#that took so long to get correct i dont want to do it again. her tail is also like a pugs though it used to be super long and fluffy and now

[impostorsshow]

I'm thinking about my 7 year old oc again

My "little" rant is below the read more so I don't clog up your feed and there's descriptions for the art with a bit more information in the alt text thingy. I add alt text with personal comments to most of my posts but I saw a post somewhere saying most people don't even realize the feature exists, so I'm just. I'm stating it here it exists I use it

While Jessica was experimented on by an entire institute, there was one main person overseeing the experiment, and that was the guy up there. The original experiment was to see what happened when you combined animal DNA with human DNA, since in this fake world genetic science is a bit farther than ours today, and this particular facility had successfully given animals different attributes, such as a rat gills and and chicken a tail like that of a cat. Despite both those creatures dying within hours, this corrupt motherfucker decided to try and get a human subject, and Jessica's family needed the money. Thankfully, not only did the test of giving her dog dna [idfk I'm a cat person give me a break on the breeds] worked, it turned out she was much harder to kill, and had not grown as expected from a 14 year old girl who's going through puberty and in turn growth spurts.

Anyway yada yada she broke out find out she's immortal whatever. Other notes :

She has a brother. I forgot his name but he did have a name, and was later submitted to the facility before her family found out she was missing at the age of 19 and survived, but he gained a compromised immune system and I might give him mobility aids. His color scheme is mainly green and yellow and I always think of those aesthetic pictures of the shoreline when I think of him. Jessica meeting her brother [now technically 23] is a very big help to her recovery, and while her brother is accepted and loved in their home town, Jessica can't bring herself to come back and usually asks him to visit her on the edge of town or at her house, usually bringing along friends. Eventually the main scientist dies by her hands and she covers it up ["cmon gromit, we have to hide the body! There's not cheese and crackers in hell, gromit!" /ref], and a few years later the facility is shut down due to malpractice and Jessica slowly starts to actually visit the town and her parents. They never have the same relationship they used to, but her parents are just happy she's safe and sound and being taken care of.

Jessica will eventually outlive Flora and inherit her belongings, as Flora lived alone her entire life, her photography career and later Jessica being more than enough to make her happy. Jess would start managing her social media when she got older, and never had the heart to delete anything, inviting her distant family to the funeral and arranging for her to be buried in the woods near her home. She's still visibly 14, and would simply live later with her brother in Floras old home and take care of it the best she could. Her story is about moving forward, and as such, you could say she has an infinite epilogue, rather than my other ocs who never get an ending, and the ones that do are frozen at the very end of it, not meant to go any further.

Jessica isnt meant to be aroace, but I heavily imply it because her never aging causes complications, and this isn't really a vampire example. She and her brother are the only one of their kind, and her brother is still destined to fall at some point, aging slowed dramatically rather than completely stopped. I used to consider giving her a love interest for hours on end, but eventually her being 14 would interrupt it and I just gave up. Flora however, is aroace, sex adverse and is the reason she chose the lifestyle she did.

Speaking of Flora, dispite living in the middle of nowhere in the woods, she's quite the extrovert. She loves nature, and used to be a wildlife ranger before her photography career took off, and often travels around the world to capture wildlife. When she found Jessica and found out she had run away from home, and didn't ask any questions after until they had more trust built up between them, simply providing shelter and care that eventually became a permanent roommate situation. She slowly worked up to taking jobs around the world again, but now that Flora had someone to come back home to, she booked her flights to make sure she could be home as much as possible. I think if Jessica was a normal girl and somehow found her way to Flora, they would spend weeks in Paris and Britain together, Flora never leaving Jessica behind on her trips. Unfortunately, werewolf science experiments would never get past TSA.

I don't know if I've ever said this but hey I'll say it again she used to have actual wolf dna, hence werewolf, hence Jessica Winterwolf, but I learned to draw wolf ears from gacha life and I genuinely didn't know what to do about it and couldn't think of another way of drawing them without them looking like cat ears, so I just made them floppy like a pug. Also Winterwolf is because winter is Jessica's favorite season.

Similarly with Jessica's ears originally being gacha life, I actually conceptualized her fully for the first time with a designed I liked in there, and one of the bits that stuck was the fact that she has crescent shaped pupils that are a lavender shade.

Her existence was heavily inspired by a series named "Harrowed Past" which has now been taken down by the creator, but the characters still live on, you can probably find it if you search up "pip and twitch thedragonhat" which I think is who made it?? Oh well I'll edit the post later if I'm wrong. Twitch was actually the first piece of art/fanart I ever made with the purpose of getting better at art, and I really wish i still had it, but I can't even find a picture i took of it or anything. Unfortunately, the character is really hard to find since his name is shared with the giant streaming site Twitch. I haven't watched the guys stuff in a long while but I think he uses twitch as his main vtuber for streaming nowadays which is cool.

[munivrse]

enhypen as employees at my old coffee/icecream shop

cw: work shenanigans. war flashbacks of spilling hot milk on hands. niki breakdancing.

Heeseung: probably the manager

so nice

friends with with all of the employees on a personal level

sings on karaoke nights and entrusts the rest of the kids to run the shop for the time being

hums while he prepares drinks

one time steamed milk and it boiled over onto his hand as a customer watched. he brushed it off but cried in the office afterwards. (based on a true story 😔)

Jay: customer

jay is a customer who comes in for the same coffee drink every day: just a caramel frappe.

likes to explain he wants a medium caramel frappe with no syrup and extra whip in the most complicated way so that he can talk to the cashier for a long time.

really only came to visit jake at work but became well acquainted with the rest of the staff and now theyre all besties.

specifically wants to take the cashier, shrink him, and put him in his pocket.

they let him carry out drinks during karaoke nights sometimes.

one time came in and asked for a cold brew with one ice cube in it. clearly it had been a very rough day.

Jake: server

love jake but

cannot make an order to customer satisfaction to save his life. (bitter espresso, too much ice in frappes, etc.)

heeseung really liked how polite and sweet he was so he made him a server.

all of the older customers are in love with him and sometimes will ask him to sit with them if the shop isnt busy.

just so personable and sweet he is a dream server.

loves karaoke nights because he loves live music and all of the regulars come to watch him sing a bit too.

one karaoke night a child had ran right in front of him as he was briskly walking back from delivering drinks. came back to the counter pale as a ghost, "guys i almost just steamrolled a child 😰"

Sunghoon: barista

looks scary, very funny and nice.

only makes coffee. likes making new drinks (specifically themed holiday drinks.)

claims he makes the best espresso shots. he is correct.

every customer has a crush on him even though he doesn't leave from behind the counter

does karaoke with heesung if the day is going by slow.

so smart; lacks common sense.

spilled ice in the backroom and then sprayed hot water on the ice to melt it. there is no drain in the floor. so it was just 2x the amount of water. took two hours to dry.

Sunoo: drive thru

his voice is just so nice to hear. makes jokes at the window too.

mostly at the drive thru because nobody wants to uell at him when they see him through the window.

when the drive thru isnt busy they usually ask him yo clean up a bit around the shop and he always sings along to the songs playing off the speakers

a smart ass who plays around too much with niki.

makes all of the summer refreshers

one time the shop was out of 60% of their ice creams and he got very tired of people saying "So what DO you have???" so he muted his mic, screamed into the tip jar so that nobody could hear him, unmuted the mic, and proceeded to list out what they did, in fact, have.

Jungwon: Cashier

polite 80% of the time until some woman comes up and complains that her drink does not taste like how they do at starbucks.

"unfortunately ma'am, this is not a starbucks. this is (shop name). we can remake the drink if you'd like it sweeter..."

perfect balance of smart and polite responses

has a couple regulars that he loves talking to though.

thinks its funny when jay comes up asking the following: "can i get a... whats it called.. the frozen drink with-" "with the caramel?" "... yeah the caramel. what's that called again?" "A caramel frappucino." "frappucino.. gotcha. can i get the caramel frappucino? size-" "size medium. i know. you're here every thursday and friday. go sit down."

Niki: who really knows. gets paid good tho

he does a bit of everything. please dont let him make espresso though hes not too good at that yet.

just makes a fool of himself every day he works.

in charge of the ice cream portion of the store. ice cream scoops are significantly too big for $1.99

does the thing where you flip the ice cream scoop in the air and try to catch it on the cone. literally misses every time but nobody yells at him because the customers love it.

dances around while sweeping and is actually... abnormally good.

doesnt sing for karaoke night but will jokingly be a backup dancer doing the most when an employee sings

break dancing while jake sings love yourself

get those two away from eachother

drive thru is right behind the ice cream freezer so he'll tap sunoo's shoulder and turn around as if nothing happened.

theres a tv that usually has an aesthetic coffee shop themed picture on it throughout the day. one time the remote was left unattended and niki changed it to minecraft speed runs. nobody noticed until a group of kids wouldnt stop looking at the tv.

[minminho0]

✤------------------------------------------✤

◈Anything Please◈

✤------------------------------------------✤

<Kazuha x Reader>

-Angst

⏤͟͟͞͞ Part 2 - The one

Summary: He always leaves you to venture the world but during those times, he met someone new, someone better than you and thus he left you.

Reader: female

Warnings: --

A/n: feel free to correct my grammar

I hope you enjoy~!

--

"I'll come back to you soon, dont worry!"

You waved at him good bye as he grew smaller and smaller until he left your vision.

You always been a lucky girl, always getting what you wanted and so you hoped that he will become yours.

You went back at your abode wondering when he will come back.

You two met not to long ago, he saved you when you were being attacked by some treasure hoarders on the way home. To repay him you let him rest at your house whenever he wants and he gladly took it. During those times he visits, you two grew to know eachother.

You always tried your best to enjoy the moment his here with you because you always think about the day he will leave again.

You two werent official or anything just some friends that kind of act like a couple but not really?

But youre okay with anything aslong as you can still see him but your heart still yearned more.

Going to the shower with a heavy heart.

The thing that you feared the most is him finding someone new, someone to love and he wont come here anymore.

You wanted to confess to him, you tried to confess to him but every time you always get interrupted or your confidence just dissapears causing you to be a stuttering mess.

-

"Oh! Kazuha welcome, its been a while!" You greeted him.

Its been a year and a half since his last visit and you dearly miss him.

"Hehe, sorry i didn't inform you about my whereabouts, i forgot" he said while scratching the back of his head.

'You forgot about me?' Is what you wanted to say.

"Haha its ok!"

"Anyways come in!" You said before you can step aside, you noticed someone behind him.

"Oh? Who's that behind you, Kazuha?"

"Oh! Yes i came here because i wanted you to meet my girlfriend!"

You heart fell into pieces

All your hope just dissapeared

You knew that once he had a girlfriend your position in his life will become lower and his visits will become rarer.

Your fear came true, thats what you get for not confessing soon, now youre too late.

'Girlfriend?'

"Hello, you just be y/n, i heard alot about you" she said smiling.

