I put together to essentially throw a bit of spackle and glitter on this rant I'm about to go on. Why am I so keyed up about this? I don't know, life has been hard lately and it feels good to channel some irritation and anger into something I'm passionate about. Because clearly I love Obey Me, right? The characters feel like old time friends and even after my many hiatuses (hiatai? Hiatusees?) opening the game feels like coming to a comfortable old home.

That being said, there seems to be plenty of cracks in this old home that no amount of caulk will fix.

Let's start with my first problem. The length get your mind out of the gutter. It felt as if every event got shorter and more pointless. I would do one, sometimes two, rhythm courses, only to get five or so lines of dialogue before it ended. Let's play a game. One of these two scenarios is from an actual in game event that workers got paid for, while the other I came up with in two minutes. Guess which one is which, okay?

A)

Leviathan: Wait, you can't sing?

Belphegor: Sounds like a cry for attention if you ask me.

Mammon: I swear! Why would I lie about somethin' like this?!

MC: >Are you okay, Mammon?

Because you lie about everything.

Mammon: MC is the only one who cares! Take notes, ya jerks!

Lucifer: I'm assuming this must have been something to do with the light we saw earlier.

Leviathan: His throat started to glow when he wrote down his song on the form, right?

Which means...

(End Scene)

B)

Satan: This is...

Asmodeus: A boutique! I get to sit down and buy outfits?! This must be the hidden paradise after all!

Satan: Hold on, we don't know if it's safe yet. He's already gone...

Simeon: Ahaha!

MC: We were scammed!

>What are you laughing at?

Simeon: No matter what my expectations are, the Devildom continues to catch me by surprise.

The map leading us to a secret store is so simple, I can't help but laugh a little. Ahaha!

Satan: I'm not so sure we can write this off as simple just yet...

???: Eeeeeeeek!

(End Scene)

Place your bets, folks! Put in your entries now for the scenario you think is the real deal? Ready for the answer?

The correct answer is A!

Scenario A is from the Marine event, while B I came up with on my own.

For the record I reeeeally wanted to pull a B99 "they're both your locker" on everyone, but then I was curious to see if I had what it takes to come up with something so similar it might fool people. Well, did you win? If you picked my scenario B, you are tasked with letting me know in the reblogs or replies that I would make a good Obey Me writer, thank you /j

I also spent a well earned LD Ticket to find that scene, thank you very much.

Anyway, I hope that helps emphasize my point. It can take up to sometimes 4 minutes to get to a scene like that! And then it ends! And you have to play more rhythm levels! I think honestly this particular problem exacerbates the feeling of repetitiveness that I mentioned earlier. It takes longer to wait to skip an ad on YouTube than some of these scenes last. Nightbringer is a rhythm game, yes, but it's supposed to predominately be a visual novel. So when you have what feels like only part of a rhythm game and only part of a visual novel, you get overall a game that feels incomplete as a whole.

I didn't feel that way in season 1. Only with the events, which I ended up mostly skipping or skimming anyway. I didn't really notice it.

But then when Season 2 came?...

Boy howdy...

What is the best way I can describe my feelings towards Season 2 of Nightbringer?

Season 2 of Nightbringer was some of the worst padded infuriating nonsensical filler I've seen from a game in a long time.

And with the announcement of Nightbringer ending, I can tell from Season 2 that they've been planning on ending the game for a while now. It's the written equivalent of "we lock the doors in five minutes, start closing now!"

I got over the brothers not knowing that MC had disappeared to the past. I sighed but shrugged my shoulders when they started the Science Fair Festival thing. I had a twinge of hope when it seemed focused on Simeon turning into a demon.

And then the lessons kept going.... and going.... and going... and... nothing was really happening.

And I started to notice a pattern. One that really- UGH. Sorry... I am zen, I swear.

