#suppressed emotions

[touch-starved-lurker]

something something the enormity of my desire and the impossibility of properly expressing it something something

[zoomar]

How to manage your emotions...

and lead a healthier, happier life

[agentrouka-blog]

"When he thought of his daughters, he would have wept gladly, but the tears would not come. Even now, he was a Stark of Winterfell, and his grief and his rage froze hard inside him."- Ned(AGOT XV). "She ought to be crying too, she thought, but the tears would not come. Perhaps she had used up all her tears for Lady and Bran."- Sansa(AGOT II). Both Ned and Sansa are dealing with grief similarly yet Sansa is called psycho.

Hi anon!

Both of them feel their emotions very deeply. We know that Sansa cried herself to sleep every night for a fortnight over Lady and the events of the Trident, and  she likely did the same over Bran's injury before that. 

That's an exhausting loss of control, and one their society unfortunately has limited tolerance for. GRRM wants us to look at both of them and worry. 

When Sansa compares herself to Jeyne Poole's reaction earlier at the tourney, it's a little disparaging (”She was made of sterner stuff.”), but her composure reveals itself as something questionable even to herself later when Ser Hugh dies. Her natural reaction, which should match Jeyne’s is being suppressed. Because she has a duty to perform according to the expectations placed on her, but more probably because she doesn't want her emotions to take over again because it's so hard to wade out of for her. Because she had, ultimately, no support in her grief. She is already used to the mechanism of suppressing her feelings at this point in time, to a degree. 

We see her grief after Ned's death absolutely take over again, until she is forced out of it and we watch her reassemble her “lady’s armor” for the rest of her final chapter. Sansa has to maintain her composure at all times in order to protect herself and plot for her own escape at the same time. There are absurdly few moments when she can allow herself access to her feelings, lest they overwhelm her. 

It is absolutely like Ned. :(

When Ned remembers the Tower of Joy, he too remembers being overtaken by grief in a way that rendered him almost incapable of anything else, so overcome he erased the memory. 

Ned remembered the way she had smiled then, how tightly her fingers had clutched his as she gave up her hold on life, the rose petals spilling from her palm, dead and black. After that he remembered nothing. They had found him still holding her body, silent with grief. The little crannogman, Howland Reed, had taken her hand from his. Ned could recall none of it.

 (AGOT, Eddard I)

Everything about what happened there tends to be shrouded in snapshots, individualized imagery, small specific details burned into his mind. We get no coherent memory from him about the events surrounding the annihilation of his whole family outside Benjen. It’s too much for him to even trace with that kind of distance. There was no room for properly grieving, for letting emotion take over, due to his station and duty, and due to his secrets. (Or so he thought, anyway.) He, too, tries to evade feeling these emotions, and he has years and years of practice, to the point where the relief of tears has become completely inaccessible to him. He wants to weep. He can't now. 

It's reflected in Catelyn too, who wants a moment just to grieve but can never let herself, can't even let Robb do it, because there is no room in their world for it. It's crippling, they disintegrate under the pressure. Her tears become a horrendous permanent fixture when she dies and rises as Lady Stoneheart.

GRRM gives us the image of Alyssa's Tears, and his thematic preoccupation with suppressed trauma in his characters suggests he has A Point To Make about the importance of allowing room for grief and weakness, no matter how terrifying and debilitating and undignified it may feel in the moment.

Pretty sure that's a theme connected to the Wall as well. That Wall of Ice warded with magic to keep out a mysterious ancient enemy, who raises what should be dead. Ancient secrets, ancient anger, ancient grief.

I have a very strong feeling that the image of shared, open grief, of tears and festering wounds being allowed to open and drain, is going to be very prominent in the upcoming books. 

[unwelcome-ozian]

[eljayetc]

[odelia-i]

[tiredsleepywriter]

Gentlemen

They met in the New York Club; a gentlemen's club for the elite.

For years, he had always thought something was wrong with his brain when it came to romance and sex. When he met Peter Parker, everything changed.

These feelings would not go away, and no matter how hard he tried to stay away, he kept coming back.

But he wasn't gay. They were just messing around... right?

Again, not much motivation but a ton of creative energy and thats what counts. I'd love feedback and dm if you'd like anything taken down. I can't credit the photos.