Oh how you want to be introduced like that by him 'this is my girlfriend, y/n!' But you were simply to late and thought he'll come back to you, single.

"Oh- hello! Nice to meet you" you faked a smile.

"You too"

"And im sorry, y/n! We cant stay here for too long, were meeting her parents, hehe, just wanted to stop by and introduce her to you so next time you two wont be that much of a stranger!"

"Oh its ok! And good luck at your guys relationship, hope it last long" you chuckled but deep down you wanted them to break up this instant.

"Haha thank you!"

"Thank you"

"Lets go now, love"

"Mhm, bye y/n, hope we meet again soon"she waved.

I waved back beading them good bye.

They turned at their back and their figure become smaller smaller.

Oh how familiar this scene is

Where you seen him go but this time hes with someone

Someone he love

and that someone will never ever be you.

-

You sat there at your bed, praying to whoever to please let him come back to you and look at you with that loving gaze he held for her.

Youll do anything! Anything please! Just to suit this ache and be with him.

But this time the gods didn't let you have your way and you continued to have a heavy heart.

--

*Masterlist*

Its been a while since my last post.

Im currently working on a fanfic but my brain keeps skiping to the main part so idk how to start it and stuff💀my brain rn

I wrote this short fic at school, so its a bit uncreative-ishbut i do hope you enjoyed it! :D

-February 27, 2023

[lesvii]

Wanted pt. 2

Chapter 1:

Sorry for the wait, I've haven't been active lately but i will try to keep it up, I'm not sure if I'll leave this story here? Or made a extra part. This is just Smut. 🌶️

English is not my first language so please correct me if something's wrong🫶

.

.

.

The taller woman raised an eyebrow as she smirked at me.

´´Well you're an obedient girl, i'll give you that…´´

I look at the woman again from the reflection in front of me, I'm sure I gave her my most terrified look because she sighed.

``Calm down girl, i don't bite… unless you provoke me to.´´ The woman whisper into my ear, as she slowly losses the grip on me and takes her hand off my mouth, i quickly turn to face her as i take a few steps back and hit the kitchen counter, i supported myself with my hands on the counter, as i tried to get my breathing steady, my chest falling up and down. I finally have the courage to speak.

``W-Who are you? What are you doing in my house–´´ I got cut off by the woman interrupting me.

As the woman drifts slowly towards the other side of the kitchen counter as she leaned to it looking at me, the moon shining through the window hitting her face, made me realize something… something that made my skin crawl, she looked way to much like Valeria as Valeria Garza or el sin nombre, a cold shiver hit my spine as i shake the thought of.

``I think you already know that dont you?´´ Valeria smirks, as she walks towards me and leans close to my face.

´´So pretty girl… are you all bark no bite? I heard you on your little chat...´´ Valeria whispered into my ear, as she grabbed my waist, her cold hand made me shiver through my night clothes, a black silky tank top and some cream comfy pants. My eyes widened at what she said, suddenly I felt my face hot and a faint tint of pink appear on my cheeks.

´´I-Im…not sure what you're talking about– you should go, i don't want any trouble.´´ I said to Valeria as i look up at her but quickly took my gaze off her, her gaze on me was way to powerful, to determined on what she was doing. She grins once again as she grips my chin to force me to look at her, she makes a clicking sound with her tongue as she shakes her head.

´´No chula, i'm not going anywhere.¨ Valeria said as her grip on me tightened, she looked me up and down as she chuckled. Whatever was going in her mind I wasn't staying to find out, but her other hand gripping my waist pressing me on the counter prevented me from moving.

``How about we make a deal? Huh?.´´ Valeria said, I chuckled nervously.

´´I don't think making a deal with El Sin Nombre worked for your dead enemies, didn't it?.´´ I said.

´´Smart girl..´´ Valeria said with a cocky grin.

´`in this case is not essentially cartel business, so i can guarantee you're not dying…´´ Valeria said with her predatory gaze on me, i gulped.

´´I don't think i have an option´´ I said nervously, valeria smiled at me as she loses the grip on me and took a step back, but close enough still to feel her hot breathing.

´´Im staying long enough until my men can escort me out safely…´´Valeria said

´´And what do I get in return?´´ I said, Valeria grins as the way she looks at me changes, her hand rested in my cheek, she brushes off the hair on my face, she leans to me.

``Lets say ill fuck you, but not in your sleep so you can remeber it´´ Valeria boldly said to my face, well now i know she listen to my whole chat on the phone, oh my god, i mean it wasnt that bad, isnt it?.

Nothing bad was turning out of this, I let her stay for a day or two and I got the special treatment, not that I was needy about it but its been months since I actually slept with someone, 3 years since my last relationship, and small situationships i've had through the month but nothing serious.

I blushed at how bold Valeria was being.

``I– theres no need for that, and please forget everything i said in that call´´i said embarrassed, i tired to get away from valeria walking away but she grab my arm.

´´Not so fast, gatita´´ Valeria said, that made me shiver, which she noticed.

Valeria leaned into me gazing at my body until she stopped at my face and kissed me, deeply and rough. I kissed her back, as she grabbed me by the waist and pushed me into the wall, i gasp but she didn't seem to care as she kept kissing me, this time she bit my bottom lip, forcing me to open my lips as she introduced her tongue in me, i melted into her touch rough but steady, my hands rested in her shoulders keeping her closer to me, she came down to the crook of my neck as i felt her sloppy wet kisses as she whispers.

´´We should take this somewhere comfortable don't you think, chula?´´ Valeria whispered into my ear, as I shamelessly nodded, I couldn't speak. I led her upstairs as I opened the door to my room, a queen size bed with white fluffy sheets, a big window in the balcony where you could see the huge moon from inside, dim lights in the room, a faint scent of Vanilla from a candle I had lit up a few hours ago.

As soon as i closed the bedroom door Valeria grabbed me from behind as she turn me to her and kissed me again, she grabbed me by the waist and laid me into the bed, she was on top on me, her hands wondering on my body, for a split second i thought, what the fuck i was doing, but the thought quickly went away as i felt valeria hand underneath my tank top grabbing my breast, i whimpered, but quickly shut myself up putting a hand over my mouth. Valeria looked at me and leaned into my ear.

´´I wanna hear you… don't cover yourself up´´.

Valeria's lips met yours eagerly, and she grabbed you and held you firmly against her.

Her mouth moved with yours as her hands roamed across your abdomen, her fingers digging into your flesh.

"You are even more lovely than I imagined" She whispered "I can't wait to explore every corner of that body of yours"

She bit your lip softly and her mouth went down to your neck, letting her tongue explore you while she kept kissing your neck.

Valeria took both of your hands and pinned them down above your head, with her other hand she quickly took your tank top off, as she carefully touched your bare skin, tracing patterns in your abdomen, she made a trail of wet kisses from your chest to your lower abdomen just where your pants where, as she breath in, and looked at you from below, asking for permission, as you nodded at her

Valeria grinned, taking the hint. She slid her fingers along the waistband of your pants, tugging gently as she moved them down to pool at your ankles. With a smirk on her face, Valeria leaned down and took off your pants, exposing you completely. She ran her fingers along your thighs, tracing patterns on your skin as she looked up at you with a predatory smile.

"Now then," she purred, as you shyly looked away from valeria she had this predatory gaze on your body, as she grips your chin forcing you to look up at her.

“look at me, Chula” she whisper.

“Mmm, that's better," Valeria whispered, her gaze raking over your exposed body with hunger. She leaned in closer, her warm breath caressing your skin as she trailed her fingers down to your chest.

"You're so beautiful," valeria said.

as Valeria’s hand slowly trail down from your abdomen into your inner right, her hand massage your skin, as her finger crawls into your sensitive spot between your legs.

"Mmm..." Valeria moaned as she felt your body respond to her touch.

Her finger slowly traced the outline of your entrance, teasing and exploring you in a way that made you shiver in anticipation. "You’re so wet for me already.. perra"

Valeria watched carefully as her finger sank into you, her lips curling into a wicked grin when she saw the way you whimpered and writhed beneath her. She was in control of every sensation coursing through your body, and she took great pleasure in it. As you whimper into her touch, you grab from the bed sheets as hard as you can, the burning sensation hits for a moment until you adjust into valeria thrust into you. Feeling your body adjust to her intrusion, Valeria pushed deeper, her fingers finding your g-spot effortlessly. She began to thrust in and out, her other hand moving to caress your clit gently.

“hmm—v-valeria” you moan as she thrusted deeper into you, the ecstasy of the moment got the best out of you, as valeria caressed your clit with her thumb.

Valeria groaned softly, taking in the sound of your voice as she thrust deeper into you. The wet sloppy sound taking over the room. Her hand moved from your clit to pinch your nipple and twist it playfully, sending shivers down your spine.

“Oh yes, Chula," Valeria whispered, her voice hoarse with desire.

"Give in to it. Let me take you where you've never been before." With each thrust of her finger, she increased the pressure, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.

"That's it, baby," Valeria purred, her hips grinding against your leg as she took control of the situation. Her thrusts became faster and more intense, driving you to the brink of climax with each passing moment. "Cum for me, Chula,".

As for each trust this warm feeling between your legs kept getting bigger, as you grip into valeria shoulders and whimper her name, as you cum.

“V—Valeria" was all you could manage to say as you felt yourself spasm around her finger. Your body shuddered with pleasure, and Valeria could feel the warmth of your cum seeping onto her hand. She continued to thrust, drawing out every last drop of pleasure from you. Feeling our body tense and tremble beneath her, Valeria smiled in satisfaction as she watched you climax. Your walls clenching tightly around her finger, signaling your release.

Your breathing still agitated, your eyes shut but you hit your climax, as Valeria's finger retreats from your insides, she licks her fingers clean and lays tired beside you as you both try to get your breathing back to normal.

“There you go, Chula," Valeria said softly, her voice a gentle whisper against your ear. She leaned over to kiss your forehead tenderly before lying down beside you, her breathing slowly returning to normal as well.

[ever-fics]

Rock you Like a Hurricane PT1:

New message:

A Notification pops up on the arcade machine

UtahSuperstar7:

Hi,Sorry to startle you . I’m not a stalker I swear.. I thought I programmed this so it would display my name and not my user name.

Anyway I’ve hacked this…

Its my favorite game. Anyway dont tell anyone I

hacked this please… I need to stay long enough to get information

___________________________________

Michael sighs… knowing he has to get them off the machine before his Dad figures out its been hacked… he begins to type back.

___________________________________

Player 1:

Why do you need information?___________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

Long story…. I would say I was looking for somone but uh…After a while you get to a point you’ll even settle for answers.

___________________________________

The message and the user name combined gives Michael a good enough guess as to who he’s talking to…

He just… hasn’t seen her in years and didn’t know she could hack but given its her he is talking to it doesn’t surprise him.

___________________________________

Player 1:

Wait a Hot minute I recognize your username…somebody used it as some sort of sports nickname…

___________________________________

Michael smirks as he types it hoping she will correct him on the sports part or just admit who she is. ___________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

Please. Tell me you weren't at Hurricane High anywhere

between 85 -88?