Let me ask you this? How many times did you notice the lesson ending on a cliffhanger, only for it to immediately be resolved by the beginning of the next lesson? Some of the time we didn't even get to experience it happening, the game had to tell us. Because I noticed it. And it happened A LOT. One of these that I noticed made me so frustrated, I had to put my phone down for a bit. It's the very end of lesson 56 going into 57.

We're supposed to be at some real juicy story. Raphael can't handle that Simeon is turning into a demon. He disappears. Everyone gets sucked into Babel. We find him, and he starts having such a mental breakdown, Babel is collapsing. Lucifer calls out MC's name frantically!... Then to wait for lesson 57.

Yes! Lesson 57 is here! Time to get back into the action! A small recap. Everything is about to crumble. We call out Raphael's name. We reach out!

Then get sucked into a vision? One of Raphael and everyone in the Celestial Realm, leaving one by one till he is all alone. In the back of our mind, we hear someone trying to call out our name...

"MC, thank goodness you are awake. Do you not remember what happened? You fell out of the tower as it collapsed."

Then wacky music starts playing as the brothers with wings complain about carrying everyone else.

Huh?

The action and drama? Over in an instant. Flattened.

Raphael isn't freaking out anymore and I think we find him standing off alone somewhere away from the group and convince him he isn't alone. I can't remember, it didn't feel very meaningful or memorable.

And that right there is my biggest issue! Remember what I said before? What was the word? Commitment. It felt like every single plot that was created had no satisfying follow through, if it even had a follow through at all! Nightbringer? Who is he?! Why did we get sucked back into the past? I don't know! Simeon turning into a demon? He decided for himself he wasn't ready to leave the Celestial Realm yet so Levi helped make a potion that drew out some sort of chromosome so he could become fully human again so maybe he could be an angel again in the future. And that's really how Season 2 ended!

And something about the moon crashing down but us trying to stop it and shield the whole Devildom but it didn't work and one of the brothers of our choosing falls into a coma but suddenly he wakes up again and the moon is fine and the exchange program is ending hurray!

All in like two lessons, just so you all know. It was so random and quick it made my head spin, and was over with so fast I didn't even have time to maybe be upset that my favorite brother was in a coma.

My biggest issue with Obey Me is the lack of follow through, and even in the first game I've always felt like we are more observers than like an actual character in the game? The first and second season of the last game and the first season of this one felt involved. This other one? We didn't really do a whole lot. And I know that's a personal preference. I know people in this fandom can get really upset when something happens to MC because they don't like that. Me? I want to be in the action! I want things in the world to happen to ME too. Even in the events, it's always like, "oh no, I guess because I'm a human, the curse only affected you guys? And Solomon? Well because he's a unique human, it affected him too". That's why lesson 12 stuck with me so much. We were finally affected by the world! Instead of having some sort of godly plot armor.

I don't even know what else to say, really. Only that I hope they end up making another game? Maybe the rhythm game aspect couldn't be sustainable for too much longer and so they're setting something else up? If they aren't working on this particular story anymore, it's very unfulfilling. And I understand that sometimes circumstances force things like this to end before they would like to? Maybe if I'm filled with enough stifled rage, I'll write an alternative ending to this like when I wrote The Reunion we Deserved?

Closing Remarks?

My biggest pet peeve I see in bad writing is commitment. The "it happened in your head", "it was a dream", "do you not remember", "they didn't actually die" (revival or fake deaths can be done properly, but it's difficult to pull off) loophole is so cheap, and it makes me so sad. Because then it softens the blow of what you just spent time to build up.

Nightbringer season 2 had good moments, it's just that the good moments were so abrupt, cut off by ending a scene really quick or interrupting it with something wacky. And trust me, I love wacky shenanigans, but there's a time and a place! I loved Diavolo catching MC when they fell off the train, but nearly as soon as he caught them, the scene ended! I loved Simeon getting mad at Lucifer, Solomon, and Diavolo. It only lasted for three little scenes, and the three of them doing something so dangerous for something with very little threat felt very out of character.

Somehow the story went in about a hundred different directions, and then ended up really going nowhere.

