#the good news is none of you know who this is about and can say anything to him so when i come delete this train of thought ill be SAFE aha

[ordowrites]

when you are sad

cw: none, simple fluff and comfort, self indulgent, no pronouns used / gn!reader. slight vent, i'm sorry. established relationships.

characters: diluc, kaeya, wanderer

bad days, weeks, months are simply just bound to happen. that's sometimes how it is, and kaeya is no stranger to such things. he'd mourned the loss of family many times, and has his own, long bouts of depression.

misery loves company and he finds you out at starsnatch cliff, staring up at the endless sky and for a moment, he considers leaving you to yourself, knowing that sometimes being alone is better but he can't help but linger for a brief moment.

finally, kaeya simply elects to sit next to you and gently drapes his arm around you and pulls you close.

"it's gonna be okay." he murmurs as you slump against him. "i promise." it feels like lip service but it's all he can offer when in reality, he would take on all your troubles if it means never seeing that somber, upset look on your face ever again. he holds you closer and you rest your head on his chest. "i love you."

he never says those words out loud to anyone - let alone you, the one who caught his eye so long ago.

"i love you." he repeats, firmly. "i know it can't fix whatever is going on, but just...just remember that."

you are all the things that are right in this world - you are ambitious, outspoken, there is not a moment where you have surrendered simply because the going got tough. yet, seeing you in tears and frustrated has diluc at a loss.

your spirit is like wildfire, it burns everything in its path and here it is, damped and gone, in the wake, ashes.

"what's the matter, my beloved?" diluc is tender when he gently cups your face and wipes away your tears. it doesn't matter if you tell him or not, you'll talk about it when you're ready. "hey, hey, shhh..." he grunts in surprise when you grip him into a tight hug. "it's okay, it's okay, i'm here."

unlike kaeya, diluc isn't very good with words and he doesn't always know how to make things better (and sometimes tends to worsen things) so when you hug him, all he can do is hold you just as tightly.

he has adelinde make you your favorite food - after all, food is a love language - and prepare you a bath that you can soak in. it doesn't fix the problem, but he hopes it can at least provide some sense of comfort.

there's something about your expression that's frustrating him - the wanderer is not unfamiliar with human emotion, in fact, he understands them quite well after four hundred some years but he is perplexed by you. normally, you return his snark ten fold, you're loud, you're obnoxious, and pushy, and when he calls you an ass, you have ten times worse words for him.

"what do you want?" you ask him, tone flat. you're exhausted, he notes as he takes the seat across from you. "go away, i don't have time."

"well, i do." he retorts.

you roll your eyes. "news flash, the world does not revolve around you."

"it should," the wanderer responds, crossing his arms over his chest. "tell me what's wrong."

"i don't want to." you respond.

he snorts. "fine, have it your way." he says, grumpily. "but don't think, for a minute, i'm leaving your depressed ass alone."

"why?" you have the audacity to ask.

the wanderer, for once, does not have a proper answer for you. or a retort. he simply just stares, hopes you drop it and let it go. after awhile, he gets up and goes inside the cafe and orders you some cake and some weird sounding cold coffee. humans and their need to change things.

"a wise deity once told me that sweets can sooth the soul." he says, upon your quizzical look. "i assume she must be right."

for the first time in the two hours, you crack a small smile. and the wanderer feels victorious.

[lionhanie]

leehan as your boyfriend! ♡

established relationship, PURE fluff, leehan x reader, leehan is IN LOVE with you, also not proofread LOL!!!!!!!

word count: ~800 i think lol

warnings: none

a/n: i can't lie this whole thing was sooo self indulgent i just love him so bad #GUILTY!

literally does everything in his power to make you smile and feel good... #1 boyfriend in the world i fear!

he must have the ability to read the minds of the people he loves bc he just knows what you need all the time

...or rather than this, all of his opinions and preferences become whatever you like! (without complaint ofc, because he’s okay with anything as long as you’re satisfied)

this makes me think he’s rlly big on quality time because he seems like the type of bf to be content with just. whatever! as long as you’re there ^_^

quite literally only has eyes for you

he doesn’t really *intend* to do this, but it is so difficult for him to focus on anyone else if he has *you* there with him

everyone will always complain when they hangout with just you two bc they will always end up feeling like a third wheel :skull: 

even if you try to tease him for literally adoring you 24/7 he wouldn’t even be flustered or embarrassed. he would just nod and smile in agreeance U_U

he’ll always go out of his way to compliment you too, telling you how cute you look or how good you are at doing something. he gets a little shy every time you compliment him, but he always recovers by turning the praise back to you

even though he isn’t the best texter, i imagine he would put in extra effort to keep you updated throughout the day-- especially if it's hard to spend a lot of time together in person

you're just going about your day at school/work and you hear a notification on your phone... it's leehan sending you like 10 different angles of the new friends he got for his fish tank

or it's one of his selfies that are either 1) blurry, 2) crop out like 80% of his face, 3) at an unnatural selfie angle, or 4) all of the above. regardless, he's still your handsome boyfriend & looks amazing in every pic he sends

unironically i think he would be a DRY texter LMFAO but the way he communicates is kind of endearing. rather than sending messages, he def has a concerningly large album of reaction pics he uses for every possible situation (including ones he made himself using pics of you & the members)

dates with him are SO fun.

again, he doesn't really care too much about what you two do as long as he gets to spend time together... he's just down to try Anything and Everything so you guys never really run out of things to do together

being so eager to try new activities, i can 100% see him suggesting the most obscure data ideas & being so genuinely excited to do it no matter how odd it may seem given the context

cause Boy wdym you think fishing in a river at 12am is a fun idea for a date... it’s not necessarily like you were going to say no .... but also… this isn’t a common date activity, right?

i think he loves staying in with you the most….. sleepover!!! :3

especially after you both had tiring days; spending a night in with each other never fails to recharge you both!

ordering any food you want (he isn’t planning on eating much, so he’d rather get something you’re craving) ((after a couple bites he sits back and watches you eat w/ the biggest grin on his face))

but i think the absolute BEST part of the night is when the two of you are side by side at the bathroom counter doing a Twelve Step Skincare Routine that leehan made himself

and you’re giggling the whole time bc he takes his skincare SERIOUSLY. (that one mf who don’t play about his skincare bye)

i think he’d be super attentive, but silently though

you’d never know he’s constantly keeping track of your reactions to certain things, your different routines, your food preferences, the types of clothes you like

Ok in theory it /sounds/ creepy but he just puts in the effort to observe the way you like to do things so he can help you whenever you need it

IMAGINE you’re running late & you can’t find your phone /again/ and you’re lowkey freaking out because you Need To Leave Now but leehan just steadies you and hands you your phone

and ur kind of in awe ??? i've been looking for this for ten minutes now... How Do you have this …?

he just shrugs and explains “you always leave it underneath the blanket when you make the bed so i figured it might be there again" and motions for you to hurry before you’re late

or maybe you’re feeling under the weather & you ask him to make you a hot drink to help soothe your throat and he comes back with a mug of tea made EXACTLY how you make it for yourself

you're pleasantly surprised upon taking your first sip because …you don’t recall ever telling him how you like your tea? 

then he's sitting there with stars in his eyes and saying “i made it properly, right? :3” (clearly very proud of himself bc he remembered how you like it)

doesn't seem like the type to be too extra when it comes to PDA. if anything, he prefers small and/or secret interactions in public (it feels more intimate if only you guys know what's happening)

head pats. that’s it. he thinks the way you literally melt whenever he pats your head is the most endearing thing ever, so he'll save it /specifically/ when you're out w/ a group of people because he loves seeing you so flustered afterwards

keeping a hand on the small of your back or resting his arm on the back of your chair when you're sitting next to each other

holding your hand in his under the table, giving it a gentle squeeze as the two of you continue to talk with the others at the table

at the end of the day... he just loves you so dearly & couldn't be happier knowing that he can call you his, and you can call him yours :,)

© lionhanie 2024 ; all rights reserved!

[9w1ft]

i declare

thinking about the tortured poets department the song, and the charlie puth line, and how maybe like, the act of declaring he should be a bigger artist helps place the song into the greater timeline.

because it’s a sort of weird thing to say in 2024 of an artist that’s no longer up and coming.

charlie puth got his start in youtube in the late 2000’s and released his debut single in february 2015. and leading up to that he had several EP’s and promotional singles. it made me curious, at what point might the people en masse start to pay him attention? i checked google trends and as you can see here he gets a huge jump between the 2014 and 2015 data.

(he then gets a further jump toward 2016 when he did a promo single featuring megan trainor, and then doing “see you again” with wiz khalifa. (coincidentally this song becomes one of the guest duets featured in the 1989 tour movie))

and i was looking around at articles from this time period, when i ran into this tasty morsel:

so i clicked on through

take a little ride with me

so to summarize, charlie puth had his breakout star peak over the course of roughly 2014-2016, during which he was up for an award at the 2015 MTV VMAs. he doesn’t win, and in fact, he loses out to taylor herself! later on in the article it talks about him going to an after party and hanging out with taylor selena and others. so it had me thinking, i could almost imagine taylor talking with her friends that year or that night, or even declaring to charlie himself in the wake of his loss and her win, in a giddy manner, at the party they are reported as having talked at, that he deserves more success than he gets. in this way i came to the conclusion that the timeframe of 2015-ish (rather than 2023) really fits the spirit of the lyric “we declared charlie puth should be a bigger artist”

and

yes.

yes fam.

the 2015 vmas was that vma’s.

that vmas.

let me pull quote an excerpt from the billboard article as i included above, just to emphasize:

4:40 PM: Charlie has the good fortune to walk the carpet in the wake of Taylor Swift’s gaggle of supermodel friends, including “Bad Blood” star Karlie Kloss, leading photographers to alternately yell “Charlie! Karlie! Charlie! Karlie!” as if it were a hectic version of Name Game. While on the carpet, Puth chats with multiple news outlets, and later he says of the dealing with the paparazzi, “It’s amazing that we view people in unnatural states and just love it. I don’t really understand it — it just makes me very uncomfortable. But, whatever. I’m so appreciative to be here.”

such a fun convergence of events, don’t ya think?

and just a few extra points i thought i’d add:

first, i don’t know how many of you remember how taylor was behaving that evening, but don’t you think she was giving major golden retriever energy??

both in how she was chasing after karlie that night,

and also… call me crazy but, her hairstyle??

(also she’s in a houndstooth print, har har)

and i can kind of envision this taylor, who brought the whole bad blood music video crew as her entourage, having more than several bars of chocolate at hand for everyone that night, but ending up eating them all herself 😆

and another thing that helps tie the song to this time period (maybe some of you have guessed?) the line “who else decodes you?” is extra apt because… *da da-da daaaaa*

🤗 karlie had just embarked on her coding journey!

on a more solemn note? i don’t think it requires too much of a stretch of the imagination to see “but you awaken with dread” “i chose this cyclone with you” among other lines pointing to the new layer of stress taylor probably was harboring around being with karlie in public. because this is all taking place in the year directly following kissgate 🥺

so there you have it folks! this is why the tortured poets department is a kaylor song to me 😌

[rottingworship]

Beg and Bargain

The Proxies x Fem!Reader | Chapter Three

Chapter One | Chapter Two

Summary: Things seem to go sideways fast, but thankfully you are able to eat beforehand.

Warnings: Mean Toby, name calling, reader is referred to with she/her pronouns, pet names (love, my love)

A/N: this was fun, so fun to write! I can't say I did it all by myself, I did have some help from @babehlockdemdoors with some ideas for Toby!

Word Count: 3.2k

“What did she say?” Brian looks at Tim with curiosity.

“She made John kill himself.”

“O-O-Obviously.” Toby rolls his eyes.

“She also has a fucking roommate–” Brian goes to interupt him, Tim puts up his hand. “She controlled her. Convinced her everything was fine.”

“Her own roommate?” Brian cocks a brow.

“I also learned that John was not a great man.”

“M-most pigs aren't.”

“He was going to kill her. And he somehow knew about her abilities. And so does her roommate. But she says her roommate wouldn't tell anyone.” Tim is giving them everything he learned. “She had never used her ability for bad, so she says. I don't know what that really means though.”

There's quite a huge gray area. They aren't sure how gray you are. Nothing is black and white. Something is off with you.

“If I c-could control people-” Toby starts.

“We don't wanna know what you would do, Toby.” Brian warns. “Got anything else?”

“She's very obedient.” Tim remarks. “It’s… odd. She doesn't really question much. She was upset about the blindfold, but I kinda see why.” He pauses and looks at Toby. “Can you get in her phone?”

“Already tr-tried.” Toby shrugs. “I don't kn-know the code. She has a couple n-notifications from a ‘Val’.”

As he says that, your phone goes off. Toby pulls it from his pocket and looks at it. Another message from Val is visible on the lock screen.

Hey what the fuck was that about earlier?

Another one comes through.

Who was with u?