___________________________________

That was not the response Michael wanted or expected but it still makes him more certain he’s talking to Y/N…

___________________________________

Player 1:

No can do…

___________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

Okay well maybe you are wrong and you dont recognize the nickname? xP

___________________________________

Player 1:

Superstar of Utah…Y/N?

Cheer Captain?

___________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

Nobody calls me that …

___________________________________

Michael had forgotten about that that her real name reminded her of her dead sister so she adopted a nickname a while back…

___________________________________

Player 1:

You’re looking for Suzie aren’t you?

___________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

Who the hell are you and what do you know about my sister?

___________________________________

Michael … didn’t know how to answer that one … oh Yeah my Dad murdered your sister and stuffed her corpse into a baby chicken robot… yeah Um… No … especially not to her…

_________________________________

Player 1:

About as much as you Unfortunately. That she disappeared at a Halloween party …in 1980

_________________________________

Utahsuperstar7:

Again Who the hell are you and what do you know about my sister?…

_________________________________

Player 1:

Y/N …Im…Im sorry… for everything. For.. I shouldnt have let them smash your cassettes..

Rock is actually … kinda rad….

________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

Of course this would end up being you…Look Whatever screwed up prank your pulling this isnt Candid camera.

ok, so save it. I …

________________________________

Player 1:

No I…. I mean it… I didn’t Know how

badly I had hurt you until it was too late ...

________________________________

UtahSuperstar7:

You have one thing right…

________________________________

Player 1:

And what would that be?

________________________________

Utahsuperstar7:

That its too late…

The person I used to be disapeared with my sister .

________________________________

That. That’s why she joined… cheer? To forget? To be someone else… she … never

________________________________

Player 1:

Wait… you never rebought the albums again?

________________________________

Utahsuperstar7:

Think of one reason I should have…

Bowie, Mecury , music in general you dont need it to live…

Suzie She had made a note before… to try and fix them she took them out of the..trash.

I was so annoyed with her because she stole my …doll after I agreed to be dress like it ffor halloween… I… whatever happened to her… I never got to tell her… The last thing I said to her… was I .. I wished I didn’t have a sister.

Look I liked rock once I liked a lot of things once. What was it you all said … No wonder I watch star…bullshit considering Im basically an alien myself?

How are you surprised I got the message loud and clear? The only reason I would’ve listened to it is… because she convinced me … before she disappeared before she stole my doll before the fight ….

I cant Listen to Hard Rock anymore … it … reminds me too much of her.

________________________________

Player 1:

Good thing those aren’t hard rock then…

________________________________

Utahsuperstar7:

Im sorry what?

________________________________

Player 1:

Those aren’t Hard rock they are Glam Rock…

________________________________

Utahsuperstar7:

how do you know…wait a minute!!!

You secretly listened to them too didn’t you?

Hypocrite…

________________________________

Michael was laughing he’d.. missed that…

However, as he went to reply the screen went Dark only a white glitching text Saying Error and a frozen chat box from

???:

Stop!

talking about what happened to me…

It hurts her. I wont let her hurt

like I do…

Stop!

The electrical outlet the games plugged into crackles and begins to steam ending whatever conversation Michael had been having

[bridgyrose]

AU where Blake and Ruby get switched as babies, and only find out when they go to introduce their SO (one another) to their parents.

Ruby paced around the dorm when she had heard the news: her parents were going to make their way out to Beacon to meet with her. It wasnt like she didnt want to see them, but after running away and reaching out on a whim from Blake, everything felt like it was moving quickly. With each step, she muttered under her breath as she tried to figure out the best way to handle this. 

“If you’re that nervous, maybe you should let them know,” Yang suggested. “I mean, dad doesnt come around for Blake or I unless we want him to. Maybe your parents will do the same.” 

“Its more complicated than that.” Ruby sighed and sat down to try to collect her thoughts a bit. “I dont not want them to come around, but I didnt… leave on great terms. I…. I said a lot of things that I regret and I know they’ll be upset with me.” 

Blake sat down next to Ruby and pulled her in close. “Its not like you joined the White Fang or anything like that. I bet they’ll be happy that you’re safe, healthy, and working on being a huntress.” 

Ruby nodded and gently brushed her fingers through her hair with a heavy breath. “And… you wouldnt mind be there with me when we meet them?” 

“Of course not. And… when you’re ready, you can meet my dad.” 

“I’d like that.” 

Blake smiled and kissed her cheek, helping her relax. “Everything will work out, I promise.” 

Ruby nodded and relaxed into her girlfriend. She pressed into Blake as her nerves started to melt away, her fears started to calm as her eyes closed. “Maybe we can take them around Vale tomorrow after they get here. I’m sure we can find a couple restaurants they’ll like.” 

“You just want fish again.” 

“Can you blame me? I grew up on an island where most of our food was fish, rice, and fruit. You sorta get used to it.” 

“I know.” Blake smiled and rubbed Ruby’s back. “All I ask is that you dont go overboard this time.” 

Ruby smiled and started to doze off a bit, answering sleepily. “You know me, overboard is my middle name.” 

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ghira paused as he looked over Blake, his eyes moving between her and Kali as he noted the similarities between the two. A nervous smile crossed his lips as he watched her bow to him. “Blake Xiao Long, right?” 

“Rose, actually.” Blake slowly extended her hand to him. “I took my late mother’s last name as a reminder on who I strive to be.” 

“I see…” Ghira winced as Kali jabbed him in the side. “She must’ve been a great huntress. And from the looks of it, you seem to be good for Ruby.” 

Ruby nodded and pulled Blake a little closer. “She’s helped me get onto the right path to being a huntress. And maybe you can get to know her a bit more over lunch?” 

Ghira nodded. “Your mother and I will meet up with you in Vale. And maybe we can meet Blake’s father later today. If he’s not busy.” 

Blake nodded. “I’ll give him a call and Ruby and I will make sure we’re ready to head out in a couple hours. Until then, we could show you to the gardens for you to relax while you wait.” 

“I think we’ll be able to find them on our own.” Ghira smiled and waved his daughter and her girlfriend off as he pulled Kali close to him and started to walk through the Beacon halls. His mind started to wander, only being brought back when Kali finally talked. 

“Blake’s supposed to be our daughter, isnt she?” Kali asked. 

“You noticed that too then?” 

“Hard not to when she looks similar to my own mother.” Kali leaned into and let out a heavy sigh. “I always wondered why her eyes were different when we brought her home, but I… guess I never questioned it. That doesnt make us bad parents, does it?” 

“Maybe, but its too late to correct that now. Ruby’s our daughter and she’s turning out to be much like you when you were younger. We’ve done something right with that.” 

Kali nodded a bit. “But you still worry that we’ve done something wrong, right? That by this whole mix up, we lost our daughter and took someone else’s?” 

Ghira shook his head, then sighed. “I’m worried about what will happen if her real father finds out and wants her back. We just got her back and I dont want to lose her again.” 

“We wont. We’ll fight tooth and nail to keep our daughter, and get to know the one we lost.”

[renjibozo]

episode 7 thoughts dump (part 1/2)

(this will be referencing this post of mine and this one too)

(part 2 because this is getting too long)

ok so putting things under a cut again bc spoilers obviously <333

(edited a bit because damn i wrote this on a whim)

OK SO ! most of my predictions are. somewhat correct, if not just misplaced in the wrong areas of the episode

the episode IS centered around rei having to realize that kazuki's role in the house is difficult because he has to take care of so much (laundry, cooking, getting miri ready early and sent off to daycare) so i wasn't wrong about that

this conversation is very nice to listen to as well because the thing of kazuki taking care of almost everything if not everything in the house is finally addressed! and they talk about it! somewhat. to mixed results

and he is doing his best my god he is doing his best you're doing so great you cringefail of a man (/pos) but i'm glad that this episode pushed him to a point where he just realizes he has to help kazuki more

this minute pause spoke to me so much because he was about to yell at her but stopped himself before he could..... amazing little detail

OK. NOW. THE SCENE THAT SPAWNED THIS ENTIRE POST. there must've been some kind of falling out between rei + miri and kazuki because he was screaming "I'm... not your housekeeper!" during dinner i'm suspecting that they finally got on his nerves if they never pick up after themselves properly or just the small stuff piled up onto kazuki and he had enough despite usually not really minding the fact that he has to do most if not all of the house chores but another theory i have is that the scene with the photograph is connected and because of the stress, it leads up to him taking it out on rei and miri. i'm distraught i don't want to see this episode but i have to. mfs gonna have a sk8 episode 7 situation and i'm powerless to stop it

recalling this from the second linked post, they do have some kind of falling out!!! and it does refer to the fact that they don't pick up after themselves!!! (and that they don't try to make it easier for kazuki himself)

the other theory is wrong because the thing with his wife doesn't really come up until karin's in the picture ok no i worded that incorrectly, thank you person who replied under the post

the scene is connected! but it did start off from the start of the episode itself, and his the stress that leads up to him going on strike is just from rei and miri not appreciating what he does enough..... poor unappreciated malewife

but yeah they did end up having a sk8 episode 7 but without them actually arguing in person, kazuki just dipped and left early in the morning

he really said he's not going to be coming back home for a while and they can fend for themselves

and kazuki seems to be on a solo mission, which is probably something rei and miri knows about considering they dont look too panicked by kazuki’s absence (rei looks a little frazzled from the daunting housework chores he has to deal with)

(episode 7 trailer post) ok so the solo part is wrong, but now we do know that rei and miri know that kazuki's out of the house and rei is frazzled by the housework

the day of reckoning has arrived for one suwa rei frfr..... it only took one whole day without kazuki doing things for him to realize

kazuki was nice enough to leave notes around for him so he doesn't get TOO lost trying to prepare miri

this means that since they got miri, he hasn't been going out to fool around in the night life and is at home taking care of miri and rei..... interesting

onto the more meatier part of the episode, THE TRAUMA !!! ill go back to the fluff when we're done here <3333 let's start with rei's since it's the tamer part and since we're on the topic of rei having to experience what it's like to be the sole caretaker of the house for once

he cant cook and doesn't know which plate in the fridge is for eating

this reminds me of the very first episode where kazuki tells rei that he left food in the fridge for him that he didn't eat because it was cold

maybe because kazuki papa wants you two to have a balanced meal !!!! also the laundry left out on the couch.... did kazuki just never fold it?

he does not know her schedule At All (to be fair, so does she in some way but the point stands)

but he does have a calendar that he did not check before leaving probably out of panic

time to nitpick a little at rei's choices with good intentions (he's doing his best but these are Not It fr)

why is miri being exposed to the rain like this!!! should've taken the car i feel like because this right here

is what leads to this

poor miri got sick and rei doesn't know what to do so he immediately calls kazuki who doesn't pick up

so he thinks of an alternative,

but the medicine isn't allowed for anybody below 12 so he thinks of another alternative,

but he doesn't know where the hospital is!!! so he ends up in kyutaro's doorstep as a last resort....

