#so why not stay in bed? why not stay where it’s comfortable?

[ihavethedreamies]

Second Choice | San

Choi San - ATEEZ

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~11.3k O_o

Pairing: San x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Actual Plot, Fluff, Angst, Smut, Friends-to-Lovers, One-Sided Love, Sharing a Bed, Comfort

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her Pronouns used, Pet Names (Precious, Sweetheart, Love, Pretty/Sweet Girl, etc.), Nightmares/Bad Dreams, Tears and Crying, Swearing, Unrequited Love, Kind of a Love Triangle, Kissing, Dirty Talk, Oral (M! & F! Receiving), Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Fingering, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation (Just a tad),  Dacryphilia (Kind of), Creampie Kink (Not really Breeding so…), Marking/Hickeys/Scratches, Wall Sex, Window Sex, Mirror Sex, Big Dick! San, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom! Reader is on the pill), Multiple Rounds

Author's Note: Holy Fuck, look at what I did 🫢. This is…long, as you can see. There is about equal parts fluff and angst and possibly even more smut. Had this brewing in my head for a few days after I went down a San rabbit hole. I went through a roller coaster ride of emotions writing this, so good luck reading it, my dudes.

Wooyoung is not in this, but he is mentioned and is somewhat of a love rival? Also Reader has a dog in this, so sorry if you don't like dogs or something…

PS. The middle pic of the banner is Mark and Renjun 🤪

I barely proofread this and none of my stories are Beta-ed so hopefully its not too messy...

I am cross-posting this on Archive. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other site. Happy reading!

Glancing at the clock, tick-tick-ticking away, you sighed. 2:38 am. It was much, much too early (or too late) to be awake, but you knew there was no way you could fall asleep. The first nightmare wasn't nearly as bad, so you were willing to go back to sleep, but when it happened again, you just couldn’t. So, you were sitting on the couch, some random rerun playing on the TV. You had to keep the volume low, not wanting to wake San up. He was sleeping with the door open so his cat could come and go. Byeol was sleeping in the armchair and you were jealous that he could do so in peace. San was staying in Wooyoung's room while he was gone, and since your sister had somewhere to be that weekend as well, you were home alone. It freaked you out to be alone in such a big place, never really having lived on your own. San offered to stay with you and you were a bit reluctant to agree but did so. It wasn't that you weren't close with San, you were, since Wooyoung was your roommate, it was just odd without Wooyoung there too. Turning around to glance behind the couch, your dog was snoring away in her bed, laying on her back, legs folded down over her chest. She was so sweet, but she was a husky and therefore made the bed way too hot for her to lay with you. Every so often you would have really bad nightmares and would normally slip in next to your older sister and be able to sleep in peace. However, she wasn't there, so you had to sit on the couch and watch the TV, at an hour where nothing good was on.

"Why are you up?" San's voice startled you, and you spun around again to look at where he was coming from behind you. Your dog's soft snores stopped, but she didn't even roll over from her spot, falling back to sleep easily.

"Nightmare." You shrugged, turning back around and he shuffled sleepily around the couch to sit next to you.

"Couldn't go back to sleep?" His eyes were almost closed and his hair was mussed up. He had worn a pair of thin black pants with a thin sweater to sleep. The collar was very low, and paired with his wide shoulders, you could see most of his toned chest. By that point, you were used to it, but that didn't mean you weren't tempted to ogle him.

"No. I…Uh, normally crawl into bed with (S/N), but…" You shrugged again, pulling your fluffy robe back up to cover your shoulder, only in a thin tank top underneath. Picking at a stray string on your own thin pajama pants, you felt antsy under his gaze.

"What about Cookie?”

"She's too warm…" You both sat in silence for a good minute or two and you tried to just watch the TV. It seemed he was thinking.

"Um, I'm going to use the bathroom…Do you…Do you want to sleep in my- Wooyoung's bed with me?"

"No! I…I mean…" You cleared your throat.

"I…That's fine, but would you mind…using my bed?" You could NOT sleep in Wooyoung's bed, especially with San. You were willing to try anything at that point, feeling exhausted, and you really needed sleep. Last time you tried to tailor a dress while tired, you poked your fingers at least seven times.

"Yeah, be right back." He flashed a sleepy smile, shuffling toward the bathroom, the sweater crooked, revealing part of his shoulder. Licking your lips, your mouth dry, nervous, you shut the TV off, but hesitated to get up. When he came back out, you finally forced yourself up and you led him toward your bedroom. Taking a deep breath, you opened the door, your light strip around the room glowing a gentle deep pink.

"You need that off?" you asked him, pointing at the lights.

"No." He moved toward your bed, turning back to look at you, waiting. Swallowing hard, you undid the robe, acting like you were naked underneath. After it fell, you dashed to get under the covers, embarrassed about your thin top and your lack of bra. Gently, he got on the other side and you laid down stiffly, flinching when he pulled the blanket over himself, then higher up on you. Your face heated and since you had no makeup on, you were sure he could see you get red. Maybe not in the low light…

"Do you want me to hold your hand?" San's voice was very soft and you felt like crying. You weren't for sure if you were just that flustered or embarrassed, or what. Just replying with a nod, you turned on your side, not really able to look at his face, but his hand was already up between your two pillows. Your hand shook a bit, reaching for him, and he gave you a warm smile, linking his fingers with yours. He wasn't the biggest of the friend group, but he was still much bigger than you, his hand nearly swallowing yours completely.

"I'm right here, you can go to sleep." He whispered and you let your eyes close, hoping he couldn't see the tears hanging on your lashes. It was still taking you a while to actually fall asleep, laying there with your eyes closed for nearly half an hour. At that point, you were more distracted with his hand holding yours than the thought of having another nightmare. San was always so soft and gentle with you, despite his harsh appearance. He was sweet and was always careful to make sure you weren't too uncomfortable. You knew, deep down, he probably liked you, but you just ignored the idea. It was like some weird love mismatch going on. Your sister was in love with her friend-with-benefits, Wooyoung liked your sister, you liked Wooyoung, and San liked you. You knew Wooyoung liked your sister, but he had no chance in hell. Your sister was enamored with Younghoon, and the only reason they weren't an actual couple is because she was in denial, afraid of commitment, and didn't like feeling feelings.

Still being mostly awake, you had to make sure and hold completely still when you barely felt his fingers brush a stray strand or two of hair off your forehead. You heard and felt him shuffle just a bit closer, not having to go far in your full-sized bed. Holding as still as you could, you tensed further when he lightly pressed a kiss to your forehead. You bit the inside of your lip to keep it from quivering. Only relaxing when he settled, you didn't open your eyes till you could tell he was asleep from the way his breathing changed. Blearily, you looked over his face, so peaceful and pretty. Despite falling asleep, his hand was still just as secure in yours. You wondered what time it was, and as you did, sleep slowly overcame you as well.

When you woke up in the morning, your bed was empty next to you and could hear Cookie eagerly inhaling her food.

"Slow down, you'll end up throwing up." You heard San scolding her and when you rolled over to get out of bed, the clock read 11:47.

"Shit!" You sat up quickly, yanking your tank top and pajama pants off, slipping on a bra, white t-shirt, and a maxi dress over. Your hair was messy in its braid, but once you took it out, your hair fell in nice soft waves. Your feet softly thumped on the hardwood floor as you jogged down the hall.

"Sorry I slept so late!" You called to him, he was resting against the kitchen counter, watching the husky rapidly crunch on her food.

"It's okay!" He assured and you dashed past the kitchen, toward your studio to start working. It was good you worked from home.

"I think it was because I fell asleep so late!" The only reason he heard you was because he had followed after you, plopping down in your rolling chair as you started getting pins and thread out.

"When do you have to go practice?" San was a dance instructor and it was extremely convenient that his studio was just across and down the street a bit from your apartment complex.

"Three." He got up, turning the chair around so he could sit in it backwards, backrest to his chest. You huffed, tucking hair behind your ear again, but it fell in your view again. Grumbling, you grabbed your glasses off the table, putting them on to rest on the end of your nose to get the right angle to focus on where you were doing a difficult stitch. Gladly you could hear his steps on the wood floor; you were able to prevent a flinch when his fingers found your hair. Kneeling behind where you were to get the right height, you forced yourself to continue the stitch, just very slowly as he braided your hair for you. Not having a normal hair tie, he grabbed a stray rubber band from your kit to tie the end.

"Thanks." You murmured, pretending to be focused to hide your reaction. You hoped your head was bowed enough he couldn't see your red cheeks.

"What do you want for lunch?" You tried to maintain some kind of casual normalcy. He hummed and you could hear the chair roll an inch when he sat back down. Him watching you didn't faze you before, but his gaze felt like fire on your back.

"Pizza?"

"Sure, if you get my phone, you can reorder what we got last time." You waved toward your device on the desk next to you.

"Code?"

"Same as the front door."

He typed in the number and you heard it click open and he tapped away on it. Glancing over at him, your eyes focused on where his partially unbuttoned shirt was tucked into his pants. You had hemmed that pair of jeans so he didn't have to pin them tighter anymore.

"Use the 3033 card?"

"Yes."

"Twenty-three minutes." He told you, placing the order then went and sat back down.

"How much?"

"Like eighteen."

"Can you get me the thread in slot L-2?" you asked, motioning behind you toward your thread storage. He rolled over and you heard shuffling, keeping your hand out so he could rest the spool in it. Expecting him to just hand it to you, he had gotten out of the chair and sat on the floor next to you.

"What are you doing?"

"Buttons in this fabric tend to get loose easily or fall off, so I'm having to fasten them differently." You deftly and quickly started your task and he marveled at how fast you did it. Tying the thread off, you stuck the needle in the pincushion you had on your wrist, grabbing a longer one again.

"You're really good at this." San looked at the smooth stitches you had done, even though they were by hand, not machine.

"Practice." You let a small smile grace your lips.

"Do you always do everything by hand?"

"Depends on what I am doing most of the time, but some clients want it completely hand sewn." You pulled a pin out, dropping it back into the little box and continuing. You fell back into rhythm even with his intense gaze watching what you were doing. His fingers messed with a scrap of fabric laying on the floor, then he picked it up, weaving random pins through it, trying to mimic what you had done.

"Could you teach me to sew?"

"Probably. It's not hard. Getting to this point is though."

"Did you teach Wooyoung?" Your hands froze at the question, heart thudding harder.

"N-No. Well, I tried, but he kept poking himself." He laughed.

"Sounds about right- ow!" Your eyes flicked to him, sticking the end of his finger in his mouth, putting the pin-riddled fabric down on the desk.

"Like that." You giggled and he huffed bashfully. He kept watching, getting up quickly when the doorbell rang so he could get the pizza. Finishing your stitch, you took the pin cushion off and made sure there wasn’t anything sharp on the floor, you laid your glasses down as well.

"Hot, hot!" He breathed hard through his mouth, trying to cool off the bite as you walked out. He wasn't expecting the sauce to still be hot, but the pizza place was very close. It only took so long since it was busy for lunch. You let him talk to you while you both ate, and you only partially listened, not understanding most of it anyway; some video game you hadn't played and had no knowledge of.

"I think I'm going to head to the studio now." San had helped you clean up and sat on the edge of the entryway to get his shoes on.

"Bye, (Y/N)!" The door shut, leaving you staring at it. Sighing deeply, you went back to your work, trying not to let your thoughts loop out of control.

Your eyes flew open, chest heaving, sweat pooling at the small of your back. Breathing hard, you stared at the small star-like dots on your ceiling.

"Fucking-" You sat up, leaning forward and rubbing over your face with your hands. Huffing, you threw your comforter to the side and got you of bed. Stomping over to your dresser, you put on the pajama shirt that matched your pants over your tank. Grabbing your phone, you shuffled out to the living room, hesitating before dropping yourself and your device onto the couch. Looking toward the door to the other bedroom, it was slightly propped open for the cat. Your dog was noticeably absent, so you walked softly over to the door, peaking in. Cookie was laying at the foot of the bed on a spare blanket San most likely had laid out, Byeol loafing in the curve of the husky's body. The sight made you smile, and you glanced to where San was sleeping. Laid out like a starfish, the blanket hit him around the middle, and one of his feet was sticking out from under.

"(Y/N)?" His voice caught your attention when you started to step out of the doorway.

"Y-yeah?"

"Did you have another nightmare?"

"Yes." When he started to get out of bed, you tried to protest.

"Come on." He ignored your stumbling words, sliding past you in the doorway, his hand grabbing yours as he moved. He led you back to your room, getting into your bed without hesitation.

"San-" You got in as well, but stayed sitting up as he laid down.

"Just…sleep." He mumbled, hand grabbing the back of your shirt and pulling you down into his arms. Shuffling under you so he could get more comfortable, your head ended up resting on his shoulder, his other arm around your waist. He fell back asleep fast, his fingers that had been running over your hair stilling. Your heart was thudding hard, you could even hear it pulsing. How the hell were you supposed to fall asleep like that? You pondered that question, but at the same time, your eyes were growing heavy and sleep was washing over you. At first, you were only about half-asleep, somewhat aware still of his soft breathing. Right as you began to actually go to sleep, you felt a soft press on the corner of your mouth. This woke you up fully, but you managed to keep your eyes closed, body limp. Did he just kiss you? His fingers were back to running over your hair, "you have no idea, huh?" His voice was so quiet that even though your nose was near his throat, you barely heard it. San sighed, kissing your forehead, you could tell that time for sure. Finally, you couldn't fight sleep off, and fell asleep in his arms.

Once again, when you woke up in the morning, he was already out of bed. You couldn't hear anything else, and when you glanced at the clock it was a little past 9. Getting up with a stretch, you looked to the empty side of your bed. Giving in to your intrusive thoughts, you pulled the side of the comforter he had been using up to your nose and you sighed. Smelled like him, and you hated how good that made you feel. Dropping the blanket like it was hot, you scampered out of bed and made your way down the hall. Peaking around the archway that led into the main room of the apartment, you saw he wasn't in the kitchen and the bathroom door was open. Your dog barked happily and came to greet you and as you pet her, you noticed a note on the counter. He had gone out to do some things and let you know he would be back for supper. You weren't sure if you were disappointed or relieved at this. You only had two, maybe three, more nights before your sister returned. Wooyoung was supposed to not long after that. You were worried what you might let, or want to, happen the longer you were there with San, just the two of you. For some reason, you felt horrible about your rising affections with San, but you had no commitment to Wooyoung in anyway but your own feelings toward him. It would probably be better if you tried to move on, but there was a small part of you that hoped your sister would get with Younghoon, then Wooyoung could move on, and go to you. While you logically understood that would probably not happen, you still hoped.

Continuing with your day as normal, you finished the suit you had been working on and was able to move on to a dress that was commissioned. You enjoyed making whole ensembles more than making adjustments and other altering jobs. Going over the list, you saw you had nearly all of the materials and supplies already, but you would most likely need even more of the right color thread. You could wait a bit though, since you weren't sure when you would run out. As you were rechecking your list, your phone started to ring. Hitting the answer button and putting it on speaker, you put all the supplies on the desk.

"This is (Y/N)."

"Hello, Miss (Y/N). I'm a delivery driver for Blooming Days Flowers. I was just wanting to make sure you would be at home in the next fifteen minutes?"

"Oh, uh, yes." You had no idea who would have sent flowers.

"Great, thanks!" He hung up and you blinked back at the flashing 'call ended' on your phone. Trying to keep going with your job, it was hard, your thoughts wandering to who the heck sent flowers. When the bell rang, you quickly went to the door and the man on the other side smiled, holding a bouquet of flowers in a vase. There were two different purple flowers, some a golden yellow, and more smaller white filler-flowers.

"Oh, thank you!" You took the bouquet and the man had you stamp on his clipboard. He took his leave and you moved further into the apartment, door shutting behind you. Placing the vase on the counter, you plucked the little card from the top, reading the text on the front.

"Praying for a good night's sleep! Inspired by holistic sleeping-remedy flowers: Lavender, Passionflower, California Poppy and Valerian!" You read out loud, figuring out who it was from before you flipped the card around. You had to take a deep breath, fighting back tears once again.

Thought this might help? ~San

You took several measured, deep breaths. It didn’t work, a tear rolling down your cheek before you could stop it. Placing your hand down on the counter, you didn't have to get close to the bouquet to smell the fresh lavender. Not normally one for flowers, this was the sweetest thing anyone had ever done for you. You licked your lips, letting out a shuddering breath, you could taste the salt of your tears. You had thought he had a crush on you, something small, but this? It seemed like he lo-

"Fuck." Your jaw clenched, the card crinkling where your thumb pressed it too hard. Sniffing hard to prevent your nose from running, you let the card go, smoothing it out a bit. You aggressively sniffled, upset with your own mixed emotions and stomped back to your studio. Were trying but failing to continue working without getting tears and snot on the red fabric.

"(Y/N)! I got food!" You heard him easily even though you were back in your room, the door closed. For the last hour you had been sitting on the floor, back to the wall, facing your bed. You tried laying down, but the comforter still smelled like him. You tried to read and distract yourself, but you kept getting the pages wet. Tears were still drying on your face and new ones came up when you heard his voice. You were so tired at that point, head hurting. Your hand was at your mouth, arms crossed on top of your knees, and you bit your thumbnail. Working for another three hours after you got the delivery, you put it out of your mind, but everything came back when you spotted them on the counter, coming out of your studio.

"(Y/N)?" San called again, but you still didn't reply.

"(Y/N)?" He was coming down the hall and you got up reluctantly, sniffing hard while grabbing a tissue. You blew your nose and he knocked on the door.

"Come in." Your voice was a bit hoarse and when he came in, seeing your eyes and cheeks red, tissue rubbing at your nose, his face fell.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He immediately came forward, hands going to your cheeks, thumbs rubbing over the skin.

"J-just…" You forced a smile.

"I was just moved from you sending me the flowers, then I was reading…" Your lie was pretty believable since your book was still open, face down on the bed.

"Oh." He slumped in relief, and you wished he hadn't removed his hands from your face.

"You really liked the flowers?" His brow furrowed nervously.