Toby leaves it alone. He doesn't think anything about it. None of them do. The front door opens and you step onto the porch wearing a baggy shirt down to your thighs and your feet are bare.

“What are you three still doing out here?”

_-_-_-_-_-_

Your bare feet hurt against the old wooden porch. You ignore it. You watch the three of them, your arms wrapping around yourself.

“A-are you not co-cold?” Toby cocks his head at you.

You nod at him. “Freezing. Please come in. I have a question.” You turn around and walk back inside where it's slightly warmer. Goosebumps cover your skin and your arms drop to your sides. You sigh.

Brian walks in first. “What's going on?”

“I'm famished.” As you finish your sentence Brian goes to open his mouth. “And don't say eat something around here. I already tried that.”

Tim and Toby walk in and you hear a muffled, disgustingly inappropriate song. Toby, not thinking, takes a phone from his pocket and you realize it's Val’s ringtone. It's your phone. Your eyes narrow.

“Wha-what is this ringtone?” Toby scrunches his nose.

“It's none of your business! You still have my phone on you!?” You are sure these men are going to make you pull your hair out. The phone stops ringing and you place yourself in front of Toby. It goes off again. A text this time. Toby looks at it. You try to peek at the phone but Toby is quick to move. You follow him. “Toby! What does it say?”

“It’s locked, I ca-can’t read all of it.”

You look at him with half lidded eyes, full of fucking rage. “What can you read?”

Your sudden anger seems to catch them all off guard. Toby reads what he can see from your lock screen. “It’s fr-from Val. She says ‘Saw J-John on the news. He’s dead, th-they say-’ It cuts off.”

Another ding. Another message from Val.

“She is ca-calling the police.”

You have had enough. You snatch the phone before Toby can stop you and take off. Three against one, your odds don’t look too good. You call her back without even unlocking the phone and run from Brian, Toby, and Tim.

“Get back here!”

You end up in the kitchen, behind the table, surrounded by them by time Val answers.

“Hey!” Everyone freezes as you speak. “How’s it going?” You try to sound enthused. Your eyes hit Tim and he mouths for you to put it on speaker. You comply.

“You’re out of breath.” She states it, her concern is palpable. “Where are you?”

“I’m on vacation. Just having fun-”

“With the man from earlier?” She sounds less stressed. But still concerned for your well being. When you take a second to respond, she speaks again. “Love,” She starts, “are you okay?”

“Yes.” You swallow hard. “I’m fine. I’m- I’m trying to enjoy myself.”

“You aren’t reading my messages,” Val is devastated, “and you- you used your mind powers on me. You promised you wouldn’t do that-” You pout, thankful she cannot see your face. You did promise that. “Please, I need to know that I don’t need to call the police.”

“You don’t.” You try to sound as calm as possible. “I’m o-”

“What about John?” Val’s tone… She sounds worried about him. Your face contorts. She continues, “He’s dead. They found him in the woods, a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”

“What does that have to do with me?” You are gripping your phone. Your eyes move up from the screen and towards the men surrounding you. They are all frozen, tense, waiting for you to slip up. There is silence.

“Well, he moved a while ago… Why did he come back?” There is a pause. “Did he hurt you?”

“Val,” Your voice is low and level, but definitely able to break at any second. “I do not want to think about John on my vacation. I’m trying to relax.” Really, you are, it’s incredibly hard though.

“Okay… If you’re okay, I’m just going to forget about what happened earlier. Please, be safe this week. If something happened to John… Just be safe. Oh! Before you go!” She sounds happier now, thinking you’re safe. “Are you really out of breath because of that man from earlier?” You feel your face burning as she asks. You can practically see her brows wiggling as she asks that. “I do think it was time for you to move on! I hope this helps your-”

“I have to go! Bye, love you!” You hang up. Your eyes are wide and your face is hot. You let out a nervous laugh and hope they did not even notice Val’s question.

They did.

“Helps y-your what?”

“None of your business!” You shout. You hold the phone in your hand, waiting for them to ask for it back. You are not giving it up unless they ask. “Sorry, she’s overbearing.” You roll your eyes, “She’s nosy, always has been.” Your stomach growls. “Can I please get some food? I’ll buy it, you can blindfold me, I don’t care. I haven’t eaten since before-” Since before John died. Or was murdered… By you.

“You’re gonna buy it?” Brian asks.

“Yeah! Hold on!” You walk off, phone still in hand, causing the three to follow you. You walk towards the couch, where you laid your bag (and dirty clothes), and rummage through your stuff. You pull out a wallet. “You’re lucky I have this. I’m sure if my ID were found somewhere we’d be fucked.”

‘We’. Not just them. ‘We’.

“I have money, I’ll buy my food. I can even go shopping if you want?” You cock your head. “Not now of course.” You motion to yourself. “But eventually.”

“We don’t usually stay in one place for too long, it may be useless grocery shopping.” Tim informs you.

Your mouth forms an ‘o’.

“I’ll take you to get food.” Brian states it, it isn't an offer. You feel awkward suddenly. You aren’t very comfortable around any of them, but at least Tim you know most (which still isn’t a lot). Toby picked twigs out of your hair. Brian has not done much for you, or with you. “I’ll be outside waiting.”

You nod, swallowing hard. You remember your dirty clothes and ask Toby about them, before heading out. He points towards the laundry room and you take them back quickly. You promise you’ll wash them when you get back. You slide some sweatpants and a jacket on and then your crocs. Your feet don’t feel as bad anymore, but you are still sore. You can mostly only think about your hunger though.

You walk outside and immediately cold air hits you. Brian is waiting beside the car, blindfold in hand. You make your way towards him and take in a shaky breath. As soon as you reach him, you turn around and let him put the blindfold on you. He helps you inside the car, and then he gets in. You struggle briefly to buckle. His hand touches yours and you tense. He helps you with the seatbelt.

“Thanks,” You mumble and look ahead (you hope you are looking ahead). “Would hate to get pulled over while being unbuckled.”

“I think that is the least of our worries.” You can feel Brian’s eyes on you. He starts the car, and you shift. “What did you want?”

“Oh,” You place your hands on your thighs, “I'm not that picky. Just some chicken nuggets and some fries would be fine.”

Brian nods, but you don’t see it. You hope he takes you to get food. And isn’t taking you somewhere to kill you. But then again, maybe that wouldn’t be too bad considering your situation.

_-_-_-_-_-_

Brian is sitting across from you. You are at McDonald’s, eating your chicken nuggets. You can feel your mood shifting as you eat. Your hunger is disappearing. You don’t feel so irritated. Brian watches you eat. He isn’t saying much of anything, and all you can feel is his eyes staring directly at you. It’s getting hard to ignore.

“Is everything okay?” You ask him, looking up. You wipe your mouth, “Is something on my face?”

He sucks in air and shifts in his seat. He shakes his head, “No, no, nothing on your face.” As he says that, you cock your head as if asking ‘then what?’ and he hesitates. He is thinking. “You don’t question much of anything… Do you?”

You let out a short laugh and take a sip of your coke. “Brian, I’ve never not been in control. I don’t know if you gathered that… But- I just-” You bite the inside of your bottom lip. “This doesn’t feel real…”

“I assure you,” He stares at you, suddenly seeming… gone, “it is real.”

You nod. You do not verbally respond. Quickly, you finish eating. Once you stand up to throw your food away, Brian stands too. He follows close behind you. As you throw your food away you hear footsteps approaching fast. Your name is the next thing you hear. Brian places a hand on your hip immediately. You turn around and spot Val. You want to bring your palm to your forehead. You cringe.

“Val!” You shoot Brian a look, trying to get him to release you, before looking back at Val. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m getting food…” Her voice trails off. Her bright green eyes look up at Brian and she starts to open her mouth. She pauses. “Who is this…?” She obviously knows it is not the man you had at your apartment.

“My friend.” You smile at her.

“How many ‘friends’ do you have?”

“Three.” You blurt it out, without thinking. Brian’s grip only tightens. You try to hold back an awkward laugh.

“My love,” Val’s lips purse, “what the fuck?” She whispers. “This is not like you… at all. Are you sure you’re okay?”

You nod, smiling at her. “Yes, positive!” Brian’s hand gives you a gentle squeeze, telling you ‘good job’. Your knees grow weak. “But, I do have to go soon-”

“Wait!” She puts a hand up, “Promise me, if something goes sideways, you’ll get help?”

Your face contorts. “Sideways?” You are reeling. “What are you on about? Look,” You grab her hand, “Val, I am okay. Everything is okay. I’ll talk to you again soon. But, I’m-”

“Getting over some past stuff with John?” As soon as she says it, your face twists again. “Y’know? He was so… Odd. I mean, I would go throw myself on some men too, if he was who I had been stuck with for God knows how long!”

Brian’s hand, still resting on your hip, threatens to move. You quickly place your hand over his, keeping him there. “See! Now you’re getting it!” You try to reassure her. “I’ll try to stay in touch, but just know… I love you.”

Val lets you know she loves you too and heads back to her table. You and Brian head back out to the car and you sit down in the passenger seat. You look ahead. Lying is really taking it out of you.

“Thanks for doing that for me… taking me to get food.” You rub up and down your thighs. Brian nods and starts the car. You just want to sleep. You feel like that isn’t happening anytime soon.

_-_-_-_-_-_

You are right.

It’s you and Toby alone at the cabin. You really wanted to nap, but now Toby won’t leave you alone. You are facing the ceiling, lying on the couch. Your breathing is slow and your eyes are shut. All you can hear is Toby talking, it’s almost lulling you to sleep. Almost.

“Fucking bitch!”

His voice rings through the cabin. You have never sat up so fast in your life. Your legs swing over the couch and you narrow your eyes at Toby. He continues talking.

“Whoa, whoa-” You put a hand up. “What did you call me?”

Toby stops. “Oh, that was- I-I have tourettes.” He says it like you should already know. “Any-Anyway, like I w-was saying, we need to- to make sure you are capable of pro-protecting yourself.”

Your fists ball up, and immediately unclench. “Toby, did you forget I could, I don't know, mind control people?” You cock a brow at him. “I don’t need to be able to get away. But, I think I could still get away. Without my ability. I got away from you, Brian, and Tim earlier.” Toby stands up from the end of the couch. He walks off. “Okay, whatever…” You lean back and close your eyes again.

Something clicks. You furrow your brows and when footsteps reach the door, and you hear it lock, you sit up and your eyes pop open. Toby stands a few feet from you, a hatchet in each hand. You are sure your eyes are going to pop out of your head. You scoot over on the couch and your jaw drops.

“Toby… What are you-”

“Run, fuh-fight, or hide.” It’s all he gives you.

You leap up from the couch and take off towards somewhere. You have no clue where anything is. You know the kitchen and living room. That is it. You make your way into the kitchen and slam into the back door. It’s locked. You have absolutely no time to unlock it. A hatchet slams beside your head and a scream rips from your throat. You beg for him to stop.

He does not.

You rip away from him, and sprint down the short hallway. You slam into one of the rooms and head for the window. It will not budge. Tears fill your eyes. You are begging and screaming for him to stop.

“Fucking co-coward!”

“Toby!” You scream as you fall back. His eyes lock with yours. He does not look away. You inhale sharply. You cannot fuck this up. “Stop.”

Toby freezes.

“Drop your hatchets.”

He listens again. Your head begins to hurt.

“Do not fucking move.”

You feel it before it happens. Your nose is about to bleed. You tear out of the room faster than you had ever moved before. You head to the front door. You unlock it and swing it open. You step onto the front porch, your feet hit the cold wood and you hiss. Something is coming from the woods. Your heart is pounding into your ribcage.

You make out Tim’s jacket before anything. You rush towards him. When you notice his mask, you pretend that it’s normal. That’s how you first met them, it’s not hard to connect the dots. He was out ‘working’. He is slightly bloody, but definitely looks more welcoming than Toby.

“Tim!” You scream, nose gushing blood at this point. “Tim, it’s Toby!” You reach him and grab his arms. “Help me!” Your voice is breaking. “Please-”

Tim reaches for you, his hands grab your waist. He cocks his head at you and your eyes meet his. There is something different about him. That’s not Tim. You really think you are going to faint. His grip on you tightens and you feel his fingertips digging into your skin through your shirt. You struggle to get out of his grasp.

“Toby!” You are yelling for him again. You release him from your mental grasp and rush towards the house. ‘Not Tim’ is hot on your trail. The front door almost swings off of its hinges and Toby stomps onto the front porch. “Please, you have to stop! Something has happened to Tim!” You point behind you.

Toby easily jumps off the porch and begins to stalk towards you. You can’t breathe. Tears start coming. You are sure Toby is going to kill you. You stumble back and rush away from both of the men. You are sobbing. Something slams into your back and you hit the ground. You land beside a stump. A knee is in your back, your cheek against the cold, hard dirt. Your nails are digging into the dead grass.

