#so many of my friends have eldest daughter syndrome

[brochacho]

[sassmill]

I haven’t looked in on the unfinished side of our basement in a while and… my dad’s hoarding has actually gotten significantly worse. And we just heard from my grandfather last night that he’s pretty sure my grandmother is going to pass soon. And when that happens, my father’s hoarding is absolutely not going to get better. So. That’s a lot. I brought it up to my mom and she told ME to research psychiatrists that specialize in hoarding. It’s a very eldest daughter kind of day.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Hey, I have DpxDc God Au prompt for you: Dani is the goddess of untraditional families, traveling, clones, and lost (emotionally and locationwise, not deathwise) children. She becomes a patron to many people (mostly kids and teenagers) struggling in the hero community and otherwise and comes to help them in times of emotional turmoil. Kon is one of her followers/friends, the speedsters pray to her for multiple reasons, and Billy and her sometimes hang out. Danny is the god of protection, space, revival, and neglected and lost children (emotionally and those who died before they reached adulthood). He also ends up becoming a patron for many heroes and abused kids. He helps Jason out when he dies young and gets revived. (Bruce prays to Danny for Jason when he dies to beg Danny to help Jason find peace in the afterlife if there is one). Danny also befriends Tim when he’s all alone in Drake Manor and keeps him company when he can and helps him survive. Dan on the other hand is the god of apocalyptic futures (and alternate and future evil selves), repentance and redemption, aggression, and devastation (emotional and deathwise). He doesn’t want most of his domains to be so dark, but it’s weird how much overlap there is between the same people praying to him along with Danny and Danielle. (SO many heroes have apocalyptic future/evil selves and have done terrible things. Example: Tim: Evil future gun batman and Jason: Aggression and Repentance/Redemption. They would definitely pray to Dan just in case). They’re all pretty respected gods who have been known for ages, worshiped, who actually help not just their followers but those who need their help that fall in their domains. The mythology got a bit weird throughout history, but the Dan(y/i)s were generally thought to be benevolent sibling/triplet gods. Jazz didn’t have enough power to ascend to goddesshood, but she was a patron spirit of psychology and mental health, and low-key a patron of people with eldest daughter syndrome (Looking at you, Dick). Then of course there’s Vlad. Mostly creeps want to pray to Vlad. He’s thought of as more of a predatory demon than a god, he has never been known as benevolent. He embodies most if not all of the seven deadly sins and his domains and immorality reflect that. He is the god of theft, power, greed, lust, cheating, obsession, ego, twisted family, immorality, corruption, envy, and vengeance. He has more domains than the Dan(i/y)s either because he was depicted so negatively from all of his schemes that people just gave him all the dark domains, or because he stole several artifacts and found some loopholes to get more power for himself. The Dan(ny/i)s stand together as one to protect the world from Vlad’s immorality, however there are some moments where Vlad helps starving children steal food or things they need to live, helps people to steal medicine they can’t afford to bring to a sick loved one. He gives self esteem and confidence to those who pray for it that struggle with self worth or mental illness. So yes, he is a more morally bankrupt god, but he has his good moments. Anyways, please write more of this prompt in whatever way you see fit. It could be stuff from the batfamily’s and/or halfas perspective as the years go by and they interact with the gods or something like that as vigilantes and as civilians, or you can write scenes out with the hero community or batfam discussing the little pantheon or whatever, or go into further detail with my examples, have conflict between the Dan(i/y)s and Vlad, change things up, or anything you want. Thank you!

Wonder Woman watches as Nightwing very claps his hands, bows his head, and mutters under his breath. The language is one she is not fluent with but has started to learn over the years in her time of man.

Esperanto.

She can pick out a few words. Enough to know that Nightwing is sending a prayer and hopes of a "Older Sibling" patron saint. He wants her to keep a eye over his younger siblings and to offer him "inner- peace".

Diana is aware that all of Bruce's children, minus Dick, are out on extremely dangerous missions. Dick had been benched due to an injury he sustained in the last confrontation. He was sent to the watch tower were a team of trusted surgeons had operated on his leg.

He would be fine in time but it would be a long wait before he would be ready to go out to the feild.

Understanding that he needed guidance from his gods, she waited paintently for him to finish, taking a few steps away from the doorway of his recovery room so as not to overhear any further prayers. A conversation between gods and man should remain private.

As she leaned on the wall outside, she wondered—not for the first time—who the Bats prayed to. Athena and Aphrodite would always have her loyalty, but she acknowledged that there were gods outside of her own.

She met some of them.

And while she had never seen the Bats or anyone else from Gotham's gods, she knew they were worshiped and believed as much as her sisters loved on Themyscira. It would be rude to ask about them, when she would never offer the gods of Gotham any offerings, so she refraimed but she wondered.

Oh she wondered.

She had witnessed Bruce pray to one of them, usually after a complex case involving children. He never mentions the god by name, but much like Nightwing, he clasps his hands, bows his head, and mutters that rhythmic language. Once, he even saw him place a star carved from one of the stones of his historical home by the window of the watch tower.

He had engraved all his children's hero names into it and allowed the moon to power it with protection.

Jason prayed as well, but not as profoundly as his family. He was Catholic growing up, and his mother often refused to have him pray to another god despite everyone else in Gotham doing so. He only did so as Red Hood because, according to Jason, that was the only time he needed Dan or Vlad.

Diana wondered if those were gods or people in his gang. Jason did not say their names with the same reverence as she did her gods.

Tim, on the other hand, took his Gotham-based region very seriously and had an entire timesheet of proper prayers. He did not pray every day nor did he stop what he was doing in order to do so, but he made it very clear that he would not be availbe three times a week for religious purposes.

Short of an emergency, those three hours every week were dedicated to his rituals for all of Gotham's gods. Diana knows that Steph, Barbara, Cass and Bruce would join only one of those three hours for their own god prefernce.

Despite that however, they were not very religious and often she wondered if the Bats were more atheists. Maybe meeting the gods and fighting some of them had the people of Gotham numb to the faith.

Or Gotham had the practices for such a long time that it became a background, much like tax season. Diana had noticed that despite the prayers and the dedication, the Bats treated their gods much like suppursitations to do before a big game.

It was a odd system to her, but once again, the "Gotham's Stars and Shadows" were not her gods. She did not have enough information to make any sort of statement about them.

Maybe they preferred to be treated as superstitions? Or maybe they liked to be close to their followers to the point they saw them the same way they did decorating their bedrooms? - A form of self-expression but not true faith.

A cold breeze blew by her, shocking Diana into a combat formation. There shouldn't be any wind up here. They are in space.

A whispered laugh echos down the hall, and for a brief moment she senses a god. Falling to her knee just in case, she stares towards the laughter watching a quick outling of a woman with flaming hair and a young girl in a black pony tale laugh and skip.

In their hands are carved stares, glowing green.

They vanish just as quickly as they appeared, but she knows who they were without having to call out to them.

"Diana?" Dick says from the doorway, pushing his wheelchair. "Are you alright?"

"Yes. I am." She smoothly slide up to her feet smiling at him in what she hopes is comforting. "Have you finished speaking to yoyr gods."

"Yeah I hope they protect my siblings and help find Kon."

She thinks of the laughing ladies "I assume they will."

An hour later, Kon is recovered, and Tim miraculously escapes death due to strong wind and a conveniently thrown traveling map into his attacker's face. Diana witness the superman clone add a stone form Kent Farm to the one by Batman's in the watchtower.

It has the words Red Robin carved within a heart. She smiles.

[kamaluhkhan]

all the love we had and lost

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: lots of plot + flashbacks. angst with fluff in betweem. slightly suggestive dialogue/situations but nothing more than the actual show, a guy being pushy about hooking up with reader but nothing happens, mention of injuries and blood throughout, hints of alcoholism, brief mention of dieting (reader is competitive swimmer and deals with certain pressures from that), reader gets her period, takes on too much responsibility and argues with her mother (aka eldest daughter syndrome)

tags: @stargirlsirius-recs, @ifilwtmfc, @qwertyb2577, @allnrsnz, @baconeggndcheez, @peanutbelley, @imogen-skye, @geekinthefuschiahair, @tvije,

a/n: thank you thank you thank you for so much love on my first conrad fic!! i'm so excited to share the rest of the series, so stay tuned :))

read part one here

the best friends of our childhoods are the loves of our lives, and they break our hearts in the worse ways. (fredrik backman)

now — summer, age 18

you throw in some extra sprinkles, along with a few more tablespoons of sugar. belly has a huge sweet tooth. it's the night before her birthday, and you're in the kitchen at the fisher's house baking her coconut confetti cupcakes. 

born on june 21st — the summer solstice — belly conklin is the definition of a summer child. she's summer, personified: sunshine, sweet tea, sand, and smiles. having missed so many birthday celebrations, you’re determined to make this year special.

you go to the fridge to grab some eggs, and when you close the door, you're startled by the person standing behind it.

"what are you doing here?" you ask, holding a hand to your chest and setting the carton of eggs on the counter. the joy you felt making birthday cupcakes for belly fades away, replaced with a tingling in your chest. you and conrad hadn’t spoken more than three sentences to each other, or even been in the same room alone, since that morning on the beach. as the distance between the two of you grew, so did your frustration at him. 

conrad raises his eyebrow at you. he reaches around you into the fridge and pulls out a beer. 

"i should be asking you that." 

"the oven at my house is broken and your mom said i could come over."

