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jester-lover · 9 months

Note

Could you do a Diasomnia dorm with their soulmates? Like the guys meeting soulmate for the first time, mc preferably being a human for that extra drama in case you’d want to add that?💙

Soulmate Sorrows

Oh you know I love the drama. Thank you for requesting, I hope my favoritism towards Sebek doesn’t show as much.

Feat/ Diasomnia

CWs/gn! Reader, angst-to-fluff, mentions of mortality, war and discrimination, brief kidnapping/isolation, bittersweet fluff (various soulmate aus), uhh, Sebek insults you pretty heavy

I took the creative liberty of making Lilia and Silver’s more humorous to tone down the angst of Sebek and Mal. (Also, I hope someone notices the flower language in the Sebek HCs.)

Malleus

When Malleus saw the red string on his finger connected to yours, he was filled with a sense of pure and simple happiness

As he holds you in his warm embrace, some realization hits him like a brick

As a human, you would live for a minuscule amount of time compared to him; he would see you grow gray and weak and pass on as he held onto your memory for eons to come

Or, even worse, a simple accident could take you away from him in the blink of an eye

Some sort of dragon instinct fills Malleus for a while, always suggesting to spend time with you away from others who may hurt you

He tries to keep you safe by hiding you from others, but humans like you are social creatures, and even the most introverted of us need some communication every once in awhile

He slowly realized he would be making you miserable by hiding you away and eventually stopped his behavior, apologizing to you meekly

During this process, Malleus breaks.

He cries into your arms, apologizing for his actions and revealing his fears and worries

As you comfort him, you tell him that you’ll be happy to be his for whatever time you have, and he decides from that point onward to keep you happy no matter what

He’s a very tender, affectionate lover

You can expect to sleep in his big bed, with the warm prince wrapped around you, and to hold his hand in between classes

Malleus seemingly forgets any social norms from his home when it comes down to you; he will literally fight tooth and nail with his advisers to keep you as his spouse when the time comes

Mortality rarely comes up in your discussions after a certain point, as he focuses on keeping you happy and safe

“My dearest, long after you’ve passed, I will still only have you in my heart... you’ve taken up all the space.”

Lilia

He’s as playful as ever when he sees the matching tattoo on your arm; his own is practically centuries old, and while he was content with being alone, he's so happy to see you!

Lilia might play his feelings off as being plainly giddy, but deep down he does worry a bit about how the two most important people in his life will most definitely outlive him

Now that he has a partner, a strange form of protectiveness surrounds him, like he’s found another purpose, a reason to grow stronger

(A reason to cook more!)

Moving on from that more serious topic, Lilia will be most excited to spend time just lounging about with you, strumming little melodies on his guitar, taking you on upside-down walks, cliche couple stuff, y’know?

(Just wait till he starts spilling historical tea)

To wind down and enjoy the little moments with the family he’s built, however long it lasts, is a major priority in his life

“I need someone to try out my new recipe~, all the ingredients are actually edible this time around!”

Silver

y'all are chill lmao

Okok, but when he sees you start showing up in his dreams, he’s a little freaked out, partially because you’re very attractive to him but mostly because he has zero clue how to navigate romance

Imagine going on a date with him, and he’s down for the count in the first 10 minutes

Thankfully, I assume you are aware of his sleep habit, and he’s always very grateful when you wake him up

Despite his stern exterior, Silver has a tendency to show his deep affection for you through acts of service, such as helping you clean Ramshackle House, because God knows how much it needs help (thanks, Crow Man).

Another little quirk about him is his tendency to go along with any cute couple activity you want to do

Wanna wear matching outfits? Cool with him.

Walk him to his classes? Absolutely.

Be the loudest spectator at his equestrian club meets? He appreciates the enthusiasm.

Even if you consider yourself to be a volatile or argumentative person, it’s very hard for Silver to get mad at you because of the genuine adoration and respect he holds for you

He can’t wait to grow older alongside you, to see you at your best, your worst, and your most human moments, until the two of you are old and wrinkly

“I saw something I thought you’d like at the store while I was running errands… maybe we could make dinner together…?”

Sebek

NO.

this is Sebek's worst nightmare come true; the words written on his wrist were the first you ever spoke to him, you, you disgusting, vile, no good human...

He runs far away, back into his room, and under his covers

He refuses to speak to you, refuses to look at you, and refuses to do anything involving you

For a couple of days, he just sulks, which is super heartbreaking for you, considering the fact that you can't control who you are, and your only soulmate just harshly rejected you

Sebek cries a lot. Like, a lot. at one point or another, his mother calls him to verbally smack some sense into him (and most likely Lilia too)

You see him standing at the door of Ramshackle House, breathing heavily as Grim offers to flambé him for you

You decide to hear him out, and he practically spills his years of self-loathing and hurt on your lap

Some part of you hurts for your soulmate, and you hold him in your arms

This relationship starts out turbulent, to say the least, but there’s a mental click that happens for him at one point, where he just realizes how if his own mother found joy with a human, he can too

Sebek tries his best to earn your trust, trying to break down the emotional layers his own internal bigotry has put between you

(it’s also very cute when he shows up with a bouquet of daffodils, as per Lilia’s recommendation)

You two definitely have a long road ahead of you, but Sebek’s affection is loud and unwavering, and while he might be stubborn in his nature, he knows when to cool it down now

For your sake and for the lifelong relationship he wants with you

“Human! I have a few hours to spare before training, would you like to read with me?”

OMG I actually posted??? I'm crawling through requests as fast as I can ya'll, school has been destroying my creativity for the last few weeks.

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nicromancytarot · 4 months

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WHAT DO YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON RIGHT NOW?

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I do not charge for these readings, and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I get for the readings, but I pull like 15-20 cards each reading and that is just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD TAROT READING

I asked my spirit guides what you need to focus on right now, pick a picture and find out what they had to say!

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3

Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6

PILE 1

Maintaining relationships and friendships is the most important thing for you guys right now. It’s been proven hard for people to hold up friendships and relationships of those who they are about, as lots of people are becoming less tolerant towards bullshit. Perhaps you’re not being the best version of yourself towards your friends right now. I’d recommend taking a look inside yourself and figuring out what is making you act out in possibly not the best ways, and how can you help yourself, and make up with others in the process?

PILE 2

You guys need to focus on your money and how you are treating it, I don’t know if you’re being too lenient, or too stubborn with your spending, some of you will fit into their of these. Make sure you spend responsibly. For those of who who have the money and are scared to spend it because you fear you will lose it, you won’t - you can spend an amount without worrying about not making it back, because you will gain that back. For those of you who are the opposite and spending too much, or too impulsively, take a breather and allow yourself to take a break from spending for this next month, only spend money on necessities.

PILE 3

You guys have a decision that you need to make right now, something in which you are very confused or stuck towards. I’m assuming this decision to be quite life changing for you guys, so get thinking and try to figure out the best choice for you. Not to scare you my pile 3’s, however if you don’t make this decision and choose the direction or path you desire to go down, the universe will do it for you, and they will lead you to that tower moment to get rid of everything and start again.

PILE 4

This is a very specific message, so if it doesn’t resonate, choose another pile. For the ones of you who this does resonate with, you guys seem to currently be struggling on whether or not you want to give your heart to someone. You may have been hurt in the past and now worried about opening yourself up to a person in such a way. Don’t stress so much about this, you will find and make the decision that is right for you.

PILE 5

Focus on your healing journey so those around you who have hurt you and caused you great sadness will be able to feel that of what they made you experience. Your reading is themed heavily around karma that can only be achieved once you heal yourself and accept that these people hurt you. Take your time, not too much, but allow yourself to figure out who these people were and what they did to you. You are so incredibly powerful, the universe wants you to heal so they can have your back and get at those who have hurt you. For a very select few or you, this could theme around legal trouble, gather your evidence and keep it all orderly for when you need to speak about it.

PILE 6

You guys need a breather, take some time to just relax, rest, stop doing so much. You guys are very busy, some of you are really into the whole nightlife scene, and are constantly out partying until early hours of the morning. Take a moment from it and relax, you need to rest instead of working or doing so much constantly. Allow yourself to relax for the love of god. SLEEP.

#tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a pile

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phantomrose96 · 1 month

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Astounding. Incredible. Deeply, deeply horrifying. Incredible and it will be haunting me for at least the next 72 hours minimum. 10/10 sending it to everyone I know.

Reading the first time I fully did not register how much of a literal chekov's gun the disintegrator was. Made me think way to deeply on what is required for Danny to regenerate. Does it require at least a certain amount of flesh 'intact'? Cells? Molecules? Is it that so long as there is a single atom of his being around he will slowly and horrifically rebuild himself? What would happen if he did switch back? Would he briefly feel the incomprehensible pain of every scattered atom of his being or would it go to fast for him to comprehend the pain? Is he even able to fall unconscious when his body is injured that badly or does his being keep him awake at all costs as a self preservation method?

Anyways this is deeply terrifying and will now live happily next to Nothing Remains and Under Moonlight and all the other fan fics you've written traumatizing this poor, poor dead teenager.

(I've also spent way to long thinking about what comes after the end. What do you do with your friends exposed lung and vocal cords and mouth while he slowly regenerates? It's not like they could just leave him on the golf course screaming. But where could they put him that no one would hear? The thermos? The ghost zone? Hope that Vlad has something that could help?)

10/10 fic I'm chewing drywall thank you for writing this amazing piece!

(Prometheus)

JKDSNKJDSJKNDSJKNSD THANK YOU!!!!

I fully did not register how much of a literal chekov's gun the disintegrator was.

YEAH!!! I wanted there to be something that acted as a through-line in the story. I wanted Maddie and Jack's appearance near the end to be sudden and surprising and scary but not "out of nowhere." Carrying the gun through the story served that purpose so well because like, it's gaudy enough to capture people's attention, but it's also easily dismissed as background shenanigans... until it's not.