"Yes, San. They're…" Your breath shuddered but you covered it with a soft chuckle.

"They're beautiful, and so thoughtful." You played with the balled-up tissue in your hand, not able to look him in the eye.

"Good! I got food from the place on the corner you like so much." He led you out to the main room and you slowly followed. You tried to maintain your normal attitude while you ate, and it got easier as you both joked and he told you about his day. Your phone dinged and you glanced down. When the name registered, your entire body stiffened and you exhaled hard, picking the device up to look at the message.

You doin' good? Is Sannie playing nice?

Wooyoung…

"Is it Woo?"

"Yeah." You nodded a bit, typing out a simple yes, you sent it. His phone dinged then as well and he scoffed at what he read.

"He knows you're lying." San shot you a deadpan look and your jaw dropped a bit, then you cleared your throat.

"Why does he think that?"

"You didn't capitalize it. It was too short too." San stuck his tongue against his cheek, making it poke out. You rolled your eyes.

"Bitch." You sneered, grabbing the phone and redoing the message.

I'm not lying. I'm busy. Grow up.

You weren't normally terse with him like that. He would definitely know something was up. Backspacing, you redid it once again.

I'm not lying. We were busy eating. I'm fine and yes, San is being nice. Really nice.

You hit send and you didn't get a reply after he read it, but San's went off. He glared at what he saw, not bothering to reply himself, putting his phone face down on the counter; he even muted it.

"What did he say?" You were curious but tried to maintain a neutral tone.

"Little shit, just something about not becoming your new best friend." That was a lie and you knew it but let the topic drop.

"I'm going to play a game with the guys for a bit, do you want to watch?"

"You're gonna use Woo's computer?"

"Sure am." He smiled, his dimples revealing themselves. You considered it, then you were going to say yes, then considered it again.

"I think I'll finish that show I started the other day." You told him and he shrugged, going off to do what he said after cleaning up his dishes. You hadn't finished yet, so you took the last few bites, then just left the dish in the sink. Slumping over to the couch, you put on the show and only kind of watched it. You were rewatching anyway…

"Fuck!" You sat up, your heart beating so fast, breathing so hard you felt like you had just run a mile. Not caring how bad it messed up your hair, you buried your fingers in at the scalp, pulling on the strands to center yourself in the waking realm. Why the hell were your nightmares coming back so strong? In the low pink light of your room, you glared at the bouquet of flowers on your dresser. They did jack shit.

"Don't take it out on the flowers…" You scolded yourself, sitting back against the headboard. You did so quite hard, enough so to rattle the frame, and the attached nightstand. The glass of water you had on it fell over, rolled, then fell off, the glass shattering on the hard wood.

"Shit!" You almost got out of bed, but then moved to go to the other side so you didn't land barefoot on glass.

"(Y/N)?" San had peaked his head in, he wasn't in his pajamas yet, so he must have just gotten done with his game.

"Hey, wait!" He stopped you as you moved to start picking up the pieces, slippers on just in case. He was in crocs, so he took the trash can from you. Using his sleeve over his hand, he gently picked up the fragments and put them in. He looked up when you handed him a roll of tape. He pulled a section out and tore it off, smacking it against the floor to pick up any small bits that might be left.

"What happened?" San threw the tape away too and you put the bin back down.

"I…I had another nightmare, and so I rattled the bed frame and the glass on the nightstand fell."

"Another? Maybe you can't sleep without me." He smirked playfully, but it fell when he noticed you didn't even twitch your lips.

"Give me like five minutes." He held his hand up to motion you to wait, heading back down the hall. Sighing, you sat on the bed, feet on the floor. Staring at the small scratch on the wall that was left by your keys when you tripped and caught yourself, you pondered what your bad dreams could mean. Why were you having so many? You almost never had more than one in such a short time frame. Was it really just from not having your sister around? That wouldn't make sense…

"Here, let's get you to sleep." San came in, wearing a white t-shirt and grey sweatpants. Seriously? Out of all the things he could possibly wear, he had to put on that? Did he not know what the simple combination did?

"Come here." He had gotten under the covers, arms open, waiting for you. Swallowing hard, you laid back down in his embrace, feeling comforted already. That scared you, honestly, almost more than the bad dreams.

"What are you thinking about?" He had seen your pensive face.

"Nothing-"

"No. Tell me." You huffed in reply.

"Did…Did you kiss me yesterday night?" You felt him stiffen, much like you normally did.

"I did, on the forehead-"

"No. Tell me." You shot back at him. San stayed quiet for a second and you could almost hear the wheels in his head turning.

"Yes." His reply was soft, like the kiss on the corner of your mouth from before.

"What do I have no idea about?" He really hadn't thought you were awake, and he shifted nervously before responding. The man was taking his sweet time, and you were about to give up, not having the energy to press the issue.

"How much I like you…" He finally got out; your suspicions confirmed. He thought you would flinch, stiffen up, even hitch your breath, but he got nothing, so he pulled away enough to look at your face. It was flat, but your eyes were glossy.

"How much?" His eyes widened at your question.

"How much?" He repeated.

"How much do you like me?" He licked his lips, nervous, but then the nerves seemed to dissipate. The hand on your waist went up to cup your cheek, the arm under your head wrapping around your shoulders. When his lips lightly touched yours, you at first thought the contact generated a static shock. But he didn't flinch back, instead, he fully pressed his lips on yours. You shivered, easily melting into the kiss. Your hands flew up to cup his jaw, the ends of your fingers burying in his hair. He grunted, rolling a bit so he was leaning over you some. You whined when his hand rested on your hip, thumb brushing the exposed skin from where your tank top rode up. Your hands moved down, one going to scratch at the hair on the nape of his neck, the other slinking under the collar of his shirt, over his broad back. San took the opportunity when your whine slightly parted your lips, tongue brushing the lower one. You let him in, whining louder as his tongue tasted yours. He was over you completely then, forearm easily holding his weight over you, the hand on your hip slipping lower past the waistband of your sleep pants. Deep down you knew you shouldn't, knew you might regret it, feel horrible, feel like you used him, feel like you were somehow betraying Wooyoung…

"(Y/N)-" San pulled away from the kiss, both of your lips starting to swell from the pressure, saliva leaving a strand of connection.

"Just- please- need you-" You heaved out and he groaned. Making sure he was still close enough to brush his lips over yours, he got on his up on his knees, kneeling over you more, one thigh pressing between yours to open your legs. He wrestled with his shirt a bit, pulling away enough to get it over his head and off, his mouth sealing back to yours as he threw the shirt behind him somewhere. As San's tongue ran over your own, the roof of your mouth, your teeth, anywhere it could reach, you couldn't help but feel over him. His soft skin stretched over his toned chest and abs, his broad shoulders and back leading down to his narrow waist. While he swallowed your tongue and moans, his hands deftly undid the buttons of your pajama shirt, hauling you up to sit so he could take it off. Your tank was swiftly removed as well, joining his own shirt somewhere on the floor. He bit your lip when he pulled back from the kiss, his leading a trail down to your jaw, neck, over your throat and collar bone. His hands on your bare skin felt searing, one on your lower back to lead you to lift your hips. San led you to wrap your still covered legs around his waist, his other hand had cupped your breast, kneading the flesh, the skin pebbling into goosebumps from the sensation. You gasped hard as his lips wrapped over one of your nipples, and at the same time, he ground his growing hard-on into your rapidly soaking cunt through both of your pants. He was spurred on by your breathing picking up, soft moans escaping you. As he kissed over to and sealed his lips over your other nipple, he wrestled your pants and panties off at the same time.

"S-San-!" Your whole body twitched as his fingers met your glistening folds, the first easily sliding in, wiggling against your walls.

"Fucking soaked, precious." He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his chest and through your fingers pressing against him. You mewled when his kisses went back up to your neck, full on whimpering when his tongue licked a path from the bow of your collar bone and up to the base of your ear.

"Gonna fuck you so good, baby girl." His low voice, right in your ear, took your breath away, his second finger spreading you open. He tried to chuckle at your yelp as he softly pressed his teeth against the skin of your neck, sucking hard, working blood to the surface of your skin to leave his mark.

"W-wait-!" Your body shuddered, back arching, head thrown back when he added a third finger, his thumb pressing over your clit.

"Gotta get your cute little pussy ready, you're too tight for my cock, love." San's nose ran over your throat, then rested his forehead on your collarbone. He looked down at where you were sucking his fingers in, not able to hold in his mirth. He loved how tiny you felt under him, writhing and whimpering. He had been waiting for this for so long, and he knew you were vulnerable, and shouldn't be taking the opportunity, but he was weak. If you were going to ask for him, he would give you what you wanted.

"Fu- God! San!" Your cunt clenched his fingers, pulsing with your heart and he circled your clit, lips going back to hover over yours.

"Cum for me, sweetheart." He prompted and you immediately did, blunt nails digging into the skin of his upper back, head lolling against the pillow. San smirked above you, watching your eyes roll back in your head as your cunt spasmed, soaking his hand. Your body shivered one last time as he removed his fingers, barely registering as he lapped his tongue over his fingers, groaning at your taste. Your tired eyes tried to focus as he climbed off the bed, figure out what he was doing. You yelped when his hands on your ankles yanked you down the bed, the comforter falling to the floor and he knelt on it, leveling his face with your swollen cunt.

"San-?!" Your voice ended in a very undignified choking sound as he buried his tongue inside your core, filling the void his fingers had left. He wasn't planning on fucking you open with his tongue, but you tasted too fucking good. His strong hands gripped your inner thighs, so hard he was definitely going to bruise them, holding you open. Your body was still weak from your orgasm, so you couldn't fight him anyway. San pressed his tongue against your gummy walls, pulling back so he could swipe through your folds, then circle your clit. You were still sensitive, the sensation jolted you, he could feel your muscles spasm under his hands. Your next orgasm was coming on fast, and your fingers wove through his hair, trying to ground yourself through your hands, his own not allowing your hips to ride his tongue.

"S-San~!" You fell apart on his tongue that time and he eagerly drank and swallowed every drop that fell from your needy cunt, reveling in the pleasure he was bringing over you. Kissing your swollen nub, you whimpered and he stood up, even though his pants were loose, they were tight against his hard cock. Your eyes were glazed over, head rolling to the side, staring at the wall. Your gaze was drawn back to him as he pulled the waistband of his pants and boxers up and over his swollen dick and your mouth watered when the clothing fell, leaving him naked.

"Fuck." You huffed, still catching your breath and he couldn't fight the smug grin that spread over his face. No wonder he felt the need to prep you, you didn’t even know if you could get your fingers all the way around him.

"Come here, precious." He easily lifts you to haul you back up the bed, gently letting your head hit the pillow. The other he brought to rest under your lower back, finally letting you down. Your hips angled up allowed him to sit up higher on his knees to give him better leverage. When the fat head of his cock met your cunt you clenched your jaw, readying for the stretch.

"Wait, do I need a con-"

"Just fuck me, San." You wanted to sound more assertive, but you just whined like a spoiled child.

"Okay, precious." His smirk grew and he wrapped his arm around your left leg by your knee, the other leg spread with his hand on your inner thigh. When San started to press in you gasped with each breath, trying to breathe through him splitting you open. You were so tight around him, your gummy walls erratically spasming around his cock, your wet heat felt incredible. He groaned low and long as your cunt swallowed each inch of him, somehow accommodating his thick length.

"Such a good girl, sweetheart." He cooed as he bottomed out, adjusting your legs to spread you open even further, giving him a perfect view. You were so wet, your slick already glistening on the base of his cock. Your entire body was in shock, almost. Everything seemed to be spasming at him rearranging your guts, filling you so completely and wonderfully, you wondered if anyone would suffice after him. You were already drunk on his delicious cock, and he hadn't even moved yet. He could tell from having felt it on his fingers and tongue, that your cunt was throbbing, ready for you to cum again. He was going to fuck you through your high so many times that tears would flow over your cheeks again, but from bliss instead of sorrow and frustration. He wanted to fuck every little negative thought from your pretty head, drive away the memory of your nightmares. Wanted to leave you only with thoughts of him, his hands, his lips and tongue, his voice, and his cock. He was already making head way it seemed.

"Can I move, precious?" San leaned down to gently kiss at the corner of your mouth, tongue brushing over your bottom lip. You nodded, whining, not able to think to get a word out. He barely pulled out an inch, making you whimper, the searing stretch filling you with painful pleasure. San artfully snapped his hips, the tip of his cock hammering your back wall and cervix, pelvis meeting your clit, sending you even closer to the edge. The next thrust was a little deeper, a little harder and your whole body went limp, the third thrust nearly made you black out. Your cunt spasmed, squirting slick and wet over his groin and balls, core clenching his cock so tight he had to breathe hard to hold back. He chuckled as your orgasm waved through you over and over, and he wondered how long you had needed to get fucked. He was so glad he was the one to do so, and he would eagerly do it over and over, till you were dumb and stupid for him. A tiny voice inside him kept repeating to him that he would always fuck you better than Wooyoung, that his best friend would never be able to ravish you the way he was planning. Over and over-

"San, please, please…" He wasn’t sure what you were begging for, but your high had laid, so he continued. Throwing your legs over his elbows, pressing closer to you so you were nearly folded in half, he huffed a laugh.

"You want me to fuck you good, love?"

"Yes!"

"Want my cock to fuck you stupid?"

"YES, fuck PLEASE." His hips rolled, leaving only a bit more than the head of his cock in you, before filling you fast and hard again. Your already kind of flimsy headboard thudded hard against the brick wall, creaking under the power of his hips slamming his cock into you, skin slapping, grunts leaving him and mewls leaving you. Your fingers turned white as you gripped your sheets hard, worried that the worn material might tear despite your blunt nails.

"God, you're so fucking perfect (Y/N)~" San groaned, letting one of your legs go so you wrapped it around his narrow waist. The now free hand gripped over the one you had up by your head, easing your fingers out of the sheets so they could instead weave through his. San's lips fell back to yours, thrusts growing shallower but no less hard, you felt like he might dislodge a kidney with the strength behind each motion. As his pelvis met yours, he ground into your clit, and you were growing close to another orgasm, and he was planning on letting go with you. He tried so hard to maintain his rhythm, almost having to just grind into you to keep control, fucking so deep inside you thought he was in your throat.

"Cum for me, precious. Cum on my cock." San pulled back from the kiss, and his words granted you your relief, your final climax really did make your vision go black, flashes of white dotting your vision and his voice rumbled through the room as his hot cum painted your insides white. He came so much that his release spilled out from where he split you open, a mix of your cum dripping onto the sheets. You had fallen limp like a rag doll, eyes closed, chest heaving, little whines accompanied each breath. He was heaving for air as well, the emotions he felt from finally being inside you, pleasuring you, hitting him then. If he already liked you, he was truly infatuated then, never wanting to leave your hold or your warmth.

When consciousness finally washed over you, it took you a second to figure out why the hell you were so sore. Your thighs were sore, random spots on your neck and shoulders, your hips, back, and cunt. Everything hit you then and your body protested as you wiggled on the bed, trying to get the strength to sit up. Your bed was once again empty despite having shared it for the night.

"Fuck." You whimpered as your lower half pulsed as you got out of bed, legs incredibly weak. You were naked as the day you were born, and you pretty much limped over to the bathroom. After relieving yourself, you finally looked in the mirror, gasping. There were several dark red and purple marks over your neck, shoulders and chest, one mark even had teeth marks.

"Choi San!" You scolded him despite his absence, rubbing the little bruises and wincing. You were glad you worked from home, because there was no way to cover the hickeys in the middle of May. You took a shower, the hot water washing away many different layers from your body. You winced when the water flowed over your sore pussy, still a bit swollen from being pleasantly ruined by San's monster cock. Getting out of the shower, you got dressed in a matching tank top and shorts, the mint-colored fabric was soft and loose. There was no way you could handle any pressure on your cunt, so you went commando. San had already seen everything anyway. Nervously and shakily going down the hall to the main room, you heard the other shower running. Cookie lifted her head from where she laid right in front of the door, slowly getting up and stretching before going to greet you.

"Good morning~" You cooed at your pup and then limped over to the fridge, your dog whining a bit at your strange gait. She watched with interest as you pulled some ingredients out of the fridge, needing some protein to compensate for the intense work out you had gone through. When your husky smelled the bacon as soon as you opened the package, she started to wag her tail, whimpering.

"No begging!" You scolded the dog, and she was so well trained she simply hung her head and trudged away, down the hall and presumably into your sister's room. You barely heard the shower turn off and the door open over the popping and sizzling of the bacon and eggs in their pans. You had assumed he would go to his room to get dressed, but you startled when he wrapped his arms around your middle from behind.

"San, I'm cooking!" you scolded, trying to pry his arms off of you. Your heart rate had spiked, more from fear than bashfulness. You still hadn't processed what had happened the night before, especially not emotionally.

"Sorry!" He giggled and leg you go, but only moved to stand next to you. Your face was warm and your eyes stung a bit, brow furrowed. Once all the food was plated and the heat of the stove was off, you turned to him, taking a step back.

"San, I think-"

"Let's eat first, precious. I tired you out." He took both of the plates, walking around you to get to the dining table. You followed after him slowly and he pulled a chair out for you which you gratefully sat down on. Then you regretted it, the hard wood pressing into your sore thighs and groin. You then noticed he was in a white tank top and blue track pants, towel around his neck. He always looked so good… Despite wanting to talk with him, you were really freaking hungry, so you ate first, trying to ignore his warm and fond gaze. You knew before you let him rail you into next week that you would regret it. You did, you regretted it and felt guilty. Felt like you used him. Feel like you betrayed Wooyoung… The final bite of food was harder for you to swallow along with the knot of emotions rising up. Your breath shuddered, and he noticed the tear fall from your eye and onto the empty plate.

"Hey, baby girl, what's wrong?" He immediately got up, coming to your side and kneeling so he could look up at you. Your crying picked up then, your hands covering your mouth to try and muffle your sobs, scooting back and away from him.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You repeated between each sob that made you gasp, desperate to let out the emotions that had finally boiled over.

