#stan twice for a better life

[sharkylad]

Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.

Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?

Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.

The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.

Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.

It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.

I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.

He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.

[dawnofiight]

hc that Asher is a ONCE and every single moment he is given the chance he will randomly bust out singing "YOU MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL" and does the choreography perfectly.

Asher: what's wrong with the food?

Milo: idk it's nothing in particular it's ok.. it's nothing special though

Asher : 😊

Milo: No-

Asher:

[tarysu]

Mr telephone man | Tachihara x reader

woah uhm, HEYYYU GUYYSSS. My fiongers are dead ass broken from playing tekken w my dad (he's such a pro istg) but I was thinking abt making this erm uh tachi x reader fic (i'm crazy) anways enjoy!! ITS BASED OFF A SONG TOO!! tw: swearing idk bruh, some nsfw ig GRGRGGRGR (they're just kissing) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------

You haven't been at the hunting dogs' station for too long, but your role isn't exactly one of the practical heroes. No, you're not out there chasing down prey or sniffing out trouble like the rest of the team. You're the paper lady. And don't let the title fool you – it's no ordinary gig.

While the hunting dogs are busy being the action-packed heroes of the society, you find yourself knee-deep in paperwork. Unfinished tasks and untouched forms are your daily companions. While they're out in the field, you're holding down the fort, making sure the administrative side of things doesn't fall apart. It's a different kind of essential, even if it doesn't involve chasing tails or catching criminals.

when you first joined the hunting dogs, you only knew Sir Fukuchi. Your initial interview with him was a chaotic introduction to the team. Walking in, you found the hunting dogs in the midst of a minor dispute. A pink-haired girl was in tears, a brunette and a silver-haired individual were engaged in a heated argument – mainly about the questionable culinary creations of the poor brunette. Meanwhile, the 5th hunting dog was reportedly deep into a mission, infiltrating the Mafia.

You thought you had a decent grasp of what you were getting into, but this side of the hunting dogs took you by surprise. What kind of situation was this? you wondered. Slowly but surely, you grew accustomed to the atmosphere surrounding the hunting dogs. However, you never mustered the courage to get too close to any of them. Jouno Saigiku, in particular, seemed unnerving to engage in conversation with. Sir Fukuchi, on the other hand, proved to be quite the comedian with his fart jokes. Teruko stood out as an odd but positively positioned vice commander, and Tetchou emerged as the only one you deemed decent enough for a conversation, at least. As for the fifth hunting dog, you didn't bother taking an interest in him – he remained a mystery, and you were content with the distance.

Well, that was until you got a call. Seated in the hunting dog meeting hall, a ring echoed from the other side of the room. You stood up, anticipating yet another paperwork fiasco you'd have to tackle. But no, this time was different.

With a curious look, you made your way to the phone and decided to pick it up. "Hello, this is the hunting dog district. Who is it?" you answered. On the other end of the call, a male voice resonated – Michizou Tachihara, the 5th hunting dog.

"It's Michizou Tachihara. Could you possibly alert the rest of the hunting dogs for my return later this winter? " he spoke in a cool, composed tone.

You took note of his youth compared to the other members and couldn't help but wonder about the weight of his workload, considering his role as a spy. Again, you were the newcomer. Tachihara, unfamiliar with your voice, had to assume you were a recent addition to the team. In his line of work, he knew the ins and outs of everyone associated with the hunting dogs – from the receptionist of the building to the janitors. Yet, your presence seemed to be a new and uncharted territory for him. "Right away sir." "Thank you."

There you ended the call with Tachihara, not particularly invested beyond the task at hand. But before you could return to the looming pile of paperwork, another call interrupted your brief respite. Just what you needed.

Letting out an annoyed sigh, you answered, "Hello, this is the hunting dog district. How may I help you-"

"You cut me off."

"Oh, you again."

Your voice carried a tone of increased annoyance. Time was ticking, and the 5th had attempted a second call. Maybe, just maybe, you could transfer him to another line and escape the ongoing interruptions.

"Sorry again, I was going to ask who were you?"

Seriously? That's what he called for. You, accustomed to speaking freely around the hunting dogs, felt a surge of frustration. Tachihara was about to get a taste of your unprofessional tone.

"Fuck around and find out."

With that, you decisively ended the call. Well, damn? That sure left Tachihara in quite a shock, and it seemed to have put him in a foul mood. The encounter had a similar effect on you, leaving you scribbling the same shit on the paperwork in an equally foul mood. . .. ... .... ..... .... ... .. .

The phone rang, and once again, you found yourself stationed in the hunting dog meeting hall. The inevitable question lingered – who was on the other side of the line this time? As it turned out, it was the 5th hunting dog, him again.

"Hello, how may I help y-" you began, holding the phone to your ear, only to be met with the same voice that had soured your mood before.

"You, the fuck was with you?" He was clearly livid. Before he could even unleash a torrent of slurs on the line, you swiftly transferred the call to the receptionist. Today was not the day for dealing with his grievances. . .. ... .... ..... .... ... .. . Today brought an increased workload, and it seemed like a substantial portion of it came directly from the 5th hunting dog. This managed to fray your nerves. It was evident that this extra load was a consequence of your previous behaviour on the line, a somewhat irritating reminder that you were expected to meticulously organise every criminal report, particularly those concerning the mafia. So, there you were, ensuring everything was neatly arranged while also dealing with your usual daily paperwork.

Seriously, that mother fucker really knew how to retaliate for something minor. And then, just to add insult to injury, the phone rang. Sighing, you stood up to answer.

"Enjoyin' the paperwork?" he snickered on the other end.

"Well, thanks a lot, fuckface." You retorted. Tachihara on the other line seemed thoroughly amused by the response you threw his way. He was well aware that he was getting under your skin, and, on top of that, he was pretty pissed off that a newbie would dare to speak to him like that. "Hey, just a little reminder of what you got yourself into. Just know that you got more paperwork comin' your way. Got that?"

Seriously? More paperwork? Considering the stacks already piling up in the meeting hall, you felt yourself teetering on the edge of chaos.

"To think the government invests so much in your surgeries."

You rolled your eyes, your fingers idly fiddling with the phone line wires. It struck you as odd that he was the only one you seemed to be talking to, and his insults were fucking creative. It got to the point where you had to start jotting down comebacks on extra sheets of paper.. Now you found yourself spending a considerable amount of time engaged in an insult battle with Tachihara, all through the medium of a phone call. It had escalated to the point where you had to pull a chair near the phone line just to continue hurling the same insults. .. It had become a regular routine between the two of you – every phone call now seemed to be a platform for exchanging a barrage of insults. Colleagues passing by the meeting hall would often catch the most foul and heinous insults streaming from your mouth. Tachihara had managed to unlock a wild side in you. Normally quiet and obedient, you'd typically stick to finishing your paperwork and barely exchange words with your other colleagues. The next day, the routine repeated itself – the same back-and-forth of curses. It got to the point where even Jouno himself had to tell you both to shut the fuck up from the other side of the building. You chuckled at Tachihara's weak comebacks, but he'd find reasons to laugh at yours too.