“i’ve heard that one before,” he mumbles as he leaves the kitchen. you almost can’t believe he brought it up, even if just in a passing, somewhat snarky remark. conrad probably thought you didn’t hear.

these past few weeks, conrad hasn't just been cold towards you — which was a relief as much as it was heart wrenching. he seems more closed off in general, more inclined to spend time with others who hadn't seen him grow up. in fact, you imagine he’s on his way to see nicole now. maybe with her, he can pretend everything is fine. but not with the people in this house, who knew him inside and out.

you would never admit it — if conrad wants to ignore you, you could ignore him just fine — but it was eating you up inside, and it took everything in you not to confront him, to comfort him about whatever he was going through. you’d have arguments when you were kids, but it was nothing a ring pop or tub of cherry jello couldn’t solve. this time is different; the wound is deeper, harder to heal.

you wanted the old conrad back: the sweet boy who cared for you and let you care for him in return. 

then — summer, age 14

belly was turning 12, and you wanted to surprise her with homemade cupcakes for breakfast. only, the oven at your house was broken, which meant your intention of baking her birthday treats would have fallen through, if not for susannah’s ever-present generosity. 

everyone else was out of the house — you even asked laurel and susannah to take belly shopping to not ruin the surprise. you were decorating the cupcakes when conrad walked in from the deck. his wet hair stuck to his forehead and he was wearing a rash guard, so he probably got back from surfing. he looked paler than usual, even after being in the sun for hours, but you didn’t think much of it at first.

“hey,” he greeted, sounding slightly out of breath. “what are you doing here?” 

“the oven at my house is broken, so your mom said i can come over to bake these for belly’s birthday tomorrow.” you gestured at the clumsily decorated treats. the cupcakes had bright pink frosting and rainbow sprinkles. you weren’t a professional by any means, but knew that belly would love them.

“but i’m sure she wouldn’t miss one or two, if you wanna try one,” you offered, smiling at conrad.

he smiled back, though it didn’t reach his eyes. “yeah. yeah, let’s do that. i’m just gonna get changed first.”

conrad walked past you, and that’s when you noticed him limping — along with a bloody gash just below his left knee.

you instantly dropped the spatula back into the half-empty frosting bowl.

“connie, what the hell happened?”

“i’m fine,” he answered. “i wiped out, got cut by the fin of my board.” conrad must have noticed your eyes widened with worry because he grabbed your wrist gently, thumb rubbing soothingly on your pulse point. he was bleeding out on the kitchen floor, and there he was, trying to make sure you were okay. 

“i’m fine,” he reassured. 

the blood dripping down his leg suggested otherwise. years ago conrad would faint at the sight of blood, and though he’d mostly outgrown that, you knew it still made him queasy. you imagined the pain definitely wasn’t making it easier. without another word, you pulled him into the bathroom and made him sit on the edge of the bathtub. you washed your hands then sat cross-legged in front of him.

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” he smirked as he watched you gather supplies from the cabinet underneath the sink, your brows furrowed in concentration.

“what?” you paused, almost laughing. until you saw his wound again, and you got back to work.

“it’s from the hunger games,” he explained. “when katniss finds peeta in the arena? and he’s all, like, injured.”

“well, he was definitely in worse shape than you,” you assured. “your cut’s not that deep, it just looks bad.”

“it doesn’t feel great, either.”

conrad exhaled sharply when you started applying pressure to his leg with a damp washcloth. you placed your other hand on his right knee.

“it’ll be fine, connie. i’ve got you. keep your eyes on me, okay?”

he looked down at you, wet hair framing his face as he offered a short nod. 

you gestured at him to take over, and your fingers brushed together when he grabbed the washcloth, but he never looked down. his eyes still followed you as you searched the bathroom for something to cover his wound.

a comfortable silence followed. the two of you used to spend hours talking, sure, but what you loved about spending time with conrad is that silence didn't bother him. you could each be in your own worlds while in the comfort of each other's company, and that was enough.

once the wound was cleaned and the bleeding slowed down, you placed a gauze pad over his cut before wrapping a cloth bandage around it.

“i’m pretty sure it’s ‘you here to finish me off, sweetheart?’,” you remembered.

conrad shook his head. “i’m pretty sure it’s not. i’ve read the book like, three times.”

you move to sit next to him on the edge of the tub.

“how sure are you, connie? because i’m pretty damn sure.”

conrad shrugged. “i’m pretty damn sure, too.” 

you rolled your eyes, but with a smile. “okay, fine. we’ll check. but, when you see how wrong you are, you have to come with me to see jaws 2.” it was playing at the local movie theatre during their weekly throwback thursday — you and belly had seen it advertised on your way home from getting ice cream. you had wanted to ask conrad, but couldn’t find the right time.

because you hadn’t meant it to be a date, but you also hadn’t not meant it to be. something changed about how you felt towards conrad that summer; or, maybe, you just figured out what was different about the love you felt towards him compared to everyone else. 

(yes, love. again, something you would never admit.)

you thought maybe — maybe he felt it too. there was something different in the way he teased you, laughed with you, looked at you when he thought you couldn’t notice.

you did notice. it happened so much that eventually you decided that either it was all in your head and he didn’t love you that way, or he was also scared of what would happen if he did. which, to be fair, was the position you were in. you were very scared of what would happen if you crossed that line.

“i’ll agree to that,” conrad said. “if you agree to having a picnic with me on the beach. if i have to face my fear of sharks, then you have to face your fear of angry seagulls stealing your food.”

a picnic on the beach. you wondered if this was conrad’s way of subtly asking you on a date. did he also want to cross that line, become something other than friends? he looked at you so eagerly, you hoped he did.

“fine.” you held out your hand. “but you have to protect me from angry seagulls.”

conrad smiled at you brightly as he grasped your hand. 

“always.” 

in the end, conrad lost the bet. the screening of jaws 2 was cancelled, so you rented it from the video store instead. you got his favourite movie snacks, and some of yours as well, and made sure the couch had the comfiest pillows and the warmest blanket. you felt butterflies just thinking about the two of you watching together, cuddling on the couch. 

when the time came though, your plans fell through. the playdates your siblings had lined up both cancelled. your mother had plans to meet a friend at the bar, and claimed she couldn't reschedule. by then your parents were divorced and your father was elsewhere with his new girlfriend, so it fell to you to babysit your siblings.

conrad came over anyway: he helped you make rice and lentils for dinner, convinced your brother to eat his vegetables, and let your sister paint his nails. the four of you watched night at the museum and ate all the junk food you had gotten, with you and conrad sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but stealing glances and shy smiles at each other. when your mother came home, a bit after midnight and a little tipsy, she got angry that you’d kept the twins up so late and cheated on the diet she had so carefully planned for you — to keep you in shape for swimming, she claimed. you rolled your eyes, and that made her angrier. without you saying anything, conrad took the twins upstairs to get ready for bed as you and your mother argued. by the time conrad walked back downstairs, your mother had gone into the living room for another drink and you were in tears. he asked if you were okay, and you told him to go home.

you never talked about that night again, and everything went back to the way it was: with neither of you crossing that line.

now

the only reason you let belly drag you to nicole’s party is because it’s her birthday. 

as soon as you enter the house, nicole and the other debutantes whisk belly away to a table filled with elaborate cakes. you can’t help but feel slightly embarrassed by how elegant they look in comparison to the cupcakes you made her. 

"come on," taylor groans. "let's get a drink."

taylor grabs two beers and hands one to you. you gratefully accept. the two of you catch up for a bit, when suddenly jeremiah starts serenading belly in an outrageously funny musical number. you laugh along with them, until you catch a glimpse of conrad with nicole on the couch at the other end of the room. nicole is sitting in conrad's lap, and she leans over to whisper something in his ear before kissing his cheek. your entire body heats up.

conrad was right before: you were jealous. as frustrated as you were with him, you were even angrier at yourself for feeling that way. 

"i’m gonna go find the bathroom!” taylor says, practically shouting over the music. 

"okay!” you yell back. “i’m gonna go get another drink." 

you know all too well that it isn’t a good habit to get into, but you need something stronger if you’re going to survive this party. you examine the drink table, finally picking out some mediocre tequila. you take a shot, then another.

“tequila. my kind of girl.” someone declares, creeping up behind you. 

it’s a terrible pick up line, and you already have a feeling that the guy trying to flirt with you is some rich entitled asshole. 

but, the guy — liam — can hold a decent conversation, and he’s cute enough.

he’s no conrad, though. you take another shot when that thought crosses your mind, and force yourself to flirt with leo. liam. right, liam.

liam leans in close, pretends to listen to you, lets his gaze linger on the deep v-neck of your shirt. you’re so close, you can smell the alcohol on his breath. 

“five minutes,” you boast after he asks how long you can hold your breath underwater. somehow, the conversation veered towards your time as a competitive swimmer. you’re just the right amount of tipsy that your inhibitions start fading away.

“wow,” liam says. “i have to say, i’m glad you didn’t have that training camp this summer.”

you bat your eyelashes at him. “oh? why is that?” you lean closer, trailing a finger down his chest.

“because then i wouldn’t be able to do this.” 

liam kisses you then, and you kiss back. he slides his tongue in your mouth, runs his hands over your body. you feel nothing. it’s fine.

“let's go upstairs.”

liam’s grabbing your wrist before you have a chance to answer. as he tries to tug you up the stairs, your eyes meet conrad’s from across the room.

suddenly, you feel nauseous. you rip away from liam’s grip and place a hand on the wall next to you to steady yourself.

liam turns around sharply. “what is it?”

“i changed my mind, actually. let’s just hang out downstairs.”

liam grabs your wrist again, his grip tighter than before. “don’t be a tease.” 

this time, your voice comes out louder. “i just changed my mind. that doesn’t make me a tease.”

“don’t be a bitch, then,” he scoffs, and you’re this close to breaking this guy’s nose. “do you wanna fuck, or not?”

“i don’t,” you answer instantly, struggling to break free from his grip. 

“okay, whatever. we don’t have to go all the way, but we can still go upstairs, and have a good time.”

he manages to drag you up two steps as you strain against his iron grip, now almost cutting off your circulation. your heartbeat quickens and you feel dizzy. finally, you grab onto the railing for leverage, forcing liam to stop in his tracks.

“what is it now?” he groans.

“just stop, liam.”