And the Disintegrator gets to evolve with the tone shift. It's some goofy combobulation Jack uses to blast fish out of a lake at the start. And then he tinkers with it. And it becomes this thing he can shoulder and point at Danny and draw a genuine fear response from his son (even if Jack had no intention of firing. And Danny is in no real danger) And then it becomes the thing he draws on his son with every intention of firing...

The damn thing even gets to be ripped to pieces and put back together over the course of the story. Danny brushing away loose nuts and bolts of the half-deconstructed Fenton Disintegrator while his liver stitches itself back together. But that's probably nothing :)

What is required for Danny to regenerate. Does it require at least a certain amount of flesh 'intact'? Cells? Molecules? Is it that so long as there is a single atom of his being around

YEah and this is absolutely part of the horror element to me. Danny doesn't know. He doesn't know how much is enough and how far-gone is too far gone. From my word of god, it's his ghost core that the reconstruction happens around (which is not a physical thing). So it at least means every cell is not about to spawn a new Danny (sorry no Under Moonlight angst here). But Danny doesn't know. And how can you tolerate gambling your life over and over and over with a mechanism you cannot understand?

Is he even able to fall unconscious when his body is injured that badly or does his being keep him awake at all costs as a self preservation method?

Yes. There is a ghost-amount of consciousness he's clinging to, which if he loses his grip on would result in him dying. ...Unless it doesn't. :) Danny doesn't know. Danny can't know. Danny cannot risk finding out. Because if he risks it, and he's wrong, he'll die. What's really the difference between "this will kill me" and "I THINK this will kill me, and the only way I can ever know for sure is to do it"? The difference only matters if Danny's made the decision he'd rather die.

I've also spent way to long thinking about what comes after the end

Nothing good. Nothing good. And consider how absolutely traumatizing it is for Sam, Tucker, and Jazz. They find Danny like this and they can do absolutely nothing while organs of himself scream. And this has been ~7 hours since the run in with the Disintegrator. Danny has only barely regenerated, starting from absolutely Nothing. It could be another 24 hours. Another 48. Before he's done. And he's required to stay conscious the whole time. He was desperately sleep-deprived already and now he needs to remain awake through this all because if he passes out with organs missing, he's done for. (Or he might be done for, and he cannot know for certain unless he takes that monumental gamble).

So what do Sam Jazz and Tucker even do. What do you even do? You can't leave him. God no you can't leave him. But you can't move him. You can't talk to him. You can't help him. You can't leave him. Do you sit in the snow? Do you sit for 24 hours watching screaming flesh grow back together? How ungodly long must 24 hours of that be? Will it ever stop screaming?

#prometheus #body horror #:)

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brights-place · 9 months

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Clay x sassy fem! Reader Nsfw and sfw headcannons?

When I say sassy I mean she’s bold, straight forward, annoyed easily and other stuff. She’s strong headed and doesn’t take no for a answer type of sassy, and maybe bratty during sex too👀…

Clay with an sassy S/O

Pairings: Clay X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Smut and NSFW content MDNI! A/N: These are for those freaky people and clay simps I'm talking about me aswell yall... I love clay so much AHEM! Anyways I'm not gonna be on tumblr for alot cause yk Im prepping for some stuff for the next couple of weeks!

SFW

- You being sassy is so entertaining for him

- You being straight forward and bland makes him snicker especially when Viva tries to do something dumb with the two of you when hanging out You'd be most of the time voice of reason and clay also being an voice of reason for an slight amount before giving in so you are one who has to take control

- Loves how you can be bratty and rude towards people but can melt in his hands easily if he praises you for the smallest things

- When you get annoyed he soothes you easily by placing an hand on your arm or shoulder

- You two would be an power duo for work situations and just for your personal life - he tangles your and his hair and tail together as he tries to hold you back from going to insult or punch someone cause they talked smack about Clay and Viva (I headcannon they have tails, claws, fangs and paws cause its so cute)

- He loves when seeing you stand up for other trolls when needed and was so determined to make all putt putt trolls safe!

-he pretends that he hates when you act out and get pissed but secretly he loves when you're a brat and enjoys the sight

- He loves how bold and straight forward yet sassy you are but you are so different in bed (NEHEHHEHEHEHE *gremlin noises*)

NSFW

- OHOHOHOHO I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS

- He could be rough some days and soft on others it depends how you act but since your sassy and bratty he snickers. - When he was trying to work once you kept touching him groaning and whining about wanting him - When he said no to not letting in cause he was busy with work you literally left for an moment before appearing under his desk smirking up at him

- Clay wouldn’t admit it but when your bratty he enjoys it so much cause he can make you submit to him later on after he fucks the brains out of you

- When your being bratty and whine he likes to put you in your place

- biting hard and leaving hickeys as he grips onto your waist and thighs a bunch of times, whispering praises and degrading words against your ear

- Loves how he makes you whine after you kept trying to fight back for dominance but failing and you end up hiccuping in pleasure

- Overstimulates you so much

- Teases you he would just slowly thrust in and out of you or tease the tip of your member as you beg for him for more and cling to him sobbing

- When you continue being sassy he enjoys it so much and likes to place you in different positions while tugging your hair back

- decided to Mirror fuck you to show how he makes you feel this good and that you should obey him more while your drooling and he leaves marks on your skin

- He loves having control when you are doing it so he likes stopping his movements on purpose just to hear you whine and beg for him to go back to railing you

- He can be very cold, teasing you just to rile you up to see if you don't follow the rules and try be more straight forward and bratty.

- Uses overstimulation as punishment will force orgasm after orgasm until you are crying, begging for him to stop obviously you still wanna continue it though.

- Loved how he made you switch up so fast from being an bratty sassy troll to an drooling submissive person with how easily he man handles you

- Amazing at aftercare and make sure you feel special

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2024 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact!

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anli-rambles · 9 days

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Idk if the writers intended it or not but the amount of cognitive dissonance between what Haytham says and what he does is so telling of the kind of person he was raised to be. Birch succeeded in making him talk like a Templar, but his actions contradict pretty much everything Haytham claims to stand for. It's as if the brainwashing ran deep enough to make Haytham lack self-awareness but not enough to completely destroy what Edward was able to teach him before he died. Connor points it out verbatim right before they meet up with Washington too. "You've talked a great deal but you've shown me nothing."

Haytham says he wants order but he's just about as chaotic as his father was when he was younger. He says Connor's talks of "freedom" and "free will" are nonsense but literally every time we see him aside from the opening sequences, he's going off on his own, doing God-knows-what without telling any of the other Templars, he drops everything on the spot to go camping with his girlfriend, hell he even murdered a Templar Grandmaster for personal revenge (when revenge has been the driving force between many of the protagonists we've had so far like Ezio, Connor, Arno, Bayek, heck even Kassandra to some degree, while the Templars claim to be above this kind of stuff). He went against Lee's plans to have Connor executed because he felt like it. (The line in his journal is literally "I won't let my son die today.") He says he wants purpose and direction and yet never has a plan for whatever he's doing. He's exactly like Edward on that front, essentially bullshitting his way through everything and hoping it all works out (and it often doesn't). That man has never had purpose or direction in his entire life, and the moment someone tries to tell him what to do, he actively chooses to do the opposite because he doesn't follow orders (and if he does, it's on his own terms).

When Haytham realized he didn't hold the key to the Precursor site, he chose to drop it altogether, because he knew too many would have to die for the cause and it wasn't worth it. Do you mean to tell me people like Vidic, the Borgias, Germain, heck even Torres (who's by far the most reasonable Grandmaster we've encountered in the series besides François de la Serre, maybe) went to impossible lengths to get to the Observatory — do you think any of these men would've just... stopped ? Because more people would have to die ? (The answer is no. William Johnson was willing to commit mass murder just to buy the land the site was on — which by the way Haytham had no idea about (the mass murder part, I mean) until after the fact and he was very angry about it.)

Which is also pretty telling about how involved he is in all of this. He didn't know about what Johnson was planning because he couldn't even be bothered to hold yearly meetings for like 15 years.

In his journal, you can see how he progressively starts to despise every Templar he's working with. He endorses Lee out loud but his thoughts about the guy are that he's "too British to be a good representative for the American people" and he's actually pretty pessimistic about his chances to supplant Washington. He doesn't even believe in what he says about Lee, like, ever (which is why I say it really looks like he's endorsing Lee as an act of sabotage because it really feels like it sometimes.) His Templar kill count is also higher than Connor's — Juan Vedomir, the unnamed mercenary with a West Country accent, Edward Braddock, John Harrison, Reginald Birch, Benjamin Church and Nicholas Biddle (although the game never showed it, the fact that Church and Biddle died only days apart while both in the Caribbean means that Haytham was with Connor on the Aquila when he killed Biddle, so he's at least complicit in his murder.)

Haytham says he's a man with Templar ideals and an Assassin background but to me it feels like the opposite. He's a man with a Templar background and Assassin ideals, but the grooming started so young that even killing Birch couldn't undo the damage that man had done. I think Haytham realized that by the end and that's why he let Connor kill him.

#haytham kenway #ac3 #edward kenway #connor kenway #assassin's creed

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blank468 · 4 months

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My somewhat final thoughts of My Hero Academia

Note: Now that MHA is now doing an epilogue and is ending soon, I might as well give my final thoughts about this series. I’ll probably continue to talk more about it after the series is officially over but I’m not going to do a full fledged hour long review because I have better things to do.

This is a generic shonen empowerment fantasy that managed to screw its own theme and message. Any good will I would’ve given to series at the beginning is completely irrelevant as it when on. The morals and themes are constantly changing to throw random s**t on a sheet of paper that either doesn’t make sense, contradicts what being shown on screen, or if it doesn’t fits the tone of the story. My hero is not a deconstruction of the shonen genre that does anything new that would make it stand out. Most of the ideas and plot points created either have horrible execution, given no amount of attention where they’re just ignored or just have horrible payoffs. It follows all the exact same tropes seen in every other series and makes them worse. It also gets to the point where it rips off Naruto and makes the same mistakes it did. The amount of plot twists that are excused as some kind of subversion are obnoxious and predictable where’s it gets incredibly annoying. The world building is horrendous and just makes the story feel small for a world that has a life changing impact. The power scale doesn’t always make sense and it does nothing but act as a way to reward characters that didn’t earn it.

