#the fact that there is even discourse around this is embarrassing

[jackabbot]

i had a pretty busy day at work. coming back to tumblr to see that people are trying to talk around being racist again is something i don't have the energy for. being white passing doesn't make you white or erase your heritage and racial/ethnic background. europe and especially eastern europe has a very different experience with racism than the states.

it's okay to not be educated about something, it's not okay to stay that way and try to "correct" people who actually know what they're talking about.

[bomber-grl]

Peter Parker Dating hc 🕸️

Pairing(s):Peter Parker (Tom hollands)x Gn!Reader (both civilian and superhero included)

As a civilian you were probably unaware of his secret identity for a good awhile

Until you inevitably found out and began dating

How you found out well, well let’s just say it wasn’t ideal

You had been friends for awhile and the only way Peter would ever let you near him or his room (while having a crush on you) would be if he forgot something at your house or something

So you knocked and May let you know he wasn’t there but still let you in

I mean she wasn’t just gonna let you stand outside waiting for him, if anything he was to blame for not being responsible about the time you two established for meeting up

Queue you walking into his room and he’s half suited up and the both of you are just staring at eachother

That interaction led to some discourse, obviously

But after the initial shock you (surprisingly) moved on

Now if you’re a superhero working for stark for some reason then you met that way and there’s no secret identity reveal

Tbh the two of you have to have something in common

Whether its interests in comics or “nerd” stuff

something had to have led to the two of you getting together

Or maybe you’re just into easily flustered, needy men, who knows 🤷‍♀️

Like if you’re a hero then you met that way and share that in common (including tech if you’re into that)

So just imagine Peter, whose very nervous/ excited, just absolutely rambling about some interest that was briefly mentioned and that you both shared

The thing is, you’re on a date right now and he’s absolutely embarrassing himself (in his opinion)

He’d try to plan everything to perfection and gift you what he can even if he feels it might pale to what you’re used to (if you’re wealthy)

Your first date was especially memorable since not only did he display his nervousness so obviously but it was as if the universe couldn’t let his plan run smoothly

He had tripped, stuttered, made too many mistakes to count, just a piece of work all in all

To you though? It was endearing

He had wanted your first date to be the upmost perfection, even if it wasn’t an average persons “ideal” by the end-

It didn’t matter because you could tell the genuine affection he had for you so much so that he had planned this all, and unfortunately (for him) embarrassed himself beyond return in front of you

“Kill me now”

- Peter probably

He doesn’t really seem like it, if anything he seems pretty self actualized but there’s obviously moments where he feels a bit sorry (?) for the lack of a better word

He’s just always clumsy, and getting flustered easily

Especially around you

So although he might think that you probably think less than ideally of him, he couldn’t be more wrong

If anything it adds to his charm and anything he does is pretty endearing

So when you decide to share such words with Peter while you’re chilling in his room

Well, he’s floored

He thanks you but then that spirals into him stuttering and tripping over himself

Despite the fact that you complimented him to not only ease his worries but also to just let him know-

He’s groveling (exaggeration) and apologizing for, again, being himself…

Blud needs to chill out…

Usually after missions or whatever they’re called- Peter usually has minor injuries or cuts

How do you know this? You’re his main source of comfort so he’s sneak in through your window into your room as often as he can

A particular moment was when you both decided to have a sleep over at your house

It was definitely a huge progress in your relationship but you should’ve known better

While you were asleep, he snuck off and att the end of his little escapade, he snuck back in

Only thing is that he returned back through the window he snuck out from just to be met with the lights on

He visibly sunk at your disappointed gaze once he noticed you up

He isn’t in the best state so you take it easy on him and just go rummaging through your cabinets- you hoped to have something for his wounds around there somewhere

As you’re searching, Peter has taken it upon himself to convince you his injuries are nothing, just go back to bed, and is just overall downplaying his condition

You pause and just stare at him

Obviously he’s taken by surprise but he realizes he can’t do anything to stop you and just lets you continue

Even while your cleaning his wounds or bandaging him up he’s making jokes about the situation

Well maybe not jokes but we all know how rambly he gets when he’s nervous

Somehow digging himself a grave right there

On that same page

We’re all aware of how difficult it is for Peter to balance his civilian and superhero life

I’m not up for debate- it might as well be canon

He’s always having to leave school for superhero work in which it has consequences or he leaves superhero work and still has consequences in the franchise so respectfully: 🤫🤐)

Peter tries super hard to be there and include you in what’s going on but sometimes he needs to cancel or leave hang outs abruptly

You understand this obviously but it’s still upsetting, not as much if you’re a superhero id imagine

But yknow

Still annoying asf

You don’t give him hell for it even if you want to because either 1. You do the same thing (superhero) 2. He can’t help it and he already gets enough shit

He’s also super protective

Especially if you’re a civilian

It’s sort of endearing/ annoying- somehow both simultaneously

Now if you’re a hero/ avenger then you both understand things about your secret identities

Particularly about hiding them

Yknow how Ned would always help Peter out? Well you and Peter do that for eachother

If u have family or others who aren’t aware like friends- Peter has your back and vice versa

It’s just the price you need to pay

Especially since it’s not easy balancing lives

[rusalka52]

Disc Discourse

Sirius Black x Fem!Slytherin!Reader

Summary: An unlikely companionship between you and Sirius begins to form after you two share a cigarette at the annual pureblood Christmas party. Everything seems to be going very well until an argument over whose music taste is better arises.

cw: mention of bloodpurist attitudes, mention of drinking, smoking, Sirius and Reader are both a bit sleazy lmfao, Reader is a Beatles fan

4.5k words

A/N: this is a rewrite of a fic I wrote last year. I really liked the idea but hated how it was written so I redid it. It ended up completely different than the original one but the premise is still the same, enjoy!! 🫘

masterlist

This year’s annual pureblood Christmas party-gathering was by far one of the most boring ones you had to endure and your body was desperately aching for a cigarette. You hope that it will take the edge off and give you a much needed break from all the small talk you had to get through today.

Barty managed to convince his father, Mr Crouch Sr., to let him stay home and not drag him to this stupid party by using the excuse of needing to complete this three page essay assigned by professor Slughorn over the holidays. Or maybe Mr Crouch is a bit too embarrassed to be seen outside with his son’s pierced face and ears, messy hair and disruptive personality.

The Rosier twins, Evan and Pandora, were engaged in a “riveting” conversation with your classmate Mulciber. You would quite frankly rather sit through an entire two hour period History of Magic class, listening to professor Binns talk at length about another goblin war, than hear about Mulciber’s family trip to Venice or Paris or Mykonos or the Bahamas for the thousandth time with no escape.

That left you with your friend, and host of this year’s party, Regulus Black. Reggie was a really really good friend, trustworthy, reliable, helpful, and despite being a year younger than you he was really mature and a great conversation to have. However, regardless of all his redeeming qualities, he was so uptight! He would of course sit with you while you smoked to keep you company if you asked but that also meant having to endure the diatribe he was bound to launch into about all the health hazards of nicotine and its effects on the human body.

You essentially had no choice but to go looking for a quiet, secluded space in order to have a smoke. Your objective now is to find an empty balcony at the Black manor where you could get at least five minutes of peace. You carefully open the door of the gathering room, making sure no one sees you, and you slip out of the room into the long hallway. You scurry down the ornately decorated corridor, eyeing the various portraits suspiciously, praying that they don't decide to question why you're not with everyone else. If your mother finds out you smoke you're dead. Right before you reach the staircase you hear a familiar voice behind you.

“Where do you think you're going, young lady? The guests should be in the other room, not wandering the corridors” Mrs Walburga Black asks in a shrill voice. You turn around panicked, your eyes widening like a deer caught in headlights. You relax slightly when you see that it is in fact the portrait of her likeness speaking and not the real one.

“Good evening Mrs Black, lovely party tonight, thank you so much for inviting my family.” You reply hoping this distracts her; she stares at you with her gaunt, piercing eyes, waiting for you to continue.

“I was just, uh, looking for the bathroom. I need to touch up on my make-up you see.” You explain looking around nervously.

“Well the guest bathroom is the first door on the left of this hallway. You are not permitted upstairs.”

You are about to give up on your mission when suddenly Kreacher appears from the kitchen holding a tray of cakes.

“KREACHER,” she shrieks, “No, no, NO! How many times do we have to tell you that these cakes are served AFTER the wine, not before, stupid elf.” She turns her piercing gaze to the poor house elf, who just apologises to his Mistress and returns to the kitchen to fetch the wines instead. You almost feel bad for him. Almost because his mistake acted as the perfect distraction for you to slip away up the stairs unnoticed.

You tiptoe up the grand staircase that leads to the upper floors of 12 Grimmauld Place, grimacing at the shrunken house elf heads that were mounted on the walls. Merlin, no wonder Sirius behaves like that in school, if this is his childhood home. Sure, your parents were blood purists too but this was madness!

~

You finally reach the landing of the first floor and you look around, making sure that it’s empty. You make your way towards the door that is furthest down the long hall, admiring the intricate wallpaper decorating the walls. You stifle a laugh as your gaze lands on a framed photograph of Sirius when he was approximately five years old, crying because a lollipop got stuck in his hair. The next photo in the line is him with a shaved head and a pout on his plump toddler cheeks. Your hand lands on the snake carved door knob and you twist quietly hoping that the room is empty. Luck seems to be on your side tonight as you find the drawing room empty — what a perfect place to have a smoke. You enter the long, high-ceilinged room and take a moment to admire the dark olive green striped tapestries on the walls, the lush, expensive looking persian carpet beneath your feet, the roaring fireplace that kept the room warm despite the freezing London winter that controlled the weather outside. You approach the large windows that overlook the street below and, pushing aside the dark velvet curtains, you open the window and step outside, exposing your skin to the harsh elements. You curse at your past self for deciding to wear a short sleeved, knee-length dress because now you were absolutely freezing. At least the thick material kept your core somewhat warm but it was nearly not enough for you to feel comfortable.