“listen,” he starts, speaking to you almost mockingly, like you’re a naive little girl. “i know what girls want, so you don’t have to be shy. we’re going upstairs right now and —”

“liam, is it?” the rest of the party is in full motion, but here’s belly, giving liam one of the most intense death stares you’ve ever seen. belly, who if you cut open, would bleed sugar. “i’m gonna have to ask you to let go of my friend.”

“whatever,” liam answers, rolling his eyes. “if you don’t mind, we’re kinda in the middle of something.” he tries to move you forward, but you stand your ground.

jeremiah is also glaring at liam from the bottom of the stairs, his golden retriever personality long gone. “back off, man,” he warns.

“just mind your own business,” liam snaps.

“they said leave her alone,” steven asserts, walking over once he sees what’s happening. “and you don’t wanna mess with us, trust me.” he clenches his hand into a fist as if proving a point.

in other situations, you and belly have definitely teased steven for his tendency to act all tough, but right now, you couldn’t be more grateful.

“who the fuck are you? her bodyguards?” 

“just let her go,” belly orders. 

“i think she can speak for herself. she wants this, but if you’re jealous, you can join, too.” 

your stomach churns. liam leans in close to whisper in your ear. “maybe we’ll see if those 5 minutes come in handy when you’re sucking my —”

as soon as liam lets go of your wrist, his hand trailing downward, you shove him away and punch him in the nose before he can finish his sentence. you deliver a final blow to liam’s ego as he’s doubled over:

“what i want is for you to leave us the fuck alone. there are other people in this house who i’d rather hook up with. people who aren’t complete assholes with fancy cars to compensate for their tiny dick.”

the flirtatious smile falls from liam’s face, replaced with the kind of anger only rich entitled assholes have when they don’t get what they want — figures that he only gets the hint when it literally hits him right in the nose. he’s angry enough to deliver a punch right back to your face. 

you hear a crack upon impact, and pain radiates from your nose. you fall down the stairs, but belly manages to catch you before you hit the ground. she holds you as jeremiah and steven step in front. you hear them shouting at liam over the music, but their exact words don’t register.

you lick your lips, tasting blood. your ears are ringing, and the room is suddenly all fuzzy.

“i’ve got her.” conrad’s calm and measured voice cuts through the chaos. you feel a strong, familiar arm wrap around your waist. “go find cam — the rest of us have been drinking, but he can drive her home.”

somehow, you find yourself in a bathroom, sitting on the counter as conrad stands between your legs. he carefully examines your injury, but you notice how he avoids making eye contact. 

you feel your head spinning all over again. maybe it’s the alcohol, or the adrenaline, or the fact that the two of you haven’t been this close in a while — probably a dangerous mix of all three. 

“you here to fix me up, sweetheart?” the question slips past your lips before you could stop it.

conrad looks slightly amused, and he finally meets your gaze. “that’s not the line,” he deadpans. you know (from trying not to but ultimately not being able to pull your attention away from him all night) that he’s had a few drinks as well; it seems like the two of you ignore each other best when you’re sober.

but, still, he remembers. his comment earlier and his smile right now is all the confirmation you need: somewhere in the back of his mind, he replays memories of you. no matter how cold he acts towards you, he still cares.

he continues wiping the blood off your face. “how’s your hand?” he asks.

you flex your fingers, inspect your hand. “it’s been better,” you answer, though your knuckles are slightly aching. “worth it.”

“i guess all those years away made you a badass.”

all those years away. the reminder feels like a stab to the heart, but you wouldn’t let it burst the comfortable bubble you and conrad had somehow stumbled into. 

instead, you offer him a lopsided smile.

“oh, connie,” the nickname rolling off your tongue with ease. “i was always a badass.”

“yeah, yeah. but it’s different now. you’re different.” he pauses. you’re worried he’s going to say something else. 

but he doesn’t. instead, he asks, jokingly: “did you join a fight club or something?” 

you take that as a good sign: like you, he’s trying to preserve the playfulness between you before everything else seeps in and ruins it, before you’re brought back to the present, where you’re both heartbroken and not talking to each other. 

“you know the first rule of fight club —”

“don’t talk about fight club,” you finish together. 

conrad laughs, even though it’s not that funny. you laugh, too. 

a silence falls over you, one that’s not unfamiliar, but not entirely comfortable either. conrad holds the cloth against your nose to make sure the bleeding stopped. 

it seemed to be a strange pattern between you two — being there for each other when you bleed.

then — summer, age 12

it was the end of july when you got your first period. 

you had made lunch for your siblings and walked them to their day camp, when you suddenly felt an ache in your abdomen. that ache turned into a sharp pain by the time you got home, and you ran to the bathroom to confirm what you’d suspected. 

that afternoon, mr. conklin was taking all the kids to mini golf, but you weren’t feeling up for it. you texted belly about what happened and spent the rest of the day curled up in bed.

you didn’t hear him knock over the sound of the movie you were watching, but suddenly you saw conrad standing by your door, holding a bag from the candy shop. 

“jesus, connie, you scared me!” you exclaimed, pausing the movie. 

he smiled sheepishly and flopped down on the bed next to you. “belly told me you weren’t feeling well. here.” he handed you the bag. 

you opened the bag, grateful that conrad picked out your favourite treats. you take one and bite into it. your stomach growled — you hadn’t eaten earlier because you felt nauseous, but now you could eat that entire bag in one go.

“how was mini golf?” you asked, popping another treat into your mouth.

“it was awesome! i finally managed to get past that giant hippo and get a hole-in-one. i got the highest score.”

you frown, wishing you had been there. if anything, to beat conrad’s score. 

“don’t worry, we’ll go back another time,” conrad added. “you can beat me then.” sometimes, you swore conrad could read your mind. he then asked if you were feeling better.

“no. i got my period,” you huffed. “it sucks.”

“oh.” conrad adjusted his glasses, a sign that he felt awkward. “i’ve heard about those. they sound pretty brutal.”

“health class?”

“no. my mom, actually.”

health class wasn’t much help for you either, and neither was your mother. you were lucky enough to have susannah and laurel, who had explained everything to you and belly. 

“anyway, what are you watching?”

“the hunger games,” you answer. “i just finished the book.”

“cool.” 

conrad didn’t move — he actually leaned back against the pillows even more — so you figured he wanted to stay. you moved the laptop so it sat between the two of you and started playing the movie again.

“you know, it doesn’t seem fair that you miss out on having fun just because of your period,” conrad said as katniss finds peeta injured in the arena.

you frown, about to point out that he has no idea how painful cramps can be.

he lifted his hand up to stop you. “not that i can judge what you’re going through. i’m just saying when it’s this bad, instead of being alone, just text me, and i’ll be there.”

when the time came, he watched movies with you in bed. he brought you junk food and pain killers. he even biked to the store when you’d run out of pads.

he was there for you, just like he promised.

now

those moments from past summers now feel warm and sickly sweet, like popsicles melting in the sun — then again, that might just be the remnants of tequila flowing through your veins. you think about what happened earlier, how belly, jeremiah, and steven stepped in to protect you. how conrad is here with you now, taking care of you so tenderly even after you’ve ignored each for so long. it’s like nothing changed. but once you leave this bathroom and the alcohol leaves your system, it wouldn’t be the same. you feared you'd never get that magic back, and that weighed on your chest so much, you felt like you couldn’t breathe.

“why’d you go for liam, anyway?” conrad asks, breaking you away from your thoughts. he removes the cloth from your nose so you can answer, and the bleeding seems to have finally stopped.

“you really wanna know?”

“yeah. liam’s an asshole. and you’re…” conrad places his hands on either side of your thighs, leaning close. “you.”

“i went for liam because….well, honestly, i didn’t care who it was, as long as they made me forget you,” you admit, because what did you have to lose. you probably have a broken nose, you definitely have blood on your shirt, and your time with conrad is running out. 

conrad’s eyes darken. his fingers start to play with the hem of your shorts. 

“did it work?” his voice is a whisper, but he’s so close that it’s crystal clear.

“no.”

it’s hard to determine who leans in first, but soon enough your lips are on conrad’s. it's not the most elegant kiss — it's messy, urgent, with your noses bumping together, and teeth clacking against each other. he cradles your face in his hands, and you wrap your legs around his waist to bring him closer. you taste beer on his tongue, and maybe a hint of lime, but it’s overwhelmed by the salty, metallic taste of blood stained on your lips. you tangle your hands into his hair, and you swallow his moan as you gently tug. it’s clearer now: you’re not dizzy from the alcohol or adrenaline, but dizzy from him.

when you run out of air, feeling like your lungs could burst, you pull away. conrad’s gaze is heavy on yours as he traces your top lip with his thumb.

“connie,” you whimper, itching to kiss him again. 

“you’re still bleeding.”

conrad wipes away your blood with the cuff of his flannel. before either of you can do or say anything more, there’s a knock on the door. jeremiah, letting you know that it’s time to go. 

and, just like that, the moment is gone. 

a few days later, belly invites you over for a girl’s night. you paint each other’s nails, eat sour candy, and watch rom coms, just like you used to. she updates you on debutante season, the argument she had with taylor, and her blossoming feelings for jeremiah. you let it slip that you and conrad kissed at nicole’s party, though you admit you aren’t sure what it means — as if you hadn’t spent hours and hours thinking about the kiss, about him. belly gives you a knowing smile, but you change the subject before she can comment any further.

you’re halfway through 10 things i hate about you when belly falls asleep. you grab your phone, deciding to finally reach out to conrad, when you get a text from him.

he’s already on the dock when you arrive, looking out onto the water. 

“hey,” you greet as you stand next to him. “i was actually about to text you —”

“did you tell belly that we kissed?” he interrupts. you can’t quite read his expression as he waits for you to answer.

“no, i didn’t,” you lie. “but…would it matter if i did?”