Again, these are my personal rants. If I were smarter, I'd probably be able to critique this in a much more clever and enlightened manner, but I'm just a fanfic writer writing all of this at 2 am running on fumes and a weird amount of spite.

Writing rating? Season One gets a 7/10. Docked one point for denying us hugs and tears when we got back to our own timeline. "oh, it'll destroy the timelin--" ITS FICTION. Get that out of my face and give me my hurt/comfort!

Season two: 3/10. Maybe harsh, I know. I struggled getting through it, especially when the first season had set those really good expectations.

I still love the characters. Love the world. Love this fandom. The brainrot is still real, who knows if it will ever let me go.

If you read this whole thing, wow! Why?... Genuinely impressed. Take a Happy Mammon as your gold star!

[vintagerpg]

This is the expanded, stand-alone edition of The Dare (2020), a legendary Kevin A. Ross scenario for Call of Cthulhu. It was originally designed as a tournament module, run in the late ’80s and is notable for being one of, if not the, first RPG scenarios with kid player characters. The scenario only saw print once previously, as part of the anthology Dwellers in Shadow (1996), from Triad Entertainments. Even at that point in time, I can’t think of many, if any, scenarios that have kids in the lead roles.

What we have here is a very detailed haunted house that the trick-or-treating player characters are dared to enter. In the caves beneath the house lurks a child-eating witch, and the house is full of her familiars (rat things, cat things, bat things and so on). Even the kid who dares the players to go in is in on the scheme — he’s just an empty suit of skin, worn by a hivemind of verminous insects. Once inside the house, the kids are harried by the servants, and hopefully picked off one by one, while the witch monitors progress via the mirrors in the house and generally complicates things with her spells. Its a suitably horrible one-shot that is probably wind up with one or more kids eaten by a cannibal witch. Good times!

Also a good time is the “Kid-Thulhu” rules, which amounts to a simplification of the 7e Call of Cthulhu. I’m unclear whether this was designed by the Sentinel Hill Press folks or Chaosium, but it’s great. Especially the age-appropriate skills like “Play with Matches,” “Be a Pal,” “Spooky Stuff” and more. That these are cute, though, does not mean horrible things won’t happen to this costumed investigators. Be warned!

[atalana]

actually you know what, while this isn't something i had an issue with in the movie (and honestly the costume designers for wicked did an incredible job), i do wanna talk about elphaba's stage dress bc i think the tumblr lesbians will have fun with it!

so like i made a post a bit ago about how i literally only have one gripe with the wicked movie and it's that every glinda outfit was pink (probably for marketing purposes, but stage glinda is incredibly varied in her colours, and she only has one pink dress, alongside a white, a yellow, a green, and two blue dresses)

but i didn't really go into how elphaba is, in her own way, just as colourful!

because if you read interviews with susan hilferty, the original costume designer for wicked, she talks about how the primary thing she wanted to play with was the idea of these two as earth and sky

glinda comes from the sky, both literally in terms of her first scene being in the bubble, but also that is who she is as a person, bright, airy, expansive. she gets so many colours because she represents the rainbow, and whenever her and elphie are put in contrast, she gets the light side as is fitting for the show

(i did mention this in my glinda post too, but in the show the school colours for shiz are blue and white, which they do conform to, but while every other student is wearing blue and white stripes, glinda is dressed entirely in white and elphie entirely in blue)

but to the point of this post! you then get elphaba as earth. i've seen posts around about how elphie's magic is so strong because she's more connected to the world around her, and that's not only true but something worked into her costume design! hilferty talks about mica and geodes being an inspiration here, elphaba comes from the earth and is an intrinsic part of it, she may not look like much from the outside but she holds an incredible beauty inside

and so her dress is designed to look black from a distance, but it's actually not! it's dozens of layers of different dark colours, that shine and catch the light in different ways