[confessions-official]

idk what 2 warn this as. abuse?? grooming?? toxic relationship probably, sry. also the r, n, and f slur

when i was 13 i entered a long-distance "relationship" with (at the time) an australian 15 yearold and it was sososo great from what i can remember. my memory is shit so i cant remember very much from then but i remember it being very nice. we had a conversation about her feminity (at the time she didnt know she was trans) and i said some shit (HEAVILY paraphrasing) reminding her that she could just Be a girl if she wanted and then she Did. and then i had a girlfriend it was a very nice year. anyway.

few months after that it was fine but then everything kept dissolving into arguments. and idk if i'm just kinda fucked up and neurotic (i tend to react badly 2 rejection of any kind and that wasnt her fault whatsoever) but i think most of the arguments were about me being upset that we werent playing a game together or me feeling left out. we both had a mutual friend and we did so much shit together.

and then it just kept getting worse! the arguments escalated (or they were getting more direct i dont think it was ever about the games) and instead of games the arguments were about how she was treating me. i repeatedly accused her of ignoring the uglier parts of me in favor of my "caring nature". idk how to describe it. i strongly felt, and still kind of feel that she just wanted me to be her mommy who would shower her in endless affection, because whenever i would get into a gloomier mood (because of her or not, mostly not) she would take offense to it.

i also have. anger issues? idk i'm very reactive sometimes and it also forced a lot of arguments out over useless shit

i also sent her a package at some point with a hoodie and some fucking thigh socks she encouraged me to buy when i was eleven or ten. unfortunately it took like 4 months to show up and it felt like every single moment of our time together was her asking about the package. When was it coming has the status changed yet is it in australia yet? it pissed me off so much because it felt like she was just!! using me for clothes!! but i also understand because her family is a crock of shit who wouldn't accept or support her wearing or buying more feminine clothing, and this was one of the only ways she could feel girly.

it eventually bubbled over to the point where i blocked her on all social media platforms and we began arguing heatedly over email. and she sent me this wonderful string of emails where she was kissing/asking to kiss me (something that i fucking HATE – i do not want to be flirted with or called petnames while we argued, i nake this very clear), telling me that we both loved each other, and sent methis fantastic fucking email about how she was excited to see me hang myself on facebook whilst also calling me an unlovable neurodivergent retard.

i have it saved on my phone and it honestly makes me laugh now because of how fucking weirdly its worded. like a bad 4chan copypasta. but anyway lol

that hit especially awful at the time bc i was researching autism because i was 99% sure something wasnt clicking in my brain AND i was having ongoing issues with my mom. i had a massive breakdown in which i stopped speaking to her for 6 months which were the most miserable points of my life. i had to switch emails bc she just kept spamming me while i was having a meltdown!

i think i just got overbearingly lonely at that point bc sometime in 2023 iirc i reached out to her again and we got back together! somehow.

the arguments got even worse and we were on-and-off for a Long time. i was regularly blocking her and arguing with her every other day-ish and jesus fucking christ it was awful! Bad!!!

then our mutual friend turned out to be transphobic and she continued being friends with him ?! and this still really confuses me bc.. i remember being in a voice call with him and he was repeatedly using the incorrect pronouns and did not respond seriously when i corrected him. and i brought it up with her multiple times and she was like Naw dont worry about it??? idk man maybe theres something i was missing???

there was also this time that i told her about how i got groomed twice when i was younger because i trusted her to not tell anyone about it. and then she turned around and Told Our Mutual Friend about it. >_>

AND THE WHOLE GENDER SHIT i'm someone who uses every/all pronouns interchangably and is somewhat genderfluid. i came out to her multiple times because she. kept forgetting i wasnt cis!

at the time i was just using "all pronouns" but my gf kept using feminine terms for me and she/her prns for me and i kept asking her to stop doing that. but she did not. so it turned into an argument where i was telling her that i didnt want her to cherrypick the parts of my identity she liked the most and that i wasnt even a woman. it took her multiple months afterwards to even Begin using masculine terms for me >_> altho it is mainly my fault because i didnt really specify what i meant by "all pronouns" (but she also never asked !?)

recently, about 3~ weeks ago, like a week before my bday, we broke up again. this time it was way messier because i'm not moving my email again. its also permanent i would rather someone put me down than make me go back to talking to her

i finally realized that a newly 15 year old Shouldn't be dating someone who was going to turn 18 in the same fucking year! i blocked her on everything, bur she still had my email so we were arguing over Email again. she went on a racist tangent, repeatedly calling me a stupid white girl and refering to me with the n-slur in the same sentence (i am of mixed race). she also told me it was fine because she was also mixed race and "i'm calling you my homie" which is. yeah! i think she also said something abt me being a fag or whatever but maybe not. i deleted most of her emails as they came in so i dont remember >_>

i also said some awful transphobic shit to her about her pretending to be a girl so she could get closer to me which i. cannot say how much i regret saying that awful crap! it's definitely not reflective of my opinions and my morals, i was trying to get under her skin at the time and more some fucking reason that seemed like the best thing to dig my nails into. it was fucked up with me and if things werent like how they are i would apologize for it immediately.

i havent talked to her since the racist shit nor do i really want to but shes began spamming me with different accounts on another social media platform we're both on. and idk what im going to end up doing about it other than blocking.

these last like 3 years have been Dog Shit i tell ya! sorry 4 the long ask also DEAR GOD ??

 

[hexcryingwolf]

hey so, like,

i need somebody close to glip to confront them about the Pearl thing.

i need someone to be as upset about the idea of it as i am.

i need it to be the last straw for somebody.

because if none of that happens, i cant even articulate how horrid that is. that the prospect of this accusation doesnt upset people.

i hope its not true. i hope with every fiber of my being that it didnt happen.

but i fully believe it did. four years after leaving that space my want was still for glip to heal, stop hurting people, and become a better person. i was still pretty scared of them, but i had pretty much moved on by the beginning of this year. there was nothing i could do about it, and sharing my experiences would just put a target on my back anyway, so as a lot of huge life changes were on the horizon for me i felt prepared to let go.

but i cant let this go. after years of tending the wounds that community inflicted on my this was a knife directly into my heart.

remember that political thing that happened in november 2016? i was in the flora irc by that time, and everyone was very rattled by it. glip announced that, to put some good into the world, theyd do a commission for anyone who donated x amount to y charity (i dont remember the specifics). id been a fan of glip's for years at that point, and this was an opportunity to finally have something id wanted for a long time.

a portrait of my cat, who i got as a baby, who passed away after almost twenty-one years, from my favourite artist.

they truly did a wonderful job with it. it looked so much like him. i dont have a lot of photos of him, he lived in the pre-smartphone era, so this was a precious thing to me. i had it printed, i got a frame, i hung it on my wall. it meant everything to me.

after all of the stuff that happened to me and leaving flora, it became tainted. now instead of reminding me of something i loved dearly it reminded me of something that hurt me badly. i couldnt get rid of it though. i took it off the wall, out of the frame, and slotted it onto a shelf where i could still see it, if i wanted to. it felt really awful, but i knew i loved that cat more than i could ever fear glip, so maybe someday i could look at it again without being reminded of them. maybe someday that portrait could go back up on my wall as an expression of love for my first best friend.

then i was told about what they had supposedly done to Pearl. and when i tell you i fucking bluescreened when i heard that... it fucking shattered me. it was a cold knife in my heart. the dog stuff was horrid of course but, something about this just broke something in me.

i had to walk away from my phone. i had to go find one of my cats and just. i just sat on the floor and pet her as she lay on the futon and purred and trusted me utterly, like im sure Pearl did for you, glip. she knows i love her, that i provide for her, that i would never bring harm to her. i just sat with her and cried.

im crying now, writing this. my hands are shaking.

do you care, glip?

my husband came to check on me, i told him what i was told and he was disgusted, the correct response. he was angry. he was angry. and for the first time in years, i wasnt scared of glip anymore.

i was fucking pissed.

i wish i didnt have to explain why, because it should be damn fucking obvious, but let me lay it out: a person's pet is their ward. we have a duty and responsibility to do everything we can to give the best lives possible for the animals we bring into our lives. we are their source of food, shelter, healthcare, everything. we are their world. and they should be able to trust that we would never use them for something selfish, because here's the thing: they don't understand the world as we do. theyre animals, they simply cant. WE are the ones who know right from wrong and act for them accordingly. WE keep them fed. WE keep them safe. WE make that final decision that they cant make when their suffering is to much to bear anymore. they trust us to do the things for them they can never understand.

we dont use them for our own sexual gratification. we dont do this because they dont understand that theyre being used, they have no context for how they are being treated, they dont know it shouldnt be happening.

they are helpless.

they are voiceless.

they are the perfect victim.

like a baby who will never grow up and tell everyone the truth.

like a baby, glip. like a helpless, voiceless baby.

and dont you ever fucking try to play the "well she initiated it" card. animals initiate all kinds of shit they shouldnt, things that are dangerous, could hurt them, could make them sick. knowing better is OUR job.

also. uhm. hey. did you know that "well they started it" is a thing child predators have said, do say, will say, about their victims.

here's a 10yo who "came onto" her abuser

here's a dad who claimed his daughter was just "a sexual kid"

here's a daycare worker who said the 1yo he abused was "promiscuous"

and you, glip. using Pearl because she was just "showing you love". just because its a "nicer" reason doesnt make you any fucking different from these monsters in my eyes.

i could not look at that portrait anymore. how could i ever look at him, and not remember what you do to helpless creatures like him. how could i think about what you did and remember you telling me no, of course marl never touched the cats, when i asked you if you were concerned that he might have. seems my worry was misplaced.

i burned the portrait. i took a small cast iron pot into my yard, ripped it to shreds, and spent a two hundred count box of matches on it. one wasnt enough. ten wasnt enough. one hundred wasnt enough. i did not want this thing to exist anymore. i did not want him, my cat, my first best friend, that piece of my soul that left this earth with him, to ever be able to be associated with you. that fire is burning in me now.

i do not capitalize your name anymore explicitly because you are subhuman by my standards. i do not want you to find healing and get better. i want you to face the consequences for all the hurt youve cause. i want you deplatformed so you can finally stop putting so much agony into the world.

if you didnt do it, youll have to convince me. you know my discord.

if you did do it, admit it. tell everyone what you did. you owe it to people so they can decide whether they want to associate with you or not based on it. i think if someone asks you directly, you wont lie about it.

because you dont believe you did anything wrong, do you?