It has a dangerous and horrible message for victims of abuse and bullying. My hero has no problem telling the audience that if you’re a victim of any kind of abuse, it’s your problem and you should just act like it’s not a big issue. Apparently it’s ok lie to your friends, family and colleagues that you can trust but it’s not ok to lie or even hold accountable to your abuser. And no matter if he/she has a reason for the way they are, you are always in the wrong and you should spend your sad life praising and benefiting them.

There exists way too many characters for the audience to be invested in and after watching them for several arcs, they are just stereotypes with nothing new or original about them. Many of them come across as either being stupid, annoying, useless, unlikeable, petty, ignorant or just both. Some characters will either exist to benefit others or just highjack the story, ruining every other character’s chance to get any sort spotlight. The series is way too reliant on putting focus on unpleasant and uninteresting characters to please its large audience. The humor is way too reliant on a character’s personality trait. No matter what they do, the story expects us to automatically like them regardless of how horrible and selfish their actions are. Izuku may not be the worst character, but he’s no where near as great as everyone hypes him up to be. Bakugo is an unbearable mess of a character that serves no real purpose in the story and exists to take away every characters chance of development. His development is one of the laziest and obnoxious parts I have ever seen in any story and yet he’s the most popular sadist in the show with no sort of reason or sympathy for me to like him. Any criticism given to this d**khead is automatically shot down and people like me get harassed and called a brain dead immature f*g for stating our opinion.

Aside from Twice and Gentle/ La Brava, these villains are not that interesting and what ever traits about them gave them something to do is absence. Shigaraki is the stories biggest wasted potential that went from being an idiot to being an incompetent idiot to benefit my left nutsack. Toga is a Mary Stu who went from being a sad and annoying character to an annoying and self centered bitch who complains after being told her actions are wrong. Dabi is just a Gary Stu who’s only interested in wanting to kill his dad. Spinner is a joke that is constantly scammed by his creator.

The only saving grace I can give to this series is the art style of the manga and some parts of the Todoroki family drama. I can even say that Horikoshi’s art style and how he designs characters and panel designs inspired me as an artist. The anime as a whole is fine but it’s not perfect, but that’s mostly because it doesn’t do a whole lot of creatively/artistic things to make it on par with the most popular anime series. As an artist, I would recommend my hero as a reference to use to improve your work. If you just want to read or watch a series that has fights that just make you feel some kind of emotion, then you might get something out of this series. It’s not even the absolute worst thing I’ve seen; I’ve seen much worse in other genres other than shonen manga. It’s just rare to find a badly written series without being surrounded by d**kriders. It’s just a disaster of a series, and I wished I spent my time during the pandemic watching another series like Demon Slayer, or Black Clover.

#bnha critical #mha critical #anti bakugo katsuki #anti bakugou #anti katsuki bakugou #izuku deserves better #shigaraki deserves better

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bbyquokka · 1 year

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i'll be yours

pairing: bang chan x fem reader

genre: smut – MDNI

synopsis: unable to stop thinking about that night, reader confronts chan resulting in a confession and a night of passion.

warnings: smut, ghosting, unestablished (turned established at the end) relationship, virgin reader, inexperienced reader, fingering, protected sex (piv), oral sex (f rec), alcohol consumption, pet names

words: 3.9k ~ (3930)

♡ part one — ♡ m.list — ♡ you can also read it on my ao3

dont repost. dont translate. minors, ageless & default blogs; dni! feedback and reblogs are highly advised and appreciated!

time has passed since that day. everything went back to normal. you continued on with your life and chan continued on with his. no harm done, right?

expect, you haven't been able to stop thinking about that day. the way chan felt on your skin. how his hot breath would tickle the skin of your inner thigh before his soft lips would press against them. them same lips sucking and eating out your cunt like a starved man.

you orgasmed, naturally. but when you wanted to do something for him, he refused. you had that sinking feeling in your stomach, slowly rising to the back of your throat. he refused to give you eye contact, saying a quick goodbye before rushing out of your apartment with a raging hard-on.

you know chan better than anyone else on this planet so you know how much he loves sex. you'd go as far to say that he's a slight sex addict so it made no sense why he would rush off so quickly.

you thought nothing of it and brushed it off. however, chan is now ghosting you. you let him off the hook the first few text messages and phone calls, making up excuses for him in your head. but it's been weeks and still, he refuses to return your calls and texts.

did the thought of you being a virgin scare him off? you don't have experience, that's for sure unless you count watching endless amounts of porn videos. but porn is fake, it's exaggerated to make the viewer feel something. porn videos only has one purpose and that's to help the viewer ‘get off’

you hate feeling like this. feeling constantly anxious and worried about the whole situation. you don't want to regret what you and chan did, but with the way he is acting towards you, you're forced to.

you tried, you really did. you tried to forget about that day, about him but you can't. every time you close your eyes you can see him. his head between your legs, his fingers digging into your skin making indentations and small bruises. how he moans and complements you, constantly reassuring and praising you.

he was so kind, so gentle but now, he's like a stranger–and you hate that.

deciding that wallowing around in your own self pity was doing more harm than good, you decide to go out. have one or two drinks, dance with a few strangers then go home for the night. what you didn't bank on was that same man that has been clouding and consuming your thoughts to be at the same bar with his one night stand, of course.

“chan?!” you shout loud enough for your voice to be heard over the music. the bass vibrating, ear drums ringing with a small headache approaching to accommodate.

“yn..” chan swallows, placing his glass down on the table. he shifts on the spot feeling a little awkward. your rosy cheeks and doe eyes are all too familiar to him. flashbacks of that night flashing in his mind, blood rushing south fast.

“what are you doing here?!”

“could ask you the same question.” he chuckles.

“why haven't you been returning my calls or texts?!” your brows furrow as chan rubs the back of his neck in a sheepish manner.

“i've urm, i've been busy yn.” you roll your eyes at him, tongue in cheek.

“busy?” you scoff. the alcohol in your system rushing to your head, clouding your thoughts and better judgment. a wave of confidence washes over you. “as in fucking an endless amount of people?”

chan swallows before sighing. you turn your attention to his plus one, smiling sweetly as you take a sip from your beverage.

“don't think yourself so special darling. chan doesn't do relationships. you're just another person to add to his body count.” the alcohol definitely talking at this point. you try to hold yourself back, but it's no use. the anger you feel, the regret seeping from your pores.

his plus one scoffs before walking away, chan shaking his head slowly. you smirk, giving his plus one a small wave in a sarcastic manner.

“do you have to?” chan sighs. you cock an eyebrow.

“do i have to what? i mean, you're the one that ate me out and then decided to ghost me, chan.”

“that wasn't my intention..”

“no?! then why do it?”

“because..”

“because what chan?! is it because i'm a virgin? i know i don't have experience but if that's the case, then that's fucked up!”

“no! i–”

“you knew it was my first time being eaten out chan!” you interrupt him, the alcohol soon fading away as your emotions override your thoughts. “you eat me up and you're quick to leave me, confused. and on top of that, you fucking ghost me!”

“i'm sorry yn. i know it was so shitty of me to do that but–”

“you don't have to worry about me being bad chan. i've watched so many porn videos that i think i know what i'm doing. i mean, i know i'm not as skilled as your previous one night stands but i can improve.” you ramble.

“yn!” the firmness of his voice shocks you a little, making you pout and look at your feet.

“i know no amount of sorrys can make up for my shitty behaviour towards you but if you just shut up for one second and let me explain.” chan chuckles softly, his tone of voice soft and playful letting you know that he is joking.

“sorry.” you mumble as you look at him, holding up your glass “think i've had a bit too much to drink..”

“yeah, no shit.” you flush a soft pink colour as you shift your weight from one foot to the other.

“the reason i left so sudden that day was because i was scared, yn.”

“scared?” you tilt your head to the side as chan hums and nods. “why?”

“because i didn't want to hurt you. i could feel myself getting so overwhelmed and feral. the softness of your skin, the sinful yet sweet moans. i felt so.. animalistic.. like, i wasn't there. and it scared me yn because if i stayed, i would've hurt you.”

“but.. why did you ghost me after?”

“because every time i see anything remotely about you, it takes me back to that day. i wanted to forget yn, to keep the image i have of you pure and innocent but fuck.. since that day, my head has been so consumed with sinful thoughts of you. i want to ruin you, corrupt you yn..”

“i still don't understand chan.. why do you feel like that about me? is it just me or do you feel like that about your other one night stands?”

“no, i don't yn. these past few days being away from you has made me realise something, something i've been so ignorant to. a feeling i've been concealing in the form of sex.”

“huh??” you tilt your head, feeling confused as ever. chan takes your hand that's not holding the glass, intertwining his fingers with yours. you blink at him as you watch, his face softening and eyes sparkling.

“i like you, yn.”

“oh!” you grin, “i like you too! you're like, my bestest friend ever, chan!”

chan sighs softly as he laughs, shaking his head.

“y'know, for someone so smart, you really are a little dense, yn.” you furrow your brows, taking slight offense to that sentence.

“he–” you being to protest only to be silenced by the feel of another's lips. your mind turns blank as your body is still like a statue. your eyes widen at the sudden action, the familiar wispy bits of black hair the only thing you see.

his lips are soft. the kiss is gentle with little to no pressure being put into it. it's close to being just a simple peck but the way his lips linger on yours is telling you is more than that.

your mind works on overdrive as you fail to push him away due to the fact that you don't hate it. it feels normal, natural. you've spent days wondering and filling yourself up with anxiety over whether you and chan would still remain friends and it turns out that you'll both be something much more.

chan pulls away slowly, laughing at your shocked expression that's paired with rose tinted cheeks.