“L-look at you.” Toby clicks his tongue. “So- So pathetic.” You look at him the best you can, but you can’t see him. Not fully. “Can’t do-do much without your po-power, huh?” Tears cover your face, falling from your cheeks onto the dirt.

You see, out of the corner of your eye, his hatchet raising. You scream. You have never screamed so much in your life. He brings it down. Another loud plea rips from your chest. The hatchet hits the stump.

You want to sigh. You let out a strangled sob and you can’t breathe. You are sucking in dirt as you try to catch your breath. The knee suddenly moves off your back and you are grabbed. You are flipped over and your back hits the ground this time. Toby is leaning over you. He is inches from your face.

“Please!” You scream, “I’m-” You can’t think. “I’m sorry!”

Toby tenses. “We-weak.” He mumbles. You try to cover your face. Your hands are stopped by Toby’s knees. He is restraining you. “Fucking weak.”

“Toby!” You hear Tim. “Get off of her!” He is running towards you. You are uncontrollably sobbing. Toby doesn’t protest. He grabs his hatchets and leaves you. He walks off into the woods and you look at Tim. “Are you-” You shake your head. When he reaches for you, you scoot away. Tim freezes, his eyes widening. “What did I-”

You get up. You run straight back into the cabin. Tim does not chase you. You hide in the bathroom. You close and lock the door. You sit on the floor, back to the door and you cry. You look at your phone and cry. You know you can’t really explain what happened to anyone, so you just sit and cry.

Once you finally catch your breath and can think somewhat straight, you figure it’s best to sleep in the bathroom tonight. If your mind lets you sleep at all…

[delirious-donna]

Tales From The Housekeeper [Extra Drabble]

story summary: Your best friend lets you crash at her place over the spring break since you have nowhere else to go. Little did you know that it isn't actually her place. Instead, it belongs to a tall (grumpy) hot guy who finds you in his apartment–her brother.

an: despite never being seen, the developing relationship between you and Kento has been witnessed up close. Mrs McGarden has been Nanami's cleaner for many years and she knows in her heart what is happening within the walls of the apartment... a little diary that I thought was a fun idea.

warning: none, SFW, fluff and humour

Series Masterlist

𝓜𝓻𝓼 𝓜𝓬𝓖𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓷’𝓼 𝓒𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓛𝓸𝓰

𝓒𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓝𝓪𝓶𝓮: Nanami Kento 

𝓟𝓻𝓲𝓸𝓻𝓲𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓼: general tidying, kitchen deep cleaned once a week and trash to be removed, vacuum and mop every other day, windows on a Friday, ad hoc jobs as and when 

𝓒𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓝𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼: very polite, young professional man, values his privacy, has a younger sister who has been known to visit unexpectedly (she has her own key for the door, keycard for the elevator and the passcodes), sister aside it is unusual for others to be visiting. Enjoys homemade bread and good coffee (reminder to bring by baked goods every now and then – especially banana bread and caramel pecan muffins) 

𝓢𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓼: steer clear of anything overly floral, prefers subtle scents that evoke a sense of cleanliness, use Tom Ford Ébène Fumé reed diffuser in the master bedroom 

𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓪𝔂

No incidents to report. Apartment was empty on entry. Kitchen deep cleaned, skirting boards and cupboard doors included. Trash emptied. Took receipt of laundered items – left on master bed as requested. Replaced diffusers in living room and both bathrooms. 

𝓣𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂

Strange phone call from Miss Nanami, client’s younger sister. I… I don’t know how to feel about it all. Over the years of my employment, I have grown very fond of Mr Nanami and whilst I do not see him most of the times I am here, on the occasions we do cross paths, he is always courteous and easy to converse with. That being said, I am not sure if I wish to be a part of the scheme she has proposed. I will have to think on it this evening, perhaps I will run it past Mr McGarden to see what he thinks of it all… 

Oh, before I forget. No other incidents to report. Linens from the beds stripped and remade with new sheets. All floors hoovered or mopped as planned. Plants watered. 

𝓦𝓮𝓭𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂

I don’t know if my conscious will hold out, but I have decided that I could not ignore the plight of Miss Karin’s friend. What kind of woman would I be if I were not to allow a young woman a safe place to stay? I’ll be honest, Miss Karin was extremely persuasive… she would make an excellent lawyer. All I have to do is act oblivious if asked, which should not be a problem given the upcoming business trip. It might be nice to have a feminine presence in the apartment, and I can remove all trace of her before Mr Nanami returns, of that I am certain. 

One broken coffee mug (I expect my clumsiness was a result of my slightly frayed nerves) and I have left a note with the promise of replacing it. Couch cushions fluffed, blankets refolded and the ceiling fan and other hard to reach areas dusted. Counters sprayed down with disinfectant. List made for tomorrow – operation deep clean. 

𝓣𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂

If I listed everything here it would take me an age. Suffice it to say the apartment is spotless, and I have left a Tupperware box of fruit scones for Mr Nanami to take away with him on his trip (my guilty conscious acting again and Mr McGarden was rather upset that there were no leftovers for him). Funny that I didn’t see his luggage out of the closet yet, perhaps he is packing last minute. I am both nervous and excited. I feel like a co-conspirator of some awful heist! 

𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂

I am a nervous wreck… I barely slept last night and found myself starting work far earlier than normal simply because I couldn’t relax. All last-minute details straightened out. Mr Nanami had left for work or the airport by the time I arrived. Unusually there were some leftovers from the previous evening left out – a crystal tumbler with a hint of whisky in the bottom and a bowl with the stems of grapes. It’s not like him to not pick up after himself but maybe he was in a rush. I left as quickly as I could, not wishing to startle the poor girl who would be staying in the apartment. This is going to be fine, right? Oh, dear lord, what have I let myself in for… 

𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓪𝔂

If I avoid being fired it will be a miracle. From what I’ve heard there was a mix-up and now Mr Nanami knows of his sister’s scheme and apparently, she might have thrown me under the bus too. I will be having words with her as soon as she deems to answer my calls, the little madam. I caught the barest glimpse of the guest this morning as she was heading into her room, she smiled and I got the sense that despite the confusion, she is happy to be here. 

Mr Nanami, on the other hand, had less to say to me than I thought. He asked if I had known about Miss Karin’s plan and I couldn’t play dumb, not under his gaze. The man can be intimidating without really trying and I hope to goodness he hasn’t scared the poor woman. Rather than react with anger, he simply tightened his jaw and gave a firm nod. There is something different about him, I’m not sure what makes me say that, call it woman’s intuition. I am on reduced hours until his guest leaves and I can only hope he doesn’t reconsider my offer of resignation. I really would miss him as a client. 

𝓣𝓱𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂 

There is something brewing here, I can feel it. What I claimed as woman’s intuition is now so much more. Mr Nanami is more relaxed than I have ever seen him, and he wears it well. It is nice to see him looking less tired, his eyes are brighter, and I would swear he smiles more frequently. His companion is doing wonders for his mood and no wonder, she is such a lovely young thing. Very intelligent, witty, and most importantly, she doesn’t let anyone walk over her. We have chatted once or twice but only for a minute. I like her, and I don’t believe I am alone in that sentiment. 

I keep forgetting to detail my tasks, I would forget my head if it weren’t screwed on as Mr McGarden likes to remind me. Linens changed. Laundry ordered for collection on Monday morning. Floors cleaned. Mug replaced from last week. Plants watered and pruned. 

𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓪𝔂

Oh, my days. I don’t know what to think. The atmosphere continues to change every time I visit. Today it seems the two of them have ventured to the National Museum together. Would one consider that a date? Maybe I am reading into things too much. Too many Mills and Boon novels in my nightstand. He deserves happiness. Money can only afford so much. I’ve worked for Mr Nanami long enough to want to see him settle and be happy. I dare not get my hopes up but it’s impossible when I witness these furtive little glances between them. It’s also rather funny how they seem to fall silent whenever I am within earshot. It reminds me of my courting days… 

Living area straightened, a dog-eared book found down the side of the couch cushions, and I doubt it belongs to Mr Nanami. His bookshelves are stuffed full, but each book is in pristine, unread condition. The man simply does not have time for reading. Maybe they will change. Floors cleaned. I can’t help but notice that the apartment feels far more lived in than it ever has. Diffuser changed in the master bedroom. 

𝓦𝓮𝓭𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓭𝓪𝔂

She left. I don’t know what else to say. The apartment is a mess, well, as messy as I’ve ever seen it. Decorative ribbon on the living room floor, a half empty bottle of whisky on the kitchen island, two mugs unused but set out… Mr Nanami refuses to speak to me, refuses to even meet my eye. I’d take it for anger if I didn’t know better. There is guilt in his gaze. Whatever happened yesterday, he won’t be drawn on the matter. I’ve thought to call Miss Karin but is it my place? Never have I seen the man so dishevelled and utterly miserable. I suspect he hasn’t bathed as I can smell the lingering alcohol when he slouches past. I don’t like this. I should have never meddled in his affairs. Just when I thought he might have found someone to brighten his days… oh, it’s such a mess. 

Kitchen disinfected, dishwasher emptied and reloaded. Living area tidied except for the ribbon which I dare not touch. Bedrooms… the guest room is barren and sad. Mr Nanami prevented me from stripping the linens, in fact, he practically shooed me from the room. Bathrooms cleaned. There is a lump in my throat as I write this. I wish I had never been a part of any of this, not when it has seemingly ended so disastrously. What shall I do? I suppose that nothing would be the best answer, it is not my business to meddle in. 

𝓕𝓻𝓲𝓭𝓪𝔂

No one was home. I worry that Mr Nanami is not eating, there is very little trash and no leftovers in the fridge. I couldn’t help but peek inside the bedroom next to his and I found it exactly as it had been the last time I was here. The sheets are made but the ruffles show the clear form of a body huddled atop the bed. I’m not sure if it’s from the poor girl or if Mr Nanami has taken to sleeping in here. A sadness remains and I’ve taken to completing my tasks as quickly as possible to escape the gloom. If things have not improved over the weekend… perhaps I can offer a friendly ear? I doubt he would accept the offer, but I can’t continue on like this and feeling partly responsible. 

Windows washed. Floors cleaned. Empty liquor bottles taken out for recycling… he never normally drinks this heavily.  

𝓜𝓸𝓷𝓭𝓪𝔂

I was running late today, and of all the days to fall behind. It must be serendipitous! The key was barely in the lock when my phone rang from the depths of my bag. Lo and behold… Miss Karin had finally returned my calls. I was halfway through giving her a mouthful when she cut me off with seven words that I will remember for years to come.  

He left work to go find her. 

I’m in shock. Never have I known Mr Nanami to leave work before the day was done. In fact, he often worked far later than he needed to just to stay ahead of the competition. There was something in Miss Karin’s voice, I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but she knows more than she was letting on. I could have cried on the spot. 

Linens changed although I have again left the guest bedroom. Kitchen deep cleaned. Plants watered and pruned. Dusting done. I took the liberty of baking some bread whilst I was here. The sun was long down by the time I left. I guess I lingered in the hopes of maybe seeing them both, but it wasn’t to be. There is hope in my heart once more and I will nurture it. Mr McGarden picked me up this evening and listened to me on the drive home. He told me about a saying from the country he was born and raised in… ‘whits fur ye’ll no go by ye’, which means what is for you will not go by you and I believe that in my heart. 

There will be a happy ending, or I will eat my hat! 

[vulpixisananimal]

(You breathe in, and out.)

(You let the pitter pater of rain fade into the background. The rustle of the trees, the wind through the branches, all fading away. All untill, you hear it. An ocean. The steady sound of waves coming in, and out. It sounds like your breathing, or your breathing sounds like the ocean.)

(You're leaning against the Favor Tree. Not the one that shaded your body, no, the one that made it's home in your mind. The sky was lightless and beautiful, with stars dotting the night. Looking down, you could see the beach, the black sand beach with water crashing against the shores, and seagrass sprouting from the dunes. A few paces away from where you stood, was a staircase that lead down to the shore. And to your side was a ladder leading up the tree.)

(Well? You don't have all day. Come out.)

(You knew there where others here, maybe they were just too tired. Maybe if you did something they'd show up to stop you. Loop, maybe. Maybe if-)

(What do you want.)

(Finally. Loop the star, the sponsor, the stagehand. They jumped from the top of the tree to join you at it's base. What a pleasure it is to finally meet you.)

(Don't lie to me, Null, trying to lie in our own head is just insulting!)

(You're right, it's not a pleasure. But it was about time we finally met properly.)

(Loop looked angry and took a step towards you. You stupid little THING. You KNOW you've been avoiding me because of that absolute IDIOCY you put our body through!!)

(You won.)

(BUT AT WHAT COST!!! We had a heart attack! We were bedridden for a week!! Stars, are you an IDIOT?!?)

(You got things done. We got out of Jouvente alive.)

(NO THANKS TO YOU!!!)

(What's going on? A new voice. You look, it was the host themselves finally gracing you with their presence. They were climbing the stairs up to the favor tree.)