“well, i mean, belly’s close to nicole and i don’t want her finding out," conrad explains. his words are deliberate, and you suspect he'd spent some time perfecting what to say to you. so far, you didn't like where this was going. conrad delivers another blow:

"it’s not like it meant anything.”

you feel like you could shatter into a million pieces right then and there.

“it didn’t?” you hate how fragile your voice sounds, compared to conrad’s stoic demeanor.

conrad shrugs. “i mean, we were both drunk and the thing with liam happened, so we just got caught up in the heat of the moment.” 

“you’re saying there’s nothing between us, then? nothing other than friendship?”

he turned away before he answered. “no. nothing.”

“then what about last summer?” you demand. you force yourself to keep it together, your tone firmer than before. “i guess that didn’t mean anything, either.”

“y/n…” he pauses, and you know you caught him off guard. “i don’t know what you want me to say. we’re barely even friends anymore. you come back here, after all this time, after so much shit has happened, and expect us all to drop everything to fit you back into our lives. but, you don't. we moved on. i moved on, and i can’t deal with you —" 

“got it,” you snap, already turning to walk away. “loud and fucking clear, conrad.” 

it’s not like it meant anything. we’re barely even friends anymore.

you replay conrad’s words as you crawl into bed next to belly, holding back tears as to not disturb her sleep.

you decide then that you didn’t love conrad anymore. you couldn’t because it would eat you up inside. 

then again, it doesn't seem like hating him would be any easier.

[the-swift-tricker]

breaking down the members of the batfam:

bruce wayne (emotionally repressed autistic dad/tired but loving/"i'd die for you. ask me to die for you.")

alfred pennyworth (beloved grandfather and backbone of the house/"cool you were in the circus too alfie?" "a different type of circus master richard"/the most flexible on the whole no killing rule thing)

dick grayson (embarrassing "stay silly" older brother/eldest child/self-titled "bruce's little angel")

barbara gordon (adopted bruce more than he adopted her/this family would not survive without her it support/only one who knows how to work the router)

jason todd (the try hard wanna be cool accidentally cool but not in the way he meant brother)

tim drake (gifted child syndrome overachiever middle-child-and-mentally-ill-about-it bisexual nerd)

damian wayne (asshole baby man with a heart of absolute gold and a closet full of swords/tiny and feral/why does he have so many swords??)

stephanie brown (the goldilocks of the family/showed up one day and refused to leave/heartbreaker/know-nothing know-it-all, "get your feet of the furniture, stephanie")

cassandra cain (the darling daughter/autistic queen/"cuddled nicely" and "bit my ass" rolled into one/don't look directly at her too long or you'll fall in love)

duke thomas ("finally someone normal around here"/"oh no he's just as bad"/the day shift/probably does way too many light related puns)

selina kyle ("hot milfs in your area"/bruce's lover on the down low that literally everyone knows about/enamored by his autistic swagger/not married to bruce but would take the kids in the event of divorce)

kate kane (fucking rad lesbian wine aunt/kicker of ass, spoiler of nephews and nieces)

harper row ("alfred where did this punk child come from?"/"SHE'S GOTTA GUN"/best music taste out of any of them/once turned a lawn mower into a drag car/it was awesome)

lucius fox (other grandpa/ twead wearing dad/"bruce you need to pay your taxes"/"bruce getting shot point blank in the back is not advisable"/"bruce the hague tends to frown on child soldiers")

lucas fox (conceivably he should be smarter than getting mixed up in all this/still got mixed up in all this/"don't you think batwings a little too...on the nose?" "says the guy that calls himself batman")

helena bertinelli (cranky cousin that is beloved by a few and feared by all/"why doesn't her boyfriend have a face?"/"SHE'S GOTTA CROSSBOW!")

harley quinn (bisexual vodka aunt that's really just bruce's friend from college/has invited herself over for every hanukkah ever since finding out bruce is jewish too)

[siampie]

Get Off the Highway || Chapter 7

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Plus Size Reader

Word Count: 1.5 k 

Warnings/tags: Enemies to lovers trope, angst, childhood trauma, eldest daughter syndrome

A/N: Just a little light chapter. Reblogs, likes and comments are appreciated.

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Dividers by @cafekitsune

You were bopping your head at a tune playing in your mind while cooking. Lost in your own bubble, you didn’t see Dean walking into the kitchen, drawn there by the smell of the food. You had remained at the bunker for a few more days, in spite of your numerous spats with Dean.

“Whatcha you’re cooking, princess?”

You gasped at his question, your hand flying to your chest. “Wear a fucking bell, bucko.” You glared at him. “Stop sneaking up on me.”

You and Dean Winchester had become somewhat cordial in the few days you had stayed at the bunker. Especially, after your nightmare. Who would have thought that one drink could solve conflicts? Now, the bickering had not stopped entirely but they were less—hostile. Somewhat, they were almost friendly, dared you say?

He grabbed the spoon on the counter, “it’s not my fault if you couldn’t hear me.” And scooped up some of the sauce.  

“Hey!” You protested as he brought the spoon to his mouth, “I hope it burns your tongue.” He smacked his lips a few times after slurping some of the sauce. “So?”

He shrugged, “not bad,” he placed the spoon back on the counter.

“Not bad?” You repeated, wounded in your pride. “It’s excellent. Perfect. The best curry I’ve cooked in a while. And all you gotta say is; not bad. How dare you?”

“I’ve had better.” Dean continued with a smirk.

“Where? In a burger joint?” You shot back, “you wouldn’t know good cuisine even if it was staring at you in the face. Get out of my kitchen, away with you.”  

Dean raised his hands in a surrender manner, “no need to get your panties in a twist.”

“Not bad,” you grumbled under your breath.

Your moral had improved in the few days you remained there. Less anxious and depressed. You felt slightly better in your mind. There were many things you were still struggling with. But like most things, there were good and bad days.

And unfortunately, there had been more bad days, than there were good.

However, you couldn’t hide away in the bunker forever. You had to, eventually, go back real life. The job never truly stopped. And your brother had wanted to meet up with you, so, you had to leave for the time being.  

“Don’t be a stranger,” Sam bent down to give you a quick hug.

“I won’t,” you smiled at him and turned to Dean, “try not to miss me too much, Bucko.”

“I’ll do my best,” he replied with a smirk.

You lightly punched his shoulder, “see you guys on the road.”

Your brother had been waiting for you at your apartment. As soon as you stepped into your home, his eyes roamed over you, checking you up for any injuries.

“I’m fine,” you told him, rolling your eyes.

“Let me be the judge of that,” Matt shot back. “I mean you disappeared for days without texting me, once.” He scolded you. “So, yes, I’m gonna check if you’re alright.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” you told him. “I didn’t disappear, I was staying with friends.”

“Friends?” He frowned at you, confused. “You don’t have friends.”

“Rude.”

“Well, it’s true,” he shrugged. “The only person you talk to is me, and I’ve never heard you mention a friend before. Let alone, friends.”

“You’re done?” You glared at him, “and that wasn’t the point.”

“What was the point?”

“That I was fine and safe where I was, so you didn’t have to worry about me.”

Now, he was the one to glare at you, “easy for you to say. You’re not the one who stays behind, knowing all about the monsters you’re hunting. And how fast it could turn into a shit show. You are also not the one who gets to see your face, every time you come back all black and blue from a hunt.”

Your eyes fell shut at his outburst, guilt now blooming in your chest. You took a deep breath and turned to him. He was truly worried about you and you kept dismissing him. He was younger than you, and you’d practically raised him, but it felt nice to know that someone was worried about you. And only wanted you to be okay. You pulled him tightly into a hug.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized. “I didn’t mean to worry you; I’ll call more often. I promise.”

“You better,” he patted your back. “You’re my big sister, okay? I only got one like you, I’d love to keep you for as long as I can.”

You felt tears pressed against your eyes, your heart swelling with love for your younger brother. “I’ll do better.”

“I know.”

 He’d always been your greatest support. Probably because he was the one who had stayed the longest in the household after your siblings left to leave their own lives. He was your greatest support then, and still was to this day.

It was you and him against the world.

Once your brother was reassured of your wellbeing, and staying at your apartment for a few more days, you made the decision to get back on the road. In fact, Garth had required your help with a hunt close by.

You walked into the rundown diner, greeting a waitress walking by you with a smile. It wasn’t really busy, empty tables mostly. But a few patrons were sitting at the counter, regulars probably. Garth, sitting at the window, waved at you. Your lips tugged up at the corner as soon as you saw him.

Garth was one of those people who could just put a smile on anyone’s face. You didn’t know what it was about the guy, but he had a way to wove his way into your heart. And once he was lodged there, you couldn’t take him out. It was impossible.  

“It’s so good to see you,” Garth hugged you immediately.

“It’s good to see you, too,” you patted his back.

You nodded your thanks at the waitress who placed your order in front of you. “So, what do you need my help with?”

“A big bad wolf, not too far away from here.” Garth told you, “could do it on my own, but it might get ugly real fast. I thought I’ll ask for your help,” you stopped mid bite as he trailed off.

“My brother called you, didn’t he?”

“Andy,” Garth answered. “He’s worried and he’s not the only one.”

You took a bite out of your sandwich, “look,” you wiped your mouth, “I’m alright, there’s no need to worry about me. I’m fine.”   

“Well, sometimes you get a little too much into your own head,” Garth said, raising his hands in the air. “And starts spiraling into your own dark little pool.”

You looked at him as he was spitting facts at you. Garth always had a way to tell the uncomfortable truth, and to look unbothered by the reactions he would get. You hated it and loved it at the same time.

You swallowed the hard pill, “I just had a couple of rough days, but I’m fine.” He gave you a pitiful smile, that somehow bothered you greatly, “At least, I’m getting there.”

It was easy to pretend with Sam and Dean that everything was alright. But with Garth, things were different. It was as though he could read your mind or something. Since the day you met him, on that fateful night, he had been able to read through you. You hated it and at the same time, you felt seen somehow.

You weren’t sure how to feel about that.