"Oh, precious." He sighed, trying to pull you into a hug and you pushed your chair back further, standing up so fast the chair rocked then fell back, clattering onto the floor. San stayed where he was, feeling utterly helpless as you crumbled to the floor. You balled your fists on the wood floor, tears splatting on your skin and then floor. Despite wanting so bad to go to you, he stayed in the same spot, not wanting to step over the line.

"God, I'm such a fucking bitch." You whimpered to yourself and he couldn't disagree more.

"No, no, precious girl, you're not." He finally got up, kneeling back in front of you, but not trying to touch or hold you.

"Yes, I am! I…God, I used you. I took the chance, and I shouldn't have. I…What about…" You heaved for air and he felt his heart breaking. Sighing, he shifted to sitting with his legs crossed instead, waiting patiently for you to calm down.

"What about Wooyoung?" Your voice was quiet, but not only did he know what you were going to say, he had a feeling that's what your issue was. He felt a bit like he took advantage of you since you were obviously emotionally weak at the time. Why did you feel like that? Did it hurt to see you so upset because of your feelings for his best friend? Of course. But he knew the situation going into it.

"I'm sorry, San. I can't do this. You're Wooyoung's best friend-"

"Are you in love with Wooyoung, or is it just a crush?" His question threw you off.

"I…I don't-"

"Why are you waiting for him when it's possible he'll never go to you? I'm right here." He insisted and you sniffed, trying to stop your tears.

"But if there's a chance-"

"Look, I didn't want to go here, but… Wooyoung is in love with your sister, okay? He doesn’t just like her, or have a crush on her, he's in love. If you're not in love with him, you can drop it, right? …I'm right here." His voice had gotten a bit unsteady, his own emotions becoming difficult to control.

"I think you should go home." Your sobs had quieted, but that sentence pierced him harder than everything else. He wanted to argue, try and convince you, but if you needed space, he would give it to you.

By the time his bag was packed and he was leaving Wooyoung's room, you had gotten up off the floor, picked up the chair and was cleaning the dishes from breakfast.

"If you need anything…" He drifted off, hand on the doorknob. You trudged over to the door as he opened it, planning on locking the door with the chain after he was gone. You wouldn't meet his eye, and he prayed desperately that you wouldn't have a nightmare that night without him or anyone else there.

When the door closed, you slowly locked it with the chain, dropping your hand. He was standing on the other side of the door, not wanting to leave yet. He closed his eyes tight when he heard your start to cry again. You leaned against the door after it shut, sliding to the floor in a heap, sobbing once again. You were beginning to realize you liked San, liked him back. Maybe even more than Wooyoung, which was terrifying. Just over the short amount of time he had been staying with you, he had needled his way into your heart, more than as just a friend. Little did you know, San was still on the other side of the door, trying not to cry himself listening to you sob. Your near wails quieted as new feelings bubbled up. You thought you wanted him gone, so you could process, but thinking of him leaving shattered you.

"Please, please, please." He suddenly heard you speaking, stepping away from the door. He heard the chair rattle as you unlocked the door and opened it. You weren't expecting him to still be right there, but relief washed over you. You began to cry again, more in relief, and he immediately went back in. He dropped his bag and returned your embrace, hugging you close to him as you cried. San rested his cheek against the side of your head, petting your soft hair, a few tears of his own hitting your shoulder.

"(Y/N), oh sweet girl." He sniffed, easily holding you when you went limp in his arms. You let him lift you princess style, refusing to loosen your arm's hold around his neck and shoulders. Kicking the door closed, he carried you over to the couch, sitting down so you could sit on his lap. Your sobs ceased, his hands rubbing comfortingly over your back.

"I'm sorry." Your soft whimper hurt him, to hear you so defeated.

"(Y/N), precious, why are you so sorry?"

"I…I used you."

"How?"

"I was upset and took advantage of your feelings for me."

"I know." You pulled back abruptly, gaping at him.

"Sweetheart, I took advantage of you too. You were vulnerable-"

"San, San…" He had started to ramble nonsense, so you cupped his jaw, bringing his attention back to you.

"I'm sorry I was being…" You licked your lips, thinking, "I let my feelings for Wooyoung cloud my real- You asked if I loved Wooyoung? No, I don't. It is just a crush…" Your thumb ran over his cheekbone, his wide, beautiful eyes shining up at you.

"I know that I'm not your first choice. I understand that. Honestly, I don't care if I'm your second choice, or even your third. All that matters, is that you choose me in the end." You sniffled at his words, huffing a slightly sad laugh.

"I thought that there was only one choice, but…"

"But?"

"You're right here." You sighed, your own face softening; you had finally rationalized everything. Why your heart thumped so fast, why his actions brought tears to your eyes…Why you needed him to hold you to keep the nightmares away and why they came back when he wasn't there.

"(Y/N)… I didn't want to overwhelm you, but- I love you. I love you so much, I have for so long." His own emotions were bubbling up, his own eyes tearing up along with yours.

"We've known each other, what, five years?" You nodded, whimpering, trying to not cry harder.

"I started liking you three months in. It was when you went to adopt Cookie, and you were mobbed by all the puppies. You laid there, giggling, and I wanted to be one of those dogs. So bad."

"F-for that long?" You were so shocked you stopped crying. San hummed, rubbing your back, hand slipping under your tank top.

"I've held back so much. Every time you have something on your lip, I want to kiss it off. If you’re cold, I want you to have my jacket. I want to buy every little charm or pretty thing that makes me think of you. To go to Namsan tower and put a lock on with you…" He stopped when you slumped forward, resting your cheek on his shoulder, and he hugged you closer. Your heart had been wanting to break earlier, but all his sweet words filled the cracks in with gold.

"I'm sorry I was so blind, and selfish, and stupid. I'm sorry I can't say I love you back, because I really don't know at this point. But I do know-" you sat up to look at him, "I really, really like you. Will you forgive me for being a horrible person?"

"You're not a horrible person, sweetheart. Not only are your emotions everywhere, you're sleep deprived." His hand went to cup your cheek, brushing another stray tear away.

"Will you show me something?" You bowed your head a bit, face reddening, hands fiddling with the bottom of his sweatshirt.

"Whatever you want, precious."

"Can you show me again, how you feel about me?" Your voice was soft, a bit embarrassed, thinking of what you had asked him that night. Yes, you were sore, but in the best possible way, and you wanted- needed him again.

"Are you sure, pretty girl? I don't think I can hold back like last night." His voice was low, but his gaze had sharpened. What the hell did he mean by that? He held back? What the fuck was he going to do that was more intense than last night?

"You held back?" You questioned and he huffed, a sexy and smug smirk gracing his handsome face.

"Hm. I did. Can you handle me full force?" His eyebrow rose in question and you swallowed hard; he could hear it.

"I think I can…" Your voice was quiet, quivering, but you were excited. Your cunt throbbed, still sore but you were getting hot quickly.

"I need a solid answer, precious."

"Yes. I can." His smirk glitched into a giddy smile for a second, but he gathered his composure.

"What should I do first…?" He wondered aloud, many different possibilities running through his head.

"Can I make a suggestion?" You tried to sound coy and smug like him, but it didn't really work.

"Of course, sweetheart."

"I…" You exhaled carefully, normally not so shy, "I want to swallow your cock." Your eyes flitted up to look at him and his eyes rolled back in his head as he groaned.

"Precious, are you sure? I don't want to hurt you-"

"I want you to fuck my throat, then cum down it." You were building your confidence back up from the response you got from him. Your lips were at his ear, your tongue flicking the little earring he had in, then you kissed the side of his neck.

"On the floor then, baby girl." He almost gasped at how fast you scrambled off of his lap, eagerly and obediently sitting on your knees. You watched with wide eyes as he took his sweatshirt off, then removed the tank he had on underneath. San bit his lip, trying to not giggle as you ogled him. He noticed your hands twitch on your lap, ready to take his pants off yourself.

"Tell me, do you mind if I do all the work?" The intention was clear in his words and tone.

"Yes, please~" You shuffled in your crouch, but stayed still. Your eyes zeroed in on the bulge in his pants, whimpering in need as he once again let his pants fall. His cock was only about half hard; you wiggled your jaw knowing it would end up sore too. You wanted to be sore completely and all over when he was done with you. His hand wrapped around his cock, stroking it a few times, stepping forward so he was within reach, but you stayed still.

"What a good girl you are." He hummed and you eagerly opened your mouth when the head of his dick touched your lips. You groaned at the taste of him, swirling your tongue around the tip, sucking lightly.

"Fuck-" San sighed, hands going to your hair, leading his cock deeper and deeper into your mouth. When he hit the back of your throat, you looked up at him with wide, hazy eyes. As he heard you take a large inhale through your nose, he kept going and your whole body shuddered as his cock went down your throat. Your cunt clenched desperately against itself, not having anything inside to satisfy it.

"Oh, fucking hell, sweetheart." He groaned, your nose pressing to his pelvis. He was impressed you hadn't gagged yet, but you were swallowing over and over trying to get used to the sensation. He stayed there like that for a second, to the point where your head began to swim a bit, the lack of air intoxicating. When he pulled his hips back, just enough that you could desperately suck air in through your nose, he registered the depth that allowed you to breathe.

"Count, precious. I'll bottom out every five thrusts, 'kay?" He instructed and you nodded with a whine in acknowledgement. You tried to hold you jaw in the same position, eagerly sucking on his cock as he thrust, inhaling deep when he went all the way. Each time he groaned, grinding his pelvis against your face. You knew he had stamina, and even though he didn't block your airway each time, your vision was spotting a bit, but not enough for you to stop him. The taste of his precum building made your mouth water, a mix of your saliva and the salty fluid dripping on the hard wood floor and your lap. The slick sound and the mess on your face and his cock brought him that much closer. San smirked at the prick of tears in the corner of your eyes, welling up from his fat cock battering your throat.

"Mmh~ I'm going to cum down your throat, precious. Just like you wanted~" His airy chuckle turned to a groan and he tossed his head back, struggling to keep his rhythm. His dick pulsed hard on your tongue and you finally moved yourself, hands going to his butt, holding him so he couldn't pull back.

"Fuck-!" He grunted and came, pumping thick globs of hot cum into your mouth and throat. You kept swallowing, only gagging a bit then from the sticky substance and he finally pulled out so you could catch your breath. More saliva and cum dripped off your lips, your mouth open, panting. A drop landed on your chest, running down the skin and in between your breasts.

"Such a good girl, love." San grinned at your dazed expression, wide glossy eyes peering up at him.

"You safe?" You took a second to register his question, mind still foggy.

"Pill." You managed to get out hoarsely, throat protesting for several reasons.

"Good, because I'm gonna pump you full." He smirked. You held your hands up for him to help you stand, but he instead bent, wrapping his around your back and lifting you like a child under your arms. The ease to which he did so turned you on even more and you used your own core strength to lift your legs and wrap them around his middle.

He walked forward, pressing you into the wall by the door, cock fully hard again, rubbing over the damp spot of your shorts. Working with him to get your clothes off, your shorts were still dangling off of your ankle when his cock plunged into you. The sudden burn made your cunt clench hard around him and he hissed, still a bit sensitive from his orgasm. You were plenty wet, and he had just fucked you hours prior, but he was so big. It made sense why he prepped you before, and it didn't help you were still sore. But you could not care less, the stinging pain just added to your euphoria.

San groaned when your nails dug into his back for leverage, scratching red welts into the skin.

"Ready?" He didn't wait for your response, thrusting up hard and shallow twice, then rolling his hips to slam into you full force. You threw your head back hitting the wall a bit hard, but you were too immersed in San and his animal pace. Your breasts bounced with every thrust and you held onto his shoulders for dear life. He had your legs over his elbows again, getting as close to you as he could, piercing your core with sharp movements, dragging you hopelessly fast to orgasm. It was hard to catch your breath and moan, let alone speak words, tears built in your eyes. When they rolled over your cheeks, he leaned in to lick the salt away. He hated seeing you cry from sorrow or from being upset, but watching tears of pleasure flow over your red cheeks went straight to his cock. So cute.

"You're so freaking pretty, precious. Love my cock so much you just wanna cry?" His chuckle was slightly patronizing.

"Just go dumb, baby girl, think of nothing but my dick in your tight little cunt."

"San!" You gasped, your next climax starting. He slowed his pace so you could ride the waves, but didn't want to overstimulate you yet, so he forced his pelvis against your swollen clit. With each rolling crest of pleasure, your cunt leaked, making another mess on the floor.

San pulled away from the wall, walking to a different part of the apartment and you protested vehemently when he slowly pulled his cock from your still spasming pussy. He set your feet down, spinning you around and you immediately placed your hands on the window to stay upright- Wait, window!? You gaped, looking out toward the park you could see from the window.

"S-San-?"

"No one can see you up here, at least I don't think…" He chuckled and didn't allow any more argument and fucked back into you.

"Fuck!" You nearly screamed. Somehow, he was even deeper than before, and the front of his hips slapped against your ass with each pound. Your hot breath was fogging the window, even the heat from your palms did so. San's fingers pressed so hard into your flesh; you knew there would be bruises there for sure, maybe darker than the faint yellow ones on your inner thighs from the night before. Struggling a bit with the height difference, you were forced onto your tippy toes, legs quivering as each stroke of his thick cock sapped more and more of your strength.

"Huh, I'm close precious. Gonna fill you up, fuck you full~" He licked his lips like a hungry dog. You squeaked when his strong grip weaved through your hair, wrapping your braid in his first, tugging lightly as he ground his cock as deep as possible, filling your womb with even more of his seed. It was so hot; he was so deep and even the sensation of him tugging on your hair felt so good. Your body eked out another smaller orgasm, helping him ride his out. He was still hard, albeit a little bit less so. You didn't know if your poor little cunt and body could take much more, but your mind didn't care. If we wanted to rail you till you passed out, you would thank him when you came to. When San pulled his cock out again, more globs of cum leaked out of your abused hole, which still was twitching. He smirked at your quivering body, not having moved much, and cooed as he easily picked you up like a sack of potatoes, then transitioned to a princess carry. Your head flopped as you panted for air, waiting patiently as he carried you back to your room, shutting the door to prevent your pup from following. However, when he put you on the bed, he didn't join right away, instead heading for your standing mirror. He moved it to rest facing the side of your bed and you hazily registered the act. Letting him maneuver you, he sat with you on his lap, back facing him, proud cock arching against your cunt.

"Look there, precious." His hand lightly gripped your jaw, forcing your head to turn and see your reflection. You were an absolute mess, but you were too focused on his equally messy cock and the fact that it still wasn't back inside you.

"San, hurry, please!" You whimpered and he chuckled at your insistence, lifting you and slowly pushing you down onto him again. His legs were spread so your knees resting over them were spread wide too, leaving a perfect view of your small pussy taking his girthy dick.

"Fucking gorgeous, (Y/N)." He praised, kissing the side of your head, jaw still in his grasp to make sure you watched.

"I want you to remember this, how it looks when I fuck you, and that no one will ever be able to after me." His words made you whimper, the small noise rising in pitch and volume as he started to thrust up into you, also moving you with the arm around your middle. Like you were being hypnotized you watched San's cock pull out halfway before sinking back into you, so much cum and slick dripping from where he sat inside you.

"You're so hot like this." San grunted, the hand on your stomach sliding down to circle your clit. It stung, overstimulated, and you felt his dick pulsing; he was close too.

"One more for me precious, one more." He coached, then one, two, he came again. There was no more room inside you, the thick white jizz spilled over, mixing with the squirting slick and making yet again another mess on the floor. You both were panting, reveling in the afterglow, and sleep was trying to consume you once again. Later, you were mad at yourself, for not choosing San sooner. He should never have been the second choice.

Masterlist

[rustedhearts]

every corner (steve harrington x fem!reader)

summary: it's been 7 months since you said goodbye to steve. most exes that fell out of love move on and never speak. but you never really fell out of love, did you?

uses she/her pronouns and female anatomy.

♡ everytime (part one) ♡ the library ♡ the record store

tags: mention of past substance abuse; angst; hurt/not much comfort; pining and yearning; smut.

a/n: here we are, an entire year later. hope you enjoy. love you (and soft, sad everytime steve) forever!

ko-fi (because i graduated from college recently if you wanted to leave a tip!)

"nothing happened in the way I wanted, every corner of this house haunted. and I know you said that we're not talking...but I miss you."

— i miss you, i'm sorry, gracie abrams

halloween night, 1999

The familiar tune of Michael Myers' entrance has you clutching the knitted blanket closer to your chest, cowering behind your knees to shield the tv. The grainy picture glows through the living room, illuminating half-eaten Chinese takeout and four cherry Pepsi cans. You had a bucket of popcorn on the cushion beside you and a bag of Red Vines near your feet. A party for one, completely alcohol free.

It's been four months since you've had even a sip, and it pained you to say that maybe your friends were right. You did have a problem.

You were still gaining their trust and friendship back, tiptoeing around past mistakes and attempting to right them.

After that drunken night at Eddie's house over the summer—when Steve rescued you from stupor and tucked you into bed—your friends had an intervention. Sat you down—sober, grumpy, and lashing out—and fixed you with some tough love.

"Clinging to Steve isn't gonna help either of you move on," Robin said. "It's not gonna help you get better. And you need to get better."

You sat back on Eddie's couch with your arms crossed and your legs tucked up, glaring at the wall above her head. Back then, you took their stern attitudes as hatred. You thought they were being mean, coming down on you for your own heartbreak.

But they were ten steps ahead of you. They saw the spiral before you could even recognize it happening.

"You're not in it alone, Steve has some fault in this, too. But...I think you guys need some time apart. Real time, no contact. It's the only way I think you'll get sober."

You moved your eyes to Eddie, who was wringing his hands together and tossing you a furrow-browed look. Gwen massaged his bicep lovingly, and you turned your eyes away again.

"We love you," Gwen added. "But when you're drunk, or high...you're harder to love."

So you stopped drinking. Stopped smoking anything that wasn't nicotine, started sublimating with caffeine. It wasn't a complete cold break, but you had to start somewhere.