You reach your hand into your handbag and pull out a nearly empty pack of Winston cigarettes along with a metal lighter. You put a cigarette between your lips and cup your hand around the lighter in order to prevent the wind from blowing out the fire but, unfortunately, to no avail — the wind was simply too strong. You turn over, facing away from the direction of the wind and looking out towards the courtyard of the Black household, effectively blocking the wind and finally lighting the cigarette, burning your hand in the process. You take a drag from the cigarette, wincing and shaking your hand in hopes it alleviates some of the pain. You look down at the Muggle cars rushing past, people either returning from or heading to various Christmas celebrations.

Your attention seems to be too focused on observing the various cars and couples stumbling down the street to notice the door to the drawing room creak open behind you and the footsteps, muffled by the soft carpet, that are steadily approaching.

“Boo!” You hear a male voice whisper directly in your ear and you jump in shock letting out a noise of surprise. You spin around to face the person that had just startled you, accidentally dropping your cigarette from the balcony. Your gaze lands on the dark grey coloured eyes of none other than Sirius Orion Black staring back at you with a teasing glint and a taunting smirk playing on his beautiful lips.

“Shouldn’t you be downstairs rubbing elbows with ministry officials? What are you doing here all by yourself?”

“Nothing.” You reply a bit too fast.

“Oh right, nothing…” he walks past you and leans over the balcony rail, “I’m assuming that the still lit cigarette below just apparated here by itself then?” He smirks, turning to gaze at you lazily, supporting himself on the rail with two elbows propped against it.

“I- uh, it’s not- look, please don’t tell anyone.” You plead, you were way too worried about someone discovering your unhealthy habit and telling on you. Sure you were no longer a kid but that didn’t mean you stopped being anxious of your parents. You chew on your lower lip nervously, waiting for his reply. Black finding out was one of the worst outcomes, besides being caught by your parents of course, he definitely could — and would — use this against you.

“And why shouldn’t I?” Sirius asks, a lazy smile plastered on his lips. “I mean, seeing as you are the one littering on private property.”

“Please don’t, my parents will be very cross with me!”

“Alright, I won’t tell anyone…” You exhale in relief, “if you give me a cigarette.” A wolfish grin spreads on his face.

“Are you blackmailing me, Black? And here I thought Gryffindors were honest and virtuous.” He chuckles in response and you dig into your handbag retrieving two more cigarettes. You really didn’t mind sharing, especially now that Sirius wasn’t being a total arse like he was in school. Being around his friends and trying to impress James really seemed to make him act out, but now that he is by himself, with no one around worth impressing and gaining the approval of, he was actually being quite tolerable, you'd even go as far as to say that he was even being slightly pleasant! Probably just trying to make the best out of a bad situation like you, and you can sympathise with that.

You take out your lighter, placing the cigarette between your lips and attempt to light it again. The wind however seems to have other plans once again. Sirius watched you, an amused expression on his face, and he snorts when you hiss in pain as you burn your thumb again.

“Shut up!” You chide, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance as you rub your thumb in pain.

“Here let me do it.” He fishes in his trousers pocket for his lighter and takes out an intricately chiseled silver lighter. You go to grab it from his hand and he brushes past your arm and brings the lighter close to your face. “Allow me.” He whispers; he was so close you could smell the lingering scent of alcohol fanning across your face, and he could no doubt sense the two glasses of wine you managed to sneak without your parents catching you.

“You have to inhale, remember?” He chuckles, teasing you. You quickly do as he says, turning around once your cigarette is lit, hoping that he didn't catch the faint blush prickling at your neck and rising to your cheeks. If he mentions anything you can just blame it on the freezing December weather.

“I know that…” You roll your eyes, mentally berating yourself for acting like such an idiot in front of a guy. You didn’t like him or anything but it still is embarrassing to make a fool of yourself like that in front of anyone, not just him!

You take a long puff of your cigarette looking around at the entrance to the Black family home. The drawing room balcony overlooked the street below and you could faintly make out a couple, tucked away and hiding behind a tree across the road, snogging. No doubt two guests that had snuck out of the party for some alone time. The atmosphere could have been slightly enjoyable had it not been for the dry, winter breeze that picked up as the minutes go by. You shiver, taking another quick drag of your cigarette and expelling the smoke. You just wanted to finish your smoke, go back inside and warm up, and maybe tell your mother that you feel unwell and that you want to return home to rest.

“No need to be so uptight, love, there’s no rush, just enjoy the smoke.” Sirius mentions off handedly from beside you; you almost forgot that he is still next to you. He is being uncharacteristically quiet tonight, especially juxtaposed to his loud, raucous attitude during school.

“I’m not being uptight.” You roll your eyes. “I’m cold and I don’t want to freeze to death on your balcony.”

“Oh, my! Well, where are my manners?” He gasps dramatically, taking off his black suit jacket with a grand, theatrical gesture.

“No- Stop, you don’t have to.” You begin to protest but he dismisses your objections, grabbing your upper arm and turning you to face him, he wraps his jacket around your shoulders.

“Now what sort of gentleman and proper host would I be if I didn’t take care of my guests, hm?” He quizzes, his grey eyes locked on yours and his arms still placed firmly on your shoulders, keeping his jacket on you. His scent engulfs your senses as you breathe in; the perfume he put on before the party started, smelling strongly of musk, leather and citrus, alongside the cigarettes he has smoked and the drinks he has drunk, is making your head spin.

“What’s wrong, love? Cat got your tongue?” He teases, his smirk deepening. You tut and pull away, turning back around to face the balcony, leaning on the railing in hopes he doesn’t notice the blush forming on your cheeks – you can’t blame this one on the cold anymore.

A comfortable silence forms around you two, the only sounds that can be heard is the muffled classical music from downstairs, people laughing and glasses clinking, the whistling of the wind and the rustling of the trees from the park across the street.

“We should go back in…” You sigh, putting out your finished cigarette, and throwing the butt in an ashtray on the balcony table nearby. You turn to go back inside the drawing room when Sirius’ arm stretches out in front of you, trapping you outside on the balcony with him.

“Wait, no! Don’t go.” Sirius exclaims, almost frantically, while putting out his cigarette, discarding it and stepping in front of you, completely blocking your exit. You cock your head in confusion.

“I just- look none of my friends are here and I’m so bored.” He slouches, relaxing his shoulders.

“Alright, can we at least go inside the drawing room, I don’t want anyone coming up here looking for us and seeing two fresh cigarette butts in the ashtray.” He grins at your acquiescence, stepping aside allowing you entry back inside the house.

“Ladies first.” He bows dramatically and, despite yourself, you giggle at his antics.

~

You both take a seat on the mahogany carved couches. It felt almost illegal to sit on such an intricately designed couch.

“You still have my jacket, you know.” Sirius mentions flippantly as you both get comfortable.

“Oh, sorry.” You make a move to take it off and return it to him but he puts his hand over yours.

“No, no, keep it, you look good like this.” He says, his eyes trailing over your body as if you’re not even there.

“Okay…” You draw out. “So what do you want to talk about?”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly planning on talking much.” He replies, his tongue sticking out to wet his lips, as he glances down to yours and back to your eyes. You catch his hint immediately and your thoughts start to race. A popular, albeit rude, attractive boy from your school wants to kiss you. Sure it won’t exactly mean anything special, but you’re not looking for that deep of a connection either. You’re both two bored, unsupervised and slightly intoxicated teenagers. Fuck it, what’s the worse than can happen?

“Oh yeah? And what were you planning on doing then?” You smirk playfully.

“Oh, I think you know.” He replies leaning in closer but you pull back, leaning on the velvet armchairs.

“Hm, I don’t believe I do, you’ll have to tell me what you want.”

Without missing a beat, and with no reservations whatsoever Sirius replies. “I want to kiss you.” His piercing gaze makes your heart beat in your ears and heat rise to your cheeks as you try to come up with a witty response, but no words come out of your mouth. You were not expecting him to be so straightforward but with such an arrogant man you should’ve known that this was the approach he would take.

“Can I?” He smiles smugly, taking note of your flustered and startled expression. Trying to outwit Sirius Black was a futile act and you should know that, especially after being in the majority of the same classes with him for the past seven years. You can only muster up a pathetic nod in response to his request.

He slithers over towards you, his one arm wraps around the back of the couch, around your shoulders, and his other rests on the arm of the sofa, cornering you.

He leans down closer to your face, your lips almost brushing and you wait for him to lean in.

“Don’t you want to kiss me too?” You hum in response.

“Use your words please, can you do that for me?” Your breath hitches. You can smell the alcohol and nicotine on his breath and it’s making you reel.

“I want to kiss you.” You reply.

“Well, go ahead then.” Without taking a moment to think about the fact that you're the one leaning in to kiss him and not the other way around, you’re already crashing your lips against his. You feel his lips form an insufferable smirk as you're kissing and you curse yourself internally for giving into his charms so easily.

His arm snakes around your waist as your hands root themselves in his raven hair, pulling him impossibly closer. You both pull away for air but your brief moment separated is quickly gone as Sirius buries his face in the crook of your neck, peppering soft, yet hungry, greedy, kisses along the exposed area of your neckline.

Your eyes glance towards the unlocked oak door of the drawing room and back down to Sirius who was busy planting kisses along your collarbone.

You give his hair a tug, pulling him back as he groans in annoyance.

“What?” He questions, rolling his eyes, his lips red and puffy from the kiss.