(these dresses are also all slightly different because she mentions they made each dress for the actress who would wear it, each one is unique to fit how that person plays elphaba)

it also to me represents her public vs private image, people like glinda who've seen those layers to her knows she's a beautiful person inside and out, know how she could be seen and loved and appreciated for her complexity and depth, but no one looks that closely. they see from a distance, and they see what they want to see - a wicked witch in a black dress

(especially poignant given how colourful oz is and how no one else, no one 'good', ever wears black)

and i genuinely do love the details put into elphie's movie design, i'm a big fan of victorian style costuming and she's got a lot of those elements (plus the amount of detail and complexity put into dresses that are entirely black should be commended)

but i wanna show off her coloured dress too, because it means the world to me

[fafnir19]

To: @alldaystress

The dull buzz of the alarm clock jars you awake, its persistent ringing a stark contrast to the dreary morning. You groan, rolling over in your bed, the sheets tangled around your legs. It's another day at the new job, a position you reluctantly accepted after months of unemployment. As you stretch, your fingers graze the worn fabric of the old band t-shirt you've slept in, a remnant of your college days when you cared more about music and rebellion than grades. It’s your first job after college, but it's not the career launch you'd hoped for. Your grades, never stellar, landed you in this entry-level position with no real prospects for advancement. You had always struggled with commitment, both in your studies and personal life, and your grades reflected that. College was a blur of late nights, parties, and a general lack of direction. Now, at 24, you find yourself starting at the bottom of the corporate ladder, feeling like you've wasted precious years. As you get ready for the day, pulling on a pair of faded jeans and a wrinkled button-down shirt, you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Your dark brown hair, slightly unkempt, frames your average face, its roundness accentuated by the soft jawline. Brown eyes stare back at you, lacking the spark of confidence and determination that many of your peers seem to possess.

This week you had a boring week-long business convention planned in another city and your taxi to the airport was already waiting for you. You sigh, knowing that today is another step towards a future you're not entirely sure you want.

The hotel lobby is bustling with activity as you step inside, your eyes adjusting to the elegant chandelier's glow. It's a far cry from your usual haunts, a world of luxury you've only ever glimpsed from the outside. You had always felt like an outsider, your rebellious nature a barrier to fitting in. But today, you're here for a convention, a rare opportunity to network and perhaps, just perhaps, find a way out of your dead-end job.

"Welcome to the Grand Summit Hotel," a familiar voice called out. You freeze, recognizing the voice immediately. Jennifer, a former classmate from high school, stands behind the counter, her expression a mix of amusement and mockery.

She was always a bit of an oddball, claiming to be a witch and nerved anyone who crossed her. You had mocked her relentlessly back then, earning the nickname 'Golden Boy' as a sarcastic reference to your lack of ambition and low physical prowess and mediocre grades.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't our Golden Boy!" Jennifer leans forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. You remember her all too well—the self-proclaimed witch who always had a sarcastic remark ready, especially for you.

*So much for witchcraft,* you thought. *She’s stuck here, while I’m—well, still in a dead-end job too.*

“Nice to see you too, Witchie,” you shot back, unable to resist. Her nickname always had a way of irking you, but today, it felt more playful than biting. She chuckled, a sound that surprisingly warmed the space between you. “We’re fully booked, but I had the choice to give you a room by the trash bins. Lucky for you, I decided you deserve an upgrade!” She flashed a smirk, her expression a mix of mischief and genuine friendliness. Puzzled, you raised an eyebrow. “An upgrade? From you? What’s the catch?” She laughed, a melodic sound that echoed through the spacious lobby. “No catch. Just consider it a friendly gesture. Besides, I’m a little tired of being known as the girl who lost to the ‘Golden Boy.’” You followed her to the top floor, the elevator climbing steadily. As the doors opened, you stepped into the suite, your breath hitching. The sleek black and silver design was modern and striking, like something straight out of a high-end ad. Your heart raced with a mix of disbelief and admiration. “Wow,” you breathed, glancing around. “This is... impressive.”