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

I think when my great-grandma told me to ‘hate the sin, but love the sinner’, the context was foster care. Though to be honest, after foster care is a blurry time even for me. I just know she didn't like me remaining angry at those people, even though it really was justified.

Since then, of course, most of the people around me essentially taught me that my pain and anger are not important enough to make a stink about. So I learned to bottle it all up and suppress it. It's gone on for over twenty years now, and I don't really know how to handle it yet. I'm actually still afraid of it, because it's gone on for so long just festering and is like an inferno now.

I fucking hate the impact of Christianity on the concept of forgiveness (more specifically where it entirely took over the people's culture). Because of the existence of fundamentalism, our cultural hegemony has a really toxic view of it. They say you absolutely have to forgive those who hurt you, even if they never change their behavior. Because supposedly, it shows how good and ‘pure’ you are to just let that shit go. Basically just pretend it never happened, God/Jesus will make it all better. If you don't forgive everyone, you're not saved.

No. No, no, and no! Absolutely not! Fuck that shit.

I don't have to forgive anyone who doesn't actually want to do better. There was one thing my youngest uncle said shortly after I graduated high school, and he was right, actually (tragic, the worst person you know actually has a point; this is just me being bitter and sarcastic about it, you can absolutely just ignore this bit that's struck out if you want). Just saying sorry doesn't always cut it (I don't think he totally understood the implications of that, but he said it either way). So no, I don't have to do jack fucking shit if they never actually want to change for the better.

With all that said, for some, if they did change their attitudes and behaviors, I would gladly have back in my life. I miss my cousins dearly, they basically became my siblings. I hate being the family villain, shunned for ultimately landing that specific uncle in prison for abusing me. But ultimately, it's their choice if we come back together, not mine.

-Galaco ☄️😺

[labyrinth-of-my-mind-j]

HEALING is really just letting yourself feel.

It is unearthing your traumas and embarrassments and losses and allowing yourself the emotions that you could not have in the moment that you were having those experiences. It's letting yourself filter and process what you had to suppress at the time to keep going, maybe even to survive.

We all fear that our feelings are too big, especially in the moment we're actually having them. We were taught not to be too loving, we'd get hurt; not too smart, we'd get bullied; too fearful, we'd be vulnerable. To be compliant with what other people wanted us to feel. As kids we were punished for crying out if our emotional experience wasn't in accordance with our parents' convenience. (No wonder we still respond the way we do.)

#101Essaysthatwillchangethewayyouthink

[helenwhiteart-blog]

A TMS breakthrough

Last week, for me, was nothing short of astonishing. We were on holiday for a week in the place we are moving to just as soon as the legalities are through so it was, in a sense, a taster of our future life. We also attended a four day music festival, which is one hell of a stretch for someone who had her most recent flare-up of ME/CFS just a few short months ago. I had not attempted anything so…

[thebluesky-that-loves]

You asked me to delete my feelings time and time again , And I allowed it. You wanted to constantly take away any platform I could be me and I allowed it. Yet I still write about my light love about you instead of the dark things that occupied the same space. Never again not today.

[while-my-guitar-gently-sleeps]

"Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways."

~Sigmund Freud

[the-healing-mindset]

Great way to start the day.

[nvcmc]

The rain is pouring, but all I hear is my cry

brought by the pain that lasts and never seems to die.

How does one get by?

Red flags planted, emotions overshadowed it

now, I suffer as I took the hit

because you want to split.

Do “I” deserve the ache?

When the emotions, the time, and the investment aren’t a piece of cake,

Ohh, wait! Do “I” even have a take?

On the month of May

I thought I let it all swayed,

but only got dismayed.

Months have passed

and things are like a broken glass

I even wished we don’t cross paths.

An afternoon coffee that’s freshly brewed

feeling hopeful and renewed,

but it only made me blue.

As I got a glimpse of you, when I only want to bid you adieu.

Neive MC.

Sept 19, '22

[thecleverconfidante]

Daring to Care

There is nothing more risky than pretending not to care. I gravitate towards this pretense of not caring. I struggle with vulnerability, often tempted to conceal my true feelings and emotions. I am tempted to convince myself that being impassive is to be strong. To be impassive is to be safe. Though I crave connection, past traumas have instilled in me a reluctance to invest too deeply,…

[anxietyfrappuccino]

even when i'm angry, i don't speak ill. i deserve to put a plague out