“Sirius,” you push the boy away, catching a glimpse of the door again, “someone might come looking for us…”

“They’re too busy downstairs to notice we’re missing, it will be fine, no one visits the upper floors anyway.” He explains, leaning back down, but you put your arm on his chest, stopping him.

“I mean guests, family members, classmates might stumble in looking for the loo, you never know. I don’t want word to spread that we’re shagging or something. You can guess how Slyherins are with rumours.” You roll your eyes.

“We can go to my room. It has a lock. Please?”

You nod in response. Seeing Sirius be so needy for you made your chest swell with pride. He takes your hand in his and leads you out of the drawing room, his jacket laying abandoned on the room’s ornate couch. You follow behind him up the stairs, past the scornful and disapproving look that the portrait of Phineas Nigellus Black shoots his great-great-grandson on the second floor.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourself, young man!” You hear him shout from downstairs as you reach the third floor.

“Ignore him, my room is on the last floor.” He tugs your arm, pulling you upstairs quicker, heat rising to his cheeks from his being embarrassed by the portrait’s remark.

You finally reach the topmost landing and you’re faced with two doors; one leading to Sirius's room, and the other to Regulus's. The latter was marked by a sign on the massive oak door — “Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black” —what a dork, you think to yourself. The former had a Gryffindor banner hanging from the top of it and a red tie fastened to the serpent shaped doorknob. It’s painfully obvious which door leads to Sirius’ room.

As Sirius opens the door a sudden foul stench infiltrates your senses. It’s a vile concoction of spray deodorant, wet dog, body odour, unwashed bed sheets, cigarette smoke and dirty socks. You think you are going to vomit. How can boys be so disgusting?

He walks in and turns on his lamp, illuminating the high ceilinged room.

“Ta-da! Welcome to my humble abode.” Sirius says, returning next to you.

“Merlin, Black, do you ever open any windows here?” You turn to look at him, your face grimacing in revulsion.

“Do you open the windows in the Slytherin dorms?” He raises his eyebrow, pushing you inside the room and closing the door behind you, locking it.

“Touché, you know we can’t, we’re under the Black Lake.” You roll your eyes, turning to look at him. “I mean seriously, Black, do you ever clean up in here? The room is filthy!” You continue your complaining, your eyes landing on the mess on the floor. Discarded clothes everywhere and vinyls strewn about next to his shelf, at least his record player is taken care of. You’re pretty sure you can see his underwear tossed on the ground beside his desk. You don’t have enough time to make a fuss about the obnoxious posters of motorcycles and half naked women plastered on his wall when he starts to push you towards his bed –and unmade bed sheets.

“Well I sincerely apologise, your majesty, I wasn’t exactly expecting guests tonight…” He whispers pushing you down on his bed.

“Do you need to have guests in order to clean? These aren’t acceptable living conditions, you're a grown man.” You say, your hands resuming their previous position in his hair as he lays on top of you, supporting himself on his forearms.

“Look, are we going to snog or will you keep chastising me for my unkempt room?” You answer his question by pulling him down by his hair and crashing your lips onto his again. He returns the kiss almost immediately, kissing you with much more fervour and urgency than before. Your one hand is still tangled in his messy hair while the other wraps around his neck pulling him even closer. He bites your lip, making you yelp. He takes advantage of your parted lips to slide his tongue in your mouth. His mouth leaves your lips as you take a deep breath. He starts peppering kisses down your face, over your jawline towards your neck. His hungry, drunken kisses turn into light nibbling and sucking in an attempt to leave a mark.

“Fuck, love, I want you so bad.” He whimpers against your neck.

“Oh Salazar, what would Regulus think if he saw you here like this with his brother. Merlin, what would mother and father think if they saw marks all over your neck?!” Your thoughts start to race but still, you’re too caught up in the momentary pleasures you’re feeling to push Sirius away. You feel his hand trail up your thigh, hiking up your dress and at the same time you turn your neck to give him better access. Your gaze then lands on the record shelves by his bed.

You learned about the muggle contraption from one of your classmates in third year and you fell in love with it. The idea that the ridges of a vinyl, when put in that machine could produce such lovely tunes without the use of magic simply amazed you. The record player is perched on a dark oak bookcase that contains at least fifty different vinyls, all from some of the most popular bands of the past two decades. Some of the records are worn out and tattered from the years of use, probably second hand, and they’re placed either on the bottom shelves or they’re messily thrown on the carpeted floor, while others are in pristine condition and delicately placed on the upper shelves of the case, those are his favourites, you assume.

Sirius is, of course, quick to notice the lack of attention being given to him and he follows your gaze.

“What sort of music do you listen to?” You turn back to look at him and you see his hair dishevelled and a strong blush staining his otherwise pale cheeks.

“No offence, darling, but I didn’t bring you to my room to talk about music.” He whispers leaning into your ear.

“At least tell me your favourite band.”

“Fine. I guess I’ll have to go with the Rolling Stones. Can we go back to what we were doing now?” He replies exasperated.

You pause.

“…what?”

He pulls back more, laying on his forearms now, and looks at you quizzically, head cocking like a confused puppy.

“What’s wrong with the Rolling Stones?”

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with them per se but how can you say that the Rolling Stones are your favourite band when the Beatles are right there.” You scoff, pulling yourself up more so you can properly look at his face.

“Ugh don’t tell me you’re a Beatles fan…” Sirius groans, rolling his eyes. You sit up fully now.

“Yes actually, I am.” You continue. “And they’re much better than the Rolling Stones for your information. I mean Paul McCartney and John Lennon are lyrical geniuses!” You explain.

“Oh are they now?” He says, the teasing tone returning to his voice.

“Yes, they very much are!”

“You know,” you continue, “I bet you fancy yourself as another Mick Jagger or something and that’s the only reason you like his band.” You giggle, twirling a strand of his hair at the nape of his neck around your finger.

“Well of course I do, honey, I have the hair, the eyes, and most importantly the sex appeal, wouldn’t you agree?” He teases again, lightly pinching your thigh on the exposed part of your leg after he hiked up your skirt.

You hum in response.

“Go on then, enlighten me. How are the Beatles that much better than the Rolling Stones? Because last time I checked John Lennon wasn’t the one who came up with “Sticky Fingers” or “Let It Bleed”…” He asks, his voice dropping an octave .

“Well, you must be daft if you think those albums are better than “A Hard Day’s Night”! And besides, the Beatles have albums filled with hits while the Rolling Stones have what? Maybe three good songs spread across ten albums”

“Hah, James always says the same thing!” He laughs. “Well, to me it seems that you just have shitty music taste and you hate listening to fun stuff.” He sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry in your face. You laugh at his silly antics.

“I’m so sorry that I prefer something with a little more substance and meaning than the Rolling Stones.” You roll your eyes, smile still plastered across your face as your hands bury themselves again in his hair. You pull him back down.

“Oh finally, you’re apologising!” He exclaims in faux surprise, eyebrows raising dramatically.

You shake your head mirthfully. “It’s okay to admit that the Beatles are better than the Rolling Stones, you know? I won’t tell anyone. Promise!”

“But they’re not though.” He mumbles against your jawline, underneath your ear.

“Yes they are.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

He’s about to reply with yet another “no” when your legs wrap around his waist and a sharp tug on his hair brings his face back up to your lips, making his brain short circuit and completely forget any part of the conversation you two just shared.

[cosmickid-inmotion]

Please, Mr. Miller?

Header by and the fic dedicated to @sweetlummie . Thank you for supporting this series

Dividers by @anitalenia

DBF!Joel x Reader

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First installment is Yes, Mr. Miller? but all parts can be found on my masterlist <3

Summery: Getting ready for the labor day cookout, you reminisce on Labor day last year when things with Joel began. Ft. your dad surprises you

Warnings: Virginity loss, dirty talk, PIV sex, age gap (legal, reader is over 21 so stfu y'all), size kink, bleeding from sex (I know theres been discourse over the whole bleeding your first time, but I bled soooo. It's a normal thing to happen, don't be embarrassed.) Joel is a bit of a pain slut what can I say, reader scratching Joel enough to make him bleed,

Immersivity: Reader is fem, afab, dresses v hyperfem and cutsie, reader is shorter than Joel and coded that Joel is larger, can carry you.

A/N: My last instalment for this series, the dbf holiday fucks series as I call it, caused a whole hoopla. I didn't do memorial day nor forth of july as planned. I wasn't even going to do any more but then I thought of everyone who supported me and of course my dear Lum, and decided to write one more installment. This will wrap up the series with a happy end for our dear horny bastards <3

Everything needed to be perfect. Joel was coming over for the yearly labor day cookout your dad did to celebrate the end of the summer, and oh what a summer it was!! Joel had made this time after gradating college special, spending time taking you out of town so you could both not worry about getting caught. You even had another threesome with him and Tommy, a time that was extra special now that you belonged to Joel officially.

This wouldn't be your anniversary technically. Labor Day always falls on Monday, but your anniversary was the same date of course. You spent the "anniversary" of the first time Joel and you had sex getting fucked into oblivion at Joel's house. Today was still special, because you and him would always remember Labor Day for this.

As you apply your simple make-up, pink eyeshadow and pink blush and pink lipstick to match the dress you brought over to your dads, you think back on that day.

You had been giving Joel 'fuck me' eyes for months. Ever since him and your dad became friends the last year or so, you can't deny how much you wanted him. The barrier, however, was obvious. He was your dads best friend, and then there was the fact you were a virgin.

Still, your record wasn't exactly lily white. You'd fucked around a bit here and there with boys and girls but that was the problem. They were all just like you, inexperienced. Most were boring, most only focused on what they wanted. You need a grown ass man to teach you, to guide you, to make you cum the way your vibrator could.

Joel was that man. So, you spent months sending signals...

Signals that ended up with you pushed up against your bedroom door that fateful Monday while your dad fell asleep on the couch, his body crowding you with his breath hot against your face.