[bullet-ant]

im going to try to describe in as few words as i possibly can why i think i developed avoidant personality disorder and offer some insight into how it has affected me personally. (i apologize if its constructed messily Lol)

first, i am going to quickly describe a memory and discuss my dad because i think it gives some good backstory to the points im about to describe:

when i was five years old, i had just received some incredibly good news while i was at home with my father who had just got the news too

i was absolutely brimming with so much joy and love and adoration for my dad in that moment that i wanted to tell him i loved him. i knew better than to do so, because he would always withdraw and wretch at me when i did, but i was just so happy and full of love. i thought maybe, since the news was good, he wouldnt wretch at me for saying it this time, so i took the risk and said it. "i love you", saturated with pools and pools of my deepest love and affection for him—it came bursting out of my heart.

he did immediately proceed to wretch at me, right in my face, and the joy and love i felt was instantaneously extinguished. suddenly i no longer cared about the good news. i never said those words to anyone ever again (even to this day as an adult i have not uttered that phrase to anyone since LOL). from this, i internalized my fathers disgust for me—for my identity—as something inherently wrong and gross with me at my core.

this was just one memory of thousands. my dad humiliated and degraded me in millions of other ways my entire childhood—it was chronic—and he let me know everyday that i was unloved.

every time i made the mistake of expressing myself in front of him he would reject me, so i put myself on lockdown and learned not to give anyone anything to humiliate or degrade or reject me with. if i give my dad nothing—if i express no feeling—hell, if i just turn all my feelings off—then i'll never experience the urge to express myself, and therefore will never experience the rejection that i know is imminent.

i perceive everything as though its an attack on my identity because that is all i ever knew. being myself never once yielded me love—it only ever yielded certain rejection and subsequently utter humiliation. in everyone i see daily reminders of who i was to my dad—cringeworthy, disgusting, shameful, humiliating, and most importantly, unlovable.

there was a certain point where i decided that, if that was how everyone was going to see me, it wasnt worth being seen at all. i decided that the only person worthy of knowing me was me. i shut down and split myself into two selves. my "false self"—whose job it is to handle all people-related dealings and guard the "true self"—the version of me that is really me.

when i am acting as the "false self", i am anhedonic. i struggle with the flat effect and to put the correct facial expressions on my face at the right times. the false self is mild, phony, and unfeeling. her job is to nod her head and always say all the right things without ever having to say too much; she says just enough to get people off my back. i am always acting as the false self so long as i am around another person—be it my family, friends, coworkers, etc. It is impossible for me to trust or even love anybody no matter how "close" they are to me because I am burdened with the knowledge that none of these people could ever truly love me back. they can (and will) reject me at any moment i let my guard down.

i often have a tendency to aggressively lash out at everyone because by default i assume their primary objective in trying to know me is just to reject (and further humiliate) me. obviously this is a problematic behavior, and it only serves to make me even less easy to love while also driving more and more people out of my life

when i expressed to my father that i loved him and he rejected me, humiliation and rejection became a trigger for me. nobody likes rejection—this is true—but i dont like rejection because i experienced it chronically, every waking day of my childhood. that is much different from someone who only experienced the normal amount of rejection on occasion or every so often. when rejection is chronic, it becomes impossible to separate it from who you are. it will make you feel as though you are on fire—i believe it's why avoidants fear it so viscerally

these are just a few of my thoughts; if you read this far thank you!!! please feel welcome to add your own insights or ideas (if any). this disorder is a massive iceberg, this post cant even begin to cover every way it has degraded the quality of my life. if you have any your own thoughts dont be afraid to share them👋

[wisteria-empress]

My dear living adventure to escape (SECOND CHAPTER and sabigiyu ship)

Author's note

Hey so I have decided to publish chapter two a bit earlier then wanted cause I wanted to publish 3 chapters at a time

(3rd pov)

-Well that was weird I guess but that could help us- he thought to himself as giyu was walking back to the his room that he shared with tsutako he wondered how the plan will even work 

"Oh giyu your back what took you so long?" Tsutako asked

"Sabito was just being weird,also I wanted to talk"

"About what?"

"Is it possible to go on a trip with Sabito and I don't know how long it'll last"

"I'm not too sure giyu your still pretty young"

"Nee-San I think I'll be okay"

"Well if you say so also GET YOU ASS TO SLEEP"

"Why?"giyu groaned while he was basically asking to be disowned by tsutako 

Both tsutako and giyu went to bed before they heard another knock on the door,it was a guard doing nightly check ups

(EPIC TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY MY UNSTABLE MENTAL HEALTH)

When is was quite early Sabito bust into tsutako and giyu room

"WAKE UP GIYU!!!!!"

"SHUT UP SABITO ITS LITERALLY 8 AM!"

"so what? Is a great day and besides makomo already set us up for that inn"

"Why?" Giyu asked

"did you fucking forget she was gonna set up a in for us for the trip "sabito responded to Giyu forgetfulness 

"What trip again"Giyu thought to himself

"Look either way she set up that inn so we should be good" Sabito said

Sabito is a good kid but a stupid one as well like getting strip and stripe mixed up as well as use the wrong "their"a bunch of times which Giyu always has to correct

"What trip exactly Sabito?"Tsutako was questioning Sabito she was concerned though what are they planning?

"Oh nothing important really just a 2 week trip" Sabito reasponed to Tsutako's question

"Well it seems Important of it's a 2 week trip And GIYU why haven't you told me yet"she was now questioning both boys which Giyu also has to think of an excuse why he hasn't told her yet

"Well I forgot and it was kinda last minute.also didny i ask you last night?" that was the best excuse that giyu could come up with which was pretty shitty if you ask me(author)

"But can I go?" Giyu knew the answer just as well as Sabito they both knew Tsutako would say yes to anything her brother asks 

"No." her answer was plain and simple. Let me rephrase that "they thought they knew that Tsutako would say yes to anything Giyu asks"

"WHAT WHY?" Giyu questioned his older sister

"I'm just joking of course you can go,but if you come back even a second late you ass is dead" her tone was more serious then before but at least she said yes 

"Thank you,thank you,thank you," Giyu acknowledge his older sister answer he even went in for a hug and Tsutako returned the hug 

"Well shouldn't you be off now?" Tsutako asked

"No we're leaving tonight" Giyu answered

"That's good that means you're gonna help me cook dinner tonight am I right?" She has a grin on her face giyu knew she has won just then and there that he would have to help to the bitter end here at the palace

"UHHHHH IM GOING NOW BYE" Giyu rushed out the door dragging Sbaito with him he isn't gonna make Sabito talk his way to make him do more work around the castle 

"Wha-" "shut your ugly was mouth before I see it tight" Sabito was cut of as well as threaten 

" so you can sew do you mind sewing one of my jackets?" Sabito asked

" do it yourself asshole" Giyu responded 

"nuh uh princes order sew my jacket please" Sabito had a smirk on his face and Giyu was about to slap it right off before lady Kizana Came And pounce on Giyu

"GET AWAY FROM MY PRINCE YOU COMMONER"She shouted

"Your prince?" Giyu questioned her 

" Yes my prince you commoner " Kizana knew she had the upper hand since she was of royal blood

"Well if you asked m'lady" Giyu was already bowing down to her he probably already realise that's the whore Sabito has to marry and Giyu was leaving as well

"GIYU WAIT UP DONT LEAVE ME HERE WITH HER😢" he said that but Giyu was already leaving him behind with that bimbo of a women

But he said something before he left I wonder what it is

Author note

Hello so the chapteris gonna end here since I wrote this at 1 am sorry if it's short the next chapter will come shortly I'll try my best with the team (they suck) but remember to drink some water and if you have any song request to put on the next chapter I'll an sure to add it 

Final word count:855

[werewolfsonpage211]

trans and autistic

this is just my personal account of how i feel being autistic has effected my transition. these experiences are in no way exclusive to being autistic and trans. i havent seen a post like this so i thought why not make it. cw gender dysphoria.

change. i dont like change.* unfortunately its kinda what transitioning is all about. when i first realised i was trans i thought i would never tell anyone. when i realised i wanted top surgery i cried. i kept questioning for years if top surgery was right for me because the idea of purposefully changing my body like that was so foreign to me. and yet i wanted it. it felt wrong to want it. it took long to get over my own bias that plastic surgery is unnatural or selfish and to accept why i myself wanted and needed it. after all that soul searching it was comparatively easier to realise i also wanted hrt. hrt means many small changes happening gradually, which made it easier for me to get comfortable with the idea. the fact that you can microdose it and that you can stop the treatment whenever you want to absolutely helped. it also helped to "try out" some of the effects. do i want a lower voice? i could feel it out by lowering my voice and doing voice training exercises (ofc not the same result as hrt but you get it). do i want more body hair? i reflected on how i felt about the sparse but present body hair i already have, and how it felt to find new hairs (euphoria!!) also ngl the tiktok beard filters helped. *thats a simplification, but many forms of change make me feel uncomfortable.

communication. i felt i needed to be absolutely 100% sure about my identity before coming out to Anyone. i struggle with unclear communication/instructions so i tend to assume other people also prefer more details rather than less details + i fear that other people will missunderstand me if im not clear enough. and in order to be clear i felt like i needed to Know beyond a doubt my gender, pronous and name. this lead to me being in the closet longer + seeking care later than i probably would have otherwise.

emotions. i struggle with anticipating other peoples reactions to stuff. i feared how my parents might react - would they cry? would they argue with me? would they think i was weird? and theyve literally been so chill about it. i would say my bar was on the floor but there really was no bar, i had no expectations at all because i couldnt even guess.

change again! asking people to use new pronouns and a new name. i first came out with using all pronouns. i now use he/they. saying i used all pronous felt easier because it meant no correcting people. turns out it wasnt right for me, and i kinda already knew that when i came out. but i felt i had to take it in small steps. i was never the one to cannonball into the water from the diving tower. i walk in slowly, one step at a time, rather putting my body through every small shock of cold against my skin than that one big shift. to some it might seem like self torture but to me it is the more comfortable choice. i wanted to come out but i wasnt ready to ask people to stop using she/her. so "all pronouns" became a stepping stone, one i am very grateful for. some people want nothing to do with their old name. im changing mine to the masculine coded version of my old name. calling it a new name is rich seeing as im just removing a few letters. i want the change to be as undramatic as possible, for both me AND for everyone else. other people being uncomfortable makes me feel Super uncomfortable. with the small change im making its easy to cover up if the worng name slips out. to me, my old and new names dont even have to be regarded as different names, just variations of the same name. yeah, i prefer the masc version, but tbh i will answer to anything that sounds remotely like my name. i just want it to be uncomplicated. in the same vein, my prefered pronouns are he/they, but im not going to correct everyone who calls me she/her. when and on whom i use that energy will be highly circumstantial.

special interests. ive done a lot of research. ive read a lot about gender affirming care, what it can (and cant) do, where and how you can get it, what people who have gotten it have to say. ive watched a lot of trans youtubers video essays and commentary, a lot of top surgery vlogs, and several videos made by medical professionals documenting the surgical procedure of detitification itself. ive joined several internet communities on facebook, discord and reddit to take part in other trans peoples knowledge, experiences and thoughts. ive prepared and held presentations on being trans on tdov. and i tend to forget that not every trans person ...does all that. (which is not a critique, i know its a lot.) (which is not a brag, i know im weird.)

societal norms. gender roles are weird right? and the whole concept of gender? thinking about it can give me a headache. i think autistic people are slightly more likely than allistic people to question the gender binary, simply because were more likely to not conform to social/societal norms. i initially identified only as non-binary. now i identify as a non-binary trans man. i do still wonder why i identify as a man - what makes me a man, what makes anyone a man, what makes me feel like a man. and i hate to say it, but i havent come up with a satisfactory answer. i just do. it doesnt completely make sense to me, but it makes more sense than anything else. at this point ive just accepted that some things give me gender euphoria, some things give me gender dysphoria, and all in all i think "man" describes me fairly well. i also think if id been amab i wouldve still identified as non-binary, just not had as much dysphoria nor required as much gender affirming care. i could go into further detail on my exact gender identity, but i also dont feel the need to be super open about it. not everyone needs to know every part of my identity. most people only need my name and pronouns. and as i said, i like it uncomplicated.

hey share your own experiences of being trans and autistic if you like? in tags/just add on to the post! i probably will if i think of more

[midnights-in-love]

"Why have you been so difficult all day?"