The only downside to sober life was the distance you felt from your friends. The parties and get-togethers didn't stop, but you had to stop attending most of them. Of course, you didn't expect your friends to stop drinking or smoking just because you did. Eddie Munson would always be a pothead—but he wasn't an addict. He didn't have to keep himself away from it, because he knew when to stop. That was the difference between you and your friends.

Your lack of control.

Which is why, when your phone rang every few weeks and Steve's voice came through the other side, you just...didn't tell anyone about it.

You figured they must've sat him down and had a similar conversation to yours. Told him to stay away, move on, find some other way to cope that didn't involve bothering you.

But they didn't get it. You grew up together. You can't just forget your first love.

And right now, you're sitting on the couch cushion closest to the end table where your phone waits. You find your eyes meeting the still and silent cradle every few scenes, and every time you get up to get another snack or use the bathroom, you're on high alert. Waiting for the shrill ring. Waiting for the call you know is coming.

Because Eddie and Gwen host a Halloween costume party every year, and Steve is always in attendance. Despite his distaste for getting drunk and stupid, he loves a competition—and he always wins best costume.

And right now Steve is 20 minutes away, sitting on a couch much like you are, nursing a lukewarm beer and staring at a couple cuddled in the armchair. He watches the man tuck her hair behind her ear, watches the girl kiss his jaw and nuzzle her nose in his neck. You used to do that. Used to tell him how good he smelled after working up a sweat, licking it from his skin without apology.

Steve pinches his eyes shut, inhaling sharply. He needs to stop thinking about you. He needs to stop remembering the way you touched his body, the way you loved him with your mouth and hands because you never knew how to use your words.

The blunt edge of his nail rips the soggy paper wrapped around his beer bottle. He's itching to call you. He quite literally feels sick about the thought of forgetting the way you pronounce his name, the way your voice wraps around words in their own special way. He can't remember which version of 'either' you used, and it's killing him.

He's forgetting you.

He can't forget you.

Eddie and Gwen are in the kitchen laughing and mingling with other couples. Robin's flirting with a girl in the corner, hand pressed against the wall above her head. They'll go home together, and Steve will go home alone.

No one's watching. So, he picks up the phone.

He dials your number with quick and eager fingers, gripping the phone with antsy hunger. His heel bounces on the carpet, fingers drumming his knee.

Your eyes slide to the phone a split second before it rings. Every nerve in your body began to buzz in anticipation before that first trill, and you almost knock over the popcorn in your hurried rush to receive the phone.

But you pull back. Sit back on the couch and retract your hand. You watch the phone shake on the cradle stand, rattle the lamp behind it on the table. It rings once, twice, three times. At Eddie's, Steve thinks about hanging up and grows sicker.

You pick up the phone before it stops.

"Hello?"

Steve exhales, lets a smile touch his face. He focuses on the beer bottle wedged between his thighs to avoid seeming too giddy.

"Hey."

You slide back against the couch, turning the tv down. You fondle a sticky Red Vine mindlessly as silence passes between the pair of you. It's been two weeks since you last spoke—the longest you'd gone. Pathetic, isn't it? You haven't been together in almost seven months, yet you can't go more than two weeks without talking.

You tried not to let the thick, sick feeling in your throat at the thought mean much.

"You at home?"

You try not to giggle at the obvious. But he was just filling the space. He just wanted to hear you speak again.

"Yeah."

Steve tears another rip in the beer label. "Which Halloween are you on?"

Your gaze moves to the tv again, where you grin at the movie playing. "The third."

"Blech," Steve groans. "That one sucks."

"I know," you giggle at his playful distaste. "But I don't like skipping through a series."

Steve waits a beat. He rotates the bottle between his legs to peel the back. The beer sloshes around, and he knows the next swig of it will be disgustingly warm.

"All the lights on, too?"

Your eyes bounce around the room at the various lamps glowing soft yellow light through the room. The light filtering through the hall from your bedroom, the one clicked on above the sink in the kitchen. Your lip turns upward.

"Yeah."

Your chest squeezes at the thought of Steve knowing you so well. It wasn't that long ago that he was curled up next to you during a Halloween movie marathon, soothing you when you'd shriek, chuckling when you hid your face in his chest. He always took scary movies as an opportunity to cradle and baby you, because it wasn't often you let him.

Maybe that's why they were his favorite now.

Steve tugs the beer free from his legs and tipped back a swig. He winces as the warm liquid slid down his throat, face soured with disgust. His eyes slide toward the corner of the room where Robin and her current infatuation are giggling. He can hear Eddie's voice squawking in the kitchen, but it's growing closer.

He runs a hand down his face and shakes his head, knowing the next words to leave his mouth will be stupid and another space filler. "You scared?"

You snicker through your nose. He hears a soft snap when your teeth tear at a Red Vine. "Maybe a little."

He gnaws on his bottom lip a moment, gripping the neck of his beer bottle tightly. His stomach is in the knot of all knots, sitting somewhere between his chest and his throat. The next words are weighing him down and he spits them out before he loses the gall.

"Want me to come over?"

The line buzzes. Your living room vignettes, the top layer of skin under your sweatshirt littered with goosebumps. Swallowing down the candy comes with difficulty. You can only seem to stare at the bright light of the television, switching between pictures.

At Eddie's, Steve drops his head into his hands and tugs hard at the top of his hair, tapping the phone against his forehead in self-reprimand.

"Steve?"

He puts the phone back to his ear quickly. "Yeah?" His voice is so much smaller, croaked.

"Is that...is that a good idea?" You trust his judgement more than yours.

Steve cranes his head over his shoulder, peering around the corner into the kitchen. Eddie and Gwen are leaning against the kitchen sink, the latter tucked under his arm. He has a polaroid at the bottom of his sock drawer of all four of you in that very spot when Eddie first moved into the apartment. It was July and you did all the heavy lifting yourselves.

"I don't know," Steve sighs. His hand is still in his hair, twisting at the roots until it hurts.

But it still doesn't hurt as much as the squeezing in his chest.

"I don't think it is," you whisper.

Steve lets go of his hair and scratches at his stinging scalp. "Yeah. Yeah, yeah, you're right."

He taps his finger on the other side of the phone. He tightens his grip on the beer bottle and it creaks under the weight. He imagines himself throwing it across the room just to hear the shatter, but he would never do such a thing. Not in his best friend's home.

"Would it be the last time?"

Steve perks up, lifting his head from where it's drooped toward his lap. His cheeks suddenly hold a heat that burns, and it's traveling down his neck.

"Y-yeah. Yeah, it...it can be," he fumbles, swallowing thickly. He doesn't want it to be the last time.

You pluck a piece of stray popcorn from your sweater and toss it back into the bowl. You eye the mess on your coffee table and wonder how long it would take you to clean up and light a candle to mask the fact that you haven't cleaned in over a week.

Steve hasn't seen your new place. He hasn't seen how well you've been doing.

If anyone asks, you were just showing him.

"Okay...grab some more cherry Pepsi on your way over?"

Steve leaps from the couch, tugging the phone cord with him and dragging the tablecloth askew. He curses under his breath, jolting to grab the cradle before it falls off the end table.

"Ye-yeah—yes! I will. I'll...I'll be there."

Your lips press into a smile. "Okay."

He can barely contain his grin as he slams the phone down and clumsily fixes the end table back into its original state. He snatches his jacket thrown on the back of the couch and rushes out of the room, toward the kitchen where his keys are sitting near the stove.

"Hey, buddy," Eddie coos as Steve scrambles for his belongings. "Where ya been?"

Steve shoves his keys into his pocket, jacket balled in his fist. He barely spares Eddie or Gwen a glance as he pushes past the bodies blocking the door.

"Uh...I gotta go. Gotta, um..."

Steve pauses, shoe squeaking on the kitchen tile when he turns on his heel to face his friends. Heat rushes to his face again, cheeks coloring a deep red. He hooks his thumb over his shoulder toward the door.

When Eddie and Gwen blink at him, Steve sighs defeatedly and drops his hands. He neglects any attempt at an excuse in his eagerness to see you.

"I gotta go, guys."

Before either can interrogate his vagueness, Steve is spinning around and rushing the door, nearly knocking everyone else over along the way. He fumbles over his feet down the stairs to the lobby, where he flings the front doors open to the parking lot. The BMW clicks open easily, and he's thankful for her reliability as he starts the engine and screeches toward the street.

At home, you're throwing all trash into the bin and spraying perfume to hide the smell. You rake through your appearance to throw it into something more presentable, but you know Steve likes a frazzled, "lazy" look more than anything. He always said he preferred you in your pajamas or one of his faded t-shirts.

You're bent over grabbing a piece of crust from this morning's toast under the kitchen table when the door rattles under a heavy fist. You jerk up, hurriedly tossing the toast into the bin before pushing it back under the sink. You stand in front of the door for a moment, fussing with your hair and adjusting the hem of your sweater. You can hear Steve's shuffling behind the door, and when you peek through the peep-hole, he's anxiously running his hand through the front of his hair.

It's shorter, a little lighter—but always handsome.

The door swings open just as Steve lifts his fist to knock again. He's holding a single can of cherry Pepsi in one hand and his keys in the other.

You realize as your eyes roam his appearance, that he isn't even wearing a costume.

"Hi," he breathes.

You smile, pushing the door open all the way. "Hi."

One foot enters the doorway, sneaker thumping on the linoleum tile. It crunches under his weight when he steps all the way in, keys clattering on the doorframe when he presses his hand there. He hasn't changed his cologne since sophomore year of high school and it sends you spiraling back to homecoming football games and prom night in his backseat.

Your teeth dig into your cheek, gnawing down the swirling in your stomach as Steve's eyes mimic yours and trace your body. They start at your shoulders, roaming down to your feet where your toes curl under a pair of fuzzy pink socks. In the other room, the television shrieks with a horrific scream. Neither of you even flinch.

Instead, Steve pushes off the doorway and takes another step into the kitchen. He swings the door shut behind him and you jump when it slams. He doesn't even move. But his keys skate over the countertop when he throws them, and the cherry Pepsi can hisses on its roll toward the other side of the kitchen when it falls from his hand.

And then they're on your face—those big, warm hands. Cupping your cheeks and propping your jaw, pulling you in with a familiar, firm grip. They're squeezing the back of your neck when he slants his mouth over yours and inhales sharply. Breathing you in—because finally, finally he can breathe again.

You whimper against his teeth when your back bumps into the counter, and he's pulling you off by the back of your neck to move his hold down to your hips, cushioning them from the hard surface. Always the giver.

When you pop away from his mouth, you bring your fingers to your own, slick with saliva and pulsing with bitten soreness.

"What if we made a mistake?" Steve rushes out, eyes wild and settled on your face.

"W-what?"

"What if we made a mistake? We were kids, and maybe...maybe things would be better now—"

"Steve—"

"Don't say anything. Not yet. We can talk tomorrow. Just...if this our last night, I don't wanna spend it talking."

You meet his eyes, softening once more. One hand leaves your hip to brush your cheek and trail down your neck. He ghosts them over the spot below your ear, where you shiver and giggle when he breathes hot air.

"Okay." You nod.

And then his mouth is back on yours. His hands are moving and squeezing and grabbing, and his throat is thick with moans and uneasy breaths.

This is the last night, you think, as he lays you down in bed.

The last time, you promise, when he leaves every inch of your body covered in spit-soaked kisses.

And when the phone rings as he's sucking on your neck and digging bruises into your hips, you let it go. You know it isn't him on the other line, because he's finally in your arms again.

For the very last time.

[loud-sturniolos]

Crush, 1

A Chris Sturniolo fic

SUMMARY:

Chris finally realises he has a crush on his brothers best friend, and once he acknowledges it, the universe seems to be hellbent on making things awkward.

WARNINGS:

kinda cringe ngl😻, uses of Y/N, loosely based on Crush Culture by Conan Gray, sexual themes + male masturbation but no actual sex!(..yet), pet names, very badly written smut, not proof read, kind of a cliffhanger (bc I didnt know how to end it💀)

TROPES:

Friends to lovers, one bed, best friends brother.

A/N: I haven’t written in a while, writers block and depression kicking my ass rn🥲 Btw, Matt comforting Chris is so shit, im not good at writing stuff like that; sorryyy

It was 2:43AM, Chris, Matt, Nick & Y/N were still up, the TV played quietly in the background as they all sat in the living room.

Nick let out a loud yawn, tapping Y/N’s forearm. “When are you gonna go to bed?” He asks curiously, “Uh, I’ll go do my skincare now so we can sleep soon.” Nick hums in acknowledgment, getting up and following Y/N to his bathroom to help her with skincare.

After a few minutes of Matt and Chris being alone, the younger brother sits up and looks at Matt over his phone. “Matt?” He says gently, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “What’s up, Chris?” Matt mumbles, still mostly focused on playing Clash of Clans on his phone. “I think I like Y/N.” The younger brunet blurts out, not knowing how to start the conversation. Matt’s eyes widen, immediately his eyes go to Chris’s subtly flushed face. Matt stays silent for a moment, unsure of what to say.

“Is.. that a bad thing?” He finally says in a caring tone after a beat of silence, “I..” Chris stutters, staring down at his lap as he thinks. “I don’t want it to be a bad thing.” He replies. “Then why don’t you tell her?” Matt has now moved to sit next to Chris, rubbing his younger brothers arm comfortingly. “I can’t do that. What if it ruins our friendship? What if she doesn’t like me back? What if I don’t actually like her? What if I me-“ Chris starts rambling anxiously, which Matt cuts off by shoving his hand over Chris’s mouth. “Dude. Calm down. It’s fine, you’re fine.” He says bluntly, but clearly with brotherly love. Chris mumbles a “sorry..” through Matt’s hand, “Chris, shes your best friend. If she does, it wont ruin your friendship. Promise.” Before Chris could reply, Y/N walked back downstairs. “Chris, I’m using your shower.” She says casually as she walks through the room, then towards Chris’s bathroom as Nick’s shower can be heard being turned on elsewhere in the house.

Matt stood up after a few minutes of silence, “I’m gonna go to bed.” He said, glancing at Chris. “Me too, night Matt.” Chris stands up too, both the men walking to their respective rooms.

After half an hour, Chris hears his bedroom door open. He glances up and sees Y/N stood at the door in a bra and pyjama shorts, and all the blood immediately starts rushing down south, and to his pale cheeks. He cleared his throat, “Uh.. can I help you with anything?” He mumbled, trying not to stare right at his best friends chest which was on full display. “I forgot my pyjama shirt, can I borrow one of your shirts?” She asked, oblivious to his distraction. “Can you not borrow one of Nick’s?” He says with a raised eyebrow, but still climbing out the bed and getting her a shirt. “I’m pretty sure Nick’s asleep, I don’t want to wake him up.” She replies, walking over to take the shirt out Chris’s hands and pull it over her head. A subtle smile tugged at Chris’s lips, “So, where are you sleeping then?” He asked curiously, glancing down at the shorter girl as she readjusted her hair out the shirt. “I’ll just sleep on the sofa.” The girl replied with a nonchalant shrug. Chris raised an eyebrow and gently grabbed her elbow, pulling her just a bit closer. “You can sleep in my bed, it’s big enough for 2. I don’t want you to sleep on the uncomfy couch.” He said softly, smiling slightly at the girls slightly flustered expression. “..okay.” She mumbled shyly, following Chris to the bed.

“I like seeing you in my shirt.” Chris said without thinking, a blush immediately covering his and Y/N’s face. Y/N stayed silent, unsure of how to reply. Chris stayed silent too, quietly cursing to himself in embarrassment. After a few minutes, Chris can hear Y/N’s breathing softening. He glances over to see her peacefully asleep, and so he decided to try sleep too.

The next morning, Chris wakes up first. He pauses when he feels a weight on top of him, looking down he sees Y/N with her head on his shoulder, one arm around his waist, and one leg thrown over his hips, her knee placed right on top of his erection. Chris’s face turned a bright red, a small groan leaving his lips as he tried to subtly shift Y/N off him, but of course, Y/N wakes up.

“Fuck..” Chris whispers to himself, gently nudging Y/Ns knee off his crotch and making sure to keep his throbbing hard on away from her. “G’morning..” The girl grumbled, clearly still half asleep. “Morning.. I need a shower.” Chris says, standing up and grabbing a shirt before bolting out his room and towards his bathroom.

Chris quickly strips and gets into the shower, he debates for a moment about turning the shower cold, but he decides not too. Instead, his hand trails down and slowly wraps around his shaft, a low moan leaving his plump pink lips as he slowly starts to stroke it.

His mind is full of fantasies, and memories, all of Y/N. He starts to stroke faster, harder, his hips thrusting into his fist. His free hand holds up his weight against the shower wall, biting his bottom lip to muffle the moans. “F- fuck, ma..” He groaned as he finished, the sticky white substance going down the drain with the water quickly.

A soft sigh leaves Y/N’s lips as she stands up from Chris’s bed, she wandered out Chris’s room after brushing her hair. She heard the shower turn off in Chris’s bathroom and decided to do her skincare in his bathroom instead of Nick’s, so she went towards the door and knocked gently. “Yeah?” Chris yelled through the door, assuming it was Matt or Nick. Y/N walked in without thinking, only to be met with Chris naked stepping out the shower. Both paused, a bright red spreading across Chris’s pale cheeks and up his ears. Y/N, after getting over the shock, tried her best to not look at Chris’s on-display crotch. Chris scrambled and grabbed a towel as Y/N turned and quickly left the room, yelling a “sorry!” as she bolted down the hall. Chris quickly tugged his boxers and sweatpants on before bolting after Y/N. “Wait- Y/N!” He yelled after her.