"You think you are awfully cute, don't you little lady?"

You can't help smile at that. Yes, yes you do think you're cute, thank you.

"You just think you can prance around here in these little skirts and lowcut tops and get me hard like a fucking teenager not have any consiquences?"

Despite his words and harsh tone, when Joel's hand went to your hip his grip was light, letting you know you weren't being trapped.

You look up at him. "I know what I'm about, Mr. Miller."

A small smile appears on his face, and he grind his hips against your stomach, making you feel him growing erection. "You feel what you do to me?" He waits until you nod. "I think it's only right you help me take care of it, don't you? Or do I have to fuck my fist in the shower thinking of your face again?"

"No, Mr. Miller, I think I should help you, but... you have to help me with something..." You trail off, uncertain how he'll take the news.

"And what is that?"

"I'm a virgin..."

With this piece of information, Joel's face softens and he gives you a little more space. He seems like a new person, resting his head on your forehead and you see him cringing a bit.

"Shit darl'n, "m sorry. I was come'n in strong for no fucking reasons"

But you don't want him to feel bad for assuming you weren't a virgin, most people aren't by your age... "No, no don't be sorry! I... I liked it." Joel opens his eyes to look at you, your faces so close together. "i like you being dominate."

That smile again... that damn smile and you knew you were in trouble.

"You want this? You can say no, any time..."

"I do. I really fucking do."

With that, Joel kissed you... and oh what a kiss it was. Joel devoured you like this betrayal of his friendship was sending him to death row and you were his request for a last meal. He kissed you like he was willing to sacrifice it all just for your lips, that committing this sin was worth it just to be the first between your legs. He kissed you like you were his already. Joel never stopped kissing you like that, not even a year into the affair.

He took his time with you, just like you knew he would. This, this is why you trusted Joel Miller with this part of yourself. Your vibrator was at your apartment, but Joel made you cum on his lips, humping the mattress with his arms locked around your shaking legs. Then, he opened you up on his fingers, the thick digits easily maneuvering in and out of your drenched pussy before curling them up and dragging another orgasm out of you.

When Joel finally lined himself up between your legs, your pretty dress still on and the skirt flared out at the bed sheets, he tucked his face to your neck, kissing and nipping softly to not leave and marks. "Are you sure you want this, darl'n? We can stop. I promise."

But you didn't want to stop. No part of you wanted to stop.

You grab at his ass, your done up nails gripping his asscheeks. Your body felt on fire, burning for him and only for him. You knew this could never be a one time things, even before he deflowered you, you were his to keep, his to play with. "Please, Mr. Miller?" You begin to beg for him. "I need your cock, please, please, please? I need it so badly, it's all I want, I need you, only you!"

Joel groaned at the honorific, head dropping down at he began to slid into your tight hole, splitting you open. "Shiiiiiiit baby... s'fucking good... so fucking good."

Your grip on his ass tightened as the pain of being stretched peaked, nails digging in and scrapping him, making him bleed for you as you did for him.

When he's fully seated inside you, Joel plants a little kiss on your lips, humming a little in the back of his throat. "My sweet girl... saved herself just for me, huh?"

"Yes" You lie a little. For the bit. "Wanted you to be my first, Mr. Miller."

He groans, slowly pulling out almost all the way. "Love it when you call me that." then, he thrusts himself completely into you, pounding your pussy as the gentle uh, uh, uh's begin to fill the room in time the the pleasure he brings you.

"Shhhhh princess," Joel's nose nuzzles your cheek. "Gotta be quiet, remember? Can't have your daddy finding out you let his friend deflower his little girl, hm?"

You whimper at that, the secrecy, the naughty air adding to the sin happening in your old bedroom as he thrust again and again and again until you're unable to keep quiet anymore. The pleasure is too great, too strong as your orgasm approaches and he knows it. Gentle hand a contrast the the way he cock is rearranging your insides with pound ferver, Joel cups your face and puts his thumb to your lip.

No hesitation, you open your mouth and as soon as his thumb slides inside you lock your lips around him.

"Good girl... good- fuck- good fucking girl... just needed someth'n to keep your mouth busy, huh? Something to suck on? Yeah, I know baby, I know, it's a lot isn't it? It hurts a little, huh?" Joel looks down, watching the way his cock disappears into you, watching how it comes out covered in slick. He likes looking at you writhe under him, struggling to take it all... "Awwww big stretch.... That's it baby, suck on my thumb... harder, want yuh to practice for my cock, because i ain't done with yuh after tonight. You know that, don't you? You're mine, pretty girl. I'm your daddy now."

He can feel you tightening, your cunt beginning to pulse the same it did around his fingers.

"Bite down on my thumb when you cum baby, make it hurt."

You do as you're told, biting down to prevent from screaming as you cum on his cock, waves of pleasure rushing your body like the crash of the ocean on a rock. Not holding bad, you bit him to the bone and watch as his head rolls back as he cums, reveling in the pain as he floods your cunt with his spend. Again and again he fucks his cum inside your pussy, feeling it begin to leak out and down your ass crack before his softening cock finally still inside you.

There is a moment when Joel body falls on your, covering you with a blanket of just him pressed on your dress, that you think he's just going to get up and walk out. Maybe he's wake your dad up to say goodbye and then just not speak to you again now that he got what he wanted...

But he doesn't. Joel kisses you, saying he'll be right back before getting his pants on again and going to the bathroom. He returned to clean you up, calming your embarrassment when you see the blood on the sheets, and holding you until you fell asleep.

That was one year ago.

Today, you skip down the stairs at your dads,m pink dress fluttering around your knees, and hope happily outside to where you dad was grilling. A few people had trickled in, but were talking across the yard.

"Hi dad!" You start surveying the party goers, looking out over the yard. You don't see Joel yet, but Tommy is in the pool already which means Joel is probably stuck carrying in whatever they brought.

"Hi honey!" He greets you warmly. "That a new dress?"

You give a twirl. "Sure is!"

"Looks real nice, I always liked pink on you. I think Joel will like it too."

Your blood runs cold and you freeze. You don't even have it in you to act natural or confused, you just stare at him in shock. You wonder if he's about to start yelling, although that was rarely in his nature.

"I..."

Your dad smiles at you, adding cheese to a few burgers. "Relax, honey, it's fine. I saw your car at Joel's house back in May. Yuh ain't slick." He gives you a wink.

"Oh...." You say dumbly, unsure what else to say. "Are you... mad?"

"I was a little when I first saw it... but mostly because you guys didn't tell me. Then I thought about it and realized you guys were probably nervous. I figured as long as he's treat'n you right, I'm fine." He cocks an eyebrow. "And he's treating you right, ain't he? Just cause he's my friend don't mean I'm choosing his side."

Tears of relief well up in your eyes. "Yeah daddy, he does. He treats me real good."

"TOMMY!" Joel shouts walking up the driveway, carrying several bags and a cooler. "You couldn't help?!"

You and your dad laugh, and when you sniffle he leaves his grill to give you a hug. "Good. I'm glad. I just want you to be happy, and Joel's a good guy. I'm just glad it's not Tommy."

You laugh again at that, and once he's satisfied you're happy, he goes to putting the burgers on a plate.

"So... is it serious? I don't wanna be in your business, just wondering."

You watch Joel set up the snacks and beer he was specifically told not to bring, but because of who Joel is as a person he brought them anyway. He and Tommy help a kid out of the pool, and when Joel looks up he sees you staring at him from over the deck.

He grins at you and waves. You wave back. "Yeah dad. It's very serious."

You run down the steps to tell him you dont have to sneak around anymore.

If you want more joel with fem reader since this series is done and I'm largly leaving pedro characrters, check out @sweetlummie 's work! lots of v fem cute reader, including great plus size!!

Thank you all for your love on this series!!!! the first part went over 1k notes which is huge for me!!!!

I love you all dearly.

althought im not writng pedro characters as much if you are an enjoyer of my writing, check out my tag list! i got rid of it for a while but am bringing it back

thank you!!!

@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring

[olderthannetfic]

Any way you could recommend some sort of intro guide to fantasy for dummies to me?

I'd like to have a couple of magic related elements in my fics sometimes, but I'd like to sort of, sidestep the world building part if possible.

So is there some kind of bare bones universal structure I could borrow from as a reference point for like, a magic system? I don't want to embarrass myself by showing i know so little of the rules I'm breaking them all over the place. And I know tons of people have fun figuring out how things work mechanically, so I'd love being able to outsource from them so to speak because that's not what up my street at all.

--

Hah! There are so many versions of "fantasy". Right now, I'm brainstorming for a very elaborate secondary world fantasy that's heavily inspired by wuxia but not claiming to actually be wuxia. I'm trying to figure out what Western elements I want to work in and how I can come up with names that don't make me cringe.

There is no one bare bones guide and there cannot be because different subgenres have nearly nothing to do with each other. In fact, even calling it collectively "fantasy" and thinking that these subgenres belong in one category together depends on location and era.

If you want to know about magic systems... oh dear... I'm going to have to recommend... you all know it's coming... Brandon Sanderson's lectures. There are some on Youtube.

--

But before you go look at a guide, I think it's important to understand the parameters and discourse around this subject. Sanderson is the poster boy for unnecessarily complex systems that appeal to the kinds of guys who fill out wikis of canon minutia and complain that the grain harvest and export policies don't make sense in derivative fantasy doorstop #57. This kind of fan annoys the bejesus out of people who care about theme and allegory. Also the many people who've noticed that Sanderson's books would probably be better at 200k than 400. >;D

Sanderson himself is much less of a dumbass about the topic, thankfully. He talks about how there are systems that work like real world science: put in X grams of magic thing one and Y grams of magic thing two, and you get a predictable potion result. But there are also systems that are more numinous. In the same book, you may find magic that's your most boring physics homework and magic that's essentially a religious experience where strict categorization and the logic of the laboratory have no place. There can also be systems that are unknowable and systems that your characters don't understand but that the audience grasps are perfectly logical to an expert.