Oddly, the insults ceased. During work, you always anticipate a call from Tachihara. Somehow, you had come out of your shell a bit. The conversations shifted from relentless insults to discussions about work and other mundane topics.

It made you wonder, are you seriously finding enjoyment in connecting with someone so distant through a simple phone call? You'd be damned. it seemed like even the other end of the line was taking an interest in you.

. .. ... .... ..... .... ... .. . It wasn't a regular day, it was an occasional one since all the hunting dogs were present in the meeting hall. Even the 5th himself was there. Although you hadn't planned on greeting him due to the impending workload, you found yourself somewhat pulled into the meeting hall to present reports.

You had expected Tachihara to look a little different in your mind's eye, but, lord, he was a clean guy. The scent, the full attire of an expected hunting dog, two piercing studs, a sharp amber gaze, and short ginger hair—all added up to his polished appearance. Yet, you barely exchanged words even after the meeting. He got pulled over by your colleagues to discuss his reports on the mafia infiltration. Oddly enough, he didn't even know what you looked like through the phone, but he assumed it was you. After all, you were the well-spoken newbie who had joined the hunting dogs staff team.

His assumption wasn't entirely baseless. You had been staring at him from a far distance, and he, being a keen spy, noticed it.

it took a while for the swarm of people to disperse. There you were, smiling a little more lively than usual. This was the fucker you had been pissed at for dumping stacks of paperwork on your behalf. Yet, it was surprising how a simple phone call had led to this moment.

Talking to him face to face felt a bit strange, considering the shitty threats you've exchanged through call. It took another long hour to finally approach him, especially since Sir Fukuchi had called him over to the office. At times, you were close to giving up on the idea altogether.

Summoning the courage, you finally approached him. The first thing you did was hit him hard on the back. In your defense, it was to fix his posture.

Tachi froze, then turned his head with a livid expression.

"OW—THE FUCK IS WITH YOU?!" his reaction was certainly amusing to you.

"C'mon? I was just fixing your shitty posture." You offered a smug grin. Tachihara was visibly pissed, your choice for a first-time interaction had certainly caught him off guard. However, you couldn't help but laugh. In retaliation, he hit your back with the same force.

You jolted a little, acknowledging that he got you back, at least.

"You also got a shit posture too," he remarked in a sassy tone.

For the past few months, the only member of the workplace you talked to was Tachihara. Some of your colleagues were surprised by how close you two had become within months of calls. It was safe to say he had become quite entertaining. Surprisingly, you discovered that you both shared a lot of interests. He initially thought you were more of a bookworm, given your polished and well-maintained work attire, but it turned out you weren't the type to shy away from spending your free time on game consoles.

He was young, just like you. The two of you related to most things and found yourselves laughing about the dumbest shit. But sometimes, as you looked at him, you saw more than just a companion; you saw a man you were falling for. There were moments when a thick lump formed in your throat, and your heart gave an unexpected thump. Maybe, just maybe, you were perceiving him a bit differently. Some of the jokes you made evolved into heartfelt expressions. Even the smallest displays of affection had the power to set your heart ablaze. Seriously, you found yourself looking forward to calling him, especially during his missions. Although, more often than not, you anticipated him reaching out instead. Sure, you got on his nerves, but you were one of his favourite fuckers to banter with. It was a welcome break, talking to you and taking a step back from the rest of the idiots in the mix. ..Sure, he saw you as someone close, and maybe there were times when you two felt a bit more connected when alone. His hand running through your hair and the occasional secret hand-holding behind everyone's sight made those moments special. You weren't certain about being official until one call left you squealing and squirming in your pillow. . .. ... .... ..... .... ... .. . It was the two of you, messing around like usual, goofing off in the meeting hall. It was early in the morning, and you both had to keep it quiet, or Jouno would undoubtedly be on the verge of telling you guys to shut the fuck up once again. God, Tachihara looked flawless in your eyes. He was sprawled across the stacks of paper scattered on the floor, and there you were, on top of him, admiring the 5th hunting dog. Your right hand gently traced his facial features before running through his short spikes. They looked hard, but to your surprise, they were quite soft. He felt mutual about you, and just as you were lost in admiration, he interrupted your thoughts with a taste of his lips. It was a long and agonisingly good kiss, where you could even savour the distinct flavour of him.

You too savored the taste of him, pulling away with a string of saliva connecting both your lips. He looked dazed, clearly affected by the taste of you.

Just as he was about to lean in for another kiss, you sat up and placed your hand on his lips to stop him. It was the meeting hall, and as much as you wanted to savour his tongue, the two of you would make a little too much noise.

"Gettin' eager, are we?" You teased.

His cheeks still blazed with red, and he looked away from your gaze, pulling your hand down from his lips.

"Well, this fuckin' sucks." He muttered. "Well, it sucks even more 'cause we got a mess to clean up," you remarked, indicating at all the paperwork scattered around the floor. You gave him a small peck on the cheek, reassuring him.

"Another time, I'll let ya pound my ass," you declared, standing up to prepare to clean up the mess the two of you had made.

"Ya might as well be the first one to pop my cherry."

Well, that clearly set Mr Telephone Man on fire—a hot, red mess.

[himurah]

my poor baby girl

[deus-ex-mona]

1000000% lateness ✨guaranteed✨!!!!!

[nenoname]

Parallels and contrasts between Stan and Bill in the new book and website

Aka miscellaneous thoughts that I'm too lazy to condense into something comprehensible– what you see is what you get folks! (Book stuff, DVD commentaries! The website that came out when I was trying to write this out and is now making me pull my hair out! But in like a good way? That god damn poem!)

not necessarily same coin stuff but I sure am thinking about it.

It’s been said that a large part of Ford’s relationships with Bill, Fiddleford and Dipper was him trying to fill a hole that his estrangement with Stan had left, with none of them clicking in that same way. Dipper was directly compared to Fiddleford as someone who was completely charmed by Ford but is ultimately too anxious of a person to properly deal with the life he's offering nor pull him back when he starts going too far. Meanwhile, Bill is more analogous to Stan but to the extreme with all the doubts that Ford had been fed about Stan (that he was using him, he never grew up, he betrayed him, sabotaged the machine on purpose) turning out to be exactly true with Bill.

The book has Bill saying flat out that Ford wanted the charisma Bill had and then shows that at the peak of Ford's loneliness he was being envious of Stan's charisma, social skills and hands.

[STANLEY COULD HAVE MADE HER LAUGH]

(There’s an irony that Stan always thought that Ford was the popular twin even after doing embarrassing stuff like the kissing machine – if you haven’t seen the Swine Before Time Stan commentary get going, it’s great)

Then Bill swoops in with jokes and endless encouragement and the nickname only Stan used for him, all this in a way tailored for Ford to immediately like him while also reminding him of Stan but "better."

(The show rarely used it but Bill’s use of Sixer is extremely frequent in Journal 3 alone but the comics solidify it as being a pretty personal childhood nickname that kid!Stan used as his default way to call Ford.)