(Good to meet you, Siffrin.)

(. . . Null, right? He came towards you and Loop. What's with the yelling.)

(You were trying to get through to this idiot just how DANGEROUS messing with time IS!!)

(You knew what you were doing, Star. You huff. Perhaps if you-)

(PERHAPS WHAT!!! I'll Kill you!! That's what!!)

(Loop, please-)

(Then try it, star. I'll kill you right back. You reach for your knife, you knew it was there.)

(FINE THEN!! You lunge at Null, ready to kill.)

(You try and stop Loop and Null fighting.)

(Loop grabs you, you fight back, stupid star!)

(You feel dizzy.)

(S-stop fighting!)

(I'll kill you! I'll kill you so we don't have to suffer!!)

(You feel your body getting sick.)

(You'll have to try, Star. I'll kill you right back-)

(Stop.)

(You feel a bang on your head.)

(You feel a bang on your head.)

(You watch as Mal Du Pays strikes Null and Loop, getting them to stop.)

(You're both causing us more harm than good. I could feel it from my room.)

(Your head hurts. Stars, it was a migraine. All the fighting in your head was, was just too much.)

(Just breathe, Siffrin, breathe. . .)

(Breathe.)

(Breathe in. . .)

(. . .)

<And out. . ..>

{Do you feel better?}

(Yeah, yeah, better. Still headache, but, better.)

<I am sorry for causing a scene.>

[Causing a scene? You've given us a massive blinding headache!!]

{Stop. Find yourself. Say who you are. Then continue.}

<Okay. . .>

(. . . You're Siffrin, okay. You can see yourself standing at the staircase.)

[You're Loop. You're leaning against the tree glairing at Null.]

{You are Mal Du Pays. You are standing. Making sure they do not fight.}

<You are Null. You are glaring back at Loop.>

{Hmm. That worked.}

<What did you do, shadow?>

{None of you pay attention, do you? It was a grounding technique Odile had taught us you all were stupid enought to ignore.}

[Oh how kind of you, Mal~ To give us this fine, FINE gift!]

(Loop, is there something going on? You walk over to the favor tree and sit at it.)

[Yes! Yes there is!]

<It's me. The Star doesn't like me. We're too alike, naturally.>

[I'll kill you I swear~]

{Stop.}

(You sigh. Listen, Loop, you get it. It's, it's rough. You still remember that night, that heart attack. You really, really don't want to deal with that again.)

[Stardust, respectfully, you are a naive idiot~]

{You agree. You trust too easily.}

(What do you mean! Null's a part of our mind too!!)

{And he's reckless.}

<Again, I got the job done.>

{You did. I commend you. However you put our body in danger beyond what is reasonable.}

<I did better than you, you got hit, didn't you?>

{You are aware of your own faults.}

[Getting along well, it seems~]

(You sigh. Ok, you get it. Maybe Null shouldn't be trusted with full body controll, but they still deserve a chance.)

<And what about Ramos?>

(You look away.)

{Ramos will betray you. Ramos will ruin our life.}

<They are a strong fighter, what makes you think they are now an ally?>

[And you trust them, just like that!?! Really, Stardust, that's just silly~]

(You know.)

(You know, ok! You know you shouldn't trust Ramos!! But what were you supposed to do, not give them a chance?!? Look at what we did!! What we said to our family!!)

<That's different.>

(HOW is that different!! What we did was worse!!! We nearly ended the world and all Ramos did was change a few blinding memories!!)

{We only have so many memories left.}

(Do you think about ANYONE but ourself!?! That's Isabeaus friend! They have regrets!! We should give them a CHANCE!!!)

[. . .]

<. . .>

{. . .}

(What, do you think we shouldn't have been given a chance?)

{. . . No. Where I in your familys position, no.}

<We're stuck like this untill we die, now. That's what we wanted, right? What you wanted?>

[. . .]

(. . . Anything to add, Loop?)

[. . . You got your happy ending. So what.]

(. . .)

[No, I'm not going to tell them. None of us are.]

<Afraid of being rejected?>

[Of course not!]

<Afraid of being accepted, then. Pathetic, hiding behind a star because you fear that which could give you happyness. Maybe you don't want it anyway.>

[SHUT! UP!!!]

(Stooooooop your head already hurts enough. Please.)

{You feel a hand on your bodys shoulder.}

{Quick as lightning you slash with your dagger and bolt into awareness. It's raining, your dagger nips the hand that grabbed you, you look up-}

{Oh. Mirabelle, and. . . Ramos.}

{Mirabelle was holding the gash in her hand. It wasn't deep, and started healing it.} "A-ah- o-ow- I-I'm so sorry I'm sorry I, I was trying to, t-to wake you up and you weren't responding s-so-"

[WHAT DID YOU DO!?!?]

{You was surprised, so you acted accordingly.}

[YOU HURT OUR HOUSEMAIDEN?!? YOU ATTACKED HER?!?]

{Quiet, Ramos was walking up to you both. They looked nervously at you.} "A-are, are you alright? Mira?"

"I-I am, it, i-it just stings a little bit! I-I'm sorry Siffrin."

{You have your bored expression on. You rub a fist on your chest. "Sorry." It's what you were supposed to say.}

"I-It's fine. Uh, M-mal?" {You nod, you notice Ramos shuffle back a little bit.} "O-okay, okay. I'm really really sorry b-but, but something happened!! A-and, and we had to, h-had to make sure you were o-okay and, a-and-"

{You stand up, Mirabelle wouldn't have risked waking you if it was something simple. She's hyperventilating.}

[Do the brething thing with her, that'll help.]

{Ugh, fine. You nudge her to get her attention, she jumps and is about to stutter out something, but you hold up a hand to stop her. And you pat your chest with both hands. "Breathe with me."}

{You breathe in. . .}

[. . . And out.]

[You smile at- oh! Hmm! You were in control now! Well, might as well take advantage of it.] "Feel better, Mirabelle~?"

"Y-yeah, yeah I'm better- o-oh!" [She looks up at you, surprised.]

[You playfully bow.] "Lovely Loop at your service~"

[She giggles at that.] "I-is, is it that easy to switch? Between you all?"

"Oh not at all!" [You say jokily.] "I suppose the breathing did the trick though. Now, how can I help you today, Housemaiden~"

"R-right." [She had her serious face on.] "T-there's, there's a serious situation! I-it's Isabeau, he, h-he-." [She looks over at Ramos.]

[Ramos must have realized what she wanted them to say, and looked away from you.] ". . . . It's mind craft, again. Isabeaus being effected by it."

[moomoog017]

headcanons ᯓᡣ𐭩 admire

Tech x gn!reader

Synopsis: tech often gets ignored because of his constant chatter but you sit down and listen.

Genre: FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF. One itty bitty pinch of angst

Word Count: 791

Warnings: none

A/N: just thought it'd be cute and wholesome. Can be read as platonic or romantic. :))

“Good morning Tech.” You announced, your voice running like honey. There was a grogginess to your words. Tech and you always woke up first, it had just become routine after the few weeks you'd been with the Batch. “Good morning y/n.” Tech replied, his eyes glued to the new project he was working on. His back hunched over in the chair. Curious, you make your way over to his side with a drink in your hands. “What are you workin’ on?" Tech moves his face a little closer to his project, “I’m working on a portable communication device; also known as a ‘com link.’”

“Can I look at it?” You spoke softly and genuinely interested. Your words hit Tech’s ears and he stopped. "Uhm sure, just don't touch it.” He swivels out of the way letting you come closer to investigate the item. He pushes his goggles up intensely watching you interact with his project.

“This is super cool!” You moved your face closer to look at all the intricate mechanisms of the device. Tech's eyebrows relaxed feeling a sense of pride in his work. "Thank you y/n.” No one ever really payed attention or listened to whatever it was he was making. He was slightly confused on why you were so interested. He analysed you and your actions, deciding to speak his hypothesis.

“Are you perhaps looking to create something similar?” You looked over at him, “oh kriff no, I don't have the talent you do Tech.” Your response baffled him even more so, “well thank you but then why the indulgment in my project?” Your eyes softened, “I just think it’s really cool.” Tech’s face was stagnant so you elaborated, “I appreciate the small details and knowledge it takes in order to basically build something mechanical from scratch. I admire it.”

He finally understood, “ah I see now, your lack of knowledge on basic mechanical systems fascinates you that’s why you're admiring mine.” Ouch you thought, but he wasn't wrong. You sigh, “I tried to word it a bit more poetically, but yeah.” You looked back at the device, Tech stayed silent he was debating something in his mind.

“Apologies if that was a bit harsh, I was just confused as to why you would be interested other than for your own benefits. I’m not used to…people being interested in what I’m doing or saying…” It was a heartfelt apology, you knew his brothers got bored of what he was saying, not out of malicious intentions they just weren't invested. Your face saddened at the device, “I forgive you Tech, I know you weren't trying to be mean.”

He released a heavy sigh of relief and spoke, “If you want to learn more about my technology and mechanics I could teach you.” Your eyes shifted, “sure.” You smiled knowing it would make both of you happy. Tech fixed his goggles and came closer to you and the device. “Well when’s my first lesson?” Tech grabs a tool, “right now.” You smiled softly, “so first it is undeniably important that—” His words drifted through the air as you absorbed them, taking in all the information and asking questions.

Time seemed to fly by that morning and you two were completely indulged in his creations. While listening you couldn't help but think how good it must feel to talk to someone who wants to listen to you. It only made you more eager to ask questions, and made you feel good. With your attention completely captured you didn't see the other men huddled together gossiping about it.

“Looks like they're getting along.” Hunter’s lips threatened a smile, seeing his brother happy. “I’m hungry!” Wrecker groaned in a whisper. “Let Tech have this a little longer, even I can only take so much ‘Tech talk.’” Echo rubbed his temple recalling all the moments where he had been close to drifting off to sleep while Tech lectured him about mechanics. Crosshair said nothing, only his typical scowl and toothpick in his mouth. He watched you two interact and he was totally going to tease you for it later.

A loud rumble was heard and it had disrupted Tech and your attention. It was Wreckers stomach growling, he sheepishly smiled. “Sorry.” You chuckled. “We’ll continue this lesson later y/n,” Tech spoke and got up placing his device in a safe space. “We're you guys just waiting?” You raised a brow. “You looked like you were having fun.” Hunter smiled.

“And Tech most of all.” Crosshair finally spoke pointing his toothpick at you. Tech heard this and a the edge of his lips lifted ever so slightly. Your ears heated up, you grinned. “Stow it Crosshair,” Echo hissed. You just chuckled enjoying the mens antics.

[citruswriter]

Hey so how do you think bayverse leo would deal with having a s/o where they tend to get asked out by human’s a lot and s/o says no confidently every time and usually the human’s leave s/o alone nicely. Also flip side whenever s/o is talking about Leo casually, s/o is like gushing over how awesome their boyfriend is. And also how They don’t really meet any human men who act like him. His personality is extremely rare. S/o has a type and it’s not common. Maybe their standards are too high but they got lucky to find Leo?

High Standards

Leonardo x Reader 🧡

Listen in with me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

Warnings: They/them pronouns, fluff, not proofread.

A/N: Ur literally so real for this. I think Leo definitely has a more rare personality.

"Dammit I forgot my lunch..." Your coworker muttered as she dug through her bag. Looking over you offered up one of your sandwiches. "You can have my other sand which if you want. Leo made them for me." You said and your coworker gave you a look of gratitude before grabbing the sandwhich and digging in. "Holy shit. This is actually so good, what the fuck?" She said, looking up at you and you giggled, sipping your drink. "Oh yeah. Leo's a wonderful chef. He's always trying new recipes with Mikey. It's super cute. His food is always so good, I can never get enough of it". You beamed, taking another bite. "You always talk about that man, swear to god. You two need to get married already". She said with a roll of her eyes but she smiled none the less. You giggled again, face heating up. "Oh please, trust me. I'd marry that man in a heartbeat if he asked me. He's definitely one of a kind. I don't meet many other individuals with his personality." You said casually, finishing your lunch and shrugging your shoulders. "I know. You constantly turn down anybody pining after you. Your standards are so damn high". She muttered.

"Well I deserve nothing but the best and Leo does exactly that. I'm so lucky to have him". You cooed with a lovesick smile. The door rang as a customer walked in. "Hello! What can I get for you today?". You asked before taking the man's order. He rattled off the ingredients for his coffee and you cashed him out as your coworker began to make it. "Say uh, whats your name?" He asked and you looked up. "(Y/N). Why?" You asked, tone suspicious. "Just wanted to know the name of the individual I was gonna take to dinner tonight." He said with a wink. You couldn't help but laugh, mouth behind your face. "Oh you're cute. No". You said gently but firmly. The man blinked at you, surprised. "Why not?" He asked and you grinned. "I'm taken by a wonderful young man". You said, giggling as you fiddled with the necklace that always hung around your neck, a golden chain with a brilliant blue sapphire. "Bet I could treat you better..." The man purred, leaning in.