“GARTH,” you cried as the werewolf pounced on his small frame. You rushed to your friend’s aid, the beast snapping his sharp teeth at him. Garth struggled to keep him away.  

You picked up the phone off of the ground and aimed it at the wolf, “hey, ugly!” You called, distracting the wolf, and pulled the trigger. The bullet hit his chest, and the wolf reared back, screaming in pain. Garth got back on his feet as fast as he could, his own gun back in his hands.

The werewolf growled at you, sneering almost. The silver bullet had hit his chest, but not his heart. Clearly, the monster was in pain. It didn’t stop him, though. You became his next victim; you took a step back as he stepped forward. He was faster than you, stronger than you. You had his attention, now what?

You aimed your gun at him once more. A shot rang. The werewolf let out a pained howl, gripping his chest. Before it turned back into a human, as it fell to the ground. Garth was standing behind him, smoke coming out of the gun he had just fired.

“You alright?” Garth asked you immediately.

You nodded, still shaken up by the near death, your eyes roaming his frame, checking him for any injuries. “You?”

“I’m good,” he nodded.

“Are you sure?” You questioned, before pointing to his shirt, “that looks like blood.”

“It’s not mine,” Garth assured you. “I’m fine.”

“Yeah, that was a close one,” you sighed. “Tell you what, we clean this up and I’ll take you out for a drink.”

“I thought you didn’t drink on weekdays?”

“You’re the exception to the rule,” you smiled at him. “Come on, let’s get to work.”

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[heymacy]

it's weekly tag game wednesday thursday! i was tagged (and/or mentioned) by so many sweethearts, namely @jrooc, @creepkinginc, @doshiart, @mybrainismelted, @deedala,

@gardenerian, @blue-disco-lights, @spookygingerr, @thepupperino, @stocious,

@vintagelacerosette, & @palepinkgoat 💛 I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH (and if i missed anyone bc of the glitch i am so, so sorry!!!)

how did you get into the fandom? a friend of mine on twitter DM’d me a gallavich compilation video in mid-2020 and said “i think you might really like this show” — i’d tried watching it before in 2018 but only made it to 1x06 which is a CRIME. can you imagine if i’d kept going? insanity. anyway. the worms got me, i made a new tumblr in october 2020, and the rest is history ✨

how long have you been here? 3.75 years and counting

what’s the first fandom channel you found? (Youtube, Reddit, Tumblr, Insta, Twitter, FB, other?) YouTube, then tumblr

what’s your favourite now? tumblr now and forever

which mutual have you known the longest in the fandom? @7x10mickey — hi lizzie! ily lizzie!

which tumblerino’s did you have your first fandom crush(es) on and wanted to get to know? funny you should ask! my very first fandom crush was the beautiful, talented, spectacular @gardenerian. i was mesmerized by their gifs and their playlists and wanted to be their friend so i messaged them requesting a gif set based on a song from the show. cut to 3.5 years later and i’m packing a suitcase to visit them for the second time in a month. life is funny like that!

first Gallavich fan fic you read (or that blew you away that you remember) The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Ian Gallagher by @goodkwuestion. read it in like 3 days flat. one of the best pieces of literature, fanfiction or other, that i’ve ever read

first fan art that blew your mind? i don’t remember exactly which one but it was definitely one by @steorie — one of the first artists i followed in the fandom!

fanfic trope that you were sure wasn’t for you but now you low key (or high key) love? echoing @deedala (who also knows how deep it goes) and saying SPORTS AU!!!!!! boy oh boy. i am IN THE TRENCHES

what surprised you most about this fandom? how kind and considerate everyone is. i’ve never been a part of a community that is so welcoming and warm and it makes me all fuzzy (positive)

moment in the show (or YT vids if you’re one of those) that you fell in hyperfixation with Gallavich? the club kiss (though i was fixated after 1x07 i will not lie to y’all)

ian or mickey? i’m saying both and you can’t stop me!!!!

which Gallagher or Milkovich are you? fiona. hot mess, waffle knit henley tees, dreams of owning a laundromat, comes from a chaotic family, eldest daughter syndrome, always ugly crying for one reason or another

tags below the cut!

@too-schoolforcool, @mmmichyyy, @transmickey, @sam-loves-seb, @darlingian,

@deathclassic, @energievie, @michellemisfit, @sleepyfacetoughguy, @sleepyheadgallavich,

@crossmydna, @tanktopgallavich, @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @the-rat-wins, @transmurderbug,

@lee-ow, @callivich, @kiinard, @sluttymickey, @thisdivorce,

@xninetiestrendx, @y0itsbri, @captainjowl, @arrowflier, @astaraels,

@ardent-fox, @wehangout, @gallapiech, @roryonic, @mickittotheman,

@jademickian, @solitarycreaturesthey, @spacerockwriting, & @rayrayor

[celaenaeiln]

Okay, so I've been scouring your blog these past few days, and ughh, it feels so good to find someone who actually seems to understand who Dick is! His eldest daughter complex is something I relate to so much, and was the thing that really drew me in. A lot of people look at the mediation and emotional weight lifting, (and those are huge parts of it, don't get me wrong,) but something else I find very eldest child is the way his own relationship with Bruce has continued to take hits all so Bruce can have better relationships with the others. Like when you're the oldest your parents make so many more mistakes with you. I also can't help but feel like it's got to be so hard as Dick to look at the way Bruce is with Tim/Dami/Cass, and wish that he could have that kind of relationship with his Dad. They want to be jealous of the trust, think he's the golden child, and yet at the same time, he's wishing he had something more resembling the true parent/child relationship the others got. (Idk maybe I'm projecting, but oh lord I go absolutely feral for eldest daughter Dick, it just hurts so good)

og post in reference

Yes! I'm so glad you brought that up!!

In terms of parenting, and why I don't really write about Bruce being a parent to Dick, is because Dick is kinda a guinea pig, as my engineering teacher put it once.

He was the Bruce's first for everything. First friend, first partner, first son - he just took responsibility for all roles. It makes things even worse because Bruce at the time he took in Dick, he had only been Batman for three years. Three. And he was literally drowning under the weight of the mask until he found Dick. There's a reason why Dick is Bruce's is right hand man and that's because Dick's been with him through everything. When Bruce was struggling and almost giving into his obsession, Dick was there to pull him out of it.

He quite literally mothered Bruce through his feelings, asking if everything was okay, what's wrong, watching him constantly and guaging his mood. This is exhausting work because Dick's mind was always on Bruce's mental state, much like a mother worried constantly about her teenage daughter or a father about his son.

That adoption scene where Dick asks Bruce, "why didn't you adopt me?" That's the realization of eldest daughter syndrome brought up.

Up until then, Dick was completely fine with being the caretaker for Bruce and lifting him up. He parented Bruce for so long and so smoothly, neither fully realized how much Dick was doing for him until he left. When Bruce adopts Jason, that's when Dick realizes there's something wrong with their dynamic.

I don't know if at that time Dick really wanted to be adopted or if he felt neglected because that he's wasn't while another was. But one thing he feels isn't jealousy, he's very clear on that, but Dick feels hurt.

Was there something he did wrong that caused Bruce to do that? What he do differently? What could he have done better? These types of questions constantly cloud his brain because he's gotten so used to taken care of his guardian for two decades now that he must feel hurt on some level even if he never expresses. He wouldn't begrudge his siblings because he feels happy Bruce isn't making the same mistakes to them that he did with Dick but at the same time, it's just exhausting for him.

Bruce might have improved but he isn't the best, so now he's busy taking care of both his brothers and sisters and his father. He also has to take care of his friends too.

He has the weight of the world on his shoulders but the worst part for him isn't the actual the weight - it's the realization that he's holding the weight. Because before he could live on in ignorance and bliss that Bruce was always going to be this way, and taking care of him would naturally just be Dick's job. He's so used to it, he's been doing it since he was eight.

But now, he knows what he's doing, he knows he's not supposed to, but he must. Because they rely on him, but also because that's what Bruce made him into. And I think that hurts the most for him.

He'll feel conflicted about it because on one hand, he loves Bruce. He loves him so much, he'll do anything for him. But also what about all those missed opportunities? Could he have been something different? Maybe he could've hung out with the Titans more if he didn't have to deal with bruce constantly demanding his presence. Maybe he could've joined a new class he never thought he would try.

Dick doesn't regret what he did and if he could go back in time, he would do it all over again but...he probably feels melancholic again. To love a parent so much you sacrifice your happiness over and over again so they can be happy while you're forced to grow up early. Dick's personality itself just lends itself to helping others but constantly taking care of your parent?

He's happy but he feels helpless and sad so he stays silent about it all.

It's said that Eldest Daughter Syndrome can make women feel overburdened, stressed out, and constantly responsible for others.

More signs include having a strong sense of responsibility (leading the batfam and hero teams), feeling a need for control (him fighting for his independence against Bruce and fighting to take care of his own teams), carrying the heavy weight of parents' expectations (his entire monologue in Nightwing 1996 about his feelings towards Bruce), perfectionism (Roy grouching about Dick's perfectionist tendencies to Kori in Outsiders and Roy yelling at Batman for it in Batman Plus), struggling with same-age relationships (dating older), and feeling resentment towards family (his outsiders era was him just resenting Bruce in the beginning).

He's been parenting Bruce for so long he was forced to grow up prematurely. I mentioned in my compartmentalization post when Dick's parents have literally just died. And he's forcing himself to act happy because he doesn't want Bruce to feel guilty and upset about not catching their murderer yet. That's not a responsibility a child should have - pretending everything is fine so as not to worry their family. That's the role of a parent. He's taking parenting his own parent because his actual one is incapable of doing so.

But Bruce's greatest fear is that by taking in Dick, he deprived Dick of opportunities to shine. To live in the limelight. And Dick knows everything about Bruce, so he knows Bruce's worst fears. And for this reason, out of the love that he has in his heart, Dick will never tell Bruce if he's hurt him because this is directly connected to his worst fear.