And then you see all of this working because Ford straight up writes Bill’s words using Stan's handwriting (and it turns out that Ford’s capital letter ‘for emphasis/angry’ font in general is the same as Stan’s handwriting too)

(It’s important to note that this is different from all the fonts that Bill uses for himself!)

All of this leads to the deja vu of Ford getting stabbed in the back by someone he was codependent on over a machine he thought was going to change his life for the better

Other things in the book that I’ve seen others point out and noticed myself:

Bill trying to reinforce that Ford would be alone without him, and threatening to tell Stan that Ford never loved him but the first thing Stan does in his letter is tell Ford that he loves him with their childhood code

Stan also only uses ‘Sixer’ in his letter when he normally tends to use a mix of nicknames post-Weirdmaggedon (sure it’s only twice but idk I find it noticeable)

Stan ripped a dollar in half when Bill taunted the reader earlier about how they wouldn’t do that

The promo photo vs the one in the book, Ford’s face being untouched vs Stan’s. While I initially interpreted this as “Bill’s book being a way to torment Ford” and then “him ending up having a meltdown at the thought of Stan”, the new poem kinda gives off an ominous vibe of "him moving on to focus on Stan instead whether he wants to or not"

Ford writing “miss you” in the bro code soon after arriving at Backupsmore which is shown in the Fiddleford photo, then Bill taunting Ford that he misses him

Bill and Stan now have another parallel of losing everything because of a genuine mistake but only Stan was willing to work to make up for it while Bill doubled down and became far far worse

The utter hatred Bill has for Stan being able to win in the end and get back his family

Both of them being institutionalized, with Stan’s mentioned in Guide to Mystery and Nonstop Fun (which has references to Bill liking Mabel for her chaos, silly straws, etc. Also Dipper basically came up with the Author theory but slightly wrong from theorising about the ink blot like a year before the Ford reveal)

(saturn devouring his son perfectly depicts my emotions when reaching this part of the book)

(EDIT: I was thinking about how Bill giving Ford three days to open the portal striked me as odd for some reason... and then I remembered;

Stan gave Mabel 3 days for their bet as well. Both of them specifically say 72 hours too.)

And now for the stuff we know from the website:

Bill having severe family issues with daddy issues implied since only his mum is mentioned directly with her trying to comfort him as a kid vs Stan having severe family issues with a definite focus on his dad while his mum was the only one to ask about Stan during that meeting with the principal and her being the only one to show up to his funeral

Both of them wear their dad’s hat despite of all of this

Bill starting a billion cults and has a lawyer called Multilevel Mark, Stan having his Scientology-esque cult being shot down by irl Disney and as a kid having his “technically a pyramid scheme” comic being shot down by a publisher

(I doubt that Stanentology would’ve gotten far but also you can see that a trend that the main way Bill gathers followers is by reading minds and revealing secrets only the victim would know, so let's hope that Disney-let-him-start-a-cult AU Stan never gets mind reading abilities)

Despite how we know how Stan is traumatised as hell from losing Ford, it’s noticeably isn’t referred directly in the Wheel of Shame (like you can’t tell me that the time between pushing Ford into the portal and starting the Shack isn’t as rock bottom as it gets, Bill literally recognises Stan in the first place by thinking about his brand). This probably is because Bill knows that they managed to repair their relationship and he’s fucking pissed about it.

There's further parallels between Stanley and Bill in poem; with lies and redemption and home, and further association with fire for the both of them

“Saw his own dimension burn.

Misses home and can't return.”

“Always dragged his family down.

One mistake, disowned, denied,

Only thing to do was hide.”

“One way out: the open road.

Reinvent, retry, reload.

A girdle, eyepatch, fathers fez,

"I'm a new man!" so he says”

“One way to absolve his crime.

A different form, a different time”

“His big break, it finally came,

Redemption from a life of shame.”

“Says he's happy. He's a liar.”

“Truth is just whatever sells.

When you've lost track of your lies,”

“Lie until you aren’t lying anymore”

Bill in a rotting corpse of a snake oil salesman

This triangle can fit so much self-loathing projection while being a hater

(Also it's funny that Bill is so insistent that Ford had to be the one who came up with the plan

Like look at this

See ‘em cogs turning in Stan’s head while Ford has clearly given up hope)

“How dare he dress up fancy when his jokes suck!!”

There's a parallel of Ford projecting onto Dipper in a way that makes him feel like kindred spirits with his nephew but Stan projects on Dipper in a way that causes him to be more harsh even if he has good intentions. Meanwhile Bill projects onto Ford in a more positive light in comparison to Stan, who in this case Bill wants to rip him and himself into shreds whenever he thinks of the guy. Bill’s shared love for fun/chaos with Mabel (despite them being so different at their core) is why he likes her the most out of all the Pines but that doesn’t stop him from trying to murder her (although I think most folks don’t know about that interview where Alex was like “yeah, I think Bill would’ve burnt Ford alive the moment he got the equation, he’s done playing with his toys at that point”)

Other tidbits:

I find it interesting that the full version of the Wheel of Shame has blue sparks and fades to grey scale (which automatically reminded me of his mindscape)

Stan signing off as Stanley in the book – this ain’t anything huge to chew on I'm just very over emotional about this… but also there’s Bill being called Billy by his family/in the codes

Ford thinking of Stan as childish/someone who never grew up and then we get hit by “yeah Ford always had some part of himself stuck at 18” oof

Ford underestimating Stan’s control over the mindscape, not knowing that he’s able to hide memories in Dreamscaperers, manipulate the layout of his mindscape enough to trick Bill and memory!Stan telling Dipper how to use the mindscape which Bill was genuinely surprised by

I'm headcanoning that Stan doing so bad at that history test is due to some latent bs from what Bill knows which is all crazy conspiracy level stuff

I think it's also intensely funny that all of the Pines promise that they'll murder Bill if they ever see him again and then they immediately turn to Stan and go “now it's your turn to write a letter! :D!!”

(I feel like the main requirement that the Theraprism has for Bill before he can reincarnate is mainly acknowledging his family idk which honestly would fit even better if his soul becomes Stan’s)

EDIT: I FORGOT TO MENTION THE OUROBOROS PASSWORD (or... uh oroborous which is a typo when theres a suspicious amount on the site which may mean somethng but i digress) anyway that leads to the Shack Axolotl lore where it bluntly states that Ford released it despite it showing up 30 years later anyway

and theres....

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

This is complaining day because I realized there's more than one thing that got on my nerves lately and it's not just about the treatment of a kpop idol's mother. Let's begin.

Please, stop refering to Jungkook's mother as mama Jeon. I know the tendency is to ignore so many of the cultural differences that exist, but in SK, people don't change their surname after marriage. It just sounds idiotic and westernized in a ridiculous way.

So, Jungkook's mother loves all BTS members. She LOVES them all. How does army know that? How? I'm genuinely curious and genuinely asking. Because they say it as a certainty. Or, forgive me if my memory is faulty as well, but the only instance that we as outsiders were privy to in which we heard that woman speak for the first time, it was in early 2021 on another phonecall with Jungkook when she said I love you to Jimin.