“do you understand now, yn?” he says softly. “do you understand why i distanced myself from you?”

“i do..” you whisper. it's just you and him together, in a club full of drunk adults grinding on one another, yet, you can't hear the noise. it's blurred out, a distance noise in the background. the only thing you can focus on is chan, the kiss and the way your heart is erratically thumping against your rib cage.

“you didn't have to leave..” you mumble as you chew your lip. chan tilts his head to the side in confusion.

“excuse me?”

“that day.. you didn't have to leave. you could've stayed.”

“yn.. what are you implying?” you twiddle your thumbs before combing your fingers through your hair.

“that i wanted you to stay with me.” you whisper, swallowing thickly as chan gives you slow blinks as he tries to process everything.

“even after everything i've confessed to you, you still want me?”

“yes. i want to finish what we started.”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“are you sure yn?”

“yes chan. for the millionth time yes. just shut up and eat me.” you groan as you push his head down between your legs earning yourself a chuckle.

“impatient much?” he hums as he squeezes your thighs gently.

“i haven't stopped thinking about this, about you.”

“oh really?” a hint of cockiness dripping from chan's words as he peppers kisses along your inner thighs. goosebumps rise and ripple along your skin, making you whimper and squirm.

“really. every time i closed my eyes, all i could see was you between my legs again.”

“and what was i doing, angel?” he purrs as he looks up at your flustered state through his lashes.

“chan…” you whisper, feeling heat rise up your neck to sit dormant on your cheeks.

“tell me angel. what was i doing?” he ghosts his fingers up and down your inner thigh.

“you were kissing me…”

“like this?” he asks before planting soft and gentle kisses along your inner thigh, occasionally sucking and squeezing to leave purple bruises behind.

“yes..” you breathe out.

“what else angel?”

“and then you…” you trail off, whimpering softly as chan raises his eyebrow at you.

“go on.” he hums. you chew your lip gently, swallowing thickly as embarrassment fills your entire body. you've never done dirty talk before, the only explicit thing you've done is be eaten out–by the same man that's between your legs, yet again.

“y-you..” you stammer, words lodged in your throat due to embarrassment and fear. chan notices due to the fact he reaches up and laces his fingers with yours. he gives you a reassuring and gentle smile whilst his thumb strokes the back of your hand slowly.

“it's ok. it's just you and me, darling.”

“sorry.” you mumble. “i've never done something like this before so it's all new to me.”

“i know darling. do you want to do this with me? as in go all the way?”

“you mean as in…?” chan hums and nods his head. you've always imagined your first time being something magical and exciting. you wanted to give your virginity to someone you trust with your whole life, someone who will love and protect you for eternity. who will put a ring on your finger, walk you down the isle and start a potentially family with you.

looking back at chan, you get flashbacks of his confession back at the club. your heart hammers against your rib cage as you recall his expression–that of a love sick puppy. that's when it hits you, like a bullet to the heart; chan has always looked at you like that.

your first time may not be as magical as you had hoped, but one thing you know for sure, is that chan will vow to love and protect you.

“i want it. i want you to be my first.” blood rushes to chan's cheeks (and penis) as his heart thumps erratically against his chest to the point where he thinks he might be having a heart attack.

“are you sure?? like, 100%” his voice laced with concern. he wants to hear it, hear the confidence in your voice that tells him;

“yes. i'm sure.”

chan closes his eyes slowly as he inhales deeply. now is not the time to be animalistic. it's your first time, he has to be gentle. imagine that you're some type of art work that's delicate to the touch. he can't ruin you–not yet anyways.

with a simple nod and “ok” from him, he dives back between your legs. he gentle sucks on your clit whilst squeezing your inner thighs gently. he licks, sucks and gently nibbles, soft hums of contentment ripple from the back of his throat.

you groan softly, fingers automatically tangling in chan's hair. you feel the muscle of his tongue dip between your folds and lap at your juices. your taste coats his taste buds, making him shiver and relive the previous night that he has burned deep inside his brain.

“gosh, you're so beautiful.” he mumbles before his tongue dives into your entrance. you don't have time to retaliate. just a simple, unplanned moan was all you could muster from the sudden feeling.

you feel the pad of his thumb rub slow circles on your sensitive clit. it's enough pressure to make you feel something, to make you arch your back up off the back and groan loudly.

“c-chan!!” you whimper. your hair sticking to your skin due to it coating in sweat quickly. that all too familiar knot in the pit of your stomach tightening and tightening. your thighs start to shake, breathless pants and empty moans fall past your now dry lips.

chan carries on assaulting your cunt with his tongue and thumb. he'd occasionally look at you through his lashes, his cock twitching at the sight of your rosy cheeks and glass eyes.

“chan.. please.” you effortlessly pant as chan smirks against your pussy. he removes his tongue and pulls away to kneel between your legs. you watch him as sits back on his feet. his chin and lips glistening with saliva and spit.

he uses two fingers to rub between your folds. he keeps his eyes on you at all times to grab a hint of discomfort from you. he slowly pushes one finger inside, pushing until he's at the first knuckle. he's welcomed by warm and squishy walls that contract around the single digit.

he slowly pumps his finger in and out, watching your brows furrow together and body twist side to side. you've fingered yourself before, plenty of times in fact, but nothing compares to what you're feeling now.

chan's fingers are thicker, he has technique. his finger curls against your walls as it caresses them. his finger becomes slick with your juices. the wet, sloppy sounds echoing in the bedroom; an embarrassing reminder that this is all new to you.

“more.” you groan out as chan picks up the pace.

“more? are you sure?”

“yes! please, i want more.” your mind is foggy. the words that come out off your mouth feel alien–like it's not you that's talking, but someone else who's much more experienced.

chan nods before adding in a second finger. you groan once more as the feeling of his thick fingers fill you up so effortlessly. he curls them as he pushes more inside you. you pant heavily as he pumps them at a reasonable pace, occasionally scissoring you.

you tighten around chan. a sudden shock of pleasure rushes down your spine as chan rubs your clit with his free hand. the knot tightens, legs quiver as you grip onto the sheets.

“c-chan!!”

“it's ok darling. cum.” moaning chan's name loudly, your walls pulse and contract around his digits as your legs shake uncontrollably. your stomach dips as you try to process the intensity of your orgasm.

chan slowly pulls his fingers out to undress himself. you watch him with half-lidded eyes as he takes a condom out of his wallet.

“we're really doing this, huh?” you whisper.

“do you want to?”

“i do but, i'm scared..” chan smiles softly before leaning over you. he rests on his forearms that are either side of your head, stroking your sweaty hair away from your face.

“it's ok to be scared.”

“it is?”

“yes. this is a whole new experience for you. you're at your most vulnerable, baring all for me to see. you're allowing me to touch your most intimate parts and well, do things to you. you're experiencing new things as well as new feelings. it's normal for you to be scared.”

“will the relationship between us change?”

“i think so.” the colour drains from your face. you can't lose chan, not now, not ever!

“h-how?”

“if you say yes to being mine.” chan smirks as you whine, gently slapping his bicep

“you gave me a heart attack!!”

“wasn't my intention.” chan laughs softly before kissing the tip of your nose gently. “ready?”

“ready.”

chan nods before kneeling up. he pulls down his underwear, his cock springing free from the restraints. your eyes widen a little at the size and thickness. many questions and thoughts of “will he fit?” and “he's too big” swim around in your head as chan opens the condom, giving himself a few pumps before rolling the rubber on his length.

“are you sure?” chan looks at you, his expression and tone of voice stern.

“positive!”

“100%?”

“chann” you whine, giggling.

“i'm just making sure darling. i don't want you to regret this, that's all.”

“chan, i'd never regret this. i want it just as much as you. i cant think of anyone else who's more loving and caring than you to give my virginity to.”

chan's cheeks flush red at the sudden confession, his cock twitching which causes you to giggle softly.

“o-ok!” a flustered chan holds your waist with one hand, the base of his cock with another.

“this will hurt. we prepared you but even so. you will stretch, it might sting at first. please tell me to stop if it becomes too much. i will go slow and i will be gentle with you. don't be afraid to be vocal, ok?!”

“ok.” you bite your lip gently as chan nods. he rubs his tip between your folds before gently and slowly pushing into your entrance.

you hiss as an overwhelming and unpleasant feeling washes over you, knocking the air out off your lungs. the stretch burns but it's not unbearable. chan soothes you by stroking your hips gently, slowly pushing under half his penis inside.

you're tight, possibly too tight but that's to be expected from you having an orgasm and have never been penetrated before. you grip onto the sheets, forgetting to breathe until chan encourages you to take deep breaths.

you look at him. he smiles softly, taking in deep breaths and exhaling slowly to encourage you to do the same. you do as you keep eye contact with chan feeling yourself calm down and your heart rate steadily beat.

“there you go. good job.” chan strokes your waist gently as you blush. “better?”

“much. thank you.”

“does it hurt?”

“a little. it's like a burning sting but it's bearable.”

“hopefully that'll change soon. are you ok if i start moving?”

“i-i think so..”

“ok. remember to tell me to stop if it's too much.”

you nod, closing your eyes as chan slowly starts thrusting. you bite your bottom lip gently, the first few thrusts stinging as you get accustomed to his size. but once you do, a whole new feeling explodes.

the way his hips slowly move, his hands gripping onto your hips and his cock caressing your walls is almost too much for you to bear. the soft, yet deep moans that ripple from chan's throat makes you shiver and want more. the pain you was feeling quickly turns to pleasure, tingling up and down your spine before reaching the tips of your fingers and toes.

you feel electrifying. a new, alien feeling, a feeling you never thought you would ever feel is now happening. it's so much that it's scary for you, but you don't want it to stop; you want more.

you feel your mind haze over. the bed creaking and the sheets rustling all become background noise with the sounds of your sloppy pussy and chan's grunts amplifying. your eyes flutter open as you whimper softly, reaching out to chan.

he pants softly, grabbing your wrist to kiss your palm before nuzzling his cheek into it. he then intertwines his fingers with yours, holding your hand softly yet firmly.