@sturnioloshacker @sturnsbabie (hope y’all don’t mind being tagged😞)

[st7rnsangels]

— rumours put to rest. chris sturniolo | versus tour

sypnosis. with all the girls flirting and complimenting with y/n’s famous boyfriend, chris sturniolo, she begins to feel self conscious of if she actually deserves this mini-celebrity she caught herself, especially with their relationship being a secret. bf!chris realized this and decided to put the rumours to rest once and for all.

warnings. flangst? self-consciousness, crying / comfort, fem!reader, that’s really all.

a/n. not sure where this inspiration came from but i’m feeling sappy today. also first post!!!!! like and reblog to support your favourite writers<3333

“ the need to be the best before the need to rest .. “

this was it; the versus tour was finally here, and my boyfriend was going on stage in front of hundreds of people.

a lot of girls found him attractive, that i knew was inevitable. but i could never get rid of this sickly feeling.

while he was out there, being admired by all these pre-teen girls, i was sat inside the trailer watching through a live-camera.

i wanted to be out there. i wanted to be the one admiring him.. he is my boyfriend of six months, after all.

and don’t get me wrong — chris is an amazing boyfriend, and i couldn’t have asked for a better soulmate to be paired with, but i was sick of being a secret.

i knew staying secret was the better choice, both for him and for me. i didn’t like the spotlight, and i didn’t want to deal with the rude comments by jealous girls, and he simply wasn’t ready to reveal our relationship yet.

i understood it, all of it.

yet, i couldn’t help but feel horrible about the situation i put myself in.

i watched as the girl brought on stage to be on his team was a little overly touchy, grabbing his arm, talking to him.

it was all in good-heart, i knew that, yet.. i still felt that twinge of my heart at every touch or glance or words spoken between them, telling me that it should be me on that stage making him laugh under his breath.

it hurt. my heart hurt from the guilt and sadness of being remained a secret, and i didn’t like it. at all.

i quickly wiped the tear from my cheek as i tried to remain positive seeing my boyfriend happy, and smiling, but it was hard with the constant flow of tears from my eyes that just didn’t seem to stop.

shit. why am i crying?

a voice is spoken from my phone, “alright, guys, we have to get going, but thank you so much for coming, it was a blast tonight!” nick said in the mic, turning to his brothers to signify it was time to go.

“awwww!” the crowd erupts.

“thank you guys!” matt’s distant voice says to the mic as he grabs his jacket and moves toward the exit.

chris waves goodbye to his parter that was brought onto the stage, giving her a quick smile and waving to the crowd as he followed his brother.

fuck. why did that hurt so bad? it shouldn’t, really.

i shut my phone off, tossing it across the tiny tour bed, and curled into myself. i brushed my tears away, running fingers through my hair.

it was all lighthearted, that’s what i should be thinking.

but the girl he was with was so beautiful. the kind of beautiful that makes your breath stop and your head feel dizzy.

looking at myself in the mirror across from the bed, i sigh.

chris should be with that kind of girl: effortlessly pretty, good smile, bubbly personality.. yet, i was the opposite. he clicked with her, because that was his match — the same loudness, eagerness, excitement and energy, she should be his type of match.

before i can spiral into my thoughts any longer, the door to the tour bus opens.

“oh my god, i’m spent.” nick huffs, placing his wallet and phone on the small table and falling against the couch.

“tell me about it, all day travelling and then a three hour show? i’m exhausted.” matt says, dropping his keys and jacket against the kitchen counter.

realizing they had already made their way to the bus, i quickly wipe my tears.

“hey, y/n.” nick waves, and i peek my head out, flashing the best smile i could.

“hi, nick.” i say back, huffing at the small croack in my voice.

and then, there was chris.

i watch as he walks over to me, smile on his face as he grabs my cheeks and kisses my forehead. “hi, baby.” he says, pulling away to look at my face.

and when his eyes land on my puffy eyes, tear stained cheeks, his brows furrow.

“are you.. okay?” he whispers, quickly glancing to nick and matt who shrug their shoulders. he lets go of my face, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear.

“yeah, um, i’m — i’m fine.” i sniff, wiping my tears, “just missing home.”

his eyes run over my face, almost as if inspecting me.

he leans closer, whispering. “do you wanna go outside? so we can talk.”

i glance toward nick and matt, pretending not to be listening, yet they were horrible at hiding their curiosity.

looking back to chris, i nod. he gives me a smile, lending out his hand which i take. the warmth of his hand seeps into my palm, giving me almost instant comfort he seems to always be able to give me.

he leads me toward the door, making a silent, quick gesture and muttering for matt to move his ass, which he does.

and as soon as that door opens, and i take a step outside, i feel instantly calmed down. i realized now that i had spent basically the last twelve hours inside that trailer.

chris squeezes my hand as we walk down the road, listening to the soft sounds of the forest and buzzing streets of the city ahead of us.

and as we found a place against a wall, he sighs and stops, leaning against it.

“so.. what’s wrong?” he says, letting go of my hand, wiping a small tear that i hadn’t realized ran down my cheek.

“i dunno, i just —.. i think i’m overreacting, it’s nothing to really—“

“baby.” chris cuts my off, resting a hand on my cheek, “it’s just me,” he tucks my hair behind my ear, “talk to me.”

i bite my lip. ponder his words.

“that girl you were partnered with today on stage?” i offer.

“what about her?” he asks.

“it’s just.. i dunno.” i look to my hands, picking at my nails, “she was so beautiful. and funny, and outgoing..”

his brows furrow, “where are you going with this?”

my teeth sink back into my lip, “do you ever.. think about how different our lives are?

“i mean, i’m this college student, becoming a teacher, and you’re a celebrity.” i shrug my shoulders, “do you ever think about being with.. with someone more compatible?”

“wait, just—“

“that girl in there, she was just like you.” i chuckle, before sniffing, “loud, funny, all bubbly and smiley like that..”

“y/n—“

“and i’m just.. some book nerd.”

“Y/N.” chris says, placing two hands on my shoulders. “please, let me talk.

my lips form a tight line, my throat aching from a sob wanting to come from my throat.

“i love you.” he says in a breathy tone, “only you. i don’t care about how different our lives are; you’re the only girl i want.”

“you.. you love me?” i whisper.

a smile forms on his lips as he brushes a thumb across my cheek.

“of course i do, dummy.” he says, pulling me closer by a hand on my back clothed by his hoodie — his favourite hoodie.

“now, can you stop crying so i can kiss you?” he says, licking his lips, “‘been thinking about you the whole show.”

i giggle. “you’re such a loser.”

“only for you, baby.”

[hotgirlssupportlando]

one day x lando norris pt 3

this is a part of my series following one day of every summer from 2016 onwards in y/n’s and landos lives, exploring their friendship and love for one another. ofc not a smooth ride with some angst and fights along the way. a friends to lovers, growing up together kind of thing. read first part here pairing: lando norris x fem!reader summary of this part: y/n having a hard time adjusting to life at uni so she turns to her friend lando for comfort warnings: none? a little sad wc: 1,1k a/n: sorry it has been a while since posting, i've been finishing my masters thesis and processing lando's first win!!! yayyy :) BUT i'm going to upload more frequently now x

late summer of 2018

y/n was on the verge of tears, breathing heavily to calm herself as the outgoing facetime call echoed in her university dorm room. she was sat on the floor of the dark room with her back uncomfortably leaning against her bed.

”please, please, pleease lando pick up” she whispered desperately, praying that he wasn’t too busy preparing for another upcoming f2 weekend. seconds felt like minutes when the only person she wanted to talk to didn’t pick up his phone. y/n sighed and was about to end the call when the  deafening silence suddenly was cut with a loud and excited ”hellooo my smart girl!!”. in about two nanoseconds y/n could see that lando was at the gym training with jon, immediately regretting that she called.

”oh i’m sorry i can call you later” y/n said trying to sound as happy as she could in the state that she was in. but lando knew her from inside and out so her act wasn’t very convincing.

”hey y/n, what’s going on? are you okay?” lando said after processing the sight.

”yeah no it’s nothing.. i can call you when you’re done training” y/n said as she faked another smile. 

”y/n seriously you have a nice smile but you can’t convince anyone with that, i can see from miles away that something’s wrong. and however i’m done with training so i’m all yours” lando said with a concerned voice as he walked over to a private part of the gym. 

”thanks lan.. I, I just-” y/n whispered, looking away from the boy up to the ceiling to prevent any tears from developing. ”I just don’t fit in here lan.. it’s not at all what i thought it would be”

”oh darling.. i’m sorry to hear that”

”i just don’t know what to do, i haven’t even got any friends lando! how pathetic is that?? i’m surrounded with geeks and people with zero social skills who all have found friends but not me? ugh i just hate this place, i hate all these people..” 

the girl in his phone who had tried her best to keep it together bursted out into tears. ”you know how much i wanted this! i’ve always imagined that the university would be my thing, where i would find my place and blossom. but tell me how can i do that when all i manage to do is sit alone in classes, sit alone and eat and then go to my dorm to - surprise - sit alone on my bed being depressed.”

”i’m so sorry y/n..”

”…AND as the icing of the cake, not a single on of my friends are even close to fucking edinburgh - couldn’t somebody have prevented me from coming here? why didn’t i just stay in london where everybody else is? nooo, i just had to be special.” y/n sobbed as tears streamed down her face. 

”i ju-, just miss everyone so much lando. i miss my friends. i miss my family. i miss you. i miss you for not being five minutes from my home. i miss our drives and talks and laughs lando. it feels like i haven’t seen you in forever”

”i know y/n i miss you too, it has been too long since i saw you in any other place than my phone”

y/n wiped away her tears ”yeah.. i’m sorry i know you’re busy with everything in f2, i don’t mean to blame you for this.. i just miss your stupid hugs so damn much sometimes” she said as a small smile cracked upon her lips. 

”heey i didn’t know my hugs were that badly ranked” lando giggled receiving a laugh from y/n too. 

”and y/n?”

”hm?” ”why haven’t you told me that edinburgh is in a different timezone than london?” he asked.

”what? it isn’t? who tricked you into that?” y/n answered confused.

lando laughed, ”y/n look around you, it’s so pitch black in that room i can barely see you! the only thing my screen is picking up is your bleached teeth”

”lol lando it’s called depression” y/n laughed ”i’m always in depression-timezone, always hauntingly black surroundings, nothing for cheerful and life-enjoying boys like you” she joked.

”no, no, no let’s not go back to you being sad again, i just managed to make you happy again!!” lando proclaimed. 

”whoops sorry” she smiled ”no but seriously thank you lando, i really needed this. someone to vent to. but now i really have to go, i’m getting late to my class, even though i’m pretty sure no one’s missing me”

”stop it y/n, you’re missed, if not by your lame classmates then by me and all your friends and family”

”thanks lando, that’s very sweet of you. bye now” y/n smiled, this time genuinely. 

”bye darling”

—

hours later that night y/n was, like every other night, sat on her bed watching friends for the millionth time. her newly made tea was way too hot to drink so she put the mug on her bedside table. as she was on her way to snuggle back under her sheets watching her series she heard a knock from her door. y/n froze. without moving too much and making any noise she looked at the clock on her wrist. 23:38. after watching way too many documentaries she automatically drew the conclusion that it with most certainty was a killer of some sort. with this in mind she quietly picked up the nearest item to defend herself with, a hot cup of tea. 

it knocked on the door again. but it wouldn’t be possible for anyone to enter the building without anybody noticing, right? y/n calmed down a little bit, taking her phone with her to be able to call for help if it was needed. slowly she walked to her door and opened it. the sight in front of her was beyond what she had imagined. it was lando. there he was standing in her corridor in the middle of the night with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and 12-pack of pepsi max in the other. the sight made her revisit the memory of them meeting two years ago when he, with the same smirk on his face and a similar bouquet of flowers in his hand, won a bet against her leading to their first kiss. y/n smiled when she noticed the pepsi in his other hand, as he since that day in 2016 always provided her with the drink as some sort of consolation prize for the lost bet.

”i heard you were in need of a stupid hug” lando smiled

—

taglist

@amberpanda99 @phantomxoxo @landossainz @chezmardybum @lan4cha16

[coffeeghoulie]

Mushy May Day 9: Warming Them Up

Rain's always eager to get in the water as soon as he can, no matter how cold it is. Dew's there to warm him back up.

Thank you again to @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together <3

Divider by @ghuleh-recs <3

Dew's comfortable in bed, the lamp on the nightstand casting his room in soft gold light as the sun dips behind the horizon. It's spring, at least according to the calendar, just barely warm enough for the snow and ice to melt, revealing the budding green of life underneath.

It's still too cold for Dew's taste, but he had watched from his window all afternoon as Rain eagerly took his first swim of the year in the lake outside the Abbey. He's on his way back, and Dew knows exactly where Rain will end up.

He sighs, marking his place in the book he borrowed from Aether and setting it on the nightstand. He takes his gold wire reading glasses off and folds them, placing them on top of the well-loved paperback. He loves Rain, it had been a rocky start but he does love him now, but he does not miss the urge to get in the water at the first sign of spring.

Soon enough, the door creaks open, and Rain sticks his head in. Dew can hear the way his serrated teeth chatter from ten feet away. "Hey, D-Dewey," Rain says, long, elegant fingers curled around the doorframe.

"I've got a Rainsicle, don't I," Dew sighs endearingly, waving Rain in. "Now do you see why I made you promise last summer not to drag me out first thing after the thaw, pearl?"

Rain nods shakily, stepping into the warmth of Dew's bedroom and latching the door behind him. His hair is still soaking wet, plastered to his skin in blue-black waves, dripping down the back of what looks like Swiss's hoodie. His skin is bluer-tinged than normal, cheeks a dusky violet. "Felt nice while I was in," he shrugs.

"I bet. Stay there so you only drip in one spot." Dew stretches as he gets up out of bed. He ducks into his ensuite bathroom, digging out one of his softest towels from his closet. "Oh, and take those wet clothes off!" He calls.

"You just want to get in my pants, don't you?" Rain cackles, but there's the splat of wet fabric against the stone floor a moment later.

"I don't want you getting my bed all wet, you ass!"

"Oh, I beg to fucking differ, just the other night you wanted me to-"

"Ah! Shut it!" Dew calls, and they both burst into laughter. Dew steps out from the bathroom, towel in arm, but he doesn't go straight to the water ghoul. He heads to his dresser, pulling out a pair of sweats, boxers and a well-worn t-shirt, tossing them on the bed. Only then does he turn to face Rain, who's standing naked in a small puddle of lake water, teeth still chattering. Dew kicks up his internal fire, shaking his head fondly as he holds out the towel. "C'mere, pearl."

Rain steps forward, sighing in relief as Dew wraps the towel around him. "Thank you, Dewey," he says, letting his eyes shut while Dew dries him off, careful of the sensitive gills that line his ribs and throat.

"Don't thank me," Dew hums, reaching up to running his fingers through Rain's waves. He kicks up his temperature even more, helping the water evaporate from his hair as he gently untangles it. "This is me making up for not coming out with you for a swim."

Rain leans into the hand running through his hair, a low purr vibrating in his chest. "You don't like the cold though. I know you'll come out with me once the water actually warms up."

"Yeah, give it a couple more weeks," Dew laughs. Once he's deemed Rain dry enough, he tosses the towel to soak up the puddle Rain had left on his floor before turning to grab the bundle of clothes he set on his bed. "Hands on my shoulders, pearl."

Rain obliges as Dew kneels at his feet, wrapping his cold fingers around Dew's knobby shoulders. Dew presses a kiss to the sharp line of Rain's hip as he helps him step into his boxers. Dew glances up, copper meeting cerulean, and he leans ever so slightly into one of Rain's arms, smiling fondly.

The sweats are quick to follow, and Rain sighs, long lashes fluttering shut as he starts warming up now that he's in dry clothes. Dew stands, kissing Rain's cheek as he moves to grab the t-shirt, but Rain beats him to it, shrugging it on.

He takes a deep breath, burying his aquiline nose in the sage green fabric. He glances up, a spark of mischief swimming in the blue of his irises. "Mount's been sleeping over lately?"

Dew scoffs, rolling his eyes playfully as he pulls back the covers on his bed. "Like Aeth hasn't been staying over with you?"

"Touche," Rain sighs, but he's smiling as Dew lays on his side, patting the open space in front of him. He climbs into bed, settling with his back flush against Dew's narrow chest. The fire ghoul pulls the covers up, making sure each blanket lays flat over them, fighting for a moment with the lining of his weighted blanket.

Dew can feel Rain's body shaking, less so than when he first stuck his head in, but he gives up on fighting with the weighted blanket to hook his arm around his waist. He nudges a skinny thigh between Rain's as he hauls him even closer.

"Thank you," Rain whispers, nuzzling into the pillows, getting as close to Dew as he physically can. Dew smiles, lips pressed to the cool skin on the back of the water ghoul's neck.

"Don't thank me, pearl," Dew hums, breathing in Rain's scent. He still smells like the lake, a little bit like ice, but under that he just smells like Rain, salt and tea tree. Dew's purr kicks up in his chest, rusty like an old motor, and he holds his Rain close.

"Love you, Dewey," Rain says, a wave of exhaustion hitting him now that he's warming up and comfortable.

Dew kisses the nape of his neck, nuzzling at still damp waves. "Love you too, pearl."

[sweetlysniffly]

Yes yes yes we’re all familiar with the stubborn sickie; they swear up and down they’re not sick until they can’t deny it and have to accept help, or maybe just rest. But I wanna talk about a different kind of sickie that doesn’t get a lot of attention: the new to this sickie.

Character A and B are living together for the first time, and B has come down with a bad cold: fever, aches, sneezing, stuffy nose, sore throat, drowsiness, cough, headache, the works. But they grew up in an environment/household where staying home when they got sick and having someone tenderly take care of them was….rare. Whether for more abusive reasons or just the set of socioeconomic circumstances they found themselves in, having that classic tv show esque sick day experience really wasn’t in the cards for them.

Now that they live with A, and A can/genuinely wants to stay home and take care of them, B has to learn how to be a sickie with a caretaker. A immediately starts asking them things like “what’s your go to sick day movie” or what their go to “feel better” food is, or which brand of medicine they like. and B just…doesn’t know. They usually just sleep through being sick or power through if they can, so they really don’t really have a routine for comfort. So now A, a little disheartened at the thought of why B is this way, is determined to help B learn how to be a sickie.

A rubs vaporub on their chest and B is very confused at first but does come around to it.

What do you mean why I am I sleeping on the couch? So I don’t get you sick. Isn’t that what everyone does?

Why am I out of bed? You said that some tea would help my throat. so I’m making the tea?