Of course, the same ot7 narrative came as a buldozer at that time too. Damn, does that mean Jimin = BTS? Sometimes yes, but only when Army wants to diminish Jimin's importance and doesn't allow him to stand out individually too much. Musically or otherwise. But back to this Big Love that Jungkook's mom is supposedly feeling for everyone and which has been invoked once again when that woman mentioned Jimin twice while talking to Jungkook on the phone. Cause she already knew they were in Jeju. I bet she didn't have to find out randomly from a schedule group chat.

So what happens? An assumption is turned into certainty because of small people being extremely insecure. Because they see that one person is once again given more importance on a personal level and we can't have that. No sir! So in a panic, they tweet, they post on tumblr, tiktok, youtube the old age, boring af, sounding like a broken record sentence: "Mama Jeon loves all seven". Fuck me gently with a chainsaw cause that sounds a lot better than the feeling of throwing up I get whenever I read such things.

No, she doesn't love all of them. That is not a fact. It could be true and it's not impossible. But it is not a fact based on the knowledge we have at the moment.

Also, it shows once again that an entire fandom is actively creating a reality of their own which is not even like some sort of simulacrum of the reality they must live through. In Army world, the mother of one member of a k-pop group must love all the members of such group. It doesn't matter than irl, our mothers a lot of the times don't even like all our friends, besties or partners. We might have the most incredible connections and it would mean nothing to our mothers.

In that same vein, another narrative that makes me want to pull my eyes out is the "awww, their bond is to die for, they are (like) siblings after all". Do any of them never had any siblings? Never saw other people and their relationship with their siblings? Or with their family?

I also had to read (which was followed by me blocking it immediately) how Jimin and Jungkook's relationship is the sum of the other relationships they have with other BTS members. I mean, why would I have any sort of expectations from any of these people when they are completely incapable of looking at JM and JK as actual people. As persons with individual minds and an intellect of their own. Let alone the fact that their world does not stop with the presence of 5 other men. In what realistic scenario does this translate in real life? That's not how it works. Yes, we are social creatures and a product of our surroundings, but it is not in the way in which these stans believe it to be. They think that living in a dorm for a few years and working together with other people, it means that those experiences are the only ones that actually shape the personality of a person. They are real people, not fictional characters. I've never heard such ridiculous theories in my entire life, to be used as talking points about someone's behavior or relationship with another person.

Maybe the need to create this elaborate fantasy comes from the lack of love in their life, which then gets projected into this Disney, kumbaya, capitalist heaven narrative in which everyone is a big family and they love each other so much and equally and all the parents of all the children love every single member and thus, harmony is created. Love is always platonic and ever present. The complexity of human relationships must not exist.

[sp-by-april]

Kyle Broflovski Master List

a list of fics @by-april-march aka RoundTheWayGrrl 💖 FYI: Kyle is such a smut-a-thon staple, here is the separate [LIST OF SMUT-A-THON KYLE ONE SHOTS]

F!READER Twenty-Something [Ao3] [[tumblr]] You meet Kyle in a bar. Sure he's twice your age, but that doesn't mean you can't have a little fun, right?

Thighs [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle's too distracted to study, because the only thing he can think about is you sitting on his face.

Helpless [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle's tied up, overstimulated, and edged to within an inch of his life.

Nineteen [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle offers to take your virginity.

Revenge [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle helps you forget all about your ex-boyfriend.

Buttons [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle tames a brat.

Vibes [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle' finds your vibrator.

Little Date [Ao3] [[tumblr]] It's your third date with Kyle.

Pavlove [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle is obsessed with YOU.

Everything He Needs [Ao3] [[tumblr]] YOU are obsessed with Kyle.

Hurts So Good [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle takes his anxious girlfriend's virginity.

The Closest Thing [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [Kyle, Stan x Reader] Kyle catches you fooling around with Stan. Luckily, you know exactly how to settle the frustration and sexual tension between all of you 

Mess [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [Kyle, Stan x Reader] Kyle and Stan tame a brat until she's a fell-fucked, drooling, mess. 

Where Did The Party Go? [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [WattPad] [Kyle, Kenny x Reader] You, Kenny, and Kyle turn a wet dream about a threesome into a reality.

Dare [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [Wattpad] [Stan, Kyle, Kenny x Reader] A game of truth or Dare devolves into Kenny, Kyle and Stan using you as a plaything.

Claim It [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [Kyle, Kenny x Reader] Kyle and Kenny have you on your knees and bound.

Conceited [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [Kyle, Stan x Brat!Reader] Kyle & Stan do some public brat taming.

M!Reader Invitation [Ao3] [[tumblr]] Kyle fucks you at a wedding, despite a falling out & him already having a boyfriend.

SMUT CAFE ONE SHOTS [EMOJI LEGEND] Kyle x F!Reader - [🍒💚🐣🙊🐾] Kyle x F!Reader [🍒💚🐣🙊🕯️] Kyle x F!Reader [🍒💚🦇🐣⚡️] Kyle x F!Reader [🍒💚😍🦂🚩]

Elf King Kyle x F!Reader [🍒💚🐣💫⚡️] Human Kite x M!Reader [💝🐓👀🥀🕸️] Vamp!Kyle x M!Reader [🐓💚💢🦇🦂] Kyle x Bebe [💚💗🐣💫♾️]

LIST OF SMUT-A-THON ONE SHOTS

MISC Hold Me Tight Or Don't [Ao3] [Tumblr] [Kyle x Nichole] Kyle is ready to take it to the next level, leading to an awkward proposal he swore he'd never, ever make.

I Could Be Van Gogh, If You'd Be My Muse [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [Kyle x April, Stan x Kyle] There's a smut writing club at South Park High!

Sunshine Riptide [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [WattPad] [Kyle x Martine, Kyle x Annie Nelson] Stan brings a strange girl to the Elf King's door and the Grand Wizard seeks to reclaim her.

South of Nowhere [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [WattPad] [Kenny x Nichole x Kyle] Senior year. Kyle and Kenny have been defacto best friends since Stan pulled away. Kyle and Nichole have been fooling around, but he hasn't made a move or said anything about being interested in a relationship. Kenny and Nichole have been getting closer as she trains Karen. 💚 🍯 🧡 Virginity. Prom. Love triangle. Young adulthood. Yearning. Aching. How will they ever survive? Smutty Kyle HCs [[tumblr]] Smutty Elf King Kyle HCs [[tumblr]] King Kyle - Prima Nocta (SOT AU Art) [[tumblr]]

Warm Blood [Ao3] [[tumblr]] [WattPad] [Kyle x Martine, Kyle x Stan] Kenny McCormick knew better than to fall for Kyle's ex-girlfriend, the same one who spent her nights working for Professor Chaos as a villain... but fucking her a few times couldn’t hurt, right? A one-time thing that turned into another (& another, & another, & then.. a love triangle) will eventually threaten the lives of everyone in South Park. Kenny just had to become infatuated with the only girl on Earth whose birthright was to destroy him.

