#that some of us are struggling to pay for groceries and gas and rent

[rosicheeks]

🎶 !

🎶Contemplating whether I can keep my Netflix

My card declined today just tryna buy my breakfast

And every time I check my bank account I get sick

My bills are high like Everest, I just need to get rich🎶

[sirfrogsworth]

Looking Forward

If I trust my brother... and he did my dad's will properly... and set up my trust correctly... then I should be able to stay in the house for roughly 2 years.

If I trust my brother.

Then I can either sell the house and use that money for a small apartment or try to find a roommate situation to help me stay in the house a little longer. The nice thing about paying the mortgage is I can get most of that money back if I ever do sell the house. It's almost like a savings account with all my stuff inside.

Let's just hope the property value doesn't plummet for some reason. Though it has been around the same amount for many years.

I like living in my house. It's what I've known for 30 years. But being alone in the house is going to be a hard adjustment. After two years (or sooner) I may want to move near Katrina or Delling so I am closer to a support system. I wish we could all live next door to each other. Or live on a farm/ranch situation. And instead of chickens it is just a bunch of free range corgis.

I tried convincing Katrina to build a pool house, but she has a small backyard and no pool. HOWEVER... Apparently Florida has a lot of "mother-in-law suites." I had no idea that had a name, but I could be Katrina's mother-in-law. I have the skill set to guilt trip, make passive-aggressive comments, and judge how she raises her future kids. (And any other outdated stereotypes I've learned from 80s comedians.)

But I also like the idea of having a roommate. I could accommodate a single person or a small family. And I'd love to have an animal of some kind around. We have a huge fenced-in area left over from Otis.

I think I could offer someone a pretty sweet living situation. I have a full basement apartment that I reside in and so the entire upstairs is available for people to live in. I could charge cheaper rent than a cheap apartment in exchange for helping with chores that I struggle to do.

There is plenty of furniture and appliances ready to use. Full laundry room. I've got a really nice home theater in the living room so they can watch movies in style. I also have a few hundred TV series and several thousand movies on Plex. They get a full kitchen and bathroom to themselves. Plenty of garage space and a long driveway to park vehicles. They can have up to 5 rooms to do whatever in. They could do 3 bedrooms, a living room, a kitchen, and a small den area. My mom liked the den because she could watch her Judge Judy shows while my dad watched JAG in the living room.

If they don't have a family, they could convert 2 of the bedrooms into office space or craft rooms or S&M dungeons. They can decorate any way they'd like. But they have to keep the sex swing clean so I can use it. Not for sex--I just enjoy centripetal forces. And they'll have great privacy as I will be in the downstairs apartment. They'd only see me if I exit the house or if they invite me to dinner or movie night.

All they would have to pay is whatever I can't cover. I'd estimate in the $600-$800 range once the trust fund runs out. Plus the chores like cleaning and yard duty. That's a good deal, right?

The only downside is the house is in a deteriorating neighborhood. Businesses are closing and people are moving away. Our street is pretty isolated so there isn't much danger or crime. But we are adjacent to a dangerous neighborhood and the schools aren't great. That said, while there isn't much around here, in St. Louis you are always ~25 minutes from anything you need. The highway is literally down the street so driving to anywhere is fairly hassle free.

Also, I'd be happy to lend out the car for transport to a job. I'll only need it to get groceries every few weeks. They'd have to get added to my insurance and help with gas and maintenance.

Soooo... yeah, I think I have a lot to offer with my house.

They do have to be okay with my big subwoofer rattling things. The sound doesn't really travel through the floor, but the vibrations can. I can tone it down if they are sleeping though.

Oh! We also have a huge workshop on the property too. It could be used for working on cars or woodworking or an art space. It has electricity, lighting, heating and is perfect for anything that requires getting dirty. If that makes sense.

One idea I have been considering is seeking out an unhoused queer individual who was kicked out or is struggling to afford a decent place. If their parents don't want them, maybe I could provide a safe place. Things are so scary for LGBTQ+ folks right now. Especially in Missouri. St. Louis is a pretty blue city, but Missouri is a blood red state. If I could do something small for someone like that, I would be happy to help. Could be mutually beneficial.

So those are all of my thoughts and ideas as of now.

Again, if I trust my brother, I should have a decent amount of time to figure things out.

If things go sideways, I might be screwed.

So far he seems to be doing all the things he should be doing to get me sorted.

I'm going to choose to trust him.

With my life.

Oof.