--

If you're using magic as set dressing in fic, decide what the vibe is and pick a system that supports that. Don't bother going full Sanderson.

Fairy tale: Magic works on feels. Twu wuv will revive dead people for no reason, and you do not need to justify anything as long as it feels right. Hanahaki fic rarely bothers to explain the science. We all know it isn't about that.

Harry Potter: Unholy mix of fake-science and rule-of-funny. You should probably pick only one to copy. If it's fake science, just write about the characters half remembering chemistry class and replace all the words with technobabble.

For another example of rule of funny, check out The ABCs of Spellcraft by Jordan Castillo Price, a gay romance series where all of the magic is puns and stupid wordplay and the general tone is extremely silly. In book 1, a villain tells his magically compelled goon to take the hero outside and "pound" him. The hero takes one look at all those muscles and is like "You know, that instruction can be interpreted multiple ways!"

Some systems are full of stupidass levels out of a video game with actual numbers. This gives fans of stories about leveling up a massive boner, but it is undesirable in most fic. Instead, treat magic like intelligence or learned skills: You know some people are naturally smarter and some people have learned more, but measuring it with a precise number is both impossible and obnoxious.

--

Decide if your magic is hereditary or learned. Western fantasy is full of hereditary magic, including magic with a simple on-off setting: you're either magical or you're not. Eastern fantasy tends to go with highly variable natural aptitude but systems that anyone can theoretically learn.

Decide if your magic is extremely literal and science-y, even if the characters don't know how their laptop works, or if it's more of a metaphor for love or social forces or if it's just a witchy aesthetic because who doesn't love a coffee shop with a punny name and pentagrams on the cups?

A lot of backdrops for shippy fic are vibes-based only. They don't stand up to the world building police, and they don't need to.

Just don't tag the fic as 'magical realism' unless you actually know what that means and are actually writing that.

[dyingchemist]

Why the Arcane fandom sucks, an essay.

There is no way to enjoy anything in this fandom I feel, and frankly as someone who isn’t a shipper in any fandom I find it suffocating that the jayvik discourse snuffs everything else out. I also find it disgusting how everyone bullies the non-shippers or OC shippers/self shippers in this fandom I’ve notice. I have also noticed a fair bit of misogyny as well, whether it’s from people who are against Mel and Jayce or Sky and Viktor, or people invading the Jayce x reader and Viktor x reader (especially the fem!reader) tags with jayvik ship material. It’s exhausting if I’m honest. I also hate how the fandom uses any shred of media interviews to basically “go see see look you’re wrong,” to anyone who just wants to enjoy the original media in the way they want to and share it with others. Regarding the post production statements from cast and crew, my personal opinion is that they often try to give relatively (key word relatively) open ended statements while also giving the statement that would be most popular. You forget these people are PR trained. Now I think it’s perfectly fine if the cast and crew think it should be one way or another and I believe it’s still left just open ended enough for everyone to enjoy things how they want. I think I just get frustrated that people are a bit too stupid to see that people will always give the most PR popular answer (except the main writer apparently who I love how his statement is always like yeahhhhh anyways shut up, but everyone else’s statements are law? Idk kinda weird.)

I just think I’m very disappointed that my favorite show is slowly becoming something I hate because of the fanbase and I feel like I and other women are not allowed to enjoy it or our comfort characters unless they shut up and agree. And honestly I am disappointed that people on either side demand answers or for things to be official rather than letting everyone be happy. It’s called headcanon for a reason.

As someone who is ND and has hyper fixations it is hard to cope with this and it’s frankly frustrating and sort of embarrassing I get in such a tizzy that I feel like I can’t just go on IG or even Pinterest and enjoy just Viktor art without it behind shipping art. And I think it’s also ridiculous that I feel like I have to explain that no, it’s not me hating two men being shipped, frankly I think some of the art is adorable, is the fact I’ll put not interested in IG and I’ll get 20 more posts, or on posts that are like Sky x Viktor there will always be some jayvik shipper screeching there. At the end of the day it’s just annoying that no one is allowed to enjoy the same show we all love in a different way and are practically forced out of the internet spaces. I don’t even go on IG anymore because it was making me sort of upset, and tumblr is on thin ice but at least I can filter tags here. (But sometimes I would like a cheeky poly fic so I don’t really filter HAHA.) What I mean to say is that the rabid shippers are pushing BNHA levels, and what I mean by that is how feral they are and if you disagree they double down and sort of terrorize the rest of the fandom which frankly I don’t think is that small of a sect. (Those the disgusting and problematic stuff is not remotely on the same scale. The worst is misogyny and at times racism.)

Fandom and specifically fanfic has always been very fem coded in my experience and it makes me feel queasy that the fanbase for my favorite show actively seems to hate women. For example there was something on tiktok or IG about an artist drawing a racist depiction of Cait and then vitkor beautifully, or the fact shippers are racist towards Mel and Sky. I see SQUAT about time bomb or CaitVi, hell even Vander and Silco! I guess the crux of it is, a little diversity would be nice, character analyses that don’t revolve around sexuality or shipping, theory’s or expansions upon characters that sort of got back burnered like Sky or other councilors or more about the sort of rebellion and why Silco and Vander had a falling out. Writing critique on the show even considering that second season was so rushed imo!

Just let the women be in the fanbase bro. I don’t care that y’all are shipping two men, great, so you shouldn’t care what I and other women are doing too! You should be like cool we love the same show!

I am curious how women/fems/or just anyone burnt out from fandom and shipping feels and copes with this. Saying cope feels sort of cringe and like it’s causing me a mental breakdown, it’s more so the “bro please let me enjoy my favorite thing too,” feeling. We should make our own community with in the fandom so we can enjoy things as well with other people too. It’s okay and it makes me want to finally share my own writings I just don’t know where to start since I’ve been a lurker for 10+ years.

Love,

A Dying Chemist

[mercymornsimpathizer]

some random thoughts on that literacy study going around, since the op has turned off rbs

one of the things that is hardest for me to wrap my mind around is that literacy and linguistic fluency are different skills. its one of those things that is obvious when you point it out -- i mean, language predates writing! there are languages that have no writing system! --but that a person might not ever consider because we are (implicitly?) taught that written language is the purest or most essential form of language. but there are people who are profoundly illiterate (in the sense that they might not even know the alphabet/writing system of their language) who nonetheless can and do speak fluently, follow conversations, enjoy and understand music/movies/etc.; in fact that is the case for the vast majority of people who are illiterate or have low literacy. it is the written word, not the word itself, that they struggle with, right?

and then you have these students in the study who in a literal sense are literate. it isn't the problem you see with low literacy adults, or with children who are learning to read, where they do not recognize or know how to pronounce a word, maybe they parse a word incorrectly or substitute it with a word they do know. it doesn't seem to me that the literal act of reading is what these students couldn't do; if their task was to produce an audiobook of bleak house they would do a passable job. rather it was making meaning of what they read that they struggled with. its the reverse of what we would expect of a low literacy reader, who has no problem in general with what words mean, who can follow and connect meaning over a discourse, who understands and might even enjoy figurative, poetic, or idiomatic phrases, who may have a large vocabulary, but cannot connect those things to written symbols. presumably (?????) the readers in the study also don't in general struggle with those things, when it comes to spoken language.

so where, exactly, is the problem? it isn't that the language itself is incomprehensible to them, and it isn't that they cannot (in the literal sense) read and write. naively it seems to me like those are the only two points where a person could fail. so what is it??? i guess it might really be the vocabulary that is the issue, in the same way that i could, for example, passably read aloud a piece of german language text without understanding it -- because its written in an alphabet I use, and I know the rules of german pronunciation, even though i don't speak german (i.e. i dont know what german words mean). or the same way that someone could sing in a language they dont understand by memorizing them sound by sound. that seems a little facile to me, especially since the words in bleak house are not really that obscure or unusual.

but like what else could it be. just that they don't read very much, and when they do read they don't "translate" it into their own words line by line? is it an issue of attention, or interest? do they assume (as the op posits) that they don't expect it to make sense to them, so they don't try to make sense of it? or its too embarrassing to admit to the facilitator that they don't get or are having a hard time? really and truly difficult for me to understand

[ahoyakosi-kape]

