Hey um, so this is actually my first time typing anything on tumblr, partially because I only got it a couple months ago (something something healing my inner child because I only managed to secretly log into Webtoons during my younger years) and I am also a chronic lurker. Alas, it is the night hours and this, combined with listening to the first episode of Mil-Liminal has moved me to emerge, if only for a moment.
Sorry, this is strange. I am typing to someone I do not know who has written so much that is so close to my heart. Something about the first episode just really hit. Maybe it’s cause of how I can relate. Maybe it’s cause listening to it felt a little too real as if maybe you or someone you knew could relate. The thought makes me really sad but also less alone. Is that messed up?
Regardless, thank you so much for everything you make. Every success you have makes me really happy, and seeing you expand over the years to now being able to hear “Caro’s” voice after imagining it for so long- just awesome. Now if I may impose my nagging that I give to my friends upon you, please take care of yourself, make space and recognize the inherent worth you have, know that rest is necessary and you do not need to earn it, and thank you for everything you have done for the community and for all the dark times of my life you have lighted.
Hey, Hi. Even as a person who literally writes for a living, I'm always at a loss for words. Thank you. Thank you for summoning courage and coming out of the shadows for a second to send me this message. I want you to know it moved me to tears (don't worry, crying's healthy.)
It's not messed up to feel less alone by listening to my stories, because you're right. Almost everything I write, I have experienced in some kinda way. That includes breaking free from control, running away, and living in my car and suddenly not knowing who the hell I even was (not from my parents though, as in Caro's case.) My writing is and has always been a way to process and express my own grief, healing, yearning, and wishing, identity, and sexuality. The fact that it can hit other people who might be going through or went through similar things actually makes it even more worth while to me. And you don't need to be sad for the things I've gone through, because it brought me here. Almost middle-aged, the bad times feel like an old nightmare I can barely remember, Breathing, Heart beating, ALIVE and with stories to tell, and if I'm lucky, some hope to share. Cuz there is hope, and don't you forget that.
Thank you again, from the very bottom of my heart. This whole message is really so special to me in the deepest most profound way possible. I want to reply to the last paragraph with something great to say, you know what I mean? Words are hard though. So instead I'll thank you again, and I'll ask that you have that same grace for yourself too, and leave you with a little drawing of a kid figuring out their life, even though they feel really lost right now, the wonderful thing about Caro's story is that we already know it's going to be ok one day.
-RJ
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Even when he went home that night, Impulse couldn't stop thinking about the mer he'd found.
It was one thing to find him washed up on the beach just outside, but it was another entirely to try and think about what the next while would look like, taking care of the merdude.
Zedaph was still at the rescue, and would be until either he or Skizz could get back. Impulse didn't want to chance anyone else finding out about the literal merman sitting in one of the recovery pools. They'd have to tell Xisuma eventually, probably sooner than Impulse might like to, but, well.
He didn't know what might happen if the rest of the rescue caught word of this, let alone the internet.
Impulse sighed, running a hand through his hair. Who knew that following Skizz down to the beach that fated dayyears ago would lead to-- well. This.
Either way, he needed to clean up, get some food, and then get some sleep. Zed wasn't a stranger to pulling all-nighters, so it wasn't odd for him to stay at the rescue, but still. Impulse wouldn't quite be able to breathe easy until he could see the mercreature again.
In the morning, Impulse grabbed a green tea for Zedaph on his way back to the rescue, handing it off with a bagel to the man as they 'swapped shifts'.
"Anything change during the night?" Impulse asked, shifting his weight from foot to foot.
"Nope. You should probably bring it some food though. Try fish, maybe? I bet it'd take that." Zedaph shrugged, taking a sip of his tea, "I'd use tongs though, wouldn't want those fangs to take a bite out of you."
"I'll be careful, Zed, don't worry." Impulse shook his head, "You should go get some sleep."
"Yep. Gotta finish up first, then it's off to bed with me."
"You better." Impulse called over his shoulder as he stepped out, going to grab a pair of tongs and some food for the merdude.
When he stepped into the recovery room, what Impulse found made him pause. Well-- it was more what he was hearing. The mer was chirping. It wasn't s loud that it could be heard outside of the room, but it certainly filled it, bouncing off the hard surfaces. To Impulse it sounded like a slurred mix of a dying fire alarm on fast forward and a baby dolphin calling for help.
Impulse stepped up to the edge of the pool, setting the pail down as he took in the sight.
The mer was curled up the best he could with all the bandages and the cast on his wrist, warbling. His eyes were glazed over, seemingly staring at nothing. His fins were all pinned tight to his body, like he was trying to hide.
The last thing Impulse wanted to do was startle an injured sea creature with fangs that looked like they could bite someone's finger clean off. So, he grabbed a catch pole from over against the wall, and dipped the end into the water next to the merman, nudging it against his tail.
Impulse was instantly glad that he hadn't stuck his hand into the water.
The mer lunged-- grabbing the pole with a screech and a splash and almost yanking it out of Impulse's hands.
He pulled it from the water a moment later, once the mer let go.
Impulse's jaw just about hit the floor, once he saw the bite marks. This particular brand of pole was made to withstand a bite from a shark. But now it was--
If that had been Impulse's hand, he would have just lost at least a couple fingers.
At least.
He was going to have to show this to Zedaph.
Well then. At least he had gotten the mer's attention, it was practically glaring at him now. Was that-- hissing? It was hard to tell with the distortion from water to air, but the way that tail was coiled--
The mer looked like a snake ready to strike.
Maybe feeding it would help with the situation? Impulse took the tongs and grabbed a fish from his bucket, slowly offering it until the fish touched the surface of the water. The mer's eyes narrowed, watching. It's mouth parted slightly-- was it able to smell it in the water? It wasn't reaching up to grab it.
So, Impulse gave the fish a little shake, before dropping it. And just in time, too.
Again, the mer lunged, snatching up the offending object. Impulse watched as it bit down on the fish, before seeming to realize that it was food.
Impulse let the mer eat for a moment, before dropping another fish into the pool. This was progress, at least. If it was eating, that meant it had a chance.
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