[megatron-moving-to-megatron]

How tf is your credit score almost 800

ive had a credit card for like 4 years with a fairly high limit ($5,000) and ive used it for various emergencies such as car repairs and bills/rent during rough patches, and i use it for gas/groceries whether im financially struggling or not. and i always pay it off as soon as i possibly can, even if its something small ill pay with my credit card and then just pay it off instantly. another important factor is to never ever EVER spend more than 1/3 of the total limit of the credit card because beyond that point it can actually make your credit worse. ALSO my first ever car was an absolute shitbox 1988 oldsmobile that i purchased using a 2 year personal loan from my bank and paid off in 1 year. and i purchased my current 2015 chevy cruze using an auto loan from my bank and i put double payments towards that loan whenever my budget allows it. if u want a good credit score you just gotta work with your bank and not be too afraid of debt because some debt is beneficial and proves that youre a trustworthy borrower in case you ever need to take out a very large loan for a home/car/emergency

[crazybishthoughts]

What living in America looks like..

Some days i wish i lived in another country, one that has their people in mind.. Were like the only country that literally charges an arm an a leg for EVERYTHING that is needed to be successful an thriving.

Min wage - between $7.25- $15 (depending on the state, some states have increased to $19 )

(Only allowed to work certain amount of hours)

Now let's do some math ...

Daycare costs - $800+ (a week per child)

Groceries - $160+ a week (organic add an extra $50-100)

Gas - $4+ a gallon

Health insurance- $300+ (wanna add family member add an extra couple $100)

Car insurance - $200+ (want to add a person, add a vehicle $200+)

Home insurance - $200+ (wanna add storm coverage, fire coverage, water damage $100+)

Life insurance - $100+ (want a higher sum , pay more)

Rent / mortgage - $1600+ for a 1 bd / $2000+ for a 2bd or higher

Electric / gas - $200 +

W/s/g - $80+

Phone service - $100+ (add a line 20-40+)

Internet - $80+

Wanna move somewhere - $5000+ (deposit, last, security, must have good credit)

And then they wonder why us as Americans are STRUGGLING to make ends meet. Why so many are homeless. Why so many are starving. Why so many barley scrape by each week.. why so many choose one bill over the other to pay some months, why some can only afford rent. 🤔 because THE AMERICAN GOVERNMENT DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ITS PEOPLE.

[bmwiid]

Could your roommate at least pay their part of utilities, gas, electricity, internet? Or groceries? Because it is simply not fair otherwise, just mooching. Yes, some people have less money than others, but I had relatives who lived with other people in hard times and they paid for the groceries and electricity (and when they finished university and got a job, slowly paid them back some rent) One even did all of the laundry and cleaning when between jobs because he did not have money but had the time (and needed to be busy, was happiest doing a task)

She had to leave home under bad circumstances and I live on the motto of "you'll never be homeless unless I'm homeless"

We agreed that once she was back on her feet she'd pay rent, and rent would cover everything except food. She can use my car and rent would also cover adding her to my car insurance. I'm not asking for a lot (£250) just enough to cover the fact it's more expensive on bills. I thought that was really reasonable?

However, since then she's had two holidays overseas, bought herself a LOT of things that all add up (I know how much £5 here and £20 there can add up to a lot because I'm super guilty of that!!) and is having her boyfriend visit her for a weekend in town and then he'll be staying here - and she'll be taking the car all that weekend and she didn't even ask if that was okay.

I know I'm not the best person to live with - I'm not the neatest but I hire a cleaner twice a month to off set that (I did this before she moved in, for my mental health) and I have 5 cats which I know is a lot an annoys her, but I feel like what I asked for was reasonable taking those things into account.

And then I feel guilty about asking her for money because she says "I'm so poor and I feel so bad!!" all the time and I KNOW she's struggling!

I just feel like.... I don't know.... A mixture of guilt for feeling annoyed with her, and anger over that feeling of being used?

But I'm also a coward who hates confrontation and I'm used to putting other people first from growing up with mum.

[vannahfanfics]

I just wanna take a moment to express my gratitude to the folks who have commissioned me! Just in the last week, I’ve gotten more commissions than probably the entirety I’ve had them, and it just means so much than y’all know. I haven’t really made this real public knowledge, but part of the reason I am reviving commissions is because I honestly need it. I’m placing the details under the cut, just because I’m not really trying to take advantage of the popularity in commissions to spin a sob story, but just because I want y’all to know what kind of impact y’all can have on a creator when you support them. 

But the point of this post is to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has commissioned thus far and those who may yet do so. I’m working hard to get back to the level of content I was putting out pre-medical school, and I know I’ve got a lot to do, but the support from everyone since I started my humble little circle of RarePair Hell means more than y’all could ever realize. One month of the year is already over, and I’m looking forward to creating more wonderful things that you all enjoy! 

From the bottom of my heart, thank you all!