And that hurts. Because vocally releasing anger and sorrow is cathartic but to have it build up silently inside and letting it sink beneath the waves each time is painful.

[voiddaisy]

Rank the Batfam members based on how well you think you'd get along irl

This is so fun! Okay, so my idea of canon versus fanon is kind of messed up, but I'm going to do my best to go solely off of what I know is canon. I also went a little overboard and did some character study shit because when I tell you I love the bat family, I love the bat family.

(1) Duke Thomas. From what I know about canon, we are really alike. He has a strong moral compass, wants to help people, and can be super goofy and silly. He doesn't really take things super seriously, cares a lot about his family, and is not afraid to lie to Bruce, which I am a supporter of. I think overall we would get along the best just because we are so alike. He also just seems so chill and fun to be around, and I've made a post about this before, but he is so nonjudgmental when it comes to his friends and family, so nonchalant, and literally just the cutie patootie ever, so for sure him.

(2) Stephanie Brown. I love Steph and no one can take that away from me. She reminds me a lot of one of my sisters; She is very witty and humorous, and she is determined, stubborn, and compassionate. She tries to have a positive outlook on everything, despite everything she has been through. I think we would get along well because she is kind of my opposite in a lot of ways. She is outgoing, confrontational, and rebellious, but still vulnerable, caring, and selfless. We would kind of just be a slay duo in my opinion.

(3) Dick Grayson. If I didn't relate so much to Duke, I would definitely say I am the most like Dick. He is a perfectionist, very sarcastic, caring, and literally rocks "eldest daughter syndrome," which... same. He is also such an emotional person, and most of his emotions come out in anger because he doesn't know how to regulate them, which I can relate to. He has that personality that is so easy to banter with but also gets vulnerable, which we see a lot in the comics when it comes to his brothers. I just think our personalities would blend really easily together.

(4) Barbara Gordon. Barbara is literally that bitch. She is super intelligent, determined, hard-working, and responsible while also being empathetic, funny, independent, and wise. She takes so many of the bat kids under her wing as a mentor and tries to build them up to be better people (literally fixing what Bruce messes up). She is super funny and cool, is clearly intelligent without having to flex on it, and cares so deeply for people. If I had an older sister, I'd want her to be just like Babs, because this woman is literally gold. She isn't higher on this list just because I just connect with the other characters more, but she is still just such a good character and I love her so much.

(5) Cassandra Cain. I think I would get along well with Cass because she is a very complex person. She is silent, stoic, determined, responsible, deeply empathetic, and has self-esteem issues. I share a lot of these traits with her, but I'm more... outgoing than she is? So it would be like a bad bitch and her baddie friend situation where I am a yapper and advocate for us both when I normally wouldn't be. She'd encourage my more outgoing side to come out because of how stoic and quiet she can be. She is also like the better version of Bruce Wayne (sorry Bruce), where she still has that intense sense of justice and a strong moral compass, but because she cares so deeply about her friends and family, she puts them first, whereas Bruce kind of... struggles with that lmfao. That is just my interpretation of her, though!

(6) Jason Todd. I actually didn't plan on putting him this high on the list, but after I started typing it out, I was like... oh. I would get along with him better than I thought. Okay, so what annoys me about him is mainly his sense of justice, rebellious nature, complex moral code, and anger. However, these are all issues that stem from his insane trauma and aren't like natural-born traits of his. When he was Robin, he was very playful, witty, kind, and sweet, as a lot of people mention. Despite how he changed after the Lazurus Pit, we still see these personality traits slip through sometimes. He cares a lot about the street kids and does his best to mentor them. In the Gotham Knights cames (which apparently aren't canon but I don't care), he can be very vulnerable and kind to his brothers instead of... beating Tim half to death. Jason is a very emotional character with loyal and protective instincts, and he desires redemption so deeply that he doesn't care how it is acquired. His complexity is what makes me drawn to him, I think. To recognize him as a person who is deeply traumatized and needs positive reinforcement in his life is easy; To give that positive reinforcement is harder. But I think I could offer that to him (and I have the "I can fix him" mentality. Would I be able to fix him? No. Could I be a good friend to him? Maybe). My major qualms with him would be his skewed sense of justice and his moral code; Everything else is like typical emo behavior haha.

(7) Tim Drake. I did not expect Tim to be so low on this list, but I guess it's more of a little brother-type situation. Tim is very intelligent, analytical, determined, empathetic, and compassionate. He shares a lot of traits with Dick, where he is a natural kind of leader and has a deep resourcefulness to him. He can be very self-critical and lacks a need to take care of himself, but he is a team player and can be very responsible. He is also just kind of like... the funniest bat brother to me. It's his sarcasm and the way he picks on people, I think. While he is a good character, I just think I would get frustrated with his stubbornness very quickly. He also just has that little brother attitude that gets on my nerves. But I do think that I would be like a big sister figure to him if that makes sense? Like "you love to hate them" type of shit.

(8) Damian Wayne. Okay, to preface; Damian is just a deeply traumatized kid, so my reservations are literally just about that. I have what you would call a chronic need to fix people, and Damian would just be so easy for me to try to fix, even if I knew I couldn't. He has a skewed sense of justice, like Jason does, but is easier to convince not to kill people. He is stoic, cold, can be emotionless at times, and does not want people to take care of him. I saw some panel yesterday about Dick trying to comfort him after Bruce dies, and Damian is so choked up and doesn't want to speak about it, despite Dick being his older brother. Damian has literally been trained since birth to focus on his mission, his feelings be damned, and I would have such a hard time with that. I would just get so emotional over him and want to take care of him, and he would hate that. I just think that he wouldn't like me very much. I love Damian as a character and I love how complex he is, but he would not love me lmfao.

(9) Bruce Wayne. I knew Bruce was going to be last because there is a special place in my heart reserved for my beef with parents who fuck up their kids. Even though Bruce tries to be a good father to his kids, he is just so shit at it sometimes, and it makes me so mad. In my real life, any time my parents fuck with one of my sisters, I get so irrationally angry and want to fist-fight them. If I was around Bruce and his traumatized children, I would want to throw hands with him every time I saw him. I know that deep down, Bruce is a really good man who just wants to help people, but the way he treats his children literally just boils my blood. I would get along with him if he either didn't have children or had some deep-rooted therapy to fix his emotional constipation. I mean... we would get along fine I'm sure, I would just always have that rage, you know?

This was way longer than I intended it to be, but I have been doing so much character study lately about these people and wanted to share my opinion on each of them in a broader way. If I messed up their character in relation to DC canon... oh well. Also, I know Jason Todd is a little bitch, but he is my little bitch, so it's fine.

Thank you for the ask <3 this was so fun!!

[good-to-drive]

thoughts on the Harrison-Boyd-Clapton live triangle???

Oh god I have SO many thoughts lol. I was actually just talking to my best friend about this, but to put it simply I see the whole situation as an example of two people who truly love each other not belonging together because the particular ways in which they're broken go together too well.

But, to put it less simply:

I tend to think about it from Pattie's perspective, and I've always thought of her as having pretty severe eldest daughter syndrome, i.e. she was taught to value her worth by what she could provide to others. Her parents weren't super involved and she took on a lot more responsibility than most kids her age, especially when it came to her younger siblings. This quote in particular stood out to me when I was obsessing over Pattie a few months ago:

(Not sure where that's originally from btw, I've had the screenshot forever but based on formatting I think it might be brainy quote).

It's often a red flag when people say they felt older than their years, and doubly so when they were in some way parentified. We often reenact the role we played in our childhood family system in our adult relationships, and in Pattie I think this lead her to be extremely giving and self sacrificing. To the point where I'm not sure she was even aware that she HAD emotional needs, much less knew how to assert them.

To that end, although I obviously like George quite a bit, there's no denying that -- especially as a young man -- he was an incredibly needy person. (I actually think all the beatles were sort of black holes of emotional need tbh, at least in their youth. Partly because of childhood trauma but also because they were living a life that's larger and more extreme than any human being was meant to live.)

Pattie's tendency to sacrifice excessively dovetailed perfectly with George's tendency to need excessively, and as a result he totally eclipsed her entire self, until she felt utterly lost. That's neither of their fault, btw. Neither of them was emotionally mature or self aware enough to realize what was happening.

(Not to mention George was cheating like a dog and Pattie was taking it on the chin even though she knew deep down she deserved better. But former parentified children often put up with a lot of shit as adults because they believe it's their responsibility to do so.)

Then Eric comes along and literally tells her it's her fault he's addicted to heroin and if she doesn't leave George he'll die and it'll be all her fault. Aside from the fact that this is literally emotional abuse, it's also an even darker and more powerful black hole of neediness than George. And as someone whose sense of self has been eclipsed and who only knows she matters when she's of service to others, it was basically impossible not to fall into that black hole.

For his part, I think Eric was far more concerned with taking something from George than being with Pattie. I don't know enough about him to know why he'd feel the need to do that and I also really dislike him so I doubt I'll ever find out. Pattie said he got bored of her pretty much as soon as he "had" her, and tbh that doesn't surprise me.

It was honestly such a tragic thing for Pattie to be driven/dragged away from George -- personally I believe they always loved each other (she referred to him as her soulmate in her autobiography, and George made sure she knew as long as he was alive she'd have a financial parachute) -- but I also genuinely think they had to lose each other in order to find themselves.

Pattie couldn't stay in a relationship where she was fulfilling the same self sacrificing role she played as a child, and although it was a long and painful road she seems to have really found herself and found peace. She's never explicitly said this, but often people without a strong sense of self need to be on their own in order to learn how to value themselves, and she did spend a long time unmarried after Eric.

And, although George was gutted by the breakup, he was no more capable of expressing love in a healthy way than Pattie was. If they had stayed together I doubt he'd have grown into the wise and self possessed person that he ultimately became, because he simply wouldn't have had to. (Plus he never would have found Liv and I love her just as much as I love Pattie.)