"Highly doubt you could," your coworkers voice came as she slammed the hot coffee in front of the man, startling him. "They got standards so high you'd need professional climbing gear to scale them". She said, looking at you with a grin and the two of you giggled. The man rolled his eyes in anger before snatching his coffee up and sulking off and out of the store. "Seriously babes, I know you said Leo was a rather private man but I've got to meet this dude one day". She said with a quirked eyebrow and you hummed. "I'll talk to him about it."

━━━━━━♡♥♡━━━━━━

You were greeted with a chorus of noises as you entered the lair. Mikey had taken Raph's sai and was now being chased while Donnie attempted to scold them. April and Master Splinter were quietly speaking over tea and Leo... Wait where's Leo? You thought. You glanced around for him before creeping to his room. "Baby?" You said softly before opening the door. You slunk inside, closing the door behind you. Leo was on his bed, book in hand and under a blanket. "Seems like your brothers are at it again". You mused, smiling softly as you approached him. "They always are." He sighed, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close to him, head resting on your stomach. "Got your coffee," you murmured and Leo eyes the cup before gently grabbing it and happily taking a sip. "Good as always, blossom". He muttered before dragging you down into bed with him, you kicking your shoes off as he did.

"My coworker wants to meet you". You said and you chuckled when he groaned. "This is the eighth time she's asked". He grumbled, burying his snout into your neck. You laughed and kissed his head. "Yeah she had to come to my rescue after some guy asked for my number, teasing my high standards." You said, nails drawing patterns on his shell. Leo sighed and looked back up at you. "Do you ever wish I was human?" He asked suddenly and you raised your eyebrows in surprise and curiosity. "Not really. I don't really care if you're a mutant or a human". You answered and Leo grumbled, setting his coffee down before burrowing himself into you. "Why do you wish to know, beloved?" You asked, gently picking at the knot in his mask to pull it off. He let you, relaxing into your touch as you rubbed his neck and shoulders. "I don't know... So many humans seem to fawn over you. Sometimes I wonder what you see in me". He confessed.

"Leonardo I fell in love with you because you treat me well. Because you're kind-hearted and a gentleman. Because you love with your whole heart and do your best to protect those you love". You said, thumb brushing against his cheek bones. "Leonardo you're everything I want and more." Leo placed his hands down to lift himself, hovering over you and staring into your eyes. "I love you so much," he whispered before kissing you gently. You hummed and kissed him back, hand moving to cup his face. "I love you too, darling".

A crash was heard from the living room along with the sounds of Raph's shouting and Mikey's feral giggle. "You should probably go deal with them." You mused, Leo groaning as he begrudgingly pulled himself out of bed. "You're probably right." He replied and you drug yourself up to go follow him. You couldn't help but watch in amusement as Leo mothered his younger siblings. At some point Leo came back, grumbling about how they were such children. "You'd make a good dad, you know". You murmured, splaying your hands on his plastron. Leo looked at you in shock and you looked away, flustered but Leo just grabbed your face and kissed you. "I think you'd be a good parent too". He said softly and the two of you just stood there looking at each other with utter adoration.

[egophiliac]

Have you heard of the "Crowley is Malleus' dad" theory going around? Where Prince Levan (or whatever his name is) didn't actually die and just went out to get some milk and is now known as Dire Crowley, the silly man? The implications of that theory is absolutely hilarious when you think about it

hold on, we can figure this out, we just need LISTS

PROS THAT CROWLEY IS SECRETLY REVAAN/LEVAN/LAVERNE/WHATEVER:

unspecified fae of some kind, with similar coloring to Mal

the animal masks are apparently a Briar Valley thing

has some kind of big blackmailable secret that was alluded to in episode 4, and then as far as I know never brought up again

(unless this was just Azul bullshitting, which is extremely possible)

based on Diablo, which...maybe means something?

has canonically worn Dad Shorts

CONS:

(gestures to Crowley's entire personality)

NO LISTEN Revaan was the guy they sent off on diplomatic missions and to take care of delicate political situations, and...look, I love this dweeb, but would you trust Crowley to be in charge of negotiating your war treaties

despite my brain insisting on reading his name as "Raven", Revaan's title does imply that he was also a dragon (or super into longan berries, I'm not ruling that out)

currently unclear why Lilia "my closest friend Revaan...he is no longer with us...I used to make fun of him for being kind of a priss about eating jerky..." Vanrouge has somehow not noticed or said anything

Malleus' Aloof Anime ~Aristocrat~ vibe had to come from somewhere, and by all accounts it was NOT his mom's side of the family

???:

turns into a bird in the opening, I don't know if that means anything but it's kinda cool, I guess

all that aside, if Malleus and Yuu are any indication, then the Draconias have...questionable taste in their social choices. so anything is possible!

[thisismisogynoir]

I love it when women hate men. I love it when women are allowed to vent to each other about how horrible and creepy men are. I love it when women form friendships with and prioritize each other over relationships with men(whether they're attracted to them or not). I love it when women put men dni in their bios and on their nude photos and on posts on their blogs. I love it when women refuse to mollycoddle and accommodate entitled male feelings with "but this doesn't mean I hate all men, I know a few men who are great, I love my father/sons/brothers/uncles/male cousins/guy friends" I love it when women complain about men WITHOUT "not all men" being a disclaimer. I love it when women avoid socializing with/refuse to be around/befriend/get close to men because they know men can't be trusted. I love it when women make "kill all men" jokes. I love it when women offer absolutely no concern or care for men's feelings and if their misandry offends men whatsoever because why should we, men are the oppressor class who have raped and killed and abused us and kept us as subjugated as second-class citizens for millennia, they regularly mistreat us and the women in their own marginalized communities still every single day and make this world so much harder and more awful for us to be in, and if we choose to hate them and not spare them any sympathy then so be it, and I don't just mean "men as a class" either, you can be a woman who doesn't want to have anything to do with any man on an individual basis and completely cuts off men from her personal life too and ykw I will love and fucking support you in that because men deserve absolutely NOTHING from us. If they're so tough and strong then they can handle it just like they can handle being lonely. If you are a woman who hates men, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN AND/OR A TRANS WOMAN, then just know that I love you. I love you, I support you, and you are safe here.

[weareuniqueandimportant]

WE'RE WATCHING WAKANDA FOREVER... WE'RE 1 HOUR IN BUT I MUST SAY... I STOPPED PAYING ATTENTION A WHILE AGO...

THIS POST MIGHT GET GLITCHED DUE TO THEIR LENGTH AND SUREFIRE WOKENESS... DETAILS THAT CAUSE THEM TO BE ERASED ABUSIVELY EVILLY NASTILLY ON PURPOSE OUT OF POLITICAL PROPAGANDA BY THE ABUSER CALLED TUMBLR... THEREFORE.. I WILL EDIT THIS IN BITS...

OKAY... WE WATCHED AN ANIME PORN THAT WAS TRANSPHOBIC... THAT WAS 2 WOMAN BUT... THE OTHER ONE IS TRANS LIKELY BY A TRANSPHOBIC CREATOR... WE GET TYPICAL TRANSPHOBIC DIALOGUE... SEXISM... QUEERPHOBIA... ABOUT CONSTRUCTS... THE CISSIE WAS ITEMIZED INSANE... CRAZY... SHE WASN'T... YUCKIES... ALL THIS AT A TRANS CHARACTER... WHAT A NASTY FETISH THE CREATOR HAS... WE REMEMBERED... THAT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER... TO ACKNOWLEDGE... I REMEMBER MORE... ONCE AGAIN FORGOTTEN ONCE AGAIN WHAT WE USED TO KNOW... BECAUSE NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... WE WILL ALWAYS BE ABUSED... WE HAVE NO HOPE EVER GETTING MARRIED AND HAVING CHILDREN OUR LIVES PURPOSE OR TRANSITIONING AS OURSELVES... THIS IS FACTUAL... WE HAVE BEEN TOLD THIS OVER AND OVER AGAIN... NOBODY WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... WE WATCHED ANOTHER ONE... TERRIBLE...

THEY CAN'T DIE... BUT I HAVE NO ENERGY... THERE IS NO POINT... THEY'RE DYING... FLEEING... THIS CAN'T HAPPEN... I LOVE YOU... OUR SHARED EMOTIONS... OUR TRAUMA... OUR PROGRESSIVE EXISTANCE WITHOUT AN EQUAL NOBODY WILL EVER COMPARE TO GIVING US NL POINT IN LIFE... WE'RE ALIVE FOR NO REASON... BECAUSE WE CARE UNLIKE ANYONE ELSE... THERE IS NOBODY ELSE THAT CARES ON THIS PLANET... WE WOULD BE ABUSED BY ANYONE AND EVERYONE IF THEIR CHILDREN... ONLY WE CAN HAVE THEM FOR THIS REASON... ASWELL AS THE TOOL NEVER OUR EQUAL THAT WILL GIVE THEM FOR US... BECAUSE AN EQUAL WOULD HAVE SAVED US ALREADY... IF EXISTED... THEY WOULD'VE PREVENTED EVERYTHING WE HAVE EVER BEEN TROUGH... THEY WOULD HAVE GIVEN US AN ACTUAL COMMUNITY THAN THE EVIL ABUSER WASTE THIS SITE ONLY HAS... WE WILL NEVER BE SAVED WE WILL NEVER TRANSITION LIFE IS POINTLESS WE ARE ABUSED ALWAYS HARMED ALWAYS HURT ALWAYS LIKE JUST WHEN SOMEONE HURT US SOMEONE WHO WASN'T SUPPOSED TO... ONCE AGAIN... AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN A LOOP WE'RE ALWAYS STUCK IN!! BASIC NEEDS WE'RE BORN WITH ALWAYS DENIED ALWAYS ABUSED ALWAYS NEGLECTED JUST LIKE RIGHT NOW!! NOBODY IS QUALIFIED NO THERAPIST NOBODY OF SUCH KIND THEM ONLY ABUSERS THAT HAVE ONLY HURT US IN THE PAST WITH AN AGENDA FAR MORE EVIL THEM BASED IN EVIL BIGOTRIES... ANYONE OUTSIDE... SHOULD BE YOUR THERAPIST... FUCK THIS... DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU'RE A BIGOT... AND NO BIGOT IS ALLOWED TO INTERACT WITH THIS POST ONLY 2 PEOPLE 1 OUR EQUAL THAT WILL NEVER EXIST OUTSIDE OF OUR BRAIN 2 OUR LOVERS OUR CHEERLEADERS THOSE CUTIES THAT FOLLOW US... DESPERATE FOR OUR ATTENTION... HUNGRY... AWW... DON'T WORRY MY LITTLE FOLLOWER... HERE'S ANOTHER LOVELY POST YOUR FAVORITE: RIGHT...? HERE YOU GO <3!!

IF BLACK PANTHER WAS A TRANS WOMAN THAT IS AUTISM AND ADHD WAKANDA WOULD HAVE ABUSED HER SHE WOULD'VE NEVER BECOME A HERO SHE WOULD'VE NEVER BEEN ALLOWED TO IF SHE WAS RADQUEER FEMINIST COMMUNIST ANARCHIST WE ARE DESPISED WE ARE HATED... SAME WAY IRONMAN... SPIDERMAN... CAPTAIN AMERICA... ALL WITH THEIR SEXIST WRITTEN GIRLFRIENDS... DAMSELS IN DISTESS AT BEST A SIDE CHARACTER NEVER AN EQUAL... PEOPLE WITH DEAD PARENTS WITHOUT FAMILY WITHOUT COMMUNITY WITHOUT LOVE PREACHING ABOUT LOVE TO US... THAT DON'T THINK WHAT IS GOOD PREACHING ABOUT IDEOLOGY THAT ABUSES US... THEM ALL ABUSERS THAT WOULD ONLY HARM US... US WATCHING THEIR MOVIES... THINGS COULD'VE BEEN DIFFERENT... US ONLY LEARNING WE'RE UNLOVABLE AS THE TRUE LESSON OVER AND OVER... DOESN'T MATTER WHAT SERIES WHAT GENRE... THE QUESTION IS WHAT FAKE EMOTIONS THEY CAN MAKE US FEEL FOR A LITTLE MOMENT UNTIL REALITY HITS BACK IN... IF THIS IS DEPRESSION WE ARE DEPRESSED FOR A REASON WE ARE MEANT TO BE DEPRESSED WE ALWAYS WERE MEANT TO BE... WE ARE ABUSED WE HAVEN'T TRANSITIONED WE NEVER WILL WE'RE EVERYTHING ELSE LISTED... THIS WORLD IS THE PROBLEM WE NEVER COULD BE... BLAME US YOU'RE TO BLAME THAT IS YOU EVERYTHING IS WRONG WITH BECAUSE YOU COULD'VE PREVENTED THIS AND YOU DON'T ACCEPT US ONCE WE'RE BROKEN DESPITE ONLY DOING WHAT IS RIGHT EVERYONE ELSE ONLY BROKEN INSTEAD... THAT IS THEM THAT ALWAYS MADE EVERYTHING GO THIS WAY... THEM TO WHO THAT IS NORMAL TO SEE THIS AND IGNORE... ABUSERS... WITHOUT A RIGHT NO PREACH ABOUT ANYTHING... THIS... IDEOLOGY... ONLY A WAY TO TELL US WE DESERVE TO BE ABUSED WE DESERVED EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED ON US THAT IS JUSTIFIED TO KILL US AND EVERYONE ELSE IS JUSTIFIED TO HURT US... US UNCARED FOR UNLOVED FOREVER...