Now, to dive into why I’m compelled to write this little love letter to everyone at all: 

TBH, this third year has been a financial struggle for me; I am living in a rather expensive apartment by virtue of a severe availability shortage where I live, and it was either sign a lease with this place or face a potentially rocky living situation with my parents (details I will not go into here). I am only getting by because I take the maximum amount of student loans I can every year (I am already $250,000 in debt with a year to go, and that is without debt from my undergraduate degree!), and there’s rumors that my rent may increase substantially come August. I can’t afford to move then, and then move again for residency the upcoming year, so I’m pretty much stuck. 

Even with me taking all these student loans, I had to pull the entirety of my savings just to pay bills in the three weeks between the loan checks over December/January because, when divided evenly between the months, these stipends really don’t go far. It is even worse this semester; we get paid one lump sum every August and January, and the balance is not skewed toward the amount of months. The same amount covers August-December (5 months) as January-August (8 months). After bills, to try and put back money to replenish my savings, I am living on pretty much $1000 a month right now. Which, let me tell you, does not go far these days. It’s more than some people have, and I am definitely grateful that I have it. But it’s still hard. 

I have to pay for my boards soon, which will probably be hundreds of dollars, if not over a thousand—for one national standardized test that we have to take to graduate, mind you! Next year will be even worse because the medical school does not pay for any of the travel rotations that we do; all of the expenses are shouldered by us. I don’t know if any appeals for financial aid will bear fruit. I know for a fact that financial lability is going to limit my opportunities, which will in turn limit my opportunities for residency. To say that I am stressing about the future is an understatement. 

I’ve never been the type to ask for money, especially from online strangers, and again, me outlining my recent financial struggles isn’t a ploy to get more. But I want y’all to be aware of what y’all have unknowingly done. Seeing those e-mails from Ko-fi roll in over the last few days has moved me to tears. The fact that people enjoy my writing enough to give me their hard-earned money—when, universally, we are probably all struggling—warms me to my core. Y’all’s commissions gave me the reassurance that I have more to spend on gas or groceries this month, or have a small sum that I can put into my savings to use for traveling next school year, or have a little extra padding if something happens. 

I know I can’t make this into a side hustle like fanartists can thanks to the gray legality of monetizing fanfiction, and I don’t want to lock my regular fanfiction behind a paywall, anyhow. I write for the love of it and to make people happy, not to make money—even if it would be more beneficial to me to do so. Anyway, I know this boom in commissions probably won’t last. 

But for one month, you guys made my life a little easier. Genuinely, thanks for that. You didn’t know I needed it. I didn’t either. And I’m just really full of love right now. 

[beyblaiddyd]

I don't want to be mean to my mom because she's going through a really rough mental health time right now but at the same time I cannot keep playing the part of her mother I am going to explode. Like every time we've talked for the last 3 months it's been about her fucking piss idiot stupid ass boyfriend who she keeps telling me shes breaking up with then "secretly" going back to despite him being a piece of shit that all of us hate. No interest in my life at all like has fully forgotten I'm an independent person and not her sounding board slash ATM machine. And we're struggling with money because she quit her incredibly stable job to go back into serving at a restaurant that wont fucking schedule her hours but that she wont quit for some reason and it's like I know $13 isn't that much at the end of the day but girl our electric bill has a cutoff notice rent is coming up again soon I still have $1000 of care credit debt to pay off because of our dogs dying on top of $600 of credit card debt because of a purchase for shit She needed all of our bills are skyrocketing in price and so are groceries and gas and I desperately need to get my car inspection and registration in check but cant afford it on top of the scary medical issues I'm having that I cannot afford to investigate further so forgive me ma'am if I do not want to indulge your alcoholism and buy you beer out of my fucking savings account. Smiles

[mariacallous]

The Czech Republic is facing one of the highest annual inflation rates in the European Union, with a 17 per cent increase in the cost of living, caused by the crisis with Moscow. It has revealed the country’s heavy reliance on Russian gas, as prices soar and consumers struggle to pay their bills. Growing poverty has fed into discontent among Czech voters, who are looking to the far-right Freedom and Direct Democracy party (SPD) for answers.

Czechs are suffering

Euronews reporter Bryan Carter visited Prague to meet some of the people suffering as a result of the rising cost of living.

Viera Dobrocka, an unemployed mother of a nine-month-old baby, was left with no option other than to move into social housing for single mothers after high food and energy costs meant she could no longer pay her bills.

I’ve lived in Prague for a long time. But now that the prices have increased so much, simply paying rent, groceries and basic things for the little one became unbearable for us. So we had to come live in this social house.

The nation’s elderly is also vulnerable. Dezider Galbavy, who lives on a pension of 500 euros per month, told Euronews that the situation is “outrageous” and that he is “scared” of temperatures dropping this winter.

I don't know how this will go on, but half of the republic won't be able to afford it. It's bad now already. People will heat with whatever they can. They will heat even with tires. That's how it will end.