You tossed yourself onto the oversized bed, the silk sheets feeling like a decadent cloud. “I could get used to this,” you said, a cocky grin spreading across your face. In a playful move, Jennifer tossed the silk bed cover over you, covering you completely. “Now you’re just a golden burrito!” You laughed, your voice muffled beneath the fabric. “At least I’m a cozy one!” The game was on, and you attempted to wriggle free, planning to retaliate with a pillow. Yet, the cover was more confining than expected, and your struggles only entangled you further. "Hey, let me out!" you shouted, your voice muffled by the silk. But your struggles only resulted in Jennifer's laughter. "Jennifer, this isn't funny!" you called out, a hint of panic creeping in. "Relax, Golden Boy," her melodic voice replied, followed by a soft laugh. "Relax and lay down, Golden Boy," Jennifer's voice, now serious, instructed. "You're making this harder than it needs to be." You froze, realizing she wasn't playing anymore.

Her hands found your shoulders, gently but firmly pushing you down. "No need to fight it. Surrender to the silk." The sensation of her touch through the silk was peculiar. It was as if the fabric had become an extension of her, caressing your skin, making you hyperaware of every nerve ending. "What... what are you doing?" you managed to utter, your voice weak against the tide of pleasure and surprise. "Shh," she whispered, her breath warm against your ear. "No more resistance. You've always been a fighter, but here, now, it's time to let go." Her fingers traced patterns on your chest, sending shivers down your spine. "Listen to my voice, Golden Boy. Let it guide you." Your body felt leaden, as if a weight was pulling you deeper into the bed. "I... I can't move," you stammered, the realization hitting you. "That's right," she cooed, her finger now resting gently on your lips. "You don't need to. It's liberating, isn't it? No more expectations, no more pretending." Her words were like a spell, each one binding you further. "You've never truly been in control, have you? Not in school, not in life. It's exhausting, fighting it all the time."

You tried to argue, but the words caught in your throat as her hands glided lower. "W-wait," you stammer, your voice weak and you realize with a start that she's touching you intimately, despite your protests. "Oh, look at that," she purred with satisfaction, her fingers caressing the growing bulge that was appearing in the sheets. . "You're responding beautifully. Let the horniness flow through you. Don't fight it, not even for a second." Her hand stroking over your silk-covered erection, and you gasp as pleasure surges through you. "Oh... but I..." Your words trail off as her touch ignites a fire within you. You're hardening under her touch, the throbbing between your legs contradicting your sexual orientation. "Oh, Golden Boy, don't fight it. I know you're gay, but your body knows what it wants. It's natural, just let it happen." Her voice is almost hypnotic, and you find yourself agreeing, your body craving more. "Y-yes..." You moan softly as her strokes become more insistent, your cock straining against the silk. "Shh... It's okay to want this," she whispers, her fingers continuing their sensual dance. "Let go of your inhibitions. You're so eager, so responsive. It's perfect." Your mind is spinning, the sensation of her touch overwhelming. You feel yourself sinking further into the bed, the silk sheets caressing your skin.

"That's it," Jennifer cooed, her fingers now stroking the length of your hardened cock. "You have no choice but to feel. No choice but to be exactly what you are in this moment. Nothing else matters." Your mind was blank, filled only with the need to surrender, to let go of everything but the pleasure. The world around you fades, and all that's left is the silk, her touch, and the pleasure coursing through your veins. You are sinking, surrendering to the sensation, to her. "You're doing exactly what you should, Golden Boy. So eager to please, so ready to obey." Her voice is a distant hum as you descend deeper into the bed, the darkness enveloping you.

"You're doing perfectly. No more thinking, just feeling. You're so horny, so ready to please." The silk caressed every inch of your skin, and you sank deeper, the mattress molding around you. "Yes, surrender to it," Jennifer whispered, her voice distant yet commanding. "Forget who you were. You're Golden Boy now, eager, obedient. No more doubts, no more resistance." The room spun as you sunk further, the silk a dark, sensuous cocoon. "Yes, let it consume you," she whispers, and then, darkness. The last thing you felt was the silk against your skin, and then nothing. The suite fell silent, and Jennifer, with a satisfied smile, smoothed the covers, erasing all traces of your existence.