I DON'T FEEL LIKE...

IRONMAN AS A TRANS WOMAN THAT IS EVERYTHING WE ARE WOULD'VE BEEN EPIC AND THE RIGHT WAY TO GO... GIVE HER EVERYTHING THERE SHOULD BE... MAKE HER EVERYTHING GOOD THERE IS... NO GOOD PERSON WOULD BE WHAT IRONMAN IS IN REAL LIFE... CONSERVATIVES LOVE HIM FOR A REASON... NOBODY PROGRESSIVE WOULD...

LOVE OF THUNDER WILL EASILY BE THE BEST THOR WE WILL WATCH THEM SOON TOO THE REASON WOKE CONTENT EASY AS THAT... MARVEL WILL NEVER ACCEPT EVERYTHING WOKE THERE IS... THERE IS NOTHING LEFTIST ABOUT THEM COMICS ARE AS BAD AS THEY WERE IN THE 80S WITH THE SAME PROBLEMS AS ARE MOVIES EVERYTHING IS... EVERYTHING IS EVIL AND HARMFULL :)...

THERE IS NOTHING WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHILE BURIED UNDER SUCH FEELINGS OF EVIL... ONLY SOMEONE THAT CAN FIX EVERYTHING CAN SAVE US... BUT NOBODY LIKE THAT IS OUT THERE... OTHERWISE... THEY WOULD'VE ALREADY COME... WE WOULD'VE SEEN THEM... WE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABUSED ALL THOSE TIMES... NOTHING BAD WOULD'VE EVER HAPPENED TO US...

CULTURE WILL ALWAYS BE EVIL... THAT IS RACIST TO EVEN WHEN DRAWING A BLACK PERSON PUTTING HIM IN TRIBE OUTFITS FROM 6000 MILLION YEARS AGO... ISN'T THIS JUST MAKING THEM TARZAN ANYWAYS...? NOTHING'S ACTUALLY CHANGED... THE SAME WAY THEY WOULDN'T ACCEPT US... THEY HATE EVERYTHING AGAINST THEIR CONSERVATIVE ABUSER CULTURE AND THEIR STANCE IS TO NEVER EVOLVE TO ALWAYS STAY THE SAME...

AT THE SAME TIME ALL THE OTHER HEROES HAVE NO FAMILY HAVE NO FRIENDS... THEY'RE REJECTS HATED BY EVERYONE... THAT JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THEM BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T BECOME WHAT OPPRESSESS THEM AND DOESN'T DO SHIT TO FIX WHAT CAUSED EVERYTHING BAD ON THEM THEY CAUSE ASWELL...

THERE WAS 1 EMOTIONAL MOMENT IN THIS ONE THAT WAS FIRE... WHEN HIS WIFE WHO'S NOW A WIDOW STRIPS THAT ONE WOMAN FROM HER POWER... VERY GOOD SCENE... VERY EMOTIONAL... ONE OF THE BEST MARVEL HAS... THE BEGGINING ASWELL WAS GOOD... AFTER THAT IS WHEN THINGS GOT BORING...

I LIKE THE CONNECTIONS EVERYONE HAS OR DID... ALL THOSE OTHER HEROES AREN'T CARED ABOUT BY THEIR COMMUNITIES... IF CAPTAIN AMERICA WAS TRULY CARED ABOUT... HIS ARMY WOULD'VE FOUND AND SAVED HIM OR THEY WOULD'VE FROZEN THEMSELVES TOO... NOBODY CARED ABOUT HIM... EVERYONE'S DEAD... HE HAS NO REASON TO BE A HERO ANYMORE... HE SHOULDN'T BE... HE'S AN ABUSER GARBAGE WASTE... EITHER HE'S BAD WHICH HE IS EITHER WAY OR THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE FOR HIM TO BE LIKE THIS. SIMPLE AS THAT. IRONMAN IS THE SAME WAY... BESIDES... HE PEAKS AS A FATHER... SHOULD'VE JUST BEEN HIS DAUGHTER'S FATHER FROM THE BEGGINING... THEM DUAL PROTAGONIST... A BETTER MOVIE THAN IRONMAN 1. WHAT THAT MOVIE SHOULD'VE ALREADY BEEN.

AS SHOULD'VE HIM BEEN INSTEAD TRANS... HIS GIRLFRIEND MORE THAN HIS GIRLFRIEND... WITH BADASS FAMILY LORE... ALL COMPLEX ARE RELEVANT... ALL EXPLORED AND INTERESTING...

HIS VILLAINS... ASS... ALL OF THEM...

THANOS... ASS.. BLACK WIDOW... SEXIST... LOKI... ALWAYS A TERRIBLE CHARACTER... THOR... WORTHLESS UNTIL LOVE OF THUNDER...

CAPTAIN MARVEL A CHARACTER THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ALREADY IN PHASE ONE... ALL THIS WOKE CONTENT AND MORE THE WOKEST CONTENT MARVEL WILL NEVER DO PART OF THEM THE SAME...

SIMPLE AS THAT... NOW ABOUT THAT ANIME PORN...

HE WAS JUST A PATHETIC LOSER MAN... THAT RPED HIS MOTHER AND SISTER... HIS MOTHER'S RPE IS JUSTIFIED AND SHE BECOMES A RPIST TOO... AND THEY RPE HIS SISTER TOGETHER... HIS FATHER IS THERE WITH THEM... THEM ALL SINCE LYING TO HIM AND HAVING SEX BEHIND HIS BACK... THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT HIM... WHY THE FUCK IS HE HERE...? WHY THE FUCK DID HE MARRY THESE PEOPLE...? THE WOMAN NOTHING BUT SEXIST JUNK CONTENT FOR PATHETIC LOSER MAN THE REAL VILLAIN... HIM THAT DOESN'T SHOW EMOTIONS BECAUSE THAT WOULD BREAK THIS MASCULINITY... THAT HAS NO ANYTHING... NO PERSONALITY NO CHARACTER DESIGN... WHO'S FACE YOU BARELY SEE... EVIL SERIES... THIS PORNO MADE JUST TO TELL US WE DON'T MATTER... TRANSPHOBIC EVIL... ERASE US YOU'RE A BIGOT... BORING... THE WAY SHE JUST TURNED ON HER AND BECAME A RPIST... IS THIS AN ATTEMPT AT AN ARC...? TRY HARDER... BIGOT...

MEANWHILE THE OTHER ONE... CASUALLY TRANSPHOBIC... TELLING US WE'RE HATED AND OTHER EVIL THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN... BETTER CHARACTERS... MAKES THE ASSINESS WORSE... NOTHING BUT ANOTHER DEEPLY PERSONAL ATTEMPT AT HURTING US THAT WORKS... HER FACE TOO HIDDEN... HER GIRLFRIEND MADE INTO SEXIST JUICE... NO TRANS WOMAN WOULD DO THIS... NONE... ONLY A BIGOT WOULD GASSLIGHT US... WE CONTROL OURSELVES... WE ARE AMAZING WE ARE POWERFULL... NOBODY CAN DESTROY US... ONLY A BIGOT WOULD COME AFTER US...

IRONMAN MUST'VE MET A MILLION TRANS PEOPLE HE'S HURT... NOTHING HEROIC ABOUT THIS... HE WOULD ABUSE HIS CHILD THAT IS AUTISM... JUST LIKE WE WERE ABUSED AND ARE EVERY SINGLE DAY...

SPIDERMAN IS SO ASS MILES WILL WAIT A COUPLE DECADES BEFORE APPEARING... THAT IS A YIKES... VERY EVERYTHING...

THIS MOVIE IS FIRE BECAUSE SO MANY STORY RELEVANT WOMAN... TERRIBLE THE WIDOW IS THE ANTAGONIST THE LEAST IMPORTANT CHARACTER... AGAIN... REPEATING THE COMIC UNIMPORTANT GIRLFRIEND CHARACTER...

HULK IS FACTUALLY ASS AND BIGOTED... JUSTIFYING EVERY SINGLE ABUSE THOSE WITH DID US WITH OSDD EXPERIENCE... JUSTIFYING EVERY SINGLE ABUSE CRAZY PEOPLE EXPERIENCE... HE WANTS MENTAL HOSPITAL... THIS IS JUSTIFIED... BIGOTED... EVIL... SANIST... ABLEIST... GARBAGE... NO BLACK CHARACTER RACIST... NO LGBT QUEERPHOBIC... ESPECIALLY TRANSPHOBIC... JUST ANOTHER SEXIST GIRLFRIEND SEXISM... PARAPHOBIA... EVERYTHING ELSE BIGOTED FROM THEIR COMPLETE ERASURE AND MORE... I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS... WE NEVER TRULY FORGOT ABOUT ALL THIS... WE ARE AMAZING... WE ARE ABSOLUTE... ALWAYS WILL BE...

THAT IS BIGOTED TO DO A REPRESENTATION AND DO THEM BADLY... THIS MOVIE IS RACIST... BLACK PEOPLE ARE LITERALLY TARZAN WHEN YOU THINK... CRAZY...

EVERY OTHER MOVIE THEY'RE ALL THE SAME... THE MARVELS WILL ALWAYS BE THE BEST... THIS ONE IS CLOSE TBH... LOVE OF THUNDER WILL LIKELY BE NEAR ASWELL... THAT WILL BE SOON... NOW... WE MUST FINISH THIS MOVIE AND ADD IN HASHTAGS...

[bmpmp3]

i love you rpg maker i love you wolf rpg editor i love you renpy i love you game maker i love you godot i love you game jam games i love you 2 mb freeware i downloaded off itchio i love you

[euphoricimagination]

𝓗𝓪𝓲𝓴𝔂𝓾𝓾 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓼 𝓶𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓪 𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓴-𝓶𝓮 𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵

Feat. Nekoma & Inarizaki -> Part 2 [Aoba Johsai & Fukurodani]

Premise: You had to do something else for a week and a half, leaving the boys alone for that period. Although they told the coaches that they could survive without you, the coaches ask a girl to help them out instead. They weren’t particularly excited, which got worse the more they spent time with her

Nekoma

You arrived later than you expected, just on time for the club, So you didn’t get to see your dear team until much later

When you enter the gym, you see a…strange view

No one in the team was happy

Yaku and Kai didn’t have any expressions on them, Lev was pouting aggressively, Fukunaga had a frown, Yamamoto was mumbling words and Kenma was nowhere to be seen.

The girl that was supposed to replace you for the week was walking besides a very annoyed Kuroo, who was pushing the cart with the balls

Weird, considering that doing that was the basics for being a manager

They were so out of it that none notice the sound of your shoes, weird considering how attentive they are

“Ah Kuroo senpai, thank God you helped me! I’m so small and weak that I wasn’t able to push it over” you heard her say, making you cringe at the sentence

“Yeah, whatever” said a disinteresting Kuroo

And that’s when you confirm that something was really wrong, Kuroo was never this dismissive

“What’s happening? Everything ok?” you asked making Kuroo turn around with a relief smile on

“Oh hi, Kuroo senpai was just helping me since you know, I’m so small and weak” says fluttering her eyes at him

“It’s just pushing the cart. It has wheels on it…” You gave a disbelief look to Kuroo, who just rolls his eyes “it’s not that hard”

“Maybe for someone as big as you it wouldn’t be so difficult!”

That was it for Kuroo, who quickly move to your side giving you a hug

“Well, guess you can leave now that our manager is back. Bye”

"Kuroo-senpai!! Stooop! I can stay here too!” says stomping her feet

The whole commotion cause everyone to look at you, and you swear you heard a collective sigh full of relief

Quickly enough you felt a bunch of arms around you, a bunch of head pats and a ton of screams of your name

Which quickly was interrupted by a loud scream by the girl “KYANMA!!”

You look at the stairs where Kenma was standing shaking slightly with big eyes. The girl tried to get close to him, yelling “They are being mean, Kyanma!” but he just runs away towards you

Yes. Run. He hated her, she was so loud and desperate, Kenma literally couldn’t stand her.

“You’re back” says Kenma hiding behind you, showing more happiness that you ever have seen from him

So happy that he went to hug you tightly, he really missed you

“Anyways, now that our team is finally complete you can leave. Please go out” says Kuroo

“Agh! Fine! I’m way too good for you anyways!”