With bills rising dramatically, people like Dezider will be forced to rely on burning wood and coal rather than turning on their heating, but even that is running out.

The impact on Czech business

Rising energy costs also have a knock-on effect on businesses, which could mean that many Czech workers lose their jobs.

Petr Novosad, Director of Harrachov Glassworks, said that his 300-year-old establishment relies heavily upon gas for its furnaces, so he is feeling the pinch.

Last year, the cost of gas for us represented about 10% of our total cost. But this year, the energy already takes more than 50% of the total costs of our products. So for example our consumption in August was almost the same as it was last year, but our gas bill is ten times higher.

He told Euronews that if this trend continues, he will have to cut the number of employees at the glassworks, which currently provides the paychecks for around a hundred families.

The Czech Government’s answer

Increasing hardship since the beginning of September has led to thousands of Czechs protesting on the streets, calling for the government’s resignation, and heavily criticizing the European Union and NATO.

While many demand a gas deal with Russia, the government instead announced a series of economic measures in a televised address.

Prime Minister Petr Fiala outlined caps on energy prices for households, self-employed people, and small and medium-sized businesses, as well as providers of public services.

Political impact

Energy has dominated the political agenda, with the SPD tripling its number of local mandates nationwide after the municipal elections held at the end of September.

Disillusionment with the current government, combined with a mistrust of the main opposition leader, Andrej Babiš, who is facing fraud charges, has created fertile ground for the SPD to gain popularity, as it has been campaigning for gas negotiations with Moscow.

The party’s leader, Tomio Okamura, has come under fire for his views on the European Union and multiculturalism, as well as his provocative marks about Muslims.

He claimed that he is not “xenophobic” as some would suggest, but that he opposes the European Union's stance on migration, saying that it results in an "inability to help people during a crisis".

[mochibdsm]

personal budget categories

Quick Tips:

It’s helpful to write out your expenses from the previous month to see how much money goes into each budget category.

Don’t forget to keep your calendar handy too, so you’re reminded of the birthday parties or other events that will require a budget category.

You may also consider saving a little each month for some of these budget categories, so when the payment is due you aren’t scrambling to find the money.

Use this Budget Printable to easily keep track of all your expenses.

Budget Categories

Income

It is important to break out all of your income individually rather than just including a lump sum. Include your take home income after taxes, health insurance, etc. If you have an irregular income, list the least amount you expect to earn. Anything extra can be used for savings or to pay off debt.

Paycheck

Predictable Bonus

Investment income:

Rental property

Earned interest

Expenses

Housing

Housing is typically the largest budget item in most budgets.This category includes everything related to owning or renting your home, not just your rent or your mortgage.

Mortgage/Rent

Household repairs

HOA Dues

Renters Insurance

Property Taxes

Household repairs

Large Appliances (washer, refrigerator etc)

Education/Childcare

This can also be another big category for many families. Beyond any tuition or daycare costs, don’t forget to include any required registration fees for the upcoming school year.

Private School Tuition

College Tuition

Before/After School Care

Summer Camp

Registration Fees

School Supplies

Tutoring

Daycare

School Lunch

Babysitter

Private lessons – dance class, sports

School Field Trips

Alimony

Utilities

These are typically what we consider essential budget items, so don’t leave them off your list. If you are behind on utility payments, this should be one of the first late bills (after housing) you should work towards getting current on.

Water

Electricity

Natural Gas

Trash

Cable

Internet

Cell phone bill

Transportation

Beyond just paying for gas for your car, there are additional transportation costs you may need to consider. A few of these include:

Toll payments

Public transportation fare (subway, bus or train)

Gas

Car maintenance- oil changes, tires etc/

Parking Fees

Registration/DMV Fees

Pets

We love them and treat them as another member of our families. But there are unique costs our pets incur that you will need to include in your budget.

Grooming

Pet Food

Pet accessories – kitty litter etc

Veterinary Visits

Food

We all need food and this tends to be a budget category that many people struggle with. To make sure you properly allocate enough funds in this category break out what food you realistically will need to purchase.

Groceries

Eating Out

Coffee/Quick bites

Debt

This can be a scary category to tackle.  Include the monthly minimum payment for all debts, unless you are able to pay more than the minimum.

Student loan

Credit Card Payments

Car Payment

Miscellaneous Debt (furniture, electronics etc)

Gifts

This is the time to look at your calendar and see what, if any, gifts you’ll need to purchase this month. From birthday presents to end of the year gifts for teachers, you won’t have to stress about the costs if you plan ahead and include it in your budget.

Birthday Gifts

Anniversary Gifts

Holiday Gifts

Teacher Gifts

Personal Care

This category includes both personal care necessities as well as the extras.

Toiletries

Haircuts

Hair Color

Gym Membership

Clothing

Shoes

Household items

Any regularly used household item goes into this category.