"Because," she chides with a mischievous smile.

"You know that's not an answer. Answer me."

She keeps staring at me, challenging me, and has run out my patience. "That's it," I say, pushing her onto her bed, "you're getting what's coming to you."

"What are you doing?"

"If you're going to be such a disobedient little girl, I'm going to treat you like one." I flip her over onto her stomach and pull her onto my lap, wrapping my right arm around her torso so she can't move. "I have been giving you chance after chance and you haven't corrected yourself, so I have to correct you."

"Daddy, I don't see the big deal, I was just messing with you-" Smack. A dull spank to her soft bottom through her panties.

"How many times am I going to have to spank you before you fix your attitude, hm?"

"I don't have an attitude!" Smack. "Mhmm..."

Her voice trails off into a low hum. "You little slut. You dont even feel sorry, *and* youre getting turned on?"

"No, I'm not!"

"Oh yeah?" I pull down her panties and see how much shes already started leaking. "Are you sure you want to keep lying to Daddy?"

"I'm....I'm sorry, I-"

"It's too late for apologies. If you want to take your punishment and make it a big joke, I'm going to laugh, too."

I suck on the middle three fingers of my left hand to get them nice and wet before sliding them into her. "AHh!" She clenches around me and I feel her front twitching against my leg.

"I'm going to use you like the bratty whore you're acting like, and we're not stopping until I've made a big, weeping mess out of you. Remind you who you're disrespecting."

"Daddy, please..." she whines, being replaced with uh-uh-uh's, roughly riding back and forth on Daddy's fingers. After a few minutes, I feel a warmth against my leg, and she tries to get up.

I use the arm wrapped around her torso to stabilize her flat again, this time with more force. Smack. This time, sharp, on her bare bottom. "I didn't say you could get up. I told you when we're stopping, and it's after you're begging for forgiveness." A few more spanks and a couple hours of edging long after her first couple orgasms faded, she's crying and apologizing.

"Please, s-sorry da- mmm- pl- PLEASE-"

Feeling an absolute shift from her attitude previously, I relent. Slowly sliding her limp body up to face mine, I hold her against my chest and stroke her pretty hair.

"All is forgiven. The first part was a fun-ishment, the second was a punishment. You know what you did, and you took your punishment like a good girl. I love you. Come on."

I scoop her up and get her to a nice, warm bath, into some soft pajamas, and cuddle for the rest of the night watching her favorite movies. I love my little girl so much and I want her to feel safe and loved. Tomorrow is a new day, and she's very obiedient.

[baggythebag]

nethervillage mess chap 1

hi hi hi this is baggy and this is my first fic here :3 hope you enjoy it&lt;;33

warnings: cursing,violence,death

3rd perso POV:

she woke up from her 34min sleep that's all she get for a couple of days sadly,but she doesn't mind since it make her more awake and ready for a fight,just in case, she forced her legs to move and get out of bed she went to the dirty bathroom the old owners didnt bother to take care of it one bit 'but who is she to blame them' though to her self .looking at her self in the mirror, sad,broken,tired ,and lonley thats what you will see on her face. ''Farah T.M. '' thats the young women's name , but people call them the angry shadow ….she had been hiding in this old building since the enemy is looking for her, and got stuck for 4 years in this disgusting place ,her11 years old self didnt find another home,but she would rather be here than under his control and none stopping abuse.

If you didnt know-which U DONT-this woman had been an agent for this man..lets call him Mr.S…., where she killed , poisoned,and kidnapped targets at the age of 9.we know it seem impossible but they had a power that made them seem like a strong human ,she did her job with cold eyes ,my life wasn't good before either: abusive father and a dump but kind mother wasn't the best ship that is ,so i ran,and i was forced to the join the KNE(KidNightEater)and today she'll try and escape this hell of a place she had to put a plan. this city known as nethervillage or the zombie land , is the most least safe place it's almost on an apocalypse, and its -Ohio like- state is going down with the lead of S. she stepped out the window with a backpack ready to jump out ,she gave a little confidence to her self , saying:'' the second i take a step out my life will take a new page a new beginning,a new-'' .gun shots.

Unknown POV:

'' target Farah #367 down ''she talked into the mic and turned my back and i calmly walked away from the body she was me , that Farah was me..in another universe of course! . ''I want a smoothie''Farah talked to herself'' I need to get the fuck out of here first tho-''

3rd person POV(againn)

with that being said she heard a growling noise behind her , she turned to her back and there it was a zombie running full speed at her, the strong women panicked and ran as fast as possible DONT GET PAID ENOUGH FOR THIS!'' she shouts while running but quickly corrected herself ''NO WAIT, THEY DO-'' .after the long run our hero ran out of ideas so she grabbed her gun ''I forgot I had this thing on me, damn'' she stopped and kneed down, pointing her bloody gun at the hungry zombie's eyes, shooting them ''enjoy being a blind little girl, or boy, or person don't care''. she took her cigarette out burning the tip of it and took a breath, she had to relax somehow, this was too tiring for her ''god that was awful, im late again'' .shadow arrived at the KNA base and put her clown costume on '' this clown wig is itchy can i get another'' asked the 15 years old girl hoping for something more comfortable, but the staff just ignored her like she was a crazy person talking to herself, Farah -angry and pissed- walked through the teleporting door they used to do their missions this time she had to do the ultimate task kidnap her old self they name them the o.children Farah exited the door and looked around carefully to not draw attention to herself, but she failed by stepping on a broken bottle of booze ''h-hmm…'' the bed twitched announcing that she woke that person.

welp this is the end for now :3 but i'll post chap 2 soon

SEE Y'ALL &lt;;33 btw this is a little image of what Farah look like hehe

made with picrew

[milkacchan]

Some self indulgent peakyblinders x sister reader

Requests for the peaky blinders are open :) I'm only on S2 tho but we binging so 😈😈

Cw: Coming out, Panic attack

"Uh-" you looked around the room, everyone was hear. They stared curiously.

She called a fucking family meeting.

Of course she did, it was Ada. Ada fucking 'I think I can solve everything' Shelby.

"Go on then, spit it out." She crossed her arms and leaned against the wall.

"Ada," you hiss, glancing at her before returning your gaze to the boys.

"You have to. It'll help." She shrugged. "They won't care."

"You don't fucking know that. You have /no/ way of knowing that."

"Yes I do. I'm their sister."

"So am I!"

"Tell us what?" Arthur frowned, leaning against his chair.

"They won't care." She repeated.

"They very well fucking could."

"They won't-"

"And what if they do! Contrary to your belief, Ada, you don't fucking know everything. You don't make super bright decisions. Believe it or not, your brothers don't think the same way you do-"

"Care about what!" Tommy rose his voice to interrupt the commotion between the two of you.

"I don't want to marry a man! Okay...I don't," fuck. You took a deep breath. "I dont want to marry a man. I don't like men."

It was silent in the room. The boys sat in their respective chairs, polly stood in the corner. Your stomach sank. "Oh fuck," you whisper.

You were gonna loose your spot in the family, it was hard enough as it is to keep it with everything going on, they'd disown you, you were sure- christ you'd be on the streets. You were about to lose everything you held dear because your sister didn't want to wait.

It was hard to breathe then, silence surrounded you and rang in your ears. The world was moving, you were sure.

"Hey," Tommy started standing up and walking over to you, "deep breath, take a deep breath."

The words didn't seem to register, instead your knees buckled beneath you. Tommy was there to catch you of course, and for a moment you reached out to grab his jacket, before desperately trying to push away.

Christ you didn't want it to start now. You shoved back a little harder.

"Finn," he grunted. Finn immediately knelt behind you, wrapping his arms around your torso to pull you back only slightly.

"Hey, hey now," he tried.

"Ada," Polly hissed, "why would you make her say that in front of them?"

"I was trying to help!"

"Clearly she wasn't fucking ready!"

"I'm sorry," you whisper out, when you've managed to clock back into the world long enough for coherent thought. "I'm sorry- I- I tried to change it, and fuck fuck-" you struggled to take another breath.

Tommy was still kneeling in front of you, scanning your face. You looked down at your skirt and picked at the fabric nervously.

"It's okay," Finn spoke, "you don't have to be sorry, it's okay. Nothin' wrong with ya."

"I don't-"

"Hush now," Tommy lifted your chin so you'd look up at him. "Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is wrong with you. We don't care, it doesn't change how we see you. It doesn't change the fact that you're our little sister, you understand?"

You nodded slightly, sniffling as your head fell foward to your brothers shoulder.

"I'll get her some water," Pol nodded curtly, pulling Ada with her into the next room.

"You thought we'd care?" Aurthurs voice came. He sounded dejected almost, he sounded sad. Baffled that you'd be so terrified.

You nod weakly, "I did," you mutter, the words muffled by your place in Tommy's shoulder. "Thought you'd hate me for it."

"But Pol knew."

"Wasn't by my choice. She caught me kissing a girl about a year ago."

"Where?"

"My room." You groan.

"The redhead? What was her name..."

"Her name was Claire."

"But Pol wasn't upset-" John frowned.

"Doesn't mean you wouldn't be."

"You're still our sister," John hummed, smiling slightly. "I mean- Ada married a communist, had a baby with him too. That's worse than anything you just threw at us."

You snorted. "I suppose you're right on that."

"You know we don't care right? Same rules apply, if she treats you wrong, she dies."

"Yeah," you mumble. "Sorry," you rubbed your face in embarrassment. It'd been years since your last panic attack, you didn't think you'd have another one again. "Didn't mean to uh- to freak out."

"No matter," he squeezed your cheek gently before kissing your forehead.

"I for one," Finn helped you stand. "Think it's good that we can talk about girls together."

"And that we don't have to worry about you getting pregnant."

"Arthur," Tommy hissed.

"It's true!"

"You promise you don't care? You're not going to kick me out?"