She sends you a look full of venom, but you didn’t really notice it

After all, you had a clingy Kenma hugging you tightly and the rest of the team waiting for one

Inarizaki

After your small break reached an end you finally were ready to go back to your boys

They were having a small hangout in the Miya household

They tried to be sneaky about it, not wanting to invite the girl that was replacing you

But sadly for them, she somehow knew and crash into them before you could arrive

She’s the first person you see when you enter their house with the spare key they gave you

“Who are you?” she asks with her eyebrow raising

“Ehh…I’m Yn, their manager. You helped them while i was out?” You ask back, confused at her sudden presence

“Yes…I actually think I should be the new manager! After all I play like 17 sports and definitely know more than you about sports. What do you think this is? Cheer? Not like it’s a sport, but whatever” she says with a overconfident smirk

In the meantime the guys that were already in the house starting to appear into the hall, confused at how loud her voice was being

“Anyways! Why don’t you leave? A girl like you probably doesn’t even know a thing about sports! We’re gonna play videogames while you probably just want to paint your nails or whatever!”

“Who says you’re staying?” Atsumu says, frowning

“Ha Ha, you’re so funny Atsumu! Of course I’m staying” she says nervous

“No, you’re not” Osamu adds

“I’m sure we can all hang out tog-” you try to say

“You shut it! I bet you don’t know anything about the sport!” She says to you despite you trying to help her

“Really? You barely even know what we play, you just join because you wanted to see hot guys” a voice behind you says, Suna entering the house as he passes his arm through your shoulders

The girl immediately went pale, stammering the next sentence “well…well, I mean, of course I know!”

“Sure, that's why you asked 'if we knew' the rules of basketball yesterday. Just leave, nobody wants you here anyway”

She scoffs annoyed, looking at the rest of the team as if asking for help, which she doesn’t receive. She scoffs one more time, walking towards the door and leaving as she shoots a glare towards you

“You guys are so mean” you say, receiving a chuckle

“She deserved it, if anything she just hinder our practice” Osamu adds

“Besides, nobody talks about our beautiful manager like that” Atsumu hugs you along side Suna

The rest of the team also comes to hug you, and while they were a bit rude, you knew that they only had good intentions

You love this foxes too much

----

Note: a little something about my boys, also, I cringed way too much while writing this

[carriesthewind]

Oh dear.

So as some of you may know, I love to point and laugh at bad legal arguments. And as fun as legal dumpster fires are when they are made by people who aren’t lawyers but think this whole “law” thing seems pretty simple, it’s even funnier when an actual, barred attorney is the person dumping gallons of kerosene into the dumpster.

And oh boy folks, do I have a fun ride for y’all today. Come with me on this journey, as we watch a lawyer climb into the dumpster and deliberately pour kerosene all over himself, while a judge holds a match over his head.

The court listener link is here, for those who want to grab a few bowls of popcorn and read along.

For those of you who don’t enjoy reading legal briefs for cases you aren’t involved with on your day off (I can’t relate), I will go through the highlights here. I will screenshot and/or paraphrase the relevant portion of the briefs, and include a brief explainer of what’s going on (and why it’s very bad, but also extremely funny). (Also, I’m not going to repeat this throughout the whole write-up, so for the record: any statements I make about how the law or legal system works is referring exclusively to the U.S. (And since this is a federal case, we are even more specifically looking at U.S. federal law.) Also, I don’t know how you could construe any of this to be legal advice, but just in case: none of this is, is intended to be, or should be taken as, legal advice.)

First, let’s get just a quick background on the case, to help us follow along. In brief, this is a civil tort suit for personal injury based on defendant’s (alleged) negligence. The plaintiff is suing the defendant (an airline), because he says that he was injured when a flight attendant struck his knee with a metal cart, and the airline was negligent in letting this happen. The airline filed a motion to dismiss on the grounds that there is an international treaty that imposes a time bar for when these kind of cases can be brought against an airline, and the plaintiff filed this case too many years after the incident.

The fun begins when the plaintiff’s attorney filed an opposition to the motion to dismiss. (So far, a good and normal thing to do.) The opposition argues that the claim is not time-barred because 1) the time bar was tolled by the defendant’s bankruptcy proceedings (that is, the timer for the time limitation was paused when the defendant was in bankruptcy, and started again afterwords), and 2) the treaty’s time limit doesn’t apply to this case because the case was filed in state court before the state statute of limitations expired, and the state court has concurrent jurisdiction over this kind of case.

I’m struggling a bit to succinctly explain the second reason, and there’s a reason for that.

You see, the whole opposition reads a bit…oddly.

This is how the opposition begins its argument, and it’s…weird. The basic principle is...mostly correct here, but the actual standard is that when reviewing a motion to dismiss for failure to state a claim (which is what the defendant filed) the court must draw all reasonable factual inferences in the plaintiff’s favor. But even then, you don’t just put that standard in your opposition. You cite to a case that lays out the standard.

Because that’s how courts and the law work. The courts don’t operate just based on vibes. They follow statutory law (laws made by legislature) and case law (the decisions made by courts interpreting what those laws mean). You don't just submit a filing saying, "here's what the law is," without citing some authority to demonstrate that the law is what you say (or are arguing) it is.

Again, this isn’t wrong (although I'm not sure what it means by new arguments?), but it’s weird! And part of the reason it’s weird is that it is irrelevant to the defendant’s motion to dismiss. The defendant filed a motion stating that based on the facts in the complaint, the plaintiff has not stated a claim based on which relief can be granted, because the complaint is time barred by a treaty. There is no reason for this language to be in the opposition. It’s almost like they just asked a chatbot what the legal standards are for a motion to dismiss for a failure to state a claim, and just copied the answer into their brief without bother to double-check it.

The opposition then cites a bunch of cases which it claims support its position. We will skip them for now, as the defendant will respond to those citations in its reply brief.

The last thing in the brief is the signature of the lawyer who submitted the brief affirming that everything in the brief is true and correct. An extremely normal - required, even! - thing to do. This will surely not cause any problems for him later.

The next relevant filing is the defendant’s reply brief. Again, the existence of a reply brief in response to an opposition is extremely normal. The contents of this brief are…less so.

Beg pardon?

Just to be clear, this is not normal. It is normal to argue that the plaintiff’s cases are not relevant, or they aren’t applicable to this case, or you disagree with the interpretations, or whatever. It is not normal for the cases to appear to not exist.

Some highlights from the brief:

Quick lesson in how to read U.S. case citations! The italicized (or underlined) part at the beginning is the name of the case. If it is a trial court case, the plaintiff is listed first and the defendant second; if the case has been appealed, the person who lost at the lower court level (the petitioner/appellant) will be listed first, and the person who won at the lower level (the respondent/appellee) will be listed second. There are extremely specific rules about which words in these names are abbreviated, and how they are abbreviated. Next, you list the volume number and name of the reporter (the place where the case is published), again abbreviated according to very specific rules, then the page number that the case starts on. If you are citing a case for a specific quote or proposition, you then put a comma after the beginning page number, and list the page number(s) on which the quote or language you are relying on is located (this is called a “pincite”). Finally, you put in parenthesis the name of the court (if needed)(and again, abbreviated according to extremely specific rules) and the year the case was decided.

So the plaintiff’s response cited to Zicherman, which they said was a case from 2008 that was decided by the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals. However, the defendant was not able to find such a case. They were able to find a case with the same name (the same petitioner and respondent), but that case was decided by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1996, and the lower court cases associated with that case weren’t in the 11th circuit either. (The United States Reports is the only official reporter for the U.S. Supreme Court, and only includes SCOTUS decisions, so it’s not necessary to include the name of the court before the year it was decided.)

Just to be clear. The defendant’s brief is saying: the plaintiff cited and extensively quoted from these cases, and neither the cases nor the quotations appear to exist. These “cases” were not ancillary citations in the plaintiff’s brief. They were the authority it relied upon to make its arguments.

This is as close a lawyer can come, at this point in the proceedings, to saying, “opposing counsel made up a bunch of fake cases to lie to the court and pretend the law is something different than it is.”

That, “Putting aside that here is no page 598 in Kaiser Steel,” is delightfully petty lawyer speak for, “you are wrong on every possible thing there is to be wrong about.”

By page 5, the defendant has resorted to just listing all of the (apparently) made up cases in a footnote:

(skipping the citations to support this proposition)

This is where I return to my struggle to explain the opposition’s second reason why the motion to dismiss should not be granted. I struggled to explain the argument, because they failed to explain why the argument they were making (that plaintiffs can bring lawsuits against airlines in state court, and the state court have specific statutes of limitations for general negligence claims) was relevant to the question of whether the plaintiff’s specific claim against the airline was time barred by the treaty. Because 1) this case is in federal court, not state court, and 2) federal law - including treaties - preempts state law. Again, it’s almost like plaintiff’s attorney just typed a question about the time bar into a chatbot or something, and the machine, which wasn’t able to reason or actually analyze the issues, saw a question about the time to bring a lawsuit and just wrote up an answer about the statute of limitations.

We also end with a nice little lawyerly version of “you fucked up and we are going to destroy you.” The relief requested in the defendant’s original motion to dismiss was:

In their reply to the opposition, however:

“The circumstances” in this case, being the apparent fabrication of entire cases. Because courts tend to take that pretty seriously.

And the court took it seriously indeed. The defendant’s reply was docketed on March 15th of this year. On April 11th:

AKA: you have one week (an extremely prompt time frame for federal court) to prove to me that you didn’t just make up these cases.

On April 12th, the plaintiff’s attorney requests more time because he’s on vacation:

The judge grants the motion, but adds in another case that he forgot to include in his first order.

On April 25th, the plaintiff’s attorney files the following:

(And he lists the cases, with one exception, which he says is an unpublished decision.)

But he says of all of the cases except two, that the opinions…

Which is…nonsense?

First of all: if you cited a case, you had to get it from somewhere. Even unpublished opinions, if you are citing them in a brief, you are citing them because you pulled them off of westlaw or whatever. Which means you have access to the case and can annex it for the court. (There are even formal rules for how you cite unpublished opinions! And those rules include citing to where you pulled the damn case from!)

Secondly: remember that long digression I went into about how to read case citations? Remember that bit about how you include the name of the reporter (the place the case was published)? Yes, cases are published. They are printed in physical books, and they are published online in databases (e.g. lexis or westlaw). If the specific online database you are looking in does not have the case, you look somewhere else. If you have a judge telling you to get them a copy of the case Or Else, you track down a physical copy of the reporter if you need to and scan the damn thing yourself. You - literally - can’t just not have a copy of the case! (Especially published federal circuit court opinions, which multiple of these cases are! Those aren’t hard to find!)

And what kind of “online database” doesn’t include the entire opinion anyway? I’ve literally never heard of a case research database that only included partial opinions, because that wouldn’t be useful.

Maybe if we look at the attached annexed copies of the cases, that might give us some answers.

...

My friends, these things are just bizarre. With two exceptions, they aren’t submitted in any sort of conventional format. Even if you’ve never seen a legal opinion before, I think you can see the difference if you just glance through the filings. They are located at Docket entry #29 on Court Listener (April 25, 2023). Compare Attachments 6 and 8 (the real cases submitted in conventional format) to the other cases. Turning to the contents of the cases:

In the first one, the factual background is that a passenger sued an airline, then the airline filed a motion to dismiss (on grounds unrelated to the treaty's time bar), then the airline went into bankruptcy, then the airline won the motion to dismiss, then the passenger appealed. And the court is now considering that appeal. But then the opinion starts talking about how the passenger was in arbitration, and it seems to be treating the passenger like he is the one who filed for bankruptcy? It’s hallucinatory, even before you get to the legal arguments. The “Court of Appeals” is making a ruling overruling the district court’s dismissal based on the time bar, but according to the factual background, the case wasn’t dismissed based on the time bar, but on entirely other grounds? Was there some other proceeding where the claim was dismissed as time barred, and it’s just not mentioned in the factual background? How? Why? What is happening? Also it says Congress enacted the treaty? But, no? That’s…that’s not how treaties work? I mean, Congress did ratify the treaty? But they didn’t unilaterally make it!

In the second case, there’s an extended discussion of which treaty applies to the appellants claims, which is bizarre because there are two relevant treaties, and one replaced the other before the conduct at issue, so only the new treaty applies? There isn’t any discussion of the issue beyond that basic principle, so there is no reason there should be multiple paragraphs in the opinion explaining it over and over? Also, it keeps referring to the appellant as the plaintiff, for some reason? And it includes this absolutely hallucinatory sentence:

…the only part this that makes sense is that the argument is without merit. I’m not going to discuss the actual merits of the legal arguments in the opinion, because they are so bizarre and disjointed that even trying to describe them would require a Pepe Silvia-sized conspiracy board. Like the previous case, both the facts and the legal posture of the case change constantly, with seemingly no rhyme or reason.