Things where they still have to learn that someone can want to take care of them or just what some simple at home remedies even are.

[valsdelulucorner]

Imagine the brothers were mermaids

Ok but like, imagine instead of you going down to the devildom and meeting the brothers as demons, they were mermaids in the human world.

You were in a horrendous storm that completely destroyed your ship and killed all of your crewmates. You washed up on a deserted island and soon realized there were a few heads watching you from the water. After you calm down, Lucifer introduces himself and his 5 brothers, explaining that they saw you floating in the water face up and decided to save you. He then introduced you to his younger brothers, putting mammon in charge of taking care of you when your near the beach

There was a cove on the other side of the island that you were prohibited to go into, besides the only visible access to it was underwater, even then its blocked off by a large boulder. After hearing cries and begs from the cove, you looked around the top of the cove and found a small hole in the side of the rock, seeing another mermaid inside, Belphie.

After meeting him and making the pacts with the brothers, you manage to let him out by moving the large boulder infront of the enternece by using the powers of the pacts, and you know what happened when you let belphie out💀

Things happen after that, there was alot of tears and words but everything turned out well after the incident. Lucifer gave you a spell so you could breath after that though, hes not willing to have you suffocate and die after what happened with belphie

They all started to warm up to you after a while like in the actual story, growing a attachment to the pretty/handsome human they saved on the island. They may not be able to go onto land with you but after setting belphie free, you guys were able to set up a proper home that you all can share in the cove.

The cove is quite large with shallow pools littered around the area so the brothers can comfortably lay down without drying out but still allow them to be close to you. The dry parts of the cove is where they helped you make shelter by carrying in different resources for you to make a bed and stay warm at night. they are fascinated when you manage to find another way into the cove from land, fascinated by fire once your able to bring in dry wood

Once they start to grow more fond of you, you start to find more dead fish and shiny shells near your bed, not realising they are trying to court you more obviously. You still don't know why the others give each other the evil eyes for the day after you find a really shiny shell on your make shift pillow

. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer had deep red scales and a tail with a mix of red and black scales. His nails are sharp and his hands were covered in scales, running up his arms and ending at his elbow. He had red gills on his neck and in between his ribs. His fins were sharp-ish and the end of his tail was a nice pattern of red and black scales. The whites of his eyes were black while his pupils were red, slit irises. His tounge was a deep red aswell, teeth razor sharp like sharks. He took a shirt from a shipwreck and wraps it around his waist, tailoring it abit to make it actually a waist wrap and not just a shirt. Lucifer calls you his love

Mammon had vibrant yellow scales with his tail being a beautiful mix of yellow and white. His nails are less sharper then lucifer but still sharp, beautiful yellow scales littering his hands and ending at his forearm. He had dirty white gills around his neck while his gills on his chest were directly over each of his ribs. His fins are more flowy along the sides of his tail, his larger fin at the bottom of his tail being a beautiful mix of yellow, cream and white. The whites of his eyes were a bright yellow while his pupils were blue, thicker irises but still slits. His tounge is a nice shade of cream and his teeth are more like vampire teeth but with his bottom teeth having fangs aswell. He is covered in bangles and treasure, he pierced his own ears and tounge so he could use some of the jewelry. Mammon calls you his treasure

Leviathan has deep blue scales with his tail being a fade of purple blue at his hips to dark blue at the end of his tail. His nails aren't the sharpest out of the brothers but are can still be used as weapons, deep blue scales covering his hands and ending at just below his elbow. He has some scales littering his neck that complement his blue coloured gills, uneven gills along the underside of his ribs. He has a sea snake type tail, his fins being a nice, deep, translucent blue colour. The whites of his eyes are a nice light blue colour while his pupils are a orangey colour, the slits of his eyes being diamond shaped. His tounge is a purply blue colour, his tounge and teeth snake like. He found a ruri-chan bracelet after it fell off the side of a cruise ship and that bracelet has been on his wrist since, he's been on the hunt for anything else ruri-chan after that. Levi calls you his charm {ruri-chan ref}

Satan has some vibrant green scales with his tail being a mix of green and sea green scales. His nails are the sharpest of all the brothers while his hands are covered in green scales, running up his arm and ending at his bicep. He has deep green gills resting near the back of his neck, his gills being more near his back but still on his ribs. His fins are the sharpest out of his brothers and are a beatiful green colour, the fins at the bottom of his tail a mix of sea green and green. The whites of his eyes are a dark green while his pupil is a nice green, the irises of his eyes are spikey but still vaguely resemble slits. His tounge is spikey and deep green, his teeth alot sharper then Lucifer's, his teeth are made for shredding. He wears some silver jewelry on the tip of his fins to be able to lure fish in for dinner, he wears it more as a hunting tactic then a fashion statement. Satan calls you his darling

Asmo has the most gorgeous pink scales with his tail being a mix of cherry pink and raspberry pink. His nails are the dullest of the brothers but they are still lethal, his hands are littered with pretty pink scales that end at his wrists. His gills are a bright pink colour that are closer to the front of his jaw, the gills on his chest resting right under his ribs. His fins are very flowy and are such a beautiful shade of pink, the fins at the end of his tale is a beautiful cherry pink fading into a deep raspberry pink. The whites of his eyes are a shade of apricot pink while his pupils are a nice orangy pink colour, his irises in the shape of hearts. His tounge is a raspberry pink and his teeth are really dull. He is like mammon with the fact that he loves to wear beautiful jewelry he finds on shipwrecks, they make his beauty stand out. Asmo calls you precious

Beel has some vibrant orange scales with his tail being a mix of sunset orange and mandarin orange. His nails are quite sharp but are quite short, beautiful mandarin scales covering his hands and end at his shoulders. His gills are a nice orange that are right above his collar bone, his other gills resting right under his pectorals, on his ribs. His fins are abit rough but are a nice sunset orange colour, his fins at the end of his tail a mix of mandarin and sunset orange. The whites of his eyes are a deep orange colour and his pupils are a beautiful purple, his irises in the shape of little suns. His tounge is a deep orange colour while his teeth are lion like, his teeth are MADE for eating meat. He got a piece of rope he found off of a shipwreck and made a necklace for himself, having made a tail bangle for belphie so they match. Beel calls you his guppy

Belphie has some beautiful purple scales with his tail being a mix of Lavander purple and deep purple. His nails are second to asmos in being dull but can still cause alot of damage, soft purple scales littering his hands which end at his shoulders. His lavender gills are also placed right above his collar bone, his gills placed right under his pectorals aswell, matching beel. His fins are nice and flowy, the fins at the end of his tail a lovely mix of lavender and deep purple. The whites of his eyes are a deep purple which match well with his purple pupils, his irises shaped like little moons. His tounge is a mix of deep purple with the tip being lavander, his teeth being quite sharp but quite unnoticeable at first glance. He loves the little thing beel made for his tail, he never takes it off. Belphie calls you squishy

. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

woo, its mermay! Im sorry if their designs aren't described well or fit your own head cannon but i will try and make some visual designs for them! I will probably come back and edit this so it can make more scene

The top part is so ass but im planning on doing actuall head cannons for mermay, so please dont loose hope on me just yet

What should I do next?

[mosaickiwi]

Fall Unto Me (part four)

Part one, part two, part three

The end of Angel!Angel and Demon!Ren yayyyy I'm sooo excited to have the rest of my brain back!!! IT'S FINALLY OVER (mostly).

A very long and nonsensical string of writing thoughts and notes on it will be posted much later. Also if anyone wants to ask questions I can answer them in the infodump or on discord if you want a more immediate response... I hope you enjoy da finale 👉👈 sorry this is my baby i really love talking about it but it was impossible til now fjdslkjflks

cw// religious themes

14 Days With You is an 18+ Yandere Visual Novel. MINORS DNI

That mundane, quiet night had taken a turn for the better. You could barely move a muscle after trying to settle your curious desires for your devilish companion, though they still remained. The books and red string were put back where they belonged before you found yourself cradled in strong arms and curled under silken sheets.

Ren had brought you to rest in bed, arms keeping you securely nestled at their side. His bare chest felt incredibly warm against your cheek. The sound of their heart beat steadily, and you moved your head to hear it better. Mesmerizing, and comforting. 

“I'm… tired? Fatigued?” you muttered aloud. It was so hard to stay awake, your eyes kept fluttering. You’d never been quite so drained before.

He gently held your chin to look at you, smiling all the while. “Why do you think? You’re an absolutely ravenous angel. Were it not for that fatigue, you’d surely still have me pinned on the floor with your head thrown back in—”

“Hey!” you interrupted him. The casual way they said it had you suddenly embarrassed. Being aware of your newfound… ‘ravenous’ side was something else entirely.

“It was a wonderful sight, my love, little angel,” he sang your praises with adoration, ending at a word. That word. The one you didn’t know.

An odd little pet name you were all the more curious about.

“What's that word you keep saying?” you asked and his eyes suddenly widened. “I love all the endearing things you call me, but that one—I can't place it.”

“...Oh, love,” he whispered, muffled as they leaned down to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “I’m so sorry. I won't use it anymore.”

“Huh? Is it something bad?” You weren't sure what he meant by that, but you knew well and good they'd never say something cruel to you, let alone call you by a cruel word. Nonsensical as the question was, no other reason came to mind.

“Not at all. It's my favorite word,” his voice was soft, almost heartbroken. “I didn't think you'd forget it so soon… I'll tell you when you're ready, I promise. For now, you only need to rest.”

A simple nod in response on your part. You accepted the answer so easily. There was nothing to worry about anymore. With how exhausted you were from the act, sleep was a natural decision. You could talk in the morning. Or any morning after, you no longer minded. Eventually you'd leave, so what was another few days or weeks?

You settled in and closed your eyes, lulled to sleep by their heartbeat in your ear.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤

Cold. You woke up cold. Jolted awake from your own nightmare of falling, drowning in the endless clouds that you once walked upon with ease, only to land in the depths of the freezing ocean below you. With a hushed gasp, you sat up in bed.

The devil was asleep right beside you. Pink hair stained with eerie grays from the moon’s glow through the open window, horns so dark they almost blended into the shadows, ghastly inked patterns that crawled from their shoulders down to their hands. 

One of his was laced tightly with yours. 

You trembled as you slowly pried his fingers away, crawled backwards on the bed until you felt nothing under you and almost fell like that cursed dream.

But the same hands you struggled to get away from caught you. You found instant comfort in his touch, despite the disgust that climbed up your back when you woke—where did it come from? Why were you even trying to get away? 

“I've got you, it's alright,” Ren murmured softly. He guided you to stand, wrapping a wrinkled shirt over your naked shoulders along with his arms. You held on as tight as you could. Your fingers were shaking. 

“I need to—I need to go, Ren. Now,” you gasped into his chest. Your entire body was unsteady, vision blurred from tears you weren't capable of shedding. Whatever you were saying didn't make sense in your head. You needed to go… somewhere. You could picture the place—it had sunkissed clouds as far as the eye could see—but did it have a name?

He read your mind, gently offered the word you couldn't think of, “Heaven?”

There. Home. You nodded. 

“You'll only get hurt.”

“I already know I'll have to repent before my god,” you muttered sheepishly and pulled away, clutching the shirt like a cloak. His knowledge was vast as ever, but what did a demon know of heaven’s affairs? 

“No, little angel. If you even make it that far,” they cursed the realms under their breath and followed as you left the room in a sudden hurry. “They'll take whatever is left of your halo and wings.”

You didn't waste any time throwing open the cabin’s door and walking out into the cool night air. Forced to pause at the sight in front of you, you stared; the breathtaking field of flowers was fully blooming. They were finally as high as Ren promised, the tallest with their golden petals proudly on display in the hallowed shape of a halo.

The beauty only helped his words to sink in. Whatever is left of your halo and wings? You turned around, fully expecting him to be right behind you.

You were face to face as you questioned him, a bite of anger held in. “What do you mean?”

Blue eyes that only seemed paler in the night, once full of hatred for heaven, pooled with long lost grief. “You've fallen from their grace,” he said quietly.

“That doesn't happen.” You denied it quickly. Such a thing had never happened in all the histories of heaven, you at least knew that without ever reading those records. If what he said was true, it’d be common knowledge. A warning that all angels would heed.

“It does, because I—”

A bell rang in the darkened night sky above. Ren froze with unknown fear for a split second and hurriedly reached towards you, shouting something. Another bell obscured their voice, then another and another until the number grew to so many your thoughts drowned in their thunder. Someone was calling you home.

Before you even realized it your wings sprouted forth and threw the unbuttoned shirt he'd given you to the wind, bringing a burning anguish so suddenly intense to bloom in the middle of your back that you fell to your knees. Ren immediately kneeled in front of you. The pain and desperation in his voice pulled at your very core, except you couldn't understand a thing. The bells were so loud. You cried out sharply. It may as well have been silence from what little else you could hear. 

A cracking noise managed to cut through the clamor of the bells above. Translucent shards of stained glass dropped from your head and piled themselves in the dirt at your knees. There was so little of it but you recognized the golden shade, illuminated by the fire licking at your shoulders.

The halo that you'd gained once the library's doors had beckoned you. The few pieces that remained of it, anyway.

Your heart stopped, then started anew. A feeling worse than the holy fire that was turning your beloved wings from feathered grace to ash. He was right; you'd fallen long before this night.

A thousand bells began to still, one by one. You could start to hear Ren again, though only a few words were clear.

“...At night… Forgive… Happen… …Never wanted this for you.”

The last feather fell away into nothing, and the burning in your back, along with the bells, died with it. All the heat you could feel was the demon only inches away, his desolate gaze fixed to you.

You blinked, tear stained cheeks now icy from the salted wind blowing across the ocean. Bits and pieces came back as memories.

The simple, towering clouds that decorated the heavens far as the eye could see. A sun that shined brightly, an everlasting sunrise that greeted you no matter the day. The library that once seemed like paradise you were destined to guard for the rest of time. All echoes of the being that was no longer you.

Something was missing. 

“My… that word,” you whispered. He'd told you it was his favorite word. One that you’d forgotten. “... It was mine?”

He smiled as best he could. It didn't reach his eyes. “You remember it.”

“A little.”

“Then... let me say it for you?” he asked and you nodded. They leaned close, the word slowly leaving their lips with reverence, sadness, unwavering love.

Nothing about it sparked as familiar on the surface. But the word once belonged to you, that empty part inside understood it. Fresh tears welled in the corners of your vision. “When did they take it from me?”

Ren gently wiped your cheek as the tears overflowed again. “I don't know.”

“How—it was mine,” you repeated with a sob. You felt the cold seeping through you and huddled into his embrace. Their body felt more warm and inviting than anything around you. There was nothing—no one else you could ever reach out to anymore.

“I’m sorry. We only have eternity together, my love,” he breathed, tucking your head below his chin with a strangled noise. “I'll say it each and every day so you'll never forget it. I don't want to lose your name, either.”

[katuschka]

Scene One – Lampshade

Jake Kiszka x f!Reader (1st person narrative)

2.541 words

On my bedside table, I have a beautiful art deco lamp. When my lover leaves, he ties a scarf he wore for days on top. And when he’s gone I let my window open just a bit, the gentle breeze sets the scarf on motion, just like the waves in the tempestuous ocean.  Once or twice, I swear, I could smell him in my dreams.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings: longing, alcohol consumption, penetrative sex, phone sex and masturbation, sex toys, phantasmagorical dream visions

Taglist

It’s been almost three weeks since I last saw him. I’m trying to convince myself that it’s not that bad, but the truth is that I always start missing him the moment he leaves. It’s a bittersweet feeling. I’m a grown, independent woman, engaging in my daily routines...or breaking them, just to stay sane. 

But, it feels as if a part of my soul got attached to him. It travels with him wherever he goes and I feel it tugging at my insides every now and then. At first I thought it was just a side effect of the early stages of falling in love. I believed that it would get easier with time, but it never did. If anything, it only got worse. 

It’s bearable during the day. My mind’s too preoccupied with my job, thank god. It’s not really much different from when he’s here. I still have my work to do and he’s busy too, until we finally meet at home to share a glass of wine or two. And then we fuck.

That’s why early evenings are the worst when he’s away. The house is just too big, too quiet, and my mind too restless. No sound of the strings being plucked greets me when I get home, no smell of savory dishes waiting for me in the oven or on the stove. I’m too lazy to do it myself, so I just order in, only to be reproached by him later that I’m not taking proper care of myself. My lover does all these things. My body’s spoiled with constant hugs and my cheeks peppered with warm kisses. So, on days like these, this is what his lady misses. 

He knows that, so he tries to call anytime he can. It’s easier in between shows. He makes sure to call me around eight, even when it’s already 3 am where he’s at. Him being a night owl, this has never been a problem. Sometimes it’s just a quick hello to make sure I’m ok. Other times we talk for hours. 

I didn’t expect anything like that today. He might call late or not at all. Probably not at all because today’s show was too important. He wanted me there, but I couldn’t go this time. I had an important project to finish and came home pleasantly exhausted. In a perfect world, we would celebrate our respective achievements together, but this world is not perfect, so I have to content myself with the fact that he is. 

Well, not really, but I wouldn’t change a thing about him. 

So, I just poured myself a glass of wine, climbed in bed early and tried to read, only to find myself checking the Instagram updates constantly. I don’t do it very often, because I’m not really keen on seeing hundreds of women swooning over him, but someone might be streaming the show, and I just couldn’t miss it. 

Before he left, he fastened his scarf on my lampshade. That little piece of fabric is basically marinated in his scent – his strong, yet religiously comforting cologne mixed with the warm smell of him. I made sure to leave both the bedroom door and the window open, to create a slight draft. After three weeks, the scent had already faded a bit, but I still could get whiffs of him while falling asleep. Just like today. The livestream I found ended mid-show, but I wasn’t really paying attention anymore. I could feel my eyelids getting heavy long before the concert ended and without even bothering to turn off the light, I fell asleep with my phone still in my hand. 

Except I couldn’t sleep. The thunderstorm in the distance and the billowing wind kept me awake. The sky was clear when I went to bed, so I couldn’t understand where the clouds came from. It didn’t matter anyway. 