FURTHER READING: 🔞 [Kenny McCormick] 🔞 [Stan Marsh] 🔞 [Eric Cartman]

[revehae]

i’m not asking you to write for wonbin but if you ever do js know i wiillllll be there !

yall have finally did it yall have won yall have Cracked me i hope youre happy bc i kinda am… i had this idea before he cut his hair now im feeling like that one harry styles fan tweet and i don’t even stan fr

warnings: drug use, addiction, is this dubcon idk

wc. 670

dealer!wonbin x (f) rich!reader.

wonbin knew you wouldn’t turn down his offer. not in the state that you were in, moody and tense as ever. the girl he’d seen around here and there at parties hadn’t come back around, not since he’d first seen her bump a line or two, and she’d been replaced by you.

what you had become over the months, at least.

not that wonbin would have it any other way. he liked having you kind of dependent on him, knowing he was the first person crossing your mind when you needed a fix. but the brief interactions, meeting you at a party or somewhere shady at night, your car window rolling up as quickly as it had gone down, weren’t enough anymore.

“no.”

“no?” you repeated, like the entitled, spoiled rich girl you really were deep down. wonbin had to give you credit, you cloaked it well, but when you were desperate, you showed your true colors. “what do you mean no?”

wonbin grinned playfully, in a way that he knew would aggravate you. “i mean, i set everything aside for my buddy, and i don’t have enough for you right now.”

you rubbed your nose and ran a finger through your hair, exhaling exasperatedly. “well, tell him to wait. i need it more than he does! is he paying you? i’ll pay you twice as much!”

there you went, offering him your pocket money, throwing it away like it was nothing just for a second of your high. but wonbin didn’t need your money. selling cocaine to recklessly needy addicts like yourself was a very lucrative business.

he shook his head. “sorry, that’s not gonna cut it. but i thought of something better.”

you were in the middle of losing what was left of your mind when wonbin said that and your eyes immediately snapped back to him, fixed to him before he could even get the words completely out.

“i’ll give you two grams if you let me fuck you,” wonbin said casually, a wild grin tugging at his lips. “six grams if you let me do it raw.”

you were a little reluctant at first, but wonbin wasn’t surprised when you finally caved, thinking to himself, that was too damn easy.

because he was nice, wonbin let you snort a line before he touched you, but he was on top of you not a second later. in spite of that, he didn’t move like he was in any particular hurry, snaking a hand up your shirt and pressing his lips against your lips. then your neck, your collarbone, your belly. almost affectionately, almost.

it started to work you up quickly, and you even got annoyed, tugging at his hair, but wonbin didn’t care. matter of fact, he could feel his body getting hotter, burning a thousand degrees. he wanted to savor every second of you, every touch of you, every smell of you.

wonbin really liked the smell of you. the sweet scent helped masked the madness underneath when you were like this. he leaned in to sniff your hair, your neck, your clothes, your hands.

it made his dick twitch in his pants and he couldn’t control himself anymore, yanking it free so that he could steer himself between your open, inviting legs, moaning shakily and blowing his hair out of his eyes as he pushed into you. 

knowing that only a few months ago, your dignity would have never let you consent to something like this, wonbin almost felt bad. he may have sold the drugs, but he never touched them otherwise. too many people he had seen wind up like you, selling themselves out for a moment of ecstasy.

but he wasn’t so different. your cunt squeezed and throttled the life out of his cock. sweat was the reason your body clung to his. you were muttering his name, dragging red lines down his back with your fingernails. and for the time being, there was nothing wonbin wouldn’t do for his moment of ecstasy.

[snow-in-space]

Why Stan’s Winning Against Ford (Respectfully):

(This post is clearly all my opinion, so it’d be really cool to hear from Ford fans if you disagree or not!)

Originally I was just going to reblog @skipppppy ‘s poll about who the better twin is, but I got caught up making these joke bulletin boards:

And now, some joke bullets:

I want to make it clear that I love both characters, but I also need to tell you that I have a favorite, and it’s Stan. I don’t know how to explain it exactly, except that one of these men will make a “my aim is getting better” joke at a very poignant and dramatic moment to one up a mentally + physically abusive demon that has been violating his bodily autonomy for weeks on end— the other will make a “her aim is getting better” joke at the completely wrong time because he thought it was really funny. Although the stakes are so much higher, Ford ‘wins’ his interaction in a sense, and Stan ‘fails,’ leading him to harass children out of loneliness until he gets the lake police called on him.

I don’t know why that speaks to me more, but it does.

- Ford is fascinating as a man both made and destroyed by his own ambition, and Stan punched a dinosaur in the face for his niece’s pet pig.

- Ford took the advice of a literal demon over the concerns and fears of his oldest friend— Stan habitually robs businesses and anyone who lets him into their home without thinking twice about it.

- Ford is a loser who likes DD&D despite having seen creatures beyond most people’s imagination first hand— Stan sells people “a rock that looks like a face” only because he knows they’re dumb enough to buy it.

- Ford guts aliens and monsters on crazy, wild adventures— Stan runs a humble, small town business where he glues dead animals together for a living.

- Ford is wanted across the multiverse for committing crimes to take down Bill (he writes Stan off as a selfish criminal most of his life, despite justifying all his own crimes). Stan is a wanted man because he has committed “llamacide.”

- Ford grew up a genius and prodigy, lived his dream, gained a close friend and a ‘muse’— then squandered it all on accident by being a little dummy dumb who ignored all the warnings because he wanted to be famous (and not just FAMOUS, but unsurpassably famous, which is why he wouldn’t settle for anything less than his research and the portal). He spends the next thirty years dedicating his life to destroying Bill, because it’s for the greater good (and revenge, and is another high stakes goal for him to chase). Stan grew up to be a criminal and con artist, lost everything and everyone, worked endlessly and thanklessly for thirty years to get his brother back— for nothing more than that— and he still ships pugs in barrels across the Mexican border just because.

- Ford is a nerd facing nerd-like cosmic horrors and consequences. Stan is a man who has suffered earthly horrors and endorses child labor, but also gets his hands dirty in unearthly horrors because of said children.

- Ford shocks his brother by being hella buff and capable and involved with the demon bringing about the apocalypse. Stan shocks his brother by stealing his house, name, and everything else, and then committing more crimes.

- Ford felt stifled by other people and only wanted sidekicks he could project himself onto (he’d sooner fight god than come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t discarded/betrayed by the people he cared about, but instead mistreated them. Luckily he’s fought god and now he has no other excuses). Stan’s support system threw him out as a teenager and he’d blamed himself ever since. He’s alone until Soos and the kids come into his life and doesn’t take them for granted.

- Ford was further isolated and taken advantage of by Bill, facing great personal damage as a result. Stan takes advantage of countless others, but can’t click with anyone enough to cause any personal damage.

- Ford’s whole story feels so polished, dark, mature and professional— very fitting for a horror novel or sci-fi protagonist. Stan’s story is largely told through crude jokes in a children’s comedy show, but is still so rough on a closer inspection that it doesn’t get lost in its oddities.

In summary, it’s up to preference, but there is an interesting distinction in experience:

Liking Ford = a thoughtful analysis of an interesting man that makes me say, “lol, why’d he do that?” when he does something cute or stupid.