Laundry Detergent

Dishwasher Detergent

Cleaning Supplies

Napkins/paper towels/toilet paper

Small appliances (toaster, microwave etc)

Emergency Kits/Hurricane Preparedness etc

Insurance

We all need some kind of insurance. If you find this to be an expensive category, reach out to your insurance company to see if you can re-negotiate your rates.

Homeowners Insurance/Renters Insurance

Car Insurance

Life Insurance

Health Insurance

Dental Insurance

Health Care

Medications

Medical Devices

First Aid Items

Doctor’s Visits

Senior Care

Entertainment

Anything you do for fun can be included in this category.

Subscriptions

Movie Theater Tickets

Outings

Electronics

Netflix

Savings

Make savings a priority by including this in your budget. It’s easy to say you’ll just save whatever is left over. This is a recipe to failure. Don’t leave this important budget category off!

Savings

Emergency fund

Tithing/Giving

Retirement

Kids college savings

Vacation fund

Miscellaneous

This category is for anything else that doesn’t fit into the above categories.

Bank fees

Credit Card Fees

Professional Dues

State and Federal Taxes (if you are self employed)

Anything else!

[calmjourney-org]

Maximizing Financial Stability and Growth: The Benefits of Juggling Two Jobs

I have struggled with finances at various points in my life. Here are some proven strategies that I have successfully used to attain financial freedom.

For various reasons (going through divorce, moving multiple times, going back to school, etc.) I have found myself pretty deep in debt at different points in my life. At times, I have had to make the hard choice of buying gas for my car or paying a bill. Thankfully, I have not had to choose (yet!) between buying food or medicine like many Americans do today. Groceries are expensive, rent is going…

[caffeinesam]

Just trying to save some money

We wanted to buy a condo. Our apartment was getting small, and it was far from either of our jobs. My commute was tedious and the bus ride took him hours. We had accrued a lot of debt over the last three years just, like, letting our expenses get the best of our credit scores. Just dumb twenty-somethings with unlimited desires and no one to stop us. No one taught us either.

We listened to my mother's advice; cut back on your little luxuries and save some money. Dad just nodded. His father told us to at least save some money for the minimal down payment, see what the interest rates were and work on our credit. His mom just nodded.

So we cut back on eating out and stopped buying lattes on our walks downtown. We tried to reduce our grocery bills by getting only what was on sale. We did our best but the interests on our credit cards kept up with what little we saved. Every month we came to the same conclusion.

"Do you have anything left?"

"I'm bled dry, I don't get it!"

"You splurge on anything?"

"Just the oil change. The brakes were due and he said something about the air sensor I didn't understand. Had it changed."

"This piece of shit is getting expensive to run."

"Yeah."

But I still desperately needed it, no bus lines reached the hotel I worked at or the mall where the groceries were the cheapest. The city's planning didn't want to help us.

Our parents weren't worried.

"It's okay, it might take a little while but you'll get to it!" my mom tried to cheer me up "Surely there's something else you can cut back on!"

"I guess so."

I ran a budget app, with input from my bank and credit card statements, trying to find where I was bleeding money. But nothing, just the bare necessities, maybe a book last week, maybe this grocery trip had been a bit extravagant, my share of the rent, our insurance, fuel.

Our insurance.

Did we really need a 150k protection for a one-bedroom? We do not own that much! Did the old beat-up Nissan need full coverage? It was paid for a long time ago. I felt dumb. Every year we were paying more in insurance than the amount we bought it for.

"Babe? I'm gonna call the insurance company tomorrow. I think we're wasting, like a lot, with them."

And so our debt melted a few hundred dollars every month. I felt relieved. So relieved. And excited.

I started eating less. Not to lose weight but to make the groceries last longer. I didn't bring lunches to work, only water. I sneaked some bits from the buffet but otherwise just fasted all day.

One day I had an idea. I parked the car out back by the dumpsters and, making sure the line cooks weren't smoking outside, dove in at my break, filling the trunk with bags of food we had thrown away. It was safe, the freezing temperature would keep it from spoiling. It was safe. I would sift through it tonight, see what's still good, what's not.

"Uh... what's that?"

"I figured we could save up a lot more if I took some food from th..."

"Did you steal this from the hotel dumpster!?"

"It's not theft they were throwing it away!"

"That's not what I..." he stopped, sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and scratched his head with both his hands. "I'm not gonna eat trash!"

"Fine! But fill up the car yourself if you waste your cash on groceries!"

Two months of that and I had paid off one of my credit cards entirely while he struggled with either of his. I sometimes slept in unoccupied bedrooms at the hotel to save on gas. It was better that way, we didn't really feel like hanging out anyway. I took double shifts when I could, it kept my mind away from the hunger and my fragile fingernails. They kept breaking. I had to be careful not get caught stealing for the buffet. So annoying.