EDIT: Seeing all of this pointless nonsense like "a lot of people hate het ships because they aren't willing to engage with fictional relationships that involve women" gives me headaches. I hope you can acknowledge that mlm ships are still important because THEY'RE QUEER, THAT CONSERVATIVES ARE SEEKING TO CENSOR. While also noting that certain "fujoshis" are presenting sexist trash. After decades of heterosexual ships being the norm, it's now "if you hate het ships, that's because you hate women" instead of "hehe, het ships are awesome when they're bi4bi / t4t." The idea that watching men kissing men wears you out is simply embarrassing. Especially if you complain about it publicly. You suddenly sound like a right-wing jerk who hates Pride Month updates on games, even if they have been around longer than their ejaculation. If you see mothers in their 80s watching gay porn, you guys would faint. And no, whining about White homosexual guys cosplaying as Black women isn't the same as being "uncomfortable" with the amount of mlm fanfiction—the former is a real problem because it hurts Black women and the community. It's also a serious situation that White gay men would evoke their Whiteness first and last. Women drawing gay porn should be the least of your problems. If you told me that gay men aren't legitimate because they're males, I wouldn't be surprised at all. Stop propagating radfem talk. As a girl participating in fandom like millions, I acknowledge that it can be challenging to see female characters examined engagingly. It just stings that all the focus is placed on male characters with similar motifs. There are harmful clichés thrown around, like "disposable girlfriend" or "jezebel." It's evident in Arcane fandom. "They make the woman be a fujoshi/cuck so it's accessible to ignore them" is something I've read, and I agree. It's questionable; it's unwarranted. Nonetheless, it's simple to overlook half of their content without coming across as hostile. I know it's absolutely tempting to educate them, to lash out, to call them a "stupid bitch"—but if they're that idiotic, nothing can be pursued. You do not want to waste your IQ. I block some fujoshis that piss me off because it's just common sense. Yet, I keep wondering if there's an appropriate solution for it. Unfortunately, everyone's answers include "ban BL content so fans would be put to shame!" and the fact that it tolerates conservative and puritanical discourse, which backfires into endorsed homophobia (yes, it always does). You struggle to ensure civility in the face of your hatred for yaoi—yaoi that incels and dudebros despise—and are prepared to eradicate it because it is "woke trash." How much are you willing to redefine fictitious heterosexuality as a "feminist empowerment" concept? Is this not insane to you? Are all the discussions about heterosexuality being 'a tool of patriarchy' meant nothing to you? Are all those repugnant comments from dudebros in a Facebook anime fanpage that fuel your spite to create gay shit—gone? Are you really gonna woke-ify heterosexuality? The same material that's weaponised to hurt queerness? It's exasperating that many fans are driving fictional women/of colour away from romance just for White men's yaoi to be the spotlight. I know the problem, it's not for nothing, and we want to provide solutions. But, I'm begging you, with clasped hands and kneeling, there's a suitable method to talk about this without coming out as your reactionary grandfather who despises communism. Don't be soft, but be stern. Don't insinuate yourself with tactless bullying. Be clever. It's not an excuse to indulge homophobia. You have to know when to recognise intersectionality. Some fans are rancid, I know, but queerness is still queerness. Fiction and reality. Saying something like that is literally anti-gay with progressive language. Performative activism has hurt you enough.

Anyway, I think we should all just inject fentanyl into our veins for progressing like this. It's really embarrassing. I think queer people in the 90s would have a stroke seeing us with this behaviour.

[baddingtonbitch]

so like... i know that tumblr is famously the home of piss on the poor reading comprehension and that there will always be people who use their inability/refusal to read tone as license to act however they want online but it's still a little incredible to me that people saw THIS post of mine and took it as not only a serious statement of fact, but a malicious attempt to misinform the public and an open invitation for earnest discourse, hostility, mockery, accusation, and condescension.

(note the muted notifications lol)

like....i would have thought that my use of the term "spoon brain" would be enough for most people to understand that this is me playfully dunking on the people around me and myself in a facetious aside about my jaded REACTION to a sensational piece of (now debunked yet widely reported and still unretracted) mainstream news about human brains...but apparently not! i posted this off the cuff in two seconds, without tags, for the maximum intended audience of my mutuals and followers who were online at the time, and all of them easily understood my tone and intent and gave the handful of notes i expected. about a week later a bunch of tonedeaf strangers found it, took it literally, and blew it up into tens of thousands of notes of bad faith discourse and acted in ways i'm still cringing about, but that really has nothing to do with me. the absurdity of this reaction is clear to anyone who knows me, has followed me for more than two seconds, or has even a passing familiarity with the concept of sarcasm, so there's nothing really here for me to defend or apologise for. i'm mainly writing this for anyone who comes to my blog because the contrived discourse has them feeling feisty. before you act up in the notes or send me another snide or combative anon please let me remind you that i am a human being with feelings and there is only so much second hand embarrassment i can take lmfao

[icedragonlizard]

I've mentioned about this before, but I think the Kirby fandom has over-sanitized Taranza to a ridiculous degree.

Honestly? I dare say that he's been done just as dirty as Susie when it comes to how he's been treated by the fandom.

Over the years, it's been common to see people heavily soften Taranza down and make him out to be this total sweetheart after Triple Deluxe. Heck, the softening down of him doesn't even stop at post-TD, as it even happens for during the game as well. I've seen people legitimately trying to excuse his actions because "he was just following orders!!!" and I'm not even kidding when I say that I've seen people say that he did nothing wrong and that he was never a villain to begin with.

I think it should go without saying that Taranza was 100% a villain in Triple Deluxe. The guy was literally the right-hand man of a tyrant. He did bad things in Sectonia's name. That he was infatuated to her and is upset about her death doesn't excuse his actions. And whether or not Taranza redeems himself after Triple Deluxe doesn't change the fact that he was still a villain in that game.

He's a war criminal, but it's like people have been pretending that he's not. Susie is also a war criminal, but at least people have no problem admitting that. I wish they'd do the same for Taranza, too.

To be fair, I understand that HAL can easily be blamed because they've been sort of just bullying Taranza over Sectonia's death, but the fandom has absolutely NOT helped matters and instead has made the problem worse over the years. And quite frankly, I think it's been embarrassing to have seen people sand Taranza down so much.

I'm not saying that you can't feel sorry for him. I think it makes perfect sense as to why someone would want to sympathize with him, considering his lore. And I'm also not saying that you can't make him nice at all. I have no problem imagining him having a nice side. But I'm also.... not a fan of the idea of, like, completely defanging him.

Personally, I think he deserves to be flawed moral-wise even after redemption. I like the idea of making it to where he has a nice side and is in fact upset about Sectonia's death, but is also a snobby, pretentious, theatre-kid type of guy that's not afraid to do some unhinged shit from time to time. He's not immune to being a little shit alongside being a guy that has a heart for some people.

I'm generally a big fan of a "redeemed but still morally grey and can even still be a bit of an asshole" approach for many of the Dream Friends that served villainous roles throughout the Kirby games.

I make it no secret that I'm easier on Susie than some other people are, but I also make sure that she's still clearly rough around the edges even despite redeeming her. I also do this for others such as Magolor, Marx and the Mage Sisters, and I don't make Taranza an exception when it comes to this. To be clear, I have him being nicer than the other characters that I just listed here, but even he still has his rough edges and I'm not one to defang him completely.

Triple Deluxe literally shows Taranza being an arrogant, smug little shit that even loved playing the villain. Now, I can see how Sectonia's death certainly damaged his ego and how he'd be somewhat softer than before, but what if he were to eventually regrow his ego over time after he's able to start moving on? I dunno, I just feel like letting him continue to have silliness in him.

People are free to headcanon what they want in Kirby, as it's an open franchise. And I won't lie, I've seen great Taranza content with him just being a total nice guy. But I'm also... not a fan of how overly babied he's been, and comparing how he's been treated vs. how a certain other character has been treated shows some rather blatant double standards.

Taranza and Susie both deserve better than how the Kirby fandom has treated them at large. I've talked about the disproportionate Susie discourse before, but in my opinion the over-woobification of Taranza has been just as frustrating.

Both characters have been done really dirty in different ways.

[redeclipsee]

This is just going to be a little rant about Galadriel, Haladriel, Celeborn and other thingies I've seen discourse about lately. And this is by no means discrediting people's opinions. I just wanted to talk about it lol

I've always been pro-ship. Ship whatever the hell you want. "Problematic" ships, morally wrong ships, just whatever. As long as you're not being an asshole to other people.

Which led me to Haladriel. Haladriel is easily the most popular ship of the show, and with the end of S2, I've seen people attacking the ship, but I've seen more people demanding for Haladriel to become "canon" and absolutely shitting on other characters, plots and fans who enjoy other parts of the show that don't revolve around the ship. And it's quite embarrassing.

In the show, Sauron and Galadriel are foil characters to each other. I don't think hoping for them to face each other each season is unrealistic or even bad. In fact, it's expected. Whenever Sauron chooses darkness, Galadriel will choose light. It's a dance with those characters. 

BUT demanding the romantic ship to become canon and being mean to everyone who says otherwise is bad. You don't need canon to ship them or read them as romantic (because let's be real, the show left it to interpretation, and it's fantastic). Sauron and Galadriel being canon makes absolutely no sense with the lore, the world and the characters. We already know what the characters end up like, so being childish because they won't kiss is embarrassing.

Which leads me to some people hating the character Celeborn. We haven't even seen him in the show and yet, top 5 hated characters. I've seen more people attacking people who want Celeborn and Celeborn and Galadriel giving the most absolute insane takes; "he's boring", "you want Galadriel to be a tradwife", "you just hate Haladriel shippers“, among others. Which all of them are insane. How can you say he’s boring when we haven’t even seen him on the show? Galadriel can be happy, have a loving husband and be badass, be for real. And well, people can ship whatever. If people like Celedriel more than Haladriel is their right? Just as people can dislike Celedriel and like Haladriel, just be kind to each other idk.

SAURON & GALADRIEL

For me, there was a little romance between Galadriel and Sauron on S1. I think Sauron fell in love with her light and her power. I think Galadriel fell in love with the understanding that Halbrand gave her that she couldn’t find in anyone else, her “darkside” was understood. But Sauron’s idea of love can’t be anything but twisted and Galadriel could never really love Sauron. So yes, for me, there was love, but it was twisted.

Sauron is obsessed with her light. He wanted her power just as he wanted Celebrimbor’s art. And he won’t ever renounce it, so he’ll chace it and tempt her at every occasion he can, because he wants her light. Sauron, who thinks he needs to control everyone on Middle Earth to “heal” it, naturally has an obsession with the Lady of Light.

But that’s all there is. Because Galadriel could never truly love Sauron even when he’s the only one that could understand her darkest desires the most. 

GALADRIEL'S JOURNEY

I’ve seen people saying that her speech of “all peoples of Middle Earth will always resist you” is bad because it makes Galadriel abandon her personal goal of hunting Sauron for the greater good, not allowing a woman to have her own agency and advocating for everyone else. And well, I would agree if we weren’t talking about a Tolkien adaptation.