In the end their relationship is fascinating and tragic to me because the things that drew them to one another so deeply were also what ultimately doomed them, and yet in the shadow of that loss they became the people they were meant to be and found their happy endings.

Thanks for the ask, and sorry for the novel 😁

[urwendii]

7 11 24 for russingon asks :)

Thank you anon ! let seeeeee

7. Share some headcanons on how secret the relationship was: did basically everyone know about it, or just very close family, or nobody at all? How did that change over their lifetimes?

Alright so basically:

In Valinor, pre strife, it was secret and by necessity most likely. I don't think it was on their minds to be open about it. It was known they were Good Friends(tm) and it provided enough of a cover so they could spend time with each other without having to find excuses. Now did Fingon ever suck Maedhros off in broad daylight in the Palace's gardens? yes - they both got a bit reckless at times but who can blame them?

I hc that their relationship started deteriorating once the tension between their dads built up until Fingon broke them up after the whole Your Dad Threatened My Dad With A Fucking Sword?? and Maedhros was unable to totally let go of his loyalties for his family. My thought on this is that Maglor noticed how hard it was on Maedhros and started suspecting that maybe there had been more to their relationship than he ever let on. He never mentioned it though and soon enough they had other issues to worry about anyway...

Post Thangorodrim, it took them a long while to get back into a mind space where they could discuss everything and try to rebuild something. By then I believe more people suspected/knew including a few who disapproved mostly because of who Maedhros was as a Fëanorean (and the obvious politics power play dimension it had after Fingon was crowned High King.)

Maedhros' people in Himring would pretend not to know even if it was terribly obvious considering how their Lord was fretting upon Fingon's visit, how he would light up during it and how gloomy he would then become again after the High Prince/King's departure. And the fact said Nolofinwëan never slept in his own quarters.

11. How did they handle conflict in the relationship? Who's meaner during an argument?

hohohoho, well see I think Fingon is more rash, more impulsive and would be more opened with his feelings so he's the emotional one during an argument (from crying to yelling and crying again.) meanwhile Maedhros who basically is the embodiment of the Eldest Daughter Syndrome is used to deescalate conflicts (you know how his brothers are...) so he is the level headed one.

BUT :D , when you get on his last nerve, oh boy oh boy is he a mean one. Basically he will verbally murder you with a few asinine and sarcastic words that are carefully selected to impact maximum emotional damages.

Post Thangorodrim, he's more prone to coldly lash out and be mean on purpose - that's how he copes and Fingon knows it so they sort of try to navigate this new dynamic.

24. What’s a Russingon AU you often daydream about?

I HAVE SO MANY

i mean technically Reembodied Maedhros is an AU (sobs) so i love to daydream about how it would go for him and Fingon. It's not necessarily happy at the start because of ...well, all the murders and war crimes...so Fingon has the right to be extremely pissed off. (that's my fav way to write him in a post Valinor AU. then the kinky angry sex.)

Another one I will have one day to motivate me to write about is an AU where Maedhros dies on the Thangorodrim. Either by Fingon's hand (Manwë does not interfere) or he dies in Angband. It could be so interesting to navigate both choices from Fingon's POV (the painnnn) but also the opportunity it can represents - the Noldor civil unrest between Nolofinwëans / Arafinwëans vs the Fëanoreans, how Maglor fares as High King, all the butterfly effects of Maedhros not being there to hold his brothers in check etc...

And consequently having him being reembodied then sent back to Beleriand after a while and the new perspective on the Oath etc...

[courfeyracs-swordcane]

what is the difference between a brother and a sister in the ballad brothers universe?

Okay so this is tied to the lightly skewed gender roles I’m still figuring out but tldr families aren’t so much a thing, women are an indoor-outdoor cat, and the Ballad brothers themselves are by literally no definition actually brothers but I got attached to the alliteration

So family structure at least in the as-yet nameless city where this all takes place (there are different rules in other places) is pretty sibling-based— parents are around but no matter how many you have they work pretty much full time and days off aren’t likely to line up, so usually ppl have at least two kids so they can look after each other once they’re old enough.

The Ballad brothers themselves are a pretty classic example! (I mean usually ppl have somewhat more parenting than they do but it’s not too far from ordinary, there’s enough orphans that providing for them is built into city infrastructure) Sisters are tasked with Looking After the other siblings, keeping them in line, etc etc etc, and brothers get the more traditional eldest daughter syndrome shit— making sure there’s a fort to hold down and, since they’re usually younger (or at least Not The Eldest), looking after however much house the family has once the older kids start working. Which is how Kyrie and Alonzo worked for most of their childhoods! They’re both trans of gender but they always pretty solidly fell into Sister and Brother even before they swapped.

As a whole, though, gendered terms are a lot more about Duties and what role they fill rather than gender— I don’t think I’ve introduced the DeLuca family yet, (some of the Ballads’s childhood friends, also split down the middle by differing stances on the RF, one of them is essentially doing what Kyrie is trying to do irt rallying people to Take Those Guys Down And Out but it’s like actually working bc she knows what she’s doing) but they’re two sisters and a brother with the genders going the exact opposite direction, and there’s also Saint Beromia is she/her and very femme but 100% Miri’s little brother in terms of How She Functions.

TLDR. Possibly best described by an unrelated conversation w/ one of my partners in which I said something along the lines of “an uncle is a guy who drives you to the gas station and buys you a jerky stick”. That’s the foundation of familial gender roles in the Ballad brothers universe (almost entirely divorced from any actual genders at play)

[cashmere-caveman]

maybe thats just a side effect of spending a significant part of my teenage years in the dc fandom but whenever i see a story about a family w several kids i automatically assume that at least one mind somewhere had the idea of an au where the age of all the siblings is swapped and the youngest are the oldest and vice versa and when i got into asoiaf i was like oh this is Such a ripe playing ground for this kind of exploration of family dynamics via au bc there are SO many incredible opportunities and then i checked ao3 and Boom. nothing

but like. hear me out. here are so many great concepts here let me pitch this to u except under the cut bc it got long

starklings age reversal is basically a carte blanche bc like who tf knows what rickon would be like? can we really extrapolate any kind of characterisation from the semi abandoned feral cannibal toddler canon gives us? not really. But! this has an absolutely incredible butterfly effect if we assume jon is also counted as a starkling here and the baby of the bunch bc this means all the stark kids minus robb and jon are already born by the time of the rebellion which changes the game drastically. if we still want cat/ned to happen, what happened to brandon? did aerys just kill him for funsies? did he marry ashara dayne after getting her pregnant and him and ned did a little fiancee swap? did he join the nights watch did he choke on some porridge like what Happened here??? also assuming the general timeline stays otherwise intact this means that king in the north rickon is older than renly during the war of the five kings which is frankly hilarious. If jon is Not counted in the age reversal and keeps his age does that mean cat heard abt neds "affair" and named her first two kids after neds father and dead older brother respectively to really drive home the guilt? how would jon and rickon get along? how is arya dealing w being an imperfect older sister to precious little darling sansa? are arya and jon even closer here or does arya listen to cat more bc she has Oldest daughter syndrome this time around? how do the betrothals change? etc etc..... good food!!!!

would anything in roberts rebellion have gone differently if the previous generation of starklings got age swapped and calm benjen instead of headstrong brandon was the oldest? would they have made it out with more survivors or would they be driven to ruin regardless?

speaking of roberts rebellion, what if the baratheon bros got reversed and renly was the oldest? would he have made friends with ned and tried to save lyanna even if he wasnt in love with her like robert? or would he have bent the knee and the north would have attempted to rebel alone? would westeros still have a targaryen king if good old bobby b wasnt the eldest brother?

what if joffrey was the younger brother instead of tommen? even if robert still got murdered, ned would probably survive and be allowed to take the black (jon and ned at the wall, anyone???? hello??) and the tyrells would most likely never orchestrate the purple wedding and instead be warring with cersei over who gets to puppet tommen on the throne

my personal favourite: lannister age swap!!! for this to work, joanna lannister has to survive tyrions birth and i am going to be generous and let her survive the twins too simply bc i want her to. unfridge that woman!!! what would the lannister dynamic be like w a surviving mother who birthed an "unfit" heir? how would tywin treat her, how would he treat tyrion? how would SHE treat tyrion? (dead parents doesnt always mean they were good people just bc we cant see them fuck their kids up live on camera!!) do they actually acknowledge tyrion as a son or does tywin pretend it was a stillbirth and this random disabled kid thats coincidentally the same age his son wouldve been that idk. works in the kitchen or sth bc some servant didnt have the heart to murder the kid hid him has no idea he should be the lannister heir? tyrion cinderella arc here we gooooo!!! or maybe tywin would be forced to acknowledge tyrion for lack of other options for the six years or so until the twins birth? (unlikely w his ableist ass mindset but hey. aus exist for a reason. maybe there IS a way to get him to see tyrion for who he is?) also, since hed be even more absurdly too young for a post like that than he already was, what would change if jaime never joined the kingsguard? who would cersei get betrothed to? (cersei x littlefinger would be soo delicious except theres no way tywin would waste his daughter on someone whos barely better than a landed knight in his eyes but once hes master of coin..... maybe theres a chance.... much to think about!)

not getting into the targaryens here bc frankly it is 1am rn and i am losing steam but like. the epic higs of crown princess dany my beloved <333 and the epic lows of the horrors if viserys was oldest son. can u imagine. however same as w the baratheon bros would this be an opportunity for a scenario where due to rhaegar being the baby of the bunch no rebellion happened and the targaryens still rule? or would aerys have blown up kings landing leading to either civil war or something equally atrocious? would there still be a throne of the seven kingdoms or would there be Seven Kingdoms?

also skipping the martells here bc my phone is at 7% battery and if i think abt them for too long i'll cry so i will leave u w this: theon greyjoy firstborn child to balon greyjoy. would that be fucked up or what. baby boy is Not going to survive his daddys rebellion i can tell u that much but asha Is going to make an even finer heir than she already does

[chucklepea-hotpot]

Okay you asked for asks and i'm desperate for dfk 2023 crumbs so like. Tell me everything. The best part, the worst part, something you really weren't expecting, how the characters changed, some memorable lines or scenes, anything you want to talk about

I need to talk about them so desperately, so thank you for this ask! My answers are hidden unter the cut in case someone wants to avoid spoilers :)

i had a long ass essay prepared but my app broke down so now i'll try to get the most important stuff together, so sorry <3

the best part:

- the music and the sets plus landscapes in general? i loved it, it gave me a warm nostalgic feeling, felt very childhood comforr movie

- the nichtraucher's relationship to the children, we see how the meet him for the first time and how they get closer with each other and how fond he grows of them (aka how he becomes their dad)

- the justraucher relationship. it was gay. very.