The darkness enveloped you, and time became an abstract concept as you lay there, unconscious.  But soon, a sensation stirred you from your slumber, a feeling of being stretched and pulled, awakening your senses. It was then that you realized, with a jolt of horror, you weren't just lying on a bed anymore. "Oh, fuck," a deep, masculine voice groaned above you. You were being pulled taut, and the realization hit you— you were a silk sheet, and beneath you was a man's throbbing erection and he was jerking off.

Marcus, the handsome executive, lay there, his eyes closed in pleasure, completely oblivious to your presence. His hands gripped the silk—you—and began to stroke himself, the friction of his movements sending shivers through your transformed body. "Oh, yes," he moaned, his voice deep and husky. "This silk feels incredible."

The tip of his cock, hard and pulsating, pressed against you, and a drop of pre-cum oozed from the slit, seeping into your silky fabric. The intimate contact sparked a surprising reaction within you. The horror you initially felt began to melt away, replaced by a strange, unfamiliar joy.

The pleasure he derived from your silkiness was intoxicating. You wanted to please him, to be used for his pleasure, to be the best silk sheet he had ever experienced. The thought of being a mere object of desire filled you with a sense of purpose. You were grateful to be the vessel of his satisfaction, a tool for his release.

As he continued to stroke, your transformation began to reverse, the silk giving way to flesh, muscle, and bone. As his strokes grew faster, so did your transformation. You could feel your body changing, the silk fabric becoming skin once more. The process was slow, but with each stroke of his cock, you were coming back to life, back to being human. You emerged from the silk, your body now straddling Marcus, your legs on either side of his waist. With that, you began instinctively to move, rising and falling on his shaft, your body now fully restored to its human form. The pleasure was unlike anything you'd experienced before. You rode him with a newfound confidence, your movements fluid and graceful. "Yes, that's it," he groaned, his hands gripping your hips, guiding your motions. His intense gaze locked onto you, a mixture of satisfaction and predatory hunger flashing across his face. "What's your name?" he asked, his voice low and commanding. You paused, searching your mind.

The name on the tip of your tongue feels foreign. "Golden Boy," you blurted out, unsure why those words came to mind. It felt right, yet wrong at the same time. A sense of unease washes over you as you realize you can't remember anything else. "Perfect," Marcus purrs, his eyes glinting with satisfaction. "Let's see if Jennifer delivered on her promise." As if on cue, you glanced at the mirror, barely recognizing the reflection staring back at you. The person in the mirror was younger, their face sculpted with sharp, defined features. Lean muscles rippled beneath smooth, hairless skin, and your eyes widened at the sight of your own chiseled physique. But it was your hair that drew your attention—short golden locks with shaved sides, a stark contrast to your previous unkempt style. Before you could fully process your transformation, Marcus flipped you onto your back with a swift, dominant move.

You gasped as his hard length pushed into you, and you instinctively tried to resist, declaring, "I'm a top!" "You're a top, huh?" he whispers, his hot breath tickling your ear. "Well, I'm your mentor now, and I'll teach you a thing or two about success." You struggle against his hold, a surge of defiance rising within you. But his words ignite a spark of curiosity, and you find yourself intrigued by the idea of learning from this powerful man.