He called me at work.

"Did you block my number? I tried texting you. Have you been here all this week?"

"Yes" I whispered "I'm trying to save on gas dammit!"

"You blocked my number?! Why?"

"No, no I sold my phone. I spent the week here."

"What?"

"I sold my phone. I don't need it. You can take my messages and I only come here anyway."

"Your parents keep calling" he said after a long silence "maybe give them a call. We're all worried J."

"Will do."

"When are you coming home? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"Okay" he paused "I love you"

I hung up. I was pissed. He would have me wasting our money on expensive meals at home instead of paying back his credit cards. He would have me drive 25 miles back and forth, on MY time, with MY gas money, so I would distract him from his boring life? What was I his Netflix account? I briskly walked back to the front desk, and briskly fainted on the soft carpet.

I woke up to my manager helping me up. Her soft arm and the warmth of her large body felt luxurious and wasteful. I got angry. My vision pulsed to my heartbeat. She sat me on a couch in the lobby. She was obviously angry too.

"I let go of your weird shit for the last few months Julie" she said with a soft voice holding her anger on a leach "but if you start fainting on the job I can't let you come in. Get some help. You look like a well-dressed corpse! You have sick days, take them!"

"I don't want to. I need to work."

"You can't come to work like that! You know the cameras see you sleeping in the rooms and dive in the dumpsters!" her voice got tremulous "Look I don't want to push you to the edge if you're afraid to go home..."

"It's too expensive..." I said, she looked at me dumbfounded and confused "Yeah okay. I will get some rest."

"Take a proper meal before driving. Please. We will talk about this later. I'll call you next Tuesday."

"Yeah."

She was about to fire me. I knew it. I sat in the car, catching a glimpse of a gaunt stranger's reflection in the window. It was just me. Faint, my blonde hair dry and thinning, my eyes sunken and sad, my skin flaky and pale. She was about to fire me.

I drove towards home, but parked in front of a large bungalow.

"We could save on insurance by sleeping under their back porch maybe."

I tried the door, it was unlocked. I walked through the house, helped myself to the fridge, went to the garage and sneaked out with a gasoline can.

"We should make the insurance worth paying."

[tea-and-nuance]

I was a single mom for several years after leaving an abusive relationship. I'm disabled due to chronic health conditions and mental illness. I was homeless for a short period of time. All of which led me to tap into local resources. I try to do volunteer work when I can, I mostly volunteer for a crisis line. I'm involved in 12 Step recovery programs. Naturally friends come to me for suggestions when they or someone they know is struggling.

This is where it gets weird.

One of the first places I often recommend is Catholic Charities. While understandably this is where people get turned off, they hate the idea of a religious organization - fuck Catholicism and religious people, ok I get that. But like, as far as local social programs that can help go, my experience with them has been amazing.

They provided clothing and diapers for the first year and half of my babies life. I also would have been able to access formula and babyfood if I'd needed it. They helped pay for some of my doctors visits while I pregnant and waiting for insurance (through medicaid and later through medicare once my disability case went through). They helped connected me to a pro bono lawyer for disability as well. When I was there they also had immigration programs and lawyers.

They paid for my rent, gas, and electric bills during months when I fell short. When I was looking for a place to live they connected me a realtor who could give me some information. I also valued the fact they many of their volunteers sat with me with a compassionate ear while I sobbed. I'm not Catholic, they helped me anyway.

Kiddo goes to a Catholic school and every month they're doing some sort of donation drive usually connected to a local organization. I don't bring it up to most of my friends because I know the moment I mention that yes it's a Catholic run event they aren't interested.

That's not the only example I have. When the local Ukrainian Catholic Church was asking for donations to support Ukraine - friends opted to ignore it simply because it was a religious organization. Even though all they could talk about was finding ways to support Ukraine.

Seeking ways to help the homeless community? Or having a friend dealing with homelessness? I often recommend the Christian Church downtown. They work closely with a local organization that sets up showers around the city and provides bags with toiletries and other items for hygiene. They're always asking for menstrual products, soaps, toothbrushes, toothpaste etc.

"Didn't that church get in trouble for trying to remain open during Covid?" I mean, kind of? They stop doing Sunday services when it was required but they continued efforts to provide food for the homeless. They have a food truck that goes around the city and offers free lunches. They didn't get in trouble, but they were criticized for continuing to feed the homeless while a lot of food banks were shut down.

"Yeah but Christians! Gross." I get it, but like this one church in our area is doing a lot of good for our community...

Every year they run a food drive for Thanksgiving. They'll deliver entire meals to several hundred families in the area who are struggling and request it. They work with local restaurants and grocery stores and can use support. Or if you're worried about making ends meet you can apply. "I don't want to take anything from religious people." "Ok..."