“more.” you choke out.

“are you sure?”

“yes! please chan!” you don't care how desperate you sound. you sound and feel like a whole new and different person. the pleasure you're feeling is bundling up in the pit of your stomach, forming a knot that tightens and tightens with each stroke of chan's cock.

chan nods and simply obliges to your request. he slowly picks up the tempo, starting small and slow before speeding up as he watches your body twist and turn. your pussy clenching around him, providing him with such warmth and wetness that he doesn't want to leave.

“fuck fuck fuck.” you groan. chan clenches his jaw, a thin layer of sweat forming on his body. he grips onto your hips a little too tightly as purple bruises form slowly.

“god you feel so good. so warm..”

“mhm.” is all you can muster as a response. your thighs shake and stomach dips as you clench around him tighter and tighter. chan mentally chuckles to himself, noticing how quick you're close to another orgasm.

with the pad of his finger, he rubs your overly sensitive clit. you cry out, empty moans and pants escaping past your lips. chan is also close, he has been since the very beginning. however, he figured that orgasming together would make the experience more special and memorable.

“close..” you whine, nails digging into chan's wrists.

“me too. together?” you frantically nod your head as the knot snaps. you pant heavily as your orgasm hits and washes over you with a forceful impact. it knocks the air out off your lungs and causes your ears to ring. you hear and feel chan grunt and halt his movements, emptying himself in the condom.

once calm from all the adrenaline and hormones does your body feel heavy with exhausting. chan slowly pulls out of you, apologising when you hiss. he takes the condom off, tying it and discarding it in the trash before flopping down beside you.

“how'd you feel?”

“tender, tired and thirsty.” you giggle, looking at chan. “but good.”

“that's good. i'll help you clean up and i can make us some food.”

“that sounds perfect.” you sit up slowly as chan shuffles off the bed. he reaches the bedroom door before spinning on his heels suddenly. his cheeks flush, eyes filling with happy tears as he beams from the words you suddenly say–

“i'll be yours.”

note: woooo. im back. i finally finished uni stuff so now i have so much time to write, read and play games. hehe!! don’t forget to leave feedback, reblog and tell me what you think here. curious as to what is next? here is my wips list! i hope you all enjoy! ‹3

tags (open): @sstarryoong ; @oshimee ; @fairylouist ; @septicrebel ; @bbujiikseu ; @cixrosie ; @alyszaen ; @writerracha ; @hyunluvxo ; @aestheticsluut ; @xcookiemonsteer

#skz smut #stray kids smut #chan #chan smut #bang chan smut #chan x you #chan x reader #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #skz x you #skz x reader #stray kids x you #stray kids x reader #skz scenarios #stray kids oneshot #skz oneshots

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so-long-soldier-writes · 4 months

Text

It's a Cruel Summer, With You

kai parker x reader | requested

summary: kai's never had anyone tell him they love him. he panics when he hears it for the first time.

tags: based on cruel summer by taylor swift, mild enemies to lovers, drinking / alcohol, secret relationship, summer love, love confessions, fear / panic, past trauma affecting relationships, emotional hurt, unrequited love (but not really), break-up, heartbreak, unhappy ending, one teensy edgar allen poe reference

word count: 5k

a/n: anon, i apologize once more for the amount of time this took! i hope you like it, and i hope i did taylor swift justice. 🩷 i also hope it makes sense bc sometimes i feel like my thoughts are just all over the place 😅

You were staring daggers into the back of his head, three days after a drastic turning point in their lives. And he, feeling your eyes upon him, turned to face you and smiled. That enraged you like nothing else; no man had ever had such an audacity with you, to raise the hell that he had and still offer a smile. You looked back down at your drink, still fuming, and still aware of him watching you, and texted your friends about it. One replied with an equal disgust, another sent a funny-to-her joke, and there was no response from the third.

“Maybe he’s got a sweet spot for you,” she had said.

“Ha.”

A sweet spot that’d make him kill you last, maybe.

You rolled your eyes exhaustedly, but by the time you looked back down, someone had slunk into the booth across from you. You jumped, then rolled your eyes a second time at the realization of who it was.

“Hey cutie.”

“Don’t call me that.”

Kai shrugged, unbothered. He kept eye contact with you in a way that made it hard to look away; his blue eyes seemed to pierce right into your soul. They weren’t bright, like Damon’s, but instead had a touch of darkness in them. Like storm clouds rolling in on a bright, sunny day. They threaten rain, but you’re not sure if the downpour will come today or tomorrow.

Kinda like how he came into Mystic Falls.

“What do you want?” You bit, after about thirty seconds of staring.

“Are you scared of me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Are you afraid of me?” He repeated, eerily softly.

“Why would you think that?” Forced bravery is better than none, especially when faced with Kai Parker.

“There’s a slight tremor in your voice. Only one finger touches the table, as if you’re unable to settle. You struggle to meet my eyes.”

“What are you, a psychologist?”

“I’m a sociopath.”

Shocker.

“So?”

“I notice things.” He took a sip of your coffee. Reached out across the table, met your eyes, and sipped your drink. Again, the audacity. “I spent a lot of my childhood isolated. I had a lot of little brothers and sisters, and they were all taught to be afraid of me. I know how to read the signs.”

“I’m not afraid of you.”

“That’s what they’d say, too.”

“Well I’m not your siblings, and I’m not putting up an act. I don’t trust you, and I think you’re an ass, but I’m not afraid of you.” Your statement’s bold, but he had struck something fierce in you. A nerve, maybe on purpose, that wasn’t going to let him win this time.

Kai smiled at that. His gaze dropped to the table, surveying your hands once more. His own pointer finger dragged along the wood. “I like you, Y/N. You’re plucky.”

The words took a moment to register - Kai saying he liked you. Kai didn’t like anyone.

He got up to leave, causing you to turn towards him, prepared to jump out of the booth if you had to. “Well don’t.”

He cocked his head. “What?”

“I don’t want you to like me. I want nothing to do with you; you said it yourself, you’re a sociopath, and I don’t need that kind of bad energy in my life.”

That seemed to be funny to him, judging by the way he chuckled. “Okay, Y/N.” He put his hands up in surrender. “I won’t like you then.”

And with that, he was gone.

Of course, he wasn’t gone - gone. Kai was never gone - gone from anything, even when people yelled at him to leave. He would disappear for a couple days, but he always came back.

And somehow, after your interaction, you’d see him more frequently at the grill, too. He’d never talk to you, but you could feel his gaze. His stone cold blues would linger on you, almost like an animal stalking prey.

It made you anxious, jittery. But somewhere, secretly, also a bit excited.

He was dangerous in a way that drew you in. He had this aura about him that intrigued you as much as it scared you. You knew what he had done, and what he was capable of, and yet he still occupied the curious corners of your mind.

And somehow, he seemed to know that.

♫

How it happened from there is something you still question. Death glares became stolen glances, became blushing smiles, and by the next time he joined you at your booth, you didn’t try to fight him off. Kai ordered an uncharacteristically pink cocktail to match your own tropical choice. Neither said much as you both drank the rum mixtures down to the ice. You communicated in eye contact, mostly, as if daring the other to speak. Your stubborn personalities that should’ve clashed seemed to meld together instead. An intense staring contest was born. You found yourself entertained in the game, and quickly, enjoying it, too.

The booze soaked your brain as you continued to drink; your thoughts were fuzzy, and whenever you tried to catch them, they’d dissipate like cotton candy dropped in water. When Liv closed the restaurant around midnight, she unknowingly crashed the floodgates that weakly stood between you two. Ten feet out onto the street, you fell into him and he held you up. You laughed in his arms, partly due to your own drunken state, but partly that it’s Kai keeping you on your toes. He held you tight until you found your footing, just for you to crash your lips onto his unsuspecting own. The witch, taken aback but not opposed to it, let you taste him for a moment before kissing back. He pushed you up to the nearest wall, feeling and exploring, before hailing a ride back to your place.

It had been forever for both of you. The uber driver with a ‘no touching’ rule sobered you up a little, but not enough to make you think twice about it. By the time he laid you down on your sheets, any doubt in your mind had fizzled out. He was a gentle lover, much to your surprise, likely because it was such an unfamiliar feeling to be so intimate with another. The little control you tried to take was met with a laugh, and you understood the signal. You didn’t mind being underneath him, though, nor did you mind him staying the night.

Guilt struck you when you first woke up in his arms, but not enough to barr yourselves from meeting again. The first few times you had to be drinking to convince yourself it was okay, but the more morning-afters you spent together, the less ashamed you started to feel. With time, nights started to feel less like hookups and more like something else. He became something you adored when you had, and craved when you did not. The feelings were mutual, though harder to pull out from the siphon, until you asked him directly, putting both your hearts out for the other to grab.

“What are we?” You asked, head leaning on the vending machine as he fetched himself a post-high gatorade. A bag of cookies were held in your own hand from the exchange you made one minute prior.

“Having fun,” Kai replied.

“Kai…”

“Or so I think,” he followed his words, questioning the look on your face.

“Are we anything more? Will we ever be?”

A loud voice down the hall that vaguely resembled his sister made a sharp remark to another person. His response sounded closer, as if they were heading in your direction. Kai grabbed your arm and muttered a simple cloaking spell until they both passed. Liv and Tyler both disappeared into her room, then Kai removed his hand. His touch lingered on your skin for a moment. You’ve grown to quite like the feeling.

“I don’t know,” he confessed, “I’m not exactly the person for relationships, if you aren’t aware. I’m a sociopath that was locked in complete isolation for eighteen years.”