Liking Stan = asking myself “lol, why’d he do that?” every minute or so, and realizing I wasn’t ready for the thoughtful analysis that would take over my brain, but not change the absurd mess of his actions whatsoever. He has the comedy AND tragedy on lock.

[poppurini]

him as a private tutor

leona, jade, malleus, lilia & gn reader

magicless au, platonic, for fun

˖ leona kingscholar

“Just Leona. Let me see your textbook.” no introductions or anything, just straight to the point. probably doesn’t ask for your name since he already knew. yes he didn’t prepare anything beforehand, no flipping through your syllabus before the actual tutoring because this man just skims through your textbook under twenty minutes and started teaching. yes he’s good at it. unfair, really. sometimes he’ll get a generational shock at the current syllabus though. “The hell are kids learning these days.” “Do you even need these in real life.”

he may seem like an indolent man (and he is) but it’s honestly so impressive of him to be able to understand your syllabus the moment he reads through them and being able to teach you about it.

strictness is 4/10 he doesn’t really care if you didn’t do the homework he assigned bc he’s not gonna be the one failing those exams that determines 70% of your future. yes those were his exact words. he might nag you a little but after that nothing’s on him. clocks off right on time.

˖ jade leech

this mf whips out a whole stack of 9cm tall worth of exercises for you because he thinks it’s funny. eerily friendly. might unintentionally make you feel a little dumb when he does that little inhale and tilts his head slightly, looking genuinely confused as to how you could get this question wrong. wears glasses (i know what jade leech stans are) occasionally. yes those attractive thin framed ones. only when you’re halfway selling off your soul to deal with the mountain of exercises he’s telling you “Oh, you needn’t get all of them completed today.” with that very innocent smile.

strictness is 7/10 he’s scary when he’s strict. might let you off the hook once or twice with incomplete homework (only with valid reasons tho) but afterwards that service smile drops and questions why you’re so reluctant on doing homework. it’s just a 2k word essay. also clocks off right on time even if he’s about to finish teaching a topic he’s not going to provide free labour.

˖ malleus draconia

this man is INSANE literally not one day does he wear a casual outfit to your sessions it’s always professional wear with him. yeaah i’m back with my dress pants dress shirt along with vest plus neat tie malleus only this time he doesn’t have his collar unbuttoned and sleeves rolled up sob sob gotta look clean. intimidating asl but that’s just bc he’s bad at connecting with the younger generations (or anyone, really) however it’s very sweet of him to still try and crack some academic related jokes with a straight face (it’s up to u whether they’re funny or not) hoping you’ll laugh. look he really wants u to open up to him so that u can absorb knowledge better instead of being constantly on edge around him ok

strictness is 9/10 oohlala much like jade he’d close an eye if it’s not a frequent occasion but he demands respect and you constantly putting off the works he assigned to help you clearly shows you don’t think of him as anything. he is patient and nice but only when you deserve it. also he’d delay a maximum of twenty minutes of your time after class ends just to finish talking about the topic.

˖ lilia vanrouge

DEADASS the most fun tutor ever. he’s all malleus ever want to be. bought drinks or snacks on his way and decided to buy you some too (just take it even if the flavours are weird). this man makes you comfortable around him instantly and teaches better than most of your teachers in school. definitely checks out your stationary while you’re suffering in doing matrixes. you can hear him mumbling to himself sometimes “Broo we didn’t even have these back then.” and it’s a squared glue stick. “Can you link me where you got this.” also THE most patient tutor and he won’t even let you feel bad for making him explain the same thing for the nth time. his job is to teach! not scold.

strictness being a 2/10 he’ll still advise you to do your homework but not in a scolding manner. he’ll really gently talk you into doing them for your own good unless you’re outright being disrespectful then the rate changes :p will ask if you want him to continue when the clock strikes end of session. if you don’t, okay! he’ll get back to it next lesson.

[akiraruru]

(๑•̀д•́๑) " 𝘼𝙣𝙣𝙤𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙮 𝙙𝙤 "

Included: Kaeya, Diluc, Albedo, Zhongli, Raiden Ei, gn! Reader

CW: Mentions of drinking.

A/n: Stan twice for better life (stream set me free on Spotify!) Possibly ooc, not proofread

Kaeya:

▶ You know when the bartender serves your drinks? And when you go and get your drink he'll snatch it before you can before giving it to you. I don't know why but I just feel like he'll do this to tease you lol, he doesn't do it often though.

▶ It's really frustrating because it's like when you're about to eat something but your siblings get to it before you. Kaeya finds it funny how your face turns when he does it.

▶ Like imagine you're so excited to get your drink but then BAM snatched.

▶ At first you'd be a tad bit confused because he didn't say anything about it so you'd just kind of ask him why after a while.

▶ When you ask Kaeya about it he'll just laugh it off and say he's just simply teasing you.

"Okay here are your drinks, hope you guys enjoy it" the bartender says while they put down your and kaeya's drink "Thank you " Kaeya says in thanks to the bartender, you went to get your drink but kaeya got it before you, you looked at him in confusion as to what he's doing "Why'd you get my drink?" You ask while he just chuckled and put it back on the table. After a while you've slowly grown used to this particular habit of his.

Diluc:

▶ Diluc has this habit where he would pop out of nowhere behind you and suddenly touch you without saying a word before greeting you hello.

▶ It's kinda creepy too because you don't really know when he arrived behind you because of his quiet ass.

▶ AND AND he would just smile at you innocently as if he didn't just pop out of nowhere and scare you.

▶ Diluc doesn't really get why you get startled because he thought you always knew he was coming right up behind you.

▶ Now this can be real annoying especially if you get startled or scared easily lol.

▶ If you ever tell Diluc about it, he'll try his best to make his presence known less scary.

Since Adelinde was on a day off you were cleaning the dishes after you and Diluc had dinner, after he ate, he excused himself as he had documents to sign so obviously you thought that he was upstairs. Well, you were kinda right but he decided to do them later and came back down to see you washing the dishes, you didn't notice him coming up behind you as you continued to sway your hips while singing. He suddenly puts his hands on your waist causing you to jump and look behind you quickly.

"What do you want to do tonight?"

He asks, you look at him with sightly wide eyes before returning your attention back to washing the dishes.

Albedo:

▶ I will be doing this in modern au because why not.

▶ Albedo has a habit of pointing out your spelling/mistakes in chats.

▶ He would correct them too.

▶ Like it would just be a tiny typo then he's be saying "you spelt ___ wrong"

▶ I love albedo but PLEASE, he's sometimes so logical at times it isn't funny any more.

▶ He will literally notice the slightest mistakes in your grammar. Like you didn't put the comma in the right place? He'll notice.

☑ [name]: Hey 'bedo you coming later?

☑ Albedo: You forgot to add a comma.

▶ Leave them grammar mistakes alone.

☑ [name]: Did you knoo about the homework yesterday?

☑ Albedo: *know. Yes I did, thanks for reminding me.

