#tag for personal posts and stuff

[eowyntheavenger]

This is so fucked up. The place where I work legally exists again, but they don’t have enough money to pay us our salaries, so we are functionally unemployed — but we can’t collect unemployment benefits now.

[inkskinned]

i'm a little afraid to go to pride this year. many of us are, a little. sitting around our tapas and video games, the silence that hangs over the discord server. it feels different, we say.

we're privileged. the community that came before us laid the groundwork so i could be raised in a different world, and i will never forget their sacrifices and dedication. they gave us this: a pride that feels like community and celebration and joy. i remember the first few times i went to a queer event - i'd been raised so catholic. feeling safe like that, for the first time... it saved my life. i go to pride to celebrate that feeling - my people, laughing. out in the sun, the way we couldn't have been even 25 years ago. that feeling: no wonder we call it "pride."

who am i to be afraid anyway. there are parts of the world where people are doing much better work than i am. but it's just: i felt at home there, you know? and this year feels different. we are waiting on the dam to break. last year, at boston pride, there was a whole gaggle of sign-holders shouting about jesus. you walk around them and try not to let it get to you.

this year, i'm going to DC's pride with my girlfriend. google sends me concerns about if it's safe to exist in trump's america, if World Pride is a bigass target on all of us. every article uses the words "safety concerns" many, many times. three days ago i witnessed a shooting.

even straight people keep telling me - people are weird lately. sometimes we blame it on Covid and sometimes we blame it on the full moon. but i do remember a time before this, right. it's not just that people are more comfortable being rude. it's this strange, outwards violence. a comfort in being cruel.

it's a big hole to fall down anyway. it's not like they're going to do anything to make pride safe, not really. i don't want a police presence as the solution. and what if this is just fearmongering! what if this is just to get us to stop attending our own events! what if everything is actually fine, and i'm just freaked out by the stated intentions of our president!

and what if i'm just listening to things that are being said. what if i'm weighing the shape and size of this america accurately.

my mother calls me. she's been getting the articles too. i assure her i'll be careful, but i put the phone down and stare at it. i'm going to go to pride. other people made it safe for me, it is my duty and my honor to show up for my community. the only thing we've ever had was each other. it was always an act of bravery. being ourselves is brave.

but i am afraid. i lay out my outfit and i kiss my girlfriend. i cut my nails and clean up my undercut. i hold her hand and hang the sunset flag. the sound of this america feels different. like a volcano trembling. i will love her and i will love being queer and i will sing over the noise of it.

but ... still. in the back of my mind. that feeling, like something terrible has been shifted. like somewhere in the night - they remembered we're different.

[unknowinglydeceasedlol]

I genuinely mourn the person I could have been.

[tear-stained-lenses]

*No reply*

Oh so you want me to kill myself?

[bixels]

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

[ministarfruit]

look alive, 2025! femslash february prompt list drop, hot and fresh from the oven. sorry it's late everybody but we are yuri-ing out this year again don't worry ✌️

full prompt list under the cut!

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2025 (THEME: CHECKLIST)

I want you to:

See me

Heal me

Kiss me

Hate me

Kill me

Love me

Hold me

Leave me

Feed me

Trust me

Be me

Find me

Treat me

Save me

Please:

Forget me

Ruin me

Marry me

Remember me

Sing with me

Dance with me

Bring me to life

Trick me

Fight me

Understand me

Lie to me

Sit with me

Be here for me

Be mine

For anyone clicking into this who is not aware, Femslash February is a month of creating content of women loving women! Anything can be made for any day and there are no restrictions as long as it's sapphic. Please make sure to tag warnings and R18 content appropriately. That's all! Thank you! See you February!

[turtledotjpeg]

[saywha413]

i love you headcanons. i love you rarepairs. i love you crackships. i love you self inserts. i love you kinsonas. i love you ocs. i love you selfshipping. i love you oc x canon. i love you x reader. i love you aus. i love y

[xxplastic-cubexx]

graph

bonus:

[m1ckeyb3rry]

“anri cares about the blue lock boys” “anri is like a mother/sister figure to the blue lock boys” “anri is kind to the blue lock boys” meanwhile this is anri with kunigami:

SHE DOES NOTTTTT GAF ABOUT THEM 😭 they are a means to an end for her!! obviously she doesn’t hate them and of course she was happy they beat the u20s but let’s think critically here…was she truly proud of them as people or was she just happy that the program wouldn’t be shut down??

the narrative (especially via her interactions with ego) treats anri as someone very naive and dumb, but blue lock and hiring ego were HER idea. everything that has happened to the boys is a direct consequence of HER actions, decisions, and dreams of japan winning a world cup. let’s not forget she’s also only 3 years older than aiku, kaiser, and sendou — she has no interest in taking care of a bunch of insane high-school-aged soccer freaks, she literally just wants her country to win the wc because she herself is a soccer freak!!

[eowyntheavenger]

Applied to a job today which is offering way less than my former salary because there are no jobs in my field 🙃

[galoogamelady]

Hey I saw you deleted most of your stuff off twitter. Just wanna check it isnt gone forever right?

Like it's on here ans insta right?

😞 because i love your art it's incredible and I'd hate for it to be lost because of a rat.

I didn't delete my account, but I deleted all my posts because while I don't expect to return there, I also don't want bots to take over my account or scammers impersonating me. I'm afraid those posts are gone for good, but pretty much all of the art I posted there was posted here too. This blog is my most complete "gallery" of everything I've posted online.

The only twitter exclusive shitpost I miss is that one Cyberpunk screenshot of the guy with the HUGE ass. But I did download my archive before nuking the account, so it should be here somewhere... Just haven't had the time to go through it all.

[vague-ontology]

Be cursed with my horrible spamtenninas suggestive but not explicit evil spamtenna sex under the cut

[tear-stained-lenses]

“I love you.”

No you don't.

[maladapt3d]

The devil couldn't reach me so he gave me severe abondamment and attachment issues

[babacontainsmultitudes]

RIP Will Campos the only person who was murdered this episode.