“I don’t care.” You grabbed his hand and laced your fingers together. “I like you. I don’t want this to stop. I want it to be more.”

“I’m not built for this.”

“But do you want it?”

His mouth went dry as he already knew the truth. He did. He wanted you so much, but fear held him back like a dog on a leash. He didn’t have much slack. “I want you,” he finally said. “I want this to work.”

“I’m not good at relationships, either. We’re figuring this out together.”

Kai seemed to accept that better, and two minutes later, he climbed back under the sheets with you, turning on a movie and sharing snacks until you fell asleep.

♫

As your relationship progressed, it was tested, like all relationships ever are. You grew closer, more comfortable, as summer went on. Much of your time spent together was at night; you hadn’t told your friends, not ready for their questions nor their judgment, nor did you want the word out to his coven yet, afraid of whatever wrath his father could bring if he were to disapprove. You were still figuring things out, still learning about each other, and testing yourselves through time, and that was okay. Life isn’t something to be learned in a day, it’s something in which to be present to see where it takes you.

So, you let yourselves live, to do just that. On top of rooftops and beside small creeks, you snuck out to enjoy each other’s company. Mystic Falls has a lot of places to hide if you know where to look.

A couple times, you’ve almost ran into others. More than anyone being Liv and Tyler, also avoiding her father. Once, you’ve ducked under bushes to hide from Bonnie. Kai kissed your neck while his hand was clamped over your mouth, daring you to give away your position, while playfully inhibiting your chance to do so.

Sometimes, you were drunk when you found yourselves venturing the town together. The bar in which neither Matt nor Liv worked became a hotspot for you. But instead of ending the night short, you opted to explore the late hours in each other’s company. The alcohol wore off quickly, but the drunkenness brought on by your unconfessed love never did.

Kai, as it turns out, was easy to fall in love with. He was charming when you first met, but you were tickled to learn that underneath his manipulation tactics, he could be just as endearing authentically. He was a jokester and a flirt, whether across a room when you’d spot each other in public, or when you were hanging out together alone. You were never afraid to be alone with him. If your friends knew you were out with him, alone, at night, they would’ve freaked, but he always made you feel safe. And, once he felt comfortable being vulnerable with you, he revealed a side that could be sweet, too.

Even after arguments, you were able to patch things up as if they hadn’t happened. Sometimes, he’d be bristling and volatile, but you knew that a lot of his anger came from a place of fear. You learned what to say that would calm him down; you told him what he needed to hear to feel safe again. You’d provide him with the comfort he’d always desired, and when he settled, he’d melt into your touch and softly request forgiveness.

You complimented each other perfectly. And while it took you a moment to name the emotion, the feeling had been there all along. It was love.

♫

You were only slightly drunk the first time you realized the truth. Kai was painted in perfect, purple lighting, and his eyes seemed to sparkle when they met yours. You stumbled towards him and put your arms around his neck. He caught you, hands finding your waist. The music seemed to fade out as you swayed with him to the beat. It was as if a bubble captured you both, drowning out the rest of the world, making him your world, and in that moment, nothing else existed. You kissed him quickly, desperately, like an addict gone too long without a hit. He met you halfway, equally addicted.

And then, because you were young, and stupid, and courageously in love, you blurted out the words swimming restlessly in your mind,

“I love you.”

You looked up at him, not expecting an answer just yet, but to offer an encouraging smile. Before your gaze even reached his, his body tensed. His hands felt like ice upon your nervously warmed skin, and his once-strong grip on your waist loosened. Kai wore an expression of confusion, different from the emotion that you tasted on his lips. You opened your mouth to retract the words, but nothing came out. The bubble that consumed you seemed to crack; the music previously blocked filled your eardrums once again.

A fraction of a second later, you were guided to a hallway by your fingertips. The narrow path reduced some of the music, but most of the traffic. The man of your affection took to one wall, leaving you in the middle. You tried for his hand after he let it go, but dropped it at the discomfort he seemed to feel in having you hold it.

You racked your brain for the right words, but nothing seemed perfect. You stared at the ground beneath your feet for a half second longer until he spoke,

“You can’t do that.”

“What?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m sorry? I don’t. What did I do wrong?” He only shook his head, prompting you further. “Was it what I said or when I said it? Because I don’t think it’s wrong of me to confess what I feel for you when I know that it’s true.”

“It can’t be true. You can’t feel that for me.”

“Why not?”

“Because…”

“Provide me with a reason,” you interrupted, “or let me do as I please. I want to love you. I do, and I won’t apologize for it.”

“Y/N-”

“We’ve had some tough times together, I know we have, but we’ve gotten through them. We - us, together - have worked through so much to get here. Of course I love you, there’s so much effort and, and, love, that connects us.” You paused, letting your thoughts catch up to your mouth. “You don’t have to say it back. You don’t even have to acknowledge it, if you’re not ready. I know it’s a big step.”

“You can’t go there, Y/N.”

“I know, okay, maybe it was too much, too soon. I’m sor-”

“No, you can’t ever go there. You can’t love me and you shouldn’t. I’m not designed for relationships, they’re not meant for me. Do you not remember the things I’ve done?”

“We’ve talked about this, Kai. You confided in me about your fears, but we handled them, I thought. Do you not remember what I said?”

“I do, but-”

“‘Tell me every terrible thing you ever did, and let me love you anyway’.”

“By Poe,” Kai finished.

“And it’s true. I don’t care about the things you’ve done. I want to love you, and I do.”

“But you shouldn’t. You shouldn’t excuse the things I’ve done just because you want to see me for someone who I am not. You shouldn’t be so desperate to see a difference in me that you convince yourself you love me.”

“What?! Kai, I’m not excusing nor am I desperate. I know you’re different from the you that wrought pain upon the town. That guy’s gone, buried, with this you in his place. And I quite like this you, and I’ve learned to love him, because his progress is worth loving. He is worth loving. You are.”

“The old Y/N would never say such things about her sworn enemy. You’d never dare hold his hand, nor kiss his lips, nor say such things, because you’d know better, and if you did, it’d be because of some horrible nightmare, or some instance where I spelled you to get what I needed, because Y/N, we’re living in a fantasy, and none of this is real.”

“I don’t understand! This is real! We’re here, together, and we were dancing, and we were happy, and now we’re in this hallway. Still together, but now questioning if the summer we’ve spent together has all been a hoax, or if that’s the booze talking.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“You have to be, to think what you’re saying is true.” You paused, heartbroken, and afraid to show it, but pretty sure the choke in your words already had. “So are you saying you’ve never meant it? All the times you’ve kissed me were just folly? Or the nights we stayed up until the sun rose again were only dreams I made up?”

“That’s not what I meant, Y/N. I know what we’ve done, and I know we’ve shared moments, but a fantasy is all this is for us. Something we want, but cannot have. We have to wake up some day.”

“I disagree, I think we can make it work.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. This was never supposed to be a long-term thing.”

“But we said it could be! We said it could make it work!”

“And that’s what makes it a fantasy! We both know that’s a lie.”

“Kai, I don’t understand. Ten minutes ago, we were fine. Yesterday, you gave me a kiss that swept me off my feet; that replaced all my organs with butterflies; that made me feel like full-bloomed roses on the nicest day of the year. You made me feel cherished, and happy, and beautiful, but now, I feel like I’m on the end of a well-thought out joke, and everyone’s finally allowed to laugh.”

“I’m not saying this to break your heart. I’m just trying to be realistic.” He reached out to wipe a tear from your cheek, but you smacked his thumb away.

You couldn’t stop the tears from falling, but you still tried to talk through them. “I thought we were being realistic when we stayed up talking, all those nights, about how we knew each other’s flaws but were willing to work through them anyway. I would think, if we weren’t, we wouldn’t have spent a whole week together and considered getting an apartment to share, because we work just that well.”

“That only proves my point further. We haven’t been together long enough to make big decisions like that.”

“Then we’ll put it on pause and address it later.”

“Y/N-”

“Why are you doing this? Why does it seem like you’re giving up on us? Why are your words sounding like a preface to a break up?”

“Because they are,” he confessed, “because they have to be.”

“What do you mean, ‘they have to be?’”

“We can’t work. You can’t love me.”

“But I do, and I want to, and we do! We’ve managed to make it work, despite our-”

“But how long do you think we can keep this up? When will our differences outweigh our desires to stay together? When will we tell your friends about us? My family? We are too different for us to work, and I’m too damaged to be loved by you. We have to stop living in this fantasy.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this. Do you even know what you’re saying?”

“I’m not drunk, Y/N.”

“So what, have you been planning this? Have you been waiting for the perfect time? Funny, that the perfect time seems to be when I tell you I l-”

“Don’t,” he interrupted, “don’t say it again.”

“What?”

“The less you say it, the less you’ll believe it.”

“That’s bullshit. I believe it in the deepest corners of my heart. You’re etched into my bones. You’re the shimmer of light in the darkest parts of my mind. I love you, Kai Parker. I love you, and I don’t want to apologize for it, and I won’t believe that I’ve made this all up in my mind. It’s okay that you don’t love me, but don’t you dare try to say you feel nothing.”

“Y/N-”

“‘Tell me all the terrible things you’ve done, and let me love you anyway’.”

“You can’t. I won’t let you.”

“You don’t have a choice. I don’t. I can’t control my heart nor its desires. It wants you; you have it. Tell me you don’t crave it. I know you crave love, Kai. I know it in the way you kiss me, and in the way you hold me. I know it from the time you confessed, at two in the morning when you were too tired to hold back, and I know it from when you told me, clear as day, on that Wednesday afternoon. I love you, and I’m not afraid to love you. Why don’t you give in to what I know you want?!”

Because your love isn’t mine to take.

Because I don’t deserve it.

Because you’re a gemstone, perfect and pure, and I’m the dirt from which it was pulled.