☑ [name]: okay, it's due tomorrow

Zhongli:

▶ Zhongli's annoying habit is that he sometimes speaks in deep words and would often not say what it means (this is me fr in my native language, I never understood deep words T-T)

▶ You'd be having a normal conversation with him and then he'll say something like 'Mellifluous' and then if you ask him he'll just look at you for a second then go back to what he was talking about.

▶ But if he's feeling generous he'll actually say what it means.

▶ Mellifluous is a word to describe someone's voice as sweet-sounding or musical lol.

▶ These stuff usually happens when he's telling a story that happened when he was still an archon or whenever he's talking about stuff like flowers, history, etc..

▶ It also happens often at tea time! Since that's where he mostly tell his stories and experiences.

▶ While you kinda found it confusing, it was also kinda attractive since he speaks so proper and formal.

"Guizhong is a kind girl, her voice was mellifluous and smooth. It's pleasant to hear" He said as he talked about his old friend Guizhong. "Wait, what's mellifluous?" You ask, not knowing what the word means "Ah.." He just said before looking down at his tea then continues to talk about Guizhong, about how she was when she was still alive. You sat there in confusion.

After a while he finally says what it means "Mellifluous means that someone's voice sounds sweet or pleasant to the ear"

Raiden Ei:

▶ I THINK we know what she does.

▶ Raiden would sometimes steal your mochi/sweets when you aren't looking.

▶ Like for example you got distracted by something, either by a person talking to you or when she purposely distracts you by saying things like "[name] look! There's a cute cat over there"

▶ She'll make sure you're fully distracted before getting a piece and stuffing it in her mouth lol.

▶ Sometimes you can tell she ate a piece because of the residue on the sides of her mouth lol.

▶ If you ever notice a piece is missing and you ask her about it she'll just deny it and say that you already ate it (gaslighting at its fullest)

▶ She'll just look at you confused as if she didn't just sneak a snack into her mouth when you ask her about it 😒.

▶ You can tell she ate it though, but we don't talk about that, you don't have the heart to tell her.

You were munching on some cookies while also giving bites to Ei because you know how much she loves sweet stuff "[name] look is that yae?" Ei says while pointing her finger at something in order to distract you "hm?" You acknowledged as you turned around where her finger was facing, while you were trying to see where Yae is Ei took a cookie or two from the container it was in and quickly ate it "hmm.. I don't see her" You say, not being able to see the pink haired girl. You turn back to your cookies and there was only one left "huh, I swear there were two cookies left" You said while you searched the table, you then turned to Ei and asked "Ei have you-" You cut your self off as Ei looked at you with an innocent face while you notice the crumbs on the corners of her mouth that wasn't there before.

Likes, follows, reblogs, and any kind of feedback is appreciated!

[rubydubydoo122]

what are your most hated fanon takes on tim drake? as a hardcore Tim stan I want to know what to avoid since I haven't read that many comics yet

Just as a preface, take whatever I say with a grain of salt. You're allowed to like what you like and not like what you don't like. You don't have to have the same opinions on the Tim Drake Fandom as I do.

Mainly I don't like when they overtly woobify him, and kinda take a massive shit on the other characters. Like, you don't have to like other batfam members, but at least try to understand their characters

Like, The way Some Tim Fans will villify Dick for the sake of uplifting Tim, or Exploding the way that passing the mantle of Robin from Tim to Damian went down. Could it have been done better? Yes, but in no way was Tim holding harsh feelings towards Dick for that. Tim was Grieving Bruce and everyone else in his life who had died and pushing people away.

Same thing with Damian. Like yeah, Damian was a little shit when he first moved to the manor, but by no means was he the Devil Tim Fans make him out to be.

And Tim was snarking Jason off during the entirety of the events of Titans Tower. No harm done to his self esteem. In fact, Tim still thinks he's a better Robin than Jason was even after Jason Knock him out.

Oh! And Jason Didn't have any intention of Killing Tim during the events at Titans Tower. If He wanted to, Tim would be Dead.

On top of all of that, Tim wasn't as severely neglected as some fanon makes him out to be. Sure he was probably emotionally neglected, but not to the point where the maid was the only adult figure in his life coming over twice a week, and Tim had to fend for himself. Janet and Jack were pretty good parents. Not the Best, but they also weren't as shitty as fanon makes them out to be.

I'll admit, when I was new to the fandom, I loved all of these tropes, and Tim was one of my favorites, but through learning how Tim Drake actually is in canon, I find popular Tim Drake Fanon tropes insufferable. And they're everywhere.

I'll also admit, that some of these tropes are in the earlier fics I wrote, but I have been learning as I move through the fandom.

At the end of the day, I do hold a lot of respect for Tim Drake fic writers, because writing fics are hard, but personally, I'm going to scroll past.

[c0la-queen]

Tord Headcanons | The Stoic One

---

Let's start with his physical appearance!

My Tord has pale skin, since he is from Norway and doesn't get a lot of sun.

His hair is naturally that dark brown color that we see in Classic, but he dyes it the caramel brown color from Legacy- though, sometimes he can be seen with dark brown roots when he needs to touch up the dye.

My Tord has silver eyes, and I often describe them as piercing or being able to see through people. I think his eyes are one of the most unnerving parts of Tord, and makes people uncomfortable.

No facial hair- he shaves it if it starts to get stubbly.

Tord is the second tallest in my timeline, standing at 6'4 (I like my boys inhumanely tall). Edd is the only one taller than him and it pisses Tord off to no end.

I like to think Tord has the most athletic build of the group, being the military oriented one. He's not skinny and he doesn't have painfully unnatural muscles like you'd see in magazines. Think more along the lines of Chris Evans or Sebastian Stan. (Also has the juiciest man tiddies) Tord would alternate between going to the gym in the morning and going on morning runs through the neighborhood. He runs more often during the winter, since he's always thrived in cold weather. If Reader also liked working out or was interested in starting, he'd gladly let them join him. I think he'd even teach them self defense if they asked.

Because I think Tord would have some connection to his cultural roots, my Tord has a small tattoo of Yggdrasil on his collarbone, and an even smaller protection rune on one of his wrists. He has a piercing hole in one of his ears that he sometimes wears a simple black stud in; he got it pierced during his emo phase in high school.

Family life:

Tord is an older brother is one younger sister. He practically raised her until he moved out.

His dad was Red Leader before him and put him through intense training. Turned him into a child soldier. Resents his dad for it all.

Only time he ever argued with his dad is when he tried to give his sister the same training- Tord refused to let him.

Worst thing his dad ever did was make Tord do wilderness survival for 3 nights in a Norwegian forest. He was 12.

A Eurasian Lynx managed to find him, but he got away with only claw marks on his back. He's still got the scars.

He doesn't hate his mother, but he's not particularly close with her. Because his training started from such a young age, he spent most of his childhood around his father and other high ranking soldiers.

Cares a lot about his little sister and travels home to see her once or twice a year.

Now, personality:

My Tord is very apathetic sometimes, but mainly is just kind of calm and chill.