"Never," Tommy hums.

The chorus of your 4 brothers follow.

"Is uh- is that why you can't sit on a chair right?" Arthur asks, scratching his cheek.

"Yeah you have no idea how to sit on a chair right, an impossible task for you." John snickered.

"And the suits is that why you wear suits?" It's Finns turn now, he's moved from next to you to next to Tommy.

"Yes," you rolled your eyes. "It's actually common knowledge that biologically gays aren't able to sit correct. No, it's just uncomfortable to sit like Ada or Pol does all the time. And I wear plenty of dresses too, wearing one right now. But suits have pockets and I like pockets." You state, matter of factly.

"You do sit like a man though." Tommy smiled. "Leaning foward, legs apart, elbow on your knee."

"Oh fuck off Tommy, it's comfortable."

[atlabeth]

nightmares - mike munroe x reader

summary: It was a deal made by two almost-friends in the early hours of the morning after the worst night of their lives, when they realized that all they really had left was each other.

a/n: so this is once again. not my normal content but ive been on an until dawn kick lately and fell in love w the characters all over again. i dont know if anyone still reads or writes for this fandom but. here u go. enjoy

warning(s): lots of cursing, canon typical violence, mentions of graphic violence/death (but nothing too descriptive), mentioned depression, insomnia, and alcoholism, some heavy themes but its hurt/comfort so it ends in fluff

wc: 4.8k

You were running.

You were running, and it was freezing — fuck, it was freezing.

You knew your surroundings; how could you ever forget? Every fucking moment on the goddamn mountain was engraved into your mind for what you assumed would be the rest of your life, an assumption that had since been proven correct.

And now, against your will, you were back. Of course you were back.

A shudder ran through your whole body as that all-too-familiar screech rang out behind you, each second of it like nails on a chalkboard in the worst way. Your lungs burned like all hell but you couldn’t stop — if you stopped, you were as good as dead.

Some part of this fucked up thing was almost funny. Humans were always boasting about how they were the top of the food chain, how they were the height of evolution. There was nothing to keep an ego in check like being hunted by a supernatural creature.

Any thoughts of bullshit philosophy were dashed from your mind as you took a hard right, nearly falling over from the sharp curve of the mountain but just able to catch yourself. Your heart was thundering in your chest, the beats nearly lining up with your sprinting. You felt an intense urge to turn around, try and gauge your chances, but the thought of slowing down for even a second terrified you. It’s not like you needed to anyways — you knew exactly what was after you.

You were nearing the end of your road, both literally and figuratively. You stumbled over a tree root, your hands splayed out in front of yourself at just the right angle to keep your momentum going and, in some feat of luck, stay upright and running.

But your luck had just run out.

Your senses were proven correct as the harrowing cliff edge came into view, and a thousand things screamed in your mind at once as your demise stared you right in the eye. You barely managed to catch yourself, very much aware that the snow falling into the void could’ve just as well been you.

That fucking screech again, even closer than before, and you whipped around as you took an instinctive step back. Your hands patted around everywhere, searching for something to defend yourself, but you had nothing. No gun, knife, even the ground around you was devoid of rocks.

You had nothing. You had nothing to defend yourself from this goddamn nightmare creature, and you were going to die.

Your eyes darted around wildly in an attempt to find something, anything, to save yourself, but there was nothing. You took another step back and felt your foot slip, your breath catching as you barely managed to save yourself with a twist and a lunge away from the edge. The shock of the ground and the cold against your skin was just enough to remind yourself that you were actually alive. Another pile of snow mimicked the fate that seemed imminent as it trickled over the side of the cliff, and you screwed your eyes shut as you tried to shut your mind up.

Think, goddammit, if you wanted to get off of this fucking mountain you had to think—

The screech that pierced through the night sky was far too close for comfort, and as your head snapped back towards the woods you swore that your heart stopped beating.

It had caught up. You were out of time you were going to die but you didn’t have anything and you were going to fucking die—

A flash of white pushed off a tree and lunged towards you, teeth bared as it emitted that horrible screech. You didn’t even have time to scream, completely frozen in place as one clawed hand reached your neck, and you braced for the moment of release.

You shot up in your bed, breathing rapid and unsteady with a barely contained cry on the edge of your lips as your hand instinctively flew to your neck. You heaved an almost strangled sigh of relief to know that your head was still attached to your body (it might’ve seemed obvious, but… your head wasn’t exactly on straight at the moment, all jokes aside) and collapsed against the headboard.

You ran your hands across your face as you tried in vain to calm yourself down, ultimately having to turn on your lamp to ease your troubled mind that there was nothing going thump in the night.

It had been this same routine almost every night — horrible nightmare, wake up crying or screaming or both, and start the day at 3 am because you couldn’t fall back asleep.

It was exhausting. You were exhausted.

You knew you couldn’t go on like this, but what choice did you have? Therapy had been mandated by the police for a certain amount of time after the incident, but… it’s not like it had helped. How could it, when no one truly knew what you had gone through?

Well… that wasn’t completely accurate.

One person knew what you were going through, and you hadn’t said as much as one word to him since that night. You didn’t really… know what to say.

Hey. I know we’re not all that close, but I’m sorry your girlfriend and all your friends were killed by a Wendigo and that I made it instead. Hope you’re not going insane with grief. I’ll send you a card at Christmas!

...yeah. You had no idea what to say to him after months of no contact.

The relationship you had with Mike Munroe was a strange one, to say the least.

None of you were the same after that night on the mountain. The horrors of the mines would be forever entrenched in your head, flashes of the Wendigos appearing every time you closed your eyes. You and Mike were the only ones who made it off, and the guilt you carried everywhere was a burden you knew you couldn’t shoulder. And even after the physical scars had faded, you knew the mental ones never would.

Sometimes you wondered how you had even managed to get involved with the group in the first place — bonds that had been made in your freshman and sophomore years had somehow managed to stay strong enough throughout the rest of high school, strong enough to cement your spot in the friend group and the yearly lodge visits. You liked them all well enough, enough to go up to an isolated mountain with them for a weekend or so, but… yeah. Sometimes you did wonder what the hell you were doing with them.

But now?

Now, you would give almost anything to hear Sam’s laugh or one of her compliments, or tease Ashley and Chris about their very obvious feelings; hell, you found yourself missing Matt’s useless football facts. And even though Emily and Jessica weren’t always the nicest, you still had managed to worm your way into their hearts. Knowing that you would never get Emily’s brutal but helpful advice or get dragged to a football game by Jessica again?

If someone had told you the difference between life-long trauma and a completely normal existence was that blonde girl with the braids in your biology class, you might’ve thought a little harder before accepting that party invite.

The days after you were rescued from the mountain passed in a daze, questions and interrogations from police never sticking for too long. And it didn’t even feel like it mattered, the way none of them seemed to believe you.

They kept you separated from Mike throughout the whole process, and you were only able to catch glances of him when you were being transferred to different rooms throughout the long process. It really was like something out of a horror movie — a group of teens go up to a lodge in the woods, and only two return with a story of unspeakable horrors — and rather than try and work out what had happened, they seemed intent on pinning the deaths on you and Mike.

As if you weren’t dealing with enough after watching your friends get murdered by the monster of another friend, the people that were supposed to be helping you were instead trying to charge you with them. If it wasn’t so fucking infuriating, it would’ve been laughable.

The worst part? You could hardly blame them.

When you took a second to listen to yourself, to what you were spouting to the police, you sounded insane. If you hadn’t witnessed it all first hand, you wouldn’t have believed yourself.

You told them to go down to the mines. That the thing that killed your friends would be down there, and they could see it for themselves.

You didn’t know if that was the right choice. Hell, you might’ve been sending those cops to their deaths. But it was the only way you could think of to get them to believe you.

(You doubted they would go down there anyways. What was the word of two crazy college kids over actual logic? Not much, you imagined.)

You were in that damn interrogation room for what felt like forever until you were finally taken to a hospital to get your wounds treated. But even in the hospital bed, police were by your side asking about what happened every day of your stay. After your discharge, you were forced into custody until they got information that they deemed satisfactory.

By some miracle, you and Mike weren’t charged with anything. The news might’ve gotten hold of your story, but you didn’t know. You didn’t want to know. You didn’t ever look at the news after the tragedy, too afraid that you would see the smiling faces of your friends staring back at you, or pictures of you and Mike with news anchors trying to talk about how involved the two of you were.

If there was one thing worse than going through hell, it was other people trying to make a profit off of your spiral.

Your friends’ families offered their condolences, but not much else. You didn’t hold it against them. Your survivor’s guilt was strong enough to know exactly why they didn’t reach out further.

(You blame yourself for their deaths, after all. Why wouldn’t they?)

It was the same situation with Mike.

Maybe you had purposefully drifted apart from him, trying to build up walls of your own so that he wouldn’t be able to spring it on you first. You assumed he hated you after what had happened, and he had every right to. You might’ve helped each other through the night, but you had no other option. Now, everyone else but you was dead — people he cared about more than you — and you just couldn’t face that.

But as you stared at yourself in your bathroom mirror, you realized that you might have to.

You looked awful.

Weeks of sleepless nights were catching up to you, appearing in the form of

hollow eyes and dark circles, along with a slight discoloration of your skin. The scars from the mountain had mostly healed, but there was a particularly nasty gash on your cheek that was still showing — it wasn’t doing you any favors in the ‘looking completely normal and sane and not severely sleep deprived’ department.

You splashed some water in your face to try and wake up a bit, but the slight drowsiness that followed you everywhere seemed to be a permanent part of you now.

(It was almost funny, in a way. You were so paranoid and alert all the time, unable to fall asleep, and yet it was all you could think about in moments like these. You wondered when irony had become such a staple in your life.)

You had tried talking to therapists, your friends, your family, even searching the internet for advice on what to do after a life changing traumatic event. Nothing had worked.

The simplest solution had come to mind more than once, but you had pushed it aside with the determination to work through this on your own. But now, staring at yourself and seeing how much you had deteriorated…

You had to go talk to the only person who would understand.

~

You had considered turning around more than once on the drive over.

Because, really, what the hell were you doing? Showing up at his doorstep in the middle of o dark thirty because— because what?

Because you had a nightmare?

He had gone through the same thing you had, probably even worse. Losing Jessica right in front of him, having to cut off his fingers to get free, spending countless hours alone, dealing with the nightmare that was the sanatorium, and then…

Well, you had been in the mines with him and Josh when it happened. There was no doubt in your mind that the scene replayed in his head endlessly, just like it did for you.

Showing up… it was going to be a mistake. You knew it was.

For all you knew, Mike had moved on already. He was stronger than you, he always had been. Maybe your presence would send him spiraling once more, or maybe it would just earn you a verbal beating like no other. Mike had always been nice enough, but the trauma you had endured was enough to turn a saint into his own worst enemy.