“Because I don’t feel the same for you,” he said instead, “I’m not capable of love. I’m a sociopath, and anything I’ve ever said was for my own fleeting pleasure. It’s over now. I’m done. I’m bored with us.”

“What? No. Something’s wrong. This is not the same Kai I spent the summer falling in love with. Are you Damon in disguise? Pulling some sick prank?”

“I’m not, Y/N. It’s me, being realistic, and telling you I don’t love you, and I never will. It’s time to go home, Y/N, and to your own bed, in your own sheets.”

The tears streaming down your face run your make-up, but you can’t find it in yourself to care. “But my sheets smell like you.”

“Then wash them.”

The harshness in his tone was unlike anything you’ve ever heard before. When you finally brought yourself to meet his eyes, there was no light inside them, no humanity. His jaw was tensely set, and for the first time in months, you saw the Kai that everyone feared when he had broken himself free of his eighteen-year punishment. Scared and sorrowful, you backed away from him. He didn’t follow. You backed further and further away until you were stumbling out of the bar. The wicked August heat kissed your neck like he used to - passionately. You grabbed your hair, fumbling it up into a bun to get it off your skin, then searched for your phone to call a ride.

As the white sedan approached your meeting spot, you trained your blurry vision on the door, but Kai never came out. He never shouted your name, hurried down the steps, nor caught you in an apologetic embrace, blaming his temporary ignorance on too much to drink. He never peered through a fingerprint-stained window, watching you from the glass, wondering if it's too late to take back what was said. It was just silent, as car engines roared and drunk couples chattered around you.

When your ride finally came, you cried harder than you ever had in your life. Your driver glanced to the backseat, but didn't know a good time to interrupt, so he didn't. He offered a polite smile as you got out, thanked you for the five-star rating, and made sure you got in your apartment safely before pulling back onto the road.

You barely made it through the door before crashing on the couch. Exhaustion settled in your bones halfway through the drive, and you couldn’t even think about climbing the stairs. The worst headache of your life pounded in your skull. Water was too far of a walk, so you let it throb.

You tried your best not to think about Kai. His words rang in your head on repeat like an old antique bell - loud, heavy, constant. It almost felt like the whole night was a fluke. A nightmare. A spell, perhaps done by his father, or one of your disappointed friends. When you wake up, he’d be there, kissing your fingertips as the smell of coffee fills the air. You let this thought comfort you, and let it soften your heart. Although, deep down, you knew the truth.

He wouldn’t be there. He didn’t want you.

You’ve never known pain like this before.

♫

You can only ignore your friends for so long. Blaming a long to-do list can only give you so many excuses, and when Caroline messages you mid-afternoon on a Friday if you’d meet them at the Scull Bar, you realize you don’t have any more excuses left. So, cautiously, you pull yourself from your bed and drag your feet to your closet. You still haven’t washed your sheets, despite wanting to be rid of his once-comforting smell. It’s more stubbornness than anything, refusing to do the chore. If he thinks throwing a piece of fabric in the wash will rid you of him, he’s a damn fool.

You hadn’t been lying. He owns a part of your heart, and that can’t be simply washed away with some eco-friendly detergent.

Truthfully, you think, ignoring the heaviness in your bones as you enter the Scull Bar, the only way to remove him would be to carve out your heart entirely; to separate it from its lifeline and from all that’s familiar. But, you can’t, so you choose to let it bleed instead, and hope it doesn’t seep through your clothes.

A vague sadness hangs above your heads, but none of your friends know the cause. You told them you were tired before joining them. You must not have gotten a good night’s sleep.

After all, it’s the first time in Mystic Falls where something tragic isn’t happening. Damon and Elena are planning out their lives, Stefan and Caroline are newly together, and Bonnie and Enzo, a quite unexpected pair, seem to be happy. Jo is five months pregnant, and Kai has left her alone. The girls wonder if that’s of his own volition, or if someone or something is distracting him, but you don’t offer any suggestions. When they then ask you about your own dating life, you only shrug. They tease playfully, having no idea about the wreckage your heart is still trying to piece back together. The cause seems hopeless. You don’t even have the energy to confide in them.

The topic finally changes, but only because the one who dropped your glass heart enters. You turn when you catch a bit of his familiar cologne, but remind yourself he’s no longer yours and turn again just as fast. The girls let their gazes linger on him as if daring him to bother them, and for a moment, Kai wonders if you told them. But then, as they shrug and go back to their conversation, he knows you didn’t. Otherwise, they’d be hurling bitter words and sharp tools at him for breaking their best friend’s heart.

And honestly, he wishes they were.

It’s what he deserves, after all.

♫

“I love you,” you had said, only a couple weeks ago.

His heart stopped. His throat went dry.

The words seemed to have been shouted at him, despite the booming bass around them. You weren’t yelling, though, you were simply telling the truth.

A truth he wasn’t ready to hear. A confession he didn’t know how to process.

How could you, a perfect person, love him, someone so tainted and dark?

How could he ever love you the way you deserved?

He did love you, of course. He knew it long before you ever confessed, but it was never something he felt okay to share.

You always made him feel safe. Comfortable. Dare he say it, loved.

But love was something he had never felt before, and to have something means that it can be lost. And to not lose it tragically, he must be the one to take it away.

Hearing the words fall from your lips was both the best and the worst thing he could ever hear. He craves love, he knows he’s admitted it. He craves it more than anything else in the world. But wanting it and having it are two very different things, and now that he has it, he regrets asking for it.

He had to hurt you then, before your soul could be completely shattered later. He had to stop it. Right then. Before he let you in too much and you got too attached.

So, he lied.

He broke his own heart with every word, but it was nothing compared to the damage he knew it was doing to your own. He wanted nothing more than to sweep you into his arms, hold you tightly, and say it was all just a spell - an outside force trying to drive you apart - but he couldn’t. His fear of hurting you triumphed over his love for you. His mouth spoke before his mind could process the words he professed. He became unrecognizable to himself by the time he delivered his final blow. Your tears stained your perfect face and your posture was defeated, but he was no longer the one that could offer any solace. He was now the one that ruined you, and there was no coming back from what he had done.

How terrifying it is, that three little words can make or break you.

How terrifying it was, to wake up the next morning and realize the damage caused. To have to come to terms with the fact that he had broken the only good thing in his life. To imagine the love of his life sitting on the couch, stirring coffee, with a head full of questions neither will ever be able to answer.

“I love you, Kai Parker. I love you, and I don’t want to apologize for it…”

“I love you,” ain’t that the worst thing you’ve ever heard?

#malachai parker x reader #kai parker x reader #tvd fanfiction #kai parker oneshot #kai parker angst #requested #taylor swift cruel summer #kind of a songfic but not really?#kai parker fics #unhappy ending

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rebouks · 1 year

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Wyatt had begrudging agreed to grab a drink with Ichiro after work, though he’d barely said a word since arriving; he was far too busy analysing Brynn and her companion instead. He hadn’t forgotten her use of the word “cage” as she’d described her life, or the way she’d broken down on their excursion, but she didn’t appear morose, scared or on edge-.. if anything, she looked bored. Gael seemed like the perfect gentleman; he’d offered to take her coat - which she’d refused - bought her whatever she wanted, pulled out a stool for her, but the way they interacted with one another suggested they were nothing more than friends.

Their body language didn’t point toward them being lovers, or even partners, of that he was convinced; there were no subtle touches, very little eye contact, no familiarity in the way they occupied their shared space. The only time they acted like a couple was when either one of them pulled out their phone, theatrically snapping an odd photo here and there before retreating to a comfortable distance, almost as if it were a performance.

Deep in thought, Wyatt squinted as he circled through the most likely scenarios, interrupted by Ichiro waving a hand in front of his face.

“Didn’t your parents teach you not to stare?”

Wyatt pondered for a moment, “No.”

With an exasperated eyeroll, Ichiro shook his head, not sure if Wyatt was just being pedantic or not.

“My parents taught me the opposite, actually-.. watch people closely.” He elaborated.

Ichiro tutted, “Well, there’s a limit.”

Turning his attention away from Brynn, Wyatt tipped his head and acknowledged Ichiro’s complaint with a brief explanation.

“I know her-.. kinda.”

His brow rising inquisitively, Ichiro uttered, “Oh?”

“Not like that.” Wyatt smirked.

With a hearty chuckle, Ichiro replied teasingly, “That makes a change…”

Wyatt sat back in his chair and folded his arms, turning his attention toward the bar once more; Brynn’s spatial awareness left something to be desired, she hadn’t even noticed him and Ichiro sat in the corner-.. or maybe she had, and she was ignoring him on purpose. With a slight frown, he realised he was no closer to understanding why she’d sought out his company, or why she seemed so at ease with his presence; most people – except for old, clingy neighbours – didn’t want to spend any prolonged amount of time with him. He was incorrigible and distant at best, he knew that-.. he understood. He’d feigned various personalities in the past, but he couldn’t be bothered nowadays, and it didn’t exactly serve much purpose anymore. Since arriving in Mt. Komorebi, he’d lived his life as himself. Nothing less, nothing more.

“Why don’t you go and say hello?” Ichiro asked, noticing Wyatt’s attention wandering.

Wyatt scoffed as he rose to his feet, “No, I’m going home-.. you can finish my drink.”

Ichiro flashed Wyatt a smile, an annoying gesture that tore through Wyatt’s nonchalant facade, “You want her to follow you…”

“No, I don’t.” Wyatt retorted.

“You can’t fool age and wisdom, Kaito.” Ichiro practically giggled.

Wyatt grinned briefly, dropping the act. He found himself admiring Ichiro’s brazenness, not many people were willing to call him out on his bullshit; maybe it was age, or maybe he just hadn’t given his unlikely friend enough credit.

“Let’s just call it an experiment, then.” He said.

Ichiro tipped the remainder of Wyatt’s drink into his own, waving him off with amusement. “Mhm-.. take care.”

“See you.”