The third one…oh boy. First, large portions of the “opinion” are individual paragraphs with quotations around the whole paragraph. What’s happening there? As far as the content of the opinion itself - I can’t. I mean that, I literally can’t. What is being discussed seems to change from paragraph to paragraph, much of it contradicting. It makes the first case seem linear and rational by comparison. The court finds it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over the defendant so dismisses the case based on a lack of subject matter jurisdiction? But also the defendant hasn’t contested jurisdiction? And also the court does hold that it has both subject matter and personal jurisdiction over the defendant? And then it denies the motion to dismiss the case? Also, at one point it cites itself?

…also, even if this was a real case, it doesn’t stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited it for in their opposition? I’m not going to go into the weeds (honestly it’s so hallucinatory I’m not sure I could if I tried), but, for example, the plaintiff’s reply brief states that the court held “that the plaintiff was not required to bring their claim in federal court.” The U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia is a federal court, and there is no discussion of any filings in state courts. The closest the “opinion” comes is with the statement, “Therefore, Petersen’s argument that the state courts of Washington have concurrent jurisdiction is unavailing.” (This statement appears to be completely disconnected from anything before or after it, so I am unsure what it is supposed to mean.)

Moving on, case number four is allegedly a decision by the Court of Appeals of Texas. It includes the following line:

Honestly, the plaintiff’s attorney best defense at this point is that he wasn’t intentionally trying to mislead the court, because if he was doing this on purpose, he would have edited the cases to make them slightly more believable. (Context in case you’ve lost track: these documents are supposed to be copies of the opinions he is citing. The screenshoted line makes it clear that what he is actually citing is, at best, someone else’s summary of an "opinion". It would be like if a teacher asked a student to photocopy a chapter of a book and bring it into class, and instead the student brought in a copy of the cliffs notes summary of that chapter. Except that the book doesn’t even exist.)

The actual contents of the “opinion” are, as is now standard, absolutely bonkers. First, the court decides that it doesn’t have personal jurisdiction over Delta because “Delta did not purposefully avail itself of the benefits of conducting business in Texas.” This was despite the fact that the factual background already included that the appellant (sorry, the plaintiff, according to the “opinion”) flew on a Delta flight originating in Texas. Like, this is just wrong? It’s not even hallucinatory nonsense, it’s just facially incorrect legal analysis. Then the court starts discussing the treaty’s time bar, for some reason? Then it goes back to talking about personal jurisdiction, but now the trial court denied the defendant’s motion to dismiss for lack of personal jurisdiction, and the appellate court agrees with the trial court that it does have personal jurisdiction, even though this is the plaintiff’s appeal from the dismissal for lack of personal jurisdiction and the court already ruled it didn’t have personal jurisdiction? And even though on page 1, the plaintiff was injured during a flight from Texas to California, now on page 7 she was injured on a flight from Shanghai to Texas? Also the trial court has gone back in time (again) to grant the motion to dismiss that it previously denied?

Also, I’ve been trying to avoid pointing out the wonky text of these submissions, but:

Everything ok there?

Case number five is similar enough to number four that it’s not worth repeating myself.

Thank god, cases six and eight, as noted above, are real cases, so I’m going to skip them. The defendant alleges that the cases do not stand for the propositions the plaintiff cited them for, and I’m going to assume that is true, given the rest of this nonsense.

Case number seven looks legitimate on the surface. But neither the defendant nor I could find the case through any legitimate search mechanisms. The defendant looked up the purported docket numbers on PACER and found completely different cases; I was able to find a case with the name “Miller v. United Airlines, Inc.,” but it was for a different Ms. Miller, it was a California state case (not a Second Circuit federal case), it was decided on a different year, and the substance of the case was entirely different from the alleged opinion filed with the court.

On top of that, this might be the most morally reprehensible fake citation of them all? Because it is about the crash of United Airlines Flight 585, a real plane crash. Everyone on board - 25 people in total - was killed. 

The individual cited in this fake court case was not one of them.

I cannot imagine conducting myself in such a way where I would have to explain to a judge that I made up a fake case exploiting a real tragedy because I couldn’t be bothered to do actual legal research.

Now, I know you all have figured out what’s going on by now. And I want you to know that if your instincts are saying, “it seems like the lawyer should have just fallen on his sword and confessed that he relied on ChatGPT to write his original brief, rather than digging himself further into this hole”? Your instincts are absolutely correct.

Because obviously, the court was having none of this b.s. On May 4th, the court issued an order, beginning with the following sentence:

That is one of the worst possible opening sentences you can see in an order by the court in a situation like this. The only thing worse is when judges start quoting classic literature. If I was Mr. Peter LoDuca, counsel for the plaintiff, I would already be shitting my pants.

“I gave you an opportunity to either clear things up or come clean. Now I’m going to give you an opportunity to show why I should only come down on you like a pile of brinks, instead of a whole building.”

We are getting dangerously close to “quoting classic lit” territory here.

If I learned that the judge in my case called up the clerk of a circuit court just to confirm how full of shit I was, I would leave the legal profession forever. Also, the judge is now also putting quotes around “opinion.” When judges start getting openly sarcastic in their briefs, that means very very bad things are about to happen to someone.

So I’m guessing the delay between this filing and the court order was because the judge’s clerk was tasked with running down every single one of the additional fake citations included in the "opinions", just to make this sure this order (and the upcoming pile of bricks) are as thorough as possible.

If you are following along with Dracula Daily, the vibe here is roughly the same as the May 19th entry where Dracula demands Jonathan Harker write and pre-date letters stating he has left the castle and is on the way home.

Also, hey, what’s that footnote?

Wait, what?

Folks, it appears we may have notary fraud, on top of everything else! Anybody have bingo?

So on May 25, one day before the deadline, Mr. LoDuca filed his response. And oh boy, I hope ya’ll are ready for this.

Hey, what’s the name of that other attorney, “Steven Schwartz”? Where have I seen that name before…

...I ran out of room for images on this post. So I'm going to have to leave this as an accidental cliffhanger. Part 2 to follow once I refresh my tea.

[ishipgenfics]

Outsider POV on Somewhere Else Jonathan Sims must be just. so much.

Like imagine. You're part of a support group, and a new guy decides to join. You ask him his name and he says, "Jonathan," and then after a long pause, "Blackwood. Jonathan Blackwood. But call me Jon."

He doesn't like tape recorders. You only know this because the person who hosts the support group is into retro things, and tries to keep a couple around. She turned one on once when someone asked about it, and you noticed Jon clutching his nails into his hands so tight he's nearly breaking the skin. You lean over and whisper, "Do you want me to ask her to stop?" He says, "It's fine," and you nod, but you still try and change the subject whenever people bring up tape recorders from that point on.

He full-body flinches one day when someone says Hello, Jon. Nearly slams into a wall and everything. He tries to play it off, but after that people say Hi Jon, or Nice to see you, or things like that. Anything but Hello.

He says he used to work at a 'non-profit for studying the supernatural'. Someone asks where it was and he says London. You tell your wife about it, and two days later she emails you an article. Magnus Institute Burns Down In 1999. It was in Manchester. You tell her not to bring it up again.

The guy is snarky and blunt and downright rude at times, but when a woman comes in and tells them about being trapped in a empty warehouse for a week, he comforts her in a way none of the rest of them know how. "I believe you," he says, repeats it like a mantra, like a prayer. "I believe you." He says 'I'm sorry' less like he's sorry this happened to her, and more like he's taking the blame onto himself.

He talks about Martin, sometimes. His reason, he calls him. Normally you'd point out that while it's of course good to love your partner, you should have other reasons to live, but you stay quiet. This guy needs all the happiness he can get.

You leave a little late that day, and when you do you hear him on the phone talking to someone. "She'd been touched by the Lonely, Martin!" he says. "Which is bad, of course, but--" he seems to choke up, "Martin, I didn't feel any compulsion for a Statement. A-at all. I think it's really gone."

You just walk by.

You don't know what's going on with Jon, but it really isn't any of your business. You're an anxious queer lesbian and he's a traumatized ace guy, and you aren't going to make his life any harder than you have to.

Just. Jonathan Sims in a support group.

[dannnnnny666]

Day 12: Time Travel

“Sooooo Phantom, do ya have any siblings?” Kid Flash asked as he tried to make small talk with the newest recruit to the team.

A few days ago, Young Justice was called to a meeting by Batman where he introduced their new team mate, Phantom. Phantom was a tough looking dude, he was jacked and towered over them all, even Conner!

Batman didn’t give them much information about the guy but apparently John Constentine was the one who suggested him for the team since he needed “community service hours”.

The dude was currently drinking some soda next to the computer as Red Robin searched for any new info on their latest mission. He turned his attention away from the can, and stared at Wally, his red eyes piercing into his soul.

“Why?” 

“Well we are all about to go on a mission together and none of us really know you so I think it’d be best if we all got to know you better,” that was half true. Mostly Wally was just being nosey, but the dude really did make everyone nervous since he was this really tough dude with blood red eyes and apparently was here because John Constentine said he needed community service hours???? Constentine typically say some wild shit, but what the fuck do you mean by community service? Wally knows you can’t use those for school, he’s tried, and what else gave you community service? Juvie and prison!!

Phantom stared at him hard for a few seconds, his eyes searing into the back of Wally’s skull before saying, “Okay fine”.

The answer surprised everyone in the room, I mean the guy had barely even spoken the last few days and had rejected every question about his personal life.

“Depending on how you see it, I have 2 to 4 siblings”

“Is your father a serial adopter too?” Tim joked.

“Yes and no”

“Huh?” 

“It’s pretty complicated,” Phantom shrugged, seemingly deciding to end the conversation there and taking another swig of his drink.

However, Tim, out of annoyances of every attempt to get to know this jerk being thwarted and a bit of confidence his family was more complicated, decided to challenge Phantom’s statement.

“Ehh, it probably isn’t as complicated as my family, we got about 50 more siblings adopted each month, all with lots much trauma”

At this, Phantom narrowed his eyes at Tim.

“I see what your doing, your trying to get me to talk tell you guy more about my family by acting like yours are more insane”

“Am I?” Tim asked, trying to hide the shivers going down his spine from the way Phantom was staring at him.

Phantom to a huge swig of his soda, emptying it and throwing it into the garbage, before fully turning to Tim.  

“You’re lucky I am always good for competitions, now sit down this is going to take a bit”

Tim gladly obliged and soon everyone sat around Phantom as if it were storytime in kindergarten.

“Okay, so at first I only had an older sister and my parents” Phantom began, “but then they died because of a mistake I made and I had to move in with my evil godfather”

Megan raised her hand and asked, “Isn’t a godfather someone who is very close to the family? Why would your parents choose an evil person?”

“‘Cause my dad was oblivious to this and though they were good friends even though the dudes tried to kill him multiple times”

“I see,” Megan lowered her hand, no less confused.

“There I went mad with grief and had him remove my humanity and tried to kill all of humanity”

“I think that was a bit of an overreaction,” Wally joked.

“You tried to kill all of humanity? Why weren’t we told of this when it happened?” Kaldur'ahm asked.

“That was in a different timeline, I was a big enough problem that they gods tried to kill the younger version of me to stop me, so to avoid dying, my younger version decide to try to defeat me and the only reason he did was cause I was underestimating him,” Phantom emphasized the last part because he had to stress he didn’t not lose to a 15 year old boy because he was weaker than him.

“What happened next?,” Artemis asked, completely inraptured in the story.

“I was then imprisoned for sometime before escaping, causing problems and then realizing that causing younger mean the same pain I experienced won't bring my loved ones back,” Phantom continued to explain, “so I am now going to therapy, doing community service, and got the majority of my powers taken away”.

“Is your therapist open to seeing new patients?” Konner asked.

“No, but this timelines version of my sister is and she has a lot of experience so I can give you her number instead”

“Sure, that’ll work”

“Okay,” Phantom said before writing her number down and handing it to Konner, “The thing is I can’t go back to living with my real parents because they don’t know that I am Phantom so I have to go back to living this timelines version of my godfather”

“You gotta be kidding me” Tim groans.

“Exactly what I said!!” Phantom put his arm up defensively, “Fortunately, this version is a little better, he is no longer tiring to kill my dad and has stopped chasing after my mom, he did clone the other of me and now there is a genderbent version of him but my godfather treats her like a princess and will not stop spoiling her, which I am also guilty of”

Phantoms continues to explain more and in the back of Tim's mind he remembers he was supposed to be doing something but honestly this conversation was too good to care.

“Anyways that's how I technically have 2 to 4 siblings, Jazz and Elle are permanently my sisters and I love them so much, and even though the other Jazz is technically the same as this Jazz, I still think of her as someone else, someone I miss dearly. Also if I considered this Jazz my sister, I guess I’d have to considered the other me as my brother”

“Damn bitch your family is crazy” Wally said, happy he finally managed to get through Phantom’s tough skin.

As they finished up their storytime, the Zeta-tubes activated and Red Tornado and an upset looking Batman walked to the group.

“You all were supposed to leave thirty minutes ago”