- little hints and details that referenced the book, i got very excited about it whenever i spotted some

the worst part:

- making headmisstress kreuzkamm a little bit a comedic relief? i felt like they didn't do hannah herzsprung justice by that, she is actually a very good actress and the re-interpretation of her as professor kreuzkamm could have been better

- some changes to fot the movie's narration better but to me they somehow still felt off, idk how to explain this in better detail

- i think it was sad that they changed the dynamic between justus and the children, at least in the beginning. i kinda missed their trusting bond, think of matz saying that he would literally die for him in the book, he would definitely not say it in this version. but they had the martin and justis scene from the end of the book somehow in there <333

something you really weren't expecting:

- the nichtraucher being so so funny?

- he is the movie's narrator and there's a scene where he says to get his mind free, he likes to smoke, play piano or go for a swim. and then he advices the viewers to do the same, except for the smoking because he also tried quitting several times already. iconic.

- while the kids are fightibg he's randomly walking through the scene because he wants to go for a swim. i love him.

how the characters changed:

- martina: she now has the eldest daughter syndrome and is mainly sad that she doesmt get to spend the summer holidays with her little brother (oskar <333), she and jo don’t go along immediately because martina wants to keep s low profile since she doesnt want to lose her scholarship (scholarship martin truthers unite!!!!). oh, ans she can skate now (very cool!)

- matz: he is called matze and i fucking hate it. but he is very matz, very kindhearted and his main priority is still taking care of uli, so very in character. his main goal however now is not to become a boxer, he just loves training for becoming one and dislikes the fighting part (dunno how to feel about that but well)

- uli: he is basically the same? he bow climbs a wall and falls down because the rope isn't secured well enough and the nichtraucher takes care of him :))

some memorable lines or scenes:

- jo: her forster parents are djs????? that really caught me offguard ngl. she is a troublemaker now and dropped some very cringy anglecisms, which was funny to me at least. martina ans her becole eventually friends, sadly no justraucher paralellism for them :(

- justraucher ofc, but i'm sure i'll talk about that seperately again and again

- "noch 11 tage bis sylt" (only 11 more days until sylt)

- "als ich fünf wad haben meine eltern mich in einer disco ausgesetzt" (when inwas five years old, my parents abandoned me in a disco)

- "wir zwei hatten doch pläne!" (But the two of us had plans!)

- literally everyone who also watched the movie please comment more, there were so many one-liners

anything you want to talk about:

- der schöne theo?? so very book accurate?? he was such a disgusting little boot-licker who looked like he votes for the fdp, he was perfect

- the outfits for the grown-ups were so cool? i loved headmisstress kreuzkamm's whole wardrobe, it was giving art teacher and justus had very very nice plaid pants on that made him look very queer tbf

I hope that answered some of your questions, please always come to talk to me about dfk <3

[ccrowsiie]

I've decided to explain what's been going on with me for the last few months. I figured I owe it to my mutuals since it's definitely going to affect my behavior going forward. I feel it's fair to say something now and maybe even apologize in advance.

In a nutshell: My best friend of 12 years ghosted (me and only me) for people he just met, destroying our relationship. In a coconut shell: One of the most important people in my life allowed our relationship to not just stagnate but actively die, willingly and knowingly breaking our social contract and my boundaries in favor of the adoration and attention from strangers and newer, fresher friends. The fallout sent me into a several months-long spiral that regressed my mental and physical health and led to the relapse of my most self-destructive addictions.

The full story, abridged (if you can believe it):

1/? CW, mentions of child abuse, drug use, mental health.

For clarity's sake, I'll be referring to him as 'Bestie'.

In the hierarchy of closeness, Bestie was right under my husband. Our relationship was 100% platonic but emotionally watertight. We had our disagreements like any pals would, but for the most part, we were siblings. We'd gone on vacations. We'd cooked meals together. We hung out for hours and hours over the many years of our friendship. It's safe to say that he was the closest thing I've ever had to an actual brother. …Because my real one totally sucks ass. I don't have a good relationship with my family. At. All. The majority of our interactions are made out of obligation. It was my dad's literal dying wish to at least try and reconcile with my mother after a lifetime of drugs and abuse. I've been trying my hardest, but dear God she makes it hard sometimes. My sister is alright, I tend to keep her at arm's length because she's a control freak (eldest daughter syndrome + history of abuse) but to say that my relationship with my brother is antagonistic would be a massive understatement. I usually say 'We don't get along' and keep it at that, but it goes deeper. We barely tolerate each other… for reasons I can't understand. I was born dead last in my family, the next oldest sibling is 13 years my senior. Despite the age gap, I may as well have been born the middle child, because bro didn't give up his youngest spot. Both he and my mother show signs of classic narcissism.

You may be thinking to yourself, "Crow, not everyone you dislike is a narc just because your personalities clash~' Save it, please. Don't speak on what you don't know. My mother and brother are a classic narcissistic binary star system. Mother and her golden child. They revolve around each other in a borderline emotionally incestuous way. They do drugs together. She coddles him to an insane degree. He did not move out or get his first job until his 40s. Mom didn't parent me so much as she let me live in her house so she could collect a check from my dad. When I wasn't being actively abused by her husband (won't go into detail here, but know that he was my primary abuser, as he was also her abuser and to a lesser extent my sister's) I was almost always being actively neglected, sometimes in favor of brother. Like, locked out of/into rooms or told to go away whenever she didn't need me for something. Especially in my formative years (age 5-10), when mom was still shooting dope and leaving me alone for days at a time or bringing me around the men she'd shoot up with. I almost lost her to drug-related violence and she almost lost me to the state a couple of times. Eventually, she found a way to have her cake (me, child support check generator) and eat it too (heroin and crack). While she gained sobriety from hard drugs just before I entered middle school, the neglect and other forms of abuse persisted through the remainder of my childhood, until I enlisted in the military out of desperation.

So with all of that boo hoo hoo shit out of the way, it's safe to say that I have a bit of a -thing- surrounding abandonment.

[ollie-needs-therapy]

Greek god headcanons if they were people

Hermes: he learned how to play the trumpet just to play it wrong to annoy Apollo, he has nicknames for everyone, now’s how to speak French and German, he runs every morning with Athena, he owns a pigeon named Letter

Apollo: he can play anything if you give him a week, he has so many stuffed animals, he dyes his hair constantly that no one knows what his real hair color is or was anymore, he has to drink coffee in the mornings and if he does, good luck

Ares: he loves dancing he teaches class in the summer, he’s a mamas boy 100 percent, he’s really really good at math but sucks at writing, him and Athena do each other’s homework if they don’t like the subject

Hera: soccer mom, she’s the kind of mom who when you tell her you have a field trip she’s the first to volunteer, has a photo album for each of her kids, she likes Athena but not any of the other kids she kinda just puts up with them, she can speak Swahili

Artemis: she was in Girl Scouts as a kid, she goes camping once a month with some good “friends”, has a hit list that only has Zeus on it, has a black cat named Bee and he is the heir to her car, flat and money, Apollo gets her shoes though, she can play piano and saxophone, she gets along with her siblings for the most part, can and will beat them up though

Hephaestus: is president of the wood working club at his college, he skipped the 1st grade, while Hera does like Ares better she still loves him, he goes to hang out with Hesta a lot just so the can lit stuff on fire and see how much they can get away with before someone calls the fire department, he has a prosthetic leg

Dionysus: my Boi, he is never home, he’s scared of his family besides Ares and Hades, they hang out sometimes, he wants to own a pit bull but Zeus says their to dangerous, he would name her daisy, he helps Apollo dye his hair that’s the only time he talks with him, he’s in a band , he plays guitar and does backup vocals

Athena: she has Eldest daughter syndrome, she sometimes play surface pressure and sings along to load to scare her siblings, doesn’t like her father and thinks he’s dumb, gifted kid, she can’t do simple math, she’s runs cross country, has a pet fish named Olive and he’s older than dirt and no one knows how he’s still alive

Aphrodite: she’s the reason dumb blond is a thing, she acts dumb buts really smart, think El Woods, can and will fight someone if they being a bitch, has a wiener dog named Louie, hated school, has her own makeup brand

Hades: has the vibe of ‘we can get McDonald’s if you don’t tell your parents’, he and Persephone basically raised Dio and that’s why he trust them, he has three pit bulls, he’s the kind of person who take you to get coffee and talk shit about your ex

Poseidon: fresh out of jail uncle vibes, good dad, him and Zeus don’t get along but they do agree that Hades’ is emo, has too many fish tanks, jokes about how he replaced Athena’s fish, he was in the hospital for the next week, he can’t go a day without making a takes what she said joke

Zeus: shitty dad, he’s trying to be better, loves all his kids but sucks at showing it, he loves Hera, he’s a dick, he’s a lawyer, he has this tendency to be able to predict the weather to the point where Apollo will text him instead of checking his weather, he got rid of it a few months ago, has the photo of Hera and him at their wedding as his Lock Screen, wears suits ever where he goes, he speaks German and Swedish