S1 Galadriel is galloping alone. No one believes her, no one understands her, and she can’t stop her quest. She’s prideful and selfish to an extent, and it’s her choices alone, her own internal desire to bring Sauron down that, unaware, brings him back to Middle Earth. She fucks up monumentally. 

S2 Galadriel is about the consequences of her actions, but also, realizing she’s not alone. Her letting go of Finrod's dagger at the end of S1 was a beautiful way of letting go of her quest. Gil-Galad and Galadriel’s relationship in S2 shines because Gil-Galad is harsh on her as much as he believes in her, and he tells her that. S2 Galadriel has no company and has to deal with the tables turned around by being part of Elrond’s company. Elrond, who was also acting stubborn like a mule and refused to listen to anyone (just like her S1 self). S2 Galadriel is about her finding that she’s not alone and that Finrod’s quest is over, and it’s time to fight for Middle Earth, all of it.

Going forward is about her becoming the Lady of Light that we know in Lord of the Rings. And yes, she’ll always have a darkside, she’ll always be prideful and ambitious, and I’m so excited to see hints of that in the upcoming seasons, but I don't think saying her putting aside her personal and prideful quest is bad is fair to the story the show is trying to tell. This is Tolkien, and it makes complete sense for it to be like that.

So yeah, in resume… I love Haladriel, but I don’t want them to ever be canon. I can’t wait for Celeborn to show up, and I can’t wait to see how the show develops Galadriel’s journey in the upcoming seasons! Just remember to be kind to other people, even if they don’t like your ships.

[steelycunt]

what were your full and complete thoughts on greta and valdin?

oh so many. i think for me a lot of my issues with contemporary fiction more broadly sort of came to a head in this book. for a brief summary the novel follows (with alternating perspectives) two russian-māori twenty-something siblings living in auckland and their extended family and allegedly navigating love and relationships but in reality navigating nothing because nothing happens. i wrote a longer review when i logged it but ill summarise it here:

1. all the characters speak the same, in speech and in thought. they have this sarcastic, self-aware, socially-awkward dry humour which leeches into everything they say and is peppered with niche, hyper-specific cultural references and liberal political signposting because thats meant to make this funnier, which it doesn't. the upshot of this is the book sounds like the author's failed observational stand-up comedy set. every single character in g&v talks like this, regardless of background, age, personality. theres this huge cast of boring characters which was hard enough to track without the fact that every line of dialogue could be spoken by any character, because they all sound the same and are granted extremely scarce physical descriptions. some of them even have the same name. old men who fled the soviet union speak in the same way, with the same cultural references, as their twenty-something queer trendy chronically-online children. a mixture of current twitter discourse threads and the distinct cadence of any tumblr post from 2016-2021 which was frankly embarrassing to read!!

2. it was very boring. i saw other people say that it needed editing, which is true, but also it just shouldn't have been published: there is no story here. there can't be, since no one does anything wrong, because they all speak like they're in a therapy session. there were no conflicts or points of tension and things which are built up as momentous arent even resolved, they just drift past as non-issues. all the characters were competing for the highest grade in therapy-speak and when that wasn't happening they were randomly meeting nondescript auxiliary family members (of which there were far too many? why did we need so many characters to stand around referencing chick flicks from thirty years ago?) who, in response to extremely simple questions, monologued about some exposition-y character backstory for another auxiliary family member until the end of the chapter. it was kinda astonishing to read under the assumption that an editor had actually seen it, because so often there was no logical explanation for shoving that much exposition dialogue at the front of the book within interactions where it makes no sense for that to be happening. there is a scene where greta goes on a first date where she explains the entirety of her older brothers backstory as a teen parent and subsequent custody battle for his child which happened like a decade ago. for several pages.

3. greta and valdin are also boring--everything wrong with the auxiliary characters is also wrong with them. valdin is this tv comedian, which makes no sense: he isn't funny, he is never funny or presented as being funny, all we know about him is he is anxious and quiet and in love with a boring man. his line of work makes no sense. neither of them have any actual problems. like all litfic characters now they seem to enjoy pretending they're poor and then something will happen to demonstrate that these are comfortably middle-class young people complaining about non-issues and obsessing over themselves. like valdin pretending he doesn't have enough money and then on a whim buying himself a car. he is also a physicist while simultaneously being very stupid. there is a whole revelatory moment where he realises that his dad coming to nz from moldova prior to the fall of the iron curtain meant he must have fled rather than just emigrated making him a refugee, which valdin is very shocked and sad about. a grown adult. greta was perhaps even more forgettable since her character arc is over after like 50 pages when she meets someone and thats genuinely, literally all that happens to her. she gets a girlfriend who is nice and talks just like her. thats it.

4. everyone in this massive family is gay. this teetered on the edge of unbelievability to me, especially when there were random distant family members showing up throughout and even to the end, who had no other function or presence in the plot at all other than announcing that they were newly out as gay. none of these announcements were revisited because again these characters did not turn up again and bore no relevance. to be honest its hard to word my issue with this in a way that wont produce objections but as a queer person who is interested in reading about queer characters i find no value or interest in a presentation of it which is so far removed from any actual lived experience as to verge on the fanciful. that is a personal taste thing. im also just sick of characters who are lazily written which authors try to pass off as being complex and interesting just because they are queer and/or a minority. i think its a disservice to the groups ur trying to gain clout for representing. im tired of queerness (and identity politics in general) being used as a crutch to elevate a bad book. books are not good solely off the back of being queer. and thats not to say queer books dont have a right to be bad because they do, but its frustrating when a book that is bad gets praised as if its actually well-written or has anything to say (which this book doesn't, like at all), solely because its queer. i dont know if its because people are less comfortable criticising works which centre around voices that are underrepresented. but that doesnt make the representation good. to me i just feel like if this book was identical in plot but everyone was straight, it would be flagged as being pretty insufferable. i dont think it stops being insufferable because theyre gay. sorry! there is excellent queer literature out there we dont need to spotlight and heap hyperbole onto the stuff that is actually shit.

ya! tldr; nothing happened, the characters were boring and the way they spoke was insufferable and repetitive, and the author had to rely very heavily on their social identities as evidence of their actually being very interesting. they were not and neither was this book. epitome of couldve been a tweet which id see reposted onto instagram and even then not find very funny or clever.

[rivendellwatch]

Im so sorry there was so little engagement for fluff week bestie :/ maybe more writers would have participated if you didn't act like a rude and deranged cunt to celedriel celrond and haladriel shippers :)

Wow. First of all, I’m genuinely sorry that you're so upset you felt the need to come into my inbox with this kind of hostility.

The fact that you had to resort to calling me a "deranged c*nt" instead of actually engaging in a mature conversation says more about you than it ever will about me. I’m not going to pretend I’m surprised—people like you often lash out when they feel powerless or unheard—but I do pity the level of bitterness it must take to come at someone running a fluff event with this kind of energy.

Second: there wasn’t “so little engagement.” That’s simply untrue. There were 25+ wonderful submissions, beautiful arts, thoughtful fics, and enthusiastic responses from people who wanted to be part of a soft and welcoming celebration of TROP ships.

If your only metric of success is how many Haladriel, Celrond, or Celedriel works showed up, then maybe your complaint is more about personal ship expectations than about the event itself. People wrote what moved them. I didn’t stop anyone from participating. I didn’t ban ships. I didn’t even comment on ships on this blog. What I did do was host and encourage, cheer people on, and celebrate every entry that came in—regardless of ship.

Let’s get one thing straight: disliking certain ships—whether it’s Haladriel, Celrond, Celedriel, or any other pairing—does not make me a “deranged c*nt.” That kind of language is uncalled for, and frankly, it's pathetic that this is the level of discourse you’re bringing to the table over fictional relationships.

The bar is on the floor, and somehow you still tripped over it.

I’ve been very open on my main about why I don’t enjoy these ships. I’ve explained my perspective in detail, with actual reasoning, boundaries, and respect for nuance. You don’t have to agree with me—in fact, you’re free to keep loving those ships with your whole heart. But having a different opinion than you doesn’t make me some frothing-at-the-mouth villain. It makes me a human being on the internet… expressing thoughts… on fandom. You know—like literally everyone else.

If your instinct is to jump straight to slurs because someone doesn’t worship the same ships you do, that’s not righteous anger. That’s emotional immaturity and a massive projection of your own insecurity because you feel insecure and threatened over fictional stuff. You’re not defending your ship—you’re embarrassing yourself.

And doing it anonymously, no less. I’m not the one who looks unhinged here, bestie.

So no, I won’t be apologizing for not liking certain ships. I won’t be silencing myself to coddle people who treat disagreement as a personal attack. And I certainly won’t be tolerating this kind of aggressive nonsense on a blog that was made to celebrate fluff.

And let’s be clear: my personal dislike for certain ships and my critique of specific toxic behaviors within fandom spaces are not the same as “being rude to shippers.” I haven’t gone out of my way to attack individuals, and I’ve kept this space neutral and friendly throughout the event. If people have chosen to block me on other platforms because they disagree with my metas or shipping opinions, that’s their choice—and I respect it. But it doesn’t give you the right to rewrite the narrative or come here and throw slurs around just because the content didn’t align with your preferences.

If you're really this pressed over a fluff event that was open to everyone, maybe take a breath, log off, and ask yourself why you’re so threatened by people enjoying things differently than you. Because from where I’m standing, I’m proud of what this event fostered—and all you've contributed is bitterness and projection.

And for the record? Coming into someone’s inbox to throw around slurs without even having the courage to attach your name to it doesn’t make you bold—it makes you pathetic. If you’re going to act this pressed over fanfiction and ship opinions, at least have the spine to stand behind your words. But I guess it’s easier to be loud and bitter when you’re hiding behind “anonymous.” Weak.