Struggling with drug addiction, alcoholism, of have a friend that does? I can recommend some great 12 Step recovery meetings. "Omg no, they're a cult and meet in churches..." "You've known me for 5 years, I don't think you know what these programs actually do or what I do." Before covid I had a group of recovery friends bringing meetings to local shelters and the prisons. Maybe you don't like the god aspect, but not every member is religious. Talking to people about how you found help and recovery does a lot of good.

"I don't want to donate to Goodwill because they're for profit backed by religious organizations, and don't actually help people." You can check on the local Goodwill's website to see most of the money they make is donated to community service programs. Like the Walmart program that helps single mothers find jobs. Senior and Disabled Employment programs. Mentoring programs for at risk youth. Programs that help inmates who were released from prison find jobs and get required community service hours.

Like I get questioning ideals and practices but they actually do a lot of good.

I usually recommend a thrift store that donates most of their money to the AIDs foundation and provides free testing. Which by the way the local Unity church makes donations too.

One of the Unity churches also works closely with some of the animal shelters if you're looking to adopt. They've also been making efforts to support local artists and some of the local performing arts theaters. "Oh, yeah but they pray to God... Ew."

When talking about the local women's shelter I'm usually asked what they provided for the trans community and transwomen. I honestly don't know, I just know from personal experience and the experience of women I know from 12 Step Programs how they helped. "But inclusion is so important!" "Yes... but you asked for help as a woman looking to leave domestic abuse..." While the women's shelter isn't a religious organization most of the churches in the area donate to them.

Another local church, I think it's christian, has a program where they build beds for children. A Unity church I used to attend did a teddy bear drive for police and fire stations, money would go to low income families and service workers would give teddy bears to the kids they help. "But it's a church and ugh ACAB!"

The Buddhist community center has free weekly potlucks for anyone that shows up. The Unity church does a wellness event with local businesses and organizations, you can see a doctor, get a massage, a tarot reading, and buy from local artists all in the same date. (Weird flex but it's a great community event.) Our local Quaker church donates to the LGBT community center, and does some political activism (usually left leaning).

I once volunteered for a prayer line looking for people with crisis line experience. They were then able to connect with a crisis line for better training for their volunteers.

Mind you I live in a very progressive city. The places I mentioned are not "fire and brimstone jesus down your throat, middle of no where ignorant our way is the only way," types.

My whole point with this - and my point with a lot of things - is sometimes thinking is soooo black and white people miss the good things that are actually going on. I get being hurt by organized religion and religious people. But I listen to people painting with such a broad brush of just... hate they end up denying themselves and others of, well amazing social programs. So often they talk about the need for the government to provide better social programs, yet they won't support the programs actually going on and being funded by members of the community - because they might have a different belief than them?

And it's always awkward to sit with a group of friends talking about how stupid and evil "believers" are. We can all agree extremist=bad. While I've always leaned more spiritual than religious it's always like, damn, they really don't know me. They really don't know how much 'religious' people in our community helped me. None of which have pushed extremist ideas. It's like they don't talk to individuals outside of their echo chamber. I love jumping around the different churches and seeing what they're doing and connecting with all kind of different people who are trying to do good.

I didn't mean for this to turn into such a long rant. But I've literally not been able to say any of it without weird angry responses. Literally having a conversation with someone on the verge of homelessness, struggling with addiction, and not sure how to provide for their kids. Every suggestion was shut down because, "ew gross, religious people who might not agree with my politics." They even refused a very kind offer for temporary housing because the landlord friend leans politically moderate, I don't get why that was even a conversation. I offered to meet them at a food bank, but because it was at a church they didn't want it. Ok, whatever. I understand, but I don't get it.

[aikeaguineamp3]

hi friends I am a bisexual non-binary mentally ill and neurodivergent person currently trying to support both myself and my boyfriend using a very small monthly disability check. this is very difficult - almost the entirety of my monthly check goes toward rent and so we struggle for the rest of each month trying to pay utility bills and phone bills and trying to pay for groceries, medications, gas, etc. at the moment we are trying to pay a $118 electric bill and also accumulate enough money to buy some groceries. we were also struggling to pay the electric bill for December and were finally able to thanks to donations from people on here (we really appreciate it! thank you to everyone who donated!!)

unfortunately now the electric bill for January is due, and it is $118. i already have $25 of this thanks to a very good friend of mine but there's still a ways to go. on top of this we are trying to gather enough money to get some groceries (and our car also needs some very expensive repairs but I am starting to feel that is more of a pipe dream than anything at this point).

if you could donate anything we would both really really appreciate it, and please also share this. also please don't feel guilty if you can not donate as I know we are all just trying to survive.