He was here. In my bed, sleeping. The intoxicating scent of clove and incense mixed with his musk wrapped around me like a second comfort blanket. The bedside lamp illuminated his disheveled hair and the clothes he had carelessly thrown over the armchair next to the bed. He was naked and all of the sudden, so was I.

It was our bedroom…and it wasn’t. The southern wall was gone, exposing us to the elements outside. Our garden turned to a stony shore, with the waves of a rough sea crashing upon it. Somewhere in the distance, I could see the storm raging.

I was feeling snug under the blanket, the warmth he elicited sheltering me from everything else around. I reached out to touch him. His skin was warm and dry and I snuggled closer to him from behind, inhaling the comforting aroma of his relaxed, sleeping body. 

He never slept much. Sometimes I wondered how he could function after yet another sleepless night, and the dark circles under his eyes often worried me. But when he did fall asleep, he looked like a baby boy, his full lips slightly parted and his brows turned upwards. A man of paradoxes. He would fuck my brains out just moments after he spoon-fed me pistachio ice-cream. My doe-eyed barbarian. A romantic adventure, but a reptile too. Always offering something new. Just like the sky outside, with the full moon now illuminating the stormy sky. Where did it come from? It was hanging there in mid-air in front of the clouds, so big, so close it seemed that I could reach it with my fingers if I just stepped outside of the room. 

But I didn’t want to. Instead, I slowly swirled around him like a serpent. I could feel him stir, his body responding to mine. It was a silent dialogue. He turned to me and pushed my chin upwards to nuzzle the soft skin behind my left earlobe. I could hear him murmur a prayer, the words of which I didn’t recognize, but I understood it anyway. I could feel his hand travel slowly down my belly, pulling my thighs apart, his palm sliding gently to my pussy and his middle finger slipping in between my folds. It’s been too long… My body reacted immediately. I arched my back and gasped for air as his moistened fingertip glided over my clit in slow circles. He kissed my shoulder and I could feel his parted lips stretch in a smile before he nibbled lightly on my skin covered with goosebumps.

He spread my thighs even more, like the petals of a blooming flower. I felt the weight of his body on mine as he shifted, obscuring my view, silencing the wind, his porcelain face dimming all the celestial lights behind him. He was coming home. 

I cried out when he entered me, grabbing pillows on both sides of my head. He, too, yelped like a puppy, laying his head on my bosom just for a while, to gain his composure. I felt every exhale of his quickened breath on my skin, and enveloped his body with my limbs in a false promise to never let go. 

He started moving inside me and I felt absolutely lightheaded, as if we were floating in an empty void. It got darker with each deep, long thrust until time and space around us disappeared and the only thing that tethered me to reality was the rhythm of his beating heart and the alluring sounds of his raspy moans. We moved together languidly, drunk in love, and the waves of pleasure running through my body intensified with each passing second. My fingernails dug into his skin…so deep until he suddenly stiffened and screamed in pain right next to left ear…

…nooo…at first I couldn’t tell where I was or who I was until the sound of my phone ringing on the pillow next to my head slowly brought me back to reality. I couldn’t believe it. What? Why? I looked at the screen and saw the name of the only person whom I could forgive for calling me right fucking now!

“Jake? Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I breathed out. 

A moment of silence before the man on the other side responded. I must have sounded pre-t-t-y irritated. “Babe? Did I wake you up?” 

Of course you did. What day is it? Oh yeah, it was slowly coming back to me. Madison Square Garden… “What time is it?” I breathed out.

“Almost one am here, your midnight. We just arrived at the hotel a moment ago, I haven’t even had a shower yet, I just had to hear…”

“Urgh,” I interrupted him with a groan, not in a reaction to what he said. My still not fully awakened body was just fighting with my mind as I tried to sit. I was still slightly disoriented and my coochie weeped. “I, uhm, I’m sorry baby. I just had a very intense erotic dream…the first one in years. And you just happened to interrupt it at the worst possible moment.”

“Oh, daamn!” he chuckled. “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Not funny Jake. No one else but you could ever make me this wet. The sheets below me are literally soaked through.” I heard him inhale sharply on the other side. It took him a few more seconds to respond. “You’re wet?” It sounded a bit like a stifled groan, followed by him clearing his throat. Poor Jake, he was so taken aback by my response that Oliver had to take over. “Thaths probably because I was absolu-te-ly on fire tonight, my love! Telepathy must be one of my many superior powers. Now I need to clean the mess…”

“What do you mean?”

“Phone sex, obviously.” 

I laughed. Nah, I’m not a fan. I love his voice, don’t get me wrong, but it couldn’t possibly make up for all the stuff that my subconsciousness flooded my brain with just a moment ago. Also, I’ve always found the idea of phone sex strangely disconcerting. We could do the most obscene stuff face to face without even batting an eye, but to be describing to him how I’m touching myself? No, thank you. I’d be embarrassed. Don’t know why. That’s just how it is, And that’s what I told him.  

“Oh come on, let’s try it.” Jake was back. “Besides, it’s a mutual obligation now. I’m already hard.” 

I rolled my eyes and took a deep breath. “Ok Jake,” I crooned monotonously, “what are you wearing?” 

“Oh GOD!” he moaned theatrically. “You sound so sexy when you’re bored. Mmmmm.”

I laughed again, in earnest. “Sorry,” I chuckled. “Ok, let’s try it. But I’m not going to describe what I’m doing. You tell me what to do.”

“Deal.”

I heard his sheets rustle as he shifted on his bed, which meant he already had me on speaker, so I did the same. I adjusted the pillows, stripped off my babydoll and tried to find a comfortable position. “Ok Jake, I’m ready.”

“Good girl. Now, close your eyes and cup your breasts. Let your thumbs draw slow circles around your nipples. No pressure.” His voice suddenly sounded huskier than before. 

“Are you jerking off?” And then I heard it. The unmistakable sound of his fist sliding rhythmically up and down his cock. Of course he was. 

“You can’t blame me sweetheart,” he breathed out. “I got here, still full of adrenaline from the show, only to hear you tell me that I was fucking you in your dreams. I couldn’t wait any longer.” 

The sound of his heavy breath made my pelvic muscles contract and my heartbeat quicken. I licked my fingertips and let my hand slide between my legs, trying to ease the ache. “Talk to me Jake. Forget the nipples. Guide my fingers.”

“Who’s impatient now?” He let out an involuntary moan, swallowed harshly and continued: “Squeeze your clit between two fingers, scissor-like. Now rub from side to side and gently pull.”

I knew what he meant. His technique was completely different from mine and effective in its own way. I never tried to recreate it before. I did now, and it all suddenly came back to me. The dream, his touch, his dick, stretching me, fucking me, our loins dancing together to the rhythm of our heartbeats…

“Not enough,” I whined. “I need more, Jake.”

“Ok, time for Mini Me.”

That was yet another thing my lover did for me. We found a company that makes custom dildos using castings of real customers. Now, a cold piece of silicone can never compete with the real jake, but it was the next best thing whenever I needed to release the tension after a long day. I loved the shape of it. It was mine. I opened the drawer and reached for the toy. “Now what?”

“Ride me,” he groaned. 

“How am I supp…”

“Let’s pretend we fell off the bed.”

“What?”

“Off the bed! Now!” he commanded. I climbed off the bed and attached the dildo to the wooden floor. “Mini Me’s ready. What now?”

“Now sit.”

I did as I was told. I got on my knees, placed the tip between my folds and slowly slid all the way down. Our roles reversed for a brief moment as I was now guiding him through. I heard him spit into his palm and groan with relief. It was his time to take the reins again. “Move,” he rasped. “Grab your hips and pretend it’s me. Set the pace, but tell me.”

I started moving my hips in a slow, sensual rhythm, while whispering up and down and up and down to him. I was now close to my bedside table, the fragrant scarf only a few feet from me. I closed my eyes. The illusion was almost perfect. 

“That’s my girl,” he moaned. “Do you want to go faster?”

“No, this is fine.”

“Ok, continue baby. Let me hear you.”

We continued like that for several minutes, eyes closed, listening to each other. I could hear that he was close as his low moans turned to high-pitched whimpers. My thighs started shaking and I had to catch hold of the bedside table to ease the tension in my legs. I opened my eyes and that’s when I saw it. The multi coloured lampshade. As I was moving, so were the colorful lights before my eyes. It was like being there, under the stage lights, as I was listening to my man. The most beautiful song. It overwhelmed my senses and I came, screaming. From the haze of my own high, I heard him finish shortly afterwards. 

I wanted to hear every detail of his show, and he wanted to know about my project, but we were both already too exhausted, so he promised to call me again in the morning. I knew he would, because that’s what my lover does. 

@its-interesting-van-kleep @takenbythemadness @edgingthedarkness @writingcold @ignite-my-fire @klarxtr @jakekiszkasbuttsweat @fleet-of-fiction @lvnterninthenight @myownparadise96 @GVFstuddedmajesty @josh-iamyour-mama @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @thewritingbeforesunrise

[aliidarling]

danny johnson with friendly!survivor

DANNY JOHNSON x fem!reader

— headcanons

nsfw / sfw content below!

imagine danny seeing you for the first time, dressed in a cute black dress with black uggs, your hair with a bow in the back. his first thought is how the hell can you run in those furry boots? they must get mud all over them.

he’s at first drawn by you, your beauty, innocence, and how you’re so god friendly. it’s nerve wracking, how each time he pairs up with you, you don’t hesitate to greet him with a hug. he feels a little possessive, wondering if you do this with other killers. he asks around and they all tell him you’re scared of them, how you run off immediately and how you stick to gens.

he feels prideful at that. you were comfortable around him, safe even. if he wasn’t such a deranged lunatic maybe he’d ask you out like a normal gentlemen, but whenever he sees you he’s caught inbetween two worlds.

imagine danny seeing the other survivors take advantage of your purity, asking you to sacrifice yourself and unhook others, always blaming their generator blasts on you. one time he even witnessed them slamming a pallet in your face, and at that moment he swore he would all gut them and send them up into the entity.

his pretty princess didn’t deserve this treatment. you deserved to get pampered and massaged, get your cute little face rubbed and kissed, not whatever the hell this is.

safe to say, none of the other survivors made it out that round. you, on the other hand, escaped unscathed through the hatch with a kiss on the forehead.

imagine danny witnessing you coming into the match with a tiny pajama set, matching with all your fellow survivors. you have a black oversized tee shirt on that hugs your chest and accentuates your curves(he swears he’s not a creep, he just notices things easily..). your shorts weren’t any better, shaking off that soft skin of yours that glowed. he would rather die then to see that pretty skin all bruised and bloody.

he can quite literally melt into a puddle as he notices what’s on your shirt. it’s a graphic design of him slashing, with his name written in a flashy red font. the entity must of noticed his obsession with you, because no way this was a coincidence. he had never been more happy. he was definitely gonna make sure to give the entity some more sacrifices as a little thanks.

imagine danny slowly becoming more and more obsessed with you, a small crushing turning into a massive obsession over the span of a few months. he can’t breathe with you, can’t think, can’t sleep, can’t do anything. he starts to sneak into the survivors camp just to take photos of you, snapping you in every angle he can get. he thinks you’re the prettiest girl in the world.

whenever he sees someone interact with you while he’s doing his usual stalking he finds himself becoming so angry. why were you entertaining them? you were his good girl, not that dick steve’s or sweet boy dwight’s. his.

half of his bedroom is a mess, cluttered with random little miscellaneous he found throughout the forest of his realm. his house is small and rusty, a little cabin in the woods he stays in outside of trials, where he spends all his time thinking about you. just you. under his bed is a blood red box he hides, full of polaroids of you, some pieces of clothing he managed to snatch off your figure, even some of your missing objects you hadn’t seen in months.

did i mention he loves to break into your cabin?

imagine danny snooping through your small room while you’re out in a trial, shoving his nose into your business and sniffing everything. he goes through your closet, dressers, under your bed, even tries prying open the floor boards. he wants to analyze every part of you and understand how you work, how you function, how that tiny brain of yours thinks.

he can’t help but laugh when he finds your collection of bows and your girly objects. he doesn’t know how you’ve managed to have make up and hygiene products in this realm, but your dresser has them. no wonder he’s so obsessed with sniffing you, you have that sweet aroma of sweet goods and vanilla sweets that’s coming from your perfumes.

nsfw content below!!

imagine danny whisking you away whenever you both are matched up, taking you into one of the rooms in the myers house. he’s quick to push you down onto the rugged mattress and pull your tiny dress up, grinding his hips against your round butt. he cherishes your sweet little moans, how your eyes roll back.

he loves to tug at you, taking his mask off at times to bite and kiss you. you were the only person he’d let see him without it, especially in such a vulnerable moment. he would take advantage of his access to your butt and give it bites, leaving literal red marks on your butt. your loud squeal and annoyed glare is what amuses him and makes him keep doing it.

imagine danny holding you by your waist, his large hands that were undoubtedly covered in your friends blood grippijg you tightly as he rubbed his tip up and down your wet hole. he relishes in the fact he makes you so wet. he doesn’t have to do much, he can rub you and give you a little kiss and you’d be begging for his cock like a needy whore. he’s loves that about you, you’re easy. only when it comes to him, though.

imagine danny humming in relief as he finally slides himself deep inside you, bottoming out in one thrust. his hips snap against you as he focuses on how tight you are around him, how warm you are around his cock. he could not give a fuck about any of the survivors running around like mice, doing generators and opening chests, not knowing one of their fellow survivors were being slutted out and fucked nice n deep like the good girl you are. “shhhh,” he whispers gently, petting your face. your sweet cries make him harder.

imagine danny having you bent over one of the vaults, your head sticking out on the other side as you moan like a dumb girl, tongue sticking out. his hand is in your hair, tugging at it gently as he rolls his cock into you. he knows you’re in a position where anyone could walk across the two of you, but that only makes him more needy for you, more eager to fuck you hard.

he teases you a lot, making fun of you and giving you small jabs each time his fat tip hits your cervix. he listens to each noise you make, wanting to inhale your words. he was obsessed with every part of you, from your head to toes, your insides to outsides.

imagine danny having his days where he’s so pissed off. all four survivors escaped, and he can’t even count the amount of times he got a pallet slammed in his face. he’s quick to sneak into your cabin and push you down onto your bed, not caring about your confused pleas and dumb words about getting caught. he ignores everything you say, pulling your pants off and pulling you forcefully into a face down ass up position.

ramming his cock in your unprepared hole was one of the best feelings in the world, other then gutting his victims. your cries into your pillow are silenced as he keeps a hand on the back of your head, massaging your scalp subtly. his other hand holds you down as he batters your pussy, groaning and letting dirty phrases slip out of his mouth. a part of him feels bad for being so mean to you, you’re just a sweet girl, so pretty and innocent— you don’t deserve this, no, you deserve to be fucked gently and kissed, but that doesn’t matter right now. right now he needs a tight hole to fuck his anger into.

[frogs00]

hey!:) may i request a fic where janis is like sick with the cold or flu and doesn’t let regina know about it but she finds out anyway and just takes care of her, which janis secretly wants in the first place but didn’t want to say it

Feel better, baby.

Summary: Janis catches a cold and tells no one about it, but her blonde girlfriend comes to the rescue. Pairing: Regina X Janis Warning: Swearing and sickness, but all fluff. 

Janis woke up, feeling crappy, to say the least; Her entire body ached, and her throat was sore. She checked the time and smiled at a message from Regina, then frowned suddenly, and put her phone back down. Why bother her? She groaned and turned back over, burying her face in her pillow. She didn’t bother telling anyone she wasn’t attending school today, passing back out after much tossing and turning. She woke up a few hours later (with a pounding headache, she might add) to the sound of her phone buzzing on her nightstand. It was a text from Regina, asking if she was okay. The concern warmed her heart, and she desperately wanted her girlfriend here with her. Janis stared at her phone, typed a response, then decided not to send it. If I told her, she’d come over, and I don’t want to get her sick. She told herself. She was too lazy to do anything about her suffering, well, that and the fact she felt like ‘death-in-a-can’. Just laying there, scrolling through Instagram.

She heard a knock, then the doorbell ring, then a series of ‘Janis get your tiny ass out here!’ or ‘Janis Imi’ike!’, It was Regina. She groaned and rolled out of her twin-sized bed, walked through her house, and opened the door.

“Aren’t you supposed to be at school?” Janis grumbled, and let Regina in, rolled her eyes, and flopped down on the couch. Letting out a series of coughs afterwards.

“You’ve been ignoring everyone all day, I was worried,” Regina snapped, then her voice softened as she observed the fetal position Janis put herself in on the cushion of the couch, “You’re sick.” She said, not a question, a statement. She knew her almost as well as Damian did.

“A little.” Janis grumbled, shivering from the cold. (It wasn’t cold out, but she had been wrapped up in a comforter all day, so it was cold to her.)

Regina walked over to her, and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, “You have a fever, have you taken anything?” Janis shook her head, “Of course, always taking care of everyone else, but never yourself.”

She walked towards the kitchen, “Have you eaten at least?” Regina demanded, Janis shook her head ‘no’ again, which made Regina groan in annoyance. Then she sprung into action. She grabbed a water bottle from the fridge, and some ibuprofen and gave it to her, which Janis took thankfully.

“You don’t have to take care of me.” Janis mumbled as if she had wounded her pride, al though secretly she was beyond grateful to have her here.

Regina scoffed, “Shut up, I love you, of course, I’m going to,” She studied the girl for a moment and her voice softened, “I would’ve brought soup if you just told someone you were sick,” her eye was alight with concern.

Janis sat upright and took the medicine. She stared at her feet for a moment, “I didn’t want to bother you, and I feel like crap and don’t want you to get sick.” She whispered, not meeting the blondes gaze.

“Janis, look at me,” She ordered, and Janis did so, and Regina placed a kiss on her forehead as she sat down beside her, “You can never bother me, okay? And I’m Regina George, and Regina George doesn’t…” She waved for Janis to finish her sentence.

“Get sick, I know.” She mocked her as she finished the sentence for her, and stuck out her tongue. She knew full well that wasn’t entirely true since she had been, under Janis’s care nonetheless, and then layed back down, this time placing her head on her lap, mumbling a ‘sorry’.