He likes to say that he'd rather be with his machines and inventions than other humans, but that's a bullshit lie and he's just being dramatic

Prefers being quiet, doesn't say a lot unless its under specific circumstances or he has commentary to give. He enjoys listening to Reader ramble endlessly, or just have her in his arms while he silently does some task.

He switched from cigarettes to vapes after a while, since its better than smoking and has more flavors available.

Likes energy drinks more than coffee, enjoys the variety they offer.

Actually pretty good at cooking, he'd cook for himself and his sister when his parents were busy with work.

Way smarter than he looks. If he had to take the ACT, he'd probably get a nearly perfect score.

A STEM girlie. He uses the garage as his workshop and spends most of the day there (not counting weekends).

Absolutely has a motorcycle in the garage. He rides it if he's having a low day and needs to get away. Has a special route that takes him the long way through the city before ending up at the cliff overlooking the neighborhood (the one we see in The End). Takes Reader on that route to cheer her up or clear her head. One time they fell asleep on the cliff and woke up to several calls from Edd, Tom, and Matt, who were all scared shitless.

Never gets cold. If someone comments on it, he says its "nothing compared to Norwegian cold." (The others are all tired of hearing that and roll their eyes)

Despite this, he's not dumb. He knows how to stay warm and how important it is. Will scold Reader for not wearing enough layers.

His music taste is so mixed up and wild that nobody can give it a name.

Probably reads the most out of the four, will never tell you what he's reading.

Gets angry about historical inaccuracies.

Not allowed to play Trivial Pursuit because he knows a bunch of random facts.

"Kill yourself." "This is why we can't have nice things."

Likes Super Smash Brothers and can create ass kicking combos for any character in a couple of rounds.

He works as a mechanical/chemical engineer. Works independently by taking commissions for blueprints and fixing machines for people. He mostly works at home in the garage but very rarely has to go to another location. He prefers to have the client talk to him over the phone or meet him.

Likes Liquid Death Mountain Water.

Smokes cigars occasionally, usually on special events.

Smells like smoky wood and vanilla.

Does some art every so often, but not as often as Edd.

Vibes/Aesthetic:

Red LED lights as the only light source

Night so late the entire house is silent

Sneaking out of the house to get candy and drinks at the gas station

Sleep Token playing on the drive

Anime on his laptop

Making battery acid drinks together

Fucking instead of sleeping

Athletic shorts and hoodies

Thigh high socks

Late night drives

Vape clouds and suckers

Trying to stay quiet

Playlist (Based off my Own Spotify Playlist for Him):

Sleep Token

CORPSE

Hollywood Undead

Twenty One Pilots

Kanye West

Childish Gambino

Eminem

Glass Animals

Rob Zombie

[autistic-ben-tennyson]

Benlie: Why I love these two

A lot of people in the Ben 10 fandom don’t really like this ship these days. Even back when UAF was airing, most were gushing over Gwevin and there was very little Benlie content like AMVs, fanfics or fanart. Many view Julie as a bland character and while she could have been fleshed out more, I think that’s a bit unfair as well as the idea of her being controlling, toxic or abusive. On the flip side are those that view Ben as a misogynistic incel who only saved Jennifer, Elena and Eunice to get in their pants, when he did care a lot more about Julie than some say. I am aware that there are overzealous stans who treat Benlie like the greatest romance in history and usually do it to drag down Omniverse, but many of us who still ship or enjoy it do so because we wish it could have been done better.

I like these two as a couple, partially because they’re a nice contrast to Gwen and Kevin. Gwevin was the “bad boy and smart girl” opposites attract, angst filled romance people loved. Ben and Julie by contrast are people with similar interests and personalities like Sumo Slammers, horror movies, sports and can be pretty headstrong while having a more compassionate side. Both also used “you’re not a monster, you’re better than this” to get the Dragon/Ship to come to their senses, ironically both incidents involved the Forever Knights. Friends to lovers can be overused or cliche but it can also be wholesome.

One other thing I love about these two is how they bounce off each other. Julie is someone besides Gwen who can remind Ben that there’s more to life besides being a hero, something the original Ben 10,000 struggled with and who pushes him to reign in his jerkass tendencies. Sort of like Robin and Starfire in Teen Titans. She brings out the best in him and he is aware that he’s not a great boyfriend, but he does better than most give him credit for. No hate to Benkai fans but they really brought out the worst in each other while Julie got the short end of the stick from the writers.

I also really like how she’s the one that saved him from being corrupted by the power of Dagon, keeping him from letting the power go to his head which is a nice parallel to Azmuth and Zenith. She was kind of the fourth member of the team before Rook, having helped Ben during Big Chill’s pregnancy, and helping stop the Highbreed war, Ultimate Kevin’s rampage and Ben from abusing the power of Ascalon. She also saved him twice from Elena and as well as when he got his hand cut off and was trapped in the Null Void and reassured him when his identity was leaked.

As stated above, many of us Benlie fans ship it because of its missed potential. The show should have really fleshed out their parents more as we never see them interact and Julie’s dad was shown to hate Ben in his only appearance. Julie could have staged an intervention with Carl and Sandra after the Ultimate Kevin incident and over their concerns about Ben’s fame as that arc needed more consequences. I think Julie would also have been fun to see interacting with Rook as well as the other characters Omniverse introduced.

One other reason I really like Benlie is it has a similar vibe to some of my other favorite ships like Hodaka x Hina or Connverse and it feels very animesque, which makes since as the series is quite similar to a magical girl anime. They genuinely care about each other despite their ups and downs and have a very cute vibe. I headcanon both as bisexual or biromantic given Ben’s “crush” on Nemesis and his interactions with Rook, Rex and Kevin. Julie also seems a bit queer, coming from a strict family, keeping secrets like Ship and slowly breaking out of her shell, realizing what she wants out of life.

People use them arguing or Ben screwing up as a reason it was toxic but I like seeing characters work out their issues and succeeding. They got together in AF and were fairly stable. Then conflicts arose in UA when Ben became famous and Julie began her own career in tennis, but they appear to have reconciled by the finale. Then OV could have had them as partners with Rook, having worked out their issues. Regardless of whether you like them as a couple, fans can all agree that Julie deserved better from the writers and isn’t as bad as the fandom makes her out to be. I’m aware that they were not a perfect romance but they don’t need to be for people to like them.

[hinata-uzumak1]

Wait till the Sakura Stan’s find out that Sakura doesn’t have the titles “strongest kunoichi” or “Konohas devil”

She has no titles that credit her cause she doesn’t deserve that credit. All she did was copy Tsunades feats and say she surpassed yet they don’t even make her title of strongest kunoichi canon.

“Sakura deserves better all Sasuke does is neglect her!l

No. She doesn’t deserve better, SHE had a crush on him meanwhile he was a national terrorist and tried to kill her twice. She got what she wanted and asked for so it’s her fault that even Sarada admitted that he’s never been in her life. Sakura continues to lie and act like her husband doesn’t neglect her daily, plus Sarada had the right to be concerned for her parents marriage being her father is barely there.. But what does Sakura do? Yell at her, destroy the house, and make her daughter cry.

Besides she’s a shitty character in general