P-yPal: ithinktheyrehavingfun@gmail.com

c-shapp: $charlieavery420

v-nmo: @charlieavery428

thank you so much and I hope everyone reading this has an excellent day 💖💖💖

[asking-jude]

I'm really struggling dealing with my partner buying our first home by himself. Our plan was always to buy one day but I haven't had steady employment so I just assumed we'd rent until I was working full time and could co-sign a loan with him. But since he's been blessed with job security, he thought it would be better to buy a place instead. We picked it out together and everything, and I pay halves on all the bills and rates, but he insists on paying the mortgage himself because it's easier. He says I should save because he can afford it and what's mine is his. I know he's trying to be sweet but it makes me feel shit. Even if he doesn't want half of the monthly fee, I want to contribute SOMETHING you know? (other than my share of the bills). I feel like he's my landlord. Like I'm getting permission to stay there. I just hate that we didn't buy it together. Especially because I'm constantly reminded of it. Both our parents call it HIS home. He of course calls it ours and treats it as if it's ours, but just when I think I'm okay with it, I get reminded again that he bought it. Idk, it's tough. I mean even most of the furniture is mine or I bought it to make it my contribution but everyone still calls it his place :( The first appliance I bought myself when we moved in was a proper expensive coffee machine because I'm a huge coffee drinker and his dad said it was nice of him to buy it for me. I just don't know how to come to terms with it. This should be an exciting time for us and instead it's a cause of stress

Ask A Question Here

Hello,

I’m sorry you’re being made to feel less than by members of your family. No matter what the circumstances are surrounding that house, there’s no need for them to rub it in your face, especially if they know that you’re bothered by it.

I highly suggest sitting down with both sets of parents to tell them how you’re feeling. Let them know that you don’t appreciate them assuming that your boyfriend is the only one contributing. Despite your boyfriend paying the mortgage, it is your home as well. You’re living in it, taking care of it, and participating in what you can afford, so that should be more than enough proof that it belongs to you and your boyfriend. 

It sounds like your boyfriend is trying his best to make you feel comfortable about the new house, which is great, but let him know what’s stirring inside your heart as well. If you become too stressed, this might cause bitterness or resentment in your relationship, possibly pulling you apart. We don’t want that. Give yourself the chance to explain to him that between your parents constantly pointing out that it’s his home, and the fact that you’re not able to afford as much as he is toward the house, you feel like a tenant or roommate more than a significant other. Try to come to some sort of agreement that is doable for you both. 

I know you want to pay the same amount of money that your boyfriend does on the house but know that money isn’t the only way to contribute to a home. So many couples have separate incomes that vary in size. One spouse’s paycheck could pay for the mortgage and insurance, while the other focuses on groceries, gas, and savings. Think of couples who have one income because someone is a stay-at-home parent. Regardless, the home belongs to them both. 

Find ways to contribute that don’t cost more than you’re able to afford, such as decorating the walls with pictures, creating an organization system for the kitchen, or buying a bunch of throw pillows. Houses are like canvases. There are so many ways to paint them. The only limit is your imagination.

Here are a couple of articles to give you more ideas:

Make your house your home--and remind your family of that too!

Best,

xxSelena

Do you want free, remote mental health support? Reach out to us at askingjude.org today.

[aetheriumwar]

hi! i really hate to make another post but we’re still struggling; my fiance and i are both poor and trans and gay and we could use some help. my fiance is now back at work but we don’t think he’ll get paid enough to pay our rent this month since he was on medical leave & we really don’t have the money for it + we’ll still need groceries and gas. our rent is $495 so that’s my goal right now.

[illegalcupcakes]

Mutual Aid Request!

Hey everyone. So here’s the situation; I’ve been using DoorDash as my primary income, and it has gotten so bad that we aren’t living paycheck to paycheck but rather day to day through fast pay. My partner and I are both getting new jobs, but we’re not gonna be able to make it to payday with what we have so far, and since I’m going to be working during lunch and dinner rushes at my new job, I’m not exactly gonna be able to work enough to cover any bills or groceries or gas for at least the next two weeks.

Right now all of our bills are past due, some higher priority than others. Our gas bill is about $80, our electric is up to $247, and the water bill will be coming through any day at likely around $150. On top of that, I also have my phone bill that is $71 and the Wi-Fi that is overdue at $202. Altogether, we need about $530 to get through the month, not including rent since we’ve been able to work out a deal with that.

Hopefully having an actual job, even just a lower paying but steady job, will help in the upcoming months, but right now is the culmination of almost a year of struggle, and it’s a bit overwhelming. If each of my followers could send one dollar, it would get us most of the way there.

My cash app is $illegalcupcakes. If you’re able to spare anything, any little bit helps, and if you can’t, please share to help boost.