You didn’t know what would happen. You didn’t know anything, and as you turned down his street you regretted more than ever not keeping in touch with him. Maybe then you wouldn’t be in this situation, scrambling after your last hope for salvation after slowly killing yourself over the past few months.

But there was no chance to turn back now, because before you knew it your knuckles were rapping against his front door.

The pause between your arrival and a response was so long that you considered leaving and pretending like this never happened, but just as you began to step back the door swung open.

You didn’t really know what you were expecting, but… he was there. The only other testament to the horrors of Blackwood Pines, and maybe the only person that could help you through this.

“...hi,” you murmured, swallowing the sudden lump in your throat as you looked the personification of your shame in the eye.

Mike blinked a few times, whether to try and wake up a little or out of surprise from his visitor you didn’t know, but it was a few seconds before he responded in kind. “...hey. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you around.”

You chuckled dryly as you nodded. “Yeah. Sorry for the sudden arrival. I’m, uh… I’m kind of surprised you even opened the door.”

He huffed out a short breath in a facsimile of a laugh. “Not getting much sleep these days.”

“That’s something we’ve got in common.” You crossed your arms across your chest and let out a loose sigh, eyes wandering around in an attempt to think of what to say next. It should’ve been so easy, but… but for some reason, it just wasn’t.

“Guess so.” That awkward silence stretched out once more, neither of you knowing how to fill it. Thankfully, Mike continued to take the plunge, but it wasn’t without a slight barb. “What are you doing here?”

“I—” you stopped just as you had begun, because you really didn’t know. You had come here for help, but could Mike really do that for you? He was the same as you — a fucked up teenager trying to deal with something so far beyond him.

“I don’t know,” you admitted as you made eye contact once more. “I… I really don’t know. I’m out of options, and… I can’t keep going like this. So I came here to talk, or— or to try and get some help. I don’t know.”

That same silence filled the air once more, the night ambiance the only thing in between the two of you. You missed when that silence used to be comfortable, but… you could only blame yourself for it.

“So— so, what?” he asked, the beginnings of a frown starting to crease his brows. “You just— we go through all that together up there, and then when we get back down you don’t say a word for months. And now— now, out of nowhere, in the middle of the night, you just show up and ask for help?”

“God,” you muttered. When he put it that way, it was true. It was ridiculous, to expect his help after the way you had just left him to deal with it all on his own for a reason borne of your own insecurity. “You’re right. This was— this was stupid. I’m sorry.”

You had already turned to go when you felt a calloused hand on your shoulder, causing you to stop in your tracks.

“No.” His voice was surprisingly soft as he sighed, stepping back with a shake of his head to make room in the doorway. “No, I—” Mike paused for a moment, as if he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I’m sorry. You can come in. Obviously, you can come in.”

Your eyes widened slightly as you tried to hide your shock at the gesture, but you weren’t about to turn it down. You nodded, and he stepped aside to make space for you to walk in. When you did, you were met with a mess not unlike the one back at your apartment, save for the beer bottles. Clothes were strewn about haphazardly on every surface, so you took a seat on a clean spot on the floor, leaning back against a chair and pulling your knees up to your chest. You actually preferred it this way — it was grounding, in a literal sense. Mike pushed aside a laundry basket and did the same, but pulled one leg up and let the other lay extended.

“Why?” he asked suddenly, breaking the silence that had been accumulating once more. “Why did you just…” he gestured around with his hands to try and get his point across but ultimately settled with a sigh. “You didn’t say anything. You didn’t try to text, or call, or write, or— or anything. Hell, I would’ve probably jumped to get a messenger pigeon from you. But it was just… radio silence.”

You picked at the dry skin on your thumbs as you tried to come up with an answer. “I… I don’t know,” you repeated. “It was stupid, and it was horrible of me to leave you alone. I mean… I don’t know why I did it. I know what I’ve been going through, and I know you’ve been going through the same. So I don’t know why I didn’t try to reach out and see how you were doing.”

He chuckled mirthlessly as his eyes swept over the empty bottles that had accumulated on the coffee table. “I’m not the best with alone.”

“I know,” you said quietly. “I thought…” you shook your head as you looked at the ceiling. “I thought that you hated me. I know that you cared about them all more, you were closer to all of them, and… and I thought you wouldn’t want anything to do with me. That I would just always be a reminder of what you lost. And… and, I don’t know. Maybe it was my way of trying to move on. Was a stupid fucking idea, though.”

That got a genuine laugh out of him as he ran a hand through his hair. “I guess I get that. I dunno why I didn’t try to talk to you either. Maybe since you didn’t say anything, I didn’t want to either. This whole thing fucked me up.” His gaze moved to you. “Fucked us both up.”

“You can say that again,” you muttered as you tapped your fingers on your knees. “I can’t look anywhere without seeing them. I mean, I see that fucking…” you grimaced. “I see Josh, and I see what that thing did to him, and I just— I’m right back to step one.”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “...yeah. That was seven layers of fucked up.”

“You can’t just keep saying everything was fucked up,” you said dryly. “It was shitty, too.”

Mike snorted, some kind of slightly masochistic humor going on between the two of you. “Nothing really gets the point across like fucked up.”

“Guess you’re right,” you finally conceded with a small smile. “This is… this is nice. I’d almost forgotten what it was like to… I don’t know, to talk to someone like this.”

“It is,” he murmured.

Another pregnant pause hung in the air, but the silence wasn’t as uncomfortable now. Trickles of what it used to be like, of your old life, were beginning to poke through.

“I never hated you,” he said suddenly. Your eyes flicked up to meet his, and it was like his brown eyes were piercing through you as he continued. “I never did. After it happened… yeah, I was mad. I was fucking pissed, but it was never at you. You were my friend too, y’know? Even though we weren’t that close, we were still… we were still something. And I’m glad you made it. I just wish you hadn’t convinced yourself that you had to go through this alone. Maybe things would’ve turned out different, these past few months. For both of us.”

You nodded, choosing to avert eye contact first because you almost couldn’t handle the sincerity. Your heart sank a bit at the sight of all the beer bottles, and you knew that he was right. Maybe things would’ve been different if the two of you had weathered it together from the start. And so you said that.

“I still can’t help but feel like I’m to blame for—” you gestured around at the mess with a sigh, “for this.”

“Look.” His voice was raspy as he ran a hand through his disheveled hair, and as he met your eyes once more you were able to see how truly exhausted he was. With dark circles that matched your own, scars that were still healing, and a certain hollowness behind his eyes… It was like looking in a mirror. And it made you realize how fucked up the two of you had really become.

Mike had always been good at holding himself together, putting up his signature egotistical-douchebag-jock act in the face of anything that threatened to tear him down, and more often than not he came out victorious. But not even class presidents were immune to the horrors that they had faced, and it was taking more of a toll on him than you had realized.

“It’s not your fault. You— you did everything you could; I know I’m still alive because of you. Besides, we were idiot teenagers — we still are — and none of them deserved to die because of it. Not Hannah, not Beth, not any of them.” Mike shook his head and sighed. “Not even Josh. Man was fucked up even before all of this, but he didn’t deserve what happened to him. He needed help, but instead he got his fucking… god. I can’t even say it. But he didn’t deserve it.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, the subconscious process having stopped because of the weight of his words. It was cliche, but you didn’t know how much you needed to hear those four words: it’s not your fault.

“Maybe you should be my therapist,” you joked weakly. But as you let your eyes trail back to Mike you bit your lip. He hadn’t included himself in that statement, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out why.

“Mike… it wasn’t your fault either. You’re not just saying bullshit to try and make yourself feel better, it really wasn’t your fault. What do they say? ‘Getting through your guilt is the first step to recovery’ or some shit? You deserve to be here just as much as I do.”

“But it was,” he insisted. “It’s easy for you to say that. You tried to stop it, I… I just went along with it. Fuck, I started it all. Hannah and Beth went missing because of me, Josh went out of his fuckin’ mind, and if he hadn’t brought us all back up there for his revenge plot then they wouldn’t have died. How is it not my fault? Why do I get to live when all of them died because of me?”

“Mike,” you sighed. “I… I don’t know. I don’t know why we made it back when none of them did, but it’s not your fucking fault, okay? You— yeah, that prank was fucking stupid, but— but how could you know what was going to happen?” You huffed a laugh that was only slightly unhinged. “People pull pranks all the time. Native American legend cannibal spirit things don’t try to kill people all the time. You can’t keep blaming yourself. It’s not going to help them, and it’s not going to help you.”

That silence stretched out once more as he took in your words. You didn’t know if he believed them or not, but you did. That had to be worth something, right?

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” he muttered, breaking the silence once more. “And I… I don’t know. I don’t know why it took almost fucking dying from those goddamn things, a— and seeing what happened to all of them...”

“I don’t know,” he repeated, leaning back against the foot of the sofa. “All the shit that happened, all of them dying — I don’t know how long it’ll take until we’re okay again. Hell, I don’t even know if we ever will be okay again. What happened up there was fucked up in the worst way, and the fact that no one believes us makes it a hell of a lot worse.”

You chuckled darkly as you cupped one hand in the other. “You can say that again.”

His lips twitched for a moment as if he wanted to smile but ultimately thought better of it. “I know we aren’t that close anymore, but the truth is we’re the only ones on this fuckin’ planet that know what really happened up there. We’re the only ones that will ever really understand what happened to us, and… and I think we’re the only ones that can really help each other through this shit.”

He met your eyes once more, something resolute in them. “So the next time this happens, because it will, if you don’t want to be alone… you can come here. Any time, any day, no questions asked. Just knock on that door, and I will be there. No more isolation, no more trying to get through this on our own. We gotta be there for each other, because we’re all we have.”

You nodded gratefully, a feeling of warmth slowly creeping through your body with his reassurance. “Thank you, Mike. You… you have no idea what this means to me.”

“I think I have some clue,” he murmured.

As you exchanged weary smiles, you saw a faint twinkle in Mike’s eyes. He was always the kind of person to help others, even if it was for the wrong reasons, and that was one thing that stuck with him after the disaster. And in that moment, a long lost feeling washed over you — safety.

You hadn’t felt safe in… well, it seemed like forever. Adrenaline and pure instinct were responsible for getting you through those twelve hours, along with an overwhelming wave of numbness and denial. But once all of that wore off, the nightmares had begun. Your friends, the Wendigos, the mountain itself — anything and everything that your mind could use against you, it did.

It was a living hell. You could hardly ever sleep anymore, horrific images always jolting you awake after an hour or two and keeping you awake for the rest of the day. It was no wonder Mike had ended up with a drinking problem — it was probably the only way he could sleep, the only way he could bring some form of peace to his mind. By some miracle, you had avoided that fate, but… you would be lying if you said you hadn’t come close.

But somehow, for some reason, you could tell that things were going to be different. Now that you and Mike weren’t avoiding each other anymore in the name of painful memories… you felt like things were going to be okay. Or as close to okay as you could get these days.

You weren’t alone, and neither was he.

He had saved your life on the mountain more than once. Now, he was saving you again. Just in a different way.

-

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