Touch some grass, reevaluate your priorities, and maybe learn how to have a conversation without resorting to slurs and tantrums.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Can I also say I've had a Red tv moment today as well, and The Moment I Knew is a huge example of how things from that relationship repeated in joever, but instead of her birthday it was Eras opening night where his absence (under different but not much better circumstances) was the moment she knew it was over.

It was a pattern in all her relationships tbh, because her own needs were repeatedly cast aside out of these men's insecurities or inconsideration. I would wager she's probably had many "moments" she knew in her life. Hence why Jake and Red are so foundational to her adulthood.

I don't think we really know enough to assume that Joe's (or whoever's) absence itself at opening night at Eras was the catalyst for ending things so I'm not like, comfortable saying that myself. Like, to me it isn't necessarily the lack of physical presence that was the (only) issue. If I had to guess, it's more the idea that she perhaps realized she was far happier and far more fulfilled on that stage in front of crowds than she was at home, and maybe even had come far closer to giving that source of pride up in order to appease whatever was going on at home than we or she realized until it happened. (Or that whatever was happening on stage in a metaphorical sense was a conflict for whatever was happening off stage.)

Maybe I'm just repeating the same thing you're saying, sorry if I'm misunderstanding you. I'm just trying to say that I don't necessarily think it's the person's physical presence that drove the conflict or epiphany because I still think that partners can show up for each other even if they're not physically in the same space, if they support each other emotionally otherwise. (And I think the last year and a half has shown that.) Candidly I don't necessarily think it's the fact that Joe wasn't at Eras opening night itself that made her pull the plug, it's that among many, many other problems she alluded to on TTPD for instance, they fundamentally disagreed on what their life should look like, and that largely centred on the scope of her career and public life, including the tour.

So like, i agree that there was A Moment She Knew on that stage, but I just don't know that I'd go so far as to say it was because her boyfriend wasn't there this time. I think it went a lot deeper than that and was about a lot of other Things.

(Just like how in the song, it's not just that Jake didn't show up to her party, it's that he promised that he would be there for her and then bailed, which was really a symptom of his insecurity and shame around dating her. Like, the point isn't that he skipped her party and she was bummed, though that's obviously part of it. It's that he was embarrassed in the end to go to it because he was embarrassed to be seen in public with her, which ties into all the discourse about insecurity and the age gap and what he was doing dating someone ten years his junior who acted her age then feeling bad that she was the age she was when that was also part of the appeal and anyway this is going to get long and circular so I am stopping here.)

Again anon sorry if this doesn't make sense, and also reiterating this is just the way I'm seeing it and I'm not saying anyone else can't see things another way 😂

[obsidianpen]

(Not offended if you don’t post this pen/and/or disagree, this can be just for you if you want) but PSA that Grey is posting on her Insta that the screenshots from The Document are lacking *context*, that of course this person didn’t include the version that made her look like an asshole, and that she has loads and loads of proof to the contrary.

Also, on her insta, Greyana shared an Ao3 comment someone left today on her story reading “Soo.. did you just download Blood and Gold & Altered State, put it into AI and come up with this bullshit? What the actual fuck.”

quick PSA that imho leaving hateful comments on Greyana’s work is not a great idea at all and imho further victimizes her and her mentality while this all gets sorted out.

the best thing we can discuss is share the Google document (truth) and the facts of what Greyana has done to mods of Reddit/Discord/Facebook to disallow what she’s done in Fandom spaces.

There will be people who inevitably like her work still. There are a lot of examples of people engaging with authors work even when authors are not good/doing bad things. there’s people who buy Addison Cain (a romance novelist who has immersed herself in lawsuits trying to lay claim to A/B/O), there’s people who loveeee Fourth Wing despite Rebecca Yarros’s Mormon mommy blog which is full of very interesting opinions. And, in our own fandom, many HP fans still purchase JKR’s works even with her anti trans activism. Plus all that’s coming out about Neil Gaiman! (To be clear these aren’t equivocal of Greyana, but pointing out many authors have a long and problematic history and we can and should discuss their bad behavior openly in the right spaces without harassing them personally and leaving cruel comments)

ObsidianPen doesn’t make money off of her amazing work and Greyana doesn’t either (right?). Don’t spread hate to our authors, spread facts in our community spaces.

Personally, I didn’t like Greyana’s story for style reasons. And this was long before I had learned of the discourse around her, but I’m not going to comment hateful things to her on her Ao3, her FB, her Insta, because that empowers her.

The best thing we can do is let the facts speak loud and proud in our communities, and let Grey fade into obscurity with whatever fans are loyal enough to remain. Or maybe change, which I think someone else here mentioned earlier. Although who the fuck knows lmao

tldr: as we have discourse, we can call out bad behavior in the right spaces but as a fandom, it’s best to avoid harassing Greyana

do with this what you will Pen, I respect the daylights out of you, and your work and contribution to the community. I will not be offended if you disagree, and if you disagree vehemently, this is your damn tumblr and you do as you please 👏

going to share this one because I completely agree with you (don’t talk to me about Neil gaiman rn I can’t, and I wasn’t even a huge fan to begin with but it still hurts!). This feels like a great post to leave this whole thing on, so I’ll respond and then I am, yet again, done with the Greyana shit (lord I hope, it’s so tiring.)

I don’t give a single shit what she posts on her Instagram stories or whatever tf (typing that sentence made me physically cringe; have I ever said anything more embarrassing? Surely not) and I will not be seeking it out (I cringed again). She knows where to find me if she wants to chat! ;) And I agree, I don’t think anyone should be sending her hateful comments. I also agree that we should stick to sharing her documented toxic behavior when appropriate, and that’s it. There will of course be people who still like her fics, as you said, and that’s their choice! I would have never batted an eye about her myself (I didn’t even know who she was until the whole AI thing was sent to me) if I hadnt sort of suddenly had many stories shared with me from many different people about their experiences being attacked and harassed (including myself, I learned!). It’s hard to not respond emotionally when you see such god awful behavior. But we shouldn’t.

I’m not going to respond to the rest of the asks I have in my inbox about this topic (for now, and hopefully forever, faaaaaahck I hate this), but know that I’ve seen them and appreciate them. I’m glad speaking up helped as many as it did. 💖💖💖💖

[thetriforcetriohouse]

Zant and Ghirahim's house

They live under the same roof and met through a Craigslist ad. Ghirahim owns the house, Zant is renting a room.

Both are Ganondorf's sugar babies. Ganondorf is desperately trying to keep that fact secret, and so far he's succeeding; neither Zant nor Ghirahim knows the other is also his sugar baby.

Zant:

Total NEET. His curtains are always closed and his lights are always off. Fortunately for Ghirahim, Zant almost never leaves his room.

Instead of his armor and helmet, Zant wears a massively oversized hoodie with the chameleon head design on the hood. When he gets embarrassed or nervous, he tugs the hood closed over his face.

His computer setup is wild. He has a custom PC and four monitors, one of which is always showing some illicit activity.

Avid 4channer. He spends most of his time on various imageboards, and is absolutely vicious.

Total weeb. His walls are covered in anime posters and his shelves are full of anime figurines.

Hardcore gamer. His mic is always on even when he doesn't talk. He audibly breathes into it.

It's easy to make him rage; there are some very famous clips of him getting angry at whatever game he's playing and screaming while he argues with people in the chat. However, anyone who's even just including those clips in a bigger compilation gets doxxed.

He's That One Regular in the VTuber's chat who sends weird messages and is a headache to deal with every single time. He throws a massive fit if he gets banned from the chat.

Into cryptocurrency. Unlike Tingle's pathetic attempts to shill every cryptocoin he comes across, Zant is smart about the ones he chooses to invest in.

No job, and yet somehow, Zant always has money for rent. No one knows how he gets it, but he always has enough money for his own snacks, stupid weeb/gamer bullshit, donations to Vtubers/streamers, and the massive number of concerning art commissions featuring himself and real life people.

Ganondorf's sugar baby. Has a collection of cat ears he wears just for Ganondorf. Refuses to believe Ganondorf would 'cheat' on him.

Stalking both Ganondorf and another girl named Sonata. He's gotten snippets of their voices, using both to train AI models and program utauloids he can make say "I love you."

The only reasons Zant hasn't kidnapped Sonata are 1. Ghirahim wouldn't appreciate it, and 2. He's been repeatedly threatened by a scary outdoorswoman that if he keeps up his bullshit she's going to break him in half.

Ghirahim:

An obscenely popular beauty vlogger. His makeup is always on point, and the views on each of his videos are in the millions.

Has his own brand of beauty products. They're not as bad as you'd think, but not as good as the price he sells them for.

Fashionista. Designs and sews his own clothes and is trying to get his own clothing brand off the ground.

Controversial as shit. He doesn't do racism or sexpestery, he's just incredibly unpleasant to work with or be around. There are multiple apology videos on his channel where he cries prettily and his mascara drips down his face the right way.

Ganondorf's sugar baby. Unlike Zant, he knows the relationship is purely transactional--that's what he signed up for. He still can't help the little twinge of jealousy whenever he sees or hears about Lyric as Ganondorf's 'real' partner, though.

Has a discord kitten. Her name is Aria, and she's Lyric's roommate. The things they've been roleplaying in their discord DMs for the past four years would send anybody to therapy--both of them are total freaks.

His house is an extravagant mansion. He's shown it off on camera more than once.

Acts like he's above internet discourse, but he and Zant are both on the messageboards late at night roasting people to fucking char.

Not a sword spirit in this iteration.

A phenomenal singer, but doesn't showcase his talent for anyone other than the people he cares about. So, not his youtube channel.

Has pestered Zant more than once about collabing with him, but Zant adamantly refuses to have his face on camera.