“For what?” Regina asked, Janis shrugged, and Regina snorted running her hand through her hair.

They stayed there for a second, before Regina spoke up again, “I’ll order some food, what do you want?” Janis shrugged again. “Pizza?” Regina suggests, and Janis nods, “Alright.” She smiled, and order them a Pizza.

They sat in silence for awhile, Janis’s headache fading away. Regina got up to fetch the pizza once it got here, and made the brunette a cup of tea. (Ignoring the fact the two were an odd pair, but it was good for the sick girl nonetheless.)

Regina put away the leftovers of their shared meal and sat back down on the couch with the smaller girl. Janis curled up at her side, and pulled a blanket over her and Regina, “Thanks for taking care of me.” she muttered, Regina wrapped her arm around her and pulled her closer.

“Sure, baby, anytime,” she whispered, and let the Brunette take yet another nap, this time much more comfortably.

I hope you guys enjoy it! I did my best on the request!

[that-sea-sponge]

My 7 personal, non-negotiable, DC headcanons

I've got a few that I've noticed I incorporate into just about everything I've written, textually or not. Feel free to agree or disagree- these ideas live rent free in my head, they don't need to live in yours.

1a) Bruce Wayne has absolutely done a lot of designer drugs at parties. It's part of his 'identity' and he's never been as straight-edged about obeying the law as people might assume. His main job is hiding in shadows and beating people up, after all. He's responsible and gets driven home and doesn't patrol on nights when he's coked out.

1b) Dick and Jay have absolutely tried these same drugs at these same parties. Dick realized that he likes them too much and should stay away from them. Jay grew up with the consequences of addiction, so he chooses not to indulge. He may even threaten the party dealer if there are kids around.

1c) Jay gets shit for smoking, but it's Dick who'll steal the cigarette out of your mouth, take a few puffs, and hand it back.

2) On the Bruce subject, I always write him as watching people and talking to people via reflection - windows, computer monitors, etc. Haven't figured out why I like it so much or the true symbolism, but I almost always do it.

3) Barbara Gordon has freckles. Like, a lot of freckles. An obscene amount of freckles. Dick has counted just about every one of them and has favorite spots.

4) When Steph is 'home', she and Tim sleep together- Share a bed, zzzz sleep together. It's a comfort / human connection thing and Tim gets the best sleep of his life.

5a) Damian is a skilled artist, no doubt. Alfred is his favorite 'model'. There are sketch pads full of Alfred doing stuff around the house in a very dignified way and a few comic strips of Alfred the Avenger saving the world in a domino mask with a cat sidekick.

5b) Alfred absolutely has signed copies of some of the strips. He'll slip pamphlets to art colleges in Damian's laundry.

6) As far as Alfred is concerned, his favorite Robin has always been Jay and he's not particularly discreet about this. He adores all of the children, but Jay is his Robin because he's so much like Bruce at that age. Bruce's favorite Robin was Dick. Damian's favorite Robin is Tim. Jay's favorite Robin changes on the day and sometimes its even himself.

7) The 'real' ending for Bruce is the Batman Beyond timeline where he has literally alientated everyone who ever cared about him and he dies alone. He's a hero, but he's not a good person. He never learned how. Eventually, everyone comes to the realization that no one can save him from himself and his demons.

[arafilez]

੭୧ ⼂ LIES YOU BUILT ﹗

ー☆ㅤㅤ [ kwh x reader ] ㅤ੭𓂃 ㅤangst, no comfort, bsf to strangers ㅤ warnings crying, woonhak is a little toxic ㅤ﹢ㅤ1k wc

Kim Woonhak,

It’s stupid how you still have a mark in my life, the smallest importance with the biggest meaning. Your footprints over my soul never washed away, instead, they stay, stubborn and scratched, like rock carvings. To put it simply I hate you. That is pretty straightforward, isn’t it? I am like that, I have always been like that. Oh, wait you know that already. You used to find me simple, you loved that. Said we completed each other. Now, I cry in my bed thinking about all the lies you fed me about being best friends forever.

Oh, the lies you mastered so well!

I regret every one of those days I had called you up just so I could update you on my life. Every single secret, every laugh, and every tear I had told you of and every bit of our shared stories. I used to be interesting to you, so when did I become so boring that you had to find newer, more popular and cooler friends? What happened to our late-night chats, the ones till three where we both had to hide from our parents with excuses? Where are the stories now? Did you forget them as easily as you threw away our friendship? Did you tell your new friends my stories just so you could get a good laugh out of them? A good laugh out of the class’s lame bitch’s stories- yeah I believe you can do that. If anyone told me a year ago that Kim Woonhak is doing this I would have laughed at their faces. Now, I am the one who scoffs and tells those to the few classmates who feel sympathy for me.

Pathetic! I am pathetic!

There is still no note, no explanation, not a single sentence you said about this while I hold on to the thread loosely binding the last pieces of our friendship. Every time I asked you what was wrong you had one word, “Nothing.” Where was I wrong? I think I was wrong to put my trust in you. Tell me why you left our friendship as if it was not even worth the dirt under your shoe? Tell me why am I still hung up on our last conversation even if it was just you taking advantage of me and wanting my notes? Tell me, did I become lame after you found friends who are more popular than me? Tell me, was I lame the way I behaved? Or was it the way I became loud when I got excited or the way I laughed? Did that make you leave and go to your new friends who have the “cool” aura? How could you take everything I love and crush it so easily? Are your fingers that strong Woonhak?

What happened to our years of friendship Woonhak? Why does this hurt more than any break-up ever did? Why does every time now a simple, sub-important friendship breaks or an argument happens with my friends do I hurriedly apologise multiple times even if I was not in the wrong? Why does it always me feel maybe I am the rotten apple among my friends? Why does your face drop in my mind every time I think I am not enough? Why I am still hung up on you when I have so many newer friends who actually appreciate me? Why do I still picture myself in the mirror arguing with you and putting you in your place with my words and my confidence? Confidence I have only when I am alone? Why do I fantasize about a time you even feel a little fucking sorry for doing all this?

I have so many questions for you, questions I never got to ask and questions that formed later. What did I do for you to break this friendship? Where was I wrong? Why did you start ignoring me that Tuesday when we talked on Monday? Why did you make sure your whole new friend circle hate me? Why did you make fun of me with them? How could you do that? Did our friendship mean nothing to you? Was it that worthless? Was I wasting that much of your time?

Do you think I am being dramatic? Then explain this!

I have so many friends, but every time a minor crack appears, my insecurities build up. Insecurities that weren’t there till you crafted them. Insecurities that weren’t there till you made fun of me in front of me only. Insecurities that weren’t there before you decided to blatantly ignore me one day after our years of friendship. Insecurities that weren’t there until you decided the term best friend is not for me anymore. I would say we both drew blood, and we both got hurt, but were those cuts ever equal?

This is all very straightforward, isn’t it? That’s the second time I am asking you that. Because damn hell, it is. It is my rawest and truest emotions and I don’t want to twist my words to let you know this, which you never will. The worst part of the whole thing is that you will never read this, I will never send this and this will not get you a scratch but it is jabbing my heart multiple times. Twisting the knife you crafted especially for me and pushing it in repeatedly. Why would you do this all to me? Can we talk? Is there something there you never told me and let it build inside you? Or am I just simply horrible? I wish I could let it go, I have tried so many times but I can’t. I wish I could forgive you but what should I forgive you and your cocky, small-minded friends for? Nothing! It is terrible how you come into my mind whenever the smallest incident occurs and I think of telling you, and then it hits me again.

You are still everything to me while I am nothing to you!

From Y/n

ー☆ㅤㅤ [ ara's notes ] ㅤ੭𓂃 ㅤ is this self-indulgent? yes, a lot! i will be back with bonedo fluff tho TT ㅤ𓏧ㅤ library ㅤ bnd shelfㅤ navi

੭ 𝅄ㅤ ꒰ TAGLIST ꒱ ㅤ⏤ㅤ @haneagerr @slytherinshua ㅤ𓏧ㅤ fill this or comment or ask to be added.

ㅤㅤ(ㅤㅤ© arafilez on tumblrㅤㅤ)

[sil3ntfr34k]

Hi! If you’re still taking requests, can you please write some domestic headcanons for P2 Dude x Reader?

(domestic dude is rare but we continue on)

Postal 2 Dude Domestic Headcanons

Dude isn’t usually domestic. He had to be on guard all the time while married to the bitch, so even after they’ve been long divorced, he still forgets that

Getting comfortable with him is actually very hard. Not only do you have to deal with his constant sassy attitude and violent tendencies, you also have to hear him out on his weird ideas

It takes a couple months of hard work, but eventually he’ll learn he doesn’t have to be on guard all the time and relax

The way he loves is kinda like a cat. Only wants you to love and dote on him when HE wants it. If you so much as kiss his cheek when he’s not in a loving mood, he gives you the nastiest stink eye and stomps away (he’ll come back later for more)

Tries to cook for you sometimes but you have to eventually ban him from the kitchen because you’re tired of waking up to the smell of a small house fire

Gives you little trinkets. You have no idea where he gets them, but he will come home with 2 pocket fulls of tiny items such as forgotten kids toys and dirty jewelry. One time he found a real gold earring and it’s his most prized possession now, keeps it on his bed side

Doesn’t like to cuddle a lot :((, he gets hot too easy. Also applies to bedtime cuddles. Whine and bitch to him all you want, he’s not gonna cuddle up next to you at night simple because he will wake up in the middle of the night DRENCHED in sweat

Bites. Hard bites at that. You have to basically pistol whip him to get your arm out of his mouth before he bites a chunk out of it. It’s actually good that he doesn’t cuddle you at night, because if he did you’d be half eaten by the morning

Also a licker! Like some kind of dog. You can just be sitting there, peacefully catching up on your show, and he’ll suddenly spawn next to you and give you a big lick on your cheek.

The longer you stay with him, the more you understand why his ex wife was so bitchy to him. He’s so annoying at times that you have to basically scold him like some toddler. Of course he’s not listening though, already plotting his next move

Above all, he’s chaotic. Pumped full of mental illness, psychotic delusions, drugs, and sleeping pills, he’s practically ungovernable

(Kinda short sorry y’all 😔😔 I’ve been busy with art commission work and learning to drive, haven’t been been able to write as much)

[villruu]

Fake amnesia Tim/Masky x Jay? Mayhap?

the og prompt got out of hand (i'll probs post it as a separate fic later bc it truly got out of hand lmao) and I decided that Jay being hit by the fake amnesia was way funnier lol. Not exactly Jam, but this is pre-Jam, in this universe at least. This is set just before S3 starts, aka, Jay hasn't found Tim yet.

On AO3

Content warning: Jay has a lot of internalized ableism about his own situation and that reflects on how he thinks of Masky/Masked Tim, and it also reflects on how of an unreliable narrator he is. So yeah lmao

⸻

Jay blinked, dazed.

Something cool is fixed to his face, plastic warmed by skin contact, humid with his breath. It’s, suffice to say, an awful texture, and the only reason Jay doesn’t take it out instantly, is because he is more worried in trying to find where the hell he is.

He had gone to bed, like mostly normal, after updating twitter, telling people his next move would be to look for Tim and then… And that’s as much as he remembers.

He had gone to sleep like normal, and now, here he was, in the middle of the forest, alone in the dead of the night. Thankfully, he is dressed, he would probably be dying from exposure if he were still in his pajamas. With shaky limbs, Jay forces himself up, looking around.

A frantic search revealed that he didn’t have his phone, nor his camera or the keys of his motel room.

All he had was the mask, a half-wasted lighter, some bits of shoelace and a marker. Which was really not comforting, at all. Jay took the mask off, scowling at the black eyes and teeth, the plastic scribbled on carelessly, lines thick and messy.

This wasn’t… Tim’s mask, or at least the one Jay remembered. Nor was it the mask of that hooded figure. But, it seemed familiar, in some way. Maybe it had appeared in a Totheark video before? Jay passes a gloved finger by the teeth, watching the ink be smudged from the high humidity.

With a sigh, Jay looked around some more.

He had absolutely no idea where he was. Maybe Rosswood? He couldn’t be sure, all the trees looked the same to him, especially now in the darkness of the night. Jay thanked all his lucky stars that today was at least a half-moon and the skies were clear, providing him a small amount of light. If it were a new moon, he would be absolutely lost.

…Why was he in the woods, anyways?

Jay didn’t have a… a masked persona, like Tim did. Jay didn’t go out into the night to beat people up, he wasn’t that type of person.

Still… Why the hell was he here?

With a sigh, Jay picked a random direction and started walking, carefully stepping around the loose branches, because if he twisted an ankle now, nobody would be around to help him. After a while, Jay ended up putting the mask on again, the cold too harsh against his face. At least, with the mask, some amount of heat stayed trapped.

Without a phone or wristwatch, Jay had no idea how long he stumbled through the woods. Everything looked the exact same, tall trees that blurred together, with low hanging branches and so many dead leaves on the floor it made it tricky to take a step, the path slippery with water from the rain of previous days.

At some point Jay decided to stop, at least for a few minutes.

It was too cold, and Jay was exhausted to say the least, feet hurting from walking so much. Leaning against a tree, he took the time to look around. The sky was somewhat clearer, but it was still dark enough to know it was early morning. Maybe around four am, if Jay hadn’t lost his ability to guess the time yet.

A few steps to his right made him freeze, and he instantly turned, heart stopping for a second when he saw a white face in the darkness of the forest emerging to his right. 

He calmed, somewhat, when he noticed the black eyes of the face. It wasn’t that thing, thankfully. A faded jacket followed the mask, and Jay realized that perhaps he wasn’t that thankful, as he recognized who was in front of him. Tim, but in that masked state… deal… possession? He didn’t know.

He had been looking for Tim, yes, but he had wanted to find the… normal Tim, so to say. 

Not when he was running around, in a mask, in the middle of the night, doing who knows what in the forest.

Jay looked at Tim (was it truly Tim? Was Tim conscious? or was he being possessed or something?) carefully, very aware of their loud breathing, which seemed to almost echo across the forest, impossibly noisy in the silence surrounding them. Should he run? But to where, Jay had no idea where he was, and from past experience, Tim clearly knew his way around the forest, whether it was day or night.

Tim tilted his head at him, as if trying to decipher what he was seeing.

Jay, in a fit of panic, copied the movement. He was in no state to run, and Tim would easily catch him if he tried to escape. A brief scan of his surroundings told him he wouldn’t find any loose branch or rock to use as an improvised weapon. Tim tilted his head to the other side, Jay quickly copying.

Tim snorted, shoulders suddenly relaxing from his previous stance position, the masked man now looking more non-threateningly as he relaxed.

Jay took a step back when Tim advanced, wary, grateful that the other stopped instantly upon noticing his wariness.

Why was Tim not attacking him? He always attacked him, or tackled him, or, or, or something!

Jay watched, nervous, as Tim took a few step backs and waved him to follow him. He didn’t want to follow Tim anywhere, not like this, without a camera, without a phone, without anything to protect himself. That’s how people died in horror movies, and as much as his life may now look like a goddamn movie, Jay was not ready to go out like that. 

As he wondered if he should just make a break for it, a rustle of leaves to his left made him freeze.

Jay turned to look, heart sinking as he noticed who now emerged from the darkness. The Hooded Figure paused, looking between Jay, who stood with a wary stance ready to bolt, and Tim, who was leaning relaxed against a tree, seemingly trying to understand the situation before joining Tim’s side, looking at Jay with a tilted head.

Jay took half a step back, shoulders hunched as he lowered his head slightly, like a cat being intimidated and bristling in an attempt to appear bigger. God, this has gone from bad to worse.

The Hooded Figure tapped Tim’s wrist, and Tim merely shrugged.

The Hooded figure tapped Tim’s wrist again, Tim shaking his head before tapping his own mask and giving an overexaggerated shudder, while Jay watched with narrowed eyes behind his mask. 

Morse code, perhaps? 

No, it seemed too brief. Maybe a modified code? A lot of his followers theorized that the hooded person was the one behind Totheark, so it would make sense if they knew ciphers. All knowledge Jay had of them was all that he had been forced to learn to decipher the videos.

A step made Jay startle back, so lost in his thoughts he hadn’t noticed the others finish “talking”.

The hooded figure was already disappearing into the darkness of the forest, while Tim waited and waved him forward, a bit impatiently.

…God, Jay was going to get killed, wasn’t he?

With careful steps, Jay approached Tim, freezing when Tim gently nudged him in greeting, as if they knew each other, before grabbing his wrist as tugging him forward gently, in a way Jay had never thought the masked Tim could be possible of.

The masked person tilted his head upon noticing Jay freeze. 

Carefully, telegraphing his move, he tapped his own mask before tapping the edge of Jay’s mask, as if trying to make a connection. 

… Did… Did Tim know who the person who used the mask Jay was using?

Oh no.

Jay followed Tim robotically, as his thoughts spiraled.

Oh no, oh no.

Did Jay steal this mask? Where was the owner? It was clear that both Tim and the hooded figure recognized the mask, in some way. God, where the fuck had Jay gotten the mask? Had he gotten into a fight? It felt somewhat like it, now that he thought about it, his mind a bit too fuzzy, hands hurting in the way that told him he had punched something… or someone.

God, what the fuck was he supposed to do.

Jay could feel himself grimace as Tim continued to guide him forward, probably deeper into the forest.

Okay, just… Go with the flow, Jay, don’t act suspicious, he thought, pretend everything is alright. God, thankfully these people didn’t speak, otherwise they would clearly recognize that Jay was not whoever this mask belonged to.

With a sigh, Jay picked up the pace slightly, watching Tim look back at him seemingly perk up, like a dog seeing his owner in the distance. Jay tried not to react as Tim nudged him again, heads briefly touching, the plastic masks making a quiet clink before Tim tugged him forward again, seemingly more enthusiastic.

Well, Jay thought, he had wanted to find Tim anyways, right?

Another successful investigation, Jay thought ironically to himself, letting himself be guided deeper into the forest.