He whispered, "I'll teach you the path to success." His words ignited a fire within you, a desire to embrace this new version of yourself. You struggled against his hold, not out of resistance, but from the sheer thrill of it. As he overpowered you, his weight pressing down, you realized this was how he asserted his dominance. You spread your legs, surrendering to the moment, your body arching to meet his thrusts. "You like not being in control, don't you, Golden Boy?" he purred, his voice a seductive caress. "Especially when I'm the one in charge." The truth of his words hit you hard. You craved his control, the power he exuded, and the promise of success he offered. "Yes," you whispered, your voice hoarse with desire. "Yes, I do." Marcus's thrusts became more urgent, his body a blur of motion above you. "You will be successful, determined, and superior," he growled. "But with me, you are obedient, my loyal subject." His words sent a jolt of pleasure through you, and you cried out, "Yes, Sir! Make me yours!" As if your surrender was the final piece he needed, Marcus's body tensed, and he spilled his release inside you. Your own cock, throbbing with need, refused to find release. Marcus noticed your torment, his eyes gleaming with satisfaction. "Cum, Golden Boy," he commanded, his voice laced with power. At his words, your orgasm exploded, and you came with a force that left you breathless.

With your climax, the rebellious spirit is gone, replaced by a burning desire to fit in and succeed, no matter the cost. You smiled, a new determination burning in your transformed eyes. You knew, without a doubt, that Marcus was the mentor you needed, and you would do whatever it took to climb the ladder of success by his side.

The transformation had left you with a new sense of purpose, and as you stepped out of the shower, feeling the warm water wash away the remnants of your old self, you couldn't help but smirk at the thought of Marcus' words. "Now you are mine, I own you," he had said, and you were ready to embrace this new path.

Marcus appeared in the bathroom, his tall, commanding figure filling the doorway. He holds a sleek dress shirt, the kind you've always associated with the old-money elite, and drapes it over your shoulders. You grimace; this is not your style, not who you used to be. "Thanks, but this isn't really my thing," you say, attempting to assert a fragment of your old self. "Oh, but it is, Golden Boy," Marcus purred, his breath warm on your ear. "It's exactly what you've always wanted. You want to be my right hand, don't you?" His words held a hypnotic quality, and you felt your resistance fading. The idea of being his trusted confidant, his right-hand man, began to take root in your mind, pushing aside your old identity. "Tell me, who are you?" Marcus's voice was soft, almost tender. "Golden Boy," you heard yourself say, the words flowing effortlessly. "Your right hand. The epitome of future success." As Marcus buttons up the shirt, his fingers brushing against your skin, you feel a surge of loyalty and desire to please him. The thought of being his right hand, of being an integral part of his empire, is exhilarating. The last remnants of your past life seemed to drift away, like a fading dream and a new identity is being forged, one that is charismatic, confident, and utterly devoted to Marcus. You were no longer the rebellious outsider; you were Golden Boy, a name that now felt like a perfect fit.

The door clicks open, and Jennifer enters, her eyes flickering between you and Marcus. "Do you want to pay cash or by card for my witchcraft?" she asks, her voice laced with satisfaction. Marcus reaches into his pocket and produces a thick wad of bills, handing them to Jennifer with a satisfied grin. "You've exceeded my expectations. I'm impressed, Jennifer." You watch as Jennifer takes the money, her eyes sparkling with triumph. As she turns to leave, you point at her, confusion clouding your mind. "Do I know her?" Marcus's laughter fills the room, warm and rich. "No, Golden Boy. She is a part of your past, and your past no longer holds any significance. Focus on your future, on our future." And in that moment, you knew he was right. Your past life, your struggles, and even your memories were fading into the void. All that mattered was your new identity, your role as Golden Boy, and your mentor, Marcus. As you walked past the reception, Jennifer's eyes followed you. She couldn't help but notice the change. Your stride was confident, your posture proud, and your attire exuded the old-money style.

A vain smirk played on your lips, and Marcus' possessive hand rested on your shoulder. *How sweet you look now, Golden Boy,* Jennifer thought, a hint of satisfaction in her smile. *Nomen est Omen. You should have known better than to cross a witch, back in high school.* But you didn't hear her. Your mind was already focused on the future, on the success that awaited you, and on the powerful man by your side. The old you is gone, and in his place stands a man with a purpose, a man ready to conquer the world at Marcus's side. You were Golden Boy, and nothing else mattered.