Ichiro watched as Wyatt bid him farewell and wandered in the opposite direction to which they’d entered the bar, straight past the couple he’d been spying on for the past half hour. Sure enough, the woman noticed his departure and hastily slid off her seat, leaving her companion to throw his hands up indignantly as she abandoned him.

“What am I supposed to do?” he complained. She didn’t seem too concerned, shrugging her shoulder loosely as she replied. “I don’t know-.. you are grown man, do whatever you want.”

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#ts4 #sims 4 #simblr #ts4 story #sims story #forever in between #fib #wyatt shaw #ichiro hirai #brynn franz #gael gilbert #you can't fool ichi!!#😆#he's so intrigued he's so desperate to know wtf is going on ahhhhhdfdf

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cinnamonest · 8 months

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No no, because yandere Adachi has so much potential. Like imagine him getting attached to just some convenience store worker he sees daily on his way home. He’d be friendly, kind, and even warn her of being safe on her way home because of the killer loose. Oh? You’re near the end of your shift? Why not just let him take you home? He’s a cop, after all. He’s trustworthy. darling would never see it coming whenever he knocks her out and drags her into his apartment. He’d be so very cruel, too. Never taking her gag off, threatening her for one wrong move. He’d expect her to play right into his fantasies (be too frightened of him to fight back and then act just like a perfect wife/girlfriend, no misbehaving needed) while acting completely insufferable.

I have like an endless amount of ideas/scenarios for this.

(Crazy that I did not even remember what day it is/notice the perfect timing until just now as I was copying this to post, but HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOHRU ADACHI)

YOU get it anon. Also PLEASE share those ideas, same goes to all 2 of my fellow Adachi appreciators here, because I have so much to say about this awful man. I'm just gonna ramble a bit here

//nasty stuff here, the usual but extra dark/intense because this is Adachi we’re talking about so how could it not be

-----

Tohru absolutely utilizes his status as a cop to his advantage. He knows it adds an element of social trust, that you won't be as on-guard with him as you would any other guy. He’s there to protect the general public, to apprehend bad guys — of course he’s a good guy!

He loves that you appreciate it — that adorable little voice, before you got to know him well enough to go by a name-basis, where you'd say ‘thank you officer! Have a great day!’ whenever he stops by the store.

So cute, so pure, so innocent, he thinks.

He wants to ruin you.

The man has some violent, violent thoughts. He doesn't even try to keep things pure and wholesome when he thinks about you, nor even limited to normal perversions. The very day he meets you, he goes home and spends the rest of the day jerking off to imagining your squeals and cries and tears with his hands around your throat. Oh, how he wants to feel you struggle, afraid and confused and the way you'd feel so betrayed when the policeman you trusted to keep you safe is balls deep in every hole you have, holding you down with ease. You look like you'd be weak. God, it would be so easy—

No, it will. It will be so easy, because he will do it.

You're probably not aware of it either. Most girls aren't, he thinks, they have no idea how weak and easily overpowered they are. He of all people would know — even when they're fighting for their lives, they’re so weak.

But you should be weak. It’s cute. Just like how you should be scared, innocent, sweet, obedient… the man definitely is the type to construct an unrealistic idea of darling in his head as perfect, someone who has no flaws in his mind, and he would absolutely have a “purity” fixation… so if that illusion is shattered in any way, he becomes very spiteful.

Canonically, he develops a crush over a woman he doesn’t even know and feels entitled to women on sheer principle of liking them, going to the extent of a woman having her own life as a “betrayal”… you’re not exempt from the exact same thing.

So God forbid he find out you’ve ever had a boyfriend or lover of any kind in the past… or worse… he’s going home one day, expecting to see his adorable beloved and wave to her from the street, only to spot her hugging and holding hands with some other guy? To realize that she's had a boyfriend this whole time?

Oh, he loses it. No outwardly — not yet — but he goes home, punches a wall, seethes and paces around for a while before moping in bed for some time.

It’s like a switch flipped in his head. Ugh. It’s like a betrayal. How could you… and as he mopes, it becomes so very obvious that this was intentional. You led him on on purpose. What were you thinking, being nice to him? You obviously wanted him to like you. It feels malicious, it’s painful.

You’re so stupid, so naive. Dumb little whore. Don’t you realize you’re playing with fire? Didn’t you think about the consequences your actions would have?

Because oh, will they have consequences. No way is he letting you get away with doing this to him. You’ll pay for what you’ve done.

He entertains that idea at the peak of his bitter wallowing — it would be just as easy as before. You probably have a TV set in your home. He could break in and just…

No. Dammit, he’s already too attached to you. He’s known you personally for a while now. He can’t do that. He wants to keep you.

It’s okay… well, no, it’s not okay, but he’s a very generous guy, you know. If you apologize and beg good enough, he’ll even consider forgiving you.

And you do. You squirm and cry and claw at his hands when he holds you up by your throat. It’s not good enough the first time, but when he squeezes down hard and tells you to try harder, asks you if that’s the best you can do, you finally get it right, finally say how sorry you are and properly beg for him to not kill you.

It’s enough to adequately make amends and begin the atonement process, at least. You’ll have the rest of your lives together to complete that process.

He makes good use of you, after bringing you home. Darling is the perfect little squeeze toy to him. He deals with a lot of stress, you know? He spends all day getting yelled at and pushed around by Dojima, and underneath the bumbling airhead act, it makes him seethe. He used to go home and break things, punch walls, throw things… but now he doesn't have to do that. He can just take all that stress out on you and your poor holes.

Holding your head down with a painful grip in your hair with one hand, holding your hips up and jerking your body back against his, nails digging into your flesh with the other, ramming into you over and over until your insides are sore and raw. Or holding your head firmly in place as you gag and cough and try to pull your head away, fucking your throat with not even an ounce of mercy, jerking your head down all the way and holding it there when he cums down your throat.

The stress relief is verbal, too. Oh, he's so, so mean, calls you every degrading term you can think of when he's rutting into you.. but it also comes out outside of those times too. He vents to you, whether you care to really listen or not. Just goes on and on about everything that upsets him, how much he hates this and that, how he wishes this or that person would just die so he wouldn't have to deal with them anymore… you never really know how to respond, but thankfully he doesn't actually seem to be looking for much of a response, more just someone to listen to him. In truth, it almost makes you feel a little bad for him... but you try to stave off such thoughts.

But that's just his default. That's when he's having a decent day, just the natural amount of stress he has. When he's had a bad day, it's much worse.

You learn to tell when he's had a bad day the moment he walks through the door — you hear how harsh each motion is, how he opens and closes the door, his footsteps, even his breathing as he makes his way over to you. The gruff ‘come here’ as he storms over to you, the harshness with which you're dragged over to bed and thrown down.

Those days are more violent — you end up with scratches and bites and bruises all over your body, strands of hair coming out where he pulled so hard, holes twitching and spasming and cum pouring out of you as you lay there exhausted and sore (as for him, though, he's out like a light as soon as it's over, and the grip he keeps on you means you're not getting up again either).

Being a cop also gives him a lot of tools most people wouldn't have access to. He has easy access to handcuffs and weapons. The handcuffs keep you however he wants you positioned, and he'll use some on your ankles too if need be.

He’s used the stun gun on his belt as a threat plenty of times — you used to think he was bluffing, but one day you go too far and it turns out it's not a bluff at all. It's a horrible, horrible sensation… but even worse is the way he laughs while he shocks you, exhilarated by — and probably, honestly, getting off to — the way you squeal and spasm.

Unfortunately, it awakens something — maybe he could use it on you more often, put it right up to your most sensitive places and see how you react… although not without building up dread and anticipation first, pressing it to your skin so that you beg and cry and he taunts you so mercilessly, with that awful awful smile on his face, before pushing the button and hearing you cry.

...But he's not always so awful. He still includes you in his normal life, at least. You almost wish he didn't. It's this oddly domestic vibe, once all the brutality of the day is out and he's tired and bored.

You talk — at first you kept being annoying and pesting him about letting you go, to which — much to your dread, a pit in your stomach every time he says it — he tells you you're never leaving, so shut up about it. But eventually, with no one else to interact with, you talk about all sorts of things, sometimes almost feeling like a normal conversation with a friend. He brings home food for you, and admittedly, you're almost surprised by the fact that he actually does ask what you want and gets you something different from what he gets based on your tastes. You didn't expect that sort of consideration.

You watch TV (he keeps you chained out of actual reach of the TV itself, just in case you get any ideas), the news (only for him to awkwardly change the channel when your disappearance was being discussed on local news), he even takes your request once or twice to pick up a movie to watch (although he's very critical, particularly if it's too ‘girly’ for his tastes).

But he's still so, so mean, such a bully. You have a lot of time to reflect on it all, and one day you confront him with it — tell him that you know that the reason he does all of this to you, the reason he can't just be normal is because he's bitter and spiteful and afraid of rejection. At first, you sound angry — and as you speak, the way his face contorts with disgust and fury makes you think you may just push him over the edge to actually kill you, and frankly, at this point, it's something you're willing to accept.

But then, tears in your eyes, voice growing quieter, you add—

I really liked you… I thought you were a good guy…

That makes him pause. He gets quiet. You see his face fall to an expression you can't quite name, eyes half-lidded and mouth pulled into a taut line.

Finally, he shrugs, giving you a cruel, snide grin.

Not my fault you were so stupid.

That's all the response you get, and remarkably, that last comment seems to make him let go of being infuriated over everything else you said. For a moment, though, you swear you catch him looking down at the ground with a miserable expression, as if those words actually had a profound effect on him… but it lasts only a second — as soon as he catches you looking at him, his eyes fixate on you again, that smile you hate so much comes creeping back, and your heart sinks as he takes agonizingly slow footsteps over to your helpless, shivering little form….

#.persona #he would be 40 years old today based on his canon DOB 🥺#this is just tip of the iceberg thoughts though... i have more ill get to eventually #also i really like the thought of cop!yanderes in general #theres a lot of potential there

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